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#spooky season

I had the best intrusive thought at work today.

I work at Target and I have to clean the self checkouts after every guest comes thru. I have a fungal growth on my finger because they never wash the rags we use to clean. So today. I put on one glove to cover the growth and protect the rest of my hand from the dirty rag I have to hold my entire shift. And then. I thought about Michael Jackson’s one shiny glove. Also it’s spooky season, so Michael Jackson plus spooky season equals thriller. And then I began choreographing a flash mob.

I did this my whole shift.

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when everyone is posting all the cute halloween shit theyre doing with their significant other and im over here watching spooky movies alone cause i cant even keep a guy interested in me for more than a few months 🤷🏻‍♀️🤘🏻 im better on my own

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I just went to my town’s haunted corn maze and let me tell you, I had a blast. While I was there:

  • I was more scared in line to get in than in the actual maze
  • The only time I actually screamed was about 2 seconds after we got in when someone jumped out at us
  • After that when people would jump out I would just jump and yell “HI!” instead of actually screaming
  • At some point I just stopped being scared of them and started making chit chat
  • There was a guy dressed like a clown I think and he started following us and I was like “oh you wanna come with us?” And he said “do you want to play?” (very scary clearly) and I said “Sure dude what do you want to play? Tag? Softball? Soccer?” Then I realized he stopped following us and I said “Aww man he doesn’t want to play with us”.
  • My favorite was a guy in doctors robes who was covered in blood and had an axe and I said “Oh, are you a doctor?” And he said “I’m a surgeon,” and I said “Oh cool is that your scalpel?” (pointing you his axe) and he just dropped his creepy voice and said “No, this is clearly an axe,” and then to the people behind us “these people clearly don’t get it.” And as we walked away I was like “Can I call you if I ever need surgery? Will you give me a discount?”
  • There was a shirtless man with a chainsaw right at the end and my friend and I agreed that the scariest part was the fact that he was shirtless because ew men

Overall I think I handled it pretty well considering I don’t usually like scary things.

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