#their lives and if this doesnt prove it then i really dont know what else could

[mystical-one]

ALICE NESMITH??????

#MICHAEL NESMITH DRAG NAME REAL?? #finally listening to cosmic partners with my full attention towards it. ive heard it before but i havent Listened if you catch my drift #also sorry but why is he so funny here. they say the funniest people are those who are going through the saddest most pathetic moment of #their lives and if this doesnt prove it then i really dont know what else could

[zirobitches]

One Piece: Soulmate AU

Always in this twilight - Crocodile x GN!Reader

Summary: Soulmates are incapable of hurting each other. As a pirate, this leads to some tragic moments midst battles. You thought you were prepared for when it might happen to you, but damn you were wrong.

Gn! Reader, Angst no comfort, no beta we die like Roger, Reader is Croc's First Mate and a former Roger pirate (Shanks/Buggy's age) but it doesnt really matter, also former slave background, congrats you are now in the place of my self insert OC, no promises on not being cringe this is literally a /reader fic, also had to make a fake crew bc we dont know enough crocs backstory HAND IT OVER ODA

Word count: 4500+

Also first fic on tumblr, idk what im doing here, lmk ur opinions. It is now 2:03am and i have class at 10:30. Might have to skip lmao

EDITS: grammar check lol. also cross posted it on ao3 - same name as my blog

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Soulmates weren't as common as you'd might assume when you first hear about it. There's an easy way to prove someone is your soulmate, but when that method is to harm them, well, it doesn't make it easy to find that person. And society gets a bit weird when you know your soulmate is out there.

you've known that some people carry around little needles to poke into strangers hoping to find the one. But that was in decent society; among pirates you more often heard tales of bullets suddenly dropping to the ground after they hit their target, or swords stopping on someone's skin as though it just hit steel. A battlefield is a hell of a place to meet the person fate had decided for you, but for pirates it had become a norm.

Not that long ago, some genius named Vegapunk did a study on how many people meet their soulmate - 1 in a 100. And that's just how many people find them. It never accounts for how many actually happily end up together. You had chosen to live your life as a pirate, so a happy ending with your supposed soulmate wasn't something you foresaw in your future.

You were always grateful most of your current crew felt the same. There was a small group among pirates that were always on the lookout to find their soulmate and then immediately retire. Your crew however like to joke that if they found them in battle, they would move out of the way so someone else could finish them off. It was a grim reality, but it was your reality.

However, on nights like these where you drank the night away, some romantic always had to bring it up.

"C'mon, did old Roger really make you so cold hearted that you don't believe in true love?"

"Pfft, you're fucking joking right?" You scoffed back. You always argued with Tink about this, but you understood your young navigator still had hope. Too bad you were the pessimist of the crew.

"It's not that I don't believe in true love," you continued. "Soulmates are real, I don't really see another explanation for not being able to harm only one other person in the world. But why limit yourself to waiting for a person you might never meet? So many are denying themselves to fall in love with someone else and then end up dying alone because they never found their soulmate."

Tink pouted in front of you. This was a tired conversation, one that was repeated every few weeks much to the chagrin of your other crewmates. But a controversial topic was always a great topic for a group such as yourselves.

"I'm not denying myself the chance to fall in love! I'm denying ever feeling heartbroken over someone who doesn't matter!" Tink tried to argue back, but you just groaned in response.

"And if you never meet the one? You'll just live and die without ever letting yourself even get a taste of what it is you're chasing." Tink glared, knowing it was futile to keep going, but the pink of her cheeks told you that the grog in her system was trying to get her to keep fighting.

It was then that a familiar tall figure caught your eye. There was your beloved captain Crocodile, trying to sneak behind everyone's back to grab another bottle for himself.

Crocodile was never much one for festivities, at least not one 'undeserved' as he might put it. While there was no battle won to celebrate, the night sky was clear and the waters calm; in the Grand Line, shouldn't that be enough to be happy about?

However tonight you weren't going to let him sneak booze and hide from the crew.

"Cap'n!" Apparently the grog was getting to you as well. "Come over here and help me crush Tink's dream of a soulmate!" You laughed as Tink gasped at your audacity. The rest of your company seemed more or less happy with how the night was going, but your captain was still less than enthused to join.

"If this is the same soulmate debate you've been going on about for the past 3 years, I will pass again. You already know my feelings on the matter." Crocodile's deep voice reverberated across the deck of the ship. Even if he wasn't giving orders, he still commanded the attention of everyone within earshot.

He gave a long drag of the bottle in his hand, and then turned to walk away. However you felt it was your duty as first mate to pester your captain into spending casual time with his crew.

"I may know your opinion, but would you be so kind and gracious to remind the rest of the crew? Perhaps?" You called out to the dark coat trying to run from the party, and saw him pause, then turn to walk back.

You could see some of the newer additions to the crew cower. You didn't blame them, Crocodile was an imposing figure, and was developing a infamous reputation as a pirate on the Grand Line. But he was your captain, and he would never hurt his crew, this you knew.

"If I ever met my soulmate," Crocodile began, "I assume it would be when I attempt to kill them." He took another sip from his bottle. This was one of the rare moments he was not puffing a cigar you suddenly realize. It made his face look younger, as though he was actually a man in his 20s as he claimed he was.

As though he knew you were thinking of him, Crocodile made eye contact with you. "When I realize I can't kill them, I'll call out for you." You felt your heart skip a beat. "Then you can finish them for me."

It was purely the grog's fault for making your face warm. The lack of a sea breeze was also suddenly apparent. But you couldn't be flustered, not when you were the one who asked for this answer.

You smiled, doing your best to brush off the tension. You were still maintaining eye contact with him after all. "Well there you have it. Not exactly the opinion I remember, but I hope I can live up to your expectations, Cap'n."

Crocodile nodded, then told you all to start to sober up or get to bed. "I don't need a crew of drunks on the Grand Line, or else we will never make it to the New World."

Your crew began to disperse and you went below deck to your cabin. You really hadn't had much to drink that night, yet your chest felt tight.

You thought you had learned your lesson, but no. Even after promising yourself you wouldn't, you became attached to your crew. Even after your last one fell apart. Even after you watched your first captain, your savior, be executed, you fucked up and dove straight into a different crew expecting it to be different.

You laid down in your bed, staring at the ceiling, the world slightly spinning. Suddenly all you can think about is when you met Croc.

-

It was little more than 3 years ago now, wasn't it? A whole 3 years since Roger died. The weight is still heavy in your chest, but not nearly as devastating as it was in Logue Town that day. You were a wreck, physically and emotionally.

After watching the execution, you were too heartbroken to join the others in pursuit of the One Piece. Your world has just officially ended, the crew was technically already disbanded, but now there was no hope of getting it back.

You ended up in some local bar. No one recognized you, and in the haze of all the excitement following Roger's death, why would they? You had just been some nobody apprentice who happened to stick on his ship after Roger saved your life.

But your sorrow did catch someone's eye.

You sat at the counter of this dive bar in Logue Town, mindlessly stirring whatever number drink sat in front of you now. You had run out of tears, and sat stuck in some frozen state of grief.

However, this sad portrait of yourself did not seem to deter someone from sitting next to you.

You paid them no mind, just staring into empty space, not enough energy to even remember you were still alive.

"You were a member of the Pirate King's crew weren't you?"

A deep voice rattled from the stranger, but it was his words that really caught your attention.

"How'd you figure?" You had paused your stirring at first, but now focused on your drink to avoid eye contact. You were a mess, you could feel your puffy eyes, and were still sniffling every so often.

"There's no reason anyone in this town should be sad that someone like him died. So, you must have known him, right?" The deep voice continued, and you could feel their eyes staring, but didn't have the strength to meet them.

"Well, you caught me. Going to take me in and see if you can get a reward? I'm afraid you won't find any posters of me though. I tended to get lost in the crowd, you could say." After that statement you finally grasped the glass in front of you and decided to knock back what was left. If this was the end of your little pirating career, so be it. It can die with Roger.

"Will you join my crew?"

Your head snapped up at that, and you finally looked up at the stranger.

Long black hair was slicked back to show all the sharp features of the man's face. A strong square jaw, a prominent, perfect nose, and pale, piercing eyes, hooded by thin black eyebrows. Undoubtedly, even in your drunken haze, you were sure sober you would agree the man was handsome.

After a moment to take in this stranger all you could manage was a "Excuse me?"

He smiled - no, smirked - and pulled a cigar out from his coat. "I could use someone with your experience on my crew." He carried on, as if you were discussing the weather outside. He lit the cigar with a lighter you hadn't noticed him pull out. Perhaps it was the booze, but looking at this guy, he almost seemed… fuzzy, around the edges.

"Having someone who once worked for the Pirate King should help me become the next Pirate King."

The stranger took a long drag from his cigar, then exhaled over the counter. You didn't know where the barkeep was now, but at the moment, it felt like you and him were the only people in the building.

You should be mad. Enraged at the audacity of someone to come up to you on the worst day of your life, and to ask you to work for them. But you felt nothing.

No. That wasn't right. You did feel something.

You chuckled. Giggled even. A small laugh that built up till you were laughing, nearly hysterically. You hadn't felt like this sort of light headed elation in a long time, and it was nice.

After taking a moment to catch your breath you finally looked back at the stranger. He didn't look upset at your reaction. He just kept smoking his cigar, waiting for an answer.

"I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"I am Sir Crocodile, captain of the Neverland Pirates."

"Hmmm. Well, Sir Crocodile, I can tell you now that you have no chance of being Pirate King." You smirked back at him, propping your head up on your hand as you leaned against the counter.

This response still didn't bother the man. If anything, you swore he almost seemed… satisfied by your answer. Perhaps he knows what's coming next.

"I can help you out on the Grand Line and maybe help you get to the New World, but I promise," you leaned in towards this captain, staring him down. "You will never be the man Roger was. No one will."

Yet Crocodile was unperturbed.

"So you'll join my crew?"

You leaned back and reassessed your empty glass. You cast a quick glance at the bar and then back at the other pirate.

"Sure. I don't have anything better to do anyways."

-

You thought back in Logue Town you could never feel the same way about Crocodile's crew that you felt with Roger's, but you were always the fool. Now you are attached.

Now you need a reason to leave.

You couldn't waste your time or your heart with them. You had already died once with Roger, and if you stayed any longer you know you could never leave alive. You got up from bed - still plenty tipsy you swayed over - to your dresser.

Middle drawer, back left, underneath some no longer worn t-shirts was a small box. You opened it.

There were several small scraps of paper. Vivre cards.

As a child on Roger's boat, you were ecstatic to learn about vivre cards. A simple way to know the people you loved were alive and safe, and be able to find their exact location? It was too good to be true.

When you remember the feeling of Roger's paper burning in your hands at his execution, you knew the reality of vivre cards.

Your fingertips gently sorted through the papers you had made for some of Roger's crew. Each had a tiny name written in a corner. Shanks, Buggy, Ray, Gaban, Oden, and a few others of people who had been most important to you.

Maybe you could leave this crew and seek out the others. Rayleigh had always said he would retire at Sabaody, and your crew was bound to get there soon, hopefully in a couple months. The ache in your chest; you missed your old family. This could be the excuse you needed.

With a heavy sigh you closed the box and hid it away again. Sleeping on it would be good. Sleeping away the booze would also be nice.

Maybe then the tears would stop silently slipping down your face.

-

It turns out the excuse of seeing your old crew was unneeded. The news coo was kind enough to drop a reason to leave directly in your lap.

You stared at the newspaper for a long moment. The sinking feeling in your gut still did not go away.

You walked up to the bow where Crocodile was standing. He stared at the horizon as you approached the next island, Water 7.

"Captain."

Crocodile turned to look at you, face neutral, signature cigar in his mouth.

"Morning. The news any good?"

"They want to make you a Warlord."

Your own feelings were swept under the rug as your crewmates overheard. Instantly the deck was buzzing, the news spreading and making the once sleepy, slightly hungover crew come back to life.

"This is perfect!" The helmsman Diat yelled, a grin wide on his face. "Not only do we get the Marines off our back, it's recognition that we are some of the strongest pirates on the Grand Line!"

You would have laughed at him if not for the ice in your chest. Similar celebratory remarks were made all around you, but you didn't have the strength to pretend this was good news to you.

All you could feel was an icy feeling on your back, right where you had a large scar that tore up a long faded tattoo. But time could not get rid of the mark you could never forget about, no matter how much you wanted to.

Amid the spontaneous party you finally turned back to Crocodile. Amidst it all, he was still only looking at you.

Your words were quiet compared to the raucous around you, but your captain heard you just fine.

"If you become a Warlord I'm leaving the crew."

A couple of nearby crew gasped, heads whipped in your direction and murmurs quickly took place of all the yells.

Instantly protests, people yelling your name, yelling their arguments, but it all fell on deaf ears as you stared down your captain.

Tink of all people knew it was futile to argue with you, and turned to the man of the hour. "Captain! You can't just let your first mate leave!"

Before she could continue, Crocodile interjected. "You never planned on making me King of the Pirates, right? So you never planned on staying on this ship anyways."

This evoked even more protests from the crowd. Many of them weren't sure what you two were talking about, and some had begun to yell again.

The sounds were starting to be overwhelming, and this was not a conversation that required the whole crew anyways.

"That's enough from everyone!" You yelled over the cacophony. The crew went quiet. "This is a conversation for me and the captain, the rest of you need to beat it! Do something useful, we will make a port soon."

The crowd was not placated in the least, but it was true the ship would be docked soon, and there were things that needed to be prepared beforehand.

"You heard them. Get back to work." Crocodile finished your command, and the crowd dispersed. You knew they would still be listening, but it didn't stop you.

"I refuse to be part of a crew that works alongside the Marines. If you become a Warlord you automatically become their dog - then you may as well be a dog of the celestial dragons." Your tongue burned even at the mention of the world nobles.

Crocodile took a long drag of his cigar. He looked away from you and sighed an exhale of smoke, then dragged his line of sight back to you.

"I haven't decided yet."

You bristled at this. "Are you suggesting they already offered this to you? And I had to find out through a newspaper?"

Crocodile took yet another drag, and you lost your patience with his nicotine addiction. "Answer me Crocodile."

Your captain sighed through his nose this time, some of the smoke reaching you, a familiar smell after all these years. It once may have been a nice fragrance, knowing your captain was near, but now it blinded you and stoked your anger.

"We are almost to Water 7. Let's save it for there."

-

Tensions were high, especially between you and Crocodile, when your mood worsened when he disappeared while you oversaw the docking. But you docked. You got the crew into a hotel. During this time the crew began splitting into sides, which was not something you had anticipated. But you ignored it all until finally, Crocodile returned and you cornered him into in a room alone with you.

He had no cigar, and you had no drink in hand. It was a painfully sober room.

Crocodile sighed and slumped into an armchair. He dragged his eyes across the room till they met yours. You refused to look away this time, jaw set with determination to stand your ground.

"I don't want to be the Marine's dog," Croc began. "But they offered me a deal."

"The deal that our crimes are excused? Big whoop, as long as we don't get caught it's almost the same."

"No," he sighed, a large ring covered hand dragging down his face in exasperation. "A deal to help take down Whitebeard."

That got you silent. For a moment, as you recalled every time you saw Roger and Whitebeard exchange blows and fight for days on end.

"You? Take down Whitebeard?" You laughed, but it was a dry and bitter thing. "Your bounty is $81 million berries. Your devil fruit is great and all, but it is by no means fight and beat Whitebeard good. Even if Newgate was without his crew, our entire crew would be wiped off the map. You've lost it if you truly believe that this is achieveable."

Crocodile glared from across the room. Not his usual, perpetual glare, but a genuine, freeze you in your tracks ice cold glare.

He stood up, all 8 feet imposing over you as he stalked across the room. "I have let you say plenty of cruel things to me, but this may cross the line."

But you were his first mate and you couldn't fear him if you were supposed to talk sense into him. "Cross the line? I'm not the one who is making deals with the Navy so I can sail us to our deaths at the hands of Whitebeard!" You were yelling now, no, roaring at your foolish headstrong captain.

"If you take that ship and that crew as it is now to the New World to fight Whitebeard and his sons, no one will come back alive!" Your heart was on fire with rage and frozen in fear. Rage at your captain, who is very much overestimating his abilities. Fear for your crewmates who have no idea what sort of danger their captain was going to put them in.

Crocodile was now truly enraged on the same level as you. He sneered down at you as he suddenly grabbed you by the neck - much to your shock. "I wanted you there to see me become the next Pirate King. But if you can't support me for this, one of the biggest moments in my life since I've been a pirate, then I have no need for you anymore."

With his free hand he opened the door that was behind you. A group of Marines walked in with cuffs ready. "To sweeten the deal, what better than to give a former Roger pirate to the Navy?"

You felt all the blood drain from your face, as fear for your own well being finally pierced your heart. You looked up at Crocodile, and you could feel tears begin to creep at the corner of your eyes. "You never fail to surprise me, Captain."

"Well done Sir Crocodile." One of the Marines spoke, and you could tell from their uniform it was a Vice Admiral, though you didn't recognize them.

"A public execution of a Roger's pirate should be a grand way to ring in your instatement as Warlord."

You felt the world slow down around you and felt Crocodile's grip on your neck slip at the Marine's sentencing.

Crocodile began to speak, "That was not what we agreed on," But your ears had begun to ring.

Growing up on the Oro Jackson, you had picked up some neat tricks. You found out you were hopeless with the color of observation haki, but had a special knack for color of arms. Perfect against those darn logia fruit users.

In a blink of an eye you ripped Crocodile's arm away from your neck and you made a mad dash past him. And jumped straight through a window, glass and all.

You could vaguely hear a commotion behind you as Marines ran after you, but it was lost with the ringing in your ears.

You could hear and feel your heartbeat, pounding throughout your body as you ran through the endless alleys and canals of Water 7. You could feel tears pierce through the wind rushing past your face as you ran, desperately with no objective.

All you could think about was the way the heat of Crocodile's hand felt on your neck, the cold metal of the rings that had pressed against your pulse.

Have you ever really touched Crocodile before?

…

You missed him. You didn't understand why. He had just betrayed you - fucking hell, he was just handing you over to the Navy as part of his deal to become a warlord, but god. You wanted to be with him anyways. You're not sure how long you've been in love with him; his sharp eyes, the smell of his cigars, the rings on his hands, but gods above.

You had fallen in love with Crocodile.

In your realization you slowed down. Your legs and lungs burned, you were gasping for air and not just because you had been running.

Has it always been this dark? When did the day leave you behind?

You now stood in some nondescript alley, dimly lit a golden hue by windows that lined it. It was a long alley, each end blocked by canals. How you arrived there you weren't certain. But you weren't alone.

At one end sand had appeared. And from it stepped your dear, awful captain Crocodile. You both stared at each other, both of you panting for breath.

"I didn't want it to be like this." Crocodile's voice cuts through the air to you. You knew you should run. But for some reason you couldn't find the strength.

"I didn't know they would execute you. I imagined they would send you to Impel Down." Crocodile continued to speak. You just stood there and listened as he walked towards you.

As you watched him, there was a strange look on his face. You've seen it before but still didn't know what it meant.

He stopped walking ten feet in front of you. The light was still too dim to see him clearly, but it was fine. You knew his face well enough.

"I won't let the Navy kill you. Not after what the nobles did to you, it feels wrong." You had never told Crocodile what the scar on your back was. It didn't feel like it mattered anymore.

"I think I'll feel better about this if I'm the one who kills you."

You knew this was coming. The second you saw him at the end of the alley. But you agreed with him. If you had to die at someone's hands, you would pick Crocodile over anyone else. Even if it meant he didn't feel the same about you, it didn't matter anymore. You were so tired.

It would be nice to see Roger again.

But then Rayleigh's face flashed in your mind. You still had to pay him a visit. You still had to visit Wano to see Oden. You wanted to see Shanks and Buggy find the One Piece.

You couldn't see Roger just yet.

So, in a sudden scramble, you turned around and ran.

The ground where you had been standing suddenly crumbled. You felt a gasp finally escape your lungs as you realized you almost gave up. But not yet. You had to save your crew too.

Then you finally ran out of luck. The dim light hid a hole in the cobblestones and you fell to the alley ground. You quickly twisted your body just in time to see Crocodile's scythe of sand arc straight towards you.

It hits you right in the chest, and crumbles to dust.

Confused, you run your hands through the sand that has landed on your lap. You're not cut in half - instead you just have sand all over you.

Crocodile change his mind? He was letting you go? Thoughts and heart still racing, you looked up at him.

Oh.

Oh no.

The horror on his face was plain to see - that was supposed to be a killing blow.

But he didn't hurt you.

Your hand jumped to your neck from when he grabbed you earlier. But in retrospect, you had just been shocked by the action, he hadn't harmed you.

Crocodile didn't hurt you.

No.

Crocodile couldn't hurt you.

Because he was your soulmate.

It was the look on his face that hurt you the most. The disgust, anger, horror - this man did not want a soulmate. He did not want you. So why bother sticking around?

You scrambled back to your feet. Even if he couldn't hurt you, the Marines still could.

So, with blurry eyes and a heavy heart, you ran away.

Faintly, you heard a painfully familiar voice call your name, but then all that was left was the wind as you ran.

pt. 2 (if you want, but this might be better as a one shot)

#one piece #sir crocodile #crocodile one piece #crocodile x reader #one piece fanfiction #zirowrites #x reader

[sukunasweetheart]

//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry

Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)

so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨

The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️

What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?

Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.

Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.

These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.

And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...

And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir

His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl

How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"

I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓

Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping

#jjk #sukuna

[laprimera]

ABOUT THE MUN - ooo I got tagged ooOooo

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?

fixation as soon as the second trailer with her reveal came? Like the little snippets that was known about the game already weaved a pretty intricate (and disproven lol) plot and personality.

Even after everything got debunked I still kept my original lore + now I live and love the idea her ideal, picturesque self is actually a front for how clutzy and forgetful she really is as a super busy champion who's passionate about her region.

is there anything you don’t like to write?

bad/sad unnecessary endings or forks in the road?? I know it's silly in context like "well stories arent all happy-" BUT THIS IS POKEMON AR PEE AND I PARTIALLY CONTROL THE NARATIVE AND I WANT MY PROTAGS TO GO THROUGH IT BUT COME OUT AT THE END GETTING EVERYTHING THEY WANT. IS IT SO BAD I DONT WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN BITTER SADNESS EVEN IN A FANTASY MADE-UP SCENARIO? REALITY IS HELL AS IS I DONT WANNA BE SAD ALL DAY OVER INTERNET BARBIES, I HAVE BILLS AND TAXES TO DO.

so I make sure to plot with long term plot partners so we all get that character growth and exciting story with something good they can all take away in the end. No, the character doesnt have to die to prove a macab point. No the loving couple doesnt have to break up for some story twist. And thats what AU's are for if we're looking to explore something else so it's easy to separate from 👍

is there anything you really enjoy writing?

plot novellas 👀 I see a partner reply instantly to a plot thread and I jive for days on end until the next reply for real-- each one is a really juicy cliffhanger and a lot of them still haunt the back of my mind.

how do you come up with headcanons? 

most come with interactions or thoughts stemming from the game or story itself. Eventually they branch out and more ideas happen and a lot comes from looking at dash and bringing up some really interesting points!

do you write in silence or do you play music? 

Ambiance and music helps esp when silence is actually really distracting (thoughts wandering and what not-adhd be like that). The mood even influences the reply.

do you plan your replies or wing them?

planned for plot driven replies but ic bouts and simple replies are winged!

do you enjoy shipping? 

YES YES YES YES, though recently I have to be a little more careful about saying Im completely open to shipping on whim. At some points the plot involves the other person too much and it gets hard to move a story along esp with the nature of the rpc and the lifespan of interest in the muse/rpc (which is natural ofc!).

You're okay to show and express interest in shipping so we can take a direction with our muses interaction wise but I say it's not for certain until they develop some more long term. Who knows, maybe it was just a crush or a fling sort of thought :' 0

what’s your alias/name? 

Leche leche leche leche leche milk

age?

30

birthday? 

may!

favorite color?

red and greens

favorite song? 

Sugar, You by the Oh Honey has taken a lot of real-estate in my head lately--

last movie you watched?

I,,,havent watched a movie in a really long time Ill be honest OTL,, I dont have the attention span to sit down for more then twenty minutes if that.

last show you watched?

Aggretsuko final season! That,,,was awhile ago. See above oop--

last song you listened to?

Dont know the last song that played on my car radio 🤔

favorite food? 

spaghetti and meatballs and cereal < 3

favorite season?

spring 🌼

do you have a tumblr best friend?

ooh I dont want to make anyone feel left behind. My moots have a special place regardless of hobby or not <3

tagging: uh...

#ooc. ･ﾟ ✹ #tierra-paldeana #thank yooou < 3

[lunar-lair]

i think too hard abt leo being at the center of their little flame in the movie and i go INSANE

mikey may be the heart, raph may be the eldest brother and the protector, and donnie may be the smart one, but leo is the leader.

hes the one who knows them best. hes the one who hypes up the team. hes the one who makes the first move. hes the one who does the background tuning when he isnt leader, and hes the one who puts things together.

he doesnt work alone. hes only a leader because he has a team to lead, only the strategist because he has members to make it work, only the face man because he has a team to back him. and hes not the eldest, not the one they all look up to. not the heart, not kind. not knowledgeable on as much as donnie, not as “useful”.

but what he didnt seem to notice, for so very, very long, leader or not, is that hes their core.

his flame is small, but bright. such a seemingly simple place and simple role and simple existence, but hes the start of everything. the one who said, why dont we not go after a killer? and they met the foot. the one who understood big mama wasnt to be trusted.

and its small. he says, im just the face guy. just the leader. just the background strategist and the jokester and idiot fool who almost ruined everything. but he would do anything for them. he understands them best. hes the one the kraang feared most, the only one capable of pulling it into that portal, the one who lead the resistance and the man who raised the boy who won it all.

like i just..i dont exactly know how to get it across but. he really is their core. he isnt the heart, the brain, the muscle.

hes the soul.

the driving force behind it all. the one who pulls them along, the one who understands, the one who knows.

leo…hes the soul. and what he doesnt seem to realize is that they would fall completely apart without him.

if he wasnt there to run when big mama proved she wasnt to be trusted, theyd still be captured. if he wasnt there to tell them not to go after a serial killer in the first place, common sense and root and ground, they’d most likely be dead, fools that they tend to be. if he wasnt there to brew up this huge plan to get big mama to hand over that collar, they wouldve been toast when the shredder first arrived. and they wouldnt be the same family, the same team, the same people without him.

no ones quite sure hes there at all. the concept of a soul is so transient, so uncertain. but hes there whether he or anyone else knows or not. his smarts and his heart and his care and his unyielding willingness to make sure everyone makes it out alright (of course, except for him).

you may not notice, through his mask and his jokes, through layers and layers of tangible muscle and brain and heart and skin and bone, but hes living there. at the core of it all. a driving force, whether hes seen or not.

#hello welcome to my leo appreciation hours #i love him so much..hes got sooooo many layers to him he means so much 2 me #lunas lies #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise leo #uhh. well everyone else is kinda just mentioned so. eh #rise analysis #oh boy! never thought id get to put my own post in that tag hehe #long post question mark? kind of

[tobacconist]

'lol, everyone knows tigers arent real, youre so naive. you just WANT to believe in tigers'

'what? i dont want to believe in tigers, they just exist. they literally exist, its just a fact'

'well ive never seen one'

'yeah, cus theyre not native here'

'wow, very convenient'

'i can literally show you pictures.'

'pffft, oh yeah? go on then' (folds arms smugly)

(googles: tigers) 'look. theyre real, they exist, i literally dont know what else to tell you'

'wow, sooo convincing, ever heard of photoshop?'

'okay i guess technically this could be photoshopped, but do you really think all of them are?'

'obviously.

'ask an indian person. they have tigers over there. they kill people sometimes'

'yeah, well, indians are superstitious, they would say that'

'thats kinda racist. anyway, they DO exist, they fucking eat people, dude'

'oooh wow, a man-eating creature with sharp teeth and claws thats invisible in tall grass and doesnt exist in england, yeah, that totally doesnt sound made up'

(sighs deeply) 'what can i do to prove to you that they exist? do i literally have to import one all the way from the other side of the world and bring it here?'

'pretty much'

'okay then' (orders a live tiger from the dark web)

a few days later

'whatthefuckisthat. whatthefuckisthat' (visibly panicking)

'its a tiger. just like i said, i told you theyre real'

'holyshitholyshitholyshit'

'so, do you believe me now?'

'yes holy fuck anything you say just please get that thing out of here before it fucking kills someone'

'okay dude'

(tiger is loaded back into truck)

a few days later

(smugly) 'pfff, youre not still going on about tigers are you? everyone knows theyre not real'

(facepalm)

#many such cases

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i do think the jealousy in school reunion is really interesting i think thats a really fun part of the doctor companion dynamic to explore, what makes me roll my eyes is the we're both in love with him "the missus and the ex" thing

but like the jealousy thing on its own? just the flipside of the making people feel special thing that we explored a bit with 12. the doctor does single people out, does make them feel special, their attention is like a fucking spotlight who would be immune to that warmth

but the other side of that then is like, was it their attention that made me special? was it their companionship that made me special? thinking of donna going travelling "it's all bus trips and guidebooks and dont drink the water and two weeks later youre back home" like sure thats comparing what the trips are like but like, that also describes sort of like, who you get to be on those trips right? a tourist vs a hero

thinking of yaz in combat magicks being like "yaz liked wearing her uniform because it marked her out as someone who belonged anywhere. ready to help, and with the right to intervene. the doctor just breezed in and made the whole universe her business, like she was born to it, and yaz longed for that confidence." thats sort of what being the doctor's plus one gives you, right? access to everywhere, without consequences, except maybe your own death but the doctor makes you feel invincible too so you dont worry about that

so sure there would be jealousy but i think making it into an ex-girlfriend kinda jealousy flattens it? "in amongst 7 billion theres someone like you" and then you get to save planets. you become a part of the doctor's hero complex. you get to see beautiful amazing things but you also get to prove yourself a hero every day. thinking of rose "the doctor showed me a better way of living your life. you dont just give up. you have the guts to do whats right when everyone else just runs away" you get to feel powerful. you get a lot of agency where in your daily life you probably dont have a lot. thats what the doctor gives to those handful of the seven billion. so what if they take it away?

thinking of clara asking "why me?" and sarah jane "did i do something wrong?" why did i get this opportunity. and why was it taken away. was it anything i did? and if it wasnt, then doesnt that undermine all that agency you made me feel like i had? can i do this on my own too? and of course lots of companions prove they can, they dont need the doctor to be who they are but idk. i think it would still be kinda insecure-making when youre still with the doctor. when youre still in the middle of it like rose in school reunion. when you dont know yet what After will look like

and this is something the fam doesnt have to deal with i think. because they came to the doctor. they werent picked, they werent offered, they asked. they dont have to wonder 'why did you pick me'. which im kinda relieved about especially thinking about yaz? imagine having to wonder 'was i a friend of convenience' on top of everything else. oof.

and another thing is that of course for the doctor the rejection hurts just as much. when a companion says no thank you, your way of life doesnt seem that fun to me (anymore)

anyway so uh tldr i guess the jealousy thing is interesting but making it a romantic jealousy is not whats interesting about it

#sorry to make you read 600 words and then have no conclusion #started typing and hoped i'd find a point somewhere but i didnt #i think i just laid out all my most unflattering sides without really making a point in this #so #rip #i think actually what ex-companion jealousy would be more like than romantic jealousy is sorta like #old doctor actors jealousy #i mean all old doctors ive ever heard talk about it have been VERY generous and gracious but #theres also i think david tennant said once about filming regeneration that like #one moment youre the most important person in the room. or FEEL like that anyway #and the next EVERYONES attention is on the next guy and people are just like okay thanks bye #i mean im sure people are not that cold waving off an old doctor but like #i can imagine. one moment youre The Guy. the next youre... not #one moment youre The Doctor's Companion. the next it's this new girl??? hello?? #thats MY spot thank you very much #at least when youve been the doctor to all us dw fans youre forever the doctor #that doesnt go away #but if you were a companion and then you go back home. nobody even fucking knows #youre just. normal. nothing special. nobody knows of the things youve seen and done #yeah i'd be jealous. but not of the doctor's previous 50 girlfriends #just of the next 50 fgkfhjdghjfkdgh #solution is to take them down with me of course #none of clara's 'youre not dying with me die with the next one' nonono youre dying with me sweetheart #like i said. my most unflattering sides fhgkhgjh

[writingtohealmytrauma]

5/4/24

she left me 2 months ago and the pain is still so real and unbearable. 8 years of our life gone, she is now a stranger we dont talk, i want to talk so bad but she wants to move on and asked us not to message i want to talk to her everyday but i need to respect her decision's she still hasnt blocked me and i cant bring myself to block her number, not that it would do any good as i know her number off by heart, i managed to get the strength to archive our conversations so im not constantly seeing her name and our life everytime i message someone, i had been messaging her out of desperation and longing for connection with her and i can see by the read reciepts that she is seeing my message but choosing not to respond and it just hurts so much that this is clearly what she really wants and she is trying her hardest to get over me and us.

she tells me "We pushed it as far as we could" in reality she pushed it as far as she wanted. she tells me that she wants to have a family and she doesnt see a future with us after 8 years so she needs to leave me and find someone else to have a family with. she's 26 and wants to have kids before 30? so she cant waste any more time with us. i spent my life serving her, but it wasnt enough. i gave her everything. i literally made her breakfast and dinner every day for 3 years to prove my love to her, i flew her business class around the world i showed her a life she never dreamed off. i was there every day when she got home waiting to hear about her day, i ALWAYS made and had time for her always. she was my purpose i lived to serve her. all i ever wanted was to marry her, everyone use to have a go at me saying "why dont you marry her?" "hurry up and put a ring on her finger" like i was the problem? she was the one that would never commit. all i wanted was a family and life with her. I know her past trauma's have played a huge part in all of this, she come from a very broken family and has carried alot of trauma her whole life that she refused to deal with and that leaked into our relationship in so many ways. i truly believe if she had of dealt with her passed issues we would stil be here. she was not the only one to blame i also brought issues to the table but i have worked and turned myself out inside as a person to try and fix/overcome these and i feel i really did. she had an avoidance schema which was a real issue she would always run and shut off from us whenever things were hard, my mind is constantly telling me she was overwhelmed and her avoidance schema kicked in and thats why she ended it as there was no good reason to end it, weeks before she ended it she was telling me that she was finallly ready to get engaged after 8 years?? im so confused? I worry that she has realised this was an overreaction to a minor problem but her pride is stopping her from saying hey this is blown out of proportion can we try and fix this?? i would come running! i'd lay my life down to fix this, what ever it took whatever love she needed it is hers. I worry by the time she comes to this conclusion i will have moved on, not because i wanted to but because the pain is to great and i dont want to take my own life from grief. does one ever truly move on? will i still think about her in years too come? there is that weird sense of hope that we will get back together but i cant hold onto that. when we first started dating she saw a psychic (I dont believe in that stuff) but he told her that she was going to meet her partner and they would be together for life like penguins and that she would have twins with them. over the years i truly believed that and i made that a promise to myself that she was my penguin and that we would be together forever and have twins and i held onto that promise for so long, that promise got me through the hardest time in our relationship and now i feel its been broken it makes me sick to think that im not her penguin and some other man might be? she will have twins and a family with another man? makes me want to curl up and die.

It hurts so much that she wants to move on she couldnt do it anymore 8 years, meant nothing i know she wasnt in it for a long time i just kept pushing and pushing and exhuasting myself trying to fix it, i knew in the back of my mind that it was over a long time ago and that we wouldnt work in the future. she was my best friend though and the only family ive ever had all i wanted was to serve her and love her but there was always this twisted gut feeling in my stomach everytime i thought about our future, not from fear just uncertainty. we broke up once before for a short period of time and she bought someone back to our house within a couple days of us breaking up my mind reels at the thoughts of who she is with now who she is seeing.

**DREAM

I had a dream last night that we met up and i asked had she been with anyone else i asked her and i wanted her to say yes so i could hate her and move forwards in my dream she told me after a week of us separating that she had been sleeping with someone else she began to describe the sexual encounter to me with such joy saying it was hot and sweaty and that they didn't use protection and i remember feeling such a sense of a rage and sadness and sickness all at once in my dream, the though of her with another man made my sick. **DREAM

i woke up and i felt relieved as my mind was still telling me that was a real conversation and i hated her and could let her go and after properly waking up and realising it was a dream i cant shake the feeling the thoughts of that dream and what it meant to me. now i feel like i need to know if she is sleeping with other people so i can move on? WHY IS MY MIND ATTACKING ME LIKE THIS? i want to know that she is with other people so i can hate her so i can detach as i feel thats the only way i can move forward but at the same time i dont want to know either. i have no interest in other women right now, i dont think i ever will. i gave her every part of my heart and soul. ive only ever slept with 2 people in my life and have no interest in sleeping around being with other people, the thought makes me feel sick.

everytime i see anything slightly sexual it reminds me of her it makes me feel sick to my guts as to who she is with. i was her first and she was my second and to be intimate almost every day with the same person for 8 years is so special. i think its a mix of jealousy and fear fear because i know what other men are like and what they are capable and that she has not been exposed to how feral men can be and jealousy because what if she finds someone better than me? what if they pleasure her better or love her more. what if she is more attracted to them then me? she said to me that she still loves me and thats not that she doesnt want me she just doesnt think we have a future?? which is so insanely confusing cause how can you love and want someone but not be willing to commit to marriage and life together and risk going out into the world and hoping you find the connect you had with someone else.

she was my bestfriend, all i wanted was to be around her and in her presence and i think that makes this all so much harder for me. i feel like im one of those people that is always surrounded by people but feel so alone always. she took away the loneliness made me feel complete and normal maybe it was bad that i needed her to make me feel that way, maybe i should learn to feel that way before getting into another relationship. thats what everyone tells you to do. but does anyone actually truly do that? does anyone ever wait untill they are complete and feel whole before getting into another relationsip? i feel like if you were complete and happy being alone you would never get into a relationship at all so i feel like that kind of advice is a lie? what else would compel you to be in a relationship if you have learnt to be happy alone, i understand women having a biological clock and im led to beleive that some women have overwhelming maternal instincts and the need to have children but as a some what succesful male, if i learn to be happy aloen and enjoy my own company? why would i want to get into a relationship what would be the driving force behind that? so i think that type of thinking is a lie and fanciful.

i feel scared to go back home, i know i need to though. i left the state i live in to go stay with my cousins for a wgile to try and clear my head i dont know if it has helped our made things worse? im genuinely not sure.

im so scared of running into her, im so scared of running into her with another man. i dont know how to deal with these feelings of fear and jealousy. i just love her so much and my heart screams for her day in an day out.

even writing this now i feel sick at the thought the she is talking to somoene else and flirting with them and doing sexual things with them.

i think the hardest thing for me to grasp is her being sexually intimate with someone else. that seems to be the trigger for me to spiral and feel sick.

my psycologist told me that those are grief thoughts and to label them grief thoughts and that they will pass but they just make me sicker and sicker everytime i think of them.

im not eating, im not sleeping all i do is train. i feel so insecure and so scared i feel like ive aged so much in our relationship and that im ugly and un lovable so im just destroying my body to stay fit and become stronger than i am. i worry its becoming a mental ilnness almost a body dysphoria i hate myseld and everything about myself.

she was younger than me buy a couple of years and i know she is going to date someone younger than me and they will be fitter and stronger than me and it just hurts so much to think that.

i get angry cause i feel like she used me and robbed me of my life and my best years and that she never had any intention of seeing this through. she just used me as a vessel to get her setup in a career and financially.

#relationship #breakup #trauma #heartbreak #healing #self refle

[malewife-yoomyeongwoo]

Had another au idea for tsctir that involves HYJ going back in time (about 5-6 years) using the wishing stone, like before, except the wishing stone requires a payment of equal value to the wish (in this case, its at the cost of most of his remaining life) and he goes back in time with his current body.

So, HYJ shows up in the past (scars, injuries, leg injury and all) several months before the awakening broker incident can take place and desperately tries to get in contact with his brother. When he finally does (im thinking that HYJ manages to get HYHs attention cause hes waiting around his brothers guild for him to get back from a dungeon), HYH is shocked (his face twisting with dread? And maybe HYJ notes that the HYH of the future wouldnt have made the mistake of letting his emotions show on his face which makes him feel a bit nostalgic) to see his hyung in crutches and carrying injuries that he shouldnt have and looking older? more exhausted and worn down? than his hyung should be and he’s livid cause, what the hell happened while he was in the dungeon?

The change is too sudden and too severe for HYH to ignore and he has HYJ brought into his guild to get to the bottom of it. HYJ goes through the process of apologizing to HYH and talking and HYH has HYJ explain whats going on cause his hyung looks older, has injuries that couldnt have healed this much while he was in a dungeon, and his hyung uses his crutches like hes had them for a long time, and the notifications hes gotten of his hyungs current state doesnt match up with the hyung hes seeing in front of him; so HYJ gives a, very lacking, explanation (just enough to explain that hes from the future thanks to a wishing stone) but HYH accepts it cause HYJ is able to prove that its actually HYJ and not someone else using some kind of disguise.

So, due to everything surround his future hyungs situation (and how could he abandon his hyung when he looks so Tired?), HYH has HYJ live with him.

Its, awkward. At first. But HYJ is nurturing by nature. He knows he doesnt have long left to live. Hes not trying to get anywhere with the time he has left. Hes just, trying to do what he shouldve done for his dongsaeng. So, this time around, he doesnt hold back and he doesnt mind (though he does get bored) being confined to the house.

HYJ tells HYH lots of things about the future (his way of making it up to HYH for all the stress hed caused him pre regression) in order to help him grow his guild much more easily. And “all hyungs are equal” HYH is happy to have HYJ living with him again. His, significantly older, hyung who stays home and worries over him, cooks him meals that remind him of when they used to live together, and who dotes on him with lots of love and affection. His hyung who looks at him fondly, even if sadly at times, and treats him like a child (even more so than usual, which he blames on the larger age gap, even tho hes an adult, but its a dynamic thats oddly comforting).

During this time, HYJ realizes that he hadn’t seen HYH smile in the 8 years that they had been apart (except when hed died protecting him) and seeing his dongsaeng smile so easily and freely now just. Breaks his heart. HYH smiling an enjoying himself in his hyungs company is what gets HYJ to break his silence on what happened. He starts by apologizing, which confuses HYH cause his future hyung hasnt done anything? But the way HYJs voice wavers has HYH feeling concerned, but HYJ continues. “I dont know how id never noticed it before. Have you really not smiled in all the time we’ve been apart? Have you been happy at all?”

How had he gone so long without realizing a single thing? “I’m sorry I didnt notice how miserable youd been. I’m sorry for failing to be a proper hyung.” And maybe HYJs crying (but trying really hard not to) and HYHs trying to comfort him saying “It’s not your fault; i didnt explain anything” but “I should’ve noticed. You hadnt smiled all that time. It’d been 8 years. I dont think Id ever seen you look happy. How could I have been so blind?” And maybe he’s hugging HYH by this point and rambling “I was so caught up in my own anger after you left; so focused on how i felt that it took-“ he pauses “Yoohyun-ah. You died trying to protect me from an ss class lauchitas dragon that showed up in a d class dungeon i was in. It took you sacrificing yourself for me to realize you still cared. It took you dying for me to realize just how much i needed you in my life. How much i missed you and wanted you in it. I’m sorry for getting mad when you interfered. Im sorry for resenting you all those years. I’m so so sorry. I wish i could take all of it back. You didnt deserve any of that. I should’ve been supporting you. Im sorry. I’m sorry.” And, by this point, HYH knows that future HYJs been in dungeons and had awakened but he hadnt known all of this, but he does know that his future self wouldnt have regretted dying for his hyung. His hyung was his whole world; his life wouldnt have been worth living if hed lost his hyung. He doesnt say it though. Its not what his future hyung would want to hear.

HYJ, over the course of living with HYH (and sometime after the above scene), ends up convincing him to explain everything to the HYJ of this time. His relationship with HYH had been bad but he could still make a difference for his brother now so he does. So, instead of lecturing HYJ about the awakening broker incident (it helps that he knew it would happen ahead of time and why his hyung would even think to do such a thing), HYH apologizes and explains the situation. He explains why hes been getting in his hyungs way; why hed left; why hes cut off contact (seeing future HYJ as distraught as he was before gives him the push he needed to actually be honest about everything) . They end up talking for a long time and their conversation ends with their first hug in 3 years (and maybe an award winning act that resembles what had happened in the original timeline to prevent people from realizing anything’s changed) and a promise to keep in touch and hang out from time to time (albeit discretely; just until HYH has the best guild in Korea). And maybe HYH, at the recommendation of future HYJ, gives past HYJ an envelope containing a lot of cash and tells his hyung to pursue what he really wanted to do with his life; to get the education he had given up for HYHs sake? Idk

When future HYJ sees HYH return home, he looks much more relaxed and like a weights been lifted off his shoulders. It also makes him feel horrible again for not realizing just how much hed made his dongsaeng worry over him —how self centered and uncooperative hed been. It leaves a touch of guilt, bitter in his chest, lingering. But he also feels happy knowing that HYH wont have to suffer the way he did in the pre regression; that things wont have to get as bad as they did.

Of course there’d need to be scenes where HYH gets to enjoy being spoiled and HYJ cant say no to HYHs puppy eyes (especially cause a 20yr old is easily still like a kid in the eyes of a 30yr old); i just dont know what kinda scenes to make happen for this yet (pls let me know if you guys have any ideas)

As HYJ starts to reach the end of his life, the effects of the sacrificial wish stone starts making itself known. HYJ starts to get weaker and weaker; he tries to brush it off telling HYH not to worry, but the first time HYH comes home to find HYJ collapsed on the floor, HYH panics and forces him to see a doctor. When the doctors cant find anything wrong, HYH is about to start going off (to ask for more tests to be done), but HYJ stops him saying theres something else he needs to come clean about regarding his situation. And, when the doctor leaves, HYJ explains that the wish stone was actually a sacrificial wish stone, and he’d sacrificed most of his life in order to go back in time. This information leaves HYH feeling really distraught and he tries to find ways to increase his hyungs life span or improve things in some way, but nothing works. HYJ paid the price before regressing. But, he was able to do what hed wanted, so hes not too upset. His main worry is that HYH would feel sad, so he talks to past HYJ about everything and makes sure that he wont make the same mistakes that hed made (makes sure that his dongsaeng wont be alone this time).

When HYJ reaches the end of his life, hes already bed bound. Hed lost the strength needed to carry himself but now hes having a hard time moving his arms and anything more than talking drains him. He knows hes going to pass soon. HYH takes a vacation just to spend all of his time at his hyungs side. HYH tries to smile and keep things light hearted for his hyung, but, when HYH thinks HYJ isnt looking, HYJ catches HYH looking so sad. Then, one morning, HYJ Knows hes not going to make it to tomorrow and he lets HYH know. HYH tries to hold it together at the news and doesnt leave his side. HYJ doesnt miss the way his hands tremble at the news. The past HYJ is brought over at future HYJs request (he wanted someone to be there for HYH) and, when the time comes, HYH is sobbing and trying to give HYJ some of his own life force to keep him around but HYJ is like “No. I’m ready to move on now. Thank you for giving me the chance to make up and thank you for taking care of me and i love you and im so proud of you.” And he tells the other HYJ to take proper care of his dongsaeng and to be there for him and past HYJ nods and thanks future HYJ for helping to mend their relationship.

And, this time, HYJ is the one who gets to smile softly as he looks at his dongsaeng for the last time.

#tsctir #the s classes that i raised #fic ideas #sacrificial wish stone au #han bro dynamics #han yoohyun #han yoojin #doting parent han yoojin #pain :( #HYJ regression #post and pre regression HYJ exist simultaneously #pre regression HYJ #post regression HYJ #tsctir au

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Part 6 really cements the theory for me. Instead of beomgyu liking her this entire time and oc actually being the on friendzoning, i think its more like he caught feelings on top of the strong love and care he already has for oc. i dont think he can top ocs love for him but he definitely loves her imo definitely (reasonably) stronger than what yeonjuns giving oc. also this whole never being satisfied with yeonjun makes me feel uneasy for him, a relationship like this would make anyone feel like shit and its clear he knows she still has feelings (i guess because shes starting to choose him over beomgyu he didnt drill her more about it during the breakfast scene?) . idk any sane person who would get into a relationship with someone clearly in love with someone else, which also makes me wonder his motives? like is he doing this just for the experience lol or does he genuinely like her enough to think this might work? i dont know its confusing to me, or maybe im taking this too seriously and i have to put on my fanfiction glasses 😂

As much as id love for gyu and oc to be together, because im just the biggest sucker for toxicity and a best friends to lovers storyline, phew this really proved to me how ingenious an ending like that would be. It just doesnt make sense no matter how many trials I run in my head of them being in a healthy, happy relationship. Everything leads to them losing their friendship if they started going out romantically which is so so heartbreaking to me 😭😭 I dont exactly know what made this click for me this specific chapter but god, is there even going to be a guy for her 🥲? And even if its Yeonjun, itll be a sad ending for even the yj supporters. Even if she learns to love him, i feel like youd allude to her having some part of her heart still loving gyu 😭

yeah yeonjun seems to be getting the short end of the stick isn't he? but maybe he really does hope she'd choose him? he's not pushing much right now because they've only been going out for a few weeks but who knows how he'll act later on? or maybe it really isn't that deep 😂 i did say that i'm in my wattpad era with this fic so don't expect deepness from me lmao

they could end up together at the end of the fic and break up later 😂😂😂😂 though it feels like they're gonna lose their friendship either way...

oc is so obsessed with gyu right now but you have to remember she lives with the guy. she sees him all the time even if in this chapter she says she hardly sees him, she still lives with him. who's to say in the future if she distances herself from him she won't move on?

#mort talks #jealousy jealousy

[thisdreamplace]

any tips on how to focus on the 4d and all that you’re manifesting while also not getting distracted by what OTHER people are saying or asking? For example, ppl keep asking me what I want to do in life, what I’m planning in life, or that it seems like I’m goalless with no direction. Those questions for some reason bother me and put me in a funk, because it feels like I have my dream career in the 4d, but then ppl in the 3d come in saying stuff like this and then it just reminds me that THEY don’t see it.

my biggest tip is focus on the 4d and stop being so hyperfocused in what you're manifesting. tbh.

i so resonate with this bc omg. i used to (internally) FALL APART when people asked me anything in the same category as what i was manifesting. and i knew all the great teachers said "it doesnt matter what you say, its already done" but for the life of me i couldnt fully feel that, i couldnt grasp it or accept that at all. i always felt so bad and full of anxiety even after giving my answer, wondering if i've fucked everything up. def not fun.

for me, i stopped caring about it when i realized i dont have a reason to fight against my current reality or pretend things arent as they are. whatever everyone else sees, is whats true, sure. on the outside. so i don't need to walk around like it's not what it appears to be. but i go within myself and i know how i feel and i know whats true for me. its that feeling of i don't actually need validation. its just, i go within myself and i become one with god and i keep that close to my heart. and i think thats why you kinda have to let the whole hyperfixation on your desires go, on the level that it feels more like ur still trying to prove to urself ur truth. bc really. when u know in ur heart something is true, when you have accepted it within, you're not as easy to shake. sure you may have moments where you're thrown off or maybe even feel some type of way, as is normal for this human experience. but you really won't be that bothered by it so often and so easily.

yall its honestly so okay (and often SO HELPFUL) to be able to say, "yeah with the way things look rn im not where i wanna be" AND accept that. rather than being like "no no the 3d is wrong my 4d is right" its okay to let the 3d flow, to be what it is, and hug your inner world tight. bc really thats all u need to do. hold on close to your inner world and let yourself live in the 3d as it is, enjoying every moment, knowing each experience is just part of the unfolding of the beautiful things to come. thats really how you go about living within yourself, and the outer world simultaneously.

<3

#not me with the throwback LMFAO #ive been thinking of that reddit post sm lately bc it was pivotal in my journey haha

[himbos-hotline]

What do you think needs improvement in wwe and aew

OKAY so prefancing this by the fact I have not watch WWE in over a year and the only things I know about WWE now is what im getting from tumblr

both companies need to stop relying on the old stars/ old wrestlers needing either a money hit or a cash hit or like another grasp at talent. as much as I LOVE daddy ass and re-living my childhood in wrestling but like I get sooo tired of seeing people relive the glory days when they shouldnt *cough* ric flair *cough*. like theres sooo many talented younger wrestlers that arent getting shown on TV/ in the companies because older wrestlers get quick pops because of the nostalgia run. I see goldberg one more time I will actually explode.

Aew needs to book more womens matches and treat them at the same like bundle and preface as men! Like give us a womans blood and guts!! and more womens matches in genearal where its more of a rough and tumble vibe with blood. My favourite womens match is the thunder rosa brit baker cage match!! Also give me more nyla like I love nyla rose sooo much and shes so talented and cool and I wanna see her wrestle more

also things that feel like "small" tag teams, like the best friends, arent being like shown how talent they are. I know that sentence doesnt make sense. But re-watching aew during the pandemic era- where you had the trent vs kenny match it was so good and it really showwed just how cool and talented trent is in the ring and I think both him and chuck should be allowed to wrestle more and actually wrestle like do moves and win matches, theyre not just to push other talent or let newer tag teams win, its kinda depressing when taented wrestlers arent used in the way they deserve too

another thing and this is just for me, maybe this is just for me. Like long term storytelling suddenly either being shifted/stopped. Like do you remember when mox was facing [I think its either max or jericho] and someone like attacked him backstage and we NEVER EVER got told/figured out who attacked him and its kinda just been forgotten? ALSO as much as I love the elite and the hangkenny storyline and hangman rejoining the elite. He caused so much issues and trouble with everything and he hurt them, like matt said that bte episode "it hurt my heart" and theyve all like, just kinda accpeted him back. No like deep apology or "you have to prove yourself" or whatever. Its like they forgot the entire three year story they told. Also kenny finding out about the fucking nod- it could have been done so much deeper and sadder and emotional, the bucks have been there with kenny since his breakdown/breakup with kota and theyve always had his back until the one moment he needed them and they sided with hangman. But instead of all of that we got "k its cool" and I dont know if its gonna like come back up after all the kenny dealing with callis emotions is gone. Cuz thats gotta like fuck someone up mentally, suddenly loosing that abusive manipultive hold on you suddenly disappearing.

and FANS!! like, I love wrestling fans but also god I hate them so much. Guys, Guys I am begging y'all to stop showing wrestlers fanfics/ship-fanart and everything else. its not like made FOR them its made FOR other fans. I wouldnt want to be exposed to being shipped with my friends by people online. Like....ugh. ALSO like a small thing that pisses me off is fans thinking we can like, touch them in sexual ways. this is mostly cis-het men touching cis women wrestlers on their asses and tits. Like you wouldnt like if someone fondled your dick without asking. Concent is important and its not just for ike, fucking. its for every single thing in life. Yall can cuddle the wrestlers if they say you can but god if youre making people uncomfortable and gross its fucking bullshit and youre a sucky human being.

#this is mostly just a vent im sorry #mouse has pals #anon notes

[joonsytip]

first of all i love ur pfp and tsd and PHEW- selfish indeed! Your writing is amazing so i hope you dont take this as a critique of that bc it's just the Characters i wanna gossip abt heheh. I'm the anon from waaaay back who was team dk and now ive decided....im team OC. maybe in the future when reader has a chance to properly look at dk then yes but hannie is NOT it for her oh my gooooood like i felt like i was rlly watching a drama like, jeonghan 😭 how did you make this poor girl suffer for 2 years bc of ur own complex. Reader wasn't faultless bc she did keep approaching and shoulve put her foot down sooner but tbh jh was too wishy washy with his actions and made it seem like he purposly was trying to go out of his way to hurt her and then oh a week later, he's in love???. I like the cheol part when he gave advice like cheol and jihoon were the MVPs along w chae but srsly. The cheol part gave us more insight into jeonghans side but bro just bc u have some deep hidden repressed feelings doesnt mean u get to treat oc like that thinking its cute. Tsundere is cute, straight up rudeness isn't. Cheol was so right when he put things from reader's perspective like how are u gonna treat reader like a bug for 2 years then turn around and say u love her. Noooooope, its a no from me 😭. I respect what jihoon said the most like reader can be persistent as much as jh wants to get his redemption. Reader hit the nail on the head when she said he doesnt love her, he only loved being pined after, because thats exactly what it is from her perspective because jeonghan seriouslyyyyy fucked up instead of being honest to his feelings or aware. At this point im so pissed off w jh (the fictional one hehe) and i just want reader to be happy. The friendship dynamics in this are the absolute fucking best !!!!!! Seriously the office culture and dynamics in this MADE the story and i lived for it. I just want reader to transfer and live her hot girl life while jeonghan pines and lives in a puddle of regret. He's gonna need to show a lot more sincerity. Right now he's just trying to prove himself, as jihoon said he's just trying to redeem himself by doing all these flashy things that are just making reader question him more and make her feel like shes being mocked. As cheol said, he needs to put himself in her shoes like the underdeveloped eq jh has in this 💀. Goes from i hate you to i love you in a week and wonders why his sincerity didn't reach. i sweaaaaar he frustrates me like nobody else ughhhh the way you made his flawed character was so good like u had me feeling so much anger over a fanfiction 😆. It balanced out so nicely like the cluesless jh and cheol who sees the bigger picture and wants his friends happiness and then reader who is passionate in her love and jihoon who is really mellow but sees everything for what it is. Then we got the trouble makers and office clows along with the dependable friends and bff hao. Hsjsjs soooo many good character, this was such a good cast!!!

I like healing loves and loves that complete you, jh feels more like a puppy crush that makes ur heart race, the kind love that breaks ur heart and u have to learn from- and thats ok! For example, she has a great attraction to jeonghan and went crazy when he wore the red top (goddamn i would too, that chic office wear????) Like jh excited her but a love like dk feels more like home, you know? What i would tell reader if i could is that life is sooo much more than that boy you think is ur first and last love. Sometimes what u really need is ur friends and to enjoy your youth bc this aint it and in my humble opinion jeonghan is not it for her. I know they'll end up together bc its a x jeonghan and this is a fictional world but i took this way too seriously bc i got invested LMAO. Felt like i was in the damn office with soonyoung fighting the copy machine and texting boo seungkwan from the rival office next door about all the drama just to hear his hot takes 😂 I wanna have a sad bitch party with reader and chae and just blast 'you're not sorry' by taylor and then bust her out in a hot outfit for a revenge type plot LMAOOOO the way im sucked into this fanfic you would not believe hahahha. Like reader shows up at the og office after her transfer looking like jeonghans dream girl and she gives him the same treatment he first gave her 😤 the reversallll!! Oh my god and she brought her new coworker, hottie kim mingyu who anyone can see from a mile away is a literal 😍 around her like theyre giving puppy gf x puppy bf and jeonghan is feeling the heat hehehe. As u can see im fucking delusional and ive continued this scenario like its my own life in my head for so many different scenarios LOL.

Thank u for writing and listening to my ramble<333

Gosh. First of all, ANON WE SERIOUSLY NEED TO TALK???? I really loved how you laid out your perspective about the storyline and the character, specially the protagonists.

I do get where your thoughts are coming from and tbh it's a real tough deal to make Jeonghan get his redemption arc coz redem. arcs have always been difficult.

And the way you continued the storyline after the part 2, it's so satisfying actually???

Thanks for dropping by and please keep rambling on me from time to time, I love it! 😂🫶

#the selfish dilemma #joonsytip ask

[kidfoundonstreets]

last post

walking into his room like hiiiiiiiii sirius pov switch cant have noel having too much thoughts THAT IS NOT CAT SCRATCHING DOOR SOUNDS BUT ITS SO CUT EOH MY GJFDFHDROIQH3EROIQ3HE31OI CAT BRINGS EVEYRBDOIY OTGETEHR!! I LOVE CAT even if it might mean smth bad because black cats are known to be bad luck (even though thats complete and utter bullshit) but its also part of the monsters EVEYRBODY HAVINBG THE HEART REACITON TO THE KITTY ME TOO ME TOO noel claire and sirius interactions lets hecking GO yoiud think sirius would be heartless but nah if the cat must be fed the cat must be fed

OIH NMY GOD THEYA RE EFVRYTHING TMOME WHY DOES THE CAT LOOK SO CUTE. THEY ALL LOOK SO CUTE. THE WAY NOELS LOOKING AT CLAIRE. THE WAY SIRIUS IS JUST BEIGN PRETTY BOY. THE WAY CLAIRE IS BEING CLAIRE. IM SO FUCKIGNS AD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS CG ITS INSTANTLY ON EOF MY FAVS thank frick is sirius disliked cats i dont think id ever be able to forgive him rest in peave books........................ dogs are worse when it comes to organizing maybe sirius should just get a fish or a pet rock like a nerd (affectionate) SIRUSY CATBOY!! SIRIUS CATBOY!! SIRIUS CATBOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO DRAW THAT SO TRUE CLAIRE ther sibligns ever... leaving claire alone with the cat gives me a bad feelin g but alr alr

ITS BEEN DROPPED,, the flashback though. agh. it makes me wonder if he’ll become more protective over claire sirius really is the best person to know about this but his mental state is so fragile if its tampered with the wrong way

dead on the floor. this game is just feeding me so much info and man i am LIVING for it it took so many loops to get to this point but man its happenign1! real!! but im just scared that ashe ansd wilardo might do something before then or overhear.d ahghjhhg. the murder is always sudden LOOK I LOVE SIRIUS AND I KNOW THAT ON IMPULSE THERE IS THE SLIGHTEST HCANCE HE’D KILL FOR DOROTHY BUT HE ALREADY THINKS SHES ALIVE AND SHE WOULDNT BE PROUD OF HIM but also i think like noel said he isnt the type of person to do that at all just. i fjhjkhhgh they make me so emotional WHAT. IS. UP. WITH. NOEL. WHY IS HE LIKE THAT WHATS HAPPENING TO HIM I STILL DONT GET IT IT COULD JUST BE STRESS BUT WHAT IF IT IS SOMETHING WORSE “just like lady dorothy” ouch. i really wonder whatr hes going to do now,, claire hows it feel reminding so many people of the dead

rouge looking genuinely slightly worried >>  guess she just got reminded of ashes wish ashe we can all agree is pthe most desperate one here the death rates literally prove it. idk  agh. so much could be wrong if noel chooses someone that betrays him?? i dont know i dont know HTE THING WITH THIS GAME IS THAT THEY ALL HAVE SNESIBLE WISHES BUT. GHHGHGJGHH

bbbbbbb babygirl there are so many things wrong with you. please stop IM GETTING SO UPSET OVER NOEL I REALLY FEEL LIKE ITS GOING TO GET WORS EAND WORSE AND THE FACT HRE WAS JUST THINKING ABT NICHOLAS BEFORE IT UGHKJHGKH BUT HE NEEDS TO THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS IF HE WANTS TO GET ANYTHING DONE I DONT KNOW his body is destroying itslef even after this will it have a permanent effect  wait if the demon affected him that much of a time ago then why didnt it happen earlier./... why at the worst times side lime time my beloved according to the intro she gets a lot more screentime i think? or maybe all the demons do so hell yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MUSIC GOES SO HARD ANFD FOR WHAT lim e what thwe ruck okay listen!! i love her!! i think shes a really cool chafractwer and has a nice deisng + personality but when it comes to this i want to dropkick her to the absolute sun  wilardo being weak to emotions even after all these years. gn.

girl . shut up at this point youre just reaching in for your own desires you just want someone else to suffer or be like you ughyejkghgrheghghgh. shes not wrong. but thats because ashe cared so much that he cant move on. hes stuck in denial because he doesnt want to accept it him becoming a demon would be the complete opposite of what his family would want. but then again it feels like hes thrown that away with all of the things hes done but UGHYGH ITS COMPLICATED just jfc driving him insane with his own dreams idk man ashe desevres so much better please let him get proper therapy and help hes been so isolated lime stop self projecting and talkjing to yourself stop catching other people up in your misery i am so done killing them all noel would never do that even if he did he’d just feel so much unbearable guilt he’d feel no different than his father  idk idk i love this game :’D

#kid's heart #sorry for so much text and already known statements i am having a time #posting the two so it isnt too much flood but i have more

[red-dyed-sarumane]

what the fuck is up with akire ocs. masterpost made way too quick while i need to sleep. i was going to add images but im tired feel free to look at the toyhouse pages tho

723 - behavioral issues. by choice. shes just like that.

aira - trapped in xeir own personal ever changing hell. like literally xi is stuck in a world that feeds off of & changes based on fears.

aisha - killed by her best friend.

alstroemeria - selectively mute until an injury made her permanently mute. often mistreated by people who think they know best bc she can't verbally argue with them

amari - she is willingly in such a fucked up relationship. constantly being framed by and the subject of bad rumors from her gf (fuyue)

amaryllis - no one listened to her or took her seriously so she ran away & when no one came to look for her realized no one really cared anyway! (isolation)

ash - was trapped in the same hell world as aira but made a deal to get out. her morals are destroyed from it & she tries to trap others in the world so she doesnt have to go back

cestria - idk what her deal is. shes just violent. hashtag influencer things i guess

cherry - u know what i dont think she has any. hm.

chime - no sense of self. theyre exclusively a mirror, intentional or not, of the people around them

chira - commits to the bit too much. will exploit people for views

cleo - refuses to get involved even when she can help. she only wants the scoop on drama

crian - currently, she beats herself up over not being able to help void before they ran away & thinks its partly her fault

daelryc - trust issues

dusk - naturally more violent than ur average person. also trapped against her will

feisha - family issues only fushia knows about. they wont talk about it to anyone else.

fjahva - his mom hates him. he gets kicked out if he tries to come back home. among other mistreatments

flora - trapped against her will & forced to participate in ethically questionable experiments

fushia - mild childhood bullying

fuyue - everything (no). malicious, petty thief, constantly lying for her own amusement, frames her gf for her crimes, blackmails, etc etc etc. why? shes bored

glacia - bully. manipulator. potential murderer but she hasnt stooped that low yet

greeml - theyre self conscious of their ears bc theyre pointy. thats like their worst problem. bc i love them

hanabi - social media poisoned mind. shes not an influencer she just needs to get offline

helix - playboy. self obsessed. used his own blessings on himself enough the other deities demoted him to demigod.

iono - despite neither of her parents being qualified to care for a kid she surprisingly doesnt have any serious problems

iraidis - carrying the weight of being rejected by several generations of people & erasure of proof of her existence

itsumi - shut in by choice & lost all her communication skills. very familiar with escapism

jade - idk i havent thought about it enough yet

keppi - also carrying the weight of generational rejection and erasure

kin - theres just so much wrong with her. she's taking herself down and the world with her. or just kinako. either works

kinako - straight up no will to live she endures whatever kin does to her. or doesnt. she dies a lot.

konome - orphan? lives in the woods with his sister & causes problems for people (""natural"" disasters)

kumo - god complex (they are not a god). the fact they arent dead is a miracle bc they are so stupid and bold and rash

kyeslu - weird girl. no one hates her per se but no one really gets along with her either.

lavender - also trapped in her own hell world

lilium - cave explorer. in the tundra. i think that counts.

linesus - (my sister :) ) well. shes dead. guess she had worm farming trauma too idk

lyra - bullied :(

lyrica - also in personal hell world

maien - shes just massively unlucky.

malshay - power complex (is that what its called??) needs to prove shes better than everyone.

manayo - causes problems on purpose. shes a fox demon she can do what she want tho

meimu - haha trauma of dying repeatedly while the worlds falling apart etc etc shes an aru sekai fan oc thats all i need to say

meision - idk i need to think about her more

meringue - got mad once (unfairly discharged from her job) and now shes a serial killer. hashtag girlboss or whatever

meshika - orphan? lives in the forest with her brother causing problems for people. has definitely killed people but good luck proving it

mkoom - victim of capitalism

nuria - disrespected & killed. now carries the stress of maintaining an entire world with her mind

oken - trauma (?) of turning into a cat against his will

paolo - would rather be a bird than a person

pomgara - distrusted & frustrated by it so shes rather sharp

refrichi - trauma of using her ability. not only accidentally killing people but also casual self harm so she can protect herself (she controls blood. if that makes it make more sense)

rhonda - unsuited to her home country & the problems that come with that. not necessarily stockholmed but she did fall in love with a serial killer

roselii - bad home life. she's overprotective bc of it

ryuusei - isolation of being in space only to come to earth & have to act like a celebrity

sarlina - blank spots in her life bc her ability consumes memories if shes not careful.

saturday - petty.

saturn - burden of maintaining balance in the world. emotionally isolated bc of it

scarlet - bully manipulator liar etc etc and all for her own gain. started bc she didnt want to get punished for bad grades & then she never stopped

sepheria - trust issues. emotional isolation bc shes from a different time period & no one will understand

sera - forced into a sort of celebrity type role he didnt want

seyla - idk what to say here she doesnt really cause problems & she doesnt really have any. mischievous at most

shaia - abandoned his duties as the weight of them was too much. somehow still a deity regardless

sometya - doesnt like people. scaredy cat. yet theyre always off exploring other worlds

sora - ability related trauma. naturally a kind hearted person but she's killed people & it haunts her

teila - tired of rejection she'll promise anything to get her way. ironically shes a shitty mom who rejected her son

tobio - trust issues & quick to argue.

towaka - accidentally got herself trapped in a video game & no longer has control over herself or a way to communicate

vanilla - fear of the unknown & stays in an area that frustrates her bc of it

viridia - victim of her own sister, verbally tormented, tricked into going places she shouldnt & losing important items bc of her only to come home and get told her sister wouldnt do that she should be more like her.

void - we've been over this. bullying into a mental breakdown into 8 years of physical and emotional isolation

wyndi - also carrying the weight of generations of rejection & erasure

xeli - victim of various poisoning attempts that dont work bc theyre immune

yuclenya - isekai'd into a world she knew nothing about, didnt speak the language, was cornered by people looking for a fight, only found out she had an ability when she used it out of fear & it thoroughly cut up her hands

#akire's ocs #i should pick up alter world stuff again. it would be cool if i could figure out how to execute it right #anyway we are going to ignore the implications of repeated themes & just go 'wow! characters!' #kind of sad the cats took over as ultimate partnership bc lyra & sepheria had an interesting relationship #bond with ur gf by taking her back in time to escape her bullies #i feel bad bc i have a lot of disconnected stories in the same world & people like to complain about others doing that #i guess its okay bc i only draw them once wvery 5 years anyway #if u want story specifics for anyone u can ask btw. since i never say much anywhere

[catholicjinx]

*poke* bsd vampire au but they’re not like the vampires rn- thoughts 👁👁🎤

OH MY GOD. SO MANY THOUGHTS

okay so. im gonna be honest the vampire thing going on in bsd rn is Not very vampire. friendly id say. ofc its altered to be from the source of an ability but the vampires being mindless and more just. controlled by bloodlust and the need to infect other people is so far off. from regular vampires. because traditionally vampires Did infect people but not so much as just. people dying and coming back as vampires. and them just needing to feed (they dont even come out every night!!! they used to be put in coffins that were specially designed to keep the vampires In and theyd. bury people alive to test if they were vampires. kinda freaky but really the story is they come out for feeding on general human energy, since Vampyres Very Traditionally were just old ancestors that came alive at night to feast on the energy of the living) so it was more 50/50 in a way? anyways. bsd vampire au

SO. im gonna do this in a bulleted list with just regular. characters. and rhe ones i favor the most rn lol

Chuuya - he wouldnt necessarily be a violent vampire but he would feel guilty about his feedings. he wouldnt need blood as often as the average vampire because of his smaller stature but i do think he would come home and immediately shower and feel awful because hes stripping himself further of humanity and like. idk. dipping into stormbringer a bit: since he Is the original chuuyas body, just hosting a god that essentially makes him half human, i think hed be obsessed with proving his humanity to himself to try and live up to what he Should Have Been. the happy boy that the flags said he was. so him becoming a vampire and being fully conscious of it would both be a Huge internal struggle and even an external one - since vampires cannot be seen in mirrors i think he would also have some body image issues! (i Know he does. Really.) but overall, he'd make the most of it. dazai would tell him his fangs are hot or whatever and itd get to him sometimes and the windows in his office would constantly have to be covered up. but he would be ok. also hed wear the SICK ASS vampire 1800s esque clothes and totally live in a gothic mansion with too many books and fireplaces. i know it.

Dazai - him turning vampire would really just. corrode his humanity even further. not only would he question if hes fulfilling odas dying wish but hed question if hes even being honest with kunikida and the rest of the agency by being a "changed man" like he claimed. his feedings probably turn into episodes, most likely having to feed once a day and feeling nothing during it but the guilt would sink in after. he would probably become something of a hermit, only letting his closest friends into his home and hiring So Much staff to take care of his mansion so he doesnt have to be seen by anyone else. his suicide attempts would probably become more drastic (and as vampires are immortal, hed only be left a lot more upset afterwards anyways). on the brighter side, some days would be better than others, and some days he wouldnt sleep in a coffin and prefer an actual Bed. and he would absolutely look like he hasnt slept in 100 years. oh and hed have duo fangs (8 fangs instead of just the traditional 4) and would probably keep heads of garlic around the house for fun. and hed grow his hair out tbh!!

Akutagawa - HE GETS ME THE MOST!!! TBH!!! HEEEEE he was the first one to get turned. for sure. and i especially think he was turned because he was bit by another vampire, his (rural town that i hc him to have grown up in despite being an orphan) buried him vampire style and put a slicer above his neck to behead him when he tried to rise. he did anyways, and since vampires are immortal, hed have a bright red scar on his neck where he was decapitated. hed feed more regularly, especially because he was sicker in the afterlife and now has to make up for it while hes undead. gin would Not be a vampire, but theyd live in a vampire mansion/cottage crossover where she takes care of him and he swears to never use her for feeding, even if he needs blood. his fangs would be small, but very sharp, and hed dress. the same way he does now lol

Atsushi - his turning was difficult. i think it wouldve happened while he was at the orphanage: he got sick, the director brought in a "doctor" to treat him but he ended up being bit and turned, and the director threw him out for behaving unlike the other kids and accused him of being possesed by. something (this also ties into my religious atsushi headcanon so stay with me here). since vampires originate out of religion, i think atsushi wouldve been Heavily raised on catholicism and both felt guilty for becoming the thing he was supposed to hate (catholics hate vampires and anything relating to the supernatural. atleast from someone who was raised in the catholic church, theyre very reserved and punish things that seem to resonate with the devil because it suggests satanism. lol.) and also would probably try to make up for it by becoming obsessive with his relationship with the trinity. ya get me. i think eventually hed accept that he was turned, but hed still feel worthless because hes doing something he deems inhumane especially through his trauma. as for appearances, hed have an interesting fang set where the bottom fangs are very short but the top are long, and i think one of his top fangs would be like a snaggletooth :3 its just very atsushi

Poe - really hed just accept it all together. his turning was ordinary and i dont have anything specific for it Yet but i do believe that he probably used it as an excuse to keep writing novels super late at night lol. also he would feed Very irregularly and itd be super unhealthy for him, so when he met ranpo he would be constantly lectured on keeping a regular feeding schedule. also hed be so scared of the sunlight hed have 100 umbrellas

Ranpo - gluttonous, got turned on accident and was terrified when he couldnt see his reflection at first but then realized he could use this to his advantage to fuck around at night whenever he wants. food isnt necessary for vampire survivial and it makes literally no difference since they straight up just absorb the blood they consume so he took So Much Advantage of this and now uses it to eat as many snacks as he wants. hes still a renown detective and participates in cases often, just from the safefy of his home. he would also have snaggleteeth and double fangs like dazai

Fukuzawa - was turned late into life and found that it didnt really make a difference, so he settled in a mansion and started an organization for vampires that dont prefer going out and feeding on people and would rather just have willing participants/premade blood without the hunting part (particularly ranpo, poe, and atsushi use this. sometimes gin too if akutagawa cant go out to feed). hes like a dad to everyone and treats his vampire staff like his own kin even though they may be scared of him. also he dresses like a 19th century goth novel protagonist. i don't make the rules

#THIS IS SO LONG IM SO FUCKING SORRY #i tried keeping somr of this to the original stories but i got so off the rails with fukuzawas its like #half canon half Im Autistic And I Love Vampires. yaknow #anyeays thanks for asking this i have the insane urge to make an entire au and draw them as vampires now and. AUGH... #asks #alice 💜 #vampire tag #save #i definitely have more thoughts but this is long as it i s and i am NOT making coherent sentences anhmore. oops