#they are allowed to do whatever they want BECAUSE THEY ARE THEIR OWN PEOPLE

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

27 / 1.7k / spreading rumors about dating Gaz, part 2

⬇ nsfw; mention of revenge porn

...

Gaz doesn't negotiate. He doesn't back down. When the situation calls for it, he knows when it's time to escalate.

That's why he fucks you on your dining room table instead of a public bathroom. Partly because he's not a slag. The idea of you possibly agreeing to do it--of giving him the same ammunition you gave your ex to humiliate you--leaves a sour taste in his mouth. Even if you started rumors and risked his reputation.

A growl rises in his throat at the thought of your ex having the gall to send him that video of you. Christ. What on Earth did you see in him?

Partly, though, he wants to fuck you in your own house so that when he next sees your prat of an ex-boyfriend, he can properly rub it in that fucker's face that you invited him in on the first date.

Or maybe he'll take a picture of your panties in his teeth. He hasn't decided yet.

You're strung out with pleasure, your bare back against the table. You’re caught between wondering why he wanted to fuck you after all and letting every last reservation about it vanish into nothing. You’ve always wanted this. You never thought it would happen.

"Sergeant," you gasp out. "Is this-- what about your reputation--?"

"Don't start." His fingers trail the lines of your body, his eyes fixed on the parts of you he caught only blurry glimpses of in your ex's video. It didn't do you justice.

He wants to pretend there's nothing to this besides convenience--you did owe him. Hell, you wanted to sleep with him. You always made that crystal clear. Now he's just allowing himself to give in to baser impulses like a dog snatching up a rabbit thrown into its path.

But you're right. This will look bad if someone finds out. He should worried, but it's hard to care about that when the thing competing for his attention is the filthy way your pussy swallows him again and again, seeing how slick you leave the base of his cock.

He should've used a condom. He knows for a fact you knew he didn't and you said nothing. He'd tell you off for it now, too, but he's absolutely certain it would just make you cum. The nerve of you.

His hips stutter for a second before he can banish that thought from his mind. He shouldn't like the idea of you being that obsessed. Acting like you'd do anything he asked. Christ, work would be a nightmare if this got out. Him actually sleeping with you. But then again, he suddenly doesn't much like the idea of you finding a different rebound. You'd just be thinking of him anyway, right? Wouldn’t you?

Whatever. He’ll deal with the fallout later. When he's not enjoying your body.

“Who’s going to know?” he murmurs, eyes falling to your chest. “Let it go.”

“Mkay,” you sigh out. There's nothing more you want than to please him right now.

"You'd do anything I asked, wouldn't you." It's not a question. You both know it's true. And he likes that--he hates admitting it, but he does. His eyes drop to your pussy again, and his hips pick up their pace.

You've spent months flirting with him, teasing him about taking you to bed. Now you're getting everything you want. He's right. Why would you care one goddamn second about the consequences? “Anything.”

He hates how needy you sound when you say that. You're too trusting. He's taking advantage of you. Don't you get that?

His grip on your hips tightens, pushing into you more and more roughly. Your moans rise in pitch and he has to grit his teeth.

“Good." He says lowly. "Then you won't tell a soul about this, will you?"

"But--ah, ngh..." You bite your lip as he stops thrusting and grinds himself into you. You gyrate your hips, needing friction. "But people already think we're together."

“Do they? That’s a bold claim.” You're overestimating how many people believe silly rumors. Besides, it's hardly your concern anymore. He lays his palms flat on the table on either side of you, bracing himself. Your skin is so soft; your neck tempts him, but he restrains himself. "You're keeping your mouth shut from now on, yeah?"

You let out a sound of frustration as he slows even further. You try to push your hips harder against his. "Sergeant, please!"

"You want this, don't you?" His voice is chilled, but the heat in his eyes as he stares down at your bucking hips is hardly discouraging. "You'll want it again. You'll keep wanting it."

"Ugh, yes," you snap, squeezing your thighs fruitlessly around his toned waist.

"As long as you don't tell a soul about this, I’ll see to it that you get what you want," he growls. "Not your team, your friends, your stupid ex. No one."

You open your mouth to question him again, but he pulls away and snaps his hips hard into yours. Whatever you were about to say dissolves into a string of semi-coherent affirmations. Yes, you'll keep it quiet. Yes, you'll pretend none of this ever happened. Yes, you'll never use his name on base again. Anything he wants. Just don't stop.

"Good girl. Good girl..." Easy enough. Now that he knows how to get his way with you, you shouldn't be such a problem anymore. He can’t help but be a little greedy, though. "You're not going to fuck anyone else, either."

"Never!"

He grunts in approval. "And you'll never--and I mean never --try to get back with your ex. Understand? You'll stay away from him."

You writhe and plead, winding your arms around his shoulders. He grabs your wrists and pins them to the table, the muscles in his arms taut.

"Do. You. Understand?" His voice comes down on you like low thunder, all around you.

"Yes!"

"Good. I'll know if you do. Mm…" His breathing grows shallow. Your heat is impossibly tight, and tightening up even more. He squeezes your wrists. "You going to cum?"

"C-Can I?" you breathe out. "Please, can I cum?"

His hips stutter and he has to close his eyes for a moment. God, he's never been tested like this.

"Sergeant, please!"

"Cum," he says, the word short and sharp like gunfire. "Cum on my cock. Right now."

He presses his thumb to your clit and you wail, clenching around him like you haven't cum in weeks. Your body rolls, practically convulses, your head knocking against your dining table as you arch up. He lets out a snarl, not slowing down despite how painfully tight you squeeze him.

Once you come down from the high, his pace never slowing, your swollen core twitches and spasms with overstimulation. You cry out, but you make yourself stay in place. You want to keep making him feel good. You want to make him feel better than he ever has.

"Cum inside me," you pant out. "I-I'm on birth control. You can-- please--"

"You're a liar," he growls through clenched teeth even as he picks up his pace.

"I promise," you plead. Even if you're a liar, and you are, you're not lying about this. God, you want him to do it so bad you can feel yourself clench up again at the thought.

You're teetering on the edge of another orgasm when he pulls out, spilling his load across your chest and stomach instead.

You clench down on nothing, feeling a strange sense of satisfaction even as your orgasm ebbs out of reach. You let your head fall back onto the table, your breathing heavy. You don't see his eyes running over you, deliberating.

"Sergeant?"

"Mm?"

"Do you maybe want my phone number?" Almost seems like a silly question. He has your address now anyway.

"Hm." He pulls away, picking up your discarded purse from the mess of clothes on the floor. He pulls out your phone and opens your texts, types in his number, and sends himself a quick message. Then he finds your conversation with your ex-boyfriend. His eyes narrow. The last texts exchanged were earlier tonight. And you started it. You told him you were out to dinner with someone else. Just to get a rise out of your ex. It obviously worked.

That's okay, he figures, opening the menu and blocking your ex's number. If there's one person he does want to know about this, it's that arsehole. Maybe now he'll stay away from you.

You sit up. "Kyle?"

His eyes meet yours, steady and unwavering. "Yeah?"

"Were you serious?"

"I was."

"Even about coming over again?"

"I mean every word I say.” He hands your phone back to you and begins to get dressed.

You watch him, grasping the edge of the table. "When will you be back?"

"My squad leaves on assignment tomorrow. Don't know how long it'll be." He zips up and grabs his t-shirt. "I'll text you."

"Right, right." You suppress a sigh. "Always got a job to do."

He slings his coat over his shoulder, then pauses. He knows he shouldn't, but he can't help but reach his hand out to your cheek. He runs the back of his finger over your jawline. Then he disguises the tender gesture by gripping your chin and pulling it up so you're looking him in the eye.

"Behave," he tells you, voice low. "No sleeping around. No flirting of any kind. Is that clear?"

Your heart pounds. You swallow and nod.

"Good," he says, holding your gaze a moment longer.

As he leaves, closing the door behind him, he curses himself.

This is not a good idea. What's he trying to do, fix you? Stupid, stupid, stupid. This isn't going to end well. You're not good for him. But damn if he doesn't feel more satisfied than he has in years.

He has no choice. If he wants you to behave, he'll have to keep your eyes on him. Whether he’s on base or not.

...

part 1 / [part 2]

more Gaz / masterlist tag

#mine #story #fem reader #soft dom gaz #kyle gaz garrick #gaz #gaz cod #kyle garrick #gaz Garrick #cod #cod x reader #call of duty #call of duty x reader #cod mw2 #cod mwii #tf 141 #tf 141 x reader #gaz smut #gaz x reader smut #cod smut

[faetreides]

modern!feyd thoughts? is he crazier than modern! coryo? i feel like modern feyd would be like a underground boxer or something

this ask is crazy because it’s so good. like i haven’t even considered modern!feyd before but the underground boxer element is 😋, went with the typical opposites attract hello kitty s/o trope again SORRY, mdni (AFAB reader)

Yeah something that like or mixed mma, i do imagine him in a more athletic field but it’d have to be one where he’s allowed to make a spectacle of being violent. The rookie that has a borderline demonic reputation because he’s so vicious. And sometimes he doesn’t even go into fights with winning being the first thing on his mind, he wants a good show as much as the audience does and he wants blood in whatever capacity he can get it.

He’s for sure crazier than Coryo, like lock them into a room together and Feyd’s skinning and deboning him like a fish. Still far removed from how he is in canon obviously, but i think that he does do the same extreme facial expressions during a match to psych his opponent out. Feyd wants to make it big, yes, but more so because he wants a bigger “stage” to have more people see him at his most raw and real.

But he stays because he knows no professional organization worth their salt would turn the other cheek when he loses control and kills his opponent. Not that that’s a common occurrence or anything, but the chance of it happening is never zero.

(His uncle definitely has a hand in the betting that goes on at his matches, and even places his own bets from time to time. Feyd’s resentment grows with every rigged match. He’s an unhinged freak with a penchant for blood lust, but he does still want to win at the end of the day when he’s done playing with his food)

You’re in the crowd for one of his matches. Attracted by the mystery and the taboo nature of what he does. You look nervous, rocking from side to side as your eyes follow every punch and dodge. You’re out of place, sticking out like a sore thumb in your tennis skirt and hello kitty necklace. There’s no date hanging on your arm or friend chatting your ear off, which leaves you ripe for the picking.

He keeps an intrigued watch on you out of the corner of his eye, hollering and crowding his opponent against the ring. He hopes you’re watching as he pummels his fists into the sorry bastard’s face. The low lights and the cheers from drunks and gamblers get his blood pumping. Even through all that background noise, he hears you softly gasp as teeth clatter to the floor.

Underground Boxer!Feyd who stares you right in the eyes when he’s declared the victor of the match, clocking how much you’re playing with the hem of your skirt. He smiles, a gross expression stained crimson and spits at his feet. It’s a good thing you’re so strangely accepting, his muscles are too sore to chase you down through back alleys and city streets.

He’ll burn through his winnings to give you the life you deserve, and he’ll wash the blood off you both when you get home after a fight. He can’t wait to see how you react to the motorcycle he’s got parked outside.

Fucks you against the cage when no one else is there and on his motorcycle. Gives you backshots in the shower, killing two birds with one stone. Bends you over his prize money and makes you squirt until you pass out on top of it.

Mean mean mean bf but he loves his favorite cheerleader with everything he has.

#this also opens the door for paul as a rival ????? #anon you’ve opened my eyes to such a good au #feyd rautha x you #feyd rautha smut #feyd rautha x reader #feyd rautha #feyd x you #feyd x reader #feyd smut #dune #dune x you #dune x reader #dune smut #dune part two #dune part 2 #austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x you #⚰️.deaddove #modern!feyd rautha #feyd fanfiction #feyd oneshot #feyd imagine #feyd rautha fanfic #feyd rautha fic #feyd rautha imagine #yandere smut #male yandere smut

[redjayson]

oh boy, now that chapter 17 is posted I can talk about some of the extras that I want to write in full at some point! since that’s rather far off in the future (and probably a lot of work when second-hand alibis still has its own Incredible Amount of Work left), have some quick and dirty snippets/ideas of what they might look like.

first one is a "su xiyan lives" spin-off:

exactly what it says on the tin. shen yuan makes a deal with the system (which would have to be somewhat less strict in this scenario) or he gets his hands on a macguffin or something and manages to make it to the luo river in time to help su xiyan through luo binghe’s birth and save her life afterwards

that, then, leaves them both desperately injured with a (somewhat unhappy) baby in the middle of winter when huan hua is undoubtably searching for them and their only allies probably think shen yuan and su xiyan betrayed them

shen yuan has the bright idea to lead them down the river to the washerwoman who was luo binghe’s adopted mother in proud immortal demon way. she’s kind enough to take them in, softened immensely by the baby and by how injured and grief-stricken shen yuan and su xiyan are

shen yuan and su xiyan slap up every (subtle) barrier and disguise and warding talisman that they can possibly think of to help hide them from any huan hua searchers, before collapsing from the expenditure of energy. shen yuan possibly uses his altered-but-no-longer-untested body-stasis talisman on su xiyan, who is predictably Not Amused by the recklessness of shen yuan having used this on himself, but it gives them more time to handle the poison while also allowing su xiyan’s qi to replenish itself and hold off the effects of the poison trying to kill her while they find an actual cure for it (assuming shen yuan's macguffin/system deal wasn't enough)

they both heal. they help around the house as much as possible, and gift the washerwoman with as much money as she’ll take from them, which is far less than she deserves for all the kindness she’s showing them. eventually, they’re healed enough to begin moving again, and they judge that it’s likely too dangerous to stay this close to huan hua any longer. 

before they go, though, there’s the matter of tianlang-jun. they debate for days—is it too dangerous to try and check on him? do they think zhuzhi-lang was sealed as well? what happens if they’re captured by huan hua? what will happen to binghe? (yes, luo binghe ended up with the same name as canon. shen yuan only suggested the “binghe” portion of the name, but su xiyan came up with and ran with the “luo” portion of it, because it’s far too conspicuous for a child to be running around with her surname, isn’t it? shen yuan, twin brother of shen qingqiu, keeps his mouth shut.)

in the end, they decide that they’ll take their chances now, while there’s still enough chaos and confusion from the end of the battle + setting up how the guard on tianlang-jun is going to look long-term for them to get close. better yet, if they can find zhuzhi-lang, then they won’t even have to get all the way to bailu mountain. 

whatever happens, it ends up being a bit of a mess. zhuzhi-lang is not happy, but shen yuan has spent years being one of his favorite people, and both he and su xiyan are still moving pretty gingerly when they manage to find him. in the end, zhuzhi-lang believes what they tell him about the betrayals committed against them, too, and agrees to carry the news to tianlang-jun (and plead their case, should he prove unwilling to listen).

after that…su xiyan and shen yuan beat feet out of huan hua territory, taking binghe (and possibly the washerwoman!) with them to live a life as rogue cultivators. cue years of sneaking back into bailu forest to visit zhuzhi-lang and tianlang-jun and try to figure out the best way to help tianlang-jun escape. shen yuan helps zhuzhi-lang get ahold of some sun and moon dew mushrooms, but warns that unless they experiment wildly and are also exceedingly lucky, the mushroom body will fail pretty quickly with a demon inhabitant instead of a human one. 

I imagine that this au would either end up as a su xiyan/tianlang-jun/shen yuan throuple, or zhuzhi-lang might finally shoot his shot with shen yuan and actually get somewhere with it. I lean toward su xiyan/tianlang-jun/shen yuan, just because there’s only so many times you can pretend to be married with a child, spending literal years working toward a common goal and in close proximity and with shared fondness, before you fall into an actual relationship. tianlang-jun is on board with this when it’s explained to him—shen yuan is great! (the wife-beam strikes again, it just took a little bit longer with tianlang-jun because he was so focussed on su xiyan)

also it’s deeply funny to imagine shen yuan reuniting with shen jiu (+ yue qingyuan) and cang qiong mountain sect and boldly gesturing toward binghe and declaring, “this is my son.” yeah, this carbon copy of su xiyan, with eyes that are notably not hers or shen yuan’s? suuure. the other peak lords aren’t going to argue, though, because shen qingqiu looks way too willing to fight them (read: yell at them) about it, and that’s almost never worth it. plus, like, what do they care? 

shen qingqiu, notably, doesn’t believe that luo binghe is shen yuan’s biological son, but apparently he is shen yuan’s adopted son (son by marriage?), so it’s really all the same thing. he’s doing some math about the tianlang-jun situation (as is yue qingyuan) and not liking the answers that he’s come up with, but if shen yuan wants to keep the child, then let him. better to allow a half-demon on his mountain than to lose his brother again. 

shang qinghua is losing his shit in the background. you did what with my protagonist’s parents?! my cabbages plot!!!

#fic: second-hand alibis #my fic #shen twins au #shen twins extras #svsss

[typenull]

on laios's approach to his consumption and desires

i am so sick of people making laios’s entire thing about “eating monsters” and turning him into someone that would eat a pokemon or whatever given the chance, when his entire thing is actually about both being the monster that’s eating, and the human being that’s getting devoured. because “monsters eat humans, that’s why they’re so cool (and everything i want to be).”

laios’s interest in eating monsters stems from his desire to understand the individual species, and has since he was a child reading about their taste in books. it most definitely isn’t from an innate fascination with their value or specific usage as food. laios doesn’t eat monsters the same way that a human eats animals! this is most obvious when you compare him and senshi, who is focused specifically on the usage of monsters as a food item, and a foil to laios - who is willing to eat whatever just in order to understand it a little more.

he may be curious how specific species taste - do walking mushrooms taste like regular ones? do nightmares and living armor taste like regular shellfish? - but these questions stem from a desire to understand them deeper and in turn get closer to a world of animality. personally, i think he would be offended at the idea that his desire to eat monsters stemmed from something so human-centric.

(notice how he seems to care significantly less about being a ‘murderer’ than a ‘dragonslayer’ lol. )

we know that laios has been curious about the taste of monsters since he was a child, but he still takes it seriously. the only reason he eventually resorts to eating monsters with his party in the first place is because they were in a situation of life or death - and laios, like a monster operating under the rule of ‘kill or be killed’, knew that they were going to need to do so in order to achieve their goal on such low supplies. but he isn’t a surplus killer, nor does he kill solely for the sake experimentation or pleasure! he's actually extremely respectful towards monsters, all things considered.

on top of everything... even though laios is clearly pleased about getting a chance to eat monsters initially, since he finally gets to fulfill a childhood desire - this actually sours for him fairly early on. in the monster tidbits page for the cockatrice, we see him lament on the fact that the information he'd idolized for so long ended up being totally fabricated, and doesn't seem too happy about pursuing his 'dream' of comparing the taste of cockatrice and basilisk anymore. i think this says a lot about his motivations and feelings when it comes to consuming monsters overall.

basically tl;dr - what i’m saying is - yeah, laios eats monsters, sure… but he wishes he was a monster too, and he wants his own human form devoured. with this idea in mind, you can consider that by eating monsters, he becomes closer to them, and a little less “human”. (even though he knows it isn’t that easy.)

this actually has A LOT of influence over late-game spoiler-related events - but i'll keep all late-game spoiler meta talk and panels under the cut:

even in death, laios's ultimate dream is to be consumed by monsters and become part of the natural world! but i think what's most indicative of this approach laios has towards consuming monsters is when kui kind of makes it incredibly obvious during the fight with the winged lion, lol. it's the definining point of the entire thing, isn't it?

laios, finally becoming his true monster form, is so overwhelmed by an unstoppable desire to consume his human self, erasing it from existence. he's so overcome with this desire to consume himself that on a surface level, it actually almost ends up becoming his downfall...

..but laios knew this would happen already, and with it in mind, he incorporated it into his ultimate monster self. he allowed himself to be able to consume other's desires - including the winged lion's. by consuming the demon disguised as himself, he's able to get to the core of the demon's appetite...

his same "kill or be killed" monster mindset is what allows him to win against something beyond human comprehension, something even beyond the human-monster dichotomy of this world. laios's existence as a monster and approach to life under these carefully considered rules of respect and curiosity are exactly what literally save everyone's lives, including himself and falin. it parallels all the way back to his initial decision to eat monsters at all as a last-resort decision of life or death to save someone he loves! laios saves the day by not being aligned with humanity at all!

through this laios gets to prove his love and devotion for those he cares about despite how far removed he feels from the human experience. he doesn't need to be understood by humans, nor does he need to understand humanity... as long as he has his strong desire to keep those he loves safe and love them with all his heart, it doesn't matter at all. this entire fight is one giant reflection of laios's inner workings throughout the entire series, and i don't see enough people view it through that lens.

laios is such an important character to me, and this wasn't even supposed to be a meta post, but i got so tired of seeing people make jokes about laios eating monsters nonstop!!! thanks for reading! check out my dungeon meshi tag for more long posts like this one :)

#dm #dungeon meshi #the only series to consistently get me writing meta posts

[max1461]

The natural-rights-flavored Libertarian position is that people have property, and they generally don't want to give it up, so taxation requires the state coming in and using the (implicit or explicit) threat of violence to make them give up some of their property. And this is unjust because coercing people into doing things by force is unjust. I don't exactly think they're wrong about this. But the left-libertarian counter is that holding onto private property in the first place requires the (implicit or explicit) threat of violence, because you have to keep everyone but the property owner from accessing/utilizing the property. Like, people generally want to use stuff, and if you claim that you own something and nobody else is allowed to use it, then you need force to prevent them from doing so. And, again, coercing people into doing what you want by threat of force is unjust.

And, because property rights in our society are enforced by the state, it's generally the same institution providing the threat of violence in both cases! The state comes in and says "we recognize various people as the owners of various things, and we will use force to prevent others from using those things without the owners' permission. And also we want a cut for ourselves and will use force to make the owners give us a cut".

It's all part of one big system!

As I always have to make clear when I talk about this kind of thing: I'm not saying we should knock this system down (or knock it down overnight, or whatever), and I'm not even sure that I could come up with a meaningfully different replacement. I'm just saying that a sensu lato libertarian ethos of "coercing people into doing things by force is per se kinda fucked up", which I endorse, doesn't really get you very far in debates about the nature of property and the just way to distribute resources. A lot of right-libertarians think that it does, but they've just sort of prima facie misunderstood the nature of what property is. The "hard" anarcho-communist take, as articulated in e.g. the Conquest of Bread, is not prima facie insufficient as a realization of this libertarian principle, but it is I think just plainly empirically flawed; like I just don't think that Kropotkin is right about a number of crucial issues of fact.

The point is that if you endorse something like this classical libertarian principle, you have to keep contemplating how to implement it, because nobody has come up with a very good answer yet.

Me. I have to keep contemplating how to implement it. You are me, in this hypothetical...

#navel gazing #for posterity

[xclowniex]

About treating countries the same.

Russia got suspended from the Eurovision song contest after invading Ukraine. Israel is allowed to compete. The pro palestinian movement have made me aware that Azerbajdzjan should also be excluded.

One reason people talk more about Israel than other injustices is because people's respective countries side with Israel and sell them weapons. They are critisising their own countries, on top of Israel's military. There is less use in protesting Russia's invasion, because there already are no weapons being sold to them (from their own countries).

There is a scary rise in antisemitism and actual assults. I dont think that pointing at critisism and call for ceasefire and going "what about ___" is the thing to focus on? You do after all seem to agree that the use of exessive destruction need to stop?

I apologize if it came across as whataboutism, that was not the point of my post.

I personally don't care if a person posts more about one conflict than another.

The point of my post was to point out people's thought patterns, not make everyone talk about other conflicts more.

With the Russia Ukraine war thing, obviously there is nuance between that war and the i/p war. However people who call Israel genocidal often do so because of the death count and claim genocidal intent. It is extremely clear that Russia has genocidal intent towards Ukraine. Based on the two things which people use to claim Israel is genocidal, Russia should also be considered so by their logic. But it isn't which is why calling Israel genocidal is antisemitic as they have proven time and time again that they take preventative measure against genocide.

The thing with Eurovision, Russia was the aggressor and got banned. There was a long term ceasefire in place before oct 7th where Hamas was the aggressor in breaking it. Hamas is also a terrorist organization, designated by the EU.

The IDFs actions have not been 100% the best, however they do investigate incidences where they did wrong, Russia does not. That's the difference. That's why Israel gets to stay.

One is a country doing whatever they want to kill civilians, the other takes measure to prevent genocide and investigates any wrong doings.

To touch on the bit you said about people focusing more on Israel due to their countries being involved, shouldn't they care about all the other countries they send regular aid and military aid to? Shouldn't they want the US to do more to protect Ukraine? I mean, they protest for the US to do more to protect Palestine with aid, so why not protest for the US to do more to protect Ukraine with aid?

All the things that protesters want for Gaza, Ukraine also needs. Yet people don't protest for Ukraine to also get those same things.

#antisemitism #israel #jumblr #palestine #i/p

[misc-obeyme]

Got this chat last night and dnjsffhksodwkodw he's so sweet. I mean, we could all guess pretty certainly that Barbatos would drop anything and everything at any time to help out MC, but this confirms it in a way that makes me love him even more <3

Also! I don't have screenshots of this one, but during the current event, Barbatos reveals that he keeps teas that MC likes in his room. Not only that, but he keeps them near Diavolo's favourites; which really proves we are his two favouties <3 There's been a lot of Barbatos content recently that just proves how much he cares, and I am living for it!!

Just imagine Barbatos having all of your favourites teas and being able to make you whatever you want before you even ask for it.

And og my stars don't even get me started on Barbatos visiting you to help you unwind before sleep. I just know he'd give the best massages, and that tea he said he'd make you? Divine.

Just being around Barbatos at any time is very calming and peaceful (at least in my mind) so imagine what it would be like when he's actually trying to be calming...

Oh yes, I was so obsessed with that part of the event where he talks about his tea shelf, I got out of bed at 3 in the morning to post all the screenshots here. I would've just done it on mobile, but there's a 10 picture limit for mobile posts. :(

Anyway, in case anyone wanted to see the screenshots of that part, they are all there lol.

This is exactly why I love Barbatos so much. It's the way he notices things without being told, the way he just takes it upon himself to bring MC whatever they need, the way he takes care of them.

It's like he's not so wrapped up in himself that he can see what other people need and he takes great care to notice especially when it's someone he loves.

This is the quality that made him my favorite. I'm one of those people who tends not to tell others when I'm struggling irl. Like it isn't that I'm trying to deceive people, it's more that I don't want to burden them with my problems, you know? So a lot of times, it goes unnoticed. Which isn't anyone's fault but mine. But there's something about the idea of someone noticing despite how much you try to hide it or brush it off, someone who won't let you just pretend that there's nothing going on or that you don't need help, someone who insists on doing those things for you anyway. And doing it in a way that isn't like it's some big deal. Barbatos is just like, you are having trouble sleeping, I will come over and make you tea to help with that. And that's it.

I'm also extremely anxious irl. I find that being with people who are calm reduces my anxiety quite a bit. And I just know that even just being around Barbatos would keep me calm. I'd probably be nervous at first because I would think he's soooo cool lol. But once I get past that introverted shyness, I would just want to be with him all the time. Because I'd feel that sense of calm that I don't get to feel on my own very often.

Anyway, didn't mean to ramble, I've written too many essays about Barbatos at this point adlk;fdskljf

It's just that I too was especially touched by these moments! He would indeed be the calming and peaceful influence that would easily allow anyone stressed to relax enough to drift into slumber...

And you know he'd give the best massages.

#though I also very much enjoy being able to take care of him in return #because I find that I often want to be that calming presence for others #even if I can't be that for myself #augh I just have a lot of Barb feelings okay?!? #obey me barbatos #obey me #obey me nightbringer #mjoria #cc mutuals #misc answers

[password-door-lock]

Content warning: manipulation

Unknown has never been very big on giving comfort— or so he tells himself as you sob into his jacket. You’re grabbing fistfuls of leather, trying your hardest to pull him close, though of course, it doesn’t really do much— you’re not very strong. It wouldn’t take very much effort at all for Unknown to simply push you away. But he allows you to cling to him. With one hand, he returns your embrace, and with the other, he pets your hair.

Does that really make anything better? Unknown can’t imagine that it would. If he were in your position, he’d want to be alone. In fact, he’d be shoving people out of his way, yelling, screaming, and slamming doors just to get some peace and fucking quiet. He’d destroy the contents of whatever room he’d manage to lock himself in, and only then, only after all of that, only with no other options, would he allow himself to break down crying. He certainly wouldn’t do it in front of anybody else. 

“Shhh,” he hushes you. Unknown assures himself that he’s only doing this because he wants you to shut up, not because he cares about your feelings enough to actively soothe you. Why would he give a shit about your feelings? He only brought you here in the first place because he thought that it would hurt those liars, and your time in the apartment did not instill him with very much confidence in your ability to handle important tasks. 

You respond by nuzzling his chest and, in doing so, staining his jacket with salt. Unlike all those times when you attempted to initiate a text conversation with him, you don't seem to have very much to say. “Quiet. You did fine.” The comfort that he offers is stiff and unnatural, but that doesn’t seem to bother you as you gaze at him. 

If only he had something he could use to wipe your face. You’re such a mess, with snot and tears everywhere— seriously, he’s probably going to have to get a new jacket.  You blink the tears out of your eyes. “You don’t hate me?” 

This isn’t such a bad question. Theoretically speaking, Unknown has every reason to hate you— you did ruin his original plan, after all. You could at least have spoken to the RFA and emailed a couple of potential party guests— that would be enough to bring those people to paradise. Instead, you sat around doing nothing, waiting around  for somebody to tell you what to do. In that sense, Unknown supposes, it’s his own fault for not giving you clear instructions, and besides— it’s touching to think that you’re so torn up about causing a minor setback for him. You barely know him— you’ve been here less than a day— and already you’re loyal enough to shed tears over the idea of inconveniencing Unknown. 

But, then again, he’s been monitoring the RFA messenger, and actually, your disappearance has done a lot to disrupt the typical functioning of the organization. Thanks to you, he’ll be able to sway the RFA to his savior’s side, anyway, though it’ll take a bit longer than he initially planned. “Prince(ss),” he coos, patronizing you. It’s to keep you where he wants you, he assures himself, ignoring all the other reasons he could have to behave this way. He has no reason to care about your feelings, no reason to want to make you more comfortable, especially not if you’ve already bought into the doctrine of the Mint Eye. One little speech was all it took to get you to abandon everything you thought you knew about the RFA— but, then again, that speech was quite a lot longer than any conversation you’ve ever had with any of those liars. “If I hated you, I think you’d know it by now, hm?” 

“You’re not mad?” You try again, eyes shining as you gaze up at him. 

Unknown ruffles your hair. It actually feels good to know that he can make you feel better so easily. “No,” he informs you flatly. He supposes he can’t really blame you for not wanting to talk to the boring and selfish members of the RFA— though he doesn’t say that aloud. He doesn’t owe you his reasoning. Unknown does not owe a thing to anybody, with the notable exception of his savior. 

“Okay.” You continue to cling to him like a lifeline, as though your well being truly does depend on it. He supposes that if you really thought that way, you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong— after all, Unknown is the one who can decide what to do with you. “Thank you for saving me,” you breathe. This is music to his fucking ears.

Unknown continues petting your hair. Within the next few hours, he and his Savior will have a new and better plan. Within the next few days, if everything goes as he expects it to, Unknown will have his revenge. No thanks to you, he supposes, but still— even if you couldn’t handle working as his eyes, you’ll make fantastic bait. “You’re very welcome, prince(ss).” 

#tw: manipulation #I've been writing so much soft Unknown x Assistant MC lately #I feel like I've been neglecting his creepy side lol #So here he is being a little bit nefarious #mystic messenger #mystic messenger drabble #choi saeran #saeran choi #unknown mystic messenger

[ghost-of-you]

Ima hop in talking to throw my two sense about this major break that’s coming up for 5sos, anonymously as someone who runs a anonymous 5sos confessions blog.

There’s a lot of new people in this fandom who’ve never experienced a 5sos break, and still have trauma from either 1D or other bands who took a break and then disbanded before the reunion. Or are fans of bands who are also in a limbo and are worried about what’s going to happen. (Looking at 1975 fans, I wish the best for yall)

And I’m a mixture of both! I was here for the first break, but drifted into other music genres during it, and kinda forgot about 5sos for a while, but came back within the last 3 years.

Plus for those who were here for the first break - there’s a lot of different factors that add into the uncertainty this time, like Michael becoming a dad!

There’s a lot of feelings being thrown around in the music industry of what happens before/during breaks that adds to what a break means now vs when the first break happened. It’s just… a lot.

Okay, look, I'm nice and I'm understanding but right now I'm gonna sound like a bitch and I don't care. Whatever experience anyone has with any other band doesn't matter. What happened with one direction is different from what is happening with the 1975, that's different from what happened with big time rush, that's different from what happened to why don't we, that's different from what happened to the Jonas brothers, I can keep going but you catch my drift. They are different bands, formed by different people, in different ways, with different believes and way to make music. No one thought backstreet boys were ever gonna come back and they just did a world tour, NSYNC was seen together just last month for the first time in YEARS, bands can take breaks and reform and regroup and move on if they want. I think this expectation that you're owed content all of the time is crazy. Album cycles shouldn't be just month long things. They should be allowed to work on something for longer. They should be allowed to not tour every 6 months. 5sos released 5 album in 10 years. An album every 2 years is a fucking good number. But even if it takes them another 2, 3, 5 years, it's their right as humans to take as much space as they want. I understand why people might be scared, but no one has the right to demand anything from anyone. Maybe Luke and Ashton will release more solo music, maybe they'll go on a tour, maybe Calum will drop a poetry book, maybe we won't see them for 5 years and then they'll announce the announcement of a new song. They can do whatever they want. You can't honestly expect to have access or content or tour at all times. They are grown men with lives and families who worked hard to learn how to exist outside a band they started when they were teenagers.

And yes, Michael is gonna be a father, but one, he's not the first musician ever to have a kid so that doesn't mean anything, but you also can't expect him to not be there for his daughter. Baby girl Clifford should be his priority but in nowhere is stated that you can't be a father and a musician.

And to compare 5sos to one direction is not a fair comparison, one direction was formed in a reality show by people who only wanted to explore them. 5sos were friends first and they are still friends first. Maybe they won't drop an album every year anymore. Maybe they won't make a tour with 101 concerts in less than 8 months. But that doesn't make them any less of a band, it they are doing shorter tours and longer album cycles.

Also, if they break up, they broke up, we can't force them to stay a band.

But I stand by the fact that these men went through quarantine, lost a whole record with calm due to an internal error, dropped their label, their management, both Ashton and Luke released solo albums, with Luke signing a 3 record deal if I'm not mistaken , Michael got signed as a dj and a producer, and they still released a whole album independently that was made the way they wanted. If they were gonna stop being a band they would've done in it in 2020. They're allowed whatever breaks they want or need. They are real humans. And they are not one direction.

But this break they are taking is something that they planned around it, or do you think it's an accident the tour ended just in time for Michael to be back home for the birth of his daughter? This tour wasn't scheduled, they could've not done it. But they chose to do it. But to look at them and accuse of being about to breakup and lying about it because they are taking a break for a very specific and unbelievably valid reason is bullshit.

I don't care about whatever trauma you may have about other bands. What happened to other bands happened to other bands. You can't make a different situation about them because it's never gonna be the same because there's different people involved.

Is their life. Their choice. We're just along for the ride. It's a hell of a good one so far and if this is it so be it. It's their choice.

And honestly, if you're actually this affected by one direction breaking up and this is not just some exaggeration for the bit or a joke, get help.

#seriously this whole i need content when i want it and i dont care how i get it thing is BULLSHIT #boohoo you dont know exactly what the next move of someone will be #get off wattpad and realize that they are not characters you're playing with #they are allowed to do whatever they want BECAUSE THEY ARE THEIR OWN PEOPLE #fucks sake #grow up #if you dont agree with me the unfollow button is right there #this is not something we compromise on #they do their thing we're just here to watch #i was asked #no you dont get the 😌 emoji #anon 😒

[lenasai]

can we please stop with the conspiracy that the government wants to ban tiktok because of pro-palestine content

do you realize how close that sounds to accusations of "zionists controlling the media" (i don't care how you frame it, it's an antisemitic conspiracy theory, please stop)

the us has wanted to ban tiktok for years because the company that owns it is chinese. they literally would let things go on as usual if they sell tiktok to an american company. that's it.

the primary driver is racism, not a conspiracy to shut down activism

#original text post do not steal #i think people forgot about the first pushes to ban tiktok #it got banned from being used on campus-owned phones at my school because they were so concerned about 'evil chinese spyware' or whatever #again: if they really wanted to shut down activism they wouldn't *just* be going after tiktok #and yes i know banning tiktok would set a dangerous precedent that would allow the us government to try other shit #but this has been going on long before recent events

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions #ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person #if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully #that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is #not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion #yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something #like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi' #I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad #honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner #and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion #and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully) #but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ? #im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them' #have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf #its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!' #LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333 #ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious. #MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions #ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol #being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless #but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy #and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize #ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people #so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3 #i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE #watch nobody read this fr #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #meows post

[solardistress]

everyone who is in the stanley parable fandom should somehow get sucked into the rabbit hole of the story and or characters and or the concept the game presents . not like ohhh i looove the narratorso much heres my design and lore for them for it kind of rabbit hole where you fixate on this character that like. you are making uo backstory for to the point it deviates from canon because youve gone too far from the game details or whatever but but really aanalyze the game the moments the dialogue for just a moment . mmfind the meaning in the words . find somethin g profound in the data the papers the desks the situation as a whole . you cant just . romanticize the characters. without. like. understanding them first . tou cwnt do anything with the characters until you inderstand them at a gut wrenching level . at least brush uo on their wiki once in a while ? play the game ? every now and then ? treat stanley right ? anyway if you like the stanley parable so much why cant you tell me about 432 and their situation . how profoundly sad their existance is and how you trea t them. how about cookie9? why do you hate themm so much. because of a review ? tou antagonize them for what ? the narrators doing ? bexause the narrator what . yeah . tou cant even explain his actions . go go play the game and hav eit rewrite your brain . go down the rabbit hole and bask in the true horror and unrealism of their situation

#how sleepy am i jesus christ #tsp #anywayy i think what im saying is pleade enjoy the gamr and the story it has actually theres so many little details and often all i see is #just. the narrator . the endings . stanley. yeah theres feeling and emotion but j want that in words i want to to see you understand it #i want to see you see it in your own way inderstand and process it in your own way and share that #i love seeing analysis posts !!!!! uughh nbrhh. not to say that like. the fanart isnt what i want no i love the fanart so much #but i wish there were more analysis posts or something idk #idk what my point was here #i love characterization . by the way . as someone who would write fanfics and has a pet peeve of correct characterization in fics and such #i just wish more people hnderstood the game as a whole and didnt just end up being like haha ships !!!!!!!! romance !!!!! like yes ! but #but also like they have something MORE than romance. something more intimate and close . not sex yeah sure whatever but they are #connected in the most horrible ways and connected so closely and lovingly and they are connected whether they like it or not #they hate each other they love each other they are each others world they are divorced theyve been married for eternity they would kill eac #other they woukd have sex they woukd kiss they would dance they would do so many things that arent romance oriented but still close in #so many fucking ways because they love hate each other and their relationship is so conplicated you think they just suddenly love each othe #no matter what now ?? after what. you think stanley is forgiving ? after being brought through hell over and over and over again? #no! they hate each others guts i tell you. but they still stick by each others sides because they dont belong anywhere else #theres love but not in any way any of us can think. theres love but not like that but also exactly like that. theres also hate #and its a beautiful mix of the two that allows them to get along so well and endure each other for so long and further #anyway fucking . i forgot my point #anyway go down the rabbit hole 👍 this game is insane and you should be insane about it too #but like. be insane about it . not the concept of romance in this game. do not pair them up just for the sake of shipping #understand their relationship. understand them. understand their circumstances. understand their problems their bate their love #them. understand them and how much they need each other. how they keep chasing and chasing and chasing only to run #in circles. anyway what was my POINT. i ront remember 👍👍👍 #i am . so sleepy

[lith-myathar]

.

#legit though part of why i often find myself more interested in m/f ships is two-fold #a) they still have women in them and b) m/f ships are allowed to be. well. fucked up for lack of a better word #like my god there were people losing their shit about shadowzel and saying it was wrong to ship it #when frankly it's a very tame example enemies to lovers even though we like to joke about ''toxic yuri'' #but there's fuckin discourse about it because istg there's this weird attitude that f/f ships need to be Pure or whatever the fuck?? #have y'all ever known lesbians irl??? wlw are every bit as screwed up as everybody else #and yes positive rep is important but i think queer women ESPECIALLY should be allowed to tell the stories they want to tell #without members of their own community jumping down their throats and telling them they're morally bankrupt #because their ship isn't all soft sunshine and rainbows and equal power dynamics and Correct Thinking On The Issues #maybe policing and shaming real queer women for ''glorifying abuse'' or whatever the fuck #(when most of the time they aren't even doing that!!!!) #is the actual negative impact here

[salsa-di-pomodoro]

If lady sneasler went back home with Ingo i think eventually she would want to try battling with him. I mean it looks fun, everyone tells her it's a good bonding moment for both trainer and Pokémon and it's a golden opportunity to show off, why not? Who's going to stop her, the pearl clan?

Ingo takes a bit of convincing, out of respect for both her and the traditions of the pearl clan, but he relents eventually. He can't deny he's been wanting to do this as well. After a bit of training they have the time of their life destroying people's (read: Emmet, the elite four, other Frontier Brains and generally just other strong trainers (sorry i didn't include Elesa. I love her very much but she is not on their level methinks 😔. Id love to be proven wrong tho)) teams, with a mix of Ingo's old and new team and her as the ace for once in unregulated matches. (Turns out, noble Pokémon naturally have insane stats and therefore cannot partecipate in league matches or official battles. Ingo has to nerf sneasler/the rest of his team or use less Pokémon as a result, but he loves the challenge. He's thrilled when people defeat him.)

(Emmet takes this as a challenge. As long as his Pokémon are on board, he's building his way up to defeating Ingo when they're not holding back. He gets scarily close every time.)

I ran out of space in the tags but blankshippers dni pls. Let's stay in our respective lanes and not interact

#ive been feeling good today!!! good enough to think this up :) #also who else thinks ingo would get some kind of certification for lady sneasler to show that while she might live with him #and be in his pokeball and his team occasionally she is still not his pokemon. kinda like meowth from team rocket #shes there because she wants to beyond just being his Pokémon. do you understand me #anyway yeah there has to be some kind of certification for sorta emancipated (?) Pokémon. do you mean to tell me #that pokemon who have been proven to be more intelligent than humans sometimes are not allowed to just partecipate in society #with their own pokeball in their own hands. paws. whatever #maintagging this feel free to tell me ideas about this. do not send me angst i will explode <3 (serious) #subway boss ingo #warden ingo #ingo and emmet #ingo #emmet #subway boss emmet #lady sneasler #sneasler #btw yeah my headcanon is she absolutely does come back with him shes not losing the only people who actually treat her like a normal person #she might love throwing her title around but damn she'd love if they stopped walking on eggshells around her #she ran put of patience when she met ingo basically lmao #yes this is based on that one post where they say this exact thing. i really like that post #don't know if i should tag elesa or anyone else. there is something going on with her i know it in my soul but idk what it is. #shes very excited about this whole thing whether or not she can safely fight sneasler though. yeah sure ill tag her why not #also once more headcanon time i think pokemon from hisui need to go through training to not absolutely maul modern day pokemon #not because theyre stronger or anything. a modern pokemon could absolutely maul you to death. its just that theyre more used to #self restraint for the human's sake. and therefore would not fight as viciously and may get hurt #Ingo already kinda did this in hisui (and still kicked everyones ass. man they may have been getting better but they were still mostly bad #at battling. he could trust that theyd get even better tho) #anyway but yeah he has to do it again with sneasler and the alphas. #theyre too used to having to kick ass or die and theyre also Stupidly Strong #submas

[j-esbian]

HOAs are fucking wild. you're telling me that even if i legally own this home, i still have landlord rules. who the fuck cares if i have pets in the house that i own. it's my problem to clean up after them.

and who the fuck cares!!! about the color of my curtains!!!!!!!

#since its apparently impossible to find an apartment in my budget around here #ive been looking at condos. and good lord what is happening in there #both of these are real examples btw. i would be allowed ONE cat and ONLY white blinds #the unit that ive been looking at. their bylaws restrict 'any immoral or offensive behavior' without defining what that means #once again. within the home that i would own #who CARES if someone else is fucking nasty in their own house!!!!!!!!!! #like whatever if you want to restrict illegal activity. kind of redundant imo because it's already. illegal but you gotta cover your ass ig #but vague strictures like that?? that can be interpreted however someone sees fit? judging peoples behavior in their own house hello??? #uninformed opinion but this all feels JUST as sinister as the landlord issue. #people try to keep telling me about the GoOd HoAs Do So We NeEd ThEm but like. theyre not my fucking mom #and uhh wild concept but maybe we Should expand local funding infrastructure to cover road maintenance/plowing/streetlights/etc #mine

[anaalnathrakhs]

i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.

#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating #i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice. #i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything. #i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years #i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating #i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group #nowhere i go will be free of obligations #i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway #my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not #they see me binge and nothing happens #we just ignore it #i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished #hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me #i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life #both meals with other people and my ritual binges #i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging #and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food #to other people #it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction #my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want #or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie #or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something #and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :) #and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly. #so badly that no one can deny i need help #i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital. #no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim #i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me #but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care. #so fuck me i guess