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#then stay in my room all day

samwise1548 · 2 months

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I have this kandi crown that I put on my cousin's five year old kid's head just now.

Her: Is that rainbow?

Me: Yeah!

Her, taking the crown off: Rainbow is haram. Don't make it again.

Homophobia sure is taught young, huh.

#cw homophobia #left me a bit shocked ill be honest #she also said my room looks like a childs room which- ouch #and now shes touching all my thingsss #she called me a nerd. guys this kid is staying at my house for some days please someone save me #my thoughts

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cerise-on-top · 2 months

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Been really into gardening, so what about Nikolai and König with a gardener s/o? Would they be interested in helping out, or have a specific favorite type of plant?

(I love love LOVE rambling about plants, they're so cool once you get to know them!! I blame my mom entirely since she has a green thumb)

(Also, do you have a fav kind of flower? I personally love hydrangeas)

Plants are really cool, though! Hydrangeas are very pretty, I think I've seen some here and there! I personally adore lisianthus, though! They're absolutely gorgeous! Now I can't help but wonder if I could grow some someday when I move out, haha!

Nikolai and König with a Gardener!S/O

Nikolai: I do believe that he has a garden somewhere near his house only he knows about, where he grows vegetables. He loves having his own little garden, just that little bit of space that no one can take away from him with which he can do just about whatever is nice. He especially likes tomatoes, they’re nutritious, healthy and very delicious, as well as easy to cook. Nikolai is a pretty good cook, so he knows how to utilize tomatoes to their full potential. He has tried to grow flowers as well, though. He’s made some good success with sunflowers, in fact he still has some in his secret garden. So he absolutely knows how to take care of a garden, he finds it relaxing even and would love to help you out a bit, if you let him. Do let him plant some plants of his own, though, he loves watching them grow. Although he’s never been able to do so, he’d love to cultivate some melons at some point as well. Watermelons, cantaloupes, honey melons, he’d love to eat his own ones someday as well, especially with you. He thinks it’s so cool that you’re a gardener because, in another life where he wasn’t a soldier and or leader of a PMC, he, too, would be a gardener. Has always dreamed of having a garden with you and would love to plant some trees as well. Apple trees, cherry trees, maybe even some orange trees, as long as he gets some delicious fruit out of it, he’s down. Besides, what’s more domestic than working at your shared garden together? He’ll even plant some flowers as well. He can’t particularly surprise you well with them, but he can look at your surprised face when they first start sprouting. While he won’t pluck or cut them unless he needs to, he will cherish the moments he gets to spend with you and your shared plants. And if you’re the type of person to name your plants then I can assure you he remembers each and every single name.

König: He’s never really been into gardening. He had a small succulent as a kid once so he had something to take care of that would help him with feeling down, but it didn’t survive very long. He loved the little plant a little too much and gave it too much water every day. To this day he feels guilty about it. He named it “Luisa”. Ever since then he’s not very confident in his plant keeping abilities, thinking he has the worst green thumb imaginable. He would love to help you, don’t get me wrong, but he’s afraid of killing your plants and making you mad about it. No, he’d much rather watch you and encourage you with your endeavors. He’ll buy fertilizer, if needed, or some new seeds or saplings if you want some, but he won’t really do much with your plants, aside from moving them to the sunlight if you want him to. Although, it should be added that he could still learn how to take good care of a plant. With some guidance, and another small succulent that’s hard to kill, it’s not too late. Just show him the ropes, tell him what to do and he’ll do it. He might get nervous about having overdone it again from time to time, and will come up to you, the succulent tiny in his hands, asking you if his plant will make it. Reassure him and give him some good tips, he’ll appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. König feels very accomplished when the plant has survived over two months. As time goes on, he’ll grow more comfortable with plants and ask you if he could maybe help you water some more plants. He may still need to get a feeling for it all, but he’s very eager to help you. Again, this is all very domestic for him, so he quite likes it. Just watering some plants with you, harvesting some parsley, maybe picking some apples from the tree. He can get most fruits from the tree due to his height as well, which is great. König’s more into the practical side of gardening, so he prefers fruit and vegetables over flowers. His favorite plant would be a pumpkin, but only because he loves pumpkin seed oil.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #könig #konig #könig x reader #konig x reader #pumpkin seed oil is literally the best thing out there it goes so well with salad #I never eat my salads without some pumpkin seed oil #been eating it ever since I was a child and my mother to this day buys it whenever she can. salads are so good #therefore König also adores pumpkin seed oil because I said so #besides he's Austrian so it makes a lot of sense as well #plants are so so cool #I had two succulents once but my heart broke when I had to throw them out due to mosquitos #my entire room was filled to the brim with mosquitos it was absolutely disgusting #my two succulents were named Eden and Arya #and yes I did name one after an OC of mine and the other one after a VN character #I miss having plants it was so very cool but I fear the day I have a million bugs in my room again #I'm not at all a big fan of bugs I think they should leave me alone and stay as far away from me as possible #also I really like lisianthus because of a song. otherwise I wouldn't even know they exist haha #nine point eight by mili is very depressing but also really good. it names a lot of flowers #however don't listen to it if you don't fare well with suicide themes since that song's very heavy on those

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thedawningofthehour · 1 month

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I was in St. Paul last night to see a play and there were these cool stained glass decorated garbage cans.

My mom was geeking out over the architecture around us and I was taking pictures of trash cans.

My new favorite comment from soup.

#we saw hairspray! the tickets were a christmas gift to our mom #she loved it we had a wonderful time #poor angel was stuck in his cage all day though #he was out with us for like three hours then went back in prison #it was like 11 pm when we got back so he just hissed at me when i went in to check on him #and my sister stayed over so he had to share his room the horror

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ooppo · 4 months

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Greatest news ever btw in 2023 (started meds august of 2022) I had no depressive episodes and one baby hypomanic episode (made a 25k word fic with 11 drawn images and that was IT). Let's give it up to getting the best scenario imaginable. Here's to this next year's chemical lottery. Take ur meds fellow bipolars

#gimme gimme gimme tame hypo episodes #the only problem was that i was staying up until like 4-5 every night and getting up at 10 #but thats way better than my unmedicated hypo episodes #last one i permanently damaged my wrist from drawing for every day all day for weeks #and spent like $200 on a new “buisness idea” that went nowhere #and $400 on tattoos (i didnt have tattoos before that but luckily i like them)#this time i just stayed in my room making a dream fic and was just really happy and productive

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detentiontrack · 9 days

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Being fat has never negatively affected my health nearly as much as restricting my food and counting calories for years did. No matter what diet culture and fatphobia tells you, fueling your body and allowing your body to be at its comfortable set point weight is always a good thing.

#when I had my ED I would be in bed by 4pm because I was so exhausted from lack of food #I was constantly exhausted and with a migraine and gave up a lot of things that used to make me happy #my grades suffered I stopped hanging out with friends and I stayed in my room all day instead of spending time with my family #I’m 60lbs heavier than I was 3 years ago but I’m happy and enjoying life #tw ed #tw weight #tw fatphobia #ok to rb

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godsfavoritescientist · 9 months

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Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.

I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.

Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?

How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"

And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.

So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.

So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.

And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.

And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.

Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.

And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.

So you sail away in a boat together.

And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.

But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.

But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.

You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.

And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-

-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.

You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.

And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.

It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.

And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.

#succumbed to the stan twins angst visions and wrote 2000 words about this #ford pines #ford meta #this turned into a character analysis that almost reads like a fic #godswriting #<- i need to change my writing tag to this #something bothers me a little bit about the solution to their conflict being 'ford appreciates stan more now so he is now fine with-#-boat adventures with stan'. to me it leaves the initial conflict of 'he doesnt want to do that anymore' unresolved #obviously you could easily argue that ford never stopped wanting to go on boat adventures with stan and he just couldnt justify it to-#-himself when compared to the opportunity at west coast tech. but that has one less layer of conflict #compared to the possibility that he truly was not interested in boat adventures anymore. ESPECIALLY if its a manifestation of him #feeling suffocated by the whole dynamic-twins-duo thing #its normal to start wanting a little bit more space especially at that age. to want to have space to figure out who you are #the healthy thing would have been them talking about it and figuring out a compromise. like 'when ford needs space he can spend a few hours #-alone without stan being worried the whole time that it means ford hates him' and 'we still spend x amount of time working on the boat and #-we still chat on the way to and from school every day and hang out at the beach on weekends'#like of fucking course it was never about hating stan or about wanting to get away from him because of who he is as a person!#he literally just wanted to have a little bit of breathing room to be his own separate person. he just didn't know how to put it into words #I really think the crux of it all was them not knowing how to navigate that balance between independence and identity while staying close #so ford misattributing/reducing that feeling to 'I dont have the exact same dream as stan anymore. why does he still have that dream. oh no #feels like a good way of giving that conflict a tangible aspect to it thats easy for the stans to point at and talk about as a way of-#-alluding to the REAL core of the conflict between them.#and of course the show never says 'they sail around the world for the rest of their lives 24/7' so it's not like it Actually Conflicts with #-my interpretation of the conflict and how it should be resolved. but since its the last thing we see happen between them when theyre given #their happy ending. I feel compelled to say 'hey I know them living in the shack together and traveling in a boat every single year sounds-#-really fun and like a satisfying ending but I think they should have a Little Bit more space from eachother than that. Hanging out almost-#-daily but not literally being in the same house and same boat for the rest of their lives. bc if stan was ok with ford asking for that-#-little bit of space and if ford didnt panic and isolate himself from everyone whenever he needs like one hour of alone time? that would-#-feel like a big piece of the puzzle fitting into place for their conflict resolution and growth as characters. to me #and I think they deserve to have all the tied-up-loose-ends and resolved-conflicts and character-growth in the world.

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hella1975 · 5 months

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there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.

#like my day today was literally drag myself out of bed at 10am to meet my econ friends bc we're in a group together #and i spent two hours with them writing a fucking TRADE REPORT before coming home #and the rest of the day was kinda lost. i showered. i put a wash on. i had a nap. i mainly stayed in my room #which sometimes is the End Of All Things but today was quite nice #and i can hear in their rooms how my flatmates are doing the exact same thing. pottering about and getting on with uni #and we've barely spoken all day but earlier my one flatmate ran into my room all excited to show me her nails #bc she's been teaching herself to do gels and it took her 2 hours but im still one of the first people she wanted to show #and just now we all went to use the bathroom at the same time and it led to one of our Stair Sessions #where we all inexplicably just gather on the stairs and chat for no reason with a cup of tea #idk it's just nice. it's such basic shit but i can't belive in first year i used to spend EVERY DAY with these girls #and we were one single friendship group and that was all we had #and then in second year one girl branched off bc she lived in a studio and got into her societies #but me and the other girl lived together again and it was the same thing of she was a friend before she was someone i lived with #and weirdly that can actually be detrimental to a dynamic. but this year we're all just very solidified and confident in ourselves #and where we stand and yes we all have our own friendship groups outside of the house now #but there's still that love and simple comfortableness around each other that you only get with time and a hell of a lot of proximity #and a sense of being settled that maybe is just what happens as you get older #idk it's just really nice. if i had this exact same day in first year (doing economics and barely leaving my room)#it would've been a really bad depressive day for me so the fact i can find such contentment from it now is really heartening #i love my little life here im very proud of what ive been able to achieve :)#hella goes to uni #feeling nostalgic because SOME BITCH decided to ribs post

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orcelito · 5 months

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Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.