#GOD I’m such an idiot

[maxgicalgirl]

Being a “Fun Fact !” kind of autistic is all fun and games until you get halfway through sharing an interesting tidbit and realize that it probably wasn’t appropriate to share in polite company and now you have to deal with the consequences :(

#autism #neurodivergent #adhd #fun facts #GOD I’m such an idiot #anyways now a 10 year old is out there looking up swear words online and it’s all my fault :( #I got so excited by the fact that I knew a fun fact #that I didn’t stop to think that maybe not everyone knows that fun fact for a reason :( #it’s like explaining how to successfully bury a body at a book club #or explaining the dangers of Scientology to your sister’s boyfriend the first time you meet him #or debating gay sex positions with your best friend in front of your mom #no matter how much I wish to be a beacon of knowledge in this world #sometimes there are things others just don’t want to know #and consciously that’s valid but the autism ? I does not care

[loulooser]

I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna text her I’m not gonna-

#we all know how this ends #god I’m such an idiot

[blackasmyhangryfurrybrokensoul]

I want to feel your hug a million times over. 

#I should get over them #no #Though #i don’t want to #just that is enough to make me feel happy I’m alive #they are just so #idk #frick #I’m gonna be stuck like this aren’t I #it’s fine though #whats a few more years #this week was awesome though #god I’m such an idiot

[alittlelessalone]

Fun Scum Villain fic concept:

So Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua are sent back to their original world temporarily due to system shenanigans and need to wait x number of days until they can go back. They wake up at the times of their deaths and get to use this time to do some final things in the world before returning back.

So Shen Yuan of course wants to spend the time with his family and getting to see them again and say goodbye in a less depressing way. But Shang Qinghua doesn’t have that and he’s just finished PIDW.

Shen Yuan makes sure he has enough money to get him through the timeframe (after learning about Shang Qinghua’s financial situation), so he doesn’t need to work to keep himself alive, so he decides he wants to write something a little more heartfelt as a sort of last hurrah.

He decides in honor of the two lives he and Shen Yuan stole, he’s going to share the backstory of Shen Jiu and write a story about Shang Qinghua.

Shen Jiu comes first and it’s mainly just a tale about him and Yue Qingyuan using his unposted backstory, but in the end he decides to make some minor changes so it’s not as depressing. Namely, that when they died, their souls were both sucked into Xuan Su. The pair ended up trapped there, but they were trapped there together in a world that couldn’t hurt them anymore and allowed them to finally be together.

It’s a poignant and bittersweet story that doesn’t excuse Shen Jiu’s behavior, but it does a lot to explain it and expand his character. And while it of course has its detractors, people generally like it and Peerless Cucumber is there in the comments singing its praises for all to see (and there in Shang Qinghua’s apartment smacking him over the head with a rolled up magazine and scolding him for being by such a good writer and selling out on PIDW).

The Original Shang Qinghua story doesn’t really have any old notes to go off. He was never meant to be a fleshed out character and was always just a plot device villain. But Shang Qinghua feels bad for PIDW’s Mobei-Jun, so he decides to write something for his sake too.

In this story, it’s revealed that Mobei-Jun didn’t actually kill the Original Shang Qinghua, but instead worked with him to fake his death after Lou Binghe ordered him dead. Shang Qinghua reveals that the pair were actually lovers and maintained their secret relationship over the years and that was why Mobei-Jun never seemed interested in romance.

And most readers are like wtf except for the bl fans who love it. And even Peerless Cucumber is a little more hesitant to praise it since it sort of came out of nowhere, but he can admit that it’s clever and well written. And Shen Yuan can tease Shang Qinghua relentlessly for it, even if he also approves and finds it very sweet.

Depending on how much more time they’re stuck there, maybe the pair can also write one more story, giving the original Lou Binghe a happier ending too.

Eventually, it’s time for them to go back. Shen Yuan says goodbye to has family and Shang Qinghua says goodbye to PIDW and hopes that his changes and additions can bring people some peace, even if it’s probably too late for those who need them most.

Shen Yuan realizes that Shang Qinghua was trying to alter the canon in hidden ways so that the system could silently incorporate them into the world without breaking anything. He figures it’s mainly for Bing-ge’s universe that’s still more or less PIDW, but being the mega-fan that he is, he decides to put a theory to the test.

It takes a lot less time with the help of the sect, but he manages to grow another plant body like his own. And then with Yue Qingyuan’s permission, he uses some of Shang Qinghua’s new hand-wavy canon to reach out to Xuan Su. And the next thing he knows, Shen Jiu is waking back up in the plant body after years trapped inside the sword.

And of course there’s a lot of questions and Binghe tears, but Yue Qingyuan gets his Xiao Jiu back and Shang Qinghua realizes that his changes must have taken in the other universe too, now meaning there’s less suffering there as well. He gets to curl back up in his king’s arms that night and rest assured that no matter what universe he’s in, both his king and that universe’s Shang Qinghua are well and truly loved.

#moshang #qijiu #shang qinghua #svsss #original shang qinghua #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #yue qingyuan #mobei jun #Shang Qinghua really said “if I’m technically god why not use my god powers #he and cucumber are probably better friends now #and he probably has a better relationship with writing now too #the system can’t prove this DIDN’T happen #and now it’s canon so oops! have to follow the rules! #Shen Jiu overheard Yue Qingyuan while in the sword #he has feelings about what his idiotic Qi-ge has said and done but os willing to forgive him now #poor Liu Qingge is probably having a hell of a time during everything but he’ll be fine #maybe he’ll even get a few more friends once everyone starts to adjust!

[shima-draws]

Luffy: Lalala this fortress is so much fun! The food is yummy!! 😊

Jonathan: We captured your boyfriend

Luffy: What. Where the fuck is he. I’m gonna beat your ass

#INSTANT SWITCH DJTMENMGMEENJS #The way his smile IMMEDIATELY fell. Oh my god #Luffy: Tell me where he is RIGHT now I’m going to go rescue him. TELL ME. #ANGY #He’s gonna gomu gomu no beat you the hell up #One Piece #Zolu #Luffy #Zoro #Shima speaks #Sanji facepalming behind the door like. Of COURSE it was Zoro. Who else would be such an idiot

[therabbitthatpostthings]

HMC Movie:

“Sophie your hair is like starlight! Oh my chest hurts, I’m so happy you’re alright love!”

HMC Book:

“FUCK I got a hangover! Please move gorgeous woman I have to go save Sophie! Oh. You ARE Sophie…..so what are you doing later?”

*literal hellspawn less than 5 feet away from them*

“Oh yeah, that.”

*kills it*

“So Sophie what color would you say your hair is?~”

#shitpost #shitposting #hmc #hmc book #hmc movie #howls moving castle book #howls moving castle #howell jenkins #howl pendragon #howl and sophie #sophie pendragon #he’s an idiot your honor #he’s her idiot #I’m not bullshitting that last line btw he actually did ask her #let’s talk about Howell (former rugby player) Pendragon comparing getting his HEART back to a hangover from being piss drunk #GOD I LOVE HIM

[h3artshapedkisses]

It’s the way you can tell most of the lesbian community are full of bi-hets just by how enraged they are by a lesbian saying she’s proud to have never kissed, dated or had sex with a man. Why are you offended by homosexuality? Shouldn’t you be happy for her? Hm..

Also I hate when the fauxbians who have never had sex with a man are like “I just never happened to have sex with a men because no man wanted me lolll I’m a gold star but ashamed to call myself one :((.” Like as very femme young woman who never has done anything even slightly romantic with a men but has had boys ask me to be their girlfriend and even male friends try to ask me for intimacy since a very young age, and has had to put her foot down and firmly say no ever single time, its so weird that they are deliberately erasing gold star’s life experiences to just being “ugly”. If you would have then you are a bisexual. Full stop.

#God we are so fucked #And the worst part about this is it isn’t even new like even older western butch lesbian are fake homosexuals who are just ugly bisexuals #And don’t fit into the male gaze #That’s why they cant imagine femme and conventially attractive women like me being gold star #To them gold star is ‘never got fucked by a man’ not never wanted to have any romance or intimacy with a man #Because if a man asked them out they would have said yes because they are bi #they can’t even began to imagine true female homosexuality that’s why they speak over us gold stars #This is why they either love wearing strap ons or getting strapped too(pillow princess or stone) i blame the older bid-hets once again #Cause they can’t imagine any sex without a dick because to them that is the most ideal form of sex #I am a gold star willingly you idiot not by accident dick lover #They also truly can’t imagine never once wanting to be with a man #To them its just a missed oportunity #Sorry this is so long but yea #Like I’m sorry but older lesbians who aren’t willingly gold star don’t represent me or stand for me #They don’t speak up for me or even want me in their spaces and i sure as hell don’t want them in mine

[hyperfocusthusly]

God *carefully giving each Angel a Demonic soul mate*: ah yes, this will surely teach them about overcoming societal expectations, being truly kind to one another irrespective of difference, and that, above all things, there is love

Also God *watching an elevator door close and a Bentley drive away*: FuCk

#I’m sorry #I wrote this days ago but that shadow ban got me like #so here it is now #I’m manefesting posting this in an unshadowbanned world #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #God #ineffable divorce #ineffable beurocracy #Beelzebub #Gabriel #arch angel gabriel #angels #demons #incorrect quotes #my incorrect quotes #ineffable idiots #aziracrow #micheal #Dagon

[humanthatexistsrn]

aziraphale remembers what crowley was like before he fell. he was so happy, so excited, so amazed by the beautiful universe he started and helped create. his current crowley is so much more cynical now, so often negative about things, so jaded. and sure, aziraphale’s angel shines through just as often. saving kids, saving his books, helping a poor young girl. wouldn’t it be great if that crowley was back? if the baggage of being a demon were gone? if he could do as much good as he pleases, by aziraphale’s side, on the right side? crowley would be far happier, surely. surely.

#i’m going insanneeeeee #aziraphale you idiot but also yeah i get it #YOU IDIOT WE COULD’VE BEEN…. US #they were insane for this oh my god #and SHOWING angel crowley too ohmyggooodddd #BUT HE WOULDN’T BE CROWLEY WITHOUT THE DEMONIC PARTS TOO!! #AZIRAPHALE YOU BLIND BASTARD!!!!! #YOU RELIGIOUSLY TRAUMATISED BASTARD #good omens #good omens s2 #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley

[mishwanders]

• Twilight • Devil’s Teeth •

Summary: Twilight’s transformation goes a bit haywire, but you don’t mind though - you get to help him satisfy his cravings.

Warnings: GN!Reader, Feral Smut. Minors DNI with this one.

Author’s Notes: Written by Mishwanders. Do not take or repost it anywhere as your own.

Twilight wasn’t a werewolf, not by any means. He wasn’t controlled by the moon, bound to it like an angry lover in an eternal dance of longing that ebbed and flowed like tied. Instead, he could transform at a whim, making the cross between man and beast as he pleased with the black and orange shadow crystal that hung around his neck. Even now as he was over you, the crystal never left him and you could feel the stone digging into your skin as pressed his chest flush against your back.

All of that to say, there were distinct lines between the beast and the man that Twilight was, there were rules he had to abide by. But sometimes those lines found themselves blurred, and that’s when he found himself in his most vulnerable and enlightened state, with every single one of his senses heightened beyond compare.

He could hear your breathing as you walked, the subtle gasps, the inflections, the way your heart raced like a prey animal when his gaze fell upon you. The way that it raced even faster once he had you trapped between his body and the closest surface he could find to pin you against, his eyes trailing down you like a hungry predator. He could see you so much more clearly like this, the way your chest rose so much more quickly, how your pupils dilated, how your eyes shined during the orange glow of dusk and the firelight, how your lip parted as if you were asking for him to kiss you. He watched as you placed your hands on his chest, taking hold of his tunic and pulled him in closer.

It wasn’t an offer he was going to refuse, he wasn’t going to push this moment away, because in all honesty, there was a certain craving on his tongue, one that could only be satisfied by you.

He leaned into your pull, his lips meeting yours in a heated kiss. He couldn’t help but draw you in closer as well, his hands finding their place along your hips, at the back of your neck, as he delved his tongue past your lips, getting a taste for his delectable prey. The more heated the kiss grew, the more he wanted, the more he craved you as he dragged his tongue along your chin, down your neck, tasting the salt of your skin, lapping it up like water.

He could smell the scent of your growing more potent with every little action, with every touch. It drew him in deeper to you, pulling at him as if it were his leash to you, yanking him closer and closer to losing all sense of himself to the pleasures he could only find in you. It’s not like he would mind though, he always did love getting lost in you when he had the chance.

It pulled at him to make you his again.

You didn’t seem to mind it though - considering how your hands were in a hurry and hard at work at removing your clothes - as well as his own. With the removal of the fabric though, he could feel every little intimate touch of your skin against his, the soft and delicate way you held him in your arms, the way his shadow crystal dug into his chest as you pressed closer to him. He could feel every bit of warmth that was growing between you, the heat building as you both grew more and more desperate for the other.

He craved you, he was so desperate for more of you. He picked you up in his arms and carried you over to the bed, laying you down like an Angel, one that would soon be caught in the Devil’s teeth. He wanted to have you through the shadows of the night, until the light of the morning came and the sparrow sang. And by the way you were looking at him - you craved him too.

Goddesses, he couldn’t help himself, with that look alone - he gave in to the beast within.

He wondered if you liked this kind of attention, the thrill of the danger when he gave into it. You always did make yourself so open to him and the variety of ways he wanted to have you. You did seem to have a favorite though - one where his chest was pressed against your back, his teeth sinking into the meat of your shoulder, a low growl leaving his throat while his cock was buried deep inside of you, taking every advantage of having so much power to pleasure you. He knew you were sinking into it, the way you hissed and moaned out his name, how you gripped on tightly to the sheets, to the bed frame for dear life as his hips slammed harder into yours with each thrust.

You felt so good to him like this, you tasted divine. He craved you so much and it was always so tempting to keep coming back for more, whether that was when he had you like this or when you had him on his knees with his head between your thighs, ravaging and lapping you up like a thirsty hound.

You were so good to him - he couldn’t stand it much longer.

He released your shoulder from his mouth and nipped at the soft skin of your neck, causing you to whine even more. He intertwined his hands over yours, pressing your palms down onto the bed, trapping you even more, making sure you couldn’t squirm away from him as he continued to chase after his own release with hard snaps of his hips against you.

You were so overwhelming to him in this state, with the taste of your skin in his mouth, the feeling of your body against his, the sound of your voice ringing in his ears, your arousal building and infiltrating his senses - everything about you enraptured him, he was deep in you that he was unable to control himself now. You were a mess for him, crying out his name over and over again, giving into him and the pleasures he provided you while he satisfied his craving for you.

His breath grew hotter, heavier, more ragged as he panted, groaned, and practically growled in your ear with every thrust, hammering his hips into yours, forcing himself deeper into you as he pushed you even further into the bed.

You were such a delight to him and he couldn’t help but give him as he felt the overwhelming sensation of relief amidst his release slam into him. His hips stuttered to a halt against you as he let out a deep groan, his body shuddering from the pleasure running through his veins. He collapsed over you, unable to move as he tried to regain himself. He soon did though and rolled off, panting like a dog as he laid on his back. You moved your head to his side and he could see your tear filled eyes, that blissed out look in them. He wiped them away as he rolled over to face you now, his hand gently caressing your face as his thumb dragged along your swollen bottom lip before he pulled you in for another kiss - one that was soft and gentle. He pulled you in closer to him, wrapping his arms around you, tenderly holding you as rested your head against his chest, hearing how loudly his heart beat for you.

Nothing could get better than this. The two of you laid there together as he laid you down like an Angel in his arms, caught in the devil's teeth.

#lu twilight x reader #lu x reader #loz x reader #tp x reader #twilight princess x reader #link x reader #mdni #spicy writing: twilight #legend of zelda fic #legend of zelda fanfiction #linked universe fanfic #oh my god I finally got this out of my drafts #why is it when I’m the post stressed is when I decide to work on editing? #ALSO I KNOW THE STONE CHANGES IF ITS TOUCHED BUT FOR VIBES JUST GO WITH IT #BE COOL BE COOL #IM NOT AN IDIOT BUT THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I COULD ADD IT IN

[hellverse]

love it when dean rolls his eyes at cas (affectionate) and cas squints at him (derogatory)

#dean is all oh he’s an idiot<3 #and cas is all oh god i’m in love with an idiot #do you get it #talking nonsense #those two

[runningoncaffeine]

One mistake I made when reading ORV for the first time was taking Dokja’s words at face value.

When the shitty idiot(affectionate)dismissed his trauma, assumed he understood the other people and their feelings I took it as he said. What he said I believed.

Now that I’m rereading, I realise just how much of an unreliable narrator that little bastard(very affectionate) is!!! Like I now know why Heewon did what she did! Lock that bastard up, I get you completely now Heewon sweetie. Yup, yup, he needs to get socked a few times in the head

#orv reread #orv #omniscient readers viewpoint #kim dokja #Kim dokja you little shit #god I love that idiot #is this how the rest of kimcom felt??? #yeah probably #Kim dokjaaaaa #jung heewon #kimcom #orv novel #honestly though #all of them would be unreliable narrators #humans in general would be unreliable narrators #kdj #i’m sobbing #help will I ever be normal about this jerk?? #probably fucking not

[chanagun]

#listen guys if I know how to do it I would have made a video with the actual audio but I’m an idiot so #so you get this! #love in the air #love in the air the series #skyprapai #prapaisky #love in the air sky #i was definitely jarred by this given his exs mention before but now I’m CONCERNED #someone get this boy a fluffy blanket and some breakfast god dammit #annie memes #she’s at it again folks!

[merakiui]

going through my drafts is like an archeological excavation because i found another azul wip i had forgotten about. this one is an au i wanted to write in which azul is a vengeful deity who had been forcibly put to sleep hundreds of years ago and is now only just beginning to awaken. the fate of one island rests in the not-so-capable hands of ace, deuce, and reader. and the dynamic really feels like this:

#meraki mumbles #it's another wip i desperately want to finish orz #it's a horror story that takes place on an island but i give deuce spade a gun :D #so maybe there is a chance for reader ace and deuce to beat an actual deity ^^;;;; #deuce: i can’t steal from the police when i’m training to be an officer!!! #ace: dude there isn’t going to be a police force if we don’t stop a literal GOD from killing us all T_T #reader: so what if we just fed him a snack?? maybe he’d go back to sleep :D #they are three idiots your honor how are they going to save an entire island??? orz

[puppyeared]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART #I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal #like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends #who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO #and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom #how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house #so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is #by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone #so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis #already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS #it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of #using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht #ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible #theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other #i remember i really liked the kyoya episode bc him and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close #but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru #i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like #who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in #but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to #put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i #theyre all so. NNGGHHHH #ouran #ohshc #yapping

[lesbianpegbar]

i WILL say that qian jin just being the most sopping wet pathetic (derogatory) character fucked so hard like i didn’t care at all but then they pulled out the yeah he killed his wife who was pregnant with his child for literally no reason other than a hunch lol and it made me laugh so hard at how stupid he is i wanted to throw up

#they kinda pulled me back #the most L bozo character in the whole world oh my god #‘but but i’m a cop i knew she was cheating my investigations are never wrong’ like OKAY die maybe fucking idiot #link click spoilers #shi guang dai li ren #mine