#there is hope thought for a few anyway

[ruporas]

asking and receiving (bonus below readmore)

[ID: A black and white, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood. In the first panel is a close up of Wolfwood's mouth as he says, "Vash". Accompanying it is a close up shot of Vash's eye, widen and cheeks flushed. Wolfwood presses a knee against the open space between Vash's legs and says, "Tell me everything you want from me." Wolfwood's face is equally as flushed. He continues to say, "I'll give it to you. Everything." As he talks, a wide shot shows the both of them in white space. Vash is sitting, leaning a little back with both hands pressed against the surface he's sitting on. Wolfwood is in his white dress shirt, stripped of the blazer. He's still leaning in with one knee in between Vash's spread legs, his right hand touching Vash's lips and his left hand behind his back.

The shot closes in on Vash's mouth and Wolfwood's hand against it, pressing down on the lower lip as he says, "You have to ask though. Go on." His hand moves down to Vash's chin, gently holding it. With a shy and uncertain expression, Vash hesitantly asks, "Um... K... Kiss... Please?" Wolfwood, without wasting a second, leans in and kisses him and indulges by pressing deeper, eliciting a small noise of surprise from Vash.

Wolfwood moves away from Vash first and with a smile, asks, "What else?" Vash tugs on Wolfwood's left sleeve, wordlessly budging Wolfwood to give him his hand that was still behind his back. In the next panel, Vash utters, "Hold me..?" He's holding Wolfwood's left hand with his own while his right hand is reaching for his waist. Wolfwood complies, moving his left hand to Vash's shoulder and his right hand continues to touch Vash's cheek. Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

More comfortable now, Vash leans in to kiss Wolfwood. Wolfwood catches him immediately, pressing his thumb against Vash's lips to stop him before demanding, "Hey. Ask." Vash looks back in surprise and Wolfwood meets his eye with a quiet, insistent look. They're quiet for a moment before Vash leans in again and curtly requests, "Kiss. Me." Wolfwood says "Good", smiling as he lifts his hand away, and meets Vash's lips. In the next shot, Wolfwood had adjusted his position, sitting on Vash's thigh. The hand that was once on Vash's cheek has moved its way to Vash's nape, pushing away the collar of his jacket with his pinky. His other hand continues to grip on Vash's shoulder. Still kissing, Wolfwood asks again, "What else?"

In the next shot, Vash is starting to turn, moving Wolfwood with him. Vash asks, "Let me on top of you?" Wolfwood says, "Mhm" before asking again, "What else?" The next panel shows a close look of Vash's face. He's looking down, flushed and shy just as he had been at the beginning, but now, more decisive. Vash asks, "Wolfwood... Let me have you..?" A panel of Wolfwood taking Vash's hand into his, pulling it towards his chest. The next panel shows Wolfwood lying down where Vash had laid him. Vash's hand is on Wolfwood's chest, covering the cross of his rosary while Wolfwood's hand lingers against his, loosely pressing Vash's hand in place. He looks up at Vash with a shy smile of his own, flushed cheeks. He says, "All yours."

A panel shows a close up of Vash's tender gaze before he leans down to be closer to Wolfwood. The final shot is a front view of their positions, Vash's face turned away from the viewer; Vash is leaning over Wolfwood who's lying down with his right leg draped over Vash's legs. Wolfwood's left hand holds onto Vash's left arm. With finality, Vash says, "...Mine." End ID]

[ID: A follow up bonus comic in a looser, sketchier style. They're laying comfortably in bed when Vash asks, "What was that earlier?" referecing to the start of the previous comic. Wolfwood glances away and says, "To get you used to it. Asking. And getting what you ask for. Since you're alwasy hesitant about it." Vash's eyes widen, tight lipped. Wolfwood continues, "Knowing you, it'll be a tough habit to break..." When he says this, Vash can't help but laugh, unable to deny it. Wolfwood slowly brings a hand to Vash's cheek and continues to say, "So I'll keep trying -- whatever ways I can... to get it through your thick skull." Vash takes Wolfwood's hand with his, kissing the the palm gently. Wolfwood's eyes soften and holding onto Vash's cheek, he leans in to try for a kiss. Vash says, "Hey..." before stopping Wolfwood's lips with the back of his hand, a smug look on his face, "Ask." Wolfwood's embarrassed and with little irritation, asks, "Really?" Vash smiles, saying, "You're in need of practice too." They pause for a moment, Wolfwood looking contemplatively, before he's leaning in again, asking, "May I please kiss you?" Vash looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes." The comic ends with a "chu", indicating an off-panel kiss. End ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #it took me so long to post this even after getting clarification about the maturity warning and stuff #bc i am so shy about it. SDGMKDSGMKSD I LIKE THIS COMIC BUT IM ALSO SO LIKE... AUGHHHH.... #when i posted this on twitter though it was like... a few days after ep 11? ive always had the thought circling about vash deserving of #asking for things... and getting what he wants bc he never gets both. doesn't get the opportunity to ask and hardly does he get what he want #maybe the results can go in his favor but at some point along the way he'll still lose something bc nothing can ever go perfectly for him... #and he's usually the one begging and pleading with people to not. do something. it's not even asking at that point it's just straight up #please believe me. please trust me. please don't shoot that person. please don't kill anyone. please don't do it. #and wolfwood.... it was not always this lovey dovey ok. he wouldv noticed this habit miles away and they got into a fight about it the first #time they talked about it bc wolfwood is being hypocritical too. as he always is!!!! but i think as they get more intimate #wolfwood finds ways to make vash understand. smth smth insatiable want and love and desire for wolfwood that makes it much easier to ask. #wolfwood can also just be so compliant. sometimes. which is also an issue in of itself that id love to explore at some point #but he also just enjoys giving into vash fully and completely. #bc he loves him a lot. but anyway #i hope the id is comprehendible.... please lmk if there's something wrong with how im doing it asfdgkdsmgs #ruporas art

[thordy]

#I'm having feelings again. like some kind of season twelver #so much to unpack #non macden thoughts: I am so glad they're using devito again.... he's literally an A-list actor yet for the last few seasons #frank has done nothing but a few one-liners... it's good to see peepaw shine again ❤️ #eating and spitting and swearing and beating birds to death.... et cetera #tbh everyone has kinda been out to pasture #I mean no of course standing in different locations and delivering washed up political opinions in your normal speaking voice is acting #go back to bed honey #anyway! wow. macdennis #feels like a good trade-off for the awful uncle jack content this season #I hope dennis explodes him for his mental health day #iasip

[ronpatrash]

here's a saimota piece I did for @maizonoapologist for the kaito gift exchange!!! <333

there's a part two to this gift as well cause I thought about a saihoshimota au where shuichi and ryoma are fishermen and kaito's a mermaid, and doodled a bit about it heheh

#art by me #ndrv3 #kaito gift exchange #kaito momota #shuichi saihara #saimota #ryoma hoshi #saihoshimota #hjdgjjkfd there were a few more doodles i wanted to include to explain more about the au i suddenly thought of jfdgfgfd #imagine with me that ryoma and kaito have some background as amicably separated exes who probably still have some romantic tension #and shuichi as the newcomer hire likes both of them #and that mermaid kaito still loves the stars and wants to know more about them...and shuichi lets him borrow a telescope for a bit...aheem #anyway tHIS WAS SUPER FUN TO DRAW HOPE U LIKE IT MOTS!!! ;;;w;;

[isbergillustration]

It's So Cold Here

#had a cool fun thought about the cyberarctic story mentioned a few days ago while finishing this hope the concept isn't too obvious because #i think it kinda rules #anyway here's a guy #painting #acrylic paint #colour pencil #posca pens #illustration #artists on tumblr #my art #sorry should be cyberantarctic but that's a lot less catchy wordwise

[zhongrin]

✼ー hello, my dear patrons.

i have an important announcement to make.

for my own mental health and reinforcing my boundaries, i will be implementing changes on how i interact in this blog. the general rules (shop etiquette) and taglist rules (membership) have been updated to reflect this.

to give a short summary of the changes, moving forward, i will fully cease interactions with minors or ageless blogs. the same goes for my taglist, which i have purged. more details can be found in the two links above. feel free to drop by my askbox if you need any clarifications.

i'm sorry to my mutuals / friends / followers, who are minors / uncomfortable in disclosing their age, but have been following the rules and respecting my boundaries. i'm truly sorry it had to come to this, but i have had enough. the nature of my content will stay the same but if these changes doesn't sit well with you, please feel free to unfollow or block.

lastly, if you have been following my rules, genuinely, thank you so, so much for respecting the human being behind the handle name 'zhongrin'. you are a blessing to humanity and i hope good things will come your way soon.

ps. i will be reblogging this post for about a week or so, just so people can see it.

#a psa from rin #i thought about it for the past few days and as of now i think this is the best choice i can make #i don't want to throw this blog away but also i don't want to keep being paranoid whenever i interact with someone #i know it's not a foolproof solution because you can definitely lie about your age but whatever #i will be using the block button even more liberally. especially if i think something is off #i'm just sick of being lied to atp #anyway #i hope you're having a good day and taking care of yourself!

[bookshelfdreams]

do it. gimme the Izzy straight-coded meta 👀

I feel like I need to preface this by saying that Actually, Izzy Is Straightcoded would be the inflammatory clickbait title I'd give this if it were written to draw traffic & ad revenue to my shitty website. So don't take that term too seriously.

There has been a lot of ink spilled about Izzy thinking he's in a story where one can only be subtextually queer. Some even by yours truly, but the more I think about it, the less sense it makes. What would be the purpose of queercoding Izzy?

In general, villains* aren't queercoded to show that men being attracted to other men is bad. It's often the outcome; but it's not why the trope exists. It exists because cishet people tend to be (and are encouraged to be) profoundly uncomfortable with gender nonconformity, and so, making a character gnc becomes a quick and easy way to make him appear twisted and untrustworthy. If he** can't even obey the fundamental rules of his own gender (rules that are inherent and unchangeable!) what other rules does he disobey?

Or: If a man is insufficiently masculine, he can't be trusted to have morals. The villain isn't gnc because that's an evil trait to have; rather, the gender nonconformity is a symptom of his evilness. Being evil is what enables him to embrace his feminine side, and embracing his feminine side is what others him and marks him as a villain.

This only really works when he's contrasted with a hero (or heroine) who is Doing Gender Correctly. The villain is foul to highlight how good the hero is. The Hero will be honest and straightforward, brave, physically powerful; the Queercoded Villain treacherous, cowardly, and physically weak. The hero is a Proper Man, a Good Person. The villain an Improper Man, and therefore, a Bad Person.

Of course ofmd fundamentally rejects this. The shorthand wouldn't work, because ofmd simply doesn't think effeminacy is creepy. It's uninterested in moralizing self-expression; it just lets people be how they are. There's a wide range of expressions of masculinity on this show, and none of it is inherently bad. People are allowed to be hypermasculine, flamboyant, and anything inbetween, can express their gender in whatever manner they want, and it's all fine - as long as they are authentic about it. Be however you are, but be yourself, and this is what Izzy fails at. The repression marks him as a villain. The strict adherence to what he thinks a Real Man Pirate ought to be like. He's very preoccupied with enforcing a traditional (and toxic) masculinity on himself and others. It's no coincidence the characters he antagonizes the most - Stede and Lucius - are also the most effeminate ones. And I know, I know anglophones have a much more casual relationship to twat and cunt, those don't nearly feel as uncomfortable for y'all as they do for me, so I don't want to assign too much significance here, but he is the only character who constantly uses this kind of language, and also the one who uses the most gender&sexuality based slurs (as far as I remember).

All of this while being clearly, obviously queer himself! I do not feel like I need to explain this; his flustered reaction when Lucius asks him if he's ever been sketched speaks for itself. The fact that he meets Stede and immediately slices his shirt off of him, speaks for itself. And so on.

Izzy isn't straightcoded in the sense that the story wants us to believe he's exclusively attracted to women. Much like a queercoded villain doesn't need to be shown to be attracted to men (and can even be shown to be attracted exclusively to women!) to still be queercoded. He's straightcoded in the sense that he's a stand-in for restrictive and toxic gender roles that society enforces on people. He buys into the idea that there's a way of Doing Gender Wrong, and this is presented as a tragic character flaw. Something he has to overcome to be able to do the thing that actually marks a hero in this show: express himself authentically.

Part of why I found his death so moving is because it enables him to set right the toxicity he spread. His rehabilitation arc was about himself; about finally allowing himself to be, accepting love, accepting community. His death was about taking responsibility. About fully recognizing the hurt he caused. Looking death in the face enables him to finally abandon the last shreds of that toxicity, to apologize and be granted forgiveness. In the end, he was not beyond saving, and the harm he has done will be healed.

*Izzy is introduced as an antagonist to both Stede and the central romance of this romcom. I'm not gonna debate this; if you disagree, fine, but you clearly have such a fundamentally wrong different view of the show that it's pointless for us to try and convince each other.

**of course Queercoded Female Villains exist s well, but they are a whole different can of worms and less relevant to this discussion

#okay now that i typed this all out i realize that i just basically keep writing the same izzy post over and over sorry for that #but i spent too long on it not to post it #i do not remember who said it but i saw a post a few days ago along the lines of #izzys death reads like the fantasy of a repentant abusive parent #and i think theres truth to that #may also read like the fantasy of the kid of an abused parent #finally the person who hurt you is able to apologize and you can part on good terms #but also wont have to deal w the fallout #i write as my grandmother who doesnt speak to us is probably dying idk #anyway! #i hope this is somewhat interesting #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #thoughts #anonymaus #message

[chikahoshi]

I commissioned @tikklil from Twitter/Instagram again to draw 42 Miles/42 Gwen based off @bloody-writing's fic Tonight You Belong To Me. This fic is the reason why I ship them so hard, so I think it's only fitting that I commission fanart inspired by this fic as a thank you. Hopefully, I can do some more commissions based on this fic because there are scenes that I really think is worth seeing illustrated. So fingers crossed. (As a disclaimer, I did get permission to post the commission here.)

#miles x gwen #gwiles #ghostprowler #tempted to tag ghostflower too...but i'm going to hold off from doing so #also...this isn't 100% strictly faithful to the fic... #some of this was due to my fault for not being more prepared to present the details to the artist #some of this I just thought it would be better to change some minor details... #anyways if anyone saw my post where i said i was going to take a break from commissions #depending on how my personal life goes that break might be a lot smaller than i thought it would be... #but yeah...I'm just waiting to see how that goes and if things go the way i hope it will be #then for sure you'll see some more commissions a lot sooner than i had expected :) #i will give a hint though that the next commission idea is going back to 1610 miles and 65 gwen...there's been an idea that's been stuck in #my head for a few months and i really want to see that come to life #it makes me happy thinking about so i hope it will be the same for others too

[llondonfog]

diasomnia month // prompt 10 — rain

The weather of Briar Valley has always been harsh, perhaps more in tune with their draconian rulers than nature itself, but this rainstorm seems to take exceptional delight in its cruelty.

It hammers with a vengeance against Lilia's armor, soaking the already stained arachne-spun garments beneath into a gruesome slurry of sweat and blood that splatters to the crushed foliage below— though none his own.

"A healer to me, NOW!"

The roar of his own voice breaking across the relentless thunder of the rain and cacophony of scrambling soldiers hardly sounds familiar; there is an undercurrent of true fear like the bloated, dark bellies of the clouds above them, roiling and ready to release. There is no time to be grateful that the din of the storm itself drowns out his weakness, but there is no time for anything at all as the seconds tick down with every passing moment that the boy collapsed in his arms heaves blood over Lilia's trembling hands.

"You foolish, fucking child!"

It is easier to be incandescent with anger, to reach into that raw, bubbling rage inside of himself rather than expose his heart for what it has become. It is easier to hurl curses at that wretched human as the boy blinks unfocused eyes up at Lilia's face as if to focus on the moon itself, his gloved hands slipping and sliding over the ragged hole pierced through his stomach like that might keep his organs inside.

"I could have easily dodged that blow, I did not ask for you to defend me like some hapless fledgling!"

His voice is rising to strange, new octaves as the rain saps the already pallid color from the human child's face, streaking down his cheeks and plastering his bangs to his skin— Lilia finds himself struck with the bizarre desire to brush them away if he were not bleeding out in his very arms. There's absolutely no remorse or shame in that disgustingly honest face, and Lilia's heart all but twists itself into oblivion as the boy chokes out "Father—" as if in prayer, as if to summon the man himself to save him from his fate.

"BAUL, A HEALER TO ME, NOW!"

#twisted wonderland #twst spoilers #twisted wonderland silver #twst silver #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #diasomnia #diasomniamonth2024 #i got really inspired by seeing an author i admire in a different fandom just post like 52 ch of 200 word drabbles #and say that you shouldn't punish yourself for quantity over quality #and i am NOT saying this is quality #but the thought helped a lot with my writing block these past few weeks #ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU ENJOY #pain; suffering; the lettie llondonfog usual <3 #lettie writes

[namakes]

One extremely flattering angle of Big Man for you

#splatoon #big man (splatoon) #Hope everyone had fun this fest! #it was pretty intense for me but I did well! #managed to get and win a 100x in the last few minutes so I could snap some shots #didn’t manage to actually get this as a picture sadly :( #had to take a video and then screencap the recording #anyway good job everyone! #i didn’t see a lot of team shiver tbh #was she not as popular as everyone thought? #or was I just (un)lucky enough to keep fighting fryes? #it seemed pretty even tho I think? #I didn’t get many mirrors even in tris

[favoure]

me when my homie doesn't love me like he used to

#wip #desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #favourarts #okay to tag as ship ! #this is a draft for a zine piece that i did in like 3 hours JSKDJFSDF #it would Normally take me longer but ah . i was rushing WOOPS #gonna refine it in the next few days . . . Hopefully #i hope i dont get distracted ERM I'VE GOT DEADLINES !!!! #reusing my caption from the priv i thought it was funny #anyways its 1am on a monday . GOOD NIGHT !!!!

[mymlody]

better alternatives to purchasing from devilinspired

after seeing the 40,000th video of lolitas ordering from sites like devilinspired and my-lolita-dress and seething/coping/fuming/etc, i’ve decided to make a post giving resources for better alternatives if you want to purchase from brands on taobao and receive better pricing and customer service while doing so!

“but why are devilinspired/my-lolita-dress bad?”

they’re not necessarily evil sites that need to be boycotted per se, but they don’t exactly have a high standard for quality control (including selling design and print replicas), price gouge pretty badly, and have had less than stellar customer service, so i thought it would be better to give people resources for smarter purchasing!

here's a 2018 breakdown comparing the prices between the shopping service 42agent and buying through taobao directly

here's a tutorial on how to navigate and purchase from taobao directly without the use of a shopping service/agent

and here is a link to 42agent’s lolita vendor site, 42lolita, which has consistently better brand quality control, lower pricing, and better customer service than DI or MLD

i’ve also crossposted this info to twitter via a thread :)

#note #sweet lolita #egl fashion #egl community #lolita fashion #since i saw l*velylor shilling my-lolita-dress even after actively complaining about their customer service i got a little autism mad #so i thought it would be good to turn that autism anger into something productive LMFAO #i dont want people accidentally buying replicas from MLD or waiting forever for devilinspired products that will never arrive #and then having to wait an additional few months for a refund #anyway i hope this helps someone LOL #feel free to ask any questions if you need any

[plulp]

JORDAN PLEASE DONT WEAR SO MANY CLOTHES. PPLEQASE

#my art #dol #jordan the pious #PLEASE TAKE THEM OFF PPLEASE #MONK HABITS AARE SO ......... 😰 #i had to LOOK UP THE PIECES OF A MONKS HABIT and MANIPULATE IT to not look like. THAT. #had to look up what a cross looked like too. sorry god #anyways. i think jordan would look cute in a braid and also have a mole #because its cute too #ugh.......... finally able to get this out of my head though #been trying to work on it for the past few days but i just couldnt get it right #for some reason i thought jordan had green eyes? i was wrong though. #its still a little off for me but i genuinely think its because theyre wearing too much clothes #i need to draw jordan without the cowl sometime. i hate the cowl. take that thing off #well. such is the fate of a freak such as i #i might make a poll to ask who you all want me to draw next because ive basically drawn all my favorite characters #besides leighton i really love him <- sicko who does the GET BLACKMAILED thing just so i can cheat save and fuck him repeatedly #anyways hope you all like this one #EDIT: SORRY LOOKED AT IT AND NOTICED A CRITICAL ERROR #UP NOW.

[mumbledramblings]

[Trigun OC]

i do, in fact, think dick jokes and dick measuring contests are the highest form of humour

#trigun #trigun stampede #trigun fanart #tristamp #vash the stampede #vash saverem #vash #nicholas d. wolfwood #nicholas the punisher #wolfwood #mid draws #trigun oc #oc - bad luck #ever since i first thought of this it's been making me giggle #which #i really needed these past few days #there are other parts to this joke but i haven't drawn them yet . because. i don't have it in me rn. #if the punisher looks ugly and weird it's because it is and i don't have it in me to fix it for a dick joke #also don't ask me what wolfwood's hair is doing. idk. i panicked. #anyway if for some reason you're still reading i hope you have a good day i love you

[marcmorrigan]

@fenglianweek day 6: memories/growing up

the best thing thats ever been mine

#tgcf #xie lian #feng xin #fenglian #fenglianweek24 #my art #full color #I SPENT SOOO LONG ON THIS ONE... like not long for me. fast for me! but compared to the other ones ive done for flw. long. #this has been a few weeks of work and im very happy with how it turned out! tried to be thoughtful about how i approached the colors #and i think it really paid off! theres SO MANY COLORS in the pants im so proud of all the fabric in this... #that white fabric has so. many colors. it makes me super happy #also some of the fallen petals make hearts. btw >:o) #idk if they translate well but feng xin has top surgery scars!!! theyre both trans but xie lian is a cultivator so. he just uses magic #i KNOW when he first learned transformation magic he like BOOKED IT to feng xin to show him like 'LOOK. FLAT!!!' #and little teenxin was like 'ummm 😳 yeah. flat' #ANYWAY!!! idk if they actually look like teens here... hopefully yes. xie lian does to me at least??? #or at least he looks different from how i draw him as an 800smthng year old lol. but still like himself i think!!! i hope... #whatever. point is. do you remember we were sitting there by the water. you put your arm around me for the first time. you made a rebel of #the tags cut me off there. thats a good thing. IF YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW. #did you guys know i have headcanons about the type of tswift fans mu qing and xie lian would be. well now you know. I Have Thoughts #OKAY THATS ENOUGH TAGS I NEED TO ACTUALLY POST THIS. ILY MUAH TTYL

[sixteenthchapel]

Do you have any fun/personal head-cannons for the Pilgrims?

Hmmm.. I don't know if this really counts as a headcanon, but I guess something I think is funny about how I see the relationship between Wukong and Trip is this.

Monkey being torn between hating the priest that put him in this position and put the headband on him, and always wanting to be number one is every single thing. Monkey doesn't accept second place and doesn't get why he can't be super mean and rude to Tripitaka all the time and not also be the priest's favorite disciple.

He should simply have everything, it's not that complicated in his head LOL

#ty for the ask <3 #hes the best at everything clearly and everyone must love him #also monkey craving acceptance and love but only really knowing how to get that through threats and violence #which isnt real love of course but its the best he's been able to do all this time #another reason i love the relationship balance between him and trip #trip is the first person he's encountered that isnt afraid of him and wont put up with his nonsense #anyway i love them #hope that kinda answers your question i guess i have a few thoughts on the pilgrims but thats one of them #tripitaka #sun wukong #jttw #jttw tag

[quuerbee]

Just saw a picture of divine dragon chung myung before he got that title and it really hit me how small Cho Sam's body was when chung myung came back. This little thought has spoilers for chapter 400+ (I think anyway) and vague spoilers for everything past ch 400 until like. Ch 800

GOD OK so we as the reader understand chung myungs situation very very intimately. WE understand that he is an 80+ year old man mentally. WE understand that he is not in fact 15, then 17, then 19, 20, etc. Everyone around him, however, truly believe that he is those ages.

It's brushed upon multiple times throughout the novel, especially whenever chung myung is down for the count/recovering after a fight. The facade he makes around himself, the strong reliable leader, fades away and the "truth" of who he is reinstates itself to those close to him in this second life. His back, every time he wavers, is described as small. This is always through the perspective of anyone but himself. This is even more apparent whenever he is unconscious after a serious fight. I don't know exactly chapters, but i KNOW that baek cheon (and the rest of the 5 swords plus soso and hye yeon), at least once, has had the reality of Chung myungs apparent age dawn upon them. That they're youngest sajae (sahyung in soso's case) is constantly spilling his own blood to protect them. (This fact is straight up said by yu iseol after the particularly bad fight with Jang ilso, spitting her frustration with only getting in chung myungs way instead of protecting him).

This phenomenon is hardly limited to the main group of disciples. After the first myriad men siege on Mount hua (while The Gang is in Xian), everyone subconsciously gains courage with the thought that soon enough chung myung will come, that he'll protect them. The disciples (soso being the most prevalent since she's one of the main disciples focused on in the novel) of course correct this thought, realizing that they cannot rely on chung myung forever. Anyways moving on from just describing this arc. What I mainly want to focus on is Hyun jong and chung myungs interaction AFTER the siege is finished, after un gum is fresh off of his amputation, after chung myung has barely gotten treatment for his own (quite serious) injuries.

What do you think when through Hyun jong's mind, seeing his youngest disciple, the one who brought back the hope that had almost died out with his sect, ruthlessly kill the enemy, return heavily wounded, and then try to sneak out almost immediately to go back to smite those who have harmed his home? To us, Chung myung is more than capable. He's the plum blossom sword Saint, the one who (even with all the regret he holds over this) severed the head of the heavenly demon. He's an 80+ year old man trying to protect the only thing besides bloodshed that is familiar in this second life. We understand the guilt he has over not being able to protect his home the first time. We understand that he would rather die than allow Mount Hua to fall again.

Hyun jong does not know this. He does not understand chung myungs rage (and guilt and grief and longing and-). He looks at chung myung and sees an 18 or 19 (I don't remember) year old boy, covered in wounds, trying to sneak out of his home on a suicide mission of revenge. He sees a boy. He knows that if he let's this boy go, he will never see him alive again. So he uses chung myungs borderline (who are we kidding, it is way past borderline) unhealthy loyalty with mount hua to dissuade him from walking to his death.

ANYWAYS long story not so short, I need need need more analysis over what everyone but chung myung thinks about him. Everyone sees this young teen, then young adult, bend over backwards to the point where he has almost died so so so many times just so mount hua can flourish. They've seen him kill ruthlessly, they've seen him sob over the skeleton of an ancestor (one of his brothers, a reminder of what he has lost, what he will never get back), they've seen him silly and carefree, they've seen him almost mad with bloodlust.

To us, he is chung myung, the old plum blossom sword Saint, slayer of the heavenly demon. To them, he is chung myung, the scrawny 15 year old that changed their lives, that faces unknown traumas, that has had a life so, so unkind to him.

Sometimes I look at chung myung pre time skip, how small he is, how he looks like a child, how he acts nothing like one, and remember that only we, the readers, get the full context behind his actions.

#ANYWAYS #this turned out to be uh. not so small. #but no i saw 15 yr old chung myung and went #wow he really does look like a baby #and then my thoughts went WILD #i know this is kind of just like. a summery of a few different parts of the novel #and i kjnd repeat myself a lot #but i read a fic a whole ago that kind of touches on this whole conceot #i Do Not remeber what its called #but its basically the mount hua elders discussing things #and then chung myung is brought up #and all of them are like #wow this kid has obviously been through some shit. life has NOT been kind to him #but uh no yeah #sometimes i forget that the people of mount hua do NOT have the same context we do #and in place of the chung myung we see #they see a very very traumatized and scarily capable teen/young adult #and they dont know WHY HE ACTS LIKE THAT #but yeah hope this kinda makes sense #this novel makes me sick #return of the blossoming blade #rotmhs #return of the mount hua sect #analysis