#A Sister Like You

[lgbtlunaverse]

Obsessed with characters who portray themselves as worse than they are. Who are lying to everyone including themselves about it. People generally assume if someone's lying about themselves they're trying to look better but sometimes they're trying to look worse. They attribute agency to where they had none, add intend to accidents, try to convince everyone that this is something they did instead of something that happened to them.

#this is about tenko bnha #but it is also about dahlia ace attorney #watch the nezumiVA videos on ace attorney trilogy they're great #anyway dahlia saying she (at like. 6 years old) apparently convinced her father to abandon her sister. hmmm #also everyone including herself thinking of her as the manipulator in control with terry when she was 14 dating a 20 y/o #anyway these characters both did do terrible things but feel the need to pile on more and remove nuance from where it exists #to convince themselves that this is what they really want. that they chose this. #it's about the loss of control it's about being a victim feeling worse than being a villain #at least if you were the bad guy you had autonomy #shimura tenko #shigaraki tomura #dahlia hawthorne

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

#autism #neurodivergent #adhd #fun facts #GOD I’m such an idiot #anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :( #I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact #that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :( #it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club #or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him #or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom #no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world #sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know #and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care

[sheepgirlmaidtummy]

man. this whole thing pisses me off because like. even when people talk about staff having a history of hating trans women, that this isnt the first time, without fail black trans women are forgotten to be included again and again. im not surprised this caused such an uproar when the popular white woman gets deleted. nobody should be, its been that way like forever. some cunt in my inbox got annoyed i called rita a sex worker (lol? okay)

but i mentioned that in my post because so many black trans women have gotten removed from this site for their sex work alone, regardless of if it "broke community guidelines" or not, especially when tumblr live and the ads on this website are so fucking horny. idek what to say rn because like. this wont get as many notes as the posts talking about her will. the exploding car thing is gonna get more attention than the trans women on this site you dont actually care about listening to. ive been talking about how unfair it is to be a black tgirl on this site for years and nobody cares.

i love rita, we talked abit the other day and she's doing fine, dont get it twisted and think i hate her or some bs, she's a big fucking reason im not fucking homeless.

but part of why her deletion got to #1 trending on tumblr for multiple days in a row is that she's white

#reblog this you fuckers. im tired of you people saying you care about us. about my sisters and then ignore us like we never existed #gonna have to put abuncha these tags here again too otherwise literally nobody will see. i got abuncha new followers for that post #yall better Do Something other than performative bullshit for once #whatever. whatever. #predstrogen #photomatt #transgender #trans rights #black trans lives matter #black trans women #carhammerexplosionmatt

[thewhetherman]

Behold the lumpfish. Very beautiful. Very powerful.

#2024 #I hope you like your lumpship sister of mine

[lazylittledragon]

the only thing scarier than vampire lords/mind flayers/death cults is meeting the in-laws

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #i feel like he’s good at schmoozing but i’m not sure how much he would actually Enjoy it #he gives me extroverted introvert #being surrounded by a few hundred very pretty wood elves for a weekend is probably quite nice though #he might have a bitch sesh with dorian’s sisters #also i will keep making his outfits cuntier if it kills me #what’s that post about how wyll is the only character you could realistically bring home without disaster

[jay-wasstuff]

The 'own way' Vanessa spoke of:

#she was funny. but not funny haha. funny weird. #'how dare you endanger your sister' like sis your father has done more than endanger children but go off on the broke guy trying to make it #fnaf #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #mike schmidt #vanessa monroe #elizabeth afton #josh hutcherson #elizabeth lail #william afton #halloween #spooky season #fnaf movie spoilers

[bakedbeanchan]

Drawing from a mini comic where the timeline is reset but Zuko still has all his memories

Minicomic here

#baked bean originals #I just like drawing sokkas mortified face and then checked out #absolutely humiliated by some fire nation ponytail freak and then your little sister and that stupid bald kid want to befriend him after he #starts lying about how you all were friends in a parallel universe or whatever #that's rough buddy #just realized it looks like zuko's doing some pathetic little thumbs up here #avatar the last airbender #atla #sokka #zuko #katara #aang

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton has bad eating habits in FNAF

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #fnaf #michael afton #fnaf vanessa #vanessa shelly #vanessa afton #fnaf movie #sister location #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #These are canon foods Michael likes btw #EXPECT for disappointment but doesn’t it just makes sense he’d like that #We’ve seen him eat exclusively junk food #in the survival logbook Michael mentions you get free pizza working at Freddy’s #and also that he chews bubblegum every shift #Vanessa isn’t impressed AT ALL by Michael’s diet 💀 #it’s actually impressive he has the energy to do five nights at Freddy’s

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[halogalopaghost]

TIL that you can assign an AO3 next of kin to control your account in case of your death???

#ao3 #this is actually really neat #I had a will at one point that included passwords and usernames specifically for my sister so she could manage certain social media #including my fanfic accounts #if anything happened to me #I need to update it it's been like...idk a decade #who makes a will when they're sixteen you might ask #ppl who want to be dead I will answer very seriously while shaking my bottle of SSRI like a baby rattle

[anna-scribbles]

inspired by recent events from my sister’s actual real life

#i feel crazy you guys. i feel crazy about it. #stabby #(<- her requested tag) #i listened to a playlist this boy made her today and😭😭😭😭guys romance is alive and real. for my sister #anyway #ml #my art #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #adrinette #adrienette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #he booked flights to come and visit her…the day after meeting her.. #they hadn’t even talked yet he didn’t even know if she liked him…and he was booking flights on the off chance that she might want to see him #again #sorry but adrien agreste behavior😭😭😭😭

[bxnnie-bxwl]

to me they are brothers....and dads

#do you see the vision!!!! #ft freddy is the chaotic fun uncle who would just hold greg like that KSHGDFHGS #they are bear papas!!! with their respective cubs #art #fnaf #fnaf security breach #glamrock freddy #fnaf sister location #funtime freddy

[excali8ur]

Short sibling oppression

#Based on a true story (my sister is like half a foot taller than me) #art #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #2012 raph #2012 donnie #donnie #raph #teenage mutant ninja turtles #You can tell I forgot how to draw them because this is weirdly on-model (I was forced to use references)

[bookwyrminspiration]

being an older sibling is like. you've never known a life without me. mom yelled at me and it taught her she never wanted to yell at you. I painted my room purple and grey and then you did too. we live in the same house but I haven't spoken to you in months. I don't know your favorite color. I saw it was going to rain so I picked you up from school on my way home so your books wouldn't get wet. i was so worried when you woke up sick when you were three. you don't remember being sick. mom and dad made their worst mistakes with me and I'm glad they didn't make them with you. I'm doing everything for the first time so you won't be in the dark. I don't know any of your friend's names anymore. I used to know them all. if something happens to mom and dad you won't have to worry because everything will fall to me. you don't like to be home alone but even if you don't see me just knowing I'm there makes you feel better. at least that's what mom told me. you still give me jars to open for you because you can't quite get them. I only see you during dinner. i'd never even think about missing one of your concerts. I stand at the counter when I eat and now you do, too. when offered a selection of books you picked the same one I did when i was your age. I'm terrified you compare yourself to me. I love you. I don't know if you like me. I want you to. mom says dinner's ready

#quil's unholy underworld #siblings #sibling relationship #older sibling #eldest sibling #listen. #does any of this make sense #this has all been just circulating in my heard forever and I had to put the words somewhere #so now the words are on tumblr #do you get what I'm saying #i don't know who my sister is but like. we're right next to each other. she's just down the hall #something something it's already a poem just look at it it's on the ceiling #but instead it's we're a poem just feel it we're standing right here

[fettiowi]

The funny thing about figuring out youre neurodivergent is looking through your family and starting to notice youre definitely not the only one

#actually the reason i got diagnosed was because my cousin got diagnosed as autistic #and then my dad looked at me like 'wait hold on this applies to fetti too' #and now im looking at my dad like it applies to you as well #and now im looking at my uncle like 'yeah you too definitely' #also my sister has ADHD #and another cousin of mine definitely is giving off some adhd vibes to me #why are all of us like this geez #fetti talks #neurodivergence #autism

[lazylittledragon]

you know what fuck it we’re doing dadstarion

#bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #idk if this is canon to the dorianverse yet but he looks like a little hobbit!!! #this is a Long long long time post brain i think. since they’ve sorted out the daywalker thing #i don’t think he’d be affectionate but i think he’d be VERY protective #they’re not bad parents in the way that they neglect or mistreat him or even just don’t love him #i think they love him to death but you just shouldn’t give your small child a KNIFE #this one is my favourite sister bc she reminds me of robin