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paper-land · 1 year

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Just a note: this post started as a discussion of and is going to spend a decent amount of time discussing Yannick Mirko’s firing and replacement in Ride the Cyclone, but I realized I wanted to address my experience with ablism in theatre in general. I can’t force anyone to read this, but if you have the time and you care about representation in theatre, I’d to ask you to try and hear what I have to say

TLDR: Yannick Mirko's speaking out is bringing more attention to ableism in theatre, I added some examples I've seen to emphasize that ableism in the theatre world is really common

Literally I take a break from writing my papers for finals for like 10 minutes and I find out that Arena Stage cast Yannick Mirko’s able-bodied understudy to play Ricky in their production of RtC.

For anyone not caught up, Yannick Mirko is the first disabled person to play Ricky Potts, a canonically disabled character, in the musical Ride The Cyclone. He was unjustly fired from the production he was in (the McCarter atheater) because of their disability. They had one medical emergency and was told that his disability was too unpredictable that he would be replaced by his understudy, who is not disabled.

Now, onto the Arena Stage production. Three of the seven cast members played the roles they are in now in the McCarter Theater production (Jane Doe, Mischa Bachinski, and Noel Gruber). Two are playing their original role from a different production (Constance Blackwood, Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg). One appears to be playing their role for the first time, though I could be wrong on this (The Amazing Karnak). The only cast member of the Arena Stage production who, as far as I can tell, was an understudy for their first production is their Ricky Potts. Ricky is being played by the able bodied understudy who took over the role when Yannick Mirko was fired from the McCarter Theater production. He was also reportedly referred to by his disability aids during the rehearsal process, rather than his name.

This is genuinely disgusting. Theatre is already so discriminatory to disabled people and the McCarter Theater and Arena Stage productions have so far only proved that they can get away with it. Admittedly, I have minimal social media presence so there could be conversations I haven’t seen, but I have seen a maximum of 5 people talk about this.

It’s very much worth noting that most productions I have been in or seen we’re willing to bend over backwards to make sure an able bodied actor could stay onstage. I’ve been in five shows where an understudy was sent out. Three because the actors had Covid and two because the actor was in the hospital and would not be discharged until after the show was over. This may sound like a lot of productions with understudies, but I’ve been in theatre for 11 years. I’ve been in 30 shows. Five shows, especially mid-pandemic, is nothing. I have been in shows where directors have done everything in their power to keep an able bodied actor in a lead role (including many cases of severe illnesses and one with a concussion and staples in his head). I’ve seen an actress onstage while she had broken ribs. I’ve seen a friend perform after slicing her leg and spraining her ankle. Ive seen a different friend come to a three hour rehearsal after spending the morning vomiting. Two different people I know have performed with dislocated joints. I’ve been onstage when I was so sick I couldn’t breathe or speak. I’ve been onstage when my glasses broke and I couldn’t see as far as the people around me. Most actors I know who have left productions only left because they could not physically return or because they were fired for actually valid reasons (skipped nearly half of the rehearsals so they could go on vacation without informing the director).

If these were fine, if I’ve been praised and seen actors praised for doing this, why was Yannick Mirko fired for one medical emergency? Easy answer: Ableism.

One less-than shocking part for me was realizing that I’ve worked with one of the people who was involved in the McCarter production for an awards show. I watched her work with disabled performers in one of the other acts. And, mind you, by “work with,” I mean that she told them their spots and expected them to know where to go. She was absolutely lovely to everyone else (especially leads but I don’t want to get into the treatment of ensemble actors right now, that’ll probably be a different post one day).

I also want to discuss my experiences with ablism in theatre, as someone who has witnessed it and, very recently, started experiencing it (to, admittedly, a significantly lesser degree than many).

The first show I was in with a disabled actor, I was 14. My friend was made to climb multiple set pieces despite her leg not being fully functional. She’d been in a wheelchair for several months at school that year. I didn’t fully realize something was wrong until she started complaining about minor pain to me. She never wanted anyone to go to the director and she never went on her own.

My next is when I was 15. I didn’t realize what was really happening for many years. He had missed several rehearsals with no word to our directors and was made to leave the show. This sounds normal enough, I mentioned someone else who was forced to do the same earlier on. This would be normal if the director hadn’t checked in on and allowed able bodied actors who had done the same thing back into the show. I figured at that point in my life that he’d just missed more shows or assumed that he’d come to the mutual agreement to leave. I don’t have answers, but I’ve started to doubt those beliefs in recent years.

My next show with a disabled actor was when I was still 15. We had one disabled actress, a girl in a wheelchair. The show was set in a high school. She was in onstage twice. The first time, she sat on the side during a group number and sang with us (she was never taught any choreography. The second time, a cast member brought her on, she was crowned prom queen, and then she left the stage and was never seen again until curtain call. Honestly, at the time, I thought it was weird that we were treating her as less capable and not allowing her into any more of the show, but it’s hard to bring that up with anyone. Especially when everyone you try to talk to about it defends the choice. Everyone said that she was less capable or that she’d stick out or that her wheelchair would get in the way. I didn’t feel I could address it, so it was left unsaid. She went to school with me for five years and I never saw her in another production.

It took several years to be in another show with a disabled actor. My school was by all accounts really great about our treatment of disabled people until it came to extracurriculars.

My most recent show that I’m talking about was not technically with a disabled actor, but one who was injured for the entire rehearsal and performance process and was treated similarly from what I could see. It was last year. They were cast in the group that was onstage the least. Nobody in that group was invited to any vocal rehearsals and they were all in one choreography rehearsal. They were also made to stand at the bottom of a set piece on their own because they couldn’t climb it like the rest of their group.

I’d also like to discuss my experiences since finding out that I have a wrist problem that will likely impact me on and off for the rest of my life. For context, I have limited mobility in one of my hands due to a problem with my wrist and thumb. I cannot fully bend my wrist in any direction, nor can I comfortably straighten my thumb all the way or make a fist with the thumb on the inside.

I’d also like to note that I am currently in university taking a creative writing minor, so that sucks because my wrist and thumb do affect my ability to type and write, so it flares up a lot. I also really like to draw and sew for fun and I’ve had to greatly limit my ability to do the things I enjoy. I’ve been in two shows since I went to my doctor because of the pains and four shows since the pain started affecting my abilities to do things.

This first show I was in after my wrist got bad was a very dance heavy production that consisted of two group numbers and a solo or duet for every cast member. The worst part for me was dance warmups, where we were instructed to do many things forced us to put large amounts of pressure on our hands. Primarily different forms of lunges and pushups. I would cry after every day’s warmups. I could barely hold my props.

The next show, I actually worked crew on. I was involved in props, costumes, and makeup, as well as moving sets/props between scenes. I made props with box cutters and scissors I could barely hold. My hands shook so hard when I was trying to melt the edge of a ribbon to keep it from fraying that I dropped a match (thank god I was outside and on pavement). I sewed costumes until I couldn’t do anything for the rest of the day. One of the worst parts was when I hand-sculpted multiple special-effect-makeup prosthetics for one of our actresses. I could hardly hold my makeup brushes or my dummy head that I was sculpting on by the end of every one I made (three sets, for context, every set used two pieces). The other worst was moving sets. I was originally set to move a desk for an office scene that was so heavy that I cried after our first rehearsal and requested to be switched to a new job. I was given a bookshelf that was on wheels. Two of the four wheels were broken and I had to pick up the shelves to get it into the correct position anyway. This show was actually the reason I went to the doctor about the wrist pains.

My next show was actually an improv workshop followed by two performances. I spent the day of the workshop painting for a school activity. I ended up in a wrist brace for the full workshop. I have never seen a group of people so cautious around me, nobody was even willing to touch that arm, which made a certain amount of improv very strange because we were doing a lot of physical stuff with each other. Everyone else was grabbing hands and stuff and they were just awkwardly standing next to me. I ended up taking off my brace for the performances so that I could feel like a part of the show. and hurting myself because I should have been wearing it.

The last show was a recent production where off-and-on through the rehearsal process, I was in the brace. There were many comments made asking about why my wrist was still hurting me, which I assume is a certain amount of ignorance because yes, my wrist still hurts, I haven't been able to move it properly for half a year. However, I was not given a single costume I could wear the brace with and another cast member was instructed to pull my by the arm that was hurt. Luckily, between pain meds and excessively taking care of myself, it didn’t hurt during production week, but I’d still call that some bad treatment.

Basically, theatre sucks for disabled actors. Please, help bring awareness to this. If you’ve seen or experienced ableism, I encourage you to speak out. Yannick Mirko is a wonderful performer and an inspiration to me. He’s been through so much. Also, I’m not fond of cursing, but fuck McCarter Theater and fuck Arena Stage. Cast disabled actors as disabled characters and don’t replace them with an able-bodied understudy.

#ride the cyclone #RtC #mccarter theatre #rtc mccarter #arena stage #RtC arena stage #ableism #tw abelism

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doberbutts · 10 months

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your post about how the lack of accessibility for one need isn't the fault of that person with the need really resonated with me. ive got both physical and mental accessibility needs to go places, needing space for a wheelchair, a "quiet space" for sensory issues, various needs for my deafness depending on where im going, etc. every time i look up what the activity/business's accessibility options are, i get both sides of me ignored in different places. one site might mention tons of accessibility options for autism (and, often framed like it's specific to autistic kids but that's a whole other conversation to be had) and not even once say if there's an elevator or a ramp. one place might mention they have elevators and ramps to get into all entrances and floors, even offer a PCA employee, but then mention nothing at all about a quiet space. and my Deaf accomodations are almost never mentioned at all.

i just can't relate to people who have these experiences and blame it on the other disability for existing and receiving accommodations, instead of directing their annoyance at the ableism of the business/event for not being thorough and specific. it happens an equal amount across all my disabilities, so to me it makes zero sense to blame other disabled people for it

Exactlyyyyyyyyy. Accessibility sucks for everyone and it makes no sense to be mad at other disabled people because they happened to be the ones most helped by the lackluster accommodations provided at that specific venue. The problem is that ableist society never takes into account anything besides what they're legally required to, and often not even that, and the legal requirements are mostly a joke when it comes to what the people they're supposedly designed to help actually need, and they themselves were hard won against ableist politicians that were mad they couldn't make the icky disableds disappear.

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mueritos · 2 months

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Hey! You made a post about trying to find autistic BIPOC people- my roommate is native and autistic, though it's not something he really says anything about on his blog, and he's had a p traditional upper-middle class upbrining: FennalFennec is his username. Not sure what you're looking for exactly but wanted to help if I could.

Also, if you have the energy to answer, could you explain your autistic experience compared to the white autistic experience? Or maybe point me to people who do? Im neurodivergent as well, but white af and am p ignorant on the differences for BIPOC people.

thank you for the recc of your friends blog! Im really looking to diversify the autistic content i do engage in because its been pretty monolithic for a while now. even if your friend doesn't talk about it much, i just would like to be aware that people like me exist.

i'm still pretty much self-suspecting and would like be self-dx, but ive been retaking the raads-r after seeing that study that came out that pretty much confirms its a good indicator of ASD. kept scoring above 140 (literally right in between the average of suspected ASD in cis men and cis women, its almost like im a Transgender or something).

Anyway, im still unpacking the differences in the experience besides the obvious racialization of skin color. I think a main thing that comes to mind for about the difference between my experience as someone who was raised in an immigrant Mexican household (and as someone who has white privilege but was never treated as "White" i.e european) and the usual white autistic experience can be summed up with the Right to Comfort. I was actually talking about this with my twin the other day. The tenants of white supremacy are something I go back to everyday because they really do hold true in every aspect of life--interpersonal, intrapersonal, systemically, etc. But one of the tenants is the Right to Comfort. I'll past examples here from this pdf:

the belief that those with power have a right to emotional and psychological comfort (another aspect of valuing “logic” over emotion)

I see this a lot in how White autistics are allowed to be as "disabled" or as "autistic" as they want. There is still ableism of course, but the amount of BIPOC autistic folks who are killed, assaulted, harassed, and bullied for appearing as "disabled" or as "autistic" as they are is quite high. Even BIPOC autistics with lower support needs aren't allowed to express those needs in the ways I see White autistics can. Obviously it's a privilege to unmask, too. I personally don't relate to White autistics in that way, and it brings me a lot of discomfort. I also wanna say I'm not upset at White autistics; everyone deserves to unmask if they want and everyone deserves to receive the support they need. What I am saying is I am deeply upset by White Supremacy and the way it creates access to being myself an incredibly racialized thing. Because racism effing blows man.

also if I am veering into saying something shitty in this pls feel free to correct me. everyday im learning more about myself with this and I am still self-suspecting, but at this point there is very little else that explains the way my brain thinks and why I require certain things to feel good. i appreciate you affirming my experiences <3

#muertoresponds #hope that helped and ty!#im still working thru a lot in terms of asd and self dx #because I am definitely low support needs #but i still want to build some sort of community and knowledge #esp one that is expansive

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a-sip-of-milo · 6 months

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hi its uhhhhh research to i think i have bpd pipeline person here. idk how else to identify myself because i dont feel comfortable making myself public.

ive been intending to do more research into bpd but its like. hard and not because its hard to find resources, i found stuff on youtube, but its hard to sit down and watch it because its not entertaining enough to put my full attention on, so my mind was wandering and then i wasnt taking in information. and i dont know what to do sob. i only actually watched one video bc i know that other videos are going to be boring to me and that im not going to take in information bc i cant focus.

it was a video about what it was like living w quiet bpd and from the little i remember i was like “yep. sounds like me.” (even tho for the most part i literally cannot remember the video) and when i look at the 9 symptoms, theres 4 i can confidently say i experience, and 4 others that are a maybe, but my memory is shit so i can’t accurately tell by myself which of those symptoms i actually experience.

everytime i think abt having bpd i get upset, but i cant tell if its coming from the root of ableism(?) that me being upset about having disorders usually comes from (wanting to be “normal”) or if its coming from the root of ableism that was people with bpd/npd are inherently bad

i also think i have a favourite person. by think i mean putting the pieces together from other people talking about their favourite people from asks you answer made me realize “oh so thats why im so infatuated by this person and it’s not just being closer to them than my other friends”

Hey! I also find it incredibly difficult to sit through informative videos, so you're not alone there. There's also the issue of "am I going to sit through this entire video just to figure out that it's rooted in ableism" that stops me from getting through them. I prefer written stuff!

When it comes to the internalised ableism (also completely valid, that's not just a personality disorder issue), it could very well be a combination of both. Not only does this mean you're not "normal" anymore, but the disorder that's causing it is something that is often considered inherently bad. That can be a scary realisation to make.

I feel like i've said this before, but you don't need to rush into it. You could be struggling so much with doing research and absorbing information on the subject because your brain has yet to accept that it's okay. This can take time, and the best thing you can do if that's the case is to take a step back from the overwhelming amount of information there is to take in and work on breaking that pattern of thinking, however hard it may be.

Try positive affirmations with yourself. If you happen to recognise a particular kind of behaviour that stems from your BPD, acknowledge that, tell yourself that it's okay and move on. Think about what you'd say to another person who was struggling with the things you're experiencing. Just be kind to yourself.

Don't force yourself to do something that you're not ready for. In the end, it will only make you resent the possibility of having BPD even more and that is far less constructive.

I hope this helps, but also please don't fret if it doesn't or hesitate to tell me that i'm just rambling for no reason/you're not looking for advice. I won't be offended /gen /nm /lh

#ask #bpd #bpd safe #cluster b #cluster b safe #tw internalised ableism

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gaykneecaps · 5 months

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dude the amount of posts ive seen on here from physically disabled people talking about their experiences as physically disabled people that immediately get derailed by neurodivergent people who are ablebodied is ridiculous- as someone who is both very neurodivergent and physically disabled, there is a time and a space to discuss your neurodivergency but when physically disabled people are trying to talk about their experiences is NOT IT. especially since i am not VISIBLY disabled, i do not in any way experience the same blatant ableism that people who are visibly disabled do- sure, i face a different type of ableism that is not really worse or better its still ableism, but the point is im not going to go onto a post made by a wheelchair-user about the ableism they face and then comment and say 'oh i know exactly what thats like because i have pots blah blah' becuase no the fuck i dont, and its the same with neurodivergent people who are ablebodied telling me that they know what its like to be physically disabled, or doing shit like that on posts made about physical disability. its obviously a select few people that do this but it just makes me really angry. this is also in no way implying that neurodivergent people do not experience ableism because we absolutely do, on a daily basis, but its just infuriating to see people trying to derail posts about physical disability you know? theres a time and place to talk about your own experiences and its just plain rude to make a post that is not about you, about you

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drdemonprince · 1 year

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hey i know what im about to ask for advice for isnt ur experience but i thought its possible someone else in ur audience has had a similar one its just starting to get unbearable. im in my early 20s and an autistic lesbian. im almost done with college, have had good friends here, have had good friends online as well, but to my knowledge no one throughout my entire life has had even a crush on me. ive never kissed anyone, no one’s asked me out, even as a kid at recess or whatever. like sometimes i even wish a boy had paid attention to me in that way because maybe then it prove theres not something wrong with me. its just so isolating because literally everyone else in my life has at least been kissed or had a crush situation by the time they were my age. ive tried to talk on dating apps but i just have zero confidence about it because no one who has actually seen me or talked to me for more than a couple times has expressed interest. maybe im oblivious to it being autistic but like i would know if someone said something explicit you know? i feel like it wont ever happen. idk. i think it would help to know if people thought the same things about themselves and then something did happen for them. because it just feels like im the only person alive with this experience who actually wants these things to happen (like i know ace/aro people are out there, its just not me)

Thank you for your question. I'll share some of my thoughts, with the huge caveats that I have not lived this experience, and hopefully readers with more relevant perspectives could also weigh in.

I notice here that you describe yourself and your relationship to attraction in terms of things happening to you, or you receiving certain kinds of attention. You frame yourself throughout this as the possible passive recipient of attraction. But what about what you want? How often have you expressed desire to somebody? How frequently and in what ways have you initiated contact, told someone you were interested in them, or invited someone on a date?

You mention using dating sites and talking with people, but those conversations never turning into anything more. That seems to be a very common problem in the lesbian dating world. I think a lot of women do not feel confident and comfortable in expressing their desires outright and it seems to lead to a lot of grinding of gears and people assuming that nobody is interested in them when really all parties involved feel too shy and disempowered to use their words and directly ask for a date.

I understand that to be a very common thing for queer women, though admittedly it is difficult for me to wrap my mind around as someone who was telling people on OK Cupid that i wanted to meet up and fuck them that evening back when I was like 21 years old, and who moves through the realms of steamworks and grindr and the cell block bar dancefloor now. I've had many interpersonal problems but telling somebody directly that I wanted to bang or even to hang out has not historically been one of them, and I really wish I could just lend some of that hutzpah over to my lensbian siblings because I hear people grousing about how dry apps like Lex are all the time.

It seems pretty glib and unhelpful for me to say "just act more like a bluntly direct gay autistic man" and to say that would be to ignore that a lack of confidence and queer women skewing a bit passive are probably not the only factors you're dealing with. There might be biases working against you like fatphobia, racism, or ableism that incline fewer people to openly express desire for you, and that's a real problem that operates outside of you and that no amount of self love can eradicate, and I think it's validating and important to just acknowledge when the deck is stacked against people.

But there are lots of people out there who will want to date and fuck you, for sure, even if you are dealing with any of those injustices, and additionally, I doubt from your message that you're doing anything particularly weird or off putting in your messages with people on dating apps that's like driving anybody away. You mention that you have a lot of good friends and that things are otherwise going pretty decently for you in life, so it really doesn't seem to me like anything you are doing or bringing to the table is "wrong". And over the years I have known a great many lesbians and wlw who were very social, outgoing, fun to be around, cute, and a total romantic prize who just did not fuck or date until their late 20s or 30s or beyond, because of some of the social forces I already described (and again I encourage my lesbian followers to contribute to the conversation because I know it's not my lane and I might not be explaining the phenomenon correctly).

If you haven't, I would suggest showing your dating app profile and messages to some trusted friends (maybe some gay men as well as other queer women?) to get a variety of perspectives and some reassurance.

But I think, based on the admittedly limited information that I have here, that you just need to approach people more and more directly, and that slowly through that you will become more comfortable with initiation and rejection, as well as with seeing yourself as a sexual being with agency, rather than a passive receiver of others' interest.

Try telling people directly that they are cute, that you like them, that you want to be around them, that you'd like to kiss them, that you'd love to go see a movie with them or tie them up or finger blast them or that being near them makes you happy or horny or etc as the situation warrants. If you havent already that is!

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queerautism · 2 years

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hi! hope you're doing okay :)

i'd just like to ask a few syscourse questions if thats alright! please dont feel like you have to answer this ask, and if you do, you dont have to answer every question! ^^;

why do people call anti-endos sysmeds? like i kinda get it but there's a difference in being transphobic and trying to keep a disorder a disorder..? im very confused. and ive also heard from a lot of anti-endos that they're nondysphoric trans people, which makes them highly uncomfortable to be called sysmeds.

what makes an endo system an endo system? sorry if this question is weird but i cant really think of any other way to phrase it.

why is it so important that endos share DID/OSDD spaces? endos are systems, yes, but i feel like it's different from disordered systemhood, if that makes sense? not in a bad way, just in a like... these experiences are similar but not the same, yk? ^^; (sorry if none of this makes any sense at all. my brain and body are very bad today ^^;) im endo-neutral btw! i've been both pro- and anti- endo in the past, now im just running along the fence i suppose! ^^;

1. If sysmeds don't like the comparison to transmeds they should use the exact same arguments. Their identity doesn't give them a pass. They're not "trying to keep a disorder a disorder", they're trying to pretend plurality is always a disorder, which is very much not the case for a lot of us.

2. An endogenic system is any system that does not originate due to trauma. There's many other possible origins, it's basically an umbrella term for many different plural experiences.

3. Why on earth should we separate everyone, instead of sharing a community and finding solidarity with each other, to fight societal ableism together?

I can't tell you the amount of posts I've seen in the traumagenic tag from young systems looking for help and community, but they end the post with a big ENDOS DNI - And I know the experiences they're talking about are things that plural people in my inclusive community have discussed before, including endogenic systems, things they could find help and understanding for here if they weren't actively rejecting that community and solidarity.

Also there is no such thing as being neutral. You did not phrase any of these questions in a neutral way either.

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larnax · 9 months

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ok im not strong enough. hater mode activate.

im only so angry about this because its the first time ive ever seen bottom surgery even mentioned in a fandom context and its to shit on it. im gpnna turn into the joker

easy to DIY" this is dumb for the same reason "DIY wheelchair ramps" are dumb. gcs and making hrt both take skill and knowledge the average person does not have. DIY hrt saves lives and is many peoples' only option i am not disagreeing with that but its not your buddy brent making it in his bathtub its someone who has the medical knowledge who just isnt operating in an official capacity. you cannot do it Yourself unless you want to end up injecting olive oil. this is even more true for surgery. do you think you could perform a DIY vaginectomy????? have at least a baseline respect for the people who developed gcs procedures and the people who perform them

"leaves scars" every non op trans person owes me $500USD. i am so fucking tired of people who never bothered to address their internalized ableism/transphobia about ew yuck icky scars making that my problem by loudly announcing how disgusted they are by an extremely normal part of the human experience. there is nothing wrong with having visible scarring and there is nothing wrong with surgical scarring and acting like there is provably makes people avoid procedures that would unambiguously improve their lives

"certain procedures can be risky" aw cmon bud we all know which procedures you mean! pretty please keep fearmongering about how risky bottom surgery is otherwise someone might decide to actually get a surgery which has an extremely normal success rate for surgeries. yes they make you sign a bunch of forms acknowledging the risk thats called Informed Consent and 90% of the complications are true for literally any surgery or literally any surgery on the urethra/genitals. bottom surgery is not some uniquely dangerous procedure

"implants and bottom surgery highly imperfect" every non op trans person owes me $1000USD. would you say this about any other aspect of transition? is there any fucking room in your head for the fact that postop trans people actually exist in real life and could possibly see you talking about how disgusting you find them? because im 1) real and 2) fucking your mother with my Imperfect Dick right now

"doesnt leave scars/looks completely natural" every non op trans person owes me $1500USD. this stupid fucking idea people have that The Natural Body is 1) even a thing and 2) something we should aspire to or protect is so wildly transphobic and ableist that it, too, turns me into the joker. would you say this to an amputee? to someone who had an organ transplant? because people do and its the same bullshit. the right to bodily autonomy includes the right to alter your body! i dont fucking care if i Look Natural(although its worth noting that most people cant actually tell fully healed phallo dicks and natal dicks apart. i went to a urologist and he only realized i was postop when i told him) and it should not be treated as an unambiguously good thing.

LIKE EVEN THE FUCKING DOCTOR IS NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE MEDICAL BOTTOM SURGERY. olberic had an "averse reaction to medicine" <- directly against canon where he can be healed fine WHOLESALE INVENTED just so that we minimize the amount of people who could theoretically have phalloplasty

also youre lying to yourself and more importantly me if you think ophilia has any medical knowledge whatsoever shes literally a faith healer who cant even deal with poison

like ok "a wizard did it" is better than literally not even acknowledging some trans people want to "switch their junk" like most people do or arguing that its ahistorical to have any medical transition, However this is just having that so you can present it as the better alternative to the inferior gross medical transition which . go fuck yourself!!! go fuck yourself.

again im mostly so mad about this because when i saw the words "bottom surgery" in a fandom thing i was really really excited because i never get to see even other fans who acknowledge that their favorite characters could be like me! i had a solid 5 seconds of just being ecstatic to be represented and then i actually read the damn thing and it was just more of the fucking same.

#c.paradisi

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butch-bakugo · 3 years

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At this point, after seeing the nasty classist and racist shit being sprouted from the white vegans reblogging my post and the entire " holier than thou" attitude these middle class white cis vegans spout at any non vegans and the sheer ENTITLEMENT they have, im blocking vegans, especially white vegans, on sight. Im gettin REAL close to dni territory.

They genuinely believe their white asses who live in gentrified neighborhoods and live next to hipster cafe's with drinks that cost $15 a pop are oppressed. The white savior complex is insane in these poofy whites.

Anyway the veganism movement in general has fueled ecofascism, racism, ableism and classism to an insane degree and no amount of " not all vegans" and " its the message that counts" will erase the harm they cause to Indiginous, black, disabled and poor communities. You can fight animal cruelty without harming those communities the way your passive aggressive asses do. What do you think happens to the black families in black neighborhoods when you kick out the walmart and shove in a whole foods? They starve cause they cant fuckin afford your insane prices on shit that dosent matter. Ive seen shit that was $4 per apple. Yeah no, these families are gonna buy the $5 pack of 5 Tostitos party pizzas that will feed all their kids instead of pitful snack with a wax layer on it.

Like, yall realize how white and gentrified your movement is? Do you have any idea how many poor poc have to live off the McDonald's $1 menu? I can even pull up my experiences as a mixed native person who had to bring large plastic cups of nickels and pennies to kroger and walmart just to afford a can of fuckn soup with some protein in it. White people destroyed our native environment and now yall wanna play white savior by trying to " save it"?

Oh and yall are fucking liars saying that " no vegans geniuinely want everyone to go vegan." When it took me 5 minutes of scrolling through your followers to find 3 vegans who shit on people who dont care about veganism and who say your " making excuses" by saying you cant afford or cant do a vegan diet cause " peanut butter and jelly is vegan!" What are poor people to you? Middle school children at lunch??

At least yall could not be so irritatingly obnoxious about it. God middle class white chick, stfu and stop comparing the meat industry and inuit fishing to the fuckin holocaust, stop saying that dairy milk and vaccines cause autism and stop acting like everyone who dosent want to follow your diet for litterally any reason is a fuckin " murderer".

Honestly yall make me wanna go eat a double bacon cheese burger out of spite cause yall are fucking irritating and performitive.

#levi speaks #anti vegan #by this point its accurste #veganism is racist #veganism is classist #veganism is ableist #anti peta #fuck yall honestly.by this point #tw the holocaust

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psychoticallytrans · 2 years

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hi i hope this isnt a weird question to ask but. uhm tomorrow i have to tell my therapist about a maybe-psychotic-depression episode i had last week and im like, Nervous:tm: and unsure how or what to say? this is probably So stupid to ask but is there. i dont know. a script for this kind of thing, a limit to what i should disclose (im trying to avoid institutionalization, im in college and i cant afford to miss class)? therapy in general is new to me and while ive maybe had episodes like this in the past, the one i had last week was a new level of intense, too, so im just very out of my depth. thank you so much if you reply to this and if you cant thats okay too <3

This took me a long time to get around to. This probably won't help you in particular, anon, but I hope it helps others.

I will disclaim before this post that I have had extremely traumatic experiences in therapy. I came out of therapy with more disabilities and more severe ones than when I went in, and at least one of my therapists can be pinned as a direct cause. That will color this post.

The problem of therapy and disclosure is that... therapists are people, and they are people whose word holds an incredible amount of sway when considering how to act in regards to their clients. That sway is a problem because of how ableism and specifically saneism interact with the medical industry and with society. We are not seen as arbiters of our experiences. They are seen as the authorities on us. Everything you disclose will be filtered through the therapist, all of their prejudices and preconceptions, before it becomes something that the medical system will take seriously.

Amplifying this is the unavailability of therapy and how very few therapists are also mentally ill. If they are, it's even rarer to find one with a disorder that is considered "threatening"- for a reason. The inventor of DBT was BPD, and the second she revealed this, she was essentially exiled from her community. This means, in order, that a) a lot of people have to either adapt to their therapist or go without therapy and b) that therapists can very rarely actually relate to the experiences of clients that need heavy-duty help.

They might be presented as cutesy and "just here to help", but therapists are still medical professionals administering medical treatment with medical authority, and should be treated by disabled people with every caution that you treat a normal doctor with.

As such, this is my advice.

a) Don't disclose any heavy duty symptoms or trauma until you've tested them on some lighter topics, and they've handled them well. "Well" means not denying your experiences, respecting boundaries that you put up, and not acting like mental illness being in your head means you can think yourself well in a few hours. To define "heavy duty" generally, think about what you would put behind a trigger warning for an audience of adults.

b) Don't sign anything without reading it in full. If you don't understand it, tell them you need time to understand it before you can sign it. If they respond to this by telling you to just sign it or that it's not important, that should send alarm bells clanging in your head.

c) Request your medical record. Even if you're not concerned about your therapist, it lets you see their notes. It can be very informative.

d) If they pass as a decent person, then only one disclosure should get you institutionalization: confessing that you are going to hurt yourself or another person. If you can't afford institutionalization, and this is a problem for you, then you are going to have to find ways to deal with that without telling your therapist that. This is actually very easy. As long as you don't tell them that the feeling is current, you can ask for advice. "I sometimes have problems with wanting to hurt myself. Can you help me?" or "I worry that I might do harm to other people- what can I do to avoid that?" are great ways to phrase it that should still get you help as long as you can keep them in the past or future tense. If either of these is an active problem for you, seek whatever help you safely can.

e) Understand that therapy is medical treatment. It is very possible to perform great healing with it. It is also very possible to perform great medical malpractice.

You only have one mind. Be careful who you trust with it.

#Partially justified paranoia #medical malpractice #symptomatic #answered

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deniigi · 3 years

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ok i agree 100% with like. all of ur points on the devildad ask and i am not making excuses but i think like almost all of the people who write devildad (fron my experience of it on ao3) have not read the comics, and if they did only the like. main marvel ones and not daredevil if that makes sense ?? like i can count on one hand the amount of people ive cone across who know who sam is while scuttling around on ao3 and i think that plays a big part in why its so... prevalent ig?? i feel like mist of the devildad content ive seen is fron people way more into the mcu side and focused on the films and that theyre an entirely different subculture within the marvel fandon of lack of a better descriptor . like its a conpletely different group of people ive seen who write nuclear family father figure matt and 90% of then dont really have a grasp on who matt is as a person in the way that people whove read the comics and watched the netflix shows more than theyve watched the films do and idk i think its so fadcinating how the same character can be used and interpreted in such different ways. in my brain ive divorced every single iteration of a character in individual fics fron who they are by themselves bc its so wildly inconsistent and sometimes so downright different from how i experience the character that i have to quit the tab and cry a little bit

Hey Anon, sorry I struggled a little with what you were saying here and needed a second opinion so that I didn’t misunderstand you.

I think that it is reasonable to say that yes, the folks writing Devildad are not aware of Matt’s many characterizations in media and yes, they almost certainly don’t know who Sam is.

And I get that. I didn’t know who Sam was and I also didn’t read any comics when I first started writing Matt and Peter.

I can see how fanon version of characters, too, differ so much from canon ones that they become unrecognizable as those characters, and that there comes a point where, to read anything about them, you have to suspend your disbelief.

However while I agree that that’s a great analysis of the situation, I don’t think it’s a good reason to let those folks off the hook, if that makes sense?

Like, when I found out about Sam, I stopped writing Peter and Matt getting closer into a mentor-mentee relationship out of respect for the fact that there were other people whose stories needed telling.

I understand that you don’t know what you don’t know until its staring you in the face, but I think that we all have a responsibility to think when we are creating media--to really think--about what stories we are telling, how we are telling them, and what messages they are reinforcing.

So when I say I don’t like Devildad, it’s not about shaming those folks who do like it or who are writing it; it’s rather about me using my privilege of A) having an audience, B) being white passing and C) having knowledge of alternative narrative lenses to help others think differently about what they are writing/consuming and what broader effects those actions may have on the stories that get told and who benefits from them.

In the case of neglecting to look into Sam’s story, Devildad becomes an issue of erasure for people of color. In the case of woobifying Peter, Devildad becomes an issue of ageism. And in the case of people misunderstanding what roles people can play in ‘found families,’ Devildad becomes an issue of replicating rigid, patriarchal dynamics (what I mean here is that by assigning people roles in a ‘family’ structure, people are in fact saying that anyone who comes from a family that does not replicate those structures does not have a ‘real’ family. There is classism, racism, ageism, and ableism associated with this.)

Sorry this is a long response to you trying to advocate for folks who don’t know any better, and I appreciate you defending them. But I think I’m also advocating for the other side of that equation too!

asd;ajds;kfjasdfsd f that clears nothing up sorry sorry thank you for the ask, though! You’re very kind to other humans that’s super sweet of you.

#fic

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markergraveyard · 2 years

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How about 39 for the horror ask thing?

39. what do you think of modern horror? in general, but also in comparison to horror of the past?

ooh this is a really good one!! i have a lot of thoughts bc i want to go into horror media. putting a read more bc its looong omg

parts of modern horror i dont really like, but there are more parts that i do like. i feel like the major horror movies of the past decade or so have been significantly psychological horror, which for me is really hit or miss (just bc it effects me a lot and i dont particularly want to have a psychotic episode lol) im glad that were seeing a lot of new ideas instead of rehashing the same premise (person/ppl in mask go on killing spree !1!1 looking @ u happy death day, the purge, youre next, not that theyre bad just. its a bit of a tired trope) im extremely tired of movies that make mental illness the main monstrous part of the villain (like split, the joker- even tho its not horror, midsommar, so many other films) ive had people stop talking to me after they find out i have bipolar because of movies like that, they think ill kill or hurt them in a manic episode, when in reality my manic episodes are more ‘i am going to become the most amazing guitarist in the world even though i have never played guitar also im god’

i am glad however that were slowly moving away from ‘facial/body difference/disability = scary’ trope, the amount of films that theyve just slapped a facial scar on some dude and called him a villain is. exhausting. (i think thats part of the reason i like the og tcm over the remakes, the og tobe hooper and gunnar hansen said that leatherface uses the masks to express himself, not because he has any sort of facial difference) theres a lot of ableism entrenched in horror, and im really hoping were starting to stop doing that

the psychology of what we as humans typically find scary are things that are so close to human but not quite, but specifically with extremely long limbs, sunken eyes, even a completely lack of facial features (like slenderman, and similarly the rake and the russian sleep experiment)

#omg this is so long but !! special interest lmao #ALSO TYYYYYY #ask

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boygirlz · 4 years

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hi um im autistic and ive never heard of aspec being used for autistic people? i asked my psychiatrist who specializes in autism and he said hes seen autism spectrum but never aspec

yeah! a-spec used to stand for autism spectrum :) a few of my autistic friends use it, but most acknowledge the allistic ableism behind the "high to low functioning" bullshit

aces use it to mean "asexual spectrum", which doesn't exist! You either experience sexual attraction or you dont! There is no "greyasexual" and "demisexual" is how many just experience attraction

The "amount" that u feel it doesn't make u "asexual sometimes" most if not ALL people aren't down for sex 24/7/365 lol

#asexual #aspec #demisexual #greyasexual

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theplantqueer · 4 years

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Hi! Ive been getting over my internalised ableism and come to accept that I really should get a wheelchair sometime soon so I've been browsing places like gumtree trying to see whats out there and I just feel so lost. I have no idea what makes a (manual, self propelled) wheelchair good, or what I should be looking for wrt size, wheel position, foldability, price. Do you know any good resources that might be useful, or places to look, or personal knowledge and experience? Thank you and take care!

Hey, that's so fair to feel lost! Wheelchairs are complex and it can be hard to find resources on what might best suit yr needs when u don't have formal supports. If u can access formal supports, an Occupational Therapist (who specialises in wheelchair fittings) can guide you in that process. If not, I'll give my best guidance for u here without knowing you or your needs. It's gonna be long but still only touches on most aspects so feel free to ask clarifications.

So the different aspects here all interweave, but I'd start with figuring out what your needs are: do u need a lightweight manual chair you can push yourself? a power chair? or will you generally be using it when others can comfortably push you and therefore can get away with a (heavier but cheaper and more readily available) hospital style chair? do you need a folding (non-rigid) to be able to store it relatively flat (like if you want it to fit in aeroplane closets), or does a rigid (but still foldable) manual chair work for your needs (i can fit mine in most car boots easy)? Do you need a higher backrest for support or do you need less of that to have better range of motion in yr arms when pushing yourself?

If you're going for manual chairs, knowing the difference between lightweight everyday vs hospital/temporary chairs is pretty important, especially if yr needs best suit the former. Everyday chairs are generally rigid (so most don't have the X bars underneath, unless they're the super low-profile ones, can explain more on that if needed), and this makes them more lightweight bc it's less metal on the frame. My old (folding) chair I would have completely bypassed if not for the brand name though - it was a Quickie, and I knew the model to be an ultra-lightweight style - so I also recommend looking into brand names (Tilite, Quickie, Mogo if yr in sydney, etc) that you can look out for in your searches. If you're pushing yourself you'll want the centre of the rear wheel to be at least forward of the backrest, or able to be moved there (temp chairs often have them p far back because they care more about you not tipping back than being able to comfortably push).

If yr going for power chairs, what's most crucial imo is looking for keywords in their ad that indicate how the battery might be doing. If they say it's best for indoors, or that it hasn't been used for a while (even if brand new), or outright state that it needs new batteries, that can be a couple hundred bucks or more out of your pocket to get it working. I don't know a huge amount about other specifics to look out for, since I've only gotten one second hand power chair and it was for a friend.

Re: price, I got my first chair for AU$200 on a stroke of luck, and my second was AU$900 haggled down about ninety bucks, both secondhand. most secondhand everyday chairs are somewhere between the two, i've found, but sometimes they break a grand. The chair I got the other day for my friend was completely free, but came with needed repairs that are probably gonna end up totalling somewhere in that price range anyway. Power chairs can be that low sometimes too, but will usually need new batteries in that case unless they say it's recently serviced, and can be up to $1500 for a cheapo one. Sometimes ppl are selling them for tens of thousands of dollars on gumtree but those are high end chairs.

re: sizing, a lot of people selling their chairs won't put up info on the sizing for some reason, so u can pretty reliably know that if someone does, they're selling their own chair rather than someone doing it for them. Those ppl will generally be happier to answer further questions you've got, i've found, but it's always worth asking for measurements if they're not listed. I haven't sized myself properly before, I basically lucked out that my first chair was only like an inch too small and was manageable, and my current chair's only an inch too wide and a bit short for my legs. It does still make a difference - being a bit wide, my current one hurts my shoulders more. Much less than if it was way too wide for me tho. I think to get a general idea of your measurements, just google 'how to measure for wheelchair' or something and follow the steps there.

in terms of other resources, i've done things like spending whole days going down youtube rabbit holes watching people explain and review their wheelchairs to get a better idea of what works for them, especially ppl with the same body stuff going on. If you have any questions about any of this u can also DM me! I'm pretty busy atm so could take a little bit to respond at times but rly happy to respond when i get a moment :)

Also honestly I am constantly (daily) looking at chairs available in my city and occasionally other cities on gumtree, so if u want me to keep an eye out for something suitable in your city I'm happy to do that, just DM me xx

#this feels haphazard and probably hard to take in so just reiterating we can have a convo abt this #happy hunting otherwise!#me #ramble #long post #ok to reblog if u need! ok to add anything ive missed but remember this is for secondhand chairs not custom fit ones #my advice would look v different if getting a custom fit #crip shit

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