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wallpaper-inside-my-heart · 4 months

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💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

IMPORTANT NOTES (that I forgot to include in todays ask):

If you aren't done with answering all your questions yet, but want to; then don't feel any pressure to do this today 🤗 Just bc it says december on the tin, doesn't mean I will appreciate getting your answer any less, if it's in late january or smth 🫶

also: I promise I will get around to looking at & interacting with everyone's responses! I promise I did not forget about you, I have just been/still am incredibly busy irl 🙈

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, buckle in folks, this is a long one 😅✨

(Split into three parts like the other asks; No pressure to any of you to do the same tho, I just really like this format and it suited my thoughts/organizing needs)

My favourite smosh related memories of 2023 (chronologically):

Tldr:

1.) Joining the smoshblr community 💚

2.) Spommy nation 💜

3.) Smoshblr December Asks 💛💙

now for anyone who is interested in me rambling way too much:

Joining the Smoshblr community 💚

I got into smosh at the start of this year bc of the Reddit stories videos (I watched a couple smosh vids over the years before, but never consistently followed their releases). They became smth I looked forward to every week and lead me to check out more smosh videos in general! I also remember checking the tumblr tag for smosh back then and being a little disappointed, that the fandom was fairly inactive, barring a few exceptions <3

And then the reunion happened and it took me like 3 whole days or so to actually realizewhat went down 🙈. Bc I saw the thumbnails for the interview and the 2t1l vids and was just like “Aww, it’s so nice that they are friends again and doing a collab! 😊 (I’ll watch these later tho…)” Little did I know that finally watching them would turn my year around in a way that I could have never seen coming!

Suddenly the Smoshblr community exploded with activity and so so many lovely ppl joined and started sharing their thoughts and feelings about the reunion. And while I wasn’t an OG fan by any stretch, it really felt like there was magic in the air/ on this platform! 😹💕

I’ve been into fandom for more than half of my life by now. But I’ve never really gotten “personally” involved in any active communities. Just someone hovering on the sidelines and simply liking & reblogging stuff from time to time.

But with this community smth just started to click for me and made me to get “more out of my shell” or whatever idioms might apply here. And this allowed me to meet so many awesome people!! 💖 Special shoutout to @wiggog-y-hecox 💜, who was literally my first friend in this community! I still so fondly remember our talks about your cool smosh AU concepts! 🤗💙 And also to @swiftllama 🩵 for discussing so many taylor swift lyrics and ianthony with me (+occasionally good omens too 😹💕) And also @japhan2023! 💚 I know we’ve been chatting on and off since the beginning, but I am also so so happy that this month in particular allowed us to grow even closer!

2. Spommy nation 💜

So we’re moving into the middle/end of summer now on the timeline for this one. I was in the middle of writing my bachelor thesis and really going through it mentally bc of that. Getting deeper and deeper into the Smoshblr community also lead me to check out more smosh fanfics in general. Which is how I discovered the fic the right side of my neck (still smells like you) - jovenshires (imdeansgirl) - Smosh [Archive of Our Own] by our beloved @jovenshires 🩷.

Now I’ve told Katie <3 this story before so I’ll keep it brief here; but basically smth about this fic was incredibly comforting to my overworked brain. And I’ve reread it more times that I’ve ever read a fanfic in my life before that. And I truly think it has forever changed my brain chemistry, and also made me very attached to this ship (aside from the fact, that spommy is genuinely such an amazingly adorable ship with incredible amounts of potential, like!! I don’t wanna downplay that bc of the chemical reactions in my brain around that time 🙈) Some more stuff happened which eventually lead me to become friends with Katie, who is truly one of the ppl I treasure the most in the world at this point 💖

But I also wanted to mention Spommy nation as a whole, bc this subsection of the fandom is filled with so many kind, creative and just generally amazing people!And I also just love all of us freaking out whenever we get new crumbs for this ship lmao 😹💕

Special shoutouts to @soupy-girl 💛, Kit! @hoohoobeanie 🖤, Mer!!! @tommybowefuneralattendee 💜, @ancientvamp 🤍 & Snel @blondeforyou 💙 for being some of spommy’s nations strongest soldiers 🫡 and also absolutely lovely and incredible people in general, who I adore so so much🫶🥰

3. Smoshblr December asks 💛💙

I doubt anyone didn’t see this coming 🙈😹

So, I had been meaning to do smth inspired by the “Shayne guesses” series for a while now (also the fact that the official smosh compilation of those vids dropped this week, near the end of this challenge, is so funny to me for some reason). But I never quite figured out how to do it, since I knew guessing for eachother would be difficult. And if I just started randomly messaging all the blogs I’ve followed with an onslaught of these questions, it might get a bit weird or overwhelming 😅…

⚠️slight too personal ramblings ahead, that I don’t wanna force on anyone without warning⚠️

And then, towards the end of November, I gotta be honest, I was really not doing well, especially mentally. (First masters semester and I was still sorta dealing with the damage I caused to my brain while writing the thesis and barely getting two weeks between defending it and starting the new semester to truly recover from it all) And I knew december would get worse, bc I still hadn’t finished all the Christmas presents for my family, assignments were piling up & I kept on catching way too little sleep.

So all of these stressful thoughts made me think “You know, a lot of other ppl are probably struggling with similar stuff rn, especially during these dark & cold times of the year. So why not try to do smth that might bring some joy or fun into other ppl’s lives?” And that’s how I literally typed up that initial post, two days before December started without having planned it for more than a literal day or so 🙈😹 (I did already have a long list of questions, bc I started doing the top 3 stuff in my friendgroup, but rearranging everything to fit the sorta 3-day cycle I wanted to do, still happened up until last week lmao; tho I always knew that this would be the last question <3)

(end of rambling ⚠️)

And I was genuinely, positively overwhelmed by how many people wanted to join in for this silly little game!🥹 I love and appreciate all of you, whether you stuck around for the whole month, might still be catching up on some of the questions (which, no worries, I know there were a lot 🤗) or just answered a few of them! 🤗💖 And as I am currently fighting the urge to tag every single person who participated in this activity, I cannot help myself but atthe very least tag the ppl that I feel like I have grown closest to/gotten to know a hell of a lot better, over the course of this month (some of which I may have known/followed for a while now, but some I also got to know mainly bc of them joining in on this journey with me in the first place: @ceilidhasworld ❤️, @fantasticduckchaos 🩶, @notthatalex 🖤, @natashasbitxh 🧡, @shaynetopps 💜, @only-frann 💛, @smoshmonker 💚, @smoshidiot 🩷, @craintheodora 🩵, and so so many more of you guys! I just don’t want this entire post to become a taglist or send this to too many ppls notifications 🙈🫶

Note:

I know that I am super behind on interacting with everyone's responses! 🙈 And I promise that I will get to each of them eventually! 🤗 I am just super busy with assignments and exam prep atm. And also get very easily overwhelmed by talking a lot to people, even if it's just online 😅 (I love and appreciate ppl reaching out, asking questions or otherwise trying to have a conversation with me tho! It might just take me a good while to respond in some cases, which I promise has nothing to do with how much I value any of you 🥹🫶💞)

PS: The month might be over, but I do have something special planned in honor of this event and everyone participating in it 👀🫶

💚 Smoshblr December Wrapped 💚

#smoshblr december asks #I'm neither a super emotional or sentimental person irl #or at least not great at getting these thoughts & feelings across in a way that doesn't sound too clinical at times 🙈#so I hope y'all know how much I appreciate every single one of you wonderful ppl in this community 🫶

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justarandombrit · 2 months

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Well. Here you go, I guess. (To avoid the massive amount of preamble skip to "The return of lines from Spies Are Forever...")

Spies Are Forever is a 2016 spy-parody musical set in 1960s America. It's by the Tin Can Bros and is all professionally recorded on YouTube for free, so I recommend watching it before reading this, as I will be talking about the penultimate in-character song from this musical, which, despite being a parody, is very much also a serious spy story, with a lot of twists and turns.

It is probably my favourite musical of all time, so I'll give you an hour or so to watch it.

…

Back? Has your brain chemistry been fundamentally changed? Yeah, that happens.

Anyway, just in case you decided that you didn't care about spoilers, I'll give you a quick overview of the plot you need for this essay.

Agent Curt Mega has been retired from spying for four years, since his partner (Owen Carvour)’s death due to a mistake Curt made. He decides to get back into the field to fight the enigmatic Deadliest Man Alive and ridiculous Baron Von Nazi, and stop the construction of the “Nazi Super Castle”. Along the way, he works with Cynthia Houston, head of the American Secret Service, Barb Larvernor, scientist, Tatiana Slohzo, Russian spy and the Informant, informant.

Despite being a comedy first and foremost, a lot of the musical hinges on the villain’s plot, and that is important in this overview.

We are led to believe that Von Nazi is the “brains” behind the operation, so to speak (despite him having none himself), up until a confrontation where, after killing the prince of The New Democratic Republics of Old Socialist Prussian Sloviskia and convincing the country's government to sign off on the plans for the Super Castle, the DMA literally and figuratively stabs Von Nazi in the back.

This, like many of the DMA's actions throughout the show, seems completely unmotivated. The main characters question this, and, in a suspenseful, absolutely devastating moment that I cannot do justice through the medium of writing, the DMA is revealed to be Owen.

I could write pages and pages about this moment, about the foreshadowing leading up to it, about Curt's reaction, Tatiana's reaction, Joe Walker and (actor) Curt Mega’s acting, how it's Joey Richter (Owen’s actor) who says the line “Personal history does have its benefits, Mega”, that line itself! This scene keeps me up at night, but this essay isn't about that.

This essay is about the song directly following this scene.

As Owen predicts in his speech, Curt goes after him instead of the information warehouses created by Owen’s agency, Chimera. This song serves as a villain song for Owen, no longer disguised as the Deadliest Man Alive, and also a duet for Owen and Curt.

Although up until now I have been explaining the plot in order, a good chunk of this analysis requires the context of retrospect. So, again I implore you to watch it. It's only 8 minutes long and would really make my job easier. Act Two, Part Six.

https://youtu.be/yMBi9hp2QVQ?si=IUz42a_1DTMi4eNS

So. Curt and Owen were lovers. Even though that moment (along with Curt shooting Owen) had been spoiled for me before watching, I still gasped at that scene. Anyway, with the added context of what sort of “partners” they were, we can now move into the analysis.

I'm no music theorist, as evidenced by most of this essay being about the depth of the lyrics, not the music, but, as YouTube user ConsiderableColors pointed out in their video-essay “Motifs Of Remembrance In Spies Are Forever”, One Step Ahead does not have a single use of the common leitmotifs throughout the rest of the show, symbolising how Curt has moved on from mourning and feeling guilt over Owen, and accepted what he has to do.

(Sidenote; that video is incredibly good, and I'll be linking it at the end along with another SAF video-essay I love)

The return of lines from Spies Are Forever (song), specifically, “Who do you trust, who do you betray?”, really highlights TalkFine’s amazing lyric writing, recontextualising lines from the opening song, which clearly parodies the famously nonsensical Bond songs, because, as we all know:

Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a more significant way...

I hope somebody got that reference.

Anyway, one important aspect in the structure of One Step Ahead is, for the most part, Owen always sings his lines before Curt, reflecting how he is, a, literally ahead of Curt, as he is being chased throughout most of the song, and, b, was figuratively ahead of Curt for most of the show, knowing and predicting his every move.

Owen sings “One step ahead, that's how it's always been”, to make out that Curt is incompetent, as we see him do multiple times in the previous scene. Of course, at this point, the audience should realise that this is untrue, but it makes complete sense why Owen, the man who almost died because of a mistake Curt made, should think this.

In the next verse, Owen continues with the much softer, although arguably more hurtful to Curt, “One step ahead, I'm sorry my old friend / But I'm still here / After all those years when you thought I was dead / I was one step ahead”

When listening to the song for the first time, “old friend” may sound like a bittersweet term of endearment, but with the context of the true nature of Owen and Curt’s relationship, this can be read more as an insult, as Owen disregarding their relationship, and pretending nothing ever happened between them.

Curt, still reprising lines from Spies Are Forever, next sings “It's time to save the world again”, making no mention of beating Owen or “overthrow(ing) (...) an evil power” like the ensemble sings at the start of the song, because at this point, Curt still has hope for Owen. He still believes he can get Owen to leave Chimera and he can get the Owen he knew in the opening song back.

Owen quickly shoots down this idea with “Typical Curt / And pretend to be a hero again”, which both takes a shot at Curt’s saviour complex, but also all of the duo’s previous beliefs, which we know Owen now believes were not really the right thing to do. Thus, this line could also be read as Owen showing his disdain for both A.S.S and MI6, and, by proxy, who he used to be, and who Curt still is.

Curt retaliates, now giving up on reprising SAF and instead following the tune Owen sang, with “Typical jerk!”, showing that he's now somewhat accepted that he won't be able to easily get Owen back, and has fully joined in on the fight. (Also I don't know how to include this but, after this line in the live version of the song Joey (Owen) says “Ooh, sick burn” in the most sarcastic way you've ever heard and it's amazing)

He then asks “What happened to the man I knew?”, implying that he's realised that Owen is no longer “The man [he] knew”

Owen gives a snarky response in, “It's a little late for an interview”, further showing his hatred of the man he used to be, and refusing to defend himself and his beliefs, despite going on to do exactly that after this song.

“Feelin’ a lot of déjà vu again” This line is sung one inch away from each other’s faces… I'm just saying, they knew what they were doing.

We can see that all of the quipping in the previous lines got to Curt, as he sounds much angrier than at the start when he sings “It's time for you to feel the heat”

Of course, Owen retorts with the much calmer “Revenge is going to taste so sweet”, once again reminding Curt, and us, the viewers, of his motivation throughout this song. In this song, Owen doesn't attempt to hide or downplay how much his trauma from Curt leaving him to die, or his desire to get revenge influenced his actions, unlike later, in The Staircase Scene, where he seems to genuinely believe he is acting for the good of spies, and humanity as a whole.

In fact, pretty much the only time revenge seems to play a factor in his choices when he's monologuing in The Staircase Scene, is when he says “I'm going to single-handedly dismantle everything you've ever believed in”. This, along with how his voice breaks when he says that line, tells us that he may be being more honest about his true motivation during this song, and lying, to an extent, about it afterwards.

They both proceed to call each other platonic, and slightly condescending nicknames (e.g. pal, buddy), both to try and undermine each other, and also possibly because they're still rightfully cautious to admit that they were anything more than that, in a society that demonised and criminalised homosexuality, especially for government workers, like secret agents.

Afterwards, Curt tries to retroactively justify Owen’s betrayal to himself, as we see in “You played me from the start”. He tries to convince himself that the betrayal was inevitable, and that Owen had been lying since they met, unable to accept that Owen really had changed because of Curt’s own actions.

“Well look at you / Without a clue” Owen quickly refutes this, unwilling to let Curt believe he is completely innocent, by reinforcing that he really did love Curt once.

Instead of doubling down, Curt goes with what Owen said, attempting to appeal to his emotion with “You know you broke my heart”.

“Don't deny I was the better spy” This line breaks me. Genuinely, I've spent hours thinking about this line. Think about the implications. PROMISE ME YOU'LL THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS.

See, the reason I love this line so much is that Owen is right. Objectively speaking, Owen is the better spy. And not in the way that Cynthia thinks, and not in the way he implies throughout the show. Curt is not incompetent by any means, but he is reckless. Owen is not.

The only reason Owen even survived at the start of the musical was because he took the proper safety precautions to limit the blast of the (completely unneeded) bomb Curt set the timer purposefully too short for. It makes complete sense why Owen would think he's better at spying, however I don't believe that he does. Maybe to an extent. But not fully.

“Don't deny” shows he really wants validation via this statement. He wants Curt to admit that he's better. That what happened was Curt’s fault. Maybe Owen does believe he's the better spy, maybe he doesn't, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Curt believes he is.

(I had a lot more to say about that line than I thought…)

Instead of succumbing to Owen’s demand, Curt retorts, “I liked you better when you were dead”, which seems harsh, but utterly understandable. Owen’s betrayal hurt Curt so deeply, so intensely, that he preferred the years spent in mourning for his lover, quitting his job and drinking so much he hallucinated Owen’s ghost, because at least that Owen was the one he knew. The Owen that died a hero, rather than the one who lived long enough to become the monster.

Please forgive that cliché, but it seemed applicable.

After this, Owen reiterates “One step ahead / It's how it's always been”, but this time, Curt responds directly to Owen, with, “Can't let you win”. He's now outright saying that he and Owen are on opposite sides, rather than speaking vaguely about “saving the world”.

Owen, while still angry, again seems to be more interested in reminding Curt of his mistake and making him suffer emotionally. The “I'm still here” has an unspoken “Even though you weren't”.

Then, after Curt’s line, he goes back to the superiority idea, “And I'm better than you again”.

Interestingly, Curt doesn't attempt to appeal to Owen’s emotions again, or even insult him, instead just responding, “This is the end”. Either, at this point he has fully given up on reasoning with Owen, or, the earlier “You know you broke my heart” was a mistake, an accidental show of vulnerability Curt didn't mean.

My personal interpretation was that the line was a last-ditch effort from Curt, a sort of hail Mary to try and get Owen to see sense by alluding to their relationship. We see him do this later on in The Staircase Scene, by outright stating it, and it almost works. Almost.

Owen's line, “No one's innocent” shows a lot about his character. Even though he's trying to shift blame onto Curt, he still acknowledges wrong-doing. After all, he can't pin the over 1,000 people he killed as the Deadliest Man Alive on Curt, that was all him.

“My friend, you lost your mind” Here, Curt does the exact opposite of what he was doing before. Instead of making it out that Owen never loved him in the first place, e.g. “You played me from the start”, he disregards the reasons Owen joined Chimera, blaming it on Owen “going insane” or “losing his mind”.

As we've now come to expect, Owen immediately shuts this down, determined to make Curt feel the full gravity of what Owen sees as his original betrayal. When he says, “And you've been blind”, Owen is talking about how, in his opinion, Curt is blind to all the pain he caused, which we know is actually untrue, and we also know that Owen knows this, see “I spent as much time hating you as you did”. This, like so much in this song, is a way to guilt trip Curt, despite being an obvious lie.

This line could also be interpreted as Curt being blind to Chimera, and being so enamoured by spying and taking down governments that he is forgetting to notice (what Owen thinks is) the bigger picture.

“Now we're at the end” is pretty self-explanatory. This is the climax of the show, the point all of this has been leading up to.

The line “This is what you made me do” is sung by both Curt and Owen and has different connotations for each. Owen is once again referring to Curt abandoning him in the warehouse, causing him to join Chimera. Curt is talking about the fight itself, as he's tried to reason with Owen, but, after all of this, he's now at the end of his tether.

In the lines

“We're done”

“We're through!”

Owen sings first, symbolising how he moved on faster (well, visually, but I stick by the “Owen still had feelings for Curt until his real death” headcanon - I mean, he could've shot Curt at basically any point throughout The Staircase Scene, he chose not to). But Curt shouts louder, showing his anger about how Owen has acted after “coming back from the dead”. Also, this is their official breakup. Just think about that for a second.

These lines could also link back to the fact that this is the climax of the show, the writers are sort of telling you “This is it guys, we’re almost finished”.

The finality of the moment is emphasised by “I've nothing left to say to you”. They've both made their cases, neither was convinced, but they've said all that was needed.

After this, there's a direct homage to The Sound of Music,

“So long

Farewell

Auf Wiedersehen

Adieu

Goodbye”

…only in a minor key, taking the music from a romance and altering it slightly, depicting Curt and Owen’s own relationship. Furthermore, this is the goodbye hinted to in both Spies Are Forever and The Coldest Goodbye. This is the coldest goodbye. Why did I reread that in Eleanor Shellstrop’s voice

In conclusion, One Step Ahead is a song about truth, betrayal, tragedy and love. Curtwen is one of my top ten ships (and just character dynamics in general) of all time, and I hope this essay did them justice. Hopefully I didn't repeat myself too much? I love this song, show and characters so much that I got incredibly overexcited for massive parts of this.

I hope you at least got something out of reading this, and so one last toast. To honour-

Links:

ConsiderableColors’ essay: https://youtu.be/cS05pAQAFaY?si=16BHM3eU-gEUkxXE

Spies Are Forever: Decoded:

https://youtu.be/OYAbmbKoaqc?si=9EpZ1wYr_SMBPCP0

Ooh! New one!

How Spies Are Forever Defies Cliché With Parody

https://youtu.be/QhIwDhZKPvM?si=h6IFpKoFCHR0T-iK

(I can't believe this is also about Argylle lmaoooo)

#well enjoy this #this is the biggest analysis ive ever done... if it does well i might continue my grace chasity analysis...#or the one about starship's soundtrack #let me know if anybody would actually be interested in those #spies are forever #saf #tin can bros #tin can brothers #tcb #one step ahead #agent curt mega #owen carvour #tcb spies are forever #curtwen #tcb analysis

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chaisshitposts · 7 months

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What is your stronger side? I am very curius about psychk. I love this rabbit hole!

me rn bc you've induced some major brain vomit from me about this particular subject and I'm about infodump like a mf ^^^

aHHHH ME TOO!!! I'm hyperfixatin' on it 🕵️ I believe my stronger side is my right side, which presumably controls the left hemisphere of my brain aka the more logical side, which is BABIES because I'm a very creative, think outside of the triangle kinda person so I'd think I'm more of a right brainer. but it also kinda makes sense that I'm a lil' stronger in my right side since it's my dominant side and I do like to overanalyze & overthink things in a logical way (I need to change that belief as a matter of fact) 🤔 hoWevEr I have heard that it's important to use both sides of yer body to keep yer brain strong and lessens the chances of gettin' Alzheimer's and dementia (which I'm manifestin' a cure for both bc hell nah that shit is wack)

heads up, im about to ramble.

when I was readin' up on psych-k and the whole brain state, I stumbled across this new idea that's like 'brain gym' and I didn't think much of it until YESTERDAY when I was like... hm, are there other ways to make both sides of the brain work simultaneously while I'm awake??? cause psych-k is workin' for me and all but I'm sure there are other ways to communicate with both sides of my brain simultaneously to make affirmations stick in a much more efficient manner. when ya have both sides of yer brain workin' in harmony while affirmin' ya get like this deeper level of saturatin' yer mind aNd I wanted more of that bc it gives my brain the t i n g l e s. should also be mentioned that workin' yer entire brain is also a form of what can be referred to as 'super learnin' isn't that fuckin' gnarly??? i think it is. lIke could ya imagine that with this information now ya could literally just sit down and study somethin' with the utmost efficiency and whole brain thinkin' just by crossin' your damn ankles???????? wish I knew this shit when I was still in school--- wait nvm I'm still doin' classes.

there's this weird lil' exercise which is BASICALLY psych-k but ya stand up and do actual movements (super weird but also kinda fun for my monkey brain) iTs cALlEd the cross-crawl and there's a whole bunch of benefits for it (imma copy paste them below) this is all from this website I tried it for a few seconds yesterday and it was weird and cringey so I stopped but imma try it out again today for science 🧍

• Build your core strength

• Release stress and tension

• Enhance whole-brain thinking (get your left and right hemispheres to work together)

• Calm your mind

• Energize your body

it's pretty much a lil' funny dance where ya march side to side— its an actual exercise so y'know

ANYWAYS, it should be known that I am an avid method hopper because all methods work for me and I can do anything I want and it still works, sO I was thinkin' of a crazy ass combination of methods that involves psych-k, cross-crawling, and reverse psychology from @/charmedreincarnation which they described in detail in this post

this sounds insane and all over the place, I know, but I can't help it its because of how my brain chemistry works 😭 im like a mad scientist with manifestation methods at this point

BUT BUT BUT BEFORE I FORGET!!! THERES ANOTHER EXERCISE THAT STIMULATES BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN AND INVOLVES ONLY YER HANDS. This bad boy right here

also... why did I find another brain synchronization exercise video... I need to slow my road. but here it is anyways

I had no idea Tai Chi was a form of brain synchronization exercise holy shit???? but ig that makes sense since it is a state of meditation

i could have infodumped WAY more but I forgot most of the other things I wanted to say... 🤡 TY FOR ASKIN' THIS QUESTION!!! ask me more questions if ya want me to info dump again, I'll try to keep my thoughts organized

#— chai's asks. !! ~#— anonnie. !! ~#ty for askin' anon bc now i have to write all of this down like a maniac #— chai rambles. !!~#my autism is showing #brb about to go wax on and wax off while affirming 😭#AYO JACKIE CHAN WAS ONTO SOMETHIN' IN KARATE KID???#should i make a post about brain exercises

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ghostherlig · 1 month

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in case anyone here missed it, one shot's abt johnshi^2 are gonna be dropping from time to time!! more of them bc they literally have changed my brain chemistry fr 😭

i will still be updating You're Ours Now!! that will be taka's full integration into the polycule and then from there on out i think i'll be taking a break from longer fics for a bit LMAO- or, at least, changing how i write and upload things 🫡

anyway, please enjoy!!

#ghost's ouija board #johnshi^2 #johnny cage #kenshi takahashi #johnshi #mk1 #mk11 #my fic

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ddarker-dreams · 10 months

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Lock, I'm very interested in reading your Chrollo fics but I know nothing about him or hxh... Is there anything I should know about him or the universe before diving in?

honestly ?? i'd just dive headfirst into hxh. i prefer the 2011 version and would suggest watching that one. what i'll say about hxh is that it's my favorite story of all time, across any book, movie, tv show, video game, or whatever; hxh reigns on the throne of my heart. it changed my brain chemistry. i literally cannot recommend it enough. there's no further reading i can think of. checking it out without being subjected to any spoilers seems like the best method to me.

#DAICHI O FUMISHIMETEEEE #KIMI WA MEZAMETE YUKUUUUUUUUUUU #answered #scaranya

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khaleesiofalicante · 1 year

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Chemistry Test - Unnecessary IALS Angst

He underlined the subtopic he had just scribbled on his notebook and grabbed the giant textbook.

He was almost done with his studying for the day. He just needed to finish this last bit on Game Theory for his economics lecture from earlier this week.

He looked at the small clock on his study table, right next to a few framed photos of his family.

And his Bella.

12 minutes more.

He forced himself to look back at the book. He read and reread the passage. Once. Twice. Thrice.

He looked at the clock again.

7 minutes more.

He exhaled tightly and brought the book closer to himself, as if that would somehow help him concentrate better.

4 more minutes.

He highlighted the passage in a harsh green and demanded his brain to focus.

But his eyes went back to the clock.

It was fine.

It should be online now.

The interview.

He took a deep breath and looked back at the book. He started to write his notes on Game Theory.

He was two sentences in when he slammed the notebook shut and threw the textbook to a corner. He grabbed his laptop and climbed into the small bed in his dormitory.

He didn’t bother locking the door.

His roommate had gone out on a date with his new girlfriend, the boy’s football jersey thrown carelessly over the little computer chair in the corner of their shared room.

His own jersey was in the bathroom. He had washed it last night so he can wear it later today.

Kincaid went on YouTube and searched for the interview.

It was supposed to be up now.

He knew it.

He hated that he knew it.

“Do you think for the next season we could do a puppy interview?” Arthur asked.

“If they bring out the puppies, you won’t do the interview,” the dark-haired boy chuckled.

“See? You know me so well,” Arthur grinned and held up a hand. “We got this.”

“Bring it on, BuzzFeed!” the other boy winked and high-fived Arthur.

The Buzzfeed logo popped up and then the title said, ‘Chemistry Test with Noah and AJ’.

Kincaid sighed softly as he paused the video.

He wasn’t ready for this.

He wasn’t ready to see him.

He never has been.

Looking at Arthur had never been easy for him.

It’s been difficult. His instinct had always been to look away.

The way one does when they look at the sun.

But Kincaid had always stared right into the sun, knowing it could burn him whole.

He stared at the sun until he couldn’t.

Until he had decided his life was destined to be an eternal solar eclipse.

He had said goodbye to the sun.

And so, the sun had found a star.

Quite literally.

Christ.

Thinking of Arthur always turned him so bloody maudlin.

He sighed inwardly and pressed play.

“Hey guys,” Noah – the dark-haired boy waved at the camera. “This is Noah Schnapp.”

“And this is Arthur Jackson,” his ex-boyfriend smiled. “We’re doing the chemistry test with Buzzfeed.”

“Arthur,” Noah cleared his throat dramatically, holding onto a card with questions. “What is my favorite place in Camp Half-Blood?”

“The dining pavilion!” Arthur said cheerfully. “Because it’s where all the food is.”

“Nothing can be roasted marshmallow night,” the boy winked at the camera.

He was pretty.

Dark hair. Dark eyes.

Tall and lean and handsome.

He reminded Kincaid a lot of Lance – if Lance had a personality and remembered how to smile every now and then.

He couldn’t understand what Arthur saw in him.

He didn’t think someone like Noah would be Arthur’s type. But then again, what did he know anyway?

Maybe Noah made Arthur happy.

Arthur never asked for much. He never pushed.

All he wanted was to be with Kincaid.

Kincaid hadn’t been able to make Arthur happy. So, yes. What did he know anyway?

“Okay,” Arthur said and waved his card. “Who is my favorite Percy Jackson character?”

“Percy Jackson,” Kincaid smiled.

“Percy,” Noah chuckled. “That one was so easy.”

“We have the same name!” Arthur said dreamily. “And he is the best ever.”

Kincaid didn’t know why Arthur changed his last name when he started to act. He didn’t understand these things.

He had always preferred the name Lightwood-Bane. It reminded him that there were other people like him.

People who didn’t give up the fight. People who kept fighting and people won.

People who were connected not just by name, but by everything.

Because they fought.

“What’s my ideal date night?” Noah asked.

Arthur blushed softly. “Should I actually say it?”

Kincaid clutched the blanket tightly.

They knew they were dating.

The whole world knew it. The whole world loved it.

Kincaid pushed away the tightness in his chest.

He shouldn’t be feeling this way.

This was exactly what Arthur wanted.

For his love to be seen. For his love to be acknowledged.

Kincaid couldn’t give him that. He shouldn’t be mad that someone else could.

That wasn’t fair.

“He likes to stay at home and watch chick flicks,” Arthur giggled. “And pizza is mandatory.”

“It is,” Noah confirmed. “Your turn.”

“Okay,” Arthur smiled. “This is an easy one. What’s my favorite colour?”

Noah chuckled. “It’s purple.”

Kincaid rolled his eyes. “It’s Lavender.”

“Close,” Arthur shook his head. “It’s actually Lavender if we’re being specific.”

The questions went on and on. The boys answered one by one – all laughs and giggles and smiles.

Kincaid always answered before Noah did.

And he was always right.

He tried to take pleasure in it. He tried to take pride in it.

But what was the point?

“What’s one thing I don’t like about you?” Noah asked.

“You have things you don’t like about me?” Arthur pouted.

“Everyone does, Art,” the boy chuckled.

“Not everyone,” Kincaid mumbled.

“Okay,” Arthur hummed. “Is it the way I ask too many questions at once? My brother hates that.”

“I like it when you get excited and ask a lot of questions,” Noah said fondly, and Kincaid wanted to push him off a cliff or something. “It’s actually when you say things in French when you know I don’t understand that shit.”

“Ah,” Arthur said. “Je suis désolé. Je ne le ferai plus.”

Kincaid shook his head. “J'aime quand tu parles en français.”

“Stooop,” Noah groaned. “You’re the worst.”

“You love me,” Arthur stuck out his tongue and then blushed furiously.

“Tis true,” Noah said, winking at the camera.

Kincaid paused the video.

He took a shuddery breath, almost closing his laptop.

Don’t.

Don’t beat yourself about it.

It was for the best.

You could never give him this.

You could never tell the world how much you love him.

Don’t cry.

Don’t grieve something you were never meant to have in the first place.

He pressed play again.

“Oh, this is a good one,” Arthur said. “What’s my favorite song from Midnights?”

Kincaid opened his mouth to answer.

But he realized he didn’t actually know the answer.

He thought he was better than Noah.

But he really wasn’t.

He thought he knew Arthur better than everyone.

But he really didn’t.

“Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye! You were bigger than the whole sky!” Noah sang loudly, making Arthur giggle and hide his face behind his pretty green sweater that said ‘protect trans kids’.

Kincaid bit his lip.

He didn’t know this.

There were many things he didn’t know.

Because he was no longer part of Arthur’s life.

He will just like everyone else on the internet, collecting whatever crumbs he could get through the interviews and Arthur’s social media.

He will only know Arthur in the past tense. The boy he used to be.

He will never know the man Arthur will become.

“Oh, this one is tough,” Arthur chuckled. “Who is my favorite Lightwood-Bane?”

Kincaid smiled. “Lance.”

“Oh. That’s actually tough. I’m gonna say your dad,” Noah chuckled nervously. “Because I know he will see this and then ask me why didn’t pick him.”

Kincaid sighed.

Noah has met Arthur’s family.

He was already invited to weekend dinner. Kincaid knew because Noah would always post them on his instagram, always saying how much he loved Arthur’s papa’s cooking.

Kincaid also knew the cooking was amazing. Back in Idris, Arthur would always share whatever he brought for breakfast.

Kincaid loved the food. But he had never been able to tell Arthur’s papa that.

He certainly couldn’t put it on Instagram.

“Okay. Okay,” Noah laughed when Arthur made an inside joke Kincaid didn’t understand. They had inside jokes. Probably pet names too. “Who is my favorite Avenger?”

“Black Widow!” Arthur yelled.

“That’s correct!” Noah yelled back.

“Oh my god, we should dress up as Avengers for Halloween,” Arthur gasped suddenly.

“Or,” Noah grinned. “We could go as the Justice League.”

Arthur hummed. “You know what? Yes. We might even get my brother to agree to that.”

Noah knew Lance too.

Lance liked Noah. Lance did not like Kincaid.

They even used to get into fights.

Lance would probably be very happy to know that Arthur and Kincaid would never be together ever.

“Mate,” someone said. “You still not ready?”

Kincaid looked up from his laptop and looked at the clock. “Oh. Yes. I’ll be right down. Has the practice already started?”

“Not till you get there, captain,” his roommate chuckled.

Kincaid managed a smile and put the laptop away.

“What are you watching?” the boy looked at his screen. “Ah. They’re the ones from that Disney show, right? The one about warlocks?”

“Demigods,” Kincaid corrected automatically. “Erm. My little cousins like it.”

“You let children watch that show?” his roommate frowned.

Kincaid bit his lip. “Well, I don’t do it but-”

“I get it,” the boy chuckled softly. “My little sister is obsessed with it too. She loves these two. Something about her OTP. Whatever the hell that means.”

They were everyone’s OTP.

Kincaid knew what he would see if he scrolled down to the comment section.

Of course there will be some homophobia. But mostly it was just heart emojis and comments like ‘best couple ever’ and ‘I want what they have’ and ‘this is soulmate material’ and other things Kincaid didn’t really want to look at.

“I’ll see you downstairs,” his roommate grinned and grabbed his jersey as he walked out of the room.

Kincaid got out of bed and got dressed. He came out of the bathroom in his football uniform and cleaned up his study desk.

He grabbed the laptop.

He stared at Arthur’s face.

He looked away.

He looked back.

He pressed play.

“Last question,” Arthur said. “If I could turn into an animal, what would I choose?”

“Yikes,” Noah chuckled. “I don’t even know.”

Kincaid didn’t know either. He thought about it.

A cat.

Yes.

Probably a cat.

A baby goat.

No.

A panda.

It was impossible to choose. Arthur loved too many animals.

“I’m gonna say snake,” Noah grinned. “Then you can play with Merlin.”

“I don’t need to be a snake to play with Merlin. Our friendship transcends biology,” Arthur said playfully.

“Okay,” Noah chuckled. “Then what animal would you turn into?”

“A horse.”

“A horse?”

“Yeah.”

“Why a horse?” Noah laughed.

“I just like them,” Arthur said softly. “If I’m a horse then I can spend time with…other horses.”

Noah chuckled and shook his head.

Kincaid stopped the video and closed his laptop.

He put it away on his study desk.

Right next to the picture of Bella, the horse he trained with in Idris.

#aight imma go take a bath byeeee #IALS #it's a love story not a rom-com

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moonjxsung · 3 months

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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8nVhFB4/

I have so many things to say about this video so I will list them 🫡

1- the damn intro clip with him in that outfit, the damn jaist in full show. His hair I can’t

2- the hair stylist style his hair so good I want to tug on it

3- THE STYLIST NEED A RAISE FOR THE OUTFITS THEY PUT HIM IN ITS DRIVING ME NUTS I CANT

4- his confidents when dancing makes me wanna throat him deep

5- if he can’t keep that tongue in his mouth then he better put it in me 🙄

Anyways hope you enjoy wifey 🧡

- 🧡anon

THE FUCICUCJFJFKFMDKKFJGKFMFJFKTNRKFIEKMRNFKFDMNFKFFMNFKRMFJFKFMMFKFKFMFMF ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ I saw the title of the video and SAID OUT LOUD “SILENT CRY”. THAT ONE MAKES ME GO INSANE….. THE BICEPS…. THE SWAY OF HIS HIPS….. also he OWNS THAT LALALALA HIP THRUST I DONT MAKE THE RULES HE LITERALLY PUTS HIS ENTIRE HANJUSSY INTO THAT MOVE…. I’m so obsessed with that cocky little expression he has on his face while he dances but also simultaneously the smirk and the little LIP BITE THING….. I need to deep throat him until I am crying actually. Thank you for sharing this my brain chemistry feels changed

#🧡 anon #ask

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finexbright · 11 months

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now that the post concert depression is setting, i'm just gonna put a recap of both coventry nights here

- i saw him for the first time ever one year ago and i fully was not prepared for just how amazing it would be. i'm still surprised how we showed up five minutes before wet leg went on and still got so close to the stage. i love front pit at small cap venues so much

- wet leg were SUCH a good opening act and the lead singer's vocal range is frankly insane. there's a long haired man who plays the guitar/bass and i am obsessed with him and his energy

- harry's set intro and the quote about how there's a personal who's the most sensational to the point where they could be a hallucination and then opening with daydreaming? insane. so many thoughts

- he is so good with his stage presence and how he engages with literally every single part of the venue. there's honestly no bad seats (there's some seats on the side where you literally see him only through the screen or when he's walking onto the b stage but during some songs he walks all the towards those seats and interacts with people)

- his voice is honestly incredible and it just keeps improving. my experience of listening to some songs last year vs this year is drastically different

- he is extremely charming and i truly love how you put him in the uk for two days and you can hear his northern accent bleeding out so quickly. when he's mocking fans he fully sounds like a grandma, love that for him

- he is soooo self aware and smug and cocky and that's on him being an aquarius. you can just see how much he loves performing and how easy and naturally it comes to him

- i think i've noticed a pattern and it's that since he's mostly performing two nights at every venue, one night he'll wear the bodysuit shirt + leather pants combo and the next night he'll show up in satin sequin pants and open jacket combo. and that on at least one of those nights he's gonna perform medicine

- i was looking back at my videos and i'm pretty sure he smiled at my sign and i'll forever hold onto that 🥹

- i was obsessed with the way he kept saying "coventry, coventry, coventry" this man went into the middle of nowhere and made it feel like home

- i'm so sorry to inform but no one is actually prepared for the combination that is fine line and sign of the times back to back. it will ruin you permanently and alter your brain chemistry. i thought that i'd be at least fine on the second night and i managed to not cry up until the point he hit us with that beautiful note change in the final "we'll be alright" and because he's chaotic, he sang sott and followed it with medicine and now i'm simply wrecked forever

- most important of all : he is a baby girl and so so squishable i just wanted to kiss his tummy and blow raspberries on it 🥹

- also important is that he is a whore and a proud one and the way he moves around with the knowledge and whorish tendancies is truly insane and he fully gets off on knowing that he's causing distress

done with 2/6 shows and i'm so, so excited for the wembley shows because i know they'll be magical and ethereal and i have a feeling he's gonna bring the fireworks back, but this time for fine line as well

#my show : coventry night one #my show : coventry night two

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theliterarywolf · 6 months

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Fennah is a GUY? Every time I saw him on your blog I thought he's a she, and now I got a video of his recommended talking about idiots trying to protect AI art, and like... damn.

Oh yeah, Sam Fennah's a guy. I did recently find out that his creative output is a bit of a collaborative effort between him and his wife (him doing the writing and character concept-art/animations, his wife handling promo art and the storybook art used in his book)

You can hear his voice in that book promo for Amygdala.

And, yeah, it was interesting to see that he agreed to that debate with Shadiversity about AI Art because Fennah, for all I love his work and his overall personality... Is a bit sour at times.

Like one of the main things I will always be like 'My guy, shut the hell up' with him was when the "Queen Bee" episode of HB came out and every other indie creator online was calling themselves 'dunking' on Viv because of Bee-Elzebub's design. He really had to call himself chiming in with 'oh, if you want a design that actually looks like an insect, I'm just going to drop one of the characters from my book here. No reason for it, just showing off'

But I can still appreciate one of the main parts of his argument in the debate: that is how people need to stop leaning on the 'art is supposed to be hard and laborious' type of anti-AI argument and focus more on the 'it's literally fucking theft' and 'whatever you're insisting AI can do better, you can excel beyond if you just commit to it' arguments.

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potential-fate · 4 months

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Get to know you- Sims Style

I was tagged by @simbury

What’s your favorite Sims death? -- I find it incredibly entertaining that sims can spontaneously combust if they get too warm.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? -- mix, but ig it leans towards realism nowadays.

Do you cheat your sims weight? -- not that I can think of. sometimes if I am shooting a specific scene and they weren't that shape at the time. but not during gameplay.

Do you move objects? -- absolutely. I'm incapable of decorating without moveobjects on honestly.

Favorite Mod? -- uhm... I guess the 3t2 traits project or ACR/Romantic Standards.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack? -- I have been playing ts2 since it literally came out, so my first ep was whichever one came out first. I think that was Uni? but in spirit of the question, for sims 4 I only bothered downloading the game when they came out with cottage living lol.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing? -- aLIVE. my brain always said essentially like a movie set "and we're live!" so.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? -- Evren Thorne (who you're more likely to see in @luverofralts or @nappe-plays-the-sims game than mine) because he's not story relevant yet, or (much to everyone's chagrin) Callum

Have you made a simself? -- at some point far in the past, yes. I do not have that sim anymore, and I probably wouldn't do it again, but yk. I was also 11 when I started playing this game, so of course I made a digital barbie of myself. (not to say it's childish to do in and of itself, but that it's definitely something that every child tends to do)

Which is your favorite EA hair color? -- since ts2 only has 4, I'm going to assume this was more ts4 centric. in which case I like the neutral blonde/light blonde colors (the two that are less yellow)

Favorite EA hair? -- eh. for ts2 I wouldn't use any of them. for ts4... the mullet thing from werewolves? ig.

Favorite life stage? -- teens or young adults. (I think I may be the only person I know how actively likes Uni for ts2 the most lmao)

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? -- oh. both. depends on my mood.

Are you a CC creator? -- yeeeup. recreationally though. (read: with no real consistency.)

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad? -- I feel like I do lmao. I at least hope they feel the same LOL.

Do you have any sims merch? -- I now have a gameplay guide for the original Sims game lol. but I think that's all I own.

Do you have a YouTube for sims? -- nope. I uh... don't like watching gameplay videos, and sims machinema is way too time consuming to make so I do not.

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing? -- oh gosh. I was one of those edgy emo kids so it was a lot of grunge and dyed hair and bright makeup. I've honestly been leaning a bit more towards that style again though so....

Who’s your favorite CC creator? -- depends on what I'm looking for. tbh a LOT of the CC I have now is older stuff that I just still like. but anyone who isn't exclusively making 4t2 stuff is probably someone I've downloaded from.

How long have you had Simblr? -- technically this blog since January 1st 2020. that being said, I moved from LJ to simblr in like.... idk, 2012? whenever that great migration happened.

How do you edit your pictures? -- a lot of photoshop. color correction, a slight film grain at the very least. most times I also do aesthetic edits to hide clipping, and add painted hair strands nowadays. if I can't get an emotion right for a screenshot, I edit those too.

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite? -- for ts2 I really don't think I could pick one. the problem is I use like 90% of them for SOMETHING gameplay wise, even if I don't use the main function. ie: I love the chemistry/attraction from nightlife, even though the whole downtown thing is frankly annoying sometimes (do YOU WANT TO GO DOWNTOWN? no, random townie I do not. ) But, seeing as I listed it earlier, I guess university.

Tagging uhm.... @rebouks, @pralinesims, @luverofralts, and @nappe-plays-the-sims

#my posts #tag game

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