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moonlit-imagines · 2 years

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Headcanons for being Adrian Chase’s partner in crime

Adrian Chase x reader

warnings: death, blood, injury, murder, mention of sex offenders, more murder and death, i think that’s it. oh and guns and knives

a/n: ILY ROWAN U REQUEST JUST FINE I PROMISE!!!!

prompt: @amirahiddleston: “okokokok i would like to request that you write an adrian chase/vigilante (peacemaker tv) headcanon about being his sort of partner in crime? like y/n and him are both vigilante types! thank you & i hope i did this right 😭”

absolute shitshow

obviously the only way you two are willingly working together is if you’re both a little crazy and a little insufferable (but never to each other)

“turn that shit up RIGHT now” -adrian while driving

“SO I’VE GOT MY HANDS UP THEYRE PLAYING MY SONG THE BUTTERFLIES FLY AWAY. NODDING MY HEAD LIKE YEAH. MOVING MY HIPS LIKE YEAH—” -both of you with the windows down

jealous of each other’s weapons

“you didn’t get me one?” -adrian, with a pouty face you could sense through his mask

“dont even think about it, vig. i will shoot you” -you

“not if i shoot you first!” -adrian

drive-thru shenanigans

mcdonalds workers hate you

“just pick something y/v/n! you get the same thing every time, why are you acting like you’re gonna get something different?” -adrian

“shut up, i’m thinking. what are you gonna get?” -you

“the same thing i always get. big mac, no toppings, ketchup and pickles on the side” -adrian

“no fries?” -you

“of course i’m getting fries! and a sprite! like i always do!” -adrian

“hmmm, okay. i think i’ll just get my usual” -you

*20 honking cars behind you*

“fucking finally…can i take your order?” -drive thru employee

only ever seeing his below-the-nose area of his face

“hah! you have a zit on your chin” -you

“you should see my back” -adrian with a mouthful of food

stakeouts

STAKEOUTS

*humming harmonies together*

“that was beautiful, thank you” -adrian

“look at that asshole jaywalking, should we beat him—” *gunshot* “vigilante!” -you

“well he shouldn’t have been breaking the law!” -adrian

he always asks to borrow your weapons

like way too much

like he wants to steal them

“vig, have you seen my rifle?” -you

“what rifle?” -adrian

“the R8” -you

“i have not” -adrian

“right…so if i checked the secret compartment of your trunk i wouldn’t find it?” -you

“you would not” -adrian

“i’ll be right back” -you

“wait no—” -adrian

constantly saving each other’s asses

which ended in stitches or gauze most if the time

“hold the fuck still, dude” -you, trying to cover a wound on his side

“i’m trying! remember that you still need stitches” -adrian

him gossiping about peacemaker

like, a LOT

“dude, i wish peacemaker were here. i bet you’d love him, he’s great” “i miss peacemaker” “peacemaker has the BEST aim” “i bet if peacemaker were here—” -adrian

“do you have a crush on peacemaker?” -you

“psh! what? no!” -adrian

him getting you leftovers from the restaurant he works at

“you gotta carb up, y/v/n. that’s very important in this line of work” -adrian

high fives, fist bumps, hip bumps, chest bumps

“oh, ow, fuck” -adrian

“i bumped your stab wound?” -you

“you bumped my stab wound” -adrian

sometimes getting curious and wanting to see his face

“pleeeease? why cant you show me who you are?” -you

sword fighting

“please don’t cut off my arm” -you

“why would i cut off your arm?” -adrian

“well, maybe not on purpose” -you

“i pinky promise i won’t cut your arm off. now that we’re on the subject, will you please not cut my arms off?” -adrian

“no promises” -you

“no, y/v/n, you have to promise. just say it” -adrian

him occasionally letting you drive his car

“if you speed i will shoot you” -adrian

“then we’ll crash” -you

“i have a good chance of survival” -adrian

keeping tabs on “bad guys”

looking up sex offenders in the area and just straight up murdering them

like you make a game of it

“three points to gryffindor!” -you

“gryffindor? let’s be realistic here” -adrian

“harry potter isn’t realistic” -you

“peacemaker knows all sorts of superheroes and you’re telling me you don’t think harry potter is realistic?” -adrian

“what is your obsession with peacemaker, man?” -you

“he’s a good role model!” -adrian

“isn’t he like, racist or something?” -you

“peacemaker is not racist! how dare you?” -adrian

peacemaker is a sensitive subject

you guys are definitely a pretty efficient team

even if you are just two dumbasses in masks

taglist: @locke-writes // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @randomfandomimagine // @summersimmerus // @bad4amficideas // @xoxobabydolls // @evilcr0ne // @amirahiddleston // @sydknee624 // @thedarkqueenofavalon //

#adrian chase imagine #adrian chase x reader #adrian chase #vigilante #vigilante x reader #vigilante imagine #peacemaker show imagine #peacemaker show x reader #peacemaker show #dc comics #dc comics x reader #dceu x reader #dceu imagine #dceu

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sugawara-sweetheart · 3 years

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Lovely would like to hear your thoughts 💕💕💕 and i felt that--my friends are anime only peeps 🥺🥺🥺 AAAAAAAAA PLS i just wanna hear ur thoughts and and what did disc boi say?

omg omg I have so many thoughts so ill write them all out here + people who have read the manga can read. if anybody does send asks based off any jjk manga content plEASE PLEASE PUT A SPOILER WARNINGS IN BOLD AT THE TOP OF YOUR ASK!!

JJK MANGA SPOILERS

kokichi being the traitor was a complete surprise to me but I understand him. he just really wanted to be a normal teenager and thats not something I can fault him for. I understand and his death hurt a little bc mahito really uses people as he wishes and throws them away. also I feel like his death was a redemption for him even though a betrayal is a pretty huge thing. I pity him though and I wish him and miwa could've been happy in another world.

gojo past arc- HES SUCH A FUCKING FOOL I- AGSJSGS HE DRIVES ME CRAZY AND I LOVE HIM but his and getou’s break up hurt. its so bizarre how two best friends went down such two different paths and getou’s development was such a huge shock. as for toji, he was fucking deadbeat. but he loved megumi so much (and my anime watcher friend doesnt get that but I cant spoil it for her) and when he commits suicide in the Shibuya arc to protect megumi, my heart broke. he genuinely loved megumi and abandoned him + sold him to the zenin clan because he wanted to give him the best chance that he could never have as a non-jujutsu thingy person. like the zenin clan is fucking shit but everything that happened to toji was awful and he could've been a good father if it wasnt for that clan. I dont think toji is a bad person, just driven to doing bad things because its the only way to have a best life.

shibuya arc is crazy. im super shocked ans stunned at all the shit that happened and I cant believe gojo got trapped. Nanami’s death also hurt as fuck because he looked so..at peace? but hurt as he left everything up to itadori and trusted him (im tearing up as I write this) and its so crazy how he finds the jujutsu world shit but gave his life for it. kugisaki as well- ik they haven't said explicitly shes dead but shes not shown up and it fucking hurts me too that they've lost of their own and I cant even imagine how megumi and itadori feel.

also when sukuna came along, im so 🥺for inumaki and I hope hes okay. sukuna was fucking hot though and I hope when they animate it they make him rip off itadori’s clothes again. getou’s body also being used by that curse user kamo was fucking crazy too that manga panel scared me but like hes still sexy...but im so worried about the culling game, im scared theyre gonna have to turn on each other (as in the jujutsu sorcerers) in this fight to the death sort thing. and I love choso hes such an amazing big brother- though I once read a theory that they think itadori’s granddad basically cursed him? or something to make him have the ability to alter people’s memories and make them believe theyre itadori’s brothers (i.e choso and toudou who have genuine false memories) and I dont think its entirely impossible, especially considering the little crumb we have of itadori’s parents, his mother in particular.

I also love naoya zenin but I really want megumi to become the leader of the zenin clan and clean up that shitshow. also yuuta- I loved him and then hated him when I thought he'd actually kill itadori and now I love him again!!!

also bonus, I love getou bc he was like I wanna fuck up shit but I also gotta take my girls to a crepe shop ahahaha <333

also disc boy basically validated my feelings about the manga and toji bc my friend wont and agreed hes a dilf :))

#sweetheart asks <3 #sweetheart: anon

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luckycheesefoodie321 · 4 years

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I WATCHED UMBRELLA ACADEMY S2 (SPOILERS + LONG POST)

I HAVE FEELINGS

IN THE MEANTIME

HERE’S MY NOTES AS I WATCHED

TWO THINGS:

A LUTHER APOLOGY SCENE THANK FREAKING GOD THAT IS LITERALLY ALL I NEEDED FROM YOU ONCE YOU MET UP WITH VANYA AGAIN

AND THAT DIEGO V REGINALD FIGHT???? HELL YEAH... and that asshole even conveyed his utter disappointment in his son without even knowing who Diego is

DID BEN FALL IN LOVE?!?!

That Klaus-Allison reunion was so wholesome

OOOH EVEN DIEGO IS FALLING IN LOVE

The Handler is SLAYING this look

Luther sweetie you need to chill and just move on bro you’re freaking out your brother in law

Ok but Allison the badass

BABY DAVID

That sit-in scene was potent...

But yknow I can see where Ray is coming from but damn...

THE HANDLERS DAUGHTER

WAIT SO THE HANDLER ADOPTED STOLE HER

I dunno if Luther is the best guy to tell Vanya the truth but I just want them to have more talking time

I meaaaannnn he could’ve done worse to you bro. He could’ve really turned on you for screwing up but this isn’t bad.

C’mon STOP BEING MEAN TO VANYA

I’m hoping Lila is gonna switch sides bc she likes Diego but this whole cutesy moment where she’s on his shoulder and sharing her coffee with him and feeding him is hella adorable

Awww nooo Klaus

Awww nooo Allison

THREE YEARS SOBRIETY BABY NOOO

GRACE WAS YEEHAWIAN

OH MY GOSH SISSY MADE THE FIRST MOVE

I love that Allison can’t help but let Klaus in and even covers him with a blanket

WHY ARE WE GETTING HIGH ON NITROUS YALL

Wow this is super depressing wtf

GRACE WAS A SCIENTIST did her consciousness just get transferred or something????

Oooh and she was involved in raising Pogo by too

POGO WENT TO SPACE

OH NO POGO

Wow what a mirror of Luther’s accident

I’m sorry was Reginald Hargreeves more of a father to Pogo than the children he adopted

WAIT WAS THE OLD LADY GRACE FROM S1?!?!?

I adore Ben and Klaus but I gotta know if Ben was in love with someone!

Awww Ben thought Allison was discouraging the drinking but once again ONLY BEN CARESS ABOUT KLAUS’S HEALTH

I see no regrets in Sissy’s eyes we are doing well!!!

BEFORE YOU EVEN KNOW YOUR SON YOURE AN ASSHOLE FATHER WTF

That entire conversation between Five, Luther, Diego and Elliot whole Luther was stuffing his mouth with scrambled eggs was just spilling all the tea on S1... Five calling Luther out on squeezing Vanya unconscious, Diego questioning Luther’s feelings for Allison

Ok yknow what everyone needs to stop being so harsh on Vanya

Especially memory addled Vanya

I love that Diego is just exhausted and frustrated and he does accept her apology gracefully

Oh nooooo someone listen to Diego’s girl troubles!!! They really just swerved the poor guy

THIS UMBRELLA REUNION SCENE DAMNNNNN

SO MANY APOLOGIESS

Five has been through so much man seeing his family die MULTIPLE TIMES

TACOS BABEYYY

Bennnnnnnnnnnn we need more time with Ben yo KLAUS ACKNOWLEDGE HIS PRESENCE ASSHOLE

Oho Diego and Luther are finally gonna talk!!

And Luther learned something

KLAUS CALLING OUT ALL THE BULLSHIT YESSSS

And yknow what Five and Delores were the best couple

MORE DANCING

Ahhhhhhhhh noooo Sissy

Oh no now I feel bad for the Swedes. They just lost their brother.

SWEDISH HELLO?!?!?! This is haunting

I’m mad they didn’t fist bump Diego

OH MY GOSH JILL

WHEN REGINALD SLAMS THE DOOR OPEN AND THEYRE ALL SHOCKED SILENT AFTER BICKERING AND SIT DOWN IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT BEING TOLD HOLY SHIT THEY BECAME CHILDREN AGAIN

Klaus LET THEM KNOW BEN IS THERE GODDAMMIT

Wow Reginald goddamn immediately taking notes on them

Oh my god that little playful oops Vanya you baller

Their panic when she decided to showcase her powers bahahahahah

When Diego stutters after his asshole of a father destroys him

Ahh man they really need to care more about Klaus’s health. And he very clearly said “I’m Ben”

What a shitshow family meeting

Lol Luther dragging Klaus out of the elevator while Ben was waiting awkwardly for him to move

That was a weird humanising moment between two old men

OH NO ELLIOTT

NOOOO CARL KNOWSSS

Ahhhhhh poor Elliott

I’m sorry what was up with the Fudge Nutter??? They fully let Aiden slip the f bomb in there

HOLY SHIT I FORGOT FIVE WAS AN EXPERT ASSASSIN HOLY FUCK

Lol Ben and Klaus basically playing chicken on when Ben can possess him again

WHY IS THIS PLAYING LIKE A HORROR MOVIE

Five has got a lot going on right now like damn

OH MY GOSH BEN BOUTTA LIVE HIS DREAMS

Ben really just got sidetracked by what’s in Klaus’s pants huh

Wow Carl you just had to be like this huh

Awwwww wait hang on that Diego-Ben reunion was so sweet!!!

Oh my goodness that standoff between Vanya and Five???? THE TENSION. makes you wonder how powerful Five could be against Vanya

I AM NOT OK. ALLISON AND RAY THO. BEING INTERRUPTED BY THE SWEDES.

BACKSTREET BOYS?!?!?!

Wow Klaus just vomited up Ben

Ohhhhh man I know we’re not meant to like them but Big Brother Swede killing his brother was really sad

This is a wild time this episode idk what ep this even is I haven’t stopped to check but gotta appreciate Luther quietly soaking in the two Fives and then patting down Aiden!Five with a napkin

Rock n roll Herb!!!

BEN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HES AN ALIEN. I KNEW THIS BUT HOLY SHIT

Awwwwwwwwwwwww they all came with!!!!

THE ENTIRE FUCKING COMMISSION HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT DIEGO BENDING THEM BULLETS

OH FUCK VANYA DECIMATED BABEY

SHE WAS ONE OF THE KIDS????

Aww Diego and Vanya

THAT HAT

OH SHIT THEY FUCKED UP THE TIMELINE

BEN MY LOVE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU

#spoilers #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #umbrella academy s2 #s2 spoilers #the umbrella academy s2 spoilers #live reaction #long post #spoiler post #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers

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pestopascal · 4 years

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i remember when me3 came out i hadnt played the others but there were so many articles about the endings and they were referenced in other games too it was crazy so many people were angry

bioware hasnt had a solid fucking game release since me2. hands down. they poured so much as well into dao and me1 they have never been able to replicate it and it shows how badly they wanna do it again. like. they peaked. in writing in emotional depth in literally everything, and honestly the best marketing move theyve had in years is a remaster (ESPECIALLY of me1), bc if they wanna somehow pick up mea after saying its shelved indefinitely and “we’re not touching mass effect again” like... polish up me1, maybe implement stuff they got right in mea, clean up stuff, put stuff back in, fix the fucking saren glitch and sell. me1 was just. never done before on the western market. it was incredible. you cant deny the way it just took off. overshadowed jade empire BUT it rly was that kind of spooky space opera that hadnt been done before. me1 is a flagship game for bioware.

me3 however fell into the classic trap bioware has been playing with since da2 of making too many promises and not delivering. there were fucking petitions everywhere. im pretty sure they got taken to court even over the endings. and hell yeah people referenced the shitty red/blue/green endings in other games because it was the joke of the year for everyone. you literally reduced this series to a colour choice, and tried to be all “oohhh red is bad” at people like you hadnt just explained destroy was probably the best ending without violating bodily autonomy or turning into an intergalactic monster like. okey. did you read your own script (haha no no one read it apart from casey hudson and like three other people and the endings were only decided on like. weeks out from official release hahhahahahahah)

but that’s just the endings. all the promises before. all the cut content. and people looooove code diving like always have always will and boy. so much stuff was just forgotten. along with the original script to actually give the reapers some fucking excuse for rolling around every 50,000 yrs for a culling.

but i will say again, people who played at launch and those like. few weeks/months after do remember just like. the shit. how they released that extended ending dlc to placate people because they didnt want to admit they fucked up. like the original ending required an EMS score too high to get in single player alone. you needed to play online. OH but the moment you start online, your EMS will decay. so you either had to hold out till just before you hit earth, or keep on top of it like stop playing single player and play some mp. and THEN in the destroy ending with a high enough EMS shepard takes a breath. implies theyre alive right? nope. writers on twitter saying “it doesnt mean theyre alive” like why would you shoot yourself in the foot like that. and how the citadel dlc was literally just straight up an attempt to smother the remaining fires. it’s just. every fans wants (i mean i’ve come around to liking it but yknow. what the fuck it doesnt make sense). people who played well and truly post release have a different feeling and interpretation and i respect and understand that. and im happy those people can enjoy the game the way it is. like honestly and truthfully. me3 at release and for those following few months was just so clouded in all bullshit and statements and admissions and just. ok quite frankly thessia is a fucking piss poor attempt to try to make shepard sad, the child seen at the beginning is a useless excuse to emphasis shepards idk PTSD? ANYTHING? when the geth dreadnought sequence was RIGHT THERE to have a comment about fucking alchera, and also how shepard rly hasnt thought about body counts left behind especially considering torfan like they just???????? okey. you made your protagonist too op. you dont know how to handle it. this wasnt quite the way to do it.

“artistic integrity” is how they described the shitshow that followed, and i dont think i’m gonna forget that for a long time.

#replies #am i salty? maybe so #like never mind they admitted to just changing so much stuff #like character arcs too #ignoring things #etc etc #like its a mess. it was back then and it still kind of is now.#Anonymous

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ihateitheredude · 4 years

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taking the backstreets chapter 2

pairing: Steve Harrington and Billy Hargrove

Summary: leaving this shithole town will be harder than expected. maybe.

Authors notes: I’m so sorry this took so long but im kinda proud of it so uhh yeah.

As I pull up to the motel I see Steve sitting on the sidewalk puffing a cigarette and leaning against the wall, backpack in his lap. He looks so pretty just sitting there hair disheveled and shirt messily tucked into his tight jeans. It isn't until I'm right in front of the sidewalk that he opens his eyes to look at me . the bambi brown eyes looking into my ocean blues with a look that i could only describe as exhausted determination. The eyes close for only a moment, allowing me to regain my senses from his transfixing stare. He pulls himself off the ground, slings his bag onto his shoulder and stumbles to the passenger side.

Steves halfway in the car when I break the tensed silence with a chuckle “careful pretty boy” his tired eyes snap to me with a simple “lets get this shitshow on the road” behind the fatigue in his eyes lives something else, an excitement of sorts. I have half the mind to ask about before he leans over and lands a sloppy,playful kiss to the side of my mouth. I look at him with a smile. Different from the ones I shoot to Karen wheeler and her gaggle of dissatisfied wives, but one that's genuine and heartfelt. It feels almost strange on my face, I’ve gone years without smiling like that but this boy with bambi eyes and sleepy smiles makes all those memories seem like they’re from another lifetime. If he were to find out I would truly be fucked.

We start our journey to california with a rev of the engine and a middle finger to this shithole town that's fostered fear and prejudice in one too many people. My thoughts are interrupted by Steve's hand finding my own. His long fingers lace with mine and he starts to rub little hearts into the back of my hand with his thumb while humming along to the Fleetwood Mac playing softly from the speakers. “Y'know when I was growing up I always saw myself growing old with a nice girl having two kids and living the exact same boring life as my parents. Little did I know I'd be running off to California to start a new life at the ripe old age of 19 ``I looked at him expecting to see some sort of regret, even a tiny sliver but all i saw was a look of giddiness when i looked deep into his gorgeous brown eyes. “What am I not nice enough for you stevie?” I tease. He smacks my shoulder and leans his head back with a smirk “maybe i didn’t want that nice girl. Maybe I wanted an asshole of a boy to y'know make life interesting.” this puts a smile on my face. “I think I found him” he follows up.

We’re almost in the clear when I see the familiar police cruiser on my tail. Not wanting to start this trip off with a police chase I pull over trying not to freak out. Hopper pulls up behind me, gets out of the truck, and walks over to my window with a questioning look on his face. “Hargrove what are you...Harrington?” he looks at me then at steve then back to me “hopp-” “what the hell is happening here?” That's when he spots the backpacks at our feet, a look of realization crosses his face. “California?” he asks and it takes me a solid minute to figure out what he means “oh yeah california. We’re headed to california.” he looks at us again. “You two are headed to...California...together?” we both nod beforw he takes a step back and laughs saying “damn ok i knew something weird was going on with the both of you but i guess i should have known.” steve pipes up with a soft “please don't tell anyone” hopper shakes his head and tells him he wont before turning to me and telling me that “I will be telling your sister..” before i can protest he finishes with “she deserves to know” and i can't disagree. He finally starts to walk away before stopping one last time, writing a number on a pad, and handing it to me telling us that if we needed anything to not be stupid but to call him. With that he turns and gets back into the cruiser and we’re off into the night.

We’re out of hawkins by about 100 miles when my heartbeat starts to pick up and my breathing gets a little heavier. My telltale signs of a panic attack start to make themselves known not only to me but my boy sitting in the seat next to me. He turns his head to look at me eyes going wide “baby whats wrong” he looks calm but his eyes are frantic. My words stumb le out of my mouth with no grace “what if she tells him. Steve what if he finds out” he looks at me confused “what if who finds out. Billy calm down.” i take a deep breath and tell him “what if max tells niel. What if he comes after us? What if….what if he hurts you?” at this point tears are rolling down my face. Steve looks at me and smiles “baby she won’t tell him. She won’t because believe it or not she loves you and wants you to be happy.” a small smile starts to creep onto my face. “And you know this how bambi?” he sighs and says “because she told me. We’re gonna be ok. We just gotta get out of herte man” he laughs a soft but breathtaking laugh. My worries are put on the backburner when listening to him but theyre still there. They’ll always be there but i can deal with them later right?

#Billy Hargrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove fluff #harringrove #harringrove fic #jim hopper #stranger things

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fdhfjdafdajfa · 6 years

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so the official read i think is that im optimistic about the upcoming election going into 2019 for the following reasons

1. the modi government has had several high-profile absolute clusterfucks which everybody in the entire country has seen. nobody has any excuse not to know what miserable shitshows demonetisation and gst were while the successes the party promised has not materialised

2. this means that the bjp has to rely on an agenda of communal polarisation. BUT:

2a. this is a form of enclosure which competes with the caste system. the dream is that people will choose their religion over their caste for hindu unity, but that's simply not the ground reality

2b. people here really, really believe in secular democracy. they're right to. the history isnt the same as in western countries. it is clear that the implementation of democracy has been a game changer for oppressed groups and nobody is under any illusions about this fact except a bunch of ABVP goons who cant get laid even with the MRAs having won thousands of years ago

3. a credible dalit opposition is beginning to form around the abandonment of identity politics, the resurgence of ambedkar's writings, and the ongoing revival of buddhism

4. the congress is actually adapting to this new terrain counteracting the BJP's strongman politics with the image of an inexperienced rahul willing to learn from others around him, including shashi tharoor who has absolutely captivated indias upper classes and is beginning to win the begrudging respect of, well, me at least. he's a defensible choice. and the casting of rahul as a buffoon is backfiring on BJP because most people are actually not into the hindu hitler pitch -- thanks but no thanks. a less authoritarian leader has an appeal

5. several high profile and well-circulated stories of BJP defectors are making their way around facebook (and, presumably, whatsapp, which is where the real power lies) and this is something not even militant BJP supporters can get their khakis in a twist over

6. this is hard to explain but people just seem more fluent in the issues than they were a year ago. i dont think the people im talking to are very different, i just think everyone is working hard as fuck to educate everyone and im very happy to say that im in there and a part of that process so i can attest that at least when I do it, it's going smoothly. like. remarkably so. we dont have a civil society but we have a common vision of one and to be honest i have no idea how people are doing the things theyre doing. but theyre doing them. and thats apparent to me

when i say im optimistic i speak solely of electoral politics but those are very important. its too early to say what's gonna happen but i think its going to turn out better than people are expecting. this country is still hell on earth for most women but we're. workin on it.

#i invoke hitler not as a tasteless and insensitive comparison but because the fascists here do so routinely #i am not misrepresenting or exaggerating their ideas at all they honest to god want a hindu hitler

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princess-of-embarrassment · 4 years

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Some 3 am realizations about life, relationships and maybe more?? idk whatever have fun.

Ok before i start on this shit I am going to say it is 3 am and i am just dumping some thoughts like i usually do. Sorry for the shit grammar, disorganized thoughts and all that jazz... In a sense i feel like this is a letter to myself and what i have been trying so damn hard to understand so yeah i am talking to myself and to this website. I think. Idk. i will probably delete this in the morning when i am back on bad bitch mode and go back to posting memes pero por ahora vamos a ver como nos va. Mayb ei will leave it up bc i forget or because i dont care who sees it. sorry for the shitshow of a post you are about to read but you probably already kinda know me so yay! I debated posting this shit because the internet is a wildin place but oh well!!1!!11

ok tumblr it is 3 in the morning and i have 100% regressed into being a 15 years old on this damn website shitposting and reblogging some corny ass posts but it feels right, so here i am attempting to process it through the only form i know how to actually know how to cope with things. I mean memes are cool and all but lets be real, they don’t address the problems. this is the one place i can brain dump all of my thoughts and not really care about where they go because they will eventually disappear in the tumblr algorithm.

My old blog was often the only separation I had between my reality and the life i really wished i had, but now I have that life that I always wanted so why the hell am i back at square one? To be fair, the life that i have right now may not be envied by many but its a pretty darn good life to me. Im safe 99.9% of the time. The other .1% is a story for another day. I have been trying to figure out for months as to why i’m back to being so active on here and now that it’s 3:00am I realize it’s because of self isolation (thanks corona!).

Let me start off by saying this; my reality is not something I am going to be able to escape. Ever. It has brought me to where i am today, allowed me to meet some really incredible people and i am so so grateful. I have learned so much in the past few years. i am grateful what happened happened. Wild, i know. I escaped it physically but i cannot escape it mentally, at least for now. School, work, writing, dealing with my freshmen’s problems was what kept my brain occupied and away from having to face the part of my life that I really just want to forget. To be fait my trauma response has taken pretty good care of fucking up my memory and all of those fun things but ironically the things i want to forget about so badly are the things i think about every single day without skipping a beat. brains are weird like that.

I am ok now but sometimes i forget and fall back into my new reality. That is ok. People that know my story ask me why i don’t write about it on a public platform because it’s inspiring?? or hopeful?? or whatever cliche people want to use when addressing a topic that makes them uncomfortable and they want to feel better about the life they live. 21 year old latina girl faces adversity and lives the american dream (barely)..i mean, i did run a whole ass magazine and wrote a piece for graduation including some details of my story but that was like the rated g version with only the little sad parts that people are able to handle without feeling like their comfort zone is being violated. MEdia is a wonderful place isnt it??? so i get where they are coming from, but what they dont understand is that an international platform is not where i can share any of these thoughts... Listen, I know this is cryptic and confusing and you are probably really curious about what the hell happened to me but i don’t feel safe to type it out on international platforms with public access. I don’t know if i ever will... Yeah i can talk to people i trust about it because i am in control of the space and the situation and who is obtaining that information but you never really know with the internet.

maybe in the future i’ll write a book on it. even then i will probably use my alias make it a YA fiction with an added love story that ends in a happy ending. Maybe one day one of the school girl crushes I have will turn into that YA story and i dont have to make any of it up.

If i am honest...this blog is the only safe place i will probably ever have where he wont find me. He can find my school and my address and phone number and work and everything in between because that is just the way things work. Yeah yeah i get it stop posting shit on social media that is how he finds you whatever. What people dont understand is that I cant stop living my life again. I already started so i cant go back to giving him that power. It makes no sense. Also, his family is too confused by all of the ups and downs of the last year that they dont really know where i am going or what i am doing. So anyways, long story short - That’s why i am back on here, because it has become the same written safe haven I had when i was 15 and tried to escape my physical reality. Only difference is that i am trying to manage the mental reality of it all...

I also have so many questions about what to do next. Like i mentioned in another post, i didnt think i would make it to 21 but i did. I didnt think this far ahead so i guess i will just figure it out along the way but hear me out. How do i face a new reality that no one can relate to. At least not the people around me. How do i make friends and know when the “right time” is to tell them hey btw if this happens lmk lol. Even more importantly (because it relates to my future as world famous YA novelist.. lol sure grace...) How do I even date someone??? many questions are tied to that. like... I know theyre going to ask. “what happened?” “who is it?” “how can i help?” “Isnt there something we can do?”. i am more than willing to answer these questions because fuck, if im dating someone i would be curious too.. but do i even answer those questions. How do i know they are ready to handle that kind of information? how can i guarantee theyre not going to leave. How can i know that they arent going to be frightened by what has happened. how do i know they are not going to think differently of me. How do i explain to this person “yeah i have stress nightmares about what happened and when i wake up i think i am back in that situation and not where i live and i have to remind myself i am in a whole different area code but then its fine lol so if we share a bed at any point in time dont be alarmed if i wake up in a panic.” or how do i explain to them when something triggers me and all i can do is freeze because maybe it is him. Maybe he finally found me. but then i am back to reality and move on with my day because that is the only thing left to do. I cant throw myself a shitty pity party thats generic as fuck and i dont have time for it but whatever. moving on. next question. How do i know theyre not gonna walk away because they have the misconception so many people have?? Just because i went through some shit doesnt mean i am unstable or unloveable or whatever bs people think. This isnt going to go away. This shit is a aprt of me but it doesn not define me. it is not who i am.I dont have the option to make it go away but people have the option to pick up their things and go. seems unfair to me sometimes. It seems unfair to generalize people like that. I am always open to a new relationship but people expect me to be sitting at home scared to go out into the world and live my life. I have a life to live and i am so ready to explore it by myself or with someone by my side but quarantine has brought me back on here to deal with the fact that i am back to being stuck inside. Mentally and physically. One sucks less than the other.

I have so many other questions but i am feeling tired again and its almost 4am so maybe i should go to bed. Y’all dont know how happy i am to have this trash site to vent to in the middle of the night. theres some relly judgy people on here but at least i know my feed wont judge me or try to fix what has happened. it will just listen.

Anyways, i doubt anyone will read this because this post got long as fuck but if you did i give you a high five and a virtual hug for getting through the clusterfuck of sentences. Thanks tumblr. If i ever go viral again on this shitshow of a website i may have to bring back my studyblr and go underground lmfao jk maybe. I cant wait to hug my friends and the people i have met that have become a part of my daily routine (yes even during social isolation, get off my ass I am still socially isolating). All i can do for now is wait for someone who cares about me for me and isn’t scared of my past or the pieces of it that linger in my present. I deserve nothing less. if they cant do that they are not worth my time and i hope they drop their keys every single time they go to open their front door. oh... they also better be ready for the hours i spend typing away my thoughts on my computer. Maybe one day they will be allowed to read them too... lol maybe not. whatever who knows. Peace out kiddos stay healthy xoxo.

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lebilliam · 6 years

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111 questions with @imaginationisendless3

001: What is your biggest dream? uhhh. that depends on how you define dream. im gonna go ahead and say that the dream is to be able to wake up and go to the airport and just travel all around and come back home to the same old home at the end of the day

002: What is the bravest thing you've ever done? this q is quite a doozy. i really dont keep track of this kind of stuff

003: Is it hard for you to show your feelings? hell ye

004: What is your dream job? What was your dream job when you were little? when i was little i thought looking at space and being an astronaut would be really cool but now its just being able to travel

005: What is your favorite sound? mechanical keyboard clicking hands down

006: Would you rather be in front of the camera or behind it? wait this q seems familiar but im gonna say in front

007: What do you notice first when you meet a new person? (Both in real and on the internet): what kind of memes they like

008: Is there anybody you *fully* trust?: sure theres a list

009: Do you like / love someone? If yes, who?: there was this cute girl once but i never mustered the courage to really talk to her rip

010: Have you ever received / sent hate? How do you deal with it?: i flame brian and logan all the time but i dont think that constitutes hate mail. tbh i dont recall an instance of being perturbed by excessive hate

011: What are you going to spend money on next?: food in martinique (or maybe some chacos here)

012: What are three things you never leave your house without?: phone, wallet, jacket

013: What is your favorite place?: ive had a lot of favorite places over the last few years but now that im being asked i cant recall any of them. all my favorite places have this one thing that i dont like about them and thats why i have so many

014: Do you sing and/or dance in front of people? nah not earnestly

015: Have you ever cheated on a test?: have YOU? i say i want to cheat on tests all the time bc itd be so easy but im just too lazy to enact a foolproof cheat strategy

016: What is your current desktop background?: last time it was a bunch of functional groups for Ochem, but now its specific reagents and pathways!

017: How would you describe yourself in 3 words? indecisive, unpredictable, decisive (i thnk)

018: What does make you happy?: honestly?? knowing im appreciated

019: What time were you born? uhh i dont know off the top of my head atm but i can check

020: Do you give second chances? Why? why the fuck NOT? well i say that but all the second chances ive given have been disappointments. trying to find someone to surprise me i guess? xd

021: Name your biggest turn ons and turn offs: serious turn offs are lacking empathy for the struggles of others (i say stop being poor ironically, but there are people who really dont get it which is scary to me). turn ons? Jacinda asked me this and my answer still hasnt changed-- the neck. i ALWAYS go for the jugular

022: When was the last time you hugged someone?: hmmmmm probably last month or so?

023: What is your favorite food? GOD dang it i know i say a lot of things are my favorite but now i cant think of anything. something im always down for is KFC though

024: Do you save money or spend it right away? FUCK i try to save it but money just has a way of leaving my hands

025: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what are their meanings? If no, would you get any?: id love to get tattoos. sleeves and all those seem really neat but also i know im just rash with decisions like that sometimes

026: Name five things you find beautiful: ooo hair in sunlight, pure moments of unadulterated laughter, crafts that people work on, technology, and mechanical keyboards

027: What is your favorite clothing style? (Both in you and others): lately ive been joking about the CLOUT a lot with champion and supreme branded stuff but its ironic. tbh i like buttonups with nice colors.

028: How do you cheer yourself up? i slid into this girl’s dms with this very question and then i linked her a minecraft song parody so i guess minecraft song parodies and stupid things

029: Do you show affection in public?: i would IF I COULD

030: What is one thing you are looking forward to?: martinique, being refreshed enough to actually care about school bc this last semester was a shitshow

031: Have you ever been to other countries? If yes, where?: france, spain, italy, canada, (japan when i was uber young), vietnam, fircrest

032: What was the last lie you told and why? ill start on this at 2pm. i was still in bed at 2

033: Who are the people you can always turn to? mo, lo

034: Have you ever done drugs? If not, would you ever try them?: it sounds like itd be a cool experience but im also scared all of those horror stories where the drugs were laced with other stuff that turns you into a 4 year old

035: What is your favorite word? i think about the word obsequious a lot but i think my favorite word has to go to discord

036: Do you consider yourself a romantic? sure why not

037: What are 3 objects that are *very* important to you and why?: notes section in my phone ( i write a lot of my thoughts and weird dreams in there), my laptop ( i use it literally every single day), my dice ( bc dnd has been uber helpful to me and its a great pastime)

038: Have you ever met someone famous? If so, who?: nope! not special

039: What would you like to change, mentally and physically, about yourself? id like to start working out but i say that all the time. id like to be more dedicated to school stuff but honestly its whatever. idk jsut trying to be more confident in myself and smiling more

040: Have you ever won a contest/competition? What for? i won a smash tournament once and i got fourth or third in another one but that was a long time ago

041: What is one illegal thing you would do if there were no consequences? steal, armed robbery.

042: Who are your favorite fictional characters? borutos dad seems kind of cool, they should make an anime about him or something

043: Do you ever wish you were somebody else? yea i wish i was me but better

044: What is your favorite store to shop at? FUEGO and the runway fashion exchange and idk some other cool store but it doesnt come to mind

045: Do you want to have children one day? How many? How would you name them?: i think about it. having children would be cool but also NOT having kids would be cool

046: How do you cope with stress? How do you vent your anger? i say reee unironically but then it makes me feel better

047: What do you want for your birthday? honestly? lots of money but idk a new set of dice would be nice ore maybe a new computer

048: Have you ever had an imaginary friend? yea probably

049: Have you ever said "I love you" even though you didn't mean it? in the times ive said it i feel like i have meant it but you can never be too sure

050: What is the best advice anyone has ever given you? starting to write down all your feelings and stuff that happens

051: Do you have any regrets? If yes, what do you regret the most? not taking the opportunity to go to high school/ college early / skipping grades / trying harder on admissions tests

052: Do you find tattoos and/or piercings attractive? theyre pretty neat imo i like them

053: Do you want to get married? What are your views on marriage? marriage is such an old concept but also it seems kind of cool

054: Who are you most comfortable around? tbh its been myself for the last few weeks

055: What are you wearing right now? What do you wear to bed? i am wearing shorts. i try not to wear too much when i sleep bc i overheat but if i have someone else in bed with me ill wear a thin shirt and shorts

056: When is your birthday? feb 26!

057: What is love to you? love is being able to send memes to each other and being able to go from 2 blobs watching videos to a fancy date and

058: Are you a jealous person? i can be jealous if i dont trust whatever is happening

059: Would you rather go to a party or stay at home? hmm tbh id probably party if my friends were there or if not id stay at home

060: How many relationships have you had? quite a few

061: Are you a positive person? sure, i guess ;)

062: What kind of people do you feel attracted to? smart people who are smart but also dumb and cute

063: What is the longest time you've stayed awake? oooowee i think 21 hours or so?

064: Have you ever been told "I don't want to lose you"? yep! proceeded to then lose me!

065: What is your favorite genre when it comes to movies? action comedy

066: Do you collect anything? memories and dust and trinkets

067: In your opinion, what is your best quality? i can make you laugh

068: Have you ever changed for someone?yep! it happens and its sad but it happens

069: What is your idea of a perfect date? a date is the entire day, starting out with waking up next to the person, eating breakfast together, maybe do some errands / work out, netflix and chill, chill, go out for a nice dinner and night out, come back, netflix and chill, chill, go to bed.

070: Are you shy or outgoing? i would love to say im outgoing but idk!

071: In your opinion, what is the secret for a great relationship? surprises everywhere

072: Are you the kind of person who breaks rules? hm im sure i did at some point. maybe i still do?

073: Is it hard for you to trust people? yea it can get a lil hard

074: What does your dream house look like? fat front yard, lots of plants, lots of green grass

075: Do you feel attracted to people your age, younger or older? hmm im at the ripe age of 19 where options younger than me are a lil sketch. idk according to the historia older people have been quality

076: How much have you changed over the past year? a LOT boii

077: Longest friendship you've ever had? hmm about 6 or 7 or 8 years

078: Do you have pets? If not, what animal would you like to have? no pets, id love dogs

079: Are you left or right handed? ambidextrous

080: What talent do you wish you’d been born with? perfect pitch would help a lot with what i like to do

081: Where do you get motivation and inspiration? minecraft parody songs, also seeing professionals doing what they do

082: Do you know how to swim? If yes, when did you learn? yea, i learned when i was in bellingham and then i learned more when i was in kent

083: You are given one wish: What do you wish for? i wish for 100 million dollars with no inflation, no taxes, no debts, no one filing a lawsuit or slandering my name (this is all a part of getting the 100 mil. ive thought about getting money a lot)

084: Do you like to give / receive flowers? What is your favorite flower? i like giving flowers bc i feel like if i receive them, i dont know what to do. its now ur problem if i get you flowers

085: Would you rather travel to a cold forest or a warm beach? warm beach if its not in the early morning when the sun rises, otherwise, forest

086: What is one thing you can't forgive, that can destroy a friendship or relationship beyond repair? if u kill me i dont think i could get over that

087: What is the last thing you purchased? corsair mouse

088: Have you ever broken someone's heart? Ever gotten your heart broken? yep and yep

089: Have you ever cheated on someone? Ever been cheated on? no and yes

090: Do you believe in soulmates? uhhh its possible. theres 8 billion people on this planet, what are the odds that soulmates DOnt exist

091: Is there anybody you would do absolutely *anything* for? If yes, who? hmmmm not anything, but id do a fair bit for my friends

092: Share three facts about your life.: i like to eat, make friends, and travel/experience other cultures

093: Do you believe in love at first sight? i do, but most of the time it isnt reciprocated ;p

094: Would you date someone who smokes / drinks / does drugs / has a mental illness? yea, i dont see why that would stop me from dating them

095: You are given 15 minutes of fame: What would you do? ask for money

096: How is your dream partner like? shes funny, makes me laugh, smells good, etc

097: Would you rather commit to one person or have several relationships? id rather have several relationships so i know exactly what im looking for in a person.

098: What are some of your hobbies? league, hearthstone, watching people play league and hearthstone, french, etc

099: What kind of person do you want to be? i want to be the cool old person when im old

100: What did you have for breakfast? i had some vietnamese cuisine

101: What is your Top 3 favorite shows? What was your Top 3 favorite shows when you were a kid? the office is something i enjoy, mythbusters, uh scooby doo? idk

102: What are three places you *really* would like to visit one day? hmmm maybe the trevi fountain, il duomo, totally la sagrada familia

103: What was your last meal? What was your last beverage? breakfast, water

104: Who is the last person you had a deep conversation with? hmm probably anastasia

105: What is one thing that made you smile today? thinking about martinique

106: Do you like taking photos? If yes, what do you photograph the most?i love taking photos, but i never have subjects so i dont really take photos too often

107: Has anyone ever written a poem or a song dedicated to you? Have you? FHCk man i wish. wait there was a 100 things i like about you and i think about it all the time. i actually have written poems and stuff but tis been a long time and i dont think my creative juices are back from that yet (but trust me, it was straight fire)

108: Do you remember your dreams? If yes, what was the last dream you remember about?: i remember almost all of my dreams because i always tell someone about them and idk talking helps me remember things

109: If you could go back in the past, would you change anything? If yes, what? i would start learning things so much earlier and stick with theme

110: If you were given 3 million dollars, what would you do with them? invest 2 mill in the bank, get that monthly interest coming back in the mail, use that mill to pay off all my and my friends debts, live life the way i wished i could when i was little

111: What are a few facts about you that not many people know of? i like learning languages but its not profitable in this day and age i feel

'111 Questions': by Ira V. Simon (priveting)

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zenyattasperceptrons · 7 years

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no but really AND THEN

so fans know a little bit abt Jack’s private life but generally he’s kind of too boring for most people to care abt but he hits it off with Gabe and the whole realizing they’re ARCH NEMESIS!!! reveal happens and they’re just like “ok it’s not actually a big deal” just kind of a shock at first and they go back to what they’re doing and it’s kinda fun having a double life yknow, they can make fun of each other in character and it’s cute and they talk about bikes after hours etc. and jesse finally gets to nerd out with someone about how cool his dad is and have that person completely agree (gabe is embarrassed by this but he loves them both so much)

but then one day they get to that terrible place of fame and get Paparazzi’d so a picture of jack and gabe being unmistakably couple-y together gets put all over the Internet and everyone connects Jack to his work persona yknow but no one recognizes gabe in the photo so yknow... all the headlines are like DOES 76 IS GAY? SPOTTED WITH MYSTERY MAN!! and this story takes place in twenty shit-teen so it’s Kind Of A Big Deal to a lot of people that this badass macho biker guy has a boyfriend

so it turns into kind of a shitshow. jack closes off his social media accounts and every so often ppl say shit to him in the street. it’s really not great. meanwhile Gabriel “Anonymous Man” Reyes is not affected by this except through Jack but is kind of like. He doesn’t really know what to do? It doesn’t seem like a big help to Come Out because that probably wouldn’t help Jack yknow, they talk about this for a while and Jacks like “listen theres no point putting emotional stress on yourself when you have to deal with mine all the time already” but Gabe still isn’t really sure

so he flounders about that for a while but then. BUT THEN. it comes to work. Jack stops getting shows. starts getting shuffled off to the side. they don’t exactly get rid of him because they dont want to take that strong a stance but there’s a Noticeable Effect and Gabe isn’t stupid he realizes what’s going on

and then there is quite literally a Breaking Point, the breaking being Jack’s bones when something goes wrong and he gets injured and put up in a hospital and Gabe isn’t even like, there, because theyre being put on such Different Paths yknow so Gabe’s kind of freaking out and yknow, eventually goes to see him and everything’s gonna be fine it’s cool, Jack’s just gonna be housed up in the hospital for a while

but of course, of fucking course, photos of him visiting end up Places and eventually some poor Biking News(TM) dude interviews The Reaper at completely the wrong time and ends up bringing up one of the photos and being like “so what do you think about this TERRIBLE SCANDAL?” and gabe just. fucking. loses it. Like he’s not usually a Angry type person but thankfully The Reaper is and he goes off on this tangent about leaving people’s personal lives the fuck alone and he never saw so-and-so’s girlfriend in the tabloids did he and it shouldnt even be that big a deal shit dude he’s been gay the whole time how has anything changed now that you KNOW that he’s still the same guy that used to have so many fans and now everything’s shit and yknow what you dont even KNOW what this guy has been through he’s one of the bravest and talented people I know and yknow what FUCK. THIS. ACTUALLY. I’m tired of this goddamn mystery man shit I KNOW EXACTLY WHO THAT GUY IS. YOU KNOW WHY??

and he fucking takes his helmet off and throws it on the ground like BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING ME!!!! YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS!!!

and everyone fucking Freezes and he takes the mic and looks straight into the camera and is like “im gonna go visit my BOYFRIEND in the HOSPITAL. Figure yourselves the fuck out.”

so he does. and texts jesse on the way like “uhh you should probably go stay at anas house for a while” “what why” “cause i think i just started a shitstorm and i dont want you to be a part of it” “lol get em dad”

& he does go to the hospital and he lays his head on jack’s bed and jack’s like “that was the stupidest fucking thing” but he looks up and Jack’s smiling at him and gabe is like “this is probably a bad time to tell you i’m in love with you” and jacks just like

Yeah, I Kinda Figured.

#hiddenlayer.txt #OK ILL ACTUALLY DO WORK NOW #caps --#excuse my complete void of knowledge about this industry(?) im crossing my fingers in that none of you know anything about it either #the penultimate scene of a fic i will never write

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ambivalent-cosmos · 7 years

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AU proposition: Vader joins Ahsoka on Malachor

I've always been taken by something our good Saint Fialleril said, that on Malachor, the conflict Filoni gave us was Mustafar 2.0, when it should have been Bespin 0.5. I'm paraphrasing. Anyway, just imagine. It's Vader who isn't quite resigned to his fate. It's Vader who might still think that he's doing all this for the Greater Good. It's Vader who's realizing (or realized) that Palpatine is never going to make them equals, and that he's forever going to be the go-for for an old man. It's Vader who is confronted with Maul, who is the living embodiment of how Palpatine throws his Padawans away. It's Vader who sees Ahsoka--his sister/daughter figure--who did what he should have and left the Order. The only family in the Galaxy he has left. The only other person he's willing to kill and die for. The only person who is a true grey Jedi, who uses the core of the Jedi teaching and who shed the chaffing chaf of emotional restrictions. Who has learned how to love healthily (idk I enjoyed the Ahsoka book). The only person who still sees good in him--in Anakin. I think it would take some convincing, but I think Ahsoka would take the time to do it. I think she would stand with him on top of the Sith temple and say "please come with me. We can figure it out. Please." And Vader would go with her, because Anakin is still a softie who really fucking needs a hug and real medical attention. So there they all are, a la @darthnickels Black Mirror, if a little less terrifying and a little more awkward, and Vader says to Ezra "Give me that Holocron" and Ezra's like "what the fuck ever man, it's yours I can't fuckin use it" and hands it over because it's in Sith and no one speaks that. It takes him a long time because holocrons aren't small but for once Darth Hideous isn't around to show him what excerpts to read and he's in charge of his own education. So he has time to gather some of his possessions and get some initial reconstructive surgeries (Ahsoka sits through them with him. He doesn't like anasthetic.). And he listens to the holocron. And a la @flaminganakin, he learns what Palpatine did to keep him alive on Mustafar. About what he did to Padme. And of course he fucking flips because having someone kill your wife to save your self-loathing ass is never fun. So that happens, and then he's like "Dude I need some spiritual healing from the Grandmothers" (because Fialleril's head cannons are basically the fanon bible at this point) so he goes to Tatooine, and he's wandering around, caught up in memories and shit, and literally bumps into this scrawny blond kid who's carrying too many mech parts, and theyre talking and the kid is all "Hiya my name is Luke Skywalker" and Anakin’s heart skips a beat but he's like nah, it's just a coincidence and then hey his uncle is here too and what do you know it's Owen Lars. Awkward... But Beru is there too on this family fucking outing to the city, and she insists on inviting him to their home because last time they met it was a fucking shitshow. And then... well, "I'm Anakin Skywalker. I believe I may be your father." So then Anakin goes on a trek to find Obi-Wan, hiding in the sand wastes like a God damn gopher. Anakin can't punch him because his fists are deadly weapons so he headbutts him into submission. AND THEN Turns out the best custom prosthetic maker lives in Alderaan. And Bail has a fucking heart attack when Obi-Wan shows up and is all... hi could we talk for a bit?? And they decide to try to hide the whole thing from Leia but she's an established spy by now (I guess??? Filoni I'm going to ignore you unless you are convenient for plot purposes I guess??)) And she figures it out/overhears, so she's pissed and finds Anakin and is all, "Hello. My name is Leia Organa. I am your daughter" and Anakin just fucking passes out because!!!!! Two???!!!! This just bypasses so many things. Destruction of Alderaan. Vader failing to connect with his children because he's too caught up with hating himself for killing their mother. Still has the worst case of Survivors guilt on the face of the Galaxy. Still is a medical nightmare that is sewn back into human functionality via dozens of surgeries. Still doesn't really feel guilty for destroying the Order. (Because, let's face it, they were gonna fall whether he helped or not.) I just like it.

#au #the bat speaks #longpost

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isaacathom · 4 years

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decided that Duncan Brennan, Lavina’s husband (Lavina being Alexis’ ex wife), is actually Ryan Lane’s brother in law. Because his younger sister Jean married Ryan. Jean’s how he even met Lavina, coming to UWG for the wedding and meeting her there.

also that the Brennan family are a big deal, prior to ever coming to UWG. Moneyed and influential bunch in the big city. This ties into the murder that starts the story of DODAN, since half the point is that the group behind it want to frame on Christopher Brennan, Duncan’s stepson. and its more complicated than just ‘fuck the Brennans, bring em down, make way for market dominance by us boys’ because Christopher has fucked up a Lot on his life, and it is partly a revenge specifically on him. but the fact he’s a Brennan helps. two birds, one stone. lock Christopher up for murder, bring down the good Brennan name, because sure he’s only a stepson, but he’s still part of the family. It’ll be grand. Brennan dominance slips with a little well placed coverage of the murder investigation and the trial that will surely find him guilty, and this other group seizes the chance, like hey look, OUR business doesnt have a murderer associated with it! dont look back there fuck you

yknow, like you do.

Jean and Duncan are mostly unrelated to this whole situation. mostly. like, the stink is gonna fuck them both over because they Live in the town and Are Brennans, especially Duncan as Christophers stepfather and ‘dude who also failed’ (why is everyone failing my boy christopher). Jean’s potentially gonna be in it because of her police connection, being as she is a) an attorney/lawyer/smth legal and b) married to the UWG chief of police. it bodes poorly, on the whole, if youre in a position of that kinda power and then it turns out your nephew, who you see often, is a fuck. and ryan’s gonna get tarred in the same brush because thats his step nephew too. and hes chief of police. in charge of the investigation. which is intended to find him guilty. this whole thing would basically fuck over the extended Brennan family. because Ryan arresting and charging Christopher would be analysed, of course it would! and the conflict of interest angle comes up extensively in the actual investigation, as literally everyone involved is connected to the prime suspect. its wild. its deeply suspicious. Alexis and Johnathan insist Christopher is innocent and while Ryan trusts that Alexis is not like, lying per se (cant say the same for John, who is Chris’ older brother so Oh No), by the end he is convinced that Alexis is trying desperately to find exoneration evidence for Christopher where none exist. and Ryan gets it. its his step nephew too. But he’s the one who finally puts his foot down and goes ‘fucking put out a warrant for Christophers arrest, just fucking get it over with’. Ryan gives up. and it does turn out that there is exonerating evidence and further damning evidence that someone else did it. but man. fuck of a shitshow the whole thing was.

p much the only reason Ryan gives Alexis as much time as he does is because their reputation post-UWG (really post name change, as the whole thing goes) is VERY good. theyre a good detective. maybe being slow to commit to the obvious suspect is part of why Alexis has such a good record. the fact its their son is :| but maybe its not that! until ryan decides it is that. and to be fair to ryan, that was a part of it. it was complicated!

also like the idea of the Broader Brennan Family (the city ones) trying to bury the story somehow. cause theres absolutely someone in that town reporting on the ongoing investigation, and who has absolutely mentioned the existence of Christopher Brennan in connection to the case, and the city Brennans are Fucking Peeved. which would hurt their rep even more if it got out. its a whole fucking thing. the brennans are quick to claim they dont want to impede justice! they just dont think everyone needs to know. the relatives of the deceased(s? more than one? unclear! at least one!) would probably beg to differ, but eh. the story would without a doubt fucking Explode if the fact the semi-famous Alexis Norton is Christopher’s parent got out. god. But when asked by reporters for ~insight~ Alexis is more the sort to go ‘its classified’ and ‘disclosing information could jeopardise the investigation’ sort, so their relation actually never comes up. Alexis feels like the sort who would just decline comment flat like ‘detective! a word please’ ‘no’ ‘what?’ ‘no. there’s your word’ and walk off.

#story blogging #this has been up for hours but i petered out lol

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skulljoon-blog · 5 years

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diary 2

lmao hey. its me again. missed me ??? woohoo. Im feeling a little better since my last entry. but obviously because alot has changed. i still dont have a therapist, my life is still shit, but hey- i have a boyfreind now right? that makes evreything go away. really? well in my mind it does. because im so fucked in the head that ive been taught through many many years of trauma that when im around people i have to put on my happy face!! so as long as im around people i guess im happy, weather i really am or not. i mean i have been happier lately, my boyfreinds pretty great. just kinda fucking sucks that evrey love song makes me fucking sob thanks to my ex. god that was stalkholm syndrome written all over it. i felt like he was my knight in fucking shining armor. that the one person in my life that fucking loved me was the person that was going to save me from this shitshow i call my life so i let him over run it depression and suicide, making evrey day a struggle and shoved all his problems on me to solve and once i beg for some kind of relif he tells me that its too much for him. god last time i talked to him i sobbed and he told me to pray to fucking god. but hes behind me now. hey- i got someone better right? ive learned from my mistakes and i understand how relationships work now. god i hope i dont break him. hes a great dude, really. i just really fucking hope that i dont break this boy. i know im bad for him but god i love him so much. but enough about my stupid love life. hey! im fucking moving. away from evreyone. i might not even get into a school that has 20 fucking kids from my old school going to it. what luck huh? its driving my family into a shit hole financially and emotionally. my moms in this by herself, since my dad finds it more important to harrass her and I drunk as shit from the comforts of his discusting bed that he never leaves whilst watching D&D. he lives such a sad life but god does he deserve it. last time i really talked to him was on my way up to camp. he had called my mom 6 diffrent times in a row and i had to call him to let him know that she was fucking driving. turned out he wanted a blowjob and had forgotten that i was leaving for a week. even better that he was drunk off his mind. even thought I was my mom for a moment haha, that wasent fun. anyways, my ED is back yahoo. at least i think it is. what do you call eating 3 peices of candy for each meal and then suddenly when evreyone in your house is asleep you have 4 servings of whatever the fuck is in the fridge with a side of chips and some soda? god i hate myself so much. i hate my body and i hate evreything about me. i dont know how anyone could ever love me but ig im okay because the only person that does love me at the moment seems to be pretty fucking sane minded. hes the only thing good about my life right now. but im not gonna tell him that. because i remember from my past that telling your partner that theyre the only thing keeping you from cutting up your thighs and arms and downing a bottle of pills after a rough night isnt really the best way to keep a relationship going. now im sure i wouldent kill myself without him, but hes a damn good reason on why to keep this shitty life up. and finally- im off drugs. at least for now. i dont wanna tell my boyfreind how badly i wanted a fix of some weed because im telling him im off it for good. but if i ever do smoke again im not telling him. itd hurt him. all he wants for me is to be okay so sometimes i fib a bit to keep him happy. well, thats about all for this shitty life update. toodles.

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hachi-ko86 · 6 years

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i want you to remember this one...

okay, if theres anyhthing ive learned in the past two days of being at home alone... its that this isn’t home. this is a house with people i love. it’s scary. i’ve always known it and ive told you about it a couple times... hell i even wrote a story about it last year... its that feeling i get with my family. that horrible fucking feeling of not being in on an inside joke, or being late to a party only to see everyones already started having fun without you... i can tell you the first day this shitshow started and when i finally realized i could never have anything to myself...

okay, the first time it happened was when i was little, this isnt so much a long story as it is shitty. i was little and my uncle joey always hung around. he was my dads best friend, my moms brother... but he never really came around to me. daisha was his little princess and he was uncle joe, jeremy loved cars too and he was like jeremys personal father he never had to share... but me. i was always just tagging alone. jeremy wanted to sleepover uncle joes house? jayden had to come with. jeremy wants to go look at cars? jaydens gotta go too... but the one moment i vividly remember is when one day uncle joey brought his new racecar out, we were sitting outside his house, and there was only one passenger seat. he told jeremy to get in and buckle up and i remember so vividly standing outside that car door and asking where do i sit? and him smiling that fucking stupid crooked smile and saying well be right back buddy theres only one seat and i dont want you getting hurt... maybe he did really care. all i know was that i could see his bullshit. he left with jeremy and didnt come back until the sunset. his girlfriend came out and asked why i was sitting outside... i said waiting for uncle joe to get back for my turn in the car... that was the first time it hit me he wasnt coming back and it truly made it worse when he did and said sorry jay ill take you out some other time... that other time never fucking happened and that dick hole moved to california.

the next time is a doozy. youll love this one. okay theres been a few of these so dont worry theyll all pop out eventually. but my tenth birthday. you wanna know what started the shitshow? it was my tenth birthday. my mom agreed to babysit some of my dads coworkers kids... little did i know it was on my fucking birthday. the day consisted of me waking up, putting on my favorite shirt and getting ready to go to the aquarium like my mom had promised... turns out she was waiting for the kids to come... so i said okk ill wait patiently and well go later. we have to go its my birthday... so then they came and my mom thought lets go to the park. but the little boy that came was a dick. my mom loved him she watched him play and run around telling him to go down the slide while her own son sat around doing jack shit because there was no one to play with... then as if i didnt feel shitty enough for that birthday my parents got me an ipad... it was the first thing i had that daisha and jeremy didnt... i was stoked. but then as soon as we got home i sat down and pulled it out... that little fucker came from behind and took it... as i tried to take it back he cried and my mom told me to stop being selfish and share... so i thought fuck it. i can play the drums for a bit. she wants to watch these kids fuck her im gonna go hit something... funny thing is she walked in with the kids a few minutes later after i started.. the little shit from before kept breathing on my back so my mom said jayden let him try... so i did. i sat on the ground next to him as he played for 30 minutes straight. i cried. my mom yelled at me to stop being a little baby and stop being so selfish... she clapped for him every five minutes when he played... she didnt even come to watch me play at my tutor or when i practiced... she doesnt know this but shes the reason i quit drumming... i loved it i really did but she put so much pressure on a ten year old who had anxiety... she really was a dick about it.

and now the big finale.

if ive learned anything in the past two days. its that i dont get shit when it comes to life. its fucked up but true. daisha? clear skin, moms project daddys princess, perfect gymnast with insane talent, four point o student, my parents proudest fuck up. and then jeremy my moms little sunshine, my dads little apprentice, my grandpas project, who was never smart but was always happy and made friends... it sucks. it sucks seeing how my dad had to care for jeremy to calm down or my mom to always give everything for a daughter who couldnt give a fuck or a dad who always shits on me for not being good enough but praises the fuckers who dont do shit. i was never the smartest, or the most talented, hell i fucking sucked at gymnastics honestly i still do and ive pretty much given up... ive never been strong enough or smart enough or had clear skin or the right personality to be friends... but there was one thing i had that jeremy and daisha didnt and that was you... my parents always get on me for how my rooms a mess, or how jeremy does so much, or daisha works so hard... but its funny... for the past two days guess who the only one whos cleaned up around the house, washed the dishes, took out the trash, played with the dogs, cleaned and cooked for everyone let them use my car.... it was me. you think im being crazy when i say i clean the table after dinner? no. i stand up after i finish eating, i take everyones plates, i put all the food and shit away. i wash the dishes and take the trash and recyclables out. i make sure the tables clean... all while daisha sits playing with ness jeremy makes fun of megan and my parents smile at their children. it sucks because i feel it a lot... like im looking at my family through a fishbowl... theyre so happy and put together and im just that kid that always follows behind. daisha always gets what benefits her and what she wants. jeremy can do whatever he wants and gets anything by being a little angel... but hell i cant get anything... honestly most of the clothes i have jeremys taken, my car everyone takes when they want, jeremy uses my couch more than i do... i do all the chores and no one realizes it... its funny when school started and i couldnt do the chores for 2 days my dad sent jeremy and i a long ass text saying how we dont help around the house... for two months straight he and my mom didnt fold clothes or put dishes away or even think to say thank you...

so heres the part where you come in.

youre mine. im not home. im in a house with my family and thats it. i was never home with them. i was always just a ghost who didnt really have a place. kind of like a puzzle with a random piece from some other puzzle... i didnt really belong... (sidenote theres a tear coming down my face right now but you wont see it) i guess the reason i hate the distance is the fact that its not fair. how jeremy still gets the girl he wants, daisha moves out and mom and dad dont give two shits... but i still cant be near the woman i love... i cant be there without driving an hour, or making things hard... i cant fucking see you...

when i say youre my home... sydney youre the first home ive ever known. no ones loved me enough to ask if ive eaten, or if im taking care of myself, hell if i told any one of my family members im sad theyll make it a lecture or make it about them... youre more of a family than ive ever had in my whole life. thats why i wanted to post this here. instead of texting you and it being lost in our messages i want you to see this whenever you forget or i forget... i want you to remember these next two sentences.. that when i say youre my home, im not being some cheesy dumb romantic with a thirst for love. im saying youre the first person ive met whos made me feel safe and secure and warm and loved... youre more of a family than ive ever known... and i know this is fucked up to say but i know i love them all like family members do... but thats not what i feel with you... with you its this whole other feeling of love... the kind you only find in a soulmate... youre asking if im alive so i guess thats where this ends... im gonna go eat some cake cause everyone else is off living their lives... i love you to the moon and back and forever and always...

<3 jayden

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