#the opening gives me a fucking headache every time i just couldnt care less about these people LET ME OUTTTTT

[garaviel]

Had to delete all my fo4 saves bc a mod started misbehaving

#the opening gives me a fucking headache every time i just couldnt care less about these people LET ME OUTTTTT #nv and 3 had INTERESTING intros at least. 3s was long but you had the ability to establish your character and their effect on npcs #and nvs was short and snappy and worked well. stay and hang out w the npcs or skedaddle as soon as doc lets you escape #but 4 is the worst combo of long and boring and im playing as someone with no personality yet and whose goal i couldnt give a fuck about #and i want to make all my fo ocs again in here so i am doing this 4x in a row kill me #also they need piercings in here mhaire doesnt look like herself :(

[simpsiren]

lee taeyong x reader

“my baby dont like it when you come around”

description. a new guy in college asks you for help to get rid of his girlfriend and slowly falls for you instead through your heated times with him.

genre. ANGST, college au, cheating au, bold/ arrogant reader x shy taeyong

warnings. none? except for the fact that this basically about cheating and having strong emotional tensions with each other, slighty suggestive

a/n. hihii i always thought of doing a ff about their baby dont like it song because its been in my head for so long HAHA also the lyrics are just uHem but yeah so anyways buckle up because theres going to be a lot of angst and tensionn also i didnt notice that i wrote so much like damn aNywAys enjoyy!

you walk into class lazily, expecting the same thing to happen again. as you step into the lecture hall, your eyes immediately went to your seat. you sigh and push you glasses up before walking over.

“i swear when will people stop doing this?” you mutter to yourself, shoving all the gifts off your table, making it all drop to the ground and producing a loud noise. everyone’s eyes are being drawn to your direction. you roll your eyes as mark takes his usual seat beside you.

“that’s the most you got this week.” mark laughs in disbelief, looking down onto the floor. you flash a fake smile at him, making him laugh even more. “its so annoying. none of them even look good.” your eyes scan through the gifts on the floor, seeing one that actually looks decent. you pick it up and examine it closely. mark gets near you and does the same.

“ill keep this one. looks expensive.” you shrug, shoving the expensive looking silver necklace into your bag. mark scoffs, letting his body sink into his seat. “i love the fact that you only care about the value of the gift.” 

you click your tongue and stand up, proceeding to pick up all the useless gifts you received from the random guys on campus and walking over to the trash can, throwing it all away. you hear gasps and mutters around the lecture hall. you clearly couldnt care less, walking back, taking your seat and bringing out your materials.

“it cant be helped that youre the most beautiful one around here.”

“you think i dont know that? people do know that they shouldnt mess with me right? yet i need to keep up with unknown admirers and random texts of confession.” you let out a long sigh, as you rest your chin on the palm of your head, leaning onto the table. 

“you admit youre beautiful. your confidence is truly amazing.” mark comments. you kept your eyes to the front as you watch your professor walk in, along with a new guy you’ve never seen before. your eyes remained on the guy, watching him climb up  the stairs and walking to the seat next to you. 

your attention changes to the professor as she starts talking. but your ears immediately diverted its attention to somewhere else, particularly to the guy next to you. 

“why did you seat next to her? do you know how dangerous that is?” you hear the girl sitting behind him whisper. its no doubt that she purposely whispered loud enough for you to hear, wanting to make your blood boil. you ket your cool and focused on the lecture, taking notes accordingly.

“how so?”

“she’s hard to talk to. she only had mark as her friend and she gets pissed easily. her temper is the worst around here and she’s the most feared. a lot of guys like her for some reason and-” 

“are you done, sweetie?” you lick your bottom lip as you turned around the face the girl. you hear mark hiding his laugh with a cough. “if you are, i really suggest you shut your mouth before i sew it shut for you.” your eyes glared at hers, staring at her intensively. you knew that it scared her when she immediately looks away. you chuckle in amusement before turning back to the front.

you look to the side, to see the guy’s eyes opened wide, with an eyebrow raised. you smile softly.

“lee taeyong.” you whisper, reading off the keychain attached to his pencil case, nodding your head before paying attention to the lecture again. the guy coughs softly and faced forward as well.

the lecture was now over and you start to pack up. you take your time since you know that it would be hectic to get through the large crowd of students who are also exiting as well as being able to avoid bumping into any guys and have them confess their useless affection towards you.

you were however intrigued to find out what’s going on outside when you hear someone whispering about the fact that there’s an extremely pretty girl waiting outside the campus.

by then, only you and mark were in the lecture hall. you figured it would be a good time to step out and find out the reason behind all the talking outside.

as you and mark walk down the hallway to the entrance, you tilt your head as you see a crowd forming at the gate. you sigh, taking off your glasses and rubbing your temples. “how the fuck are we suppose to get out?” you turn to mark with your eyebrows furrowed.

“im sure they’ll move aside once you come in.” mark places his hand on your shoulder and taps it lightly before walking forward towards the huge crowd with full confidence. you swear you can burst any minute as the the mumbles of the people fill your ears even more as you walk closer.

the moment one person makes eye contact with you. their eyes widened and signal their friends to quiet down. eventually, the noise starts to lower down as you made you way through the crowd. eyes were glued on you as you follow behind mark. you swiftly clean your glasses with the cloth in your pocket and put them back on.

as your vision starts to become clear, you notice that the one standing beside the girl is the lee taeyong guy from ealier. you walk over to them immediately.

you turn your head slightly to the back, signalling everyone to get back to what they were doing, and as always, they obey and the crowd dispersed itself. you look back to the front to where the cause of the nuisance started.

you eyed the girl intensively, looking up and down, observing every inch of her. you had to admit, she is quite the beauty. perfect wavy brown hair, almond shaped eyes, nicely drawn eyebrowa and plump pink lips. her body in the black tight fitting dress is amazing. it curved her body in all the right places.

you look up to see taeyong and the girl looking back at you with a raised brow. you faked a wide smile. “i dont think its wise to meet your boyfriend right at the gates of school.. especially when you’re this pretty. id fuck you.” you lick your lips teasingly and chuckle soon after.

“bitch the fuck?” mark whispers. you let out a loud, cunning laugh. “or perhaps...”

your eyes immediately connected with taeyong’s. you saw the fear yet a tint of interest in his eyes. you liked it. as you walk past the couple, you run your hand down taeyong’s chest. taeyong freezes as the girl’s mouth gape open, pulling taeyong away instantly with her arm around his waist. “id fuck your boyfriend.”

your head jerks toward taeyong as you whisper into his ear, but loudly enough for the girl to hear. with that, you wink at the both of them and walk off. mark smiles kindly before following behind you.

“that was... wow.” mark says to you, taking out his phone from his back pocket. you sigh, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

“honestly who is dumb enough to meet their significant other just outside campus? they should be taught a lesson. and to think that taeyong guy is new.”

“his name is taeyong?”

you nod. mark nods back in reply as the two of you walk ahead to the small secluded cafe shop nearby where the two of you would usually hang out.

“i really hope i dont see him on friday. does he look like he’s the kind to skip lecture?” you ask, taking a sip of your tea while mark drinks his coffee.

mark shrugs, laying his back against the chair. “i dont think so? he has that ‘bad boy but obedient’ vibes.” you eyebrows furrow, but you slowly nod your head as you start to understand his view of taeyong.

“well i hope he wont let his girlfriend and him cause such commotion again. it took us so long to get out.” you whine, looking at the time on your phone. “we fucking got out like 30 minutes after! you know how much i hate getting off campus late.”

mark chuckles, running his hand through his hair. “we know, sweetie. we know.”

“dont call me that i swear-”

“suckass.”

“bitch.”

the two of you laugh happily and take a sip of your drinks at the same time before discussing about today’s lecture.

friday comes and you see the gifts placed neatly on your table yet again. you roll your eyes and slouch into your seat. you are now too tired to even throw away the gifts and you give up doing so.

more people soon start to fill the seats of the lecture hall. when the professor walks in, you notice that the seat beside you is empty. you purse your lips into a thin line and shrug your shoulders, thinking that taeyong isnt going to come today.

“taeyong. its only your second day yet you’re already late.” your head lifts up from your table to see taeyong standing by the door. you rest your chin on the palm on your hand as you were intrigued by him again like the first time you saw him on wednesday. why? you dont even know yourself.

taeyong rushes in and sits down next to you. what surprised you is the fact that the same girl is standing outside. the murmurs and whispers come again. you swear you can get a headache from it.

you see her blowing a kiss to taeyong, making everyone shout and fangirl over her before she leaves and the hall is back to being silent. you turn your head to taeyong, who immediately look back at you.

“is she that crazy over you?” you ask, taking out your pen and beginning writing notes. “yeah. but i fucking hate it.” taeyong replies. you chuckle lowly as your eyes remain on the projector yet you could see taeyong blinking his eyes, as if you had an effect on him.

“she seems rich. you’re after her money, arent you?”

“it’s because i cant get away from her parents.”

“hm its also for the money. i can tell.” you look down at his outfit, a lot of it are designer and authentic clothing items. you laugh softly with amusement.

“why are people scared of you?” your eyes immediately darkens and you slowly turn your head to face taeyong, staring down at him. taeyong sucks air into his cheeks and glances somewhere else. laughing quietly at his reaction, you smile softly.

“let’s just say i have a bad reputation. yet im popular for some reason. its seriously annoying.”

taeyong looks down at the gifts that you have thrown off your table. “i can tell. you seem bold and intimidating.”

you take out your phone to scroll through your social medias in boredom. “bold and intimidating huh? you’re an interesting one. i like it.” you glance at the clock when you hear people starting to pack up. you too start to pack up as well.

taeyong is still seated on his seat, writing down the notes he missed from talking to you. you figured that he couldn’t multitask like you. before you stand up to get out of the hall you turn to taeyong. again it looked like his senses were all heightened and he’s being wary of you.

you got closer to him, faces inches apart. he didn’t move at all. his eyes still on you. you smirk softly, licking your bottom lip as you eyed him narrowly like looking at a delicious candy.

“looks like you arent intimidated by me. i like you.” you whispers softly, laughing loudly as you see mark waiting for you at the door. you quickly got up and went to mark. as the two of you exited the hall, you look back to taeyong. he’s still glued to his seat, not moving, his mouth gaping open slightly.

“oi let’s go.” you hear mark shout as you notice him already walking away. you smirk widely and follow behind mark.

“im sorry what?”

“let me cheat on her with you.”

“no.”

you glare at taeyong as you take a bite from your meal. you and taeyong are having lunch on campus together and it never fails to have eyes glued onto you whenever you’re with taeyong. you’re only option is to hang out with tayeong since mark didnt come today. you have yet to ask him why.

“come on please! if she sees me with someone like you she’ll be too scared to get near me then i can finally break up with her.” taeyong whines, grabbing your cup of iced tea and taking a sip.

“protect your reputation, taeyong. look around. you being with me is already giving people a bad impression of you.” taeyong does what you say, looking around and realising that a lot of people were staring at you two. he turns back to find you picking on your food.

“you’re the only one i know around here. itll only be until me and her break.”

you eyes trailed up from your food to meet taeyong’s. you put your fork down and sat up straight, tilting your head slightly. “what’s in it for me?” people around you know very well that wouldnt do something without getting something back in return. it didnt take taeyong long to know that due to the constant whispers about you around campus.

“ill let you have the money she gives me?” taeyong says nervously. you click your tongue. you were definitely intrigued when taeyong says the word ‘money’. taeyong smiles sheepishly as he waits for your answer.

“ill do it.” taeyong’s face lits up in an instant. you however were smiling devilishly, looking down at your prey. “get ready though. im not an easy one.”

taeyong blinks his eyes rapidly. his eyes definitely says he’s intimidated. but his body says otherwise, looking calm and composed.

“i know. itll be fun.” your eyes widen slightly as you see taeyong smirking under his soft smile. you raise your eyebrows and chuckle in amusement.

“oh im sure it will, ty.”

“you sure that’ll work?” you roll your eyes and rub your temples. you lost count of how many times you have tried to explain the plan to taeyong.

“you said she comes here to have coffee before she picks you up right? she doesnt know we ended early today so we’ll probably run into her. then i’ll just flirt with you or something. just follow my lead.” taeyong nods slowly. 

you shrug your shoulders and let your body sink into the comfortable seat. you and taeyong are at a pretty high class cafe and it felt good to drink some quality tea instead of the cheap ones you have to put up with living as a broke college student.

you drink your tea as you eyed taeyong. he looks anxious, constantly looking out the window and sucking his draw despite his cup already being empty. you groan to catch taeyong’s attention. “you need to chill. have you never flirt with anyone before?” taeyong shakes his head, biting his straw. you gape your mouth and clap your hands.

“no way! you’re good looking. you cant tell me that snobby girl is the only one you ever dated.” 

“she is.”

you choked on your drink, proceeding you laugh hysterically. taeyong furrows his eyebrow. “you better find a better girlfriend once you break up with her ty.” taeyong frowns, running his hand through his silk soft-looking hair. “im not interested in dating.” taeyong mumbles. you only hum in response. 

looking up from taeyong, you see the girl walking down the street, about to enter the cafe. you tapped taeyong’s hand quickly, making him flinch. 

“okay she’s coming, act natural. like how we are now.”

“wait what i-”

you immediately peck his lips to shut him up. taeyong widens his eyes in shock, his body completely frozen at your touch. you smirked widely as you see the girl standing outside, with her eyes filled with anger and her hand clenching into fists tightly. you chuckle in an evil manner. “her she comes.” you whisper in a sing-song tone.

taeyong looks straight at the door as she finally steps into the cafe and stomps over to your table. you smile widely, putting in your innocent act.

“who’s she, tae?” taeyong doesn’t reply, looking at you. you raise both your eyebrows and roll your eyes. slowly, your fingers crawl up to taeyong’s hand on the table, touching his fingers as you jerked your head to her.

“a friend.” taeyong replies simply.

she scoffs. you ran your hand through your hair. “and why are you guys here?”

you click your tongue and chuckle lowly. you look at her, noticing that she’s eyeing you like a prey. clearly she’s jealous right now. with her arms crossed and eyes. you knew.

“we finished quite early actually. you dont mind me hanging out with him, do you? im sure you know he’s new and im his only friend.” you say softly, turning to taeyong and biting your lip seductively. a smirk slowly creeped up taeyong’s mouth. you’re surprised that he suddenly looks confident rather than the first time you two met when he was looking all intimidated and nervous around you.

“yeah, its true.” taeyong winks playfully at you. you only hum in response before looking up to the girl. she furrows her eyebrows in anger.

“hm you wanna hang out with him, right? alright ill leave.” you stand up and shove your phone into your back pocket. as you walk past behind taeyong, you bend down beside him and got close to his ear, acting as if you were whispering something as you stared at the girl. oh the look on her face. you laugh inside your head. you stand up straight and ran your fingers seductively behind taeyong’s shoulders before exiting the cafe. you could have sworn that you heard her growling under her breathe.

“you should have seen the look on her face!” you laugh crazily, slamming your hand against your thigh and taking another sip of mark’s drink. you were too lazy to buy your own.

“man why didn’t you tell me all this before?! i would have followed you guys and watch the shit go down.” mark whines. you grin widely and shake your head.

“im so sorryy.” you take in deep breathes to calm yourself down.

“taeyong must have been surprised when he sees you go into that mode. i remember the first time you helped me get my parents to not force me to be in relationships after they knew im “dating” someone like you.” mark chuckles.

“well he was shocked at first. but he surprisingly acted well.”

mark nods his head. you sigh as you look around the campus and you see taeyong walking with his headphones on. you smile softly.

“if you’ll excuse me, ill put on my ‘cheating’ role now and go to taeyong. text me alright!” you stand up from your seat and did you signature handshake with mark before speeding over to where taeyong was.

your hand loops around his arm as you pull him close. taeyonh flinches but relaxes when he notice it’s you. “so how did she react?” you ask, walking happily.

taeyong shrugs and takes off his earpiece, unplugging it from his phone and shoving it into his tote bag. “she was definitely jealous. she gave me a lecture on how i shouldnt be with you cuz you looked like a bitch.” you gasp sarcastically, placing your hand on your chest as you gaped your mouth widely. taeyong chuckles at your reaction.

“a bitch? what about her? tsk..” you roll your eyes.

“i can safely assure you that you’re way better than her.” you laugh in response.

“of course i am.” you wink at taeyong. “also what’s her name? you never told me.”

“soyoung. oh by the way.” taeyong stops in his tracks. you stop as well and let your arm off taeyong’s. taeyong digs into his tote bag. after awhile, he pulls out money. you smile almost immediately.

“she gave it to me. in a way to bribe me not to hang out with you.” you lean forward and snatch the money away and counted it. and boy was it a lot of money.

“she’d pay this much for you to stay away from me? she really is a bitch.” you slid the money into your wallet.

“too bad though. she’ll be seeing me with you more often.” you start to walk forward, but you stop and turn your head back. taeyong was standing still and staring at you. you see him snap out of hid thoughts and shake his head before walking towards you.

“sorry about that. let’s go.” you only shrug your shoulders as the two of you walk out of campus.

“you’re meeting her this sunday?” taeyong nods. you look around taeyong’s apartment. it wasnt big, big enough for two people but he’s the only one lving here. the decor is simple and he place doesn’t look messy. you figured it suited him well.

“we’ll be together before you’re suppose to meet her and have her see us together.”

taeyong widens his eyes and tilts his head. “that’ll be intense.” you raise an eyebrow and chuckle.

“isnt that what cheating is all about, ty?” you shake your head, acting disappointed. you hear him let out a ‘tsk’. you laugh.

“all right. looks like you’re taking me out sunday night. ill dress up.”

“dont you always dress up? your outfits upstages everyone when i see you on campus.”

you peck taeyong’s cheek playfully. taeyong jumps back at your sudden move. you smiled widely.

“you know i always look good.”

you suddenly feel taeyong pulling you and placing you on his lap. you tilt your head in confusion. “what’s this?”

taeyong’s breathing slows down as his eyes glaze your face intensively, as if admiring every inch of it.

“sounds weird but i find you very fucking hot.. its irresistible.” taeyong whispers, raising his hand to twirl a section of your hair around his fingers.

“oh and please book me a grab home. im heading out now so text me aites.” you stand up from the couch and wave to taeyong before leaving his apartment and closing the door.

as you were waiting for taeyong to pick you up on his motorbike, you look down at your outfit. you’re wearing a really short grey pleated skirt with a white lace bralette and a oversized checkered blazer as an outerwear. you don’t usually wear skirts often, but you did need to play the part of being revealing so as to “attract” taeyong’s attention. you put the quotations on attract but you dont even know if taeyong would be attracted or not. you slightly hoped that he would for some reason.

you see a motorbike coming to a halt. you walk towards it as taeyong gets off. he takes off his helmet, ruffling his hair as he went to the trunk. you blink your eyes rapidly as you’ve never seen taeyong look this good. you snap out of your thoughts when taeyong passed you your helmet. the both of you wear the helmets at the same time as you give way for taeyong to get on the bike. after adjusting a little, taeyong jerks his head to gesture you to get on.

“sit properly if you dont want guys staring at your exposed thighs.” taeyong says, his voice being muffled by the shield of helmet. you pull your down your skirt slightly and rest your hand on your thighs, waiting for him to take off, but he doesn’t.

“put your hands somewhere else. it’s dangerous.”

“ouh right right..” you look at your sides to find any handles to hold onto but there weren’t any. you stare down at his back. shurgging, you wrap your arms around his waist and interlock your fingers togther. taeyong turns his head to you and looks forward before starting the mottorbike and driving. you dont even know where you’re headed but oh well.

after a drive of about 20 minutes, you finally feel the motorbike stop. you look beside you and notice there was a restaurant. a very high class one. you gap your mouth open in disbelief as you get off the bike and take off your helmet.

“you have dates to these places often?” you turn around to face taeyong who sighs and gets close to you to take your helmet, nodding slowly.

you scoff, your eyes scanning the entrance of the place up and down. you feel taeyong’s hand snake around your waist. “let’s not go inside yet.” you raise an eyebrow.

“then where are we going?”

taeyong leads you to the entrance of the restaurant, where there are benches aligned. you nod your head once taeyong take a seat on the bench and sit doen beside him.

“the place is secluded so id normally see people making out around here.” taeyong comments, glancing at his phone to check the time.

“well there’s a bar a few blocks down so i guess that’s why.” you only nod in response, looking in front as you watch the cars drive by. it made you think of one thing. “wait what does her car look like-“

taeyong swiftly wraps his arm around your waist and pull you on his lap. you blink at him as he jerks his head to the back of you. you assume that she arrived. you arch your back and let your hair flow down on one shoulder before wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him into a deep kiss. taeyong’s grip on your waist tightens as you ran you hand through his hair and tilt your head to deepen the kiss even more. you felt taeyong’s hand roaming from your waist to your thigh, going up and down slowly.

for some reason, you were enjoying it. his lips on yours. you felt his hunger, neediness for you as he held you close as if to claim you’re his. you felt the same nonetheless. you liked it a lot. the two of you knew very well that this isnt acting anymore. it was real. the heat and needy tension. you didnt feel such a thing in a long time.

you suddenly flinch when you felt a hand on your shoulder, pushing you off taeyong’s lap. you turn around. “oh look who’s here! its soyoung.”

“the fuck did i just saw you doing with taeyong?” soyoung pushes you back further.

“i was about to have dinner with taeyong here.. but id figure it would be better to get free appetisers instead of having to pay for one.” you say confidently, brushing your thumb over you bottom lip as your eyes stared into hers.

soyoung scoffs and folds her arms. she looks down at your outfit. “you’ve been trying to seduce taeyong from the very start.” soyoung mutters under her breathe. you tilt your head as you grin widely.

“of course that’s what i’ve been doing idiot. taeyong really enjoys being with me though.” you turn your head to taeyong who was smirking widely and eyeing your outfit hungrily.

soyoung rubs her temples. with no words coming out her mouth, she turn away and walks to her car, getting into the driver’s seat and driving off. you slowly turn your head to taeyong who’s mouth is wide open. you laugh hysterically.

“oh my fucking god that was awesome!” you shout, clapping as you sit back down beside taeyong. taeyong smiles widely. “you really do have it in you.” taeyong compliments. you nudge his arm. “if you say you underestimated me i will beat you up.”

“please do. ruin me. every single moment i spend with you makes me fall and want you more. i love the dangerous side of you,”

#nct #nct 2020 #nct 127 #nct taeyong #lee taeyong #lee taeyong x reader #nct taeyong x reader #nct x reader #taeyong imagines #taeyong scenarios #nct imagine #nct imagines #nct scenarios #taeyong angst #nct ff #taeyong ff #taeyong fanfic #taeyong fluff #taeyong #taeyong x reader #nct taeyong ff

[strayficks]

EPHEMERAL 1 • JAEHYUN

2 . 3

Based on my dream, enjoy 💅🏻

Genre: smutty smut smut.

Pairings: bad boy!Jung Jaehyun × fem reader.

You walked towards him, the smell of the smoke getting stonger and stronger every step you take as you stopped beside his figure. Twiddling your cigar in your fingers, you asked him. Jung jaehyun is his name.

"Can i join?"

He looked at you, eyes dark like the night as you sat on table of the bench. Not waiting for a reply because you know damn well you would stay even he said no. You were curious. Curious about him.

He hummed, not paying any attention as he took a drag of his own cigarette. The smoke escaped his mouth as he breathed out, his ears and lips are red from the cold. You've heard a lot about him. The way your friends talk about him just adds to your curiosity even more.

You were supposed to be at home, it's like a routine that every night you sneak out just to avoid the chaos at home. It was nice being alone, but you were stupid if you didnt come up to Jung Jaehyun on your favorite spot.

"You're Jaehyun right?" You asked him, you knew his name already though. crossing your legs as your pleated skirt rides up to your thighs. You took out your lighter and light the end, taking a long drag while waiting for an answer. You need a distraction. You had a bad girl image and people think that you were bad to the bone. That's not entirely false though.

You still go to church and all, but there was that time when you fucked a guy named Mark. He was the sweetest boy you've ever laid eyes on. So pure and innocent. You jacked him off after church, you wouldnt be surprised if he took extra hours of bible study after you did it. And there was Jeno. He was a sweetheart. But he wanted a relationship and that made you freak out. At least you know that you give good head, right?

"Yeah. Who are you?" He answered, raising a brow at your direction as his gaze lowers to your bare legs. You chewed your bottom lip to contain a smirk. Damn, he was attractive. No wonder your friends had been talking about him nonstop. You heard about him being a bad boy, or him being in a gang and some made up rumor a bunch of girls made. But none of them told you that he was this handsome. Maybe they know better than have their target caught by you. Too late now.

"You dont know me? That's a shame." You cocked your head. Not having any plans to tell him your name. If he knows, he'll know your rep. It's not like you were ashamed, you couldnt care less about what people think of you. But you just need a release right now, hence, why you were wearing a skirt. Why you ask? Easy access.

"What do you want? And why the hell is a beautiful girl doing alone in here?" He turned to you. The moonlight illuminating his figure as he looked at you straight in the eyes. A smile etched on his lips as he took a drag of his cigarrette, flicking it to the ground and stomping it with his shoes.

"I have the same question, why are you here?" He sat next to you, the table creaking at his weight. You caught a whiff of his scent. He smelled so nice, like mint and cigar.

"All my friends are stoned. I'm not dealing with them right now." He chuckled, his deep voice filled the air as a smile ghosted his lips, his dimples prominent as he showed his charming pearly whites. Just like that he took your breath away, it's not the first time though, and feelings arent your forte anyway.

"You go to that College right? I heard a lot about you." You said simply. Letting him take the lead on the conversation as you blow out smoke, shaping your pierced tounge and forming your lips to make shapes.

"What kinds of things that you've been hearing?" He asked, even though his tone doesnt sound curious at all. You took a long final drag as you put out the bright red bud.

"Oh you know, They said that you like sleeping around, and that you have a big dick." Your voice got quieter as you reached the last few words, lacing it with as much seduction you can muster as the smoke reached his face. Of course you leaned closer, and he did too. Just like you wanted it. You had always like the control. The thrill and the excitement when youre being the person people think you are. Like a persona. You liked it, you know it's wrong, but you keep doing it. Solely for your own advantage. Pleasure mostly.

"How about we find out?"

In a swift, he had you between his arms. You uncrossed your legs as he peered into you, a satisfied smirk on his face. He looked at you like he knows something you dont. He looked at you like he knows everything that's going on inside your head. To be honest, you were intimidated. It's unlike you, but you were too turned on to give a shit. Not when the guy is Jung Jaehyun.

He looked at you for a long moment before he cursed again and ran a hand through his hair. You wanted to do that, too.

But instead, you got out of his grasp, dropping to your knees in and reached for his belt buckle. You undid it before he could protest and then reached for his semi-erect cock through his boxers. He was big, thank his parents. Hell, thank his grandma. It had been months since you had gotten some big dick.

"Wanna see me swallow your cock, Jae? All of it?"

His cock behind his boxers swelled in your hand. The muscles by his lower abdomen tightened. His eyes zoned in on you as you leaned. in to his bulge and pressed an open mouthed kiss to it, feeling him pulse against your lips.

"Fuck yes, and i dont even know your name yet."

"They better live up to their words." You muttered to yourself as you reached for his waistband and began tugging it down, releasing his dick.

Sweet fuck, now that's what you could actually call a glorious dick. Standing erect and thickly throbbing in the air from a trimmed patch of dark pubic hair, it was a vision to behold actually, it was a vision to beswallow.

Looking up and locking your eyes with him, you watched as Jaehyun watched you wrap one hand around his cock before slowly bringing him to your mouth. You opened up wide for him and actually heard your jaw click as you opened it far enough to fit him.

And then you took him in.

The hiss from Jaehyun's lips was the sexiest thing on this planet. As your mouth wrapped around his pulsating cock and began sucking on it, his hand came flying to your hair and instantly knotted itself in it. Hot breaths and low curses spilled from his lips. You swallow as much of his finely veined cock as you possibly could - and then some.

"Fuck, you're so good." He grunted harshly when your other hand cupped his heavy sac and fondled it. His grip on your hair tightened and almost gave you a headache if your body hadn't been flooding with freak juices and adrenaline.

Was it possible to be this turned on by a stranger? Maybe it was just a dick-crush.

As in, this dick was quite possibly becoming your favorite dick you've ever deep-throated, and you hadn't even finished him off yet completely.

You Wonder what it would feel like inside of you...

Almost as if reading your mind, Jaehyun pulled you off his cock with a harsh curse before he gripped your arm and yanked you up against the table, turned you around and pushed you against the table. You braced yourself against the cold wood and then sucked in a gasp when you felt his hands come to your skirt, yanking it up. A shiver went through as he then grasped your thong and yanked it down, instantly seeking out your wet folds and pressing down on your clit.

Like electrocuted, You jolted and bit your lip to suppress a loud moan when he began rubbing it aggressively, bringing you headfirst towards an orgasm.

The very next second, you felt him slip a single digit inside you. God, you were so fucking ready. You shamelessly ground against his finger in and out of you. His lips found the ball of your shoulder and began kissing it, his tongue feeling scorching against your skin. You were dripping wet, so close to coming, you could taste it.

"Now, Jaehyun," you begged him breathlessly when you felt yourself begin to spasm, closing around his fingers. "Now."

As if you shared a telepathic connection, he understood what you were trying to say with your vocabulary that had been reduced to only one-syllabled words, it seemed.

His fingers slipped out of you, and as you expected (or more likely had hoped), he packed a condom in his pocket, and at the sound of the foil tearing, you swore you almost did too. A few short seconds passed, but then you felt him; his blunt tip now coated in latex pressing against your wet folds, gliding against you with one target, and one target only.

"Oh, fuck." When he entered you, you swore you heard angels sing somewhere and you could barely stand as he continued sliding into you, his thick and long length finding solace inside your warm pussy.

Once he finally settled, you had never felt so full in your entire life - you even felt pain as he stretched you. A harsh moan then crippled your throat as he reared back and thrust inside you again, his cock slamming into You. You arched against him and threw yourhead back, felt his hand slam on top of yours as he continued to thrust into you, his breath right by your ear.

"Fuck, baby.. fuck." His breath was labored like yours, but yours completely vanished when he struck a spot inside you that made your vision dot black.

"Fuck, Right there!" With a short scream, you clenched around him, feeling him fuck you hard through it. His balls slapped against you and the slippery sound his cock made every time your pussy swallowed him, it was euphoric.

You moaned and reached your hand over your shoulder, finding his head and tangling your fingers in the thickness of his hair. His lips latched onto my throat and left you a mark to remember him by, once our little adventure was over and your body had been sated.

You could feel yourself reaching another Orgasm, could feel him also swelling inside you, chasing his own release. One of his hands came around your waist and kept you firmly standing. Every nerve inside you got fried as his cock ravaged you and had you biting your tongue not to scream again.

People are going to hear you, but like you actually gave a fuck.

With a roar that surprised even you, Jaehyun exploded and came generously inside you. You felt the muted spurts of his cum through the condom and that pushed you over, had you shrieking and shaking as you came apart all over him. You both rode through but then exhaled hard, Jaehyun resting his forehead in the crook of your neck.

Finally, after what had to be minutes, Jaehyun pulled his semi-hard cock out of me and took a step back, allowed you to turn around and lean against the table. Your eyes met and you both couldn't help but draw on our lips.

Jaehyun chuckled and shook his head at you as he began removing his condom, tying it before throwing it into the garbage can near you. Sorry to whoever will find that. He then buckled up while you still stood and collected yourself, lightly trembling.

Damn. You felt like you had become paraplegic at least.

"So.. did you cum?" Jaehyun chuckled when your voice died.

You lied trough your teeth as you mustered up the courage to compose yourself. Smoothing down your skirt as you looked at him straight in his brown orbs, a coy smile on your lips.

"No."

#jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun #nct #nct 127 smut #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct smut #nct u #nct u smut #nakamoto yuta #kim doyoung #seo johnny #lee donghyuk #mark lee #moon taeil #jung yoonoh #kim jungwoo #wong yukhei #dong sicheng #lee taeyong

[babyshawwn]

Say It First (smut)

MASTERLIST

Word count: 5.6k.

I had just gotten off from yet another busy day of rehearsing with the guys for the up-coming tour around Europe and though I was excited to get back on the road again, I was feeling rather exhausted and a slight headache was beginning to nag me. 

As much as I loved what I did and my insane schedule was mostly fun to me, I couldn’t deny that working non-stop and traveling the world left it obvious traces on me when I forgot to relax once in a while as well. 

As Mike gave me a ride home, I was too tired to listen to his endless rambling about drumsticks and music, but I managed to nod at the right times and seem somewhat interested in what he was going on about. 

I stared out of the window as cars passed beside me in the dark while thinking about what the plans were when I got home. I was currently living with my best friend – since she had gotten kicked out of her dorm for smoking weed, which wasn’t really a surprise to me – but it was nice for once having someone around when I was home. 

I had known her for years and years and I guess she made me feel less lonely. Suddenly I wasn’t all alone with my thoughts, I actually had someone to share them with, someone who never seemed to judge me. 

Since it was a Saturday night, the chances of her going out with friends and dragging me along was rather high but I didn’t really mind it, though. Her friends were pretty cool and I always had a good time when being around them. 

And really, I wanted to spend as much time with her as I possibly could. Alone or with others, it didn’t matter to me. I felt more comfortable when she was around, a little less tense and I lately, I’d been craving that feeling more than I usually did. 

Mike turned into the familiar parking lot as I reached for my bag, thanking him for the ride home before jumping out of the black car and headed towards my apartment. As I unlocked the front door and stepped into the hall, I couldn’t hear any signs of her being home. 

Sadly.  

No loud music, no chatting in the distant nor any noise from the tv in the living room. The lights were out too and her coat wasn’t laying on the floor, I noticed, since I wasn’t tripping over it on the way in as usual. 

She was great, rather messy but great. 

I figured she had already left for town, half drunk on a bottle of vodka with a friend in her arm, singing along to some indie song, I’d never heard before. 

A slight disappointment reached the surface of my stomach as I pushed the warm hoodie over my head and carelessly let it fall on the floor. Moving my head to each side, desperately trying to ease up my tense muscles, my ears suddenly caught a faint, unfamiliar, rather strange noise coming from the end of the dark hallway. 

At first, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it but as I walked further towards the source of the noise, it sounded like a small sob coming from y/n’s room at the end of the hall. 

A sudden heat flashed to my cheeks as I realised it was a soft moan and the panic began pumping in my veins as the noises grew wider. 

Who was she hooking up with? That dude from last Friday night? Maybe the one from the Drake concert?

As I wondered about it, a sudden tug started in my chest and forced a sharp pain to spread within a few seconds. The thing was, I was completely smitten with her. I probably always had been. From when we met each other as kids, into our younger years starting school and all the way till now. 

I had always convinced myself it was a silly, little crush that would pass at some point but no, ever since she moved in and we practically spend each waken moment together, I found myself falling all in her. 

Her long, wavy hair and those warm eyes. The way she bit the tip of her fingernail when she was fully focused on something to the way her smile could light up a room when she walked in. She was without a doubt the most beautiful person, I had ever come across. And I was all about her.  

We had always been the complete opposite of each other. She was wild and adventurous and I had a boring habit of playing it safe and thinking too much. 

She just jumped into it without any regrets and I had always been insanely attracted to that side of her. 

Her spur of the moment decisions that either got her in trouble or ended up being another great story to tell. She had intrigued me at the beginning simply because she was everything I wasn’t and even after years of knowing her, she still took me by surprise, she still caught me off guard. 

And the way she acted around me, that was without a doubt the best thing about her. She was fun and always innocently flirting with me, her spontaneous ways and weekend get-aways made me feel young again, free. Maybe even a little careless. 

And the way she was always making sure I was okay and always made me feel better whenever life was hard to handle, I loved that about her. She always put other people before herself.

She had always been there, with absolute no judgement, she had always taken care of me when I was falling apart at three in the morning. 

One night, she had found me sobbing my eyes out on the floor in the living room and I had been terrified of her reaction to it, because I had never let anyone see my weak sides before. And all she did, was hold me. She held me to her chest the entire night, knowing it was all I needed her to do. She was and had always been my rock. 

And though all of this had been going on for years, I still had to suffer when she brought home guys and hooked up with them in the room next to mine. I still had to suffer when she asked me advise about guys or had me help her pick them up at bars and clubs. And I guess, I just did the same as her. To hide the pain. 

I’d never said anything, though. She would probably have a mental break down if she knew how I felt about her and our friendship would probably become too awkward or uncomfortable to deal with. 

She didn’t do boyfriends. Heck, she didn’t even do love. And she definitely didn’t do either of those things with me. 

I heard it again, another moan from her bedroom, this time louder and a little husky. My body was tense and I felt the urge to bite my bottom lip hardly as I continued hearing sensual whimpers from her room. 

“Fuck” she gasped with a sore cry as I felt the heat rush down my spine.  

I knew I shouldn’t be listening to her having sex – it was just weird - but somehow her sweet groans forced my body to freeze completely outside her door. 

“Mhh, Shawn.” 

Wait, was that? 

My mouth dropped completely and my eyes widened fully as I heard my name escape her mouth. 

What the heck was going on? 

I creeped over to her door, which was cracked just a tiny bit open. Silently, pushing it to open just a tad more, I felt an uncomfortable feeling reach the surface of my stomach, knowing I was fully invading her personal space in this very moment. I was just confused and a bit curious to what was going on. 

I peeked through the tiny crack of her door while keeping my balance with my hands on the doorframe, trying to make as little noise as possible. My eyes caught her heated, red face as her head was resting against the white headboard and her eyes were tightly shut while she was fingering herself roughly. 

Once again, a massive wave of heat flushed my face and I felt sweet, sensual tickles between my thighs as I watched her pleasured face and heard the slight whimpers from her pink lips.

She was fully naked and her perfect, plump boobs were slightly bouncing as her fingers continued pumping in and out of her wet core. She was dripping – leaving traces on her black sheets – as the squinting sounds from her fingers colliding with her wet centre filled my ears. 

I felt myself grow hard at the sight as my toes curled when another loud moan escaped from her perfect, little mouth. My body was tense and the throbbing feeling in my pants grew stronger each second, I stood here, peeking on her like this. 

She was gasping for air and her chest was covered in small drops of sweat. Her legs were spread wildly apart and her toes were curling the sheets from the sexual frustration she was clearly giving herself. 

Her hair was messy and sticking to her sweaty neck as she threw her head back and whimpered once again. 

“Fuck, Shawn…” She cried as she added another finger and forced them in deeper this time. 

Drops of white liquid ran out of her as her fingers twisted inside her throbbing core. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I realised she was fantasising about me; all alone in her bed, wet and horny. 

And so fucking beautiful. 

I was beyond turned on already as my hard cock pressed against the tight fabric of my jeans. I was aching from hearing her raspy voice moan out my name, throbbing from the idea of her finger-fucking herself to the thought of me, growing harder with every whimper that fell from her trembling lips. 

She was so wet, so ready and all because the idea of me.

A warmth rose in my dry throat and somewhat of a loud groan suddenly sounded from my mouth gaping wide open. 

“Shawn?” She asked as her eyes popped wide open. 

The loud sound from my mouth drew her attention to the crack at the door and shortly after, her wild eyes fell on my shadow, hiding cowardly behind. She didn’t remove her slurred eyes from mine but she continued sliding her fingers in and out roughly as she used her thumb to add more pleasure against her slippery clit. 

I was a little confused, a tad uncomfortable and pretty fucking heated from the surprise of how she carelessly continued masturbating after she had caught me watching her from a distant. 

Her tongue slipped across her pink lips as she hummed sweetly while her fingers spun inside her and made her strain a muscle as a shot of pleasure made her exposed body tremble. 

She locked our eyes together and bit roughly into her bottom lip, knowing she had caught the boner hiding in my pants. I scratched the back of my head as I tried removing my eyes from her, but somehow, they always ended on her body again. 

“y/n… I-I sh-“ I stuttered as the heat spread further. 

I felt a sharp yank between my thighs as I rubbed them together to get some sort of friction to my cock throbbing for her. Sensually, she licked her lips and lowered her eyes to my hard dick. 

“Oh Shawn.” She hummed, tilting her head with a tiny smile. 

“Arr-are you?” I stumbled over my words as I felt a tight knot in my stomach.

“Thinking about you?” she asked teasingly with a massive smile on her face. “Yes, Shawn. I am.” 

I swallowed as her playful words sent a warmth, tickle feeling down my spine. 

“You like what you see?” She breathed, bucking her hips to fully expose her dripping core to my lusting eyes. 

I couldn’t find the words to speak, but nervously I managed to nod at her teasing question. I had thought about her naked on many occasions, but this vision was much better than I could have ever imagined it in my mind. 

Roughly, she removed her wet fingers from her core and put them into her mouth, sucking her juices with a moan. 

“Fuck.” I breathed as I watched her mouth moved around her fingers. 

“You want to taste too?” 

“Please.” I gasped out as I felt a tremble. 

She held out her fingers – the fingers – and then I didn’t waist more time on watching her. Swaying across the room, I kneeled on the white bed as she watched me carefully while I put her fingers into my mouth. 

Shutting my eyes, I let my tongue lick her as her sweet taste exploded in my mouth. She groaned as my tongued played with the tip of her fingers and I forced a rough suck every other second. 

I had imagined this moment in my head for such a long time, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the fact, that this was actually happening. At last. 

Suddenly, her hand tugged into my curls and forced chills down my back. She removed her fingers from my mouth and let them slide down my damp neck, leaving wet traces behind on the way. Her fingertip followed my clenched jawline as she sent me a tiny smile. 

“So you were thinking about me?” I asked, stuttering over my words. 

“I was.” 

“What were you thinking about?” I found myself asking as another flushed reached my already steamy cheeks. 

“Oh Shawn, always so shy.” She whispered as her thumb slipped to my lips and pushed them from each other. 

She bended forward for her mouth to reach my ear and I held my breath when she came closer. 

“I was thinking how this…” Her hand stirred to between my legs and brushed against my hard cock. “Would feel inside me.” 

I whimpered as her fingers moved around in small circles against my most sensitive area. Biting hardly into my bottom lip, I tried somehow coping with the massive amount of sexual frustration she was giving me with her gentle touches. I pressed my heated neck against her face as she let out groan from the contact with my skin. 

“Is it bad that all I want to do is fuck you?” I asked her as she continued sending waves of frustration through my body. Moving her fingers into my hair, she pushed my head further against her mouth. 

“I’ve wanted you to for so long.” She admitted. 

“You never told me.” 

“I thought I gave you plenty of signs.” She whimpered desperately, feeling my breath against her skin. 

Thinking about it, maybe she did, but as always, I was too much of a pussy to do anything about it. I was too scared of misreading the signals and ruining the bond we had grown strong throughout the years. 

“I didn’t want to fuck up our friendship.” 

“Really, Shawn?” 

“What?” I asked confused at her statement. 

“Friends don’t look at each other like we do.” She muttered as her eyes locked on mine. 

For a second, her stare was vulnerable as she forced in air between her lips. I smiled lovingly at her, knowing she was exposing her heart to me in a moment of weakness, as I let my hand stroke her burning cheek.  

“How do we look at each other, then?” I dared her, raising my eyebrow playfully.  

“Like we want to rip each other’s clothes off as soon as possible.” She gasped back, biting into her plump, bottom lip. 

“Then do it.” I blurred out, taken back by my own eagerness to feel her skin on mine. 

She laughed at my comment, probably just as surprised at my sudden boldness before she let her hands wander down my back, reaching for the hem of my white t-shirt and slowly pushing it over my head. 

Throwing it at the floor in her messy room, her eyes lingered at my naked chest and I watched as they slowly widened by the sight that met her face. Her fingertips were suddenly on my skin, tracing slowly down my chest to my stomach to the beginning of my happy trail. 

I threw my head back and sucked in air as her hands unbuckled my pants and she forced them halfway down my thighs. Her mouth began kissing my lower stomach and she used her warm tongue to leave sore hickeys on my body, teasingly avoiding the area throbbing for her the most. 

I forced my fingers into her messy hair and dragged her head closer to my burning skin, too eager and impatient to feel her properly. 

I reached down between her legs to rub my palm against her wet centre as she moaned against my skin when my hand made contact. She was wetter than I expected her to be. Soaking actually and already dripping into my palm that barely brushed against the sensitive area between her quivering legs. 

“Take your pants off completely.” She told me, removing her hands from my body. “I want to taste you too.” 

Her whispering words punched out the air in my lungs but I did as she told me. Licking her lips, she tilted her head at the sight. 

My cock was hard and ready for her warm mouth, just the thought of those plump lips around the tip of my head was enough to push me further towards the edge. She lowered her body as she wrapped her left hand around my length and forced a groan to escape my mouth. 

“Shit!” I breathed as her mouth attached itself to my tip. 

I was extremely sensitive from watching her play with herself. She closed her lips around my tip and twisted a few times, making me squirm in pleasure from her wet mouth caressing me. She moved her mouth fully down to the root of my cock as her tongue licked along with her soft yet firm sucks. 

I bucked my hips to meet her mouth as she moved further down and flicked her tongue to add a tad more pleasure. 

“Fucking hell.” I sobbed. 

My eyes lowered their stare as I caught her looking towards my face while sucking my dick and I couldn’t help but let out a tiny smile. Using my hands in her hair, I pushed her head towards my face and pressed my nose against her burning cheeks. 

“I’ve spend so many nights thinking about this.” I breathed, my thumb softly gliding back and forth her lips. “Are we really doing this?” I asked her. 

“Yes. Now shut up and kiss me, Mendes.” She gasped, demanding as always. 

I leaned forward and crashed my lips eagerly into hers. She kissed me back hungrily, tugging her fingers into my hair and pushing my lips closer to hers. Her tongue spread my lips apart and forcefully, she slipped it into my welcoming mouth. 

She tasted better than I imagined her to, better than I had hoped. 

I groaned against her mouth as my hands began rubbing her tender, pink breast. I felt her writhed against me as my thumbs pinched her sore nipples.

Her hands moved to my back and she forced her nails roughly into my skin as my fingers continued adding pressure on her hard nipples. 

“Fuck Shawn.” She muttered into my mouth as I felt her gasp desperately for air. 

My hands slipped down her bare back and as I reached the curve of her soft ass, I slapped her harshly to tease her. She broke the kiss as she screamed loudly by the pleasurable pain I was coursing her.

My fingers grabbed around her ass, yanking and rubbing her roughly as she threw her head back and moaned loudly. I attached my lips to her throat and began sucking as I continuingly slapped and squeezed her ass to make her moan out my name. 

She was big and soft, plump and round; the best ass I’d ever laid eyes on.  

“I’m obsessed with your fucking ass.” I growled against her sweaty skin as I heard a faint laughter from her mouth. 

“I know.” 

“You know?”

“I’ve caught you looking multiple times.” 

Another heatwave floated my face as I felt a slight embarrassment of how obvious I had apparently been. Heck, an ass like hers was impossible to avoid looking at. 

I pushed my hips against her stomach, letting her feel my length digging into her skin just to tease a bit more. Her lips went to the soft spot underneath my ear and began kissing down my neck. 

My hands trailed down, rubbing her bum one last time and then I let my fingers drag along her soaked centre, my thumb brushing lightly against her clit. 

“Are you just going to tease or are you actually going to fuck me?” She whimpered. Her voice was desperate and cracked over at the end. 

I placed my hands on her hips, forcing her to sway her back bend over in the bed. I settled myself behind her ass pointing upwards completely exposed to me as she was bending over in front of my body. I leaned forwards and kissed gently down her spine as she pushed her ass back to touch the tip of my cock. 

“Not yet.” I told her as my hands found her boobs hanging from her chest. 

I twisted her nipples between my fingers as she whimpered arched her back to cope with the tension she was feeling. I grabbed her inner thighs, my fingernails sinking into her skin, as I spread her legs apart and exposed her pussy entirely.  

“Please Shawn. Don’t be such a tease.” She begged in a whimper. “I want to feel your cock.” 

“You’re sexy as fuck. I can’t stop looking at you.” 

“You can look later, okay? Just get to fucking work.” She hissed back at me. 

I rolled my eyes at her as I rested my palm on her sweaty back. Without giving her a warning, I pressed myself into her in a hard move. She whimpered while I slid in deeper and filled her out. She was tight, a perfect form for my dick.  

Arching her back, she pushed her ass further against to hips to meet another of my thrust into her slippery core. 

“Fuck, Shawn. Yes!” she cried as I bucked my hips and slipped in deeper.

“Shit, you’re fucking tight.”

“Fuck Shawn, you’re so big.” She whimpered at the pleasure pain she was feeling. 

I slowed down my moves as I kissed the top of her ass carefully while she adjusted herself to my cock. She used a few slow thrust to get used to the feeling of my cock inside her.  

“Better?”  

“Much.” 

I started moving in and out of her again, slowly at first then adding more speed to the pace of my thrusts. My hands gripped tightly around her inner thighs as I pushed her to meet my slams, wanting to fill out as much of her as possible.  

“Harder, Shawn. I can handle harder.” She moaned, her head tilting back to look my way. 

Her face was red, pearls of sweat where sticking to her forehead and her mouth was gaping wide open. 

She was insanely beautiful; even with messy hair, falling into her eyes, sweat dripping down her naked body and those red cheeks.

My eyes lingered at her for a couple of seconds as I felt my heart increase slightly. I let my hand slide up and down her bare back as a smile escaped from her heated face. 

“You’re just so fucking breath-taking.” I told her, biting into my bottom lip. 

After spending a couple of seconds admiring her body, I remembered her begging words and picked up the pace. Her entire body moved as I fucked her roughly from behind, her boobs bouncing, her ass vibrating, her thighs trembling. 

I forced my hand under her stomach and used my thumb to add more pleasure to her high as I continued to fuck her roughly. Arching her back, I heard a few swear words slipped from her panting mouth as her entire body began to shake. 

I felt her pussy tightly around my cock, slipping perfectly along to my slams as we shared a groan whenever I hit all the right spots inside her. 

“Fuck, Shawn. I ca-can’t much longer.” She cried out as I filled her out perfectly.  

I pushed myself as deep into her as possible and then I stopped moving. I attached my mouth to her the curve of her ass, kissing her lower back as I twisted and turned my cock inside of her. 

I leaned back to sit on the bed as she followed along and was now sitting on my lap with her back towards my chest. Her hands reached back and she forced her fingers roughly into my hair to tug my head to the side. 

My hands moved to her chest and my palms covered her boobs entirely as she began moving again. Throwing my head back, I felt her ass move against my thighs as she picked up the pace and left me whimpering. 

“Fuck, I’m about to cum.” I cried in her ear, attaching my lips to her sticky neck.

She placed both her hands on my thighs, riding me harder and faster and I felt her entire body bounce from her quick yet rough movements on my cock. As she cracked her hips slightly, we both reached our bursting point. 

Riding our high, her fingernails dug desperately into my thighs and sent a pain through my body. 

“God Shawn.” She moaned as I released inside of her in a loud groan. 

I pushed her head to the side and exposed her lips to mine. Attaching them together and panting into each other’s mouth, I felt my load drip from her wet and well-fucked pussy. 

It forced a smile to appear on my lips. 

Riding the last of our orgasms, we both collapsed on the bed beside each other; eyes shut, hearts pounding and gasping desperately for air. I spend a few minutes gaining back somewhat strength to open my eyes again. 

She was lying beside me, her hair sticking to her neck and her body fully exposed to my eyes. She was covered in hickeys from my mouth wandering wild and trails from my nails digging into her skin. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight. 

I let my fingers stroke her damp cheek as she opened her tired eyes and looked at mine. A tiny but exhausted smile ran across her lips. She kissed the tip of my finger as it ran over her trembling mouth. 

“Can you believe this actually happened?” I asked her. 

“Not really. I feel like I’ve been giving you signs for years and… nothing.” She laughed back, shaking her head lightly. 

“I know.” I leaned forwards to kiss her warm lips. “You know I need to rethink everything at least a hundred times.” 

“Well, I’m glad you finally came around then.” She joked as her fingers brushed my arm. Her eyes flickered around the room as she bit her bottom lip. 

“What?” I asked her, lifting her chin with my thumb to meet her stare. 

“Do you regret it?” She asked and my heart dropped to my guts. 

I lowered my head to allow my nose tip to stroke her cheek softly while my hands searched for hers underneath the covers. I wrapped my fingers around hers and let my thumb stroke her knuckles. I nipped to her lips a few times before finding her stare again. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this. For you.” I told her as I moved my head closer to her face. “There’s no way I could ever regret this.”

I stared into her eyes as I leaned towards her and kissed her naked shoulder, my fingers still wrapped around hers. My nose brushed lightly back and forth her sweaty skin as my mouth planted a few sweet kisses on her chest.

“Me either.” She whispered back, shyly. 

I had never seen her like this before – completely emotionally exposed - but I liked that she finally let down her guards. She usually never did. 

We stared at each other for a while, embracing and stroking each other, our lips nipping to each other once in a while.

“Shawn?” 

“Yeah?”  

“Say it first.” 

“What?”

“Can you say it first?” She asked me. “I need to hear you say it first. If you actually do, then say it first.”

I tilted my head towards her as I took in the expression on her sweaty still heated face. Her eyes gave her away within seconds and I suddenly understood her strange outburst. 

“You know I do, right? I always have.” 

I knew she had been burned before, I’ve watched her fall apart in front of me, but I wasn’t aware of how much pain it - apparently - had cost her. How deep the scars had apparently cut into her. 

“I guess, I just need to hear you say it...”

“I’m crazy about you. I always have been. I want to be with you, y/n.” I told her, my fingers removing tots of messy hair from her face. “And I won’t hurt you. I promise.” 

The relief on her face from hearting those words made a slight nag appear in my chest. The fact that she needed to hear me promise her, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, meant she had been burned badly before. 

Someone had left obvious traces on her heart that she was still trying to somehow mend. I wondered how anyone could ever hurt something as beautiful as her. 

“I want to be with you too, Shawn” she smiled back to me. “I think I’ve always just loved you.”

And though I had always seen her as the bold one, I knew she was risking her heart by saying those words aloud to me. And in that moment, I realised, she had never given those words to anyone but me. She had saved those words for me and I had saved them for her. Entirely. 

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes smut #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction

[flawlesscharice]

Para || A Glimpse || 

Who: Charice, Trey Watkins 

Where: Charice’s House, Manhattan 

When: Saturday Evening 

What: We get an update on Charice’s life through a glimpse of her Saturday night

Charice was always working, always taking care of the kids, always taking care of her friends but tonight she had no one to take care of but herself. The kids were spending the weekend with Dylan and she had finished up a few meetings and emails early last night so she cracked open a bottle of wine, picked up her phone and made a call. Dating was never going to be her forte. She was never going to be great at it. She was a full time working divorced mother of 5 kids and she was just 28. She didnt have time for a man. At least that’s what she told herself when Trey Watkins walked into her life. He was a 6’2 tall drink of something model who she met during fashion week. She took one look at him and knew he was trouble. And after giving in to some shameless flirting and a kiss or two in Paris, she figured she would never see him again. And then he sent flowers to her office. And when she didnt respond, he sent more flowers until she had no choice than to tell him that she was a busy woman. She had fun with him but she had kids and a job and an ex husband. She didnt have time for a boy toy. He’d made it clear right off the bat that he wasnt a boy toy and he wasnt looking for some play thing either. He wanted pure, unadulterated love. Something that Charice had forgotten that she also wanted. So she gave him a chance. They went on a date and that date turned into a second date, which turned into a 7th date which eventually turned into them dating for 6 months. He was different than she was used to. He was kind and gentle and so funny she nearly peed whenever he made her laugh. And he respected that she put her kids and family before anything else. She was nervous to introduce her kids to a man when all they had known was Dylan. That was who they had seen her love and be with but with Trey it was different. She was nervous about how the girls would react. Especially Mariayah who still had a mean streak. So she was waiting for the right time to tell them that she was dating and falling for a man that wasnt Dylan. She would wait until a weekend when they were out of town and Trey would come over and spend the days with her, either in bed, on the floor, or wherever they landed after they got handsy. She thought things would slow down after dating for so long but nothing was slowing down, not yet anyways. And even better, her friends liked him. Santana wouldnt stop talking about how hot he was and Brittany would turn red whenever Charice would share the scandelous things they would do together. Even Chris was drooling whenever she brought him around. So everything was perfect. Except now, it wasnt. Because as much as she tried to forget that two people she loved the most had shut her out, she just couldnt. Trey came over and in an hour they were stripped, out of breath and sweating on her living room floor. Charice licked her lips and laughed, her eyes closed. “Am I a bad mom? My kids play on this floor.” “We’ll clean it up,” Trey smirked, sitting up and leaning against the couch. He gently caressed her bare leg and kissed the top of her knee. “You want some wine?” “Water,” she asked with a nod and watched him get up, not a stitch of clothes on him. She smiled in content, his muscular back glowing from the lights of the fireplace they were laying in front of. He looked just as good coming back as he did walking away, his confidence oozing off of him as he sat back down and handed her a bottle of water. He started to rub her feet, a small groan coming out of her mouth. “God, you treat me so right.” “Damn right,” he teased. “So wait, what was it you were texting me about yesterday. Your cousin was back in town?” Another groan. “Please,” she sucked her teeth. “I dont even know where to begin.” He nodded. “Well you told me about her dating your brother in law, which I’m pretty sure is incest.” “Shut up.” “And you told me that he was cheating on his fiancee with her and she disappeared but that was  it.” Charice nodded, taking a sip of her water. “That’s pretty much it. Except she came back. She was in Vegas or something with her ex-girlfriend and has been there for a year. I’ve been trying to talk to her, to reach out to her, anything. Cedes was like my damn sister. I loved her more than anything and she just dropped me like I was a bad habit… and then she had the nerve to come back and reach out to me for forgivenss. You believe that shit?” “Yeah… I do.” “What?” “Charice, you said her leaving was heartbreaking right?” Charice nodded. “So why wouldnt her being back be the opposite of that? Why wouldnt it be something that makes you happy? She left, yeah. And it was a bad bet but wasnt it you that told me you were over all the drama?” Charice say up, removing her feet out of his hands and cocked her head to the side. “This isnt drama Trey. They cut us all off because they’re fucking selfish. Look you dont know Sam and Cedes like I do. Their shit is nuclear and it sucks everyone in even if their lives are fine. And then we try and fix it and get our lives fucked up too. I’m over it. And I’m over them leaving and coming back and acting like shit’s clear now. Half of me is okay that she left. Like them being together is all kinds of bad news. They’re just the worst for each other.” Trey nodded, not meaning to upset her. He licked his lips and pulled her back over to him. “Come here, looking all mean and small. I’m not trying to step on your toes or nothing, okay?  I get it. Family is hard and they’re assholes sometimes but what do we have without family.” “More money, less headaches, less drama,” Charice listed, giggling as he kissed her neck. “No dummy, you’re supposed to say nothing,” he teased. “We need them, even if they are a mess.” Charice shook her head. “It’s her fault I have all these crazy ass white people in my family now,” she said, trying to hide her smile. “You love ‘em…. Nah but speaking of family… ” “Oh no,” she said, knowing where this was going and grabbing her blanket to wrap it around her. “Charice.” “I know where you’re going and you know where I stand.” “No, I know where I stand. I know how I feel about you. I know that I sneak around like a high schooler just to see you because you think the kids arent ready but Charice I feel like I only have half of you. I told you when we first started that I’m not in this for games and some ass every once in a while… no matter how good the ass is… but I want all of you. Even the parts you try to hide.” He reached over and tucked a stray curl out of her face. “You dont mean that,” she shrugged. “Men always say they want all of it. All of this but in reality all of my bullshit is insane. It’s not just kids it’s so much more.” “And I want it.” “No you dont.” “Hey,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders and forcing her to look at him. “I’m not him. I’m not your ex husband who’s gonna hurt you and lie to you and hide from you. Look, you’re not the only one in unfamiliar waters right now. I’m not used to this. I’m not used to falling for someone this fast but what I do know is that I want all of you. If you really think the kids arent ready then fine, I’ll back off but I need you to think about the fact that it might not be the kids that arent ready for someone new.” “What?” she frowned. “I’ve moved on with my life. I’m ready for someone new.” “Yeah in your life but maybe not in your kids life. Look the last thing i want is to step on any toes. Talk to your ex and see how you feel about introducing significant others to the kids. Then think about what that might look like. Really think about it because once I’m in there’s no going back for me.” Charice sighed, searching his brown eyes and kissed his lips. “You’re too fine to be this smart.” “Rude,” he shook his head. “I went to school for engineering okay? I just happened to get discovered making some extra cash on the side. It’s not my fault.” “Ya damn right,” she nodded. “It’s your parents fault. And God. God did this.” Trey smiled, his perfect white teeth and dimples making Charice swoon. “Stop looking at me like that woman.” “Like what?” “Like you wanna sit on my-” She cut him off with a kiss, smiling against his lips as he kissed her back. “Bedroom. Now.”   She got up, dropping her blanket and practically ran to the back of the house. “Yes ma’am,” he muttered to himself, getting up and following after her.

#para: A glimpse #dyfam rp #ooc: have I used trevante yet #am I insane for not using him #because damn he is fine

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

Negan Imagine ~ Behind your Back

While Negan fancies the reader, she turns against him after the line-up and secretly begins to help Rick.  Everything works fine till one day…

The cold lights in the hallways of the sanctuary flickered above you while you made your way to the hall as your thoughts circled around something. Around something Negan had done in that one night a few weeks ago. Hell, you knew that he did those things but you had never seen him doing it. How he went along the people sitting in line just waiting for him to kill one. His minute long monologue that still let a shiver run down your back. The moment his bat stopped before one man and finally crushed down on him. Negan’s chuckle before taunting the woman who had probably been that man’s girlfriend. The second kill, how the dying man talked to his sobbing wife before Negan bashed also his skull to mush. God you could understand their leader for threatening Negan and it made you feel deeply sorry as you saw him sobbing as Negan tested him with his own son. The thing between you and Negan had always been weird. He had have a thing for you from the first moment you had came here and since that day it had just become stronger. You weren’t one of his wives, nor a regular savior, he didn’t even make you do that ridiculous “I’m Negan” thing and points were something you didn’t have to care about even though you still worked. Of course, Negan was attractive and charming and over time you had build some attraction up to him but his deeds kept you far away from falling for him and the thing he did in that night hadn’t just asserted your doubts it had turned you against him and on someone else side. Rick’s. Every single week you brought something to them when the Saviors visited. They took something and you brought something back. Medicine, Food, sometimes even ammunition. You hadnt have to worry about the points all that costed, the only thing you had to worry about was to take that much that it didn’t attract attention. And to not attract that attention was also another thing needed. And that was still pretending in front of Negan as if that night hadnt changed something for you. You walked through the hall, trying to find the stall with the things you needed or better, with the things the people in Alexandria needed. Your glance wandered over to one stall, a table covered with different things and some interesting things among them. You walked over to it, already seeing things that could be usefull.  “Number”, the woman sitting behind it asked without looking at you before she turned around and her eyes began to glare slightly. “Oh right you don’t need points”, she said with an annoyed undertone. “So, what do you need?”, she asked still annoyed. “Just looking around, gonna tell you when I’ve found something”, you said, trying to sound somehow friendly. Of course you could get whatever you wanted to, but you still worked here and didn’t sit around the whole day doing nothing even though you could. You weren’t one of his wives. You looked at the things on the table, a few pallets with tablets laying onto it that attracted your attention. “I’ll take these”, you said grabbing the tablets before she grumpily nodded and you rushed out of the hall.

You made your way back to to your apartment while you opened your bag to let the tablets fall into it as you heard a way too familiar voice. “There she comes”, you heard Negan chuckling singing. You looked up feeling hot and cold mixing in your body as you hastily let the tablets fall into the bag while you saw him walking chuckling closer.  “Shit you alright? You look as if someone shocked the hell outta you", Negan asked as he walked even closer before he took your hands and laid your arms around his neck before he slung his arms around your waist. “No you just caught me unexpected, everything is fine”, you said while he looked smirking at you. “Really? ‘Cause I think I just saw some fucking tablets slipping down in your bag”, he said raising his brows and nodding to your bag while your head worked at full speed trying find an answer. “Just had some headache the last days and wanted to make sure I have something in my room in case it comes back”, you said while you saw some concern in his eyes while he slowly nodded. “Alright, but you know that you can go to my Doc whenever some shit is off, right?”, he said still looking at you. “I know”, you said while he began to smirk slightly again. “If I wouldnt know that you’re that damn hard to get I’d suggest another way to get that damn headache once for all out of your head”, he said smirking at you while he chuckled as you huffed slightly but chuckled a bit with him. Yes, for him you still were the one who was hard to get. You couldn’t stand him for his misdeeds but at least he didn’t force you to do anything with him and that gave you a bit room to move and the security that you wouldn’t have to kiss him or even sleep with him to manipulate him. You didn’t do this before and he would have noticed if you would have suddenly thrown yourself at him and would have defer to all his flirting, so the the only thing you needed to do was being not too distant, playing a bit along and showing him a bit affection here and there. “We’re gonna go to Alexandria tomorrow, you gonna come with me again?”, he asked while his glance still didn’t leave your face. “Yeah”, you answered, glad that he was the one asking you. The less you had to ask for coming with him, the less he would notice why you actually wanted to Alexandria. “Fucking great”, he said grinning at you before he huffed slightly. ”Would fucking love to stand here longer with you but I gotta get some shit done”, Negan said scoffing before he looked back at you and smirked again. ”But tomorrow Darling, we got the whole damn day”, he muttered smirking while pulling you a little closer. ”I hope so”, you said with a slight grin while you actually hoped to be able to spend the least time possible close to him. Negan’s smirk mixed with a smile before he let go of you. ”See you tomorrow”, he said chuckling before he licked over his bottom lip, still looking at you before he turned around, swang Lucille over his shoulder and walked around he next corner. As soon as he was out of earshot you breathed relieved out, his touch had build up a tension in you and now that he was gone, it slowly washed out of your body. You swallowed before you walked back to your room, knowing that tomorrow would probably be a stressful day.

The sun slowly rose upon the horizon as the truck you sat in drove over the roads on its way to Alexandria. You fumbled on the fabric of the sack on your lap knowing that it should be empty just like the ones of the others, but it wasnt. Inside were the tablets from yesterday, a bit ammo and some more salves and medicine you collected over the last days. It was less then the most times, but you had to be cautious and couldnt take big things that would attract attention. And you couldnt get guns. Not because they were too big, a small handgun would also do its job, but these weapons were something that would blow your cover. They were way too fastidious kept record of to steal one of them, the only thing you could somehow get for Rick was the ammo and that was already hard enough. But as far as you knew they were able to collect some guns on runs over the last weeks and you were glad that you could at least somehow help them. You looked up and saw Negan turning from his passenger seat in the front around to you and a few of his men that sat with you in the back of the truck. “Gonna be there soon”, he said before his glance wandered over to you. “Can’t wait to see if we’ll find something fun there”, he said smirking as he winked at you before he turned slightly chuckling around. You drove for some more minutes until you heard the motor of the truck stop and you walked behind the other Saviors over to the door. As you finally stood at it you glanced down, only to see Negan holding his hand smirking up to you. “You know, I’m a gentleman, Sweetheart”, Negan said smirking while you took his hand and hopped out of the truck before you felt his hand laying onto your lower back. You still wanted to jolt up when you felt his touch, but held yourself back to pretend that you were comfortable with his closeness. ”Rick! fucking Rick, hope that you got some great ass shit for us”, you suddenly heard Negan call out, pulling his hand away from your back as he walked over to Rick. You looked around as you saw the sign of Alexandria once again. ”Mercy for the lost. Vengeance for the plunderers.” And every time you came here with the other Saviors, knowing that they’d take a whole lot of their stuff again, that motto let a shiver run down your back. ”(Y/N)? Come on we got stuff to do”, you heard Arat hiss as she walked past you and ripped you out of your thoughts. You walked inside and looked around trying to find one of them to give them somewhere here the stuff you collected. But before you could do that, you heard Negan walking over to you once again with a big smirk on his lips. ”Jesus, its fucking beautiful here”, Negan said while walking closer and slipping an arm around your waist. ”Can’t keep up with your beauty, but damn thats some greatass place”, he said looking around before not only you but also him saw someone. ”Kid”, Negan said pointing at Carl then showing him with his finger motion to come over. ”Would you show her the new fucking supplies your Daddy got? It really tickles my balls what new shit I get here! Almost like fucking Christmas!”, Negan shouted amused as he looked at the Saviors looked around. ”Yeah, I’ll show her”, growled Carl as he began to move towards one of the houses followed by you. ”Oh and Sweetheart? When you see something you like, fucking take it”, Negan said and winked at you as you turned around and just nodded. You followed Carl, knowing that he wouldnt take you to the supplies before you could get the stuff you had with you to a safe place. Every second you were with it out here, was a second you could get caught.

You walked into one house, stayed directly behind Carl while he walked up the stairs and lead you into a bedroom before he closed the door and turned around, knowing that now no one was able to hear you. ”How have you been?”, you asked while you began to pull out the stuff you brought with you. ”It’s getting better”, Carl said before you heard his voice raising again. ”Also because of you, thank you, really, not just from me, thank you from everyone, you’re a big help”, he said before you looked smiling up. ”Thats the least I can do”, you said while Carl smiled slightly at you. ”So I got you some medicine and ammo, hope I can get more the next time”, you said pulling out the last palette with tablets and began to get the things into a dresser, just in case someone Savior would get the idea to go through that house. ”Alright, I’m gonna show you our supplies now, just that Negan doesn’t get whiff of anything“, he said before walking down the stairs with you as you suddenly heard a loud voice. ”What the fucking shit is that crap here”, you heard Negan yell, his voice filled with anger. Your head snapped into the direction his voice came from before you walked hastily over to a window to see what was happening outside. ”Rick, are you fucking with me?! Shit what the fucking shit”, Negan screamed before you could see the reason for Negan’s anger. Ammunition, all the ammunition you had brought here over time, thorough stacked in front of him while you saw how other Saviors carried more to him.
They shouldn’t have found it, but they did and now you just didn’t know what was going to happen. Your heart began to harshly pound against your chest as you saw the anger rising in Negan’s face. ”You push me Rick, you fucking push me”, Negan growled while you saw his grip around Lucille’s handle tighten. ”You collected and hid all that shit, all that damn fucking fuck shit?! I fucking thought that I made it clear in that one fucking night but I guess I was wrong. You’re even dumber than I thought Rick”, Negan growled and you could see from far how his eyes gleamed in anger. „Every single one of you fuckers comes here now!“, Negan yelled before you saw the people walking shocked towards Negan and Rick.
 „Shit“, you could just mumble before you saw Carl walking past you. 
„I cant leave them alone“, he said before he looked swallowing at you as he opened the door and walked outside, followed by you. 
„Darling, come over here, you wont believe what these dickheads did“, Negan said as soon as he saw you.
 You walked over to him, not knowing what to do as you saw the people looking swallowing at the ammo on the ground.
 „Tell me which one of you pricks gathered all that shit. And tell me now, or I’m gonna kill each one of you“, Negan yelled while you felt a cold shiver running down your back. 
Silence. 
Only silence while you saw the people around you trembling as the Saviors raised their guns to their heads.
 „I begin to lose my fucking patience and damn, you don’t want that to happen“, Negan growled as you realized that you needed to do something or all this would turn into a bloodbath.
 Your eyes met Carls who just shook his head seeing what you were about to do. ”It was me”, you suddenly said while Negan’s glance went irritated over to you. ”Sweetheart, thats not the fucking moment for jokes”, he said slightly chuckling before you swallowed and raised your voice again. ”I’m not joking Negan, it was me, I brought the ammo here”, you said determined even though your heart was hitting that hard against your chest now, that it felt like it would burst out of your ribcage in the next moments. You saw Negan’s glance changing as he realized that you said the truth, his eyes narrowed while you saw his jaw clenching. ”Every single one of them on their damn knees”, he growled while he turned around to the other saviors before he turned back to you. ”In that house. Now”, he growled with a way to calm and dangerous voice before you realized that this could be the only way to not make everything worse. You walked swallowing into the house while you could hear Negan’s heavy steps behind you until he walked past you into the living room. You looked at him, seeing him realizing more and more that all you had done with him in the last weeks, every single soft touch, every single nice word, every single smile had been played. He breathed heavily before he looked up to you and you saw the anger boiling over. “You’ve been betraying me? You’ve been fucking betraying me? After everything?!”, he asked yelling while you could see some pain between all the anger flinching in his eyes. But before you could answer he continued. “For how fucking long?!”, he yelled clenching his jaw. “After that night, that one night were you bashed their friends heads. I couldn’t get that out of my mind anymore”, you said tensed up. “I needed to! They killed an assload of my men!”, he called heavily breathing out before he punched the wall growling. “I fucking knew I shouldn’t have taken you there”, he growled to himself while he clenched his jaw harder. “It’s not just that night, it’s also the iron, all the other fucked up things you do”, you called out while you kept looking at him. “Punishment. Punishment is necessary”, he growled through gritted teeth. “No the only thing it is, is disgusting”, you growled back before he breathed heavily out. “Fucking fuck”, he growled running his hand through his hair still completely overpowered through what was happening in these moments. You knew that you hadn’t just hurt his pride or dignity with betraying him, you had hurt something worse and something that was surprising that it was actually still left in a cruel man like him. His feelings. He wouldn’t do anything to you, you knew that. But you weren’t sure what he would do now to the people outside. He looked up his glance still mixed with anger and pain while he clenched his jaw as his breath became heavier again and the anger heated up before he took Lucille and swung the bat over his shoulder. “Guess I gotta start all over again”, you heard him growl before he rushed past you as you gasped and you knew in these moments, that he the only thing on his mind right now was to hurt you as much as you had hurt him. “No Negan”, blustered out of you as you saw him turning dangerously chuckling around. “Oh Darling, be glad that I just bash one and not all of their fucking heads”, he said before his chuckle vanished and a cold mask laid all over his face as he stepped out of the door and you could see into the faces of the people kneeling in front of the house before the door shut. You felt a lump creating in your throat before you heard the first bloodcurdling screams that let shivers run down your back and urged tears into your eyes. One of them would die. One of them would be beaten to death just like their friends in this one night. One of them would have to feel all the pain Negan wanted them to feel. And all of them would lose another part of their family. Your hands balled into fists, your jaw clenched as you felt the sadness being overflowed by the anger that build up in you along with the determination that reached its highest point as you heard how the last loud sob turned silent. Everything in your head was muddled and torn except one single thought that stood irrevocable there and was the only thing you knew for sure:

One day they would rise up and there was no doubt that you’d be with them.

@dasani-saraai @myrabbitholetoneverland

#The Walking Dead #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead imagines #the walking dead prompt #the walking dead request #negan the walking dead #the walking dead preferences #the walking dead negan #negan imagine #negan imagines #negan twd #twd negan #reader x negan #negan x reader #Negan #twd requests #twd reader insert #reader insert #twd imagine #twd imagines #twd prompt #twd request #twd preference #twd #thewalkingdead-imagines #twd carl #twd rick #twd preferences

[extremelyaverageincrediblynormal]

I think its time to update this thing with everything that has been going on. A lot of beautiful things have happened the past 6 months, but when i look back, its a supercut of mental breakdowns and self harm. Surprisingly, i havent seriously thought about killing myself, but I am definitely putting a strain on my mental health, and i dont think i saw the signs until i was 4-5 months deep. until i was at the hospital. until i was crying in my work bathroom every day for 5 days. and even then, i still tried to keep telling myself if i give up, i am mentally weak. i still tell myself that know, as i try to get myself out of this situation. so lets explain the situation. I will try my best to go back to may and bring you up to speed.

I started working at this job... lets call it, the hellpit. I started in February, and they agreed to give me time off in april to go to japan. I was pretty happy about that, but i remember about a month and a half in, i seriously considered quitting, and that seemed early. I was annoyed at the lack of organization with the products we were selling, and the extra stress it put on the front of house employees. The job ITSELF wasnt so bad, it was simple tasks that were sometimes fun. But the customers were the worst. This is a private club, so we see the exact same people every single day, and i work in a half grab&go half diner. And we get treated like we are nothing. most of the time, we dont even get a “hi” or “thank you”, but we are required to smile and be polite, tell the customers to have a nice day. One girl got fired because she didnt smile enough and was kind of a quiet person. oops. But then i got my best friend hired, and i started enjoying my days a bit more. Japan gave me some perspective on life and i was running off that energy for about a month. I was also moving at the end of may so that took most of my focus. I was then asked to work in the poolside snack bar/ actual bar. I was excited, it sounded like a fun, fast-paced environment. I feel dissapointed writing that because I was so wrong. It makes me feel sad.

I would be working closer to the actual manager. Now, there is drama going on with that. there was 2 managers, R and C. R had been there for 13 years, had close relationships with the people in my workplace. she was even sister-in-laws with someone there. And then C comes in, and sees that there is a lot wrong with how the cafe is running. she wasnt totally wrong, but she has a large personality and isnt afraid to shit talk people. she came in and tried to change everything, and I dont know exactly what happened behind the scenes but R left on a 3 month stress leave, came back for 3 weeks and quit. If that doesnt tell you something about what it’s like to work along C, ive got more. 

So this poolside hellbox was usually run by some other managers in the club, but C insisted on running it herself, putting her employees in it, etc. it was going to be the best year the poolside hellbox has ever seen. it was small, but it needed at least 3 people to run properly. Sure, it could be slow on cold days, but on hot days, it was a nightmare if there was only 2 people. Because we had to do everything; open, stock all the food, take orders, make orders, and pass them off, and close. it was truly exhausting and our days were always 9-10 hours, no breaks. She also stopped putting 3 people, brought it down to 2, usually 1. it was incredibly stressful. I tried to talk to her about my concerns, and she completely agreed. so i thought things would change. they did not. after some time, i injured my rotator cuff, and that lasted about a week until my entire back seized up and i had to go to the doctor. i was physically burnt out. and she had to work one of my shifts because i was medically ordered to take a break from work. writing this is making my back hurt.... funny how that works. anyways, i came back and she told me about how HARD of a day she had when she had to be in there for 6 hours. I thought to myself, good, she will finally understand. She never did. put me back in it, working 6 days a week, no tips, no breaks, 9 hours. there was a day where the air quality was so bad that my coworker with asthma expressed how ill the smoke makes him feel and that he cant breath, and she made sure he felt guilty for not telling her before hand. and then when we werent even making money that day, she blamed the people upstairs for not making the call to close it. i cant believe it.

the PSH finally closed for the year, but she wanted one more day to make a bunch of money. So there is another key player here. J. J has the title of supervisor but doesnt always act like it. C expresses how she feels about J often, and shes the only one who has the power to do something about it but does she? No. 

So on this day, C is not at the Bad place, so in any other situation, J would be in charge. But C insisted that I text her and listen to what SHE said. and she said she wanted to open the PSH 2 hours early. J said it was too busy and we needed coverage. I listened to J. The fact that we didnt open 2 hours earlier really upset C. she was so mad at J for making that call, and i was upset that i was put in a position where i had no idea who to listen to. 

So that was the day i decided i couldnt be there next summer. I needed to leave before the PSH opened again. 

And since then, there has been a lot of hostility towards me. I remember C telling me that people might not like me because she likes me, and people dont like her. that should have been my first red flag to get the fuck out. I honestly thought she was a woman of her word, and that sticking with her was the right decision. she made me all these empty promises, like i’ll be getting a raise in September, or that she has big plans for me and my career there, or even that we were getting a company-paid night to reward us for all our hard work. and what has unfolded? nothing. 

since then, it has been a series of bullshit. she comes down, yells at everyone and everything thats wrong, comments on how terrible the communication is, and how this doesnt look right, and how stupid everything is and how no one knows how to do their job, “except for you, this isnt directed towards you.” I have a feeling it may not be IN THAT MOMENT, but im sure it has been directed at me at some point. Shes manipulative, and takes advantage of people for her own personal gain, and completely lacks empathy. If it doesnt affect her, why does she care. If someone cant help her, why does she need them. that is her mentality, and she is a psycho. she wants complete control, but does nothing to change anything. She wants people to do certain things, but never tells them. She is by far, the worst manager i have ever had. not to mention she puts out the schedule thursday night-friday for the upcoming monday. so, yes, 3 days in advance. I feel betrayed, i feel disspointed, i feel burnt out. 

She also made a sarcastic remark about how i could “never disappoint her”, which was the last straw for me. That was the day i decided i need to get out of there. 

So, thats whats been going on at work, but behind the scenes, i have been unraveling. My manager has qualities that remind me of my mother, and not in a positive way. it’s very triggering in a way, and when i feel like i have disappointed her, i have the same feeling i would get when my mother would be disappointed in me. when she is completely unsympathetic to me being burnt out, i remember all the times my mom told me to stop feeling sorry for myself when i would cry. so i deal with daily triggers that i have a hard time shaking. there are also some things that go on in that club that really disturb my core values. I am a caring, inclusive person and these people treat us like dirt. I think most people are used to it, i even feel like im less sensitive to it as time goes by. 

But i have been having mental breakdowns at least once a week. they were worse back in june or july, i remember completely trashing my room, throwing my books around and slamming my book case on the ground, and the colapsing and hyperventalating on the ground until my roommate found me. I remember scratching myself until i bled. I remember running to a park and crying in a field. I remember crying on the bathroom floor naked. I remember not being able to get out of bed. i remember punching a wall so hard i almost broke my fingers. this all happened withing 3 months. and after the big explosions came depression and giving up. I cry in the work bathroom often, i dont care about being on time, i dont care about my job, i dont care about my health or being in pain. i am in a constant fog, im exhausted and angry and i have a beautiful partner who loves me so much and i cant feel any of it, because i think i shut down everything so i can make it through the day. I’ve gained weight, i hate my body again, and i feel stuck. i feel ugly, i feel useless, i feel trapped. i need help. i need help getting out of this. i am so exhausted mentally, i do nothing with my day because im too tired. i am so incredibly miserable, i get those depression headaches every single day. I have a surgery coming up that i am not willing to compromise. maybe ill take some extra days off then? look for a job? rest my mind and prepare to job hunt and grind for a job that i might not hate? maybe i should leave now, go work at starbucks, see if i can get the time. maybe i should find a part time job, but will my manager hate me for it? does she already hate me for it? i just want to survive. i just dont want to get to the point where suicide feels like the only option again. I am not there yet, but its on the horizon, and that’s why i am scared.