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guardianofrivendell · 3 years

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can you write something about how the company would react to a reader who is having an asthma attack? I love your work!

Ok I kind of went overboard with this one - sorry!

Also it’s kind of creepy how you guys ask for stuff that I know a lot about. My husband has asthma, so I based this on our experiences. We’re lucky enough that he rarely has an attack and if he does, his inhalers are enough.

Trigger warning: description of asthma attacks, anxiety - so don’t read this if this triggers you in any way!

Company x fem!reader

The Company Reacting to You Having Asthma:

you hadn’t told them about your asthma

and certainly not about the attacks you sometimes got

which was a stupid thing to do really

but you were scared that they wouldn’t want to take you with them on the quest if they knew

and you really, really, REALLY wanted to go

but you also couldn’t blame them if they didn’t want you to come

since you just appeared out of nowhere right in front of them, dressed in weird clothes

talking in a funny accent

making no sense at all when Thorin asked you where you came from

but the dwarves were also gentlemen

thank Mahal

they couldn’t leave a defenseless lady all by herself

which you were a bit irritated about at first, you were not completely defenseless

thinking about that one time you punched your middle school bully right in the nose and other delicate body parts

but Kíli and Fíli promised to keep an eye on you so suddenly it wasn’t that bad anymore

so say hello to company member n° 16

it soon became clear that you had underestimated the whole quest thing

lots of walking

hiking

climbing

and running

keep breathing, in and out, slow breaths

the company just thought you had very poor stamina

which was also true, but not the main reason you were wheezing almost constantly

when they took their pipes out (for smoking!!), you isolated yourself because of course smoke and asthma don’t go well together

they thought you didn’t like the smell of pipeweed

then when you had to deal with the trolls and a warg chase and your arrival in Rivendell all in one day, it gets too much for you

when you’re sitting on the porch with the company at night, you feel the attack coming up

the adrenaline of the chase was gone and stress, anxiety and the realization that you could have died hit you full force

your breathing quickened and you’re wheezing again which wasn’t abnormal for you, so the company didn’t think much of it at first

but you felt your chest tighten so you knew what’s coming

you tried to talk, but were unable to since your chest and throat were closing up

and that’s when you began to panic

“Are you alright?” Dori asked you when he noticed, gaining the attention of the others

you shook your head, eyes wide, pointing at your rucksack

you needed your inhaler

which you were lucky enough to have on you when you found yourself in Middle Earth

but yeah... try to make it clear to a bunch of panicked Dwarves that you needed an inhaler

you would think it was all hilarious if you weren’t suffocating

them showing you all the stuff from your backpack in the hope that was what you needed: handkerchief, tictacs, your phone, lipstick, ...

you almost completely died when Ori - sweet, sweet innocent Ori - gave you a tampon

how were you going to explain that to him later

luckily for you Bofur was the one to hold the inhaler in front of you, silently asking you if that was the thing you wanted

you grabbed it with both hands and took a small breath, trying to inhale as much as you could without hurting yourself

the second time it went a lot better and you could inhale properly

now you had some explaining to do

14 pairs of eyes looking at you in concern or suspicion, depending on who it was

so you told them about your asthma and what triggers attacks

enter protective dwarves 2.0 - because we all know how protective they would be of you from the get go

now it had doubled

piggy back rides as soon as they heard you wheezing

“Don’t worry about it, you’re as light as a feather”

no more smoking around you

imagine the total panic when your inhaler runs out

(seriously those things run out at the worst possible times)

but Gandalf does what Gandalf does best

and no, it’s not disappearing at times when you need him most

or putting the fate of Middle Earth in the hands of a Hobbit - twice

he mutters a spell and your inhaler has infinite amount of medicine in it

never runs out

don’t tell the NHS

most importantly: they don’t treat you any differently

but what did you expect?

I always forget how much fun I have writing headcanons. I should do them more, right?

#The Hobbit headcanons #company of thorin oakenshield #The Hobbit x reader #The company x reader #The Hobbit #The Hobbit imagine

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hlupdate · 4 years

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Here he comes, one of the planet’s most conspicuous young men, stepping out of the London drizzle and into a dusty suburban pub. If there was an old vinyl record player in the place it would scratch quiet. Instead, the two-dozen punters turn hushed and intent, as if a unicorn has just trotted in off the street, and nobody wants to scare it off. “That’s frickin’ Harry frickin’ Styles,” whispers a young man at the bar, “in this pub.” The pop star is asked what he wants to drink and in a voice already inclined to undertones, quietly orders a cup of tea.

A former teen star who is now 25, a happier and rockier solo artist since his boyband One Direction split a few years ago, Styles has hidden himself inside a large, swamp-green parka. He’s tall, around the 6ft mark, and carries himself with a slight stoop. If Styles could only do something about his appearance from the neck up (elfin brow, wide Joker smile, a face that’s recognisable across multiple continents) you sense he could drink in pubs like this anonymously enough. As it is, cover blown, he removes the parka. A woolly jumper beneath has a picture of the planet Saturn on it. Maybe they’ve heard of Styles there, too.

We take a seat in the corner. On nearby tables, conversations start to sputter as people try to keep their own talk ticking along on autopilot while straining to hear what Styles says. I ask him about the sheer strangeness of this and other aspects of fame. Full stadiums, swooning admirers, an excess of opportunity and cash. Why isn’t Styles an absolute ordeal of a human being by now? Keith Richards, at a comparable stage, imagined himself the pirate leader of a travelling nation-state, unbound by international law. Elton John was on vast amounts of cocaine. Meanwhile, here’s Harry, known in the music industry as a bit of a freak, medically, having maintained abnormally high levels of civility in his system.

Styles tilts his head, flattered. There are others, he promises. “People who are successful, and still nice. It’s when you meet the people who are successful and aren’t nice, you think: What’s yer excuse? Cos I’ve met the other sort.”

Styles read Keith Richards’ autobiography a while back, and he recently finished Elton’s, too. (“Soooo much cocaine,” he marvels.) We talk for a bit about whether extreme dissolute behaviour and artistic greatness go hand in hand. Styles, who has just released his second solo album, Fine Line, the penultimate track of which is called Treat People With Kindness, has to hope not. “I just don’t think you need to be a dick to be a good artist. But, then, there are also a lot of good artists who are dicks. So. Hmm. Maybe I need to start scaring babies in supermarkets?”

A couple of lads hustle over to offer drinks. A photo is requested; they say they’ll wait. I’m weirdly anxious about Styles’s phone, which is slung on the table in front of him. What must be the black-market value of that thing? If fans were to get hold of it, would they want to open Styles’s music app first, to listen to tracks from the new album, or rush to see his messages and calls, to find out who Styles has been flirting with late at night? The interest in his music has always run at a ratio of about 50/50 with the interest in who he is dating.

It’s a ratio Styles tries to adjust in favour of the music by being vague about his ex-partners, real and rumoured (Taylor Swift, Kendall Jenner, Parisian model Camille Rowe), diverting to discuss his songs about failed relationships. A year ago, when Styles was floating around near this pub in north London, where he lives, and California, where he tends to record, looking for inspiration for the new album, his close friend Tom Hull told him: “Just date amazing women, or men, or whatever, who are going to fuck you up… Let it affect you and write songs about it.”

Styles, who writes in collaboration with Hull and producer Tyler Johnson, sounds as if he took the advice. The new album, Fine Line, is at its best when capturing late-hours moments, drunk calls, “wandering hands”, kitchen snogs. A golden-haired lover recurs. There are up tracks, down tracks, some with the trippy delirium of harpsichord-era Stones, others with the angsty Britpop swell of strings. While I listened, I couldn’t help scribbling down names, possible subjects. On the lyric “There’s a piece of you in how I dress” I wrote: maybe Kendall? In a song about a lover “way too bright for me”: surely Taylor.

Styles says he keeps to a general rule: write what comes and don’t think about it too much afterwards. The only time he worries about an individual lyric is if it risks putting an ex in a difficult position. “If a song’s about someone, is that fine? Or is that gonna get annoying for them, if people try to decipher it?” Has he ever got that judgment call wrong and taken a bollocking from an angry ex? Styles raises an eyebrow. “Maybe ask me in a month.”

I quiz him on something I’ve often wondered about. Why are the very famous so inclined to hook up with the very famous? From the outside it looks twice the hassle, with twice the odds of ending badly. “Don’t we all do that, though?” Styles asks. “Go into things that feel relatively doomed from the start?” I ask him why he doesn’t date normals. He seems tickled: “Um. I mean, I do. I have a private life. You just don’t know about it.”

Styles doesn’t particularly like being asked about his love life, but is amused all the same, as he is about most things. When I ask about the logistics of someone as well known as him dating someone anonymous (“Do you need to give them, like, some sort of primer?”), Styles snorts with laughter.

“Uh-h-h. Like any conversation, I guess, it’s easier if you’re honest. But I try to let it come up when it comes up. Cos that’s a weird thing to talk about, y’know? If you’ve just started seeing someone, and you’re, like: [he adopts a throaty, mission-briefing voice] So! This is what’s gonna happen!” Styles holds out his hands: no, ta. “I don’t wanna have that conversation, man. It would be fucking weird.”

And not very sexy, I say.

“Not sexy,” Styles says, “no.”

A quick aside about his accent, which is hard to capture in print. (“Nat sexy, no.”) After a workout in a hotel gym recently, Styles says he was taken aback (“taken abeck”) to be asked by a stranger whether he was speaking in a fake voice. He was appalled. But after so long crossing borders and time zones, living and working between England and the US, the accent has undergone a jazzy remix, and tends to get farthest from its Cheshire roots when he’s around strangers. Once Styles begins to get comfortable in the pub, the flatter, no-nonsense sounds of his youth return. Nowpe he says, for nope. Fook, for fuck.

“What the fook are they?” This was the response of his childhood pals, he remembers, back in the village of Holmes Chapel, when little Harry had the gumption to show up in the playground wearing Chelsea boots instead of the approved chunky trainers. Styles’s parents had separated when he was very young, but there is no origin-story trauma: he has always stayed close to both. His mother, Anne, would praise his singing voice in the car, and when Styles was 16 it was agreed he could audition for a singing contest on TV.

“The craziest part about the whole X Factor thing,” says Styles, who auditioned for the ITV reality show in 2010, “is that it’s so instant. The day before, you’ve never been on telly. Then suddenly…” Suddenly you’re a piece of national property. “You don’t think at the time, ‘Oh, maybe I should keep some of my personal stuff back for myself.’ Partly because, if you’re a 16-year-old who does that, you look like a jumped-up little shit. Can you imagine? ‘Sorry, actually, I’d rather not comment…’ You don’t know what to be protective of.”

By the winter of 2010, Styles was a fan favourite, a key member of One Direction, a five-piece that enjoyed enormous national exposure and gathered millions of fans before any music had been released. Cameras filmed every part of their rise. There wasn’t any time in the dark to practise, test things out, mentally brace. “We didn’t get to dip in a toe,” Styles says. “But, listen, I was a kid, all I knew was: I didn’t have to go to school any more. I thought it was fucking great.” He remembers having a lot of fun, and being well taken care of. He jokes: “Maybe it’s something I’ll have to deal with a bit later. When I wake up in my 40s and think: Arrrggh.”

In February 2012, One Direction were feted at the Brit Awards, hours before they were due to fly to the US for the first time. On TV that night they looked young, silly, chuffed – on the precipice of something huge, and with no clue at all. Their subsequent wonder-run (five platinum albums, four world tours) had its foundations in their ridiculous popularity in the States. Right away, Styles remembers, “We were fuelling a machine. Keeping the fire going.” He remembers it as a stimulating time; maybe overstimulating. “Coming out of it, when the band stopped, I realised that the thing I’d been missing, because it was all so fast paced, was human connection.”

I first met Styles in 2014, around the time the lack of human connection was starting to bite. One Direction were promoting their penultimate album and I’d been commissioned to write about themthe Guardian. Management felt the boys were so exhausted that my minutes in their presence had to be strictly counted. Inside a circle of cripplingly hot lights, while someone ran the stopwatch, we interacted as humanly as we could.

I remember how jaded the best singer in the group, Zayn Malik, seemed. (Malik was weeks away from quitting.) I also remember how flattered and bewildered the others were to be asked a few grownup questions – and not what Louis Tomlinson would later describe to me as “who’s-your-favourite-superhero… all that shit”. Styles was watchful and quiet that day. By total chance, a week later, we were in the same London cafe and he tapped my shoulder. He was having lunch with friends. “Will ya join us?”

t struck me as a quietly classy move. I was fascinated to see him interact with mates he’d chosen for himself. Styles was dry and funny, older than his years. After lunch we said the usual things about keeping in touch, and followed each other on Twitter. I kept an eye on his updates, about leaving One Direction, releasing an impressive, self-titled debut album in 2017, playing for 36,000 people in Madison Square Garden in New York, acting in Christopher Nolan’s Oscar-nominated war movie Dunkirk. Meanwhile, I did my best to manage the mess that had been made of my own account after Styles’s Twitter follow ignited a small explosion of teenage longing in my mentions. For at least a year I received weekly, sometimes daily, pleas from people who wanted messages conveyed to “H”. Still now, every few days, fans in America, Asia and Europe follow me to “see what H sees” in their timeline.

He has around 50 million social media followers, and with that comes the ability to ripple the internet like somebody airing a bedsheet. I’ve noticed, though, how rarely Styles directs people to support specific causes, last doing so in 2018, when he encouraged people to join a march against gun violence. Why don’t you use your influence more, I ask? “Because of dilution. Because I’d prefer, when I say something, for people to think I mean it.” He runs his fingertips across the table. “To be honest, I’m still searching for that one thing, y’know. Something I can really stand up for, and get behind, and be like: This Is My Life Fight. There’s a power to doing the one thing. You want your whole weight behind it.”

It’s one of the things that sets Styles apart, the way he puts his whole weight behind the different aspects of this strange job. If you watch footage of him as a guest host on Saturday Night Live last month, Styles plunges in, fully inhabiting the silliness of every sketch. He has good songs in his repertoire (2017’s ballad Sign Of The Times stands out), and would probably admit to some middling songs that attest to his relative inexperience as a writer. But whichever of his songs Styles performs, he goes all-in, trusting that his zest and energy will hold an audience’s attention. He approaches this interview in roughly the same spirit, not enjoying every question, fidgeting, pleading for clemency once or twice, but giving everything due consideration.

I bring up something Styles joked about earlier: the possibility of waking up in his 40s with deferred mental health problems.

“Mm,” he says

Have you thought about therapy, I ask, to get ahead of that?

“I go,” he says. “Not every week. But whenever I feel I need it. For a really long time I didn’t try therapy, because I wanted to be the guy who could say: ‘I don’t need it.’ Now I realise I was only getting in my own way.” He shrugs. “It helps.”

Lately he’s been reading a lot (Lisa Taddeo’s Three Women stood out). He’s watched a lot of Netflix (crime thrillers and music docs). He recently cried through Slave Play on Broadway. I sense in Styles, at 25, a pent-up undergraduate hunger, maybe a desire to make up for lost time. “I’ve definitely been wanting to learn stuff, try stuff,” he says. “Things I didn’t grow up around. Things I’d always been a little bit sceptical about. Like therapy, like meditation. All I need to hear is someone saying, ‘Apparently, it’s amazing’, and I’ll try it. When I was in Los Angeles once, I heard about juice cleanses. I thought, yeah, I’ll do a juice cleanse.”

How messy were the results?

“You mean…?” Styles raises an eyebrow, recalling the poos. “They were all right. I was just hungry. And bored.”

One notable feature of Styles’s solo career has been his headlong embrace of unconventional clothing. A 2017-18 tour could have been sponsored by the Dulux colour wheel: mustard tones in Sydney, shocking pink in Dallas. In a more serious sense, some of Styles’s choices have fed into an important political discussion about gendered fashion. In May, as a co-host at the Met Gala in New York, he stepped out in a sheer blouse and a pearl earring. One evening’s work challenged a lot of stubborn preconceptions about who gets to wear what.

He says: “What women wear. What men wear. For me it’s not a question of that. If I see a nice shirt and get told, ‘But it’s for ladies.’ I think: ‘Okaaaay? Doesn’t make me want to wear it less though.’ I think the moment you feel more comfortable with yourself, it all becomes a lot easier.”

What do you mean, I ask?

Styles is leaning forward, hands folded around his cup of tea. “A part of it was having, like, a big moment of self-reflection. And self-acceptance.” He has a habit, when he’s made a definitive statement, of raising his chin and nodding a little, as if to decide whether he still agrees with himself. “I think it’s a very free, and freeing, time. I think people are asking, ‘Why not?’ a lot more. Which excites me. It’s not just clothes where lines have been blurred, it’s going across so many things. I think you can relate it to music, and how genres are blurring…”

Sexuality, too, I say.

“Yep,” says Styles. “Yep.”

There’s a popular perception, I say, that you don’t define as straight. The lyrics to your songs, the clothes you choose to wear, even the sleeve of your new record – all of these things get picked apart for clues that you’re bisexual. Has anyone ever asked you though?

“Um. I guess I haaaaave been asked? But, I dunno. Why?”

You mean, why ask the question?

“Yeah, I think I do mean that. It’s not like I’m sitting on an answer, and protecting it, and holding it back. It’s not a case of: I’m not telling you cos I don’t want to tell you. It’s not: ooh this is mine and it’s not yours.”

What is it then?

“It’s: who cares? Does that make sense? It’s just: who cares?”

I suppose my only question, then, is about the stuff that looks like clue dropping. Because if you don’t want people to care, why hint? Take the album sleeve for Fine Line. With its horizontal pink and blue stripes, a splash of magenta, the design seems to gesture at the trans and bisexual pride flags. Which is great – unless the person behind it happens to be a straight dude, sprinkling LGBTQ crumbs that lead nowhere. Does that make sense?

Styles nods. “Am I sprinkling in nuggets of sexual ambiguity to try and be more interesting? No.” As for the rest, he says, “in terms of how I wanna dress, and what the album sleeve’s gonna be, I tend to make decisions in terms of collaborators I want to work with. I want things to look a certain way. Not because it makes me look gay, or it makes me look straight, or it makes me look bisexual, but because I think it looks cool. And more than that, I dunno, I just think sexuality’s something that’s fun. Honestly? I can’t say I’ve given it any more thought than that.”

In our musty corner of the pub we’ve somehow passed a couple of hours in intense discussion. We’ll lighten up, before Styles heads home, with some chat about clever films (Marriage Story), stupider viral videos (the little boy who’s just learned the word “apparently”), that favourite-superhero stuff that, after all, has its place. He talks about the curious double time scheme of a pop star’s life – those crammed 18-hour days and then the sudden empty off-time when Styles might find himself walking miles across London to buy a book, afterwards congratulating himself: “Well, that’s an hour filled.”

Before we stand up I ask if he’s minded any of my questions.

He pushes out his lips, possibly recalling them one by one, then shakes his head. “What I would say, about the whole being-asked-about-my-sexuality thing – this is a job where you might get asked. And to complain about it, to say you hate it, and still do the job, that’s just silly. You respect that someone’s gonna ask. And you hope that they respect they might not get an answer.”

I tell him I do.

“Cool.”

Styles has to find those lads who wanted a photo. He scoops his phone off the table and flicks his thumb around the screen. Lately, he says, when he messes around on his phone in an idle moment, it’s mostly to look at videos – clips that his friends have sent him, in which their kids sing along to music he’s made. “Never gets old,” Styles says, beaming.

A few years ago, when he emerged from the boyband, blinking, shattered, he set himself three tasks: prioritise friends, learn how to be an adult, achieve a proper balance between the big and the small. Full stadiums, provocative outfits – Styles genuinely loves these things. “But I guess I’ve realised, as well,” he says, “that the coolest things are not always the cool things. Do you know what I mean?” He grabs his parka and his phone and, a little stooped, heads for home.

#harry styles #the guardian #stunt mention #131219

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xtinaboomgirl · 4 years

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Rant time.

I had a weird feeling in my throat around this time last year. Kind of like when you get a hair caught back there, except nothing made it go away and it had been going on for days now.

I call up my doctor, give my symptoms to the receptionist - as is required - to be told there’s a cold going around at the minute, best not to waste the doctors time. I tried to explain my throat wasn’t sore, it felt like something was stuck there. Again, it’s just a cold, let’s not bother doctor.

So I don’t, stupid I know, but we’re so conditioned not to fight back against these people. The days go on, the feeling gets worse. I’m aware of the sensation every minute of the day, I keep swallowing to try and make it go away, I feel like I’m going to choke every time I eat something.

I call the doctor back, I mention I’m barely eating and have no other cold/flu/virus symptoms. They give me an appointment for the following week. It continues to get worse until I start vomiting bile every single time I try to eat solid foods and I have this awful tightness right through my chest.

I make it to the doctor, he looks at my throat using the light on his phone. He has a brief feel of my glands. He assures me it’s a virus and recommends manuka honey - but not the cheap stuff - and I’ll feel better in about three weeks. I tell him it’s already been nearly three weeks, he’s already typing my notes up and tells me to get back in touch if things don’t get better. I try to argue this time, tell him I’ve done my own research, tell him I think it’s linked to a prior stomach condition I had (which, if I was correct, also would have given me a diagnosis for said stomach condition 12 years after it first appeared), but no, google isn’t a doctor and if I had said condition, one of the many specialists I saw would have diagnosed it.

Come back in three weeks.

I cried during those three weeks, convincing myself I was dying or had some untreatable condition, my self diagnosis now long forgotten. My swallow reflex was now completely wrong, I had to think about it every time I did, which was now in complete excess of normal. I had started to feel some discomfort on top of the sensation, nothing quite like pain, but definitely not right.

Three weeks end, and I go back to the doctor.

He agrees, finally, this probably isn’t viral. I run him back through my symptoms, my history, a last ditch hope at it being an easy fix. This time he listens, actually gives me more than a ten second exam and he agrees I could be right. He still wants to run a blood test to rule out cancer, but he’ll prescribe me the medication for laryngopharyngeal reflux.

My joy at a potential diagnosis went out the window, until those blood tests came back all I could then think was cancer. I had a huge panic attack, pulse over 150, I felt like I was actually going to die. Not long after I developed a severe eye twitch, just playing into my fears even more that this wasn’t what I thought it was, especially since the medication hadn’t done anything yet.

My blood tests come back, the doctor doesn’t call, the receptionist does. Good news, everything is normal except my folate levels. I knew nothing about folate, my only reference for it was knowing it was something pregnant people need. She couldn’t give me any further information other than to buy supplements, the doctor wasn’t available.

Slowly but surely, my throat started to improve. As it turns out, my oesophagus had been clamping shut to deal with the ridiculous amount of acid my stomach was producing. This meant that the acid that did escape slowly made a path up my vocal cords, inflaming them. (God bless forums) The eye twitch, however, did not go away quite as easily. That lasted for almost three months and I’ve since discovered it’s my fun new thing that happens when I’m overly stressed.

So my throat feels better and my eye twitch is gone, back to normal, right?

Wrong.

I lived for months with something that made every day a mental drain for me. A constant knowing that something didn’t feel right. That doesn’t go away even when the symptoms have. I felt the constant need to check everything felt normal because now, being normal was abnormal to my brain, it didn’t remember normal quite as well as it would have liked.

This made me more nervous than usual, more agitated. My heart rate slowly crept up, I felt like I was heading for another panic attack, my usual mental fortitude was gone. My doctor didn’t have any appointments, advised me to go to a pharmacy and get my blood pressure taken. There I met an angel of a woman.

My blood pressure was fine, but my pulse was 140. She asked me why that was. I felt ridiculous telling her about my newfound health anxiety, but she urged me on, locking the door for privacy. They were 20 minutes from close but she sat with me for nearly 40 minutes, listening to the story I’ve told you from start to finish.

She told me she has health anxiety as well, that I wasn’t being weird or overreacting. She said she sees more and more women with the same issue. Doctors don’t listen to us, they let things get worse before they make an effort to get them better. She took my pulse again at the end, it was 88. She gave me some more advice, some techniques that could help.

We’re now a year on from the start and I’m starting to feel better. Most days I only think about my throat once or twice and it’s a passing thing. The eye twitch comes and goes, usually only lasting a couple of days now and twitching much less than it had. The anxiety is better, I’m getting it under control, sometimes my heart still races a little and my mind can run off, but it’s a work in progress.

The point of this is, that this story didn’t start last year at all really. It started when I was 16 and went to my doctor then with a strange, intermittent stomach pain that had no pattern. My tests for stomach ulcers came back negative, when I had my organs looked at with an ultrasound they appeared normal, when I was almost admitted for intestinal bleeding they couldn’t figure out why, when I had two inconclusive endoscopies, no one thought to look any further. A GI specialist told me two years later at 18 that I was probably looking at a lifetime of medication if they diagnosed me, but I didn’t get a diagnosis. I got “we don’t know what’s wrong” and nothing more.

I didn’t get a diagnosis of LPR because I was considered too young, even though that’s what my symptoms pointed to. I don’t need a lifetime of medication, just a round of tablets if and when I have a flare up (and peppermint tea helps too!). If my doctor had listened to me a year ago, if someone had taken age out of the equation 12 years ago, I wouldn’t have gone through the trouble I have this past year.

I realise my condition, my story, isn’t as bad as what some of you have been through, but I saw myself change, I felt my mental health crumble. We need to stand up for ourselves, advocate. Take someone with you if you don’t feel comfortable, give them a list of what you want to ask the doctor, ( advice from my pharmacy angel) even if it’s just so you don’t forget. Don’t let them make you a statistic.

#rant #lockdown rant #personal #medical #tw anxiety #anxiety

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vinku-iikku · 5 years

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Yay I finally finished 2018 inktober! If you want to just scroll through them all please go here, and if you want to see some comments on each please look under the cut.

Day 01 Flowey and Overgrown Ruins This prompt I picked as is because as far as I remember Flowey stayed behind when the monsters left. If you can’t find him, he’s near the big root on the left. All other days the second prompt got randomised by a die (except when I reached the last two).

Day 02 Grillby and Exotic Flora Grillby’s on a journey to look at all the flowers that aren’t living in a wet environment. Maybe he’ll make some wine from the non-poisonous ones.

Day 03 Chara and Cave Entrance They are still curious about morbid things and places that could be portentially dangerous, practically running at danger.

Day 04 Undyne and Astral Plains/Dreamland Welp I’d rather have had her with some other prompt, but now she has an anime showdown/faceoff with a mean monster that harasses a moldsmal.

Day 05 Asgore and Rocky Ruins Asgore had a trip down memory lane and visited the place where their castle used to be, before the war. Not much is left any more.

Day 06 Frisk and Ancient Tree They are still precariously looking for adventure. I saw this article about a 800 year-old Finnish tree, as soon as I saw that top I wanted to climb that, looks like a perfect spot to see everything around you and chill for a bit.

Day 07 Temmie and Nature Untouched I did some research in a nearby forest for this one, the sales-Temmie has made a nest in a tree that has fallen down in a storm. The soil is shallow before solid rock so trees have their roots mostly close to the surface, when they fall the roots go up as well. Temmie on the left is sitting on an ant nest lol. There are seven Temmies in total.

Day 08 Muffet and Crystal Coves Crystal Coves is either a place where crystal business is the main employer, a cove that has crystals, or a cove with crystal clear water, I think. I tried to implement them all just to make sure. Muffet has now made a business in making spider-products with glass expertise.

Day 09 Fuku Fire and Freezing Fjord Finally back to the ‘monsters travelling’ theme, Fuku is taking a longer trip and is currently on a boat by Norway.

Day 10 Gaster Blasters and Townsquare The blasters are on their own for whatever convenient reason, Pap’s one is figuring how things work by destroying them, Sans’ is... playing with local children. :D The fountain is loosely based on Havis Amanda.

Day 11 Nice Cream Guy & Shanty Town He’s travelling the world and selling nice cream! Definitely inspired by Beadle in BotW.

Day 12 Mettaton EX & Cemetery This combination took me a moment, Mettaton is a bit loud and showy for a cemetery. Then I remembered that Napstablook said they’re already dead when you try to kill them, so here Mettaton’s visiting haunted places and telling everyone about this wonderful body he got and where to get one if you’re interested in becoming physical again. I worked in a cemetery for one summer years ago, felt weird pulling those visual memories to this...

Day 13 Toriel & Hall of Deities In order to become a teacher I’d imagine she’d have to brush up her knowledge on lots of things that’ve happened on the surface, and here she’s in a secret underground place with some sacred scriptures or something, she reads them and writes down notes and then returns the scrolls.

Day 14 Annoying Dog & Volcanic Terrain Another weird combination, but eh, it’s the dog. It’s feeding bones to the vulkins and admiring danger up close.

Day 15 Monster Kid & Path Along the Water I made a huge area with different textures so I could try learn something new by scribbling around, and I’m really happy how the boulders on top of the waterfall and the water itself look like.

Day 16 Doggo & Ancient Altar Room Took a moment to come up with an idea, then I read Doggo likes squirrels. So now he’s travelling the world too, and he always has time and seeds for any squirrel population he discovers.

Day 17 Alphys & Summoning Altar I thought I’d not be drawing Mew Mew, but here was a perfect opportunity for that! Alphys isn’t travelling, but discovering new things in her home, humans have such interesting books! All of the Japanese text mean something; the bowl has the kanji for ’love’, books under it are Mew Mew manga, there’s two yury books, a reference to Free!, Digimon, Pokémon, Rose of Versailles, Natsume Book of Friends... and it’s fine if you don’t get the one that says ‘corn’.

Day 18 Photoshop Flowey & Windmills and Grasslands I think the modern wind generators look super cool. I tried to make Flowey as cute as possible so he’d be more fun to draw there, this is some dream stuff or alternate universe since Flowey did stay behind.

Day 19 Papyrus & Desserted Drylands I’m pretty sure that’s an accidental typo, but since it was Papyrus I wanted to roll with the new pun meaning. First thought was Papyrus somehow being in the drylands and dropping a huge cake, thus ’desserting’ it, but that would’ve been a bit mean. This cake is made with 100% organic sand (some of which he ground himself when grooming Rocky), the tiny cow ornaments are modified mouse skeletons. :) The chef hat would be straight but there wasn’t enough room on the page of the notebook I draw these on... I remembered he had a triangle on the battle armor, but didn’t remember what way it points so avoided it by replacing it with a heart. :D

Day 20 Sans & By the Beach Sans is getting some more sand for Papyrus with his shortcut, then he took a nap unfortunately close to the tide..? The shore felt a bit bare so I added some animals to keep him company. I h/c that animals don’t mind having monsters around unlike how they usually try to run away when a human is near.

Day 21 Shyren & Buried Statue(s) She’s doing that Disney princess thing where you sit down and start singing and all small animals within hearing range come to listen.

Day 22 Asriel & Underwater Temple Another dream thing since Flowey stayed behind, this is how he imagines the oceans look like outside.

Day 23 Lesser Dog & Market Place Some people have to learn the hard way to not trust a dog that has opposable thumbs.

Day 24 Box Mettaton & Merchant’s Store Any website run by a popular monster must get an insane amount of curious folk, which leads to ad revenue being a good way to fund the next tour. There’s some.. insider jokes there if you’re in any kind of website business.

Day 25 Rocky the pet rock & Eldritch Forest I don’t actually know what the latter means, looking at Google images it’s probably just a forest that’s very dark or something. Wanted to try a different perspective for a change. Rocky has a bowl of food there but I can’t really think of any non-sad reason for why it’s in this forest.

Day 26 Froggit & Inn in th Middle of Nowhere Had to take a break for one day, regardless I’m proud of myself on being consistent this far despite everything going on. I first only had the top Froggit and the bg in the sketch, and didn’t like how it looked. Somehow adding more Froggits made it look a lot better to me...

Day 27 Burgerpants & By the Docs Birsd with human arms and birds sitting like humans will never not be hilarious to me.

Day 28 Bratty and Catty & Deep in the Woods Tried to play with perspective with this one, it’s kind of the opposite of the Rocky drawing.

Day 29 God of Hyperdeath & Idle Portal I had a hard time coming up with anything for this, so now poor goat is somewhere in a completely white dimention and the only way out is not active, though he’s quite chill about it.

Day 30 Amalgamate & Abnormal Formations This and last one’s world I didn’t leave for the die to decide, I really wanted to do Tetris with Napstablook and out of the two still left this prompt suits Endogeny more anyway. There’s a forest in Poland where several of the trees bend to north like this.

Day 31 Napstablook & Puzzling Platforms Only one I did during morning, my hands shake more then so all the lines are more or less wobbly. Every Tetris piece has it’s own signature design except the L-shape which is just blank to keep it interesting. Napstablook is enjoying game music while inside the game, maybe ghosts can possess videogames..? This also shows the notebook I drew all of these in and the tools I used most of the time.

It’s hard to tell if I’ve improved at all when comparing these to 2017 inktober, I haven’t draw regularly through the year and the main focus point this time was on backgrounds and not so much on lines and characters. I did learn new things and that’s always exiting, I think my trees, glass and rocks look way better than before I started, and I did some progress in shading metal too. All of these took 3 hours or less to finish, some only took an hour. I didn’t need to erase pencils like last year because I used a trick where I placed the sketch under the notebook page and my tablet with 100% brightness and a white bg under them, and traced that with ink. The notebook paper is pretty thin, you can see the Amalgamate drawing’s clouds showing through in the Napstablook photo. Anyway, this was fun, and I think I’ll try do it next year too!

#myart

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bloojayoolie · 5 years

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Being Alone, Animals, and Apparently: Big hearted "Barbie Happy-go lucky social Sweetheart. Cuddly, playful & totally endearing! ID 58945, 4 YRS. 58 LBS. OF JOY SPAYED MANHATTAN ACC TO BE KILLED – 8/24/2019 Social, sunny, and incredibly sweet, Barbie is a wiggly bundle of love who has a big smile and a wagging tail for everyone she meets. Yes, she give you the welcome “bark” because she is full of enthusiasm, but we forgive her because in her face is nothing but joy and happiness at the opportunity to make a new friend. She was adopted in April but sadly she was returned in August, and simply because it was a poor adoption – she was not in the hands of the experienced foster or adopter that she needed. She’s so eager to please and eager to learn, and has a heart of pure gold. As a volunteer writes: “She's a Barbie girl in a barbie world! And she thinks life is fantastic! This happy go lucky pup just enjoys the company of her human peers. She enjoys a fun game a fetch and then sitting and leaning in closely next to her friends, a lovable pup she sure is. Barbie is the kind of dog to make you smile ear to ear, she is the dog I go to when I need some extra sunshine. I enjoy her bounces and hops when shes playing out in the yard. Barbie can bit talkative as well, she will let you know when she wants you to throw her ball, pet her and treat her all by letting out some "woofs!". A not so great habit she has but I can help but admit how endearing it can be.... We love everything about Barbie and think you will too once you meet this sweet little peach! Share big hearted Barbie far and wide for her perfect family.” If you can foster or adopt her yourself, just MESSAGE our page or email us at [email protected] for assistance. BARBIE, ID# 58945, 4 Yrs. old, 58.2 lbs., Spayed Female Manhattan ACC, Large Mixed Breed, White / Brown I came to the shelter as an Agency, 8/8/2019 Shelter Assessment Rating: New Hope Rescue Only Medical Behavior Rating: 2. Blue AT RISK MEMO: Barbie is at risk for behavioral reasons. Barbie has a bite history and has displayed dog reactivity with the potential to redirect onto people. Barbie would be best suited for placement with a new hope partner that can provide the necessary behavior modification. Medically, Barbie seems healthy. INTAKE NOTE – DATE OF INTAKE, 4/2/2019: Barbie hard barked in the lobby but looked to have a loose body. While barking, Barbie wagged her tail and allowed for counselors to approch her and walk her on the leash. Barbie was handled by her owner to be placed into a kennel. OWNER SURRENDER NOTES – BASIC INFORMATION: Barbie is an unaltered female large mixed breed, estimated to be 3 years old. Barbie was surrendered due to her food aggression and aggressive behaviors. Barbie lived with an adult, 3 children and 1 large dog. Barbie will bark at strangers. She is playful with the 7, 12 and 16 year old children in the home. Barbie lives with a unaltered male estimated to be 9 years old that she consistently fights with. Fights usually occurs during feeding and sometimes it escalates when they play. There were no cats in her previous home so Barbie’s behavior around cats is unknown. Barbie will bark, growl, and may bite when a stranger or owner tries to touch the food while eating. Barbie is housetrained and has a medium energy level. Other Notes: Barbie will not stay still during baths and does not enjoy being groomed. She has never had a medical issue, and has no known medical concerns. For a New Family to Know: Barbie is kept indoors and enjoys sleeping anywhere in the home. Barbie was fed dog food and house food 3-4 times a day. Barbie enjoys all types of toys and rips the furniture. Barbie enjoys using the bathroom in the owners back yard and was not taken out for walks. Bite history:: Yes, Barbie has gotten into several fights with the other dog in the home and they have bitten each other. The most recent fight occurred when the owner was preparing for the dogs. Barbie bit the other dog and her owner when the owner was attempting to break up the fight. The bite to the owner resulted in broken skin on her leg. Barbie bit her owner on the left arm, breaking skin. The circumstances of this bite are not known. Barbie bit the neighbor's dog. The circumstances and severity of this bite are not known. SHELTER ASSESSMENT SUMMARIES – DATE OF ASSESSMENT: 4/10/2019 Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Moderate Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: Moderate Leash walking comments: Barks at dogs with soft body Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Highly social Call over: Approaches readily Sociability comments: Body soft, stays by assessor, jumps up when approaches Handling Soft handling: Seeks contact Exuberant handling: Seeks contact Comments: Body soft, leans into pets Arousal Jog: Engages in play (loose) Arousal comments: None Knock: Approaches (loose) Knock Comments: None Toy: No response Toy comments: None INTAKE BEHAVIOR - Date of intake:: 4/2/2019 Summary:: Loose body, barking ENERGY LEVEL:: Barbie is described as having a medium level of activity. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to resource guarding displayed in her previous home (growling and snapping when her food is touched), and her bite history, we recommend an adult only home. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to having bitten the other dog in the home multiple times and potentially redirecting towards people, as well as biting her owner under unknown circumstances, we recommend she be placed with a New Hope placement partner who is able to provide an experienced adult-only foster home. A period of decompression is recommended to allow Barbie to acclimate comfortably to her new environment; force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing Barbie to new and unfamiliar situations. Consultation with a professional trainer/behaviorist is highly recommended for guidance to safely manage/modify any behavior Barbie presents with outside of the care centers. Potential challenges: : Resource guarding,Multiple-bite history/risk of future aggression,On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration,Bite history (human),Bite history (dog) Potential challenges comments:: Resource guarding: Babrie is reported to growl and snap if her food is touched. She should always be left alone while eating. Please see handout on Resource Guarding. Multiple-bite history/risk of future aggression: Barbie has bitten multiple times in her previous home, having gotten into multiple fights with the other dog in the home and having bitten the owner when the owner was breaking up the fight. She has also bitten the neighbor's dog and her owner under unknown circumstances. Barbie should live in a home without other animals. These bite have broken skin. Please see handout on Bite History. On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration: Barbie has been observed to react to other dogs on leash, barking at them. Please see handout on On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration. MEDICAL NOTES 4/3/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 2-3 YEARS based on condition of teeth Microchip noted on Intake?no Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : Owner surrender; did not get along with the other dog in the household Subjective: tense body; eyeing the handler Observed Behavior - sedated for physical exam Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective sedation- butorph.- 1 ml and dexdorm.- 0.9ml IM P = 40 R = 30 BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes= left scleral bruising dorsal aspect of orbit; ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted; multifocal crusts and scars on face Oral Exam: mild staining and tartar PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: FS based on the absence of an OHE scar MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation sedated Assessment apparently healthy scars on face-- old wounds Prognosis: good Plan: sedate for examination intake procedures SURGERY: Okay for surgery after DOH Hold 4/7/2019 Requesting Trazadone Treatment for 58.1 lb dog Trazadone- 100mg SIG:1 1/4 tab po q 12 hrs 4/13/2019 ACS reported bloody stool. She took a picture and there was some firm stool followed by diarrhea with a significant amount of frank blood noted. No vomiting noted. Eating well today but yesterday low appetite. BAR in kennel, barking No v/d in run No c/s, nasal or ocular discharge noted She appears to have good energy A:Hematochezia Hx of fracture tooth P: -Start Fortiflora 1 packet in food SID x 5 days -Start metronidazole 500 mg PO BID x 5 days -Good prognosis 4/23/2019 Subjective barking and jumping at front of kennel - performed visual examination due to orange-red behavior Objective R = 20 BCS = 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted PLN: No enlargements noted U/G: intact MSI: Ambulatory x 4, CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: externally normal Assessment - healthy SURGERY: Okay for surgery 4/23/2019 Routine OVH: Ventral midline incision approach; each ovarian pedicle ligated with two modified Miller’s knot using 0-0 PDS II and excised distal to ligature; uterine body ligated with two modified-Miller's knot and simple encircling ligature using 0-0 PDS II and excised distal to ligatures; body wall closed with simple cont. pattern using 0 PDS II; subcutaneous/intradermal layers closed with continuous pattern using 0-0 PDS II; green-ink tattoo placed lateral to spay incision; surgical glue applied to skin incision and over tattoo site to assist with closure 8/12/2019 DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: ~4.5yrs based on hx. Microchip noted on Intake? scanned positive. History: O surrender. P bit o and drew blood, also bit another dog. Subjective / Observed Behavior - Hard barking at kennel front. Evidence of Cruelty seen - none Evidence of Trauma seen - crusts and old scarring along the right lateral face. Objective BCS 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: did not evaluate due to behavior. PLN: No enlargements noted ABD: WNL U/G: spayed female. MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat. multifocal crusting along the right lateral face, scars along the right lateral face and ventral neck. wounds appear to be ~10-14 days in age. CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities. P is not showing any sign of rabies infection at this time. Rectal: externally normal. Assessment multifocal crusting and scars on face overweight Prognosis: good Plan: observe DOH hold SURGERY: spayed *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** BARBIE IS RESCUE ONLY. You must fill out applications with New Hope Rescues to foster or adopt her. She cannot be reserved online at the ACC ARL, nor can she be direct adopted at the shelter. PLEASE HURRY AND MESSAGE OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE!

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Being Alone #Animals

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bloojayoolie · 5 years

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#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Being Alone #Animals

0 notes