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tempoaryblogformightyjensblog · 3 years

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After a Longass time, I'm gonna make a response post to a post from @itsclydebitches. Not sure if I'll acknowledge All

Of it, but still..

1.Thats, the opposite of what the First episode shows, the first episode shows that the Military presence in Mantle dosent really do anything to actually help them with the Grimm. With it even being joked about as usual for the Military by Nora. The next episode also states that wasn't even the reason James had for it. It was to handle the 'eventual' Panick.

2.This and the recurring point of this later on is something I kinda want to address, because it's sort of what I was trying to say in My ask but I should go into more detail.

The point is basically that If James was shady for what he did, then So is Ruby for being willing to work with him for that long...I kinda want to mix this with a different Criticism I heard. That Ruby not trusting Ironwood was horrible and ungrateful because of all the good stuff James had done and how sympathetic and well meaning he was. The issue is that they are both 2 halves of the picture that ignore the other half, wich was what the heroes actual response was.

Him being sympathetic, clearly just trying to help and all the Good stuff he was doing is why they are willing to work with him and help with things. But Ruby didn't like his shadier actions either, wich is why she didn't trust him completely. And also? ""Nora dosent agree...But Ruby, the leader, does. She pushed Ironwood to finish Amity somwhow", that....isnt What happens, we see After Nora yells at James, ruby walks up to him and tells him more calmly that his actions, his management of Mantle and such were only helping Salem and it's what was making it easy for Salem to frame him. And earlier on we saw her with the other protags suggest working with Robyn. That's not 'Reaping the benefits of his actions even if they don't like them', that's not liking some of his actions but still trying to Understand him, and hope to reason or talk him down. Basically...Well it's a display that the other charachterization for Ruby, that she was a judgmental child who considered anyone who went beyond her standard of perfection to be Evil, isn't true. She tries to help and Understand James because she knows despite his flaws he is trying to do good, she tries to reach out to him and get him to see his actions were flawed.

Hell, the Jobs they were actually given were jobs where they could actually help soften the consequences of James actions, like Ren and Nora guarding the wall. the Robyn thing was a direct display that they weren't just doing anything James asked or were perfectly fine with his morally ambiguous actions. When ordered to attack a Huntress who was just trying to help, they instead went against his orders and even tried to actually fix things in a better way.

3.This is a few different issues, I'll start by saying that, that wasn't Ozpins problem in the Previous Volume, Some fans and some of the Heroes in there Angrier times think that, But the big thing was basically that Ozpin wasn't trusting anyone With that Info, that's what separates it from Rubies situation with James, Ruby wasn't trusting James because he actually did have many traits that made him look untrustworthy. And...well Finishing Amity and the plan is not pointless even with Salems immorality. Ruby dosent 'Know' That her being immortal means that the whole plan is pointless for 2 reasons, 1 is that she never had the mindset that it made it all pointless, she was actually distinctly against that when the others thought that under the Apathies influence, and makes her stance clear later, that Salem being Unkillable doesn't mean she's unstoppable. And 2, she dosent 'Know' that because....Its not true. Even if they can't directly kill her like James is planning...Were explicitly, directly told in Salems first actual appearance in the show that Humanity United was a threat and that was why she was going to ensure she divided them. Not to mention that...It isn't even all about the plan? It's made clear that global communications being down was a really bad thing and fixing that alone would help.

4.Im just gonna address one point here...It was not 'The Majority of Mantle' Being taken, were told that they were not even close to being done evacuating.

5.Basically what I said at 2, But to also state, James wasn't an Unambiguous Bad guy in Volume 7, He was in the Wrong In Volume 7, but he wasn't meant to be a Villain yet. The point of James charachter is basically he's someone who meant well but was highly flawed and made bad decisions, and instead of growing from his mistakes, he doubled down on them and let his flaws consume him. I'll get to it more later, but, that doesn't mean he was always evil or meant to be, Also...Jaunes license was given to him by James but, he was not part of the Military being fused with Huntsman, especially by this point. And with Winters words in her and James fight, I have my own issues with that fight or Winters Arc, but I don't think that point holds up either because we weren't meant to see Winter as unambiguously a good guy in Volume 7. Her words in there fight was after she had changed, that dosent mean we're supposed to believe she was a hero while working under James. It just means her POV changed after leaving him, now she wasn't following her programming of being blindly obedient anymore. Penny called out Winter for her being willing to follow through with euthanizing the Winter Maiden, Marrow calls her out in Volume 8 asking the Weiss question.

6.Well, to answer the questions there, were told in episode 5 what the recources were. Clover says how they were taking 'Construction resources', were told this again by Penny in the Car ride, wich makes total sense. They are changing Amity so that it could serve as a shuttle, so needing Construction stuff makes sense. While we may not be told how much power James had explicitly, they do give us a decent idea, that he had way more then he should. It's said in the Council meeting that they set in Checks and balances to keep him from overstepping with his seats, and that he basically just Ignored them to pull the actions he did in Volume 7. And Watts gives us both one Major decision that shows James flaws and gives a Clue as to part of the reasons Mantle was crappy as it was, saying how James updated most of the code in Atlas after the fall of Beacon, but 'As Usual' None was updated in Mantle. Aside from showing a...Truly Spectacularly callous move on James part, it also gives a big clue as to part of the reason Mantle is as crappy as it is, That Atlas and James basically treat Mantle like an afterthought and neglects changing things there to make things better, resulting in the City's state that we see. And, I imagine that being surveillanced and patrolled almost constantly wouldn't be ideal, and it's established by Winters line in that first episode that not cooperating with Personal was a punishable offense. I think you also....Picked a really bad example with Rhodes, if anything, Rhodes is probably a perfect demonstration of why being complacent or loyal to a system is bad for Huntsmen. I think if he would have loved to help Cinder more, it's just that he was loyal to the System and wasn't doing anything to upset the status quo despite knowing it was wrong. If issues like that existed, then it makes James specialist program, wich is specifically supposed to be Huntsmen trained to be loyal to the system, an even worse idea. Also I sort of feel like the bits at the end are sort of a false equivalency. I explained Ozpin amd Rhodes but also...Well for one, while we don't see portals line up in those specific areas, the plan was to have Jaune explain what was going on with everyone. And Qrow, Marrow and Robyn were still taking in the other Ace ops,they knew the plan so they would likely just head over to the nearest portal after, and...Maria and Pietro weren't there. And in James case, it wasn't just him 'saving who he could', it's that he could have tried to do more but didn't because he didn't want to risk it, and as Volume 8 showed, they really did have lots of time to evacuate people and could have found a way to Launch Amity. And...Well in his case there's the little fact that, as his Convo with Oscar makes explicit, James plan involved leaving the rest of Mankind To the dust and at Salems mercy.

There are problems with RWBY, but I don't think it's shoddily written, partially because I don't really find it 'particularly' flawed and think the good far outweighs the bad. And you know what? To some degree, I agree. I do think there's a weird bias towards authority in the FNDM, but maybe alot of fans are too dismissive of criticism, I do think to some degree we should acknowledge the RWDE and such aren't all right wingers and there's now a Vocal part of it that are on the left or members of minority groups. I don't agree with a ton of the things they say, and think most of it dosent hold up, but instead of just dismissing, perhaps it's better to look at things in detail and give proper arguments agaisnt them. So I won't treat you like an idiot, I'm going to give a full rundown on why I don't feel like it holds up under analytical scrutiny.

For one, while it doesn't have those specific issues like in the real world, I don't agree with this Criticism because I feel it is the one that sort of ignores the worldbuilding and what's been shown or said about the Military and the world itself and not the show, It sort of feels like people just bring up the basic concepts that would seem reasonable and ignore how the show executes certain things. For one, the military was a leftover from a time when they were meant to fight against other humans, It was something an Authoritarian state held over after its defeat and reformation, James and the Military helped Jac as he turned the SDC into the horrific corporate empire it is, Covordin shows that Nationalism is indeed a bit thing and that there were high ranking officers who were fully comfortable with the possiblity of just waging war on the other Kingdoms again. And then there's the specialist program, I've seen people sort of distill it to its very basics to make it seem more reasonable, describing it as just stuff like Huntsmen having rules and such, when the show displays it being way more screwed up then that. It literally involves indoctrinating people as students, were shown Elm reprimand the protagonists saying how they don't need to think about Orders just follow them. As both Volumes show, the culture of the program is deeply screwed up and unhealthy for them, were shown how they taught stuff like repressing your emotions and how deeply unhealthy it is for them.

And...Furthermore? If we're judging by how things are In Universe with the show the world built...James way of doing things is, completely absurd. I already dislike Cynical 'This is the REAL world 'Types IRL. But....In the world James is in, his strategy is just....

He lives in a world where negativity causes monster attacks and the villains whole Shtick is manipulating narratives to cause disarray and ensuring people stay divided. James strategy involved closing off Atlas from the rest of Remnant after they were framed for causing the Fall of Beacon, never bothering to clear there name when sleet and Camilla say he could easily do so, he dismisses both his image across the Globe and in Atlas, and dismisses what the people of Mantle want and the stuff his actions currently cause, all as Neccesary sacrifices when that's all completely insane and Relies on basically ignoring absolutely everything about the situation they are in and how there enemy works, wich again, Ruby points out, that he was actively playing into Salems hands and making it easier for her.

I think it's a decent display of the Tunnel Vision James has, he's prepared for the negativity of the END result of his plan and made preparations for it, but he...Basically ignores the consequences his actions are having right now and how that will affect his ends.

Overall...I think the issue is that James is not meant to be the Bad guy through Volume 7, and I feel like its not that the show 'contradicts' it's pure black and white take on things, it's just that it wasn't there to begin with. Whenever a Major flaw Ironwood had from the start is brought up, it's claimed that it means he was supposed to be 'Always evil'(admitedly some fans as well), when it dosent, it just means his flaws and darker aspects were always there and he didn't jump off the slippery slope instantly like some claim.

Were meant to sympathize with James, understand him, ECT. We're meant to want to see him get better, to be escatic when he does almost get better.

Overall, I don't agree with the idea that James was a reasonable charachter who was bastardized, the show set him up as flawed pretty well already, he's sympathetic because he's designed to be sympathetic. He's not potrayed as a Villain through 7 because he wasn't meant to be til the end.

Also...Well, even if you still felt that him 'Just' abandoning Mantle was still just morally gray...That isn't dropped in V8, it's bascially dropped not 2 episodes later. Where not only does he shoot Oscar but Oscar pointed out not only was he abandoning Mantle, but abandoning the rest of Mankind. Wich James just responds calling it an 'excellant philosophical point'.

#rwby #rwby volume 8 #rwby volume 7 #Anti-RWDE #I can finally sleep now...#itsclydebitchsz

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lunaschild2016 · 5 years

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Close To You - Part 1[Eric/Devi]

Rated: M

Title and inspiration from Close To You by Maxi Priest

Summary: Devi and Eric’s story continues, but this time we see things from Eric’s eyes. It was her belief in him that sparked them finally coming together, but where did it really start for Eric? The life of a childhood sweetheart, conspiracies, and the fate of the city all hung over his head. He didn’t need to be wondering how to get close to the tiny amity with fire in her eyes and a mouth to match. He didn’t need to worry and wonder about how he could find a way to just be close to her.

@kenzieam @pathybo @jaihardy @every-jai @ericdauntless @beautifulramblingbrains @bookgirlthings @jojuarez26 @oddsnendsfanfics @offroadinjandals @singingpeople @iammarylastar @irasancti @captstefanbrandt @clublulu333 @fuckthatfeeling @tigpooh67 @ex-bookjunky @jughead-wuz-here wuz-here @badassbaker @beanzjellly @beltz2016 @meganbee15 @affabletimelady @scorpio2009 @gylisaa @geekybeyondallreason @violetsonthelam @kyloswarstars @emmysrandomthoughts @kgurew @beltzboys2015-blog @slytherin-princess-25273 @whatwouldbuffydo666 @jaiboomer11 @holamor @wealwayskeepfighting @original46 @blakefc @xtheserpentx @artisthedgehog

She had an attitude I can't explain

You never know if you’re in flame

Tying me up with elastic words

I'm on a countdown till I get hurt

Her blood was hot she burned so bright

A neon sign there in the night

It's hard to say if I went too far

My heart still bares the scar

I just want to be close to you

And do all the things you want me to

I just want to be close to you (I just want to be close to you, baby)

And show you the way I feel

[Close To You; Maxi Priest]

Part 1

“What’s wrong with her?” I ask for what feels like the hundredth time since I stepped foot into the shit hole that Dauntless calls a clinic.

Once again I watch the nurses flutter around the girl on the bed, clucking like hens and completely ignoring me.

I run a hand through my hair and restrain myself from punching something or someone in frustration but I can’t completely restrain my impatience at being ignored.

That’s not something I’m willing to stand for, initiate status or not.

“Will someone tell me what the fuck is wrong with her!” I move up to stand right in front of one of the nurses that have stepped away from the bed and loom over her.

She’s wearing blue scrubs, meaning she’s from Erudite and most likely the one person in this place that’s actually fully qualified to have the title I see on her little badge clipped to her uniform.

“Eric Coulter, right?” She eyes me like a hawk and I feel irritation coursing through me. For a second, I also wonder if she’s one of Jeanine’s plants in Dauntless. That’s dismissed when she gives a strained smile. “You look a bit like your brother. I work with him from time to time. He mentioned your coming here.”

I narrow my eyes, not returning her smile and look past her to the girl still laying on the bed, motioning with my hand in her direction. “What’s her status?”

Candice, the name indicated on her badge, bristles at being ignored but answers me through thinned lips. “I have to call someone in to evaluate her, but we are drawing blood for tests and monitoring her until then.”

I look back at her and hesitate, wondering why the hell I’m getting involved and why I didn’t just leave the Amity girl in her dorm bed for someone else to deal with.

“You said you work with, Dr. Coulter?” I asked with appraising eyes, watching her closely.

“I do.”

“Then you won’t mind working with him again now, will you?”

I have no real power here in Dauntless. Not yet anyway. If I was making this same order to someone wearing black, I’m sure I would be sent away with a sharp reprimand no matter how intimidating I know I can be.

But Candice is Erudite and I have power there. My name is known. If Candice is a plant of Jeanine’s she’ll do as I say but report it back to her. If she isn’t, she’ll still do as I say.

Because, as much as I might despise it and have wanted to leave all that shit behind, I rank higher than her in their hierarchy. No matter if I wear black now, to them, I will always have true ‘blue blood’ running through my veins.

As expected she gives me a curt nod before moving off hurriedly. The other nurse wearing black gives me a look before following, and then it’s just me and the girl on the bed.

My fists clench to the sides of my body as I scowl down at her.

I hate that she’s made me care enough to step in and use my name for something when I promised I would get leadership on my own, no matter how much Jeanine tried to throw her weight around.

I hate that I’m thinking about anything or anyone else besides what I came here to do and who I’m doing it for.

Jules.

The thought of her has tightness in my chest that’s growing tighter the longer I look at this stupid tiny girl laying in the bed.

She’s not Jules. There’s no doubt about that.

Jules is tall and graceful with a smile that can infect even the snootiest of Erudite.

Jules who prefers dresses and ridiculous hats. I never have been able to figure out how she gets them all, and most of them are so ridiculous in order to get a rise out of me.

Jules who has always been able to make me laugh even when I’m in the worst fucking mood and even my brother can’t stand to be around me.

Jules who can sweetly cut a person to pieces and still leave them wondering if she was complimenting them or telling them to fuck off.

Jules, the best person I have ever known and the one I really want to save.

When I look at the amity girl, that’s who I see.

Jules is who I should be with. I should be there helping her and holding her hand or trying to make her laugh, but I’m not and it pisses me off.

Because coming to Dauntless was more important than the girl I love.

“You better not die,” I mutter angrily while glaring at the girl on the bed.

The whispered angry words won’t reach the real target, who I’m really saying them to. But I realize with some surprise that I also do mean them for the girl laying on the bed in front of me.

I turn on my heel and rush out of the clinic as fast as I will allow myself to be seen rushing anywhere. I make it to the training room corridor where control bursts away from me and I sprint into the room looking for something, anything, to make the tightness in my chest go away.

*****************************************************************************************

My brother is not who I expected to see standing behind the door of the office I was summoned to just before dinner but I can’t say the dread I had been feeling gets any better when I do see him.

If anything, it actually gets worse.

He’s standing at the end of a long conference table, hunched over papers and a tablet as I close the door quietly behind me. His presence makes me nervous as hell and I feel slightly sick to my stomach.

All I can think is something’s happened with Jules.

Elijah looks up at the sound of the door clicking shut and his eyes narrow as they take me in. I know he’s doing a snap evaluation, trying to determine a million things in the space of seconds so I won’t get upset about him fussing over me.

Even with all the recent strain on our relationship, Elijah remains the person I know I can count on most to truly care about me and how I’m doing. Even when I do my damndest to drive him and his affection away.

“Jules?” I ask, stepping forward and forgoing all greetings.

Elijah straightens and comes forward as well. I watch him carefully.

I never fuss over him the way he always did over me, like a parent rather than a brother, but I have always tried to watch out for him too. I see the tiredness etched into the way he holds himself and his face. Eyes so similar to mine that have never been able to mask his emotions from showing the way I do.

He smiles tiredly at me and motions with his hands as he speaks. “Jules is doing fine. She told me to tell you that you better be ‘kicking ass and taking names’.” He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “She also says hello and that we miss you.”

I sag a little in relief and nod while clearing my throat that has become thick with emotion. “Tell her I say, same and you bet your ass I am.” He gives me a smile and nod at my response and motions to a chair to sit. I do while throwing out my next question. “So, why am I here?”

“Well, given that you broke protocol and summoned me here, I thought you might want to know what’s going on with the girl, Devanna, I believe is her name,”

“Devi,” I correct him gruffly then frown at myself for caring enough to make the correction. Eli doesn’t say anything, just lifts an eyebrow and looks at his paper before correcting his notes.

“Devi.” He says with a nod.

“So what’s wrong with her? It’s been a day since I took her to the clinic, so it isn’t her just having a cold or something simple like that.”

The first day she had been smiling with enerving energy that just seemed to radiate from her. I almost thought she was going to explode from it there on the train. Even when she was panting and huffing from the climb and run to get on.

As the day wore on the smile faded and she withdrew. Some of the other initiates seemed to thrive on putting her down for anything and everything. Her old faction, her height, her accent...anything really.

Mostly this was other girls. The guys just dismissed or ignored her. Like I have been trying to do.

It was clear after the first night that something was going on with her but no one knew what. I wrote her off by the time we were going to sleep that first night. I just didn’t see her making it. Here we are at the end of the week and I don’t see that changing. I’m pretty sure that’s what my brother is going to tell me, that she’s done.

Once again, I’m cursing myself for not just letting it go and risking myself as I did. Especially now that I know it had been for nothing, because she’s gone anyways.

Then I remember why I ignored all logic and reason. I remember how I felt that night and what prompted me to take her. How small she was in my arms as I carried her through halls, trying not to race along them but feeling a sense of urgency I didn’t really understand.

She was moaning, almost deliriously, but not responding to anyone that was yelling at her to shut up in the dorm that night.

I laid there not saying anything to the others. though I wanted to so badly. To tell them all to leave her the hell alone. Then she went silent and I waited for something, some other sign from her that she was going to be okay.

The others around us were going to sleep, no problem, but I couldn’t. Her silence was deafening to me. I could have left her there and had tried to talk myself into doing just that. Until something made me go check on her and before I even got close I could feel the heat coming off her.

She was whispering something, so faint I could barely hear her until I crouched down beside her. Her eyes opened and they were glazed, she winced away from me and whimpered pitifully but she kept muttering. I leaned in even further and she reached out to grip my arm, and I could finally hear the broken pleading in Spanish.

“Por favor, no ... por favor ... Tuve que irme, abuela. Tuve que ... por favor no me odies.”

I don’t know what it was about her words. Her pleading for her grandmother to not hate her. To understand she had to leave. They weren’t some big revelation, I’m sure all of us felt that to some degree. Worried we are leaving someone behind that will be hurt or hate us for the choice.

It wasn’t so much the words themselves but the way she said them. How strong two of them were, how firm and how much fire was in them as she whispered them out over and over again.

Had to.

As if her life was in jeopardy if she didn’t go. If she didn’t follow her heart.

That was something Jules would do. She followed her heart and come hell or high water she would see it through. No matter the risk.

Did Devi know how much she was putting her life at risk just by choosing Dauntless? Did she even think about how she was nothing like a Dauntless should be in all the physical ways that matter?

But I was thinking like an Erudite with those questions. A Dauntless, a true Dauntless, wouldn’t care about any of that. They would just know there was no other choice. Just like Devi did.

Something inside me broke open for her right then and she wedged herself into a spot that I have hardened to all but two people in my life. Now I don’t know how to make that go away. Tightness starts to creep up on me again, my chest itches and I reach up to rub the spot but jerk my hand back down and look at Eli.

“Some of the others are saying she has the plague or something.”

Asinine.

I know better, and from his look at me, he knows I know better. His lips quirk in amusement and he shakes his head.

“We both know better than that. She is sick but it isn’t terminal…” He pauses and winces before his eyes filled with pain and he lets out a shaky breath then continues while I eye him and carefully mask my own pain “...but it won’t be pleasant for her in the least.”

I nod slowly. “So what is it?”

“Her body is expelling poison and it’s anything but painless.”

“Poison?” I almost shout the question and interrupt him.

Eli holds a hand up to me, a calming motion. “Peace Serum, Eric. You’re aware that Amity regularly imbibes in it, but it seems that her case is extreme. We are talking about a lifetime of daily exposure at high levels. Her body doesn’t know how to function without it anymore.”

I scowl in disbelief wondering how that’s possible and who in their right minds would purposely do this to themselves. But he said a lifetime, so does that mean even when she was really young?

I wave that away mentally and with my hand as well. “So what does that mean? She can’t continue can she?”

Eli shrugs and sighs before dropping his pen and leaning back in his chair casually.

“That will be up to her ultimately, but she’s already waved away the normal method of treatment. I can’t say I blame her. That would have meant removal from training for at least a week if not more depending on how extreme the treatment needed to be. Leadership has already said if that was the case then she was out with no other options available. I was near when the nurse gave her the options and she automatically turned the treatment down, already guessing that it meant she wouldn’t be continuing treatment. She’s staying and will let it purge from her system as naturally as possible.”

“So she’s going to go through initiation while going in withdrawal?” I mutter and look at the table while trying to deny how much that disturbs me especially knowing what I do about how withdrawal patients are treated.

There aren’t many cases where someone gets addicted to substances like I know there was pre-war and the drugs that were common are all but nonexistent for us now. But there are cases where someone gets addicted on the ones we do have and there are even cases where someone synthesizes a substance and then gets hooked on it themselves.

When this happens, the person is isolated and then their system is purged with a cleansing drug. Tests are run to determine how their body is handling the purge and if anything is still off then they are treated appropriately. It can take weeks if not months to treat some of the severe cases my brother has told me about and that’s just from a biological standpoint. Even after he gets done with them they still have much more to look forward to psychologically.

I don’t know if I can spend another night watching her suffer like she has been the last few nights. Now knowing what I do, it’s just bound to get worse and I can’t fucking handle that. “Why give her the choice at all? Why not just send her back to Amity!”

I look up at him when he makes a grunt and I realize that I spoke that out loud. My frustration is coming through loud and clear.

He leans forward with a frown of disapproval on his face. “You know very well they’re going to send her straight to the factionless, not back to Amity. I know you might not care for…”

“I don’t!” I’m breathing hard and rubbing my chest while looking around wildly. “I can’t!”

Elijah’s beside me suddenly and I didn’t even realize he moved until I feel his hands guiding me until my head is between my legs and he is coaching me through my breathing.

When I feel like I’ve gotten ahold of myself, I take the glass of water he hands me and avoid looking at him as I drink it.

I feel like a fucking kid again. Like when I used to have these same kinds of episodes after repressing feelings for so long until they boiled out and over. Elijah always tells me that trying to go through life so emotionally cut off isn’t healthy and I know he’s headed towards another lecture of that kind.

“Are you going to gloat now and say I told you so?” I ask him sourly when I look at him again.

“Have I ever done that?” I can hear the hurt in his tone but don’t respond. If I do I’m just going to end up saying something else hurtful.

I always do.

For being a so-called fucking genius, according to my old faction, I’m useless when it comes to anything resembling social graces. I learned early on that honesty is not the best policy for me. Silence is.

“Eric,” He says softly and leans forward, his arms on his knees and head bowed, “It’s okay to care about people. To open yourself to caring for someone.”

I sneer at him as I scoff, unable to remain silent, hard as I might have tried. “Sure it is. ‘Cause that’s worked out so well for me in the past, hasn’t it, brother?”

He looks up and I see the pain radiating in his eyes. I know my anger and words are opening up a wound we’re still trying to heal between us. That’s kinda hard to do when I’ve refused to talk any more about it.

“I can’t apologize for the way we both feel, Eric and I won’t. You two love each deeply other and that’s never going to change. What you two have is still there and it will always be there. It’s also different then what she and I have, and that has always been the case too, but it doesn’t make what you two share any less powerful.”

I nod and look away, gripping the glass tightly between my hands as my jaw clenches together. “But that wasn’t enough for me to stay, was it? I love her so much I left her when she needed me most. It just proves what I’ve always thought.”

I shrug and look back at him, knowing his next question but also needing him to ask it. Needing to expel it from me just like the little amity is doing right now with her own poison. He’s right I need to talk about this shit. I haven’t been able to until now.

I need to get this all out of my system so I can go back to not feeling at all. Then maybe I can get rid of this new sensation for a girl that has no chance of sticking around.

“What’s that?” Eli prods me softly.

“That I’m not capable of loving anyone but myself. I don’t care who it hurts in the end, as long as I get what I want.”

Elijah rolls his chair closer to me, his blue eyes that are normally filled with warmth are burning with intensity.

“I want to listen to me and listen well. You are not our parents and you have never even come close to them. You could never allow yourself to be like them.”

I listen but I can’t believe the words. I’ve never been able to believe the words. No matter how many times my brother has tried to reassure me of this over the years since our parents all but abandoned us.

His features soften and he smiles at me. “Yeah, you have the habit of pushing all your feelings aside and acting like they don’t exist, but you can never get rid of them. Which is why things like earlier happen. Because, it’s never been that you don’t and can’t care or love, Eric. It’s that when you do, it’s all or nothing for you. Bone deep love is what Jules has always called it. You left, not because you don’t love Jules but because you know that nothing will ever take that love away from you. Not even being in another faction. You said those same words to me when you came to me that night and gave us your blessing. It was something I already knew, but it was also something you had to realize for yourself and one day you’re going to find someone that you love just as deeply but in the it’s meant to be.”

I jerk my head in a semblance of a nod, not bothering to reply how I’m feeling.

I’ve forgiven Eli for taking Jules from me, well, mostly forgiven him anyway. What he says is true, I did come to see that how I love her and how Eli does, they aren’t the same. It’s just that in my mind that doesn’t really matter.

It still hurt and that wasn’t something I cared to open myself to again. I loved her but it hadn’t been enough. End of story.

He pulls back and I breathe a little easier when I realize he’s dropping the subject. Eli leans back in his chair and clears his throat.

“How’s training going?”

“Fairly good, although there was a surprise when it came to finding out how many fears we all have.”

Eli frowns at me. “Did your amount change?”

I shake my head with a scowl and look off. “No, it’s still nine. Which should have been the lowest fucking number among the group.”

“I take it someone is lower?.”

“Yeah. Four of them. The asshole even changed his name to the number of his fears.” My scowl gets deeper when I think of the scrawny Abnegation that’s causing me more uncertainty than he should be. “He’s a concern. I’ve heard some leaders and trainers saying they’re impressed by him. Rankings haven’t been posted since training just got in full swing, but I think we’re neck and neck for first. I’m pretty sure I got him beat in physical, and I don’t foresee fights being a problem, but the scoring percentage for the other stages is a serious concern with his number of fears.”

Eli taps his chin thoughtfully. “That’s an extremely low number. What faction is he from?”

I know where my brother’s train of thought has gone and I can’t say I didn’t immediately think the same when I found out Tobias Eaton’s number of fears. In fact, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to it and what I can do to remove the threat it poses to me.

“Abnegation,” I remark dryly and see him wince.

“It’s the Eaton kid?”

“Yes.”

“Shit.” Eli curses with a grimace then looks at me worriedly. “I know what you’re thinking, Eric, but don’t do anything you’re going to have to live with the rest of your life. You know what they will do to him.”

I shoot up out of my chair and pace around the room. “It’s not like I have a choice here, Elijah. You know what’s expected of me. At some point, I’m going to be expected to have results for them.”

“That’s what they expect. But when have you ever done what those pricks in our faction expect of you?” Eli demands from me fiercely.

“You know why I even bothered to give their offer a second chance. Jules needs this, Elijah. This is how I save her. What does it matter if I turn over some fucking stiff that means nothing to me? Especially if it gets them off my back and me first?”

“Is that really how you want to get your position here? By taking out someone that might be stronger than you?”

I grit my teeth as out the cursed denial, and glare icily at him, giving him exactly the reaction he wants even though I know exactly what the hell he’s doing by throwing that out there.

I call it manipulation and he would say he’s being my own Jiminy fucking Cricket

“How do you think this is making Jules feel, knowing what they want in exchange for her life? Jules knows you as well as I do and I know in your mind you’re already justifying it, telling yourself that any exchange for her would be worth it but how far do you go down that road, Eric?”

The tightness starts again and I let out a growl, spinning away from him and towards a wall. I feel like punching someone and Eli is the only one in sight. “Don’t bring her name into this like some kind of weapon against me.”

I want to punch walls but know we’re already shouting and that will draw attention we can’t afford. We are risking so much already. I stop in the middle of carrying out my need to hit something in anger and just lean my hands against the wall and hang my head.

“I don’t have a lot of options here,” I whisper tiredly.

“No, not a lot, but you do have a few. Eric, we know they’re afraid of you taking the power they covet so much. There was a reason for this and maybe what we need to do is to show them why they were right in fearing you.”

I slowly turn towards him, my mind working double time as my eyes narrow. He waits patiently as I process this, his arms crossed over his chest.

“I’ll need help. Contacts that I know we can trust or that we can get leverage on to make sure they stay in line.”

“I’ve already started working on that. Jules too.”

I want to protest that, not wanting her involved but I know it would be pointless. They made me promise there would be no secrets and that I had to let them help in any way they could if I made this deal.

I gave a stiff nod and then looked at my watch. “I need to get going if I am going to get some dinner before lights out.”

He gives me a strained smile and nods but I see the hesitation. His internal debate and wondering if I will reject his show of affection or not. I step forward and put out a hand which he takes and grips tightly, his hand around my forearm while mine is around his. This is the form of a hug he came up with when I stopped wanting them years ago.

He smiles at me while we still hold firmly. Eli promises to make it for visiting day and that he should have contacts for me soon. We also share words of parting, mostly jokes that have been thrown around between the three of us of what I planned to do once I finally made it to Dauntless. They aren’t as carefree as they once were before our recent falling out, but it does hint that we can get there again given time.

When I go to leave he calls my name one last time and stands there looking serious and worried. “About the girl,”

“What about her?” I ask with a frown.

“I know it goes against what I was saying earlier about opening up and all,” He runs a hand through his hair with one hand and shoves the other in his pocket with the other. “But you need to stay away from her, for now.”

I let all expression fall away from my face and tilt my head. “Not that I see it being a problem for me at all, especially considering she isn’t going to last the week, but why? Does Jeanine know I called you in?”

He shakes his head while I can tell he is warring with wanting to admonish me about my callousness and wanting me to heed his warning for whatever reason. “No. Candice isn’t in Jeanine’s circle and wouldn’t want to be anyways. Something about a friend of hers that went missing or something. So Jeanine doesn’t know I was called in from her, but that doesn’t mean she might not find out from some other source. This girl, she might not actually mean anything to you, but Jeanine is crazy enough to grasp for anything that she can use to sink her claws in you even deeper.”

I feel bile rising up my throat at that but maintain my dead tone and a blank expression. “Like I said, it won’t be an issue.”

He responds with a resigned nod and I’m out of the door quickly after that making for the mess hall. Most of the other initiates had already grabbed food and headed for the dorm which was a relief since I didn’t want to have to deal with them. I ate quickly even though I wasn’t in a rush to get back to the dorm myself. Something about the activity around me and watching everyone go about their lives helped calm me.

Gave me the headspace to think and plan.

Elijah was right about handing the stiff over, it wasn’t something I wanted to do. I didn’t want to win my place here that way just like I didn’t want to have a bit of influence from Jeanine on the leaders to sway them either. In fact, I bluntly told her that was one of the conditions of my acceptance to work with her.

I also know without a shadow of a doubt that if turning number boy over saved Jules, even by way of securing my position, then I would do it and not even blink. If I had to carry that stain on me for the rest of my life I would for her.

The decisions, resolutions really, make me feel lighter. It eases some of the anxiousness I was feeling that I have a solid plan and course of action.

I even find myself talking to a few of the members at the table of the mess hall. I pick at the slice of cake one of the guys shoved at me and listen to them all bullshit with each other, but mostly I just observe things.

I see the stiff slipping from the mess hall, pulling in on himself to try and go unseen like he’s done from the first.

I watch the leaders as they look down at their noses from up on the balcony. Talking among themselves and hardly ever interacting with anyone else. But they’re watching, always watching, to make sure their bidding is being done even if it will lead the faction straight into war.

Max seems to be the one that I’ll have to be the most careful about. I can feel his eyes on zeroed in on me, watching and judging me. Even here when I’m eating dinner like everyone else.

I shift my focus and try to casually look to see if my suspicions are right when I see something out of the corner of my eye.

A small figure hunched over her plate at an empty table far in the back and cast in shadows it’s so out of the way. The tightness in my chest starts to creep back in and I jerk my eyes away, remembering my conversation with my brother.

I know I shouldn’t feel anything but seeing her is a relief. ‘Cause at least I know she’s alright.

So I’ll keep away, but I already know I won’t be able to stop myself from watching.

#fanfiction #divergent fanfiction #divergent au #eric coulter fanfiction #romance #smut #fluff #eric coulter #eric x oc #oc #jai courtney #diane guerrero #eric and devi are back #let's see how crazy eric is

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dailyandrewandaaron · 5 years

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he was lying spread out on some sort of table he wasn't bound but when he tried to get up he found he couldn't . there was a weight of some description on top of him pinning him down . the entire room reeked of sweat vomit and dried blood -most likely his own and the air around him had a heavy quality and strange reddish tint to it. various gory instruments of torture hung swaying on hooks above his head . he tried to stand again but the weight would not budge .. there were fingers gripping at him and jabbing into his limbs . he was being cut, being flayed alive. an arm reached up towards his face with a blunt weapon and hit him.. a dull pang of pain erupted from the side of his head and he could not move his arms up to test the extent of the wound . something was squirming on top of him and he could hear familiar loud laughter, harsh and cruel.

Neil opened his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.

he’d only been dreaming.. it wasnt real - except that -No! - the weight was still pressed on top of him . No, No!! he... it couldn't be .. he was back there.. maybe he’d never left at all .. . maybe it was that part which was a dream after all .. the foxes... little Aaron .. and Andrew ... Andrew was it all a dream? a fantasy? He shouldve known. escape could never happen . It was a dream leftover from a miserable childhood . pain was his reality and it always would be. he deserved nothing more . pain was all Nathaniel knew . even though he almost felt like crying then for the first time in so many years. Had he actually believed he’d gotten out? How incredibly foolish

He still didn't seem able to move or stand and could still hear laughter -but -this time something wasn't quite right - it sounded different to before- softer, happier high pitched and -devoid of malice it didn't sound like his father at all... it sounded ...childlike

he reached and grabbed hold of the thing on his stomach it was warm and wriggling. alive . he dragged it closer to him to inspect it which only seemed to increase the laughter .

It was aaron.

only little Aaron ,sat on his stomach looking extremely pleased with himself as neil slid him closer, the weapon was a green dinosaur held upside down by the tail in a tiny fist

hey little man," he murmured weakly wincing as the child bounced on top of him oblivious to any bad vibes . "my god, youre heavy . maybe Kevin's right . maybe we have been overfeeding you . “he was glad that he hadn’t hurt the child by accident .if he had hit Aaron or pushed him over even in fretful sleep without meaning it Andrew would never forgive him. in fact if he had hurt Aaron he wouldn't be able to forgive himself

"I caught you. I caught you" Aaron singsonged neil wasn't in the mood to play especially this particular game which Aaron was inexplicably fond of but he couldn't think of a way to explain it so that Aaron could understand. he had been careful to never discuss any events of his past in front of the baby monster so instead he made a half hearted attempt to play along.

" yes, that's right. you caught me. “ he put his hands up “ I surrender. Can you let me up now? ”

" you're no good at this game" aaron said accusingly " you didn't even try to hide!"

"sorry little man , guess I fell asleep " he explained groggily. Aaron's shrill childish laughter sliced through him and at that moment with the nightmare still whirling in his brain it was unbearable " could you just give me a minute. he pleaded “My head hurts"

Aaron was merciless "I'm sending you to jail" he announced solemnly. "right now."

" All right ,All right I'm coming " he said unenthusiastically heaving himself upright Aaron’s “ jail” involved nothing more than him being surrounded by a ring of his dinosaurs whom the child informed him with absolute certainty, as if he genuinely believed it , would eat him alive if he tried to escape. He knew from past experience to respect the authority of the dinosaurs to avoid a tantrum from Aaron he sat in the dinosaur ring of shame for a few minutes trying to regather his thoughts " okay, you win, can you let me out now?"

"noo!!" aaron giggled waggling a chubby finger " you're in jail for a thousand years"

"what if i have a chocolate bar in my pocket?" he said Aaron considered this "caramel?" he asked tilting his head in a very Andrew- like gesture. Neil nodded.

Aaron moved a few of the dinosaurs aside and Neil carefully stepped through the gap as to not knock any remaining dinos over and send Aaron into rage. aaron was fiercely protective of his dinosaur army in much the same way as his brother was over his own collection of monsters

Aaron held a hand outstretched waiting for the promised treat. neil fished the half melted half eaten chocolate out of his pocket . " he seem satisfied with this ." you're a cheap bribe you know" he said giving Aaron’s tummy a tickle, “just like a real cop. “

" I'm going to catch Andrew and put him in jail " he informed him joyfully

"you do that . hes probably under the stairs again “ andrew didn't hide very well on purpose because he never liked to be too far away from aaron even for a very limited time . he was too wary too entrust others with Aaron's safety . Aaron hadnt grasped this fact though and just assumed his big brother hadnt understood that the aim of their game was to not get caught . he didn't seemed to mind too much though as it meant he always won.

neil hoped that when Aaron was distracted with Andrew he would be able to go back to bed and take a quick nap to sleep away the lingering horrors in his mind before the night practice without anyone noticing. no such luck

" what are you doing?" Kevin sputtered spying Andrew sat crossleged in the middle of a circle of plastic dinosaurs grinning maniacally "you're late for practice get up, get moving"

" -alas I cannot go!" said Andrew cheerfully “ you see, Aaron sent me to jail for a hundred years “

" only a hundred?" Neil said amused " he sentenced me to a thousand" he shook his head and huffed in mock offence 'favouritism ".

“what on earth .. “ kevin started ..

" you have to negotiate his release” Neil said laughing at the look on kevins face as Andrew refused to move from the dinosaur circle

"for God's sake" said Kevin exasperated. “ this is ridiculous”

“ take it up with the warden” andrew smirked

Aaron appeared to have lost interest in his prisoner and was now attempting to build a tower out of Lego.

"little man , “ Neil coaxed him “ are you going to let Andrew out to practice with us tonight?

"nope" Aaron dismissed lightly without looking up from his lego "he cant go. hes's in jail"

"what if i let you have an ice cream?” he tempted the child. aaron stared at him wide eyed as he been offered the moon.

"you shouldn't be giving him ice cream. besides he already had dessert today " Kevin said stubbornly

" lighten up would you ?one ice cream isnt going to kill him kev . you can have any flavour you want” he told Aaron . “ after dinner tomorrow “

"okay! " he said excitably and released Andrew from the dinosaur prison

"you can't just bribe him with sweets until he behaves “ kevin grumbled disapproving

" well, it's worked so far" Nicky piped up half joking

". You're supposed to set good examples for him not rewarding him for manipulating you"

" We're just playing . aaron loves this game"

" I can see why. You let him get away with too much. He shouldn't even be awake this late"

"you aren't his father " Andrew growled “ don't act like you are”

" neither are you" kevin snapped back " you don't have any idea about about how to care for him properly

"_and you do? “ andrew said incredulous You can't even look after yourself"

" enough .you two ,practice. Now. Nicky put Aaron to bed he'll sleep all through tomorrow otherwise"

"I don't see a problem with that" Nicky mumbled but went to take Aarons hand " i guess it is late , come on little guy. “

"will you read me a story? the one about the boy and the dog ?" he asked hugging Nickys legs.

“oh my god , not the dog one again “ nicky groaned “ ive read it like a million times already. aren't you bored of it yet , you've got other books ,you know”

aaron made a whining sound in response stuck his bottom lip out and clutched his tiny hands into fists preparing to throw a tantrum . nicky gave in to him like he always did

“ all right don't start screaming . ill read it again if you come and get ready for bed now

“ i don't know why you all let him boss you about. “ kevin sighed defeated "you're the adults not him"

“ he learned from you “ Neil replied stonily.

#baby aaron #mine #this was supposed to be light and fun but it got a bit angsty #oops #i realise this is following a plot that only exists inside my head atm #buut eventually it will be complete #and make perfect sense #..probably #hopefully #maybe not #who knows #i got bunch of these in drafts #but all probably nonsense #im making it up as i go along #don't say stupid things

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yourfriendlele · 4 years

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long ask

I saw the post you made ( and first of all since I havent watched harley quinn show so I cant comment on the ship ( though I find it ridiculous that you seem to be implying people who are anti korrasami would automatically be anti bb ( there were people who are anti korrasami but ship bb )

and second of all this is what annoys me about ship wars ( where it can get to the point where one of the characters who “get in the way ” of the ship is demonized ) and with ship wars with one being m/f and other being same sex someone will claim homophobia if you ship say black sun over bb and claim that you would ship say bb if one of them was a dude which is baseless when its a matter of liking the writing or liking the interactions between characters more etc

not to mention the argument when people point out how a ship say korrasami was forced and had no buildup certain people go but there are thousands of straight couples why cant you let us have this one when first of all goodwriting is more important then representation ) korrasami didnt have buildup it was thrown it at the last minute bryke only went to network if they could do at after thinking about how they didnt include rep when they were close to finishing the season finale ( of course they tried to cover their asses by claiming het lenses when no the ship just isnt there it had no buildup or relationship development there had been more buildup / interactions with makorra then korrasami in b4 ( not to mention they fixed their problems with handling conflict by b4 which caused problems in their relationship ) compare all asami got in remembrances was going of course we need you youre the avatar (korras problem at the start was only seeing herself as the avatar and not as person ) mako got a speech about what korra meant to him

and on bb there is/was no buildup or romantic development to bb v1-v6

( there are people who are debating on whether rooserteeth made it canon or not and ( if the v7 stuff is supposed to imply that its forced as hell )

there was no bb moments in v6 that were inherently romantic

people just try to claim these moments were romantic when they really werent and claim there was no other explanation for tihs like blake holding yangs hand when it trembled as she was facing adam which was a show of Im here for you which yang reciprocated on the plane ( and they try to equate bb on the plane to renora on the plane when no its not besides the fact that renora had volumes of buildup were alone in that scene the sun came up and nora did the lean head on shoulders thing) and renora were alone together no one stepped in contrast to bb who were surrounded and friends with ruby talking to blake ( not to mention trying to claim saying that the bb moments in v6 were platonic is like saying nora going thats my man was platonic is bs

Nora was always flagrant about her feelings for Ren. There’s no making “my man” platonic and the hand hold was followed by head on shoulders much like Pyrrha did with Jaune before it. The BB “handhold” is followed up by Ruby comforting Blake as well.

One of the most aggravating things I’ve been seeing in regards to this ship nonsense is people using Adam’s lines (“I will destroy everything you love, starting with her”/“Does Blake make all of her classmates fight for her?”/“What does she even see in you?” ) as evidence that Blake loves Yang over Sun. Oh yes, because the unstable psychopath with a history of being a bad judge of character, especially with Blake, TOTALLY understands how and why she values her friends!

( plus adam is a racist he hates humans a faunus supremacist and see a human and faunus teaming up and being friends as disgusting adam barely knew yang he never saw them interact before so those moments would have been the first times he saw blake with those people ( unless he saw the team fights and given his surprise about yangs semblance

(not to mention adam trying to kill her parents a reference to the I will destroy everything you love which includes friends and family)

( in contrast black sun has had romantic development and teases ( with them showing mutual romantic attraction v1 scene where they first met and the way it was a shot and the angelic choir the v2 and v3 ( where sun flirted with blake and blake blushed and v4 and v5 which had the meat )etc since v1 and even in v6 there was a hint of reunion the departure didnt sink. blacksun has had too much development to just throw it away

the name of representation would just be bad writing the attempts ot justify bad writing with the gay rep excuse is ridiculous and throwing the homophobia card etc around makes a joke of real homophobia same sex ships arent immune to criticism that is equality )

https://rwbyconversations.tumblr.com/post/179603888501/it-was-never-about-that-or-why-sun-went-to

https://eight-of-pentacles.tumblr.com/post/185944273916

I am really annoyed with how

certain bb shippers go to accusation to dismiss criticism focuses on their presumption of their sexuality as the issue rather than how its written. A good love story is determine by how it’s written, NOT by the sexuality of the characters.

“LGBT are historically marginalized and therefore it’s nice they get their main character ship for once.” First of all plenty of media have lgbt main characters now. It’s not groundbreaking. But more importantly, none of that means the relationship is well done. That’s just filling a personal quota. This is a dumb argument. It’s like saying retcon sexualities and ethnicities of existing characters cause we’re too lazy to put the effort in making new ones and you all just get the leftover scraps.

commanderkurama answered:

Yea I mean….its all fine and dandy wanting representation but much the same as they wouldn’t want their first open lgbt characters as villains or killed off, you’d think they’d want their canon couples to be well developed. Most of what they get so hype over about BB is headcanon or trynna reach to connect it to better developed het ships to leech off of their development to make up for the lack of actual substance it has. because I want to have faith in crwby I will say that v7 was just platonic. ( though more cynical people say they threw blacksun out because they wanted to earn points and get a bit more attention by having a same sex w/w ship ( which is annoying they could havedone the same thing with freezerburn weiss and yang werent being teased with anyone and it doesnt throw out any prior relationship teases/development

HEY MAYBE DON’T SEND ME SHIT ABOUT BS BEING BETTER THAN BB etc etc...

Listen, since i’ve posted my comic i’ve gotten plenty of messages saying i’m just not listening to criticism and bb/korrassami/harlivy etc is actually bad and i would see it if i actually cared about good writing bla bla bla.

And i’ve answered some of them, but now im just tired, bc i came to the conclusion that i’m not gonna convice anyone who thinks they’re above homophobia and heteronormativity (bc they’re too woke for that i guess) that, tho i listened to what they had to say, their arguments just aren’t convincing to me.

So yeah, you think bs (or whatever het ship) is absolutely superior and better written than bb (or whatever wlw ship), bc bb is retcon/forced/pandering/just the fandom reaching etc etc, good for you dude, live your life, write your essay and post it on tumblr.

Just could ya’ll please leave me alone now???

Now, if after reading the comic, you’re very curious about what i think (and not what you assumed i think), here are some links to my other responses:

1. BB is going against Monty’s plan

2. Double standarts i, personally, see with same sex couples

3. Refusing to see bb interactions as romantic

4. Yes it is okay not to like wlw ships (no it’s not alway homophobia, but even if i think you sound like a homophobe when you talk about a same sex ship, i can’t really do anything about it, so yep it is always okay not to like a ship, no one is stopping you) + problems i have with each ship mentioned in the comic

If you still, legitimatelly, wanna talk to me about writing (and by all means, please do, i like talking about writing), how about you start with “hello, how are you? My name is .....” and we can go from there?

#rwby #bumbleby #blacksun #yes tagged bs bc i want you guys to leave my inbox alone please #cmon you think im dumb for shipping bb?#fine dude #live your life #just dont send me more essays about this cuz ive read some of them already #and no im not conviced #believe it or not #and frankly #i think we can all understand why i dont want some anonymous asshole telling me lgbt rep is not that big of a deal #submission

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apsbicepstraining · 6 years

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24 Things You Shouldn’t Appear Guilty For Revelling In At 24

At 24, you’re expected to have a lot figured out. Your profession, your personal relationships and your investments are suddenly all up to you to manage- and it’s a balancing act for the best of us. The truth of the matter is, we all need to indulge a few frailties in order to stay sane at twenty-four. Here got a few we need to stop hit ourselves up over.

1. Drinking wine alone.

There may not be many benefits to adulthood but this is indubitably one of them.

Youve stirred it through the years of imitation I.D.s, binge-drinking, nasty next-day hangovers and maybe even a interval or two of moderation.

Now that youve learned to( largely) administer your liquor, youre clear to enjoy it responsibly that is, alone on your couch on a Thursday evening, like young adults. Because you worked hard the coming week. And you deserve it.

2. Dating someone you dont want to marry.

By twenty-four, your Facebook photo stream is nothing but a gallery of ring finger with stones nuzzled onto them. And while the pressure to find your soulmate is seeming realer than ever, the very important to remember that you dont have to find them tomorrow.

You still have time to date around. You still have is high time to get your mettle crack. You still have time to go on bad Tinder dates, requiem over ridiculous hookups and prosecute the guy or daughter who are not able be the one, but who clears you fairly glad right now.

The more heavines you put on noticing the one, the more your sexual love will balk under the pressure. So take the possibility of being chill out, move slowly and give whatever happens, happen. You have plenty of age left to find your future partner at twenty-four years.

3. Announcing to your mummy.

Just because youre a full-blown adult who may even have things like a errand and their own suite you havent stopped being someones son or daughter. And you havent stopped necessary support from the people who know you best.

Its okay to have dates where the world feels like too much. Its okay to not have it together one hundred percent of the time. And its okay to still lean on kinfolk or sidekicks who maintain you afloat. They love you and they want to be there for you the same direction youd be there for them in an instant if they needed it.

So you binged on twenty-five dollar candles. So your living room looks just like a pinterest board but your purse took a trouncing to corroborate it. And as frivolous as those buys may seem in retrospect, its okay to establish them now and then.

Because the thing about being twenty-four is that youre transitioning between life phases. And you sometimes need to indulge in a few transitional objectives to induce yourself detect more like the adult that you are becoming.

5. Leading out and getting 21 st-birthday-style drunk.

You dont have to be completely done having fun at twenty-four.

You may not hit up the dance storey as regularly as you used to, but theres no reproach in used to go every now and then and living it up the direction you used to when you were twenty-one and twenty-two.

You have real world responsibilities now, and with that comes real-world stress. The nature you need to blow off, in whatever method works for you.

6. Missing the hell out of your ex.

Navigating life gets lonely thats an irrefutable fact , no matter how surrounded by loved ones “you think youre”. Its tough to take on brand-new phases of your life all alone, and its natural to miss the ones who formerly took them on alongside us.

Its not weak or pathetic or worrisome to spot yourself missing your ex at twenty-four. Its only human to miss who weve cherished. And you have all the time on earth to move on.

7. Wreaking a position just to get money.

Its okay to not be working your fantasy undertaking at twenty-four.

If youre attracting in enough coin to money your own hire, make minimum payments on your student loans and keep your energy from shutting off, youre doing a whole lot better than most.

Be patient with your daydreams and ideals. You have a long occupation ahead of you to pursue them, and your pragmatism will be represented you in the long run.

8. Expending your money on traveling.

If youre enthusiastic and free enough to travel at twenty-four, future developments self will thank you terribly for having done so. The knowledge you compile will intend more to you than the dreaming mansion or automobile you could have acquired one year sooner had you stayed home and hoarded your paychecks.

Plus, “youve never” know which commitments are suddenly going to pop up and keep you settled in one target. This may be the last chance you have to travel freely, for many years to come.

9. Staying home while everybody else is traveling.

Just as traveling is worthwhile and admirable if its what you truly crave from their own lives, the same could be said of abiding residence.

While your Facebook feed is spate with photographs of your ex-pat friends in Asia, take pride in your own decisiveness and future directions if youd instead be at home advancing professionally. Youre old sufficient to reach your own selects at twenty-four and you dont have to hop on whichever bandwagon examines the most glamorous.

10. Experimenting with your identity.

Theres still so much is high time to figure out who you are at twenty-four. You arent chained to the identity you structured in college or high school or childhood, and you shouldnt be ashamed to keep inquiring yourself.

Dye your fuzz a strange colouring. Get a tattoo. Take up a brand-new sport or brand-new pastime. Its never too late to start something new. You could be a whole new person by the time you stumble twenty-six or seven.

You cant burn the candle at both ends and expect to somehow remain sane. Youre old-fashioned enough and secure enough to know when you need a nighttime in. And the last situation you should ever feel is guilty for cashing in on your right to have one.

For some, a frightful promotion and compensate heighten is an accomplishment. For others, simply getting out of bed and taking a shower every morning is a accomplishment.

Whatever it is that youre proud of yourself for going done, own that pride. You are your own best friend and counselor at twenty-four. And if you cant celebrate your accomplishments, who else is going to?

13. Equating yourself to others your age.

Comparisons can be undesirable and detrimental at worst but they can also be perfectly normal.

If youre rarely weighing yourself up to the people around you and determining yourself coming up short, congratulations you are a human being. Youre going to feel inadequate sometimes. Youre going to feel like everybody else is onward. And the only thing worse than drawing likeness between yourself and others is overpowering yourself up for doing so.

Comparisons are a natural part of life. And as long as you can accept that and take them with a grain of salt, youre perhaps going to be just fine.

14. Allowing your friendships to change.

Its normal to find an enormous amount of push to conserve old friendships at twenty-four. Youre in a new chapter of life, but you dont want to leave the people from your last phase behind.

But that doesnt mean you have to break your back to keep something together. Ensure your friends a little less doesnt mean youve stopped desiring them. It just means youre ready to cherish them differently in a way that works better for both of you.

15. Asking for help at work.

Its ordinary to feel as though you should unexpectedly know as soon as somebody mitts you a big-boy or big-girl undertaking. But thats an unrealistic expectancy.

Refusing to ask for help merely means that youre limiting yourself and your potential. Its okay to indulge in the skills required of others at twenty-four years old. Possibilities are, all of your supervisors formerly did the exact same.

16. Dismissing everyone elses advice for you.

Just as its useful to know when you need assistant at twenty-four, its also useful to know when the advice youre being given isnt helpful. Just because youre at the bottom of the barrel professionally or personally doesnt means you dont inherently know whats excellent for you. And you owe it to yourself to follow that insight above all else.

17. Trying the newest fad diet.

Dont worry about being that guy or girlfriend. Youre learning what works for your organization and thats going to make some trial and error along the way.

So you hop on board the kale fad or try out a brand-new juice purify. Just because its overdone in the media doesnt mean its not going to work for you. In reality, youd has become a buffoon to opt out of trying something you want to try exclusively because it is favourite.

18. Skipping the gym now and then.

Fitness and health are important but its no secret that you have a lot of rivalling priorities at twenty-four.

Sometimes youre forced to sacrifice a bit of self-care to get ahead professionally and personally. And thats okay. As long as youre able to keep yourself on a health regime that works for you long-term, the odd bounced workout wont kill you. So cut yourself some slack when you need it. Youre not doing yourself any advantages by over-exerting yourself.

19. Saying No to professional or personal commitments.

If you said yes to every social commitment, networking incident, employment assignment and familial commitment that you were invited to, youd physically drop dead by the age of twenty-five. Memorizing when to strategically say No is not just a suggestion for your twenty-fourth year of life its a survival programme.

20. Watching too much Netflix.

Theres ever something more meaningful or important you could be doing with their own lives than watching Tv. But sometimes “youve been” exactly is a requirement to escape actuality for several hours at a time. And thats okay. You cant be on youre a-game 24 hours per day, 7 days a week. Youre only human.

21. Still missing college sometimes.

Life as a young adult is exciting and invigorating and parcelled with new opportunities. But its likewise stressful and harried and seemingly impossible to navigate some dates. And on those daylights, its okay to remember about simpler experiences. Missing the past doesnt mean that you are not moving forward it precisely means youre able to appreciate the good times that youve had.

22. Forming some greedy decisions.

Youre allowed to quit the job that is constructing your mothers proud of you. Youre allowed to break up with members of the public who perfect on paper. Youre allowed to choose yourself, over and over and over again when youre twenty-four years old. Because if you are not putting yourself firstly at this stage of life , nobody else is going to do it for you.

23. Still harboring pipe dreams about living and ardour and handiwork.

Youre faced with a lot of coarse realities at twenty-four years old but that doesnt mean you have to let go of the ridiculously gigantic dreamings that youve been reining since childhood.

If youre not fantasy of bigger and better and more amazing things for yourself at twenty-four years, youre likely doing something wrong. Because the only behavior to stimulate those daydreams come true is to keep adamantly agreeing to them.

24. Taking your damn age figuring happenings out.

If theres anything you still have at twenty-four, its age. Time to try, time to miscarry, time to fall down and mess up and pick yourself back up, as many times as you still need to.

You dont have to have your entire life figured out at twenty-four years old. You precisely have to be committed to trying your damnedest at got to get. And if youre doing that, youre going to be more than okay.

The post 24 Things You Shouldn’t Appear Guilty For Revelling In At 24 appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

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transient-tutor · 7 years

Text

DEREK: -is jake hanging out in the infirmary right now? because the dad-in-law is stopping by. it's not unusual, he's been coming and going the past few days to see dirk but tonight he's here for jake. he knocks on the door to get his attention before just letting himself in.- Yo Jake.

JAKE: -MOST DEFINITELY HANGING OUT IN THE INFIRMARY. Jake is taking an uneasy doze in one of the visitor cots a small distance aways from the comatose patient room. Jake didn't want to be a cumbersome presence to any medical staff that might come in and check on Dirk's vitals from time to time. Plus, just sitting in there was making him incredibly sad.-

JAKE: -At the sound of Derek's voice, Jake lifts his head up to squint. Feeling for his glasses and starting to roll to sit. Abeit with difficulty. The weariness wouldn't shake off his bones.- Derek?

JAKE: Youre here? -blinks and sets gaze on his father-in-law, worried all over again.- Something the matter? Is it dirk?

DEREK: -ambles over, shaking his head and waving a bandaged hand in dismissal.- Dont worry. Nothins up.

DEREK: -plops to take a seat beside him on the cot.- I stopped by to see you.

JAKE: -shoulders sag in relief and he sighs. The biggest dog sigh of them all. Eyeballs the bandaged hand.- Get into a scrum?

DEREK: -holds up his hand and sighs at it.- Yeah with a wall.

DEREK: It was a lil one sided.

JAKE: Oh well...

JAKE: Happens to the best of us. -And it does! Though Jake typically fought anything but a wall.-

JAKE: Youre here at least... having it checked and what not.

JAKE: Sos the responsibility. -rubs at his neck, making a bit of a face.- Bluh...

JAKE: Sorry derek. Im...

JAKE: A few gumptions short of a decent conversation. :(

DEREK: -claps a hand onto jake's shoulder and gives him a sympathetic pat.- No worries. Didnt really come here to conversate anyhow.

DEREK: Sorry to interrupt your beauty sleep but I wanted to get you outta here for a lil while.

JAKE: Oh uh... -It dawns on him that he's hardly spent any "family" time with Derek. As most affairs they cross paths in were in the company of other people. Also before that, Jake got entirely distracted by dating his son.- At this time of night?

JAKE: Where would we go? -He asks this question but he lives the married family life, Derek. Understand him.-

DEREK: -he gets it. he's been there. but he also adamantly refuses to grow up in many regards, so the world remains his oyster.- Anywhere.

DEREK: Life aint come to a screeching halt outside. If anything its bustling more than it has in who knows how long.

DEREK: Figured we could hop in that jeep of yours and see whats goin down out there. You up to it?

JAKE: Well its not but... -looks onward, probably in the direction Dirk's room is. Whines internally. Whines eternally.-

DEREK: -sighs through his nose. yeah, he gets that too.- Just to take our minds off things for a lil while.

DEREK: Itll be fun. Come on. -he's not above peer pressuring you, jake.-

JAKE: -It's easier to fold when Jake imagines that Derek is telling him to go, rather than suggesting they do.- Oh...

JAKE: Alright..

JAKE: But lets not be long. -pries himself off the bed, again. Reluctantly.-

DEREK: -claps him on the back before hopping to his feet again.- Thats the spirit.

DEREK: -takes the liberty of leading the way out the door. he doesn't really seem to be waiting around for him to catch up.-

JAKE: -Well that's fine... Jake knows where the Jeep is parked and is also the only one present with a key for it. He takes his time texting his friends in the infirmary about where he's heading off to. He meets up with Derek in the cargo bay.- Ill be frank...

JAKE: I havent thought to set foot outside since...

JAKE: My imprisonment i suppose.

DEREK: Thats reasonable.

DEREK: Cant say Ive had much need to. -leans on the jeep nonchalantly. he wants to drive it... but he will have to ask for the keys. use your words, derek.- But I hear its safer out there. People just rebuildin their lives.

DEREK: And thats cool. -holds out his hand.- Anyway gimme your keys to this thing. -he did it.-

JAKE: -There's a whole second Jake is reluctant to... before he passes them to Derek.-

JAKE: ...

JAKE: This was our wedding gift. -blurts. He can't help it. The associations are still there.- :(

DEREK: -snatches them up, then turns towards the vehicle.- ... Yeah. -HE BETTER NOT CRASH IT THEN. he's been known to do this with cars that don't belong to him.-

DEREK: -gets into the driver's side.- Its a good one. John got it for you right?

JAKE: -climbs in and sits in the passenger side. The sad faces intensify.- Yes. :C

DEREK: -damn, this is gonna be harder than he thought. probably not gonna be the wild night he was hoping for, but he can improvise.-

DEREK: -produces a six pack of booze from his sylladex and holds them out to him.- Have one. -yes, he's telling him to do this again.-

JAKE: Wh...

JAKE: -suddenly taking booze in his lap.- Were not driving under any influences are we?

DEREK: -jesus CHRIST.- Im not gonna. -for now-

JAKE: I think id have to stop you if we were sir! Family statuses aside. -HUFFS.-

DEREK: -smirks a little at him as he starts up the jeep.- Good to know.

DEREK: But I insist. You have at it.

DEREK: -and with that he TAKES OFF. the ship is landed somewhere out in the wilderness, but not too far from the minneapolis area still. plenty of municipalities to check out, but instead derek is taking a scenic route.-

JAKE: -dont mind if he rolls down the window. He likes the feel of the wind in his hair and especially his mustache.- Well...

JAKE: I watch plenty of television and im sure theres a law some place that reads there cant be open beverages in a moving vehicle!

JAKE: So im sure wherever were going it can wait. -sets the boozes down at his feet. That's that.-

DEREK: Oh come on its basically lawless out here.

DEREK: Man youre a real goodie two shoes. -says so with a good natured snicker. he's just trying to loosen him up... what a shame it's failing. maybe it's not in the cards. he pauses, hesitant to say what he's thinking but he's derek so he'll say it anyhow.-

DEREK: You must keep Dirk in line then huh?

JAKE: Shucks i wouldnt go that far. -feeling his face flushing in color. Absently, Jake fiddles with the ring on his finger.- Its just...

JAKE: Second nature i suppose? Thinking and...

JAKE: Doing my darndest to plan ahead. -he trails off. Feeling sad all over again.- But you dont want to hear this. We um.

JAKE: Ought to focus ahead and all. Coming all this way.

DEREK: -glances at him- Well the plan was to take it easy. Sure.

DEREK: But now I feel like talking about him too.

DEREK: Its nice hearin this stuff. -sobers up rather suddenly.-

DEREK: You know were not as close as Id like to be. Me and him.

DEREK: Guess I can kinda live vicariously through all yall that are when you talk about that sorta thing. What all is goin on in your day to day. Shit like that.

JAKE: Why not?

JAKE: The lack of closeness i mean.

DEREK: Well... -drums fingers on the steering wheel.- He dont like me too much.

DEREK: Guess weve been working on that but its slow going.

DEREK: I cant blame him anyways.

JAKE: Right... -If it helped Derek any, Jake had no reason to have hard feelings about him.- I cant imagine why. My impressions always been that youre as swell a fella as it gets!

JAKE: Whats there more to say about it? -But no really, he's curious.-

DEREK: -goes quiet for a moment but it's fine, he just scoffs.- People tell me there aint nothin left to say anymore.

DEREK: But I wasnt always a swell fella.

JAKE: Oh... -Truth be told, he had a hard time picturing anyone as totally a bad person. Jake glances at him, a glimmer of optimism for his father-in-law.- Its a dog eat dog world im told...

JAKE: Some folks do whats best they think is needed for survival. -looks away then, watching the passing scenery. So dark out...- I know its true for me.

DEREK: That dont always make it right.

DEREK: But that aint somethin you gotta worry about. Youre an indisputably good guy.

DEREK: -decides to make a turn down some dirt road.- And a great dad.

JAKE: Good... golly. Gulp. -if it's Derek's intention to make Jake blush again, it's working. Too much positivity in one sitting, his eyes are starting to water. Jake scrubs his face with the back of one hand. There they go, down some dirt road.-

DEREK: -IT ISNT EXACTLY, but he is making extra effort to be sincere with jake.- ... -glances at him.-

DEREK: Its true.

DEREK: Times like these really make or break a man.

DEREK: ... And Ill be real with you it is shit like this which made me a bad guy. I let that happen.

DEREK: Cuz I thought I had to do it alone.

DEREK: -drums fingers on the steering wheel.- Just remember youre not alone alright?

JAKE: I know it. Its not...

JAKE: Me im torn all over for. -swallows hard as it turns out his attempt to curb the water works failed. Jake sits there with tears dripping.-

DEREK: -frowns at the road ahead of him. he's not the best at expressing his sympathy, not always, but it's a little easier when some of that pain is shared. he reaches over to grip at jake's shoulder for a moment.- Yeah. I get it.

JAKE: -the simple gesture of squeezing his shoulder has Jake's heart wrenching even more. The most he can do is wring out a handkerchief to blow his nose into. Jake English doesn't go anywhere without it.-

DEREK: -this poor kid... he can't believe he carries around a handkerchief though. he clears his throat to suppress a chuckle about it and retracts his hand to place both back on the wheel.-

DEREK: I dont wanna make promises that itll be alright but... Youve got me and Riley and Dave and the whole goddamn clan to make shit easier where we can.

JAKE: -sniffles again and focuses on folding the hankerchief away. He'll have to wash this later.- Oh i know i...

JAKE: ...

JAKE: I feel just awful... thinking to ask when i cant even be fucking bothered to hold my own. -seems to be telling himself this more than Derek.- Ive held worse. Ive... endured worse.

JAKE: And so has everyone else. Its... -rests his elbow just outside the window, looking out again.- Magnanimously stupid of me. I shouldnt ask more of everyone.

DEREK: -brows knit as a familiar kind of pain wrenches at his insides. how does he even begin to explain how well he understands?-

DEREK: I know.

DEREK: When you wanna keep it together so nobody else has gotta add you to their long list of troubles.

DEREK: Even when you feel like youre fallin apart.

DEREK: Its frustratin.

DEREK: Like fuck. You should be able to handle this.

DEREK: You got to. -grips the steering wheel tight, but when he notices they've arrived at their impromptu destination, he loosens his hold and slows the vehicle to a stop next to one of the many lakes around here.-

DEREK: -turns to look at jake.- Youre a strong person Jake.

DEREK: I know you got this.

DEREK: But I aint offerin my help cuz I think you need it.

DEREK: Im doin it cuz youre family.

#gunhardyTemerity #in which derek steals jake for hang outs #this is old back when dirk was first in his coma

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mavwrekmarketing · 7 years

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A few weeks ago, Dries Buytaert, founder of the popular open-source CMS Drupal, asked Larry Garfield, a prominent Drupal contributor and long-time member of the Drupal community, to leave the Drupal project. Why did he do this? He refuses to say. A huge furor has erupted in response not least because the reason clearly has much to do with Garfields unconventional sex life.

More specifically, Garfield is into BDSM. Even more specifically, hes a member of the Gor community, an outr subculture of an outr subculture, one built around a series of thirty-odd books by John Norman which are, basically, John Carter of Mars meets Fifty Shades of Grey. Essentiallyas I understand ita community who are interested in, and/or participate in, elaborate (consensual!) sexual subjugation fantasies, in which men are inherently superior to women. I know all this because of Garfields lengthy public response to his ouster, self-deprecatingly titled TMI about me:

Yes, I am one of those people Despite the total lack of evidence that alternative lifestyle cultures offer any harm to anyone, there is still a great deal of prejudice and bigotry regarding it someone, I do not know who, stumbled across my profile on a private, registration-required website for alternative-lifestyle people that information made it to the Community Working Group (CWG), who concluded there was no code of conduct violation present for [them] to take any action on in my first contact with Dries, he asked me to step down from Drupal Drupal has been the cornerstone of my career for the past nearly 12 years Dries wouldnt budge on me leaving, including making it clear that it wasnt an option, but an instruction informing me that Id been summarily dismissed from my position as track chair and as a speaker at DrupalCon, per [my] conversation with Dries here I am, being bullied, harassed, and excluded because of my personal activities, which I dont even publicize much less advocate for in tech circles.

Buytaert (who is also co-founder and CTO of Acquia, a Drupal platform which has raised ~$175 million over the years and has been struggling to IPO for a few years now) retorts:

when a highly-visible community members private views become public, controversial, and disruptive for the project, I must consider the impact all people are created equally. [sic] I cannot in good faith support someone who actively promotes a philosophy that is contrary to this any association with Larrys belief system is inconsistent with our projects goals I recused myself from the Drupal Associations decision [to dismiss Garfield from his conference role] Many have rightfully stated that I havent made a clear case for the decision I did not make the decision based on the information or beliefs conveyed in Larrys blog post.

Sigh. This sad mess is something of a perfect storm of Code of Conduct conflicts. It is one which raises a number of interesting questions. It also raises several quite boring ones, so lets get them out of the way:

Does this matter? (Isnt this just prurient clickbait?)

Is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member for being involved in BDSM, or other forms of unconventional but consensual adult sexual behavior?

More generally, is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member purely because their belief system perhaps better described as a complicated fantasy milieu in which they happen to spend their personal time was doxxed?

These questions are boring not because they are unimportant, but because the answers are so obvious: yes (no), hell no, and hell no.

Ill unpack the first: open-source communities/projects are crucially important to many peoples careers and professional lives cf the cornerstone of my career so who they allow and deny membership to, and how their codes of conduct are constructed and followed, is highly consequential.

I really, really hope I dont have to unpack the two hell nos. But in case I do, let me quote this excellent blog post from Nadia Eghbal:

In the past, Dries mightve kicked Larry out because BDSM is a threat to family values. Today, leaders like Dries kick Larry out because BDSM is a threat to gender equality. Unfortunately, the end result is the same Beliefs are not actions. We cannot persecute people for what they believe, no matter how much it disgusts us, and simultaneously maintain a free and open democracy If diversity is our dogma, call me spiritual, not religious. I still pray for the same things as you, but I wont be at the witch trials.

Which is brilliantly put and I hope settles the previous questions. However. The Garfield Situation also raises two questions which are far more complex and interesting:

Under what circumstances, and via what kind of due process, is it OK for communities to publicly condemn people for secret reasons?

Is it OK to ban/ostracize community members for (legal) behavior which occurs entirely outside the community?

Obviously sometimes organizational decisions have to be made based on information that must remain confidential, for legal or ethical reasons. But if youre making such a decision, you really have to do so in the right way. What is the right way?

Probably something close to the opposite of what Buytaert and the Drupal Association did. Even if their decision was correct, which currently seems at best suspect, their complete lack of process transparency, and Buytaerts vaguely worded hinting-without-really-saying-anything statement, makes it very hard to have any faith in it.

Their accusations are so vague nonexistent non-accusations, really that Dries & co. could surely have told the community substantially more (indeed, anything) about Garfields problematic behavior, if any, without revealing sensitive information. For instance, they could have said theyd received reports of threats, harassment, or coercion by Garfield, if any such reports existed. They have said nothing of the sort.

(For what its worth, a well-informed source of mine reports: Its worth noting that a handful of women who worked with Larry did not report harassment or abuse from him in the workplace. We cant know for sure if he committed offenses, but if there were allegations or even rumors of his mistreatment of women we would be having a very different conversation right now.)

They could also have cited which elements of the Drupal Code of Conduct he violated, if any. They have not done so but theyve expelled him anyhow. Isnt that Code of Conduct, and its associated Conflict Resolution Policy, supposed to be what dictates the rules of behavior and interaction in the community? Doesnt overruling that written code with arbitrary decisions made for secret reasons reveal that in practice it is an irrelevance with no actual weight or importance?

I reached out to Buytaert in the hope of clarification; he did not respond.

Its hard not to get the impression, from the little that we do know, and the manner in which it has been miscommunicated, that whats actually deemed unacceptable here is that Garfields kink has spilled outside of his personal life i.e. that his real sin is that he was doxxed. Which, as noted, is firmly in hell no territory.

It is of course entirely possible that this impression is incorrect, and that Buytaert and the Drupal Association have done the right thing. But they have offered no evidence, no arguments, and no reasons for their decision. It seems obvious to me that they have a moral obligation to their community to do so. You cant ban people without at least sketching the outline of what it is they did wrong. Just trust us is not enough

especially since it also seems possible that the CTO and co-founder of a heavily funded pre-IPO company has participated in expelling a man from what his been his professional community for the last twelve years, ignoring that communitys own Code of Conduct and Conflict Resolution Policy, because it was decided he was guilty of, essentially, thoughtcrime; that no real accusations have been made, and no allegations of problematic behavior have been cited, because none such exist.

A third plausible scenario, based on the tea leaves of Buytaerts phrase actively promotes, is that Garfield has been banned for expressing views outside the Drupal community which are deemed unacceptable inside. This is not a new issue in the open-source world: I wrote about it last year, in the context of Curtis Yarvin and Opalgate:

Should communities accept people who hold repugnant views, as long as they dont express them within that community? Or should they be expelled, because its assumed that their views influence their community work in a negative way, or because their presence makes other people feel unsafe?

Personally, both answers make me feel deeply uneasy. Humans are messy, complex, and contradictory; human interactions are that squared; the results are so complex and context-sensitive that they often need to be judged on a case-by-case basis, rather than by any hard-and-fast rule.

although in those cases, the views in question were clearly expressed publicly, not privately, and were not intended as part of any BDSM fantasy world. Does that apply here? Who knows? Certainly not the Drupal community.

Its impossible to judge the Garfield situation, because all we are permitted to know is that it has been prejudged for us, by people who refuse to tell us anything about either their evidence or their decision process. It is, however, very easy to judge whether the people who have made and communicated this decision are, by the way they have done so, actually serving their community. And that answer is, once again, Im sorry to say: hell no.