#he’s an idiot your honor

[wynnyfryd]

HELLO. has anyone considered that eddie munson buzzed his own hair in middle school because he had zero impulse control and some older kid at a party offered him $12 to give himself a reverse mohawk

#wayne grumbling to himself on the front porch the next morning while shaving the rest of eddie’s hair off #the battery in his electric razor died bc eddie has so much hair so he #‘had to ask edna to borrow her clippers. hell’s the matter with you son?’ #eddie munson #wayne munson #eddie munson hc #eddie munson has adhd #he’s an idiot your honor

[therabbitthatpostthings]

HMC Movie:

“Sophie your hair is like starlight! Oh my chest hurts, I’m so happy you’re alright love!”

HMC Book:

“FUCK I got a hangover! Please move gorgeous woman I have to go save Sophie! Oh. You ARE Sophie…..so what are you doing later?”

*literal hellspawn less than 5 feet away from them*

“Oh yeah, that.”

*kills it*

“So Sophie what color would you say your hair is?~”

#shitpost #shitposting #hmc #hmc book #hmc movie #howls moving castle book #howls moving castle #howell jenkins #howl pendragon #howl and sophie #sophie pendragon #he’s an idiot your honor #he’s her idiot #I’m not bullshitting that last line btw he actually did ask her #let’s talk about Howell (former rugby player) Pendragon comparing getting his HEART back to a hangover from being piss drunk #GOD I LOVE HIM

[turtleofthehollow]

Lucifer is a man with all the pride and none of the dignity

#he’s an idiot your honor #Hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #Lucifer #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne

[artistocrazy]

Roderich limping out of a bedroom and clearly nursing some kind of injury: Schatz, I don’t know what it is that you do, but mein Gott do you do a body good!

#hetalia #hws austria #wsfn #wnsf #suggestive #the implication is his partners probably roughhouse him and he is surprisingly all for it #he’s an idiot your honor #he just wants to get beat up a little 👉👈 #aushun #pruhun #spaus #fraus #swissaus #turkaus #let the man be a little freaky

[tbtgtr-incorrectquotes]

Aemma: I wanna be cool as Grandpa Corlys

Rhaenys, sipping a martini: i once saw him misplace his silk robe and cry for two hours before he found Laena wearing it.

#tbtgtr #the blacks the greens and the reds #incorrect quotes #aemma targaryen #rhaenys velaryon #corlys velaryon #he’s an idiot your honor #house of the dragon #emma velaryon

[pineapple-frenzy]

Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara

They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them

But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd

The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>

#zutara #zuko #katara #atla #book 2 au #my art #i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭 #so this is how i think it would go #it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls #she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire #she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko #and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj #even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!' #it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers #zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her #little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd #n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her #i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really? #zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful #and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald #in conclusion they are idiots your honor

[jackiesarch]

📷 olly (i want to see my little boy)

classic!

#he’s an idiot your honor #oc: oliver sinclair

[childrenstoryhour]

Story where a husband accidentally wakens his wife’s (who, unbeknownst to either of them, is a sleeper agent) secret agent skills and protocols but he loves her and supports her so just goes along with it.

I imagine her being in a trance-like, robotic state.

“Wow honey, you’ve taken up gun assembling? You’re so talented “

“You want to go to Russia suddenly? Well we never did have a honeymoon.”

“I think it’s so cool you’re doing all this research on world leaders and their security detail I love u baby”

Meanwhile she’s just like: “sleeper protocol deactivated, initiate project [redacted] assassination. Secure transportation. Bring husband memory foam cushion for optimal back support.”

#he’s an idiot your honor #love and support #he tags along on missions like #what a cool tour of the embassy ventilation shaft! #she protects him from harm #and steals a suvonier keychain on the way out

[iamharryhale]

Eddie: Hello Buck, how are you today?

Buck: I hope our children have your eyes.

Eddie:

Buck:

Eddie: What?

Buck: I said ‘good and you’?

#incorrect 911 quotes #incorrect 911 #evan buckley #buddie #incorrect buddie quotes #incorrect buddie #eddie diaz #buddie 911 #buck x eddie #evan x eddie #he didn’t say that #they are idiots and they are in love your honor

[jheselbraum]

"Zelda loves Link and is stressing about it because surely Link, hero of Hyrule, her favored knight, appointed for her protection, and her closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for her. Meanwhile, Link is running around in the background devoting 110% of his being to her and would do anything for her and has actually already confessed, like, five times Zelda just didn't pick up on it because she was overthinking it" and "Link loves Zelda and is stressing about it because surely Zelda, Sage of Time, princess of Hyrule, who must marry royal blood, who lives with Link in his fucking house, who has 10,000 years worth of faith and trust in him, who even as a dragon after she lost her self protected Link, his closest companion and confidante, doesn't actually harbor romantic feelings for him. Meanwhile, Zelda is running around in the background toppling the monarchy and reforging the societal fabric of Hyrule so they can be together. She's also confessed like, five times but Link hasn't picked up on it because he's overthinking it" are two concepts that can coexist

#totk spoilers #kind of #zelink #they're idiots your honor #she's a goddess incarnate with parental issues #he's so anxious he's nonverbal 90% of the time #they both eat rocks #they're idiots #they're awkward #they have no idea what they're doing #I fully believe that after botw link's solution to having feelings for both zelda and sidon was to try and set them up #they put the slow in slow burn #one hundred years wasn't slow enough for these motherfuckers they had to make it 10000

[jedi-starbird]

No one ever tells Obi-Wan that he is his Master's padawan.

Of course, for most people who had known Qui-Gon Jinn, telling someone else they resembled the the man would in fact be a thinly veiled insult. But still, Obi-Wan feels the absence of comparisons almost as strongly as he feels the absence of his Master.

There is no one for Obi-Wan to push against now, no strong presence at his side, ready to grab him by scruff and pull him back from another reckless stunt. It's an odd feeling. He has been set loose against his wishes. There is no one to his left and Anakin at his heels, but Anakin had needed, still needs, a strong, gentle figure for his prickly but sensitive heart. For even their worst bickering could not hold a candle to the scathing remarks he and Qui-Gon had shot at each other and Obi-Wan knows he cannot push and needle Anakin in the same way.

When Qui-Gon had been alive they had been an amusing, mirrored pair, the maverick and his rule-following padawan. Opposites clashing against each other, yet working together to complete the most difficult missions. Few saw that Qui-Gon's impertinence had indeed rubbed off on his padawan, cultivated from that small, angry initiate, because the only way to rebel against the rule-breaker had been to parrot the Council fastidiously. No one would ever get to see that again. Obi-Wan is one half of a mirrored pair trying to complete a routine on his own. What once was an impish, teasing compliance is now a betrayal of all his Master's values.

"How could Qui-Gon raise such a model Jedi?" He hears them say, "It's admirable that Master Kenobi was appointed to the Council despite his Master's maverick ways."

Padawan Kenobi would have yelled and kicked and screamed. Master Kenobi is serene. It should feel like an achievement. It feels like a disappointment.

Sometimes, Obi-Wan looks at the shape of the man he has moulded himself into, and aches to be his Master's padawan.

#I am so totally normal about them. (screaming crying throwing up) #anyway yeah obi wan has daddy issues but in a very specific way that's less i want a father figure and more i require an animal handler #hence why obi wan likes both alpha 17 and cody finally someone to tell him he's being an idiot and be bitchy with him he's missed this #giving the guilt boy MORE guilt complexes over honoring his masters legacy #but god really imagine you spend a decade making yourself the opposite of your master in a funny back and forth you both indulge in but the #BUT THEN!! he fucking dies and you're left alone occupying a dynamic carved for 2 people and everyone tells you they can't see any of your #dead master within you as if it's a joke. as if that's funny. as if that's a good thing. and people say he would be proud but would he? #would he be proud when everyone always tells you that you are the opposite of him? that you are everything he was not? #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #disaster lineage #star wars

[spacedace]

I don't know where this came from but here:

Damian, Jon and Elle are working out at the Teen Titan gym. Jon notices that Elle has stopped and is just staring at Damian and decides to sidle on over, both to tease his girlfriend and join her in watching their boyfriend go ham in the fight simulation program.

Jon: Enjoying the view?

Elle: huh? Oh no - well, yeah obviously, but that's not why I'm staring

Jon: Oh? What's up then? Something wrong with D?

Elle: No, nothing like that, it's just...

Jon: Just?

Elle: Does he pluck his eyebrows to be that shape?

Jon: ...what?

Elle: It just occured to me that his eyebrows are like, shaped like the wings of the bat symbol. Does he pluck them them to get that shape? Or are they natural? I mean, Batcow's "mask" is natural so...

Jon, a dawning realizationin his eyes: ...I - they've been that way since we were kids...

Elle: Yeah, I've seen pictures, but it's Day. Can you really tell me he wouldn't start doing it as a kid to as like a "see I'm totally the superior child, I even my eyebrows are dedicated to the cause" and then have to keep it up forever cause he couldn't just admit he was plucking his brows into that shape when he was a little bratty kid.

Jon: Oh my god he totally would

Damian finishes up at the simulation area and wanders over to his two partners to see what they're talking about

Damian: Hey-

Jon & Elle: Are your eyebrows real?!

Damian stops. States at them. Turns on his heel and just walks away from them without a word with both of them immediately chasing after him badgering him about his eyebrows.

(It takes another three months but they do eventually catch him painstakingly plucking his brows for that optimal Bat-Wing look)

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dani phantom #danielle phantom #elle phantom #jon el kent #jon kent #jon lane kent #damien wayne #super serious chaos #they are three of the smartest people in the world and usually the smartest people in the room #but also they share a single braincell and like the fates from the movie Hercules they end up fighting over it & usually drop it #Damian plays it off like he's the one with the braincell here but let's be real #Simultaneously Jon & Elle are sharing it and no one has it #Jon & Elle when thry finally catch Damian plucking his brows for that perfect batwing arch: why don't you just use makeup #Damian unwilling to admit he's never thought of that in all these years: impractical #they're idiots your honor #but idiots *in love*

[veinsfullofstars]

“Quit laughin’, ya bastard, I’m dyin’ over here! Get me some starsdamn milk, for cryin’ out loud!”

(ID: Kirby series fanart comic of Dark Meta Knight and Daroach, in which lunch is interrupted by a disagreement on spicy food and some improper use of the Sharing mechanic. Transcript below the cut. END ID.)

Based on a personal headcanon that DMK enjoys spicy food and Daroach vehemently does not.

UPDATE: I foRGOT HIS EYE SCAR?? HeLLO??? (fixed it now but starsdamn it this is why I shouldn't post stuff the second I finish heck dang it all veins get some sleep would you)

Started 04/06/24, finished 04/09/24.

---

Transcript:

Panel 1

*DMK and DR sitting side-by-side enjoying some lunch together - a sandwich for the thief, a plate of spicy curry for the knight. DMK (his mask pushed up to the side of his head, bits of curry stuck to his face) idly eats his meal with a fork as DR picks up and scrutinizes a small bottle of hot sauce the knight had set aside, a brow raised in disappointment.*

DR: “Ultra spicy,” huh? Blech. How can you stand this stuff, Dark? Like, can you even taste anythin’ anymore? (Besides pain?)

Panel 2

DMK: Aw, c’mon, it’s not that bad. Here, want a bite~?

*setting his fork upright in the curry, DMK pushes his plate aside and turns towards DR with the most mischievous expression, reaching up to grab the collar of his cape. DR turns his head sharply, dropping the bottle and the sandwich, as the knight starts tugging him towards him.*

DR: What’re you-? Hey! No! No! Don’t you friggin’ dare, Dark, I swear to Nova-

Panel 3

*DMK stands up and yanks DR down towards his face, a hand clasped on the back of the thief’s head to hold him there. DR flinches (VFX: two large exclamation points), knocked off his feet and holding his paws out in surprise. A wisp of steam rises from between them, curling into a little pink heart at the top. Text reading “*Face-to-Face SFX*” hovers behind DMK.*

Panel 4

*DR jerks away from DMK, red-faced and doubled over in pain, his eyes squeezed shut and his tongue hanging out with a fresh red burn on the end, steam emitting from his face in puffs. He frantically fans at his mouth with one paw while shoving DMK away with the other.*

DR: (breaking the dialogue bubble in places) AAGH!! Ow! Star-burnin’ son-of-the-void what is wrong with you piece a’- aaaughh dammit stars dammit ow ow ow ow!!

*DMK cackles, leaning away with one arm held up against the rat’s pushing paw, one eye shut and mouth stretched open in a wide smile, a single incisor prominent within and a touch of blush at the corner. Text reading “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA” hovers behind him surrounded by laugh lines.*

#veins art #veins ships #veins fanart #fanart #kirby series #kirby #dark meta knight #daroach #dark meta knight x daroach #darkroach #rarepair #kissing #comic #headcanon #they're just Like This your honor #don't worry - he definitely got Dark back for this later #probably with something disgustingly sweet considering he's not big on sugar (another personal headcanon) #just *tackles* him with a container full of those ultra-processed frosting sugar cookies and ruins his whole day #man why are food shenanigans so fun to write? #(also dammit veins we're supposed to be working on other stuff right now - not more shippy nonsense) #(I can't help it - just look a them!! my idiots <3 ) #food tw #veinsfullofstars

[zhongrin]

LITERALLY WHY IS HE LIKE THIS. IS PAIMON OUR CHILD. ARE WE DIVORCED NOW. WHY IS HE ACTING LIKE AN EX HUSBAND WANTING TO HANG OUT AND USING OUR DAUGHTER AS AN EXCUSE BYE HSUFHLSKDJFLKSD

#rin's adventures in teyvat #CRYING HE'S SUCH AN IDIOT YOUR HONOR I LOVE HIM #MAN WENT 'OUR DAUGHTER CAN DO THAT TOO >:/' #NOW I WANT TO WRITE A CONTINUATION OF THE FIC I WROTE FOR HIS BDAY LAST YEAR SOMEONE SMACK ME

[emmedoesntdomath]

ice, carefully wrapping mav’s finger: how the fuck did you do this???

mav, thinking: uhhhh

*twenty minutes earlier*

mav, doing the dishes: *finds a knife*

mav, scoffing while examining it: this isn’t even that sharp!

*runs it along his finger*

mav, staring at the blood that immediately starts dripping: …oops

*back to present*

mav, carefully not looking at ice: I have no idea

#your honor #he’s a fucking idiot #top gun #top gun 1986 #top gun maverick #pete maverick mitchell #iceman x maverick #icemav #pete mitchell #tom kazansky #tom iceman kazansky #maverick imagine #tgm #emme’s bad ideas

[wickedwitchofthewesninski]

Drunk Kevin: That's a nice argument, why don't you back it up with a source

Even drunker Aaron, standing on top of the kitchen table: my source is that I mADE IT THE FUCK UP

#they're idiots your honor #kevin and aaron have drunk academic discussions #where no one else understands anything #kevin sometimes mixes up a bit of french #and Aaron just pretends he understands #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #incorrect aftg #kevin day #aaron minyard