#that. that is insane.

[genacity]

Hi there 🫢

So I just had to write a letter… and I had to put it in an envelope (obvi) and it was one of those envelopes that you have to lick to seal.

Now imagine Scaramouche being ur roommate, and he sees you lick the envelope and his thoughts run WILD

I had to share this cuz idk 💪

🎐anon

nsfw / suggestive scaramouche & the envelope; ANON THIS IS CRAZY WHY ARE YOU SO SMART

i am literally shaking. your last request was so good but this one takes it all 💯 HOW DO YOU THINK OF THESE THINGS

i was thinking of making this an entire fic by itself but i have other drafts i need to clear so you get whatever the hell this may be sorry 😰

you and scaramouche had been roommates for a few months now. he wasn’t the sweetest person in the world; but he payed his share of the bills, had a stable job, and had contributed to the house enough to be able to label him as a decent roommate.

the both of you never seemed to bother each other very often unless it was about the house. maybe the occasional “good morning” or “see you later”, but other than casualties, you never seemed to speak much.

maybe that was why you didn’t expect today to be so different than the rest. today, you had to head down to the post office to send a thank you letter to one of your family members. you had just graduated college recently and since they had send flowers and some money to “treat yourself” (you knew it would just go towards taxes anyways), you concluded that it would be basic courtesy to send a card back at the least.

you stood over the kitchen counter writing out the last of your letter to your extended family. your wrist ached with fatigue as you signed your name next to the love at the bottom of the card and put the pen aside, reaching over to the envelope you had put next to you.

scaramouche walked into the kitchen past you to slide a mug under and press a few buttons on the coffee maker. “what are you doing?” he had asked, the buzzing of the machine behind him making you lick your teeth to hold back the outward cringe. ‘that coffee maker must be old,’ you thought. ‘we should buy a new one soon.’

“just writing a letter.” you said flatly, picking up the envelope and turning to face scaramouche to engage in small talk.

scaramouche raised his eyebrows. “to who?” he inquired. you blinked and looked around for a moment; never had he held a conversation out with you for this long. this was definitely a first. “just some family that came to my graduation.” you murmured, lips occupied as you brought the envelope in your hands to your tongue to lick the seal.

you stuck your tongue out to glide it across the sticky part at the top, the taste of plastic lingering as you wet the seal. your eyes were too focused on the envelope to assure you didn’t cut your tongue (it’s happened before) that you didn’t notice the growing expression on your roommate’s face.

scaramouche’s eyes widened at the sight of your long tongue extending from your lips, carefully licking the adhesive and sealing the letter shut. his lips parted slightly, chest heaving with heavy breaths as his grip against the counter behind him hardened.

he could only stare, frozen in place as you finished the letter off with your stamps of choice and signing the address on the front. you said something to him, but he couldn’t hear you; the only thought in his mind your tongue and what it could do to him.

wait— what? what the hell was he thinking? you were his roommate; just some lowlife he shared an apartment with. but as much as he bashed himself internally, the image of you bending him over this counter right now, using that careful tongue of yours to please him was all he could see. vision foggy as his lips pressed themselves into a line, the sound of the coffee machine behind beeping snapped him out of his thoughts.

“scaramouche, hello? have you seen my—” “no!” he snapped, snatching the mug from the machine and rushing off to his room. your eyes trailed him confusedly. what was wrong with him? matter of fact, what was wrong with you?

you watched him rush away, eyes falling to the evident bulge in his pants before he slammed the door of his bedroom.

#@ genacity ☆ #@ 🎐 anon ☆ #@ scaramouche ☆ #sub scaramouche #sub wanderer #sub kunikuzushi #dom reader #sub character #sub character smut #sub genshin #that. that is insane. #🎐 anon is WILDING in my inbox right now

[jvhdb]

turned off reblogs bc im sick of you people

#insane about this

[qrowpilled]

hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month

#shush jesse #this post abt astarion #hes just so painfully on brand for me #i know so little about him though is the thing but i still feel insane #but i cant play the game and i dont want to watch anyone play it and i dont want spoilers #so like.....secondhand blorbo right now

[blairwitchapologist]

has anyone else been seeing the tweets about a lotion from sephora that attracts spiders

#i got all of these screenshots from twitter #it’s fucking insane #it’s like a $43 lotion

[riacte]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

#'your moon is here' things that make me explode like a supernova #UGHHHHHHH what if i was perpetually in your orbit. influencing the tides. protecting you from asteroids. and slowly drifting further away. #then you stopped moving and i was only pulse to your dead heart. orbiting you. right where ive been left. and so you started turning again. #ria.txt #personal #space opera au #(<- not about what you think is about) #hiiii this is gaining traction so glad we're all going insane :D your moon is here is SO fucked up. so good. #xkcd #randall munroe #space #moon #anyways xkcd comics are so good. entertaining witty and informative. check em out!

[hiddenramen]

one of my greatest pet peeves in fiction, and it is truly stupid I know, is that no one seems to understand how genuinely hard it is to kill someone via stabbing. stab wounds have a mortality rate of like 5%. especially abdominal stabbing. tv shows and movies show dudes getting stabbed one time in the lower abdomen with a tiny knife and then they fall over. like what did he die of precisely. that man died of Small Knife

#drives me insane! #p

[surprisearson]

Favorite bit of adventurers bible lore is that Marcille was a researcher developing new healing magic before she joined the party but then learned all the offensive spells we see her use in a single day. Insane behavior. Imagine knowing the top med student in the country and one day she drops out of her cancer research program and perfects the art of making pipe bombs in 24 hours.

#the party canonically doesnt care but it would be funny to see other characters reactions #shes a genius shes insane she stopped her magical studies to hang out with her childhood crush #marcille donato #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi spoilers

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

do i ship these characters or do i want them to form a sketch comedy duo

#sometimes 'i ship it' just means 'their Yes And game is insane and i wanna see more'

[risuwu]

i put every bone back in place for you

#insanely intimate if u ask me #falin #marcille #is it facille or farcille #dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dumbass draws

[shinseifer]

"average cat owner spends 3 years in prison" factoid actualy just statistical error. average owner spends 0 years in prison. Miette's mother, who kicked her body like the football and went to jail for One Thousand Years is an outlier adn should not have been counted

#miette #spiders georg #tumblrstuff #meme #1k #One Thousand Notes #oh! oh! #I swear I can math in real life #10k #tumblr is insane #is this post making the miette tag trend #20k #I know there are more than 333 cat owners #It was a small sample size #40k #50k #75k #100k

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.

But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.

And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.

And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.

#you have to consider the fact that she has no reason to doubt or question the Creche as the easy fix for her problems. #Go there. Get Purified. Done. #and she even wants to make sure that this lot gets treated too. Honestly she is so good to them by Gith standards it's insane #baldur's gate 3 #lae'zel

[approximateknowledge]

ok so hear me out

#ak goes insane #is this anything? #discworld #lotr #star trek #star wars #hiv3stuck

[catmask]

when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people

the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to

#just kidding the third option is i drive myself insane #trying to find a way to write someone like me in a way i may be respected as a human being #without shaving away the more frightening aspects of my experience or life #challenge level . impossible. i will die. or they will make youtube 3 hour long rant videos about it someday #scratchpost #txt

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

god i love my friends. shout out to people who love their friends. this is a post for friend lovers

#sorry i thought too hard about everything and got weirdly emotional like hgoly shit #i talk to people here every day and we know stuff about each other and shit and we exchange ideas and waaa #we're like all basically penpals but better #im realizing how revolutionary this is. like had we all been born earlier we never would have met #and even if we did we'd have to talk through letters with weeks if not months in between responses #can you imagine that #every day instead i literally wake up and my friends are there #insane #i love having friends

[a1sart]

if there's one thing this last episode has affirmed for me about Alastor it's that he FUCKING HATES being reminded that he's not the most powerful creature in hell.

Like, he hates being ignored by Carmilla when she says she doesn't care why he was gone

He hates Lucifer ON SIGHT

He threatens to KILL Husk when he dares to mention that Alastor is working for someone more powerful than him

and now this.

Alastor freaking out because he almost died. Something almost killed him. He can fucking die. There is something more powerful than him out there. And it's not something he can ignore or brush off because it almost killed him.

Alastor hates the reminder that he's not as powerful as he tells people he is. He isn't indestructible, he isn't invincible. And he fucking hates that.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #al talks about things #OUUGH HE'S MAKIN ME INSANE #he isn't blorbo yet #but he could be #anyway I've seen people say that he's freaking out because he's realizing he maybe does care #No???? that's not it??? #He's scared because he just got the shit beat out of him by an angel??? #He got reminded that there are things out there that are more powerful than him? #that's why he immediately jumps to trying to figure out a way out of his deal #because he wants to get out from under whoever is more powerful than him!!! #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor

[sniperct]

If true we HAVE to make this the biggest flop in gaming history, as in 'destroys the company' levels of gaming flop as in a 'lesson must be taught' gaming flop, as in 'E.T. destroyed atari' gaming flop

#gta 6 #grand theft auto #video games #I totally get like #a $10 price increase every decade or so to keep up with inflation #I don't like it but I get it #but effectively doubling the current price is insane #we can't let that be normalized