#to ppl having VERY VALID criticisms abt her

[strrwbrrryjam]

oh my god, that poor, poor billionare, I'm so sorry that people don't like her music, we should all just shut up and kill ourselves

#/s obviously #but my god ppl bend over backwards for her grasping at straws to defend her whether it varies from ppl not liking her music #to ppl having VERY VALID criticisms abt her #like her literally destroying the environment with her frequent private jet routes #shes never gonna care abt you bestie its bot worth it all it does is make you look stupid #like i did not care for her. found her music not to be my taste but when her jet use came out i started to dislike her #but her fans are so annoying that i cannot stand her at all #mutuals are fine. you just like her music which is cool but god a lot of her fans are obsessed to the point where its unhealthy #strawberry speaks

[utilitycaster]

Whoaaaa holy shit something just snapped into place reading you mention the concept of creating a shape of negative space bc i've been thinking so long abt the "unspoken things/quiet part" of characters. I've often had this feeling that fandom will go a million and nine yards to red string board an ocean of depth for their favorite blorbo over.... what comes down to what's technically extrapolating based off of xyz canon, but said canon will be like "this character fidgets once, half his dialogue is quoting an in-universe play he tries to recreate (by ruining ppl's lives), and he doesn't understand why someone wouldn't want to be called a monster, therefore he is AUTISTIC and that drives his logic," or "this character has xyz vague background and is TRAUMATIZED because of WAR" inventing an entire character and it's like. Oh boy. This might be a matter of not being invested enough in these characters to TRY and delve so "deep" but I keep thinking that none of this is actually. written or feels purposeful in the context of How Storytelling Works/the Narrative to MAKE me invest or think that it's worth doing so. I always wonder how many people are trying so hard to project a better story onto something without understanding that the story actually needs to BE THERE and ADDRESSED, even subtly, and token moments aren't enough. But then that gets me thinking about how Thereness needs to exist for something to be subtle but written as opposed to Conspiracy off loose projection.

I was kinda thinking abt Laudna and how to use her as an example, because she's one of those characters for whom like, yeah I as a person totally understand the cycle of being upbeat and normal and everything and then having a random spiral of Bad Upstairs before being normal again, but narratively how do you portray that and why does everyone do it so much better than her. With equal screentime, everyone feels like they have so much more meat to their motivations and psychology despite some being significantly less fraught backstory wise. What's happening here because things just feel like they come out of nowhere with her with "oh so that matters all of a sudden?"

Hi anon,

Yes to all of this! With regards to your first paragraph - I feel that a lot too. It's a tricky situation because I think it's completely valid to project things onto characters and imagine them to have specific qualities that either you have or simply that you wish to see in fiction. It only becomes difficult in a fandom sphere when people insist that this is a fully evidence-based endeavor and not a personal interpretation (especially because a lot of that evidence is, as you say, either very much open to interpretation, or else totally spurious. The number of times I've had to shoo people off my posts for talking extensively about how an immensely self-absorbed character who never thinks about others unless forced to clearly has ADHD...but I digress). And as for the conspiracy element, especially when works aren't as good - absolutely. If you haven't read this, which I reblogged a few weeks ago (has Good Omens 2 spoilers) I highly recommend you do because what you're saying resonates a lot with OP's post, both in terms of our need as fans to project or find similarities with characters, and the fact that when people are disappointed by a work sometimes they try to create a better one, but instead of just writing fanfiction and calling it fanfiction they go full conspiracy theorist and assume there's some secret twist, and fall so hard into that all-crumbs-no-schnitzel (to borrow a metaphor from that post) fanon echo chamber they forget it is, in fact, only fanon.

Which brings us to Laudna. Before I go deeper I want to cover three things. First: for me at least, this criticism comes because I know Marisha is capable of doing this negative space work. It didn't come up much with Keyleth since we kind of knew her whole deal very early (which, to be clear, is valid; not every character needs this), but it's present with both Beau (her relationship to her father is masterfully done; the hallmark of good negative space work is that when the reveal comes you say oh of course) and to a lesser extent Patia, who, like all the Calamity characters, conveys a story much greater than the one that unfolds over a single night. Second: I think part of why a number of us in the fandom are so frustrated is that we have been doing that work of generously interpreting Laudna since the beginning, but nothing ever sticks, so it's becoming less and less worth the effort.

I'd have to go back through my archives pretty extensively, but early on, the going expectation for Laudna was that she would explore the idea of being one of the bystanders in a larger story as someone killed simply because of a passing resemblance to someone the Briarwoods wished to send a message to; that we'd get insight into Whitestone during the occupation from someone who wasn't freed by Vox Machina but rather killed, indirectly, because of them. However, not only have we not gotten that, but she also was chosen for being special: Delilah chose her as a vessel because of her inherent sorcery. So then it was perhaps about that tension between finding power in her sorcery vs. warlock levels - Pâté seemed like a clear setup for Pact of the Chain, after all - but then Marisha admitted she had no intention of taking that third warlock level, and always just planned to play Laudna as exclusively leveling in sorcerer, until FCG attacked. And meanwhile, there's no exploration of those sorcery powers, either.

Speaking only for myself, I've been interrogating "hey, why is her backstory that she was chased out of everywhere but for the most part everyone is mostly fine with her?" and "in 30 years she did nothing about Delilah? Really?" for quite some time. There's a number of questions that are not just unanswered, but lack the hints that this negative space work would provide. And to be clear there are ways to explain those things! This meta does a good job of talking through why she may have been chased out, and I've floated, in the past, that even Delilah's unwelcome presence was better than the absolute silence of being truly alone. But the work to support these fandom theories, again, is not really being done at the table, and moreover, even if it starts being done...it's episode 70. It should have come up in some capacity.

Marisha said (to be clear, somewhat jokingly) in the 2022 ComicCon panel that "Yeah. I don't want to think anymore. I'm tired," re: Laudna but the thing is...honestly, in my opinion? A character with Laudna's premise requires far more work than Beau or Keyleth to do well. Not only is she tied into one of the most famous events and entwined with one of the most famous villains of Campaign 1, but she's got 50 years of backstory! Beau and Keyleth are in their early 20s! (I could make a whole other post about this but character intelligence does not equal how hard they are to play; Imogen is an immensely tough concept that Laura's doing a good job with and she's lower INT than Laudna. I'd rather play a wizard than a character like Grog any day of the week because I genuinely believe that the acting burden for making a character like Grog sympathetic and believable without going into cheap mockery and parody is immense).

Going back to that statement, it really does feel as though every 4-Sided Dive episode or panel, when Marisha talks about Laudna, it's always just that she was envisioned as being over her trauma, and the premise was always just "make that creepy girl from her nightmare". And even then: it's fine if she'd done that - simply made a creepy character who was here to be creepy and cheerfully macabre - but through gameplay it's become clear that Laudna is not over that trauma (her arrested development being one of many options), and has acquired new traumas to boot, and for that matter never was really over it given that she displays intensely but they come up so inconsistently that there's never any follow-through. I agree with you completely that the idea of her often seeming fine and happy and then having spirals is believable and true to life, but one does need to actually follow through on the spirals - I think a lot of us finally threw up our hands when Laudna's believable, well-played, and justifiable anger and resentment after being thrown across the world away from half the party, essentially pushed into a fight that isn't her own, being betrayed by Bor'Dor, and feeling Delilah's return melted away without resolution. If you want to make a character who's over their trauma and go-with-the-flow, I feel as though step 1 is to not have an eternal reminder of one's trauma permanently stuck in one's head. "Warlock who dislikes their patron" is actually a premise that requires quite a lot of thinking and effort, and we are consistently not seeing it.

I think what's most telling is that the defense of Laudna for the weird freakout this past episode is both vehement, and in conflict with itself. Is Marisha just making a joke (that didn't really land with anyone at the table nor much of the fandom, and was taken at least semi-seriously by both)? Or is it actually great and good that Laudna is incredibly traumatized and clingy and we should all hope she becomes even more clingy and codependent? When even the people who are shielding Laudna from even a whisper of criticism can't agree what Marisha's doing, it's pretty dire, especially when that criticism is "this character feels directionless and incoherent."

So getting back to negative space: It's my hunch that there just...wasn't a lot of clarity to Laudna's motivations, and the questions in her backstory weren't answered. She's creepy and she's kooky, Sun Tree corpse, Delilah in her head, met Imogen two years ago, was friends with a little girl at some point (which we only know from 4-Sided Dive, which is, to be clear, bad that it's never come up in-game). We don't know how she feels about her sorcery powers other than a vague enjoyment of their creepiness...but she also sees them as a way out from Delilah...but she also barely engages with Delilah and hasn't done anything to get rid of her. We have no sense of how she got to "the worst thing that's happened to me already happened" because while it's completely fair to play her as feeling that way 30 years later, I highly doubt she felt that way as she cut herself down from the Sun Tree. So as a result, it's hard to pick a direction because that foundation is lacking.

The thing about that negative space is that to do it well, you really need to know what you're trying to convey. Which is also why, as you say, characters with much simpler backstories are fine; Fearne was basically hanging out at her grandmother's place until EXU and her parents left when she was very young; she is curious about her parents and loves her grandmother and is a chaotic fey entity who was sent into the Material Plane with the Weave Lens, and mostly she just wants to explore and have fun and hang out with her friends. Ashley just needs to...play Fearne like that, which she does with aplomb. The complex setup for Laudna demands a huge number of answers in the backstory, and my guess is that Marisha does not have them. I think the problem isn't with the acting (in fact, I'm fairly confident it isn't, because, again, I know from past characters Marisha can do this); it's that Laudna's concept prioritized the aesthetic, mechanics, and facts of the backstory, and didn't adequately fill in her beliefs and motivations, so she's just flailing. I also suspect from the most recent 4-Sided Dive and the most recent SDCC panel that Marisha is specifically looking for interparty conflict, and to be clear that's valid...but again, to do that believably and well, Laudna's philosophy and motivations and characterization need to be much more clearly established than they are.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag #long post #critical role spoilers

[weaselbeaselpants]

The 'Quinton v Nebula'clique' drama

[[[ DO NOT BOTHER THE PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS POST]]]

I saw on Twitter that Quinton had filmed a response to one of his critics whom he had a more personable interaction with. After going through all the info laid out by non-biased, non Wikitubia sources that aren't gushing abt shit that doesn't matter, as well as I guess what we'll call the "opposing sides" here's what I can surmise:

A yt named FlowersGothic had some kind of parasocial interest in Quinton and really wanted to be his solo editor and more* irl

-> Quinton himself also has/had his own parasocial attachments to people, namely Lindsay Ellis and Sarah Zed, I think. I def remember how the two expressed publicly that they aren't into working with him after (I think???) he trauma dumped and was waaay to emotionally volatile when asking to be their friend, which naturally turned them away and creeped them out. Whether or not he was definitely creeping on either women is unclear but yeah I get why they were uncomfortable.

All parties involved here already know this, but it's not Lindsay and Sarah's responsibility for Quinton's validation or feelings of rejection. they don't have to be friends w him when they feel like he pushed their boundaries. I do feel like, frankly, a lot of these receipts are being presented as worse than they are by the 4chan/KiwiFarmers doing the digging...if Quinton's going to be called a creeper, it better be by the ppl he hurt and not randos who don't even like Sarah or Lindsay abt how they should feel...

-> Flowers took her job as editor waay too personally and also messaged Quinton drunk twice, on Halloween saying she wanted to be more than friends

-> Quinton said no. Like Ellis and Zed, he's not responsible for Flowers' feelings and validation, just her paycheck which he said did pay her fill on

-> Flowers did a 180 and said she now hated him, apparently blamed him for her emotional problems and state and started to compile a list of grievences she's had and spit that back at Quinton.

-> Flowers has been presenting these receipts as absolutes for awhile now

-> Quinton for the first time responds on his second channel to Flowers accusations; presenting his side and also saying Flowers' is using half-truths and sometimes straight up lying

-> Dan Olson and Lady Emily, friends of Lindsay and Sarah respectively have vague tweeted today very obviously abt Quinton. Don't know exactly what Olson said, but Emily def is implying that Quinton = bad

-> people are now wondering if Flowers is somewhat responsible the schism and that the 'Nebula Clique' is siding with her and other people's own biased thoughts against Quinton as fueled by their own less than positive circumstances with him.

It's sad. I haven't watched anything by Flowers. I think I would, actually, but these are some very heavy things she's accusing here and things she's being accused of. I don't actually know any of these people exactly, but none of them seem like liars -if anything I see Quinton as being a little bit waywaywaay too honest sometimes? Not understanding like Contrapoints, I guess, but you know- tmi?

As an outsider, this looks like a matter of a lot of hut feelings and neurodivergents' judging other neurodivergents' behavior based on their own bad experiences.

I hate calling the Nebula crowd a 'clique', tbh. As someone who is always on the outside of other friend groups and so know the feeling of jealousy and exclusivity, I think it's easy to just look as any gang of well-netted creators as a "clique" when they could very well just be protective of each other. Considering the bs Sarah and all the former TGWTG-folks had to deal with I get their apprehension of Quinton.

I also tho really get Quinton as someone dealing w similar issues as him, and I'd be heartbroken to find out he's lying or even just accusing someone else of lying.

Gosh I hope this blows over and gets resolved and doesn't reach the pos drama channels out there.

#quinton reviews #sarah zed #sarah z #lindsay ellis #breadtube

[spicyicymeloncat]

Okay I’ve got beef. Peace and love to all of you but I have Ninjago beef How many times has Wu said “There’s something I haven’t told you yet?” Because I feel like every time there’s a villain that he’s met before it’s kinda just justified that he hadn’t yet told the ninja? And also certain pieces of information? Like Morro and Aspheera, the two Wu-focused villains are literally villains because Wu told them too much. This criticism is doesn’t make sense to me at all and I’m gonna ramble about it below. (Disclaimer my opinion if you disagree with me dw abt it you’re cool)

Like villains wise, he’s told the ninja about Garmadon like it’s one of the first things he tells Kai. I don’t know if he even knew about the overlord, considering that was his father’s enemy. Chen was locked away on an island so why would Wu tell the ninja about him yknow? Like Wu lived in a monastery away from the city idk if he even knew that Chen ran a noodle business. And why would Wu tell the ninja about Morro? One that feels kinda personal and two, why would he be worried if Morro came back, he was dead!

The first time I feel like this applies is with Nya’s powers but I feel like this can be explained with the fact that he trained the og 4 and Lloyd out of necessity due to the prophecy they’re all in. He’s not going to train Nya when 1) he had 5 students already and maybe that’s already a handful, 2) it was an attempt to keep her safe 3) she became samurai x and had her own thing. He only trained Nya as the water ninja because again, necessity. And Ik he used to have other students but I think Morro’s story implies that he trained them as a way for searching for the green ninja, so again it’s out of necessity.

The second time I think the joke applies is with Acronix but that was very intentional and it’s about how Wu is trying to face his own enemies on his own instead of leaving them to his students. Which, tbf, I think is valid, if he didn’t like lose. He’s trying not to put that pressure on already pretty busy kids. It’s not a perfect solution but it’s a tough situation and I think it’s an understandable decision.

I’m not sure Wu knew about the dragon and Oni thing and he was a baby by the time it was relevant. Maybe he did but in a world where there are barely any Oni and dragons, it’s not a very relevant thing to bring up, especially when effectively he’s human.

And then there’s aspheera. Who, like Morro, Wu also did not expect to return at all, considering the last time he saw her was when he was a child and that was several centuries ago. Like do you want him to set up a class where he just trauma dumps about every bully he had in middle school?? He is so old I’m pretty sure every warlord that ever existed in Ninjago has beef with him. Also none of the other seasons are even connected to Wu’s past. Seabound has Wojira and Nya’s but that’s like, Wu’s dad’s past.

And character wise it makes complete sense that Wu doesn’t tell ppl stuff. The two personal villains to Wu are literally villains BECAUSE Wu told them stuff. He told Morro about the green ninja prophecy and the guy DIED. Yeah it makes sense that Wu the prophecy from the ninja. And he told Aspheera the secret to spinjitzu and she used it to overthrow the serpentine. Like these two are villains because he told them too much. So it makes sense that he doesn’t really want to tell other people things anyways.

I didn’t even used to like Wu that much but every time someone makes that joke, it makes no sense to me and it makes me upset and pushes me further into stanning. I only like Wu bc Wu slander upsets me because it just feels like misconceptions and inaccurate interpretations. And yeah there’s no right or wrong opinion on a show and if you have an opinion then let’s go. It just feels bad when a certain interpretation is widely popular despite not really being supported in the show. Or maybe it is supported in show, and I just don’t see it. Idk, either someone needs to explain it to me or I need less tumblr. But yeah every time anyone makes a “something I haven’t told you yet” joke my attachment to Wu gets stronger, because I spend so much time going over in my head why he makes sense.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #if you feel like this is targetted at you then it’s not it’s targetted at the fandom as a whole because everyone makes the same joke I #I couldn’t possibly be talking about one person there’s so many of you #ahhhhhhhhhhh #rage #peace and love #your opinions are okay I just hhhhhhh #love you all really I just wanted to say my piece ykn #Ninjago wu #ninjago analysis #this is me coming for your bones

[girlwithfish]

but it is really gross how small someone can make u feel. do they do it on purpose. or maybe just lack self awareness and accountability

like at certain times I'd be out w my ex either at school or out on errands and hed talk about smth while we're like standing in a line that I don't want him to really be saying for everyone to hear. like once we're getting on the bus and he says I have dandruff in my hair which is like ok but why r u saying this when were getting on a bus where everyone's silent . And its not like I'd get angry at him but I'd just be kind of embarrassed and tell him quietly to like not say stuff like that when we're around other ppl bc I don't like it. and that shld b a valid reason and he shld say ok sorry right??? or at least say he'll stop. but he'd just be so argumentative and have to turn it on me and would tell me no one else could hear him and I'm being unreasonable or something. and at the worst calling me crazy or irrational or delusional and using my mental health against me to discount me which is very evil in my opinion like it made me feel crazy for years

and hed do the same w like talking abt personal stuff btwn us or pertaining to me when we'd be at a food court on campus in line and idk. it's like he just never heard me, or he did but he chose not to regard anything I said or wanted. if I was uncomfortable with something it really didn't matter and he would always find a way to argue and put himself over me and make his opinion or perspective final say and he's the rational one im the irrational one, always

or like this other time when we were in hid brothers room and there were like 8-9 people (his cousins his siblings us etc) all crowded in there and we were talking to his cousin and I wasn't looking at her directly and idk I'm weird w eye contact but he pointed it out out loud instead of like quietly in my ear or smth and that really bothered me. nd that entire time wld always criticize me for how I socialized but that's just so much other stuff. like idkkk it's just weird and also annoying like u r the most annoying man ever and also I never want to be w someone who values me so little like that again. and its insane bc these type of ppl will tell u to ur face that they love u or say it's not true when u bring up that u feel they don't value or respect u blabla and they're making u feel these ways but their actions show otherwise. I guess sadly I had to learn u cant reason w ppl who disrespect u over and over. but ppl like that really make me mad. jsut self absorbed type ppl who always have to be right and lack accountability and maturity... idk

[strangertheories]

I have to be honest here and say that I think Bylers are being extremely disingenuous while criticizing Mlvn. It's really not that badly written in comparison to other ships. And Mlvn is the only ship that's been there since S1, sorry but this is a fact whether or not they are separated or deal with issues in their relationship. And i think it's disingenous to claim that they fight all the time when they have one of the best and cutest moments given to them in S1-S2. And in S3 every couple have fought. Oh my god, Joyce and Hopper fought in that season all the time, they were bickering. Lucas and Max were said to be broken up like 6 times. I think judging Mlvn based on S3 and saying they were falling apart in that season is disigenous when they were not portrayed that differently to other romances. Like... Jncy, anyone? They were certainly not fine at all in that season either.

And the 'being separated' thing that ppl talk so much about? Well, look at Nancy and Jonathan now in S4, they spent the entire season being separated and having problems, in S3 they were having problems as well and fought. Jpper also had a 'separation' arc going for them. Lucas and Max technically broke up, again, and were not talking up until the point Lucas decided to go to Max.

I love Byler and I support the ship but I also have to be real here when talking abt something or analyzing the narrative and relationships. Just bc a couple is given problems does not mean that that couple is 'falling apart for 2 seasons', when the writers did make a point of getting that couple together in S4 after initially breaking them up in S3, and then giving them a monologue moment in S4... Let's be real guys.

I semi agree? I do think a lot of people are super hypocritical when slagging off Mlvn or when they act like people are stupid or have no media literacy for shipping it. But the issue for me is not that they're given problems; it's what those problems are. Because I preferred Mlvn to Byler in S1 and S2 and to be honest I still feel so happy when they get together at the Snow Ball. Also this post is gonna be a long one, sorry guys!

But in S3, the relationship problem is that Eleven does not know how to exist outside of her relationships to other people. Her whole perception of the world is based on Hopper and Mike and in breaking up with him and becoming friends with Max, she's able to realize that she has a certain fashion sense and likes Max's comic books. When I saw that for the first time, it made me root against Mike and Eleven. Eleven has spent her whole life inside of a lab and has not been able to discover herself; her character had the most development when they were split up. In S4, she needed Mike in order to defeat Vecna. She's reliant on him and bases her identity off of him. I don't think the relationship is toxic, that's too extreme, but I don't think it's good for Eleven. At the very least, I think her and Mike need a break pre time skip.

Then in S4, Mike is unable to say I love you to Eleven not because of commitment issues or a fear of losing her but instead because he needs to feel needed. Which is not a good thing! And I mean this absolutely for Byler as well. It makes it seem as though Mike's relationship is based on a need for validation but not love which makes the I love you come off as disingenuous. And this isn't me, I know tons of people who went off of them in this season because people thought Mike didn't love her or only loved her for her superpowers and they weren't Byler shippers; they were casual viewers.

I just feel like each season they picked an end point with Mike and Eleven and worked backwards. And that worked amazingly in S1 and S2 where they were kept apart firstly because they didn't love each other yet and then because Eleven literally couldn't see Mike. But once they had no external force keeping them apart, they settled on the idea that Mike and Eleven would say I love you in S3. But in S4? They just wanted that big climax scene at the end so they worked backwards to come up with a reason why Mike wouldn't say I love you to El and in my opinion it made it feel more like he didn't love her.

So yes Jopper argued but it was because Hopper was a bit emotionally stunted and needed to acknowledge his true feelings and be more emotionally open. Lucas and Max broke up over petty things but clearly knew they were still together and later were forced apart due to Max's depression (the relationship helps her recover, not getting away from it, but Max still pushes her loved ones away anyways). Johnathan and Nancy had a really interesting conflict where both of them were in the wrong. But the writers, accident or not, created a plot about Mike stunting El's personal exploration and then a plot where they decided Mike had a compulsive desire to feel needed to the extent where he wouldn't have confessed his feelings if not for a lie from his best friend. Because Eleven didn't even need him, Will did (but again, he shouldn't need that validation regardless).

So when I say they're falling apart, I don't mean that having problems is bad. The issue is that the writers in my opinion did not put in enough leg work to meaningfully fix those problems so now their relationship just feels like it is making Mike and Eleven miserable and that they are both needing development. And I don't think it's inherent to the dynamic, I just think the writers struggled to resolve issues so made them up, accidentally undermining the ship. It just feels like the only way to fix these problems is a break up or even a break or anything. That or these problems were intentional for Byler.

And this is all subjective of course, but yeah that's my thoughts. I am being real because these are my genuine thoughts and I'm very not disingenuous. I say exactly what I think on my blog and I will critique every ship, not just the ones I like. These are just my honest thoughts on why Mike and Eleven have been falling apart for me in S3 and 4. And it does make me sad because I think there is definitely an alternate version of that season that would've made me like Mike and Eleven because I really loved them before S3 and was excited to see where they'd go only for the writers to highlight the biggest issue in their relationship and not really fix it. Sorry if this comes across as harsh, I have no disrespect for people who ship them, these are just my personal thoughts. Thanks for the ask, it's nice to hear your perspective (:

#again this is all personal nobody get annoyed at me please #anti mileven #byler

[mandalhoerian]

u’ve def succeeded at making her multidimensional!!! vera’s relationship with marvin was so fun and i enjoyed it sm, which tbh going in i wasn’t expecting. it feels like u put a lot into their dynamic and their feelings towards each other and the way they react (also i’m such a sucker for the way vera criticises marvin for behaviour she also does. i think it’s such a fun detail) to each other and. how much they care. ik it’s a leon fic but i love the fact vera has other important relationships and plot points (like with the recording thing) outside of the overarching romance. and don’t even get me started on the plot there’s a reason i’m sending this ask lmao

ngl i have so many thoughts about nttd. as i said it’s something i’ve really enjoyed reading so yk. ty for putting up with me sending these asks in ! i get v nervous abt interacting with ppl online so sorry if these are a lil disjointed

ABSOLUTELY CRYING !!!!!! THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK AND SENDING THIS! YOU SAY "PUTTING UP" BUT IM RICOCHETING OFF THE WALLS IN MY ROOM READING THIS PLEASE NEVER THINK THAT I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!! (and dont worry about being disjointed or not and please write the way you want to! i get the nervousness!!! and please dont hesitate to write me again if you want to share your other thoughts because i WANT TO HEAR THEM 😭)

marvin and vera make me BAWL he is so special to her and has done so much for her, there's layers upon layers to their relationship that im so frustrated that i'm not able to portray right -- like, he was so essential for her to become who she is from a frightened, introverted, traumatized child yearning for a family to belong to a loud-spoken, outgoing and cheerful young woman secure in herself.

and like. vera is a people pleaser seeking validation at heart and mirrors what her caretaker would want from her and/or what the person she's attached to is like unconsciously. when she was a child she was in the image of irons and umbrella; and when marvin took her in -- even when she doesn't know it, she chased his path in life and became a detective of some sorts --- and finally!!!! when she met leon and claire she also mirrored them and embraced their core values, which are just in nature when it's clashing with the guilt she carries and they rise her up from the cowardly nature she has at the beginning of the fic. sorry im rambling but i want to say that i really wanted to go beyond romance and explore other themes and such, im so happy to hear it worked out!

and like YOU'RE SO RIGHT on her displaying the behavior she criticizes from marvin, it's an overarching theme in the fic and i think, makes her human. she makes sense to herself in her head but marvin doesn't. hypocritical, really, but it is what it is HAHA

Vera having her own objectives and her story (her own "mechanics" as a "video game character") was very important to me because like. what's the point of writing an OC if otherwise? they have to have their plot!!!!!! SO HAPPY YOU'RE ENJOYING THAT

#an ask for shai #me shaking with the nervous energy with the strength of a thousand suns of a chihuahua as i write this

[just-a-queer-crow]

Every day I come on Tumblr and see a political post I immediately get burnt out

#I’m just tired #I feel like a lot of ppl on here don’t actually do any research into what they’re saying/supporting #like yes it’s valid to have criticisms of politicians #but plz do ur research before hand #it’s like that one post that went around abt Kamala #it bothered me cuz so many ppl supported it but when u looked up what happened #it wasn’t close to the truth #there’s so many more things to criticize her abt then that #coming on here and seeing all the news abt how ppl like me are just getting oppressed #it fucking sucks #and then seeing people from other minority communities get oppressed #I just feel so empathetic and it’s very overwhelming #politics #inaguration

[ablednt]

it's so weird to me how white cluster bs on here seem to get off on being callous and edgy (racist and antisemitic) and its mega put me off from cluster b circles on her as a black jew w npd and bpd. like when i was a kid i only bonded wit this 1 other kid who had low empathy (white) and we got on great for a while but they would call me racist and ableist slurs "just to see my reaction" pull on my hair, throw chairs at kids "for fun" and generally just do violent and racist shit toother kids and then say they couldn't help it. and as adults they still say what they did to me and those kids wasn't that bad. because they didnt like. srsly injur us. and u don't get to decide whether the trauma you inflicted on ther ppl is actually bad or not? esp if ur wwhite and its racially motivated. like they'll just prodly admit to violent ableism antisemitism and racism and then wonder why we're untrusting. like sorry i have 0 sympathy for "recovered" bullies esp if their white. that's why ur literally the only antipsych/cluster b white person i can stand bc the rest use their symptoms as excuses as if they didn't traumatize their friends of color who dealt w similar symptoms. and then bragged abt it nd downplayed it

God your valid that sounds fucking awful to go through??? And yeah in general y'all are so correct when you point out how goddamn awful the vast majority of white NDs are like so many of us forget that we're white before we're ND and that needs to be addressed like and also I think that we (white NDs I mean) need to be really harsh with each other about it like full disclosure the reason I've been able to examine my behaviors and do at least what I'm hoping is the bare minimum of human decency here (not an invitation for praise or anything/g I just don't think I should be giving myself any credit here) is because I've had people be very direct with me and harsh with me about it.

You don't need to hear it of course but God the worst part of the white ND community is the idea that we need to be coddled about unpacking our racism like no we don't lmao also it really is the bitches who are like "omg I'm a cyclepath I'm so evil!! I'm so tough I can take anything!" who will throw a whole fit being criticized over blatant racism for more than half a second, huh?

#hopefully this response isn't weird i just got out of therapy #so i got the post therapy jitters (dissociation/lh) #god though that sounds so fucking awful that you went through shit like that???? i hope karma bit them in the ass fr

[brackenfur]

thats the thing too like ONE of bramblesquirrels biggest issues that ive already discussed at length is brambleclaws huge desire to be liked and how he cant handle squirrelflights criticism of his (usually wrong) choices but their trust is honestly built on a Lie too.....like the fact is squirrelflight chose to continue their relationship in sunset and still had issues w brambleclaw continuing to be close to hawkfrost but never telling her that he was training in the dark forest w him/tigerstar and also was pretty much chill w a plan to take over the forest.....like thats kind of. huge. whether or not u like that squirrelflight didnt tell him abt the kits imo ive always been :/ abt ppl who get so angry at her for that but are fine w brambleclaw being like ‘ok sure’ when tigerstar and hawkfrost discussed taking over the entire forest and having that knowledge that firestar would have to die for that to happen and almost letting hawkfrost do it. like thats a little huge for him to never tell his wife and then when he has a valid reason to be upset with her, he lashes out at her and completely ignores her bc she didnt do what he wanted and showed that she placed her relationship with her sister on the same level as her romantic relationship (which is a very valid and healthy thing to do and shows that brambleclaw was also very jealous to have squirrelflights trust and love in leafpool be near what he wanted her trust in him to be)

#i actually rly love dissecting things that i didnt realize when i was younger its fun for me #'ur a hater' ok so #shark noises #wc

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03, ep10 (part 1)

“ What to do? & how to do it? the answer & the method are so simple, so simple but difficult as hell. it was hard for me to get them, & that’s exactly why I treasure them/ makes them valuable”. kyo~ This is my favorite quote in all anime.

How many times a domestic abuse victim was told just leave this abusive partner? report them? easy. just make a call. Report your abusive parents? tell someone. easy. Just speak up. It is true. It is easy but difficult as hell. To believe it is your right to fight. No, to believe you deserve to fight. to Live. This abuse is not a punishment you must endure. Hope is not dead. How simple yet so difficult to do that. ugh! my heart!

- Seeing Death vs Facing Death: ( The abuser who was stopped):

Abuse is a form of slow death. An actual intentional murder of an innocent soul. Abusers suck the life out of their victims & kyo’s biological dad is the poster monster for that. His appearance:

thin deathly demeanor, lack of nourishment, excessive drinking, lack of desire get out of the abyss, wide eyes, tiny pupils, manic laughter. shaky body movement. pathetic outlook at things.

heavy breathing, lack of logic & distorted facts, blurry speech, bizarre mentality, toxic behavior, tendency to hurt, injure, both physically & verbally.

inability to grasp reality, desire for inflecting pain on others, finding joy in that as it justifies his entire toxic mentality.

Fear of being hurt like he hurt others & being paranoid since he KNOWS he should receive punishment.

Kyo stood watching this man spit, rage, shake, scream. The man from his past, the authoritative figure in his early tender years, the person who must always be right: a parent. Facing his dad, Kyo’s entire gradual change was fantastic:

Kyo went from feeling utter fear from this man, hatred towards him, grief at the loss of a father & a mother, to force himself to stand his ground & not leave” easy but difficult as hell“ , to talk ” easy but difficult as hell“ , to announce that isnt gonna die ” easy but difficult as hell“ to say I’m loved & I want to to be with someone ” easy but difficult as hell”

to then realize the source of his mom’s misery isnt him after all, but this jerk! & not crumble at this realization ” easy but difficult as hell“ to grief over his mom’s tragic life & still announce again that he’s anit throwing his life away ” easy but difficult as hell“ to still look at his dad with pity rather than immense hate & anger ” easy but difficult as hell“ to remove his hand & leave him behind in the past while he moves forward ” easy but difficult as hell“ to say “ i’ll come visit again, cuz I anit afraid of you anymore, I’m not running, but I’ll try to extend a hand if you wanna do the same one day. It is your choice to be the abuser who must be stopped or the one who is atoned! you can choose, dad! We heard his choice as kyo was leaving, didn’t we? locking himself in an eternal cage that he made for himself. After all, he is the monster in his own story by his own choice.

-Seeing death (1): Kyo watching his mom’s suicide is a traumatic experience especially considering she chose such a graphic way to exist this world. Kyo once said to tohru “ mom went flying”, he now said“ mom threw her life away” very graphic ways to explain her death both literally & figuratively. This alone coupled with his father accusing him, resulted in a 4 year old screaming” I’mma yuki & kill myself, this would make you happy, dad”. This explains kyo’s 2 meetings with yuki as kids“ I hate you” at the sohma estate, the 2nd meeting “ I hate you” at the street. Mimicking the toxic behavior of the dad. Why didn’t kyo mimic kazuma? cuz trauma doesn't work like that. Kids can live safely for time then one traumatic experience shatter their self-worth into an endless cycle of self-hurt, low self worth & anger issues or withdrawal. The writing that set kyo/yuki against each other is perfect.

-Seeing death (2): Kyo watching kyoko’s death hammers all the insecurities of child kyo deep down into teenage kyo. Kyoko too, went flying, blood everywhere. too much pain happening again, crashing hope & killing his fighting spirit over & over. Be with tohru? why? to kill her, too?

-Seeing death (3): Kyo watching tohru’s injured body. Yup. You caused this. not by pushing her or failing to catch her. No. but by hurting her with harsh words. by forcing her away from you.

-Facing death (1): Kyo facing his dad, the symbol of deadly-abuse. To stand & announce to live is huge. -Facing death (2): refuse death: being caged till death, -Facing death (3): To say, I wanna be loved & love someone, life is not just being outside, heck! kyo was outside for 17 years! life is abt being with those who give it meaning! -Facing death (4): To not demand others to die as a punishment. Walking away from his dad without igniting the cycle of revenge & hate. ahhhhhhhhhh~~~  Chef’s kiss!

-Seeing eye to eye: ( I don’t need to be you, but I appreciate you):

Kyo & yuki toxic relationship has been ongoing since their birth. The moment kyo’s dad was dismayed that he got the cat of all zodiac & the moment yuki’s mom was delighted she got the rat of all zodiacs. From that moment it became: look how lucky the rat parents? You shamed me? Look how pitiful that cat? eww! stay away from his filth. The explosive nature of kyo’s tragic fate tainted him with the blood of his mom & the daggers of his father’s hateful words, while the nature of yuki’s sheltered & locked fate tainted him with fear & isolation. They meet & both carry out the feelings of rejection & hate all while envying the other. The toxic nature of their relationship consist of fights & condensing words. Tohru connected both. Through her, they became civil. Even talking abt perverted shigure. Now that she is hurt, they are lost without her. Their lives are empty.

Yuki’s “ kyo has his own pain & reasons”  (to not see tohru) is my fave line! even better than all the epic lines after they confess their feelings. cuz this like happened before they connect. it shows that, I see his pain, I get he has his reasons. But whatever issues he have shouldn’t hurt tohru. this is when yuki interferes in kyo’s choices. For tohru. This is also when kyo really allows him to. For tohru. Had tohru nor be part of the fight, kyo wouldn’t even engage in it & yuki wouldn’t initiate it.

-“I wanted to be you!” : Kyo said it first. I loved this so much! Cuz kyo said I hate you first! it is so fulfilling that the truth is now out. From kyo first. Cuz really... that hate was all toxic inheritance from a toxic father & a toxic system.

- “Why do you have to say it firs!” Yuki was mad, cuz he was struggling with it for the longest time. to be kyo. He even mused on how kyo interacted with ppl in school, got himself his own mini kyo. lol. studied how kyo filled tohru’s world just by existing. yuki can't do that for tohru. he looked for someone whom he could do that for! yuki/machi scene at her house paralleled kyo/tohru scene at her room when she was sick (se01, e023) & when they eating the somen together (se02, e02), yuki/machi chalk scene paralleled kyo/tohru scene at the beach where he coaxed tohru to tell her mom’s story (se02, e07). Yuki really was having a hard time finding his true self & accepting it without needing to learn from kyo. It is hard to say “ i admired you” after being rejected by you! so kyo saying it first helped yuki say his after. Also, both boys were hella shocked they admire each other. Like both were deeply shocked! stupid boys! XD

Side Notes:

Kyo’s confrontation with his dad is furuba’s most powerful scene & most well-written one! From the fear of facing him, to talking to him with low voice, to physically stopping him, to the exposed last piece of locked memory abt the mother, to the freedom gained by walking forward! Heck, even how it was weaved psychologically to perfectly mimic children’s self-defense mechanisms & children copying their parents theme. The realistic depiction of abusers both in their most powerfully menacing moment & in their weakest cowardly moment. Top-tier writing! Hands down my fave furuba scene! Can’t ask for better! Can’t even imagine better! genius- writing Takaya-san!

The boys had a necessary fight & confrontation & the yuki’s entire speech was valid & perfect speech. However, as usual, I’m not a fan of how violence is depicted in furuba. I was actually “warned/ ordered” by an anon to not “ sh*t” on the boys fight scene. I don’t know why someone who’d read my reviews would think i’d have anything but love for both boys. I criticize the writing not the characters. Also, furuba fans have always been good to me, I state my opinion frankly & they talk to me! “ talk!”. You don’t have to throw virtual fists over different perspectives on fiction. Talking kindly does magic, also having different opinions is natural & normal for humans.

I love yuki so much, he’s one of my top faves in furuba & I get why the boys would quarrel & throw fists. I get the history between them, the current state of mind, their emotions & mentality & I get it’s fiction & drama that needs its “ OMG” moment. However, I cringe when I see violence used as a bonding moment in fiction in general. That’s just me. I wish the fight was done in a more artistic style without showing that scene where yuki corned kyo & punched him in full view of the screen. (again not hating on yuki nor the fact that they needed to fight). I’m jus saying I didn't need to see a one-sided beat up from a character I love to another one I love. That’s just me again~ feel free to enjoy this moment to its fullest. It’s fiction & I’m not judging anyone at all, nor hating anyone from real life or fiction <3<3<3.

Yuki’s last piece of character development is in my part 2 review! Along with machi. Also, yuki’s Japanese VA was awesome!!

Also, let yuki have deep various facial expressions!!!! ugh! In the fight scene they did yuki so dirty with his hair covering his eyes all the time! then followed by low quality shots of him breathing! Why?! The voice acting sold the entire excellent emotional rage more than the animation! Yuki can look pretty even when mad, heck! screw looking pretty! just give him deep facial expressions to mach his feelings! boy was hella mad like he never was his entire life! always forced to wear a mask or be diplomatic! now he’s screaming his lungs out, you hide his face??? really?? Sigh~ the anime always do this wit yuki, replace facial expressions with hair on eyes or having his eyes without light. I wanna see them expressive eyebrows so bad!!!

Another powerful VA performance was both kyo’s dad VAs! both the Japanese (with his excessive breathing) & the English VA (with his range). They sold the mad abusive character! they gave me chills!

Also, I sound like a broken record, but kyo’s both VAs did phenomenon in the dad’s scene & tohru’s scene. Honestly, I only watch the dub to hear Jerry! I learned his name & would watch the dub for him!

Akito, Arisa, Kureno in part 2 of my review as well.

Shigure/yuki returning home scene is call back to ep1. Ok, everybody loves a call back scene & the full circle thingy. but C’mon! you dont have to copy everything! the walk, the scenery, its purpose, dialogue & all! The anime really took advantage of kyo being missing. XD

Tohru’s dress/top color matches the color of kyo’s old hat (The hat). symbolic of him finding her? As if he did find her when they were children? cool. I love this detail. But i do NOT love this color on tohru at all !! lol. it is so dull on her. The dress style/ design mimics her same dress in se01, ep26 as she was talking to kazuma & kyo fought him. Their first intimate moment after nearly loosing the other. Heck! tohru was even hurt on her hand as well. but the color was a nice pastel yellow. It suited tohru. The hat’s bluish-greenish color matches tohru’s own pajama at home!!!! & kureno’s hospital pajama! T_T... why couldn't the hat be red!!!! a color that both represent kyo & yuki! both were compared to red before~ oh well~~ minor issue~

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #happy paper #final season #part 1

[domjaehyun]

Omg if you're chatty would you mind sending me some friendship help too😭😭

Tbh i figured this out to my best ability now but i think its always nice to get a second opinion, i had a friend since kindergarten and we were really close until high-school when we had a break off freshman year, for a short story, i told another friend something critical in a way about her which she told someone else and it got back to her, tbh its not as bad as you may think but early minds yk, i apologized alot and never said more about her but she talked mad shit behind my back to more people when i kept quiet and kept it between us anyways, later on we got it fixed ig, 10th grade for us was casually talking knowing we were still important to each other but i got really reserved i was finding myself out so i distanced myself from her and others who i felt didnt approve or support my way of coping, junior year we got better but because of our different interests we got a bit more cold, senior year, i think we got back in a way to how we were, could be maturing on both sides and finding comfort in each other but it was finally a chance to see ourselves good again, casual talks here and there have always been the norm but we really stopped doing that and when we did it was good until it was basically just me seeking her out, she had personal things going on majorly her becoming a mom, which i had to find through her sister, but i think this really ridged us because i knew she'd have a different chapter in her life which is fine but i dont want to feel bad for always seeking her out when she can do the same, sure i know its heavy to become a mom at a early stage of her life i completely understand, but should i feel like bad friend for not trying to help her more or should i leave as is because there's no hard feelings for letting ourselves kinda fall

omg *cracks knuckles* lets do this thing (under a read more in case this gets long / ppl just dont wanna see it djfgjksdf)

okay so right off the bat: finding out someone’s talking abt you behind your back, esp a close friend, really sucks so i feel for you :( i know technically you did it first but like. weighing it out, what you did doesnt sound as bad as what she did :( oof okay that’s a loaded question i think and there are diff answers i could give :///// lemme see

if she just became a mom and she wasnt expecting it—hell, even if she was—she could probably use a lot of patience and understanding right now. parenting is NOT easy and if she’s got other personal stuff going on, it sounds like she’s probably struggling and might not be as forthcoming about needing/wanting help as she should be. this is from my personal opinion, but i think that it would be a very kind thing of you to stick by her side rn esp w the baby !! she’s probably scared/stressed and losing a friend is a lot to handle esp bc you guys have such an entangled history together :(

when you say “trying to help her more,” what do you mean exactly? you can be a helpful friend, but don’t bite off more than you can chew!! when you say help, do you mean w the baby or with her personal issues? either way, it is valid to be concerned about her situation and even to voice your concerns to her (but in an “i care about you and want to make sure you’re doing alright with all of this going on” way…. tone and delivery are super important in a conversation like this) !!! however, if YOU’RE not in the state where you can handle being that kind of support, then i def don’t think you should feel like a bad friend. there’s this metaphor/quote i rly like that’s basically like “you can’t fill other people’s glass if yours is cracked” (i botched it but i hope you get the drift) and i like. try to live by that tbh!! like on airplanes when they say to secure your own mask first before helping others; you’re no good of a help if you don’t even have all YOUR ducks in a row !! so if you don’t think you feel up to helping (no one should be forcing you to, btw.. i hope u know that) her through the stuff w the baby and other personal stuff, i would maybe communicate that to her!! try smth like “i know you’re going through a lot right now and i don’t want to downplay that, but i just need you to know that i’m also having a hard time (you can say w what if you want or not! up to you) and i wish i could help out more but i just dont have it in me right now. i will be here for you as much as i can.”

but this goes both ways; miss girl is busy busy busy trying to keep a human baby alive and happy and post-partum depression is a bitch if she has it. either way the hormones go crazy dfjgskl but my point is that just like you might not be in the right place to help her out, she probably doesn’t have a lot of mental energy left to help you out either :( but yeah i think that becoming a parent (i mostly mean moms but there are other parents who struggle obvi…but im gonna assume she’s a single mom,,, if i’m wrong then whoops my b fjdgdfjkdfgs) or namely a single mom is a very sudden and scary thing if you don’t feel ready and sometimes even when you do !! if i were to imagine myself in her place, i’d be feeling very scared, stressed, worried, and lonely right about now. as much as you can help it, try to help her not feel so lonely? i wouldnt be saying this if i thought this was a doomed friendship btw like . i think you guys have been through a lot together and that she could really use a shoulder to lean on rn if you can manage it!!

when it comes to the reaching out thing, this part is tricky to me. sometimes in friendships, ppl fall into roles naturally. some people are more proactive and reach out more, whereas others, for whatever reason, don’t reach out as much. i’ll be real? i don’t reach out often … or like . ever really dfjgkgjkdf (i have my reasons !! don’t judge !!) but i really appreciate when people reach out to me bc i’m worried im annoying/burdening them so. if she’s anything like me, she might not want to burden you w her issues? so it could really mean a lot to her if you reached out every once in a while to let her know you’re thinking of her and you care about her !! maybe tell her you guys can skip the formalities when you catch up and stuff? i find that when my friends are really drained and i want to be helpful, i say smth along the lines of like “you don’t have to explain anything to me if you dont wanna; if you wanna text me at 4am to ask me my favorite noodle, i’ll just answer you, no questions asked.” i even tell some friends we can skip the “hi, how are you” stuff (i hate small talk like that anyway) bc they shouldn’t have to lie and say they’re good but they also shouldn’t feel pressured to dump their issues on you yknow?

this is so long dfgjksdfj sorry i rly do feel chatty rn :’) but i hope this helps even a little bit???? if you wanna send her a text saying smth similar to smth i said here, i wouldnt mind looking at it before you send it! GOOD LUCK I RLY DO HOPE THIS HELPED

#answered #advice #anon

[n3konomicon]

it’s weird how that insufferable part of Twitter that’s really obsessed with canceling genshin impact of all things always like, either removes the things they’re criticizing from their context entirely & makes them seem significantly more ‘problematic’ than they actually are or just straight up creates completely false claims abt the game to accuse it of racism (like the whole “genshin is totally racist because they said ppl hate xinyan for her dark skin” allegation, which was just.. completely untrue), and it’s so stupid & frustrating because there are very valid things to criticize abt genshin on the racism front, namely the fact some of its primary ‘grunt’ antagonists — the hilichurls — are humanoids with very dark/black skin that live in tribes which seem to borrow elements from indigenous cultures/ways of living (they have ‘shamans’ for example) & they are literally characterized in-game as ‘low intelligence’, ‘barbaric’, and ‘uncivilized’ monsters and a big component of gameplay is that you’re supposed to literally exterminate their communities upon npc’s requests or just while adventuring bc they’re exp fodder. like.. you don’t have to make shit up, that’s something right there you can critique, why are people so dumb.

#genshin impact #hilichurl #it’s depressing bc like.. I really like the hilichurls! they’re endearing #but I don’t think I’m stretching when I say the way the game did them is really racist #hilichurls #mitachurl #racism #mihoyo #xinyan

[lilyevansgf]

No but you’re literally 1000% right about Tiktok and the marauders! I’ve literally seen entire videos dedicated to hating on fics because they have some problem with it (let’s be real, the problem they have is that they’re popular but not ATYD)! I genuinely don’t understand how they have fun in the fandom if they can’t interact with anything they deem ‘problematic’ which is basically just anything. Like, why can’t we just have fun and vibe?? Sorry for ranting lmao ((and also this doesn’t apply to everyone on Tiktok there’s so cool content on there!)

yeah!! there are some valid criticisms of certain fics that i wont name but the way people go out of their way to make entire specific video SERIES calling out fics by NAME...i can’t imagine that ever happening on tumblr, at least not this little side of tumblr. just block the tag and move on yknow

you’re so right about fics getting hate just for not being atyd. even atyd itself got so much hate from within the atyd fandom? the last time i was really on tiktok was probably around two months ago and i remember atyd fans digging into the tiniest details of that fic trying to find every last problematic aspect of it. like is it really that serious?? the author herself has said she has issues with some of her writing in that fic and she just did it for fun, she’s not some professional novelist who expected this much fame. i think ppl are just looking for reasons to fight tbh. we are in the harry potter fandom in 2021 we have bigger issues to be thinking about than if some random line remus said in a fanfic was moral or not

i just find tiktok to be a very argumentative site!! everyone is so defensive! why! i just wanna make friends and talk abt my favorite characters

#anyways. lmfao #love u guys #asks #important

[communistkenobi-archive]

hi! longtime listener/firsttime caller. I am wondering your view on engaging with the personas of IRL ppl as part of fandom. the tags on your music rec post say that you don't endorse the artists as people bc you don't pay attention to that sort of thing but you've also talked abt ppl like g*na c*rano negatively (I 100% understand, I am NO fan of her as a person either.) you write awesome meta about media & fandom, and idk if i've seen you talk about this topic before. have a good day/night! :)

edit: putting this under a cut bc its so long lmao

I think it’s basically impossible to not be aware of celebrities within fandom (by which I mean the actors/writers/developers/etc involved in the media said fandom is built around) at least on SOME level. I mean even something as casual as people making memes about Filoni being the saviour of SW, or dunking on Favreau because of the season 2 finale, etc. Which is totally fine! I think actually talking about the real people involved in a piece of work helps to contextualise a lot of discussions about the media they produce. I even like those sappy articles about Pedro Pascal talking to the baby yoda doll like it’s a real baby or whatever, those things are completely harmless and pretty normal.

The issue I have is more around “stan” culture and people prioritising their personal and emotional engagement with specific celebrities over serious discussions about them as real people (see: people getting mad at others for rightly criticising Gina Carano’s racist and transphobic behaviour on twitter because they like her as a celebrity). So my flippant comment about not paying attention to celebrities is a clumsy way of me saying I don’t really like “following” celebrities on social media or using my free time to keep up to date on their personal lives. Again, I don’t think it’s inherently bad if people do that, it’s just that fandom trends towards extreme idolisation of celebrities that is deeply unhealthy.

The flip side to that is people keeping track of celebrities specifically to remember all the bad or problematic things they’ve done. And I do that to some extent too (see again Gina Carano), and I think it’s extremely important to keep in mind that these people are exponentially more influential than their audience with the things they say and do, so it is 100% fair to scrutinise their behaviour, especially if they’re spouting really harmful or bigoted shit. But also I don’t have the time or energy to keep track of every harmful thing any creative person whose work I admire has done, and I don’t think that is a healthy thing to do either. because you will ALWAYS find skeletons in their closets. And also like, at a certain point you will be incapable of enjoying anything - I wouldn’t be able to enjoy Star Wars AT ALL if that were the case. Again, it’s entirely valid not to engage with media because the people involved in it are shitty, and I’ve also done that, but by the same token I can’t like “vet” every piece of media I consume prior to consuming it. It’s a case by case basis sort of thing and you will have to use your discretion when deciding what you think is acceptable and what isn’t, but I think it’s unhealthy to view “consumption of a piece of work = endorsement of the people involved” OR “intentionally ignoring or getting angry at the criticisms of the people involved in a piece of work because it makes me personally uncomfortable”. The latter is often used to dismiss criticisms of things like racism and transphobia within both the media people are consuming and the authors involved in said media, but I don’t think the only alternative is to hew to the former. They also aren’t mutually exclusive positions because as I said, it’s a case by case thing and also people are inconsistent with how they apply those rules because people in general are inconsistent about their behaviour (which is not a moral judgement - I do this too!).

This is a very winding and long-winded way of me saying that in general, my personal approach to media is to consume it and enjoy it for what it is without focusing on the people involved in said media too much until it is directly relevant to bring them up. A good example is George Lucas - lots of people idolise him for being “the” author of Star Wars and get extremely defensive when criticisms of his work are brought up, and his words are often cited in arguments about Star Wars (“George Lucas said X about this topic in an interview so this is evidence I’m right”, etc). And I don’t think that’s entirely without merit, but I’m much more interested in referencing him as an author when discussing things like say, the racism endemic to SW and how he’s had a major role in incorporating racist themes into the text of SW, as opposed to him like, trying to alter canon by making external comments about it in interviews (“Dumbledore is actually gay”, that sort of thing). One is directly relevant to the text as it exists in popular consciousness, while the other is trying to patch-in extra layers of meaning or lore without altering/updating the text itself (GL also has edited and re-edited the OT like a billion times, but that’s different topic for another day).

So anyway, I’m generally critical of stan culture and my interaction with celebrities in fandom is to admire them from afar and/or criticise their behaviour when it’s relevant to the discussion at hand. Just as I think it’s good to be critical of the media you consume (not ‘critical’ as in being negative but in the sense that you are open to discussing its strengths and flaws as a piece of text and not treating it as impeachable or above critical review), I think it’s beneficial to treat celebrities the exact same way. They are people with flaws and biases, and those flaws and biases will inform how the media they are involved with is shaped to varying degrees. This is doubly true when the media in question is dynamic and evolving (as SW is), so the text may in fact change (see: the Tusken Raiders’ portrayal in The Mandalorian as compared to the Original Trilogy).

I hope that makes sense lmao. I also want to make it clear that generally speaking, I think it’s important to prioritise criticisms of media & celebrities over like, your personal discomfort with people bringing up serious topics like racism or transphobia or etc in media, because there are people who are already uncomfortable with those harmful things being present in the media you’re consuming in the first place - you (general you, not specific you) just happen to not be affected by it in this case. If it feels uncomfortable having it brought up to you, imagine how uncomfortable people directly affected by those things are when having to confront bigotry in something that should be fun and easy entertainment like a Star Wars movie.

#misc.txt #questions in spaaace #long post #lmao sorry this is so long and rambly

[vldkeith]

whats the ml shit?

oh god were u on yesterday?? basically kenzie and i were engaging in criticism of the way a certain artist (she lies at midnight) portrays klance and how it’s gross and fetishistic and awful. and some ppl who saw that went over to the artists’ actual blog and inboxed her abt it—one person specifically said that a gay boy kl blogger (me) was uncomfortable with the way she portrayed mlm relationships, and her response was to basically just. not respond. i don’t remember exactly but i think she was like “i’m just sitting here” or w/e and didn’t offer a valid explanation or any defense, she just disregarded it. she got some other anons as well that she posted, all calm, but eventually she closed her inbox bc she said it was getting full. i can’t know if she ever received hate.

after that she very passive-aggressively reblogged her most recent fanfic (which was the catalyst for this round of criticism by me and kenzie, bc the writing in it made us wildly uncomfortable and me specifically) and then posted some art that, again, engaged in the practices she was criticized for just hours ago. interspersed throughout this were posts about how it’s all hEr OPinIoN and one i specifically remember talking about how masculine keith was that made me super uncomfortable. she was just criticized for this, remember.

subsequently, some other user (sh*nce shipper, lol) dropped kenzie’s url in the replies of one of the artists’ posts, saying she was the one who was “sending anons”—a statement which isn’t true on any front, because *i* started the criticism and we never told people to talk to the artist—and kenzie got two anons calling her names and being generally vile. kenzie closed her inbox, i messaged the user who posted her url and told them it was a shitty thing to do, nothing came of that.

a few hours later, a popular klance blogger received an ask talking about one of the artists’ fanfics and how awful it was, and that blogger published the ask publicly and agreed with them, talking about how gross the artist portrays klance and how there’s clear evidence that their intention is fetishization. kenzie and i felt the highest we had in our entire lives. multiple people have come forward talking abt how much they dislike ml’s shit, including just now when a popular kl writer messaged me—though i MUST say they did not directly mention the artist or her work, they were just talking abt how much they appreciated my view of klance. but still, the timing was there.

since all of this, ml has deleted all mention of any of this except for some asks supporting her. to the best of my knowledge her ask box remains closed? i’d rather not go back on her blog to check; i don’t want to see that klance, it upsets me.

but that’s the story. kenzie and i are shocked that people actually cared about what we said, and moreover, decided to listen and Act. we’ve made these criticisms for months and for the most part they just remained in our little blogosphere, but it seems this time they’ve actually spread out and reached people outside of kenzie and i’s direct influence/interaction. it’s kind of scary but also seeing people understand and feel the same way makes me so happy as an mlm, you have no idea.

and that’s what you missed on glee

#*inhale* OK #asks🌟