#the natural way of things... absolutely shattering. very sensitive subject matter & some things that could have been handled better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

big-bad-a-detective-story · 4 years

Text

CHAPTER 03

It was obvious I wasn’t getting anywhere with the kid nor the creep, so I decided I’d try my luck with the woman at the root of it all; Ms. Fawcett herself. In only moments, I was knocking on her cottage door. I was soon greeted by the smiling face of what appeared to be a kindly old woman. But I knew better than to let my guard down for a second.

“Oh, hello, dear!” The old woman readjusted her spectacles and got a better look at me. If her frown was any indication, she wasn’t pleased with what she saw. “You’re not Little Red ...”

“How astute of you, ma’am. I’m known around these parts as the Big Bad Wolf, and I’ve got a few choice questions I’d like to--”

“Oh my, wolf? Wolf!”

I’m not sure which hurt worse in that moment: my feelings, or my snout when she slammed the door in my face. Alright, fine. It was quickly becoming clear to me that a direct approach wasn’t going to work here. On to plan B.

The B stands for boring, and boy was it. A good stakeout takes patience, vigilance, and dedication to the craft. I just so happen to possess all three in spades, but even I was beginning to nod off in the tree I’d perched myself in by the time I spotted movement along the adjacent treeline.

It was Larry Lemonade! Just this fact alone was enough to jolt my senses-- as well as nearly caused me to topple from my roost. Grabbing onto the sturdy branch of the tree, I shielded my eyes with a free hand.

All the better to see him with, you know.

Larry was the perfect vision of a sneaking snike-- mostly because that was what he was doing. He slithered out from behind the trees, tip-toeing through shrubbery as he made it to the door of Fawcett’s cottage. I watched, ever vigilant, as the depraved delinquent turned himself side to side-- no doubt on the lookout for my familiar face.

Ha! For someone who took such pride in his intelligence, apparently looking UP was above him!

After a few minutes the wolf seemed satisfied enough, straightening his crooked frame as he knocked on the door. It was only as an afterthought that Larry bent over to pluck a handful of posies from the window box, holding them as a makeshift bouquet.

It was the moment the old woman had opened the door to her home that I had realized my mistake: I was too far away to hear anything! Cursing that my brilliance had been my downfall, I strained my eyes to get a better view. I happen to be an amatuer lip reader, so it was at that moment my skill was put to the test.

Ah, Fawcett was surprised. Larry handed the flowers over, something about ‘for you, my dear’. My head was beginning to ache from the agony of my peepers peeping beyond their limits, but I could see that scoundrel kissing her hand, and Fawcett feigning a demure attitude. My frustration was building, and it was building fast.

I didn’t need to see Larry getting himself a sugar granny, after all!

Thankfully some higher power was on my side, as the flirting came to an end. Either Maybelle was suddenly offering an avocado, or she had just asked the wolf to come in.

“The plot thickens!” I cried out triumphantly, troubling my temporary twittering neighbors. But who cared about THEM, anyway. No birds were going to keep me from my case!

The robins apparently disagreed, as their sudden swooping caused me to tumble out of the tree. But no matter! The vines and underbrush I now found myself entangled in provided the perfect cover I needed. I’ve gotten so adept at camouflage, I don’t even need to try anymore.

I heard her long before I saw her. I'd know that chipper humming anywhere. And wouldn’t you know it, a moment later there she was, skipping into the clearing, her basket in one hand, a bouquet of flowers in her other. The final piece of the puzzle had arrived, and I waited, I watched, held in place just as much by my keen sense of intuition, as by the shrubbery.

Red shifted the flowers to her other hand, and she knocked on the door. The door opened, but it wasn’t the old woman standing there.

“Hiya, Granny! Hey wait,,,”

The girl was snatched up so quickly I barely saw it, her optimistic cry of “Whee!” cut off abruptly as she was pulled inside, the door slamming shut behind her. I was beginning to think maybe the girl was in danger, after all.

It wasn’t the time to think of suspects, it was time to save lives! The make it or break it moment where heroes were born!

Thus, quite naturally, my birth of valor was through breaking the cottage window.

Glass shattering was merely a cymbal in the sea of sounds coming from the home-- heavy thuds and muffled screams being the key notes. I might not have known the full story of what was going on, but I knew trouble when I heard it on the soundtrack of life! So, I used this opportunity to stretch my paw inside-- fiddling with the lock on the other side. The noise continued, and I was beginning to grow-- dare I say it-- worried.

With a small metallic click I was allowed entrance. AHA! It was with a cry of success that I threw up the panel, and climbed inside-- only just missing having the window slam back down on my back. I clambered to my back paws, dusting my coat and gave a look about.

The place was an absolute wreck-- and I didn’t just mean from the taste of tacky furniture! Tables were flipped, picture frames were thrown to the floor. Chairs were… Actually, they were fine--BUT EVERYTHING ELSE! Oooh, this had the markings of a genuine struggle!

My deducing would have to wait, as it was the sound of the little girl screaming that sprung me into action.

“I gotcha Red!”

I scurried to the foyer, followed by stumbling up the steps. I was huffing and puffing by the time I reached the top floor. Another cry! All that stood between me and saving the child was a simple door.

I charged with everything I had.

I collapsed, along with the wooden door. Boy, they sure don’t build houses like they used to anymore… Where were the Walrus and the Carpenter when you needed them?

Oh, right. Prison.

I shook my head, visions of singing oysters leaving me as I took in the room I had so desperately demanded entrance to. Blinking with heavy eyes, I was shocked by what I saw!

The room was absolutely deserted.

The open window told me everything I needed to know … granny and the girl had been nabbed. But where had Larry taken them, and for what purpose? I asked myself these very questions as I descended the stairs, my deep contemplative concentration broken by a loud clatter that could have only been the front door crashing open.

Even more guests? The last thing I needed. Or perhaps the very thing I needed … perhaps whoever it was had seen something, had some information vital to this new questionable quandary I suddenly found myself with. I continued my way down the stairs, and prepared to confront the guest.

Or the intruder.

What I didn’t expect, however, was to see a modern day Adonis. If you asked a barkeep for a tall glass of water, this guy would be the equivalent of getting the whole barrel. Seemingly kind eyes were tinged with worry, as the large lumbering man stumbled through the door. He picked it up afterwards, leaning it back into its frame in some sort of manner of bashful etiquette. Hand on his ax-- Woodsman, then-- he called into the destroyed home.

“Mrs. Fawcett? Ma’am? You home? I brought you this week’s supply!” Boots crushed a picture frame, the lad stopping in his tracks as he bent over to pluck it from under his heel. “Oh my, bingo must have been intense. Shame I missed it!”

This was said with enough cheer that it caused me to facepalm from my spot on the stairs. Oh no, the kid was a nimrod in every sense of the word! I continued to watch: while I was sure he wasn’t the brains of the operation, I wasn’t yet sure where the Woodsman fell on the morality scale. (For all I knew he was a goon of Larry’s!) After I witnessed a cleanup of the crime scene, the Woodsman stopped himself to frown at the rest of the mess.

I could practically hear the squeaks of unused wheels, as the lad was attempting to make a thought.

“I… am beginning to suspect this wasn’t from bingo.”

“Nooo, you THINK?”

My outburst came as a surprise to us both-- my only weakness being the fact I couldn’t stand the simpleminded. Unfortunately for me, I wouldn’t be standing for long: for the moment the Woodsman spotted my fury complexion… Well, let’s just say profiling caused the oaf to have an ax to grind with little old me.

I have no shame in admitting I yelped, falling down the stairs as I dodged the swing of the blade.

“H-hey, pal, let’s be reasonable!”

Another swing of the ax told me that logic and reason may not have been this guy’s strong suit. The way said ax sliced through an overturned table, barely missing me as I scrambled out of the way, told me he may have been wearing his strong suit,

“Halt, foul beast!” This man had a voice like a tuba. “What have you done with poor Ms. Fawcett? I don’t see her anywhere!”

“I’ve been trying to tell you! If you’d just put the ax away, and give me a chance to explain myself...”

My wit is quicker than my legs, I’m afraid, and I failed to escape the hand the size of my head. I was snatched up off the ground like an unfortunate rabbit in the talons of a hungry hawk. The brute of a man looked me up and down as I dangled there.

Not my most prideful moment.

“Hmmm. You didn’t eat her, did you?”

“EAT HER?!”

Now, let me tell you a thing or two about wolves: we get a bad rap. Sometimes it felt like wolves were getting the short end of the stick on everything. Treating all the world's problems on wolves like me. You know what it’s like to get stink eyes everywhere you go? Can’t even fish for a bargain on salmon without people grabbing their kids and running for the hills!

So let’s just say I am a smiggen sensitive when it comes to the subject.

“I’ll show YOU ‘eat her’!” I growled, rage blinding me as I attempted to do the same to the bigot-- claws swiping at nothing. “I walked IN on this, you loony lout! Now put me DOWN before I-”

If the Woodsman considered my threat, even for a fraction of a second, it didn’t show. Head starting to feel like a cheap stress toy, the barbarian secured his grip as he began stomping towards the kitchen.

At this, I protested.

“Hey! Where are you taking me? You can’t do this! I’m a detective: I have RIGHTS!”

I was starting to think the sore throat I was getting from yelling was all for nothing-- especially as the guy ignored me. In some ways that was WORSE than being accused of sentience cannibalism. However, I quickly deduced what the plan was, as I saw the Woodsman reaching for the phone hanging on the wall.

My suspicions were confirmed when I heard the seven words every detective loathed to hear:

“I’d like to speak to the police.”

#big bad: a detective story #norman d wolf #the woodsman #chapter 03

11 notes · View notes

blarhiv · 5 years

Text

Pre-Debut Fan on Shipping and KM

Guys,one wonderful Anonnie decided to bless us with so well written article.So,please,read it <3

Anonnie,thank you for sharing with us your thoughts!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BE WARNED VERY LONG SHIPPING/KM POST AHEAD!!!!

First of all, I just want to clarify that I’m a KM supporter. By my current understanding and my own personal definition, this is to say that that while I believe in the possibility of these two individuals being in a real-life relationship, I am at peace with the reality that it is also conceivable that they are merely very close, wonderful friends. I will get to KM a bit later, but I first want to go through some general commentary on the statement of the fandom in regards to shipping first. I’ve tried to be as respectful as I could and so, things have gotten quite lengthy indeed.

PART 1: Shipping and Fandoms

Shipping Wars

My first point of major contention lies in shipping wars—in quick and easy summation, I truly really fail to understand shipping wars.

It doesn’t quite make sense to me that there are individuals warring over which ship is real when, no one in the band has ever confirmed a heterosexual relationship, never mind an in-band relationship. So, why fight about it when we can enjoy the lovely bonds between human beings and celebrate good, ostensibly healthy relationships?

If shippers were really into their “ship” (for lack of better terminology) for the bond between those two people, I feel that it is imperative to acknowledge what complete injustice one is doing by participating in something so meaningless and hateful as shipping wars.(Now, despite my refusal to get involved in shipping wars, I do empathize and understand those combating the wretched comments and criticisms these toxic individuals in the fandom say about undeserving band members. But I still do implore people not to argue over with some of these hyper-volatile, toxic individuals about why their perspective is inherently flawed because these people are highly unlikely to entertain a healthy, open discourse about a difference in opinions.)

And at the point where shippers are determined to evince the realness of their ship, I think their intentions are automatically highly suspect.

Why?

If one is truly trying to celebrate the connection, the supposed love, and the affection of said ship, there absolutely shouldn’t be a pressing need or compulsion to prove others wrong for not sharing the same perspective as yours.

At that point, it becomes less about a celebration of love and more about selfish gratification—whatever it is that may be incentivizing said shipper (And there are, unfortunately, a plethora of self-serving reasons people ship which are not limited to the fetishization of gays/Asians, the determination not to have their dreams of being with a band member to be shattered by their significant other being a female, the egotistical compulsion of needing to be “right”, etc.). And if one is shipping with the genuine intentions of supporting a potentially LGBTQ band member or generally supporting two humans demonstrating great love (whether it presents itself in a platonic or romantic expression), it needn’t matter what the label or status of that relationship is.

So, if one is supporting with selfless intentions and a sincere desire to see members happy, there’s no point of arguing about the “realness” of a ship because at the end of the day, all the ships in the band are real—because they all have honest, genuine relationships with one another as friends. Shipping Real People

This is also a highly controversial subject and I believe it is mainly due to the lack of boundaries people have set in place when they participate in shipping real people.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with real people ships—but only under great constraints and self-monitoring. Most people who ship real people do so because human beings are naturally drawn to and attracted to love—that is to say, people love love. That’s why people enjoy romantic movies and relationships between characters on television shows. That’s why writers like to write about love and photographers take pictures of things and people they love.

However, the problem lies in people who take liberties with how seriously they can invest into a real person ship or how entitled they begin to feel towards someone else’s life.

This is where para-social relationships come into place—through the use of social media, fans are given ultra personal ways to interact with celebrities causing them to believe that they’re connected to their idols despite the reality that it is a one-way relationship. These celebrities do not know you—and therefore, they owe you absolutely nothing in regard to their personal life. And so, I absolutely do not condone writing or tagging or demanding things from any real-life ship (ie. VLives, Twitters, fan meets, InstaLives, etc.) where one could be causing the human being distress or pressure. They are, at the end of the day, real people with real feelings and real lives—and we, as fans or spectators at best, are simply entitled to no components of their life.

I think there are instances that you can comment on a celebrity’s life and have it be a perfectly innocuous encounter. For example, it’s quite alright to appreciate and feel second-hand joy at seeing two people whom one respects and follows as a fan looking happy with their potential partners (as in the case of KM) or commenting supportively on a confirmed real-life couple’s Instagram photos (Justin and Hailey Bieber, Michelle and Barak Obama, Hyuna and E’Dawn, Cara Delevine and Ashley Benson, etc.). Feeling joy at seeing someone else happy or commenting something cute and chill on a real-life couple’s picture doesn’t cost anything nor does it harm anyone. But if you, as a fan, begin to demand things from said people if the real life couple breaks up (Justin Bieber-Selena Gomez, Cole Sprouse-Lili Reinhart, etc.) or you hate the real significant other after one half of a popular ship is revealed to be dating someone else (Zendaya-Tom Holland-anonymous girlfriend), that’s when you’ve got a real problem and you need to reassess what you’re doing. If you are going to ship a real-life ship, do it sensitively—don’t personally bother these people with your unsolicited advice and woes, they don’t care about your ships, they just want to live their lives.

Fetishization and Homophobia

Another deeply problematic that comes with the shipping territory is the fetishization.

There are, unfortunately, many fans that like the idea of a real ship right up until the point there’s a possibility where the members might actually be part of the LGBTQ community. It’s sexy and sensual, a “guilty pleasure”, to imagine the idea of gays, but the actual concept of homosexuality as a real part of someone’s identity is somehow unacceptable to many fans. This is definitely a problem in the Asian music industry.

While girls fawn over the boy-boy interactions on stage, these same young women are equally likely to be disgusted by the existence of actual homosexual men trying to celebrate their love on the streets—and the KPop industry feeds into this by via methods like encouraging fan service between members or the Pepero game.

This is deeply disheartening as there are, without doubt, LGBTQ members in this industry—we may not know them by name or face (aside from Holland), but they certainly do exist. And how sad is it to imagine that the closest to acceptance these human beings will ever attain for their sexual preferences is on stage for the gratification of fans who won’t even support them if they actually come out? If you only enjoy same-sex interactions on stage, feeling repulsion or deterrence in supporting a gay or lesbian idol based on their sexual preferences, you probably have some soul searching to do.

Another thing I’ve noticed is the tendency of same-sex shippers to modify a harmless interaction between members as they make jokes or innuendos that splatter a hue of raw sexual essence onto the moment—this is, in part, some fetishization. We should try to avoid this as gay men are trying to escape the sexualized view a large majority of people have about them.

And KMers are guilty of this—after all, sometimes when a boy says he wants to do his laundry, he really just wants to do his laundry.

So, this is something else to keep in mind.

General Homophobia

How many times have bloggers received comments about how X members can’t be gay or how if X is gay that the anon can’t be a fan of that person anymore? I’ve definitely read several too many in my time and these are all exemplifying comments of people who house internal homophobia.

Unfortunately, the need to explicitly state and prove homosexuality will always be a symptom of the heteronormativity of most societies—and I do understand why it happens and it’s not always a malicious assumption.

What I peacefully and regretfully do not understand are aggressive fans who flagrantly deny the possibility of any other sexuality aside from being straight—these instances really make me suspect these are mainly female fans that can’t stomach the possibility of their idols not being into their gender or are straight up homophobic without any other reason. (That being said, I also don’t encourage any same-sex shippers/supporters to make assumptions about sexualities either. It’s fine to support and to suspect the possibility of a same-sex relationship, but there should always be that margin for error since none of these idols are definitively out.)

Conclusion to General Shipping

TLDR; my basic point in the first part of this ridiculous essay is that, we should really all respect one another as members of a single fandom. And beyond that, we should all respect the people whom we are shipping, taking great care and using our sensibilities to ensure we aren’t making real people uncomfortable.

PART 2: KM

History as a Fan of BTS

So, I just want to clarify that I am a pre-debut BTS fan. I literally read about JM and JK a couple days before they were due to debut and as a huge hip-hop fan, I was immediately interested in their concept. I instantly fell in love with JM’s voice and JK’s multi-faceted talents (and live vocal skills)—that is to say, I was most interested in these two members from the very beginning. As of recent days, I have detached myself from the fandom, preferring to keep a great distance away due to the toxicity and negativity I’ve unfortunately been privy to as the fan base grows bigger and bigger—and it really does make me incredibly sad. I’ve always been into BTS for the music—they were what I listened to bussing up to school as I admired the Cyphers by the rap-line, the gorgeous fluidity of JM’s melodic voice, the deep resonance of TH’s voice, and JK’s talents as a quality, consistent singer despite his age.

And now, sometimes the ship wars and solo stans are louder than the positive members in this community. Luckily, I’ve found a small niche of BTS blogs and KM blogs that have made this experience a lot easier (for KM blogs, many thanks to people like blarhiv, slowlybutobvious-jikook, gaja-aegiya-gaja, chaotic-jikook, singwriteluv, jiminkoo, etc.)

Shipping as a Whole

Now, as for the shipping component. I want to clarify I’m a very selective real-person shipper—I don’t look for mere skin ship or overt proclamations of love or popularity of ship.

Of course, these are initially the easiest features to discern a shippable “ship”, but I’m well practiced in the KPop industry and know these factors between members are virtually useless in discerning romantic interest.

On top of being a selective shipper, I also think it’s safe to say I’m pretty respectful about shipping as I always try to maintain reasonable skepticism and I’ve never commented anything about shipping on any forum that could make the involved individual uncomfortable. With all that being said, the beginning of BTS, I did not see ANY SHIPS that I could’ve deemed suspicious enough to be considered real. They were all just young kids that were trying to pave their path to success and just boys messing around on their early television appearances whilst trying to promote their albums.

And even when YM and TK began to gain traction as the fandom’s decidedly largest ships with some believing them to be “real”, I still didn’t see it—and this is said with utmost respect to their closeness and respect for one another as teammates, colleagues, and close friends.

Undoubtedly, their interactions were playful and adorable, but there was nothing in how they interacted to rouse any suspicions whatsoever. I would view their interactions as commonplace as any other men in regular friendships—with their culture and their age and their jobs in consideration. Again, I never understood people who truly believed in the validity of these ships.

Now, to be fair, I have, of course, also participated in casually shipping a few members for fun too. For example, I thought Sope was cute and I was drawn to VM’s friendship as well—JM and TH were so ridiculously cute and close, it was nearly impossible not to casually ship them. In the earlier years, since I believed there to be no "real" ships, I was on board with other casual shippers but was greatly confused by those who believed the big three ships (YM, NJ, and TK) were actually real.

My View on Early KM

I first started tuning into KM when I saw a particular Bomb clip of JM and JK messing around with a phone app where their voices were autotuned. Whilst JM was laughing, JK just had his face crinkled up with the softest look on his face. I was like, “huh”—but it definitely wasn’t enough for me to begin thinking it could be real.

Since it was one isolated incident, caught directly on camera, it wasn’t nearly enough evidence to make any logical inferences. At that point, I’d just be jumping onto the train of delusion. While on the subject of early KM, I also want to take this opportunity to quickly give my take on this malicious narrative that JK doesn’t like JM—as a pre-debut fan, I’ve never bought into this.

Between JK’s self-proclaimed shyness towards JM’s unadulterated fondness for him, JK’s proclivities to drop honorifics on camera even from the beginning, JK telling JM he teases his hyung because he likes him—I was almost flabbergasted when I first caught inklings of it.

This is such an outrageous vilification and outright character assassination of a young kid in his teens who didn’t know how to deal with his hyung’s affections, despite having always confirmed and reassured JM that he does, in fact, like him.

The fact that so-called fans to this day still try to drive this narrative despite the fact that JK has set fire and gasoline to this toxic roller coaster ride of lies and delusions is actually unfathomable to me. Never mind the exact type of relationship KM have, it’s just so distinguishably clear that JK really, really likes JM judging by the amount of time they spend together and how beautiful JK’s smile is when he’s around JM.

The Shift

Essentially, I casually shipped Sope, VM, and KM at some point—they were my favourites to see interact and I was always cooing over how adorable their bonds were with one another. And if I’m being frank, I was especially partial to the latter two ships because of how attentive and caring JM is to his younger members.

JM’s kindness has always touched my heart.

I find JM’s interactions with people the most fascinating based off the fact that he is just an enthralling, ethereal human being with this gorgeous voice and enormous heart—and for that, he was my very favourite member always.

But, of course, I am a KM supporter.How did this happen?

Well, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head at the infamous back hug at 2015 KBS Music Festival—especially since it was JK being so unusually expressive and forward with his affection. But perhaps this was a cultural thing? I definitely felt some cognitive dissonance as I tried to explain the strange, almost romantic aura of the moment using logic despite sensing that this string of reasoning didn’t sit quite right with me. But again, one isolated incident is a whole lot of nothing in the world of skin ship and KPop.

But as we all know, at this point, we got see KM get closer and see their relationship develop and I was really all for it as I was incredibly pleased by that personal growth in JK as a maturing adult and the joy it conversely seemed to bring JM with this newly matured JK.

JK’s Development

A large part of my transition over from casual to serious “shipper” is actually because of JK. I’ve always viewed him as a talented individual, as aforementioned, but other than that there was certainly other larger personalities that caught my eye quicker—between JM’s big heart, JH’s enormous personality, and TH’s quirks, he was definitely quietly existing in the background when he wasn’t performing. But he really just grew into himself and I think any fan can see that.

There’s all the general ways he grew up, his physique and his facial structure and his height, but more than anything my heart softened immensely when I began to see what a beautiful soul this boy had always had. I’m not saying that he’s not without flaws—because another a huge problem in the industry is the fans’ tendency to idealize their idols past the mortal realm of making mistakes or having character flaws—but anyone can see he’s clearly matured.

The way he treats JM only gets better and better with each year.

And I genuinely don’t feel that it’s delusional to say the way that he treats JM is vastly different from any other member. He is kind-hearted with a dreamy view on the world and he’s good to his hyungs after everything they’ve done for him when he’d been a child, but he’s that in tenfold around JM. To say he doesn’t play favourites when JM’s involved is being willfully ignorant because there’re so many recent examples alone (the way he splashes water on SJ vs. JM, the way he roughhouses other members vs. JM, the way he gives JM a big pancake because of an impending punishment vs. SJ in same predicament, the attentive way he watches JM in interviews over other members, the way he monitors JM's health via food and drink, etc.).

I also want to mention as a disclaimer that these comparisons aren’t made in any type of malicious way or with the intent of discrediting relationships between JK and other members. It’s simply instrumental in understanding why such a large population of non-shippers have been drawn to KM as a potential real pairing versus any other pairing. If everyone stopped inserting their own captions and interpretations of JK’s actions and only had the source material in front of them, no misleading historical content to waylay new fans with a tired and counterfeit narrative, it’s pretty clear that JK displays incredible fondness and tenderness towards JM in a conspicuous manner.

It doesn’t make his relationships with the others any less, it just makes his relationship with JM just that little bit more. It’s not about putting down or undermining the other relationships, it’s just about acknowledging the reality of JK’s obvious magnetism towards JM. If a fan really cares for JK, it’s almost cruel to disregard the fact that his face lights up when he’s with JM (WeVerse picture, JM punching him on the shoulder, FaceTime picture, VLive, etc.) and his voice softens when he speaks to JM (Run episode with JK slating, Run episode playing palm game, Run episode asking JM if he’s ready, etc.).

These examples aren’t delusions, it’s reality—the evidence are quite literally in photographs or videos. As a longtime fan, I honestly and sincerely mean this—JK has become a handsome man in my eyes not because of his appearance (though he’s undeniably good-looking) but because of the way he treats JM and others he cares for. As the years pass by, his heart and soul has become more and more beautiful in my eyes. I can’t attribute it fully to JM, but I can certainly say that my heart melts when I see his interactions with JM—not because I am a shipper/supporter but because as an empathetic human, I am viscerally drawn to humans with kindness in their hearts. The man treats JM so, so well. I know I keep repeating this but it’s just a grave injustice to ignore how much JK cares for JM. Never mind your projected desires and your biases, just look at what’s in front of you and just appreciate that enviable, lovely bond. Even if people will choose to disregard romantic overtones in GCFt or the meaningful lyrics during the times JM shows up in GCFsai or the fact he has the most screen time overall (which is fine), it'd be prudent to at least acknowledge the fact that JM is incredibly treasured by this young man.

JMs Shift

Another thing that made me suspicious was the transition of JM’s behavior as well.

I find it harder to read JM than JK in many ways—perhaps it’s just an introvert relating with follow introvert—but there are differences in his behavior that also made me question things as well.

It’s obvious that JM used to be a little much for shy, introverted JK in front of the camera and that that behavior tapered off as the years went by. I do think a large part of it is due to JM growing up (although I do suspect some part might be due to vicious fans who might’ve hurt his feelings about his personality) and reigning himself in. But even then, he was still visibly touchy and affectionate with JK—just as he is with all his other members—whether he was petting his head, openly calling him cute, or what have you.

In my view, the most telling thing about JM is how careful he seems around JK—something in his behavior feels tailored in a way that’s still affectionate towards JK but in a way not to rouse suspicion even if the body and eyes don’t lie.

I’m not sure if it even makes sense, but I do sense a certain sense of caution about how JM treats JK in the public eye in comparison to JK who reliably wears his heart on his sleeve. He seems to be more aware of cameras and the public eye than JK does. It’s really hard to verbalize, but I’ve sensed a discernible change in how JM treats JK—it’s not bad or worrisome, it’s just different.(Although, they’ve gradually become a lot more carefree this year.)

Time Skip

I don’t want to bore everyone anymore than I already have, but the point of how I became a more serious supporter compared to my origins as a casual shipper is based off suspicious trends and continuous patterns in the boys’ behaviours over multiple years.

Even now, I continuously try to translate the boys’ body language, vocal tone (when speaking to each other vs. another member), facial expressions, and constant mentions of one another as a platonic demonstration of affection. And some interactions are pretty harmlessly adorable, just a little something to wet the lips of any casual shipper, but with the surmounting amount of moments it becomes really hard for even the most logical person not question the nature of their relationship.

KM and Ship Wars

Clearly, the progression of their relationship has been the target of incredible hatred and frustration on the parts of hostile members of other ships and it’s gotten to a point where they’ve resorted to subterfuge to try pilot a plane missing a wing—that is to say, they’re trying to keep an aircraft based on intentional mistranslations, vicious lies, and carefully crafted stories of events that have been disproven afloat.

The incredible discrepancy between what sorts of behavior can be categorically classified as fan service seems to conveniently shift based on whatever is keeping the fragile balance of their dreams alive despite evidence to the contrary.

The moment we try to discount or negate the relationships a member has with another one in the name of a ship, there’s absolutely a problem that needs reassessment—this goes for all fans including KMers.

KM and Coming Out

I want to clarify very firmly that if you are a true supporter of KM, one who selflessly wants their happiness above everything (which includes everything from the potential of KM having other significant others, KM being single, KM being involved in a fling, etc.), you absolutely do not want or need them to come out.

If they do come out, of their own choice and volition, you can happily support them, but you do not need or seek this from them.

And may I carefully remind people that if you want them to come out for the sole purpose of feeling vindicated against other shippers, you’re not a true supporter and you’re in this for selfish reasons. So, if you imagine your first instinct will be an outcry of “I told you so, I’m right” with the express purpose of throwing it in another ship’s face, please evaluate your role and incentive in being a KMer. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or if you’re wrong—all that matters are these incredible boys who inspire people on the daily are happy, healthy, and well. I honestly want their happiness and safety over a confirmation of a relationship any day and I really encourage all supporters to feel this way as well. In a conservative Asian society, it wouldn’t be easy to maneuver as an openly homosexual man. I implore you to consider the occurrences of hate crimes in more liberal countries. It’s not going to be an improvement, only likely to be a far more isolating experience, in a more traditional country with homophobic tendencies as the majority sentiment. So, while I know most reasonable supporters feel this way, this is a reminder to toxic shippers to stay in your lane and stop demanding things from other human beings that owe you nothing—they don’t owe you pictures of WeVerse, they don’t owe you selfies with one another on Twitter, and they don’t owe you a coming-out story to prove your ship right.

Conclusion

To sum up, I’m not saying that KM is real for sure.

No one can know that except their personnel, their friends, and their family—or sadly, in a conservative country, perhaps even just themselves. The point is, we as fans, absolutely cannot know for certain.

And this is mainly why I'm not too concerned or bothered about timelines or specific dates. We don't know and there's no point (for me) to delve this far into the realm of speculation. But to each their own as long as you're not being invasive to KM!

However, I’m not unconfident in saying that if they are not real, the likelihood of any other same-sex relationship in the band is highly unlikely—though not impossible.

I also want to reassure everyone that I love the bonds between all the members and encourage everyone to understand that even if you favour or don’t favour one member over another to realize that your opinion really doesn’t matter in comparison to how BTS feels about one another—they love one another.

And at the end of the day, shipping isn’t so important that we need to fight over it.

After all, if all we’re trying to do is support love, then shouldn’t we be doling it out to?

And with that, I’m out!

Thank you to anyone for reading and keep well and healthy everyone!

PS Thank you very much to Blarhiv to allowing me to use her blog as a platform! This very, very special individual we should all treasure in the KM community!!!❤️❤️❤️

(omg anonnie this is too cute тттт Thank YOU).

#jikook #Kookmin #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jimin #park jimin

242 notes · View notes

real-sotenbori-hours · 5 years

Text

Thistle - *Tachibana Tetsu x Fem Reader*

Summary: He runs a perilous business, which makes your yearning for him hazardous to you. Oh yeah, he's also your boss... but doesn't that make it all the more fun?

Warnings/themes: Angst, fluff, forbidden love, tension, frustration, passion

Notes: This was my first challenge, I very much enjoyed it! What was the most challenging part about it? Following the No Smut guideline, of course, because I'm a fucking fiend. So I think I'll probably definitely be following up with a filthy Part 2 because Tachibana Tetsu is a savory little morsel that does not get enough love or action and I will personally see to it that he does because he fucking deserves it.

Ahh, Tachibana Real Estate... your home away from home. A ball breaking, take-no-prisoners realty outfit that stops at nothing to attain what’s in its sights. You might not be one of the team’s heavy hitters, but you do the administrative grunt work. You’re the discs in the spine of this landholding monster, your effort and support allow it to move.

For a company that operates so heavily in the vein of intimidation, manipulation and mild forms of extortion, you really don’t mind the methods because its head, Tachibana Tetsu is a man of principle, honor and diligence. Ironic perhaps, but you see it as true opportunism and just plain business savvy.

Plus, you enjoy your work. You feel a special desire to assist your boss in any way necessary, no matter the lengths. The reason is simple: you’re a gaijin residing in Japan, making steady work difficult to come by at times. Or rather, jobs that befit you. Tachibana-san loved that you were a foreigner, as he himself was half-Chinese, half-Japanese. He understood all too well how challenging it could be to find your place in a city not of your origin, and he applauded anyone determined to make it work... as he did.

Being so appreciated by your boss, a man you admired greatly meant the absolute world to you. He made you feel whole, as a valued member of something. You cared about him and his well-being, considering that his health was a fragile thing, too. He knew that anytime he needed something, especially if of a sensitive nature, he could rely on you... and you on him.

To the untrained eye, it may look like the two of you were closer than professional or platonic. When he’d speak to you he’d smile warmly, keeping his eyes on you attentively, to the point that you’d melt like warm honey. If he’d sense that you’re troubled, he’d brush your face with his hand and assure you he’d be there to help you in any way you needed. He’d tap your hand with his, clothed in fine black leather, reminding you that you’re strong and capable of withstanding any adversity that came your way.

You truly, deeply loved him, more than you've ever loved any other man. You felt that he denied himself the potential of real happiness because of the tragedies of his past and the complexities of his present. He’s unflinchingly stoic. Irritatingly so. You wanted him to thrive, but you forced yourself to accept his decisions. The subject had been addressed, and the conclusion was exactly what you assumed: the feelings were mutual, but he couldn’t risk harm befalling you. He was convinced if your relationship deepened any further, you’d be in perpetual danger as he had quite the array of formidable enemies.

Of course that only made you want him more, but you knew he was right. Though you were willing to roll the dice, he refused to entertain it. He couldn’t stand the idea of anything happening to you, especially because of him. He cared too much for you to test it.

To get your mind off of him, you tried to date casually. One cold, rainy evening after a few drinks and a particularly rough date, you walked back up the street to the office to decompress. For a variety of reasons, you felt more comfortable there than anywhere else and you figured you’d take a nap on the couch, resting more peacefully than you do in your own home. As soon as you unlocked the door and slipped in, you noticed the foyer lamps were on as well as the faint splinter of light sneaking out of Tachibana’s office door, slightly ajar.

You tried so hard to be stealth and of course as soon as you told yourself to step lightly, you dropped your keys, shattering the silence around you, alarming Tachibana-san, cursing yourself.

Somehow, he knew it was you.

“Y/N-san?” He called to you from within his sprawling office. You hung your head, you must’ve disturbed him if he’s here this late. You didn’t want to track water all over the floors but even more so, you didn’t want to keep him waiting. You walk slowly to his doors, pressing the further one in with your fingertips and sigh, entering.

He’s standing with his back to you, facing the wall of windows. “Y/N-san, are you alright?”

You clumsily grab a chair and sit down, trying your best to conceal your intoxication. You sigh again, deeper this time, folding your hands in your lap. “Not really, Tachibana-san. But I’ll be fine. What about you, why are you here so late?”

He chuckles and turns on his heel, facing you from behind his desk. As he regards you, a look of concern instantly apprehends his beautiful face. “Y/N-san, you’re soaking.” He darts across his office to a wall of cabinets, retrieving a neatly folded stack of soft, white towels. Almost teleporting before you as he urgently presents them, imploring you to take care, he appraises your expression and that heartwarming smile peels across his face. “Did you walk in the rain?”

You take a towel to your hair, squeezing the loose droplets of water out of your tresses. “I was just up the street, I thought I’d go out for a bit.”

He steps closer, sensing your affect as less than content, draping a large towel around your shoulders. “Did you enjoy yourself?” He asks, hopefully.

You shake your head nonchalantly, “Not particularly, but so it goes..." Dabbing your clothing with the towel enveloping you, you hang it over the back of the chair and shrug, trying to shift the focus. "So, are you working late, Tachibana-san?”

He blinks long and hard. “You could call it that, sure.”

You sit up, “Can I help with anything?”

He smiles again... you swear, he looks like a fucking angel. “You can help me understand why you’re down, and why you’d come all the way back here after a disappointing evening...” he hands you the last dry towel and crosses his arms, examining you further.

And there you go... the way he shows you how much he cares about you, the way he tenderly furnishes you with any possible thing you could need, pressing you to confide in him, staring into your soul with such gentleness... the drinks loosened you up and his presence unzips you and you burst into tears.

“I didn’t feel like going home, being alone... I just wanted to be here...” Your breath keeps catching in your chest and you want more than anything to stop crying. Tachibana places a hand on your shoulder, gripping you reassuringly, “It’s okay, Y/N-san. Whatever makes you feel safest.”

He bends slightly further at his waist, meeting the distance of your stare, pulling you back into the light. “Please tell me what happened... what upset you? It hurts me to see you so sad.”

You bury your face in your hands, muffling your concession. “I went on a date and from the moment it started, I just wanted it to be over. I just can't do it. I try, but I just can’t...”

“Y/N-san, you’re a very beautiful woman; caring, sensitive... it will be a lucky man that finds you. Don’t—”

You can’t stand it. You won’t.

You leap up from your seat, livid, fists balled at your sides. “No, Tetsu... I can’t hear this from you. You’re breaking my heart.” You begin to sob uncontrollably, shaking. Hiding your face again, you whimper, “You know how much I love you... I can’t even see anyone, all I want is you.”

Tachibana wraps his arms around you, setting your heart and body ablaze, cupping the back of your head with one hand and your waist with the other. You immediately reciprocate his embrace, resting your cheek upon his shoulder, planting your hands on his chest, reveling in the physical contact... and then you push yourself free, irate once again.

You cross your arms, fully aware of the angry blush on your face as you glare at him, pouting like an adorably petulant child.

He continues to analyze you, somewhat stunned as a knowing smirk appears. “Ah... I see. And you’ve had a couple of drinks, so now you can tell me how you feel?”

Embarrassment begins to creep in. It’s time to go. You fold the towel closest to you, setting it atop the desk as you grab your bag. “I’d better go. I’m going to get some sleep.” As you turn away, he grabs your arm, pulling you to stand before him. He rests his gloved thumb on your chin, his fingers along your jawbone, he brings his other hand to frame your face as he searches your eyes, pained by your pain, sharing your hurt more than you knew.

“Y/N, we’ve discussed this. No matter how deeply I desire you, I cannot indulge you because it would be selfish for me to...”

He’s driving you nuts right now, and not in the good way. “Selfish?! What about MY desire?! If you want me as I want you, what’s selfish is denying me, as if I have no say...”

He grips both of your arms and looks longingly into your eyes, as if to drive his point home. “I could never endanger you for the sake of pleasure, Y/N-san. I’d be beside myself if anything ever—”

You shake your head violently. “If you don’t love me, then say it. I don’t just want pleasure, I want you, completely.”

His lips part, speechless. He narrows his eyes as he scans yours again, gripping your face with both hands. “How could you think I don’t love you? My heart stopped the moment I first saw you. I’ve loved you ever since. But I made a promise to you, Y/N-san. I promised I’d be there for you. If something terrible were to happen to you, how could I keep my word?”

“That’s no way to live. I can’t keep going through each day, pining for you, pretending that I’m not. It’s killing me. I want to be your woman. But this is too much, I can’t do this anymore... I... I have to go.” You’re sick at the thought of sealing your fate, of possibly leaving the building for the last time. But you made your bed, you said everything. You can’t go back on it now.

You turn towards the door once again, quickly closing the space as you reach for the handle.

Just as your fingers graze the knob, Tachibana’s hand whizzes past your peripheral, slamming the door shut. He grabs and turns you around, pinning you against it, clutching your face, finally crashing his lips to yours. Gripping your face with his gloved hand, pulling you in deeper. Ecstasy. Your lips roll and overlap, tongues immediately running along each other’s lengths, teeth scraping all surrounding skin... a kiss more passionate than every fantasy you’ve entertained. It went on, uninterrupted for minutes... and minutes.

He runs his hand from your face down your neck, over and along your chest, matching his other hand on your hips, grabbing you hard, deliberately, bringing you in so much closer, sealing it with another tight embrace. You twist your fingers into his sexy slicked back hair, something you’ve longed to do for too damn long. Your mouths would part for a second before you’d both feverishly reunite them, aching for more. You could do this for hours.

You grab his leather clad hand and bring it up to your neck, pressing down on his fingers, urging him to follow suit. He does, just for a second, then bites and sucks your bottom lip as consolation, pulling away.

He leans past you and reaches for the knob to the door. You straighten up, watching him intently, desperate to read his mind now that you’ve both reached a place from which there’s no return.

He can feel your anxiousness brewing and meets your eyes with a devious look in his. “Alright, Y/N-san, let’s get you home. I want to make sure you arrive... unscathed.” He runs his hand down your back, resting it just above the place where your legs meet.

Your excitement gets the best of you as you smugly reply, “Kissing me breaks the promise... remember?”

He laughs. God, you love it when he laughs.

Taking your hand in his and once again gripping your face with the other, he muses, “Y/N-san, I’ll keep my promise to you. I’ll be by your side. The promise I’ve broken is the one I made to myself when I hired you, that I’d put you to work and that I’d never cross the line. But I can live with it if you can. Now I want to take you home, and I’d like to stay with you tonight, if I may.”

Lightning courses through your body. You can’t believe this is finally going to happen. You pull his face down to yours again, kissing him deeper still, tugging on his hair, dragging him against you and breaking away as the passion swelled.

You eagerly lead the way, pulling the door open, turning to him and beaming as you give him your hand again, tightly interlacing your fingers, tingling. “Just you wait. You’ve no idea how good I’m gonna make you feel, Tetsu.”

#tachibana tetsu #tetsu tachibana #yakuza zero #yakuza fanfiction #yakuza fanfic #tachibana tetsu fanfic #tachibana tetsu x female reader #tachibana tetsu x you #tetsu tachibana x female reader #tetsu tachibana x you #tachibana tetsu fanfiction #tetsu tachibana fanfic #tetsu tachibana fanfiction #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku fanfic #ryu ga gotoku fanfiction #ryu ga gotoku zero #yakuza 0 #ryu ga gotoku 0

90 notes · View notes

dogbearinggifts · 6 years

Text

And Now, a PSA Regarding Abuse

I know this is different from the sort of stuff I usually post, but this has been on my mind for a while. As I’ve browsed certain fandoms on this site, I’ve stumbled across a common argument. One person, usually an abuse survivor, says they believe a character was abused, citing signs and personality traits that echo their own experiences. Another person, who was usually not abused, will say “No, they couldn’t have been abused,” and then cite one misconception or another.

And as an abuse survivor, it bothers me.

I know that in many cases, the character fans argue over is controversial to begin with. One that comes to mind is Draco Malfoy. Those who argue against the abused!Draco headcanon might have good intentions—in many cases I’ve seen, they feel as though fans in favor of the headcanon are trying to turn a racist asshole into some precious woobie—but the problem is that in doing so, they’re talking over actual abuse survivors. When they say “No, he couldn’t have been abused because no abused child would say ‘My father is going to hear about this!’” or “An abused child wouldn’t know that parents are supposed to protect their kids,” they’re discounting actual survivor stories and perpetuating the myth that there is only one correct response to abuse.

So, I’m going to address some common fallacies brought up in these types of arguments.

1. “They couldn’t have been abused. Their parents spoiled them rotten.”

My dad is a self-made man, the type who started at the very bottom of the ladder and worked his way up. As such, I enjoyed a childhood that became progressively more comfortable. I wore nice clothes, got a car on my eighteenth birthday (an old car, but it was still a gift I couldn’t have afforded on my own) and not only did my mom cook dinner at home every night, but when she learned I had food sensitivities, she began buying only organic and all-natural ingredients. When I wanted to paint my room purple at age 13, my dad took me to Home Depot to look at paint samples, then came home and painted my walls the exact shade I’d chosen.

This was thrown in my face at every turn.

If I ever disagreed with my parents, even over something trivial, or made a joke that they found offensive, I was treated to a tirade of verbal abuse beginning with a litany of all the things they did for me, how they never got such nice things at my age, and how ungrateful I was for them. These “lectures” usually ended with me in tears—not because I was a sensitive brat (as they claimed) but because they knew every one of my sore spots and pressed and pressed until I couldn’t take the pain.

2. “If they were abused, they wouldn’t know that parents are supposed to protect their kids.”

My parents treated me like shit. There’s no other word for it. I vividly recall one time when I did something that made my mom angry. I think I interrupted a lecture about my grades (I had a B in math, which was Absolutely Unacceptable to them) to say that I was trying as hard as I could and a B was the best I could do. She found my tone disrespectful (in reality, it was probably more desperate than disrespectful) and left me to my dad. I’ll never forget what he said:

“The way you treat your mom is like if some rich guy found a homeless man on the street, gave him food, new clothes, all the money in his bank account, signed over the deed to his house and gave him his car, then asked for a ride home—and the homeless guy said ‘Nope. Get your own ride.’”

That was normal, coming from my parents. It was normal for them to wound me as deeply as they could over trivial matters. And yet when my mom learned I was being bullied and the school was basically sweeping it under the rug, she was ready to rain down righteous fury on the entire administrative staff. She was livid. She treated me like garbage when I annoyed her, but when someone else hurt me, it was time for hellfire and brimstone.

3. “They’re too sassy/not sassy enough.”

This is a misconception I had, before talking with other survivors. See, in my household, compliance was the only way to survive. The only way to get through the day without being subjected to hours of verbal abuse was to do whatever my parents wanted, as soon as they wanted it done, and do it with the biggest smile I could muster. As a result, I internalized the abuse. For years, I thought that whenever my parents sat me down and railed about how selfish I was, it was because I really was a sinful, selfish brat.

As a result, Harry Potter’s sass toward the Dursleys struck me as unrealistic—because in my household, it was. Had I shown my parents half the sass Harry showed Petunia and Vernon, I would have been grounded for a year and verbally abused every morning before I went to school. Then I spoke to other survivors, whose situations were different from mine, and heard that “No, sass was how I survived.”

This brings me to….

4. “Their situation doesn’t read as abusive.”

There is no universal experience of abuse. As Leo Tolstoy once said, “Happy families are all alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

There are multiple forms of abuse—verbal, physical, emotional, psychological, sexual. Each one of these carries profoundly different psychological consequences, and these consequences are determined in part by the severity of the abuse, other circumstances in the home, role of the abuser, and the personality of the one being abused.

In other words, no two abuse survivors are alike. Two siblings can have the same parents and experience the abuse differently.

Which leads me to….

5. “They don’t act like an abuse survivor.”

Tom Card, Michael Westen’s former handler on the show Burn Notice, summed it up better than I could:

“Imagine that you're holding onto two bottles and they drop on the floor. What happens? They both break. But it's how they break that's important. Because, you see, while one bottle crumples into a pile of glass, the other shatters into a jagged-edged weapon. You see, the exact same environment that forged older brother into a warrior crushed baby brother. People just don't all break the same, Mrs. Westen. Just don't.”

The “environment” to which he refers here is a home with a violent, alcoholic father. Michael, the older brother and protagonist of the show, fought his dad at every turn, joined the military, and eventually the CIA. His younger brother, Nate, became a compliant people-pleaser, blaming himself for a string of failed relationships.

In conclusion: If you don’t think a character was abused, fine. That’s your opinion. But don’t talk over abuse survivors to get your point across. And do not, repeat, do not assume that a character who does not fit your preconceived notion of an abuse survivor was not abused.

Because people don’t all break the same way. They just don’t.

#abuse #tw abuse #cw abuse #survivor stories #and now for something completely different #just had to get this off my chest

3K notes · View notes

aqua-eros · 5 years

Text

MONSTA X astro notes: Lee Jooheon 🐝

Ladies, gents and non-binary friends, I welcome you once again on this beautiful day to take your time and appreciate the wonderful person that is the main rapper, composer and absolute cutie of Monsta X. Let's see what kind of stars guide the path of Lee Jooheon!

Sun in Libra

Looking at all personal placements as a whole, that will be discussed further on, I can say that his Libra energy is a lot more present and action-based (as it should be), especially as it's backed up by his strong mars. In a way, neither his mars nor other planets push away or cast shadows on his sun, aka ego, personality and individuality, but embrace the sun even more, let it shine and be known.

The core self of Jooheon is represented by the cardinal air sign of Libra, and as the combination suggests, it reflects the need for fairness, equality, objectivity and justice onto the man as well. As a result, such matters of law can be rather important to him, knowingly or not. Of course, fairness or lack of it is a trigger for many people and signs, but it comes from a very personal place for Libras.

this may result in him being secretly/openly petty for certain reasons, most likely associated with justice or lack of it. if someone isn't being honest or fair with him, that's not something he'll easily forget. forgive? probably. forget? no, sir

would not tolerate lack of manners, impoliteness, unreasonable rudeness towards him or other people. such behavior is simply illogical to him when not backed up by rational motives

fashion sense? on point🛍

I bet it stings his ego every time someone tries to scare him lmao, for he is a known scaredy cat

may be somewhat quick to judge a book by it's cover, even if he's keeping it to himself. but being so observant and good at understanding people, he can't help it, he will instantly know (or not) who he's dealing with

charming💎

knows how to appeal to others, how to attract and make them fall for whatever his motives or plans are. knows how to work with people and how to work them, so to speak. this can be both good and bad, but also just a way of survival

harmony is often the main goal of libra placements, therefore a lack of it throws them off, as well as their balance. it's an eye for an eye, yin and yang, and if that isn't the reality of things... well, there's no telling what could happen. keep in mind that we're talking about an air sign, and half of the time air-influenced individuals don't really know what to expect of themselves

Speaking of air, Libra placements are known to possess certain duality to their personality, for it may be hard to grasp who they really are on a regular basis. Sure, they have their own beliefs and ideals, yet they are fantastic at adapting themselves to other people, situations and environments. Some, usually wrongly, accuse such behavior of being shallow, indecisive, fake, yet it is Libra placements that know exactly how to act and what to say in order to get what they want. They take action to achieve their goals, and they have all the charm, social skills and creativity to win over anyone's heart. After all, it's hard to resist a venusian sign like that🌹 He lives up to his nickname, Joo-honey, for he is too sweet to ignore.

i'm sure every fan knows how much duality is present in Jooheon, for he can change character in a matter of seconds and not even bat an eye. from rebel to sweetheart, from sinner to the most innocent, you name it, he can do it all and leave you stunned each and every time

Libra Moon

More Libra energy!🌙 Having this air sign in the moon, a planet of emotions, feelings, instincts and comfort, provides for quite the peaceful, patient, cooperative and socially-oriented individual.

While there is definitely a rebel living inside of Jooheon, he is able to tone that fire down at least for a moment and display great skills of diplomacy, open-mindness and communication, for it is in his nature to get closer to people, form various relationships and bonds, explore them from every corner. He has great understanding of human nature, therefore enjoys finding out as much information as possible about the people he interacts with, relate to it, filter it in order to connect to a person as much as he can. This can grow into a natural gift of negotiation, observation, wider perception of the world and a fair, level-headed mind. Libra moons are good at listening and providing objective points of view in a situation that seems too emotionally heavy or subjective.

The paradox, often founded with Libra moon individuals, is their wish to avoid conflict and keep an emotionally balanced environment and relationships with people, yet somehow, they keep attracting that same conflict, arguments and misunderstandings into their lives unintentionally. It is possible that during these instances, Libras tend to mask their feelings too much and reflect on what others want from them too often, which is, sooner or later, perceived as something fake. Libras might even lose themselves in the process of dealing with others, seeing as no one appreciates their attempts in relating to others, keeping things surface-leveled and comfortable.

Such occurences take a huge toll on their mental and emotional stability, challenging them in ways they do not appreciate. At the same time, it is oftentimes relationships with other people that hold the many life lessons that Libra moons need to learn and accept throughout life. Such instances are even harder when lunar Libras keep ignoring their own feelings and needs for other people, bending down to please or being too accepting and understanding. Sooner or later, the glass becomes full and can break any moment. When that happens, the sharp pieces of glass will cut through anything in their way, as they shatter all around the place. Just like that, Jooheon may have his moments of sudden and intense emotions that hit him like a train, piercing his heart with unpleasant memories, experiences, silenced words and unhealed wounds. And usually, others get really taken aback from such uncalled behavior from someone who seeks peace, meaning that the bad Libra qualities can show themselves, such as detachment, coldness, shallowness, verbal attacks, along with all of the truth a Libra has observed and can't wait to expose about you. This is a cardinal air sign, and as much as they are kind and considerate, they see and know things you don't want to hear. Ever.

For Jooheon, it's important to be honest with himself, his emotions, experiences and naturally, other people. In order to keep the water balanced and even in the glass, he must steady the waves and stabilize the many quakes within him before the water can become calm again.

Scorpio Mercury

In addition to his already very perceptive sun and moon, his mercury provides an incredibly intelligent mind and sharp eye for understanding others' actions, words and motives. In fact, he craves receiving as much information as possible, especially the one that is hidden, secret and full of mysteries. You can barely hide anything from him, for he sees it all, in ways that you may not even suspect.

always thinks of what things he should/should not reveal about himself, therefore you probably won't get a lot from him unless he actually wants to open up. it's a very big step for Scorpio mercury people to open up about their genuine thoughts and feelings, so by doing that they might be overcoming themselves, in a way, showing that they are willing to trust you with their soul

no wonder Jooheon's rapping style and lyrics hit you like bullets. He has a clever mind, plenty observational skills and a wish to speak up about things that are not okay or not discussed enough. And when he pulls you into his spell, he shoots sharply and quickly, leaving the darkest stains behind

thus, on a certain level, his rapping can feel provocative. like an attack. a callout. a statement

has an opinion. a lot of opinions, actually, but will reveal the truth only in the right time and place

mischevious and playful, but his ways are not light-hearted. his interaction with others can seem confrontational

sarcastic💣

as much as he is an enigma, he also yearns for deep connections, therefore you might even catch him wishing to open up more often than wanting to hide

Venus in Scorpio

oof🌌

add his venusian loveliness and charm to his marsian/plutonian magnetism and strength and you have one powerful individual

the definition of alluring. doesn't matter if you want it or not, you're already caught in his web and you probably like it, even if it's a bit uncomfortable🕸

Jooheon is most likely private about his personal life or anything, really, which only sparks more interest in people

intriguing. you don't know what to expect from him next but you like the suspense, the mystery, the unknown

every venus sign is attractive in their own way, and Scorpio venus is attractive because of their confidence and intensity. first inpressions are strong and unforgettable with this placement

that intensity stems from the all or nothing attitude towards life, and it's taken very seriously

another thing is Scorpio's natural caution and sensitive instincts. they take their time to adjust themselves to new environments, as well as getting to know people. their defensiveness and sensitivity are spreaded deep withing them like roots, and they'll be damned if they ever show vulnerability. if they do though, it means they trust you with everything they have

which brings me to this: do not break their trust. one way or another, you will regret ever messing with a Scorpio placement. they don't easily forget or forgive

likes getting close, physical and touchy. maybe even too close sometimes⚡

driven, passionate and posessive lover. in fact, the intensity goes beyond love and touches on all things venus: art, friendships, material things, even beauty

ultimately, emotions rule over his body and mind, therefore he acts according to what he feels, no matter how suddenly or thought out🌊

Leo Mars

you think his Scorpio venus is confident? WELL let me tell you this: his Leo mars excels in that field

in any situation, no matter how loud or quiet Jooheon remains, he's always one of the most noticeable in the room. his aura shines and the attention comes naturally to him, which, btw, he absolutely loves and craves. Leo placements often live for the spotlight and won't be satisfied with a lack of it

hella creative and expressive of his emotions and intentions. sometimes a bit too dramatic or over exaggerating

can be easily offended at times, he's pretty sensitive

the whole world is his stage and he is the biggest star of the show called "life"

goofy, funny and playful🎈but also loud, bold and demanding

C H A R I S M A T I C, another reason why his first impressions are not easily forgotten. his presence is strong, his confidence is obvious, and his goal? is to dominate the scene and ultimately, win, either the competition or your heart🔥

passion is the fuel to his actions and he cannot function properly without it. there needs to be a constant goal he can pursue or do what he loves the most and because of that, grow as a person. his inner fire should never be put out, it is crucial for his survival and well-being

a true performer and skilled entertainer, born to fascinate and capture audiences🎭

prideful🗻

being recognised for his efforts is very important to him, on a much deeper level

as much as he might enjoy fulfilling his own needs and feeding his desires, Leos are also notoriously kind, generous and supportive to their loved ones. they love inspiring and boosting others self-esteem, so any obstacles and difficulties could be overcome even by the most insecure. they are wonderful motivators with insanely big hearts💝

That is all, folks! Thank you for stopping by💕🌟 and check out my other posts with Hyungwon, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Shownu and Wonho. As always, these are made for fun and should not be taken too seriously.

See you next time for the last, but never the least, post about I.M⚡

17 notes · View notes

minijenn · 6 years

Text

Necessary Separation

A sequel to Tearing Me Apart

“Wait, what do you mean we can’t fuse anymore?” Dipper asked Garnet, who was rather confused about the fusion’s sudden request.

It had been about a day since Garnet had that terrible experience with Bill. The Gem leader was completely shaken after that and had to spend the first few hours recuperating her mind and body. While she wasn’t going to physically spit apart, there still was a rather noticeable divide between Ruby and Sapphire in her mind. After she felt like she was in control again, Garnet then had to confront the tough decision she would have to make. Mabel and Connie were occupied with something else in town, so Garnet summoned both Dipper and Steven to the Temple and sat them both down on the couch right under the loft.

“What I mean,” the fusion calmly stated. “Is that I feel that you two should avoid fusing; at least for the time being.” Garnet had been regretting to have this talk with the boys. Fusion was very sensitive subject her, seeing how it almost created a huge schism between the Crystal Gems just a few weeks ago. However, Garnet knew that this was something that could neither be avoided or ignored.

Steven was silent for a few moments, but decided to speak his mind on this request. “B-but I thought you liked Stepper? You seemed to be so proud of us when we finally found the harmony.”

“No!” Garnet quickly corrected her protégé. “I was proud, I AM proud that both of you could fuse and achieve harmony!” The fusion was clearly struggling with how to go about this issue. “I just think that…maybe it would be best if Stepper would take a back seat, with everything that has happened these past few weeks.”

“So why aren’t Mabel and Connie here too?” Dipper asked. “Shouldn’t you also be telling them that they can’t form Maven or Stevonnie either? Or is it just us for some reason?” Garnet replied simply with just a tired sigh. Dipper’s inquisitive nature was both his best and most aggravating trait in her opinion. She was expecting some resistance from the boys, but that didn’t mean she was ready for it.

Dipper was starting to become frustrated by this. He really thought that the Gems were truly honest and supportive of him and the rest of the kids by now. He had proven to them time and time again over the summer that they were more than capable of handling everything that had been thrown at them. Now here he was, being told that he suddenly couldn’t do something that had earned high praise from the Gem leader. Before he could protest further, Steven interrupted again.

“Garnet,” Steven gently asked, “Did you see something in the future? Something….bad happening to Stepper?” While Steven absolutely loved all the fusions that he could achieve with his closest friends, he still didn’t want to see them get hurt from something only he could be responsible for.

Garnet was inwardly grateful that Steven could move the conversation forward when she couldn’t. “Yes Steven, I believe Stepper might be put into grave danger. My future vision was fuzzy, but it did reveal something about Stepper that…worried me. That’s why I believe you should avoid forming Stepper, so that we could prevent something like that from happening.” Garnet had to use these euphemisms carefully here, so that she wouldn’t completely scare the boys like the last time she told them about her clairvoyant ability.

This was enough to reassure Steven on this whole situation. The last thing he’d want to do would be to put his closest friends in harm’s way, like he had multiple times this summer. However, Dipper was not as easily satisfied. While it was true that he was wary and honestly uncomfortable with fusion at first, the boy learned both the pros and the cons of fusion. He became proud that he was able to experience such a difficult and unique ability that only two other humans could share with the young Gem.

“W-well, what if you’re wrong?” Dipper blurted out, much to both Garnet and Steven’s surprise. Dipper then realize what he just implied and hurried to explain himself. “I mean, future vision has been wrong before, right? You couldn’t see the stuff about the portal or Great Uncle Ford. Maybe this is another slip up, can’t that be right?”

Now Garnet was started to become a bit annoyed. “Those were completely different circumstances, Dipper. Circumstances that I am still trying to figure out for myself. But this time, I know that this is for real. I know that this is real and can be potentially dangerous if ignore.”

“Oh, so you’re suddenly able to suddenly able to tell which visions are real and which ones are not?!” Dipper started to argue with the fusion. “Because to me, it sounds like you’re just taking random guesses at this point! What danger is exactly threating Stepper? Bill? Homeworld? Why won’t you tell us?!”

Garnet truly wanted to tell the boys exactly what happened. She wanted to tell them that Bill visited her and proceeded to torment Ruby and Sapphire and then threated to hurt Stepper. But if she told them, they would constantly be in fear and looking over their shoulders. They would know that it was really her that inspired Bill to target the boys like this in the first place. She couldn’t have that on her conscious, she just wanted them to trust her so that she could keep them safe. “I….don’t know,” she solemnly, much to Dipper’s continued aggravation. “it’s hard to make out.”

Steven started to notice things were spiraling out of control, so tried his best to lower the tension. “Dipper, maybe we should take Garnet’s advice on this? I mean, what if she-“ before the young Gem could finish, Dipper then stood up and snapped at him. “No Steven, I’m not letting this go! Why are you so calm about this?! Why aren’t you taking my side?! Don’t you like being Stepper, don’t you like fusing with me?” Steven immediately felt guilty and tried to defend himself. “No! It’s not that, Dipper. Of course I love being Stepper with you! It’s just that-“

“Enough.” Garnet firmly stated. The Gem leader didn’t want it to come to this, but enough was enough. Steven and Dipper needed to understand what she was doing was for their best interest. If she had to be uncharacteristic hard towards the kids to protect them, she would do just that. “The point of the matter is that I saw something that I didn’t like! Something that could lead to some very bad consequences if ignored. Even if there is just a small chance of that happening, we still need to take measures to prevent it. Even if it means that I have to put my foot down and-“

“And what, forbid us from fusing?! Like Homeworld?!” Dipper suddenly cried out. He was so focused and upset that he didn’t even notice Garnet’s hands tighten up into fists and started shaking. “Isn’t that what Ruby and Sapphire did back then?! They fused ever though Homeworld forbade it! They knew that they would be shattered for it, but they did it anyway because they knew that there was nothing wrong with it! So where do YOU get off saying that me and Steven can’t fuse for the same reason?! If you forbid us fusing, you’d be no different from Homeworld! YOU’D BE JUST LIKE THE DIAMONDS!”

“ENOUGH!” Garnet had finally had enough and slammed her fist on the small table that was in between her and the boys. Even though she wasn’t wearing her gauntlets, she was easily able to shatter the piece of furniture into tiny pieces. What followed was a dreaded silence that seemed to suffocate the room in both awkwardness and despair.

Garnet immediately felt regret over her unnecessary outburst and seeing the boys as a result. Steven looked scared and concerned, a sight that made the fusion’s heart ache even more. Dipper was just glaring at the floor, but she could tell that he felt some regret to what he said. This was exactly what Garnet dreaded about this talk. How could she just tell the boys to not to fuse? The very thing that made Garnet who she was and what she stood for. She was so proud when she met Stevonnie, and grew even more proud when she met Maven and Stepper. And now here she was, doing the exact same thing that she ran away from Homeworld. She needed to make this right, before it was too late. Garnet kneeled to the ground so that she was on Steven and Dipper’s eye level.

“Dipper.” She said gently. Dipper reluctantly looked up only to see that the Gem leader had removed her shades to reveal her three saddening eyes. Dipper knew that this was a sign that she was serious, so he decided to let her speak. Steven also walked next to Dipper so that he could hear what the fusion had to say as well. “Before you and Mabel arrived here in Gravity Falls, Steven was the center of our world. Rose might have left me, Amethyst and Pearl, but she left behind something that, arguably, brought us even more joy than we could ever ask for.” She gestured towards Steven, who had tears welling up in his eyes from his caretaker’s sweet words.

Garnet then looked back to Dipper. “We thought that only Steven would be able to touch our hearts like that. But then you two came along. You and Mabel showed us time and time again that you both had more heart, determination and bravery than most humans that we’ve known. In time, we couldn’t help but feel attached to the both of you; like you became a part of our crazy world but we enjoyed your presence anyway.

Dipper could only stare at the fusion in awe. He could tell that she meant every word that she was telling him. “L-like family?” he could only mutter. The fusion gave him a small smile that had admittedly made him feel much better than how this conversation had started.

“You could certainly put it like that.” She told him. “Ask Amethyst, Pearl, Lapis and even Peridot and they’ll tell you the very same thing. We’re all so proud of you and Mabel, and it puts us at unease when both of you are in danger.” Dipper was starting to feel a few tears in his eyes now. At the beginning of the summer, he thought the Gems only thought of him and his sister as mere annoyances that deserved to stay in the dark forever. But he was smarter than that. He learned that the Gems really did care for them both and really tried to be as honest as they could with them.

Dipper knew that Garnet was telling him the absolute truth, but he still felt like he was giving up something extremely important to him. “But what about Stepper? When I finally found the harmony with Steven, it felt…so good. Like I was still there, but it was also like I was somebody…better.”

“And that’s exactly what it’s suppose to feel like.” Garnet reassured him. “However, these visions of the future give me a really bad feeling. I actually frights me to the very core. If something were to happen to Stepper…the Gems and I would be devastated. Not just because that we would lose Steven…..but that we would lose you as well.”

Garnet then embraced the boys in a tight hug. Steven, Connie and the twins as well were the light of her life and she would bet her gemstones that the other Gems felt the same way. Steven was letting a few tears escape from his eyes during the hug. The young Gem shared the exact same sentiment that Garnet had for the twins. After all they’ve been through together, Steven definitely considered the twins like family and was not afraid to admit it. Dipper was feeling very conflicted at the moment. He still felt like he was feeling betrayed that the fusion would forbid something he held so special, but he still returned the hug from Garnet’s beautiful words.

When they separated from the hug. Dipper still looked rather sad, for he knew that Garnet still hadn’t changed her mind about Stepper. “Come on Steven,” the boy said rather solemnly. “Let’s go find Mabel and Connie.” Dipper then walked out the front door, no doubt thinking over what his next course of action would be. Steven looked to his caretaker, who simply gave him a small nod. That’s all Steven needed as he rushed out the door for Dipper, knowing that the boy would definitely need the young Gem’s support at this time.

The Gem leader was alone now and gave just a long sigh. She looked to the two gemstones that were in her palms just like she did yesterday. “Why does it have to be this way?” she muttered to herself. There was only a brief pause before she answered her own question. “Because it’s the only way to keep them safe.” She said in a calm tone.

Bill Cipher had made the fusion do something that defied her very existence: forbid fusion. It made sick to her very core and wanted nothing but make the dream demon pay for what he did to her. For now though, she had to believe that what she did was the best way to protect Steven and Dipper.

She just hoped that she wasn’t too late.

#universe falls #sumbission #submission #UF fan fics #AUGSDIAUSGEIKQWEB #FUCK #OUCH MY HEART THIS HURT IT SO GOOD #DAMN #EXCELLENT WORK #PROBLEM IS #STEPPER WOULD STILL BE FORMED IN RIFTS BECAUSE OF EXTREME CIRCUMSTANCES THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN WITHOUT MAJOR SPOILERS #BUT AUGH THIS WOULD MAKE IT SO MUCH WORSE #ESPECIALLY FOR GARNET LIKE DAMN #FUCK THE ANGST IS KILLING ME I LOVE IT #blazer's oneshots

13 notes · View notes

matingsaliva-blog · 6 years

Text

If Anything Happens to me, Know that I Still Care About You Deeply

We’re going to the grocery store. I haven’t felt good for the past day and a half because I took pills on an empty stomach and driving around the sickening back roads of Philly have been giving me a headache. I don’t want to tell you so I just say that Lincoln Drive is making me dizzy and you pretend to understand. I don’t want to talk about it so this answer comes as a huge relief. I’m nauseous I tell you. I only tell you that because I’m afraid my insides may explode and I don’t want to throw up in your car because that has never been a good impression no matter how many times someone says it’s okay. This isn’t the end of the world. But to me, it is.

I feel bad and I can tell you genuinely care about my well-being, which sort of annoys me. I change the subject again. My face is plastered to the window and the frozen winter dew is outlining a really abstract rendition of my face. I get self conscious that even this amorphous natural phenomenon has chosen to distort what little pride I have in my looks. I am a silhouette of dripping window droplets. I say they should repave the roads. I think you’re annoyed that I don’t particularly say that to anyone and certainly without conviction. You notice things like that. You think that I should have a world’s worth of captivating and contributing thoughts when I speak into the void. It’s an observation and I have to internalize the loss. You agree. You say it without much substance, probably to mirror me. Obviously it has never occurred to you.

We pass the road where my dad used to work. I point out the factory. It is across from Laurel Hill Cemetery. For some reason I imagine him on the factory belt line taking specimens of ink and saying “Yes, this ink is good. Thanks team” but part of me thinks that he wasn’t that team-centric or even well-mannered. But he was liked, very much, from what I know. I wonder if he ever wandered over to the cemetery or at least just appreciated that it was there. Maybe he should have been buried here.

I’ve sat there listening to commercial trains screech their way through long expanses of suspended bridges over highways at this spot. I wonder if he heard this too. It was so loud. But not just loud in a way that you can ignore, it was invasive and I bet he blocked it out over the 40 years that he had worked there. Clocking out as a greasy, rail-thin but respected man as the trains rubbed their metal against the tracks. I admire that.

I say they should really repair these roads, again, to engage you. We’re hitting potholes and bumps which is hard to continuously ignore. You agree. Again. I don’t know how I want this conversation to go. I think about bringing up a memory of my dad but every time that I do, nobody knows how to act. They want to dress me in sympathy and say sorry and I want to tell them that it’s been a very long time. It’s fine. Time will tell how it has cured or destroyed me but that will come at various and uncomfortable times and I want you to be prepared. So I say nothing. You look at it as the stark and surgical demeanor I’ve chosen for you to glimpse into and that’s all that I can give to you. It isn’t suppressed, I just don’t have time for it. Not now. But people pry, they want to pluck me and remove it from me because they think I live with it in an extreme way. Actually, the day-to-day is a lot harder, in all honestly. I keep this to myself, too.

Later when I get to know you, I’ll relay that this this is okay to joke about. My biggest fear is that my sadness cannot become a joke that I can laugh about. It just takes time to get there. I need to stand perched above it all like an orator and decide which pieces are okay and most of the time anything goes, (unless it’s about how I don’t deserve to be loved because I have too many problems that one singular person cannot handle on their own.) This might concern you a little bit, given the context. We talked about my life insurance policy while we were driving one night and I laughed and said that I probably don’t have much of a chance. I said something like “at this point, they probably won’t cover me or it’ll at least be very expensive given my inability to want to stay alive.” I’m not responsible enough to even think about that yet and you tell me that your parents set yours up with their disposable income and as much as my family loves me, there’s definitely a line.

You laughed shyly when I said this and I told you it was okay. I made a really dark joke the other night and you laughed uncomfortably, again, but that’s all I could have hoped for. You let it be and chalked it up to one of my many social misfires that you’ve chosen to find endearing right now. Because you like me and I’m pretty and i try very hard to be functional around you. You said that it’s funny how I compose this dark and morose life as a protective blanket so that I have something to fall back on, but that I seem happy most of the time. I laughed this time. If i even begin to argue this point, i will sound like a 13-year old goth kid pissed off at my parents for not dropping me off at the mall on a Friday night. I guess that’s a privilege, or I should be more of an absolute garbage crying child so that you see my true self catapulting toward legitimate moments of truly wanting to die. I like you though, but I can live without you. I shatter inside and my heart-to-brain artery sort of stops functioning.

We’re almost at the store. I know that I don’t really want to go in. I’m holding my head in my hands and I’m smiling at the funny things you say because I know you’re checking. You need instant gratification and I don’t mind. I have to remind myself that you’re doing me a favor and that i should be grateful. I have to relearn these emotions, I need to feel them rather than acknowledge that they exist. I ask you if it’s okay if i stay in the car, I have to make a phone call. You say absolutely. You leave and I open the notes in my phone

1. Buy more things that excentuate my tits 2. Collect decorative boxes 3. Buy apple butter from Whole Foods 4. The abcs of socialism? 5. Bankfujzzy (idk what that means) 6. Pink silk ribbon 7. The Girl with Curious Hair by David Foster Wallace 8. An objectively shitty poem 9. A thought “You could have hung out with jocks in high school but you chose art instead and that made you a very sensitive girl.”

Theres nothing of value in these lists. I know you’ll take your time in the store because you have to check all of the food labels. I have time to kill. I will make up a fake conversation in a few minutes about how my nephew was being a dick and my mom called me because she was upset. This will validate my extreme adversity to entering public places. I lean back in the seat and close my eyes. I can feel my eyes water and the eyeliner forming drops in my cornea. I close my eyes and let it flow out. Everyone says my eyes are red all the time anyway. I am going for the Sky Ferrieira look but without all of the other shit. They’re flowering. It’s okay.

“Remember when you drinking whiskey and you told me that I had said the nicest thing to you that anyone had ever said to you?” “Vaguely.” “You were talking about poetry. I told you that you seem really happy, your demeanor changes. When you talk about things that you’re passionate about, it makes me happy. I could listen to you talk for hours. “Yeah that’s still the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” “I thought you said it because you were drunk.”

My hair is so greasy I can feel the grime burning my eyes and yet I feel considerably fine just knowing I have a very nominal control over it in the privacy of my own home. Sometimes the smells let me know that my body has had experiences and I embrace that I moved through it without dwelling on my self worth. I drop into puddles of reflections of me. When I’m compartmentalizing. There will be a debate if any of this is really worth fixing. And I will respect your decision. Always.

0 notes

tortuga-aak · 7 years

Text

19 unwritten restaurant rules you should avoid breaking

The INSIDER Summary: Don't be that couple that aggressively starts making out in the restaurant. If you're kid is throwing a tantrum, chances are you're ruining other guests' dining experience. Whether you're dining among Michelin stars or 5 feet away from a rustic handcrafted backgammon set at a Cracker Barrel, it's a combo of common courtesy and modest respect for unspoken social contracts that keeps our collective dining culture intact. As Cracker Barrel Founder Dan Evins himself once famously quipped, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."

Actually, that might have been Emily Post.

At any rate, after weeks of deliberation, presented are the 19 unwritten rules of dining in restaurants... except, I guess now they are actually written. So, this is kind of embarrassing. Look, maybe you should just go ahead and start reading the list. And remember before you comment: Judge not lest ye be judged even harder, OK?

Shutterstock

1. Know the difference between a server and a busboy

A busser's job is best described as "overall mucky." Which is to say, not good. And while they attempt to drag a bus bucket filled with lobster guts and soiled napkins back to the kitchen, they don't need the added weight of some slack-jawed sweater jackal grabbing them by the elbow and starting to ramble off an order. This is pretty much the most "dad" thing you can do at a restaurant -- aside from replying, "It's OK, so am I," when the server warns that your incoming plate might be too hot to handle.

2. Never snap your fingers at a server. Or busboy. Or anyone.

Unless you're choking, trying to wake someone up, or thoroughly enjoying a new bossa nova-themed Cuban fusion concept, there is absolutely no excuse for snapping your fingers at anyone or anything in a restaurant setting. But normally, it's No. 1 on "shit that pisses servers off," so this is as much an unwritten rule as an outright warning. Simply put: If you do it, you might be asking for a loogie glaze on your creme brulee. Also, if you're choking, just use the international hand symbol or hope there's an imposter British nanny around.

Shutterstock

3. Respect your reservation time

If you are more than 15 minutes late on your reservation, there is absolutely no room to get indignant if a restaurant gives your table away. Ninety-five percent of Americans own mobile phones (so, you can give them a heads up, en route), and 100% of Americans who are cognizant enough to plan ahead and make reservations should be able to follow through on this very-much-so important social contract. Ghosting on your res is even worse, and a cardinal sin in the service industry: It really screws things up for everyone. Just call them! Even made-up excuses will suffice. Tell them either: A) Your sister is giving birth (!) or B) Your date has diarrhea. Either way, they won't ask anymore questions.

4. You can't treat wait times as an exact science

There's a reason why every host/hostess ever will immediately precede their estimated wait time with a hard "umm, about... " There's no way to know exactly how long it will take Great Aunt Linda to polish off her lima beans. Not even Great Aunt Linda really knows. And "about 10-15 minutes" can easily turn into 45. It's simply one of the many inconvenient truths of dining out. Remember: Patience is a virtue, and yelling at restaurant employees is a one-way ticket to never getting a table. And if you are truly too important to even waste a few minutes on a lagging restaurant, there's an app for that, naturally. Luckily, many restaurants have long-implemented a "hold this buzzer-thing till it flashes red" system to give diners-in-waiting a slice of hope to literally hold onto.

Shutterstock

5. Don't be that couple that sits in the same side of an otherwise empty booth

A restaurant is not a venue for your performative cuteness. What's the endgame here? Under-the-table hand-holding? Lady and the Tramp-ing your way through a plate of pasta? You're weirding out the entire establishment, and, as Steve Carell knows, subjecting yourself to cripplingly weird neck angles.

6. Definitely don't be that couple that sits in the same side of a booth and starts aggressively making out

Because it's really not the appropriate venue. Though if you DO witness such a happening, don't make it worse by making a scene, like this lady. It's SO much worse to be that lady. Just snicker about it quietly and talk about them later like a normal person.

7. A communal table is not an invitation to make new friends

While the virtues of "communal seating" (and its slightly less annoying cousin, the super-close table arrangement) are still up in the air, one thing is certain: Group and/or tight seating means you'll be eating uncomfortably close to other people. But there's a big difference between eating next to someone and with someone. Exchanging pleasantries with the stranger you happen to be rubbing elbows with is fine... and maybe even courteous. Acting like you're at the kids table at grandma's can interrupt other diners' experiences. The whole point of going out to restaurants is to be around people without actually having to interact with them, right? Read the room. Be aware of your surroundings. And for God's sake, never broach a private convo with "I couldn't help but overhear you, but... "

Shutterstock

8. If your phone is distracting other tables, it's a problem

It's 2017, and complaining about people Instagramming their food and other conventional mid-meal smartphone uses reached "old man yells at cloud" status a long time ago. That said, if your flash is popping off repeatedly in a darkened restaurant, your 15-person birthday dinner is pausing mid-meal to take 150 different variations of a group photo on 12 different phones, or your conversation with your sister about her thyroid problem is grabbing the attention of wide swaths of the restaurant, well, maybe you're a cloud who deserves to be yelled at.

9. If your kids are distracting other tables, you're a problem

Kids and restaurants are way too varied to make a one-size-fits-all proclamation as to whether or not they ought to be present -- that's up to individual restaurants. But if precious little Braxton throws a category-five tantrum and you haven't whisked him outside in the first 30 seconds, you're making him everyone's problem. And if that's a regular occurrence with Braxton, maybe wait a few years before making Friday night steakhouse dinners a regular thing.

10. The menu is not a blank canvas for your creativity

Substituting a side salad with rice alongside your duck à l'orange is probably fine. Asking to substitute fresh ground beef for the duck and a pack of melted green Skittles for the citrus sauce is going too far. While that's an unrealistic scenario, there's a line here that can't be crossed. If you are augmenting more than half of an order's ingredients, maybe you should opt for something else. Restaurants should be willing to cater to you, of course, but you can't expect them to act like your own personal chef. If you want that, get rich.

Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

11. Don't make servers split the check 15 ways

Entire articles could be written on this very topic (and actually have) but it boils down to this: You're an adult, you probably have Venmo, and you definitely have access to an ATM. Just use modern technology to your advantage, dude.

12. You can't send food back just because you suck at ordering

There are real, legitimate reasons for sending a plate of food back to the kitchen. The fact that you were too distracted thinking about your sister's thyroid problem to ask what "chitarra" was and it turned out to be pasta and even though you're not "gluten-free" or anything you've been trying to avoid carbs on every other weekday is... definitely not one of them.

13. Never blame a server for a kitchen mistake

If your server accidentally told the kitchen to make your ribeye a teeth-shattering, flames of Hades "super-well-done" instead of the requested "medium-rare," that's one thing. But it's highly unlikely they asked the cooks to make your broccoli soggy, and it's certainly not their fault if the restaurant runs out of salmon. That's like berating the dude who sells popcorn at the movie theater because you thought Suicide Squad sucked.

Forsake Foto/Flickr

14. Fibbing to get free food is not OK

Some well-meaning restaurants give out free food (or discounts) based on birthdays, military service, or just because they're good people. If you try to score some of said free food through some manipulation of the truth, you're either a shitty teenager showing off for his shitty friends (Braxton's future?), or an even worse adult. The servers already have to sacrifice their dignity when they halfheartedly serenade you around your one-candle sundae. Don't sacrifice yours.

15. Don't use the restaurant as your personal supermarket

If you are taking more than three packets of condiments in your to-go box and/or purse, you are the reason we can't have nice things -- or in this case, freely available ketchup -- anymore. And yes, this rule applies even if you are old. Sorry, grandma. Your days of stocking up on jelly at the IHOP are over.

16. No lingering in a busy restaurant

While restaurants shouldn't be trying to hurry you through your meal in the interest of turning tables over, it goes both ways. If it goes a way that involves a 20-minute conversation after the bill is paid when no one has anything but water in front of them as people salivate hungrily in the waiting area for your table, it's gone a bad, bad way.

Chris A / Foursquare

17. Cheap food does not equal a cheap tip

This issue was most pronounced in the heyday of Groupon and other imitators like the one your friend's cousin was trying to get you to invest in (dodged a bullet there). But the fact remains: Whether it's a coupon, a gift card, or 10-cent wing night, if you paid less for the food, the server didn't do any less work. Tip on the full amount. Especially if the establishment in question has low prices to begin with. If you're busting out the old tip calculator to figure out what exactly 15% of a $19 tab is, you're a mathematically precise monster. Put another way: If you received table service you shouldn't ever be tipping less than two bucks.

18. Don't show up and order food five minutes before closing

Picture this: You've worked a long, hard day at the office, but now you are literally five minutes away from heading home. Yay! Then, all of a sudden, your boss dumps a DJ Khaled-high stack of documents on your desk and tells you to parse through them all and create a brief PowerPoint on what you've learned... immediately. This is what it's like when you waltz into a restaurant five minutes before the designated closing time expecting to be served. Just because Google says they are open till 11 doesn't mean it's cool to order the rack of lamb at 10:57. Remember: Restaurant workers are people with lives, families, and breaking points, too.

Vasile Cotovanu/Flickr

19. Coffee and desserts are group decisions. Always.

If an entire table was prepared to forego dessert and move on with their lives and then you chime in to order yourself some tiramisu and an espresso, you deserve to have the whole crew desert you. Get it?! But for real, hopefully they leave you alone with just the one make-out couple and the piercing shrieks of little Braxton. Dessert is a "we" decision, not an "I" decision.

Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email and subscribe here for our YouTube channel to get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.

NOW WATCH: The 5 best hidden features from the latest iPhone update

from Feedburner http://ift.tt/2ymwgq9

#Feedburner

0 notes