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let-them-read-fics · 3 years

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Yours Truly (Pt. 2)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Here's the second and final part of the imagine, gang. I hope you enjoy the adventures I wrote for you! Let me know about your fav part(s)!

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 1 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

5.) Epiphanies

A Week Later

"Yuqi, why the hell did you drag me here? I'd so much rather be writing…" you shove your hands further into the pockets of your hoodie and look at her with a scowl. Rows of people fill the bleachers around you, everyone excited for the football game that's scheduled to start soon. Happy couples sit together all around the stadium, and the sight only works to remind you of how weird things are with Jisoo right now.

"One: it's a Friday night and you need to let loose, and two: I wanted to come, so you have to tag along by default. The rules of friendship are very simple, Y/N," she trails off, tilting her head at you with a smile.

"Well I am gonna go get some food," you imitate her, "Do you want anything?" You stand from the bench and look down at her, noticing how her permed hair sticks up in a few different places. You smooth it out for her as she answers, "Nachos, please."

"Alright, dork. I'm sure the line's kinda long, but come look for me if I'm not back in 20." She pats your butt as you leave, and you just shake your head with a smile.

"--I know! Did you hear about Lee's new girlfriend? I heard she got in a fight with his ex last ni--"

"I'm fucking starving bro."

"Yeah, they totally hooked up at Jackson's party!"

Various conversations work their way to your ears as you walk towards the back of the line, but you attempt to not get too invested in the gossip. As welcoming as your school tends to be, even it has its fair share of scandals and drama. You've never been one to care about rumors though, and you don't plan to start now.

"I heard that Jisoo likes someone."

Funny how plans can change in an instant, don't you think?

You can't find it in yourself to ignore the childish desire to eavesdrop, so you listen in as the line slowly shifts forward with each new customer served, doing your best to be inconspicuous.

"Supposedly she's been into them for a while but they don't know about it. I guess Lisa is planning to get them together tonight or something, I don't know." You recognize the brunette speaking as Seulgi, a dance major that you share a couple classes with. She's talking to Yeri, whom you've seen a few times in passing.

That must be why she was defensive about the kiss; she has feelings for someone else.

"Ooh, that'll be interesting. I can't say that I'm not disappointed, though; now Jisoo's gonna be off the market." The shorter girl frowns, basically reading your mind with her statement. You've never fooled yourself into believing you have a chance with Jisoo, but knowing that she'll be whisked away by some lucky classmate of yours definitely isn't an easy pill to swallow.

You pass the remaining wait time by imagining who that person may be. Jisoo has a lot of friends, but you've never seen her around campus with any particular love interest; she always puts her studies first, deciding that her education is far more important than any potential relationship.

You remain lost in your thoughts until it's your turn to order.

"Hey Y/N, what can I get for you?" The cashier greets, resetting the register as she grins at you.

"Hi Yeji," you smile back, happy to see your old friend again after what feels like forever. Your busy schedules have kept you from hanging out much lately, but seeing her now is something you're grateful for. "I'll take two waters, a medium nacho, and 1 hot dog, please."

"You want everything on it?" She asks in reference to your last request, assuming you still stick with the order you used to go with in your childhood.

"You know it. And make sure to--"

"--spread the toppings out well. I remember, girl." She says with a wink, turning around to get started on your order. The familiar interaction warms your heart, aided by the idea that some things never change. After she packages your things up in a convenient little container, you thank her and pay, walking away with a promise to meet up at the school's café next week.

About halfway back to your seat, something unexpected happens.

"Rosie, we can't buy out the whole place. This is the 4th trip we've taken back here and the game hasn't even started yet!" You freeze as you round the corner, almost dropping your food as Jisoo's low voice sounds off nearby.

"Unnie, I didn't even get to eat much of the other stuff at all! Lisa and Jennie stole it and shared it with everyone else," the artist pouts, rolling her hands into fists at her sides like a toddler.

"Fine. But this is the last trip I'm taking." She warns, rolling her eyes when the Australian attacks her with a flurry of kisses. "Yah! Let's go before we miss something." She says, pushing her off of her with a smile on her face.

Even her voice makes your heart ache, and it reminds you of what her kiss felt like against your lips. It was short, no doubt, and barely there; but the sparks remain, waiting to be reignited anytime she's around. Maybe you're just destined to pine.

----

"There you are! I was literally about to go steal some food from Shuhua because you were taking so long."

"Yeah, yeah," you say, sitting down beside Yuqi with the cardboard box in your hands. "You're lucky I love you enough to pay for this. Now I'll have to survive on 3 grains of rice and ramen for the next few weeks."

"Oh, the struggles of being a broke college student." She says woefully, clutching her hands together in front of her chest to add to the effect.

"Precisely," you agree, scooting closer to offer her some nachos. When she tries to greedily take the whole tray of them, you're quick to stop her.

"Ah, ah, ah," you warn, pulling her wrist back down. "We're sharing, chica." She huffs, but eventually settles down and decides to shove her face full instead of protesting anymore.

Now, with your best friend happily eating, you relax and begin to prepare yourself for the match.

"LET'S GO!" You shout with Yuqi, chanting together as your school's anthem echoes throughout the stadium. The rival team has been behind the entire game, but they closed the gap in the last few minutes and now it's neck and neck. Your band plays loudly to encourage your team, and it seems to be working; they manage to repeatedly hold the others off and keep them from scoring.

It's the start of the fourth quarter now -- the home stretch. With their spirits still high, your team continues to keep victory out of their opponents hands. The black paint underneath their eyes is really streaked now, showing all the effort and sweat that they've put into the game so far. A beautiful sunset just previously gave way to a rapidly darkening evening sky, allowing some stars to peek out now.

"My high school team sucked; this is epic!" Yuqi says, making you laugh. You tear your eyes away from the heated game to say something to her, but all thoughts soon disappear from your mind and you stop mid-sentence.

She notices your sudden silence and looks at you, only realizing what's happening once she follows your line of sight. Jeong is standing against the metal fence that borders the track, mingling with everyone at the bottom of the bleachers. That doesn't bother you, but what you see next certainly does; you spot Jisoo beside him, giggling at something he said as he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Oh shit," Yuqi breathes out, fully grasping the weight of the situation now. She doesn't even attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he knows how in love you are with Jisoo and yet there he is, flirting away. He's the only other person besides Yuqi who knows of your feelings for the brunette, and you really trusted him with it. Clearly that was a mistake. You blink a few times and set your jaw, quickly looking away as he moves closer to whisper something in her ear over the noise of the crowd.

"I'm gonna head out to the car. Just let me know who wins," you mumble, brushing past her on your way toward the exit. You know there's no way you'd be able to focus on the game anymore after seeing that, so going is your best option. She catches your arm before you can slip away, and says, "Wait, I'm coming with you. And don't even try to tell me no; I can always watch highlights later. I'm not gonna let you be alone right now."

Knowing it's pointless to argue anymore, you nod once and wait for her to gather up her trash and coat. "Let's go," she says, taking your hand after tossing her garbage in the can conveniently placed at the end of your row. She squeezes it a few times for reassurance, and a bittersweet smile works onto your lips at the gesture.

You don't notice how Jisoo's eyes follow you, every fiber of her being yelling at her to go after you. She hates seeing you sad, and although she isn't 100% sure of the reason for it now, all she wants is to cheer you up.

"So, Jisoo. Do you have any plans after the game?" Jeong smirks, quirking a brow suggestively at his own question. Jisoo grimaces, saying, "Yeah, I do. I have to study." She tries to find you in the crowd again, but it seems that you've already slipped away.

"We're throwing a party tonight, you should come." He leans a little closer to her, but she takes a step back. The only reason she's even talking to him right now is because Lisa introduced them, and it would be impolite not to. She turns him down, yet again sneaking a glance around the stadium.

"No wonder Y/N's too chicken to ask you out; you're hard to get, but I don't mind a challenge." Her head whips around at his statement, heart regaining that familiar uptick at the mention of you. "What?" She blinks, not believing her ears. Surely she was just hearing things.

"I said I don't mind a challenge," his words come out slightly slurred, and the effects of the alcohol he's been drinking are beginning to show themselves in all the wrong ways. The more he talks, the less Jisoo can stand him. "Look, Jeong -- I'm not interested. I'm sure there are other girls here that would love to get to know you, but I'm not one of them. Now, if you'll excuse me," she says, turning her body to the side to maneuver around him and get to the stairs. He lets her go without another word, his pride too bruised to come up with a more fitting response than a muttered insult.

She makes quick work of getting to the parking lot, where she spots you approaching Yuqi's car, head hanging a bit. Seeing you upset saddens her, and she's determined to find out what's wrong.

"Y/N! Wait up!" The shout catches your attention, and you slowly spin around. Jisoo begins to jog out to you, and a scoff slips past your lips (though you don't put much effort into stopping it). You're hurt, and half of the reason for your pain is staring right back at you like nothing happened.

"What do you want, Jisoo?" You sigh, not looking forward to where this conversation will most certainly go.

"I want to talk, Y/N." She's in front of you now, scanning her eyes between yours to gauge your reaction.

"What is there to say? Just go back to talking to Jeong; you looked like you were enjoying yourself." She can hear the jealousy laced in your tone, and things finally -- finally -- begin to click for her.

"Is that what this is about?" She asks in reference to your sadness. The question isn't accusatory at all; she's genuinely trying to piece things together.

A disbelieving laugh leaves you at that. How is she still so oblivious? "Yes, Jisoo, it is. I just had to witness someone who I thought was my friend flirt with my crush. So yeah, that's what this is about." Sensing that she doesn't know what to say, you decide to conclude things for her. This is already pitiful enough, and you'd rather spare the both of you from having the "it's not you, it's me" talk.

"Look, I get it. You don't like me back, and you were only trying to be friendly by inviting me to the rehearsal that night. Just please, for the both of us, forget it even happened. Forget all of this. It was a mistake, and I won't do it again."

Jisoo hates that you're jumping to conclusions without even knowing her true feelings; you automatically think that she couldn't possibly feel the same, and you use her moment of silence as a form of evidence to prove that. The complete opposite is true, though you'd never give her enough time to straighten out her jumbled thoughts and tell you that.

She finds her voice when you turn away, and she reaches out to touch your hand. "Stop, you've got it all wrong." Your eyes glance down to your intertwined hands, but you wiggle out of her grip with a heavy sigh. Over your shoulder, you shakily say, "You don't have to pretend for me, Jisoo. I'll be alright. If he makes you happy, then so be it."

With that, you get in Yuqi's car and tell her to drive away, leaving Jisoo to deal with the sinking feeling in her chest that worsens as the car's tail lights grow dimmer and dimmer in the distance. You're gone, and she really has no idea how to come back from this.

6.) Broken Hearted

The next few weeks were hell. You avoided Jisoo as much as possible, too embarrassed to face her after what happened and too weak to be close to her again. You'd surely fall even harder if you allowed yourself to grow any closer, so you didn't take the risk. How could you? Falling alone isn't an enjoyable experience, and you've been teetering on the edge of no return ever since that afternoon at the daycare.

It was hard enough to escape her hold -- her face was everywhere, plastered on ads and bulletin boards all throughout campus, on reminders and sign ups for student council. You used your sick days in order to hide away in your dorm and block out the world, only being comforted by Ryujin when she wasn't busy with her own life or Yuqi when she could spare a few hours. They always made sure to care for you as much as they could, knowing first hand how tough heartbreak can be -- especially with the added stress of schoolwork.

One person you thought about often was Jeong. Every time he'd cross your mind, dirtying up your brainwaves with the mere notion of himself, you'd grimace. He didn't deserve the attention, and yet you couldn't help but question why he did that to you. He hadn't reached out since that night, likely due to Yuqi giving him a piece of her mind after the game. He made it clear that he wasn't sorry, and that if given the chance, he'd play his cards even better and hopefully score a date with Jisoo.

Maybe that was the worst part of it all. Hearing that it hadn't just been a stupid thing he did because he was drunk; he realized the weight of his actions, and he'd do it again, over and over, without caring about how you fit into the equation. That football game was simply a turning point, hidden in plain sight as an unassuming night for you to hang out with Yuqi. But you learned more then than you had ever intended to; Jeong's selfish, and he probably never even cared for you in the first place. The idea of that makes you feel dirty -- like you wasted so much of your time with such a horrible person, sticking up for him and defending his name when he wasn't around when he never even deserved that in the first place. You wish you would've known who he really was back then; you would've stayed away.

Unbeknownst to you, Jisoo was struggling much like you -- minus the whole "betrayed by a best friend" situation. Every time that she showed up in class, she hoped with every piece of herself that you'd walk through the door and grace the room with your presence. You seldom ever did, though -- but when you ran out of free days of absence and were forced to attend class in order to keep your grades up, you never even uttered a word to her. She'd make it a point to ask questions in class, hoping that hearing her voice would bring something out of you, as yours did to her. She longed to talk to you again, if only for a minute; but your resolve remained strong, and her determination grew weaker as the days went by.

Being the person she is, though, she knew giving up wasn't an option. After a few weeks of that cycle, greeting stands were placed at the front doors of each complex on campus, manned by different members of the council. She came up with a story for the administration on the fly, using her people skills to convince them that it would be good for student morale and getting more people to join clubs. It was a great effort, but she underestimated your avoidance skills; you thwarted her plans again, slipping right through her strategically linked fingers.

Eventually, she lost hope. She exhausted every option she knew to try, and the girls ran out of new ones as well. Seeing their unnie so upset saddened them, and they did all they could to cheer her up in any and every way they knew how.

7.) Premiere Night

"Y/N, get up. You're gonna shower and get dressed if I have to force you to do it myself." Yuqi commands, blasting into your room and flipping on the overhead light that shines far too bright for your liking.

"Mmm," you groan in protest, not even bothering to roll over.

"I mean it; don't test me, you know I'm true to my word."

"Why, Yuqi?"

"Because we're going to the performance tonight. The big show that everyone has been going on about is premiering, and you're coming with me to see it."

"I can't do that." You say, her words sobering you up from your sleepy stupor.

"I know who the lead is," she informs, already knowing about your reasons for being hesitant, "and that's precisely why we're going. You can't keep living like this, so either go get your girl, or agree to be friends with her and work past what you're dealing with."

"You sound like a mom at the end of an 80s movie."

"80s movie moms are valid, so I'll take that as a compliment. Now go!" She shouts, shoving you off the bed. You tumble to the floor in a heap of blankets and pillows, still managing to hit your funny bone as you let out a pained groan.

"Remind me to slap her later, Ryujin."

"Will do." She salutes, reaching a hand down to help you up. With one last glare at an annoyingly bubbly Yuqi, you head to the bathroom to shower.

----

"How do I look?" You ask, looking yourself up and down in the skinny mirror attached to the wall.

"Is it gay if I say I'd ask you out?" Yuqi asks with a smile, fanning herself animatedly when you strike a pose.

"Very much so, yes."

"Well, hand me the rainbow suspenders, then."

You push her over with a laugh -- the first real one you've shared in a while -- and wrap her in a hug.

"Thank you, for real. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you." You say against her shoulder, pulling back to look at your roommate and add, "Either of you." The three of you settle in for a group hug and tell a few more jokes before Yuqi finally drags you out of the dorm.

----

"How does it feel to be back in society?" Yuqi whispers, leaning in close to you to read the seat numbers printed on your tickets.

"As lame as ever." You add, amusingly unenthused.

"You're never gonna convince Jisoo to date your dumbass with that attitude." She retorts, feeling a little guilty when she sees your expression change upon hearing her name. You're afraid to see where the two of you will stand at the end of the night, so saying it's still a sore subject is the understatement of the year.

"I'm messing with you, dude. If she doesn't want to be with you, then it's her loss; but I highly doubt that's the case. I've heard she misses you a lot." For once, Yuqi's words are halfway encouraging to hear, and you let out a light smile.

"Well I'm prepared to worry about that whole situation later. For now, let's find our seats and enjoy the show." Your best friend quickly agrees, and the two of you squeeze through the crowds in the aisles to get to your row.

----

"Jisoo, I promise you'll do well. You've been practicing for months; you've got this," Soo-hyun says, rubbing his co-lead's back in reassuring circles. The certainty in his deep voice gives Jisoo some semblance of security, and she stands to look at him with one final, nervous sigh. Stage fright has never been this big of an issue for her, but the size of the crowd and the idea that you might be out there scare the hell out of her. She wants you to be there with all of her heart, but she doesn't know if she'll be able to handle watching you walk away again. The past few weeks have been torture, and she misses your presence and witty remarks more than she ever thought possible.

"Thank you, Soo-hyun. I'll meet you out there in a couple minutes, just let me collect myself."

He nods and says, "Take your time. I'll let Mrs. Choi know," before leaving and shutting the door behind himself. Now alone again, Jisoo digs through her personal bag that lays neatly on the small futon of the dressing room. When her fingers come in contact with that familiar material she's spent hours staring at, she bites the inside of her cheek and unfolds it for the millionth time. Multiple poems and blurbs litter the page, accompanied by cute doodles and cartoons here and there that give it a personal feel. She's spent the time away from you methodically working through the different writings, restraining herself from reading all of them in one setting so that she can have new content from time to time.

She's down to the last one, now, and a surprising sort of realization hits her when she reads it. It instills within her a sense of determination -- determination to get you back and set things right, one way or another. She makes a plan to find you after the performance.

-- After The Performance --

It was even more spectacular than you ever imagined it could be. The school spared no expense in getting the best props, employing the most skilled technicians on hand, and recruiting the best artists that the school had to paint the backdrops. Everyone behind the scenes worked tirelessly to produce the best show possible, and their efforts really paid off.

And, of course, you can't forget the actors.

The entire cast was incredible, their talent matching some of the world's most sought-after stars. Every part was played to perfection; even the smaller, supporting roles were acted with passion, really bringing the piece together as a whole. The production left you wanting more, too inspired and awestruck by the amazing performances to be content with just seeing it once. So, after numerous calls for an encore, the cast returned to run through a few of their key scenes.

---

As the cast takes their final bow, large cannons placed on either side of the stage shoot out bursts of colorful confetti, and you watch it flutter down around them. Some try to catch a piece or two to add to their scrapbooks, wanting to have a trinket from their college years, while others just hug each other and twirl around with content smiles on their faces. The crowd continues its loud cheering, and eventually you find the courage to sneak a glance at Jisoo.

To your surprise, she's looking right back.

Her eyes hold a mixed softness; she's proud of herself and glad that you came to support her on such a big night, but part of her wants to escape the busyness of it all and tell you everything she's been feeling. She'd be content with looking at you forever, she realizes, as she studies you. You're the true star in her eyes, always shining so bright and making everyone feel at home whenever they're around you. She hopes you know how special you are.

Mrs. Choi approaches the cast from stage right, gathering their attention to congratulate them and commend them for their performances. Jisoo reluctantly looks away from you, unsure if it's the last time she'll be seeing you tonight. The thought upsets her, but there isn't much she can do about it right now; so, she gives her attention to her professor and flashes that smile that makes everyone weak in the knees.

You knew it was just a matter of time before she'd be pulled away and immersed in some conversation about the show, but the selfish side of you never wanted her to look away. No matter how confusing things may be because of all of your unresolved issues, she still looks at you like she always had before -- her gaze is kind, albeit bittersweet, but it's full of care. Seeing her like that makes you feel like even more of an asshole than you already do -- maybe you should have just listened to her at the game. Running away was an immature choice, rooted entirely in your own sadness in that moment as you deprived yourself of any explanation she could've offered, though you can't judge yourself too harshly. The situation is complicated, and you still don't know whether to hate yourself for running or go easy on yourself in light of what happened.

When Yuqi sees you stand up and shuffle towards the end of your row, she sends you a warning look.

"Dude, I'm not gonna run away. I'm literally just gonna step outside for some fresh air, I promise." She visibly relaxes, no longer having to prepare herself to wrangle you back into the seat.

"Fine. But if you aren't back in 15 minutes I'm coming to track you down. You really need to talk to her."

You sigh, nodding in agreement. "I know, trust me. Just let me get my thoughts together first." She sends you off to do just that, but not until the two of you complete the special handshake you made up all those months ago.

---

Brisk air rushes over your skin in waves the moment you exit the side door of the building, automatically sending goosebumps to raise in its wake. It feels nice, though; it grounds you, and works to cool off your heated skin. The atmosphere inside was thick with the tension you've been feeling ever since what happened that night at the game, and its effects were only heightened by the raw performances of the evening. Passion and longing were the driving factors of the play, ironically, and many of the scenes drew eerie parallels to your current situation. So, it's no wonder that you're thankful to step away from it all for a bit.

You greet a few stray audience members that're puttering around outside as well, opting to walk down a little further away from them and lean against the building. The wall's brick material feels rough against your back, lightly scratching it whenever you shift your weight from one foot to the other. You don't mind it, though; it's oddly nostalgic, somehow.

When you hear the door open again, you think nothing of it. The metal hinges latch just the same as they had for you, so there's really no reason for you to even look up. However, that all changes when you feel someone's eyes on you.

Unprepared is leaps and bounds away from being a fitting statement to describe how you feel in that moment; Jisoo stands merely 10 feet away from you at most, right next to the stage door that she just came out of. Her hands fiddle with the drawstrings of her costume, seemingly always needing to be occupied when she's nervous or unsure of herself; it's a habit you've picked up on after seeing it so many times.

The longer you look at her, the more you want to look away; she's so beautiful it hurts, and the silence is eating away at you. You can't blame her, though; neither of you know what to say or do, and the only thing you seem capable of is staring at each other. When you break the intense eye contact you were sharing to turn away, only intending to take a minute to collect yourself, Jisoo is suddenly set in motion.

She's afraid you'll leave again, and she's prepared to fight even harder for you this time.

I love you as the stars love the night sky

A fateful, cyclic romance

A game of eager greetings and reluctant goodbyes

Those words -- ones that you remember penning one day in class while completely entranced by Jisoo -- roll from her lips effortlessly, as if she had spent time committing them to memory. She had, in fact; whenever days passed without her even catching a glimpse of you, she always found herself unfolding that note again, tracing a finger over the curve of your unique letters as she reread the poem. It always brought her comfort to think that you were in just as deep as her, and a similar sense of hope blossoms in her chest now when she spots an unbelieving smile tug at the corner of your lips as you slowly turn to face her again.

You're still into her, and she's falling even deeper at the realization. Maybe she didn't lose you after all.

She takes calculated steps towards you and breathes a sigh of relief when you stay put, not showing any signs of running. The wheels in your head are going into overdrive now, turning and churning as you process her little recital, and she prays with all of her heart that you won't be upset once you put two and two together.

"How did you…"

"You dropped it one day, and I picked it up. I meant to give it back to you, but I guess I just never got around to it." She feels a little guilty for keeping it as long as she has, but it's served as a way of keeping you close during your time apart. Those bits and pieces of you, scattered around on that page, encapsulated by the annotations and doodles you so kindly left behind, have stayed in her heart. Ever since she discovered it all that time ago, it's never been very far from her; she cherishes it more than you'll ever know.

"You didn't show it to anyone, right?" Your voice is laced with worry, lowered a bit to keep others from overhearing.

"No, no! Of course not. I just… kept it for myself. You're really talented; I couldn't stop reading your stuff."

"Thank, I guess?" You awkwardly chuckle, still a bit rusty on how to interact with her after everything. Plus, to be fair, having your crush read one of the love letters you wrote about her is a bit unheard of. Newfound territory, you think to yourself.

"How long?" You ask after a minute of silence, only realizing how loaded your question is after it slips past your lips, turning into a puff of steam in the chilly atmosphere. "How long have you… felt that way about me?" You quickly add, "Assuming that you feel what the poem says, of course."

An amused smile tweaks her lips at how cute you are. "I do, Y/N. I always have; ever since that afternoon at the daycare."

"Really?" The question is quiet, full of childlike disbelief.

"Really. It was always you." She says it freely now: unafraid.

The sentiment is sweet, but memories of the football game come flooding back and you're reminded that as much as you want to skip this next part, you still have things to discuss.

"What about Jeong?"

"What about him?"

"Did you ever like him?"

"No. The girls thought so, but it was just a misunderstanding. That's why Lisa introduced us at the game; she thought I had a crush on him, but I told her that you were always the one I was looking at. I told all of the girls that, after that night."

Her confession renders you speechless -- only capable of listening and nodding every now and then. She takes advantage of your silence to finally explain herself and tell you everything she's been dying to.

"I didn't know you felt the same until our talk in the parking lot. I mean, I was hopeful after some of the moments we had, but I didn't know for sure until then. I wanted to beg you to stay and hear me out, but you left before I had the chance."

You blink a few times as the reality of her words begin to sink in. "I had no idea…"

"Yeah, well…" she trails off, unsure of what to say next. She's forgiven you for walking away, knowing you were just hurt, but the whole situation still left a bad taste in her mouth. So much pain could've been avoided for the both of you if you had just listened.

"How did they take it?"

"They yelled at me for waiting so long to tell them, but then they tried to help me get you back. Remember those student council booths?" She leans in a little closer to ask that last line, her lips pulling to the side in that iconic smirk of hers.

You audibly gasp and point at her animatedly. "I knew that was you!"

"Mhm, pulled some fancy-sounding excuse out of my ass to convince the board, and boom; 20 brand new tables set up the next day. I still can't believe you managed to slip past them, though. I mean, c'mon, have you seen how talkative those kids can be?"

"Trust me, it wasn't easy," you laugh with her. "I had to sneak to the back entrances like a drug dealer."

"I can totally see that."

"I'm dedicated, what can I say?" The stupid hair flip you do makes her laugh even harder, clutching her stomach as those beautiful sounds slip past her lips.

As your shared laughter eventually turns into soft chuckles, she smiles at you, saying, "I really missed this. I missed you, so so much."

"I've been a wreck without you, Jisoo. It's honestly embarrassing."

She looks at you with something new shining in her eyes, and she carefully contemplates what she's about to admit. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course."

"I rarely cry, Y/N, but I did over you. So you have no reason to be embarrassed. It seems like both of us were pretty bad off." She looks down after saying that, scuffing her foot against the concrete of the sidewalk. Being vulnerable isn't usually easy for her, and she never really lets people see that side of her -- not even the girls. She feels like she has to stay strong for them to keep things running smoothly, but she fails to realize how important her own feelings are. You're different, though; she feels like her entire collection of secrets would be safe with you, and you make her feel secure enough to be open like that.

When she feels you step closer and hook two fingers underneath her chin, her eyes dart up to yours and her heart speeds up. Your other arm hesitantly wraps around her waist, giving her plenty of time to step away and deny you. You've spent so much time convincing yourself that she couldn't possibly want someone like you that you're genuinely surprised when she steps further into your embrace, pulling your arm tighter around herself.

Her right arm comes to rest loosely on your shoulder as her other hand caresses your forearm, rubbing various patterns against your smooth skin. "I tried so hard to get you to pick up on my flirting," she starts, playing with the baby hairs at the nape of your neck as she holds you close. "Every touch," she runs a finger down your arm, leaving a trail of electricity in its wake. "Every look," she moves her hand from your neck to your cheek, cupping it sweetly as she gazes into your eyes. She strokes your skin with the pad of her thumb, smiling beautifully when she feels you nuzzle into her hold even more.

"And that kiss…" she says, sounding breathless at the mere thought of it. "I wanted it to last forever."

"Why didn't you tell me that, then?" You ask, not even a trace of anger in your tone. You're determined to let go of all the hurt and fear that your misunderstandings have caused, opting instead to finally get the answers you've wanted for so long. "After I came back from putting Aera to bed you were just… different. And then when you said it was just a part of the script--"

"I know. I was afraid that if I let myself have you like that -- if I let you in all the way -- there'd be no going back." When she sees the confusion building in your eyes, she continues on. "I don't usually let myself get distracted; I can't afford it. You know how seriously I take my studies." You nod, recalling the numerous times you've found her in the library until it closed, studying hard for the exams everyone knew she'd ace. "But you wiggled your way past every line of defense I ever put up. You became my favorite distraction." A dopey grin tugs at your lips at receiving that title, and you subconsciously hold your head a little higher.

"But I wasn't prepared for that. You make me feel things that I've never felt before, and I really didn't think I could afford to let myself have you. Not fully, anyway. I could deal with a crush; I told myself I could keep you close enough that I wouldn't miss you, but far enough that I could keep myself protected."

"What changed?" You ask, smoothing your hands over the small of her back, feeling the heat radiate from her skin. They've worked their way under the hem of her shirt during your conversation, subconsciously seeking to share her warmth, and Jisoo has been acutely aware of it the entire time.

"When I saw you walk away like that I didn't know what to do with myself. I've had people leave before, so it's not a new thing; but I never missed them like I've missed you."

A bittersweet, melancholic look settles on your face at that; she deserves every good thing that the world has to offer, so knowing that you played a part in her sadness -- whether it be direct or indirect -- disheartens you a bit.

"But you're here now, and that's all that matters." She says, leaning her forehead against yours.

"And I'm not going anywhere," you affirm, holding her even closer than before. She brushes her nose against yours with a quiet sigh, relieved to be in your arms, caught safely in your warm embrace. If falling feels like this, she's more than okay with it.

"Can I?" You ask, glancing down to the heart shaped pillows you've dreamt of having against yours again.

She nods, uttering a soft, "Please", as she tilts her head to the side in expectancy. You close the remaining distance, bending your knees slightly to tighten your hold on her waist and pull her flush up against yourself. Both of her arms wrap around your neck now, occasionally coming down to tilt your head and allow her better access, or run her fingers through your hair. It's sensual and meaningful, but an air of urgency hangs in the air, thickening it the longer her lips are on you. Both of you are making up for lost time, so it's no wonder you're so eager.

She takes your bottom lip between her teeth as she backs you up, pressing you against the brick wall that you had migrated a few steps away from during your conversation. If she were kissing anyone else, perhaps she'd care about the strangers staring, or what they might say; but as she stands here, feeling your hands explore her body in the ways that she's dreamed of and your lips kiss her senseless, that's the furthest thought from her mind. Her hands grab at the collar of your shirt, balling the material up in her palms as she pushes her lips against yours from a new angle.

When you eventually pull back for air, you can't help but say the phrase that's been sitting on your mind for weeks. "I love you."

Her heart speeds up to match yours, both of them racing as you look at each other with giant smiles on your faces. "I love you, too. If you hadn't already guessed that," she chuckles, leaning up to kiss you again. This one's more innocent, though -- full of giddiness as you replay each other's declaration in your minds.

"Y/N L/N IF YOU AREN'T OUT HERE--"

Yuqi bellows loudly, blasting through the side door and out into the chilly night air. The metal smacks against the wall from the force she exerted, and you physically cringe at the sound. Jisoo does the same, quickly pulling away to find out what's going on.

When Yuqi's line of sight settles on the two of you, her eyebrows raise and a smirk lands on her lips. "Well, well, well. Looks like my work here is done," she says, cocking her head to the side self-assuredly when she sees how swollen both of your lips are and how mussed your clothing is. You send her a look that she registers as "Get lost", and she retreats back into the performance hall with her hands raised in surrender.

"Idiot," you mutter under your breath, shaking your head as you watch the door close behind her, its poor hinges still recovering from her assault. Jisoo's giggle makes you turn back to her, finding a breathtaking smile forming on her lips. "You're so cute," she coos, poking your cheek, "especially when you blush like that."

You fight the bashfulness that attempts to take over, managing to cock a brow at her and say, "Hey, watch it -- I might not be so kind in my next poem if you don't stop teasing me."

"Aww, don't be like that, baby."

She tenses up after realizing she let that pet name slip out at the end, but your smile only widens.

"Say that again."

"Baby," she drawls in her signature sultry tone, stepping closer to you again.

"Mmm, I could get used to that." You hum against her lips, pressing yours to them at the end of your statement.

"Good, because there's more where that came from."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm," she settles into your arms again, looking into your eyes with so much love you nearly swoon. "This is only the beginning for us."

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darkpoisonouslove · 3 years

Text

Winx Club Rewrite Is a Go

I don’t know how I ended up here because I’ve always maintained that rewrites aren’t my thing (and I still kinda do) because it feels a lot like reading the same thing over and over again and to me it can be annoying. Yet, here I am with my very own Winx Club rewrite.

I started writing the first episode today but I have A LOT planned out already. Seasons 1 and 3 are pretty solid already even if there is still a lot of character work to be done and logistics to be figured out. I also have some structure for seasons 2 and 4 and I figured out the backstory of the Wizards of the Black Circle yesterday and that gave me an indescribable feeling which is pretty much what I took as a sign that it’s time to talk about this project.

To explain what I am doing - I am taking everything and changing it while keeping it the same. If that doesn’t make sense, then imagine that I am keeping the major plot points and most of the episodes (I have removed some because they are just irrelevant) have the same starting and ending point as they do on the show but there are big changes between those. Seasons 5, 6 and - you’ll find out in a sec - are going to have a lot more changes. I have removed transformations and switched around some of the transformations so that they are earned at a different point than in canon. I have picked a place to end this already and I have arcs for each season.

Now when it comes to the seasons, I have removed season 7 which will be done as a “movie” and will have additional plot still because there really is THAT little to season 7. Season 8 becomes season 7 in my rewrite and is the last and final season. It is the end of Winx’ journey and I think it is a satisfying end to a pretty long story. I am keeping the movies but:

1) There will probably be “movies” after seasons 1 and 2 as well just to make the structure make sense and because I feel like there is enough to be talked about between the seasons.

2) SotLK is majorly different from canon because there was no sense to that movie and only plot holes instead. I’ve saved what was salvageable from it and mostly put it in season 3 to free the whole movie for more interesting and logical stuff to happen. The end goal is the same, though - bringing Marion and Oritel (and Domino) back.

3) Magical Adventure is the least changed but there will be several changes here as well. The plan is to make the movie relevant on a wider level than just to Winx and the Specialists but I still don’t have that clear a vision of it. Just some things that I want to see but need piecing together.

3) The “movie” after season 5 will deal with the season 7 plot instead. I have switched them around. There will be Kalshara and Griffin and Faragonda and some major Bloom drama as well. I need to make these pieces connect, too, but this one feels almost coherent at the current time.

4) Politea is saved for the last movie that is after season 6. You’ll see why. Anyway, major Daphne and Bloom feelings are planned for that movie... and I don’t know what else yet. We’ll see.

I am currently working on all of the seasons and all of the movies at once so it is a bit of a mess. I write down and rewrite ideas. Everything is one big map in my head that isn’t completely translatable to someone else. Anyway, you can find everything I have posted about this in the “wc rewrite” tag. You can ask me questions if you have them and I’ll see how much I’ll share while trying to resist the urge to spoil everything because I have been at this for about 5 months now and I have so many ideas that I adore and want to talk about. Despite that I have no idea how quickly I can work on it. This is bound to take years which was the hardest part of this project for me to reconcile with but I really want to do it. So let’s see how that goes.

I want to say that I am planning on doing one episode a chapter but because I have decided to both develop the characters and be self-indulgent, that will make the chapters long. I don’t think that they are devoid of tension or action, however, because this thing is packed with so much stuff happening. Here’s a little sneak peak from the first episode:

“Bloom, honey, wake up,“ Vanessa’s mellow voice reached her through the colorful explosion into which her dream was retreating.

“Just five more minutes, mom,” Bloom mumbled as she wormed her head under the pillow to block out the interruption. She reached for the fairy princess in her dream with hair of liquid light and a touch like sinking through the reflective surface of a mirror that showed none of Bloom’s own features to her. She’d lose not just the way but her own self if she let go of the figure in front of her.

“You’ll be late for school, sleepy head.”

The woman evaporated in a heap of steam with a nasty hissing sound that rattled Bloom’s bones as she jumped into bed. Vanessa’s apologetic smile came into focus to draw a groan out of Bloom’s parched throat as she threw her head back.

“Not funny, mom,” Bloom grabbed her fallen pillow from the floor and plopped herself back down on her mattress, eyes wide open as the image of the fairy burned in her mind. “I wanted to see where she’d lead me!”

“Who?” Vanessa sat down on the edge of the bed.

“The fairy from my dream,” Bloom covered her eyes with her free hand to narrow her focus to the woman. “I’ve seen her before, I just...” she threw the pillow next to her on the mattress. “I can’t remember where.”

“Well, I’m not surprised. You’ve read every book on fairies that you could get your hands on. It’s only natural that they’ve started blurring together,” Vanessa chuckled.

“Yeah, but it’s not that.” Bloom shot up once again, her vision spinning for a moment from the sudden action. “She’s not a character. She’s something... someone else.” She twisted a strand of hair around her finger looking for the warmth enveloping her at the presence of the mystery fairy. It couldn’t be the first time she’d dreamed about her but she couldn’t recall more than that. “Grandma always said that dreams are important.” Another reason not to let go of the fleeting imagery in her head.

“I’m pretty sure she meant the other kind of dreams,” Vanessa’s amusement was more of a ghost itself now that Bloom had mentioned the newest loss in their family. It was her who had to stay open and talk to Bloom about Mike’s mother when he froze every time the topic was brought up until Bloom could no longer bear to cause him that. “Did you finish your art project last night? I sure hope it was inspiration that kept you up so late and not the lack of it.”

Bloom beamed despite the deflection. “I did!” She jumped out of bed as her mom made space for her to launch herself at her desk where her masterpiece was covered by stray sheets to keep her parents from peeking without her there to see the reactions. Finals had really inserted themselves in all areas of her life–including dreams–to throw a wrench in her works. Finishing a drawing she’d been sitting on for over a month had let her breathe fresh air again. “Here it is.” She pulled two sheets from the pile. “This is the sketch I did during spring break.” She’d spent a whole day wandering Gardenia looking for the building to put her vision into. “And here is the one I’ve reimagined.”

Vanessa gasped, hands flying to her mouth as her eyes gleamed with unformed tears. Not unlike her response to Bloom’s first steps in art back when she’d been three but, somehow, her reactions had developed to match Bloom’s growing skillset without giving undue credit.

Bloom’s heart swelled in her chest with pride boosted by the trust she had in her mom. Her work was almost complete now that it’d accomplished the desired effect with one parent. She’d been in awe herself by the alterations she’d made to Earth architecture to make it elaborate and alien enough for a fantasy... something. She still couldn’t decide what format she wanted to create her world in. Comics were a handy option but a vision of an elusive deal for a TV show still reared its head every time she reached for a pencil and a blank sheet of paper. And there was, of course, the popularity of video games accompanied by her lack of skills or contacts when it came to coding. There was always one more step to the door of her fairy utopia but she had to focus on the art for now.

“I hope that keeping this up will be easier after school is done stifling my inspiration,” Bloom chewed on her lip as she waited for her mom to collect herself enough to give the verdict of whether a summer job was about to take over that function now.

“Uninspired? You?” Vanessa shook her head in disbelief. “Honey, you have the imagination to create worlds and I am sure that one day you will,” Vanessa reached out cautiously towards the museum Bloom had created for her fantasy world. Her fingers barely brushed the paper to leave no traces of their presence and the bittersweet look on her face was too much for Bloom to stand. Her art was not meant to be an untouchable monument. It was supposed to be a temple, a home. Maybe her yearning had come through too well.

#winx club #wc rewrite #winx bloom #winx vanessa #my wips #my writing #my fanfiction

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destieltropecollection · 4 years

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Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 4: Canon Compliant

The End and the Beginning | @deansrightfulangerissue

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1019 Main Tags/Warnings: Loss, Canon Universe, Angst, Rebirth Summary: There is only one way for Cas to escape The Empty's reach.

Where Happiness Exists | @spnsmile

Rating: General Word Count: 1398 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Hurt and Comfort, Summary: Castiel listens to Eileen and Sam's goodbye and asks Dean questions... Why is she going? Why is Sam not stopping her? Dean makes a guess or two. and Cas learns not everyone stays. At least, not for Dean.

Don’t Worry, Bee Happy | @wargurl83

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2264 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Bees, Destiel if you squint, Dean's language is the reason for the T rating, I've been informed that it's Destiel even if you don't squint Summary: Dean doesn't get time off. So when he does, he tends to take every advantage of it that he can. Except there are dicks with wings that just won't leave him alone.

A Drive Under the Moonlight | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: General Word Count: 2530 Main Tags/Warnings: beteen 5x01 and 5x03 Summary: Dean has had a lot of fights with Sam—growing up so close together can do that—but sometimes he just can’t stand being near his brother, so he just takes Baby for a drive until his head gets clear.

Why Did You Do It? | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2751 Main Tags/Warnings: ex-demon!Dean; mild hurt/comfort Summary: Dean doesn't know how to feel after being cured. If he's being really honest, he would say that he misses being a demon.

Creation Day | @noiproksa

Rating: General Word Count: 2800 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Family Feels, Canon Compliant, Angel Culture and Customs Summary: Angels are such a weird species, but Dean is prepared to look past all that if it means making Cas feel comfortable. So when Sam finds a book entitled ‘Angel Customs and Rituals,’ Dean’s curiosity is piqued.

No Vacancy | @pray4jensen

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2803 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Hurt Castiel, Sharing a Bed, Angst, Fallen Castiel, Bittersweet Ending, Coda to 9.06, Top Dean/Bottom Castiel Summary: After the Rit Zien attacks Cas at Nora's house, Dean takes him to his motel room to treat his injuries. He ends up staying the night.

Truth Or Dare | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2944 Main Tags/Warnings: canon-compliant, pwp, top!cas, bottom!dean, adult truth or dare Summary: Truth or Dare seemed like a good way to pass the time until they had to go after Lucifer. After everyone else fell asleep, the game turns naughty between Dean and Castiel.

The End for the Last Time | @deansrightfulangerissue

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3024 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary Majoy Character Death, Pre-fic Minor Character Death, Canon Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Divine!Dean Summary: In the end, Dean kills God. But his action brings unfathomable consequence that forces him to make a sacrifice he could never expect.

Ramble On | @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

Rating: General Word Count: 3059 Main Tags/Warnings: John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Dean Winchester-centric, Mentions of childhood, Sam Winchester ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel and Selfies, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester Summary: When Dean got his first phone under his real name, he was seventeen. It wasn't even his birthday or anything. There was a vamp nest, a couple cities over. And that time, Sam had won the argument with Dad, and the brothers were to stay behind - and go to school, Sam had primarily argued - while John went off to take care of the hunt. But it was close to holiday season, so no motels had vacancies for more nights than one, and they were looking to stay indefinitely - so John's only option had been to rent a flat. It was a one bedroom place, the kind which would've been cramped if they'd had any furniture at all. The building had an air of misery, but it was probably just the cold. Even the landlord didn't live there anymore. But now, Sam was thirteen and tall, and Dean worked weekends - so they were old enough in John's book, to be left back; with money that wasn't theirs, and that one cellphone with a month's bill paid. Dean's first cellphone.

The Most Important Soul | @cloverhighfive

Rating: General Word Count: 3179 Main Tags/Warnings: canon violence, angst, angsty fluff Summary: Castiel saving Dean from Hell. Castiel has to fight demons but mostly Dean’s own brokenness to try and save him.

Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: General Word Count: 3490 Main Tags/Warnings: hurt/comfort Summary: It's been a few weeks ever since Chuck decided to end the world. They've been working non-stop since then, but Castiel thinks they deserve a break, at least one day.

The Chamber of Truths | @noiproksa

Rating: General Word Count: 3627 Main Tags/Warnings: Truth Spells, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Friendship, Team Free Will, Fluff, Banter Summary: On a case, Dean and Cas get stuck in a cursed room and the only chance they have at getting out in time is to play along and tell each other ‘meaningful truths.’ (Intended as gen, but can be read as Destiel pre-slash.)

now speak of ruin | @curioussubjects

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4150 Main Tags/Warnings: Coda, Episode Tag, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Episode: s15e04 Atomic Monsters, Episode: s15e05 Proverbs 17:3, Episode: s15e06 Golden Time, Episode: s15e07 Last Call, Episode: s15e08 Our Father Who Aren't In Heaven, Angst, Mutual Pining, Canon Compliant, POV Alternating, Character Study Summary: A story about what happens when you don't feel better in the morning.

Whatever It Takes | @cr-noble-writes

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5056 Main Tags/Warnings: major character injury, angst without a happy ending, canon divergent human!Cas Summary: Cas gets hit by a car and ends up in a coma. Dean will do anything to make sure he can tell his boyfriend he loves him at least once. Even if it costs him everything.

Babysitter | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: General Word Count: 5242 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, De-Aged Dean, De-Aged Castiel, Witch Curse, Sam POV Summary: In which the elder Winchester and his angel are turned into three-year-olds, Sam is forced to play the babysitter, Castiel keeps weirding people out with his fancy vocabulary and Dean has got the biggest kid-crush ever.

Angel Cuddles | @noiproksa

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5511 Main Tags/Warnings: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Witch Curses, Canon Compliant, Self-Made Family, Hurt/Comfort, Team Free Will, Touch-Starved Castiel, Gen or Pre-Slash Summary: Angels need a lot of physical contact, especially when in a human vessel. Dean is determined to give Cas the ‘physical contact’ he requires. Cas is more than suspicious when suddenly, Dean starts touching him more and more.

Hands of Mercy | @amyoatmeal

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7058 Main Tags/Warnings: human cas, 9x06 coda, hurt/comfort, bed sharing Summary: ""Nobody told you. Nobody explained. You're just shoved out kicking and screaming into this human life, without any idea why any of it feels the way it feels, or why this confusion, which feels like it's … a hair's breadth from terror or pain. You know, just when you think you do understand, it'll turn out you're wrong. You didn't understand anything at all."" After taking out the Rit Zien, Cas finds he has no where to go and asks Dean if he can spend the night with him in his motel room.

Laid Bare | kradarua (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7172 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Case, djinn, Hallucinations, First Time, First Kiss, Pining Castiel, Rimming, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Dean Winchester Has a Panty Kink Summary: Hunts never go exactly according to plan. Victim is unhelpfully tight-lipped about their experience? Typical. Someone gets thrown into a wall? Par for the course. Djinn captures and poisons one of them? To be expected. Except that Sam killed the Djinn hours ago. And Dean still hasn't woken up. - After a Djinn hunt gone wrong, Castiel takes a stroll through Dean's mind to dispel any remaining poison. The hallucination Dean is trapped in is...unexpected. But not unwelcome.

From The Outside | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: General Word Count: 10338 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Canon Compliant, Outsider POV Summary: Six people. Six different points of view. And only one conclusion.

Hunger | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10775 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary character death, suicidal ideation, eating disorders, grief/mourning, hopeful ending Summary: Dean takes his meal and throws it away, plate and all. He's not hungry. How can he even begin to eat, knowing what he kept from Cas — what he kept from both of them? They could have had something, and now all Dean has is this gaping, empty hole in his stomach, in his chest, and he has to learn to breathe and eat and move around it.

He Said, He Said | zaphodsgirl (AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 11824 Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, First Kiss, Monster of the Week Summary: Sam gets a lead on a case somewhere he's sure Dean is going to love, but as they investigate some other things are uncovered instead.

A Hole in the World | FriendofCarlotta (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 14600 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon-Compliant, POV Dean Winchester, Cas' Deal with The Empty, Alternate Season 15 Summary: Dean wakes up one morning, and everything just feels off. Like something's been taken from him. When the situation becomes unsustainable and Dean needs answers, he heads to Sioux Falls. Soon, Team Free Will 2.0 and the Wayward Sisters find themselves in the middle of their last, greatest fight: the fight to tell their own story.

Tacoma | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 20055 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, season 15, emotional hurt/comfort Summary: After an explosive fight, Castiel leaves the bunker and Dean decides to let him go. As Cas ventures halfway across the country on a journey to find himself, Dean reevaluates what he needs from life. And what he needs is Cas.

Sounds of Someday (WIP) | @wingsandimpalas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 31009 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergence, Season 15 - Canon Divergence, post 15x03, Wish-list fic, coda fic Cabin Fic, hurt then comfort, Grief, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Snowed In, Dean has abandonment issues. Touch-Starved Dean Post Break-up, Making Up, Getting Together, retirement fic, human cas, Domestic Fluff Summary: ""His relationship with Cas is complicated. Dean doesn't know if he can fix what’s broken between them. But he sure as hell can fix the roof of the cabin so it doesn't cave when the first snowfalls.” ------------------------------------------- Dean’s world has crumbled around him. Learning God's responsible for every awful thing in his life is hitting him hard and worst of all he pushed the person he loves most away. Determined to fix them, Dean tracks Cas down to Rufus's old cabin hoping to repair it and their relationship along the way.

What I Need Most | @a-mandala-rose

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 32297 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean/Cas, Canon Compliant through 11X23, Fake Marriage, Slow Burn, Minor Canonical Character Death, Switching Summary: “I don’t see what makes them, ‘chick flicks’ Dean. Approximately half the cast are males.” “They’re romances Cas. Highly exaggerated and unrealistic love stories. Here,” he says, scrolling through the channel guide and making a new selection, “Star Wars. There’s a movie worth watching.” “You’ve made me watch the entire series before,” Cas points out with a frown. Dean grins. “No such thing as too much Leia, Cas,” he says with a wink. “You do realize that the story of Leia and Han Solo could quite accurately be described as a ‘highly exaggerated and unrealistic love story,’ right?” “But it’s a manly love story, Cas,” Dean defends with a glare, “and there’s nothing highly exaggerated about Han Solo. He’s a badass!” “Wouldn’t a ‘manly’ love story involve a relationship between two men?” Cas asks, seemingly innocent. “I did see a movie like that once, although I’m not certain..” “Dinner!” Dean, splutters, choking on his beer. “How about we make some dinner?” What if Mary wasn't what Dean ""needed most?"" After helping God reconcile with his sister, Dean finds himself in a world with no monsters, no magic, and no way home. At least his best friend is here with him..

The Infinity of the Stars (WIP) | @legendary-destiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 49164 Main Tags/Warnings: archangel Cas, true form Cas, wings, feathers, deal with the empty, finding a weapon to kill the empty, bad place, apocalypse world, extracting grace, mutual pining, profound bond, canon-typical violence, stargazing, post-possession nightmares, love confessions, oral sex, anal sex, bottom!Dean/top!Cas, Summary: Castiel wakes up in a familiar place and meets someone he has not seen in years. Explanations are made, and Castiel is confronted with an overwhelming truth. So the Winchesters and their allies head out to an epic adventure - Can they save the universe by finding a way to kill the most powerful cosmic entity? On his way to saving the world, Castiel has to face his fears and restrain his real desires - which gets harder and harder, because a special soul reaches out to his grace - like a flame rearing up to burn dry grass.

Righteous Side Of Hell | Maleyah (AO3)

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 71142 Main Tags/Warnings: Bounty Hunter!Cas, Actual Demon!Dean, Wing Kink, Modern AU, Canon Compliant, Canon Predictions pre-Season 15, Top!Cas, Bottom!Dean, Red String Of Fate, Memory Alteration, Abuse, Happy End, Switching in the end, Fluff and Angst and Smut, Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Slow Build Summary: Bounty hunters are notorious for getting by on their wits and training. Those who don’t usually land six feet under. Castiel’s been around the block. A former member of The Seekers, he navigates the underbelly of the world alone, his reputation preceding him, his past slithering up in the darkest hours of the night. Sometimes he allows himself to dream of early dawn breakfasts, crackling fires and open windows. One night, high on adrenaline, he boasts there’s a demon watching over him. Guardianship is a divine job. Divine beings are wired for it. Sometimes, however, a peculiar mix of elements draws a less than angelic creature into the mix. These unusual combinations tend to be volatile in nature and the human involved usually doesn’t live long. When he gets bombarded into being a guardian, Dean plans on getting rid of ‘his human’ in a heartbeat. Until he recognises the mess of dark hair and those blue eyes. The last time he saw them, their owner had been sprawled against his bed sheets. Well, fuck me, was the most eloquent thought he could muster in his head. And then they dumped a phonebook worth of rules in his lap. Dean had always despised rules.

it’s an inherently romantic gesture (you keep those) (WIP) | @contemplativepancakes

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 126766 Main Tags/Warnings: fix it fic, canon violence, switch!Dean and Cas, angst with a happy ending Summary: They find him by a river, with dirt streaked down his face. Later that night, Dean sits beside Cas in the cave they had managed to clear out. Dean thinks back to all the lingering touches and looks they’ve exchanged and his frenzied search of purgatory for Cas. He can feel the resolve that’s failed him for years forming. Fuck it, Dean thinks and leans forward to cross the scant distance between them. He’s so close, he can feel Cas’s breath puffing onto his mouth before he leans forward and brushes his lips against Cas. Cas is frozen, so Dean pulls back. “Cas, I just, I can’t lose you again, man. I don’t know if I’d survive that,” he says. Cas looks up at Dean with startled eyes. What would happen if Dean and Cas managed to pull their heads out of their asses while they were in purgatory? This is their canon compliant romance behind closed doors from season 8 to beyond.

Season Z | @cr-noble-writes, malmuses, castielslostwings, cutelittlekittykorner, fangirlingtodeath513, donteverchange-mydude, son-of-a-bitch-spn-family, ellen-of-oz, gii-heylittleangel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 220673 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Canon Divergent from 14x20, Zombie Apocalypse, Miscommunication, Minor Rowena MacLeod/Sam Winchester, Alternate Angel Lore (Supernatural), Fix-It, Chuck is not a good guy, Co-Written, Canon-Typical Violence, Potential Muggle Deaths, Amputation, NSFW, Smut, Slow Burn, Graphic depictions of demons and zombie torture, Gore, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Temporary Character Death Summary: When Chuck clicked his fingers, the world went to hell. Now it's up to Team Free Will and some unexpected allies to put it back together again. But first, they have to get past the graveyard full of zombies...

#destiel trope collection 2020 #destiel trope collection #destiel #canon compliant #day 4

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filmfanatic82 · 5 years

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AO3 Link (HERE)

Chapter 3

“I would have walked through fire to kiss your lips

Do you still think about it, of what you did?

Still see your old apartment, like a bad trip

Wish I could forget all the places we've been

Hard and heavy whiskey goodbyes

Boy, you know how to make a girl cry

Was sleeping in a bed full of lies

And now that I'm older, I can see why”

-- Hope by The Chainsmokers

__________

Penelope can’t stop staring.

She has tried her best to for the better part of the last thirty minutes now, but every time she re-focuses her gaze onto something else-- anything else-- her eyes can’t help but wander back towards that yellow sweater. The pristine woolen yellow sweater that lacks the last six years of rips and stains that it’s clone has come to bear.

The sweater that still belongs to Josie Saltzman.

And, of course, the alcohol isn’t helping either.

Even though Penelope had performed a sobering spell before leaving Hope’s dorm room and heading off to her classes, she can still feel its lingering effects on her overall inhibitions and self-control…

Or, better yet, lack thereof.

She knows she shouldn’t stare. It’s a rookie mistake, not to mention, also dead give away that something isn’t quite right with her.

But, then again, how can she not?

It’s all so surreal. The classroom. The students. Even Dr. Bridges standing in the front of the blackboard, droning on about the history of secret covens within colonial America. Penelope’s been here before and yet… she hasn’t.

At least not in this version of reality.

By now Penelope should be en route to Belgium, under the guise of attending some hard to pronounce, witches only boarding school and not sitting here, in class. She should be in the process of tracking down Caroline and further pouring herself into any and all ancient texts that contain any reference whatsoever of the merge.

But she’s not.

Because this time around, leaving isn’t an option. Not without Josie safely by her side.

Penelope lets out a small sigh as she runs her hands through her hair and tucks a few loose strands behind her ears. She pulls her eyes away once again from the yellow sweater and glances over at the relic of a clock hanging above the classroom doorway.

Only fifteen more minutes to go.

Fifteen more minutes before she can get another brief respite from the day-to-day mundanity that is school.

God, how Penelope hasn’t missed this part. The pure and utter boredom of sitting around, hour after hour, day after day, pretending to listen to trivial pieces of useless knowledge that bear little to no importance in the world outside of the Salvatore School.

Who the hell cares about knowing all of the names of the witches who founded the Oakwood Coven? Or which species of newts can be found in the eastern woods of Romania?

No one. That’s the real, harsh truth. Not one single, fucking, soul.

Nothing that Penelope learned during her first go-around at Salvatore had prepared her for what Hope and she were forced to encounter. Especially given that Alaric and the rest of the teachers operated under the asinine belief that teenagers had no need to learn defensive magic.

Thank god for Caroline. If it hadn’t been for her and her brutal, seven days a week, training regime, Penelope wouldn’t have even lasted the first six months within the real world. Or, better yet, had the foresight to use the morsus curse when fighting for her life against…

Penelope’s eyes wander back yet again towards Josie as her hand drifts up to trace her now non-existing scar.

“Alright, folks. Enough on the lunar cycle for today. Let’s wrap things up a little bit early, shall we?” Dr. Bridges announces from the front of the classroom. “Remember, we will be discussing chapter 4 tomorrow of the Liechtenstein text, so please make sure you’ve read it.”

The sudden sounds of textbooks shutting and chairs scraping against the wooden floor snaps Penelope out of her thoughts and back into the reality of the moment. She lets out another sigh, this time accompanied by a crack of her neck.

“Can you get any more stalkerish, Satan?” Lizzie says, drawing the attention of those few students who have yet to leave the room as she does.

“Fuck me,” Penelope mutters under her breath and shuts her eyes, taking the briefest of moments to collect herself.

Liz.

No. She doesn’t go by Liz. Not yet at least. The shorter, more mature version comes later. After their first, real-world encounter with one another.

It had been around the time of Hope’s 20th birthday. They had been camped out in a small town near Vienna for well over four months tracking a dead-end lead when the blonde-haired girl had shown up. At first, Penelope thought her eyes were playing tricks on her. That it was just an odd coincidence and nothing more. Austria was chock-full of icy blondes with piercing blue eyes.

But then the girl approached Penelope in the darkened back corner of the local pub and simply uttered the phrase “Hello, Satan” and all lingering doubts instantly dissipated.

It was indeed Lizzie Saltzman. Or, as she had re-introduced herself as “Liz” because Lizzie was someone who frankly didn’t exist anymore. Not after all that, she had borne witness to in the events of the past few years.

Liz had sweet-talked her way into snagging the two of them a bottle of Bulliet from the bartender, which Penelope could only fathom the price tag given the scarce rarity of non-local spirits, and the two proceeded to drink as they talked for what seemed like a lifetime. It was the first-- and sadly only-- honest conversation that Penelope had ever had with the girl that once had wished she had never existed.

As they drank, Liz had filled Penelope in on what had transpired post the Triad invasion and the irreversible side effects that the tainted bullet had had on Josie. She somehow managed to recounter the horrific events one by one, devoid of any signs of real emotion whatsoever, except for the noticeable unsteadiness of her hand every time she brought her glass up to her lips and took another sip. And Penelope sat there and did nothing more but listened. There had been a part of her that was dying to unleash her mountain of unanswered questions beyond the blonde, but somehow she sensed deep down inside that this wasn’t the time.

That Liz just needed to talk.

It wasn’t until they were 3/4th of the way through the bottle, did Liz work up the nerve to ask about Hope. The question came so buried within their conversation that at first, Penelope thought it was a mistake. Merely her tipsy subconscious playing tricks on her. But Liz asked again. This time as clear as day.

And Penelope couldn’t help but revel in the way that Liz’s face lit up as their conversation turned towards Hope. Liz seemingly wanted to know every last detail about the tribrid and yet, all the while still tried to keep some of her emotional cards close to her vest. But it didn’t matter. Penelope could read right through her anyway. There was a deeper reason for Liz’s sudden curiosity. One that Penelope, unfortunately, knew all a little too well. It was the same exact curiosity that had plagued her ever since the moment she left the Salvatore School. The one fueled by late-night thoughts and the endless “what if” scenarios that left unchecked could drive a person insane.

So, Penelope took a risk. A calculated risk, but a risk nonetheless. With a long sip of whiskey, she looked Liz dead in the eyes and revealed to her that Hope was madly in love with her.

Without missing a beat, Liz smiled back and responded that the feeling was more than mutual… in fact, it had been for most of her life.

The conversation abruptly ended soon after those words with Liz being suddenly pulled away by a phone call and then rushed goodbye. There had been a promise made that she would be in touch shortly for yet another round of drinks and late-night confessions, but unfortunately, it never happened.

The news of Liz’s death came just a few weeks later. It had been on the tip of Penelope’s tongue a million and one times to let Hope know about the rogue encounter, but she could never find the right moment to do so.

“Uh… Eww. No thanks.”

Penelope opens her eyes, allowing herself to take in the view of Lizzie Saltzman standing before her. A set of icy blue daggers stare right back along with the all too familiar arms folded across the chest stance that all but screams ‘I’m openly judging you’.

It’s classic Lizzie. And God is it a bittersweet sight for sore eyes.

The slightest hint of all-knowing smirk slide across Penelope’s lips. “Hello, Saltzman.”

“I’ve told you a thousand times already. Leave my sister alone. Got it?”

But Penelope doesn’t respond. Instead, she stands up from her desk and goes about packing up her belongings, never once letting the smirk drop from her face. It’s a deliberate move and one that Penelope more than knows will elicit the type of reaction that she needs in order to move the game along.

“Did you hear me?” Lizzie huffs out, slightly more impatient than before.

Penelope still doesn’t bite. She maintains her composure as she pushes her desk chair in and then turns to fully face Lizzie head-on, locking her eyes in on the blonde. A momentary silence falls between the two of them as Penelope continues to smirk and watch as Lizzie fights against the ever-growing discomfort.

“What?” Lizzie growls. She pulls her eyes away, pretending to glance at the ambient chatter coming from the nearby hallway, not able to withstand another second more of Penelope’s unsettling gaze.

“Quick question for you… Why’d you let Roman escort Hope last night?”

Lizzie blinks and shakes her head in slight confusion. “Huh?”

“At the pageant. You had the choice to escort Hope yourself after Landon was a no show. And yet you decided to let Roman step in instead? Why? You practically bent over backward just to ensure that Hope won. Why not be the one by her side?”

“I… I didn’t… How did you…” Lizzie grasps at words, trying her best not to appear too thrown off guard.

“If I were you, I would’ve gone for it,” Penelope replies with a shrug. “Nothing wins a girl over more than being there when she needs you most.”

Penelope throws in a playful wink for added measure as Lizzie continues to search for something-- anything-- to say in response. But all she can do is stand there, staring back at Penelope in complete and utter shock.

“See you around, Saltzman.”

And with that, Penelope up and walks out of the classroom as her smirk grows even wider than before.

__________

“Penelope! Wait!”

Penelope stops dead in her tracks as the sound of Josie’s voice echoes out from behind her. She’s been wandering the downstairs hallways now for the better part of the last hour, allowing herself to just get lost within the steady stream of Salvatore students. Sure, it’s not the most productive use of time, but it doesn’t matter. After the unexpected face-to-face with Lizzie, Penelope more than needs the space to sort through the ever-growing tidal wave of conflicting feelings brewing deep within the far depths of her mind.

Penelope slowly turns around and instantly spots Josie battling her way against the dense sea of uniform-clad teens. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Josie responds a bit out of breath as she breaks through the last wave of students and joins Penelope. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“You have?”

“Of course I have. I’ve been trying to find you ever since the end of Medieval History… How on earth did you know that?”

“Know what?” Penelope responds slightly confused.

Josie gives a quick scan of the passing crowd for any signs of big ears and then grabs Penelope by the arm and pulls her into a nearby nook. “That Lizzie secretly likes Hope.”

Penelope can’t help but let a harsh chuckle slip out. Of course, Josie had overheard the exchange. She’s always has a tab on Lizzie whenever they’re together. Just like a mom of an overly mischievous toddler. One eye on them at all times, holding their breath and waiting for the next tantrum.

And it’s this-- Josie’s Achilles heel== that will lead to her ultimate downfall.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. It’s just…” Penelope trails off, stopping herself before she inadvertently opens Pandora’s Box. “I guessed. That’s all.”

“You’re lying.”

“No, I…”

“Enough with the bullshit, Penelope. You and I both know you’re good, but you’re not that good,” Josie fires back with an underlying bite to her voice. “Tell me the truth. How’d you know?”

Penelope runs her hands through her hair and exhales a breath of air that she didn’t even realize she was holding onto.

The truth.

Two words that are so simple yet so powerful. For Penelope, telling the truth has never been the easiest route when it comes to Josie. No. How could it be? Speaking the truth meaning running the risk of inflicting long-lasting pain. The kind of pain that leaves invisible scars along the soul.

“Okay. You’re right. It’s wasn’t just a guess,” Penelope responds. “It was also Hope.”

“Hope?” Josie quirks an eyebrow at the mention of the tribrid’s name. “What about Hope?”

“She’s the one who told me about Lizzie. Apparently whatever went down between the two of them during the Miss Mystic Falls pageant opened her eyes to things that up until this point she’s been blind to… Or something like that.”

“And she told you this?”

“Don’t look so surprised, Jojo,” Penelope says channeling her old 16-year=old self for a brief moment. “I make quite the good confidant. You of all people should know that… I still haven’t told a soul about how you’ve got a secret kink for handcu--”

But before Penelope can finish her sentence, Josie clamps her hand down over Penelope’s mouth as her cheeks ignite with a noticeable reddish hue. “Enough… I get it… So Hope feels the same way?”

“Without a doubt.”

“Interesting…” Josie replies. “I always had a hunch that there was something there between the two of them… Too bad Lizzie will never act on it.”

“How are you so sure?”

Josie shrugs. “It’s Lizzie. No one knows her better than I do.”

“Then I guess I’m just going to have to push Furball to make the first move.”

Now it’s Josie’s turn to chuckle but unlike Penelope’s, it’s filled with nothing but an abundance of warmth. And Penelope can’t help but smile at the way that Josie’s nose crinkles up as she does.

God, how she has missed this.

“Okay. Now it’s my turn… What’s so funny?” Penelope asks.

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yes,” Josie matches Penelope’s smile. “I can’t put my finger on it, but… I don’t know… You just seem different somehow.”

“Different in a good way?”

Josie bites down on her lip as she gives a small nod. “Yeah. I think so.”

“Well maybe I’m trying to turn over a new leaf,” Penelope responds nonchalantly.

Josie reaches forward and ever-so-gently tucks a loose curl of Penelope’s raven hair behind her ear and then lets her fingertips linger for a few moments upon Penelope’s cheek. Penelope feels her breath slightly catch as she fights the urge to fully lean into it. “Promise me something?”

“Anything,” Penelope eagerly replies.

“No more lies, okay?”

And instantaneously, Penelope’s whole body stiffness. No. Not that… Anything but that one request. It’s the one promise she can’t uphold.

Penelope swallows down the dry lump of emotions bubbling up within her throat and then ever so subtly moves her hand behind her back and crosses her fingers. “Okay.”

“Good.” Josie smiles in return. Penelope starts to open her mouth to say something-- anything-- more, but before she can manage to utter a single word, the bell rings.

“Shit. I’m going to be late to History of Ruins,” Josie says as a look of panic sweeps across her face. “Let's talk later… Maybe during study hall?”

“Sure.” And once again, Penelope finds herself utterly frozen, unable to do anything more than watch as Josie disappears from sight.

God, is this going to be harder than she ever imagined.

#posie #penelope park #josie x penelope #josie saltzman #lizzie saltzman #legacies #wlw #ao3 #fanfic

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mommyinspires-blog · 7 years

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I was nominated to contribute to the #RockingMotherhood series by Chelle Del Rosario – the blogger behind Coffeeheartmind! She was one of my first blogger friends, since I’ve started this new endeavor! You should definitely check out her blog. I dig all she has going on from Motivational Mondays to Feature Fridays (where I was a guest blogger). Thanks again for that awesome experience, Chelle.

While excited to be nominated, I began wondering how much can I add to this Rocking Motherhood Challenge. My daughter is barely 20 months old and she is my only child. What could I possibly add to this conversation, I thought? Then with some reflection I realized that I can share my experiences even if she isn’t two years old yet. I’ve learned so much over the past 20 months and know I will gain more knowledge as the years pass because motherhood is an ongoing learning process. There is no handbook. We talk to other mothers, read, implement and evaluate to see what works. My background as an educator helps for sure, but there is nothing like having my own child. I can’t send her home at the end of the day! Even so, I proudly rock being Aria’s mommy.

Here are the 10 ways that I Proudly Rock Motherhood Despite a Chronic Illness: #RockingMotherhood

1. Unconditional Love: I remember a seasoned mother said to me when she was about six months old, “You never knew you could love someone so much, huh?” I couldn’t agree more. Aria Malia, the love of my life and miracle child, has definitely made me a better person. I am much more patient because I have to be. She is constantly moving and teaching me about life. She adds so much life to the house. Having her changed me in so many ways, physically and emotionally. I never knew I could love someone so much. My joy and heart has taught me about unconditional love.

2. Creating Happiness: Aria is a happy baby who is always smiling, laughing and singing, which signifies she is content. I must be doing something right. Aria is surrounded by so much love from my family to her babysitter. She is truly a blessing.

3. Education is key: Learning is constant in our household. When she was two months old, I began reading to her. When I ask her to read me a book now, she opens it and starts to identify the objects in the book. She knows what the letter A looks like and sings her entire alphabet. Our next step is to put meaning behind the letters and to identify sounds.

4. Health and wellness: Aria is a healthy and thriving girl for that I am so grateful. Having an autoimmune illness and a genetic disorder, I was afraid my daughter would inherit some of these traits, but she didn’t. I had her tested at Yale New Haven Children’s Hospital when she was two months old. I made it a point to tell her pediatrician about my conditions, Graves’ Disease which is a thyroid disorder that proved difficult to treat because to make matters worse, I have a genetic mutation that prevented my medication from working properly. Being compound heterozygous, due to the MTHFR genetic mutation, wreaked havoc on my body. This mutation caused methylation issues that prevented my body from digesting food and functioning properly. I am currently a pill poppin’ animal: I take thyroid medication and supplements all day long just to function. It is not easy. I never leave home without my pill box. Even though I am chronically ill, which most people don’t recognize because I look “okay” on the outside, I still find time to play with her and do activities on the weekend. One activity will exhaust me for the day, but it’s well worth it to see my baby girl smile.

5. Source of my inspiration, my muse: While pregnant with Aria, I thought of the many ways she will impact this world and wrote Oh What Will You Do? It is an empowering book that describes in rhyming prose and with lovely illustration the countless career options available to young girls. It is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

6. Self-help: Having a baby is a very joyous experience and frightening at the same time. Some mothers report being afraid to be left alone with their new baby, me being one of them. My sentiments were more worrisome. It’s only normal, but a colicky baby who cried and cried is a whole different story I soon learned. After visiting the doctors to no avail, I started reading different articles and found a natural recipe that worked wonders. Homemade Gripe Water. I boiled water for several minutes, steeped two bags of ginger tea and one bag of either Chamomile or Peppermint tea in 4 cups of water along with one tablespoon of fennel seeds and one teaspoon of all natural, organic cane sugar. I let this sit for approximately 30-45 minutes covered. I strained the mix to remove the fennel seeds. Before each feeding, I would give her about 5ml. If she wasn’t given the gripe water first, she would refuse a feeding and if you didn’t know any better you wouldn’t know why she was crying. I quickly realized it was working and started getting more smiles from my pumpkin. I started doing this when she was about 3 months and the crying ceased.

7. Inspiring others: I know the mind is powerful and convey this to the students whom I teach: If you believe it, you can do it. The mind can be limiting and fulfilling: you choose. Every day I am in some type of pain, whether it be my head, my back as I suffer from two herniated discs L4, L5, my feet from the two foot surgeries I had, but I have to survive. The thing is I will do more than survive. I will to thrive. On March 25th, I along with two others will be hosting the area’s first Mind, Body, Soul Connection and the power of spoken word will be one of the topics. Aria is being taught the power of words and self-esteem.

8. Showing her the world: Coming from very humble beginnings, I wasn’t able to travel until I could afford it. Each year in my Advance Placement class, the students would converse about upcoming trips. These students were from a different social class and had the luxury of taking real vacations. I will never forget one day before spring break in eleventh grade, students were talking about their upcoming trips. One student said he was going to Hawaii with his parents, the others mentioned going to Madrid with the school. When the question found me, I would simply state that I had to work. It was true, but inside I burned. I wanted to go to Spain and Hawaii. I never wanted to feel like that way again, so I made a vow to myself at 16 years old that when I got some real money, I would go wherever I wanted to go, whenever: PERIOD. With gainful employment and an awesome travel club, I’ve been to Mexico, Barcelona, Madrid, China, England, Holland, Czech Republic, Austria, Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Belize (Our first official family trip in 2010, my father’s homeland), Barbados, Chile, Argentina, Colombia and numerous big cities in the East, Midwest, South, and West coasts. So far, Aria has been to South Florida, Jamaica, Mexico, and Maui (Hawaii).

Aria in South Florida at 5 months!

Jamaica, 8 months

Maui, 17 months

This list is not exhaustive; there’s so much more of the world I want to see and show my daughter. I would like her to see the world beyond her inner circle. I don’t want her to be that student in the classroom, when they go around the room discussing upcoming trips, say she has no travel plans. I want her to return to school and provide first-hand knowledge about the Forbidden City in China. And tell them about the pyramids that she visited in Egypt when the lesson calls. She will be well- versed in the world around her beyond the books she has to read.

9. Participating in Activities: We started swim lessons last Saturday and completed lessons and baby gymnastics last summer. Class begins promptly at 9:35 am and afterwards I am exhausted. One activity for the day wears me out and people who know me know that I do not enjoy being in the water. Ironic because I desire to live near the water in a warm climate, preferably South Florida. I find it calming and relish the idea of the water, e.g. jet ski, yacht, boat just not sailing (gives me a queasy feeling). Very particular, I know. I can’t stand that wrinkly feeling after being in the water for so long. Still, I’ve made it my mission to expose my daughter to the water while she is young and capitalize off of her fearlessness. She loves the water and she will LEARN to swim.

10. Diversifying my portfolio: Living day to day with low energy, I have learned to let things go, ignore the dust bunnies, find humor in her toddler behavior, or buy dinner when I just don’t have energy beyond taking care of her and me. Therefore, it is imperative to diversify my portfolio and increase my financial education so that I can leave a legacy for my daughter and take care of us now. I’m currently teaching despite my doctor’s request, but insurance is a necessity when you have chronic conditions. In addition to teaching, I am also an entrepreneur with an amazing travel club, author, professional speaking and editor who founded BitterSweet: Real Talk. In the coming months, I will be unleashing my new plan to raise awareness for chronic illness sufferers also identified as invisible disabilities.

I am supposed to nominate other outstanding mommy bloggers, so I nominate: Mommy @mommyisntfeelingwell, Dr. Momma @mommaaddict, & Melissa @mommychronicles (and anyone else who would like to participate).

Here are the guidelines:

1. Thank the blogger that tagged you and link to their blog. 2. List at least 10 Things you believe make you a good mother or less if you want. 3. Tag some bloggers to join in the #RockingMotherhood tag. 4. Grab the #RockingMotherhood badge and add it to your post or sidebar.

10 Ways I Rock Motherhood Despite a Chronic Illness I was nominated to contribute to the #RockingMotherhood series by Chelle Del Rosario – the blogger behind…

#blog #blogging #chronicillness #inspiration #rockingmotherhoodchallenge

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