#there was ONE year I could make this edit lest I wait another TEN

[anisaanisa]

Happy 27th Anniversary, Inuyasha!

Written and illustrated by Rumiko Takahashi, Inuyasha first debuted in Shogakukan's Weekly Shōnen Sunday (issue #50) on November 13th, 1996 ☆

#there was ONE year I could make this edit lest I wait another TEN #baby Anisa was 4. sound off where/when you were :D #my edit #inuyasha x kagome #miroku x sango #inuyasha #kagome #kagome higurashi #miroku #sango #shippo #kirara #inuyasha manga #inuyasha edit #manga edit #shounen #犬夜叉 #rumiko takahashi #shounen sunday 2003 #anisa reads inuyasha

[jobrookekarev]

I Double Dare You: Cousins Edition

Chapter One of One

Words: 6231

Summary: Link dares Jo to give him another godchild, and Jo dares him to back to give her another godchild as well. Alex and Amelia agree, and Luna and Scout become big siblings.

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson, and Atticus Lincoln/Amelia Shepherd.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Amelia Shepherd, Atticus Lincoln, Scout Shepherd-Lincoln, Luna Ashton, and Carina DeLuca.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences.

Additional Tags: Fluff, Pregnancy, Babies, Truth or Dare, Luna and Scout being BFFs, it’s a little crazy but just go with it.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

AN: This was a crazy idea that we threw around in the GC, and I decided to pursue it, and it turned out pretty cute.

……………………………………………………………………

Jo’s laughter rang through the loft as she leaned against Alex. Her giggles were joined by his own roar of laughter as Link sat on the riding pony. Jo and Alex had got the two foot tall brown toy horse for Luna for her birthday last month. But the sight of her partner on the little pony was the best thing Amelia had seen all year as she giggled. 

“Yeehaw,” Link shouted as he rocked back and forth, waving around an imaginary lasso. 

His time ran out long ago, but he was having so much fun that he just continued on riding. The four of them were all sitting around as Amelia sipped on her soda while Link, Alex, and Jo, were drinking for the first time in what seemed like a year. Ever since Amelia and Link had Scout and Jo and Alex had adopted Luna, their social visits usually consisted of activities for the babies. Since Link’s parents were visiting, they eagerly offered to take both kids overnight, leaving the four of them to have the first adult only evening in over a year. 

The night started off with dinner and drinks and quickly turned into a drinking game of truth or dare with Amelia as the moderator, lest their drunken activities get out of hand. So far, nothing too dangerous or sexual had happened, although Alex’s hand was far too high on Jo’s thigh, and Link had nuzzled up to her pretty close, so it was only a matter of time.

After one last yeehaw, Link finished and came stumbling back to sit next to her on the living room rug. 

“I was a cowboy,” Link said, giving her a big smile as Jo laughed so hard that she started hiccupping.

“You certainly were,” Amelia smiled as she leaned in to kiss him. “It's your turn. Do you want to go?”

“Yeah,” Link said eagerly before he looked over at the three of them. “Um, Jo, truth or dare.”

“Dare,” Jo said as she struggled to contain her giggles and hiccups.

“Okay, umm, I dare you to umm,” Link scrunched up his face in an adorably serious look as he tried to think of something.

Amelia's phone dinged, and she looked down to see a quick text from her mother-in-law, Maureen, saying that the kids had gone down for the night. The text was accompanied with a picture of Scout and Luna sleeping side by side, holding each other's hands as their heads were turned towards each other. She smiled and turned her phone so that the rest of them could see the photo. Link smiled as Jo took the phone out of Amelia's hand to kiss the screen.

She cooed in between her hiccups as Alex rubbed her back. “Aww, she's so cute. It reminds me of when she was a baby. I miss her being a baby. She’s so big now. She's walking and talking.”

“And getting into trouble, yesterday she got into the shaving cream on the ledge of the shower and got it all over the bathroom!” Alex laughed as he smiled at the photo with his crooked grin. “She looks so little and peaceful when she sleeps.” 

Jo looked over at Alex and put a hand on his chest. “I want another one.” 

“Me too,” Alex said, staring at her with a crooked grin as they got lost in each other's eyes.

Amelia wasn't sure how much of this conversation they would remember in the morning or if they would actually go through with it. As of last week, Jo was still adamant about putting off having a second kid since Luna was still in diapers.

“That's my dare!” Link said, pointing at them, as Jo turned her head back to look at him. Suddenly, he got very serious and leaned forward to stare at her. “Jo, I dare you to give me a second godchild.”

“Don't I get a say in this?” Alex asked, looking confused before Link quickly shushed him. 

“Oh please, you've been trying to knock me up for years. Are you not excited to do it now?” Jo said, giving him a look.

Alex smiled and gave a shrug as he took another sip of his beer. “Fair enough.”

“This is so exciting. I'm going to get another godchild,” Link said, looking over and smiling at Amelia as she just laughed. 

“Okay, but since I'm giving you a godchild, you should give me a godchild in return. Then our kids could be double best friends, just like Scout and Luna are!” Jo said, getting so excited that she started to bounce up and down.

“Oh yes,” Link said, looking back at her.

“Okay, hold up, cowboy, I don't think we should make this decision while you're inebriated,” Amelia said, trying to rein them in before it got out of control. 

“Why not,” Link said, looking over at her with sad eyes. “Scout's over a year old, and I want him to have a sibling. Growing up as an only kid was so lonely. We said we would try for a second kid when Scout was older and if not now, then when?”

Amelia had to admit that she did want a second kid with him. She grew up in a big family, and although her family wasn't the best, she loved having a big brother. Derek was always there for her and she loved him. If they had another kid, Scout would be their big brother just like Derek was to her. She wanted that for her son and for her other child. 

“Okay, how about we talk about this in the morning, yeah,” Amelia said, stealing away the last of the liquor and going to put it away.

“That's not a no,” Link said, looking back at her with a hopeful smile. 

“No, it's not a no, but it's not a yes either,” Amelia said, pointing her finger at him, hoping that it would get through to his drunken brain.

“Oh, it's happening,” Link said before turning back to Jo. “We're both going to have another baby!”

“Yay, we're having twin cousins!” Jo said, throwing her hands up in the air as she squealed in happiness, while Alex just burst out laughing and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a kiss. 

……………………………………………………………………

A few weeks later, Amelia walked into the bathroom at the hospital looking for Jo in between the stalls only to hear her throwing up. She went over to see her hunched over the toilet right where Amelia had left her. She kneeled down and rubbed Jo's back as she continued to heave what little bile and water she had in her stomach. Eventually, Jo's nausea passed, and she sat back as Amelia handed her some toilet paper so she could wipe her mouth.

“Did you get it?” Jo asked, looking up at her.

“Yep,” Amelia said, holding up both pregnancy tests before handing one to Jo.

“How are you not puking right now?” Jo looked up at her as Amelia just smiled and bristled with excitement.

“I never really got morning sickness when I’ve been pregnant, and besides, I'm not pregnant,” Amelia said with a shrug as she struggled not to smile as Jo scowled at her.

“I hate you so much right now. I hope you're just as knocked up as I am,” Jo said as she glared at her.

“I'm not, but keep dreaming. Besides, you're the one who wanted to do this. You said, let's be pregnant together, it'll be great,” Amelia said with a smirk.

Instead of glaring at her, Jo squeezed her eyes shut as she put her hand over her mouth, and Amelia instantly regretted her words. Amelia's smile fell as Jo truly looked miserable. She had been throwing up all morning and, according to Alex, part of last night as well. Although she had never had much morning sickness, she knew how terrible it could be, and she felt for her. 

Jo finally moved her hand away from her mouth as she let out of breath and opened her eyes. Amelia helped Jo up and handed her the test. Despite her morning sickness, Jo smiled, and Amelia couldn't help but share her excitement. Regardless of whether she was pregnant, which she wasn't, she was excited to get another niece or nephew from Jo and Alex. She knew the two of them would be so over the moon to have a new baby. 

“Ready?” Jo said, smiling up at her as she tore off the packaging.

“I guess so,” Amelia said, with a shrug before she went over to the next stall. 

They remained silent as they peed side by side before they washed their hands and sat against the wall as they waited for the tests to develop. Jo sighed and leaned her head against Amelia’s shoulders as Amelia wrapped her arm around her. Although Jo was Link's friend first, ever since Jo and Alex had adopted Luna and Amelia and Link had Scout, the two of them had become good friends as they became new mothers together. 

Jo closed her eyes and sighed as they waited for the test to develop, while Amelia kept her eye on both tests. She didn't really think she was pregnant. She didn't have any of the signs. Then again, she didn't realize she was pregnant with Scout until she was ten weeks along. She was even further along when she realized she was pregnant with Christopher. Amelia was both excited and terrified at the thought of being pregnant again, but as she watched both tests develop two very dark pink lines, she couldn't help but smile. She gently nudged Jo as she picked her head up and gasped, putting her hand over her mouth as she stared at their pregnancy tests. 

“We're pregnant,” Jo said, looking at her test again before looking back at Amelia, her eyes wide and a large smile across her face.

“We are!” Amelia said before they both looked at each other and exchanged a smile before they burst out laughing as they hugged. Although, she was apprehensive about having another kid initially. Now that it was real, she was extremely excited. 

“Oh my god, I can't wait to tell Alex. He's going to be so excited, and Link too!” Jo said in excitement as she looked down at the test again. “Oh, we should do it together! Why don't we go see Carina, and we can get an ultrasound done, then show the boys the photos.”

“Okay,” Amelia said with a smile as she let Jo pull her up and out of the bathroom. 

Although she was a little apprehensive about getting an ultrasound first off, she was a little bit excited. When she had Scout, she was so scared that he would have anencephalic too, but Scout was a happy and healthy baby. She felt more excited than nervous this time around, and she just wanted to enjoy her pregnancy. So she let Jo drag her over to the maternity ward as she babbled about how happy she was to see their babies.

……………………………………………………………………

“No way,” Jo said, again still trying to process the information, while Carina and Amelia shared a giggle. Jo was slack jawed and wide eyed as she stared up at the ultrasound screen that Carina had turned towards her. “No way.” 

The two of them were sitting in the ultrasound room. Jo had completed Amelia's ultrasound and was happy to see that her little godchild was doing well and offered to be Amelia's OB, something she had eagerly agreed to. Now it was her turn, and Jo was currently laying on the bed with her legs in the stirrup and a sheet over her waist and knees. Carina moved the ultrasound wand inside her vagina to get a look at her currently very, very occupied uterus.

“No freaking way.” Jo was in her third year of residency for OB/GYN, and from the moment she saw the ultrasound of her uterus, she knew what was going on inside her, yet she still couldn’t believe it. “No freaking way.”

“I am just going to get a few more photos and once Alex gets here, I will let you two hear the heartbeats,” Carina said with a smile as she looked back at the ultrasound screen.

Amelia laughed again before she looked down at the picture of her own ultrasound. Jo couldn't believe that she was laughing and was about to call her out on it before the door opened, letting light into the dark room. Jo turned her head to see Link come into the room. 

“Hey… Whoa,” Link said as he stopped in the doorway, turning pale before he looked over at Amelia.

She held up her ultrasound photo to him with a smile and a little laugh. Link's expression immediately changed to excitement as he rushed forward to wrap his arms around her. Finally, Alex made his way into the room, and just as Link had, he looked at her, then at the monitor, and turned pale. He just stood there in the doorway and stared at her, which was extremely infuriating.

“Twins,” Jo said, sitting up on her elbows as she glared at him. “You knocked me up with twins Alex Karev.”

Alex's jaw dropped as he put a hand over his chin, rubbing his beard as he just stared at her. “You're pregnant?”

Jo reached back to grab the pillow she was lying on and chucked it at his head. Alex was so in shock that the pillow hit him square in the face, and he didn't even blink. Finally, he seemed to come out of his daze as he came over to her and sat down on the chair Amelia had previously occupied. Alex stared up at the ultrasound and then back at her before doing a double-take. 

“Twins?” Alex asked, his eyebrows nearly in his forehead as he just stared at her.

“Obviously,” Jo said, pointing to the two grey spots on the screen that held two little babies inside her uterus. 

“Wait, you're not having twins, are you?” Link said, looking down at Amelia before staring at the ultrasound screen.

“Considering that the ultrasound wand is currently in my vagina. I'd say I'm the one with two babies in my uterus,” Jo said, glaring at him as well before laying back on the bed and crossing her arms. “But no, Amelia just has one baby. I checked myself.” 

Link shrunk back and hid behind Amelia, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek as she smiled, as they both stared down at their ultrasound photo. Jo looked over at her best friends as they had a sweet moment together before she looked up at her husband, who was still in shock. Alex was still staring, slack-jawed at the monitor, but at least he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

Carina laughed at the whole situation before she pointed at the screen where she had labeled each baby. “This one is baby A and this one is baby B. Although it's too early to tell if they're identical or fraternal.”

“We're having twins. We’re having two more babies,” Alex said, looking down at her as tears collected in his eyes. “I love them already.”

“I love them too,” Jo said, instantly tearing up as well. 

Alex leaned down to press his forehead against hers as they both cried happy tears. He pressed his lips to hers as Jo let herself relax into his kiss. When Alex pulled back, he sat close to her and squeezed her hand as they stared up at their two babies on the monitor. She was both overwhelmed and extremely excited. Ever since they had started trying for a baby, they had both been so excited, but Alex was so ready for another child. He had already bought a dozen onesies, and Helen had sent them a dozen adorable large sized baby hats. However, they agreed to reuse most of Luna's things since half of her stuff was gender neutral anyway. At least now, the extra onesies would come in handy, as they would certainly need the extras of everything. 

“Those are our babies,” Alex said, looking up at the monitor was such an affectionate smile. 

“Our babies,” Jo whispered, looking up at the screen, studying each of her babies.

“We're going to need another crib,” Alex said, scrunching up his nose in excitement.

“We're going to need a new house, we can't fit three babies in the Loft. There's barely enough space for the three of us as it is!” Jo said with a shaking her head.

“It'll be worth it,” Alex said, leaning down and kissing her again, and Jo knew that regardless of how terrified she was to carry twins, it would be worth it.

……………………………………………………………………

“This is so not fair,” Amelia said as she stared at Jo, who was lying on the bed with a smile completely drugged up as her epidural kicked in. 

As the two of them entered their third trimester, they agreed that they were both done with being pregnant, and they had been pretty miserable in the last few months. They had been doing everything to try and induce labor, but to no avail, until now. 

They had been eating lunch together with their kids and whining together about being pregnant when Jo’s water had broken. Given that baby A was breech and both twins had large heads, Jo and Carina agreed that a C-section was necessary. Instead of being scared or anxious like Amelia thought she would be, Jo was actually excited to be in labor and had had a smile across her face ever since her water broke. Then again Jo had been an OB resident for a while now, and she knew exactly what she was getting into. So she just laid there, smiling and happily rubbing her belly. 

“Oh your just jelly I went into labor first, but I have two Karev baby’s inside of me that have been torturing me for the past nine months, and now they get to come out, and I’ll be free,” Jo said smirking up at her, extremely excited for her C-section.

“Yeah, until they're here and they’re hanging off your boobs 24/7,” Amelia said, as she rolled her eyes, and Jo just shrugged, still smiling.

“Mama, babies here?” Luna asked, looking up from where she and Scout were settled in the chair across the room, watching a show on the tablet. 

“Your sisters aren't here yet, Little Moon, but soon,” Jo reassured her with a smile. 

“Mommy, my baby's here?” Scout asked, having heard Luna’s question and looking up as well. He had been calling the baby his baby ever since they got him a baby doll that they used to teach him about the new baby. 

“Not yet bud, I guess they're still cooking,” Amelia said, looking down at her swollen stomach as she rubbed her belly.

One of the nurses Jo was friends with was supposed to be there any minute to take Luna and Scout back down to daycare. For now, they were all just hanging out in Jo's room. Luna slipped off of the seat and tottled over to Jo’s bed. To both of their surprise, Luna crawled up on the bed and settled next to Jo, who wrapped her arms around her daughter and cuddled her close.

“Hey babies,” Luna said, pressing her mouth against Jo’s belly to talk to her younger sisters. “Time to come out now.”

 Amelia and Jo both laughed as Jo pulled Luna back to hug her close and placed a kiss on her head in between her two little blonde pigtails. Luna seemed content to cuddle against her mom's side, and Scout came over too, missing his best friend, and Amelia pulled him up to sit on her ever small lap as they started the show again. A few minutes later, nurse Sophie came in to take them down to the daycare.

“Bye, Mommy,” Scout said, kissing her cheek before he hopped down and took Sophie’s hand. 

“Bye Mama, bye babies, come out soon,” Luna said, kissing Jo and then leaning down to kiss her belly before Sophie lifted her off the bed. Scout took Luna’s hand as they both waved to them as they left.

“I just heard from Carina, she is still getting the OR prepped, and I heard that Dr. Karev just got out of surgery and is on his way up,” Sophie said as she ushered the kids out into the hall.

“Thank you,” Jo said as Sophie closed the door before she looked back at Amelia with a smirk. “Still jealous?”

“Shut up,” Amelia said as she shook her head and looked away while Jo only giggled. 

Jo closed her eyes and enjoyed a little bit of peace and quiet before she had to go up for her C-section. To be honest, Amelia was a little envious that Jo had gone into labor already. This was her third pregnancy, and at 38 weeks, Amelia was ready to be done. Jo had also been complaining about being pregnant with the twins from the very beginning. At this point, she was measuring at 45 weeks, despite being only 37 weeks and her belly was the size of a beach ball, compared to Amelia's smaller basketball sized belly. 

Jo wasn't even supposed to be at the hospital, as she was technically on maternity leave, but Carina and Alex had her come in every day so that they could keep a close eye on her. Although, Jo was stuck at the nurse’s station doing paperwork and taking calls. Amelia, however, was eagerly committed to working up until her water broke. It was a good distraction from her frustration of not being in labor yet. Besides, she knew that when she went on maternity leave, she would miss surgery. So she had scheduled as many as she could and had two craniotomies later this afternoon.

A few moments later, Carina knocked before she came into the room. “Okay, Jo, the OR is ready.”

“Wait, Alex isn't here yet,” Jo pleaded, her smile disappearing as she frantically looked between Amelia and Carina. “I can't do this without him.”

“It is alright, Jo, you are only a few centimeters dilated, and your contractions aren't very close, so we're in no rush,” Carina said, coming over to reassure Jo as she placed a hand on her shoulder and Jo took a deep breath and relaxed. 

Amelia squeezed Jo’s hand as she looked back at her and took another deep breath. Carina came over and sat in the chair on Jo's other side and took her hand. Jo closed her eyes and laid back on the bed, trying to relax until Alex got there. Amelia had gone through her labors with both of her sons without their father's present. She knew how hard it was and was so grateful that her friends and Bailey had been there for her, and she was determined to stay with Jo throughout her labor and C-section. 

Ever since they had both gotten pregnant, Jo and Amelia had gone through most of their milestones together, although Amelia was a week ahead of Jo. Amelia had taught Jo all the tricks she used to make her pregnancy easier, although it was hard for Jo carrying the twins either way. They had found out together, they had gone to appointments together. They had even helped each other make up the nurseries as they had both bought houses side by side. Jo and Alex rented out the Loft to Levi and Link and Amelia finally moved out of Meredith’s place. Together, they combined their backyards to create one giant yard for all of their kids to play in together.  

Suddenly, the door swung open as Alex rushed in, with Link just behind him. Carina got up and moved from Jo's side as Alex scrambled over to her. “I'm here, I'm here, Jo!”

Alex cupped Jo's face with his hand and rubbed her cheek with his thumb as Jo’s eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him. “You made it.”

“Of course I made it. I wouldn't miss this for the world and I got out of surgery as quickly as I could,” Alex whispered to her as he leaned over to kiss her forehead.

Link came up behind her as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders, placing the other on her belly as they felt the baby kick, and Amelia smiled up at him.

“Alright, now that the other Dr. Karev is here, are we ready to go up?” Carina asked as she placed her hands on the railing at the end of Jo’s bed.

“Meredith’s still good to take Luna tonight, right?” Jo asked, looking up at Alex as he squeezed her hand.

“Yep, I called her as I was running up, and she said she’d bring Luna up once you're ready for visitors. Then she’ll take her home for the next few days while you and the girls are in the hospital,” Alex assured her as he held Jo’s hand up against his lips and laid a kiss on the back of her hand.

“And she's going to be there too, right?” 

“Yep, she's going to meet us in the OR. Everyone’s there waiting for you.”

Jo nodded, signaling that she was ready to go and Alex helped Carina get Jo prepped to move as he put the hair net over her hair and checked her IV again before they took off the brakes and began to wheel Jo out of the room.

“Are you sure you're okay with all of us being there?” Link asked again as he gripped the railing and helped push the bed down the hall and Amelia walked beside him. 

The plan was for the four of them, including Meredith, to be in the OR. Although Amelia had heard that several other people would be up in the gallery as the whole hospital was eager to see the arrival of the Karev twins.

“Yeah, it's just surgery on my belly. It’s not like you guys are gonna see my vagina,” Jo said with a shrug as Alex and Amelia chuckled while Link turned red. 

As they walked down the hall, Amelia paused for a second, letting go of the bed rail as she clutched her belly. She had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for the past few weeks, but they had ramped up earlier this morning, although she thought they had slowed down. 

“Amelia, are you all right,” Link asked as he paused as well and put his hand on her back, rubbing up and down. 

“Amelia?” Carina's gentle voice reached her ear, but Amelia didn’t respond as her contraction continued. When it finally passed she thought it was all over, until she felt a trickling of wetness run down her thighs. 

“Oh boy,” Amelia said as she looked down to see her scrub pants turn dark as her amniotic fluid stained her pants.

“Your water broke. You’re in labor!” Link excitedly said, almost jumping up and down next to her. 

Jo smiled as she looked over at her and reached out to squeezed Amelia’s hand. “I told you the babies were in sync!” 

“Seriously, you too,” Alex said as he looked between Jo and Amelia. 

“Okay,” Carina said, taking control of the situation. “Amelia, you stay here, and Dr. Link can go get you a wheelchair. I know we planned for either I or Jo to deliver your baby, but it looks like we might have to have someone else. I’ll have a nurse page either Lebeck or Connie.”

“Aww, I wanted to deliver your baby,” Jo said with a frown.

“Not my first choice, but they're nice enough,” Amelia said with a shrug.

“Alright then, hey Jenny, could you please page the on-call OB,” Carina said before she looked back at Amelia. “They’ll get you settled and check on your progress. Then after Jo’s C-section, I'll come to check on you and hopefully be able to deliver your baby.”

“Sounds good,” Amelia said, looking over at Carina with a nod. “Besides, I've done this two times already. I know what I'm doing.”

“Keep us updated though!” Jo insisted, giving Amelia’s hand another squeeze.

“We will,” Link said, as he grabbed a wheelchair from one of the adjacent rooms and helped Amelia sit down. 

They waved Jo off as they continued down the hall before nurse Jenny took them back up to L & D.

“Ready to have a baby?” Link said, smiling down at her as his eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Yep,” Amelia said, smiling as she let his excitement fill her as well. She was so excited to finally have her baby. “Meredith and Maggie are going to be doing a lot of babysitting tonight.”

……………………………………………………………………

Several hours later, Jo was lying in bed with one of the babies on her chest with a newborn blanket covering them. Alex had the other newborn on his chest as he sat on the chair next to her. Her C-section had gone well and both she and the girls were healthy. She had been transferred into the postpartum ward, where she had breastfed them before the three of them took a nap. She had woken up a few hours later as one of the babies was fussing, but now they were doing skin to skin with each girl as they discussed names.

Still, she wasn't surprised when Carina opened the door to see that her new roommates were Link, Amelia, and their newborn baby girl as Link wheeled them into the room. Link had kept her updated on Amelia’s labor which had progressed normally, if not a little faster since it was her third. Yet, Carina had still had time to deliver the twins before going to help Amelia deliver her baby. 

“Hey, you three,” Alex said, smiling up at him.

“Hey, you four,” Amelia said as she looked over at them as Jo and Alex exchanged a smile before they looked down at the babies in their arms.

“Guys meet baby A,” Alex said, gesturing to the little girl in his arms before looking over at the little girl on Jo’s chest. “And baby B.”

Link parked them next to Jo's bed as she moved the blanket back so they could see the little girl resting on her chest. She had the purple hat Helen had knitted, and her sister had the green one as their heads were too big for the hospital hats. Alex moved to sit down at Jo's bedside, and they held the girls next to each other. They looked exactly the same, but they were identical after all. They had the same big heads and round cheeks, although they were both utterly adorable and looked exactly like her. According to Alex, at least although, Jo thought they looked an awful lot like him.

“Still no names yet,” Link said with a laugh as Alex chuckled too and Jo just shrugged.

“At least this one's got a birthmark on the bottom of her foot so we can tell them apart,” Alex said, pulling a little girl’s foot out of the blanket to show them a tiny birthmark on the sole of her heel.

“It looks like Pangea,” Link said as he tilted his head to look at it. 

“That's what I said,” Alex said with a smile as the boys chuckled, and Jo rolled her eyes.

“How are you doing?” Jo asked Amelia as Link and the nurse helped her into the bed.

“Exhausted and tired, but still kind of in awe,” Amelia said as she stared down with a little girl and her arms. “What about you?” 

“Very, very much in awe,” Jo said as she looked down at the little girl on her chest before looking at the little girl in Alex's arms. “And pretty sore, but only a little tired as the three of us just woke up from a nap.”

“Lucky,” Amelia said as Jo giggled.

“We’ll probably take another nap soon, but we have to decide on the names for them first,” Jo said, rubbing her hand up and down her baby’s back. 

“Do you want to know her name?” Amelia asked, transferring the newborn into Link’s arms. 

“Guys meet, Sawyer Carolyn Maureen Shepherd Lincoln,” Link said as he proudly came over and showed them the little newborn who was the spitting image of Amelia with her nose, and chin, and tufts of dark hair. 

“Poor kid is gonna have a great time with the paperwork on that one,” Alex said with a chuckle.

“Alex!” Jo lightheartedly snapped at him as she slapped his arm. “It's a beautiful name.”

“It's okay, he's kind of right. We could barely fit it on the birth certificate,” Amelia said with a shrug as Link came back over and sat in the chair next to the bed.

“What names did you guys have in mind? I know you were throwing around a few,” Link said, peering over at the little girls.

“Yeah, we have a few in mind, but we keep arguing,” Jo said, staring down at the little girl in her arms before adjusting the hat on her head as she thought of the names they had been throwing around. 

“Jo’s still loopy from the drugs. She wanted to name one of them Clover,” Alex said, making a face. 

“It's nice!” Jo insisted as she stared down at the little girl in her arms.

They had both agreed to do flower names as those were the ones they seemed drawn to. They wanted something that would be common but also unique enough that they wouldn’t have kids with the same name in their classes. So far, they had gone through a few names, but nothing seemed to fit. 

“Do we still like Lily?” Alex asked, staring down at the little girl in his arms.

“Lily, I’m getting some Harry Potter vibes there,” Amelia said, raising her eyebrow at him.

Alex just snorted. “Only preteen girls would care about that.”

"Alex, you work with preteen girls,” Jo reminded him with a raised eyebrow. 

He was already making plans to take the twins over to the Ped’s ward to show them off to all of his kids. They were eagerly awaiting the twin’s arrival, if not to poke fun at Alex for being a Dad of three girls.

“Oh yeah,” Alex's eyes went wide as he realized it. “Well, it was a long labor.”

“What are you talking about? My C-section was just an hour long, and all you did was pull them out and cut the cord. I've done all the hard work for the past nine months,” Jo said, glaring at him so hard she almost put him six feet under. 

Alex could tell that he had messed up on that one and gave her a sheepish look. “Sorry Jo, you did do all the hard work and I did nothing. You were amazing.”

Jo accepted his apology as he leaned forward and pressed to kiss to her cheek and her glare lessened. She looked down at her daughter and tried to think of how the name would sound on each of the girls.

“I don't really think either of them are a Lily, besides it's too common,” Jo said, staring down at the little girl in her arms. “I think this one's an Ivy.”

“Yeah,” Alex said, looking down at her, she looked up as their eyes met before they looked down at the little girl in Alex's arms. “What do we think about Rose? She seems like a Rose?”

“I like it,” Jo agreed as she reached out to hold Rose’s hand as her tiny fingers wrapped around Jo's big finger. “Rose Meredith Karev and Ivy Josephine Karev.” 

“My beautiful little flower girls,” Alex said, looking down at the twins before he leaned forward to kiss her.

Eventually, they all settled in, and Alex and Link lined up the bassinets in between their beds, placing the newborns inside of them as they quietly talked and took a few photos. 

Amelia smiled as she looked over at all of the babies. “I can't believe Link dared you into getting pregnant.”

“I can't believe you let him get you pregnant after I dared him back,” Jo said with a smile as they exchanged a laugh.

“Best game of truth or dare ever,” Amelia said as she reached out to where Sawyer's hand had slipped out of the swaddle and she ran her fingers up and down her tiny arm.

“Yeah,” Jo easily agreed as she looked over at her little flower girls before she looked over to see that Amelia had laid her head back in her bed as her eyes closed. 

Jo quickly followed suit as all of the girls got the nap they deserved while the boys looked over their daughters. Who would have thought that they would have ended up with three perfect little girls after getting drunk one night where Jo and Link dared each other to give the other another godchild, but neither Jo nor Amelia were complaining.

……………………………………………………………………

AN: I promised Coco that I would give her twins a while back and I finally did. Also, Jo really jinxes herself with this one. Let me know if you caught all the hints about the twins.

#jo wilson #alex karev #jolex #atticus lincoln #amelia shepherd #amelink #scout shepherd lincoln #luna ashton #grey's anatomy fanfic #grey's anatomy #otp: home and heart #my work #my writing #my fanfiction #luna wilson

[gryfon-spanish-werewolf]

A Sister Like You

Inspired by this post in which Elsa her 8yo self and Anna is her 18yo Frozen 1 age at the same time, AND @themountainsays ‘s tags about how it could make an interesting bastard!Anna au.

Special shout out to @like-redhead-probably and @daughterofhel for your encouragement! And pssst @jabs-wocks this one is much cuter and fluffier, I promise <3

Edit: Ao3 and FF.net

---------------------------------------------------

The king and queen had a terribly kept secret: their firstborn was a bastard.

It was a terribly kept secret because, well, everyone loved her.

Anna of Arendelle was too much like sunshine on a cloudy day for people to hate her. The cooks loved her because she wasn’t a picky eater like her father, and the maids loved her because she always helped mend the sheets she ripped during her playtime. The gardeners and stablemen loved Anna because she talked to the ducklings and horses and goats, and even the flowers weren’t ignored. The people loved her because she was a bright child who walked among the crowds in the market and bought pastries from the local baker with a smile full of missing baby teeth. Anna danced with the town’s children during the festivals and chased after ships until the end of the dock as they set sail.

And perhaps most importantly, her parents loved her - one of blood and one of adoptive heart. They promised to care for the little red-headed baby as their own, regardless of what people said. 

Truly, Anna was a light in the dark, even as a toddler, a fire in the midst of winter during her childhood years, and that warmth only soared to bonfire heat with the birth of the first true princess, her little sister, Elsa.

Anna’s love for Elsa was similarly earned in the way it was passed to her: instantly, freely, and without hesitation.

Elsa was born in the midst of a terrible winter storm that ended as soon as Anna was let into the birthing room. The king was right behind her, kissing his wife’s head sweetly as they peered down at their second daughter. The question was asked if Anna wanted to hold her little sister and Anna nodded furiously, already getting a leg up on the bed. They laid Elsa in her arms and Anna's eyes filled with wonder at the tiny bundle. She sat completely frozen, not wanting to move or change her position lest she disturb Elsa. The babe fussed and grabbed Anna’s small finger in an even smaller fist. Everyone in the room fawned over the action.

“She’ll be queen, right?” The king and queen exchanged a glance, hesitant. Anna had not seemed put out by the fact that she would never officially rule, but she was only ten, and they weren’t sure if that would always be the case.

The king cleared his throat. “Yes, darling. She will.”

Anna looked back down at her baby sister. Looked at her like she was her whole world. Elsa hiccupped a little and Anna smiled her blinding smile.

“I can’t wait,” she said, wiggling her trapped finger back and forth so Elsa turned towards the motion. “She’s gonna be great! And I’m gonna help her!”

The mood shifted instantly and everyone relaxed, rejoicing. Elsa’s forehead wrinkled at all the noise and she began to wail until Anna soothed her, shushing all the adults with a serious tone. They did, but not without some laughter.

And then Elsa sneezed.

Frost dusted Anna’s twin braids and bangs. She blinked. Everyone stared in complete shock. A small snowflake fell delicately from nowhere to land on the tip of Anna’s nose. In her arms, Elsa made little noises of satisfaction and nestled herself further into Anna’s hands before falling asleep.

“I take it back,” Anna whispered excitedly while the room found their tongues. “She’s going to be the best!”

-------------

In the middle of the night, Anna crept through the darkened hallways of Arendelle castle, easing the door of her parents’ room open. She lifted, with some effort, the door from the bottom with her toe so it wouldn’t squeak and give her away. She closed it just the same, sidling over to the crib along the far wall. Voices came from the opposite side of the room, in the connected bathroom.

They were arguing. Again.

She couldn’t remember them arguing when she was little, but Anna wasn’t sure that was because they hadn’t, or because they’d not had a reason to.

Because now they were always arguing about Elsa.

Anna dragged the stepstool up to the side of the crib. Elsa was deeply asleep, mumbling vague syllables as Anna rocked her bed gently with her knee. Half a year had passed and Elsa kept getting bigger everyday. Her hair was growing out, her cheeks were soft and pudgy (“Just like yours!” The staff would often remind Anna), and she had started to laugh and laugh and laugh at all of Anna’s antics. Anna was utterly enchanted by her, her little sister was genuine magic.

And of course, Elsa was literally magic, too.

Raised voices rebounded around the walls as the king and queen found new ground to battle over. Anna saw Elsa’s lower lip wobble and put her hand down into the crib so Elsa could hold it. With her other hand she touched the bandages around her head.

“It’s okay,” Anna murmured, “I know it was an accident.”

They’d been playing Peek-a-Boo.

Anna had surprised Elsa for the hundredth time with a joyful, “Here I am!”, only this time Elsa had placed her hand on Anna’s temple as she giggled and there was a flash of white. The next thing Anna knew she was on horseback, jostled back and forth in the king’s lap. They rode hard, to a clearing she didn’t recognize. Creatures rolled out of the mist and popped open, revealing themselves to be trolls. Anna would have been excited under normal circumstances, but the looks on the king and queen’s faces, and the fact that Elsa was crying her tiny lungs out, had her clamping down on any questions.

The adults talked, human and troll alike, but Anna was having a hard time paying attention. Elsa was so far away, upset, and she couldn’t reach her. Her body felt stiff and cold, especially her head. She couldn’t stop shivering. One of the trolls saw her reach out from the king’s arms and told everyone that Anna was awake.

The old troll informed her gravely that her life was in danger, that Elsa’s power would only continue to grow. He showed her images with his magic: a figure in blue turning water to ice, then being pounced upon by figures in red. They were beautiful, and frightening, making Anna’s heart pound sluggishly in her chest. The queen and king said the troll could do whatever he needed to save Anna’s life and protect Elsa from such a fate. The troll approached Anna, with more magic shining in his rocky palm, and said that everything would be fine, that it was just her head and not her heart. He chuckled humorously.

“Much better to lose a few memories than your life.”

Anna refused.

The adults sputtered.

“Will I remember Elsa?”

“Yes, of course but-”

“Will I remember her magic?”

“The magic is what did the damage, and to remove it I would remove-”

“Then no.”

And she wouldn’t hear it any other way, even as her body grew colder and the vision on her right fractured and split. A frozen headache pulsed at her temple, spreading rapidly across her skull. Still, Anna sought out the sound of Elsa’s voice, even though others were getting in the way. She couldn’t tell who was who. Some of them wanted the troll to do it anyway, that Anna was just a child, only ten, and didn’t know better. Some wanted Anna’s wishes to be respected, that perhaps there was another way. Even more worried about the future, the kingdom, what it might mean to have a queen with powers… or a bastard without memories of them.

What were the consequences of hiding Elsa’s powers from the public? What were the repercussions of making the same mistake over and over, if Anna was literally unable to remember the danger?

So many questions, so many voices.

All of them wanted her to live.

Anna took air into small lungs embedded with ice shards, speaking softly but clearly even as fatigue stole over her.

“Elsa’s powers are a part of her. Forgetting them means I’m forgetting part of Elsa. I don’t want that. How can I help her if I don’t know her?”

--

When Anna next awoke she was in her room back at the castle, wrapped solidly in blankets. Summer sunlight filtered through the curtains, bright and cheerful. She thought perhaps it had all been a dream, and she’d been allowed a rare day to sleep in.

In fact here was Gerda, thankfully with breakfast, walking through the door. Anna sat up to make space and shot her a cheerful, “Good morning!”

Gerda dropped everything she was carrying in one huge clatter and rushed to Anna’s side, burying her in a deep hug.

“Oh, my little Princess!” She always called Anna that, even though she wasn’t really. “We thought we were going to lose you!”

Anna went to protest but spied her reflection in the mirror over Gerda’s shoulder. Her hair was it’s usual post-slumber mess, but this time instead of it being held away from her face by sheer luck, it was by bandages.

Gerda set about getting her dressed and fed and ready for the day. She did Anna’s hair last of all, delicately peeling away the strips of cloth. It hurt a little, but not too bad. Anna wasn’t sure what she expected to see as the source of the pain, but that wasn’t it.

“Did I get some of the powdered sugar in my hair?” She asked.

Gerda looked sad, gazing at Anna through her reflection. “No my dear, that’s…” She paused, deliberating. Anna touched the white streak at her temple, following it back where it disappeared behind her ear.

“I don’t know all the details,” Gerda finally continued, “but I’m told you were very brave.”

Anna watched Gerda comb the white streak into her braid and remembered.

And to her everlasting relief… she remembered everything.

-------------

Anna and Elsa grew up, little by little, leap by leap. Space was cleared out in Anna’s room for Elsa’s bed and things, but by that time they were already inseparable. From the moment Elsa could walk she followed Anna everywhere. Laughter was common, and anyone in the castle who caught an earful of it drifting and caterwauling through the halls always gave a smile. Unless it was followed by the sound of something breaking, then it was usually a kickstart to a sprint.

As Anna edged into her teenage years things got… a little silly. Now at ages fifteen and five, the girls could get into all kinds of mischief. Nothing terrible of course, mostly playing knights in the hallways with the armor and freezing their tutor’s inkwell after a particularly difficult day of study. But then of course, there was the time Elsa made sleeping versions of them to fool people into thinking they were tucked away for the night, only to get caught sneaking into the fjord waters for a late night swim. Or the time Anna pretended Elsa was sick and was only taking requests through the door - requests that included chocolate cake, chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate (in summer), chocolate mousse…

The future that the king and queen feared never came to pass; Elsa’s powers indeed grew as she did, but they were tempered with the practice that came along with frequent use, namely entertaining herself and her older sister. Anna never got tired of watching Elsa, “Do the magic,” and Elsa never got tired showing her.

Anna’s sunny disposition never wavered even when others thought it might, when, despite their closeness, familial bonds, and education, Anna’s status as an out of wedlock child started to become more frequently pronounced. If anything, Elsa took more offense to her sister being addressed as, “Lady Anna,” while she got “Princess Elsa”, than Anna ever did.

“But you are a princess!” Elsa protested one night. They were both in their respective beds, across from each other, flat on their backs as they watched the hues of the Northern Lights waver over their ceiling.

“I’m technically half adopted,” Anna clarified.

“What does that mean?”

“It means one of our parents isn’t my flesh and blood parent, even though I call them Mama and Papa just like you do.”

“That’s so weird,” and Anna could hear Elsa’s frown from her side of the room. “Which one?”

Anna shrugged. “I dunno. It’s not like I haven’t wondered, but it just, never seemed to matter enough to ask.”

“I could ask.”

“No, sweetheart, you don’t have to.”

“But I wanna know!”

Anna sighed. She watched the lights dance a moment before saying, “I don’t.”

“Oh…” Elsa went quiet. “Can I ask why?”

“Sure you can.”

A few seconds passed before Elsa huffed irritably and Anna grinned in the dark. “Why don't you want to know?”

“I want to be mysterious,” Anna teased.

“Anna!”

“What? If you get to be queen, then I want to be the spooky, strange older sibling!”

She expected a laugh but was met with silence.

“...Did you wanna be queen?”

Anna opened her mouth to reply how she always did, but stopped. This was her sister, not some dignitary in a hushed tone or some drink toting duchess at a dinner party. She deserved a real answer.

“No,” Anna said finally, “not really anyway. Even when I was little I didn’t dream of holding Papa’s scepter or wearing Mama’s crown. I felt like that was their thing, and you had your thing! And I was… am, happy just being me.”

“Is that because you really never thought about it, or because someone told you it would never be yours?”

Anna’s brows knit together and she sat up quickly. “Hey,” she smirked, “who said you could be a five-year-old philosopher?”

“Sorry!” Elsa sat up too, her arms hugging her bed sheet covered legs. “I just think you’d be really good at it!”

“Good at it?” Elsa nodded, the Lights roaming through her hair. “What makes you say that?”

“Well…,” Elsa began rolling her hands in a circular motion. A small ball of twinkling snow appeared between her hands, rotating gently. She did this whenever she was thinking. “You’re smart and patient and kind. You’re always explaining things to me, and telling me stories. You help me when I’m mad at my homework or miss a stitch while sewing. You’re always thinking of new games to play, you read me books and take me out into the town for a day of fun! And you always save some of your peas from dinner for the ducks in the pond. You claim it’s because you hate vegetables but really it’s because you know it’s their favorite snack.

“But as much as you teach,” Elsa continued, the snowball spinning and sparking, “you also listen. You know everybody in the whole castle’s birthday. A sailor told you that he always missed the baker’s lun epleterte when he was out at sea, and now the baker always has extra when he sees that ship come home. Kai mentioned once that his favorite flowers hadn’t bloomed yet in the garden so you staked out the hedge for weeks. The moment they bloomed you ran to go find him, a few flowers already in your hands. You’re very-,” Elsa paused, her hands stopping too. Her lips twitched in annoyance. “I don’t know the word. But you know people and you care about them, and I think that would make you a great queen.”

The little snowball shrunk and disappeared, returning the room to the flickering patterns of pinks, blues, and greens of the Lights. Anna propped her head and elbow up on her thigh. “Hmm, I suppose you’re right. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m not really interested, and even if I were, I still couldn’t.”

Elsa waved her hand dismissively. “When I’m queen I’ll just make you queen too.”

Anna scoffed, though not without humor. “That’s not how it works.”

“Says who? I’ll be queen! Who’s gonna say no?” Elsa barreled on, not waiting for Anna’s response. “It’ll be perfect: I’ll be Queen, you’ll be Royal-Big-Sister-Queen, and then you and I can both do whatever we want! We’ll be perfect together!”

“‘Royal-Big-Sister-Queen’? That’s not a thing.”

“It will be,” Elsa replied confidently. Anna exhaled heavily, a smile on her lips. Elsa noticed her lack of enthusiasm. “Okay, I’ll work on a better title but…, I just don’t want people thinking that you’re not part of my family.”

Anna’s eyes softened. “C’mere you.”

Elsa kicked off her covers, grabbed the stuffed penguin Anna had made for her fourth birthday, and ran on bare feet to Anna’s bedside. She lifted her arms and Anna picked her up, nestling her close. “It will never matter what other people say about me, because I know that the family that chose me, and that I choose right back everyday, loves me very much, and just wants me to be happy.”

Anna ran her pinkie softly down the bridge of Elsa’s nose. Her little sister blinked drowsily when Anna did it again. “What do you think about that?” She asked quietly.

“I think… you’re my best friend-older sister,” Elsa said softly as sleep dragged at her, “who tries to put her cold feet on my back when we sleep together, always forgetting that I can’t feel the cold.”

Anna chuckled low in her chest. “And I think you are my sweet-but-silly little sister,” she replied, tweaking Elsa’s nose which made her giggle, “who is always stealing the blankets despite claiming she’s never cold, leaving me to freeze to death.”

Elsa cuddled closer to Anna, yawning fiercely. “I promise I’ll share them tonight. Pre-Queen’s honor.”

Anna put a hand to her chest. “That’s a big promise, your Almost-Majesty. How do you know you’ll keep it?”

Elsa already had her eyes closed and her head on Anna’s pillow. “Because I love you.”

Anna smiled warmly. She scooched lower and drew the covers up over her shoulder, planting a kiss on Elsa’s forehead as she got settled.

“I love you too. And I still will, even when I wake up tomorrow and all the covers are on your side of the bed.”

-------------

Elsa never did come up with a better title for Anna’s rise to royalty. Not that she didn’t have time; to most people three years is quite the span, but for children and young adults it may well have been the blink of an eye. And it certainly felt like no time at all when Kai knocked on their door, parchment in hand and tears in his eyes, to deliver the news that their parents had died at sea.

Anna was eighteen, and Elsa, heir to the throne, only eight.

The funeral was delayed until proper mourning attire could be fashioned for such young women. The headstones were grand but simple. After the rain and the prayers, Anna and Elsa walked back to their room, silent. Anna worked on autopilot: helping Elsa disrobe, comb out her hair, put her in sleepwear. Until she felt the ghost of a memory, not long past, of her hugging the queen and king around the waist, expressing her wish to see them soon. The last time she’d ever touched them.

She heard Elsa sniffle beneath her hand, and caught sight of their reflection in the mirror. Tears dripped out of red-rimmed eyes as Elsa’s hard fought composure (already so heavy for a child) fell apart at Anna’s momentary lapse in normality. Then they were holding each other close, fingers digging into clothing and faces pressed close together.

They slept in the same bed for months.

But during that time an uncomfortable question arose. One that, out of respect for tradition, should have waited, but realistically speaking, couldn’t.

Who was in charge now?

Obviously no one expected an eight-year-old to be officially running a country, especially since her Coronation Day was over a decade away. And while Elsa had already Ascended to ruling status, legally she wasn’t making the rules, and it couldn’t be advisors forever. Especially not after the period of mourning, which at max placed Elsa at twelve. She would be involved in ongoing diplomatic and national matters of course, as she would have been anyway, though now to a larger degree, but the fact of the matter was that Elsa was a child.

She still had a bedtime.

And it couldn’t be Anna… could it? She had the training, the disposition. Even if she’d never desired it personally, could she be persuaded to step up, even if it was, in the end, invisibly? The advisors knew that generally speaking, the people of Arendelle would not turn their backs on Anna being their ruler in Elsa’s place, but politically, they felt the pressure of putting the correct outward face on their country.

Anna walked past two advisors, picking holes in the same arguments she’d heard for weeks, and closed her ears to it all. If they --the crown, the staff, the castle-- needed her help, she’d do it in a heartbeat, but right now, she was more concerned with the remaining family she had left.

Namely, finding her before her upcoming royal duties.

They were starting slow. A few of the old guardsmen had retired, and today was their replacement’s first day on the job. Elsa, as queen, was supposed to formally greet them and thank them for their service. Fairly straightforward, all things considered, but Anna had seemingly lost track of Elsa after breakfast and between a few meetings of her own, and now was looking for her little sister.

Well, she was pretending to look. Anna knew exactly where to find her sister, but she gathered that, with all the fuss over dress and ceremony, Elsa may want just a few extra seconds to be alone, not being touched by people’s hands or her hair pulled by combs or set in tight braids and buns along her head.

But they couldn’t delay forever. Anna tapped a special rhythm on the door to their room, hearing a muted, “Come in!” from the other side.

As she entered, Anna’s breath caught in her throat.

Elsa was dressed like, well…

She looked just like Mama.

“Gerda says if I keep my steps high, I won’t trip on my cape,” Elsa said, spinning to show off the purple floor length cape. “But I can’t walk normally if I do that, I look like a puffed up frog!”

A little tiara nestled in her snow-blonde hair bounced light around the room as Elsa shifted. A fleck caught in Anna’s eye and she blinked harshly, bringing her back to the moment.

“Good thing you only have to walk a few feet,” Anna agreed, closing the door behind her and striding up to her sister. “You’ll be the best dressed frog in the room.”

Elsa folded her arms and scowled, looking very queenly indeed. “I’m surprised you’re the one saying that, considering what you’re wearing today,” and she gestured up and down at her sister.

It was true, Anna was wearing a dress that was almost entirely green from top to bottom, excluding the bodice which was black. The pleats of her skirt were alternating shades of green, the only spots of color otherwise being the rosemaling against the black silk on her chest and abdomen. Anna looked down then back up, and grinned. “I guess you’re right. You’ll have to teach me how to walk then. Does it look something like this?”

She marched dramatically in place, all high knees and right angled elbows, a look of comic determination on her face. To her delight, and relief, Elsa burst into giggles. She held her two gloved hands up in front of her mouth.

That was the Elsa she knew.

“You’re going to embarrass me, Anna,” Elsa laughed.

“Lucky for me, that’s the older sibling’s job.” Anna put her hands on her hips. “Ready to go?”

Elsa’s smile dropped, looking down at her outfit. “I look like I am.”

Anna crouched down to be level with Elsa. “You certainly do,” she said softly. “You look beautiful. But I asked if you were ready.” Elsa didn’t meet her eye, instead fidgeting with her hands and wringing the soft blue leather of her gloves.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be,” Elsa confessed, downcast.

Anna acknowledged that with a little hum. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not for a long time. But I think that’s okay too, it just means you’re still willing to learn. And you know, you’re not alone. You’ve got Kai and Gerda and all the staff, you’ve got the tutors and experts and all the other adults that know what to do. And, you know,” Anna shrugged, “you’ve got me, too. So I’m pretty sure it won’t be a complete disaster.”

Elsa looked up. “Really?”

“Positive,” Anna winked. She pinched her pointer finger and thumb close together. “Just a little one.”

Elsa laughed again and shoved Anna’s hand away. “Okay, okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

“After you,” Anna said grandly, opening the door wide for Elsa with a sweeping bow. Elsa shook her head, then squared her shoulders and tilted her chin back, adopting the posture she’d learned over many lessons of how to walk like a queen. Anna sheltered the little spark of pride inside her heart, and the flicker of sadness that came along with it.

They started to make their way down the long hall, Anna a step behind to Elsa’s right, as was expected. As they neared the halfway point, Elsa’s pace slowed, and Anna noticed immediately.

She tapped Elsa on the shoulder and gently took her hand.

Elsa glanced ahead and behind furtively. “I… shouldn’t.”

“I know but, you don’t have to be ‘Queen-queen’ until we turn that corner, so…” Anna ran her thumb across the back of Elsa’s gloved hand, “You can keep holding my hand until then.”

Elsa squeezed back. “And after that? Where will you be?”

Anna beamed.

“Right next to you. And after that? Wherever you need me to be.”

#I've always had some THOUGHTS^TM about Anna being awake during the scene where her memories are changed in F1 #I am nearly 100% certain that if Anna thought losing her memories of Elsa's magic #was the safest option for ELSA then she would agree #but that's a HUGE thing to convince someone #I really believe that if Anna had a choice she'd want to remember - even if maybe the damage took longer to heal #so that's why that part is in there lol #but otherwise this was just me being like 'omg Anna's older and she's gonna be the BEST older sister ever' #cuz she's already sunshine and now she gets to be sunshine for every second of Elsa's life #childhood separation? I don't know her #the sisters allowed to be together to process their greatest joys and deepest griefs? now THAT I can get behind #themountainsays #like-redhead-probably #daughterofhel #bastard!Anna au #A Sister Like You #yes the title is an intentional nod to 'A Sister More Like Me' #because that book is super cute and charming <3 and that was the goal of a few scenes in this one #fairly confident I succeeded: /I/ was certainly smiling and laughing writing it #Little Elsa #Anna #King Agnarr #Queen Iduna #Kai #Gerda #Trolls #F1 canon divergent #my writing #fan fic #story

[hedwigstalons]

High Expectations - Ch15

Yup, this beast is still going and still growing.  Life sapped my energy so it has been a lot longer between updates than I would have liked but I’ve been experimenting with writing out of sequence to make use of whatever creativity I can grasp.  The plus side of this is that ch16 is in the editing stages and ch17 is also half written.  But anyway....it’s taken a while but here is ch15 in the saga that has become affectionately termed ‘Bad Jeff’.

@willow-salix has been wonderful at helping be fix the plot holes and pick out the parts where I contradicted myself.  I now have a proper timeline though (funky multicoloured spreadsheet and everything) so I shouldn’t tie myself in knots so much with the boys ages and milestones.

Earlier parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen

AO3 chapter link

Chapter Fifteen

The incoming call notification had Virgil scrambling for his phone, fumbling with the handset while trying to swipe a call accept icon that suddenly seemed too small and fiddly to be practical.  It took him three hasty attempts before managing to complete the action correctly, allowing him to finally speak to the brother who had been frustratingly out of contact.  Scott had been in LA for three days and Virgil was now desperate for news but he had promised he wouldn’t interfere lest he call at the wrong moment and inflame matters further.  It had been a nail-biting wait, forcing himself to be patient and trust Scott to call when he could.

“Scott, how is it?”  It took him a moment to register that the face on the screen wasn’t Scott’s despite what the caller ID proclaimed.  “Gordon?”  He was surprised to see a younger brother rather than an older one.

“Don’t sound so pleased to see me.”  There was an air of the old teasing Gordon making a slow return.

“Sorry.   Of course I’m pleased to see you,” and he genuinely was, the face that looked back at him was still too thin and pale for comfort but the hair was clean again and the eyes had lost their haunted glaze, “I just wasn’t expecting it.  Where’s Scott?”

“He’s here too.”  The scene on Virgil’s screen shifted quickly as the handset at the other end was spun round to reveal its rightful owner who gave a little wave.  “He said he was going to call you so I asked if I could go first.”

“Well, how are you?”

“I’m....okay.”  Virgil had made him promise in the past not to lie about how he was feeling, it was one of the reasons he had been pulling away; it didn’t count as lying if you just omitted the truth.  “It’s been a strange few days.”

“I’ll bet.”

“For a start I’ve found out that flyboy over there gets ever so twitchy if anyone else is at the controls of a plane.  You’d best hope you never have to take him as a passenger in that bumble bee of yours if it ever gets off the drawing board.  Or was it more like a turtle, that beast was green wasn’t it?”  The look of fear that crossed Virgil’s face would have been comical if it wasn’t so genuine and Gordon was given the sudden reminder that, as far as Virgil was concerned, he wasn’t meant to know about their father’s vision.  He was quick with his reassurances.  “It’s okay, Dad told me about his rescue plans”

“He still won’t tell Alan though” Scott called out from across the room, “Dad has taken him out to fetch ice cream so we can talk freely for a few minutes.”

“Ice cream?”

“Yeah,  I think he’s just trying to cover some of his own guilt.  He’s still no Dad of the year though.”  Scott's tone was derisive and Virgil could tell that tensions must still be running high.  “He’s going to have to tell him sooner or later, he can’t just spring it on the kid that he is being dragged out of school and shunted across the world when the island move happens.”

“What, you mean like he gave us time to prepare for the move to LA?”  Gordon snorted.  “I don’t know about you guys but me and Alan didn’t exactly get much warning when we left Kansas.”

This surprised the older two who had known all about the plan, the many arguments were etched in their memories.  In this case the problem child had been John.  Scott had been making the transition from university to the Air Force and Virgil had been busy preparing for his studies at Denver but John had been on a path that didn’t align with their father’s business plans.  The fifteen year old, with a coveted place at Harvard nearly in his grasp, had begged to stay so he could finish high school without interruptions; he had worked hard to stay two grades ahead of the curve and an inter-state move could undo it all.  Of course letting John live alone had been out of the question, and Jeff had not been prepared to delay the move, leading to  flares of temper and defiance that none of them had realised the middle child was capable of.  It was only when Grandma stepped in, offering to return from New Mexico to become custodian of the farm and care for John during that final year that their father relented.  With all of the concerns over John and his university dreams it hadn’t occurred to either of them that the youngest two hadn’t been told about the move.  Evidently their father’s policy of ‘need to know’ was long running. 

“Don’t worry Gords, Scott and I will make sure that Alan gets told.  If Dad’s idea happens, and knowing Dad it probably will, Alan won’t just have another move sprung on him.  I promise.”  There was sincere honesty in those deep brown eyes and Gordon gave a subtle nod of thanks.  “So tell me everything that has been happening over the last few days.”

Gordon recounted everything that had happened since Scott’s arrival, prompted by said older brother if he missed anything out.  Virgil winced at the revelations.  Even with the sanitised highlights he could tell that the last few days had been an emotional rollercoaster.  In some cases the revelations were beyond his worst fears and he couldn’t help feeling proud of his little brother who had been living through harder circumstances than any of them had imagined.

“Which brings us to today,” Gordon brought the tale up to the present, “Dad’s decided I need to learn to fly seeing as this island he’s chosen isn’t exactly on the commercial air routes.  Alan’s going to start learning too; Dad wasn’t happy about that idea but Scott reminded him that he started learning at Alan’s age.  You should have seen him up there, Alan is an absolute natural.”  Gordon’s voice glowed with pride at the achievements of his little brother.

“You didn’t do badly yourself” Scott cut in from across the room.

“So why were your knuckles white the whole time?”

“Hey, as you said, I just like being the one in control.  It was no different when Dad was piloting and he’s clocked up more flight hours than the rest of us put together.”

“I can just imagine it” Virgil snorted, “you should’ve seen him supervising John when he was learning to drive.”

Gordon glanced across at Scott who had visibly paled at the memory, before turning his attention back to Virgil. “So yeah, I’ve now got to fit in pilot training and exams around getting back up to strength for WASP selection.”

“And WASP is definitely what you want?  You aren’t just going along with it so you can get away from Dad?  I know you’ll be able to do it, but please don’t enlist unless you’re really sure.”

Gordon wasn’t sure if that was the concerned older brother or the family pacifist speaking; WASP was still military after all and Virgil had made no secrets of his thoughts in that direction.  But equally Virgil knew how stubborn he was and how he would never back down from a challenge and had managed to resolve his difference with Scott over the Air Force so he chalked the questions up to brotherly concern.

“Yeah, I’m sure.  It’s a good life Virg, something I can really make a career out of and the opportunities for officers…”

“Officer?” This definitely surprised the distant sibling.  The widened eyes elicited a slight blush from Gordon.

“Um, yeah, that was Scott’s idea.”  He was still having a little trouble reconciling himself to the notion that he was cut out to lead.  

“Not just my idea” said brother called out from his perch on the bed, “the Marineville lot wanted to transfer you to officer training too.  This time round you’ll just be applying for the officer steam from the beginning.”

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,”  Gordon shot Scott a glare of mock indignation, earning a chuckle from Virgil “it’s a good life.  And yes, this time I’ll be trying out as an officer.  I’ll have to redo the aptitude tests, different benchmarks and all that, but we’ve been looking into it and my scores were already at the right level.  There’s just one additional aptitude test for officers that I never took before.  I’ve tried an online practice test and did ok so I should be alright.  I’m booked in to take it for real in a fortnight.  After that it’s selection at Marineville again and then hopefully I’m in.  It’ll take a few months but by the summer I should have my first posting.  The officer intakes don’t happen as frequently as junior ranks so I’ve got time to train.”

“You seem to have it all mapped out and not a college course in sight.”

“Nope.  Thanks, both of you.  It’s...it’s been a hard few months and I couldn’t see a way out of it all.”

There was a noticeable slump in Gordon’s posture and the light went out of his eyes as the memories of his recent trials flooded back in.  It broke Virgil’s heart to see how on a knife edge his brother still was and he knew he and Scott would need to keep a close eye on their younger sibling for a long while yet.  At least Gordon had a goal to work towards again; they both knew his steely determination and drive to succeed. Once he had set his sights on a challenge nothing would stop him, the Olympics had proved that.

“Any time.  And don’t be a stranger.  If Dad starts getting on your case again or you just need to talk to someone you know where I am.  I’ve been told my couch is pretty comfy too if this new schedule of training and flying lessons allows you any time off.”

“Admit it, you just want me back for my cooking” Gordon smirked.

“Maybe…” Virgil gave his best puppy dog eyes, eliciting a chuckle from both his brothers.

Any further chatter was interrupted by the sound of the apartment door crashing open, announcing the return of Jeff and Alan from the grocery store, followed by Alan’s shouts that if they didn’t get out there quick there would be no chocolate chip left for them.  Both knew better than to treat this as an idle threat so with a hurried goodbye to Virgil they departed to claim their portions.

 xoxoxox

Life soon settled into a new routine.  Jeff still rarely made it back for dinner, they couldn’t expect miracles over night, but he was getting better at being home before Alan went to bed at least.  Gordon suspected that had something to do with the ‘discussion’ Scott had with Jeff the night before he returned to his Air Force base.  The voices that drifted through the firmly shut study door had shown a flare of temper from both sides and Gordon had been grateful Alan was already in bed and so not around to witness the argument.  It was just as well Tracys were good at putting on a front, by the morning of Scott’s departure the tension had been firmly suppressed and Alan had been able to say goodbye to his eldest brother without any hint of bad feeling spoiling the moment. 

Where life before the Olympics had been a mix of school and swimming, so life for Gordon going forwards became a mix of physical training and flight theory with time in the air thrown in at the weekends.   He passed the WASP officer aptitude test easily enough but the next available selection course date wasn’t until after his birthday, leaving him with several months to focus on gaining the appropriate endorsements on his pilot’s licence to allow him to transport himself to and from his father’s intended island base.  

Gordon wasn’t bad at flying but he didn’t possess the raw natural talent of his youngest sibling.  He was competent and thorough with a steady hand but he couldn’t miss the looks of pride Jeff directed towards Alan as yet again the youngest of the family performed a manoeuvre as if he had been at the control yoke since birth.  It didn’t stop at looks either, all too often Gordon found himself on the receiving end of an unfavourable comparison only this time it was against his younger brother as opposed to his older ones and the arena was cockpit rather than classroom performance.  Evidently, for Jeff, old habits were hard to quell.

This time though Gordon wasn’t facing his troubles alone.  Scott would check in with him occasionally until an overseas posting took him out of contact but Virgil was his real lifeline.  Virgil made sure there was never more than a week between calls and often the gaps were smaller if he sensed Gordon slipping back and becoming more distant.  The brother who had taken on the role of counselor seemed to have an uncanny intuition when it came to Gordon’s mood.   

The extended time around his father however was still proving difficult and Gordon found himself eagerly boarding a flight to Denver to catch a much needed break.

As ever, Virgil was there to meet him at the airport.

“Good flight?”

“It was ok.”

“Not tempted to crash the cockpit then?”

Gordon just rolled his eyes and carried on out to the taxi ranks.  To his surprise though Virgil directed the cab to take them to the smaller private airfield out of town rather than the apartment.

“Sorry Gords” he got in response to his querying look.  “You know Dad said you gotta keep up your air time and this was the only runway slot I could get.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the deal.”  One of the conditions of a weekend with Virgil was that he got some time in the sky to make up for the lesson he was missing with his father.  “Are you alright with me taking up your baby?”

“I trust you” Virgil shrugged.  He wasn’t quite as in love with and overprotective of his plane as Scott was of his, but neither was he going to let on to Gordon that he had had a long and in depth discussion with their father about Gordon’s ability and competence before he had agreed to help with Gordon’s pilot education.

Gordon always thought it odd that Virgil had a plane but didn’t bother to run his own car, although the longer he spent in the air the more he could see the appeal.  Scott of course had always loved flight and it was no surprise to anyone that a big proportion of his allowance went on maintaining a craft that screamed billionaire playboy.  Virgil’s choice was more subtle and practical, if operating your own private plane counted as practical; perfect for hopping around the country from his central base in Denver to visit family on his own schedule.  Despite also being in possession of big enough allowance to afford it John had neither car nor plane having declared that flying commercial was much more sensible for his main coast to coast journey and he wasn’t one for pleasure flying; he was much more interested in what lay outside the atmosphere, far beyond the reach of a mere plane.

At the airfield Virgil maneuvered his little hopper out of the hanger he stored her in and then passed control over to Gordon.

“Go on then, show me what you can do” Virgil prompted after giving Gordon a quick rundown of the specific take off speed and other essential details he would need to operate the plane safely.  He settled back in the co-pilot's chair, exuding a calm confidence despite itching to keep his hands on the controls; Gordon might be his brother and Jeff had given assurances that all would be well but Virgil was still uncomfortably aware that he has supervising an unlicensed novice pilot.  

His fears were soon dispelled once Gordon started going through the motions in textbook fashion including performing his own pre-flight checks despite having watched those same checks being performed just a few minutes earlier.  A short burst down the runway and they were up in the air.  It wasn’t graceful and Gordon lacked the finesse that came with experience but Virgil was pleasantly surprised at the amount of  progress Gordon had made in such a short space of time.

The problem with flying though is that unless you are practicing something like aerobatics then just keeping a plane in the air is actually pretty easy, it’s the take off and landing that takes skill.  They weren’t making a journey so there was no real navigation to do beyond avoiding the restricted airspace and corridors used by the commercial flights and the weather was clear so flying by instruments was unnecessary.  All in all it was a thoroughly untaxing lesson, allowing them to relax and enjoy the time together.

“So how’s your project going?” Gordon asked as he banked to avoid flying directly over a village.

“It’s okay.  I’m on track to be done by the summer.”

“What will you do after that?  Move back to LA or stay out here?”

“Neither, hopefully.”  Gordon gave his brother a questioning glance of surprise.  “Got to get space rated for Dad’s project.  Me and John’ll be heading out to Tracy College for that, just waiting for confirmation of a course place.”

“Space rated?”  He had realised John would need to undergo astronaut training in preparation for life on a space station but most of the project specifics were still a mystery to him.

“Yeah.  Someone’s got to be able to play taxi service for John and I might need to take a rotation on call monitoring; he can’t live off planet forever.”

“Sounds like plans are really coming together for it.  Does this mean Scott will need to get space rated at Tracy College too?”

“Scott…”  There was a heavy pause and Gordon took his eye off the sky to regard his brother.  Virgil’s brow had furrowed into a frown and when he spoke again there was a heaviness that told of hidden arguments.  “Scott isn’t joining, he’s sticking to the Air Force.”

This surprised Gordon.  In the few conversations he had had with his father about the project, usually confined to a cockpit where Alan couldn’t overhear, Scott was talked about like Virgil was, as a committed member of the team. His role as first responder and pilot of the envisioned rocket plane had been presented in terms of undisputed fact.  No wonder the topic made Virgil look stormy, he was a peacemaker and if Scott wasn’t fitting in with their father’s vision Gordon could imagine that the arguments had been many and explosive.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.  Oh.”

“So what’s going to happen there?  Surely you can’t manage with just the three of you?”

“I don’t know.  I’d like to think there is a contingency plan but Dad seems so sure Scott’s going to change his mind and do it.  They’re both as stubborn as mules though and neither wants to give up their dream.  It’s a good project, the tech looks amazing and we could really save lives.  I can see Scott’s point though, he’s made a life for himself away from Dad and, well, you know yourself what Dad can be like for giving orders.”

Gordon knew all too well what it felt like to be on the receiving end of those orders, particularly when they were at odds with your own plans.  At least Scott had the advantage of physical distance as a buffer to the disapproval and if push came to shove, if Jeff cut Scott off as punishment, the Air Force pay was enough to live on even if it meant Scott had to change his lifestyle to suit the lower budget.

Gordon made the final approach back towards the airfield, diverting the full attention of both brothers to monitoring the landing.  As with the take off it wasn’t polished and it wasn’t pretty but it was safe and Virgil found himself once again admiring just how far his brother had come in such a short space of time.  He wondered if, given time, Gordon would join the team.  Jeff hadn’t made any mention of Gordon taking on a role in the rescue organisation, even if he was now allowed to know of its existence, but there was no denying that having an extra pilot on books could only be a good thing.  Maybe one day he and Gordon would fly together, the more time he spent with his brother the more he enjoyed the company although, Virgil reflected, if they were to fly as a team he would be happier if Gordon took the co-pilot’s position.

With the plane back on the ground and safely returned to her berth in the hangers Virgil pushed all thoughts of Gordon joining the rescue business out of his mind; unless their father issued the instruction there was no point even considering the option.  And anyway, Gordon was heading off to the military like Scott had so who knew if he would even want to join the project.  Better to just let their father know that the required flying lesson had gone without a hitch then settle back to enjoy the weekend. 

#High Expectations #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Gordon Tracy #Jeff Tracy #Virgil Tracy #Scott Tracy #brothers looking out for each other #military careers

[caramelohaechan]

Wonderland ~ High Tide Ep. 3 (C. San)

the very anticipated (not by that many but very special people!) // personally, i like this one, but not as much as nightmare // i tried to edit my best but every day my vision gets worse! for just 50 cents--

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Character Guide // Episode One // Episode Two

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Fandom: Ateez

Genre: romance/ action

Warning(s): pirate!ateez // female!reader // uhhhhhhhhhh idk what else awful writing maybe???

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       As the sun begins to rise on the horizon, it’s yellow light pours into the ports of Aurora, illuminating the tired faces and sore bodies of the crew. Captain Hongjoong is the first one completely awake, blowing the conch before he’s even entirely out of bed. He’s reaching for his shirt, and the rest of the crew are begrudgingly sitting up when the atmosphere dawns on them. It’s heavy and causes a surge of anxiety. Hongjoong tries to shake it off, attempting to be confident and brave, as he usually is, but it’s hard when the energy around him is foul and makes him feel awful things in the pit of his heart. 

On the other side of the passageway, San’s first instinct is to reach for you as he notices the awful energy pulsing in the air. His heart nearly jumps from his chest when he realizes the spot is empty, and that your clothes are missing, though your sword is still by your empty spot. You would never just leave your sword by itself, and San knows this, so he shoots up and barely manages to pull his pants on before he’s charging into every room in search of you. The others are barely awake to care, but squint with swollen eyes when he charges out of their room leaving the door open just a crack. He’s out of breath and completely wild with worry by the time he manages to scramble to the main deck.

He’s greeted with harsh, icy winds, and a sky so clouded it seems the sun won’t be out for much longer. His eyes are drawn to the helm, where he sees you on the floor, hair askew and something gold tucked tightly in your hand. It winks at him under the morning light.

“Darling?” He rushes, falling beside you to check your pulse. Your heartbeat kisses his fingers in reassurance and you take a deep breath, which has a sigh of relief falling from his lips. “Darling, wake up.” 

You groan, your body shivering horribly. San notices then that you’re not wearing your coat, and your skin is like ice to the touch. He grabs the golden telescope from your clutch and is about to toss it back into its hiding place when you finally wake up completely. You shake your head and grab his hand, your teeth chattering too much to speak. He looks over and notices you gesturing for him to look into the telescope. 

“What is it?” He scrunches his brows. He takes it come your fingers and stands, placing the cool metal against his cheek. He instantly finds it. It’s closer now, and ten times bigger, if possible. From this distance, it’s a gigantic mass of green. A breath leaves his lips. “Wonderland.” 

A chill runs down your spine, but you manage to push yourself up and stabilize your chattering jaw. “I woke up around midnight because I felt a terrible jolt in my stomach. I came up here to see if there were any signs of danger. The ship was sailing smoothly, and there was no disturbance in the water, so I grabbed the telescope to see if something was coming. Then I saw it. Realized that just being near the island is making me feel terrible. That place is odd.” 

He turns, hissing when another burst of cold air brushes his bare chest. “Let’s get you below deck to warm up. Why didn’t you go down to tell us the minute you saw it?” 

You take the telescope and cap it, moving the floorboard back into place. San grabs your arm and helps you up, wrapping his arms around you as if to warm you with the mere heat of his body. You shuffle down to your room together, and Yunho gives you a weird look as he walks out of the toilet.

“What happened?” He asks, letting his toothbrush dangle from his lips. “Why are you half naked, San?”

San disregards his second question. “Tell Hongjoong that we’ve spotted Wonderland. We need to prep the ship for arrival. We’ve got a few hours, at most, before we arrive.” 

Yunho’s eyes pop wide and he scurries off without another question. “Captain, Captain!” 

San pulls you into your shared room and you instantly grab your coat, pulling it around your shoulders and curling your arms around yourself to warm up faster. You waddle over and furrow into the fur blanket, almost falling asleep as soon as your eyes shut. 

“You never answered my question.” San says, pulling his shirt over his head. “Why didn’t you come to wake us immediately?” 

You hum, peeling your eyes open again. “I- I’m sorry, San. I was so shocked. I just sat there and looked at if for a while. It’s finally happening. We’re just one step closer to Utopia. If we get through this, we’ll be heading straight for paradise. Guess I was just thinking a little too long. Must’ve fallen asleep.” 

San notices the slurring of your words, and can’t help but smile softly as your eyes flutter closed again. “Well, sleeping won’t help us prep.” 

You try to pry your eyes open, but you don’t have much energy to. You should’ve known it was a bad idea to stay out so long. You should’ve done what San said, but you hadn’t. And now you were so tired you couldn’t even lift your own head. “I’m sorry. Just a few minutes.” 

San walks over once his coat is on and his sword his tied tightly around his waist. He crouches beside you and rubs a hand across your cheek. “Well, fine. An hour, tops. No more than that. I’ve got a surprise for you.” 

You pucker your lips unconsciously and San chuckles, leaning in to press a chaste kiss to them. You sigh contentedly before completely falling into a slumber, a snore following. He smiles at you fondly, patting your cheek and leaving the room. He goes to the bathroom, picking up and staring into the pearl lined mirror (there due to your excessive pleads to Yunho). The white streak in San’s hair is something he acquired before accepting Hongjoong’s offer to sail to Utopia, and also something that makes him extremely confident. It looks gray under the darkening clouds, and he glares at the sky before grabbing his tricorn hat and placing it atop his head. Today is a big day and he’s ready to protect his crew until his last breath. 

Hongjoong calls a meeting directly after hearing the news. The ship is in the best condition it’s ever been and it’s so clean he could eat off of the floor (if they had food to eat, that is), so he knows there’s not much else to do but go over the plan and make sure everyone knows what they’re to do. He blows the conch and waits for a few seconds for the crew to arrive.

“I’m starving!” Is the first thing Wooyoung yawns as he enters the room. “I’m all skin and bones at this point. I think my body is about to eat my liver.” 

Jongho follows him, a serious case of bedhead gracing his scalp. “Your body wouldn’t even want your liver, Wooyoung. You’ve drank more beer than the rest of the crew put together. It’s about a week from shriveling and calling it a lifetime.” 

Yeosang is the third to enter, smiling so bright the dark clouds seem to shrink away from the window. “Oh, Jongho, don’t say that. Wooyoung hasn’t got a drinking problem.” 

“Nobody said anything about a drinking problem, Yeosang.” Wooyoung instantly bites bitterly. “My liver is perfectly fine. A very healthy liver one could say, strong as they come.” 

Seonghwa cracks a walnut as he walks in next. “I wouldn’t go that far. Perfectly fine is when you’ve had a drink or two within a month. Even when we had the opportunity to drink water you went for beer. Owning up is the first step to recovery.” 

Wooyoung sniffs. “Aren’t you addicted to sugar, Seonghwa? You have no room to talk. By next year you’ll be diabetic if you keep eating it by the spoonful.” 

Yunho scrunches his nose. “Disgusting, Hwa, you do that?”

The apples of Seonghwa’s cheeks burn a bright red. “Oh, shove off, Yunho. Let’s not act like you’re perfect. Lest we forget the time I caught you eating sunflower seeds.” 

“What’s wrong with that?” Yeosang asks. 

Seonghwa raises his eyebrows. “He ate them with the shell.” 

Jongho is visibly disgusted as the others continue to out each other's secrets, but can’t help but feel slightly smug he had started it all. It isn’t entirely true that Wooyoung drinks every single day, he just does it when he’s feeling anxious and needs to relax. He’s been doing it more often, reasonably, as Wonderland gets closer. Anxiety is the only thing in ample supply these days. Even Jongho knows that. He doesn’t like to think about it too much, so he just zones back into the others conversation before his mind can wonder. 

“--the pipe is for show! It was my fathers!” Wooyoung is protesting as the others stare at him, eyebrows raised.

Mingi enters the room, followed by San. The red headed boy grins. “I don’t know what’s happening, but I know Wooyoung is lying.”

“He’s got a stash of tobacco underneath his bed!” Seonghwa agrees. “That pipe is not just for show.” 

Wooyoung’s face is red. “How do you know of my stash, Seonghwa?” 

The whole room ripples with silence. Then Jongho grins, glad to be the one to say it. “Everyone’s had a go at it, Woo. Everyone.” 

He stares at every crew member in turn, astonishment clear on his face. “You’re not serious, are you? Without telling me?”

Hongjoong, who had been smoothing the map out and marking it, tunes into the conversation and grimaces when Wooyoung turns to him. He raises his eyebrows in question and the Captain can’t help but feel a little shameful. “It’s true. We found it that first night you got drunk and had to drag you to bed. We’ve all had a little bit since then.” 

Wooyoung scoffs. “Then what are you all yelling at me for, you hypocrites! I’m storing it in my trunk from now on. The one with the lock.” 

Everyone groans, but San shakes his head. “Alright, then. Enough with the chat. We’ve got things to discuss.” 

The crew gathers around the table at his words and Hongjoong settles his gaze on the door. “Where’s your woman? She’s late.” 

San stares at the map. “She was up at midnight when the island first came into sight. She accidentally fell asleep out by the helm. I told her she’s got an hour to get her rest. We can do without her.” 

Hongjoong nods, though reluctantly. “Alright then. Let’s go over the plan once more, shall we?”

There’s a collective murmur among the crew as Hongjoong begins to recite the beginning of the plan. San’s ears are attentive and taking in every word his Captain says seriously, but his eyes are scanning the words and marks made upon the yellowing parchment of the map. He realizes that the words are names, and the circles indicate the teams. Mingi, Wooyoung, and Hongjoong are circled near the edge of the Wonderland, still in the water. They are in charge of keeping the ship safe. 

“I will protect this ship with my life. I worked my ass off to buy it, I’ll kill any man or woman who tries to harm my Aurora.” Hongjoong says, and San glances up from the map to nod at him. 

San’s eyes slide back to the map. Another circle, this one far to the left of the boat. The crew in charge of gathering barrels of water from the closest fresh water stream. Also the group in charge of hunting for fresh meat. Monster or not. San, Yeosang, and Yunho. 

“You’ll take the smallest barrels first. They’ll be easy to strap to your back when they’re empty. It’ll be easier to fight.” Hongjoong looks at Yeosang directly, and the boy gulps. “The real challenge is bringing them back to the ship. I’ll be on shore, ready to take whatever loads you bring and lug them on board. I’ll have a gun on my hip, for anything that approaches me. The empty barrels will be lined beside me, ready for you to take them and fill them. If one of you gets injured and is unable to finish your task, Wooyoung will take your place. If more than one of you gets injured, they will come aboard and we will continue with one less. As for the meat, whatever you kill, you bring. We’ll take it all.”

San’s eyes trail back to the map, and he knows best not to interrupt Hongjoong, but can’t help the frown that suddenly appears on his lips. The third group. In charge of gathering fresh produce and anything else that’ll prove useful. Equipped with large coats with many, many pockets, and countless sacks, they’ll be the farthest away from the ship, in the forest. You, Seonghwa, and Jongho. San doesn’t remember that being changed. You were supposed to be teamed with him and Yunho with the others. When had that happened?

“You three will be the farthest, so the idea of multiple trips is possible, but not entirely reliable, so if you can, then do, if you can’t, don’t risk it. You’ll have around four sacks on each of you, so the weight will be hard to bear. That’s why we had everyone lift the anchor as much as you could so many times a day. To build muscle and tolerance. It won’t be easy. If you have the strength to bring more than what we need, you can, but do not risk your life for anything we don’t need. If you can’t walk more than three steps without stopping, it’s too much. Do not drag sacks. They’re old material, weaker. Dragging means risk of splitting the fabric and spilling the produce. That’s the last thing we need.” Hongjoong takes a deep breath, looking at everyone in turn. “That being said, if anyone gets caught by the locals, or the ship undergoes attack and we need assistance, I’ve found that these will help to send a signal.” 

Hongjoong reaches into his pocket and brings out a handful of very small and bright shells. He picks one up and places it against his lips, blowing softly. A high pitched song erupts from the small shell, and even San is surprised by the mere power it holds. Hongjoong hands one to each of the crew members. San gets two, one for him and one for you. He saves the pastel pink one in his breast pocket for you. 

“I bought these from an old lady by the bay back in the Mainland. She said that she charmed them so our enemies wouldn’t be able to hear them. I don’t believe that, but I do believe that they’re a great way of signaling if someone is in trouble. They’re very powerful. If you blow with a bigger breath the sound will resonate farther than we can fathom. Originally, I bought them to use in Utopia, but it seems we’re going to be needing them earlier than expected.” Hongjoong tucks his own into the inner pocket of his coat. “Keep it safe. It’s the only form of communication we’ve got.”

San clutches his shell tightly in his palm, eyes searing into map. He glares at your group, and when Honjoong asks if anyone has any questions, he speaks up. “I thought that Yunho was with the produce group.” 

Hongjoong’s facial expression shows no sign of surprise. “Originally, he had been. Upon my suggestion, he’s changed.” 

Suddenly, San feels as if the others have been speaking about him behind his back. Why else would they look so guilty so quickly? “I wanted to be paired with my lady. To protect her.” 

Hongjoong’s eyes don’t falter as San stares directly into his soul. The others, however, begin to glance nervously at each other. San and Hongjoong never bantered, but the emotions suddenly bleeding into the room don’t seem pleasant at all. “Listen to yourself, San. Wanting is selfish. I put your woman in charge of the produce because every team needs a strong, experienced figure. To protect the others if they freeze.” 

His words don’t phase San.

“Shouldn’t you have, at the very least, consulted our teams to see if it was okay?” He says petulantly. 

Hongjoong is very aware that you don’t want San to know you’re behind the entire change to the plan, but he really doesn’t like the look San is giving him. He holds his ground. “Everyone involved was informed. Yunho seems fine by the change, and your lady was as well. She didn’t seem very pleased, but she knows that it’s for the better of the crew. Do you not care for the well being of Seonghwa and Jongho, or even Yunho, our doctor? Should they not have assistance?” 

San presses a fist into the table, and Yeosang, who stands beside him, bravely places his palm over it. San turns to him to see that Yeosang is smiling a very soft, understanding smile. “San, nobody on this ship wants your lady to be harmed. She’s the very heart of Aurora, if anything were to happen to her we wouldn’t be able to live.” 

Seonghwa weakly adds, “I may not be the best fighter on this ship, but I know that I’m loyal to every single crew member here. I will protect her with my life, rest assured. She’s one of the best friends I could ever have.” 

San feels his demeanor fall, and he drags a hand along his face. “I know. It’s this island, it’s really messing with my emotions. I feel anger so deeply rooted in me, I just want to break something. I haven’t felt this way in a long time.” 

Jongho speaks up then, his fingers fiddling with a scrap piece of metal. He looks at everyone with stoic features. “It’s happening with all of us. I could feel it as soon as I woke. It’s a feeling like a thick blanket over your entire body. It makes you feel suffocated, and agitated. Causes very ugly emotions. I had to push them all away before coming in here. If not I’d have done more than just start a banter.” 

Silence creeps into the room as the crew begins to mull over his words. When the silence grows too loud, Wooyoung speaks up, “You’re capable of feeling emotions, Jongho?” 

There’s a rumble of laughter that scares away the aforementioned feeling only slightly. Jongho glares at Wooyoung, but there’s the tiniest hint of a smile curling on his lips. Yeosang wraps his fingers around San’s enclosed fist, and forces his hand open. “So, are you on board with the plan, Quartermaster?” 

No one had ever officially called San Quartermaster. He assumed every member had their reasons for not addressing him this way, as they all view each other as equals, and he really didn’t feel important enough to be called so. He also really isn’t the navigator of the ship, but he is second in charge. The smiles and eyes directed at him has his heart beating faster. It’s the same thing that happens when he looks at you. He feels a surge of love for his crew members. 

“Alright, I apologize for my sudden anger. I didn’t mean to disrespect you, Captain. I only worry.” San says, slightly embarrassed. “I’m all with the plan, and the groups.” 

Hongjoong chuckles. “I wouldn’t have expected anything else from you, San. If you hadn’t said anything, then I’d have reason to be confused, and angry. I would’ve assumed that you didn’t care, and that is far worse than anything you just said.” 

“We love her too, you know.” Mingi speaks suddenly. “She treats us all very well. She’s like the sister I never had.” 

Wooyoung nods in agreement, then blanches. “Well, we don’t love her in the way that you do, just to be clear. You two have a bond we do not.” 

There’s an instantaneous murmur of agreement from the rest of the boys as San grins. He rolls his eyes instead of impulsively hugging every single one of them, knowing they’d have reason to tease him later. He squeezes Yeosang’s hand before letting it go, pointing to the map. “Let’s keep on discussing then, yeah? You lot of scallywags.” 

The boys protest greatly at the name, but nearly everyone is grinning, glad that everything worked out. Hongjoong smiles proudly before going on with the plan. The plan that’s nearly three hours from being made a reality.

~

        You wake when you feel a body passing over yours. Your eyes instantly snap open and you jolt up, only to clash heads with the person hovering over you. You cry out, clutching your cheek as pain ripples along your stitches from the impact. 

“Why’d you do that?” They yell, grabbing something from your side and pulling back instantly. When he’s a good distance you notice it’s Jongho. “Idiot, did you not feel me above you?” 

You scrunch your eyebrows, a frown settling upon your lips. “Don’t be rude, you’re invading my personal space, not the other way around. What are you doing here?” 

You notice then that he’s holding the hilt of your sword tightly to his chest. He glances down when he sees you looking and clears his throat. “San told me to take it for cleaning and sharpening while you slept.” 

You finally stand, stretching your limbs. A small noise leaves your nose as you finally look him in the eyes. “Have at it then. Make sure to return it before we land.” 

Jongho raises his eyebrows. “Of course. We had a meeting while you slept. Hongjoong wants you to see him so he can make sure you know the entire stratagem by heart.”

You nod, and Jongho shuffles over to exit your room. Before he’s completely out the door you call his name. He hums and turns, disinterest clear in his face once more. “Don’t ever call me an idiot again. The wrath of an insulted lady is far worse than any monster out there.” 

His eyes widen slightly before he scurries out, touching the edge of his forehead with the tips of his fingers. Your own temple, the spot of collision, has a dull ache, but it’s fading as each second passes. You shake off your pain, and look out of the port. The sun is gone, and dark clouds are hovering over the ship like angry cotton plants. They look swollen with rain and you tighten your coat around you, feeling the cold winds they bring through the leather. Shaking the little fatigue still weighing your shoulders, you gather your hair in your hands and pull it into a quick bun, placing your hat atop your head quickly after. 

You have hope that it won’t rain during your mission, as it would be ten times more difficult to move heavy sacks of food in the mud, but the hope is little, about the size of a corn kernel. You push your doubts to the side and cling onto that kernel sized hope. It adds to the balloon of hope already floating in your chest. You take a deep breath and head to the door. As your luck has it, it swings open just as you’re about to grab the knob, knocking your hand and your forehead with a thunk! 

“What in the absolute hell!” You shout, pulling back and clutching your forehead. “Does anybody know proper mannerisms around here? How to knock, maybe?” 

San’s head peeps around the corner and he sucks a breath in through his teeth. “Oh, sorry, darling! Jongho didn’t tell me you were awake. You alright?” 

You glare at him, but your mouth betrays you and pulls into a grin. You laugh, “Oh, I’m fine. That’s the second hit I’ve had to my head in the span of five minutes, though. I think you’ve knocked my brain loose.” 

San giggles, walking over and wrapping his arms around you. He places a sweet kiss to the crown of your head before pulling back. “Why are you up in the first place? I told you and hour. It’s fifteen until, you still need some rest. Look at the purple beneath your eyes!” 

He rubs his thumbs under your eyes, and you push him away. “Well I would’ve still been sleeping if Jongho hadn’t been hovering over me trying to get my sword. I thought it was someone else! I could’ve killed him if I hadn’t been half asleep.” 

San rubs his arms across your shoulders and shakes his head, chuckling. “Yeah, yeah, sure you would have. Well, you’re awake now and perhaps ready for my surprise...” 

Your eyebrows shoot into your hairline. “Surprise? What surprise?” 

San grins, his hat nearly toppling off his head as he shoots for the door. He rushes back to grab your shoulders when he remembers something. “Stay here. I’m going to get it. 

You give a small laugh as he barrels out of the room, not bothering to try and stop him to get answers to all the questions you have. You don’t know what to expect, and having been in the same boat for a while, you wonder where he had hid such a secret. You sigh softly and rock on your heels, curiosity swirling in your stomach. He returns sooner than you expect, dramatically heaving and wiping away sweat you can’t see. His hands are tucked behind his back and you can clearly see something peeping over his shoulder. You don’t bother trying to peek, your smile twitching. 

“Your sword,” San starts, walking until the toes of his boots kiss yours. “while a very good weapon, isn’t the best. I know it’s the sword Hongjoong gave you when you joined the crew, and it holds a lot of sentimental value, and I would never be able to replace it, but maybe… maybe, I could give you something that would mean just as much? I stole them off of a man at the Cornwall City Auction. The man offering them up was ugly, real pasty skin, a ballooning stomach, and beady little eyes. Trapped a young girl no older than fourteen in the alley before the auction started and tried to woo her with his money stuffed pockets. I couldn’t resist. They’re so beautiful they’re meant for more than a life of being traded and hung upon walls. Perhaps, they’re to be used by an equally as beautiful woman as she fights through the incredibly dangerous forest of Wonderland to retrieve produce for her crew. Perhaps, they’re meant for the wonderfully skilled hands of a woman who knows what she wants and fights for it, a woman who will give them a life worth living.” 

You feel a hurricane of butterflies swirl in your stomach at his words, and your cheeks begin to glow. He smiles at you fondly, a smile so loving and warm it makes you so grateful for everything that has led to this moment. You would give up everything to keep seeing this smile, such a sweet smile on such a beautiful man. 

“You don’t have to give me anything of yours--” 

San leans forward and kisses your lips quickly, so fast your not quite sure it happened. “They’re not new. If we were on land I’d make sure to steal you the biggest jewel your pretty finger could hold, but unfortunately we no longer have access to such things. Besides, a big jewel on your finger would prove no help, or point, at least, not at this exact moment. I originally planned to keep these for myself, but I love my own sword too much. So, instead of letting them grow mountains of dust in the weapons closet, I decided to tell Jongho to fix them into your style so I could give them to you.” 

San finally stops stalling the reveal and pulls two crescent moon blades from behind his back. Your mouth hangs open as he backs up and holds them out in front of him for you to drink them in completely. They’re silver, with gorgeous golden patterns carved along the metal, and they have the most dangerously sharp edges. The hilts are in the middle of opposite facing blades, so there’s two blades attached to each hilt, made of a dark brown leather. The hilts also contain various loopy engravings. You were trained with every possible blade back on the Mainland, and these had been your absolute favorite. You only remember mentioning this to San once, expecting to never have access to such blades in your life again. You hadn’t even known they were just laying in the weapons closet, gathering dust. You reach a hand out, running your fingers along the details inscribed in the metal. With a jolt you realize they form the shape of a dragon, wrapping around all four blades, head settled softly on the point of your left blade and the tail snugly resting on the right. 

“A-are you sure? San, they’re too beautiful, I could never--” 

San shakes his head, cutting you off quickly. “They hold no more beauty than you do, darling. I know you told me you thought you’d never get to touch a blade such as this again. A lesson you’d think about for the rest of your life, you called it? You reminded me that I had even brought them onto the ship in the first place. Really, darling, I was never going to use them. Back on the Mainland I was a thief for many reasons, mostly to spite the people who thought low of the lower class, or in the case of these blades, perverts, but never truly for myself. To survive and make ends meet, yes, but never for other uses. I’ve only ever used my father’s sword, his last gift to me, and I will only ever use it for the rest of my life. I have no use for them. They’re better with you.”

He places them into your slightly clammy hands and moves his hands to your cheeks. Your eyes finally slide from the blades to meet his. He’s surprised to see you teary eyed. You sniffle. “You don’t know how much this means to me, San. My father, before he was a snobby rich man, he was a traveler. He met a man on an island near the East coast of the mainland. That man taught him how to fight with knives like these. And while I got every other sort of fighting knowledge from men that I hardly knew, he was the one to teach me how to use these. He did have his soft moments, moments when he believed that I was more than just an opportunity to gain more money.” 

San wipes your cheeks as tears race down your skin, frowning. “You don’t have to speak of that, darling. What lies in your past can stay there.”

You grip the leather in your hands tightly. “I like that memory of him. He seemed different, younger, but you’re right. That was the past. Regardless. I love them, San. They’re better than any sort of jewel.” 

“I’m glad you like them. I’d have taken them away and thrown them over the side of the boat if you were displeased with them. Only the best for you.” He says softly. “Also, it is to be noted that this doesn’t mean the idea of a ring is to be thrown completely out of the window. I will marry you one day and put a ring on that finger, lady. There’s no escaping me. You’re stuck with me forever.” 

You’re suddenly reminded of the dangers ahead, and the risks. You walk over and place your new blades on a barrel shelf Yeosang had created. Then you launch yourself into San’s arms, pressing your lips to his in an urgent kiss. A surprised grunt leaves his lips as your arms snake around his neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you until your entire body is flush with his. His lips return your feverish kiss, fingers digging into the material of your coat, desperately wishing it was your bare skin. He doesn’t even feel bad when his fingernails make marks in the perfect leather. He really wishes he had time to show you how much he really loves you, just in case. He doesn’t like to think about the possible outcomes of this mission, but he knows that they’re real possibilities, and there’s no avoiding them even if he wants to.

He keeps the kiss going, walking you to the wall and sliding his hands from your waist so that the palms of his hands are cupping your cheeks. There’s so much feeling behind the kisses, unsaid words passing to each other in the form of physical touch. The kiss gets heated as you lift your leg a bit to pull San’s lower body to yours. Your mouth parts open for his tongue and they clash with a burst of heavy energy. The air in the room becomes heavy and thick with sexual tension and you know that you have to stop before it gets too far, but you also know that something might happen today so you don’t want to. Your hands fall from his neck and the tips of your fingers brush the top of his belt. You feel the same feeling the first time he had ever pinned you against a wall, pure hunger. You body is famished of his touch and your tongue of his taste, like you haven’t been pleasured in years. It’s crazy how fast you can flip a switch for San. How fast he can have your body heated with red hot flames, ready to do as he sees fit. How quickly you lose yourself in him and forget the time and your duties. When your fingers dip lower, your palm brushing against his bulge, he pulls back, teeth sinking dangerously into his bottom lip.

“We should stop. We don’t have much time left.” San whispers, words shaky and breathing fast. “Y-you have to see Hongjoong.” 

You only remember this because it’s been like an annoying pin in the back of your brain as you were tying tongues with San. You decide to ignore this for a second more, bringing his lips back to yours and pressing your palm back to his bulge. San gets lost too easily in the feeling of your touch, in the taste of your lips, pressing into you despite the many protests his brain is giving him. He pulls his mouth from yours and latches his pink lips to the bare canvas of your neck. 

You’re one hundred percent more sensitive than before and the feeling of his teeth grazing your skin prompts a moan from your mouth. He swats your hand from his pants and presses his hips into yours, slowly grinding. Your fingernails find purchase in the cloth of his shirt, pulling him forward. Your leg, which had fallen, lifts back up and pulls him all the way to you until there’s not a single bit of room left. As your lips meet again he frees a hand to place behind your knee, hips still pressing forward. Your thumb dips underneath his pants and presses against his skin, hot under your touch. 

Just as you pull back to latch your own mouth against his throat the door squeaks open to the sound of voices. 

“--said she’d only rest an hour and that hour is up already. I need to talk to her.” Hongjoong is saying, hand pushing the door open as he keeps his eyes locked on Jongho. 

The two of you are unaware of the company you now have, but just as San’s opening his mouth to moan Jongho clears his throat, alerting the two of you. San doesn’t bother pulling away, because it’s fairly obvious what the two of you were doing, but his hand does move away from the back of your knee, causing your leg to fall. He also flinches quite profusely, but he hopes desperately no one points it out.

“She looks pretty awake to me.” Jongho chuckles. He looks both smug and disgusted simultaneously as he watches your cheeks grow cherry red. “More than awake, in fact...” 

San clears his own throat, still pressing against you. You realize why when he shifts slightly and his erection presses into your inner thigh. You laugh nervously as he says, “Obviously, she is awake. I was just giving her a present.” 

“A horrible present, isn’t it? Hasn’t she gotten it before? Like last night, maybe?” Jongho snorts, but the second it’s out his smile falls. “You seem to forget my room is on the other side of that wall.” 

Hongjoong stifles a laugh behind his hand, shaking his head. “No matter, I’ll give the two of you a few minutes to… settle down. I need to see your lady in a bit, don’t take too long.” 

San nods again and Hongjoong shoos Jongho out, shutting the door behind him.  San let’s a deep breath tumble from his lips, placing his forehead against your shoulder. “I knew we should’ve stopped.” 

You let go of his shirt, unaware that your fingers had been clenched into a fist around the material. He pulls away from you and immediately your warm body is met with the biting cold that seeps in from the port. “I’m sorry, San, I couldn’t stop myself. I never can when it comes to you.”

San stops and places his head against the wall opposite you. “It’s wasn’t just you. I’m as guilty, if not more, for getting a little too into it.” 

You pat down your clothing, replying, “Well, I better be off to see what the Captain wants. We both know it won’t end well if I take long.” 

You expect him to turn and give you a kiss, or maybe even just a smile, but he offers nothing, not even a response. Your eyebrows shoot up, but you shrug, heading for the door. In all likeliness it’s probably better to leave without anything, you just can’t help it. You’ve grown too used to the attention San gives you, and at this point you expect it. Spoiled, is what you’ve become. 

“I forgot this.” He calls, holding out his arm, palm open. You walk over and grab the shell resting in his hand. It’s a rather small shell, no bigger than a stone, and it’s a beautiful pale shade of pink. 

You glance at San. “What’s this for?” 

San grunts, pushing off the wall and quickly kissing your forehead. “Hongjoong can explain. Now, darling, if you please. I need to take care of my… situation. Your presence really does not help.” 

The small kiss sends a flurry of tingles down your skin and lifts your mood. “Of course, San. Love you.” 

San watches you leave the room, making sure to say the same before the door can cut off his words. Of course, though he really would like to take care of his situation in a way that would release the tension from his muscles, he knows it’s better he not, and opts instead on focusing on the gnawing hunger in his belly. It’s not hard to remember how hungry he is, and it’s definitely not hard remembering how much he misses proper meals. Not hard, San almost laughs at the irony of his choice of words. 

Feeling like a child who’s been given a sweet treat, you find your steps are lighter as you walk down the passageway to Hongjoong. It’s funny how easily San can bring a smile to your face with such a simple gesture, just as he can light fires along your body with a single touch. You’re pretty sure everything comes easily with San. 

Yes, indeed. Spoiled rotten.

Hongjoong is hovering over the cherry wood table, eyes scanning the marks made on the map (even though he’s stared at them for so long they’re basically imprinted on his eyelids). He barely moves when the door shuts behind you, waving a hand in what you assume is a welcome. You glance to the side and see Wooyoung polishing off a tankard of beer. 

“Early start today, eh?” You tease. “Waterskin already empty?” 

Wooyoung shakes his head, wiping the edge of his sparkling mouth with his sleeve. “No, just think it’d be better to save what water I have left for when I need it most.” 

You halt your movements and nod, impressed. “Wow, you’re clever. I was just about to down the rest of what my skin has. Any beer left?” 

Wooyoung glances in the barrel and grunts, grabbing his tankard and scooping the rest of the amber liquid. It’s a little less than a half cup. “This, but I assume it doesn’t taste as good; it is the bottom of the barrel. If I wasn’t desperately thirsty I would never drink it.” 

You take it from his hands gingerly, sending him a look over the brim. “It’s not like we have much room to moan about it.” 

Hongjoong grunts, which is as much of a complaint he’ll make, and you scurry over, knowing it’s a sign he’s growing impatient. He goes over the plan with you quickly, but reminds you of all the small details you’ll need to be aware of. He tries to manage it all in one breath, but fails, resulting in an unexpected break as he pants over the map. His shoulders look tense, in fact, his whole body does. 

“Don’t worry, Captain, I’ve got it. I memorized the entire thing the minute we created it. I’m prepared for anything.” You tell him when you notice he’s not lifting his head. “Any monster, whatever size, whatever type. I’m ready for the people, for the injuries, for all the things keeping us from succeeding. I’ve cut up an old dress of mine and made the pieces into scarves for the crew, in case of foul gasses, made sure everyone has a pair of gloves, and Jongho has seen to it that every weapon is fit for battle. We’re as ready as we can be.” 

Hongjoong looks up, eyes glossy. He takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes tightly as he exhales. “We are prepared, of course we are, but ready? I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to send you all out into the unknown when all we know are stories told by drunken sailors and pitifully weak traders. I think it’s safe to say that the closer we get to that place the more I realize that we really, truly will never be ready to encounter whatever lies on its soils. I don’t believe in magic, I never will, but I believe in evil. And that is all I feel radiating from that place.” 

You glance out of the port, to the gray skies and dark waves. His words have the giddiness you felt earlier disappear as easily as a dandelion in the wind. You mull over them, trying to form a reply that won’t come off as repetitive and meaningless. In truth, you’re sure that the entire ship has heard every sort of reassurance in the book. So much, in fact, you yourself are tired of having doubts and hearing the same thing over and over. You can’t question your abilities any longer. You must build your courage and stand your ground. It’s no longer if you come out of the mission alive. It’s when. You don’t need to comfort Hongjoong and tell him everything will go smoothly, you have to show him. 

You down the rest of your beer (which isn’t as pleasant) and place the shell clutched in your other palm to the table. “San was too busy to explain this.” 

Hongjoong opens his eyes, and you see they’re clear of tears. He proceeds with a halfhearted explanation. 

You’re surprised. “You bought this from an old woman by the bay? A bit adventurous for you, no? I thought you didn’t trust people who claim ridiculous things.” 

The corners of Hongjoong’s mouth lift. “That was after I decided to trust a woman who claimed to have stolen the ruby around her neck. I was feeling a different kind of generous. Plus, they were quite the bargain for having such powers.” 

You reel at his words. “Claimed to have stolen? What, you didn’t believe I was capable of stealing when we first met? Did I look like that much of a damsel?” 

Hongjoong shook his head. “I knew you could steal, that much was obvious. Your travelsack was worn and initials that weren’t yours were imprinted on the front. Very small, however, hard to find if you weren’t looking. I suspect that’s why you chose it. But, ah, don’t be foolish, your hair was styled in a way that screamed money, and your boots are worth more than the entire crews attire put together. I knew you could fight, too, because of the way you held yourself, and the way your hand twitched to your pockets whenever the others tried to introduce themselves. All in all, you were a strange mix of a lot of things that I couldn’t understand.” 

You cock your head to the side. “Why did you let me aboard then, if you knew I was lying?”

Hongjoong laughs. “You were beautiful, I won’t deny it. I knew I’d grow tired of staring at the ugly faces of the others--”

“Hey!” Wooyoung protests. 

“--and I didn’t want to starve myself of the pleasures of seeing beauty. We’re men, I knew that we’d need a different perspective when it came to certain things, and someone to tell us when we were getting too dirty, though I know now that Yunho’s just as good for that as he is stitching a wound. But, beyond all of that, I saw the fear in your eyes, the fresh hurt from something big, the urgency to leave everything behind. I knew that while you looked like a woman capable of slicing my throat and getting away with it easily, you needed to board Aurora just as much as the rest of us.” 

You stand, stunned for a second. “I -- I didn’t know you’d seen through me so well.” 

“I grew up working for the rich. There are different types. The ones who like to bask in the glory and belittle the people who don’t live lavish like them, the ones who don’t let it affect their personalities or their company, and the ones forced along who don’t really care. You looked like someone running from their riches. If you wanted to escape with your fathers wealth without his terms, you would’ve taken more than a necklace. Instead, you blended with the common folk and asked for a way out. I knew your intentions before you told me your name.” 

It’s your turn blink away tears. You reach for your neck, but sigh when you find it bare. You rarely wear the necklace anymore. It’s a constant reminder of your life back on the Mainland, and you find no one tends to have wandering eyes when you’re bare of it. You press a fist into the table, a laugh void of humor escaping your mouth. “If you hadn’t accepted me I don’t know what I would have done. My father was quick to change from a good man to a rich one. He let his money define him, and while he did have good days, there were far more bad ones. I think I would’ve kept trying sailor after sailor, even the unsavory ones, until I found someone willing to take me in. And if no one ever did... I never thanked you properly. I owe you my life.” 

Hongjoong shakes his head. “You owe me nothing. You’ve brought light to this ship, all of us get along better with you here. You’re the heart of Aurora, I’d have been a fool to ignore you. Your father was the real fool, what he did--” 

“I think it better we leave him from the rest of our conversation.” You say sharply, afraid of disturbing memories you buried deep down. You’ve already dug deeper than you expected. “How about we find whatever is edible and try to settle our nerves, hm?” 

You stuff your shell into one of the many pockets lining the inside of your coat, heading for the door. Hongjoong and Wooyoung share a look, but aren’t surprised. While no one on the ship had it easy growing up, you definitely had the most challenging childhood. And while they will never understand what it is like to carry those memories embedded in your head like nails in wood, they can definitely understand when you don’t want to talk. 

So they let you go, and Hongjoong turns back to the map, making sure it stays imprinted on his eyelids. 

~

       Aurora can easily blend in with the many ships lined along the edges of Wonderland’s docks, but Mingi sees to it that she’s hidden from the view of the bustling area. San preps the cannons in case situations turn dire, and Jongho assures Hongjoong’s gun is fully functional and ready to shoot. The anxiety is high among the crew members, and San barely has an excuse to be by your side the entire time. Hongjoong goes around, a checklist tucked into his palm, guaranteeing everyone has what they need.

His words ring in your ears. He’s right, you’ll never be ready. It feels as if there are stones at the pit of your belly, stirring up what little food it holds, and threatening to force it all out of your throat. San’s hand clutches yours tightly, fingers clammy. Yunho has a hard time clipping his supplies to his belt and nearly bursts into tears because of it. Yeosang is trying his hardest to smile, but even he is feeling the result of being so close to the island. Wooyoung holds himself straight, but doesn’t try to hide the fear so evident in his eyes. Mingi busies himself with the sails and ropes, trying to hide his shaking hands. Seonghwa stands on the other side of you, finding comfort in the way your fingers brush his. Jongho is analyzing the island, gaze hard and determined.

Wonderland is more beautiful than you care to admit, despite the ugly feelings it gives off. Unlike your dream the dull clouds seem to go completely around it, golden sands baking underneath the sun. Aurora faces a giant cliff of smooth rock almost completely swallowed by green vines. It’s split down the middle, creating a narrow path you can’t see. Far off to the right a tall forest of green towers over the shore, covering it in a shadow and inching so far out it partially blocks the view of the docks. You can’t see far passed that, and the rocky cliff shifts to hills farther left, so you have no idea what else the island consists of. 

The crew stills when the ship is completely stopped, chests heaving and muscles rigid.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go, the sooner we start the sooner we’re out of here!” Hongjoong roars suddenly, causing an instant reaction. 

You pry away from San and grab Seonghwa’s hand, leading him over to the pile of sacks. “Jongho, come on, we have to strap these to ourselves.” 

The edges of your new blades poke at your ribs as you bend over to grab your sacks, stringing them around your arms and your shoulders. Jongho hurries over and does the same, a scowl fresh on his lips. He’s carrying two swords at the waist and has knives tucked into his boots; Seonghwa also has two weapons, a sword and a dagger, both strapped to his hips tightly. You’re appreciative of the various weapons, it settles the storm in your stomach slightly. 

Mingi drops off of the edge of the boat dramatically, and Hongjoong tosses barrels after him. Yunho, and Yeosang are double checking their things, weapons and straps. Once you’re sure you have everything you walk over to the edge of the ship and grab the rope of the anchor. You call for Seonghwa and Jongho, throwing yourself over the edge and nearly losing your grip. Your gloves are stuffed in your pocket, so it stings when your palms scrape against the rope, but you quickly tighten your grip and plant your feet on the side of the ship, slowly letting yourself down. You land ankle deep in water, grunting and letting the rope free. Instantly there’s a flash across your eyelids and you see the island from your dreams. Harrowing grey sky, and inky black sand. It clouds your vision for a moment, and you’re unable to see the golden sands and bright green trees.  

Seonghwa thumps down beside you and pats your shoulder, drawing you back to reality. He sees Mingi crushed under a barrel and manages to laugh, despite the circumstances. He leaves you alone in the water and goes to help his crew member up. 

“What happened? They’re empty, strong man!” Seonghwa calls. 

“I lost my footing.” Mingi sniffs, pushing the barrel off of him. 

You stay stunned for a second, wondering if what just happened was your imagination or just the flash of a memory. You shake it off, trying to focus on the mission ahead. Jongho digs his heels in the sand beside you as he lands. You leave him to analyze the place longer, walking over to help Mingi and Seonghwa with the barrels. 

San comes down a minute later, just as your about to depart from the others. He grabs your arm silently and twirls you around. His lips meet yours in a kiss. This one kiss is worth a million words, a million I love you’s and whispered promises. It’s worth all of the kisses in the world. It’s the kind of kiss you hope to receive again one day, under the sparkling moon by the shore, a ring wrapped around your finger. 

He doesn’t need to say he loves you. You already know that he does. He’s aware too. So he only says, “Be careful.” 

You smile, taking in every detail of his face. Just in case. “I will.” 

You pull away before you can get caught up in another kiss, San’s lips too inviting. You’re the first to turn away and leave, heading in the direction of Jongho and Seonghwa. Seonghwa is smiling, a bit fondly, if you can identify emotions at all, and Jongho is simply straight faced. They’re both covered with the cloth sacks, looking tiny among the burlap. They swivel around and begin to walk with you toward the forest. You turn your head and see San heading through the narrow path in the cliff, a barrel strapped to his back. Before he enters he glances back, catching your eye. You turn quickly, heart hammering. This is it. Detour Expedition: Wonderland is completely in action. 

You hold your breath as you walk, hands trembling. You attempt to tighten the rope holding the burlap sack across your shoulder, but just like Yunho, you nearly cry out in frustration when your shaking hands prove no help. You have to stop for a second and let out the breath you’re holding. You think about everything you’ve been taught to this day, the fighting, the skills needed to win against a stronger opponent. You try to remember how easily you were able to push away your emotions. How you would push forward, confident, relentless, and fearless. How you could so easily turn your heart to stone with the snap of your fingers. 

You force yourself to push aside your worries and doubts, shoving them into a box within your chest. You’re here for food. It’s get in and get out. No one is going to die. Not on your watch. 

You push passed Seonghwa and Jongho, chin held high and fingers tightly enclosed on the rope around your shoulders. You’re the leader of these two right now. The more experienced one. You cannot let them down. You tighten the rope, your hands no longer shaking. You are strong, you are capable, you are brave. 

You reach the edge of the forest first. Seonghwa and Jongho are right behind you, sharing confused glances. The trees are different than in your dreams. For one, they’re not three feet thick, or as tall as the sky. They vary in thickness, from about one to two feet, but they are extremely tall. The canopy of branches and leaves above make it dark, and as soon as you step into the forest it’s almost as if you’ve stepped into a forest of night. You right hand instinctively reaches for one of your blades. There’s a thick mixture of roots and vines covering the floor, and you make sure to keep them in your peripheral vision so you don’t trip.

“Hey, look at this.” Jongho whispers from behind you. 

You turn and see that he’s got his bare palm pressed against the side of a tree, and is poking something growing from the bark. You and Seonghwa lean forward for a better look and you stumble back when you see what it is, eyes wide. Your heel catches on a protruding root and you fall back, your ass landing on something soft. Your head thunks against a different root and you look down. Covering the entirety of the ground, even crawling up the sides of the trees, more recognizable now that you’re closer, is amethyst moss. Identical, and just as vivid as it was in your last, also worst, nightmare. 

It must be a sick sort of coincidence. Maybe, you find yourself thinking, you’re just so hungry and thirsty that you aren’t seeing things properly. You squeeze your eyes shut and clutch the hilt of your blade tighter. The back of your head throbs, but doesn’t hurt enough for you to care.

“Oh,” Seonghwa exclaims when he turns to see you laying on the floor in a very unsettling angle. “Are you alright?” 

Your eyes snap open and you turn your head again. The moss is still there. You push yourself to your feet, squinting your eyes to see if it makes a trail. Fortunately, unlike your dreams, it doesn’t, and there are no mushrooms in a straight line like a purple carpet leading to your death.

You take another deep breath. “Let’s keep moving forward.” 

You move quickly, eyes peeling left to right in search of anything edible you can gather. You use one of your blades to hack at whatever gets in your way and use your other free hand to move the rope of the burlap sack when it slides up and tugs at your throat. The farther you go, the more anxious you get. So far, there are no monsters, no people. The place is unsettling, and silence is thick among the trees. Seonghwa and Jongho follow your lead, trying to stay as quiet as possible and only stepping where the soft moss is most visible. 

“Hey,” Seonghwa whispers suddenly. You whip around quickly and he stumbles back, snapping a fallen branch in the process. You hiss and wait for a second. When nothing happens, you let out a sigh of relief. Seonghwa points to a thick trunk. “I just realized what tree this is. The bark is edible. It’s also really good for medicine. Shouldn’t we collect some?” 

You look around, there’s nothing but thick trees as far as you can see. You need something to fill your stomach. You nod. “Sure. I’ve got a pouch in one of my pockets.” 

You backtrack a few steps and face your back to Seonghwa as he brings out his dagger. Jongho attempts to find some sort of clue as to where the hell you’re supposed to be going, sniffing the air and attempting to clear paths with the toe of his boot. You remove a velvet pouch from your bigger pockets, handing it over when Seonghwa asks. While he digs into the bark you reach for your waterskin, throat already scratchy from lack of speaking. You’re trying to keep conversation to a minimum; whatever it is, luck, or pure chance that you haven’t encountered a monster yet is good. You don’t want to ruin it.

Seonghwa makes the faintest squeal as he finally manages to pull a chunk out. He’s about to stuff it in his mouth when he catches your eye. He averts his gaze quickly and places it between his lips more calmly. His face scrunches up as he continues to scrape at the bark. 

“Psst,” Jongho calls softly about two trees over. “Come have a look at this.” 

You take the small piece of bark Seonghwa offers you, and tip toe away. Jongho’s cleared a small path to where he’s squatting, and he’s lifting a leaf about the size of your face up, staring at something underneath it. The bark is bitter as you chew, and doesn’t taste the best, but it’s better than an empty stomach. 

He looks up at you, and for the first time in your life you see fear in Jongho’s eyes. “What does this look like to you?” 

You crouch down beside him and grab his shoulders to steady yourself as you peer over him. It’s just another patch of amethyst moss until you squint closer. There’s a dark indention, tinted the darkest shade of purple, as if someone with muddy boots had stepped in it. But the shape is not a foot, nor a boot. It’s the shape of a huge paw, a paw that definitely isn’t small. 

“A monster. That looks fresh.” You whisper, turning to lock eyes with Jongho. “We’ve got to get out of here.” 

You rush over to Seonghwa, who’s already managed to fill the pouch and is stuffing it in one of his vacant pockets. He turns when he hears your rushed, very loud footsteps, and his smile falters. He holds a piece of bark out. “I got some for Jongho as well.” 

You grab his shoulder as soon as you’re near, eyes wildly looking in all directions. You finally look him in the eyes. “There’s a monster somewhere in this area. Draw your weapon.” 

Jongho already has his sword in his hand, eyes hard and clear of emotion once more. He’s amazing at showing no emotions at a time like this. You draw your other blade and for a second you’re lost. You don’t know where to go. 

Jongho seems to know what you’re thinking. “We should keep to the direction we were going. It leads further into the island. That’s where they probably keep their food. Having it out where it’s easy to find is idiotic. They must be smarter than that.” 

You nod, once again leading the way as you weave through trees quickly, the rushed steps of the others loud in your ears. You’re just passing under a stream of sunlight, a crack in the canopy, when a shadow passes under it, and the sound of flapping wings reverberates from behind you. You almost stop, but a roar quickly follows, vibrating deep inside your chest. 

Oh, shit. You’re going to have to fight. 

~~~

Ahoy mateys! Was this trash lmaoo be honest 👀

#ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #san fanfic #san fluff #san smut #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #ateez smut #san imagines #pirate!ateez #kpop fanfiction #fanfic #imagines #i dont know how else to promote my baby LMAO #i gotta find some cute scene dividers

[ddagent]

Sneak Peek Sunday

Suggested by the amazing @sententiousandbellicose, I present Sneak Peek Sunday. Every week I shall post a snippet from one of my WIPs, whether it’s yet to be finished or just waiting to be edited.

I might have already teased this, but here is an extract from Beauty Has Her Way. It’s the Berena 1980s vampire AU I know you’ve all been wanting to read. Enjoy:

The last time Bernie had visited Holby was 1962, almost fifteen years before. She had left America in a boat; survived off rats and the occasional seaman with wandering hands. Holby was a welcome sight. But even then she had become lost down streets she had once known well; her memories muddled as to roundabouts and stores that had long since closed. She hadn’t washed or slept in close to a month. Yet that journey was a pleasant stroll down a country lane compared to dropping a human off home.

 “No, no, you need to turn right.” The young woman huffed, crossing her arms for the third time. “It’s a ten minute trip that you’ve somehow managed to turn into half an hour. I’m starting to think you are a serial killer.”

 Bernie honked nervously, startling the poor girl into a smile. Whilst she stared at Bernie, Bernie tried not to stare at the dried lashes of blood on the back seat. “Sorry, I-I used to live here, but everything’s changed.”

 “It’s alright. When I first came back from University, I completely forgot the location of Clinton Cards even though I’ve lived here all my life.” She tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ear; her expression turning from exasperation to one of sympathy. “How long have you been gone?”

 “Too long.”

 Bernie focussed on the road, on making the right turning on the roundabout so she could drop her passenger home as quickly as possible. She shouldn’t want her in the car. One look at the back seat and she’d be startled; chilled. The two fingers Bernie had spotted under the floor mat would only lead to screams. Then her policeman friend would be involved and her sanctuary would be a no man’s land for a decade, if not two. Bernie had no idea what kept this young woman in the car, at the very least alive. She was, however, a mystery. And Bernie had always enjoyed mysteries.

 “So,” She started. “I know what I was doing at two am on the side of the road. What about you?”

 “Nosy.” She smirked. “I was dropping my friend Sian at the train station. Tried to take a shortcut back and my engine died on me. I’m lucky you were driving past. Who knows who would have picked me up?”

 Her smile was warm on Bernie’s face; conjuring distant memories of the sun. “Well I’m glad I could help. Surprised you didn’t call that policeman friend of yours. I’m sure he’d have picked you up in a flash.”

 Her nose wrinkled. “Robbie’s lovely but…calling him would mean I’d feel indebted to him. I don’t really like the thought of that.”

 “I understand. I’ve always preferred standing on my own two feet.”

 “Exactly.” Another grin. “Finally, another feminist in Holby. I thought it’d be just me, standing alone on the picket line burning my bra.”

 As she laughed, her smile infectious, Bernie realised that no elaborate deduction was needed to solve this mystery. She was attracted to her. Dark hair that curled at the end. Wicked eyes that brightened when she laughed. Soft, pink lips. A long, shapely neck. Bernie gripped the steering wheel so hard she almost broke it. Maintain control. You are not an animal. Yet in her mind’s eye she could see herself burying her mouth in the curve of her throat. Could imagine her gasp of pleasure; the bite of pain. Fielding had been too cloying; Bernie could still taste him at the back of her throat. She would be different. Like a rich red wine.

 You are not an animal.

 “It’s just here, thanks!”

 Bernie pressed her foot sharply on the brake, occupying her hands with the gearshift and handbrake lest she give in to her body’s cravings. Unaware of her Samaritan’s desires, the woman fished her handbag out from the back seat and popped open the passenger door. Bernie glanced up at the woman’s house; at the light illuminated in the front window. A woman, likely her mother, came out. She was toying with a silver crucifix around her neck. Of course.

 “Of course she’s still up. Treating me like I’m fifteen rather than twenty-bloody-five,” she spat, shoulders hunched. Tossing her bag onto the pavement, she then leant back into the car and pressed her lips to Bernie’s cheek. They were warm, wet, and Bernie felt that bloodlust rush through her. “Thank you for the lift; I really do appreciate it. Little word of advice, though, I’d clean that red paint off your back seat before it sets. Vinyl is a bugger to clean.”

 For the second time that night, Bernie’s mouth fell open. She only closed it when her passenger was safely inside number sixty-six. You were lucky. But her luck would run out. Bernie quickly pushed the car into gear and returned to her journey home. She kept Fielding’s car until she reached a deserted industrial area. Tossed whatever meagre belongings she’d managed to save into the black duffel with the rest of Fielding’s money.

 Bernie then took out the petrol can she’d paid for back at the service station and dumped it all over the car. She left the flames flickering in the distance as she made the long walk to her sanctuary. The image of Fielding’s last breath, her reason for returning to Holby, was quickly replaced by memories of dark eyes, a bright smile. Bernie had lived for over a hundred years. She had seen countries that the books had forgotten about and met people long since dead. Yet this woman was perhaps the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

 --

 Serena McKinnie did not often find women attractive. But, by God, the stranger who had picked her up was bloody gorgeous.

 She hadn’t believed her luck when she’d seen the battered old Volvo pull up beside her. Robbie’s warnings regarding safety at night were quickly ignored once she’d seen the blonde with the dark, almost haunting eyes. She’d known it was reckless. As much as she told herself she didn’t have a choice (no one else was coming to help her), Serena knew the risks of jumping into a car with a stranger. The young blonde with the long hair and the dark glasses; who stammered when Serena smiled at her. Been a while since I’ve had that effect on a woman.

 “You should have called, ‘Rena.”

 Serena bristled at the nickname; her mother’s admonishments ruining her good mood.  “I’m sorry, Mum. I couldn’t find a phone box.”

 Her apologies did not placate Adrienne McKinnie. She followed Serena through the front door and up the stairs; her dressing gown pulled as tight as her frown. “You shouldn’t have been out in the first place. It’s the Sabbath.”

 She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Funnily enough, the NHS doesn’t plan its staff rotas around your faith, Mum.”

 “Sian is a bad influence on you. And who was that woman in the car?”

 Serena reached her bedroom door; fingering the fraying poster of David Bowie as the Goblin King. I wonder if that works on mothers. “I’m sorry, Mum, but it’s late and I worked a double shift today. Can I please get some sleep?”

 Adrienne pursed her lips. “We’ll discuss this again over breakfast, ‘Rena. Surely if you explained-“

 “Night Mum.”

 Serena quickly closed her door, heading off another conversation about how unacceptable it was for her to help the sick and injured on a Sunday. It wasn’t that she didn’t have faith. She hadn’t been Head Girl at St Winifred’s for nothing. But since her father had passed, her mother had become almost obsessive. Serena’s absence at Sunday services and choir practice were noted over breakfast, upon Serena’s arrival home from work. Once upon a time, top grades were the only thing that could placate her mother. Now it was daily prayer.

 Thank god I’m off. Boxes packed; moving date set. Crummy little flat in the second from dodgiest part of Holby. But it would be hers. Serena smiled as she thought about coming home to her home, to her bottle of Shiraz. Looking out the window onto a quiet city, Serena wondered where her Good Samaritan had ended up. Not that she’d ever do anything. If she brought a girl home, her mother would have kittens.

 Still, it was nice to daydream. Fantasise about blonde strands floating in the breeze. Thin lips and the most wonderful laugh. Eyes that looked like they wanted to devour her whole. Collapsing on her bed, Serena sighed and closed her eyes.

 She dreamt of her.

#berena #mine: sneak peek sunday #ship: berena #tv: holby city

[totallyrhettro]

Another Me, Chapter 1

Word Count: 2225 Rating: PG-13 Warnings: None Summary: This time, Rhett was really going to do it. He had tried maybe a thousand times over the past thirty-odd years to tell Link how he really felt, but this time he was finally going to actually succeed. At least, that was the plan, but when another version of the six-foot seven bearded internetainer appears out of nowhere during their weekend getaway, Rhett's carefully laid plans are quickly pushed aside. Notes: AU, Present day, Rhett and Link aren't married

Also available on ao3!

“Stonehenge!” Rhett’s voice rang out through their shared office and Link jumped in his seat. He was used to his best friend and co-host’s propensity to become over excited but the shouting was usually not expected.

“What?” he asked, not sure what conversation Rhett had obviously been having with himself that led to such a random conclusion. Rhett crossed the room with a few long strides, grabbed his own chair by the back and swung it around to sit on it next to his lifelong friend.

“That’s where we should film Buddy System season three!” he enthused. “It’s perfect!”

“We haven’t written Buddy System season three,” Link reminded him, giving him an incredulous look. “We haven’t even started writing a Buddy System season three.” Rhett wasn’t deterred in the slightest, patting his friend on the back in his exuberance.

“But we will!” he insisted. “And when we do we should definitely include scenes from Stonehenge. We could even film the entire season in England! I’m sure our European viewers will love that.”

“That’ll be expensive,” Link mulled, trying not to sound like he was into the whole idea. “We’d probably have to get permits just to film there, not to mention flying us and our crew and equipment over there-”

“I thought about that,” Rhett interrupted. “I figured we could save loads if we just go by ourselves. Think of it!” he continued, getting more excited again. “You me, a few cameras- it’ll be just like the old days. The team can do the editing when we get back, or we can email them the footage but think of it!” Link was thinking of it and Rhett’s suggestions weren’t making him more interesting in any of it. There was a reason they didn’t film like they did ‘in the old days’, why they paid so many people to help them out. Their videos were better when they had professionals filming and directing. Much better.

“What about a cast?” he wondered. “A director, a script? We can’t just go off half-cocked with handheld cameras and start filming without anyone to help us.” Sympathetic to Rhett’s urge to create and dive head-first into action, Link tilted his head. “What if you and I go to Stonehenge-” Rhett’s eyes lit up anew- “And just do some scouting, scope the place out, maybe check out other possible locations in England. We can get a feel for the place and maybe get some inspiration for a script.” Rhett considered this for a moment.

“Can we bring a camera or two? A good one?” At the very least he could get some stock footage while they were there.

“Sure. It’ll be like a vacation.” After the end of season thirteen they could really use one. It had been a long half-year. Besides he was certain Rhett’s obsession with filming season three in England would fade after a week or so. Many of his obsessions usually did.

“I can’t remember the last time we had a vacation together,” Rhett noted, thinking back. “With just the two of us.” There was a glint in his eye that both frightened and thrilled him. These times used to be quite rare but it seemed that in the past few years they were becoming more frequent. Times when Rhett’s gaze left Link with a strange feeling in his chest and stomach, one he didn’t quite understand but feared nonetheless.

Rhett, meanwhile, was having very different thoughts. In another universe his suggesting a vacation for the two of them might have been sweet, even romantic, but not in this version of reality. Here they were just friends, had always been and always would be, much to his disappointment. Still he clung to hope, it was all that kept him going some days. Time and time again he would set things up for the two of them, giving Link every opportunity to take the first step. He was too afraid to say anything, lest he lose Link as a friend entirely. He didn’t want to make things awkward between them. It would break his heart if the life they had spent decades making together was jeopardized.

The last few years Rhett had been unable to find any time to be alone with Link, not anywhere romantic and isolated. They had almost gone to Mexico for Thanksgiving vacation but hotels were switched at the last minute. Rhett did have a lovely time in Hawaii by himself but it wasn’t the same. Maybe this vacation would be different. He could only hope.

“Just for a few days,” Link was saying. “Alright? I want to spend some of our break back home.” Home being North Carolina. The two of them grew up together there, though they had moved cross country almost ten years ago. It was nice to get back, once in a while, but there were times when Rhett hated it. Home often reminded him of all the mistakes he had made there, all the mistakes with Link.

“Sure, yeah, of course,” he assured Link, even though he would have loved to spend month overseas. “Cheer up!” he added, seeing Link’s look of trepidation. “It’ll be fun!”

~ ~ ~

Over the last thirty plus years of their friendship, Rhett had tried to figure out exactly where he had gone wrong with Link but he could never pin it down to just one moment. Whether he was trying to protect his own reputation or was just too scared to come out to his best friend, Rhett had never been able to tell him how he felt. As time passed and they grew older it became even harder to reveal the truth about his deep affection for the Link, thinking it would just ruin what they already had, scare Link off, or worse: make the man that he deeply loved hate him for what he felt. It was too much to hope that his feelings were shared.

So he trudged on, trying to be happy with the life they had built together, the company they had created that thrived and grew. For the most part he was happy, happy that they got to make great content, their content, and actually get paid for it. Rhett had a great life in Los Angeles, a dream location with a dream job, but there were times when life slowed down long enough for him to remember what he didn’t have, the one thing he didn’t have. True he had tried to fill the void in his heart with other people, other friends, even other relationships, but nothing worked. No one could replace Link, no one came close. Rhett loved Link more than anything and anyone in the world but he seemed to be the only person that he couldn’t have, not like that.

Every day he told himself he’d get over Link, that he’d move on, and everyday he loved that man more. Everyday it got worse.

“Did we get two rooms this time?” Link wondered as they strode out of the airport onto the streets of Southampton, England. They were about half an hour’s drive to Stonehenge and only a few minutes away from the hotel. The city wasn’t exactly the English countryside but Tripadvisor and Yelp both told Rhett that there would be plenty of that on this trip.

“Since you were so worried about me spending money I booked us one room.” Link made a face. “We have our own beds,” Rhett added. “Don’t worry.” He would have dearly loved to share a bed with his friend again but he didn’t want to push things. Not this time. He’d done that before in the past and it usually didn’t end well. “Besides I plan on spending most of my vacation outside of the hotel. Not just at Stonehenge but other places as well. I have a whole itinerary.” At that Link had to smile approvingly; he did enjoy an organized vacation. Shifting his backpack on his shoulder he followed behind his friend towards the parking lot where their rental car waited for them. He had a few reservations about this trip but he was looking forward to seeing the sights.

Their hotel was a Holiday Inn, nothing too fancy or expensive, and their third floor room had a lovely view of the River Test. Rhett had thought that a strange name for a river until he looked up what it meant on Google. Turns out it was believed to be celtic in origin, possibly from the word that meant tumult or uproar. He wondered if staying in a room by such a named river was going to be prophetic in anyway but dismissed the thought as silly superstition. Link didn’t really give it any mind, he just liked the view.

“This is great, Rhett!” he remarked, looking out the window. “I can’t believe you booked such a great room.”

“Oh, thanks,” Rhett replied sarcastically. His fake annoyance faded almost instantly into a smile as Link smiled back.

“You know what I mean. I’m amazed that this room was available.”

“You should come on vacations with me more often, Link.” Rhett twisted his eyebrows and puffed out his chest. “I am the master of vacation planning.” Link threw a pillow at him.

“Okay, master vacationer. What’s first on our agenda?” Rhett chucked the pillow back at him.

“Why, food of course!”

~ ~ ~

Dinner was at Nicole’s Restaurant, a small local place with a buffett and huge booths for seating. It was a nice place, dressed up a bit fancier than its size would imply but the food wasn’t bad. They were practically the only ones in there, too. It was a bit late for supper but Rhett and Link were still adjusting to the five hour time difference. Besides, they were both very hungry after that plane ride.

The two of them had snagged the corner booth and Rhett felt the all too familiar twinge of anticipation. He squeezed into the seat next to his friend, as he always did, sitting just a tad closer than he needed to. Link didn’t say a word, he never did. They had always sat too close, always on the same side of tables, mere inches away. He didn’t mind, he found Rhett’s presence comforting. It was a strange, warm, feeling that he never thought too hard about. He always assumed this was how all friends were. At least, best friends.

“I think we should scout Stonehenge first thing tomorrow,” he suggested, pushing his empty plate away. Rhett had finished ages ago and was already checking out the desert menu. “It’s supposed to rain one of these days and I don’t want to get caught in a big open field when that happens.”

“Sounds good to me,” Rhett agreed. He really was anxious to see the famous Stonehenge, this vacation wasn’t just a ploy to get Link alone. If they could get some scenes filmed for their next Buddy System season in England it would be fantastic for the series. “Maybe after we can go see Salisbury Cathedral.”

“I feel like we should be eating more salisbury steak,” Link joked. “In honor of the Salisbury plains.”

“I’m all for that, but I’m pretty sure they pronounce it ‘saws-bree’ here.”

“Good ol’ sawsbree,” Link riffed. “Sounds more like a cheese.” Rhett nodded in agreement, his eyes hardly straying from his friend’s face. The hour was late enough and the town so middle-of-nowhere, he couldn’t help but feel much more free to be himself, to stare and not have people wonder. Here, in the darkened corner of this little restaurant, he could pretend that this was more than just a friendly dinner, he could pretend for his heart’s sake. Under the dim lights Link’s eyes twinkled beautifully, enticing Rhett to get forever lost in gentle blue. Then Link met his gaze and he had to turn away.

Don’t let him know, don’t let him suspect, not yet. Too soon.

Shifting in his seat Rhett bumped his leg against Link’s, casual and seemingly accidental. It was his old standby and, in his mind, it got him a number of girlfriends when he was much younger. Meanwhile he waved for the waiter so he could order the tasty dessert he had been eyeing earlier. Link was left to wonder about the sudden heat in his cheeks, the tingle in his stomach. It wasn’t the first time the two of them bumped legs. They’d touched each other in all sorts of awkward ways over the years for their internet show. Of course they weren’t filming their show right now, there was no need to hide the effect Rhett had on him, one he didn’t want to admit he didn’t all together dislike.

Coughing, he shifted slightly away, choosing to ignore, always ignore. He didn’t want this lovely night to be ruined by his stupid thoughts. He was just tired and jet-lagged, that had to be it. Another reason, another excuse, one more to add to his pile. Orderly and organized were his excuses, filed away in the back of his mind where he could shut them away for good. No way was he going to explore what his feelings meant. It was too dangerous, too risky. Best to just play it off, as he always did. Silly things, silly Link.

Silly, silly heart.

Next Chapter

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#rhett #link #rhink #fanfic #fanfiction #another me #this story is complete #will post again tomorrow! #photomanip #or my bad attempt at it #pretty in pink

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Letters to the Editor (October 16, 2018)

(Image courtesy usmint.gov)

Palladium Eagle sellout not result of favoritism

Small town dealer response to: “Palladium Eagle sellout and dealer offer upsetting” (from Sept. 14, 2018, online letter to editor that I read).

Don’t get mad at the U.S. Mint, as no favoritism was extended to dealers. Several large dealers offered to buy the 2018-W palladium Eagle coins from their smaller dealer and direct mail client lists. We sold ours for a quick turnover profit.

Sit back and see if the prices drop and then buy on the aftermarket to save money, or wait a year or two and buy the coin if it has a proven market demand.

Fred Beihl Rare Coins, Auctioneer Stewartstown, Pa.

  Hobby undermined by 70 points; what will 100 do?

This question has pushed my hot button. One thousand times no!

The present 70-point scale has done more to undermine the coin collecting hobby than any other past decision. By making grading so difficult and complex, novice collectors are easily scared off from the hobby. The system has generated tens of millions of dollars for grading services at the expense of collectors and investors.

Investors and novice collectors have been harmed by overgraded certified coins issued by fly-by-night grading services. The system has given a bad name to the hobby, resulted in the departure of many collectors and discouraged potential new ones. I attribute the long-term decline of the hobby as due to excessive valuations precipitated by grading mania.

In fact, I decided to never join the American Numismatic Association precisely because of its decision to adopt the 70-point scale. The system has resulted in widespread grading abuse and misrepresentation of value. For years, I have watched people argue about whether a coin certified as an MS65 really isn’t an MS64.

Now, what will a 100-point system do? It will make all existing slabs obsolete. Those wanting to participate in the grading game will pay to have all their coins graded again.

Collectors who have figured out the current system will have to learn how to grade under the new system. More of the current pool of collectors will abandon the hobby. Investors will more easily be ripped off. New collectors will be less likely to stay in the hobby. More arguments about grading will occur.

After over 30 years of professional certification, I still prefer to buy uncertified coins in order to avoid arguments about the designated grades on the slabs. Collectors are not capable of greater grading precision without extensive, expensive training. Why take the fun out of the hobby?

If the objections I have raised are insufficient to kill the idea, go ahead and try it. I guarantee that I will not buy any coins graded using a new 100-point scale. Nor will I do business with anyone who trades in coins graded using a 100-point scale. If coin dealers universally decide to go with it, I will leave the hobby.

I remember visiting a dealer who graded his own coins rather than pay a certification service. I immediately departed his table when I saw a Morgan dollar graded MS62.5.

I was going to argue that the coin was only an MS62.4, but I knew that I would be wasting my time.

Bruce Frohman Modesto Calif.

  No to 100, but get rid of present grading system, too

My opinion on this subject is completely opposite. We should not only avoid adopting a new grading scale but also eliminate the current one altogether. I’ll explain why I feel this way and why it’s made me stop collecting/investing in rare coins.

Coin grading is very subjective. You can get a dozen top graders in a room from the top grading companies (NGC, PCGS, etc.), and maybe two or three will agree on a specific grade. I’ve held thousands of graded coins in all grades and no two graded alike will ever have the same look, quality, etc., especially between two grading companies.

Also, the grading companies set the pricing standards based on their graded coins. Specifically, PCGS on its website states: “The PCGS Price Guide prices apply only to PCGS-graded coins. The PCGS Price Guide is a guide to assist the coin buying public in determining values for all important United States rare coins. Before you use the Price Guide, you should read the following information very carefully.”

If there’s a standard grading range, why isn’t the pricing standard per grade? Why would an NGC coin MS65 be less than a PCGS coin graded MS65 or vice versa? Another problem is coin graders are also coin dealers. How can you have the foxes guarding the hen house?

Coin grading was established to allow the dealers to extract more money from collectors and investors. This, in my opinion, is why the market is so soft now and has been for a long time even in this booming economy. Coin grading has taken the fun out of collecting and made it a business for the rich.

Coin grading should consist of only genuine or counterfeit. Rarity should drive the price and what each individual is willing to pay based on his own opinion of the coin for his collection.

Greg Bose Torrance, Calif.

  Gong’s passing reminds us that friends are important

In candor, I have to admit that most of our exchanges and discussions that the late Lee H. Gong (1950-2018) and I had usually were in argument and disagreement, quite heated and temperamental.

This may account for Lee’s attempt on the “Queen of the Mist” in Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada, to push me over. For years after, Lee would say, “didn’t push hard enough!”

But, through the 30-plus years that we were involved with our world of money, we remained committed to our hobby and to each other as friends.

There were rituals that we shared; our road trips, mostly reminiscing about the hobbyists that we had known, keeping our compatriot Lloyd G. Chan wearing headphones, and visiting coin shops.

Of course, since I was always the driver, in Lee’s huge GM full-sized pickup, it never failed: “stop, here’s a baseball field.” One of Lee’s passions was baseball; he once, during the 2006 American Numismatic Association Denver, Colo., World’s Fair of Money, endured with me at the then third-longest game in Major League baseball!

While baseball was a passion, Lee’s true love was error coins. For example, at the annual San Jose (California) Coin Club Show for years, he would set up his quite informative exhibit, staffing all three days of the show. At times, I would be positioned next to him at my combination table, witnessing Lee spending hours and hours expounding on error coins to anyone at his table.

In 2005, I was able to have Lee join the Babe Ruth of Errors’ team (his term) during the ANA’s San Francisco, Calif., World’s Fair of Money: the late Alan Herbert, Fred Weinberg, Syd Kass and Xan Chamberlain. The only time these five greats were ever together, sharing their error coin passion.

His other devotion and sincere support was to his beloved Redwood Empire (Santa Rosa, Calif.) Coin Club, for which he must have served over two decades as vice president and was partner in the dynamic duo with its long-serving President Merle V. Avila. They created an exemplary and enthused local coin club that might be the standard for what a good local coin club should be.

In fact, Lee preferred local coin clubs. His defense was simple: They are distant from the pantheon of the national elitist organizations plus the major auction houses with their glossy catalogs, or the established regional groups. There are the local coin clubs, as Lee would remark, “the grass-roots” of our hobby, with numerous local activists in the trenches, as he would add.

Lest it be forgotten, Lee’s other devotion was to the now closed G&G Market, his family-owned and operated business in Sonoma County for over a half a century, plus the only supermarket to issue its own wooden money and silver rounds. Many in Sonoma County grew up shopping only at G&G Market.

I could ramble further. In the end, I state that Lee and I were friends and equally intense servants for our world of money hobby. His passing is my loss and burden.

I am loth to close; yet, this quotation gives me hope and gives testimonial to our friendship:

“The bond between friends cannot be broken by chance; no interval of time or space can destroy it. Not even death itself can part true friends.”

RIP, Lee, My Friend

Michael S. Turrini Vallejo, Calif.

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