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shitpostingsystem · 5 months

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bsd ramblings (season 3 and 4)

“is there really any value to this thing we call living?” dazai’s a mood

KID DAZAI AND CHUUYA OMFGOMFG

“what kind of suicidal punk are you” — chuuya to his future husband

omg i love the sillies

mori sounds like the kurzgesagt dude ngl

THEY HATE EACH OTHER OMG THEYRE SO IN LOVE

THE B A N T E R

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

chuuya being a shortie is so fun. “i’m still growing” growing my ass just kiss dazai already

THE ODA PARALLELS AAAAAAAAAAAAA

dazai you autistic motherfucker

chuuya being a gang leader is fun

dazai is my silly

wait so chuuya’s technically 7 years younger than he actually is?

gravity boi x suicidal manic, my favorite ship dynamic

THE BABIS ARE SKKING THE BABIS ARE SKKING THEYRE DOUBLE BLACK WKEHRUEHUFUEBDHDHSBEH

when are dazai and chuuya gonna kiss dammit

THE SILLIES ARE BANTERING JEUDHWHSUHE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

WHY IS DOSTOYEVSKY SO FINE

dostoyevsky is so silly

i am in dire need of more pm dazai. i need it all. i need more. i crave my husband’s past life. i need to see him and chuuya kiss while wiping out their enemies.

i can’t wait to write fanfic once i finish this show. i don’t wanna screw up anything canon wise so i’ll wait. i’ll watch all of the show plus the spin-off to get all the dazai i can. i’ve already pirated the movie, nothing can stop me now.

dazai is a slut and i love him for it. this is actually canon (at least during his pm years he was)

dazai x kunikida x chuuya

kyouka is my child, i love her so much

I HATE FANSERVICE. I THOUGHT BSD WOULD BE THE GOOD ANIME WITHOUT IT

KYOUKA MY BABY IM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS I LOVE HERRRRR

power of money?? real american o7 yeehaw capitalism

bro just walked into someone’s home, sat down, and started laughing

“black daniels” HEY THATS JACK DANIELS

“hey poe!! it’s so nice to see you!!” JUST KISS ALREADY YOU TWO

the random ass fish-eye cuts in this show 😭😭

“OBJECTION!!” what is this, ace attorney???

i love how the superhumans are called gifteds, implying they’ve taken at least one honors/ap course. by that logic, i’m extra gifted (im in honors history and english)

i haven’t seen dazai in a while wtf. where’s my husband?? i’ve barely seen kunikida, let alone chuuya. ok he’s here rn, prob won’t be for long

ok but seriously mori is a pedo. elise is getting used even though she’s a fucking brat who gets what she wants

oh shit they got blew up

nvm

DID AKUTAGAWA JUST NARUTO RUN

oh shit i forgot the catholic existed. puritan, whatever. same difference, both are culty at times

FUCK MORI. THAT FUCKING PEDO.

i think what i love about bsd is that the characters are complex. dazai can be considered a serial killer and definitely bad mentor to akutagawa but an amazing mentor to atsushi and is my husband

i love dostoyevsky’s english va. they did such an amazing job. 100/10 russian accent

MY HUSBAND GOT SHOT OMGOMGOMG MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYY

HI CHUUYA I MISSED YOU. AKUTAGAWA TOO HI HELLO

RANPO <33 MY SILLY GETTING SERIOUS OOOOOO

HI KENJI IT’S BEEN SO LONG I HAVENT SEEN YOU

CHUUYA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

virus cannibalism my favorite /j

kunikida has tear gas powers? what is he, a cop???

oh noooo a kid got shotttttt how terribleeeeee /s

THE SAD AF MUSIC I CANT WHY IS THERE A CELLO HERE

oh that’s why, dostoyevsky has one

I LOVE GIN <33

kenji the silly!!

“aren’t you the one who lost to dazai?” RANPO RUBBING THE WOUND IN DAMN

the music is autism frfr

KARL <333333

“if ranpo really were to die in that world though, what would i do with myself?” — edgar allen poe

katai’s dead? damn. rip ig

oh shit here’s the bowl cut lemon dude

the office girls are dating

damn fukuzawa and mori had a past together

WHY DOES NATSUME LOOK LIKE WALMART HITLER

dazai making his kids work together is gold

“what did you have for dinner last night?” “yes” GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

the classical music omg

“you’re quite the rough ride, yknow” that’s what she said

“enough, you’re not paying for this ride” that’s what she said

incel (katai) isn’t dead

i love how dazai is the mafia boss in a different timeline

akutagawa and atsushi are so down bad for each other omg

my native english speaking ass hears theodore instead of fyodor. i’m pretty sure it’s the same but different languages but still

dazai <3

ranpo <3

BAR LUPIN BAR LUPIN WJSBAJBSKWUSMSIMSJDBHSJSHSHS IM GONNA CRY

wait so season 4 is fukazawa focused? dammit i wanted more dazai

HI RANPO MY SCRUNGO HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI

i fucking love ranpo. the silly

he’s such a brat. good for him

IS THERE A CULT????? LOWKEY LOOKS LIKE CHRISTIANITY ON STEROIDS

oh it’s the play

“there something everyone else gets and i don’t get it” RANPO MY AUTISTIC SCRUNGO <33

ranpo my silly <33

honestly i keep forgetting they’re detectives

ranpo has adhd and autism

ranpo got fucking bitch slapped i love him

“as always, i have a hard time saying no to ranpo” ITS BECAUSE YOURE GAY POE

“but i got to see your rare, exasperated face so it was well worth the money!” poe you homosexual

“are you that detective’s fanboy or something?” “no i’m his rival!” how about boyfriend?

i fucking love ranpo omg

NIKOLAI IS SO SILLY

why can i handle anime gore but not irl organs omg

my gore levels are weird. organs and bodily fluids (beside blood) are a no-go but i can see a dead body no problem

when did atsushi become op

“a total of 625 charges…” MY BABY GETTING ARRESTED NOOO

GOD I FUCKING LOVE NIKOLAI

wait so the ada is a front? wtf??

i’m so confused wtf is going on

the decay of angels would be a cool ass band name

ok so moot says ada is innocent and shit like that. i trust them.

teruko is my child

everyone’s a shitty person i love them

HI CHUUYA OMG I MISSED YOU SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAA

why chuuya kinda 😳😳

kunikida has ocd (i’m not projecting wdymmm)

“i won’t let anyone mess up my schedule!” whole mood and a half there kunikida

WHY DOES THE FANDOM IGNORE KUNIKIDA BEING AN IDEALIST OMG

dazai <33333333333333333333

dazai and dostoyevsky are besties fuck you

“she’s so strong-willed! i love it!” MORI YOU PEDO

“Dazai is a good person SOMETIMES! But he’s also a criminal who has done fucked up shit! And he has a personality! He’s really smart! And lowkey manipulative to get what he wants! He’s not amazing!” my moot gets it!!

morally dubious characters <33

i love yosano so much

HI ANGO

i love lucy

sticking out your gyatt for the rizzlerrr you’re so skibidiiiiiiii you’re so fanum taxxxxxx i just wanna be your SIGMAAAAAAAAAAA

sigma is so silly. i love him

dazai is a weezer fan

chuuya is a nirvana fan

i’m terrible with names so i’m like “oh damn That Dude” both fictional and irl. like atsushi was Terrible Bang Traumatized Furry until i got his name

i don’t even read omegaverse but every time they say sigma i cringe

sigma has amnesia?? mood

bro’s a fictional character within a world of fictional characters

dostoyevsky <3333

sigma named himself??? nah don’t even he was born with an ao3 account

i don’t know shit about cosmetology but if i got ahold of sigma i would fix his hair

oh hey catholic scarlet letter man

if my beautician aunt saw atsushi and sigma she would take them out of the show, fix their hair, beat them up, and put them back as changed men

I LOVE DAZAI OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHEN HIS VOICE GETS SUPER LOW AND AKENSISBIZHWHXHWBZUWBZIBQIXHWNXHD

WHERE THE HELL IS CHUUYA OMFG

#bsd #shitpost

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furymint · 6 months

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2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections: 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

#ngl writing this out made me feel like #i reopened a lot of grief about my ability to work and create #and i need to walk away from it before i cry even more lol #thank u to my fc for still being the place #i love to visit when i wake up #even though all of us a struggling a lot #with life and ingame motivation #brianna babbles

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peacockrulz · 1 month

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dont say sorry we love the paragraphs!! tbh i cant stand a lot of md fanfics because of how they characterize uzi in particular, they just do not do her depth justice. and you're so right about the narration too. its so subtle but a lot of great fics go above and beyond to take narration from just describing the world to actually representing a characters perspective- literally and figuratively. hostile takeover is a masterclass in it tbh. its actually inspired me to try and get into writing for md because you need to be the content you want to see in the world ig- im starting with rp rn though because i find that to be the easiest way to get into a characters head, ya know? also your dollxn piece made me physically ill (positive). im shipping them now but exclusively in the way your fanart is framing it (also great song choice listening to it and staring at the art really sent me) - juzi anon

I think a good narration is like, an unspoken art when it comes to writing. I LOVE fics that make a point to have the characters thoughts be a part of the narration; It speaks volumes to how that person write the character themself and can even make for some really impactful dialog thats not even spoken. I think the biggest strength of Hostile Takeover (from the chapters I've read!) is its ability to make a character's narration show the subtle, unseen things about the characters themselves. (Which is why I love J's chapters so much, J puts up such a large persona that being able to read the thoughts she actually has is so!!! arugh!!!!!)

Also: I'm glad to see you taking an inspiration for writing, I've honestly thought many a time to force myself into writing fics just because theres so many ideas I have that I do not have the time or skill to illustrate lol. I actually started posting artwork because I wanted to see more fanart for my own rarepair!!! And I can understand the whole roleplaying thing (I haven't roleplayed canon characters since my.. *shudders* MMO days /j) I grew up on roleplaying and still do on occasion! (OCs I mean haha) I think its a great stepping stone to writing full blown chapters and stuff, all about practice or whatever!!

oh and: I'm glad you liked that piece lmao. N x Doll is one of those ships I thought about for 2 seconds and went "wait no I get it.". I've honestly thought about making more art of it just because its left such a impact on my skull. (ITs... the only enemies to lovers you could HAVE with N canonically w/o messing w/ his character and i am OBSESSED)

#oh and I wasn't expecting anyone to actually listen to the full sONG sdkljfklsdjfskdf #I appreciate you understanding the vision and I also maybe apologize for those lyrics being alot more suggestive then the art made it seem #its the only song I've got thats about like killing eachother freaky style tho so its the only correct vibe tune I've got skdjfklsdjf #I do NOT apologize for roping you into the NxDoll ship tho. I love those freaks!!!#also idk I'm glad you liked my portrayal of them #being told that is really cool to me jsdhfsdf so thnx ^^#asks #anon #juzi anon #also when i posted that art i took a week off due to burnout and now when I look at my tumblr for you page I see alot more nxdoll #did I miss something or.

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writeshite · 2 years

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OMG luce is back at it BOOOOOM. DO I KNOW WHO TO REQUEST FEO: no. Do I know it'll be angsty af? YES! Should I keep writing my own ff instead of writing Requests? Kinda. Also I just stepped on my MacBook and i think its dead- NYways enough from my life :)

Of course it's gonna be for morphy again, cus I love that man.

So. There ist this one guy, who cheated death in Greek mythology (wikilink) . So my Idea is that there is someone on earth who does the same, best woul be to set it in the mid 18th hundred bc of the clothes, I love the clothes.

Death had been chasing that boy for like a while, but genuinely cant discover him and when she does reader always runs away. So she asks dream for a bit help, and the the good lil brother he is, he agrees to help. He and Lucien read through nearly all the books in the library, dont find that boy in the dream books though, but they find his diary.

Morpheus reads through it and starts sympathizing with the reader, so he visits them. They argue and he starts liking them more. The rest be urs :D I just cant put things in words rn. <\3

I really loved how u made my other Request in a wonderful fanfic so... I thought why not Request again.!

Greets Luce ~

One More Lifetime Won't Kill Anyone

Summary:

“You wouldn’t like what comes after,” she warns. The prospect of eternity is hard enough as an immortal being, but as a human, it could drive one mad - grief is but just one of many things you’d have to contend with. You consider it but then ask, “I won’t like what comes after,” you scoff, “if you’re so adamant about getting me to come with you, make me,” you challenge. She sighs, “You won’t. You’re almost too human, too kind,” you tell her, “and for that, I am thankful.”

Pairings:

Morpheus x Male!Reader

Tags:

Words: 3182

Author's Note:

You will not believe the amount of math I had to do for this.

Death first crosses your path at eight. The plague traveled through the village - the doors were sealed days prior, windows shut, and with no contact with the outside world, your grandmother’s body was still fresh. Still on her bed beside her, your cousin was slumped; she’d stopped hacking out blood and could barely speak; the bile gathered at the corner of her lips; every so often, she would reach out her hand, and you’d curl even further in the corner. The house stank of sick, and your stomach provided a reminder you were still alive.

When people passed, they’d mutter prayers; the plague doctor came once a day; when you responded to his calls, he would tut and leave you, ignoring your protests. You used to pound at the door, but with your energy lacking, you only begged. When Death came, she was kind. Your cousin took her hand and stood anew - dead, but anew - your grandmother followed suit, and then she turned to you. You shook your head, though; you couldn’t die; you were healthy; the ailment had yet to curse your veins.

“I’m sorry,” she comforted you. She directed the three of you from the house - you the only one corporeal - Death led from the village, the path evened out, bumps vanishing, and people fading away. The light, as it would come to be called centuries later, shone brightly. The other two were ecstatic that or had already resigned themselves to their fate; you, on the other hand, were terrified. Eight years old. Eight years old, and you turned away from Death and ran. Away from the light. Away from the village. You ignored her calls, covered your ears when your grandmother cried out for you and pleaded you return to paradise.

Like every child, you thought the forest was a perfect hiding place. The bramble pierced your feet, branches grabbing at your clothes; you stumbled through a shrub, and the ground vanished beneath you. Pulled down by gravity, you fumbled down the cliff, body contorting as it spun; the aching pain of your neck breaking was the last you felt before you died. That should have been the end.

Your village is barely what it was when you return, twenty years passed, and the old path was all that was left. The plague had done its work, and after, the lord of the land - the smell of burning flesh festered, but you ignored it through your work. The makeshift tombstones had taken the better half of a week to make; with no knowledge of Latin, English, or any of the upper languages, you’d elected to carve - as best as you could - your family’s faces. You’d erected them far from the main path, secluded beneath an old peach tree, “Sorry about running off back then,” you muttered.

You hadn’t stuck much near home; scared Death would be waiting; the first few days after not dying had been painful, your neck resetting itself slowly, all the while, you could barely move. Stuck staring up at the canopy, praying Death wouldn’t stumble across you. You’d survived on stealing from the carriages and people that passed through the woods - a hefty reward had been set up after you’d stolen from some noble, but it was well past disregarded. “Is it nice up there?” you asked. “It’s just, I remember how you would speak of the afterlife, and I —” sometimes, in the lowest moments, you regretted running, wishing you could follow along.

Ale did well to stifle the thoughts, leaving you curled in on yourself as you cried; they were few and far between. You shook your head, “ —never mind.”

“It depends,” another voiced. You turned, and there she stood, Death, “You look tired,” she observed.

“Usually, people say hello,” you quipped.

“I suppose you’re right. Hello.” She comes to stand beside you, “They’re happy, by the way, a little angry about you running off.”

“Understandable.” You don’t exchange much more small talk before she brings up the glaringly obvious matter of her visit. You step away when she holds out her hand, “Please, you’re long overdue,” she says, reaching out again. But you back away, shaking your head; she calls out your name, not a warning, more cautiously, as you look ten seconds away from bolting.

“Yes, well, I’ll have you know I’m doing quite well,” you tell her.

“Are you?” she asks. And you huff in response, brushing off her hand and bidding the graves your goodbye; you walk fast. Your feet carry you as far as they can; you hear a sigh, then the sound of footsteps; she’s gone when you look back and right in front of you. You halt, “Don’t fight me on this,” she pleads.

You back away, “I’m not going anywhere with you; you can’t make me.”

“I don’t want to —”

“Then don’t.”

You consider it but then ask, “I won’t like what comes after,” you scoff, “if you’re so adamant about getting me to come with you, make me,” you challenge. She sighs, “You won’t. You’re almost too human, too kind,” you tell her, “and for that, I am thankful.”

She lets you go, perhaps agreeing with your statement, but you don’t stop to ask; you run, barely stopping in the woods. You gather what you have hidden away among the trees, weave a new persona, a new life, and stow away on the first ship you can. A modest thing, the inside is damp and cold; you’re sure the captain knows of your presence - judging by the wrapped bread thrown over the crates you hide behind. Death is there sometimes, sat atop the crates; she often glances down at you, offering her hand once in a while, but you turn away, huffing stubbornly.

“Morpheus, I’m your favorite sibling, right?”

The endless in question glances over at Death; she’s laid back, face pinched in irritation, and eyes shut, “Usually, I would say yes, but I feel there’s some sort of baggage to it this time.”

She rubs her temples, “There’s a human —”

“ —Hob?” Morpheus interjects.

“No, not him, another one. He doesn’t, he ran away from me, and no matter what I do, nothing I say will convince him to pass.”

“What does this have to do with me?” he asks. She sits up, and he already knows he’s not going to like this.

He most definitely, does not like this.

Not the favor, more so the lack of results. The library has nothing on you; he finds your family, friends, and even your village but nothing on you. Lucienne is far luckier; she resurfaces from a mountain of books, a worn-up journal in hand, and on the cover is your name; the first few pages are your childhood - dreary, at best, the plague doesn’t make for such happy moments - after it’s muddled, the writing is a mess. A few pages are caked with dirt and leaves. One even was just soaked in blood.

“Oh dear,” Lucienne mutters, “It appears the poor boy hasn’t had a very happy life so far –is that seawater?” The next set of pages are just wet, though not too much, as they manage to read some of the writing.

Death came for me again; we had a bit of fun this time, though. The captain got sick of me stowing away in his ship and put me to work…………never peeled so many potatoes in my life…………three days…………don’t know what I’ll do…………

I accidentally married……………………count……………………shit……………………

Morpheus chuckled at the accidental marriage bit; he’d love to hear that story firsthand. “He sounds lovely,” he remarks.

“No matter what I say, you’re going to visit him, aren’t you?” Lucienne notes, and he voices agreement, already leaving the library.

Walking through dreams - not that he doesn’t already do that - your dreams are strange; most people in this century dream of riches, wealth, usurping those above their stations, but you, you dream of a little house with two other people and nothing eventful.

“Hand me that, dear.” One of the other people, an older woman, she’s making stew, she’s always making stew, and she never eats it. Portioning what little there is to an adolescent - face often blurred and uncertain - and another child. “Oh, no, no, I’m alright. I had some of the bread; I’ll be fine. Eat up, dear; we don’t want you catching the plague so thinly looking.”

“It’s rude to trespass into other people’s minds.” The scene trickles away and is replaced by a void.

“How do you know I am trespassing?” Morpheus asks, “I could be a figment of your imagination.”

You chuckle, form appearing before him, “I doubt my mind could conjure a man of such beauty.” He smiles a little, “A man whose name eludes me.”

“How can it elude if it was never given,” he counters, “You look rather different from what Death described; shouldn’t you be sickly?”

You huff, “It’s been twenty-nine years of running from her, things are bound to change, and when you live so long, well, things get easier.”

“Then why dream of a shabby little hut?”

“We’ve barely been acquainted, good sir,” you respond.

“Is that an invitation?”

“If you like.”

He very much did - not that he’d admit it to himself - and left the Dreaming, finding himself in the countryside; you’ve done quite well for yourself, looking healthier than you had when Death had last seen you. Your new home - correction manor house - is well spaced, with rolling fields all around, well kept, and very few staff; it’s quite isolated - a home fit for someone undying.

“You don’t look that different awake.” You say from behind him, the reigns of a horse in hand, “In fact, I’d say you look quite average.”

“Insulting me won’t do much to change the subject of my visit.”

“I suppose not,” you hand the reigns over to a waiting stableboy, “shall we?”

“You walk like a noble.” He comments, it’s not that hard to do, really, nose stuck up, face passive, and arms behind your back, you’ve got it down quite well. “You also seemed to have adjusted quickly to —what’s your title?”

“Count,” you reply, relaxing back on the armchair, “What of you? Associate of Death, what title do you hold?”

He chuckles, “I’m no associate, rather a brother fulfilling a favor, and as for a title, Lord of Dreams seems to be universal, but I prefer Morpheus.”

He asks for your name in return, and you give it; you’ve never seen the need to change it with the turning centuries, “Now then, Morpheus, why has Death sent you to my doorstep?”

“She didn’t,” he admits, “her favor required less involvement on my part.”

“And what sort of involvement would that be?” you inquire.

“I’m not quite sure yet,” he responds; you’ve both seemed to have shifted in your seats, leaning closer to the other, “Why? Are you proposing something?”

“Morpheus, we’ve only met. What do you take me for?” You feign innocence, placing a hand on his chest, and push back the lapel of his coat. You’re not sure who leans closer, but you find yourself holding him close, his hands holding your face as you fall to your bed. Clothes were discarded somewhere between the move from where you’d sat, and you didn’t bother to think of them now. Morpheus lowers himself, head nestled between your legs; you grasp him by his hair as he swallows your cock - your moans echoing in the room - he kisses along your thighs when he comes off it, dark eyes glazing back up at you.

Your back arches when he draws an orgasm from you, your legs loosened by the feeling, and you spend many hours finding endless ways to bring each other pleasure. You lie next to Morpheus, “I’ve quite enjoyed your involvement, Morpheus.”

He grins, “I doubt Death will; I’m certain the favor was to garner insight into you.”

“Oh, I think you’ve done that well enough,” you tease, and he sighs, a slight pout to his expression; you roll him onto his back, “let me give you some more insight.”

“Would you like something to cover that up, my lord?” Lucienne jests.

Morpheus is going to keep walking with dignity; he is going to ignore the blatant hickeys along his skin, the flushed look on his face, and his tussled hair. He is also going to ignore Lucienne’s smug little smirk and Death’s glare as he strides past them.

The age of enlightenment, they’re calling it. Rubbish. Traipsing around the world like they own the place, the age of entitlement is more like it. You chuckle at your own joke; your fellow counts and noblemen had been appalled by your commentary, angry that a member of their own caste would say something so indecent. The Renaissance had been no better, but at least you’d had Leonardo, a genius he was, immortalized in so many ways - you’d barely left your manor house after returning from his passing, and she’d been there. Death, gaze steady as you held his hand, “You could follow, come with,” she offered once more.

“I doubt he would; he’s a stubborn old man,” Leonardo had said before Death guided him away.

You’d left his assistant, Salaì, to his matters, then retired to your home - many of the friends you’d come to know had either passed or gone senile; their children and grandchildren had grown weary of you, “You’ve never aged a day,” they’d say, and you’d shrug, dismissing the conversation.

“Is this seat taken?”

You glance up from your mug of ale; the foam is long gone, and the taste is stale, “Of course, who else would I be reserving it for?” you quip. It’s still strange to see Morpheus among humans, they don’t seem to register him as anything other than a man, but after the years you’d spent avoiding Death - and distracting him - you’d come to know how to pick out otherworldly beings from a crowd. The endless dons 18th Century apparel befit a nobleman, his hair held back and a grim expression on his face - perhaps concern. You’d be remiss to dismiss him; he’d become quite the shadow over the years, especially today - the anniversary of your family’s death - morning hours at the grave, evening hours at the bar.

He placed a hand on your glass before you could take another swig, “It’s still light out; at least let me get through a few glasses before you cut me off.”

“I did, last year, and we woke up in another country,” he reminds you.

You laugh, “Oh, don’t pout, Morpheus,” you pout back, over exaggerating all the while, but he doesn’t budge, and you groan. “You’re no fun; you know that? Can’t you let me live out my dreams?”

“Getting blackout drunk is your dream?”

You purse your lips and nod, “Today? Yes.”

“This isn’t healthy,” he chastises you, and you scoff.

“Says who? I’ve lived a long life; I deserve to kick back and drown myself in alcohol,” you tell him, running a hand around the rim of your glass, you haven’t had enough to get you drunk, but you’re on the edge of tipsy. You brush his hand away and knock back the rest of your drink, a satisfied smile on your face. “Cheer up, Morpheus; I’ve got enough dread to endure today.”

“There are other, healthier ways to cope with grief.”

You almost laugh, snickering at his statement, “Oh, please, what do you know of grief?” You ask him, “What could a creature of eternity know of suffering?” you seethed.

“I know well of suffering,” he defended, “I’ve lived far longer than you could ever imagine.”

You scoffed, “Suffering? You hold more power in your hand than anyone could fathom, and you think you could grasp the finite pain that boils through me?” You turned to him with a breathy laugh and the onset of tears, “You walk among gods; I hide in their shadows. Our suffering cannot be compared, perhaps you have suffered, but could you ever comprehend the mortal toil that stains my world?”

“You think my life free of turmoil,” he sadly mused.

“Is it not? You do not fear Death; she is your sister. You do not experience hunger; it is beneath you. You do not suffer thirst, illness, or fear. Your immortality was yours from birth, mine, a once fortunate accident.”

“You’ve become resentful of me.” It’s less of an observation; your journal entries at the library have become more haphazard than before, and a few unfinished sentences mention him, but without context or elaboration, what else is he to assume but the worst?

“Oh no, not you, more so myself….my stupid, cowardly self….” you lament, laughing as tears fall from your eyes. Your memories of the past, before this mess, have become hazy, your dreams have no faces, their voices carry in the distance when they speak - never clear, never certain, you’ve forgotten what so many people sound like by now, “My mind’s become forgetful,” you tell him, “I can’t remember anything that well anymore, well, except you I suppose, but then again,” you brush your hand against his, “you are a constant aren’t you?”

He smiles a little, “Always.” He accompanies you back home, and you lie atop him, mind muddled and slumber stricken; he watches over you when Death approaches. She stands by the bed, face painted with disappointment.

“You can’t keep doing this, Morpheus; I asked for your help; falling in love with him isn’t doing that.” Death lectured.

Morpheus glanced down at you, “He needs me,” he argued.

“Does he? Or do you need him?” she counters. “I know you’ve come to care for him, but he is spiraling; you saw it. How many more years do you think he’ll manage before he goes mad?”

“He won’t. I’ll be there; I’ll always be there,” Morpheus proclaims.

The 21st Century is rather strange; technology has excelled beyond what you’d ever imagined; despite the choice of travel, you’ve elected to return home, close to the site of your long-gone village. A site now in the hands of a museum, alongside your family’s gravestones, they’d taken down the peach tree, excavated, and placed everything else behind a glass pane. You’d put off buying the land for decades, the area had never been popular, so interest was never an issue, but now, glancing at the exhibit, you felt everything and nothing all at once.

Unlucky victims of the plague….

You couldn’t read it without scoffing; what business did they have digging up the gravestones? You feel seconds away from buckling, and as you’re about ready to do so, a hand slips into yours; you hadn’t heard Morpheus approach - mind you, you could barely focus on anything - he lightly tugs, and you turn, hiding away in his embrace.

End Note:

Originally, I was gonna have this end so sad, but then, I decided to be kind. 🙂 Stay Hydrated.

#morpheus x male reader #morpheus x reader #the sandman imagine #shiterequests

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cerealmonster15 · 8 months

Text

I’m acting on a whim and posting some unfinished(?) fanfic stuff I wrote like a year ago. Part of my many branches of caterella aus that has vague reference to one of my rsa ocs (dañarte)… but with a cater/idia main plot with jamil/azul happening in he background. My blurbs ended in a bit of a sad spot BUT it was always the intention in my mind that there would be happy resolutions 🙏 these were just little things I wrote for my friend and me bc it was an au we talked about…

Context: idia and cater are bonding, but only online over magicam, and idia is kinda catfishing cater (though not maliciously). when i was trying to name my original rsa oc (char) and looking at names, eppa was one of my initial possible choices. It was maybe my friend who had the idea initially of idia having a fake, RSA princely identity that cater gets to know over magicam?

Eventually I picked char for my actual guy, and dañarte became his cousin via me making typos and more discord sillies lol, but prince eppa became a pseudonym for idia and created another branch for the story. I’ve talked a bit about the dañarte lore and some of that comes into play here. Char I guess would too but I don’t think he got mentioned anywhere lol sorry buddy. But ya idia is pretending to be a prince at rsa named eppa who “secretly likes video games” or whatever I think lol. Idia likes his bond with cater but can’t even begin to think of how cater would react if he found out idia was lying to him.

Anyway. This is more cater/idia (and board game boys friendship) focused than anything (lots of idia pov pining lol) and idk if anyone would wanna read it but I’m putting it here to record keep anyway. No ao3 Bc It’s very unedited and unfinished and just kinda blurb writing lol

But it’s the only time if technically written for caydia. And I do like it. It’s just embarrassing bc I get embarrassed with my oc things and my love for romance drama but i guess I’ve been exposing more of it lately lol… shout out to anyone who recognizes the fic I’m referencing that I DID post lol.

Anyway. Copy pasted from my Google docs:

Idia’s computer pinged as a message appeared on screen.

C.Dia - eppa, are u awake?

Idia looked at the clock, startled. It was 3AM… Idia was still up because he was grinding a new event in one of his many, many, many games, but what the heck was Cater Diamond doing up at this hour? Had he just gotten back from a party?

PrinceEppa: ya, why r u tho? It’s crazy late lol

C.Dia: lol ikr

C.Dia: i just cant sleep rn >.<

PrinceEppa: how come?

C.Dia: i got into a fight w/my bf again…

Idia sighed at his computer. Right… Cater’d started dating that prettyboy from RSA.

PrinceEppa: 0~0 thats like the third time this month…

C.Dia: ya ik ;-;

Idia fiddled with the strings on his hoodie. He didn’t really know if his heart could take hearing Cater talk about another guy, but the thought of Cater laying around sad and alone made him ache just as bad… But what was he supposed to say in times like these? Idia didn’t know anything about comforting someone about relationships! He barely talked to people in general!

Thankfully, Cater kept going and spared Idia the anguish of trying to figure out what to do next.

C.Dia: are u going to bed rn?

PrinceEppa: no lol ill be up for a while longer.

C.Dia: royalty keeps busy at all hours huh?

Idia tensed at the mention of his lies.

PrinceEppa: something like that. Balancing the princely duties and the princely gamer sessions is tough work 😌

C.Dia: LOL. never change eppa <3

His face grew warm, a bittersweet swelling filling his chest.

C.Dia: can u chat with me a lil longer then?

C.Dia: tell me about ur day or ur games or w/e? I kinda just want a distraction, i dont really wanna be alone rn

C.Dia: if ur not busy anyway >.< it’s oki if you wanna focus on ur gamer mode lololol

Idia paused for a moment, before moving his mouse and closing out of his game. The rest of the event grind could wait.

PrinceEppa: im never too busy for you, cay.

C.Dia: thx <3

Sometimes, even for the prince of otakus, there were more important things than gaming…

But only when those things were really, really, really special.

“I heard Cater and that RSA boyfriend of his broke up.” Azul spoke after several minutes of silently moving chess pieces around the board.

Idia frowned. “Don’t try and use that as a distraction from the game just because I’m winning.”

Azul kept his face neutral so as not to betray any bluff he might have. “Perish the thought. I just thought his sweet prince eppa would be interested in such information.”

“SHH!” Idia hissed. “Not so loud! Besides, I-I already know. He told me…”

Azul raised an eyebrow. “He told you, or he told Eppa?”

Idia focused on the chess piece he moved. “Same thing.”

Azul sighed as he took his own piece and contemplated his next move. “Hardly. Honestly, how can you ever expect to move your relationship forward if you don’t unmask yourself? All this bonding will be for nothing if you don’t use it to the full extent!”

Idia rolled his eyes. “I don’t wanna hear it from you of all people. How long have you been saying you’re gonna ask Jamil out?”

It was Azul’s turn to shush Idia, face reddening. “How is that even relevant?!”

Idia grinned. “Cuz you keep going on and on to me about how I should be more confident with Cater, but you won’t even take the plunge with Jamil! Hypocrisy much?”

“I’m simply waiting for the right time. I would be a fool if I didn’t stick with my patient strategy of getting him to warm up to me before striking! Move too early, and I’ll undo all my progress…”

Idia sighed, thinking back to all the hours he’d spent DMing Cater under a fake name. They’d gotten quite close, but as far as Cater knew, Idia was still that vague acquaintance in the back of his classes.

If he messed up by telling him his identity at the wrong moment, or didn’t phrase it right…

“Lost progress… that’s exactly what I’m afraid of…”

“Idia!” Cater’s cheerful voice called out as he approached the lecture hall desks. “You’re in person again today; that’s three for three this week!” He spoke with a smile as he slid into the seat next to Idia.

Idia jumped at the sudden appearance of his classmate. “O-oh, uh, yeah…”

“Oh, B-T-W, did you hear that Azul and Jamil were on a date Friday night?” Cater said in a half-whisper, leaning close to Idia’s ear.

“Uhh…” Idia didn’t really know how to answer that. Sure, he knew Azul had some overly complicated date-but-not-a-date plan to get Jamil to hang out with him, and then ask him out for real, but how did Cater hear about…?

“I was hangin’ out with the pop music club on Friday when Ruggie texted Kalim that he was serving their table! Isn’t that just crazy?”

Ah. Kalim and Ruggie. That explained it all.

“I mean, I always wondered if those two had something goin’ on, y’know? Like, they had that ‘will they, wont they, playing hard to get’ kind of vibe. Super cute, if you ask me.”

Idia wasn’t really sure that ‘cute’ was a good way to describe anything those two were involved in, but he simply nodded his head along to Cater’s blathering, as he discreetly pulled his phone out of his pocket and switched to his Prince Eppa magicam account, reading the messages from that morning.

PrinceEppa: howre u feeling?

C.Dia: like total trash lol…..

C.Dia: ik he was a jerk but like i miss him, yknow??

C.Dia: or maybe i just miss having someone there. And its almost valentines day lol. Shit timing amirite?

PrinceEppa: that really does suck… im sorry, cater.

C.Dia: thanks, it’s oki tho. Better to get it overwith lol

C.Dia: i really dont wanna get out of bed or go to class…

PrinceEppa: mood

PrinceEppa: u really should tho. Ik it’s hard but itll feel worse if u stay there all alone

C.Dia: urk. Idk if i have the energy to be around people today

PrinceEppa: tbh i get that… i dont rlly wanna go face people either today…

PrinceEppa: how about we try it together?

C.Dia: i wish u went to my school so we really could go to class together <3

C.Dia: but oki. I'll try, for you :)

PrinceEppa: :)

If Cater really was feeling as bad as he felt, he was pretty good at hiding it with that blinding smile and bubbly laughter.

Sure, Idia’s first instinct would be to immediately enable anyone that wanted to spend the day hiding in bed, but… The thought of Cater lying alone in the dark with his thoughts just made Idia sad.

And, if he did that, Idia wouldn’t get to see him in class today…

“Oooh, do you think Azul and Jamil are gonna go out again on Valentine’s day?”

That depends on what Jamil answered on Azul’s questionnaire, Idia thought to himself. He was sure he’d get a full report from Azul later that day at their next club meeting.

Cater sighed. “Another Valentine’s day, and Cay-Cay’s single yet again!” He smiled, but Idia felt that his eyes weren’t lit as bright as they normally were as he spoke. “But, I’m sure some of the boys at Heartslabyul will be hangin’ around like always. It’s never lonely when you live with friends!” He turned to face Idia again. “What about you, Idia? Any steamy plans for Valentine’s day?”

“U-uh…” Idia started fiddling with his hair. It was now or never. ‘A-Actually, Cater… M-my dorm, Ignihyde, we’re h-hosting a movie night that night… Y’know, ‘cause a lot of us don’t really have plans for Valentine’s day and don’t wanna be sulking alone…” He swallowed a lump in his throat and took a deep breath. “...Y-you can come join, i-if you want…?”

Cater blinked a few times, a look of surprise on his face, before breaking into a smile and giving Idia’s arm a small squeeze of a hug. “OMG, movie night at Ignihyde?! I hear you guys have like, the sickest setup! That sounds great; count me in!”

Idia breathed a sigh of relief as the professor began class.

A few seconds in, his phone quietly vibrated as a single message came through. Idia glanced at it from down in his jacket pocket.

C.Dia: a rlly sweet guy in my class just invited me to hang out w/him and his dormmates on valentines day

C.Dia: u were right about getting out of bed. i think ill be okay today ^.^

***

“Hey, Idia…” Cater put his phone down, magicam abandoned where he’d paused on a video of a turtle swimming around an aquarium. “We’ve gotten a bit closer lately, huh?”

Idia paused the game he had up on his tablet. “H-huh? Oh, uh, y-yeah…”

“So, uh,” Cater played with a strand of his hair. “Do you mind if I talk to you about something a little… personal?”

Idia froze. Abort mission, find an escape route, he was not a high enough level for this kind of topic yet! Maybe Eppa was, but Idia!?

And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to just say no when Cater was looking at him with those soft green eyes.

“S-sure…”

“Thanks! Y’know, you’re really sweet, and like, such a good listener…”

Idia hoped the redness of his face was hidden behind the flames of his hair that flickered in every direction.

“And I’ve just been feeling so… confused lately, about where my heart’s at. My feelings feel like they’re being pulled in so many different directions!”

Idia could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

Cater sighed, laying his head down on the table. “My ex asked me on a date today. He wants me to give him another chance.”

The burning sensation from Idia’s insides made a 180 as he felt his blood go cold. This was the last thing he wanted to hear his normie crush come and tell him without warning…

“And the craziest part? I said I’d think about it.”

Oh god.

“I know that’s like, totally insane after everything that happened, but… I dunno, seeing him around now that he goes to school here just has my head all scrambled!” He picked his head up from the table, opened his phone again, and gave the turtle video a like before standing back up suddenly. “Gosh, sorry, I don’t know why I just came over here and dumped that on you, Idia. I guess I just find you so easy to talk to, I get a little carried away!” He said with a nervous laugh.

Lucky Idia.

“But, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure things out for myself. It’ll be A-okay!” Cater gave an unconvincing thumbs up before turning to leave.

Super lucky.

“Azul, today might actually be the worst day of my life.” Idia said as he dragged himself into the clubroom and plopped down in the seat across from Azul in their usual spot.

“...Hm? Oh, hello, Idia.” Azul looked up from his phone. “I believe you said the same thing when you came in here to lament about Cater getting together with his… boyfriend, a while back.” Azul seemed tense at the very concept of Danarte. He hadn’t exactly been a fan of the guy since he transferred to not just NRC, but into Scarabia specifically, where he’d made a point to hover around Kalim and Jamil as much as possible.

“I mean, it’s basically the same level of despair. Cater just told me Danarte not only asked him out, but that he’s considering it!” Idia dropped his head facedown onto the table in sorrow. “Like, how could I lose to the same guy twice!? Ugh, honestly, there’s no one as pathetic as me. I am having the WORST time, and NO ONE could possibly understand the agony I’m in right now!”

Azul chuckled, his tone solemn and hollow. “I’ll do you one better. Jamil broke up with me today.”

Wait, what?

Idia’s head shot up as he squinted at Azul, who was gazing sadly at his phone again. “Huh!? Wh- Huh!? What happened?”

Azul sighed. “We had another fight- and I mean, you know how we are. We have our differences, our disagreements, and the two of us can be a bit… stubborn at times. But we always figure it out! We were doing so well… At least, I thought we were.” Azul rested his chin in his hands. “But I suppose Jamil didn’t feel that way. He said he’d had enough of the relationship. Enough of me.”

Azul bowed his head to stare down at the table.

Idia wondered if he was trying not to cry. He looked out the window, both out of respect, and also because it felt kind of awkward to stare at his friend who was clearly just barely holding it together after getting dumped.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, when it was clear neither of them wanted to discuss their woes anymore, Idia spoke. “Uh, wanna play the VR headset boardgames today? Now’s kinda the perfect time to… Escape reality, right?”

Azul lifted his gaze to Idia. “...You just want to make me use the virtual dice again because you know I can’t use my perfected dice strategy on them, don’t you?” He straightened his posture, standing up to get the headsets. “I’ll have you know I won’t let your silly game of virtual chance best me today!”

Oh thank god that worked. Idia didn’t think either of them could handle any more emotions for the day, so he stood up and followed Azul with a grin. “Hehe, we’ll see about that, Azul.”

#cereal writes #ocs #oc: dañarte #kind of. he’s not here but he’s involved #uhhh I’m not putting my mess in the main tags #ur allowed to rb or whatever I just dhfbgbgbg I can’t put this in the tags #it’s by will of god if u see it. or if you happen to be looking on my blog for things I guess LOL #I wrote these bits spaced out over time too #each chunk was as I had a later idea and it was in order as I went #but Idr how far apart they were #last time was apparently sept last year #anyway the point was cater and idia could be a lil more real with each other online #cater a bit more open about his melancholy #and idia more encouraging and then #pushing himself to be in person more both motivated by cay to see him #and bc their convos make him wanna be better or whatever idk #sorry the jamiazu bits may not make sense if you haven’t done the prerequisite reading LOL it’s not a big deal tho

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davepetea · 3 months

Text

((just ranting abt writing fanfics you can ignore me lmao. I'm just in a weird place atm but I'm feeling kinda passionate abt writing rn so I'm gonna vent

originally I wrote a lil of this in the tags but then decided to just chuck it under a readmore so people aren't subjected to it against their will. then it got really long.

I'm not actually expecting anyone to read this im just sorta venting to myself. it helps me get my thoughts sorted if I write them down. I can also look back through my #.vat file tag in a few years from now and hopefully be like "wow I'm doing so much better than THAT now", so if that's the case, hi future Vatta! I hope you're having a good day. and if you're not future me, then I still hope you're having a good day, I love you, and this is your chance to turn back bc my rants are boring and LONG

(not turning back yet? ok. your funeral)

so, I haven't been online much bc I've just been in a weird limbo lately and I'm really busy when I'm at home either sorting stuff out or, with my PDA, doing anything I can to avoid my responsibilities lmao

I've been rereading my Tokyo ghoul light novels (I only have Void and Days ? I think they're called), rewatching Zankyou no Terror, and Bungou Stray Dogs (plus the live action Beast film which was? hilarious but I don't think it was supposed to be), and just suffering lmao

(you're still here? wow. you need a hobby. jk. ily)

I've been locked out of the systems at work for a bit, but I still need to be there and wait for the IT ticket to be sorted, so I've gotta be at my desk, cant have my phone or anything, so instead of sitting there doing nothing, I've either been reading, doing codeword puzzles, or I've been writing up 'drafts' for potential fanfics.

in this year of our sufferer 2024. I've been writing up some self indulgent homestuck college AU lmao. I've written over 60 sides of a5, (not inc the inbetween sections where I wrote some stuff on the chromebook at home) some notes, some accidental first draft, bc I wanted something to take up the time. but my handwriting is terrible, I don't write fast enough for my brain, I have a lil dyslexia so the letters and words get jumbled sometimes, and I have this weird thing where I don't do spaces right. but I've been trying to upload it to Google docs with Bixby's photo text extraction. it's pretty good considering how bad my writing is, then I just need to go through and touch it up, the main issues are things like names, there's some letters I do weird like my v turns into an r, or every p it thinks is a capital, but overall. amazing how technology do that.

(see my long ass rambling isn't just confined to venting. I also pretend to write actual things. you can still leave you know. I'm not holding you hostage until you read all this. you have free will)

can't remember how I ended up back in fanfic hell but I read back through like all my old published fics (aside from the cringe ones I orphaned) and the writing isn't terrible. I don't think I actually finished any of them though, which really shows my true nature lmao,,, but I've picked up a few things on my writing style now. and I've got a few things I see other people do that I wanna avoid bc I personally don't like it, and it's mostly about balance, like using names too often/not enough, being too descriptive like All The Time and making the writing really nice, but not much happens in the story so you take like an hour to read each scene, vs not enough description so everything is happening but you don't really get a visual or a breather to appreciate what's happened so far. I've been working on finding my right balance, which is imo easier if you're writing fanfic bc first up you hardly ever have to describe the characters. if someone's reading it they already know who they are. and for scenes you can take some inspo from the source material. does the original work put alot of effort into setting a cool scene? if not, then you don't have to either! if it's 90% scenery then you've gotta do it too I don't make the rules

I'm losing steam now I'm so sleepy and I've gotta go to work in a bit ugh.

(bet you're sleepy reading this too huh. told you it'd be boring)

I've been thinking about trying out writing some BSD fics but on an anonym not linked to my main Ao3, bc the themes are doozys and I kinda just wanna have the freedom of anonymity. also I'm a baby and if someone publicly criticises my stuff without it being a requested critique then it makes me bleh (I've had a few comments in the past of just general negatives, not even constructive feedback, not that I asked for any anyway...), but the abilities are tricky to write for, so it's effort lol

anyway I'm gonna stop now ive gotta get ready for work

(if you actually read this then thanks for going on this emotion deep dive with me. tune in next week when we'll get back to my usual mental breakdown)

#ooc post.#.vat file #genuinely I haven't been online on any blogs lately bc I'm doing. v bad. mental wise.#/rant off

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stillmonsterz · 1 month

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god i love u fr

anw so— birds of a feather quite literally fucked up my day (in a good way) like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way?? i mean that in a very appreciative way and i think ur genuinely one of a kind absolutely gem writer on this app like i could go on and on abt the way you write your characters and their chemistry w each other like ugh im eating it up im so full

so onto the actual fic, WHAT THE FUCK RIKI?? when i catch u riki istg, my heart SANK at that last part like i knew something was up bc he hasn't caused anything in a while and that was like a bullet sized dagger straight through my heart jfc. he had me all bamboozled and im actually feeling rage at the way mc showed vulnerability to him only to be backstabbed by him and now he's like dragging her w a noose around her neck— it's insane how he immediately dismissed mc and jumped the gun at how she could only be lying like that part just made him go from my fav character to my most loathed character. also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

oh and i cant forget abt the jay scene in the hotel GOD i had such a viceral emotional reaction to every dialogue they said— my brain is thoroughly jumbled, a smut scene on ecstasy could never compare to the gut wrenching situationship break up that was. if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it. there's just a lot to say abt that scene it might be my all time favorite piece of fanfic i've read in my life, im losing my mind at the contrast between mc wanting to savor the moment and make it last longer while jay's trying to get it over with bc i know that he knows if he takes as much time as he'd like, he'd actually realize he loves her and that's just too much of big boy feelings for him (im bullying him too much bc im so sour rn)

also the reveal w jake dealing w addiction was eye opening, like now im rethinking back to all the times he's been fidgety and including that recent scene w mc when he comes out of the restrooms, god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

and i think we might be only skimming the surface w the other members, i weirdly adore sunoo lmao he's such a cryptid being, and tbh the only good thing that came out of this was sunghoon and lily being a maybe healthy couple, i love love that scene w him and lily it's such a sweet and cute moment in between all the shit mc's digging herself in lmao. i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls, he's gonna be important later on and im feeling the nerves crawl up my spine even though he's never shown up once in this part, im that scared of him 😭

im terrified at what's to come, like actual dread on if riki's abt to spill everything to jay and if jay will find out and— this is too overwhelming and my mind's so cluttered lol. anw im not gonna speculate anything rn for my health but im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol. not to say this was horrible no no quite the exact opposite this is the most fun and absorbed i've got from a fic in a long time, this left such an impression on me that it sneaks into the back of my mind all the time, which amplifies everytime i open this app just to scroll and i always unconsciously search ur user to see if you've updated or not.

last one i promise, thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed 🥲 (sorry for this wall of text also lol)

Putting my answer under a read-more

First of all, please don't apologize for sending large asks like this. I honestly love it when people have a lot of things to say about my works. It makes me feel as though I've created something rich enough that it can be discussed.

like im so invested into this story and im just in awe of the level of literacy in the way u write and im kinda taking some notes and learning from u in a way??

Thank you so much for this...I think I can attribute this to me reading. I read almost every day, and I only read things that I enjoy.

also suddenly the few mentions of riki being 'cute and evil' compared to everyone else makes so much sense, and tbh i don't trust that he'd stay quiet abt those ss he's just gonna be bored and leak them after a while i feel like.

I sort of wanted to emphasize that anyone who would join the Karma Club would inherently be predisposed to doing horrible things for their own enjoyment. Also, as in real life, sometimes the nicest people can do horrible things. People are far more contradictory than we give them credit for. That being said, no spoilers on what he'll do with the screenshots. It's been fascinating to see the revulsion towards Riki's actions compared to what Jay has done to the MC.

if i may be honest, jay's a pussy lmao wdym you can't be wrong and admit you're not even half as bad as u thought lol anw he's going straight into the complicated men box. sorry that was me trying to cope w the fact that all of the progress jay and mc made was just gone like that and it's all back to square one now, i can't deal w that loss rn im fr mourning over it.

If it makes you feel any better, they aren't really at square one. Square one was Jay harassing her nonstop because he truly was disgusted by her, in as equal measure as he was fascinated by her. Like he said, he now doesn't even know if he hates her anymore. So even though it seems like they've gone to the beginning, this is new territory for both of them. Jay is a huge pussy, though. He calls Jake a pussy, but Jake has made more genuine attempts to get close to Y/N than him LOL

god i was dying for the mc to just get in there and ivestigate around BUT SHE DIDN'T im so pissed. jake's definitely shown some cracks in this part and i can't wait to see him be vulnerable to mc and be honest for once, he's hiding too much and i still don't trust him i can't lie.

It's good that you don't trust him. At that point, Heeseung had already told Y/N to just be nice to Jake, so she didn't want to bother him. Heeseung essentially told her that she was part of the reason why Jake relapsed, so she doesn't want to toe the line.

i don't think i have an opinion on heeseung yet other than he obviously cares for his members, or at least the kc's reputation, and has his bearings together enough to tell the mc straight up abt all of that. also jungwon.... why do i hear boss music.... LMAO but honestly the bit where it mentioned that he got shit on everyone combined w the ending had me clawing at the walls

No spoilers, but Jungwon will come into play. Something happened in the earlier part of birds of a feather that will have an effect on what happens in Part 3.

im gonna write this last paragraph in appreciation for the way you write morally gray characters, like just completely blown away by how complex and unpleasant they were written, and i mean unpleasant bc i fr know some ppl who'd act this way, it's bone chilling. granted not to the extent these characters are but it's still enough to take me back into the headspace and social circle in my younger years, just the deep regret crashing all over me again lol.

Thank you so much! And yeah, I definitely drew from my high school experience for some of this. The only other time I've ever done that is for Tired of What We Are, and I think you can see some of the parallels. Not to say that fluff is unnecessary (I do plan on writing something cute) but it's just fun to play round with people who are morally questionable, and who revel in their bad traits at times. Not so fun to experience it yourself, though.

thank u sm for writing this fic and all ur other fics, i know and i can tell when a writer has literacy in their heart ur up there w my forever favorites. can't wait to see it all unfolds and im hoping the mc have some sort of a good ending, fingers crossed

Thank you so so much. I took a long time to answer this because I wanted to keep this ask to myself. Whenever someone sends me a longer ask, I read it over and over again. I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible. I really do love writing fics, and I'm grateful that people are willing to read them. Thank you for all of the kind words you've written, and for taking the time to read my fic!

#asks

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orcelito · 1 year

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Honestly. OK. It's been some weeks since I did any writing. And I SHOULD push to finish ladue chapter 3. And i will. Eventually. BUT

My brain keeps scrabbling towards trigun, & I know it's inevitable I'm gonna write smth for it, but I still don't know what to write bc Realistically I'm still in the digestion phase. I'm not the type who will write while in the middle of absorbing a thing. I will write only after I have reasonably completed the thing, bc I would DIE if I got any details wrong for the thing

So yes I watched all of tristamp, but im only 20 ish chapters into trimax, so I'm not gonna be writing anything until after I finish that manga. Which you'd THINK would be good incentive for me to push to read the manga. But get this. Wolfwood Fanfic Good.

Also anytime I start reading I can't stop & I have literally given myself headaches doing this reading all of original trigun manga in one go And then 2 nights ago reading chapters 4 through 20 of tristamp in one go. Yes I read a few more last night and didn't get the Brain Grip, but I can tell shit's about to go down HARD & that's what got me getting only 4 hours of sleep the night before last bc i could not stop READING

I have to be cautious. Hyperfixations are a dangerous thing if you don't have the time to commit to them.

.... and I still really wanna write vashwood fanfic 😭

#speculation nation #y'all know me im allergic to writing anything short #i dont wanna start anything too Truly wrong bc i do NOT need another 500k+ fanfic in the works #especially when i still havent finished the last one #(discacc my baby im so sorry im neglecting you 😭 blame the brain pls)#still tho it's doubtful id be able to write anything shorter than like 20k. at the absolute minimum #(side-eyes ladue chapter 3 WIP which is 18k words and not done)#yes i have the ideas for vashwood smut stuff but i dont wanna have it be Just the smut ykno #my brand is heart wrenching angst anyways. the smut would just be a conduit for that #in any case im still building my perceptions of their characters. i cant start writing anything rn #im definitely leaning more towards trimax characterizations though. their Loser Ways have bewitched me #i like little shit wolfwood more than sleazy bastard wolfwood anyways. aka trimax vs tristamp wolfwood lol #DONT GET ME WRONG i love all wolfwood. but the urge to punch tristamp wolfwood has never gone away since i first saw him #gonna b interesting to write for wolfwood. i might end up leaning towards 'nico' as a nickname #considering one of my fav ocs is named nico lol. do what you know & all. & ive written Many words for my nico #then again it might be weird to have the mix up. it's the primary reason i havent started going by nico myself #just keeping it nicky i guess. but now here's wolfwood. nick nico nicholas. stealing my names there bub #my fate is to fixate on characters that share a diminutive of one of my names. yes one is my character no it was not on purpose #my name nicky does not come from my character nico. his full first name's nicostrato anyways #im just rambling now. tldr: I Wanna WRITE

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erwinsvow · 2 months

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Ahhhh the Winnie the pooh ride looks so cute and fun, and the pooh bear sounds the cutest, I have an Eeyore that stays on my bed.

I also love strawberry shortcake, I like the 2003/4 era of it. Literally last week I was telling my friend how for my next birthday I expect is all to dress like one of the characters lol. I plan to crochet the hats.

Same, I remember the excitement I'd get when we reached a new transformations and fairy form. I deff will send pics when I do floras, I'm not sure which transformation I'll do yet though.

Oof writers block is a bummer, I used to write a bit but just take your time. What do you do for work?. I'm currently on my break lol I work at a bakery.

I've been good, look week cus my school commute is nearly 2 hours there then back lol but we did a heart (not human) dissection which was super cool.

🧚‍♀️

hi angel!!! stoppp eeyore on your bed ill sob thats so cute ! YESS omg the 2003/4 is the best! i will casually rewatch them all the time its so relaxing and cute. OMG!!! that is so cute and fun i have to see pictures of these hats! my sister is so big in crotchet so i have lots of crochet stuff but i want to learn desperately ur so talented !

who is ur fave? im an orange blossom girl myself

oh my god yesss i remember their transformations so vividly! i need to rewatch stop ugh those were the times. but ahhhh yes keep me posted!

it is such a bummer :( everyone has sent such amazing ideas and i have like ten new ideas just sitting in my notes app but cant find any juice to write ive been so burnt out. but i think im gonna be okay after tuesday of this week ive got a short break for a few days! looking forward to that

oh my goodness a bakery! what is that like? what do you do there? that sounds delightful but im sure there's tough aspects. you're living all the fanfic dreams rn rooting for the tattoo shop owner next door to come in one day and whisk you away !

i am a medical assistant... :( its tough but almost over! omg my commute to work is 2 hours too we are such twins! what are you studying? that sounds so interesting. i was a biology major so i recall that too!

ty so much for stopping by angel!

#📮 asks #🧚‍♀️anon

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bumofthewild · 3 months

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omg your ffxiv journey is so sweet ;____; it's so touching to see other haurchefant fans waaaaah everything in ishgard is so crazy. do you have any thoughts? on his family, ysayle, estinien? aymeric?

awwww ty i feel like all i've really done is tweet "i love haurchefant" or complain abt fantasy racism but i'm happy you think so...! and yess infinite love for haurchefant forever i was not expecting to fall for him like that at all. he is literally perfect.......!!!

im actually obsessed w ishgard im hoping you understand that asking for my thoughts on anything is opening a floodgate but i will try to reel it in! ok! here we go!

ok i love ishgard.... i love its extremely insular and severe and almost monastic atmosphere. i am a hugeee fan of secluded locations as the setting of a story so when i realised hvw was going to be largely about ishgard i was so excited. i also really love plots where characters are in hiding/have to take refuge in a hidden and secretive place??? and then the fact that the place you have to take refuge in is haurchefants family home??? i started writing fanfic immediately i literally felt like i was being spoiled like they wrangled that from my brain i genuinely couldn't believe i could experience so much luxury all at once. of course that's been ruined after doing the vault which i have been genuinely handing terribly but. moving on!

emmanellain is so funny and i think the contrast between him and artoirel (silliness/overconfidence vs seriousness/insecurity) is really interesting, down to where you go with them on their separate missions. really fun way of exploring more of ishgard. i like their dad too he's genuinely sweet which i thought was a nice surprise. it really stuck out to me this one moment where the war worsens and he says you can't stay anymore bc its become so dangerous, bc i just automatically assumed everyone would beg you to stay and help. that really touched me. i feel like hvw somehow passed my convoluted eq test

also learning haurchefant was an illegitimate son in the way you do w artoirel just telling you really stood out to me o__o not bc that kind of thing is an issue but bc of how you learn it idk backstory on the characters kind of throws me off in a good way bc of how linear the game is. idk i cant formulate thoughts on haurchefant rn itd need its own post. some other time..

i don't believe in things like nobility as an actual moral concept, obviously, and fantasy games let alone ishgard really test my patience with it, but i do love it aesthetically. same w christianity. i really like idk arthurian medieval aesthetics. the high houses + their motifs really got me like i specifically love unicorns and roses if hvw was trying to appeal to me directly it knew exactly how. ishgard's politics too i thought that shit was so interesting i'd love to learn more about the rocky relationships btwn the houses. and we loveeeee toppling the church thank you heavensward

there were a lot of times though where i was really frustrated with the dragonsong war and this is my issue with ffxiv in general but the way it treats beast races is extremely disturbing. i pretend i cant read whenever a character on the "good" side talks about "civility" or "reason/sense". and the ishgard lore being ppl directed by their god to inhabit a land only to find that land inhabited by "savages" (the dragons) that they have to kill now bc as "reasonable" beings they have a religious claim to that land...is an insane thing to write about!!! jrpgs are crazy!!!!!! like i genuinely need it to stop but i guess they at least (???) kind of turned things around with hresvelgr and ysayle offering the perspective of the other side and i think they made it an interesting issue enough for the game but lord it is disconcerting. that being said the foundation of ishgard being a total lie (and being described constantly as a sin) is still a lot of fun to me like thank god. and the quirky somewhat found family journey w ysayle, estinien and alphinaud to unearth the truth was one of the best parts of hvw imo. i loved seeing estinien act almost like an older brother to alphinaud, and for estinien and ysayle to constantly be at odds and alphinaud trying to keep things together. i am so fond of that section of the game.. just felt like you were climbing higher and higher into figurative heaven (i love the title heavensward im glad they used it in such fun ways) and seeing stubborn bastards like estinien question what he knew. he was so funny by the way i was not expecting that even though i knew an estinien was a popular char in the game for a while. i also like ysayle a lot like her passion was very compelling, and when she finally talks to hresvelgr the way her goals would be tinged w a sort of self-serving personal feeling at times i found really interesting. all of it was so interesting whenever the plot strayed from ishgard id be like take me back PLEASEEE. idk i like chars who behave like tools (estinien) or become tools by accident (ysayle). i think those two should hang out and bicker and begrudgingly accept each other forever

also i love aymeric like i already loved aymeric from post-arr idk if you play w another dub but his english voice has this softness to it that i find so cute. idk he's kind of delicate to me maybe not what they were going for but i'm into it. the fact that post-arr to me is just watching aymeric and haurchefant be in a wol-loving contest MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACHGHH i love the ishgardians how much they like wol in a place that's notorious for being so cold is so great. i think love is real on earth. and not in the self-insert "i need every char in this game to want me" way i just mean that i like love a lot, and they are not shy about the fact that they love you. its great. also when they revealed aymeric was actually an idealist and that getting jailed as a heretic meant little to him if it could bring about a new ishgard--literal nail in my coffin. i love idealism!! i was really pleasantly surprised that the nobles you come to know decided to care more about bringing in a new age for the region rather than being noble. whether or not that change comes is to be seen ofc.. but considering the brume is a location that exists well. what is with this game and the fantasy cops always being really bad...? like is ffxiv actually down for the cause...? (joke)

ik ishgard has its whole classism thing going on but that seems more like fray's department now which i have yet to dance with.. i mean literally just dissolve the class system...but this post is already very unorganised so. no more. i would pay an infinite amount of money to bring haurchefant back. each time i think about him i slip up and think about his gravestone instead and feel nauseous. great game!

#asks #anonymous #ffxiv spoilers #heavensward spoilers #spoilers #seriously like huge spoilers for heavensward #excited for post-heavensward though *scream*#i typed this up last night and was like i need to edit it when i wake up bc its too long and its still too long

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