#tomyo says shit

[tomyo]

#tomyo says shit #yuri #toxic yuri #wlw #sapphic

[irritatinglytidsoptimist]

Kwento kolang weekend ko hanupo

Friday (Pink Moon appearance)

I'm so torn sa pagkawala ng isang kaibigan (not physically naman, pero yung pressence [different story for next time]), so i decided na mag inom. Kasi iniisio ko siya and all, pero sovrang bored ko mag walwal mag isa, like walwal is supposed to be a group-ish thingy, may kausap ka enjoying yung lamig ng alak ganern. So i made an entry dito abt it, then luckily found someone na alak na alak din, so i abandoned my San Mig apples for a peculiar gin mix haha. I travelled to Pasig from QC, on late night of good friday. Ganon ako ka desperado na makapag walwal at may makausap. On my way to Crossing, sa ortigas palang nagkaaberya yung bus na sinasakyan ko, may naaksidente na bus sa unahan and yung bus driver namin tried to escape yung seeming deadlock kasi nakabalandra yung bus na naaksidente, sinubukan ng driver namin na lumusot dun sa makipot na daan na una palang feel ko pang regular car lang ang kasya, and tama nga ako hahaha na stuck yung bus namin don. Tried waiting for almost 10mins baka magka milagro at makausap siya, pero waleys hahaha and since late na iyon, around 11 na ata and i fear baka wala na ko masakyan sa crossing going to pasig, nilakad ko nalang from ortigas to crossing. Kapagod bes!! Yung ligo ko nasayang hahaha hagardo versoza rin ang ending ko eh 😂😂. So fast forward nakarating ako sa place ni friend past 12 i think, and we had fun naman, talks random stuff and things abt achool since same kami frm PUP. Natapos kami parang 4 or 5am na ata? So tulugan na, he slept, i barely did 😅 namahay katawan ko eh haha and pag inuman tapos sa ibang bahay i often stay up hanggang mag uwian tapos sa byahe ako matutulog. So bumangon na ko sa kama mga 9am after yung patse patse kong idlip haha. Si bessy sarap ng tulog so umuwi na ko na di nagpapaalm sakanya. So pabalik na ko ng crossing/shang, kaso bes di ko kabisado bababaan ko hahaha and alam ko yung nasakyan kong jeep ay yung aakyat sa flyover so di talaga sa shang baba ko, si tanga sobrang paranoid na lumagpas at baka abutin sa pag akyat ng jeep sa flyover may sinabayan akong bumaba na sabi niya kasi crossing din daw siya nung nag bayad sa jeep, eh pota ang layo papala haha ilang blocks pa before one san miguel ave, so ako nagpa toasted sa araw, taena yan 😂. So ayun nakauwi naman ako, pero almost 12 na rin ata ng tanghali haha.

Sabado de Gloria

Start of the week may plano kami ng hs classmates ko na magkita kita by sat kasi kauuwi lang nung frie d namin na sa cruise ship nag w-work. Kaso until friday things are still in pieces, no concrete plans and formal talks, pano lima silang kausap ko na hiwa hiwalay tapos ako mag tatagpi tagpi ng mga responses nila to comeup with a plan (😒😒), so Sat tanghali na nasa bus ako di parin sure ang lahat haha. Yung friend namin na bagong uwi is residing sa Sucat and pinapupunta namin sa qc since may bahay din naman sila doon. Kaso na lowbat ako so next convo namin is nung nakauwi na ko, which is ta ghali na. Sabi niya by 3 or 4 nasa qc na siya, so ako naman relay sa ibang kasama (may gc naman kami, kaso kasi may ilan sa grupo namin na puro seen lang haha so better yet message them individually to get immediate responses). We planned na mag milktea/coffee sa mall malapit sa amin, kaso ako super pagod. Yung talampakan ko nga pag uwi ko ang hapdi eh haha siguro ilang metro nalang na lakaran sugatan na siya ganon 😂 tapos paka init pa at antok na antok talaga ko kasi di rin naman ako nakatulog sa byahe, so 3pm nakarating na raw ng bahay nila dito sa qc yung friend namin pero kasi di parin talaga kami sure ano bang balak naming gawin sa mga buhay namin, soooooo tinulugan ko muna sila hahaha. Buti one hour lang ako nakatulog, thankyou sa mala impyernong inet di ko na kailangan ng alarm clock 😂😂 so by 6pm we've met sa mall sa amin. And sobrang undecided namin mukha kaming tanga nag ikot ikot doon di alam san kami pupunta at gagawinb tho we ended up sa tokyo tokyo. Usap usap until mag closing yung mall ng 9 (ps. Di masarap yung spicy sisig ramen ng tomyo tokyo!!) Tapoa on our way back na sa lugar namin di pa kami sure kaninong bahay didiretso haha. Gusto ko kasi na dun sa bahay ng isa naming friend muna para makapag aircon, kasi bes yung inet tinatalbugan yung lamig na binigay sakin nung umalis na friend ko dito,kaso ayaw nitong friend namin, same kasi kaming hikki komori ang life goal so same namin gusto sa ibang bahay naman haha and nagwagi siya, dun kami sa bahay sa qc ng friend namin frm sucat. Good thing mabait tita ni frenny, dun kami pinag stay sa room niya na may aircon, so we bonded there, more usap more asaran, and we ayed Exploding kittens

and ito pinaka cute sa lahat ng cards, ewan if is it coz it's unicorn-ish or coz it's fink! 😅😂 after one game tawa kami ng tawa kasi u expected yung nanalo, yung isa pa naming friend na umpisa palang sukong suko na kasi talo na raw siya based sa set niya ng cards 😂. Since first time namin maglaro noon at di ko din pa fully grasp ang mechanics, di na namin nilaro hahahaha mukha kaming tanga mag laro eh. So more kwentuhan and asaran, and talks abt shit-show-series like Insatjable, russian doll etc and other scifi series like The OA and such, hanggang sa napjnta sa Aliens, so it's my time to shine pabida na ko haha. Hanggang sa magutom sila and we ordered mcdo, nunh una hassle pa kasi wala sa grab food, and laging may prob sa acing ng order online, pero it go through din, kaso di namin maipa drop off sa tapat ng bahay ng friend namin, kasi kahit siya di niya alam ang street address nila hahaha bopols eh xD nakalimutan na niya kasi si ce college lumipat na sila ng Sucat, so sa main road pa namin pinick uo, pero okay lang, libre naman nila ihh 😛😛

Infairness mas masarap barbeque sauce ng mcdo kesa sa BK 😅. Then after that more kwentuhan, yung host ng bahay kala mo may pa "send me an URL and i'll say what i think abt them" hahaa (well nag t-tumblr din kasi siya before) so isa isa kaming ganon til 4am, tinulugan ko na sila kasi wala pa talaga akong matinong pahinga. Kaso putol putol din tulog ko fail haha. Bumangon kami 9am, eh may binyagan naman ako pagka sunday haha pero parang walang lakad, nag breakfast pa kami, after non tambay ulit sa room kasi dumating yung other relatives nung friend namin at may baby so dun pina stay sa may aircon and we played with her. Cutiieee 😍😍. Then nag lunch pa (wow self 11am ang binyag sa simbahan hanuna? 😂😂) after lunch nagka mini counseling kami kasi yung friend namin under medication for depression, eh psych major yung friend namin na isa ako naman somehow i know things din abt it so we advised him of stuff and how to deal with it. Nagtatawanan kami nung psych major kasi para kaming tanga, we both too go through depression, tho we're not medically diagnosed, we know we have it too, so minsan bina bash ko siya na lakas makapag sabi ganon ganon. Then 12 na i really have to go kasi yung kasabay ko na pupunta naliligo na raw hahaha and so sa semi pagmamadali nakalimutan ko isauli yung hikaw nung friend namin. 😛😛

Easter Sunday

Pagkauwi na pagkauwi ko sinabihan ko lang si mama na aalis ulit ako at dali dali pumunta sa room ko para maligo, by that time nag bibihis na raw kasama ko, sabi ko ako nag aayos nalang ng gamit and aalis narin (the lies we always tell😂😂). So kara karaka akong naligo bihis ayos ng gamit and all, 1pm na ko nakalarga to cubao kasi bibili pa kami pang regalo. Ang plan ko sila na pabibilhin ko ng stufftoy na pang gift para pagbaba ko ng bus antayin ko nalang sila sa sakayan going to Bicutan (dun kasi place nung workmate namin na nagpa binyag ng anak) kaso etong kasama ko pabebe kailangan daw namin mag brainstorming sa pag pili ng pang regalo, so pag baba ko ng bus nag madali pa ko ng lakad papasok ng farmers at muntik pa ko maligaw kasi di ko na tanda saan yung store na sinabi ko sakanya. So we bought a Pillow Blanket (daw) from Poporri. Cute non sayanv di ko napicturan 😅. Then we headed na sa sakayan ng bus, kaso taena wala naman nadaan na mga byaheng Sucat (yun kasi ang dadaan ng Bicutan!!) Almost quarter to 3 na kami nakasakay eh 2 pa kami nag aantay don. Then pagdating sa sm bicutan di namin alam san sakayan paounta sa bahay nung workmate namin, tinawagan ko pero taena sinagot di naman nag sasalita si tanga hahaha pakahayop non, sayang load ko!! So i just followed my instinct and we found yung sakayan ng trike, buti nasabi na samin beforehand yung sasabihin sa trike papunta sakanila. Tapos eto tangina nung init!! Tangina talaga!! Sa driver seat pa ko nakaupo so tutok sakin ang araw 😅😒 at dulong portion sila nung village!! So tangina talaga 😂 pagdating namin dun nakita na namin na parang may party sa daan kaso di namin sure if yun na nga, besides kami lang oumunta mula sa grupo namin so we don't have a clue, di rin nasagot sa tawag si tanga. Buti nalang lumabas siya ng bahay and nakita kami and yun kainan, first time na pumunta akong kainan na una kong sinunggaban ay yung samalamig na gulaman!! Tuyot na tuyot ako!! Naka limang baso ako bago ko pinansin yu g ibang foods. After namin kumain ko ting usap sa workmate namin pero super busy pa siya non, and sa labas ng bahay ang seating area, dama namin yung silakbo ng init ni haring araw!! Pero kebs nagawa pa mag picture kahit haggard much na 😂

Si ate mo gurl hagardo din eh haha punong abala si tanga eh haha. Since dalawa lang kami nung isa pang workmate ang andon at yung chaoerone niyang friend nakatunganga kami sa labas nanood sa clown and made ourselves busy nalang habang hinihintay si ate gurl sa pagaasikaso ng party. Then 5 or 6 ata nilatagan kami ng alak haha eh si other workmate balak na umuwi kasi magkikita sila ng jowa niya dapat ng 5! Kaso wala di niya ko matanggihan so nomo nomo. Then dumating ang second bottle nademonyo ko parin siya haha. Sa third ayaw na talaga niya sana kasi yun nga mag kekemean pa sila ng jowa niya, kaso yun din yung time na sinamahan na kami nung workmate namin so di narin siya nakatanggi, tapos nag karaoke, nung una ayaw pa ni guy kaso pinilit namin siya, maganda naman kasi boses niya, and dahil kasama ako sa namilit nadamay ako sa pagkanta haha so i punched in my karaoke song, una naki join ako sa kitchie nadal medley ni guy, fav ko same ground eh, kahit pa mukhang hinukay talaga sa ilalim ng lupa boses ko haha tone deaf eh 😅. Then my song "Parting Time". Dunno tuwing nag k-karaoke ako ito lagi ko kinakanta kahit sablay naman ako kumanta lol. Tapos tawanan lang kami ng tawanan habang inuubos yung oangatlong mucho. Taena siraulo kasi yung babae namin na ka work hahaha so inaasar namin si guy ng muscle control sa lalamunan haha (gay kasi siya) tapos ni raid namin convo nila ng jowa niya, si tanga di nag i-"i love you' back sa jowa niya hahahaha tawa kami ng tawa eh tapos kung ano anong kagaguhan at kabastusan pinag uusapan namin (typical convo namin sa work). Been a while since i laughed that hard. Nilunod ko nalang sa tawa yung lungkot, kaso crush ko si giy noon, umamin naman ako sakanya, but he neither reciprocated it nor rejected it. Well, sinabi ko kasi yun like a confession lang, not necessarily asking for an answer. Pero sad lang, kasi masaya siya, pero di sakin and i missed him so much pero di pwede maging clingy sakanya kasi taken na so respect. Tho hinug niya ko nung nagkita kami sa cubao so masaya narin hehe. So umuwi kami ng 9 na ata hahaha tinatawanan namkn siya kasi yun 5 pa daw sila magkikita ng jowa niya 😅😅 ako naman nakauwi around 11 narin.

So ayun. This has been the best weekend i've ever had this 2019, so far. And yes i was able to distract myself from thinking abt that friend na umalis, and survived not overthinking if dapat ko pa ba siyang i message, kasi alam ko naman na di pa ko nagbabago and yun ang sabi niya, mag message ako if nagbago na ko. Kaso i doubt i'll change, at least not sooner.

Hahaha ang haba ng entry ko. Wala ako mapag kwentuhan eh. If okay pa kami nung friend ko na umalis sakanya ko lang sigiro ito i k-kwento. Pero ayun, share ko nalang dito hehe. Wala rin naman mag babasa eh sa sobrang haba 😂😂

#prsnl #shts #weekend #am i really happy? #tldr

[miss-ingno]

Criminal Tango

Fandom: ragehappy/fahc Ship: Turnfree Words: 4.4k Tags: fahc, organized crime, assassination, ballroom dancing, networking, intrigue, background OC death

Summary: A new player arrives on the scene. Gavin is utterly fascinated. Good thing it takes two to tango.

Read here on Ao3. In collaboration with the amazing @skydiver-tomyo! Check out their art for the fic!

There was a long pause after he answered the video call that had Gavin looking up, suspecting connection issues. After all, their internet had been spotty lately, even with the crew paying off people at the top for access. Gavin suspected the Corpirate was buying off people elsewhere to interfere with their business. But Geoff was staring at him through the screen, eyes going squinty, and Gavin waved a hand in front of the camera. Geoff kept staring at him with a frown.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” he finally exclaimed, causing Gavin to sputter. “That’s not the tux I gave you!”

“No, it’s the white Italian suit from Dio’s,” Gavin replied and rolled his eyes as Geoff pressed a hand to his chest. “Besides, it suits the location,” he added, tugging on the cuffs before pausing, looking Geoff straight in the eyes. “Pun very much not intended. Please don’t tell Jeremy.”

Geoff waved him off impatiently. “Why aren’t you wearing the tux? It’s a classic!”

“And this is sleek and modern,” Gavin retorted, fussing with his hair. “Besides, Favreau wouldn’t know class if it mugged him in a back alley.”

Geoff shot him an unimpressed look. “Your tie is crooked.”

“I’m just saying, Geoffrey.” Gavin straightened his golden tie, then smoothed down the brocade vest. “It’s a bit on the nose, innit? Hosting a party for thieves and conmen and all other sorts of quality folks right across from the Louvre? Tacky.”

“Your face is tacky,” Geoff grumbled, leaning back in his chair until his face was partially obscured by the shadows. Gavin arched a brow at his laptop, unfazed. “Don’t spill any wine. Do you know how high the cleaning bill is for a fucking snow-white suit?”

Gavin scoffed. “I can just buy another one, Geoff, quit bitching, Geoff.”

“It’s designer! Express tailored to your lanky ass! If you won’t wear the tux I got you, at least show some respect!” Geoff squawked, leaning forward to glare at him through the screen. Gavin shrugged, rummaging through his makeup bag. He’d already applied the foundation and highlighter and all that jazz. All that was missing was a little… pizazz.

“I’m just saying, Favreau is out of his damn mind. Dunno if we should agree to anything longterm when he’s spiralling out like that - he’s either gonna get in trouble thinking he’s invulnerable, or he’s already in deep shit and this is his last big hurrah.”

He bent down to bring his face right in front of the webcam as he brushed a fair amount of golden, glittery eyeshadow onto his lids.

“No, you’re right, that’s a bad sign. Try to put him off till the private meeting for negotiations, keep it vague- Hey!” Geoff shouted indignantly, face pulling into a grimace. “Use a fucking mirror, dickhead, I don’t need to count your fucking lashes!”

“Aww, Geoff, but Geoff-” Gavin pulled back a bit and bat said lashes at him. “Am I not your pretty boy?”

“Pretty stupid, if you ask me,” Geoff grumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. Gavin pouted. “Christ, yes, you’re pretty. Anyone who can see past that big nose of yours will swoon. There, happy?”

“Geoff, that’s not a compliment, Geoff.”

“Well, dickhead, I don’t fucking care, dickhead,” Geoff shot back, sticking out his tongue. Gavin giggled. “Okay, but seriously, be careful. Rumour is the Corpirate’s gonna be there personally.”

“It’s not like he can do anything in public,” Gavin snorted, leaning back in to add liquid gold eyeliner. “It’s not his style either.”

“He’s had it out for us for years,” Geoff disagreed, crossing his arms. “And he’s been gunning for our territory these last two months. I wouldn’t put it past him.” He paused, and Gavin took the time to blend his makeup properly. Geoff piped up just as he finished. “You missed a spot.”

“Piss off, Geoffrey,” Gavin grumbled, but duly checked his eyes over. Everything was in place, and he sent Geoff’s smug face an annoyed look. “And stop worrying, you mother hen. Next thing we know, you’ll move to a chicken farm and start clucking.”

As Gavin started making bird noises at him, Geoff threw up his hands in defeat.

“Fine! Do whatever you want, see if I care!” He crossed his arms and leaned back to sulk. Gavin blew him a kiss. “You better call the moment you’re back at the hotel. And no bloodstains!”

“Of course not,” Gavin said with an affronted look. “Who do you take me for, Ryan?”

Then he smirked, giving the webcam one last wink before hanging up on Geoff, just as the man opened his mouth to retort. God only knew how long he could blather on when he was worrying, but Gavin needed to be fashionably late, not show up past midnight.

The ballroom was brightly lit, decorated in reds and golds and silvers. A string quartet was playing ambient music, and a number of guests were already mingling. Gavin grabbed a flute of champagne from a passing waiter, eyes wandering over the crowd. He recognized a lot of faces amongst them. Famous thieves and Dons, almost all the big players from Europe, and then some from across the pond. Even more people who were having their fifteen minutes of fame for this and that con they’d pulled off within the last couple months.

Gavin sipped on his drink and made his way over to Favreau, who was most definitely losing his mind.

“Bonsoir, Pierre,” Gavin said as he joined a small group gathered around the host. He gave the others a brief look and a nod.

“Ah, Gavin! I was wondering if you would make it.” Favreau smiled brightly, opening up his arms. His hair was going grey, or maybe he’d stopped dyeing it black. Stress was written into his face, except for where the botox kept the skin stiff. Gavin stepped up and kissed the air on either side of Favreau’s cheek. “‘Ow was your trip? I ‘ear you’ve been spending more and more time in ze Americas!”

“Boring as most flights,” Gavin replied and forced himself to grin. “Nothing compared to the work.”

“Ah, yes, I suppose zat gets boring for one flying as often as you,” Favreau teased, and Gavin had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. “Now, we ‘ave all night to catch up. Why don’t you go say ‘ello to your American sweetheart, hm?”

He followed Favreau’s finger to where Barbara was making small talk with one of the Dons. This time, he didn’t hold back an annoyed sigh.

“Not my girlfriend, Pierre,” Gavin drawled with the tone of the long-suffering, then shot him a quick grin. “I would be so lucky.”

Favreau laughed, just as fake as his teeth, and waved him off.

He knew Barbara was coming on Burnie’s behalf, of course. They’d kept in contact. Used to work together before Geoff set his eyes on Los Santos and Gavin decided to follow him. Now they exchanged information, bragged about heists and pranks in equal measure, and kept each other on their toes. It was easy enough to sidle up next to her, greeting the Don with a nod but not interrupting.

Once she’d politely extricated herself from the conversation and the Don moved on, Barbara turned around and hugged Gavin with a warm smile.

“Careful,” Gavin laughed, keeping his glass of champagne well away from Barbara’s body. “You don’t want me to spill this all over your lovely dress.”

“Oh, shut up,” Barbara scoffed, slapping his shoulder gently. “I haven’t seen you in ages, asshole.”

“Kept busy,” Gavin shot back, grabbing a flute from a passing waitress and offering it to Barbara. “You know how it is.”

“Sadly, yes,” Barbara sighed, shaking her head with a crooked smile. She took a long drink, and Gavin watched her sharply. She seemed tired.

“Quite the party, innit?” he ventured, pitching his voice just loud enough to carry to curious ears. The more they thought they caught, the less they would wonder what else was said. “And in Paris, as well. Have you been to France before?”

“Once,” Barbara admitted carelessly, but her eyes were hooded. “Can’t say it’s quite my place.” Then she lowered her voice. “There’s almost been a shoot-out already, between the guy from Belgium and the lady from Amsterdam.”

Gavin hummed in agreement. “Favreau’s invited all the big names, without thought to tensions and politics.”

“It’s not gonna end well,” Barbara prophesied under her breath, before taking another drink from her champagne. Gavin nodded in acknowledgement.

“Better not get drunk, then,” he said in a normal voice, eyes gleaming mischievously as he plugged her half-empty glass out of her hands. He set it on the tray of a passing waiter. “You owe me a dance, Ms Dunkelman.”

“Fuck you, Free,” Barbara replied loudly and grabbed a full glass from the same tray. Several people turned to glance at them, and Barbara bared her teeth in an amiable smile. “I don’t dance, and you know it. Go find someone else to humiliate, you show-off.”

They chattered on for a while, exchanging pleasantries and observations, friendly ribbing and secrets hidden in the subtext.

“Oooh, boy,” Barbara said suddenly, nodding towards the entrance. Gavin followed Barbara’s look. A man in his forties just walked in, brown hair slicked back and what looked like a young debutante on his arm. “I wonder if Brown and Miller had a falling out. She’s younger, too. Ouch.”

“I haven’t heard anything,” Gavin murmured, taking a sip from his champagne to hide his frown. Jacky Brown and Baby Miller had been partners for decades now and controlled the New York crime scene with a steel vice. If anything happened to their partnership, he should have known.

The young brunette on Brown’s arm walked with a self-assured grace, head held high and a coy smile on her lips. She didn’t quite ignore the curious looks, but didn’t meet them head on either. The high slit of her dress revealed the fact she wasn’t carrying any guns, lending to the general air of inexperience she emitted. She certainly made an effort to affect a demure demeanour. But something about the way she surveyed the room felt off.

“She’s pretty, eh?” Barbara drawled, nudging his side with her bony elbow. Gavin gave her a nonplussed look. “You’re staring, Gav.”

“I don’t think she’s here as arm candy, Barb,” Gavin shot back, cheeks feeling hot. She did have nice legs, even with the lack of a thigh holster. He glanced around and saw the other guests dismissing her, though, focussing on Brown. Favreau didn’t even spare her a look as he greeted the crime boss. “Maybe you should leave early. Something’s gonna go down tonight.”

“You think?” Barbara snarked, gesturing to where two feuding Dons were talking, their bodyguards tense and ready to draw their guns. Then she gave the brunette another thoughtful once-over. “Don’t think I’ll leave you alone with this ticking time bomb. Besides, Burnie would never let me hear the end of it.”

“You’re just hoping for blackmail, aren’t you?” Gavin gave her a dry look. Then he sighed. “Well. Better start schmoozing.”

Barbara clapped his shoulder. “Go get her, tiger.”

Shooting his smirking friend a glare, Gavin huffed and downed the rest of his drink, handing the glass to a passing waitress. He never liked mingling much at these kinda parties, but he was there to network after all. Making his rounds across the room, stopping to greet old acquaintances and make small talk with new ones, all the while keeping an eye on Brown and his companion. Miller didn’t show up.

It took him a good hour to get through the crowd at a natural pace that left him standing with a small group Brown was approaching purely by chance, looking not at all planned. Brown didn’t seem to notice as he joined the conversation, but his companion gave Gavin a knowing look and a secretive smile. He smiled back guilelessly, suppressing the triumphant feeling swelling in his chest. He knew she was more than she seemed.

“-your partner? I can’t help but notice Mrs Miller’s absence.”

“Sadly she has prior obligations that keep her away,” Brown said with a small, secretive smile that rang all the alarm bells in Gavin’s head. “Ms Turney was kind enough to agree to accompany me in her stead.”

Turney lifted a hand to hide her mouth and giggled. “Please, call me Megan. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Mumbled greetings made the rounds, and Gavin couldn’t help but notice how Turney’s sharp eyes seemed to miss nothing. Not the disapproval sent her way nor the easy dismissal, leaving the corners of her mouth quirked up, as if bemused. And Gavin, well. He couldn’t help but wonder.

“How are you enjoying France, then?” he asked her, raising a brow. “Have you been here before?”

“Not in Paris,” she answered evasively, taking a sip from her drink. She tilted her head and grinned. “I’m afraid my French is a bit rusty. Bonjour, bonsoir, pardon, excusez-moi…”

Gavin grinned back. “Ca va?”

“Ca va.” Turney gave him an amused look and raised her glass in a toast. “You speak French?” she asked, sounding genuinely curious.

“Un peau,” Gavin replied cheekily, clinking their glasses together. “Just a  little. I’m rusty, too. Not enough to talk business, definitely.”

“Sounds like there’s a story behind that,” she returned, batting her lashes. Gavin’s grin turned wry. Of course he wasn’t the only one digging for information.

“Let’s just say Pierre doesn’t appreciate anyone butchering ‘his’ beautiful language,” Gavin said, glancing around. Brown had the other guests in their little circle thoroughly distracted. No one seemed to pay the two of them any attention. Time for a little test. He leaned down, murmuring into Turney’s ear, “I’m afraid he’s a bit of a pillock.”

Turney snorted loudly, hastily turning it into a delicate cough.

“That’s one way to put it,” she mumbled under her breath. She cut him a sly sideways look. “He, uh, had a rather condescending air to him when we went to say hello.”

Gavin hummed. “Rather useful if you want to be underestimated, though.” He watched the small smile stretch over her lips as he sipped from his champagne. It was rather stale after an hour of being used as a prop.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean,” she demurred, rising her own glass to hide her amusement. As she surveyed the room, her head tilted in his direction. “But I’m sure you would know, hm?”

“Well,” Gavin sighed, brushing his arm against hers purely on coincidence. “Used to work for me. Not as much since my crew went and made a name for itself, but before that… Well. Things change.”

Turney grimaced sympathetically. “That would rather draw more attention than would be ideal,” she agreed in a commiserating tone. “But there must be more than enough idiots out there to still fall for it.”

“Oh, they do,” Gavin admitted freely, shooting her a bemused smile. “Not as many, granted, but with a bit of a show, even experienced people tend to fall for a pretty face. Case in point.” He tipped his glass at her and arched a brow. Satisfaction flashed in her eyes for a second. Then she blinked, and her expression turned back into the naive mask she’d worn all evening.

“Tell me, Mr. Free. I’ve heard you are quite fond of hypothetical scenarios.” She shot him a dazzling smile with too many teeth. Gavin straightened. “If you wanted to kill a man - just hypothetically, of course - at this party without getting caught… How would you do it?”

“Hypothetically,” he returned dryly, giving her a long look. Turney just blinked guilelessly. “I would probably bring back-up for one. Mogar or the Vagabond, maybe.”

“That’d be very noticeable, though,” Turney pointed out. “If you didn’t want anyone to make the connection…”

“I’d hire a third party,” Gavin murmured, eyes sliding over to Brown. He emptied his glass and put it on one of the side tables. “Why, Ms Turney… are you implying I should be on the lookout?”

But Turney just grinned up at him playfully, putting her mostly full glass down next to his.

“Why yes, Mr. Free. I’d love to dance.” She cocked her head as the slow fox faded out and the violin picked up a new rhythm. Her lips twitched. “If you know how to tango, that is…?”

“Why, that sounds like a challenge to me,” Gavin returned, offering her an arm with a grin. “Shall we?”

Only two other couples occupied the dancefloor, leaving them more than enough room for some fancy figures. Gavin led Turney to one corner and took position, left arm stretched out and hand holding hers, the other one on her back. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and shot him a grin, before leaning back and waiting for her cue.

A step. Forward, rocking back, forth, back-

Turney followed his lead gracefully, soft under his hands. He caught himself staring at the perfect arch of her neck, a single curl of hair grazing her shoulder. Gavin opened into a promenade, and Turney’s head snapped around, sharp and perfectly on beat. They crossed the length of the dancefloor, before he led her into a open reverse turn with her on the outside, ending in three quick swivels. Her dress flared as she turned sharply, only settling when Gavin pulled hard, their bodies colliding.

He caught her eyes.

“A third party, you said.”

Turney smirked, turning her head away as they moved on.

“Not a warning,” she murmured, and Gavin relaxed a little. He led her into a four step, waiting for the couple next to them to move on. “Call it… a hint. A clue, if you prefer.”

There was a spark in her eyes that fascinated him. It was a shame that tango required the lady to look to the side because he could stare into her eyes for hours. Instead, he had a perfect view of her arched neck and the jewelry adorning her ear. Gavin closed the promenade.

“You’re plotting something,” he pointed out.

“Why, whatever makes you think that?” She batted her eyes at him, grinning.

“Call it intuition,” he replied dryly.

Her lipstick was very red. It kept catching him off-guard, drawing his eyes. Or maybe he just really wanted to kiss her, considering how unfairly attractive she was. Quick-witted, beautiful and a good dancer. Her dark hair framed her pale face in gentle curls, her deep brown eyes gleaming in the bright light. She turned smoothly at the smallest nudge, didn’t miss a beat as he lead her into another promenade. The golden neckholder of her dress glinted as she turned her head, the purple folds swishing around her legs.

A beat. He pulled her in, took a step back. Valentino. Their eyes met. A pause, then several quick steps. A flare of her skirts, and they stood facing each other again.

“How would you go about offing someone in the middle of a party, then?” Gavin couldn’t help but ask, against his better judgement. Turney hummed. He flipped her to his other side, both of them facing the crowd as they rocked, before guiding her in a slow circle and back into position.

“I suppose I’d need an alibi first,” she whispered under her breath. Her knee pressed against his. “Like, say. Find a respected gentleman to dance with.”

“Not many options in a place like this. I don’t count, certainly,” Gavin drawled as they circled around the dancefloor to a violin solo. “But let’s assume you found one. What next?”

He twirled her from his right to his left, and then back again. From the corner of his eyes, he saw her shake out her left arm as if it had gone numb, before she lifted it back up to his shoulder. Except this time, instead of holding it like a knife-hand with the palm downward, she laid her flat palm over his shoulder blade. Something hard pressed against his skin beneath Turney’s hand.

“You need a partner, and a cue.” She leaned in, lips brushing over his cheek. “By the end of the solo, dip me.”

Gavin didn’t have much time to protest. He whirled them around, cut the corner-

Turney’s leg hooked around his thigh. Holding on to her tightly, he dipped her. A beat, and the rest of the string quartet joined the violin.

Suddenly, everything went dark.

A shout. Gavin tensed, but didn’t drop Turney. He felt her move in his arms, her weight shifting. Then her hand was back on his shoulder, just as the emergency lights flickered on. Gavin stared down into her face, a calm mask settling over her features.

“Keep dancing,” she hissed.

So he pulled her back up and guided her into another four step. The music continued for another moment, before the musicians started to falter and then came to a stop. Whispers broke out among the crowd, and then yelling. They’d made it all the way to the next corner of the dancefloor when Gavin finally let go of Turney. He watched her carefully, before turning his head to glance over his shoulder.

Bodyguards started pulling guns. Several were already pointing wildly at the crowd. And there in the middle between them, lay a crumpled figure on the floor. Gavin pushed Turney behind him and grabbed his golden pistol, eyeing the commotion warily.

“Whoops,” Turney giggled quietly behind him.

From the corner of his eyes he saw Favreau bustle his way through the crowd. The bodyguards only parted reluctantly for the host of the party, closing ranks behind him. Turney tapped his shoulder lightly.

“A gentleman would escort the lady back to her date,” she offered dryly. Gavin snorted.

“By all means.” He held out his arms. “Wouldn’t want to ruin your first impression of me.”

Brown was standing with a group of people far away from where the shouting started escalating. Gavin was very aware of Turney’s hand on his arm as he led her over.

“Ah, there you are, Megan,” Brown greeted them. He nodded at Gavin. “Mr. Free. Sadly, we’ll have to cut this lovely evening short. If you’ll excuse us-”

“One last question,” Gavin interrupted Brown, turning to Turney. He lifted her hand and bowed over it in a courtier's kiss. “How did you do it?” he murmured in a low voice.

“Why, Mr. Free.” Turney’s eyes glinted mischievously. She flipped over her hand, pressing something into his palm. Gavin pulled his hand away, pocketing the slim object. Hard paper, square and small. “A magician never reveals her tricks. It would shatter the illusion.”

She winked and blew him a kiss, before linking her arm with Brown’s. Gavin watched them leave, staring at the sway of her hips, the swish of her dress, and wondered where she’d hit the weapon. What did she use? It was too dark to see. He let himself be drawn closer to the shouting, the curious crowd leaving a sizeable gap between them and the panicked bodyguards.

Gavin caught a glimpse of the emblem on their suits and his brow rose in surprise. The Corpirate’s people. A quick glance around, but he couldn’t see the man himself anywhere. Which either meant he’d left during the commotion or-

“What’s happening,” Gavin whispered as Barbara sidled up to his side, visibly armed. He wondered where she’d hid the shotgun - or how she got that through customs in the first place.

“Someone killed the Corpirate,” she replied under her breath. “Knife to the throat or through the eye, people are already disagreeing on that. Went down during the blackout so no one knows who did it.”

“Bet they’re already accusing each other.” Gavin’s lips twitched up. Barbara sent him a sharp look.

“You know who did it,” she stated quietly. Gavin grinned and tilted his head. A flash of purple at the doors. Turney hustled Brown out of the ballroom.

“Looks like Brown left early. Guess Miller never showed.”

“You are so besotted with that girl,” Barbara teased, but her sharp eyes surveyed the crowd. She laid her hand into the crook of his elbow. “They have the right of it, though. If this mess doesn’t explode in the next five minutes, I’ll eat a moose.”

“Too bad they’ll never find out who did it,” Gavin drawled. Barbara rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the side.

“Let’s get the hell out of here,” she muttered, steering him towards the exit. Gavin chuckled.

The streets were quiet compared to the hushed alarm at the party. They strolled down the sidewalk, taking in the city by night. It was a warm evening.

“Why do you think Brown had the Corpirate assassinated?” Gavin asked, breaking the silence. Barbara turned her head, watching him from the corners of her eyes.

“An assassin?” she inquired mildly. Gavin hummed agreeably. “Alright. If I had to guess? The Corpirate’s been expanding his operations regardless of territory lines. And the heads couldn’t do much, because he was hiding behind that corporate farce.”

“Geoff was ready to kill him,” Gavin agreed.

“Burnie was ready to call a truce with the Lost,” Barbara stated quietly. Gavin inhaled sharply. The Lost were their major rivals in all of San Andreas. Such a decision wasn’t made lightly. “So yeah. Pretty bad.”

“We should track down the Corpirate’s connections to New York,” Gavin mused. Barbara nodded.

“I’ll give Mariel a call, see what she knows.” They walked a block in silence, before Barbara spoke up again, “So what’s up with your girl, eh?”

“Barbs,” Gavin groaned, rubbing a palm over his face. Barbara laughed. “I told you, she’s a hired assassin.”

“You sure?” Barbara asked teasingly, grinning up at him. Gavin nodded firmly. Barbara snorted. “Figures. You always liked them dangerous.”

Gavin groaned again, long and plaintive.

“What? It’s true!” Barbara’s eyes were gleaming. “Should have figured what she was when you went head over heels for her at first sight.”

“Please don’t tell Michael?” Gavin whined. Barbara cackled. “Please? I’ll owe you a favour.”

“You already owe me two, Gav,” Barbara waved him off. “No, this is too juicy to keep to myself. Besides, Burnie’s gonna tell Geoff anyway.”

“Barb.” Gavin pouted. “Don’t be mean, Barb.”

“Hmmm… I’ll think about it.”

“Barbara.”

Well. If she was gonna be like that. He’d just forget to tell her that he totally got the assassin’s contact info.

Knowing Barb, she’d just tease him mercilessly anyway.

[patreon] [update schedule] [ko-fi]

#turnfree #ragehappy #fake ah crew #fahc #ingno writes #criminal tango #gavin free #meg turney #so excited to finally post this! #bless sky and their infinite patience with my scheduling #we've been planning this since New Year '17 xD #geoff ramsey #barbara dunkelman #skydiver tomyo #check out sky's other art while you're at it! #they do gorgeous stuff

[tomyo]

Undead Unluck is fun because I have a weird thing for “We’re in a relationship for formal reasons.” Like it’s kinda fun to explore romance out of some sense of duty or side benefits. UU is interesting because technically Fuuko is forced into it but clearly she’s pretty into it almost immediately. and like, it’s not an official or really lovey dovey one but they’re talking about dates and she holds his arm and he gets her permission to marry another woman which isn’t taken too seriously but also is??? Peak. Even better that they then develop this mental synchronization. A big shonen problem is the weak/everyman usually female protagonist just getting pushed to the side but I fucking love she attached onto him like a backpack and is used to just cutting off his head now. I remember around ten years ago that I thought it would be fun to have an explicitly established couple be the shonen protagonists, like imagining this scene where in a middle of a fight one of them admits their junk smells bad during sex. I know that’s dumb and kinda embarrassing to admit but to me I’m like “Hinted romance is so boring, I want two people so in love that it doesn’t even matter that they are anymore.” So like, this is fun. Yes they still don’t really know each other all that much but they catch up pretty fast. Also again back to relationships beyond romance, love the person and their scary dog dynamic tons. Which they do so good at god damn. Gonna be so real, you know at some point when they get around to having sex, he eats her out so well. It’s just baked into his character goals lmao.

#tomyo says shit #undead unluck #ramble

[tomyo]

A long examination of Amy and her character treatment.

This was initially a YouTube comment lol.

I truly loved the Sonic x dub cast but it really always came down to an issue of script and possibly the voice director. It always stung to me how much vitriol Amy used to get and while I like how she is better treated (being more recognized as one of the core 4), I do miss the sassiness she was given in the 00s. Sonic is meant to be kinda edgy and often in the anime he’s portrayed with immature traits because he’s a teenager, Amy often was the counterpart to that, a modern posh girl who was stubborn about what she wanted but not solely defined by that. I don’t think it was revolutionary but I do think compared to the Japanese ideal woman, Amy would be more akin with trickled down gyaru culture (Mat[ure] gal, something in line with the image of posh spice). It’s unfortunate that headstrong translated probably somewhat to boy crazy and desperate to an English audience and where Sonic’s immaturity was toned down removing that feeling they were on the same level. Often my biggest issue with her modern voice is she comes off as a knock off mini mouse (more so in the earlier games with her current English VA).

Maybe ironic is it sounds more alike to her Japanese portrayal which also ironically I’m very conflicted about since it somewhat aligns her more with cream age wise. But what I do like about it is the difference in character portrayal. If I were to guess Sega’s stance on Sonic and Amy it would be two people loosely dating, similar in the way Mickey and Minnie are a couple but that validity fluidly changes depending on the situational need. Keep in mind that Amy’s first portrayal is as a version of Sonic’s girlfriend. Given that there was apparently a valentine’s plush bouquet of the two I think to some degree they’re meant to be as such. When it comes to the Adventure era to just before generations, the context of this relationship is greatly changed between languages. American Sonic often gave off the feeling of a laid back but heroic guy who puts up with a girl because he is too kind and she’s too pushy. And I think even just the voice direction plays into that perception because of how they sound a different maturity than the Japanese portrayal. In Japanese, Sonic is often more playful and less uncomfortable than he sounds in English. A great example is adventure 1’s park segment when Amy gets excited for free couple entry, in English Sonic is clearly annoyed and calling her a pain while in Japanese he’s caught off guard but going along with it. I’ve only just been digging into the Sonic X sub but the comparisons I see give off more the feeling that Amy is casually dating Sonic and regularly fighting with him to take her on dates (gonna point to Goku and chichi in this case). He cares about her enough to go to her place first at the end of the first season but reflexively avoids responsibility, she’s the scary girlfriend always mad at him. Specifically pointing back to episode 52’s ending, they use a song associated with specially the relationship between Amy and Sonic that also is explicitly romantic (and in terms of the song presumably reciprocated) when she asks him to tell her He loves her and the lip flaps of his unheard response *could* match up to “Aishiteruze Amy” (my conjugation isn’t that good and google isn’t helpful but to me vague knowledge a more casual masculine way to say I love you) and a white rose which symbolizes “chaste love”.

Ultimately I read their relationship being Amy trying to find compromise with Sonic’s free spirit. They’re by no means official and probably never will be because it’s not in Sonic’s priority (in his game portrayal). The most I think that would ever become of him being with someone would be almost completely out of the picture and light hearted at best.( But that is also due to him eternally being 15/16 as for now. ) Amy trying to get him to spend time with her and show some reciprocation is I think all Sonic X Amy is looking for. But going back to my thoughts on why Amy got so much backlash for the longest time is I don’t not think the first wave of Sonic fans in America understood that. The image of who Sonic is was completely treated different and even before Amy (who you could technically call the second character created in game universe) could appear stateside, the U.S. already created the answer that “Yes, Sonic is interested in romance and here is the type of girl he likes.” My feelings toward Sally always lie in, I did not hate Sally but I hated the way fans pointed to Sally as the reason to hate Amy. It doesn’t help that when Amy was introduced, she was defined by being young, bratty and blind to Sonic not loving her back. She was the little sister trying to steal your boyfriend and the age gap they share was even more so focused on. Even with just the English dub of Sonic media, it was leaning into the concept that boys should feel disgusted at the ideas of romance that isn’t as prominent in Japanese media. It paints the picture to the average 90s Sonic fan that “Amy will never be his type because he’s more interested in a cool mature girl like Sally.” Of course the same comic that particularly created that shipping divide collapsed leaving Amy once again to be the sole main girl that now had a fandom known for hating her. Already doing a whole reset with Colors on scaling back the grand stories and cast, by the next time we really saw her in generations she was just…….dainty. I remember being very effected by her Disney princess hand posing in Lost World. To be honest she hasn’t been that deeply tied into any mainline stories too much, at least not in her modern styling but to also be fair, I’m trying to enjoy Forces despite being late to the game (There was a decade gap of buying a major console) and while I have seen pretty much the full extent of her rep in Frontiers, I’m holding off on dream team currently(also want to play the murder of Sonic on my own time). From the way I look at it, this has lead mainly western media to define her character and often working off said issues that previously arose with her portrayal. As much as I love Sonic Boom, I see Amy’s straight forward pursuit to awkward denial of even feeling that way as nothing less than an absolute failure of her character. That mixed with making her the “The girl annoyed with the boys because she’s just so much more smarter and sophisticated than them” just switching her to a different girly stereotype that ultimately pacified her, then further extending into prime emphasizing how nature loving she is in a way that again really just feels like a Disney princess cliche. Ultimately she’s become “The nurturing homebody who is a little annoyed at the brutish guys she’s around and doesn’t want to address having feelings for her guy friend because that would just bother him.” Maybe it's just aging to that point but its come to a girl minimizing herself is more frustrating that a girl obsessed with a guy. I get why they chose to pivot her in that way but it often also feels directionless.

Actually looking back at all the media that sparked this, even Sonic X doesn't feel that bad as she was made out to be. Granted I'm only a 7th of the way in but she's not often making a huge deal about sonic as much as sonic is the heavy hitter especially with knuckles gone and he's not taking his duties seriously. But it's also interesting to try and see what's going on in the Japanese dubs of the games now that I also have a decent hold on the Japanese language. Sonic adventure 2 gives the impression of her being a part of the crew just constantly not caught up in what's going on. Naturally she'd be invested getting her beloved out of prison but he is so tied up in what's going on that he (and tails) don't stop to fill her in before she's also a wanted criminal. Notably as well, when the island is set to explode, where sonic says "I got to warn the others!" Others is addressed as "Amy-tachi". The word the Japanese use for we is "Watashitachi" which is the word for I with Tachi denoting people with them (watashi can also be replaced with of pronouns if you don't use watashi). It took my by surprise that between tails and Amy, sonic refers to any instead. Something about Japanese sonic makes Amy feel more a part of the group and part of me cries the many ways English sonic fans did not get it.

Edit: I have now played The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog and the writing team GETS Amy. I'm starting to wonder if Amy's Disney princessness is due to most of the media being kids shows right now and this was a steam game (mainly aimed at an older crowd). What's best is if plays well into the whole "Sonic is a bad boyfriend" concept I was talking about, he forgets her cake and is panicked. But Amy is also much more aligned with her old portrayal, she's excited and a little hot headed. Clearly she's had to organize a lot but also lavishes in it being her birthday. She doesn't over obsess on Sonic but she's definitely happy that he supposedly brought her cake and she gets to avenge his "murder". At the same time she's happy to be with all of her friends who clearly care enough to go along with this, even people you wouldn't expect like rouge and shadow. I know Blaze travelling dimensions is a joke but yeah it is crazy she did that for Amy who I think she only really knows though the Olympic games(I've only just started Rush). A murder mystery feels also such a good take for her, it's something extravagant but also a little occultish. Aligns really well with someone into tarot.

#tomyo says shit #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #sonamy #sonic x

[tomyo]

I love going thrifting because sometimes the most wild shit will happen. I bought a this splatoon stickerbook for two bucks and wanted to buy a second one only to find out it's like $200.

#splatoon #tomyo says shit #thrifting

[tomyo]

What phone I think each Soul Eater character I would assign them but one 2008ish Japanese phone, one 2008ish American phone, and one modern phone for each. I’m kinda mashing this out based on the vague memory I wanted to make this a zine a few years back.

Maka

SoftBank Pantone

LG Dlite

Samsung Smartphone that’s a few years old, if I made this list earlier it’d be a Samsung Note. Spirit might splurge and get her a Samsung Fold so she can take notes whenever.

Soul

Toss up between a swivel flip and a smartphone

Toss up between an LG chocolate and an early iPhone (iPhone 4 if we let my looseness with time period go)

Whatever new iPhone is released, he is juggling those out yearly

Blackstar

A badly damaged black flip phone that he only uses to call other people

One of those rough tough phones

He has a different mid to low range phone monthly because even the otterbox can’t save it

Tsubaki

That bean shaped smartphone

LG Dlite

Google Pixel

Death the Kidd

Black flip phone

It’s too tempting to say he has a blackberry but the design makes him cry, maybe early iphone

The most premium iPhone in the most boring standard color

Liz

Fashion collaboration flip phone but like it has a gemstone look (gotta find it)

Either a razr but god if she didn’t want the baby phat phone

Samsung Zflip with tons of different cases

Patty

Kids Japanese flip phone

Firefly

Mid range Samsung

Crona

It doesn’t matter where or what year, it’s a terrible ancient phone and they never see it because Ragnarok hogs it and gets them in trouble on the plan expenses

Kim

I willingly ignore how much she intentionally tried to be less cute in NOT, she got the cocolulu collab phone

Sidekick, she has so much going on.

Samsung Fold Ultra but maybe an iPhone depending on if the colors nice. Going back and forth between if Apple UI could frustrate her or be the only thing she knows

Jackie

AU Gratina

Some htc phone like the desire or a palm pick

All that matters is she wants to do that trend where you switch out SIM card trays with your partner but she keeps not asking

Killik

Known to have gotten sponsorships so I wanna say like a really nice swivel flip phone like the Aquos

Classic Droid Phone

Let’s be so real, him and Soul bond over their iPhones.

The twins

See Patty

See Patty

Killik’s old phone

#soul eater #tomyo says shit #did I forget ox and Harvar? #no I didn’t #ox makes me want to violently yeet myself #he like activates bad memories of dudes with his vibe #harvar gets caught in the crossfire as a result #this is really like a wip to be real #might be reworked at another date

[tomyo]

I need more of the the world is a little dystopian but I’m just running a business genre:

Coffee Talk

VA-11 Hall-A

No Umbrellas Allowed

Hardcoded (it’s nsfw, don’t judge me)

Possibly The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood

Possibly 2064; read only memories

#tomyo says shit #coffee talk

[tomyo]

3 minutes into season 5 of What We Do in the Shadows and Lazlo drops two iconic lines.

“There’s only one person who can get to the bottom of this, me. Why? Cuz I’m the king of bottoms.”

He has just bettered with age.

#wwdits #lazlo #the way he says it so fast #so confidently #and then cackles #it was both so unnatural yet sounded exactly as it should #tomyo says shit

[tomyo]

A silly post that turned into an essay on:

The Adolescence of Utena 🌹

So I feel like a lot of people generally agree that Adolescence of Utena is a continuation of the tv series (another revolution) and honestly right now I have kind of hazy memories of wanting to discuss the parallels of Utena and it's movie with Evangelion and it's movies.

However right now I'm mostly thinking about how AoU is kind of like a cancer. I don't know what word to properly use, overgrown, oversaturation, a virus but it is pushing things to the extreme with it characters. Now yes that's also because it's a movie but like there is a lot more explicitly to character relationships. When people have described the school as in decay but I think you could also look at it as the stretch marks of it suddenly growing beyond its shape (a puberty like sudden growth). If the space, the mob, the plot and the characters were all acts in a play then they have been boiled down to their essence. I'm specifically thinking of the instance where Anthy bursts the pipe for the dance scene and how empty everything feels outside of them. That the old rose garden is this forgotten relic and the new rose garden is the center stage shining above all else but unsafe with hidden ledges and no railings. There is no housing for the roses almost as if they are wild flowers that grew where they pleased.

I always liked particularly how Anthy was very forward in this. She doesn't seem aware of her previous life but she is much more in control than the last one. It's not good, it's not right but she is somewhat consensual in the incest. In a sense she catches previously always in control Akio of guard leading to his panic and trying to regain control by erasing both of them. Akio himself even is moreso the cliche of a playboy this time, extremely open with his sensuality and a cliche of a 90s heartthrob. I think there could be a statement to say it's also a good representation of complex trauma and grief. The pre opening credits start on what looks like it could be the moment after Akio killed himself which then jumps through the school to Bride Anthy kneeling before a younger looking Akio which previously represented his original chivilary and the concept of a prince (also in a sense a glorified image to idol). The scene could be read as a triggering moment where Anthy becomes chained to upholding her brother's legacy, a feeling that is disorganized from both grief, trauma, and a complicated love hate for her brother who was her abuser. The siblings in other media are implied to be gods and with Akio gone, Anthy is left to both uphold his part as the mastermind while also being the bride. She is baring a heavier load.

I would say AoU is much more about Anthy than Utena. The overgrowth could also be similar to a sheltered child to is given control. They go a little overboard. She seems both exploring the freedom to control the space but also falls back into her role and will go from her playful run to Saonji to still and emotionless when he caresses her face. It's like this switch between knowing she can do what she wants if she wanted to and then regressing into guilt over being "bad" for falling of from what she's expected to do. At points it almost like she wants Utena to punish her for perceived wrong doings. When they find her brother's body she buried she seems maybe annoyed but not worried or defensive of her actions, keeping focus on having Utena do whatever she wants with her. That in itself in a thing; I would say to some extent tv Anthy is meant to come off as an ideal Japanese wife, someone who has strong integrity but is subservient and a half step behind her husband at all times. AoU Anthy is much more openly willing to please her betrothed like a service top. (something something cool girl monologue) She's compensating for her failure of her role to her brother but also trying to reclaim her sexuality as her choice. When Saonji takes a kiss from her, he is guiding but she is not hesitant to do it.

When it comes to Utena herself I would say she is passively influenced by Anthy while also driving Anthy's eventual rebellion. Tv Utena I'd describe moreso as tomboyish, she sports a men's uniform top but the pants relate to neither, a third option, where her hair is still worn long. She would not be mistaken for a boy but things like her becoming more feminine was an active manipulation by Akio. Again as almost to overcompensate, AoU Utena is comedically masculine and assumed male at first, her little side cap always go to me since it had become uncommon by that point so it came off somewhere between looking like she was a cliche delinquent or like she was cosplaying a male student based off of out of date knowledge. It's like the step to far into trying to present masculinity when you're first trying(I had to take a moment to cringe recalling wearing cosplay pieces to class when I first started trying so myself but all my suit pieces where mismatched). I might go into that more later though. I'm also a fan of the dub so I haven't heard the tv original but Utena uses Boku in the movie, a masculine pronoun. While she tries to prevent Utena for falling into the narrative at first, Anthy seems to switch back into her role the moment a spectator catches them, Saonji. However upon learning that Utena is a girl is the moment that Anthy asserts her own agency fully, she is now lowered to reveal her chest but willing bends back to reveal the sword.

Anthy specifically has two foils in the movie; Utena and Touga. Anthy and Utena are mirrors or grief for the prince they lost and are following in the shadow of. Utena's rejection of femininity is to replace the loss of Touga she's in denial of much in the way Anthy plays the mastermind to hold onto the image of Akio. However like Anthy who has to play the role of a bride/princess, Touga's narrative is also about how he had to please others in much of the same way. He was literally sold off (like Anthy is won) to be a son and sexual victim of his adopted father. From additional materials it's been said his trafficking is a constant and in part willing in order to protect Nanami from targeting. His appearance was decided to the preference of his abuser, played the part of a heart throb for many women, and was the idol for his sister and best friend. People pleasing it less overt than Anthy's. When with Shiori, he is depicted as a receiving and giving lover; exchanging intimate acts of ear cleaning and painting ones toenails. It mirrors the same almost motherly but sexual nature Anthy presents to Utena; willing to bare Utena's anger by lovingly nuzzling her hair.

Again I got to cut away to say the dance scene always causes a panging in my chest Knowing how those roses falling with the song lingering on into the following day was meant to absolutely stun theater goers 20 some odd years ago. Its gives me this indescribable longing when it fades to the next scene every time.

Back to plot stuff, the stair scene is a great metaphor for how Anthy is pushing Utena along. Up until that point the story has been; the two meet, Anthy chooses to help Utena win her, she offers herself explicitly but is rejected, and then coyly flirts with Touga to rile up Utena. I would say at point Anthy's attitude is representative of a pushy girlfriend. She keeps trying to make Utena fall for her, first passive but explicit and willing to lead, gets rejected so she ignores Utena's command to leave in favor of diverting her by discussing her clothes and reengaging by intimately laying into her, and then once again taking being pushed away in stride. Being very casual and giggly with Touga feels out of character in the way it feels intentional to make Utena jealous. Albeit instead it pushed Utena to crack over Touga being different who is where is current affection lies (it's hard to love someone else is you haven't let go of who you lost). Before the full confrontation Anthy almost seems depressive, one of the scenes resembling her TV suicide attempt. While Utena is at first aggressive and distrusting of Anthy at the start of it, it seems like the moment of honesty was at least some step towards intimacy (emotionally) that Anthy was grasping for. (Haha man I could also get distracted talking about Utena being the hilariously accurate example of a clingy affectionate butch but that's really off topic) Utena is finally engaging with Anthy encouraging her to assert her dominance more. They're obviously drawing partners, she doesn't need to ask Utena to come along because she just will if she doesn't give Utena a chance to argue, and she has domain over where they can go in the school.

To be real at this point I'm watching subbless Japanese to remind of me stuff so I don't remember Utena's full ramble (I think some friendship speech like girl) but you can tell by the fact that Anthy is letting her image slip by willingly changing her body language to suggest boredom or annoyance. She shifts from passive posing into something more confrontational as she chooses to force vulnerability with Utena again. Anthy previously would've easily held position as expected of her as an obedient bride especially this one who had been frequently painted by her brother. She not only 'switches positions' on Utena but chooses to take on the role of the viewer that she was often denied and uses Utena's own words against her to convince Utena to be naked for her (I mean emotionally as well, Utena's whole speech was suffocatingly formal again to my vague memory and basically full of shit). To be naked in front of someone in both senses is to also be trusting of who is with you. Utena is being put on the spotlight by Anthy; a large empty but public room with big windows and planes taking off outside, the exact place our instincts tell us not to be naked and vulnerable in which adds to Utena's stress. However I'm certain Anthy is navigating Utena into making it seem like she was asked to do the same. She brings Utena to a space that will inadvertently reveal aspects of her relationship with her brother and in some part she wants to be 'forced' to show the hole in her chest, the scar and trauma he gave her.

Returning to the emotional complications of Anthy. The turmoil of abuse does not end when the abuser is gone. And like I said Anthy seems stuck between wanting to change and punishing herself for changing anything out of guilt. She feels the responsibility of her role but also eats into the idea that she is the 'witch' of the story, not just from how that's what others tell her to be but how she sees herself as the cause of misfortune. "The curse of the Rose Bride" is having to live on with the scar and work that her brother offloaded onto her. The ugly truth's about her personhood including the things seen as moral event horizons. One could look at her constant provocation of Utena is to spur either the rejection and disgust she believes she deserves or to find receive acceptance that she does not believe in. Someone loving her like the way *the idea* of her noble brother did. The sight of Dios to me is in a way to say "a person who cares for you in a noble way.". It is the sight of someone who won't exploit her. And at that is interrupted by the truth of her brother's dead body. So she runs, literally tries to step away from all the progress she's made.

So two things we gotta stop to go over, the character design and the term adolescence. At this point I'm retroactively making my thesis be the emotional haywire we experience from two types of major life events, the growth into individual personhood away from our caretakers, adolescence and the processing of trauma and grief. Obviously I went over grief so let's get to adolescence. So tons of people have said it better than me that the whole egg quote is also represented by the school, highschool is the final barrier (shell) to adulthood. The point of being born outside a proverbial womb that one must be strong enough to do for themselves. There are many ways teens think they are mature enough when they actually aren't and blah blah highschool isn't the end of your life. Growth is not always a constant progression forward and you can easily fall back into a childish life. I remember feeling more adult at 18 than I did at 21. TV Akio's failing to grow came from the fact that he wanted "power to revolutionize the world" but did not want to bare the responsibility of the swords which in context represent the anger of all the duty he had offloaded onto his sister. The image of an adult who refuses to grow up and rather surround himself with teenagers who do not yet know better and so emulate him. Anthy at the end of the tv series finally finds the catalyst for change and so crosses the threshold of the school into the adult world to find her Utena. Escaping abuse however is also not a linear path either and people can find themselves back with their abusers again. Sometimes I'm between if tv and movie Anthy are the same person for aspects like this despite her not seeming to be aware of who Utena is to her fully. The school might be a cracked shell but they are still in this world. Adolescence if you have lived a life being told what to do is a hard and sometimes guilt riddled experience. You were never given the space to self actualize and you are expected to take over the controls leaving you struggling between how you want to live and how you were told to live. It is confusing to know what to do with yourself when all limitations are taken away from you. Something resonates with that feeling and the various frames from the scenes of young princess Anthy being stormed by the mob of expectations. They vary between guilded to silly with a macaroni like quality being made out of candy and match sticks and ribbons interspliced with jeweled and gilded ones. Anthy looks more childlike in the movie than the TV series and I think sometimes graduating to adulthood changes you to being somewhat childlike all over again. But the world has changed since last time, a revolution is what we call one year when we spin around the earth, a year to grow and change in a new way from the previous. You may start new but the world did change.

Maybe it's still to not have realized how Anthy and Utena switched hairstyles. I always did realize that Anthy now had straight hair and Utena's was wavy but it just hit me on the head that the way Utena disguises her hair short is basically a similar tuck to Anthy's but vertically. Basically she hid her longer layers by coiling them up into each other BUT THEN hiding the tuck her a boys length shorter layer. Anthy's dress is also the more stand out change of the two, the original was always somewhat unconventional but the movie one really brings a sense of modern fashion in its design; body hugging, a front slit, and the show off of a pair of mature heels. Anthy does look a teen trying to present as an adult. A princess is always seen as a childlike person, the 'daughter' to the 'mother' of the queen. I have less to say deeply about Utena's outfit sas the fact that the shorts I mentioned before invoke the image of a yet to mature prince, sporty but unrefined and still also childlike. I think overall the gakuran sporting more place and harsher contrast gives the feeling of mourning but as well bring a level of maturity as the patterning reminds me a little of high end fashion of the time. Again, children trying to play adults. (As I was writing the end I realized that Anthy's new dress is a merging of hers and Utena's pink one from the TV series) Somewhere long ago when I started writing this I meant to talk about how they're acting out a fairy tale but we lost that plot.

What is important now is that when Anthy runs, Utena follows. Even before she faces closure, she asks first where Anthy is showing how her priorities have shifted. Her final willingness to recognize someone she loved was gone is the exact thing that brings her to the level of Anthy who how needs to reckon with the same thing, the death of her prince. Anthy tries to backtrack and proclaim Utena the prince of the school (the ruler of the domain within the shell) and reobjectify herself to being subservient to Utena. Rejecting her adulthood in someways. But Utena does not indulge the narrative.

Throughout the TV series, Utena's journey is that of growth. From a flimsy ambition to resolve, to a recognition of responsibility for those she cares for especially in how the champion is also a leader to others, and finally to the self determination of sacrifice for others. Whether she knows so or not, episode 1 Utena wanted to be a prince for selfish reasons. She wanted to become a prince because she believed the prince gave her a will to live. But she never took enough responsibility for others feelings, shirking Wakaba's feelings and staying aloof to everyone and even the gravity of being Anthy's prince. She had to constantly be retaught that you can't take things at face value or be half hearted over every situation. Which is why by the end she rejects the supposed love of her prince for Anthy who she truly does love. And even still had to learn that loving that person does not mean they will provide the same back. Anthy backstabbed Utena because Anthy was conditioned to believe she could not be loved and only through Utena's full resolve could she see a new world for her. And we return to this point as Utena turns into a car.

Hey! it's time for that point where everyone asks, what's up with the car thing? Well simple, a car is an image of transition, of moving on. Utena, is offering Anthy to move on from her abuse, the trauma of her brother. But a car needs a key to function in the same way loved ones can only help you escape abuse if you have the will to want to leave it. Utena cannot simply make Anthy recover, she has to want the recovery.

There are many ways you may struggle to change, the cycle of repetition and pattern is least resistant to others. But there are also those willing to support you on your journey of growth if you continue forward. The final barrier in the way of Anthy ultimately is her brother, less of a ghost as much as a concept, the destruction of ambition to overcome what you've always known. The race to the outside world is maybe one of the most gripping moments not just for it's gorgeous animation but for the transformation Anthy goes through. Absolutely refusing before haphazardly taking the leap into Utena as it dawns on her she can escape, to crying for Utena to save her when she's overwhelmed, to refusing to return to the comfort of the egg again when the hardest challenge presents itself, the castle thar defines her personhood for her whole life at that point.

Utena does not save Anthy, she shows Anthy that she can save herself. A person who was always told she was defined in relation to her betrothed and her brother and her role as a witch is given self actualization. To grow from adolescence to to self actualize, to become an adult finally responsible for all your agency. To overcome trauma is to reclaim you agency and identity for yourself. To revolutionize the world starts with a personal revolution.

I'm tomyo and thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Additional notes: Japanese Akio's voice sounds kinda pathetic like I could punch the dude from how wimpy he sounds at points and I kinda love that. Again Im a particular fan of the English cast but I noticed this more this time. Also missed fitting in how the duels now take place in the open but all the students watch disinterested playing into some of the "this is a play by Anthy" allusions I wanted to initially make. I was really gonna keep this to just being "oooh I get why it's called the adolescence now" but then literally I also had a grief realization too and well... My final thought is that I learned to really love Anthy. I think Americans tend to not feel too strongly on her because we aren't taught a high level of emotional consideration and at some point it really felt like Anthy only ever got in art in relation to Utena ironically enforcing the same treatment she experienced in the story. I'm not free of this either having previously thought "ah yes, I am non binary ofc I relate to Utena..... right?". Wrong, it's Wakaba hahaha. But it's taken a while how much Anthy means to me especially in hindsight my first gay dream was specifically about movie Anthy which I just ignored for years. If anything I want to bring more love to her one day, she deserves so much more than she's given!

#utena #revolutionary girl utena #tomyo says shit #essay i guess #anthy himemiya

[tomyo]

Doukyuusei is one of those series that hits so real from both ends having the beloved not have faith in your transparent love for them and in having the beloved be someone who shines so well in a different world that the idea they love you seems ephemeral.

#doukyuusei #I didn’t drink and yet #somehow I’ve been acting like I have #it’s a Mitski night #tomyo says shit

[tomyo]

This past spring I found a mini flea market where one of the tables was selling their son's stuff. This included: a 3DS XL with a brown haired glasses wearing mii for the account, a MCU phase one tesseract suitcase, a Wacom tablet, a bittersweet candy bowl plush, and a whole group of MLP plushies. I don't think a group of items ever told me so much about a person but wherever she is I hope she's living good.

#tomyo says shit #mlp #mcu

[tomyo]

Hbomberguy has unfortunately taught me that if I find myself really not gelling with someone it's probably because they're a shitty person.

Like I'm no Cassandra but all this time I remember I would just watch his videos and think "hmmm yeah, I can place my finger on it but I don't like the way he talks about these things." And then I ignored it because I thought I was just going out of my comfort zone.

I can't remember everything I beefed on him with but I definitely hated when he started to take on anime or Asian media. Overall I just think a lot of times westerners tend to assume their values and ways issues are dealt with are universal and he was just another lukewarm dive into the medium. Like its personal to me but I still stand by that Yuri on Ice isn't gay in the sense it isn't made for gay people, it's voyeuristic and pairing stories of incestuous feelings within it's short run time was a horrible choice they could have skipped. It comes to mind because I think he brought it up in one of his recent videos (I've been bedridden all week so my watch later queque has been playing on in the bg between lucidity) and it ticked me off. I hate the way he was dismissive of Heart Stopper for being twee and the whole rant about how it's not just him but other gay men too who think this! Honestly! For real guys! And for minutes I was just there like Alice Oseman is aroace! When he finally gets there it became infuriating how he diminished it's importance. Authors are allowed to let their experience effect their writing! She's not responsible to cater to you. The beauty of Heartstopper is it's release has lived through a rapid change in lgbtq acceptance and is the perfect opportunity to show that romantic and sexual inclination also exist on a sliding scale because that's something we are now widely teaching!! To write modern teen characters, you have to empathize with modern teens. They're not you!! Which is mostly good given the history of our community. It's good to get to see queer teen boys take it maybe infuriatingly slow because they don't have to be pressured for more.

James to me was always just a bit pessimistic and not really good at empathizing which given how much he stole makes sense why what he said and how he acted just felt off. It makes sense when everyone else in "breadtube" started promoting each other's works how it never seemed to happen with him. I don't remember him saying he was the only person really doing this but that's fucking bizarre to hear when the list of people who does what he pretended to was endless. Before I even watched the whole video I already brought up Matt Baume who like Hbomberguy said feels the exact opposite to James. Matt talks forward about progress, genuinely made me realize how we were always here, and the path lead forward to us getting there. Maybe it's not great to admit but there's YouTubers I watch that I know I have to psych myself up to watch, sometimes I don't like their running joke, sometimes they talk too fast multitasking, sometimes they have a habit that gets to me and I just need mental prep. James was like, "sigh here we go" that you'd feel before you were about to talk with that one friend who makes every convo abrasive and combative, I'm coming out a little annoyed and tired by the end of it. With Matt I remember it being a case of getting ready to sit down to hear a part of obscure history knowledge from that one friend who reads a book every two days. Possibly the biggest difference between the two is how much you believe Matt is committed to the material he's making because 1. It also focuses on sitcoms and old Hollywood queerness hence an well carved niche 2. It isn't as easy to churn out material. I've heard a million videos on owl house's queerness or Sherlock queer baiting but fuck all did I ever know how Tab Hunter was. There were so many "weird little funny guy" actors that I could make assumptions were gay but Matt actually gave me their stories and has made my heart cry for how hard they had it even thought I always could have figured that. And maybe that's what sucked, James as a queer man just never seemed to emotionally resonate.

Fuck, man I'm just rambling with all of this but the sheer validation of feeling off all these years paying of is wonderful. I don't really want to celebrate his downfall to much, not worth the energy, and I don't want to put another YouTuber on a pedestal because we have a bad habit of doing that only to have things turn out wrong. The thing is I watched illuminauti and Internet historian too but in the same way where I knew I was getting junk food. I wasn't looking for anything fancy and their sections did not surprise me and if anything maybe just make me feel embarrassed how comfortable I am eating badly made media. But god maybe worse is how happy I am to have someone tell me that it's alright that I don't like one gay dudes well produced videos.

#james somerton #tomyo says shit

[tomyo]

I see that “hear me out” trend on TikTok and it’s always pretty normal choices so on here where I won’t get bodied, I’d like to present my ‘not beating the furry allegations’ list:

#tomyo says shit

[tomyo]

I’m half certain everyone still on tumblr is connected by having identified or will identify as lesbian at some state in their life by the way I saw a shitpost what if about two elves dating and it just was a given that they’re logging artist was going to draw them both as women.

#tomyo says shit #tumblr #tumblr culture #remember when we were talking about social media bubbles like 8 years ago #which big oof #I wholely reject the concept of that rn

[tomyo]

Cat distribution system hit and I found a cat! A pregnant teen cat! She’s currently being fostered because my housing condition wasn’t safe for giving birth but it seems the application went through?? And she now needs a name. I keep joking she is a scene queen but honestly I’m queer and finally have the chance to name a cat something like toothpick but I’m struggling and asking for suggestions. (Also let’s be real, weeb choices also allowed)

#tomyo says shit #cat #tomyo’s life