#the teufort times

[mstophattii]

Your weekly Team Fortress 2 newspaper is here!

AN INTRODUCTION

hello! Im Hatty, and this is the The Teufort Times (or TTT for short)! This is a newspaper about Team Fortess 2! Here we shall discuss community topics, updates, patch notes and balancing! And some more surprises. Feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated.

TODAY'S TOPIC: SNIPER

For some time, the TF2 community has talked a lot about sniper lately. Some say that he's perfectly balanced, while some say he's flat-out broken. Today, we will be exploring both sides of this argument.

THE PRO SNIPER SIDE:

quick-scoping takes a lot of skill.

if you let sniper throw his jarate at you and then hit proceed to hit you with the bushwacka its a 100% a skill issue.

he has low mobility and a low health pool.

THE ANTI SNIPER SIDE:

he can kill you from across the map.

quick-scoping can instakill 5/9 classes in the game. (and most of the times 8/9)

the jarate and bushwacka combo is busted, being able to one-shot 7/9 classes is not balanced in any way shape or form, specially for a class thats supposed to be weak on close quarters combat.

MY OPINION ON SNIPER:

look, im not an expert on sniper. He's my least played class. BUT, i have some ideias:

DAMAGE NERF APPLIED TO THE SNIPER RIFLES WHEN IN CLOSE QUARTERS:

so, my first ideia is that the sniper rifle would need a minimum distance to deal its full damage. When that minimum distance isnt met, the sniper rifle's damage would get chopped in half. And when that minimum distance is met, the rifle's damage would be back to normal.

BUFF THE SMG'S:

self explanatory, just give them a firing speed and damage bonus.

JARATE NERF:

i really dont know how to balance the jarate, but maybe a 15% slower deploy speed? 15% might be too much, so im not sure.

CONCLUSION:

Well, like it or not, sniper can be unfun to fight against. He isnt busted, and the outcry about sniper being broken was definetly influeced by the bot crisis, but he isnt the most balanced class in the game by a long shot (that title would go to demo or soldier in my opinion).

but in the end, we will always love this stupid australian bastard.

THE OCTOBER 19TH PATCH NOTES

TODAY'S WORKSHOP HIGHLIGHT:

The Conspiracy Cover-Up! (just click on the name to go to its page!)

The item was submitted by JPRAS, So Cute!, Sky and estraram.exe! Go check em out!

If you want this removed, just contact me on tumblr or discord (mrtophattygj).

TODAY'S PUZZLE:

The answers will be released tomorrow. (If its blurry, just click on the pic)

CONTACT INFO:

mrtophattygj - discord

MrTopHatty - gamejolt

If you have any topic sugestions just contact me on these social medias and i'll surely hear consider it!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, I WORKED MY ASS ON OF THIS AND I TRIED MY BEST!! PLEASE REBLOG!! AND IM SORRY FOR THE BAD ENGLISH ITS NOT MY NATIVE LANGUAGE AND IM TIRED RN!! SORRY IF ITS BAD/SHORT OK THANKS TAKE CARE!!

#team fortress two #tf2 #team fortress 2 #team fortress #video games #tf2 newspaper #the teufort times #TTT

[nasty-hellbread]

20may2020

"Dummkopfs stole my corpses!"

+ edited version which is a bit fucked up cuz i cant get my hands on the og file atm. or anymore really

#tf2 #medic #miss pauling #blood #fake screenshot #cant have shit on teufort #man medic looks not so good here #i just started seriously drawing hoomans thanks to tf2 at that time

[dead-eye-ranger]

ϟ (I bet Jo probably asks him about different ones a lot so she can hear stories about him)

Arthur hummed as his hand traced over the burn mark just under his collarbone. The skin was slightly mangled, and light in colour, but it was faded, the only thing keeping it from disappearing being respawn.

"Got shot point blank there," he said, trying to recall the events. "Got kidnapped by a rival gang. Had t' cauterize it myself. It weren't pretty, but it got th' job done well enough fer me t' escape an' get back home."

#the hunter of teufort rp #[it was either this or Arthur going 'i ever tell you about the time i got attacked by a bear?']

[lobotomysyndromez]

Pilot save me Pilot. Ok I need to infodump about them

Uhm they’re Welsh and obviously from Wales. Their full name is Ceri Evans they’re like. 45 by 1968/during the Gravel Wars.

Uhm they joined MannCo with the promise of protection from the Welsh Gov and a repair for their beloved plane.

They’re a criminal because they stole an entire god damn plane after being told they weren’t allowed to have that job . (Used to be a waitress). Flew to ‘Merica, got rabies, SURVIVED RABIES and kept the bat as a pet.

They’re a support class with a glider essentially as a primary “weapon”. Good for callouts and practically a guard dog, gun is a triple barrel shotgun which they really shouldn’t be allowed to have but whatever. Melee is a chainsaw :3

They have beef with the other supports because Sniper shoots them down, Medic and them have slight beef only on duty because they’ll Refuse To FlY Down. And them n Spy just hate each other because they’re both stubborn and get hotheaded in the worst opposite ways possible

I dunno how to describe their personality . They’re pretty laid back but like kind of a naive idiot at times. Not exaggerated but they’re not as aware as they should be . Uhm I think they get really stubborn and a bit overconfident when it comes to their abilities, they refuse help when they’re aware they need it. Probably a bit of a goof during battles I just know their domination lines are so ass.

They can get serious though they have sooooo many identity issues 🔥 their family sucked actual ass . With any bonds they have they tend to get very arrogant and be rude without really knowing or putting thought into it. Like they’re not a good person they’re a mercenary but they’re just such a dick at times :[.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 OC #Jane’s Pilot #10th class oc #Ceri Evans #The Pilot #I love them dearly #there’s so much more than this but I already feel #crimge #also yes they’re transgender and queer #Medic gives them testosterone shots #they started the job frail and became stocky/fat n stronger over time #they’re much happier #my oc’s #Jane’s Teufort

[lunatic-pudge]

Scout, Pyro, Demo, Medic, Sniper, and Spy Relationship Headcanons

Can you tell which ones are my absolute favorite:')

Scout

• Unsurprisingly, it takes him a long time to get over his infatuation of Ms. Pauling (I'm 110% convinced she's a lesbian), so you must be basically a deity to be catching his attention (though he'd the type to flirt with EVERYONE)

• Golden retriever energy, also youngest child energy. Constantly wants to do everything for you but also needs constant attention. He's also used to be getting picked on by the other mercs and his older brothers so he'll be going to you for validation. But he also doesn't want to appear weak so it'll take some time to break through his (fragile) shell.

• Love language: physical touch and acts of services. Will be constantly trying to act like a macho man for you but will also beg to hold your hand. Cuddles are constant. He may not be good at being a handyman, but my gods he's gonna try his darndest. Plz tell him that he did a good job, he's trying his best.

• He's the best person to go to if you wanna go on randon and unexpected adventures. One minute you're both in Teufort, the next your across country at the beach up east coast. Poor thing gets yelled at a lot for just uping and leaving without notice.

• Local snack dealer. Ma is always making sure that he's got sweets on hand. His room has care packages from her with some of the most wholesome letters from her and the box if FILLED to the brim with sweets, treats, and soda

Pyro

• My little baby boo, a wholesome partner who would kill for you. Can get jealous very easily so you might have to hold them back from committing manslaughter.

• Love language: quality time and gift giving. Time with Pyro is time well spent. Constantly just wants to be in the same room with you. They don't do well when you're not around. Also loves to give gifts. Most of their gifts consit of stuffed animals and handmade drawings. Your room will be filled with gifts from this goofball.

• In my opinion, they're a lot more there than people realize. Some days are better than others though. They were literally CEO of an engeneering company! And I believe they made all their weapons to but I could be wrong on that. Homie is definitely reliable when they're having a good day, but on the bad days, just sit and spend time with them. You don't gotta say anything, just knowing your right there beside them is enough conformation to know you'll always be there no matter what.

• You two are little troublemakers. You'll constantly be up to no good with them. It seems like harmless fun, but you've both almost burnt down the base five times just this month!

Demoman

• Probably one of the best lovers you could have out of all the mercs (aside from Engie, they're competing for the number one spot). I'm deducting points cause of the nonstop alcohol consumpution. :(

• But he is a happy goofy dunk so thank gods for that. Always happy to be here. Very attentive, caring, cuddly, overall a good person to date or even just be friends with.

• Cause the constant alcohol ruined a good portion of his memory (and Medic as well), he writes down every little detail of you that he can in a little journal he secretly keeps on his person. Important dates, likes, dislikes, ect. The man has it on file in case of emergencies.

• Love language: gift giving and act of services. He works three jobs and makes over 5 mil a year, he's LOADED. He's gonna buy you the world if you ask. Definitely good at money managing so he never worried at how much gifts cost. He's also gonna try his darndest to help you out with any problems, though it can be a bit hard when you're constantly drunk. Hims trying his best, okay?

• Wants his mom to approve of you but knows how critical she is of him. Poor baby has some self-esteem issuses cause of her so please give him lots of love and support. It's hard when your mom never has anything nice to say about you and compares you to everyone else. It's a neverending struggle. :(

Medic

• You're definitley into weird and questionable people if you like this man, and that means we're best friends now. :D

• He will ask you to help him out with surgeries and organizing his lab. You're hims little nurse. He'd probably (absolutley) be getting you a nurse outfit with his symbol on it.

• He's very much the possessive type. What's his is HIS, no if, ands, buts, or questions about it. Would put a tracker in you so he knows where you are at all times, but someone would have to talk him out of doing it... for now...

• Constantly talks about you to his birds, if any on them ever have babies, he's naming one after you. Would get you a stuffed dove plushie to cuddle with at night when he can't be there with you

• Love language: physical touch and quality time, you're ALWAYS welcomed in his lab, in fact, he expects you to be there with him. Is the type to ask you to grab something and will graze his hands against yours when grabbing it from you. (then give a shit eating smirk afterwards) He'd also be the type to stand VERY close to you, and stand behind you in an intimidating way to keep others from talking to you.

Sniper

• This man is my all time baby boy so I have LOTS to say about him and how much I love him :')

• Is someone who takes a while to get close to, especially in a romantic way. He's just a shy little boy who's used to being alone. But isn't introverted, just has introverted tendencies (you literally see him hanging out with some of the other mercs in Expiration Date)

• Love language: words of affirmations and physical touch, he sucks at verbally saying how he feels about you but will leave cute little love notes around for you to find. He's also VERY touched-starved so he will just flat out lay on top of you if you let him. Loves hearing you say how much you love him, plz just hold his hands and say how much he means to you, he might just cry from it.

• Is also someone who goes on random adventures, but they're usually just out and away from everyone. But I could see him taking you to a zoo or aquarium to look at the animals. But you're not allowed to go to a Humane Society cause you'll be walking out with all the animals they have and raising them like they're your babies,

Spy

• Another gremlin who takes a long time to warm up to you. He's a grumpy old man who's never really been with someone in such a serious light (aside from Scout's Ma)

• Love language: gift giving and words of affirmation, another merc who would buy you the world if you asked. Will only buy you the best of the best and will throw hands with someone if it's not up to his standards. He could go on about his love for you. His words sound like poetry. You'd wake up with a bouquet of roses and one of the most beautiful love letters anyone has ever read.

• Is 50/50 on PDA, he'll wrap an arm around your waist, call you beautiful, and give you a peck on the cheek in front of others but that's about it. Any extreme PDA is to be in private or you're getting a scolding.

• Would definitely help you learn French. He's way more patient with you than anyone else. You've seen him yell and insult every merc a couple times (Scout getting the brunt of it), but he refuses to ever say anything negative about you

• Definitely the bragging type. He'll put you on a pedestal and go on about how gorgeous you are. How you were crafted by gods, and so on. He thinks he's better than everyone else so if you're with him, than you're right up there with him.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 scout #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 pyro #tf2 pyro x reader #tf2 demoman #tf2 demoman x reader #tf2 medic #tf2 medic x reader #tf2 sniper #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 spy #tf2 spy x reader

[theonemeathead]

Sniper x Reader, "Quick Trip"

a sniper x reader smutfic! tw for afab anatomy, the implications of the word 'sheila'. enjoy!

August. One of the hottest months of the year, not to mention it was the hottest day in New Mexico yet. A ceasefire had been called until further notice, the temperature being down right deadly. There was no shade for miles, within the border of the Badlands.

Which just so happened to be where you lived. Your residence, currently, was Teufort's RED base. You had been on base for a couple of years now, you got along with everyone well enough; Some more than others.

Which leads you to the current situation.

You see, Sniper was about to leave on a joint-contract with Scout; Somewhere not nearly as blazing hot. And he was going to be gone for almost two weeks. Clearly, this didn't bode well with you as you stood, with crossed arms, in front of him. You had been begging him all day to let you tag along, but he refused, insistently.

"Mundy, this isn't fair! The AC in the base is broken, you gotta—!"

"I said no, sheila," he cut you off, his tone stern. Of course, you didn't take well to being talked over, especially by your boyfriend. You furrowed your brow, opening your mouth to speak, when you were interrupted, yet again.

"Sick! Ya coming with us?" Ah, Scout. His Boston accent never failed to amuse you, especially with the mischievous glint in his eyes whenever he spoke. He smiled wide, hopeful that you could maybe make the car ride a little less dull. Sniper usually wasn't one for small talk, you were lucky if you could even get a head nod out of him.

"No." "Yes!"

You and Sniper said in unison, he shot you a nasty side eye from behind his aviators. You never understood how Sniper was able to take the heat so easily. He was still wearing his full uniform, boots and all. You had half a mind not to strip naked with how unbearable the temperature was. However, still somewhat sane, decided against that and listened to your better judgement for once.

"Aw, c'mon, Snipes, let 'em tag along! At least they talk," Scout tried to reason, taking your side. Sniper sighed dramatically, grumbling something you couldn't quite understand. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at you.

"You're both insufferable. Get in." Your eyes lit up immediately. You had gotten your way, per usual. You clambered into the vehicle, sitting directly in the middle between the other two mercenaries. The black leather seats had definitely seen their fair share of wear and tear, various holes burned from dropped cigarettes, some exposed, yellow foam from the peeling material... But Sniper loved his van. In between your legs was the comically long stick-shift. The handle was slightly chipped away and the design faded from being used so often. Sniper refused to drive anything but manual, because it's 'the right way' he said. With a loud sigh, Sniper had pulled himself in on the driver's side, buckling his seat belt in one swift motion. He clicked the key forward in the ignition, the camper sputtering to life. It was definitely old and in desperate need of repair. The bushman reached forward for the gearshift, his rough hands accidentally brushing the top of your knee as he put the car into 1st gear. Normally, gestures such as this didn't get to you. But, something felt off about it this time.

The first 10 minutes of the car ride turned out to be a bust. Sniper was too focused on the road and Scout was knocked out, cold. The only sound was the distant crackling of the radio and the soft snores from your teammate. You had one exciting moment when Sniper went to shift to 3rd, his hand grazing your leg yet again. You shot him a quick glance, unsure if it was on purpose on not. Sniper wasn't one to tease. You leaned forward with a sigh, slightly turning the dial on the radio to the right. It was set on a classic rock station currently playing a song by Men At Work. You didn't know much about the band, besides the fact Sniper really liked them.

"I love this song." Sniper's gruff voice had come out slightly whispery. You squirmed a little in your seat. Did he always have this affect on you? His Aussie accent had rang through you ears. It was such a simple string of words, but coupled with the fleeting touches, it was... different. About an hour and a half into the car ride, Sniper made the executive decision to stop at a gas station a couple miles up the road. With Scout still asleep, Sniper pulled up to the pump, slamming the breaks to scare the sleeping Bostonion awake. With an abrupt 'oof', Scout was up and ready to fight immediately.

"What—! What is it?! What happened, are we dead??" He yelped, looking around frantically. Scout paused, huffing when he saw that you were all just in park. "You guys are freakin' assholes, I'm gonna go take a leak."

With the 3 of you filing out of Sniper's front seat, you watched as Scout stretched and walked towards the gas station itself. Behind you, Sniper had already unscrewed the gas cap, removing the nozzle and forcing it into the tank. With a simple 'click', diesel fluid immediately began pouring out. Sniper stared at it for a second before abruptly pulling on the handle of the side door of the van, exposing the inside to you. Confused, you looked up at him.

"I told ya I didn't want you coming on this trip, roo." His tone was dark, almost sadistic. Your brows pinned up, a bit of fear beginning to creep through your system. Sniper never took a tone with you. He turned to you, his eyes hidden behind his yellow-tinted aviators. You swallowed thickly, afraid of what was next. "Come here."

You obeyed, stepping closer to him timidly. Immediately, you were manhandled, almost thrown into the back of his camper van. You stared in surprise, yelping as he slammed the door closed behind the both of you. You didn't have time to react before he was on you, his mouth meeting yours. The kiss wasn't pretty or experienced as his teeth clacked against yours, his lips bruising and hungry. He must've been pent up, watching you flaunt yourself around in that low-cut tanktop and those too-short shorts. Just as fast as he had started, he had pulled away. The marksman looked you up and down, as if you were nothing but prey.

"This is the entire reason I didnt want'cha to come, darl'. Just can't keep my bloody hands off ya."

A flash of red was all you saw before you were flipped onto your stomach, Sniper using his long limbs to entangle your arms behind your back. He had you like a wrangled animal, trapped and helpless. He grunted quietly, cursing under his breath as he kept you pinned with one arm. He used his one free hand and made quick work of your bottoms, sliding them, along with your underwear, down to rest just below your ass. You jolted at the feeling of his caloused hand immediately delving into your folds, as if to relax you. A low whimper left your throat, the feeling of his long, thick fingers tracing themselves inside of you, curling to hit the right spot.

You didn't have much time, however, and Sniper knew this. He retracted his fingers, sucking whatever juices was on them off. The clinking of a belt, along with shuffling fabric excited you further. Although you couldn't look back, you could feel him start to guide his long length towards your aching hole. He slid into you, slowly. Sniper wasn't thick per se, but he was definitely long. The head of his cock practically kissed your insides in all the right places. With how wet you were, you didn't need much time to accommodate his size. Snapping his hips into your ass, you could feel every drag of his cock, every pulse and vein. His pace started off bruising, the hand keeping you pinned down began leaving crescent-shaped indents from his fingernails.

There was something primal about this. The heat had burned extra hot that day, and so did your lover, it seemed. He reached his free hand under you, beginning to rub sloppy circles on your clit. Shortly after, you eyes had screwed shut, a line of drool beginning to leak from your mouth. The campervan had rocked slightly with each thrust, your pants and pleas falling upon deaf ears as Sniper used your body. It wasn't long until you tried to warn him, maybe a little too late.

"Mick, I—!" Before you could continue, you had came, your own moan cutting you off. Sniper had a sick, twisted smile, letting go of your arms to focus fully on grabbing your hips. He had started slamming your overstimulated, quivering cunt back into him. It sent shocks through your body, the pleasure quickly turning to pain as it became too much

"Fuck, I love ya, roo. I'm gonna fill ya right up, make ya mine." His thrusts grew erratic, almost sloppy, as a string of curses and praise left his lips as he hilted himself fully inside of you. You heard a small groan, followed by some deep breaths as Sniper came inside of you. With a groan, he pulled out, his cock growing softer by the second. He yanked his pants up, buckling his belt back with extreme ease and skill. There was no time for aftercare. He helped you slide your clothes back up, your trembling thighs sending delight through him. He picked his slouch hat up from off the ground, dusting it off. He held a crooked smile as he placed it atop your head, the hat much too big for you. He had finished pumping gas, screwing the cap back on before leaning against the front of his Chevy.

"Where's Scout?"

"I paid him $20 to piss off somewhere for like half an hour. He'll be back soon, love."

#tf2 #tf2 sniper #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #tf2 sniper x reader #sniper x reader #sniper tf2 x reader #sniper tf2 #tf2 fandom

[prettyboypistol]

hi there!! I'm new here, and I really like your writing lol. There's not a whole male reader stuff in the tf2 fandom from what I've seen, like, at all, and you're writing is just- skandnsns *so* good-

Anyways, uh, I'm sorry if you're not taking requests right now, I only just found your blog about a month ago, but I wanted to send in smt if that's okay??

Anyways, I was wonderin' if you could write something with the mercs, with a reader who has a panic attack the first time they respawn?

Like, maybe their a recent recruit, and they somehow haven't died on the battlefield yet?? The feeling of dying is probably horrible, that moment of not being able to breath, before nothing, even after respawning, so maybe after the match they skink off by themselves, not even noticing how off their acting as they leave. Platonic or romantic is fine lol. Sorry if I worded this weird, or it's too long, I've never really requested smt before

Anyways, love your writing dude!!

First Respawn || TF2 Mercs x M!Reader

can be read as platonic or romantic

Context: You and another merc were actually doing pretty well together- since you were assigned to shadow the more experienced people to really figure out how to fight and travel efficiently. Both of you were caught off guard by an enemy Heavy, who killed you both.

Scout

Jeremy respawned with a fit of curses and a stretching routine, yammering on about how Heavys shouldn't be allowed to sneak around. Then, he looked over to you. You were frantically touching over your chest and legs, desperately searching for the wounds you just felt agonizingly rip you from life. Jeremy bit the inside of his cheek before he crouched down to where you were.

"Hey man, 's'all good. That's respawn for you! You can never die here!" Scout explained lightheartedly.

"I- I felt-" A wrapped finger pressed against your lips, followed by a look of understanding and underlying discomfort.

"Shh, I know. I can't stand it either, but you don't really have a choice. You either just don't die or you bite your tongue and power through, kay? If the bosslady sees us chit-chattin', we'll both be in trouble!" Jeremy pulled you to stand up and shoved your weapon into your arms. "We can talk about it later, I'm really sorry pal."

Soldier

You and Jane were quickly executed and brought back to spawn. For Soldier, it was just another death. It's not like it meant anything! He quickly gathered his weapon and charged out, only to return a few seconds later.

"ON YOUR FEET, PRIVATE! UNLESS THOSE LEGS ARE BROKEN, OUR COUNTRY EXPECTS US TO FIGHT!" He tried to encourage you.

"I just died!" You wheeze out, more shocked than anything. "I'm dead! I got killed! I-"

Soldier yanked you to your feet and dragged you out to the battle field again, much to your scrambled protests.

"TEUFORT IS ALL ABOUT DYING AND COMING BACK! WE CAN LIVE FOREVER HERE!"

From somewhere you can't quite make out, you hear your Medic start to shout: "We are not living forever! Just unkillable!"

Pyro

Pyro had never seen a reaction like that before for respawn. They had seen anger, frustration- well, mostly anger. They watched carefully as tears streamed down your eyes as you sunk to the ground. You seemed... shell shocked? It was hard to really see through the pink clouds and mishearing your sobs as baby's laughter, but Pyro could definitely tell that something was up.

They placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, then pat your head softly with a humming of an upbeat tune. You didn't know the Pyro well, but from what you had heard from Engie and Medic, this was a definite attempt to comfort you. With one last sniffle, Pyro pointed to the doors with an excited cheer. You knew you had a job to do and not enough time in the day to do it in.

Pyro kept you close and looked around a lot more once out on the field as they hid you from most people's sight.

Demoman

As much as you and Tavish were friends off the clock, he really could be too daft. You gasped as you respawned, coughing violently. Tavish turned to you with a confused expression, but realized immediately that- oh shit, that was your first respawn. Demoman pulled you close and cradled you tight with a murmuring for you to follow his deep breaths.

"Right-o, breeeeathe. In... Out... Good job, just deep breaths." Tavish sighed quietly as he led you out of the spawn room and to a more private location. "That's respawn. You can't die here- but it's a hell of a thing to get used to it is. Sit back and hide while you calm down. If anyone notices a dip in my killstreak, I'd get a paycut."

As asshole-ish as it was for him to leave you, you really understood. He had a mother to take care of, after all. At least he talked to you after in detail about the functions along with Engineer and Medic.

Heavy

Heavy immediately noticed the nervous shakes that wracked through your body as life seemed to be thrust back into your arms just as quickly as it was torn away. Mikhail sighed and patted your back- a little too roughly for your liking, but the height and power difference was most likely to blame for that.

"It is... not easy to start- jarring? Yes, jarring at start." Mikhail sympathizes. "Deep breathing, we won't let it happen again." He promised as he nudged Sasha towards you. All you could offer was a weak smile as tears forced themselves down your cheeks.

Heavy felt a pang of guilt for needing to go right back to work, especially when his charge was so broken up about literally dying (it was reasonable, after all.), but orders were orders and the mouths of his family couldn't be fed by wasting time. He kept you close as he refused to keep you out of his sight at all- protecting you from any further harm.

Engineer

"Dag-nabbit! Those big guys should- oh." Dell watched as you started to hyperventilate and quickly rushed you to the intel room for a bit more privacy.

"Here, we can set up a few sentries here. Hide under the desk while I'm gone, okay? I'll be right back son." Was all you really could hear as you scrambled over to the desk with shakes and sobs deafening you to the outside world. It felt like hours, but finally a warm presence enveloped you. Dell stroked your hair and shushed you softly as you worked through the thrill of revival.

"I bet that was a scare, huh? Don't you worry. Me and Medic worked extra hard on these machines. You're gonna be safe in my hands, son. Don't you worry one lil' bit."

Spy

He rolled his eyes as you tried to feel for the now-healed bullet wounds, but deep down, he knew that he did the exact same thing on his first respawn. Half heartedly, he offered you a cigarette.

"It takes your mind off it- are you allergic to cannabis?"

How the hell did he manage to smuggle marijuana into a military establishment?! Wasn't this one of the most secure bases of Mann. Co?! Nevertheless, in moreso an act of desperation rather than actual desire to smoke, you deeply inhaled the smoke... Only to cough so loud and violently that you accidentally made yourself throw up.

Your superior was not impressed at the sight.

"I'm never letting you smoke my cigarettes again."

Medic

Ludwig was just how you expected him to be as you crumpled to your knees. He bragged about his amazing invention in an attempt to comfort you. A gloved hand brushed over your chest at where the bullets were with a manic smile.

"See! No holes! Quite the genius invention, yes?" He hummed happily. "Now, I know the adrenaline is still in your veins from well- dying- but that is more of a boost for when you get back out on the field!"

"Boost?! Back Out?! Hell no!" You protested as you scrambled away from Ludwig. "I fucking died!"

He clicked his tongue with an unamused expression. "Only temporarily- I'd argue not at all! Your heart barely stopped!"

You decided to keep your emotions and arguments to yourself.

Sniper

"How the hell did the big guy even get into my nest? Probably broke the ladder climbin'- you alright?"

You clearly weren't.

"Awe shit, yeah. Probably your first time kickin' the bucket." He muttered, mostly to himself as he crouched down to speak to you at eye level.

"Don't be too frazzled, chickadee. It's not the Heavy's you'll be worrying about mostly when you stick with me. At least the other Spy is efficient about the backstabs. I barely even feel 'em half the time."

You knew he was trying to be comforting, but it really just... didn't work too well.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #fanfiction #tf2 x reader #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier #tf2 engineer #tf2 demoman #tf2 heavy #tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 headcanons #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 spy x reader #tf2 medic x reader #tf2 heavy x reader #tf2 demoman x reader #tf2 engineer x reader #tf2 pyro x reader #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 soldier x reader #tf2 x m!reader #prettyboy pistol

[scoutsbabygirl]

I would like to see headcanons from you about how your favorite mercenaries realize that they fall in love with the reader :333

🎷🐛

my first request! hi my little meow meow! i wrote for all the mercs bc why not?! fluff below the cut! also written in headcannon form! idk how to write for soldier (i just don't see the appeal)

scout:

-why did ms. pauling have to be lesbian???

-when you came along he was immediately drawn to you, maybe it was because you were new and young

-he's way too cocky around you and acts like he doesn't care about you

-after a stern talking to by spy, jeremy decides to ask you out

-other than sports, jeremy loves to paint and draw and is surprisingly good at it. he asks you to make some art with him and of course he draws you

-this melts your heart and you've fallen for him. he's just waiting for the right time to confess and ask you to be his

soldier:

-man has zhanna

pyro:

-hearing you say "you're all good! no worries!" after he lights the hem of you shirt, almost burning you alive. he feels a spark...literally

-pyro slinks around you where ever you may be. in the kitchen baking? pyros throwing flour all over the kitchen. working out? pyros cheering you on. got some spare time? pyros got some crayons, colored pencils and a bunch of coloring books

-spending time with a masked man that the team fears has him drawn to you. the mercs warned you about him, you never felt intimated by pyro yet understood yet you could understand why he was treated differently

-if you're ever sad he will give you the best comfort. he's never shown himself to the mercs but once he sees you cry the mask is coming off and expect kisses to be planted over you

-its a very intimate moment and he just admits it then. he's never had anyone love him back, he's always been depicted as a monster.

heavy:

- won't approach you first. he waits for you to make a move. he knows his size is intimidating in itself and doesn't want to scare you away.

-he's a gentle giant. he's very careful with his words and movements. he's so paranoid that you'll view him as something he's not on the inside.

- one night you cooked with him and he told you all about his life back home, showed you photos of his sisters and taught you basic russian (assuming you don't know any already)

-if you speak russian he'll be over the moon or if you use the simple russian he's taught you he loves you just a little bit more. he adores your accent when you stumble over certain pronunciation. he knows you're the one for him

-when he decides to confess he handwrites you a long poem with an russian to english translation on two separate pages. after he signs his name he writes that he won't bring this up unless you do

-please don't break his heart. he's so sensitive

demo:

- when he confesses he's drunk as fuck. he doesn't even remember when you bring it up the next day.

-is so embarrassed. he's hungover and groggy. he plays it off by acting defensive. "i was just drunk! i meant nothing by it!"

-in the inside he's freaking out. he wanted to plan it out. it's only been 7 or 8 months since you've been at teufort but he fell so quick for you.

-3am outside pointing at the constellations, telling you about old celtic, scottish myths and folklore, shit talking the other mercs, and an accidental kiss on the lips he caught feeling for you right then and there.

- he's willing to give up scrumpy just to have you reciprocate the same feelings for him. 🤞

engineer:

-lord, he used so many pet names with you; "check this out, sweet pea", "you look beautiful, darling", "i made pancakes, you want any hon?"

-he knows his voice with a combination of his pet names do something to you. he loves when you call him those names back!

-compliment his cooking! bbq is his specialty! he'll gladly eat up anything you make. hungry boi :3

-he loves when you spend time with him in his workshop, working on his little metal trinkets warms his soul. he tries to teach you about the intricate parts of engineering. it's okay if you don't understand, he's more than willing to break it down for you and teach you a bite-sized version quantum mechanics

-friday night. a few beers in. a lot of work finished. "(y/n), i know i'm a bit older and dusty at the whole romance thing but" he pauses "you ain't seeing anyone right now, are you?"

medic:

-he either falls in love with you the second he lays his eyes on you or it takes many, many months for him to catch feelings for you. regardless, of how long the process takes his love for you becomes an obsession.

-you begin lingering around his office, inquiring about his tools and weapons. he finds it very interesting that you're not startled by him and his... unethical ways of "doctor assisted suicide"

-internal battles with his conscience. does he want to rip your organs out and shove them in the wrong places? he wants to slice your arteries one by one. yes, he wants to cut your jugular and see how much you bleed before dying. alas, he won't. you're too beautiful to be cut up into pieces. he doesn't want you to die by his hands, he doesn't know what he would do with himself.

-"guten morgen, wie gehts?!" has him weak. just a simple phrase you've rehearsed a few times. you though he would appreciate you taking time out of your day to learn his native tongue. he thinks this is your way of flirting with it (and perhaps it is).

-occasionally he'll call you into his office, not for a checkup by any means but rather just to chat (on company time). he removes the gloves and runs his hands over the scars on your face and neck. "schätzelein, i have been feeling some way for a while."

sniper:

-he is such a cunt. he's so rude and bitchy to you. his attitude causes you to avoid contact with mick at all costs and he avoids you like the plague. he spends a lot of time in his van anyways so staying away from you isn't too hard.

-seeing you hurt breaks his heart. he decides to visit you in medbay after your broke your arm. the baboo uterus experiment procedure wasn't finished by the time you got hurt. you notice how out of character it is but appreciate it regardless. he brings you a little necklace made with animal teeth (him making jewerly with animal bones is the most canon-noncanon headcanon.)

-after you get a cast you ask him to sign it. next to his name he writes a little heart. then scribbles it out. and draws a skull underneath it.

-butterflies in his stomach when he lays eyes on you. he hates that he's gotten feelings for you. you're his teammate, not his partner. not yet atleast. no? why is he thinking like this.

-it's obvious that mick is touch starved of attention, he want to be validated and appreciated. he's also getting shit from his teammates so when you begin to stand up for him and complimenting him he looses his mind.

"scout, you're being mean. no wonder you have no dad, i would leave too. " "he's not ugly at all. you're old and its evident enough in those wrinkles of yours."

-oh god. who knew a petite little thing like you could spit venom. he wants to tell you how he feels so badly but he doesn't want to loose you as a friend.

spy:

-he'll flirt with you before even developing feelings for you. always trying to court you, inviting you over at late hours. he just wants to get laid tbh.

-you're playing hard to get. it excites him a bit but he's much older now so if anything he's annoyed that you won't sleep with him. he tries being more romantic and pushes idea the idea of getting with you sexually and takes a different approach.

-smoking on his red velvet couch until the sun begins to rise, sharing cigs together. he has a small stash of weed (he stole it from scout) but coughs when he smokes it, earning a plethora of giggles from you. now he's smiling and laughing with you despite his lungs being filled with smoke.

-stacks of guy de maupassant on his table near the red couch, he reads the love poems to you and translates it to you. please snuggle up into his chest and try to read the french words yourself. your pronunciation is horrible and your accent is awful. you sound so cute yet so pathetic at the same time.

-he tries to keep his feelings hidden for as long as he can. of course, it slips out. he's stopped wearing the balaclava when around you (and only you, even his own son doesn't know what he truly looks like) so the bright red blush is evident on his face. he tries taking back what he said but there's no use as your already face first into his chest.

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #scout x reader #scout tf2 #scout tf2 x reader #sniper x reader #snipertf2 #sniper tf2 x reader #team fortress 2 #team fortress 2 x reader #tf2 spy #spy x reader #spy tf2 #medic x reader #medic tf2 #heavy x reader #heavy tf2 #demoman x reader #tf2 demoman #team fortress demoman #pyro tf2 #pyro x reader #engineer x reader #engineer tf2

[cntoesussie]

The TF2 Mercenaries as Ghosts because Halloween Starts NOW (because I said so)

I think Scout's like an urban legend type of ghost. Y'know, the type of ghost kids talk about in the schoolyard? He's like a whistling you could hear on the baseball field if you visit at a certain time of night, and if ya step on the pitcher's mound, he'd appear. You two would have a one-on-one, and if you lost, you're gone. For good. Soldier's the type of ghost that can be found at a war memorial, saluting to the nearest statue/flag. He wouldn't interact, he'd be too busy lamenting his days gone by. The days when he was powerful, the days when life was exciting and rich and full... Pyro would be what appears to be a hand reaching out of the flames, beckoning you into their world of whimsy and pyre. And if ya step in, you'd join them in glittery hell. Pyroland would be your reality, forever. Demoman would be a bottle of scrumpy on a shelf, begging you to open and free him. And once you do, he'd materialize as the drink itself, drunk as he always is, wreaking havoc in the name of… nothing. He’s just doing what he wants, and that is having fun. Heavy would be the kind of benevolent ghost who would stay in his childhood home, making sure things were in order even after his death. It'd be a bit strange at first, seeing a hulking ghost floating throughout a seemingly unassuming cabin in the mountains, but he's like Casper. Kind and relatively harmless. Unless you provoke him. Then you’re fucked. Engineer would've built a robotic body to reside in just in case he dies, so he'd be a robot wandering the streets of Teufort, living life as he would normally, except in an artificial body. Just don’t be scared when a robot starts speaking with a perfectly replicated human voice. If he were to ever die, Medic would be the type of ghost to scare the living daylight out of anyone who dared enter the hospital he resides in. And when the hospital shuts down due to too many unexplained deaths and experimented-on corpses, he'd simply move on to the next one. Sniper would be a vague figure you'd catch a glimpse of in the distance, just standing there, staring. And when you do a double take, he'd be gone. But if you were lucky enough to get a good look at him, he would just continue to stare, unmoving, the dusty orange tint of his glasses standing out from his void-like appearance.

Spy would be the one to actually possess people, acting as them and getting into trouble. He'd lie, cheat, steal, etc., whatever makes him feel alive and young again. And when he’s had his fun, he’d exit the host’s body, leaving them to question why they seemingly blacked out.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #tf2 soldier #soldier tf2 #tf2 pyro #pyro tf2 #tf2 demoman #demoman tf2 #tf2 heavy #heavy tf2 #tf2 engineer #engineer tf2 #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #tf2 sniper #sniper tf2 #tf2 spy #spy tf2

[dynahops]

Time away from Teufort

#speeding bullet #tf2 #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #sniperscout #fanart #myart

[cheemscakecat]

So Spy and Scout in Prison…

So Scout’s arms were broken because he tried to help Soldier. [Bad idea, Solly broke his arms].

It takes 6 weeks to heal broken arms, give or take. We don’t know if the drugged food and lead poisoned water in Teufort made it take longer.

Even these random lead poisoned cops are like; “None of us are built to attack this Spy, let’s just lock them in.” How do you know that just from looking at the guy?

I feel like Joey Murders would have tried to kill Scout when his arms were still broken, and Spy stayed up and kept watch to prevent it. Lil bro probably assumed their cellmate wouldn’t want to cause more trouble for himself, but he is a civilian serial killer. Probably preys on the weak.

Maybe one of the reasons why Spy was in such a bad mood is because Murders had been trying to kill his son for 5 months, and Scout still didn’t pick up on it. And when he starts accusing Spy of getting them in more trouble for killing that clown, it hits a nerve.

They’d served community service in Teufort and been labeled heroes, so suddenly getting imprisoned on death row would give them some whiplash. I think the reason Spy kept telling Jeremy that his court case wasn’t going to work was not for a lack of faith in his son. It was him trying to stop Scout from convincing himself that they were going to get out of this and getting let down.

They didn’t know about the lead poisoning or false charges, but I bet Soy could tell that something was wrong with the people of Teufort. They weren’t going to get an “innocent until proven guilty” trial, and even if Jeremy did everything perfectly it wouldn’t sway those freaks away from their public hanging.

But Scout isn’t ready to die, and he wouldn’t accept that fate no matter how small the chances were to get out. He’s assuming that Spy doesn’t care about being hung and is refusing to do anything to help them escape. Which is why he’s mad.

The truth is, Spy was planning to stab their captors in the trial, but they were on camera in the prison cell and he couldn’t just reveal the plan to Scout. I don’t think he’s expecting both of them to get away, either; the goal is probably to cause enough carnage for Scout to wise up and escape before the guards figure out what to do.

I still think he would have taken out multiple people though. Something we forget about Spy is that his suit is specially tailored to hide his upper body strength.

[Not mine, found this online]

Scout put his stats into speed, which is why his thighs are bigger. Spy put his stats into upper body strength. This is the Tf2 universe, so I would not be surprised if he could stab through bone. So yeah, even with a really little stabbing knife, he’d kill somebody.

Two more things.

Scout was probably just so happy to have the casts off and use his arms again that he posed for his mugshot like that.

Poor Jeremy. He isn’t ready to die for real. And not in front of these crappy Tuefortians.

What makes it worse is that they dropped him first, and Pauling had to book it to stop the hanging. That had to be traumatic.

Don’t just leave him like that! I know she needed to stop the mayor, but golly. Soldier came in clutch though, untying him.

They weren’t even on trial for their actual crimes, which makes that 5 months in prison with drugged food, bunking with a serial killer a massive human rights violation. So was the show trial and hanging, and if Pauling and the others didn’t get there in time, they would’ve died for nothing.

So yeah, new Scout trauma just dropped.

#dadspy #tf2 #character analysis #Can’t have crap in Teufort bro.

[mstophattii]

ok here's a little poll about TTT

ok so next friday i'll release the next issue for The Teufort Times

and i need something for the special section

SO GO HERE HAVE A POLL!!

(also The Teufort Times is a TF2 newspaper.,. wowie)

#TF2 #team fortress two #team fortress #TTT #The Teufort Times

[someconfusedastronaut]

Scribbled on the back: the BLU Scout, by unintelligible , Robot War (unintelligible - unintelligible), Teufort

This is my first time doing perspective and I’m actually pretty happy about how it turned out :D

Under the cut is the unfiltered version.

#art #tf2 fanart #tf2 #team fortress 2 #illustration #digital art #blu scout #tf2 scout #red spy #you could see him smoking in the background #tf2 spy #mann vs machine #my art

[goblinus-maximumbo]

A collection of post cards amounted by Miss Pauling during the Tough Break update (TF2)

I know that next time I take a trip to Teufort New Mexico I'll spend my hard earned money at The Tom Jones Museum.

(If you have seen this post feel free to check out the other things i have made at goblinus-maximumbo.... PLEASE)

#tf2 #team fortress two #valve games #valve #vacation #miss pauling

[queerfortress2]

Medic x reader headcannons????

MINE MINE MINE MINE — mod medic

READER X MEDIC

if you were looking for a extremely romantic and sappy lover, than you are in the WRONG CATEGORY BUDDY, BECAUSE WOOO HES IS NOT.

he does try, really, but in a very unorthodox fashion. like yeah it has a romantic intention when he gave you a beating heart of the enemy soldier saying it’s for you, but you did react quite badly to it.

definitely had to be coached on how to be Normal in a relationship because otherwise he would NOT get it. turns out!! people don’t like organs and guts and murder like he does. it’s just a him thing.

he does delve deeper into your interests but more importantly— your health! dating an ex-doctor has its benefits! he still remember going to medical school and residency so he can still (illegally) perform on you. of course, you deny this advance, assuming you are sane my dear friends, but it’s the thought that counts.

slowly but surely the organs and medication are replaced with flowers and chocolates, it just took awhile to get there. he really is struggling but with a— albeit creepy— smile like that, how could you be mad at him?

his love language is most likely acts of service, which means he does the little things for you. said little things being anaesthesia but details details… you’re doing better off than his subjects teammates, so can you really complain?

and let’s be honest, being a mercenary pays well, you will NOT be going hungry bestie. with this advantage no matter who you are and what your stance is on paying for dinner, he is PAYING FOR DINNER, you cannot take that away from him. good luck trying

i think he uses you as an excuse to get out of things as well. new project coming up in 2fort? that’s too damn bad he actually needs to teach you the complicated anatomy of your central nervous system. it’s a very important thing, engineer! he has to waste.

also heavy hears about you so often he probably knows more about you than you do by the time he finally meets you face to face. i mean the whole shebang, full name, likes, dislikes, little fidgets, that thing you did last week to mess with medic, social security number…/j

he can’t help it, in his eyes you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread! maybe even the greatest thing since hemlock leaves in surgery prep!

…if you even knew what that meant when he said it to you.

all in all, god speed to you medic lovers because you will not get a DAY of rest with this man, he’s either working, causing something extraordinary or reeking havoc in teufort without many precautionary measures. we all saw expiration date. beware and tread carefully you fools (me included).

#mod medic #tf2 x reader #tf2 medic x reader #medic x reader #don’t get caught writing fanfiction by director challenge #(failed)/j

[flxaegh]

Can you do a sniper x scout one? Plz I will appreciate it so so much!

Sure! :)

Been a while since I've gotten a request (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Speeding bullet headcanons!!!

At first Sniper found Scout quite annoying as he is always at first glance, though since it's not on purpose he quickly looked pass it

They were very good friends before dating!! As implied multiple times in canon tf2

They hang out regularly in Sniper's van, driving around Teufort, Sniper finding places where Scout can run around freely as he watches from afar. (like a dog)

Scout definitely asks Sniper to focus on a enemy if he gets sick of being killed by them

He comes to his spot whining about getting killed all the time by that one guy, being dramatic "come on man! avenge me!!" and points them out to him

Scout cheers on him when Sniper successfully head shots the enemy and kisses his cheek loudly. *SMMOOAK*

Sniper tilts his hat forward to hide his reddening face

They're out to the rest of the team because they know they don't give a fuck

But they probably don't like too much PDA in public

Sniper probably always asks Scout to clean his room and open the window before he comes over

So he can enjoy his company without the constant smell of old pizza and sweaty socks

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #tf2 headcanons #sniper tf2 #tf2 sniper #sniperscout #speeding bullet