#he and cucumber are probably better friends now

[alittlelessalone]

Fun Scum Villain fic concept:

So Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua are sent back to their original world temporarily due to system shenanigans and need to wait x number of days until they can go back. They wake up at the times of their deaths and get to use this time to do some final things in the world before returning back.

So Shen Yuan of course wants to spend the time with his family and getting to see them again and say goodbye in a less depressing way. But Shang Qinghua doesn’t have that and he’s just finished PIDW.

Shen Yuan makes sure he has enough money to get him through the timeframe (after learning about Shang Qinghua’s financial situation), so he doesn’t need to work to keep himself alive, so he decides he wants to write something a little more heartfelt as a sort of last hurrah.

He decides in honor of the two lives he and Shen Yuan stole, he’s going to share the backstory of Shen Jiu and write a story about Shang Qinghua.

Shen Jiu comes first and it’s mainly just a tale about him and Yue Qingyuan using his unposted backstory, but in the end he decides to make some minor changes so it’s not as depressing. Namely, that when they died, their souls were both sucked into Xuan Su. The pair ended up trapped there, but they were trapped there together in a world that couldn’t hurt them anymore and allowed them to finally be together.

It’s a poignant and bittersweet story that doesn’t excuse Shen Jiu’s behavior, but it does a lot to explain it and expand his character. And while it of course has its detractors, people generally like it and Peerless Cucumber is there in the comments singing its praises for all to see (and there in Shang Qinghua’s apartment smacking him over the head with a rolled up magazine and scolding him for being by such a good writer and selling out on PIDW).

The Original Shang Qinghua story doesn’t really have any old notes to go off. He was never meant to be a fleshed out character and was always just a plot device villain. But Shang Qinghua feels bad for PIDW’s Mobei-Jun, so he decides to write something for his sake too.

In this story, it’s revealed that Mobei-Jun didn’t actually kill the Original Shang Qinghua, but instead worked with him to fake his death after Lou Binghe ordered him dead. Shang Qinghua reveals that the pair were actually lovers and maintained their secret relationship over the years and that was why Mobei-Jun never seemed interested in romance.

And most readers are like wtf except for the bl fans who love it. And even Peerless Cucumber is a little more hesitant to praise it since it sort of came out of nowhere, but he can admit that it’s clever and well written. And Shen Yuan can tease Shang Qinghua relentlessly for it, even if he also approves and finds it very sweet.

Depending on how much more time they’re stuck there, maybe the pair can also write one more story, giving the original Lou Binghe a happier ending too.

Eventually, it’s time for them to go back. Shen Yuan says goodbye to has family and Shang Qinghua says goodbye to PIDW and hopes that his changes and additions can bring people some peace, even if it’s probably too late for those who need them most.

Shen Yuan realizes that Shang Qinghua was trying to alter the canon in hidden ways so that the system could silently incorporate them into the world without breaking anything. He figures it’s mainly for Bing-ge’s universe that’s still more or less PIDW, but being the mega-fan that he is, he decides to put a theory to the test.

It takes a lot less time with the help of the sect, but he manages to grow another plant body like his own. And then with Yue Qingyuan’s permission, he uses some of Shang Qinghua’s new hand-wavy canon to reach out to Xuan Su. And the next thing he knows, Shen Jiu is waking back up in the plant body after years trapped inside the sword.

And of course there’s a lot of questions and Binghe tears, but Yue Qingyuan gets his Xiao Jiu back and Shang Qinghua realizes that his changes must have taken in the other universe too, now meaning there’s less suffering there as well. He gets to curl back up in his king’s arms that night and rest assured that no matter what universe he’s in, both his king and that universe’s Shang Qinghua are well and truly loved.

#moshang #qijiu #shang qinghua #svsss #original shang qinghua #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #yue qingyuan #mobei jun #Shang Qinghua really said “if I’m technically god why not use my god powers #he and cucumber are probably better friends now #and he probably has a better relationship with writing now too #the system can’t prove this DIDN’T happen #and now it’s canon so oops! have to follow the rules! #Shen Jiu overheard Yue Qingyuan while in the sword #he has feelings about what his idiotic Qi-ge has said and done but os willing to forgive him now #poor Liu Qingge is probably having a hell of a time during everything but he’ll be fine #maybe he’ll even get a few more friends once everyone starts to adjust!

[princessbrunette]

thoughts on jj x bunny!reader ??

oooof, yes. i think it’s time we revisit the au where it’s bsf!jj and kook, prissy, well groomed bunny!reader.

୧ ‧₊˚ 🧁 ⋅🐰 ˖°

you’re total opposites. yes you want to fuck eachother. yes you’re both oblivious to this.

your parents were never a fan of the pogue boy from the start. especially your father. he didn’t like the way that dirty pogue with the big smug smile would shake his hand at the door when he’d come round to pick you up, still wearing that black backwards cap and an expression that said ‘i’m probably balls deep in your sweet innocent daughter. you’ll never know.’ they’d scowl when they’d watch you disappear down the driveway with him, clutching his arm, practically rubbing all up on him in your tiny skirts. sometimes he’d even look back at them with a cheeky grin, like he just couldn’t believe it either. it was obscene, but they couldn’t stop you. you were soft, yes — but what bunny wanted, bunny got — and it just so appeared that bunny wanted to slum it with some blonde stoner from the cut, so for now they’d have to bite their tongue until you learn your lesson.

jj can’t spoil you like he wants to, no— he’s broke, and plus there wasn’t much you didn’t already have. but he’ll be damned if he didn’t give you the princess treatment, it was the least he could do for perving on his sweet, innocent best friend who knew no better (right?)

what this entails, is never having the power to tell you no. you need picking up from a kook party because you’re too tipsy and he certainly doesn’t trust rafe cameron to see it to it that you’re safe? he’s already outside, and has been for twenty minutes. you wanna learn how to smoke weed because you’ve never done it before? it’s better off he teaches you anyway, right? he would put his foot down with you, clearly needing some guidance and ‘taming’ if you will, but it’s harder than it seems.

“please, jayj?” you cling to his arm stood at his side, plush tits pressed against his bicep and eyelashes batting up at him routinely.

“nah, don’t do that.” he groans, shutting his eyes.

“pleaaaase?”

“you know it’s like, really not fair to pull the doe eyes on me. disappointing you is like… choking out a baby rabbit or something.”

“so you’ll come with me?” you muse hopefully and his eyes flutter, bordering on a roll as he licks his lips.

“fine, okay? fine.”

“weak.” john b passes by, clucking his tongue with a smug head shake.

“weak and pussy whipped.” pope follows him, bringing his can to his lips.

he’s also always getting looped into all of your girly shit somehow. “lets uh, keep this our special little secret, yeah cupcake?” he’s likely to say from your bedroom wearing a robe too small for him with cucumbers on his eyes, a victim of your ‘spa day’— which he secretly agreed to because he saw the potential of some possible feel-ups. maybe a massage, or showering together. not this shit.

you’ve also heard the phrase. “aint no way you’ve tied a pink ribbon to my bike again, princess.” more times than you can count. again, girly shit.

it does pay off though, the pogue tucked up in your pristine bed when your parents are out of town, whistling jokingly when you arrive back from the shower with just a towel tied round you.

“ooo—wee, aint that a sight.” he calls and you giggle, walking over to his side.

“not ashamed of anythin’ around you, jayj— just that comfortable. look!” you pull the towel off, giggling and doing a spin as you reveal your still dripping naked figure, pretty much the blondes wet dream presented before him.

it’s safe to say he nearly loses composure, but he’ll settle for you riling yourself up based purely on his reaction and praise, writhing your naked body on his lap only fifteen minutes later, humping him through his sweatpants.

“th—this isn’t normal for best friends, jj!” you mewl, body still warm and damp as he paws at you anywhere he can get his hands on.

“sure it is, sweetcheeks. don’t even trip.”

୧ ‧₊˚ 🧁 ⋅🐰 ˖°

#bimbokendall #jj maybank prompt #bunny!reader

[jade-len]

bad svsss fanfic/au idea: random marriage/guidance counselor transmigrates into PIDW, sees the absolute mess of lord luo bingge and his harem, goes "jesus fucking christ", and makes bank.

and like. they're probably not even that good of a counselor. it's just that people lack any sense when it comes to bingge, and since he's the emperor, that means pretty much everyone. also because therapy doesn't exist. i'll give them some credit though, whatever they hell they're doing works.

now, while sqq and sqh are having a grand ol' time in SVSSS with their husbands, this random, average counselor has to deal with being in the care of lord luo bingge. no wife beam. no anything. all they have is some basic empathy and common sense people just tend to lack in here for some reason.

it's even worse considering the fact that they've arrived after luo bingge completed his plan and became the hailed demon emperor. now, while they've never full on read the entire thing, they've heard enough from a close friend who has kept up with it to know the main character is the literal embodiment of the cycle of abuse and heavy unresolved issues. like, it got to the point where they started to unironically use luo bingge as an example of how to not deal with conflicts and trauma.

really, how could people like bingge? seriously, it's just another edge lord main character with way too many glamorized issues and abuse. red flag! (hey, who the hell is peerless cucumber and why does he keep defending binghe? lord, have mercy on these impressionable young men...)

so, after being kidnapped taken in by bingge and his wives after the bunch claimed that they were a "wise man" or whatever (all they did was offer some basic relationship advice to some poor woman, who turned out to be ning yingying, who told the other wives, and it just spiraled from there), they were deemed "special" and given their personal office and a room! hey, better than being on the streets in this god forsaken hentai-ish world, i guess.

quickly, a routine was established. one that, especially, consisted of luo bingge outright ignoring them. which, they weren't complaining about!

wake up, eat, meet with multiple of the wives, spend their hard earned money on delicious delicacies, meet with more wives, sleep, repeat. the most interaction they had with the demon emperor was him ordering them around, but even then, that was uncommon. it was, surprisingly, easy to fall into the rhythm of this undoubtedly odd life. you're upset that lord luo hasn't spent much time with you? maybe you can ask! the other wives are being annoying? remove yourself from the situation. you're upset that lord luo has so many other wives? oohhh... yeah. uhm.

luo binghe only tolerated them, they knew that. and they're sure that, if not for multiple of his wives insisting on keeping them, they'd be dead for even daring to be so "intimate" with them. a little bit of a shock, if they do say so themself. like, insecure much (something that they'll probably never get used to is the fact that bingge built an entire little village for his wives, though)?

but that's not the most shocking thing, oh, no.

it's this.

"i- i tried.. i tried to take the.. hiic-- other.. other shizun w-with me.." lord luo binghe, the powerful, almighty demon emperor, trembles and sobs. "b-but he! he wanted to-- s-stay with that.. stupid, inferior version of my- hic- self.."

despite the mountain of gold they're getting paid in, is it really enough to deal with this? probably not. will they get killed for witnessing luo binghe's vulnerability? perhaps. is he a dictator, the embodiment of the cycle of abuse, and a crazily vengeful bastard? definitely.

"it's-- s' not.." his voice breaks. something else inside of them probably does, too. "..n-not, hiic- fair."

should they feel bad? they shouldn't. he's hurt much too many people. isn't it a little late? can he even be redeemed? because, they are absolutely not here to try and "fix" him.

and yet.

"can you breathe, lord luo? deep breaths, don't focus on anything else but me, okay? i'll do it with you too. can you do that for me? there, there. you're doing a very good job, do you know that? here, when i'm upset, sometimes i like to do something called, '5-4-3-2-1'. i promise it'll help, binghe. would you like for me to do this one with you too?"

they can't help but think about a small, lonely boy on qing jing peak.

. . .

after that, bingbing slowly starts to come around and develop an actual bond! cool!! he just,,, can't believe only his wives were granted the "wisdom". how foolish was he?

"i know i'm only a mere human, but i can tell that lord luo is... masking things. you can put that away for now, okay? i promise, everything you say here will be confidential information, and it'll never leak... no no there's no enemy spies here-"

"i'm not even going to question this. you go back there right now and deal with it yourself if you cannot respect me or the other clients. aka, your wives."

"no, it's not stupid. this is how people help themself, and it's okay if you want to do it. as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody. it helps, and that's all that matters."

"oh? one of your wife confronted to you about it? i'm glad to hear that, she's doing well, i see. i'm also happy that you're listening too, really."

"yes, and when something like that happens, you--- no- don't pull out xin mo now. what did we say about that? good job."

"here, can i touch your hands, binghe? there we go. when you're unsteady, you feel the need to pick at your skin, correct? well, let's try a few different things to keep those hands busy! it must be quite stressful being an emperor. how about we start with crocheting! it's quite popular back at my hometown."

"your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, lord luo. hey, how about you take a small break and visit her, okay? you want me to come with you? of course, it'd be an honor."

and thus, the story of the poor transmigrator counselor continues on with luo bingge added to their schedule!! this could be read as romantic or platonic lol. but i was thinking of this as luo bingge obtaining his first actual friend. it takes a long while due to bingge's... bingge-ness, but eventually it all works out lmao

#they dont give a shit about if they live or not tbh if lbh is acting wack hes acting wack #intended it to be more crac induced yk but... idk with bingge its a little hard bc i get sad lmao #sorry if it seems rushed this has just been sitting in my drafts for weeks uh oh #svsss ideas #svsss #mxtx svsss #luo bingge #pidw luo binghe #luo binghe #pidw #the scum villain's self saving system #i'm so tired

[orangeicee]

♡ Underrated Safe Foods ♡

Hii!! Since my last underrated safe food post blew up so much I thought I’d make a part two to these!

These r gonna be a lot more specific, as I’ll mention a lot of brands here (I’m in the US btw, pretty much all of these can be found at publix)

Quest protein chips - starting strong w these cause oh my god. They have around 20g of protein, 4g net carbs, and 140 cals per bag. The best part is, I cannot lie when I say these are actually SO MUCH better than any greasy calorie dense chip brand. My fav flavor is the chili lime, but there’s also loaded nacho, and the flavoring is so accurate on both!!!!/!!/ get these guys please

Enlighten bars (Sea Salt Caramel) - do you guys like ice cream bars? Do you also like them for only 80 cals?/?/? Yeah. There’s no catch like “it’s actually just frozen breast milk” or sum shit. I have no idea what they put in those things but man are they good, I wouldn’t even care if it was actually frozen breast milk

Raspberries - now you might be thinking “wdym those aren’t underrated everybody has fruit as a safe food” but nobody ever mentions the nutrients. Specifically FIBER. People always ignore fiber in their wl journey but it’s so important. Raspberries are a perfect fiber rich low cal food that you guys NEED to get on.

Kimchi - if you’re not familiar, kimchi (김치) is a korean food which is basically fermented cabbage in liek a sauce…i don’t know what the sauce is iforgot. But anyway, since it centers around cabbage, I think it’s no surprise that these are an amazing low cal option. And the best part is, the fermentation process produces a ton of healthy gut bacteria. It’s a lil bit sour so I personally don’t like it, but my friend does, and maybe that’s why he’s 15 lbs lighter than me

Egg whites - eggs themselves are amazing for wl, but you can enjoy them for a fraction of the cals. Most of the protein is in the whites anyway, so egg whites are genuinely one of the best sources of protein while also being extremely low cal. If you want, you can make your eggs with just one full egg and then mostly egg whites, and I like to sprinkle a little bit of feta in there so life doesn’t suck

Microwaved fiber one brownies - a little bit specific, but why eat your fiber brownie when it’s dryer than this pu-

when you can microwave it for a lil bit, add sum whipped cream (don’t come for me it’s high volume so it’s not actually that many cals) and have basically a hot fudge brownie for under 100 cals. You deserve to feel something every once in a while, and though it might not be the same, the brain fog from fasting will probably hinder your ability to tell the difference

That’s all!! If you guys have any more questions feel free to ask. Hopefully this list will help you diversify your diet, because I can imagine biting into your 3rd cucumber of the day just makes you sad.

#@na #tw disordered eating #ed not ed sheeran #tw ed diet #low cal diet #@na tips #⭐️ving #@na trigger

[incognito-lionbeast]

one of the fic ideas in my current daydream rotation is like-- Shang Qinghua’s out & about and espies Madam Meiyin, just sorta doing her thing. Peddling fortunes. It’s then that he gets a little curious -- not about his future, mind, but if she can see into his past life and tell him anything about who, if anyone, he would have been with if things had been different.

Probably can’t, he figures, but it’s worth trying. He jokes to himself that he’s supporting a local small business.

So, anyway! She can actually, because the thing is. Shen Qingqiu was wrong before, the thread that had been cut wasn’t Shen Jiu’s but Shen Yuan’s. Madam Meiyin makes The Face™ of all time, and has to ask Shang Qinghua what his relationship to Shen Qingqiu is... because their past threads were cut in the exact same way. They’d match up perfectly, if only both were there for her to prove it.

TLDR Shang Qinghua finds out that his soulmate in his past life was his goddamn hater. Who just so happens to still be around. Frankly, he’s really not sure what he’s supposed to do with this information now that he has it.

Other than maybe go tease Shen Qingqiu about it. Pretend it’s the funniest news he’s ever gotten. Naturally, his former Fated Other does not fucking believe him -- until abruptly forced to, because he can’t leave well enough alone & confronts Madam Meiyin later.

This leaves both of them conflicted. Not that there’s a chance in hell that either would leave their current partner, but there’s an odd sense of loss... of things that could have been. Nostalgia, maybe? For a past life. And Cucumber-bro, for one, absolutely detests these feelings. On principle.

And yet they somehow end up becoming better friends because of it, prompting conversations about who they were before.... and mutually agreeing that Luo Binghe must never know of this.

#SVSSS #Shang Qinghua #Shen Qingqiu #Shen Yuan #airplane shooting towards the sky #Scum Villain's Self-Saving System #bay mumbles

[xecutivecucumber]

Executive Cucumber's thoughts on the Bad Batch episode 3×08 (spoilers after the cut)

Forgive me if these thoughts are less coherent than usually, I'm pretty freaking tired atm. Thoughts are as much in order as I can manage.

Firstly, this episode was a much needed, lower emotionally charged break from the last...seven episodes of the season. The thing about stories is that they can't be running at warp 9 the entire time. It will burn your audience out. Heck, I'm at a lower energy, transitiatory part of my long fic. So yeah, this episode didn't cause the emotional damage and stress that the last 7 did, but that's a good thing.

Omega has the neurodivergent ✨️leg jiggle✨️

Poor dear needs a hug and for someone to free the Tantiss clones.

PHEE MY QUEEN

Crosshair's face when Omega says 'liberator of ancient wonders' I love him.

Okay, I know that a lot of people are upset about Phee not being more emotional about Tech. I've got a few thoughts on that. My expectations going into the scene with her was that she wasn't going to be mentioning Tech. So when she did, I was really happy. She doesn't need to bring him up in the conversation, but she does.

So let's dive a little deeper into this. There are only two people who have brought up Tech without any prompting so far: Echo and Phee. Omega only mentions him when it's a direct answer to Crosshair's question. Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker have not mentioned him once by name. Now, I think this is because Echo and Phee have both known loss and know better how to handle it. The rest of the Batch hasn't, before Tech. We have watched practically all of Echo's loss, but not Phee's. However, we know that Pabu is a place for refugees, which Phee likely is. She's lost at least a home, if not family and friends. Add on top of that Phee is just in general a world wide person, and I think we can assume that she's someone who's got a more healthy way of processing grief than our emotionally stunted soldiers.

Something that you do with people that you've loved and lost is remember them. That's what I see Phee doing here. She's managed to process her grief in the last 4 months, and she's keeping the memory of someone she cared about alive by mentioning him in conversation.

So yeah. I liked that scene and it warmed my Tech/Phee loving heart.

Anyways,

Oooooh Fennec!!!

I love Crosshair not knowing anything but it also makes me sad.

Hunter: try to get Crosshair to get his hand looked at

Omega: what do you mean 'try'

Thoughts on Crosshair and Omega scenes:

What did my poor boy go through????

Poor man is probably resisting the idea that it's in his head because he already HAD a thing in his head that ruined his life

Omega: you don't like anything

Crosshair: true

Your honor I would die for them. Also I find his 'true' to be a little sad (and adorable)

OMG THEY'RE MEDITATING (and they have somehow stolen YET ANOTHER thing from my fic, this time before I've even gotten past the concept stage)

Omega: you missed a lot

Crosshair: I know

He's thinking of Tech in that moment.

Oh my gosh her hand on his and how he lets her move his hand THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL ME.

The Bad Batch says take care of your mental

Thoughts about Space Everglades:

I really loved Wrecker this episode. He really got to shine. He has the most banter with Fennec, he gets to do his demo thing, he freaking curb stomps space alligators, and he's the MVP in getting the bug man. It was really nice. Also, 'YOU HEARD ME!!!!' Let Wrecker go feral.

Bro, I really liked the bar music. I like seeing more of the music that plays in universe.

Wrecker and Hunter are definitely having flashbacks to Cid this entire episode. Except Fennec gives them more intel.

Fennec is a delight as always.

My prediction to who she's selling them out to? Ventress. And I don't think Ventress' intentions are bad.

So yeah, a solid episode! I'm honestly probably going to leave a lot of the star wars subreddits just to avoid everyone and their dog complaining about filler. Which this was NOT.

And as the next episode is called the Harbinger, I feel like this might be one of our last breaths before the plunge and everything goes sideways.

Oh, and in case you forgot. Tech lives ❤️

#the bad batch #tbb #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #tbb season 3 spoilers #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #tbb season 3 #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #phee genoa #fennec shand #asajj ventress #soft crosshair #tbb tech #tbb echo #we support phee genoa in this household #phee genoa positive #i'd be more silly but I'm freaking tired #turns out i lack the ability to sleep when my cat Phee is cuddling me for 4 hours #tech lives

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

WT #5: "It's Broken"

Summary: Spy AU. r/AITA post from a throwaway account asking if they're the asshole for accidentally torturing their best friend.

WC: 1363

Am I the asshole for torturing my best friend, despite him not knowing it was me? [UPDATED] + Poll

Throwaway account for obvious reasons. 

So I work for a… company with enemies. Lots of enemies. And my job is to make sure those who come prying, don’t get off easy when they get a little too nosey. Seven of these enemies come in the form of branded assassins, and they’ve been on our asses for a while. I won’t use their name as I don’t want any hate/harassment to go towards them, but If you didn’t know, they’re the UK’s legion of puppies - legal assassins and infiltrators who are conditioned to think they’re doing good, but truthfully they’re just nuisances. Like, really annoying. Why can’t we be chased by the French ones? They’d put up a much better fight…

Ugh. Anyway, the pups got in the way of several shipments that stopped the boys getting paid, they nearly got my brother arrested and they killed a dozen higher-ups - you wanna know how hard they are to replace? They do all this for clout and money; bigger enemies pay the small enemies to try and take us out, and for what? We’re a family business, for christ's sake! All we do is move shit around and own a few stores, what’s so threatening about that? Nothing I’ll say! I’m just trying to put food on the table and these assholes are trying to stop that. Not all of us belong to institutions who feed us cucumber sandwiches and lobster at the drop of a hat. 

He’s probably there right now, swaddled in a private hospital with a team of doctors putting him back together. 

I’m not looking for sympathy, but I guess I hate them so much because one of them killed my dad. I was a wreck! 

So yeah, I fucking hate them. They took everything and continue to take - my brother had to step in and take over dads role and it hasn’t been easy for him! For any of us! And those bastards got away with a pat on the back and a warm bed while we had to relocate a warehouse for the millionth time. My dad was just sitting in his office holding his gun as he usually does - so what if it happened to be pointing in the direction of the pup? Those  guys are so insecure they see anything as a threat. ‘Shoot on sight’. Hah. That mentality will get them killed if they weren’t so damn hard to catch. 

But imagine the satisfaction when we finally managed to get our hands on one - a live one. The small one with the blonde hair, is probably about 5 '5 and built like a stick insect. (I’m practically six foot, well-built and can bench about 200lbs) 

They’d gotten sloppy - too egotistical. Their mums had probably told them they’re the best in the world and they ran with it. We cornered the rat in one of our warehouses, and he relented when he realized he wasn’t enough to beat over a dozen armed men when all he had on him was knives. What, is he just old enough to graduate from safety scissors? No guns? Fucking amateur. 

He didn’t go down without a fight, and it was quite a show, too. Bastard managed to nick my arm, but my brother managed to crack the back of his head with a pipe and he was out cold… Well, we assumed so anyway because of those damn masks -  If you hadn’t been living under a rock, then you’d know the pups have these masks practically glued to their face. They all have their own ‘looks’, the blonde one’s is molded into a frown with those soulless, black eyes. The reason we didn’t take it off there and then is because… well, last time someone did, everyone in the room went missing, and I don’t know about you guys but I’m quite comfortable here. We play a very dangerous game - luckily I’m always one step ahead. 

I’ve had six years to think about this - to wonder what It would be like to get one of them. My brother called me crazy, but I could hardly wait as they took his headpiece and tracker from his uniform. Look, I know it wasn’t the short one that killed my dad but he was close enough, but who wouldn't want to enact revenge on the closest thing to their fathers killer? Granted it wasn’t the short one that killed my dad, but it was close enough to send a message and I only had forty minutes before the fanfare arrived. So that gave me about thirty minutes to do whatever I wanted… 

I wasted no time in getting my hands dirty. Just seeing his stupid mask made me feel all kinds of stuff, but mostly rage at what one of his teammates had done to my life. I saw red. 

So I cut every limb deep enough to see bone. I broke several fingers, his leg, and carved him a new six pack after I’d rearranged his ribs. I ripped his clothes enough to see the pale flesh they hide beneath layers of tactical gear. I took his gloves so I could at least have a trophy - a reminder of the time I beat up a ‘Sin. 

I almost feel guilty for loving it, but I hated how he made no noise. He was conscious, I knew this because of the heavy breathing but he didn’t say a single word. Not one. Not even a whimper.

So I hit harder. And I kept on hitting until my knuckles bled because the smug bastard didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to be silent, but I’m also not sure he deserved the beating. I know, what a plot twist. 

I guess I should explain the title now, because how do I know I just tortured my best friend? Well. I think I did. Because only one person I know has a very specific scar between his pointer and thumb - right in the fleshy part. It stretches across his palm as well as down the back of his hand towards the wrist. It’s barely visible now, but I’ve known him for years, so even beneath all the blood I can still trace the faint line. I’m so used to seeing his hands and the scar… and that mop of blond hair that I know it had to be him. He’s also the only person I know that bites his nails down to the cuticles. 

I saw the scar when I raised the bar I was using above his hand - he’d been strapped to a chair, with his arms tied to the armrests. His fingers were broken for sure, but at the time I wasn’t done… the irrational anger I had had blinded me, but the sight of the scar swung me back to my senses. I paused for a solid minute, the pipe I was using poised above his hand. 

“It’s broken.” He finally rasped. 

And I stopped. 

I stopped. Like, I physically recoiled because despite the fact that he was hiding behind that stupid mask he actually spoke. I could put a voice to a body and for some reason I felt so sick I nearly threw up because it was so unmistakably him. 

So I dragged his body back to the spot and left him. I had time to spare but I couldn’t face it. If it was him, then he must have known it was me. I mean, I was wearing a pretty good disguise - a hoodie, sunglasses and bandanna - but I’m worried y’know, I don’t want this to affect our friendship going forward. 

I’m sitting in my car typing this and wondering AITA for torturing him? Because it was just to teach him a lesson but on the other hand… he’s my best friend and I genuinely didn't know? Like, I stopped right away! On the other hand, he is part of something that actively ruins the family business so I don't know. 

UPDATE: He does know it was me. 

I think we’re still friends.

#whumptober2023 #whumptober #whump #surro writes: lethal combination #angst #ideas #torture #aita #am i the asshole #injury #polls

[madam-melon-meow]

Are you interested in a humanstuck/monsterstuck no sburb au? Do you slowburn Pepsicola and Vriskan? Does 300k+ words sound like heaven? Have i got a fic for you!

"Dave, are you alright?" Kanaya asked. He looked at her, snapping his finger-guns and smirking.

"You know me, I'll be cool as a cucumber. A little forest fire can't cramp my style." He flashed a glance towards John, who was still standing near Tavros, accepting a congratulations from Gamzee. "John might be a little rattled though."

"Worried John's sick bars will attract Gamzee's attention?" She teased, waggling her brows exaggeratedly. "I have to say, it was fascinating to watch the two of you get so passionate about the art form. Probably for the best you decided to battle via proxy, as the heat might have gotten a tad too intense if you and Gamzee had gone toe-to-toe once more."

"You should leave the matchmaking to your shipping friend," he responded, shaking his head. "Gamzee ain't my type. Too lanky, for one thing, what with all the shapeshifter noodling the dude likes to do. And, he makes me too squeamish. Makes it hard to get to know the guy." Hell yeah, played that off great.

Kanaya laughed knowingly. "I suppose you prefer your amorous targets to have a bit more substance to their form, hmmm?" She gestured loosely in John's direction, the motion unfocused. "A certain strapping young lad, a long-time friend to boot, seems to fit your specifications to a T."

Oh fuck. How did she know?!? He kept that shit on lock, he was absolutely certain of it. He couldn't risk letting his feelings slip. John still called Rose a homosexual, there was no way he'd ever be interested in him.

"Did Vriska feed you some hella illegal gossip from spying on my brain?" He blurted out, remembering the vampire's supposed powers, and the hells of non-platonic thoughts he'd had for John while crawling towards him on the Egbert's kitchen floor, which he'd done in full view of her. Stupid .

"I knew it ," Kanaya exclaimed triumphantly. "And no, Vriska hasn't said a thing. I used my sibling powers to ascertain the obvious, if I might be quite frank."

"Man, I liked it better when we were joking about me liking Gamzee," he muttered. "At least I'd have a chance if I was actually into the guy."

Get him to shapeshift into John, an intrusive thought stabbed into Dave's brain. He repressed it- coolly.

"What, you don't think you'd have a chance with John?" She asked, a little too loudly for a sober person. He winced, squirming at the question, not ready to lay it all bare and justify the mental hoops he'd been jumping through every time he thought about it. Especially not at a party full of people who probably had super-hearing.

"Kanaya, he doesn’t even know I’m bi, if we’re being real, I'm a double-edged sword and all- but I got a sheathe." he replied, exasperated. "I’m pretty sure he thinks Vriska is the coolest thing since ice pops- hell, you might have some competition if you aren't careful."

"Wha- competition?!? " She sputtered, her face flushing. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Now he had the upper hand. He snickered, rolling his eyes. "Sibling powers. Duh. You keep making moon eyes at her. Big ass fucking goo-goo-ga-ga-mommy-give-me-milky shit, but, y'know, blood instead of milk." He gestured at the vampire, who was chatting with the dudes rocking animal limbs. "She’s not so bad, aside from morally, if you're waiting for your big bro’s blessing."

Will Kanaya finally make a move? Read The Good, The Bad, and The Alternative to find out!

#homestuck #kanaya maryam #vriska #vriska serket #kanaya #dave strider #john egbert #vriskan #pepsicola #hom3stuck #the good the bad and the alternative

[no1frogfan]

Endings and beginnings, part 3

Tsukishima Kei x gn reader

Chapter word count: ~2k

Chapter tags & warnings: alcohol (mixing drinks), angst, talking about having children, heavy emotional content, divorce, emotional abuse (not by Tsukishima or reader), gaslighting (not by Tsukishima or reader)

Note: Tumblr very much did NOT want me to upload this I guess because it’s taken me now SIX tries. Gods of tagging please stop eating my post

Series masterlist < part 2 | part 4 (wip) >

3. June

Business is slower than usual considering it’s a Friday night. The night is young though, not quite 5pm, plenty of time to organize the glasses and syrups and check the stock of mixers and garnishes ahead of the crowd.

Just in case, you decide to cut an extra container of lime wedges. Last weekend, everyone and their mothers wanted the cucumber melon gin spritz, and by the end of the night you’d run out of limes to garnish the glasses and the lemons you’d used as backup. It’s funny how popular the drink was considering you had to sell your boss on the idea. He was convinced that yubari melon would make the drink too sweet and mask the flavor of the cucumber. Trust me, you’d assured him. After testing a dozen different mixes, you finally hit upon the perfect one. If only you could’ve bottled the look on his face when he first tried it.

You cut into another lime, slicing off the top and bottom before neatly dividing it into wedges and tossing it into the container.

You cut into another.

And another, almost nicking yourself.

And another, because you’re thinking about him again.

Things have felt off between you since Sakusa’s party. You’ve met up with him and Yamaguchi a few times, but he’s been…distant. And even more so over text. Maybe Yamaguchi’s presence at the party lulled you into thinking Tsukishima still felt as comfortable around you as you did around him, comfortable enough to open up to both of you about his feelings, even if it meant yelling at you at first. And without Yamaguchi around — undoubtedly the one who’d kept in better touch over the years — you were merely an acquaintance.

Yamaguchi insisted you shouldn’t read into it, though it was difficult not to. “Tsukki probably just doesn’t want to burden you,” he said. But that’s just it. It meant you were no longer a person he could rely on.

When the three of you first met in middle school, you couldn’t understand why a sweet, bubbly person like Yamaguchi could be friends with an arrogant, sarcastic jerk like Tsukishima. You’d defended him against Tsukishima at first, not believing him when he laughingly informed you that he didn’t need defending. But at some point, over months and months, your opinion of Tsukishima shifted. Maybe you started to notice the near-imperceptible fondness and appreciation he had for Yamaguchi, and the way he supported Yamaguchi in quiet ways, even if he could never bring himself to say his feelings out loud.

Or maybe it was when he started to let you in too, letting you borrow his books, and sending you songs he thought you might like or new artists he came across.

That’s probably what fueled your crush on him, the feeling that you were special to him, in the way that close friends are and maybe hopefully a little bit more.

His words lost their bite over time, and by your second year of high school, Tsukishima seemed a totally different person — still snarky, sure, but more cheek than venom. Quick to tease, but also quick to console you whenever you were actually upset, making you laugh with some choice words about your ex or a bag of your favorite candy which was “coincidentally” in his backpack. The three of you were basically together 24/7, even during practice when you could always be found studying on the sidelines, often with their favorite snacks at hand.

That’s the year when Yamaguchi finally told you about what happened between Kei and his brother — the game that changed him so abruptly into the sullen boy you’d first met. Yamaguchi had constantly insisted that Tsukishima used to be gentler, but you never believed him until then. It was only afterward that you truly understood how hard Tsukishima worked on himself, to put himself out there, to take risks, and be a better person to those around him.

“He doesn’t think he’s good enough at volleyball to make an effort, and he doesn’t think he’s likeable enough to have friends,” Yamaguchi had observed once, surprising you with his teenage perceptiveness. Considering Tsukishima’s breakthroughs in volleyball in those short years, and how often you and Yamaguchi were accosted by classmates eager to date him, you were both convinced it’d only be a matter of time before he’d get overconfident and you’d have to knock him down a few pegs.

But, that’s not actually how self-esteem works.

You know that now.

Over the past few months, Yamaguchi filled you in just a little — maybe because he himself felt guilty for not realizing and intervening sooner — slowly revealing interactions he’d witnessed between Natsumi and Tsukishima that were painfully illuminating. The way Natsumi would condescend to Tsukishima behind closed doors, shout at him, goad him, and ultimately flip it on him, accusing him of being stupid, manipulative, and vindictive. Doing favors for him and then holding them over his head. Blatantly flirting with other people, then ridiculing him for feeling jealous. A million and one behaviors that were sickeningly familiar to you.

You know now that self-esteem can erode quickly, especially a newborn confidence as fragile and wobbly as Tsukishima’s. And to be treated like less than nothing for so long by someone so close to him… well, you suppose it’s not surprising that he’s hesitant to let you in again.

You don’t realize you’re just staring at an empty cutting board until something moves in the corner of your eye.

Looking up, you see Yamaguchi waving at you from the end of the bar. You hurriedly wipe your hands on the towel hanging from your waist. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

“About time you noticed,” he grins, “Since you always come to one of our neighborhoods to hang out, Tsukki and I decided to make the trek out to you for once!”

You hold out a drink menu which he immediately waves off. “I feel like whiskey tonight.”

“Whiskey, hmm?” You turn to take stock of your bar, pulling out a clean single malt along with some smoky lapsang souchong syrup you’ve been dying to experiment with.

“How’s Yachi doing? And your kitten?”

“Yachi’s doing great! The kitten is too, but I think he likes her more than me,” he laughs, “though I can’t blame him.”

You pour some of the syrup and two shots of whiskey into the shaker over ice, eyeballing the amount. “Does he have a name yet?”

“Not yet! We’re going to wait and see what his personality is like first.” You taste it and crinkle your nose.

“And how’s Makoto-kun?” Yamaguchi follows.

You hesitate, brain simultaneously attempting to decipher what’s missing from the drink and answer the question delicately. “He’s fine.” Your eyes land on the house-made umeshu and you pour some in. “We had an argument.” You taste it again — a little sweet, a little tart.

“Oh. Do you want to talk about it?”

You squeeze in some lemon and give the drink a brief shake before straining it over ice with a grimace. “He wants kids as soon as possible.”

“Ah. And you don’t.”

“…I honestly don’t know if I want them at all. But if I did, it wouldn’t be any time soon.” You shrug. “We talked about this early on, but I don’t think he realized how much he wanted kids until all our friends started having them.”

You garnish the glass with a twist of lemon peel and slide it over. Yamaguchi takes a sip, eyes widening and snapping up to meet yours.

“Glad you like it.” You smile, happy to change the topic.

“Who wants kids?” Tsukishima appears next to Yamaguchi. Of course he overhears that part.

“Makoto.”

“Ah.” Thankfully, he doesn’t press you any further. Instead, he scans the drink menu. “Which of these red wines should I get?”

“Are you sure you want one of those?” You laugh.

His face immediately drops into a sneer. “Sorry I don't know what all of these are. Some of us have other jobs.”

“I'm sorry, I shouldn’t have teased you,” you hurry to apologize, “I wasn't implying that you should be familiar with those wines. It's just…I noticed that you always order red wine when we go out but you never seem to enjoy it. The reds we have here are great, and I’m happy to recommend one for you, but I was hoping I could convince you to try something else?”

“Do it, Tsukki! This drink is amazing and all I said was that I wanted whiskey!”

Tsukishima nods reluctantly.

“Coming right up!” You try to remember what Tsukishima drank the last few times you went out together. The first meet-up was at a wine and tapas place near the museum and he’d ordered a cabernet. You thought it tasted fine, but he really had to push himself through it, so when he went to order another glass, you’d suggested a pinot noir, a lighter, fruitier red that might be more to his liking. He did seem to like it better, but still didn’t appear to love it, all the while insisting he did.

At the time, you’d chalked it up to him having an off day.

Something similar happened the second time though. He’d ordered a black coffee, but could barely bring himself to drink it.

Then again, you don’t want to push him too far out of his comfort zone, so maybe…

You scan through the bottles in the refrigerator — “Here we go, try this” — and pull out a bottle of dry rosé. Not too sweet, not too floral, crisp and easy to drink. You pour him a mouthful to try.

He takes the glass skeptically, the corners of his lips pulling down just a fraction. “No offense, but—”

“Just try it,” you urge, “and if you don’t like it, I’ll find you something else.”

“…Fine.” He tosses it back in one smooth motion, head tilting back, emphasizing the single bob of his adam’s apple. He sets the glass back down on the bar. “That’s surprisingly good.”

You give him a smug grin as you fill the glass.

“Don’t get cocky, it’s probably a fluke,” he scolds, reaching over the bar to pinch your cheek harshly.

You reach up to swat his hand away only to accidentally knock over the wine bottle. “SHIT!” You scramble to right the bottle. Luckily, it was only half full so not much spills out.

You quickly wipe the bar down with your towel as Tsukishima laughs, a real one, deep and resonant, that rings out from his chest.

“Remind me why I’m friends with you again?” You glare at him as heat rushes up your neck. He’s laughing at you, they both are, but the fact that you’re also in on the joke makes you feel a sense of relief, like the tension has finally dissipated and you’re floating.

“Ok, ok it's not that funny,” Yamaguchi giggles to Tsukishima as much as himself.

A few customers make their way in and you walk over to serve them before returning to refill Tsukishima’s wine and making Yamaguchi a second drink. Before you finish, another three customers enter one behind the other. 6pm now, prime time for the after-work crowd. Within 45 minutes, you’re absolutely swamped with drink orders. It doesn’t help that the other bartender on shift is late today.

“We’re gonna go get dinner!” Yamaguchi informs you when you finally get a second to check up on them.

“Oh, ok! Thanks so much for coming!” You wave, and seeing them reach for their wallets you quickly add, “Don’t worry, it’s on me tonight. You can owe me a drink next time!”

“Oh, here. I almost forgot.” Tsukishima pulls a big square envelope out of his bag and hands it over.

You accept it with confusion, eyes widening as you pull out a record. “Where did you get this?!”

He shrugs. “Co-worker.”

“But I’ve been looking for this vinyl everywhere!”

“I know. You told me the other day.”

“Well…uh, thank you,” you mumble in disbelief. That floating feeling returns, and you recognize it now.

It’s not just relief.

Fuck, you wish it was just relief.

#tsukishima x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukishima #tsukishima angst #froggy scribbles

[spacialdimension]

OK SO MY FRIEND DID THIS WITH HER AGENTS AND I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO DRAWING ALL MY AGENTS (yes i know theres one extra im going to explain- Character details (and what the text says if it ends up being too small down in the cut. I'll also give approximate species details for those that do that

Brook (Captain 3) -Been through hell and back -Serious, but is deeply protective of friends -Charger pro -She doesn't like to talk about her old group of friends before joining the NSS (they be dead.) -Was lucky not to get any lasting scars from the sanitation event in OE, but that does not mean she didn't get scars later down the line -Probably would be an angel clubhook squid

Chase (Agent 4) -Self appointed meme master -Friendly, but also likes to play pranks -Doesn't get invited to missions ofter -Absolutely love squee-gs and autobombs, keeps them around his house and they roam around -His favorite is a squee-g named pablo -Also stole one of those sea cucumbers from the deepsea metro and has one of those -brush main. does not like chargers. -Fond of history, doesn't get to talk about it much -probably would be a humbolt squid, albeit a small one

Ray (Agent 8) -Universe's favorite chew toy -Prone to nightmares and anxiety -Shy, but nice. Braver than he thinks he is -brella main -ungodly dancer. you should see his moves when he plays squidbeatz -Likes to keep everything tidy -Probably either a dumbo octopus or an umbrella octopus

Coral (Agent 12) - Was originally a backup for agent 4 if he wasn't good at agent work - A little better but not by much - Secret finder extrordinaire -has a vendetta against birds (the feeling is mutual) -Prone to changing mood based on the moods of others. If someone is crying, chances are she's now crying too. -Probably a glitter squid (bigfin reef squid)

Ruth (Neo Agent 3) - Carries a switchblade at all times - Unhinged and wild - A bad influence, but is good at fighting - Part of her beak is chipped from a fight. She still has the piece, and treats it like a trophy and has a special case for it and everything -Extremely good throwing arm, getting hit by something thrown by her HURTS. -Has a brother that doesn't know about hew work as an NSS agent, or even chooses to care -Doesn't like bread crust, and feeds it to Katrina -Probably some species of whiplash squid (with photophores)

Killer Apostle to the Terrible Ruler Inasore (Katrina) - Ruth's little buddy (NOT A PET) - The bane of ankles everywhere - trans salmon trans salmon trans salmon- (dont ask me how this works, i dont know.) -Thinks of everyone in terms of strength in battle, and can literally smell weakness -Very defensive of Ruth, and protects her the best she can -Knows a little of the inkling language, but knows more octoling because of the salmonid's relationship with the octarian army

#splatoon #splatoon 3 agents #my art #my ocs #oc posting #oh yea if you have any questions are anything please ask me i will be very happy to answer them!

[forgottenvice]

Migrating some of my twitter threads here for posterity and all that

Some #cumplane #svsss discord musings that I'm putting here so I don't forget about them. All starting because I found this gif

Airplane Shooting towards the sky definitely wears this for his public appearances. Specifically at this one Con where superfan Peerless cucumber is planning to attend.

Shen Yuan has printed out every detailed rant and diatribe he's ever done on the book, printed it out and then had a friend bind it for him so he can give it to the hack author. His sister is coming with him so she can get his copy of PIDW signed in secret.

But SY starts having a very very bad con. His sister; being a little shit, convinces him cosplaying as his internet handle would be hilarious. He was never all that good at saying no to her.

Except nobody seems to get the joke. They keep calling him pickle rick!

Like he'd ever enjoy something so trashy as Rick and Morty

 He gets angrier and angrier when people stop him for photos. His sister is having a great time.

Unfortunately due to his stupid decision by the time they make it to Airplane's booth the line is cut off.

He had prepared so much for meeting the author to tell him to his face how much he'd wronged his main character and how Luo Binghe deserved happiness not a harem. But now he can't even get a glimpse of the man because his face is covered BY A FUCKING AIRPLANE MASK.

He can't even get his copy of PIDW signed on the DL by his sister because she missed the cutoff too. She has also by the way has abandoned him for some bayonetta cosplayer.

So he's stuck by himself in a stupid cucumber costume (IT'S NOT A FUCKING PICKLE!)  and his sister has the hotel key and he's tired and hungry and a little overwhelmed by the crowd. BUT HE'S NOT POUTING!

He's just regrouping in a quiet corner of the convention center.

If he was being honest he was seconds away from a meltdown. The only saving grace was that he was basically alone, except some asshole just had to ruin it walking right up to him and sitting down next to him.

"Rough day huh? is it the pickle costume?"

"IT'S NOT A FUCKING PICKLE!" Some how his outburst doesn't even phase the guy.

 "Okay, then what is it?"

"It's... a cucumber," That really doesn't sound better and the raised eyebrow he gets seems to agree, "It's a stupid joke about my internet handle."

"A joke that only one person would probably even get but I can't even see his reaction because the line got cut off and now I just feel like a dumbass."

 "Story of my life, so what's so important about this joke." Shen Yuan thinks this guy is mocking him but when he looks over.

there seems to be a mischievous curiosity behind the question. Before he knows it Shen Yuan is spilling his guts about the whole situation, it feels kind of good to rant about the whole thing.

 And he probably did go through maybe a little to much effort for a damn joke.

The stranger nods sagely throughout, politely listening to the whole story flipping through the bound copy of his critiques. He doesn't ad much but still it helps calm Shen Yuan down.

Rant over breathing heavily he looks to his audience for some sort of reaction.

The man looks at him solemnly, places a hand on his shoulder and utters.

 "That's rough buddy."

He then proceeds to stand up and walks a few steps down the hall before pulling something over his face.

A mask.

An Airplane Mask.

The now masked author gives him a thumbs up.

 "Nice to meet you cucumber bro!" before running away like the little shit he is.

SY feels his blood pressure rising.

IT WAS AIRPLANE THIS WHOLE TIME?!

He felt beyond embarrassed.

Thankfully his sister found him before he committed homicide.

 She pulled him to his feet and grabbed the bound critique and they made their way to the food vendors.

It wasn't until he was halfway through his greasy con fries when his sister pointed it out.

"I can't believe you got this signed?"

"What?" He hadn't worked up the courage to tell her yet but she was holding open his stupid rants about PIDW and on the inside cover was a signature.

"Cute pickle, Love Airplane"

#Cumplane #SVSSS #threadfic #my writing #ideas #shen yuan #shang qinghua #scum villain self saving system

[billthedrake]

ORAL FIXATION (PART TWO)

(This is a story I wrote years ago and decided to rework and expand.)

The next Friday was an away game, and Dad didn't have the chance to suck me Saturday morning. I was feeling pretty horny. Jake was staying over at my place that Saturday evening, and while initially I didn't have an ulterior motive - it was just hanging out with my best friend - I did start to think that yeah, maybe Jake and I could stroke off together or something.

It was dinner time when I realized Dad was in a horny mood himself. He usually was cool as a cucumber around Mom, but that night he kept sneaking glances at me during dinner. I couldn't help but horn up at the table, which made me embarrassed, but I couldn't help it.

I half expected Dad to find a time to blow me, but I guess we couldn't get away for privacy, at least not safely.

Jake's mom dropped him off around 8, and we went up to my room to play video games. We played and shot the breeze for a while, but pretty quickly I realized that sex was on Jake's mind too.

"So, dude..." he started. "Too bad you got your dad at Carson's party." It was Jake's first time at Carson's key party, and we hadn't really had a chance to talk about the experience.

I shrugged. "It's cool. I've yet to find a guy who's as good as Dad is, actually." For some reason I blushed to say it.

Jake smirked and looked over. "Yeah, Walsh? How many have you had?"

"Three so far," I reflected back on previous parties. I'd had Mr. Ramirez once and Mr. Carson twice. I'd enjoyed both but Dad was hands-down better at sucking dick. "Dad's the best so far." I paused and gave a lewd grin. "Like toe-curling cum good."

"Fuck!" Jake hissed. "And I thought I was lucky getting Mr. Heller."

"How was he, bud?" I asked, intrigued. My mind occasionally drifted back to the intense look in Dave Heller's face as he eyed me up. There was something exciting and alluring about that kind of raw desire. But the blowjobs at home kept my mind off that lately.

Jake smiled. "Wild, man. The dude loves getting his mouth fucked."

"You mean...?" I asked. I knew a good bit about sex but was still pretty green when it came down to it.

My friend nodded. "Yeah, he told me to hold his head and just go for it. Dude likes it that way."

"Damn..." I hissed. Jake's dick was bigger than mine by an inch. "You're pretty big, too."

"That fucker took it. It was incredible. I've been trying to convince Dad to let me do it that way," Jake said.

My dick surged hard. It was already firm from the sex talk but imagining Mr. Gehring getting face fucked was a huge turn on. "Yeah? That's be so hot."

"You're just crushed out on my dad," Jake teased with a light punch to my muscular shoulder.

"Sorry, man," I said. "Your dad's hot as fuck. You gotta see that."

Jake gave a friendly smile. He just liked teasing me. "Oh yeah. Your dad, too." He lowered his voice in a conspiratorial tone and asked, "How often he go down on you, bud?"

"About three times a week," I smiled. "It'd probably be three times a day if we found the chance."

"Tell me about it," Jake said. "Dad and I have it up to once a day now. It's hot as fuck. Gotta be careful, though."

"Yeah," I said wistfully. I know had an intense desire to make it daily with Dad. "You know I envy Matt Carson sometimes... getting head as often as he wants." I felt guilty saying that. I loved my mom and didn't want her gone. But the horny, selfish part of me knew if she wasn't in the house, I'd be getting a lot more sex.

Jake grinned. "Probably not the only reason you're jealous of Carson. I've heard the dude's eleven inches."

"For real?" I asked.

Jake nodded. "I haven't measured it. But I wouldn't be surprised. I'd love to see Mr. Heller take that horse dick for sure," he laughed lewdly.

Just then we heard a knock at my door. I kind of pulled my video controller onto my lap to hide my boner, and noticed Jake did, too.

"Yeah?"

Dad poked his head in. He was wearing pyjamas but was bare chested, like he was getting ready for bed. I guess my father had a more normal build for a man his age, with a little padding around his middle, but he looked masculine and hot just then. "You fellas doing OK?" he asked.

Jake nodded. "Oh yeah. Mr. Walsh. Mike and I are just talking. We're not being too loud are we?" I had a pretty good idea Jake knew we weren't being too loud, but he was just doing the polite guest thing.

Dad shook his head. "No you guys are fine. Stay up as long as you like...." He kind of looked at me, then Jake with a quiet intensity, then added in a soft voice. "You know I thought I'd see if I could interest you in a blowjob before bed."

I wasn't surprised Dad asked, but this was a new thing. Him blowing another guy in front of me.

I heard my friend's voice beside me. "Not going to turn one of those down, Mr. Walsh," he said and as I turned toward him I saw him slide his shorts down over his semi-erect dick.

Dad's eyes widened and I saw a little smile form on his lips. Jake is bigger hung than me, and I didn't know for sure Dad liked his size, but I knew then he relished sucking a new cock in the little group that Mr. Carson ran.

His eyes had a quiet hunger as he looked to me. "What about you, Junior?"

"Oh yeah," I said, pushing my shorts down too. My dick was getting fully boned, just a few seconds behind Jake's erection.

Dad nodded and knelt down in front of Jake. "Guests first," he grinned, reaching out to run his fingers softly along Jake's hardon. My buddy grinned and kind of leaned back with expectation. With a complicit grin, he added, "Mrs. Walsh's sound asleep, so let's take our time."

And with that Dad leaned down and started licking Jake's dick.

Jake kind of grinned down, in a cocky look. I guess I'd never taken that attitude toward my father, but I could see why my friend did. Our dads blew us regularly, and it was easy to let that go to your head. I kind of scooted over so my leg was pressed next to Jake's. I was more muscular, but my friend had nice, toned legs with just a little bit of fur coming in.

Jake looked up at me with a smile. "Sorry to take shot gun, bro," he winked.

I laughed and watched as Dad started taking Jake's big dick into his mouth and actually go down on him.

"Oh fuck, dude...." my friend hissed, trying not to be too loud. "Suck my dick, Mr. Walsh..."

Dad responded to Jake's words with a deliberate movement of his head up and down. It was wild to see my professional, 45 year old father servicing Jake Gehring.

Jake hissed and spread his legs, then ran his hands along the back of Dad's neck in an encouraging gesture. As Dad went deeper on him, Jake grunted his appreciation.

"Mike, dude, you weren't lying... your dad's a pro."

I had a strange pride from the compliment. "I told you, man," I said.

I wasn't sure how Dad was going to react to us talking about him like that, but he seemed to work Jake more fervently. I watched my friend give into the pleasure, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes. He didn't push Dad down on his groin, but his hand was more firmly on Dad's head guiding him up and down.

Suddenly Jake's eyes popped open and he leaned back forward, looking down at Dad blowing him. "Oh, man... so good, Mr. Walsh.... yeah, just like that... you're gonna make me cum if you keep doing that.... yeah... oh God, oh Fuck, oh FUCK!"

Jake's face turned red and his body tensed, and I could actually hear the gulping sounds as my father drank my friend's cum.

"Oh fuck, dude..." he growled as Dad nursed the last dribbles from his pulsing dick.

I was feeling horny and impatient so I kind of pushed Jake to urge him to scoot over. My friend laughed and I saw Dad did, too, but I didn't care. I needed to get off right then.

Dad was still smirking as he took me into his mouth. Same technique, same skill as always, but having Jake there watching added another layer of hotness. Like, I was doubly aware that it was my own father giving me head.

My dad was extra worked up, too, and the extra suction was almost too much on my dick. Almost.

"Oh shit," I hissed, trying not to be loud. "Suck my dick, Dad. Show Jake how much you love blowing your own son." I blushed red saying that out loud, in front of Jake, but I loved how my friend and I now shared this experience.

I leaned back and watched Dad excitedly work my bone. I felt myself getting closer. "Come on, Dad, work that load out. Gonna be a big one tonight."

I could tell Jake was watching us, or maybe watching Dad in particular, and I knew he was surprised by how verbal I was.

"My dad's a hot fucking cocksucker," I now growled, riding the edge of orgasm. "I bet if I brought any of my buddies over you'd suck them too."

Every time I worried I was going too far with the sex talk Dad just put me at ease but getting visibly more worked up and doubling his efforts on my hardon.

But it was Jake's actions that tripped my wires. With a soft but urgent "Suck his dick, Mr. Walsh," my buddy placed his hand on the back of Dad's head and started pushing him deeper on to my bone.

I lost it, firing good and heavy into Dad's mouth, just as Jake's lips crashed against mine. It was a deep kiss, but quick, and when my friend pulled back he had a knowing smile on his face. Communicating that we both shared a lot, and we'd probably find out we shared more.

I think the rougher treatment kept Dad from focusing on his own orgasm while he sucked but he had a wild, turned on look on his face as he leaned up and started stroking feverishly.

"Oh fuck," he grunted and white hot seed flew all over me, dotting my shirt and crotch with his cum.

"Man, go for it, Mr. Walsh," Jeff exclaimed excitedly. I noticed he was still hard and was kind of massaging his dick as he watched.

Dad's chest heaved as he caught his breath. He looked at Jake and smiled. "I didn't think I could wait till I got you at one of Carson's parties, Jake. Hope your dad doesn't mind."

Jake shook his head. "I'm pretty sure he won't, Mr. Walsh. I shouldn't say who... but there's this teacher at school who sucks me off pretty regularly. Dad knows and is cool with it."

Dad nodded in acknowledgment then gave me a quick look. I knew what was on his mind. He was wondering if I got serviced by this teacher, or anyone else. I didn't say anything, but I knew Dad and I should talk about it, in case any opportunity ever came up.

"Well," he said, standing up and stuffing his spent cock back into the fly of his pyjamas. "That was amazing, boys. Thanks for that."

"You bet," I said, mimicking Jake's nonchalance. He'd already pulled his shorts on and picked up the control of the video game.

"Anytime Mr Walsh," he chuckled.

"All right, see you in the morning."

"Good night, Dad," I said.

*****

I did see Dad in the morning, but I felt his mouth first. He'd woken me up with head, and it took me a few seconds as I came to recognize where I was. My buddy Jeff was asleep next to me as Dad slowly, expertly sucked me off.

I gave him a silent pat on the side of his face after I came. My father was the best. He gave me a wink as he gave my cock one last kiss then scooted over and peeled back the sheet from Jeff's sleeping teen body. My buddy's hardon tented the shorts he'd slept in and I watched excitedly as Dad gingerly peeled them over and off his crotch.

Then my father leaned forward and proceeded to wake Jeff up in the same manner he'd just done me. It was wild to experience that as a spectator, seeing Jeff's young lithe body jerk in his sleep then his eyes open up.

"Oh hell... nice, Mr. Walsh," he said in his throaty morning voice before he slowly succumbed to Dad's skills and shot his own load.

"I thought I was just having a good dream," Jeff said as Dad pulled off him, swallowing the remnants of his cum.

#drakestories

[kaitaiga]

OC Interview

G'day! I felt like doing some writing tonight and I remembered I saw this OC Interview thing going around, so I thought I'd give it a crack! I did something like this a while back but in an ask game. I had so much fun with it so why not do it again!

It's pretty long and is written from your pov (the interviewer!). I hope you enjoy and I'd 100% recommend you give it a go yourself with ur own ocs!

August 2022

You trailed behind a tall man with a thick moustache and cap, trying your best to keep up with his quick pace and long strides.

“You, wouldn’t think he would mind, right?”

“Hm?” He glances over his shoulder at you. “What? Nah. You’d actually probably make his day more than anything. Bit of time off trainin’ would make any bloke ‘ere happy.”

You were visiting the main barracks of the 2nd Commando Regiment in hopes of interviewing a special forces operator about his life outside the military for your class assignment. A brother of a friend of yours just so happened to be an acquaintance to one, and he agreed to meet you.

The man, who introduced himself as Lachlan, lead you over to a quiet corner overlooking a large grassy field with soldiers running about, fitted with a small round table and two chairs. He gestures his head for you to take a seat.

“Right. I’ll be back for ya with Damo in a moment. Don’t go runnin’ off now, will ya?” He says firmly.

“O-okay.” Not like you were, anyways.

Ten minutes go by…

Sigh. He is taking an awfully long time. You skim over the questions you had prepared on your laptop once more, making sure everything was in order. You didn’t want to take up more of the valuable training time of that soldier. When suddenly…

“G’day,” startles you and you swivel around in the chair, looking up at the tall, blond man as he places a hand on your shoulder to ground you. “Haha! Sorry darl’ didn’t mean to scare ya” he says with a warm smile.

He moves past to sit in the chair across the table from you and as he does so, you could smell the overwhelming scent of men’s body spray, deducing that he just applied some before coming to see you out of consideration.

“You must be Damien, right?”

“Yep, that’s me, love.”

“Alright! Are you ready to answer a few questions?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Basics

Name:

“Damien Whitlock. You can just call me Damo though, that’s what most blokes refer to me as. Sergeant in the Second Commando Regiment.”

Are you single?

“Woah! Crackin’ onto me ‘ere, are we love? We just met! *laughs* Buy me a drink first, would ya? Haha. Nah yeah, I’m single alright.”

Birthplace?

“Was born in Sydney, though was raised on a farm in the countryside for most of me life. Only really came up to Sydney to go to boardin’ school.”

Hair colour?

He reaches up and tugs on a chunk of his hair. “What colour does this look like to ya?” he snorts. “Red? You callin’ me a ranga? Don’t insult me. Blond.”

Eye colour?

He hums and leans forward so you can get a better look into his eyes over your laptop screen. “Blue. Blue, Gray. Something of the sorts, I reckon.”

a/n: puppy eyes…

Birthday?

“7th March. 26 right now…gettin’ bit old now, aren’t I?”

Gender?

“Male, last time I checked.”

Mood?

He shrugs, “Eh. Livin’ the dream, honestly. Not much to whinge about right now, and not much to be over the moon about either.”

Are you happy?

“Pleasantly. It’s because I’m not havin’ to do what those fellas down there are doing right now” he says whilst peering out of the window besides you.

Are you angry?

“Nah. Cool as a cucumber.”

Summer/Winter?

“How ‘bout neither. I’m an autumn man. Not too hot and not too cold to get shit done. If I had to choose though, winter. Nice to rug up in layers of clothes or walk anywhere without bustin’ a sweat.”

Morning/Afternoon?

“Mornin’. The air feels nice and it’s quiet. Just the way I like it, believe it or not.”

Eight Things About Your Love Life

Are you in love?

“Can confirm that I am indeed, not in love.” He nods. “Maybe with my ute though.”

Who ended your last relationship?

“Uhm,” he clears his throat and looks away at the floor, “Reckon it was me? Given I did in fact catch her with another bloke, in me own bed may I add, and kicked her out. You could also argue that she ended it when she started havin’ it with him. I dunno, really.”

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

“Probably.” He shrugs, “Look, like I’ve turned down people for sure, but they were mostly some randos you’d find at the pub. Not someone I’ve known for a while.”

Are you afraid of commitments?

“Uh, probs not. They sure as hell scared of me though, that’s for sure. Not one relationship I’ve had where I’ve caught the misses doing dodgy shit behind me back. Can guarantee ya that I’m a very loyal person, even when I’m away. Marriage? Not gonna beat around the bush ‘ere, I do wanna get married it’s just…*sigh* never mind...”

Have you hugged someone within the last week?

“Nope. Would be nice, though.” You look up and notice he’s staring intently at you.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

“Yeah, this one chick over in the US. My mate told me ‘bout ‘er. I reckon I only had about one convo with this chick and all of a sudden, she starts anon sendin’ me things and placing things near my gear. Though it was nice until I found out she was literally tryna do a ritual on me or somethin’. Crazy stuff.”

Six Choices

Love or Lust?

“Love.”

Iced Tea or Lemonade?

“I would absolutely kill for a Lipton right ‘bout now. Iced tea.”

Cats or Dogs?

“Doooogs all the way! Love ‘em to bits. Cats are just lil pieces of shit that try to scratch me whenever they can. Also, I’ve been told I look like a dog, can you confirm- “

A few best friends or many regular friends?

“Couple close friends will do. As long as they’ve got my back and I’ve got theirs, that’s all I need.”

Wild night out or romantic night in?

“Night in, thanks. Piggin’ out on food with my misses and watchin’ a movie sounds fucking mint to me.”

Day or Night?

“Love the night. So peaceful and beautiful when you walk around the city, lookin’ at all the lights or when you can see the stars clearly in the country.”

Four Have You Evers

Been caught sneaking out?

He laughs. “Yeah, this one time back in school, Daniel and I snuck out of our dorms to go grab some grub. We were raaaavishing! The food they served us in that school was criminal. They caught us jumpin’ the fence ‘round back.”

Fell up/down the stairs?

“Yeah. Ate shit tryna run up ten floors of stairs during PT. Never seen ol’ Lachy boy laugh so hard, so I guess it’s a win?”

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?

“…Physically? Yeah, probably joining commandos. Christ, I couldn’t even tell you how much pain and suffering I went through in training and the selection course. Worthwhile though, look at me now.”

Wanted to disappear?

“Yeah…For sure. Losing Daniel was hard, but what came after, the grievin’ and the possibility that he could’ve been saved…*sigh*...I’ll stop there for now.” His voice subtly cracked, and you noted seeing his eyes water before he turned away.

Four Preferences

Smile or Eyes?

He pauses to think, staring at the table. You notice a pink tinge appear across his cheeks. “That’s hard…can I pick both? I can get lost in some beautiful, big eyes…the way they look at ya…” He notices himself getting carried away and clears his throat, “B-but a nice smile always makes me heart melt also…”

Shorter or Taller?

“Shorter. Love to just pick ‘em up for the shits ‘n giggles, throw ‘em over my shoulder. Also, great arm and head rests.”

Intelligence or Attraction?

“Intelligence. Love me a smart woman, like yeah tell me about the thermodynamics of a kettle. Draw me the free-body diagram while you’re at it, too... Don’t ask how I know all this.”

Hook-up or Relationship?

“Relationship for sure. Lookin’ for my misses. Not sure if I’ll ever get one the way things are going but oh well.” He shrugs, “Not gonna sit here and pretend that I haven’t had my own fair share of hook-ups, though.”

Family

Do you and your family get along?

“I get on well with my sisters. They’re probably the ones I keep most in touch with, the rascals. Parents I do keep in touch with but…even less than before. They’re still not happy about me enlistin’. Brother fucked off years ago without a trace.”

Would you say you have a ‘messed up’ life?

“Nah. Well, before joinin’ the army at least. No real issues growin’ up but after enlistin’…Let’s just say I’ve seen and done some shit that only so little have the balls to do.”

Have you ever run away from home?

“Nah. Where would I run off to anyways in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere?”

Have you ever gotten kicked out?

“Again, no. I’d like to think of myself as a good boy.”

Friends

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

“If I did, I wouldn’t be friends with any of ‘em now, would I?”

Have you considered all your friends’ good friends?

“For the most part yes. To be fair, we’re all in the military so we’re all a little fucked in the head, honestly. We’re just here to do our bit and clean up a mess.”

Who is your best friend?

“Ah…” His smile fades, “Daniel. Danny, Dano. Doesn’t matter. He’s…long gone now…went to school together and enlisted together. He passed a while ago, tryin’ to save me. Smart fella he was.”

Who knows everything about you?

“Again, that would be Daniel. We grew up together so, he’s seen all the embarrassing stuff. I don’t think anyone else knows me on the level that he did, could be Lachlan but even I’m hidin’ stuff from him.”

--

“Well, that’s all of the questions I have for now, Damien! Thanks for letting me interview you!”

“Ah, no worries. Thanks for takin’ me outta PT.”

#cheeky bugga #anyways this took ages but it was fun! #getting into your oc's mind is very entertaining #it also helps me make out their personality more #bc damien for me can be a bit all over the place #damien whitlock #cod oc #my oc #call of duty oc #oc interview #australian oc #mwii #original character #call of duty modern warfare oc #modern warfare oc

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

I might change a few things in here too, like adding more Kumi scenes, but here's what we got so far <3

Shun was trying his best not to quail at the number of things in the shopping cart. In addition to their Halloween supplies, Saiki had loaded him up to. He had a new wardrobe of basics that actually fit him now, including a winter coat and boots that didn’t have holes in them. His own soaps. A new toothbrush and tooth paste. Saiki had needed to get a new toothbrush holder that had room for more than one.

Shun had needed to excuse himself to the bathroom for a few minutes to have a good cry at that last one. If Saiki noticed his red eyes and blotchy face, which he surely had, he didn’t say anything.

Shun really appreciated that.

He thought he was doing a good job holding up, considering, even though he was getting a bit dizzy from all this walking. But they were almost done.

There was just one more thing left.

“So I know that it’s probably only gonna be the two of us,” Shun looked at Saiki to confirm.

He did with a nod.

Yeah, his aloof and hard to befriend highschool friend was still that, wasn’t he? Heh. Figured.

“But do you, like.” He shifted nervously from foot to foot. “Wanna do costumes too?”

It was making him remember the better days, where he’d been a bit better. A better big brother, a better first son. He’d thrown a Halloween party and nobody had come in a costume. Or Hairo and Aren had tried.

He’d been a mess even then. He’d cried and sulked in his coffin rental. But he’d gotten over himself after hallucinating a monster, and they’d all had a good laugh, and gave out candy and watched movies and had just hung out.

Really, it was a miracle Shun even had friends to begin with.

But somehow, he did.

He still did.

Saiki had made no costume attempts in highschool. He’d always just been there for the candy. But.

Shun smiled a little. “I can paint your face again.”

Saiki snorted at that, and finally the edges of his mouth upticked into a little smile. 

“Sure,” He said, and together they turned into the costume section.

☆ヾ(*´・∀・)ﾉヾ(・∀・`*)ﾉ☆

The weather had taken a turn for the cold and his previously overgrown garden had seemed to give up the guff of growing at all.

Kusuo sighed out a breath and rubbed at his forehead as he surveyed the pile of tomato plants he’d just gotten done pulling out. He still had some squashes and gourds that were putting up a good fight against the cold, so those he left, but the cabbage, broccoli, tomatoes, cucumbers, radish, beets, and herbs were definitely done for the season.

It’d been a good season. His fastidious gardening had helped his grocery bill out a lot, and his friends and family’s too, even if everyone was getting kind of sick of zucchini.

‘That’s the last of it for the produce,’ He thought, lifting his hands and waving them over to his compost pile. ‘Now it’s just the fertilizer and mulch, I believe.’

It was sunny, even if it was getting a bit chilly.

If Kusuo’s company stayed for longer, he’d have to check the local bylaws on personal fires.

Shun would definitely appreciate smores.

He gathered the mulch and fertilizer from his shed, stacking the four unopened bags on his shoulder. They were light, at 30KGs a piece, so it was no struggle.

‘And after that I should trim my hedges and trees,’ He thought. He’d already pulled up and put to compost his wilted flowers. ‘Rake after that, of course.’

Kusuo could get this all done in about two minutes if he chose to, probably sooner if he rushed it. His entire yard, front and back, wouldn’t require him to lift a finger.

If Shun hadn’t been here, he’d surely have to.

But truthfully, Kusuo preferred tending to his home with his hands. The work felt good. Pulling the plants with his fingers and his spade, turning the soil to spread the nutrients, spreading the fertilizer then the woodchips over the most delicate of the lot. His roses, for example, would certainly need the insulation.

It helped him feel normal. And at peace, somehow. One. Connected. Underneath the vibrant expanse of blue sky with his fingers in the soil was one of the rare times he got to feeling halfway spiritual.

He set the bags down on the grass and turned around. His front yard was much smaller than the back, with a hedge of pine blocking it off from the driveway and roses along the front retaining wall, and was where he had the bulk of his personal seating area. The back yard and deck were for work. That’s where he hung his laundry and tended to his food.

His front yard was for relaxing.

Hence, the outrageous number of flowers. Kusuo didn’t consider himself a frilly sort of person, but he wasn’t above being swayed by things that smelled sweet.

Not to mention, they attracted pollinators, which his food required. Bwahaha. It was the perfect trap.

‘The grass is getting long,’ He thought, kicking at the ground. ‘I’ll do that after I rake, then.’

If he was smiling, well, it was his yard. He was allowed to. Because Kusuo wouldn’t lie.

He was proud of his home.

He turned to his hanging baskets, floating up to retrieve them. They were dried and brown, but some few determined blooms remained. As he usually did this time of year, he twiddled one, and debated whether or not he should do anything with them.

“Hey Kusuo! Look!”

Kusuo turned around to find Shun grinning up at him. Kumi was slung to his front, and he thrust forward his hand to show Kusuo his prize.

“Isn’t it pretty?”

‘It’ was a leaf. Kusuo looked at it for a moment. 

He didn’t usually pay attention to leaves.

Kusuo decided it was.

He smiled, and nodded.

“It is.”

“We should keep it,” Shun said.

Kusuo blinked. Keep it? No, it’d only dry and crumble and attract spiders, but-

“You could press it,” Shun hung it in the front of the wrap and smiled at Kumi. “And add it to Kumi’s baby book”

Kusuo blinked once, twice, then a third time and looked at the basket he was holding.

Yes.

Pressing plant matter for decoration and keepsakes, that was something people did, wasn’t it?

That was perfect.

It was Kumi’s first year. She’d like them when she got older, probably.

“Good idea, Shun.” He looked back at the man on the ground. “Thank you.”

“So when’s Akechi getting here?”

Kusuo let the basket drift down to the table, already moving to the next. “Couple days. He just needs to wrap up a story he’s working on in Hokkaido.”

“Is he still, uh.” Shun faltered.

“Yes.”

Shun laughed a bit. “I wonder how Kumi’ll adjust, you’re a bit quiet!”

“It’ll be good for her.” Kusuo paused and eyed his pansies. “I hope.”

Then he looked at the other man and arched a brow. “But he’s not staying here, he’ll be in town. At least there’s that.”

“From what I remember,” Shun hummed. “He’s a guy that’s, uh. Good in small doses.”

“Only when he’s trying to intimidate you. It’ll be okay. He is considerate.”

“...Right. Right, yeah, no, that makes sense. I don’t think you’d befriend anyone who wasn’t a good person.”

Kusuo shrugged. He could try.

“What about Aiura?”

“She said she’d work it out with her manager and get back to me.” Kusuo snorted. “So I’ll give it five days then unblock her.”

“Blew up your phone, eh?”

Mikoto was the type of person who texted via a stream of consciousness, which was to say, the moment she’d been reminded of his existence he’d gotten treated to a tangent of notifications.

Kusuo wouldn’t exactly call that being blown up but, “Yes.” 

Only because ‘being blown up’ didn’t cover the scope.

He wouldn’t say that out loud though. Mikoto was good people.

“What about Toritsuk-”

“No.”

Kusuo cleared his throat a little. “ I mean. He’s busy.”

“Ah. Yes. Alright.”

“Yeah.”

He worked in silence for a moment before Shun’s brain lit up in an idea.

“Oh! I know!” 

Shun’s jubilance made him look at the man automatically, and found him bouncing on his toes. Not for the first time, Kusuo remembered what Shun’s guardian spirit was, and had to hide his smirk.

Shun’s eyes glittered with excitement. “What if we throw a Halloween party! Like a reunion, and also everyone can meet Kumi that way, and, well, it’s just October first, so that’ll give us lots of time to get it arranged and stuff.”

Kusuo blinked.

Huh.

It was October, wasn’t it? With Kumi, he’d completely forgotten-

Kusuo dropped to the ground in a second and was grabbing Shun’s shoulders the next.

“Baby Halloween costumes.”

Shun gasped, his jaw dropped. A fiendish light blazed to life in his red eyes, making his friend look particularly hellish as a toothy grin took over his face.

“Baby Halloween costumes,” Shun breathed.

As one they turned and ran into the house.

(Kusuo beat Shun by an entire kilometre.)

Fertiliser and woodchips could wait.

‘Maybe I should get a car,’ Kusuo thought ten minutes later as he squinted at the bus schedule.

The next one wasn’t for another hour.

“Maybe you should get a car,” Shun sighed.

“Maybe I should,” Kusuo agreed.

After all, teleporting was off limits for babies. She’d held up fine with interdimensional transit in the womb apparently but Kusuo couldn’t help but be paranoid. No. No teleporting for Kumi until she was at minimum five years old, maybe even ten depending on her mental development. Likewise, Kumi hadn’t been exposed to his finagling in the human genome in this universe, or Kusuo was pretty sure he’d only done that in this universe, he…didn’t want to think about that. Anyways, he didn’t know if she could actually stand up to the G-Forces and the like that the humans in this universe could. He’d have to do something about that eventually, otherwise life would only be extra dangerous for her, but he wanted to follow her natural growth as closely as he could.

After all, her mother wasn’t exactly normal either, and her father. Well. Kusuo hadn’t seen him in the prayers that’d gone into the coffee jelly cup, so he couldn’t be sure. He had his suspicions but still couldn’t help the intense paranoia.

Especially after the other day.

When he saw Mikoto again, he’d just have to ask her. Even after all this time, she far outstripped him in her accuracy. 

“In the meantime,” The phone came to his hand. “We’re gonna get a taxi.”

They were not waiting forty five minutes to take a long ass drive into town to play dress up with Kumi for HER FIRST HALLOWEEN. Hell no. This was right up there with his sweet tooth, Kusuo would not be abiding delay.

“Whoohoo!” Shun shouted. “Taxi!”

☆ヾ(*´・∀・)ﾉヾ(・∀・`*)ﾉ☆

So on one hand, Shun was always excited to dress up, and he was surrounded by costumes on all sides. His cosplay budget was gone, and with school being what it was he hadn’t been able to enjoy it while he’d still had it, not for a couple years anyway. School had taken up so much of his time that he’d barely been able to keep up with his friends, nevermind write or play or design or sew or fabricate armour or, well, anything.

Looking back on it, not having that outlet had probably been what’d done it, honestly. It’d been the nail in his coffin.

So to say he was vibrating in excitement for himself personally was an understatement.

However.

He’d never in his life been able to play dress up with Saiki. Painting blood on his face was the closest he’d ever gotten. This was an opportunity to be seized with both hands. He had to get it right. He had to get it perfect.

“No, not this one. No, no. No. Mmn too furry. No, your glasses. No. No. No. No!”

He had to get it right, he couldn’t let this down, he couldn’t fail, he had to-

“Hey.” Saiki was looking at a werewolf costume. “What about this one-”

Shun snatched it from his hands and told him, “No!”

And then he paused. And then he felt himself begin to shake.

He drew the bag in slowly, holding it to his chest. Inside, his heart must’ve been breaking the sound barrier it was going so fast cus that was all he could hear was it booming.

“Hey.”

Shun did his best to breathe.

A hand settled on his shoulder. Saiki ducked into his vision.

He actually looked concerned.

“Hey. Kaidou. Look at me.”

Desperate to get it right, Shun looked at him. 

Saiki smiled. Or tried to. Maybe. He looked a bit too freaked out in his subtle way for it to really appreciate, though.

“This doesn’t need to be perfect.”

Shun stared. Saiki swallowed.

He said next, “But thank you for thinking of me, okay?”

That sounded like rejection.

“Did I,” Shun swallowed. “Did I get it wro-”

“No.”

Saiki shook his head. He took the werewolf costume back and hung it on the hook it’d come from.

“It’s only Halloween. There’s no failing grade.”

Saiki looked back at him. “Okay?”

There’s no failing grade.

“There’s.” Shun blinked. “No failing grade?”

Not for Halloween.

Oh.

He looked at his feet.

Of course.

His priorities. Somehow he’d gotten them all confused. Everything felt so life or death now. Shun looked back up. “I’m sorry-”

But Saiki shook his head. Then he pulled a witch costume down, looked at it, and looked at Shun and asked, “What about this one?”

Shun blinked at it. A witch? Saiki? Then he paused and considered that. Squinted.

Said, “It’s a bit,” He mimed like he was Pinnochio. “Isn’t it?”

That’d interfere with Saiki’s glasses, nevermind, uh, other connotations.

Saiki looked at it, nodded, and put it back. He grabbed an angel costume next. It was still a dress. Shun was pretty sure Saiki was deliberately trying to be goofy right now in his own off-kilter way, but honestly?

He laughed. “Now that one suits you.”

Saiki blinked, squinted at him, then squinted at the dress. He looked like he didn’t believe it. Maybe cus he was such a grump he thought it didn’t suit him, but it did.

Shun, dressed in his borrowed clothing, looking at a full cart of soon to be his belongings and things bought expressly to cheer him up where otherwise he knew Saiki wouldn’t care, knew it to be true.

Facts were facts.

Saiki shrugged and threw it into the cart anyway. “Your turn.”

Shun blinked. “Wait, you’re really gonna get it?”

“Yeah, why not.”

“Oh. Uh. Right. Hm. Oh, I could reprise dracula? Haha, or I could be a devil to suit your angel!”

The devil costumes had more range than the angel ones. There was a dress, a body suit, and a tux looking outfit with a voluptuous looking cape, and of course devil horns and a tail.

Shun did like capes.

Saiki grabbed the one with the cape and dropped it in the cart, then made to leave.

“But that’s the more-” Shun stuffed his voice back into his throat.

Saiki looked back at him, raised an eyebrow.

Shun swallowed and glanced at the price tags, remembered how many times Saiki had told him not to worry about it, and dragged in a deep breath.

“We should try them on to make sure they fit,” He said instead.

Saiki, who’d been about to turn out the exit, blinked. Said, “Ah.” And nodded. 

‘Wait. Did he seriously not think about that?’ Shun looked at the costumes and rifled through until he found the small for him, then the extra large of the angel costume just in case. It was a dress after all. Saiki would probably have to size up. 

Except he hadn’t even thought of it.

‘Weird.’  Saiki had said he didn’t know the first thing about Halloween. Shun just hadn’t expected that to extend to shopping for clothes, either. His friend had always seemed competent in that. But maybe Halloween was tripping him up? Well. Whatever. Shun shrugged it off.

One, wasn’t his business.

Two, that’s why he was here!

“Onwards, ho!” 

“Ho,” Saiki agreed, and together they made for the changing rooms.

☆ヾ(*´・∀・)ﾉヾ(・∀・`*)ﾉ☆

“Aaahhh!” Mikoto squealed. “Oh my goodness lookitchu, oh look those cheeks, I canNOT believe you legitskies found her out in the rain.”

Then Mikoto paused, and snickered. “I’m also lovin the matching fits.”

“I’m not.” Shun huffed. “Kusuo, you’ve had that costume for years.”

Kusuo frowned. “Why is that a problem?”

With his time restore powers, this thing was practically brand new. And it hadn’t exactly been cheap, either. 

Mikoto shook her head.

She was a leopard. Catsuit, coat, cat ears, a tail, makeup and thigh high boots that Kusuo was trying very hard not to freak out over because she was wearing shoes passed his entryway, inside his home, and but they were clean, she’d swapped them in from a pair of flat soled galoshes in his foyer, so it was just habit making him have an internal tizzy about it. 

“Some things never change, bro. Kusuo’s always been a massive cheapskate. If he had to buy a wedding dress, he’d probably wear it every day just to get his money out of it.”

Kusuo frowned deeper. He would. He was glad that was at least twenty years off for Kumi, hopefully more, because he would. 

Shun snorted, and the action made the visor on his helmet fall down on his finger, making him squawk. On account of he was a knight. In armour he’d made himself. Which was precisely why Kusuo had recommended him to Good Smile. His cosplay had suited him uniquely to crafting objects in 3D, even if neither Shun nor his mom had ever considered it a viable skill before.

Made Kusuo want to shake his head. He hoped he’d be better for Kumi. But he couldn’t imagine a thing she’d do that’d make him throw her out in the cold, even after she grew up and stopped being a carryable and adorable baby. Granted, for months he’d been worrying over giving her to a family better suited to her, but that’d hardly make her homeless. The threat of her eventual potential homelessness was what’d forced his hand!

What Mrs. Kaidou had been thinking, Kusuo genuinely couldn’t parse.

But he’d said his piece.

Vociferously.

It made him want to smile, remembering it, but he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to scare anyone. Yet.

“Anyways, thank you.” Kusuo looked down at her and smiled. She was gaping at Mikoto’s face.

Mikoto saw and instantly started playing peek-a-boo. The expression Kumi always made when peek-a-boo happened was a killer, he was glad Mikoto got to enjoy it. Especially with her dressed up as a little angel.

Ironic. Her temperament wasn’t exactly angelic unless she was sleeping.

But with a bit of help, it was easier to be separated from it, and not take it so personally as an indicator of his failings as a parent that. Funny that. Kusuo hadn’t even realised he could take something personally.

He looked at the clock. “Here,” He said, and plunked Kumi into Mikoto’s arms. “Get to know her for a few minutes. I’m gonna get the pumpkins ready.”

“Oh shoot yeah, it’s about time for everyone else to start showing up, isn’t it?” Shun said, and was answered by the doorbell.

Kusuo gave Shun a frown. “You said it, you get it.”

“Hah! Yeah, yeah.”

Mikoto followed him out. “Y’know. Not to be a total bummer on you or nothing, but it’s sorta hard to believe that you did all this yourself. You’ve never been the keener type.”

“I’m a keener when it comes to being a cheapskate.”

Mikoto sent him a look. “Don’t harsh yaself either, babe. You and me both know that maintaining a garden isn’t cheap, on either the wallet or the internal resources. There’s a reason lots of people have to get their produce from the store. You’ve put a ton of work into this place, shit’s obvi AF, don’t sell yourself short.”

She had him there. Kusuo sighed, and looked down at his pumpkins.

Fortunately he had four that were grown enough for the activities.

“I moved up here for a reason. It. Gives me more resources. Honestly I’m still a cheapskate.”

He cranked a vine and it gave a green smelling snap.

“I don’t have a lot of energy, never have. But up here there’s less strain on my powers so.” He shrugged and stood with the pumpkin. “I have more.”

Mikoto breathed a gasp of understanding. “Your telepathy…”

Kusuo couldn’t help but give her a little dry smile. “And my parents.”

At that Mikoto gave a brief laugh and shook her head. Kusuo took that moment to study her. Boots aside, she wasn’t that much taller. But she did look a bit older. It was interesting to see the way that she’d matured since highschool. Of course some things never changed. Instead of sparkly stickers, she had sparkly gems, and sparkly eyeliner. She still dropped slang, but not as much of it. Her hair was even curlier, but shorter, because now she had to stuff it into helmets. She’d spray painted polka dots into it. She was a racer with an incredibly successful career. She still asked him to marry her sometimes, mostly as a joke, but with her career at the forefront for the last long while, they’d actually barely spoken.

He hated to say it, so he wouldn’t, but he’d missed her.

She looked good.

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Besides, it’s not just my grocery bills.”

Mikoto squawked as a zucchini almost beaned her in the head but she managed to catch it and blinked at it in confusion. Kusuo (who never would have allowed her to drop it anyway since she was holding Kumi) smirked. 

“Take it and be grateful.”

“Hah! Okay Mr. I Help Noone But Myself.”

“I am helping myself. Groceries are expensive. This way I don’t have to listen to people whine. Plus.”

Kusuo spread his arms, his wings spreading with them, and allowed his eyes to glow as he smiled. 

“Everyone is going home with a zucchini.” He chuckled a little bit. “Everyone.”

Mikoto blinked.

She looked down at the zucchini in her hand. 

She looked back at him, and her jaw dropped.

“You fiend.”

“That’s right.” Kusuo swept a hand in the direction of his garden, his chuckle thrumming up from the earth itself. “This party isn’t only so people can get to know Kumi. It’s also-”

Mikoto shook her fistful of veggie at him like she was shaking her fist at God. “To load everyone down with your damn zucchini!”

Kusuo threw back his head and laughed. 

And then he accidentally dropped the pumpkin on his foot because he got too distracted being evil and dramatic. “AH! Shiiiiiiooooooopumpkin.”

“I haven’t heard that expletive before. I’ll add that to my lexicon. Thanks babe.”

“I don’t wanna swear around Kumi.”

“Is the pumpkin okay?”

A sharp sigh. “No. But that’s fine.”

Kusuo waved his hand and the pumpkin restored itself, and he bent over and picked it up, then moved to snap the next one off the vine.

“How many zucchini do you want?”

“Uhm. I’ll stick with the one, thanks. I aint fallin into that trap, boo.”

“Tch. Good grief. Fine.”

#freaks fics #single dad saiki fic

[inun4ki]

Get to Know Me !

Name: Taro ! I've had many pennames over the years though, oh jesus too many.

Pronouns: They/Them, but I don't really care what you use.

Preference of communication: I use a combination of disco & tumblr IMs. I don't actually have a preference between the two and, as a general rule, I don't particularly like giving out my disco for any reason. I'm a very private person and I don't like the idea of being constantly available to everyone 1000% of the time - this extends to both family and my closest friends. It's not personal by any means, it's just. I know how I am ( very forgetful + problems with ADHD + extremely shy & awkward + also something of a chronic oversharer ), so I figure it's probably best for me to stay in my own lane and not bother too many people - even though there are times I desperately want to talk someone's ear off haha As an aside, I do also roleplay on disco and am usually more than happy to make a server and all that stuff.

Name of muse: Shikabane Kaede

Experience/how long (months/years?): It's been 17-18 years altogether I think for roleplay, but I've been writing in general since kindergarten. For a time, I went to art school ( and college ) for creative writing and got straight A's, which I find hilarious because I have zero technical knowledge. You could ask me what something is for sure and I'll look at you like you have 2 heads, I'm sorry haha That being said, I got my start in the W.arrior cats fandom, was there a couple years before moving onto N.aruto, then D.MC, started to really create my own worlds and such, before I found tumblr. Kind of been here ever since, bouncing around a couple of different fandoms ( chiefly D.MC & M.HA, and now J.JK ! ) as well as fandomless parts of the community.

Best experience: I've met so many wonderful people since I started roleplaying on tumblr ! I met possibly the best friends I'll ever have on hellsite, which is honestly why I keep coming back. I recently came back after a long stint away that I truly believed would be permanent, but I hit a massive wall in my fics and decided to come back, see if that got me back on the horse. It has, just not for fic writing r.i.p. I've been having a good time since I got back, so here's to more good experiences and memories !

RP pet peeves/dealbreakers: I don't have too many, honestly. I'm very flexible and tend to go with the flow on most things. Anything I don't want to see or interact with is automatically filtered out or blacklisted, so I'm cool as a cucumber.

Muse preference (fluff, angst or smut?): I torture Kaede for fun, so as you might expect, I really like angst. In fact, I probably like angst more than romance, but when you throw the two together? Get outta here, gimme all of it ! But more than anything, I like to experiment with different subject matter - sometimes, the darker the better - themes and genres. Kaede is ordinarily a very difficult character to get along with, which ironically makes him very well suited to experimentation ( which is, hilariously, doubly ironic because he's a researcher in his original canon ). That being said, I love writing smut and domestic fluff as well. I love it a lot actually. If you're down, I'm down lowkey

Plots or memes: I enjoy both ! It's easier to interact with me via memes, however, as I like to write drabbles more than anything. That being said, I also love to plot ! I'm a sucker for building worlds and storylines and getting all embarrassingly invested to the point I make playlists and doodle our muses together... Yes, gimme gimme.

Long or short replies: I have a tendency to write more than I really need to for any given reply - very much the person who goes overboard, though it's usually because I let Kaede take the reigns and do what he does. God, even for one-liners, I'll end up typing too damn much. I don't expect anyone to match my length, though. A big part of the reason I write so much is honestly because my writing is very character-driven, so I focus a lot on what Kaede is thinking, feeling, smelling, touching, etc etc.

Best time to write: Mostly when the mood strikes me, which used to be very heavily at night from 10pm - 4am. These days, I wake early as hell, so I'll write throughout the day as inspiration comes to me between housework & work-work.

Are you like your muse: Maybe, to a point. Kaede has a problem communicating his feelings and needs, and I have a similar problem, though that was entirely incidental and I didn't realize it until fairly recently despite having had him as a muse for 8ish years. I am also a dumbass and have a tragic backstory full of Bad Things, but I think that's really where the similarities end haha Well, maybe I can also be something of a brat, but I'm mostly squishy in all aspects of life. I'm baby

tagged by: no one ! stole it from @arrachnes

#死/// Mun. #/ longk #/ but me as an rper

[kakashissimp]

 Main post: rules & prompts 

I’m so incredibly thankful for each and every one of you. I see every follow, like, reblog, & comment, and I’m so happy to recognize so many of you now. Since I started this blog, your requests have been so amazing. 

To commemorate 350 followers, I decided to start my own prompt event! This is the main post (I’ll pin it to my page!) with the prompts. To enter your request, follow the rules below and create your string of emojis (prompts!) in my ask box!

Rules

Please only request NSFW prompts if you’re 18+ (obviously I have no way of checking this with anon requests, but please respect this request nonetheless)

Anon submissions are allowed

One request at a time (one strand of emojis per submission)

Limit of two characters per request 

Multiple kinks allowed (within reason)

find the rest of my usual rules (here)

Request submission cutoff is November 10th 2022

Please note: I will accept any variation of these prompts, but I reserve the right to select which ones I write. If I don’t pick yours for whatever reason, please know it isn’t personal! I will try my best to do as many as I can.

I will be accepting prompts until November 10th 2022, but the actual writing will continue until I have finished all of the prompts I choose to accept. So even if your prompt isn’t written before the deadline, it may still be completed afterward!

How to submit your request

In my ask box, create your string of emojis that correspond with the prompt elements. You can either type the emojis themselves or physically write out what the emojis are.

Example:

(🚬 + 🔞 + 🟢 + 🍌 + 🔪)

Or

(Tree + green check + blue circle + corn)

Request Details

Character

Kakashi - 🥷 (ninja)

Shikamaru - 🚬 (cigarette)

Kiba - 🐕 (dog)

Naruto - 🍥 (naruto)

Iruka - 🎂 (cake)

Yamato/Tenzo - 🌳 (tree)

Sasuke - 🐍 (snake)

Rock lee - 😘 (kiss)

Sai - 🎨 (paint)

(Sorry if you don’t see the character you want here, these are the ones I feel comfortable writing!) 

Rating

SFW - ✅ (green check)

NSFW - 🔞 (over 18)

Reader’s gender

Female - 🔴 (red circle)

Male - 🔵 (blue circle)

Neutral - 🟢 (green circle)

Prompts

“It’s a good thing I was here to save your ass.” - 🍎 (apple)

“I’d like to see you try.” - 🍌(banana)

“You should’ve just said so.” - 🍇 (grape)

“Make me.” - 🥭(mango)

“Please don’t go.” - 🍍(pineapple)

“I’ve got nowhere else to be.” - 🥝 (kiwi)

“If you don’t kiss me soon, I’ll probably die.” - 🥒 (cucumber)

“I’m not leaving.” - 🫐 (blueberry)

“Aw, it hurts? Too bad. You’re gonna keep taking it until I’m satisfied.” - 🥦 (broccoli)

“Come. Sit.” - 🫑 (green pepper)

“Did I give you permission to do that?” - 🥕(carrot)

“Good girl/boy—that’s a good fucking girl/boy.” - 🧀 (cheese)

“Open up.” - 🥓 (bacon)

“What pretty noises you’re making for me...am I making you feel good?” - 🧈 (butter)

“You look so pretty like this.” - 🍐 (pear)

“You heard me. I told you to take off your clothes.” - 🍒 (cherry)

“You. You are the one I love.” - 🌽 (corn)

“I’m not even sweating yet.” - 🍅 (tomato)

“Come and get it.” - 🥨 (pretzel)

“Ah, my friend looks like he’s about to kill you. You better leave.” - 🥩 (steak)

“I trust you.” - 🍟 (fries)

“I’ve been worried sick! Where the hell were you?” - 🥗 (salad)

“I’m here for you.” - 🍗 (chicken leg)

“Kiss me.” - 🥥 (coconut)

“I almost lost you.” - 🍞 (bread)

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.” - 🍑 (peach)

“Keep looking at me like that and we won’t make it to bed.” - 🍤 (shrimp)

“You heard me—take. It. Off.” - 🍣 (sushi)

“I fucking hate you.” - 🍪 (cookie)

“Let me do this, please.” - 🍵 (tea)

“You need some sleep.” - 🍿(popcorn)

“I’m only here for the dog.” - 🌭 (hotdog)

“Did I stutter?” - 🥧 (pie)

“How long have you been standing there?” - 🍯 (honey)

“Somebody’s in love.” - 🥢 (chopsticks)

“Am I interrupting?” - 🧃(juice box)

“Stop being a prick.” - 🧂(salt)

“I can’t get enough of you.” - 🍬 (candy)

“You’re really good at that.” - 🥪 (sandwich)

“Wanna join?” - 🦴 (bone)

“I want to taste you.” - 🧇 (waffle)

“I’m going to fuck you until you forget that asshole’s name.” - 🫒 (olive)

“Is that a drawing of me?” - 🥚(egg)

“I’ll keep you safe.” - 🥔 (potato)

“Touch yourself for me.” - 🍉 (watermelon)

“Stop distracting me.” - 🍋 (lemon)

Kink (Bonus)

Knife play - 🔪 (knife)

Degradation - ❗️(red exclamation)

Bondage - 👔 (tie)

Denied orgasm - ❌ (red x)

Domination - 🕯(candle)

Switches - 🔦 (flashlight)

Argument leading to kissing/smut - 💋 (lips)

Begging - 🔑 (key)

Blow job/oral - 💦 (drops)

Cock warming - 🍆 (eggplant)

Dry humping - 📞 (phone)

Fingering - 🤞(fingers crossed)

innocence - 🌸 (flower)

Jealous - 😡 (anger)

Mirror - 🪞(mirror)

One bed - 🛏 (bed)

Against a wall - 🕚 (clock)

Praise kink - ☺️ (smile)

Rough - 😵‍💫 (spiral eyes)

Thigh riding - 🧸 (teddy)

Touch starved - 😔 (sad)

Voyeurism - 🛒 (shopping cart)

Unresolved tension - 😳 (blush)

Thank you so much for being here, I appreciate you immensely. Good luck everyone—I can’t wait to see what you come up with! 

All my love, 

- Kakashissimp🖤

#naruto #naruto characters #kakashi sensei #Kakashi #Kakashi Hatake #shikamaru nara #naruto shikamaru #shikamaru x reader #kiba #Kiba Inuzuka #Sasuke Uchiha #sasuke #sai #YAMATO #yamato x reader #tenzo #tenzo x reader #rock lee #iruka umino #Iruka x reader #iruka oneshot #kakashi oneshot #kakashi x reader #prompt event #prompts #follower event #kakashissimps350followerevent