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littlelovingmouse · 4 years

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thinking about stuff

this article about kenneth branagh’s death on the nile says there will be a flashback about hercule poirot’s heroic and romantic past, set during wwi, with a digitally de-aged branagh as a 22 year old poirot

and i’m not happy about it tbh

tl;dr: does hercule poirot really need to be a badass action hero with a long lost love? (it bothered me in murder on the orient express and it will bother me in death on the nile)

in the books and the david suchet tv show, the only times we see poirot as a younger man are in the mysterious affair at styles, where he meets a younger hastings in 1918, and in the chocolate box, during his time as a police officer, and he's not particularly heroic or romantic in either story iirc

look, i like hercule poirot as a character for many reasons: first, because he’s so unapologetically weird, which i would like to be one day (unapologetic, i mean - i’m plenty weird); because he has no interest in romance (aside from the countess, maybe), which bothers me in other mystery novels; and most importantly, because he’s all brain and no brawn, like me

the only time he does truly take part in the action is in curtains, and he only does so as a last resort, because it goes against everything he stands for and everything he is, but he has no other choice

and though i did like the visuals in branagh's murder on the orient express, and the way they explained poirot's view of the world and his attention to detail, i still thought the story was over dramatized, with the bridge and the chase and the gun (and the woman in the picture? who the fuck is this “catherine”, whose name branagh can’t pronounce properly anyway?)

((btw, it didn't strike me the first time i saw it, but his accent is bad))

and now this???

especially if they're gonna use de-aging cgi, which has always been terrible (see jeff bridges in tron legacy, robert downey jr in civil war, carrie fisher in star wars, michael douglas and michelle pfeiffer in ant-man and the wasp, etc)

couldn't they just hire a young (francophone) actor who looks like a younger branagh instead?

(and you know everyone will speak english with a terrible french accent in the flashback, too)

((also this is stupid but if he was 22 in 1914, then he’s 42 in 1934 in murder on the orient express (and if he was 22 in 1918, then he’s 38 in 1934), and yet (no offense to branagh but) he looks like that???))

i didn’t realize at the time what exactly bothered me about murder on the orient express (even though i saw it three or four times), though i knew it had to do with the pointless action scenes, but as i’m writing this whole thing (and getting really worked up) i realize that, if you take into account that picture of the seemingly long lost love, poirot basically got the ritchie sherlock holmes treatment

(i actually like the first sherlock holmes more than murder on the orient express, because there’s a lot of humour in it, and the epic hans zimmer score)

both sherlock holmes and hercule poirot became a “badass action hero with a dead love interest” in recent cinematic adaptations

both women get fridged in the sequel, too, though in poirot’s case it’s a flashback (which unfortunately doesn’t mean she won’t be fridged on screen)... well, to be fair, i don’t actually know that this “catherine” is dead (assuming it’s her we’ll see in the flashback); for all i know she’s not actually dead, she just decided to marry another man and left poirot heartbroken

but like

why??? why give him a love interest? i can understand to some extent that giving him action scenes can make him more appealing and might attract a wider audience, but what’s the point of these “affairs of the heart”? to make him “normal”? to “humanize” him? why would he need to have a love life for people to like him more as a character?

besides, there already is a tragic romance in death on the nile, poirot doesn’t need to have experienced one himself to understand the other characters, because understanding people is what he does

why can’t hercule poirot just be an eccentric, solitary little belgian man with very strict, particular habits, who only cares about his three friends and his comfort?

...

why am i so mad anyway???

when did i start identifying so strongly with a fictional detective whose creator ended up exasperated with him, just like arthur conan doyle did with sherlock holmes?

in the end none of this matters because we all know i'm gonna be seeing death on the nile multiple times anyway, because it's poirot and it's death on the nile, so i'm just complaining to complain, but my expectations have dropped so low...

some things even a truly epic moustache cannot make up for

#long post #wow i really got carried away #been writing for hours #trying to find the right words #getting all worked up and angry #anyway posts only show up in the first 5 tags so this is fine right?#death on the nile #kenneth branagh #i just wanna be able to find this on my blog later if i need to #let me know if this shows up in your tracked tags and i'll fix it #i don't wanna be a killjoy and put this in people's tracked tags #i know people are getting excited because of the casting and stuff #hate it when others rain on MY parade when i'm excited for things #but this brought up everything i don't like about the first movie #even though i do like the first movie (the visuals the atmosphere and johnny depp getting stabbed multiple times in particular)#plus i finally watched the new trailer last night and got all excited #and now i'm just... kinda disappointed in advance and that sucks

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derangedrhythms · 3 years

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Man, I love this blog...any quotes about wrath and wolves? Please?

Thank you so much. ❤️

That's so lovely to hear, thank you 🖤

On wrath:

"I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other."

— Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, dir. Kenneth Branagh (1994)

"I shall take two huge handfuls of his rustling hair as he lies half dreaming, half waking, and wind them into ropes, very softly, so he will not wake up, and, softly, with hands as gentle as rain, I shall strangle him with them."

— Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; ‘The Erl-King’

"Grown weary of these sacrilegious thrills / The time will come to tear his breast apart; / My dainty, deadly hands with harpy nails / Can claw their way into his beating heart."

— Charles Baudelaire, Complete Poems; ‘Spleen and Ideal’ from 'Benediction’, tr. Walter Martin

"I have a violence in me that is hot as death-blood. I can kill myself or – I know it now – even kill another."

— Sylvia Plath, from 'The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath'

"There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

— Madeline Miller, from 'The Song of Achilles'

"Now I will burn you back, I will burn you through,"

— Charlotte Mew, from 'In Nunhead Cemetery', published in 'The New Faber Book of Love Poems', ed. James Fenton

"You have not known horror until I have shown it to you."

— Penny Dreadful, from ‘Resurrection’

"Out of the ash / I rise with my red hair / And I eat men like air."

— Sylvia Plath, Ariel; from ‘Lady Lazarus’

"Aaaagh! This man I hate! / This man who swore eternity in my arms! / Let me live to see him and his bride as broken bodies in the dust of their palace."

— Euripides, from 'Medea', tr. Nicholas Rudall

"Have a care: I will work at your destruction, nor finish until I desolate your heart, so that you shall curse the hour of your birth."

— Mary Shelley, from 'Frankenstein'

"Give me a drill. I will bore holes in his shoes and spy on him as he walks. Eyes beneath the pavement will be watching him. While he sleeps I will trepan the back of his head and with my fingers pull out his dreams of her."

— Jeanette Winterson, from 'Gut Symmetries'

"Like all good storytellers, Hermes knew to save the best for last. One evening, he told me of a trick Pasiphaë had played upon Minos in the early days of their marriage. Minos used to order any girl he liked to his bedchamber in front of her face. So she cursed him with a spell that turned his seed to snakes and scorpions. Whenever he lay with a woman, they stung her to death from the inside."

— Madeline Miller, from 'Circe'

Also - 'Medusa' and 'Havisham' by Carol Ann Duffy

On wolves:

"There is a vast melancholy in the canticles of the wolves, melancholy as infinite as the forest, endless as these long nights of winter …"

— Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; from ‘The Company of Wolves’

"I met the wolf alone / And was devoured in peace."

— Edna St. Vincent Millay, from 'The True Encounter'

"Fear and flee the wolf; for, worst of all, the wolf may be more than he seems."

— Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; from ‘The Company of Wolves’

"I look up someone grins / you're a bloody feral wolf-face I like you."

— Alice Notley, Disobedience; from 'I suppose this is all a lefthand path'

"We love the wolf. We love the love of the wolf. We love the fear of the wolf. We’re afraid of the wolf: there is love in our fear. Fear is in love with the wolf."

— Hélène Cixous, Stigmata: Escaping Texts; from ‘Love of the Wolf’, tr. Keith Cohen

"They will be like shadows, they will be like wraiths, grey members of a congregation of nightmare; hark! his long, wavering howl…"

— Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; from ‘The Company of Wolves’

"They were waiting in a quiet part of the wood for the hunters to appear, when a single wolf passed by their tree. He was the handsomest of his kind, with fine, dark eyes and a pelt the colour of wet slate. He looked up into the tree and addressed the gentleman in a language that sounded like the chatter of water over stones and the sighing of wind amongst bare branches and the crackle of fire consuming dead leaves."

— Susanna Clarke, from ‘Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell’

"The wolf is carnivore incarnate."

— Angela Carter, The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; ‘The Company of Wolves’

"All stories are about wolves. All worth repeating, that is. Anything else is sentimental drivel."

— Margaret Atwood, from 'The Blind Assassin'

#compilations #cw suicide #wolf #wrath #long post

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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Smokey brand Select: Violent Delights

I was waxing nostalgic the other day about the Nineties version of Romeo and Juliet, about how much i actually like certain aspects of that film and absolutely abhor others. It got me pondering how much i unabashedly enjoy Shakespeare and many of the big screen adaption of “his” work. These things run the gambit of genre and i think it’s a ripe subject to kind of pick from. I mean, there are just so many ways to adapt this cats catalog and i figure i might as well pick out my favorites.

10. Forbidden Planet

This movie ain’t great. It;s not. But love it anyway. I have a soft spot for those old timey, Fifties, monster flicks and Forbidden Planet is one of the best. It’s campy schlock, don’t misunderstand, but i used to watch this thing late night, right before regular TV went of air. It’s the worst, but i appreciate the fact that it’s true to its time and is one of the very, very, few adaptions of The Tempest. That play never gets the love it deserves.

9. Ophelia

Ophelia is Hamlet from the perspective of his wife, Ophelia. It’s an interesting take on the Hamlet narrative, not really one of would gravitate toward if not for this ridiculously stellar cast, particularly Daisy Ridley. She kills the role as Ophelia and kind of makes you want to see where this version of the story goes. I definitely prefer the tragedy of Hamlet over this take on the narrative, but Ophelia definitely stands on it’s own and is totally worth a watch.

8. She’s the Man

Listen, this is a guilty pleasure. She’s the Man ain’t great. It’s actually pretty terrible, but i love it for how earnest this film is in telling it’s story. An adaption of Shakespeare’s gender-swap farce, Twelfth Night, it’s one of the few, comedic, plays that got the big screen treatment and Amanda Bynes carries this whole goddamn movie as this version’s Viola. I actually miss when Bynes wasn’t crazy and just made funny, endearing, sh*t like this. I mean, who doesn’t love Big Fat Liar, you know?

7. Scotland, PA

This is probably the most creative take on a Shakespeare property i have ever seen in my entire life. This is MacBeth, told as black comedy a la Fargo, set in a 1975 Pennsylvania fast food restaurant. Yeah. I’m not even going to go any further into it. This was one of the most ridiculous viewing experiences i’ve ever had and i loved very second of it.

6. Hamlet

I feel like this is a cheat, like there would be something different here. I actually pondered the Lion King because, technically, that’s a Hamlet adaption but, the more i thought about it, the more this one had to go on the list. It’s just that good. The1996 version of Hamlet, directed, screenplay written by, and starring Kenneth Branagh, is a whole ass classic. It’s a straight forward interpretation of the original play only updated with a nineteenth century aesthetic, which fits the narrative surprisingly well. This version of Hamlet is high f*cking art, man. It’s gorgeous in every way. The score, the costumes, the sets, the colors; All of it is a legitimate feast for the eyes. That said, this motherf*cker is four hours long so, you know, understand that sh*t going in. It;s worth, don’t misunderstand, it’s just real long in the tooth, man.

5. My Own Private Idaho

Idaho is probably the bleakest film on this list. Gus Van Zant is pretty great at capturing the sordid, cruel, reality of the human experiences which makes his adaption of Shakespeare’s Henry tetralogy. I don’t much go for European history for reasons, but i dug this flick and how it kind of mutes all of the glamour and Victorian nonsense for a more guttural, street level, desperation. My Own Private Idaho is not an easy watch I t can be incredibly difficult to get through at times but that doesn’t mean it’s not a brilliant film. that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take on this challenge. The performance that River Phoenix gives, alone, is enough for admission. As dope as Joaquin is at his craft, River was definitely the superior talent and that is no more apparent than in this movie.

4. 10 Things I Hate About You

The Taming of the Shrew is actually one of my favorite Shakespeare plays and this film, 10 Things I Hate About You, is one of the best versions of that narrative. This film is f*cking hilarious. It’s outstanding and unique and never strays from the heart of it’s inspiration. Plus, i mean, it’s got a young Heath Ledger just stealing all of the scenes. When you watch him in this, you know dude has all of the talent. This film is why i was completely okay with him as Joker when they announced it. Everyone else lost their sh*t but me? I remembered Ledger’s Patrick Verona and knew the role was in good hands.

3. Throne of Blood

If i had to choose a favorite Shakespeare story, it’s definitely MacBeth. I love that sh*t. There’s intrigue, betrayal, violence, lust, and even a little magic; Everything you need to build an intriguing plot. Take the basic narrative and funnel it through a true master of film like Akira Kurosawa and you get a real classic like Throne of Blood. This is an old one, it dropped back in ‘57, but it’s worth a watch. Kurosawa was a true visionary in his craft and the way he was able to, not only adapt but elevate the source material? F*cking amazing, man. Y’all should watch more Akira Kurosawa, man. He’s one of the most influential filmmakers ever to do it and it’s for good reason. Also, f*cking more MacBeth adaptions, please? There are only, like, six. The f*ck, yo?

2. Romeo + Juliet

I’ve already spoken about my love for this decidedly Nineties take on that classic, uncomfortably problematic, laughably toxic, romance that’s just rife with all of the tragedy and tropes. Why the double-dip? Because i love it THAT much! Tybalt, Mercutio, the aesthetic, that soundtrack; F*cking chef kiss, bro! If you’ve never seen this version of Romeo and Juliet, you don't love yourself enough.

1. Ex Machina

Yeah, that’s right, this f*cking masterpiece of existential, cyberpunk dread, is based on Shakespeare, too! Motherf*ckers wouldn’t know because it’s kind of a deep cut but a lot of the themes from The Tempest, actually my second favorite Shakespeare outing, ring true to Garland’s narrative. I mean, do i really have to explain why i love this movie so much? Actually, i have. Repeatedly. My praise for this movie is rife throughout the backlog of this blog. This thing has made multiple of the Select lists because it’s so f*cking great. Obviously, it’s my favorite adaption but, more than that, like Throne of Blood, it’s just a great f*cking film by itself.

Honorable Mentions: The Lion King, Titus (1999), A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999), Men of Respect, Richard III (1995), Much Ado About Nothing (1993), Ran, MacBeth (2015), Coriolanus (2011), Get Over It

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wolfpawn · 4 years

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I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 96

Chapter Summary - Danielle and Tom go for lunch with Kenneth Branagh.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

“Ready?”

“Tom, I am having kittens, of course, I am not ready,” Danielle informed him as she walked up the steps of the central London hotel.

“Why do you say such peculiar phrases?” Tom laughed.

“It was either say that or go for a non-PG comment.” She stated.

“Fair enough, it does not make it any less odd of a statement.” He pulled her to him. “Kenneth is a lovely man, honestly, just be yourself, don’t fret and it will be fine.”

“He is the one that got you the Thor gig, isn’t he?”

“Yes, I was fortunate to get Wallander with him, then he directed Thor, he told me the job and I applied, as Thor, but as soon as he saw it was me, he gave me Loki’s script, and the rest, as they say, is history.” He grinned. “Wouldn’t it be odd if he is the one that gets you the ability to do as you wanted and work for yourself?”

“We’d owe him a lot.”

“Everything.”

“Not everything, I mean, if you did not put your heart and soul into Loki, then it would not have mattered, as it stands, your performance has made him the undeniable King of Marvel villains. You did that, but yes, without Branagh saying to take the script, it would all not matter.” She pointed out. Inhaling deeply, she stopped outside the restaurant. “Jesus, this is hard.”

Tom watched as she readied herself, breathing deeply to try and prevent her nerves showing. “Elle,” She looked at him. “You are incredibly dedicated and you have had nothing but amazing things said about you by your previous employers, you will do wonderfully at this.” He smiled encouragingly.

“I know, but this is big. I mean Game of Thrones is big, obviously, but a war movie, Tom, you did War Horse, think of that with more weapons, it’s going to be a logistical and hazard shit-storm, if I get it right, I am leapfrogging steps again, if I get it wrong, it is actually dangerous.” She paced slightly. “What is wrong with me, I was never this anxious before.”

“I don’t know, but you have no reason to worry, just breathe.” She did as he instructed. “Ready?” She nodded slightly. Taking her hand in his, Tom walked into the restaurant. The Maître d’ smiling politely at them as they did. “Branagh table.”

“Of course, Mr Hiddleston, this way.” The man brought two menus and a wine list and escorted the pair to a small alcove in the very corner of the restaurant, slightly hidden from the rest of the patrons.

There in the corner was Branagh, a thick file in front of him, as well as a tablet, looking over something. As though sensing someone was approaching, he looked up from his work. It took only a moment for him to recognise who it was and he rose to his feet. “Tom.” He walked around the table and embraced the younger man fondly. “How are you?”

“Great, it’s great to see you, you look well, what’s new with you?”

“Well, getting this off the ground.” He pointed to the file in front of him before looked to Danielle, “I can assume you are Ms Hughes?” he reached out to shake her hand, his face one of politeness and friendliness.

“Yes, thank you for considering me, Mr Branagh.” She took his hand and shook.

“You’re Irish?” He seemed somewhat surprised.

Remembering that she had read somewhere that his family came from the North during the Troubles, Danielle was worried for a moment that her Southern accent and nationality would be an issue. “Yes, Galway.”

“Lovely spot, went there on holidays a few times, especially Connemara, never could understand a word they said, most of it was in Irish, I loved it, never got to learn it though.”

“I grew up there, it’s taught from preschool when it’s all you hear six hours a day, it becomes second nature, I still do sums in Irish in my head.” She admitted, relieved that he seemed to be unbothered by her nationality.

“Fair dues, well, let’s order something to eat and talk business then, alright? Order whatever you want, the studio is paying.” He winked.

“Dangerous words.” Tom joked as he and Danielle sat down and looked at the menu. As soon as he read the first main course, he knew what Danielle would have, he smiled when he glanced to the side to see her focus on that order and none other.

“Stop, we could get you the side of a cow and you’ll still be as lithe as you are.” Kenneth dismissed. “There’s nothing on you. We were in Sweden, filming Wallander, and he put away a 14-ounce steak, honestly.” Branagh explained to Danielle.

“I remember, when I first came over, he was at his mam's, and I had cooked a lasagne, I cook big meals and freeze them, handier, and he polished off half a family-sized dish of it, then an hour later, I swear to God, comes in and grouses to his mum that he was hungry,” Danielle added.

Branagh nodded. “I’d well believe it. So, you know each a while then?” He looked between the pair interestedly.

“Six years.” Tom answered, “we finally only got our acts together back in October.”

“Well, better late than never,” Kenneth beamed.

The waitress arrived and both men paused for a moment, silently expecting Danielle to go first. She had read before that politely yet firmly assuming control was a coveted trait in set personnel of higher roles, so smiling courteously, she looked to the waitress. “May I have a goat’s cheese to start and then the duck, all the trimmings please and I am fine with just water, thank you.” The waitress took her menu, then looked to the men.

Tom grinned, knowing Danielle would never decline duck. He ordered his own food as well as a sparkling water before Branagh ordered his own.

“Good to see someone in film not afraid to actually eat,” Branagh commented. Danielle said nothing back, “I don’t mean that in an offensive manner.”

“I assumed not,” Danielle smiled. “My mother would go insane if she thought I had started starving myself.”

“All Irish mothers are prone to that.” Branagh agreed. “So,” he turned on the screen of the tablet. “The general premise, as you can imagine, is fairly simple, planes, tanks, guns and ships, ground soldiers and civilians; what I wanted to do, and that is why I was hoping for Lucas, but am very relieved he sent you to me since he is otherwise disposed of, is I want to perform a series of shot that incorporates the city bombings also. So…”

“St Pauls with the incendiaries, Balham station, the parts of London that nearly were burnt away, general destruction, and if I am not mistaken, you even mentioned Belfast and Dublin.”

“Yes,” Branagh beamed, elated that she seemed to get his idea. “You did your homework.”

“Didn’t need to, my father was an avid history lover and I spent most days he had a few hours off watching documentaries, willingly or otherwise.” She admitted. “I have to confess I still watch them now.”

“Brilliant, then you know the scale we are talking about.”

Tom knew a lot about film, RADA taught him more than just acting, it taught him a plethora of behind the camera work also, directing, producing, camera work, and such things, but what Danielle was talking about, the detail and her terminology made him realise he knew nothing of her job. He remembered the times stunt coordinators were working with him in different shows and movies, they were meticulous yet focused on the task, in truth, he rarely heard of safety officers before, they were simply just there. Danielle’s pace of talk and her focus on what Branagh had said he wanted showed she was incredibly capable and astute to the details of her job.

By the time the food came, Branagh had declared that he would have the studio send out her contract and that she need not worry about flights and accommodation, she was sorted where needed. “I am delighted that Lucas told me about you, you have no idea the sheer level of naysayers there are that will not even consider such ideas.”

“Probably frightened of the paperwork,” Danielle commented. She had noted such working with others, the loathed the paperwork, she thrived on it, used to having to go into detail with being a paramedic.

“I think so.”

“Excuse me a moment please.” Danielle rose from her chair and walked to the bathroom. She had not wanted to go, but she could tell that Tom was somewhat lost in the conversation that was taking place and she wanted to let him speak with his friend, so she went away for a moment to allow it to happen. Standing in front of the mirror in the women’s bathroom, she checked her hair and makeup. She had not done much, just put her hair back in a clip and made sure her face was somewhat tidy. She smiled at the outfit she had chosen, neat and yet not making her seem like she was in her fifties, Tom had looked at her with a surprised, yet approving smile when she came down after her shower before they left. Satisfied that she had left it long enough, she turned to return to the men.

"I don’t think I have heard of you being serious with someone since Thor,” Kenneth noted after Danielle left the room.

“I have not been,” Tom admitted.

“I take it she is someone very special then.”

Tom couldn’t help but smile. “She is.”

“How do you feel about her leaving for work?”

“What can I say, I was gone for three weeks not too long ago, I am leaving again in April and will be doing other work this year. It would be a tad rich of me to be against her leaving for work. Besides, you have not seen how hard she works, Danielle is dedicated to her work and loves it, I could never even consider asking her to stop and she would be the same. We have to juggle it, the same as everyone else in the business.”

“It’s not easy, but it can work; as long as you don’t do what I did and mess up,” Branagh warned. “I screwed up before.”

“Most everyone has,” Tom pointed out. “I spent so long pretending I didn’t love Elle, that I almost lost the chance to ever have her.”

“Well, it worked out in the end.” Branagh smiled. “Lucas Waters is a very hard man to get approval from, why do you think your girl has him ringing me demanding I take her?”

“Elle apparently made him feel foolish, she tore his work apart.”

“I am aware of that, but this is a closed shop Tom, our side of things has limited breakouts but behind the scenes, you have to all but sell your soul to breakthrough, what is it she has that made a man who has crushed many a dream and studio’s hearts ringing me and tell me no one else is worth my while?” Branagh looked to Tom for the answer. “What about her makes you want to be around her?”

“She is incredibly strong-willed, not in a stubborn manner, though she can be when needed, but when others would have shied away, she kept going. She is intelligent, as you have seen, she is an avid reader, so her knowledge about what you need for this movie, that is all her, no brown-nosing, she genuinely reads that much.”

“Shakespeare?” Branagh asked with a smile.

“Yeats, Shakespeare, Wilde, all of them and more, she will check the documentary channels long before she ever looks at anything else on TV other than sport. She has self- motivation, she does triathlons as well as work. When she injured her wrist at Christmas, she did not let that hamper her, she went straight to studying for this, in under two months, she went through a six-month course.” Branagh nodded. “She is an incredible person, she does not alter herself for others, the woman you have been sitting across from for the past hour is the same woman that will sit on the couch beside me later with our dog watching TV talking happily about the show she recorded last night at some obscure hour of the night.” Tom smiled as he recalled the excited squeak Danielle had made when something she wanted to watch was on late last night. “She is not afraid to be herself and sometimes that means not agreeing with you, she will fight for what she believes in, even if it means risking things she loves because it is right.”

Branagh noticed Tom swallow at that. “What did she do?”

“Made me see sense, but to do that, she had to risk everything, but she did it, hurting herself to do so.”

“It was worth it though.”

“I think so.” Tom smiled. “You won’t be disappointed, you’ll see that this Lucas guy saw, what other people she has worked with have seen. She is amiable, hardworking and will not disappoint, I promise.”

“Any woman that has you speaking about ‘our’ dog must be something serious and special.”

“Are you happy with what she is talking about?”

“I trust Lucas, I have worked with him for years when he said this is the person, I trusted his instincts, having met her, I can see she is incredibly able. Her line of work is male-dominated and she is better than most every one of them.” Tom smiled proudly. “So, how is Loki these days, I read he is coming out again this year?” Branagh asked, a smug smile on his face.

Tom parked the car in the driveway, they had said hardly anything since they had left the restaurant, but the mood was pleasant. He took the keys out of the ignition and looked at Danielle, who was staring straight ahead. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” she nodded, not looking at him. “Just daunted.”

“What do you mean?”

“Everything he wants, rubble, flooded tube stations, the weapons,” She started laughing slightly. “I am going to go grey.”

“You will not, you heard him, you will have your own team.”

“I cannot believe I am heading a team,” she shook her head in disbelief before the smile fell from her face. “What if they don’t respect what I say because I am a woman?”

Tom’s brows knitted together. “You know that’s not going to happen; if it does, there are protocols to go through.”

“I know,” she leant in against him “I am just wondering how I will make their murders seem like an accident.”

Immediately Tom started laughing. “Yes, that can be bothersome.” He kissed her temple. “Come on, Mac is not best pleased.”

Looking at the window, the pair laughed at the indignant look on Mac’s face inside the sitting room, looking out at them. “No, he does not, he probably wants to go to the bathroom.” Danielle got out of the car and went into the house, Mac dancing around her feet, leading her to the back door, where he stared between it and his owner, trying to explain to her his issue. “Alright buddy, here you go.” She opened the door and Mac ran out immediately. Shaking her head as she closed it again, she walked to the hallway just as Tom closed the front door. “The poor guy was bursting.” Tom rushed forward, putting his arms around Danielle’s waist before kissing her almost ferociously. “What has gotten into you?” She smiled against his lips.

“You are incredible.” Tom pulled her right in against him. “So fucking incredible.” His voice almost three octaves lower as he kissed her again.

“Did me talking shop turn you on?” Danielle seemed to realise what it was that had Tom so frisky.

“Mmhmm….” His hands made their way towards her ass, hoisting her up as he pressed them into the hallway wall. “You know I have a thing for your incredible brains.”

Part of Danielle was about to make a quip about Swift, but she decided it was not worth it and thought of something far more pleasurable instead. “Bedroom?”

“We haven’t christened the hall.” Tom reminded her.

#I Hate You I Love You #chapter 96 #Tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston #wolfpawn

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schmergo · 6 years

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What Your Favorite Shakespeare Character Says About You

I was sending these individually to people’s inboxes but then tumblr got weird about it and started thinking I was a robot because I was sending too many messages, so I made this instead:

Hamlet: You've been going through a PRETTY DANG WEIRD COUPLE OF YEARS. You've either taken at least one philosophy class or you've written/made/performed something inspired by your feelings about your parents.

Ophelia from Hamlet: You're depressed but have a top-notch aesthetic. You are constantly amazed by how much the people around you can let you down.

Horatio from Hamlet: You’re a very good listener but people rarely listen to you.

Beatrice from Much Ado: You use humor and irony to cope with virtually any situation unless it involves one of your friends getting hurt. Then you are in Mama Bear attack mode.

Benedick from Much Ado: You either love Kenneth Branagh or are a Nerdfighter or both.

Macbeth: You either really love your significant other or really love Fight Club.

Lady Macbeth: You either went through a goth phase or you have really strong opinions about classic Hollywood divas/ aging female Broadway stars/ modern pop stars.

Richard III: You either love edgy memes or you're the kind of person who really likes Loki and Kylo Ren. Or you absolutely hate the fact that Shakespeare portrayed him as a villain, which means that your favorite Shakespeare character is not Richard III at all, you just have a favorite historical figure.

Queen Margaret: You either own multiple pieces of merchandise with feminist slogans on them or you have very strong opinions about Game of Thrones.

Juliet: You are NOT getting along great with your parents right now. You have a favorite Disney princess and it's not because of how she looks but what she's been through.

Romeo: If you're not an Instagram poet, you should be.

Mercutio: You like to make jokes while watching movies with your friends. Your friends probably don't enjoy this as much as you do. You probably either really like The Joker or Deadpool.

Prince Hal: You, who most loves Prince Hal, are also more judgmental of his choices than anyone else. You're the kind of person who puts together really intricate, detailed plans for upcoming events or projects and devotes yourself totally singlemindedly to them while acting like you are under no stress and having a good time, sending out lots of friendly and chill sounding reminders like, "Hey guys! Things are moving along! Just a few updates!" You lie awake all night in a panic about these things.

Hotspur: You would think that people who love Hotspur are also jocks, but in fact, they are actually enthusiastic nerds who are always up to argue relentlessly about their favorite topics.

Falstaffs: You are either someone who has played Falstaff, wants to play Falstaff, have seen a favorite actor or loved one play Falstaff, or are leading literary critic and Yale professor Harold Bloom.

Richard II: You either have a very detailed pinterest, instagram, or tumblr devoted to your personal aesthetic. You tend to self-sabotage. If you ever get married, you will be WEIRD about your wedding. Also, you are probably not heterosexual, let's be honest.

Rosalind from As You Like It: You have probably wished you could give lessons to a previous partner of yours of how to be a less sucky boyfriend/girlfriend. You have had at least one controversial haircut among your friend group.

Viola from Twelfth Night: Same as the above, but also people constantly guessed incorrectly about your sexual orientation growing up. And also, you still sometimes think wistfully of your high school crush.

Malvolio from Twelfth Night: You are smart, but you often do stupid things. You like to watch 'cringe compilations' or follow humorous fail/shaming blogs, but you also constantly worry you will find yourself on them.

Olivia from Twelfth Night: You have had a string of BAD RELATIONSHIPS and are DONE right now, but that doesn't mean that you're not extremely committed to STYLE, because you are.

Paulina from The Winter's Tale: You HATE your boss.

Shylock: You constantly feel the need to tell people that he is NOT a villain and everyone else in that play is terrible. You can't even enjoy The Merchant of Venice, but you keep going to see productions of it anyway.

Iago: You constantly feel the need to tell people that you're not actually racist, but you just think he's a FASCINATING VILLAIN.

Othello: You weep when certain songs come on the radio.

Prospero: You are writer who often complains about how HARD it is to be a writer despite getting very little done.

Caliban: You actually like A Tempest better than The Tempest.

Ariel: See PUCK below, except you're less annoying.

Puck: You used to do gymnastics, martial arts, or some other kind of sport or dance because your family hoped that would help you get some of your energy out and you'd be less hyperactive, destructive, and disruptive. You have a bad habit of accidentally breaking things.

Helena: You had really bad self-esteem in high school and still have really bad luck in relationships.

Titania: You used to have Lisa Frank everything in elementary school.

Oberon: You really like Renaissance faires

Brutus: You have always been either an overachiever perfectionist or someone who habitually bites off way way way way way more than you can chew and makes a mess of it despite trying really hard. You remind people to bring an extra sweater to events because it might get chilly.

Cassius: You are extremely smart and yet you're also an impulsive mess who does weird things like start painting your entire bedroom at 2 AM. You feel like you somehow have the sworst luck in the world and that if you had more opportunities, things would be better. You have a grudge against specific celebrities.

King Lear: You have a favorite elderly British actor.

Cleopatra: You secretly consider the Kardashians or other similarly luxuriously-living reality stars an extremely guilty pleasure. You also may have gone through a strong Ancient Egypt phase in elementary school.

Coriolanus: The Prince of Egypt made a big impression on you even if you're not religious. You are quiet and reserved but swear like a sailor. You either have a huge crush on Tom Hiddleston or have a favorite Civil War battle.

Katherina from Taming of the Shrew: Either you don't actually like Taming of The Shrew or you've never actually seen/read Taming of the Shrew.

Anyone else: You're just Too Cool For School, aren't you?

#shakespeare #literature #theatre

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hamletthedane · 9 months

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turns out you can spend $18 million on your filmed production of Hamlet and cast all the great Hollywood stars of the 90’s to act in it, and it will still never beat that one performance by a kid in a texas barn with an audience of 40, performed during in a 110F heat wave

#anyways I saw a production of hamlet that knocked my fucking socks off in a barn in 110F heat #the whole cast was ranging from good-for-local-theater to actually-really-good #but hamlet was something else entirely. transcendental theater experience #anybody in or around central texas/Houston/Cstat who wants to see an incredible Hamlet performance hmu for details #female actors cross-casted to play Hamlet just feels so very very right #hamlet #willy shakes #this is a Kenneth Branagh Hamlet hate blog

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nick33304 · 5 years

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550 Blog Post #2: Blackadder

youtube

Full disclosure: I am unfamiliar with Blackadder, and I have never seen the film Blackadder: Back & Forth (1999) where this clip is from, but what I can gather from the clip is that Rowan Atkinson’s character is from the present and has traveled back in time. While in the past, he bumps into William Shakespeare (played by Colin Firth, who also played the antagonist of Shakespeare in Love), gets his autograph, and then proceeds to beat Shakespeare for children who had to “suffer” his plays in schools for centuries as well as Kenneth Branagh’s “endless, uncut, four hour version of Hamlet,” much to Shakespeare’s confusion.

Blackadder presents Shakespeare much like a writer, director, or some other creator of media in contemporary times. When Atkinson’s character inquires if Shakespeare is who he is, Shakespeare responds, “Don’t say it! I know, you hated Two Gentlemen of Verona. This one’s [Macbeth] is much better.” The way he says this makes it seem that Shakespeare is accustomed to getting criticisms of The Two Gentlemen of Verona, as he should. This is very similar to how a fandom may react when something is done within that subject that they think is bad: They heavily criticize the creator, often to the creator’s annoyance at best. Saying that Macbeth “is much better” is correct to someone he thinks is a fan indicates that he is trying to appease his fan base.

The clip has criticisms of Shakespeare. Atkinson’s character embodies what many who are not fans of Shakespeare feel about his work: disdain. He laments that Shakespeare is hard to read and understand, and that children for centuries have struggled to understand him. He also seems to have similar disdain for and makes fun of those who are fans of Shakespeare such as Kenneth Branagh. When Shakespeare asks who Branagh is, Atkinson’s character responds, “I’ll tell him you said that, and I think he’ll be very hurt,” with some sense of satisfaction.

At the same time, Atkinson’s character does recognize Shakespeare’s reputation and status in the present: before beating him, Atkinson’s character asks Shakespeare for an autograph, presumably for some sort of monetary or societal gain. The clip recognizes why some modern audiences may hate Shakespeare, as well as his high status.

In class today, we discussed how Shakespeare presented history on stage. Richard III is not necessarily historically accurate, given that Richard died over a century before Shakespeare was writing, but it does reflect Shakespeare’s time. He was presenting his play to an audience who were under a Tudor monarch. It makes since that Shakespeare would have Richard represent evil incarnate given that the Tudors overthrew him. Similarly, Blackadder’s Shakespeare reflects the time when Blackadder: Back & Forth was released. Shakespeare is very much a modern creator in that film, one who has to deal with fan backlash. Also, while his high status is noted, it presents Shakespeare has a reviled figure forced upon others which many schoolchildren and others apparently feel about Shakespeare. Whether it be the 1590s or the 1990s, history in the arts reflects the present.

#shakespeare

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kalique · 6 years

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Look i’ve been thinking about it and i just cannot get behind this awful artemis fowl cast. i am boycotting kenneth branagh, this is now a branagh hate blog. my god. what a terrible cast.

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smokeybrandreviews · 3 years

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Smokey brand Select: Violent Delights

10. Forbidden Planet

9. Ophelia

8. She’s the Man

Listen, this is a guilty pleasure. She’s the Man ain’t great. It;s actually pretty terrible, but i love it for how earnest this film is in telling it’s story. An adaption of Shakespeare’s gender-swap farce, Twelfth Night, it’s one of the few, comedic, plays that got the big screen treatment and Amanda Bynes carries this whole goddamn movie as this version’s Viola. I actually miss when Bynes wasn’t crazy and just made funny, endearing, sh*t like this. I mean, who doesn’t love Big Fat Liar, you know?

7. Scotland, PA

6. Hamlet

I feel like this is a cheat, like there would be something different here. I actually pondered the Lion King because, technically, that’s a Hamlet adaption but, the more i thought about it, the more this one had to go on the list. It’s just that good. The 1996 version of Hamlet, directed, screenplay written by, and starring Kenneth Branagh, is a whole ass classic. It’s a straight forward interpretation of the original play only updated with a nineteenth century aesthetic, which fits the narrative surprisingly well. This version of Hamlet is high f*cking art, man. It’s gorgeous in every way. The score, the costumes, the sets, the colors; All of it is a legitimate feast for the eyes. That said, this motherf*cker is four hours long so, you know, understand that sh*t going in. It;s worth, don’t misunderstand, it’s just real long in the tooth, man.

5. My Own Private Idaho

4. 10 Things I Hate About You

3. Throne of Blood

2. Romeo + Juliet

1. Ex Machina

#Smokey brand Select #Shakespeare

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now-watching · 7 years

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A little over five years ago I wrote something on my film blog when Robert Osborne was ill and had to step away from his work with TCM. Now with Osborne’s passing I’m posting it here.

Wow, where to start.

The beginning?

Alright, the beginning.

It all started when I was in middle school. I was sick one day when I was in 8th grade, it was probably the usual trouble with my tonsils, my Mom had mercy on me and let me stay home from school.

Usually when I stayed home from school I spent the day watching Mexican or Brazilian soap operas, or in bed reading, but this time was different, my dad had finally caved and we now had cable. I had a plethora of channels to choose from and no way of deciding where to begin so I started channel surfing.

I discovered two things that day, the first was Kenneth Branagh (I fell madly in love with Branagh while watching him in ‘Henry V’) and the second was TCM. I remember that ‘An American Romance’ was playing when I stumbled upon TCM and I fell in love for a second time, not with a gorgeous and talented man (those of you who know me are aware that this occurs often) but with a television channel. Unfortunately cable TV didn’t last long in our house, my parents decided that my siblings and I spent far too much time in front of the television screen so I didn’t get to enjoy TCM for quite some time.

A few years later cable made a comeback in the Arteaga home and I rediscovered TCM and this time around I found out that there was a guide to this wonderful world of gritty noirs, dazzling musicals, foreign masterpieces, and superb silent comedies and his name was Robert Osborne.

During my first few years as a college student I spent most of my free time in front of the TV looking through what the DVR had recorded from TCM while I’d been toiling away in class. During this time I watched films like: The Naked City, My Man Godfrey, The Seventh Seal, Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday, The Red Shoes, Algiers, and A Star is Born and many of these films, along with the countless others I watched, came with fascinating tidbits of information provided by the host I had quickly grown to love.

My love for Robert Osborne became so great that I hated nothing more than when the DVR would start recording halfway through Robert Osborne’s intros or not record them at all, the fact that I had missed something he had shared with the audience was terribly frustrating. I continue to treasure not only his introductions to films but also his interviews with actors that I have loved since I was kid. What makes his interviews such a treat is that Osborne always knows exactly what to ask, which is no surprise considering how knowledgeable he is, and because he is such a gracious man he conducts the interviews beautifully and it’s clear that the person sitting opposite him enjoyed him/herself.

Even though we have never met in person Robert Osborne will always have a special place in my life, he’s with a very special group of people who helped introduce me to the enthralling world of classic cinema, and for his role in that I am eternally grateful.

Bob, we missed you terribly during your absence and it’s great to finally have you back!

<3 Raquel

#Robert Osborne #TCM

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iuniverseblog · 6 years

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iUniverse’s Guy Franks tells us about new book, “A Midsummer Madness”

Veteran author Guy Franks discusses his new book, A Midsummer Madness, along with his literary interests, writing approach, and passion for baseball!

A Midsummer Madness was born out of my love for William Shakespeare and baseball. To me, the music of Shakespeare’s metered verse, his cutting wit, his insight into the human soul, pairs nicely with the perfect distances of baseball, with its theatrics and homespun wisdom. When I listen to Giants manager Bruce Bochy I hear Prospero. When Coriolanus offers his services to his enemy Aufidius it reminds me of Jeff Kent, the great Giants second baseman, choosing to sign with their archrival the Dodgers. The famous actress Tallulah Bankhead understood the parallel when she said, “There have only been two geniuses in the world — Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.”

When I watch a game of baseball, preferably with a cold beer and a bag of salted peanuts, I see a Shakespearean play unfold before me. There is a beginning, a middle and an end, and it’s filled with great characters, surprises, and twists of fate. It can be a thrilling triumph like Henry the Fifth, a Comedy of Errors, or, depending on one’s fortunes in the bottom of the ninth, a tragedy like Julius Caesar. But comedy or tragedy, all the ingredients of any one of the Bard’s plays are there to enjoy on a baseball diamond. It was the great baseball writer Roger Kahn who first drew the analogy between a minor league ball club and an Elizabethan acting troupe traveling from town to town plying their trade. In A Midsummer Madness, I’ve attempted to take the great themes and elegant poetry of Shakespeare and blend them with the dirt and grass of baseball to make a savory tragic-comic stew spiced with music and wordplay.

My stage is set in 1986 Connecticut during the great renaissance of minor league baseball, and my acting troupe is the New Britain Kingsmen of the Double-A Eastern League. The Kingsmen are managed by Shakespeare Louis Glover. “Shake” Glover is my focal point. As the Bard-quoting skipper of the Kingsmen, he is meant to embody the harmony that is Shakespeare and baseball. He’s an ex-ball player turned successful minor league manager, but he’s also Leontes in A Winter’s Tale, as well as Henry the Fourth with a little bit of Prospero thrown in from The Tempest. The story follows the Kingsmen from opening day to the championship game, and along the way I’ve woven in characters and subplots from such Shakespeare plays as Hamlet, Othello, Henry IV, Much Ado About Nothing, Cymbeline, Twelfth Night, and As You Like It.

I’ve been a baseball fan all my life. My dad took me to my first game when I was a boy to see the San Francisco Giants play at Candlestick Park. Some of the greatest players of all time where there—Willie Mays, Juan Marichal, Willie McCovey—and I’ve been hooked ever since. It’s the finest game ever invented, and the fact that it has remained relatively unchanged for a hundred and fifty years and has survived the vagaries of time gives me solace. The poet Sharon Olds put it best when she said, “Baseball is reassuring. It makes me feel as if the world is not going to blow up.”

Like most of you, I was formally introduced to Shakespeare in high school. I think it was Romeo and Juliet in Mrs. Burns’ English Class. Once I got to Cal Berkeley as an English Lit Major, Shakespeare was an inevitability, like Haley’s Comet, and I hopped on that comet and have been riding it ever since. I have read all of his plays, some multiple times, and my DVD movie library contains many of the best adaptations of his work—movies like Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet (the one with the sublime Olivia Hussey), anything by Lawrence Olivier, and Kenneth Branagh’s Henry IV. I also enjoy movies or plays that have fun with Shakespeare (Theatre of Blood with Vincent Price comes to mind), or ones that entertainingly update his plays like Ten Things I Hate About You, which is a rendition of Taming of the Shrew set at a high school. It was movies like these that were the idea behind A Midsummer Madness.

A Midsummer Madness is my third novel. Beggar King is an historical fiction novel set in Ancient Greece that was published in 2008. Railhead is a western novel set in 1869 Wyoming and was published in 2012. Historical fiction is my preferred genre, and I think that each of my literary influences—Hemingway, Faulkner, Twain, Steinbeck—all wrote historical fiction novels in one way or another. Certainly Dickens and Tolstoy did, and in terms of more modern influences I would point to Steven Pressfield and Charles Frazier. During my research for A Midsummer Madness, I experienced the added delight of discovering some wonderful baseball writers like Roger Kahn, W.P. Kinsella, and David Lamb.

When I sit down to write a novel, it has to have a subject that grabs me and keeps me motivated through the months of research and writing. Whether it’s the myth of Odysseus or the old west or Shakespeare and baseball, the passion for my subject matter has to be there. And I hope that this passion comes out in my work. I try to write the same way Clint Eastwood directs—straight forward, moving the story along, not wasting scenes, and keeping the viewer engaged. If I can accomplish that, I’m happy. And along the way, if I can impart a little about my philosophy or the power of myth, without hitting the reader over the head with it, I’m even happier.

I’m planning something of a launch party for my book here at the local library. My wife is also working hard on social media to get the word out. Signed copies of my book are also going to Larry Baer, CEO of the San Francisco Giants and to their manager Bruce Bochy. I’m hoping to use their positive feedback on my new website that iUniverse is designing for me.

This is my first run at self-publishing, and I have to say that iUniverse delivered on everything they said they would in a timely and professional manner. I’ve also recommended them to other author-friends of mine as an alternative to trying to crack through the granite monolith that is traditional publishing. One of my favorite experiences was working with the iUniverse folks in designing my book cover. And, of course, nothing beats the kick you get when you see that book cover for the first time on Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com.

My advice to aspiring writers would be directed to a very select group of authors who, like myself, are trying to write a book while at the same time working a full-time job and raising a family. Find a way to carve out the time. That’s all I can say. I wrote my first novel when I was a middle manager in a major corporation, with a wife and two kids, a home mortgage, and bills to pay. But I found a way to carve out an hour or two, here and there, sometimes at home and sometimes at work, and over time, little by little, brick by brick, I finished the book with my family and job still healthy and intact. It might take years, but what the heck. What else do you have to do?

Make sure to check out the iUniverse site for more advice and blogs, as well as iUniverse Facebook and iUniverse Twitter. For a FREE Publishing Guide, click here!

#iUniverse #iUniverse Blog #iUniverse Publishing

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jakelace · 7 years

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Marvel Ranked: Part 3 (22-12)

The night of the Spider-Man: Homecoming premier is upon us now, so again Aaron Hahn and I are going through our rankings of all of the Marvel movies since 1998. In case you have missed any of the previous installments, you can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 on Aaron’s blog here. Without any further ado, lets dig into those Marvel films that are just on the verge of being some of the best of all time.

22. THE WOLVERINE

“Eternity can be a curse. It hasn't been easy for you, living without time. The losses you have had to suffer. A man can run out of things to live for. Lose his purpose. Become a ronin. A samurai without a master.”

Jacob: The train scene, Aaron! The train scene! It was moments like that that left me so high after viewing this film. In fact, the first two acts of this film are really great. James Mangold was on his way to directing one of the greatest X-Men films ever! Sure, we can say he’s done that now, but not with The Wolverine. It is really a shame how quickly this film goes downhill once the final battle begins. While the film doesn’t squander all of its goodwill it had with me, it certainly tries by including last minute villains and plot twists that were so obvious they barely felt like twists at all.

Aaron: Yes, yes, the train scene is an innovative and thrilling action scene, as are many of the early samurai-inspired battles, but they’re almost drowned out by the goofy, muddled CGI climax. For the first two thirds of the movie, starting with that harrowing Hiroshima opening, James Mangold’s Noir-influenced character study is a refreshingly nuanced, involving superhero flick. Hugh Jackman is great as always, as are Tao Okamoto and Rila Fukushima. It really is such a shame about the third act being so overblown, but thankfully Mangold and Jackman took this film as a learning opportunity, and fixed those tonal inconsistencies the second time around.

21. X-MEN

“I feel a great swell of pity for the poor soul who comes to that school… looking for trouble.”

Aaron: A lot of the commendation for the original X-Men film is directed towards its significance in the history of comic book adaptations. Fueled by some pitch perfect casting choices that went on to pervade the venerable franchise, including Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and Patrick Stewart as Professor X, X-Men was the first successful superhero blockbusters in the modern era, paving the way for the MCU and more to follow. It’s a significant film, but also a pretty good one. Beyond the excellent cast, the film features plenty of exciting (though dated) action, and there’s a lot of charm in its plot’s embrace of comic-book wackiness. While the X-Men franchise would have better (and worse) entries later on, the original film remains a well-made, enjoyable foundation.

Jacob: Of all the X-Men films, this is the one I’ve seen the most by far. While I would never claim it is the best, there is something to it that I just can’t stop coming back to. I love our introduction to Jackman’s Wolverine, the villains’ oddly convoluted plot, the oddly inconsistent accents of Rogue and Storm, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love the “toad and lightning” line in some dark and twisted part of my soul. That line is absolutely horrible, from the writing to the stilted delivery of it, but I consistently laugh at it every time. Not for the right reasons, mind you, but I still laugh. I think that’s the best way to describe my feelings for this film honestly. It isn’t always good, but it has charmed me to the point where I can forgive its shortcomings and laugh along with it.

20. ANT-MAN

“Baskin-Robbins always finds out.”

Jacob: Just so everyone knows, it kills Aaron that Ant-Man is this high on the list. I, however, had fallen for Ant-Man the minute the credits rolled. It is flawed, sure, but there is a lot here that works. Paul Rudd is a charismatic lead, Ant-Man’s power set makes for interesting and often times hilarious set pieces, and the bits left over from Edgar Wright’s original vision for the film are sublime. On top of that, it was the first film in the MCU that really made the universe feel like a living, breathing world, and that is no simple tasks. It’s hard to shake the thoughts of how great this film could have been if Wright had stayed on the project, but if you can manage, there is a lot to love underneath.

Aaron: Going in, we both knew this was going to be one of the most contentious films to place, and, yes, I’d personally put it lower. Ant-Man was one of the first films I reviewed for my blog, and I received a lot of flak for my indifferent response to it. Sure, Paul Rudd, the humor, and the set-pieces are great, but all these elements are just loosely strung together by a series of forced emotional beats and clunky “Hey, this will be important later!” dialogues. I like what you said about it making the MCU feel more like an authentic world though, as the film’s small-scale stakes are refreshing (and fitting for the character). It’s noticeably clunkier than your average MCU film (that Falcon detour is so contrived), but hey, that Thomas the Tank Engine gag never fails to make me laugh.

19. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

“The city is flying and we're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. Nothing makes sense.”

Aaron: Avengers: Age of Ultron’s reception was perhaps unfairly damaged by the inescapable pressure put on it following the all-out success of the first film. It could never have completely recaptured the magic of watching these various heroes unite on the big screen for the first time, but that doesn’t stop it from trying, to marginal success. The quipy writing and excellent chemistry of the all-star cast once again shines, especially in quieter moments that ended up being the best parts of the film, such as the roundtable attempts to lift Thor’s hammer. There’s plenty of cool visuals and dynamic team-up action, and while Ultron’s inconsistent characterization is disappointing, one can’t deny that James Spader was absolutely perfect casting. Age of Ultron can’t help but pale in comparison to its predecessor, but is still a blast for comic-book fans.

Jacob: Speaking of the inescapable pressure of the original, poor Joss Whedon, man. Nearly everything that doesn’t work in this movie can be directly traced back to Marvel mandated content that he had fought against during the film’s production, to the point where it burned him out on working with them altogether (although now he’s with DC, so it couldn’t have burned him out too badly). When this movie shines though, it’s fluorescent. The attempts to lift Thor’s hammer are certainly fantastic, but the moment that shined through the most to me was the introduction to the Barton farm. It’s scenes like those that really prove what Whedon is capable of. He can take characters who we know or care very little for and turn them into some of the most fleshed out and cared for in the series, and that’s really something special...or Thor can take a bath in some cave or something. Not entirely sure what was happening there, but that was in this movie for some reason.

18. IRON MAN 3

“Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?” “Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.”

Jacob: Let’s continue the train of Marvel films Jacob loves that Aaron barely tolerates! Next stop: Iron Man 3! Man, I really dig this movie. From Shane Black’s excellent direction to another show-stopping performance from RDJ, it’s hard for me to believe that people hate this movie. I mean, I even like the parts that people hate, like the Mandarin reveal and the fact that Iron Man is barely in it. This is partially helped by the fact that I love watching films where characters who are out of their element have to find creative ways to solve their problems, and the whole second act fits the bill for me there. On top of that, the finale is bonkers and is everything I wanted from the final solo Iron Man outing. House Party Protocol anyone?

Aaron: Yeah, that “need to find creative ways to solve problems when out of their element” part doesn’t really work. In the first one, Tony Stark is able to create the Mark 1 suit as a captive in a cave in Afghanistan. Here, with access to an entire hardware store, he makes… a electrocuting glove..? And couldn’t we have traded that annoying kid’s screen-time for more Iron Man action? Nevertheless, I have become a lot more favorable to this film after embracing the fact that this is more a Shane Black film than your typical Marvel one. The humor’s great, the parade of new Iron Man suits is delightful, and the examination of Tony’s PTSD is surprisingly heavy material for a summer blockbuster. The Mandarin twist even adds some fascinating political commentary to the mix. It’s too bad it also leaves us with Guy Pearce’s bland villain.

17. THOR

“Your ancestors called it magic, but you call it science. I come from a land where they are one and the same.”

Aaron: I remember, back before the MCU carried a sense of obligation, being very hesitant to see Thor in theaters, having never been a huge fan of the comic character. However, I ended up loving the film, even more than most, as it still ranks as one of my favorite MCU films. The casting is solid all around, including the charismatic performance of the at-the-time relatively unknown Chris Hemsworth, the gravitas generating presence of Anthony Hopkins, and, of course, the introduction of surprise fan-favorite Loki, played by Tom HIddleston. From the elaborate costumes to the various unearthly realms, the film is visually fantastic, embracing its colorful comic book roots. Sure, the detour to Earth slows down the film significantly, but when swept up in fantasy drama of Asgard, imbued with the excellent Shakespearean sensibilities of director Kenneth Branagh, the film is magical.

Jacob: Alright, it’s been a while, so I guess it’s time for me to have another confession time: I don’t really like this movie. I think it might have something to do with not really liking Asgard as a setting, but I find it hard to feel connected to this film and its stakes. On top of that, this is easily Hemsworth’s worst go at the character, and I find it hard to put my finger on as to why that is. Perhaps it’s because Thor is really whiny in this movie? Oh yeah, that’s it. As much as I could nitpick at this film, it’s hard to dismiss it entirely. There are some fun moments like anything with Agent Coulson and our short introduction to Hawkeye, and of course this film introduces us to Hiddleston’s Loki, but on the whole, this is a film I’m content to skip when looking through the MCU’s filmography.

16. BIG HERO 6

“Hello. I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion.”

Jacob: A Disney team-up was practically inevitable from the moment Marvel was acquired by them. I wasn’t expecting much from this film, but thankfully, Big Hero 6 is way better than it has any right to be. A lot of this is helped by a great voice cast including Scott Adsit as Baymax and Alan Tudyk as Alistair Krei (side note: why is Tudyk so fantastically talented? There’s no reason for that.) This film is gorgeous, hilarious, heart-warming, tear-jerking, and pretty much everything else that we’ve come to expect from this most recent string of Disney films. Thankfully for Marvel they were lucky enough to be along for the ride.

Aaron: I guess I’m the opposite in that I expected great things from this film, and was left somewhat disappointed. The story was far too predictable, and for a film called Big Hero 6, the rest of the team are completely overshadowed by Hiro and Baymax. Still, this imbalance is understandable, given how absolutely hilarious and lovable Baymax is. His antics never fail to make me smile, and Scott Adsit is fantastic in the role. It has the expected gorgeous animation of your standard Disney film, and its exploration of grief and depression represents another emotionally mature, yet still fun for the whole family, effort from Disney. I hope we get a sequel to this wonderful, heartwarming film someday, one that moves us further away from this one’s familiar material.

15. DEADPOOL

“You're probably thinking, ‘My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a f***ing kabab!’ Well, I may be super, but I'm no hero.”

Aaron: Deadpool is perhaps the most accurate comic book adaptation ever made. After four failed comic book entries (including #39 on this list, Blade: Trinity), Ryan Reynolds found the role he was born to play, perfectly embodying the manic eccentricities of the anti-hero, uninhibited by the unnecessary muting the character received in X-Men: Origins: Wolverine (#36 on this list!). Mocking everything from the X-Men franchise’s convoluted timeline, to the film’s low budget, to Green Lantern, Deadpool is a riotous blast, with plenty of inventiveness in the action scenes as well. Considering how well it sends up the superhero genre, it is a bit disappointing that it’s clichéd origin story takes up so much of the runtime, but the film packs in enough jokes and absurdities into its brisk runtime to more than make up for all of its shortcomings. Deadpool was a breath of fresh air for the superhero movie genre, and its risk-taking was thankfully rewarded with critical and commercial success.

Jacob: Thankfully is right. Remember when there was a time where Deadpool wasn’t one of the biggest heroes in the world? Well, keep that memory close, because I’m pretty certain we won’t be seeing anything like that again for years to come. Whenever Deadpool is actually being Deadpool in this film, you can’t help but smile from ear to ear. This film is unbelievably gory, raunchy, and hilarious in all of the best ways, but all of that is set to the side for about twenty minutes or so of runtime. While that might not sound like a lot, it’s enough to have you begging for more action, based on the fact that all of it is so good. It’s those twenty minutes that keep this film out of the running for the top ten Marvel films, and that’s no joke. Deadpool is really that good.

14. DOCTOR STRANGE

“Dormammu, I've come to bargain!”

Jacob: It was only a matter of time until the MCU started to dive into the mystical side of the Marvel-verse, and it was a moment I had been eagerly anticipating. Before Doctor Strange was released I did my best to stay away from promotional materials, and I’m thankful I did, because I was completely blown away by what I had seen in that theater. While the story is fairly well- worn in its genre and beyond, Strange differentiates itself by being a spectacle to look at. The way the rooms and cities fold in upon each other all while containing well shot action is nothing less than kaleidoscopic and mesmerizing. That’s without even mention the climax which is the most original in Marvel’s history bar none.

Aaron: The fourteenth film in the MCU, Doctor Strange both adheres strongly to the established studio template, and completely breaks the mold. The story bears strong similarities to the likes of Iron Man and Ant-Man, but, man, those M.C. Escher/Inception-esque kaleidoscopic set-pieces really are just some of the coolest, most visually arresting action scenes ever put to film. There’s also a fantastic cast, with Benedict Cumberbatch doing the type of arrogant genius role he does best, Mads Mikkelsen elevating his underdeveloped villainous role with sheer talent (Man, that “Mr. Doctor” exchange is just sublime), and Tilda Swinton once again proving she’s one of the best actors currently working. And that climactic showdown was fantastically surprising, inventive, and perfectly fitting for the hero. Just wish the rest of the plot had shown that much risk-taking.

13. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2

“He says, Welcome to the frickin' Guardians of the Galaxy! Only he didn't use ‘frickin'.”

Aaron: It’s always hardest ranking the newest entries for a list like this, as they hasn’t been enough time for their impact to be fully gauged. However, it seems like a safe bet to place Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 this high on the list, considering it fully delivers on more of the same irreverent humor, colorful visuals, and rockin’ 70s tunes that made the first film such an unexpected success, even if it is a bit too much of the same. The plot may be a bit sluggish, but that allows the film to spend lots of time further developing the wonderful character dynamics between the fantastic cast, and engaging in extended comedic beats. It doesn’t quite recapture the magic of the first film, but at the end of the day, getting to go on another zany adventure with the endearing Guardians is just an absolutely great time at the movies.

Jacob: I think you’re right in assuming that this placement is somewhat free of a recency bias. Now is it free of my bias for these characters? No…no, it probably isn’t, but man it’s hard to argue against just how much fun this movie is. From the very opening battle to the five (yes, five) after credits scenes I couldn’t help but be fully engrossed in this world and its characters. James Gunn has done such a fantastic job with writing and directing these movies, and though the plot takes a backseat in this entry, it allows Gunn to prove just how much he adores these characters by giving nearly everyone a moment in the spotlight. Oh, and I’ll put the “Come A Little Bit Closer” scene up against nearly any other MCU scene. Don’t @ me.

12. X2: X-MEN UNITED

“The war has begun.”

Jacob: Despite the original X-Men still being quite good and a landmark for superhero cinema, X2 is a quantum leap forward in quality. In fact, a lot of people cite this as their favorite superhero film of all, and while I certainly don’t agree, I can see exactly where they’re coming from. X2 takes the groundwork of the original and builds upon it with great characterization for the series mainstays and newcomers alike (Nightcrawler especially), and well-choreographed action sequences for all of the mutants. Plus, Brian Cox’s Stryker is one of those great villains that I absolutely love to hate.

Aaron: That wicked, intense opening scene of Nightcrawler in the White House is just such a perfect way to kickstart this great movie, and then it’s followed up by that Magneto prison escape, the X-Men Mansion invasion, and that Wolverine/Lady Deathstrike battle? X2 not only contains a plethora of magnificent action scenes, but a lot of strong character work as well, particularly the exploration of Wolverine’s origin (If only that hadn’t felt the need to follow it up with that Origins film…) Plus, Magneto’s betrayal and ultimate master plan is legitimately haunting, helping make X2 not only one of the best X-Men films still, but also one of the best superhero movies ever.

That’s all for today, but be sure to check back tomorrow on https://thiscleverblognameisalreadytaken.tumblr.com/ for the final part of our Marvel Ranked series, where we talk about the best Marvel has to offer in the realm of film.

#Wolverine #X-Men #MCU #spider-man: homecoming #Guardians of the Galaxy #Vol. 2 #Doctor Strange #The Avengers #Thor #Deadpool #Disney #Big Hero 6

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