#the only people who should feel bad are the ones actively contributing to the problem more than anyone else is

[thedisablednaturalist]

People who are worried they aren't helping with climate change or any other big world problem bc they do something like make video games or art or are a cashier at a grocery store:

You are helping. You are making the art that helps me, an environmentalist actively working to restore biodiversity and ecosystems, get through each day. You are helping those of us on the front lines enjoy living or take a well-needed break. The person loading my groceries into my car is making it so I can eat that week and have enough energy to do my work. If you want to do more, you can volunteer, donate, and boost the voices of local community leaders working to protect and restore the local ecosystems, but don't feel bad if you can't. We are all in this together.

#the only people who should feel bad are the ones actively contributing to the problem more than anyone else is #i mean rich people who take private jets not you who threw away a plastic bottle instead of recycling it #and fill up their giant swimming pools during droughts (and dont even swim in them!!!) #i personally chose my field bc i didnt want to stand by as all this bad crap happened #and because i love being outdoors and i love critters #but everyone elses jobs are important too #even people who cant work are valuable bc you give us a reason to fight for a better world for you #eventually i may have to stop working if my health gets worse but that doesnt mean i wont be valuable #i hope this makes sense #ramble #conservation #environmentalism #save the earth

[powdermelonkeg]

Something websites (*cough* Tumblr *cough*) need to learn is that what retains an audience isn't an abundance of new bells and whistles to play with, it's a coherent experience overall.

When someone joins a website, you don't need to grab their attention and hold it. They're already testing the waters. They've agreed to sign up. You've won on that front, and they're there for something specific you already have that they're hoping works well.

What drives them away is frustration.

Frustration, frustration, frustration.

Learning curves are going to be a part of any new website experience; they're something the user comes to terms with, in their own time. But broken or bad features are going to make them jump sites.

On top of that, constantly adding new features makes them feel like all the hard work they've put in to learning what you have isn't worth it; your website looks unstable and your staff looks incompetent, because it gives the impression that you don't know what you're doing.

You are floundering. It makes your new users nervous. It makes your old users hesitate to bring anyone else on board. And why should they? Why should they put effort into it if you're going to throw that effort away next Tuesday? Why get used to a UI that you're not going to bother to keep? Why customize anything if you're going to whittle that customization away?

Between that and the broken, unattended features of this site—the tag organization failing, the inability to look up posts word-for-word, the video player either refusing to play or yanking you to the top of the dashboard, images taking forever to load, advertisements blaring at full volume when you scroll past, you have your problem.

You have the reason why your numbers are failing.

It's not that you're not interesting enough.

It's not that you're too difficult to understand.

It's that you aren't improving what you have, yet you keep adding more half-broken things and unwanted copycat features to the pile.

It's that you're losing your identity in pursuit of a hypothetical perfect customer.

It's that you are actively telling your user base that you prefer those hypothetical customers over them. And your user base, your real people who make you happen, are smart enough to know where your priorities lie.

The bulk of this post talks about Tumblr, but other sites have gone the same way. Twitter is dead and its corpse is decaying in the street. Reddit has sabotaged any trust its users had in its management. If you'd like a really old example—I used to use Fanfiction Net. It's not the most intuitive website in the world, but it was the first one I called home.

I used it to host my works. The adware now on it makes it a hassle to navigate. The bots make comment sections and private messages a dread rather than a joy. So I moved on.

I also used to use it to collaborate on stories with my now-roommate. The message limit was 300 a day. When you're writing dialogue between characters, that's nothing.

So I moved on. We started messaging on Facebook. It was better, it didn't have a limit. But then I learned Discord existed, and I could edit messages, make dedicated channels, etc. So I moved on from Facebook to Discord. And Discord had a steep learning curve, especially if you're trying to make your own server rather than contribute to one. But, most importantly, the payoff was worth it.

If Discord changed its layout every other month while I was learning it, and broke how its reactions worked, and kept shifting what it meant to create a channel? If it opted me into servers I didn't sign up for, in hopes of engagement? If its text never formatted correctly, or its search function only went back a day or two?

I would have gone right back to Facebook. Even if it's a more basic experience, basic is always preferable to unstable.

Figure out what you want, websites.

Slow growth, or a gamble?

You're paying for your magic slot machine in users.

#negative salt #long post #this has been on my mind a lot lately

[ariays]

My thoughts on Rowoon leaving SF9 as someone who stans them since 2019:

Firstly, those of you who are not even a fan, who does not even follow Rowoon throughout his idol career and are here purely for the bandwagon, please kindly take a step back.

There has always been a reason why some fans knew this was coming and it's not because of the so called 'acting disease' which ya'll seem to assume. There's an unspoken reason which only true fans would know. He has been suffering from a herniated disc since 2020. Before that, he has been really involved with group activities but ever since the injury he sustained, he has not been able to fully participate due to the intense choreographies which he obviously wouldn't be able to do anymore.

Herniated disc is no joke and it doesn't just go away like any other minor injuries. Being put into acting projects is a more manageable and sustainable route for him to contribute to the company as well as his group's brand. Participating in multiple performances would just take a toll on his health because it's not just a one time performance, it's basically hours of practices and rehearsals which would be a sh*tty thing to do to yourself if you have a long ongoing back issues. His problem was so bad at one point that he couldn't even walk without the help of crutches.

It's a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation when it comes to Rowoon because when he priotises his health by not participating and doing other things to contribute instead, people get mad saying that it doesn't feel like he's part of the group then when he tries to participate like the latest comeback, people still get mad because of his dancing and bashed him for his lack of energy and passion. The man is still struggling with a herniated disc, of course he's not going to be able to dance as intensely as he used to. Unless you want him to break his back and paralyze himself in the future maybe.

To be honest, I can see why he may have felt slightly upset about the fans because of the bashing he received due to issues he has no control over. So before anyone mentions Eunwoo or Junho or whatever other actor idols out there who manages to juggle just fine, do they have any underlying health issues that could prevent them from performing choreo? Their situation is completely different so you can't really compare.

Sure, he can stick with doing the bare minimum choreo while aggravating his condition to become worse while also taking in all the bashing comments about his lack of energy for dancing but why should he? It will only make him feel guilty for bringing the group down because he would never be able to perform on par with them and he will only stick out like a sore thumb for all their upcoming performances.

So honestly, this is a right decision he made for himself as well as for his group members. Fans will just have to accept it whether they like it or not. I don't think he owes the fans any proper or detailed explanation for his decision because only real fans would know the truth from the start. If he were to state anything and reveal his vulnerabilities, it would just sound like an excuse to some people anyway so it's best that he does not mention it at all.

I expected Fantasies to be more understanding about his situation to be honest but I fully understand that the disappointment/anger felt are completely valid. I am too. I am disappointed that he's no longer SF9's Rowoon. But as a fan, I also could understand his struggles and the decision he made with him and his group members in mind. It is for the best. It's time for us to just move on and continue to support them as a group and support Rowoon on his new path as well.

If you find it difficult to support him after all this, then fine. You do you. But please don't invalidate the times where he has been nothing but an amazing member of SF9 who have contributed a lot to the group during their beginnings. Who has always been sweet, caring, and loving towards his members and fans. When they first started out, he was literally the PR of the group, going to various shows to promote the group as a rookie. When he started acting, and when he goes on shows, he would introduce himself as SF9 Rowoon while emphasizing on SF9. When he started gaining popularity and goes on shows with his group members, he would literally try to put the attention away from him and let the other members shine more because they deserve the attention as much he does. Please don't forget that Rowoon. Just as Rowoon is going on his new path, I hope that you'll erase all the negativity you might have felt and go on your own path as well.

#SF9 #sf9 rowoon #rowoon #seokwoo #kim seokwoo

[ofbreathandflame]

Here's my thing: Why join (or continually contribute) a fandom with an author who is known to be racist -- that is racist by your own admission -- and then get mad when other people continually talk about those problems?

I'm not even saying fandoms can't reclaim and participate in fandoms with irksome authors -- I'm saying that when you're in those fandoms and you seem irritable at those critiques then there are some ideological problems there. I like ASOIAF but I live for the scathing anti-criques because they're absolutely right. I scroll through like yep, yep, yep. It never bothers me, not even a little. That's for every fandom I participate in. Because racism is never just an irksome problem, it should never get on your nerves, and I could talk about it all day. Because when you look at the world through the lens of a black woman (and other women of color ofc) you are NEVER not going to see it. I like TVD but there was so much shit one dealt with, that we had to actively ignore for the sake of being able to enjoy the show. I really wish I could ignore it all, but sorry not sorry.

I feel like a lot of people like to make their annual post about SJM's racism, and then don't want to consider two things (1) that the racism isn't actually isolated and permeates throughout all of her works and (2) there are consequences (or at least there should be) to being racist. Even if you have somehow come to terms with the racism in the story, that doesn't mean other people will or have to. The only way we even begin to solve the problem is by continually talking about it. It's just very crazy, IMO, to say that we are allowed to be upset -- but not in a way that disrupts your fandom experiences. That little irritation you feel every time a new post hits the anti-tag is racism. That little irritation you feel every time someone brings up Nehemia and the problems in Throne of Glass -- is also racism. I may be over the character conversation, but I'm not over the ones like these that have real consequences in the world of literature. It's just very frustrating to see people turn criticism of SJM's writing into a misogyny problem when the majority of the people doing the criticism are women of color.

LIKE -- are we supposed to talk about the racism once every blue moon for kudos points and then go back to pretending it doesn't exist? What are we gaining with that approach quickly?

The anti-anti sentiment is tired, and much more representative of people's unwillingness to address the problems than anything else. Like y'all are asking a group of people to....sympathize with someone who doesn't see her black readers as human enough to live on the page/?? Human enough to be represented as actual, complex human beings -- it don't sound wild to y'all? I'm pro anti for any racist author who crawls up the depths into the light of the publishing industry.

We complained about Nehemia and not only were we met with silence -- she did it AGAIN. And then stuck the remaining mixed race women with the man the story thought needed to be redeemed, with the main whose people enslaved her own -- and then the next black women we met come in the form of servents, and then the next black women as jealousy fodder, and then the next black women is brutally murdered, debased -- and I think has her head shaved, and that was FOR HELPING the main character. Then the next black woman is sidelined for the villainous, blonde-haired sister who got all of two words in the first book of CC. Lack of diversity is bad, but not inherently racist -- rather a symptom of white privilege. I wouldn't fret about it. Conscious, negative, and continuous bad representation is another thing entirely.

Anywho may the anti-community continue to thrive for this and any other racist author ❤️

#i hate antis aww well sorry not sorry #anti sjm #am i supposed to feel bad??? well i don't #be nice??? #to a r*cist author? #i think NOT #yall dont send me bait posts i am not that strong

[deservedgrace]

the more I become a leftist as well as being ex-evangelical is really, really making me think how xtianity is basically a perfect tool of manipulation for imperialism.

and how much it has damaged the world into thinking humans are inherently evil. contributing to people feeling hopeless about humanity in the belief that we are inherently cruel. as xtianity spread that idea of original sin to everyone

a lot of other cultures viewed humanity in a more neutral light. some neutral to good

how would someone feel like they can make actual change in the world for the better if we were taught humans are inherently damned?

through this and many other aspects of xtianity… it is no wonder many conservatives who fight against progress are evangelical. and no surprise that christofascism would evolve as a concept and is a significant threat in the US

you're so right. there are so many things that contribute to xtianity being so effective as a manipulation tool but enforcing the idea that something is inherently wrong with you in order to sell the "cure" (xitanity) is particularly insidious

there's this weird dichotomy in evangelical xtianity where you're this horrible, depraved sinner without any hope of being better because you're a human and it takes away responsibility and accountability for your actions, and yet you're better than all the other sinners because you have ~the cure~, and because you have ~the cure~ and you're better than everyone else, you don't need to look at the harm you're doing. it's really similar to the issues in like, over-identifying with being a "good person" or "bad person" imo. if you're a "bad person" there's no point in examining your behavior because everything you do is bad, and if you're a "good person" you don't have to examine your behavior because everything you do is good. and in so many of these people we get this weird yet inevitable mix of "i can't help that i'm a horrible evil sinner" and "i'm always doing the right thing" that leads to this inability to self-reflect or take accountability even when people explicitly say they're being hurt. and then it's magnified by this belief in an all-knowing, all-loving god that you cannot question without consequences and couldn't possibly ever understand with your mere human knowledge that demands your full trust and faith anyway or burn in hell for all eternity

and then by claiming that everyone else is horrible and evil and that you have the ~one true fix~, you get these people who desperately want to "help" others but simultaneously view them as inherently evil and worthy of destruction, and that combination is catastrophic because then you have people who are not only willing to do whatever it takes to "fix" them, they view it as a loving activity

and all of that ties into the problem of heaven, where people are like "why should we make things better for people when the good, deserving xtains will be rewarded in heaven anyway and this life won't matter, and the evil, undeserving non-xtians are lucky that earth isn't as bad as hell will be"

i can only speak for where i'm at (the us) but the idea that humans are inherently evil is prevalent even outside of xtian circles, and it's so unfortunate because that's a very xtian idea that stems from the idea of original sin... which is the reason xtians think xtianity is necessary in the first place

i'm gonna stop there but i have A Lot of Thoughts about xtainity and why it's manifested the way it has

#thank you for sending this anon :) #i hope you're well #ex christian #religious trauma #cult tactics #hell tw #heaven tw

[thefirstknife]

I feel like the abandonment of gambit (and to a lesser extent the slowness of updating the other two core activites/vendor armor) is the end result of those activities being free. All of the dev time that used to go in to making new strikes, maps, weapons, armor is in the paid content (seasons and expansions) and the "core playlists" are relegated to being a demo. Strikes are a demo for seasonal activities and raids, crucible is a demo for trials, but gambit never had any paid counterpart, and consequently gets even less attention than the other two. Not even sure if there's an answer here that isn't just "make the base game paid again" but that has its own problems.

That's possibly one of the explanations yeah. I can't even imagine what's going on in Bungie's marketing department and how they view spending resources into free activities. Genuinely something we will probably never know anything about conclusively. I can see how axing one of these would be preferable to them.

Not to mention that Gambit is so far down at this point that they would not only need extra resources, they would need SO MANY resources that it's genuinely just not worth it. Like, nobody would approve financing that. It's still on them because they should've gradually worked on it step by step over the years instead of letting it fall so low, but hindsight is a bitch.

I mean, Gambit enjoyers could've told them a long time ago about the issues, but I'm genuinely convinced that the negative community attitude towards Gambit that has been cultivating for years contributed to this. Gambit doesn't really have big advocates or content creators or people who will make 2700000 tweets a day about the lack of new maps or bad modes. It's a fully accepted "joke" in the community to hate Gambit and it's been around since before I got into Gambit. I also distinctly remember thinking about getting Reckoner back in Worthy/Arrivals and everyone's reaction to it was always "you have to be insane to do that." And like, I did it and had a lot of fun. I 100% enjoyed getting Reckoner. But if you look online, you will only hear about The Horrors. The amount of jokes that I've seen about titles and for Reckoner it's always "If you see someone with Reckoner, know that they're the most insane bitch on Earth to go through that." Unrelatable: I loved it. So even back when Gambit was still good (imo) and Gambit Prime was still in the game, people hated it already. Years of that attitude certainly contributed to where we're at now.

A few more asks under for length, using today to have a group therapy session:

Yep, pretty much. I feel like the moment it became widespread to hate Gambit, something should've been done right away. If the whole community is acting this way, it should be concerning. Bungie should've wondered why the community's stance on Gambit was that it's a horrible thing to play. Not only just to fix Gambit, but also to like. Wonder why they're pushing people into an activity that's almost universally hated. And not only was it hated, but it consistently dropped player population. Like, crucibros hate on the Crucible, but still clock a fulltime job working hours into playing it.

As soon as this became widespread, paired with the fact that no one is doing Gambit content online, it should've sounded the alarms. If resources were put into Gambit over time, something could've been done. Send out surveys to players, to content creators even. What would make you want to play more Gambit? What would make you want to create content for Gambit? What do you expect and want from this playlist activity?

There's so many ways to make changes and so many directions to go to with this game mode. But now it's simply too late. To make any significant fixes, you would have to invest too much and you don't have a guarantee that it will work. Therefore, bye.

Honestly, this. I think this would've been fair. Not to screw over Crucible players or anything, as much as I don't like the crucibros (thanks other anon for this word), I still don't want players to experience what happened to us gambitbros.

But splitting the work between seasons/expansions and giving every playlist the proper focus would've probably helped much more in the long run. Take two seasons and focus on Crucible only. Then take another two season and focus on Strikes only. Then another two for Gambit. Anything like that, as much as needed. And if we need another cycle like it, do it again. I am completely fine waiting when I know that eventually we will get the proper attention and resources.

I can't even gauge how many people are even outraged over Gambit for genuine love of Gambit and how many don't care but they're going to be pretending to be outraged just to join the shitfest. Because if there's a lot of people being outraged for real, then where were all those people when we needed to let Bungie know we want meaningful updates?

But yeah. We'll still be able to play and we'll still be able to do Gambit for our weekly stuff, but I fear that the population of the mode will be really low and imbalanced. We'll have to wait and see. Would definitely have loved if Bungie cycled time and resources between the core playlists over the past few years, and especially if Gambit received at least a little bit of extra love.

#destiny 2 #gambit #ask

[chirpsythismorning]

I dont even think the tag is dead at all tbh. We were really spoiled last summer with 2k post per day, and something crazy happening everyday like Mikhailgate, scriptgate, sock anon or people impersonating Ross duffer, but if you check most tags on this app, that's rarely the case. The thing is, it's been a year since season 4 came out and we're still getting around 300 posts per day and I need people to realise how crazy that is. Before season 4 the tag had like 5 k followers and there could be days without a single post. The fact that it's been a year and we still surpass 200 posts, AND we've already made it through the most content drought phase of the hiatus (since filming is about to begin and we'll increase the daily posts again) is crazy. This tag is still very much active, even for a show that hasn't released any new content for a year. And also AO3 is still active. The fact that for a whole year, there's been writers who still update fics or create new ones everyday is something I'm not used to coming from other smaller fandoms.

I get it's a bit more boring right now and we are looking back to the may-august craze, but we've already made it through the worst and we only need to hold on for one more month

This is definitely the best way to look at it!

I think I’m also maybe sad bc a lot of familiar faces aren’t as active, like some folks I remember seeing daily are gone. Which is fine!

And even despite that you’ll see posts in the tag get like hundreds of likes, so there are definitely a lot of people still lurking just not posting. Which is also fine!

It’s so true though that we are a lot more active than we realize.

Tumblr in general I used to think of as like a no man’s land pre-s4 bc it tends to really only be active in specific fandoms where like the unity is on point bc the content is just rolling in.

So many fandoms reside here at a point, but dwindle over time, and I feel like we are very fortunate to have made a big space here bc it is a cool platform when you have a lot of people that like a certain thing and want to talk about it.

And we’re fortunate enough to be so massive and not only that but this is sort of just the beginning. Imagine how many followers we’ll gain leading up to s5, during and after…? Or the aftermath of people coming here to look at theories and be like YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT! All the queer fans who kind of talked down on us (understandably) for potentially falling for queerbait, joining in and being like wow this is surreal, it finally happened. It’s going to be magical.

For now I guess it just makes me wonder if I should take a break too?? Like seeing yourself over and over in the tag is almost a wake up call that I should step back like everyone else is for the time being? Bc like idk if it’s maybe annoying to see the same person over and over? Or if it’s just the reminder of how inactive things are and that’s what makes people step back too?

Not even a bad thing necessarily like you said, bc this is still an unprecedented case of a fandom being quite active despite the circumstances.

Honestly though, even if there isn’t much news going into May and in the couple months after it, beyond like the bare minimum of what we’re expecting, I’ll try to embrace it and maybe step back or even focus on more detailed posts instead of the day to day fodder.

I also hate myself for this, but I rarely go in the top posts tag??? I’m always like living in the recent posts part of it and that’s probably also the problem 😭

So reminder to anyone that’s like me who does the same, we gotta support more of us that have top posts too bc I will literally remember the top posts exists, go there, find absolute gems (obviously it’s top posts???) and then be like why the fuck don’t I come here more often??? That’s another way I could probably curb my disappointment about us not being as active as I’m used to. And it’s super simple.

There’s a lot of stuff like that I could do better at to contribute to the solution of this being a better experience for myself and other still active on here!

Thanks for the pep talk anón 😇🙏

#byler #byler tumblr #ask

[quidcumque]

GRAVEYARD KEEPER: FIRST THOUGHTS

I heard it compared to Stardew Valley and aside from the silly title screen, it's definitely visually there. Play through? There are a hell of a lot of cons, but they won't keep me from playing it

Con: no character customization, no choices at all. You ARE a heterosexual white male-presenting protagonist with a female-presenting white sweetheart. Any headcannon re either of you being 🏳️‍⚧️ remains headcannon

Hilarious: you are reading a text from your sweetheart when crossing a road and you get hit by a car. Keep track of your surroundings, kids

Con: the dialog writing starts out real clumsy. You do eventually get choices, but I prefer how SV makes you the strong silent type when you're not actively involved

WHICH REMINDS ME, CON: don't let the dialog bubbles cycle on their own without me clicking??? I missed so much unretrievable info because I was mulling over the first half smh

Plot: she swallowed the dog to catch the cat, she swallowed the cat to catch the bird, she swallowed the bird to catch the spider, she swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly, maybe she died crossing the street and woke up in a shitty little medieval FLAT EARTHER village and she has to rube goldburg her way to and through a magic portal to get back to her sweetheart. Or something.

Pro: I don't play rpgs much so while I don't prefer this style over sv's do-whatever-and-you'll-suck-less-as-you-go gameplay, it's pretty awesome in and off itself BECAUSE it's so different. It also contributes heavily to the swallowed-the-spider-to-catch-the-fly effect because it's got EIGHT TABS OF TECH TREES and I started drawing graphs

Pro: you're on a derelict homestead/graveyard with a familiar need to clear rocks/trees/stuff and bring the area back to life. BUT doing things gives you different xp/knowledge points which is how you advance on the tech trees, so it's different from just a carbon copy SV feel

Con: Jesús Christ you can tell this was made by a dude. So was SV, but where it had nearly equal gender ratios (plus the aforementioned character choices), I've seen... not very many women thus far, and what we get is not exactly impressive. I have no problems with "ms charm" telling me to fuck off until I deserved to talk to her, as half the men I met said the same. But I've met two wives thus far, and uhhhhhhhhhhh one is straight up called sweet but stupid in her bio and the other opens EVERY SINGLE DIALOG with "you should talk to my husband, he's in charge" like jfc lady you're the one I need for recipes, calm down? Does he beat you? What the hell?

Con: let's set aside that I'm pretty sure the "medieval idiots thought world flat" thing has been debunked, because I found info but it didn't have good citations. Also maybe we're going for parody over historically accurate, fine whatever. But whyyyyyyyyyy do you have a guy named "G*psy Traveler" like I know I have an inflated sense of how widely it's known that that's a slur, but it on top of the flat earth thing and the WOW that's bad female-or-anything representation, it builds an image of the creator/creators as the really stereotypical basement dwelling head-up-ass dudes who have never ever looked outside their zone and never ever want to

Pro: like two steps into the tutorial you're slapped in the face with Soilent Green is People and you just live with that

Hilarious: I can tell when I have a first conversation with somebody I was supposed to have met already, because my pre-scripted side of the conversation suddenly backslides in terms of my acceptance of the situation

Pro: time is an illusion and represented only by the cycle of emoji-labeled days. Weeks are not counted, so I legitimately have no clue how many "weeks" I went through last night

Unsure??? I don't know how much I'm going to have to drink the church koolaid to progress? I saw an indication up the tech tree that suggested my good/evil choices MIGHT matter, but I've got no idea how. I told the inquisitor who'd just BURNED A PEOPLE ALIVE IN FRONT OF ME that sure I'd be his friend, and I don't know if the game allows for that to have been a choice made out of the fear that I'd be burned next if I said no

Pro: I still want to play it. The myriad cons will influence how I talk about it to my friends, but it's still giving me dopamine, and that's good enough

#graveyard keeper #stardew valley #game review #first thoughts

[tadpolesonalgae]

ive seen the argument that rhys killed the winter court children thrown around so much but thank you for saying that bc i was starting to think i read it wrong. kallias only agrees to help the night court when it's made clear that rhys didnt kill the children and that amarantha had another mind reader. and they even become allies because kallias and viviane are at some celebration at the housw of wind later in the books right? if it had been rhys none of that would happen.

there are a lot of reasons you can not like rhysand he was always meant to be a morally grey character (imo sjm made him too nice actually) but im always confused when people keep using this reason because it might be the only one he was proven innocent

i loved the story dont get me wrong but reader in that is closer to hybern than to rhysand like the whole thing with the ic is that they all did terrible things but with a reason and she's just a bitch for a lack of a better word

i also felt both az and rhys were justified in how they treated her, i mean it was tough to read but she went way too far in how she was talking about elain, calling her all type of misogynistic names just because azriel and her are together so ofc azriel lost it on her (and not even that badly like he meant everything he said and none of those were lies) and then ofc the last straw for rhys was her threatening to dig up the archeron dad, that's a disgusting thing to do and rhys doesnt play about feyre. also if she has had this personality for centuries i can only imagine the list of shit the ic has against her

id love to read more of this story but i think it's pretty clear she's a villain, not even morally grey like the ic. i do love villain stories though so im excited lol

I mean, with the Winter Court situation, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened? 🫣 I don’t have the books on me at the moment so I can’t check but I agree it would be weird if Kalias and Viviane came over for the solstice with the death of a dozen children between them, so I’m inclined to believe Rhys wasn’t the one who committed that particular crime for Amarantha 🫠😭

And with Rhys being morally grey, I feel like it gets a little confusing because we don’t really get to see what he’s like as a character without Feyre? I feel like he probably took a bit of a (positive) turn now that he has his mate if that makes sense? Also the fact he isn’t under the pressure of maintaining a mask so thoroughly has probably contributed to who he’s become? I’d really like to get a scene though where the morally grey part bleeds through, perhaps if someone’s threatened in a future book? 👀

Either way, he’s a fictional character (to many’s upset 😔) so I suppose his personal ethics aren’t a particular point of contention when held against some problems occurring in our world 😕

‘i loved the story dont get me wrong but reader in that is closer to hybern than to rhysand’

You do not have to worry about a thing, she is fully intended to be easily and actively dislikable though I don’t think it’s an issue if some people take her side since this is a work of fiction 🧡💛

However, I am really interested in seeing what sides people take when it comes to what she does and her motivations, as well as what she holds dear and who she’s loyal to when it comes down to it! I’ll be curious if anyone will feel her actions might be more easily justifiable or at the very least understandable once more of her past is dug up? Whether people feel a bad deed is always a bad deed irrespective of circumstance, or whether the context and environment surrounding an action should be taken into consideration before passing judgement :)

‘calling her all type of misogynistic names just because azriel and her are together so ofc azriel lost it on her’

To be perfectly honest with you, I really enjoyed getting to write the parts because of how inappropriate they were given the situation 🤦😭 Her trying to convince Az to be with her and then insulting the person he claims to be in love with 🫣

‘and then ofc the last straw for rhys was her threatening to dig up the archeron dad, that's a disgusting thing to do and rhys doesnt play about feyre.’

I mean, not only is she a prominent figure in society, but she also has some pretty intense power readily disposable, and she doesn’t really act like she’s responsible enough to handle it (but we’ll inevitably examine those parts, too, because it would be weird if she just came into all that power without any sort of accountability or understanding of death and life, right? 👀)

‘id love to read more of this story but i think it's pretty clear she's a villain, not even morally grey like the ic. i do love villain stories though so im excited lol’

Honestly I’m still figuring out what’s going to happen in the end? She’s going to get with Az, but I’m indecisive on whether it’ll be a clean ending or not? I feel like if it is going to be like that, there’s a line that she won’t be able to cross, whereas it might be quite interesting to see how people try to reconcile her actions while still keeping in line with their own morals?

Also witnessing through her actions what sort of person she’s become and what situations have led up to that (and whether there are other people partially responsible for the things that have happened)

Either way, I think it’ll be exciting to figure these things out! There’s still so much of the story yet to be decided on, so it’s going to take some time for a next part to come together! And thank you so much for writing in!! I absolutely adore getting to read thoughts like this, it makes me so happy to know you’re invested to this level 🧡💛

#anons <3 #the other woman

[itsclydebitches]

I don't go here, but I really dislike how ubiquitous the notion has become in fandom that 'strong and independent woman' is somehow mutually exclusive with 'woman in a romantic relationship/prioritizing romance'. I feel like that's the kind of attitude that leads to terrible readings like 'The Little Mermaid is anti-feminist because Ariel gives up her voice for a man' which requires ignoring several key aspects of the film's plot and Ariel's character specifically (such as the fact that she sings Part of Your World before she ever lays eyes on Eric, and she spent her entire life collecting artifacts from the surface world and arranging them in her grotto), nevermind the fact that a story where someone falls in love and values that highly enough to make significant changes to her life to fight for it would still have value! Because love has value!

Like you said, just because there are a lot of cases where female characters are reduced to love interests and nothing else doesn't mean a female character caring about love and being motivated by love means she can't also be strong and independent. I feel like a lot of people just swing the pendulum way too far in the other direction and seem to think that being in love is what devalued those female characters, and not the fact that they were (by and large) written to be accessories for the male characters they were attached to and had nothing else to contribute to the story.

That is the problem, not romantic storylines themselves.

Precisely, anon! I'm really glad you brought up The Little Mermaid, both because the latest adaptation showcases how important intersectionality is (a black mermaid getting the "generic" love story is not the same thing as another white mermaid getting it) and because I've had similar gripes about many fans' readings of Cinderella. To be clear, I think the Disney + princess craze is a complicated subject with an equally complicated impact on kids, but a lot of people will attempt to simplify that conversation down to, "It's bad because she wants a man." Putting aside that this is not, as discussed, inherently a bad thing... did we miss the part where she's in a clearly abusive household, wants only to experience one fun night, and happens to meet the Prince without ever actively aiming for that to happen? This is a debate my friend and I have had for years, to the point where "Cinderella" is a bit of a code-word for, "We're never going to agree on this topic and others are getting annoyed at our impassioned arguments, so can we just move on now?" lol

I experienced similar frustration back when Jupiter Ascending came out and -- putting aside the quality of the film (or supposed lack thereof) -- people were up in arms about how terrible it is that the woman lead needs to be rescued by the guy, with the reason for that terribleness boiling down to, presumably, the idea that a woman is automatically weak if she needs help. Meanwhile, I was reading things through the lens of the show's realism (of course the average cleaning lady is not going to be able to fight off alien kidnappers without assistance) as well as the joy of seeing parts of myself in a Sci-Fi/Fantasy story. I'm not physically strong. I'm not a martial artist. I'm not someone who's going to immediately come up with a cutting remark and satisfyingly punch someone in the face. As cool as that archetype is, it's reductive to present a Strong and Independent Woman as solely physically strong and romantically independent. That definition should -- and does -- mean a thousand different things!

I do get it. I often have a knee-jerk reaction to certain writing choices for women (there was a maybe baby plot-line for one of Ted Lasso's characters this season that, far more than Keeley, I've been side-eying), but overall I try to approach each story as the individual text that it is. Yes, there are issues with these trends across media... but is this story actually falling into those stereotypes and harmful depictions, or have we just trained ourselves to reject anything in this category by default?

#mymetas

[iverna]

People on here need to stfu with the judgment tbh. Everyone was up in arms about the migrant crisis last summer... for about a week after that boat went down. People responded on a post I made about how they were sick with worry because they just cared so much. Not enough to know where the Mediterranean is or when the event happened or follow the news or know anything at all about it, but they were so upset that really we should've counted them among the victims, or at least given them a medal for being such a great caring selfless heroic person.

Anyway that crisis is ongoing. Has been for years. All over the world, not just in the Mediterranean. None of ye care about it anymore. I haven't seen a single thing about it in months.

Everyone was up in arms and concerned about the Afghan people, especially Afghan women, after the US pulled out of Afghanistan. Same thing: two weeks later, we were over it and nobody ever talked about it again. Have you looked it up lately? It's not going great over there. Contributing to the migrant crisis, in fact.

Same with Ukraine. Everyone seems to have just accepted that there's a war over there now. It's ongoing. People there still need help and support. I don't seem to see a lot about that around here anymore either.

Now people are on about Palestine as if that hasn't also been going on for years. Now we're suddenly judging people for not donating or caring enough? I first donated to the PCRF two years ago. Should I sit here all sanctimonious about everyone who only just realised last month that there's a problem in Gaza, who only cares now that it's unavoidable in the news? Or maybe I should judge you all for only caring about this crisis and not the one in Sudan? Come on.

And btw I'm not saying that you have to know and care about everything all the time. It's not possible. At the very least you need to take breaks. Which is the point here, really. Can we maybe not act like people are bad people for not constantly being informed and emotionally invested in every single conflict or humanitarian crisis? It's a lot. Even humanitarian aid workers usually pick one at a time.

If you're going around judging other people and berating them and calling them racist or whatever for not caring enough or in the right way about whatever the current trendy cause is, that's not activism, that's not altruism, that's getting on your high horse in order to feel better about yourself and tbh it's pathetic. It doesn't help anyone except maybe your own self-esteem, and even that's only for two seconds before your conscience reminds you you're being a selfish hypocrite and you have to find the next thing to be sanctimonious about to try and keep the bad feelings at bay.

#rant #sick of seeing this tbh #i'm not a cynic but like #this shit? i'm cynical about this #you don't care #you just want to feel like a good person #and you can only do that #by making everyone else bad #which says a lot tbh #politics #hypocrisy

[aronarchy]

i definitely agree with your positions on youthlib, adultism and the nuclear family model, however my question is - what's your positive plan, if any, assuming you could remove / already have removed these oppressive constructs?

Ok first off: this has been sitting in my inbox for several months, and I’m really sorry that I haven’t answered it sooner, and I feel really bad about that, and I’m not even entirely sure why (I started drafting my answer a while ago, then developed a sort of mental block around the whole thing and somehow only got over it today); I’m sure this probably feels irrelevant by now, or unnecessary, and sorry about that!

.

If the question is “what will replace adultism/nuclear family wrt performing their [actual] current functions,” the answer is—nothing. Their purpose is to control large swathes of people, to regulate certain behaviors, and to concentrate power and resource in the hands of some at the expense of others. There is no need for anything that oppresses and abuses youth to exist at all, and it should not exist, and the whole point of a youthlib movement is to get rid of them.

If the question is “what will replace adultism/the nuclear family/current educational institutions/etc in doing what they currently claim to do/be for,” that’s a rather different question.

Adultists claim that the nuclear family allows for youth to be sheltered, fed, clothed, and taken care of: that without it, youth will die en masse, will starve on the streets, etc. But this is not actually true; the prescription of the Family leads to many neglectful/abusive parents refusing to or inadequately feeding, clothing, and caring for their children. If youth were able to easily acquire food, clothing, shelter, and other resources without having to rely on parents, that would solve this problem. If youth were not forced to remain with their biological family, they could leave when they wanted, the same way anyone else would leave a living situation or relationship they find harmful to themself, or just not something they want, and form relationships that they do want, when they are able to do so and not under social, economic, and political pressures to remain.

I question the popular framing of what will you do when The Revolution is Over, as if these are only things we can do later, rather than things we are (or should be) doing now, and things which are a part of revolution itself and also contribute to the undermining of oppressive structures. What we hope we’ll be doing Then is what we’re struggling to do right now. One of those things is simply living our lives the way we wish (while not preventing others from living their own lives the way they wish). Like anyone else escaping abuse, youth who have escaped adultist oppression will start doing the things they want to do which they were previously unable to because they were forced to not do them. The youthlib project works toward maximizing the ability of doing these things unimpeded, and also doing the things themselves. i.e. moving around in public spaces without harassment, living with people they want to live with, dedicating their time to hobbies or projects they find useful or other things without being dragged away to meaningless forced labor daily.

One thing adultism (like other oppressive systems) promises is to prevent not only various harmless activities but also harmless ones. Adultists claim that if not subject to adult rule, youth will be violent toward each other, and that without adultism, there would be no recourse for victims of abuse by other youth. The adultist’s solution is to maintain figures with far more power than either party so that adults will be able to stop a youth abusing another youth. This is clearly wrong, of course: this makes it so that when adults abuse youth, there is no possible recourse (apart from seeking an even higher authority, which poses the exact same problems as this); most adults don’t even bother to use their power to stop abuse between youth, as it is in their interest to uphold hierarchies among the people they oppress, and they are themselves pro abuse, so why would they care to stop abuse? It is far more common for a parent, a teacher, etc who is called on to stop a case of bullying to disbelieve or blame the victim and to punish the victim instead. (When they do punish bullies/abusers, this isn’t usually great either, because they are simply enacting more abuse by the more powerful onto the weaker.)

How do adults resolve adult-on-adult abuse or victimization? Most appeal to a third party of higher authority than them both (the manager, the boss, the cop, the judge, the state leader). Some don’t, and instead resolve the conflict by seeing where they are at right now, and what they need, and acting accordingly. Without the reassuring (but ultimately poisonous) presence of a Higher-Up to solve the problem, how would youth deal with violence among themselves? The same things many are doing right now when struggling against abusive authority figures, or trying to stop a bully without the help of indifferent adults. Youth liberation simply means that the many barriers to this are taken down (and the process which takes them down is also the process that solves the problems themselves). Without the ability to lock up “violent juvenile offenders” in psychiatric wards to “fix” them or detention facilities to “neutralize their threat,” how would we stop harm? Community protocols, mutual aid, self-defense... everything everyone is doing now, as part of their day-to-day lives, these are the options that we struggle to make more available and more successful.

I generally don’t like trying to give answers to questions that are too vague or broad, because it’s rather difficult for me—my mind is much clearer when I am answering about specific situations—but I can discuss some of the things that have come up in conversations with my friends, or conversations I’ve seen my friends have. One was about the family. We talked about what could be the alternatives to the current “bio parents = raise them in their own house” model. I think we can generally agree that 1) a parent who don’t want to raise their kid should not have to, for both their sake and for the kid’s; adoption should be an easily available option, but without the bureaucratic bullshit and abuse and neglect we have going on right now; 2) if a child is too young to state which particular person(s) they would prefer to live with, and doesn’t indicate with other reactions that they dislike an adult/prefer a different adult, we’re not for grabbing babies out of bio parents’ arms to redistribute on some bizarre planning principle; 3) it should be easier for more than just two adults to live in one home taking care of a child/children, and children and adults should be able to get outside and move around more, and non-familial adults should be able to help out with raising a kid more (i.e. the old “it takes a village” mantra). Education not coercive and strictly regimented; information (i.e. libraries, bookstores, archives, the internet) available and more specific teaching programs (i.e. specialized educators, other teachers, classes) available but not forced. Better mental health services. Cultural shifts; earlier education about boundaries, consent, autonomy, and abuse being wrong. Disability accommodations without bullshit red tape. Neurodivergence, mental illness, physical illness, and disability testing and information more widely available and not limited by ableism. Improved mental health services, harm reduction, queerness not stigmatized/treated as taboo, youth who come out as weird early not invalidated or locked up.

Some less “formal” things I’m particularly interested in right now are things like accountability processes, protocols when harm occurs, and getting each other to get better and more proactive at stopping harm and de-platforming abuse/abuse advocacy. This involves things like group education/information sharing, but also practicing, and acknowledging and resisting incentives to enable harm for the sake of “group cohesion” or other social pressures. I imagine this would look similarly IRL, though I’m not really socially connected with anyone offline because of certain limitations in my circumstances. But I have been reading about how IRL leftist communities have fared; applying something like the above to youth would involve being more aware of predator red flags, working against incentives to ignore discomfort from boundary violations, encouraging each other to respect consent and to not tolerate boundary-crossing, and collectively removing predatory/abusive/bigoted adults from spaces/events or positions of power that allow them to continue carrying out harm. Some other things would be, i.e., distributions of food and clothing to those in need without violent and unjust gatekeeping; current versions of that look like mutual aid, or shoplifting and theft when otherwise unavailable.

There’s a lot I haven’t covered, and I don’t feel up to trying to cover everything that could fall under the above (especially not in one go); a lot of people have discussed other examples and answers elsewhere (tweets, posts, blogs, papers, orgs...) and there’s been even more written out in much more detail in books (first that came to mind was Sophie Lewis, Full Surrogacy Now & Abolish the Family, I haven’t read them yet but I’ve heard good reviews and they seem to have that kind of planning goal, specifically discussing the nuclear family and other possible kinship formations which were a thing your ask mentioned in particular so).

#ask #mrjocrafter #late answer

[saaraofthesand]

My Thoughts on The Sun and The Star.

I’ve organized my thoughts into some lists. Enjoy.

I polled my followers and they said they wanted this so you can’t get mad at me.

I must first emphasize that at 20 years old, I’m hardly this book’s target audience. I am fully aware of that.

Second, this book is fine. It’s not bad, it’s not insulting to queer people, but it’s also not the most interesting work of fiction I’ve ever read.

Third, I never finished the Trials of Apollo. I don’t think it hugely affected my reading experience with this one as I’d read all 10 of the other books and could use context clues for anything I didn’t know about. But I thought I should mention it.

Fourth, a lot of my problems with this book have also been present in all of Rick Riordan’s books post-pjo. So, these aren’t new.

Fifth, I went into this book with basically zero expectations. I’m not active in the pjo fandom (this is an anime blog), so I wasn’t seeing the book hyped up or anything. Before this, I’d basically only talked about it with my family and friends. I also don’t really read pjo fanfics. I have because I’ve gotten curious before, but I haven’t read enough to know about general fanon interpretations of characters.

Okay,

Nico has been my favorite PJO character since I was a kid (yes I grew up gay with abandonment issues shut up), so I was excited for this book.

The queerness is well done. There isn’t any “othering” of Nico, Will, or their relationship due to their queerness.

We got Italian! Nico moments, which I’ve been wanting more of since forever, so I’m happy about that. They did an okay job rounding out Will’s character. And Nico and Will’s relationship got a lot of good exposition (even if I felt that they were unrealistically mature about it). Nico’s experiences with homophobia felt very real.

Okay, now on to my critics:

Without a doubt my biggest criticism of this book is that it is very clearly fanservice. It doesn’t exist because it has a story to tell. It exists because fans wanted more Nico and Will content.

I didn’t like that the book was written from third person. I had this same critic of the Heroes of Olympus books. Rick Riordan’s strength has always been first person POVs, starting with the original PJO series. I feel like the funny chapter names, the breaking of the fourth wall, the sidebars, etc. are the reason that Rick’s prose stands out. A first person perspective is the reason the books are as funny as they are. And this book lacked that spark.

The choice to write from third person is part of what contributes to the fanfiction-esque writing style of this book. As someone who both reads and writes fanfiction, I can tell you that almost all fanfics are written from third person. This is because, for the most part, the characters you’re writing are not your own. First person is way too intimate a POV for that type of writing, and it’s why most fanfic authors don’t use it. That’s what I feel like is happening here. Oshiro is writing characters that aren’t theirs, and that means they can’t bring the intimacy of a first person POV or even a more intimate third person POV.

The book is also very on the nose with its themes and ideas. Generally, this is fine in this type of literature. This is a piece of middle-grade fiction. The target audience is middle schoolers. But also, middle schoolers can pick up on subtext. They’re young, not illiterate. There was far too much telling when they were already showing.

A good example is the title of the book. It’s very clear that “The Sun” is Will and “The Star” is Nico. I assumed that before I even opened the book. That imagery is incredibly obvious, so the authors don’t need to state it in the text. But… they do. Bob refers to Will and Nico as “My sun and star.” It was one of the moments in the book that really made me cringe.

The book has major pacing issues and is too long. I felt like it was going on forever. There were full scenes and segments that I think could’ve been cut without affecting the plot.

This book really put on display that even though Will and Nico work as boyfriends, they don’t work as partners. This contrasts Percy and Annabeth, who do work really well together since they were partners first. But Nico and Will are so bad at working together that their quest dynamic isn’t fun.

Generally, I don’t love the characterization in this book.

Nico and Will are supposed to be on this dark, dangerous quest. One so horrible no one would ever want to undertake it. It’s the House of Hades (Nyx’s Version). Except it really isn’t. It felt like they wanted to make it more psychological than the previous books, but they also weren’t totally willing to commit to everything that would entail.

Despite all the fluff in the book, it takes itself just a little too seriously. Nico and Will are 15-16. I feel like they could have had more fun with it while still tackling darker themes. Again, I know Riordan is capable of this because *gestures at the original PJO books*

Nico and Will have this weirdly mature outlook on their relationship that doesn’t fit their ages.

We don’t get PJO-esque jokes until 80% of the way through the book (yes, I kept track). There’s the “Travel Brochure” joke and the “Saturday Sundae” joke during the Nyx confrontation. Both of which invoked the feeling of reading the original Percy Jackson books. I got really excited.

Immediately after those jokes this became one of the cringiest books I’ve ever read. And I do not care to elaborate on that because I’m just happy that the book is over at this point.

Lastly, I wasn’t sure where to put this, but I read it, so now, you have to too. “‘Will, he said it has to be both of us,’ said Nico. Will hesitated at first, but an epiphany dawned in him, and his eyes went wide. ‘Together,’ he said.” After reading this, I immediately recoiled in disgust and went “UGH!” And there are multiple lines like this in the book. Absolutely horrible -7563/10. Rick, never allow another sentence like that into one of your books again. This isn’t YA. You can’t be throwing lines like that at me out of nowhere.

In conclusion:

I’ve seen people saying the criticisms of this book are the result of homophobia and… y’all no they aren’t. Most of the people I’ve seen criticizing the book are queer, including me! I’m tired of this idea that queer people just have to appreciate whatever representation they’re given without having any criticisms about it because at least it’s something. No! If Nico and Will were a straight couple, I’d still have the exact same critics of this book. I’m gay and it’s my godgiven right to dislike books that focus on gay people if the stories aren’t good.

Something that I do think is sad here is that Oshiro’s name is now on this substandard book forever. They’re a new author, and they don’t deserve that. Rick Riordan will be fine if this book isn’t received well, but Oshiro is less likely to be. That upsets me deeply as a queer writer myself. That sucks. I hate that. Go check out their books instead of this one tbh.

#okay you can yell at me now #the sun and the star #pjo #criticism #sarah reads

[utilitycaster]

I find it interesting that people see Ashton and Laudna and are like "They must be in pain all the time and are suffering" because Ashton and Laudna have the physical scars of their suffering. They are sympathetic to them. But they do not afford the same sympathy to Imogen, who is also suffering. It's not visible with her, so therefore, even though she has to actively repress other peoples thoughts and doesn't really get much sleep, she be fine Fine and therefore is OK. When she is very much Not Fine and Not Ok, just practiced at having to deal with it every damn day (at least, that's how I have interpreted Laura's RP. Please correct me if I am wrong).

I think you are correct about Laura's RP - it's quite obvious that Imogen struggles a lot with her powers. While I haven't seen it as much lately, there was also a lot of focus early on about Ashton, with a lot of headcanons regarding disability that I haven't seen as much lately - possibly because there's been nothing confirmed in canon - and it's true that the character design probably contributed to that.

Here's the thing though: early on? People loved focusing on poor Imogen and her headaches and how tiring it is for her to be around people and oh won't Laudna kiss it better...until Imogen got mad at Laudna. (And, to a lesser extent, when Imogen got mad at FCG, because that set off an alarm that Imogen was going to be played as a person with feelings and thoughts who might deviate from the set plan they had in their head for her).

I think a lot of people have decided who their favorite character is, and they pick that for all kinds of reasons. The problem is many of those people then say "my favorite character is correct, all the time, and here's the character who should be their romantic partner, and whether or not I have any scrap of sympathy for other characters is entirely conditional on whether they are worshiping the ground on which my favorite character walks and only serving my favorite character's story." Design doesn't enter into it. Backstory gets thrown out the window. In the end, that is their only motivator.

I realize how incredibly cynical this sounds but I have, on some level, done the math. I've spent all day saying "ok, so you're saying a warlock who has undergone severe trauma may have made made a pact under circumstances in which they could not freely give consent, and they have complicated feelings about this, and you are citing that as your reasoning for why they are the most sympathetic person here. Cool. So where's your meta about how hard things were for Fjord?" And notably, no one has taken me up on it, because they don't have it, because the facts don't matter. And it's not limited to that; I've been using Fjord as an example both because he often got a very raw deal from the fandom and because of the very obvious warlock parallels, but like, people were mad that time was spent on Keyleth's Aramente (because they didn't like Keyleth), or that the Mighty Nein didn't drop everything to take Caleb to Duasad Keef (a person only revealed at the time in the Explorer's Guide to Wildemount).

If it the reason were that Imogen doesn't have physical markers of her pain (which...in and of itself is not a great way to be given the sheer number of not-readily-apparent mental and chronic illnesses that do not have clear visible indicators), then you'd think the response to Imogen, you know, literally waking up gasping and crying from nightmares would serve the same purpose as a physical scar, and that would be taken into account. But it's not. Because it's not about who's experienced pain or trauma, visible or no. It's barely connected to what's happening onscreen after the first few episodes when they imprint on this character like a baby chick who sends dumb anon messages. It's "she is disagreeing with Laudna and pulling focus from Laudna and therefore she is bad."

Here is the thing in the end: the post I made that kicked this all off ended with a follows: "these [Imogen and Laudna] are two fully realized people with feelings and priorities of their own." And people found that inherently invalidating, because they are threatened by the idea that Imogen is a fully realized character with feelings and priorities of her own, because then she can be a fully realized character with priorities separate from Laudna's. She can be a character with feelings that are not positive towards Laudna. She can be a character who gets angry at Laudna. And they hate that, and it's that simple.

#critical role spoilers #tenser's floating discourse

[alltimefail-sims]

Not putting this under a read more, but it is long!

I'm popping in really quick because I feel like it should go without saying that supporting and comforting people who are racists or engaging in racist behavior and microaggressions makes you a racist as well.

For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, this is an ongoing issue regarding some members in the sims community and their past actions. Here's some background info.

Ignoring the problem won't make the actions which hurt others and the hateful, racist speech you enabled go away. Changing your blog name won't make it go away, putting out a notes app apology (which you later delete) won't make it go away, and filling your blog with "aesthetically pleasing" black sims isn't going to make it go away. Additionally, I want people to understand that someone can't really be sorry for something they don't feel bad for - and when you ignore public outcry and frustrations and allow others to comfort you or defend your past actions, you are not sorry. If someone tells simopeia, for instance, "Don't worry about these people... it's just cancel culture" or "you did nothing wrong" and simopeia does not shut that down... then she's not really sorry. If you're sorry, truly sorry, you would never let anyone say that what you did wasn't wrong - clearly you're just upset people are calling you out for it.

Racists (and all their apologists) have got to take the time and not only admit wrongdoing but also unlearn that shit, too. Really, all white people should take the time and do the work of constantly learning and listening to the voices of POC on topics of racism and inequality simply because it's the right thing to do. Racist ideologies, racial biases, the damaging history behind white "victim" tears, and the concept of privilege are just a few topics to start with and you simply can't expect black people to hold your hand the whole way. You don't get to say "I didn't know better" while people are telling you that you did something wrong and while you were on the internet, on social media, meaning you had access to infinite information/news/resources/and educated perspectives regarding racial injustice at the time. I mean, shit, there's literally trending topics and sections on social justice issues just here on Tumblr alone. It is not any person of color's job to explain their own oppression or societal injustices in general for you, nor is it their job to up and accept your apology at the drop because you "feel so bad" or "regret your actions."

You do not get to be mad when people don't like you because of that, and you just have to accept that you will always be associated with that behavior for many. It's a consequence, but one you brought upon yourself.

"Then why be sorry? Why try to do better if people won't just forgive me?" Because the goal in educating yourself about racial injustice is not so you can feel better about yourself or be liked or forgiven by others, it's so you don't continue to contribute to systems which oppress people who aren't white. The key point in this kind of apology is to understand that you aren't apologizing for you, you're apologizing because that is what you owe to people you have wronged regardless if they choose to forgive you or not.

And I've seen all the complaints and the asinine anons so let me be very clear: this isn't drama, this is a very real problem that black simmers don't have the luxury to ignore. They don't owe silence, forgiveness, complacency, or niceties to anyone who makes an active choice to make simblr (and the world in general) an unwelcoming place.

All that being said, if you are racist, an apologist and front-line defender for racists, or simply don't see why these things matter... this is not the space for you, and I won't be sorry about that. Please see yourself out, no exit announcement necessary.

#this all spurred from simopeia yes #and I have not spoken on this before but I feel I need to make my personal stance crystal clear #I'm sorry to all black and poc simblrs who have to deal with this shit and I'm sorry you have to defend yourselves - #whenever this topic comes up #but rest assured she's blocked on this page 👍 we don't tolerate racism or hate in any capacity here #racismtw #personal

[heavencasteel420]

I think it’s bad writing that Nancy is so unaware/dismissive of Jonathan’s struggles with money and class. It’s not bad writing that she has this issue at all; when you grow up solidly middle-class in a society that won’t talk about that class openly and treats poverty as a problem that individuals and families can and should overcome with hard work (or, worse, a moral failing), you’re probably not going to have a thorough understanding of what it means to be poor, especially at a time when Americans were (on average) less skeptical about capitalism.

The problem is the extent of her dismissiveness. She’s not just forgetting that he has to worry about things she doesn’t; she’s actively unwilling to hear about it in Season 3. Now, her initial comments about the “Oliver Twist routine” can be chalked up to anger in a trying situation (Jonathan, also angry, had just unfairly characterized her feelings of frustration and humiliation at work as entitlement, and they’d both just been fired), but her apology to him later specifically doesn’t address those comments; she just says she shouldn’t have compared him to their sexist bosses. Then, in Season 4, it never occurs to her that money might be an issue for him re: visiting her or going to college. It’s very possible he didn’t try to explain, but she’s smart, and it’s not like it’s never come up. The overall impression the show gives is that she has a gigantic gap in her understanding when it comes to this subject. She can be kind and understanding and perceptive elsewhere, but money changes everything.

So, why is this bad writing? Some people really are just like that. Yet I don’t think the way she is about this in S3 and S4 is consistent with her actions in S1, and, while there are hints of her lack of understanding in S2, it’s portrayed with far more delicacy and subtlety as compared to later seasons. In the hotel, she expresses hurt that he didn’t make a move in the month following Will’s recovery from the Upside Down; he expresses disbelief that a month was too long, given everything he had going on with his family. Probably she doesn’t get the full extent of what he had to deal with, but there’s a lot else going on: he does kind of use his responsibilities with Will to avoid engaging with social situations that he finds difficult or painful, she probably wishes she hadn’t gotten back together with Steve at all (as it ultimately made her and Steve unhappy) and feels like Jonathan making a move would’ve prevented that, and he’s probably confused/annoyed that she got back with Steve at all (because, while I’m sure he thinks better of Steve for his interrupted apology and monster-fighting contributions, he’s still seen far less of Steve’s good qualities than Nancy has). And none of this prevents Nancy and Jonathan from being friendly with each other early in the season. She’s joking with him! They’ve obviously been talking about books and music! They want each other to be happy!

And, elsewhere, throughout the first two seasons, she’s so open to understanding him. She initially thinks it’s stupid that she has to stay home just because Will is missing, but she still recognizes how much it sucks for Jonathan. She’s the only person who outright validates his feelings about Lonnie, even when he tries to deflect. She picks up on why he won’t tell his mom about the demogorgon and tells him that it would be okay if he did. She even takes it on faith that the photo situation isn’t quite as bad as it looks and tries to understand what was going on. She’s been to his house at the most fucked-up times. She knows and seems to respect his mom. She was cool with helping exorcise his little brother. It’s one thing for her to dismiss his concerns as an attempt to play some kind of poverty card in the heat of the moment, or even to not feel too bad about it later re: him because he was being such a dick, but you’d think that later she’d be like “ugh, I should have just called him a fucking prick. It was wrong to bring his family’s very real problems into it.”

So, what’s the point of making her so hostile to acknowledging that money is a real issue for Jonathan? There are a couple explanations that have to do with the show’s general weaknesses. It has a problem writing established romantic relationships where people aren’t having big fights, and almost everyone has become emotionally stupider throughout the seasons. But there’s another explanation that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Nancy initially spends time with Jonathan and then gets together with him because he takes her goals and concerns seriously, rather than encouraging her to let them go. This relationship is reciprocal in S1—she’s always putting her hand out for him, too, as he searches for Will. It’s less so in S2, due to Jonathan being underwritten, but she’s still coming through for him in a big way during Will’s exorcism. Once they’re together in S3, though, it’s all about what he can and should do for her, with no room even to discuss his concerns. And now the show is pushing the idea that maybe it’s Steve who’s right for her. Steve, who has many good qualities and genuinely cares for her, but who has never taken her perspective seriously and shows no signs of starting now. What’s the message here? That a woman may think that she wants someone who take her goals seriously and doesn’t always have to take the lead, but ultimately she’ll run roughshod over him and won’t respect him? That what she really needs is someone who thinks she’s great but will ultimately take charge in all situations? That compromise and communication aren’t possible in a relationship? We don’t need this. Not in 2022.

(Some side notes: Jonathan, in the last two seasons, contributes to this dynamic by not telling her shit and not asserting boundaries. If the show cared more than a minuscule amount about Jonathan, this could be something, especially if Nancy realized that neither guy was right for her, because Steve doesn’t really know her and Jonathan…has too much of his own stuff to deal with, I guess? I also don’t think the show’s really trying to make a point about classism, except in the most half-assed way possible. Finally, I think there is an open question about how much of Jonathan’s fear of leaving his family and spending money on college is based in practical concerns and how much is psychological, but I don’t think it ultimately matters—it’s a real problem either way.)

#stranger things #jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #jancy #i think it’s possible that the byers are doing sort of okay now #but Jonathan is understandably risk-averse due to the legacy of childhood poverty #and maybe doesn’t have a full picture of what’s going on #because even a world-weary teen doesn’t always know how finances work #if Nancy was annoyed with him for assuming the worst and not talking to his mom that’d be a little different #(I went through a period where I felt horribly guilty about costing my family any money) #(during what was actually one of the most financially secure periods in my family history) #(and no it was not coming from my parents)