#thinspo is making me hate my thighs so much lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunwhores · 2 years

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day 1: your stats

hw: 136.6, lw: 114.4, sw: 128

cw: idk but probably like 130. its been a bad week

ugw: 88

day 2: how tall are you, do you like your height?

i'm either 5'0 or 5'1, i think closer to 5'1, and yes and no. i like that i take up less room, but i wear platforms that make me about 5'4 almost all the time bc i hate how EVERYBODY towers over me

day 3: a picture of your thinspiration. what features do you like about this person?

i absolutely hate saying this but i honestly think my biggest thinspo is choi chanhee from the boyz. i'm a big kpop fan, and tbz is my ult ult ult group, and i literally can't watch any of their videos without watching chanhee both out of immense worry and immense jealousy. he's like 112lbs and 5'10. bmi SIXTEEN. 16!! he's just so Tiny and Delicate and i want to be that. look at his jawline. and the way his chest bones are just slightly visible. and his legs are really thin but not like skeleton-y. i want that

day 4: your biggest fears about weight loss?

my biggest fear is definitely that if i ever get out of this restrict for a week, eat normally for a few weeks cycle and fully relapse and it doesn't go away and i actually lose more than 5lbs, i'll get underweight and to whatever weight i rly want to be and it won't be enough. i know myself and i know i'm going to get addicted to it and i won't be able to stop, and that scares me

day 5: why do you really want to lose weight? are you doing it for you?

probably not lmao. i'm doing it mostly bc i hate myself a LOT and i want to give everybody that fucked up my life as a young teen a big ole F U C K YOU (ahah, d. thanks for the ed in the first place. and teaching me cutting is an ok coping mechanism. thanks. 6 years later and here the fuck i am.) i really have always had an issue w my body even tho ive always been just on the upper side of healthy bmi wise, i've never been overweight? i just don't like how my stomach sticks out and how big my thighs are and how fat my jawline is and it eats at me all the time every day so maybe i kind of am doing it for myself but also FUCK YOU D

day 6: do you binge? if so, explain why you think you do.

i used to binge, in the first few years of my ed, like 2015-2018. then i fasted for 3 days once in the summer of 2018 and it was like a magical switch and i havent actually BINGED since then. i have days i eat a normal amount compulsively, like 1500-2500cals, but that's not technically binging and i always stop before i'm painfully full, so no, i wouldn't say that i binge bc i know a lot of people have it way worse

day 7: do your parents know you're trying to lose weight? do they care?

i am 20 years old, currently estranged from my father. don't live with my mom but i'm moving back in with here in a little under a month. i don't know if she even knows i have an issue w my weight. like i said, i've always been relatively small so nobody rly expects it. i think she would care if she knew bc i rly dont need to lose weight health wise

day 8: your workout routine?

10 mins elliptical, 10 mins cycling, and on days i have energy i do weights for 10-20 mins too but it's usually just the 20 of cardio. and i try to go 4-6 days a week

day 9: did ppl ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

i had some dude once have a joke backfire on him so yeah. dude 1 had said "i could pick them up like that but they'd elbow me in the face" and dude 2 went "i'd need a truck to pick them up." idk how the fuck he thought that wasnt gna be offensive but needless to say it upset me so much that i left that job the next day. same dude once walked into the freezer to me sitting on the floor eating a piece of watermelon. now keep in mind, this was mid july, i work at a pizza hut, the kitchen is about 85 degrees on a good day and that tiny slice of watermelon was the FIRST thing i'd eaten that day. he goes "yknow stress eating isn't a good habit to get into." i, in a grand fit of rage, threw that good ass juicy watermelon right in the trash can. other than that it was mainly my grandma commenting on how much i eat. and a different category of bigger ppl comparing their bodies to mine saying they wish they were as small as me. that has always triggered the fuck out of me.

day 10: what was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?

i'm not in deep enough yet to rly have lost anything massive, but idk. i have a buzzcut so i'm not worried abt my hair. i'm already anemic and probably malnourished so i'm not worried abt my health bc i don't give a fuck. honestly probably the hardest thing is gna be whenever i move and m finds out i'm losing weight bc it's gna affect our relationship. and we have mutual friends in arkansas that will narc me out to him so i'm fucked

day 11: your fav thinspo blog and why

don't have one, just got the courage to start following ppl

day 12: what do you normally eat?

i don't have a consistent diet. whatever i want as long as it's under 1k cals tbh i don't really focus on nutrition as much as i should

day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

as of right now? somewhere in between but getting more unhealthy by the day

day 14: what is your ugw? when do you expect to reach it?

currently my ugw is 88lbs. should reach it by may first.

day 15: are you a vegan or vegetarian? if so, has this helped you lose weight? if not, would you ever consider being vegetarian or vegan?

as i mentioned before, already malnourished and anemic. i was vegetarian for 2 years and i felt like DEATH. i miss it but i'm not doing that again i genuinely felt so bad all the time

day 16: when did you first decide to lose weight?

i've wanted to lose weight since i was 10, discovered proana 3 days after i turned 14 and that's when it got bad

day 17: do you have an eating disorder?

diagnosed? no. but i fucking hope so lmao

day 18: what food is your weakness?

the fucking fried apple pies at work. almost 1k calories for them it's bullshit they're so good

day 19: when is the last time you ate fast food?

less than 12 hrs ago! went to mcdonalds at like midnight bc fuck sleep and i wanted nuggets god damn it

day 20: favourite diet

i don't rly follow diets i just kinda go with the flow

day 21: what are your clothing sizes?

in women's pants, i'm a 5. small shirts always fit me but i like my clothes oversized. for like shorts n stuff i usually get smalls or mediums, it depends

day 22: what was your lowest weight? how and why did you gain?

114.4. i gained bc i got off drugs lmao

day 23: did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

literally at the very impressionable age of 14 my emo ass searched "depression" on instagram and proana shit came up. started Everything. so yeah.

day 24: how do you feel abt the term proana/promia?

they're stupid and anyone who is actually PRO needs to rot in hell, but for just tagging it's fine bc i get that ppl need to vent and we want friends

day 25: have you ever purged? if so, describe your first expierience.

i did once and never again. thats triggering as fuck i'm not explaining it

day 26: what excites you the most about reaching your ugw?

uh. i don't know. the idea of hopefuly not hating myself as much mainly

day 27: how do you deal with being around food?

i don't lmao i just dissociate thru it

day 28: do you want a gap between your legs? why?

yes, they look nice and are aesthetically pleasing

day 29: your definition of beauty?

again, choi fucking chanhee.

day 30: 10 facts about you! and now, what are your stats?

i did this all in one sitting, so stats are the same, and fuck the 10 facts i'll do that next time i get bored

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sorrowsz · 3 years

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30 Day Thinspo Challenge

I'm just gonna get this over with in one post lmao

Day 1: Your stats

My cw is 120 lbs which I think is the highest it's ever been? I don't get to weigh myself often lol

Day 2: How tall are you, do you like your height?

I'm like 5'5 or 5'6 so pretty average. I'm ok with it but I kinda wish I was taller lol

Day 3: A picture of your thinspo. What features do you like about this person?

Jack is goals tbh I mean just look at those arms. perfect

Day 4: Your greatest fears about weight loss

I'm kinda worried what happens after I get to my gw, like it's not too far away but I'm not just gonna go back to eating regularly when I get to it? Idk

Day 5: Why do you want to lose weight? Are you doing it for you?

I just want skinny legs tbh. I am doing it for myself, but I'd be lying if I said other people's opinions of me/my looks didn't matter to me. I miss the skinny nicknames lmao

Day 6: Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.

Yep, after I start restricting for too long I'll just devour everything in the refrigerator even if it makes me feel like absolute shit.

Day 7: Do your parents know you're trying to lose weight? Do they care?

Oh hell no. Idk if they would really care, but it's way too embarrassing bc I've been trying to lose weight for years now and I've only gained since then. I'm a failure lmao

Day 8: Your workout routine

I don't really have a routine, I just have a playlist of some different workouts to choose from. I don't even do it that often tbh I'm lazy (gonna start doing it nightly though!)

Day 9: Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

Idk about negative but I've been told my legs are getting big by family. Another family member also told me they were fat lmao

Day 10: What was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?

The ability to eat without counting calories lmao

Day 11: Your fav. thinspo blog and why.

I don't really have one rn. I spend so much time scrolling through this shit but I just kinda move on from one to the other

Day 12: What do you normally eat?

I've been living off instant rice noodles recently. 200 cal for a packet and it's so filling when drowned in water. Add a poached egg and you have some gourmet shit

Day 13: Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

Both ig? I used to do it more healthily but this recent dip back into being obsessed with getting skinny has been the worst so far lmao.

Day 14: What's your UGW? When do you expect to reach it?

Rn it's 96 lbs. I certainly could get there by the end of the year but knowing me I probably won't. A bitch can dream. A bitch can also undo a week's worth of progress in one day.

Day 15: Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you to lose weight? If no, do you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

I tried veganism out a few years ago, but I'd never go back to it. I don't need stress dreams of accidentally eating meat or dairy products and binging. Fuck the cows tbh

Day 16: When did you first decide to lose weight?

I actually don't know. I have memories of trying to stop eating altogether and then binging on uncrustables from when I was younger, but I only really got into calorie counting like 2-3 years ago?

Day 17: Do you have an ED?

Nah but I certainly relate to the ed side of tumblr more than the dieting subreddits I used to subscribe to. Idk at what point you're allowed to say you have an eating disorder but I definitely have some disordered eating going on lol

Day 18: What food is your weakness?

Avocados and oil. Oil scares the living shit out of me, jesus. Why does there have to be so many calories in such a small amount??? And I love avocados but I just can't look at them the same anymore lmao

Day 19: When was the last time you ate fast food?

Idk the last time but my family gets it pretty often. I used to use it as an excuse to binge but once you learn the low cal options it isn't rlly scary anymore

Day 20: Fav. diet

I don't really go by any specific diets, I just try to stay under a specific amount of calories

Day 21: What are your clothing sizes?

Idk at this point. It varies too much depending on the brand so I just try shit on and don't pay attention to the size

Day 22: What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

Maybe like 8 lbs? Idk I don't much remember being a baby tbh

Day 23: Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

Ofc lmao

Day 24: How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia?

I definitely don't like them lmao. I may be a bit hypocritical here as I spend so much time reading that shit, but it's different when it comes to other people ya know. I kinda worry just making posts like this is pro-ana? But like I can't talk to anyone else about it and I kinda need a secret vent acc so idk

Day 25: Have you ever purged? If so, describe your first experience.

I've tried, but I just. can't. I rarely ever vomit and honestly I think I'd rather fast it off than go through that. I wish I could just make myself do it but I keep removing my fingers once I gag

Day 26: What excites you most about reaching your UGW?

There's this cute two piece beach set I've had in my Amazon cart for so long that I'll finally be able to wear without hating myself. Hopefully lmao I may still be fat by then

Day 27: How do you deal with being around food?

I fucking love food. It's so hard for me to turn it down which is why I'm in this mess in the first place

Day 28: Do you want that gap between your legs (thigh gap)? Why?

Uh yeah. Idk why aside from that's what I was taught is attractive lmao. We live in a society tbh

Day 29: Your definition of beauty.

This one is difficult for me to answer. I want to be skinny but I don't think everyone does in order to be considered beautiful. Different people are just beautiful in different ways lol

Day 30: 10 facts about you!

I'm 16, female, my favorite director is either wes anderson or bergman (ik how this sounds lmao), uhh. Idk that's all you get lmao

#30 day thinspo challenge #30 day thinspo #disordered eating tw #thin inspo

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starvetonumb · 4 years

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This looks interesting but 30 days is too long so I'm just gonna do it all right now lmao

1. 58.8 kg, my HW is 60.5 and LW is 48. Currently don't have a GW, surprising ikr.

2. I'm 168 cm and I guess my height is fine.

3. My thinspo is Romee Strijd because she's thin (obviously) but not thin enough to be sick, and you can see her muscles.

4. I'm just afraid of doing permanent damage to my body when it comes to weight loss.

5. I want to lose weight for a lot of different reasons. I once felt light and dainty, I loved that; when I lose weight I lose my feelings and emotions, which I never liked dealing with; sometimes I do it to just occupy my mind with something because life is too much; and it goes on.

6. I have binged several times and they are just caused by restriction.

7. My parents don't know I'm trying to lose weight, or do they? Either way, my mom always compliments my weight loss and buys me new clothes whenever I'm skinnier...

8. Currently I'm doing Stephanie Buttermore's at-home program, so I do strength 3 days a week and cardio 3 other days a week.

9. My parents are the only people that commented on my weight in a negative way, they don't want a fat daughter I guess.

10. I gave up all my relationships and friendships for weight loss, ugh.

11. I don't really have a favorite thinspo blog, I like most of them.

12. Oatmeal for breakfast, simple grains, proteins, and veggies for lunch, fruits for snacks, and my mom makes supper.

13. I'm definitely losing weight in an unhealthy way right now.

14. My UGW was always 50 kg and I once reached it.

15. No, I really want to try to be vegan, to see what it's like more than anything, but my parents are super anti-everything, including diets.

16. I first decided (wanted) to lose weight when I was 14 years old but didn't actually try to until I was 17.

17. I'd really like to think I don't have an ED but let's be honest I'm probably anorexic.

18. All sweet things are my weakness, it's the stuff I binge on after restricting.

19. I can't remember the last time I ate fast food, because I usually get a salad whenever we order from McDonald's and stuff.

20. I don't have a favorite diet, they all suck imo.

21. My clothes are in a bunch of different sizes, literally from 2XS to 2XL, different countries and brands just vary so much.

22. My lowest weight was around 48 kg, I was on my weight to my goal BMI of 16 but since I was dying I tried to recover on my own.

23. Of course, the media showed me the world of weight loss, dieting, and eating disorders, which dragged me down the rabbit hole while I was still deep inside my depression.

24. I don't really feel anything about the terms pro-ana and pro-mia, I mean, I don't like it when people are pro, because it's literally just helping others kill themselves, but that's about it.

25. I have purged a few times, my first experience was very unpleasant and I didn't get much out.

26. Reaching my UGW was always exciting because it meant I could fit into cuter clothes.

27. I'm not sure how I deal with being around food, considering I just stay away from it most of the time.

28. Heck yes I want a thigh gap, I have been wanting a thigh gap for about 13 years now.

29. To be honest, I have no clue how I would define beauty. There's just so much to inner and outer beauty.

30. 10 facts about me, hmm...

30.1. I speak 5 languages.

30.2. I'm the "perfect student" at school.

30.3. I like videogames.

30.4. I kinda hate myself but I actually want a life someday.

30.5. I'm scared of the idea of ever having kids because what if I end up like my parents.

30.6. I'm a minimalist.

30.7. I've always loved learning things.

30.8. I have watched To The Bone countless times.

30.9. I don't have any thinspo pictures on my phone.

30.10. I'm a very dedicated person, to anything and everything I want.

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bitchesbees · 4 years

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Im doing this all rn cause ill forget lmao

Day 1: stats

CW: 115.6 lbs

Day 2: height

Im 5’2 rn and I like my height. I could be shorter tho like 5ft even. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Day 3:

Ah ribbies and small calves

Day 4: greatest fear about weight loss?

Honestly not much lmao. I got a wide ribcage and shoulders tho so theyre rlly gonna stick out.

Day 5: why do you wanna lose weight? Is it for you?

I wanna look like sailor moon bro. Im just here to look like a lil anime girl dats it

Day 6: do you binge?

Obviously bro dats called eating like a normal person LMAO

Day 7: do your parents know you wanna lose weight? How do they feel abt it?

Im a whole ass adult its nonw of their business

Day 8: workout routine?

Sometimes I go outside to walk my cat

Day 9: do people ever make comments abt your weight?

My best friend literally said I was their thinspo so thats great?

Day 10: whats the hardest thing u gave up?

Nothing lmao. I still eat what I want when I want

Day 11: fav thinspo blog?

Mine

Day 12: what do you normally eat?

Breakfast:

one of these: yogurt but I dont like it so I dont have it a lot, toast+sunflower seed butter+honey, black coffee (eww), breakfast fried rice, or nothing

Lunch:

Usually nothing or I might go out with friends n eat with them if they invite me

Dinner:

Last night I had curry and rice :) . Its rlly just whatever I or my partner makes. I jus dont eat too much

Snacks:

Naan, kimchi and rice, avacados, fruit, stuff like that

Day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

I like to think im doing it in a healthy way :^)

Day 14: whats your UGW (ultimate goal weight)?

First UGW: 105lbs

Second: 90lbs

Last: 80 lbs

Day 15: are you vegan/vegitarian? Would you ever be?

FIAJJFJAJF N O. like yeah meat has a lot of calories but I live for salmon and pork its tastey :)!!! (If u are vegan/vegetarian dats great!! You do u <3)

Day 16: when did you first decide to lose weight?

Idk but ive been anorexic since middle school so 7th grade ig

Day 17: do you have an eating disorder?

Got diagnosed with anorexia in 2018 and I had been diagnosed with bulimia in 2015(?) but I dont have bulimia sO

Day 18: what food is your weakness?

Poke bowl, curry, denjang jigae (idk how to spell it in english lmao), canolis, any fish. I like food n stuff I just dont like eating ://

Day 19: when was the last time you ate fast food?

Last weekend with my partner :0 it was mcdonalds and I got nuggets and fries. I didnt finish it tho cause I felt bad :^/

Day 20: favourite diet?

Remember back in like 2016 when everyone was talking abt the alice and wonderland diet? Thats was WILD CISJJFJAJFJ I think that ones really funny and weirdly specific

Day 21: clothing sizes?

s to xs but I like wearing oversized things bc when I run I look funny. Like an oompa loompa

Day 22: what was your lowest weight? How n why did you gain?

I actually hadn’t seen a scale in like six months (bc I wasnt allowed to >:0 ) until last weekend and I was 113 :))!! I know I got p small at other points but I cant remember the number. Ive been binging all week which sucks and I gained 2 lbs but its whatever

Day 23: did media play a role in wanting to lose weight?

Yeah. Remember 2015-16 tumblr? WILD TIMES

Day 24: how do you feel abt the terms pro-ana/pro-mia

Its DUMB FJSJBFJAJF. Like come @ me if u want but its so stupid to be pro [mental disorder]. Like imagine someone saying their pro borderline or pro bipolar. Wack shit n im not here for it. And you can say this whole list is me being “proana” but im not a big fuckin creator. This is not the blueprint LMAO

Day 25: have you ever purged? What was your first experience?

Yeah I was diagnosed with bulimia (not bulimic anymore). First time I ate spaghetti and I has noodles coming out my nose >:00 its was NASTYYYYY

Day 26: what exites you most abt reaching ur UGW

Being able to be thrown across the room easily :> possibly break a bone on the way :> sounds like a fun time deadass :>

Day 27: how do you deal with being around food?

😑 i am helen keller

Day 28: do you want a gap between ur thighs? Why or why not?

Yes and no. Yes because I kinda already have one and I think it looks cute :). No because my phone would fall though my legs into the toilet when im using the bathroom :( also thick thighs are kinda sexy ngl

Day 29: your definition of beauty

Yall ever seen a woman? Gorgeous. Beautiful. Perfect. Believe it or not women is what peak performance looks like

Day 30: 10 facts abt you!!

- my partner has a mullet and I love it :^)

- im going to cosmetology school

- I hate black coffee >:( I keep saying I like it bc its zero calories but its literally worse than spaghetti noodles coming out my nose. N a s t y

- I dont like soda either.

- I have a cat :)

- my favourite season is winter bc I can slide on the ground like a penguin

- I dont talk abt my anorexia a lot to friends n ppl around me cause its such a mood killer :// dats why im sharing it here lmao

- I cant count to ten

#this is not the blueprint #anyway dats it #vent #I guess #30 day thinspo challenge

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fragileproxi · 3 years

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day thirteen | are you losing weight in a healthy way or an unhealthy way? | 8/24/21

hmmm..... mix of both, but probably unhealthy by dietitians standards. it’s better than the way i used to be eating though. apparently i can only toggle back and forth between both extremes. either binging every day and every night, or restricting myself and exercising every night.

either way, i feel fine. i don’t feel especially lethargic or cold, definitely not eating too little to the point where i lose my period, definitely getting as many vitamins and minerals as i can, definitely staying more hydrated than i used to. it’s not ideal, but it’s what works for me. the ‘healthy’ way of losing weight is way too fucking slow for my dumbass impatient ADHD brain. i lose weight quickly to get to my goal weight while also learning and planning as much as i can about how to healthily maintain the goal weight i get to. that’s what works for me. literally fuck anyone who tries to police that for me lmao

food intake log :

homemade meal leftovers : ~400c

1 oreo : 56c

2 wafers : 70c

1 fruit popsicle : 57c

1 turkey patty : ~150c

1 chicken thigh : ~150c

total : ~900c

we went grocery shopping yesterday and i actually did not feel a single urge to buy snacks for myself, even though i saw my partner doing so. most i got was just another pack of fruit pops which are only about 50 cals a piece so, worth it. it will help me with my moderation training.

i am pretty fuckin tired today though. tired as in not really wanting to do much, especially by way of exercise or burning cals... but i need to at least get a 60 min walk in. i’ll take the dog with me, take some music with me, scroll through thinspo if i can. i ate my calories this morning rather than this evening which i usually do, because i needed to get rid of the serving of food my partner left for me last night... and i think i’ve realized my problem here.

they make food. and they make a LOT of it. they make it with the express purpose of feeding more than just two mouths most of the time. by me saying no, i realize that i’m wasting food, and i feel like i’m letting them down. partly because me not eating means the food gets wasted, partly because they went out of their way to cook for me and here i am refusing it. it’s fucking frustrating.

i don’t know what it is about my partner specifically, but whenever he makes food he makes it a point to make a fuckton of it. i would prefer if he just made enough servings for himself. if i wanted some, i would’ve told you. don’t leave a serving for me OVERNIGHT and make it all gross in the morning just because you want to be nice. just eat it yourself, or if i ask you if you can make me a serving as well, then and ONLY then can you increase the amount you cook. but otherwise you’re just going to be wasting food, because i am not going to eat anything when i reach my limit. if that means wasting food, then so be it. just don’t fuckin cook as much.

gah fuck i just calculated how many cals i would burn by walking... only 124 or some shit. too little. i need to bike to the forest i think, while listening to a podcast or something to keep my mind off of my body. i’m getting more and more sensitive to sensory input, including the sensory stuff that comes along with exercise. breathing heavily, sweating, heavy muscles, that kind of shit. i hate it. but i have to do it.

i’ll update when i can.

exercise log :

45 min walk : ~100c burned

net total cals : ~800c

#cdy13

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down-for-now · 5 years

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lol gonna do 1-13 today then the rest on the corresponding days ;p

1. i think i was like 136lb?? i want to be 120 by the end of the month

2. ive always loved goth/alternative/punk fashion but have been too insecure (and fat lmao) to rock it. when i reach my ugw im going to revamp my wardrobe!

3. when i was 13 i started insisting i was huge and had no idea. i was only 130lb, but i started hating my body and told my parents i was going 'vegan' until they realized i just wasnt eating anymore

4. i hate working out so no :') i go on a lot of walks and im a fairly active person in general though

5. being inside and watching a good show/movie, playing a good game or reading a good book, while all snuggled up and warm! especially if its rainy and windy ugh yes

6. on occasion but by my understanding you lose weight more consistently by restricting. however, i always get nauseous/lose appetite when i eat post-fast so its good to avoid overeating (i get so hungry restricting). usually i won't go over 48hr.

7. most raw fruits and veg, rice cakes, sparkling water, sweet potato and cinnamon (sooo good and filling), miso, kimchi, greek yogurt, almond/coconut milk, tea

8. like: hands/wrists, upper chest/shoulders, boobs. dislike: stomach, thighs, upper arms.

9. well in terms of what i like bc of the ed, i love when ppl look soft/thicc but also slim and smol?? i have the soft thicc part down but i look like the pillsbury doughboy ha

10. my current limit has been 800cal but recently ive been more irregular (sometimes fasting or very low like 2-300 when ive been feeling the worst, but like 1200 before busy days like exams or whatever)

11. not as much as i used to bc i used to be a fucking greedy pig, but sometimes yes. i rly enjoy food as an interest so its hard. im also a very pleasure/comfort seeking person so i tend to overindulge.

12. i use thinspo a lot but im not pro so i dont rly want to post any. ig the 'food will always be there' thing keeps me from binging. i also like to be mindful of waste/overconsumption, so i watch mukbangs and stuff to kinda disgust myself and push me to eat more conservatively

13. mostly i just get stoned lol. homework and other responsibilities help a lot too, college makes it easy to stay busy. then the regular stuff like tv and sleep and videogames (this one is the best for me bc it's engaging and i cant think during it. especially if im high while i play lmao)

#ed #eating disorder #ana #anorexia #mia #bulimia #tw #trigger warning

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fahrminbrahmin · 7 years

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ED Questions: nobody asked for this but im bored lmao

1. which eating disorder(s) do you have?

tbh nobody has said a specific name to me drs just say either ‘eating issues’ or ‘eating disorder’ so ednos?

 2. when did you develop your eating disorder?

this is hard to answer bc looking back ive shown signs since ~early teenage years but ive been fully aware of it for about 2-2.5 years

 3. are you currently in recovery?

im in therapy, its bought up every other session but i tend to avoid mentioning it so yes and no

 4. honestly, do you want to recover?

again, yes and no. I often h a t e feeling like this but?? the pros out way the cons at this point

 5. how are you doing today?

unhealthily? great! lol i hit my next gw this week and p much all my cals have been from alcohol lmao healthily? p bad ive only eaten a cruskit and some lettuce & im kinda depressed these past days but hey! idc

 6. 5 safe foods?

lettuce! so much lettuce i can easily go through a head a day. honestly, its the only thing i can eat without feeling any semblance of guilt.

 7. 5 fear foods?

tbqh, its such a long list everything p much. at the height of my fear of food i saw the word protein and freaked the F out so protein

 8. do you count calories?

yeah but im really good at lying to myself about how many calories ive actually eaten lmao

 9. what is your max calorie limit?

i say 550, but anything over 250 makes me feel like utter shit but then again, anything makes me feel shit lol

 10. what is your height?

5′3″ / 161cm

 11. what is your ultimate goal weight?

it was 49.5kg! but i hit that so its 48.7kg atm itll go down again tho

 12. are you trying to lose weight?

absolutely yes

 13. have you ever been called “fat”?

honestly i cant even remember if i have or not

 14. have you ever been called “too thin”?

ive been called ‘small’ but not too thin. the dream tbh

 15. what is your current goal weight?

48.7kgs

 16. what was your highest weight?

when i first started weighing myself regularly, 61kgs

 17. what was your lowest weight?

49.1kgs

 18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight?

im there rn

 19. does your family know about your eating disorder?

yes, i dont talk to a lot of ppl and p much everyone knows

 20. do your friends know about your eating disorder?

yeah, one of my best friends was actually the first person i told

 21. do you wish you didn’t have an eating disorder?

yes and no, i hate feeling like this toward myself and food. but ive always hated myself so this is an improvement so its a really happy side effect

 22. have any “free foods”?

lettuce!! lettuce lettuce lettuce. and tea

 23. how often do you weigh yourself?

every day when i wake up. id say morning but i have a shit sleep schedule lol

 24. thinspo or bonespo?

neither tbh im more of a i-have-an-ed-more-to-harm-myself-less-to-be-thin kinda gal

 25. biggest problem area on your body?

my chubby chubby cheeks. the great irony is that my ed gave me chipmunk cheeks which hasnt helped any but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 26. favourite part of your body?

tbqh i like my waist. its not tiny but its p good imo

 27. what kind of results do you want to see?

booooooones!!

 28. do you purge?

:/ yeah

 29. do you take laxatives?

yes but i have bowel problems anyway so its the constant struggle of do i take the reccomended amount or do i overdose lmao its always overdose

 30. how often do you purge?

it goes in cycles, some weeks i purge every day, other weeks its could be 1-2 times a week.

 31. do you binge?

by definition, no, but often times ill eat and say to myself its a binge

 32. how long have you fasted for?

im SHIT at fasting, probably like 18-19 hours

 33. who’s your biggest thinspiration?

hands around thighs really get me. also protruding rib cages thats the dream.

 34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary?

none! ive only seen maybe half an ed doc i cant get through one. But! I have a book of stories of girls w/ eds and there was one story about a white/polynesian girl with an ed with identity issues and she was l i t e r a l l y me i still have that book

 35. favourite thinspo picture?

again, any pic of fingers touching around thighs. LUV it

 36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body?

ive only posted 2 body checks lol, u can see them here

 37. how does your eating disorder affect your life?

Im literally obsessed with food nd my body ive isolated myself from everyone/thing in my life and everything i do is a number i h8 it

 38. what is your BMI?

currently, 19.1  39. do you follow a diet?

yeah, as little calories as possible lmao

 40. least favourite part about your eating disorder?

most if not all of it? its all i think about

 41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships?

yes? if we group my ed with all my other mental health problems, i isolate myself from everyone i havent seen one of my best friends in over a year so YA

 42. do you have a “guilty pleasure” food? what is it?

c h o c o l a t e. it is very much a guilty pleasure lool

 43. meanspo or sweetspo?

not about the whole concept tbqh

 44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder?

the saddest part, most women i know have expressed r admitted to doing some really shitty stuff to themselves in order to be thin

 45. ever been inpatient?  / 46. ever been outpatient? / 47. ever been in residential care? / 48. ever been in a psych ward?

nah but ive been threatened with it

 49. are you currently in therapy?

yeah, individual therapy and DBT

 50. what did you eat today?

a cruskit, 1 gummy lolly, ~4 leaves of lettuce and 3 glasses of wine lmao

 51. are you scared about the holidays?

yes bc ill make a pavlova and ofc im gonna eat it rip :/

 52. are your family/friends supportive?

kind of, if im in a healthy mind set i know they care but dont really know how to go about it. but they let me do a lot of shitty things to myself

 53. have any other mental illnesses?

’severe social anxiety’, emotional disregulation, depression, maybe avpd and/or bpd?

 54. looking for ana buddies?

nopenopenope ill never encourage this

 55. what is your current weight?

as of this morning: 49.1kgs

#personal #eating disorder #eating disorder questions #ed tw #ana #¯\_(ツ)_/¯#t.txt

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