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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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I LOOVEE THE NEW PINTEREST BOARDS FOR FBW STYLE

AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! this ask made me so so excited!

because tbh, i wasn't sure...anyone really Cared? about the pinterest boards ( which i was Wrong about, btw! i do actually get a lot of asks about them -- those thrill me so much! ) but specifically about my weird ncu tfbw!style that, ok, so we don't get confused, bc all my ships are technically my stylized styles: og style = pep!style, rm!style is ravesey and tfbw!austyle gets to be...kiteshed? i guess? idk guys!

-- but i digress, i only kept those boards on the ncu pinterest...

( which is linked right here! btw, to the other anon in my box, i know the smile pendejo pins are down horrendous, i'm so sorry omg )

...as bonus for all of you ( that, again, i wasn't sure anyone really cared or was interested but just in case ) and because i had a lot of muse for it, so i was using those boards to develop my tfbw lore and its specific style which...is coming along really well, i think! <333

for ease of access, here is a link to toolstan's board and here is the link to kitekyle's board. i am also going to link you two important posts that i made while troubleshooting the ncu tfbw, this one right here is mostly about toolshed/tfbw ncu stan, is very kyshed heavy and features a lot about the superhero group/regular dynamics.

whereas this post is mostly about human kite kyle, is very stankite heavy and goes into a lot about the insidious underworkings of the plot, the reactions to mutations, the consequences of ignorance.

tbh friend, i actually only didn't make an main ncuniverse rpg/ff board for them because i haven't named it yet? it's working title is project mephesto, i was also thinking about the mephesto manifesto, operation mephesto...i'll try n explain: if this is lame, pls don't boo me.

so the mephesto portion being so crucial to the fanfic name is bc the whole fucked up hub of the tfbw universe i crafted is centered around a totalitarian dictator-type dr. mephesto who runs mephesto labs, a mutant 'rehabilitation' center which operates very surreptitiously and suspiciously ( especially in turns of O.K :) or...Operation Kevin. )

tldr: the fbw ncuniverse is basically a big scifi, supernatural, super-powered, nonhuman species xenophobic, dystopian fauxciety run by a totalitarian regime thats spearheaded/heavily propagandized by...

the intelligent, the incontestable, and deeply diabolically detestable,

dr. alphonse mephesto. ;)

*evil scifi music* dun dun DUUUUUUUN~

i got sidetracked, sorry! but i am so glad you are enjoying the boards! i am going possibly start up a ff/main board for project mephesto or idk operation kevin or Everything Is Going To Be O.K :) -- thats the evil slogan mayhaps? & maybe make kiteshed an otp board?

WHICH EVERY SECTION IS GONNA BE COMPLICATED BC OF THE LOVE RECTANGLE bc of kyle/stan, kite/shed, ky(le)/shed, stan/kite smh. i love the love rectangle so much it is giving very much miraculous lady bug if it was gayer and really fucked up & upsetting uGH....i love it but its such a doomed disaster, smhhh. </33 rip :'((

i will say that i'm not sure if i'm ready to make it a full rpg ( just bc it would involve so many side characters bc of the fp/r&c and you guys see how i'm coping w/ having to incorporate/thoughtfully create backstories/lore all of them into rm...very badly ) but i am thinking of writing some one shots for them to get that muse out there. <333

i thot abt specifically doing one where kyle rings toolshed on the beeper he gave them in case kyle is in trouble -- and kyle ringing it for stupid stuff just to see shed and oggle him ( i get it kyle but smh )

or like alien!kite taking who they think is their human stan ( does not know stan is shed/is mutated ) down to the mutant undercity where none of the heavily mutated/banished people trust him...but then stan rizzes all the undercitizens by absolutely clearing and devouring their weird scary alien slime food and winning the crazy and intense mutant glorg drinking contest and being able to drink so much of it as a human?? that every1 was impressed by him n want 2 keep him smh all the mutant people are like i like that lil human boy, kyte :) <3

[ sidebar shoutout to that one tweet i made where i was talking abt stan kissing alien!form!kite w/ tongue ;) and kyte gasping and pulling away all like What Human Mouth Sorcery Did You Just To Do Me??? and yes stan thought it was cute omg liv laff luv ur secret alien bf xx ]

speaking of love, i <3 sleep deprieved (p)ath(l)etic but ripped asf tall blonde hair wasian superhero, secretly mutated, late nite fast-food takeout delivery boy moped/moShed 'gearshift' full time vet-tech student, part time mechanic, part time football college scholarship quaterback stan and secret alien kyle with the gigantic red-ginger fro and the cool blue skin, white freckle white hair alien form who is confused abt human customs and being brainwashed into their villian arc bc if you cannot be loved, you can be feared right? AAAA

also pls note: art history philosophy major kyle trying to draw things they remember abt shed bc the disguise technology makes it hard to know what he really looks like & stan being confused abt developing a crush on h.k. bc Thats My Nemesis but also waah theyre cute???

WERE IN HELL AGAIN MY FRIENDS! WHATS NEW! ask me any questions you want about my ncu style or the universe, i seriously have so much to say about it and i am obsessed with it help!!!!!

-UNCLE NINA FERAL ABOUT THE TFBW UNIVERSE I CREATED

#i am...literally obsessed with the ncu tfbw world and style love rectangle they are my heroes...and villians if u will #kyle is antihero he is miunderstood!#if ur society hated u and wanted u dead ud be a villian too ok? evil is created evil is not born #i am so passionate abt them i love them so bad theyre so iconic my angels omg #human stan bodying all the alien customs and being the undercities special token human boy #and kyle being very gently heartwarmed by it #i love it here #kyle talking about stan to shed and telling shed they spent 5ever in love with stan but its ok bc now 'i have you shed' <333 #STAN SCREAMING CRYING AND THROWING UP LIKE HAHAHA YEP HAHA FUCK THIS IS SO FUN #amazing

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worstsequence · 1 year

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#historically rage filled day yes its steddie characterizations again yes i struggle with regulating my engage #ment with fandoms in a way thats healthy for me and am still bad at learnimg to scroll #yes i love the fandom yes its the only thing that brings me remotely any joy all these things are true #hate the double standards of the way people write steve vs the way they write eddie.#hate course correcting 'the party is too mean to steve' to Now theyre mean to eddie.#in ways that should definitely be hurting his feelings and yet its seen as cute and silly #steve and robin can be mean to him and its just their dynamic 🤪#people can fill in empty spots in steves backstory with subtext but with eddie suddenly its all about canon #yes theres 18000 fics and the opposite is presumably out there. i just have never seen it #yes its probably the yaoification. the inability to not strip characters down to fit them into top bottom tropes.#if i read bottom eddie id probab;y find more of this. however i dont want to do that #hate steve meangirlisms cute and charming and everyones like oh steve but eddie has 1000 sins to repent for.#again -resumably a course correction of people writing steve as still having to repent for s1. which i agree is dumb and wrong #but its annoying when steve being judgy is seen as a likeable character trait but eddie does the same thing and suddenly he owes every #character an apology #hate that eddies insecurities are villainized but steves insecure suddenly its eddie and everyone elses job to fix him.#i just want better for both of them neither of them feel like themselves so often. which. again. is an mlm trope problem i think.#also yes steve is a main character and eddie is a dead side character. so more people are attatched to him and he has more stake like #in the narrative.#🕷.archive #eddie meta

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malikselfindulgence · 6 months

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Worsties of all time I need them grinded to fine dust and then inhaled by a whale

[Template under the cut]

#durianshipping #malik'll makenone 4 him and mei when she's like fronting #oc: Morshid lmk #u dont know how long i stared at the selfishness vs selflessness for a good or bad cause box for swk #almost all of this is them being unreliable narrators btw . theyre so stupid #they gain respect for each other later on after morshid sees swk put himself in danger for MK but it starts out garbage #the thing is morshid's feelings for swk change before swk's except he doesnt reallh say anything that could signify this #so theres a period of time where morshid like . DOESNT hate swk and doesnt understand why swk hates him #meanwhile swk is getting the MOST bizarre signals thrown at him he thought they had a dynamic going and suddenly that's Not Happening #and he doesnt know what to do w it #and swk like TRIES to match the spirit but it just makes Morshid mean again [Morshid doesn't expect kindness and Therefore nice gestures are #false and violent in nature. he is being kind to give me false hope and make it hurt worse] so theyre like . back at square zero #and they dont really want to fight anymore but what else do they have . screaming doesn't feel good anymore. hurting you just hurts me too #now . but how can they stray out of this and into something new and unfamiliar and terrifying??#kings of zero communication despite preaching communication . ♡ I love them i want them dead #self shipping #self ship #oc x canon

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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years

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#...... i think too its not just that im bony #its all the new cuts too #...this is the first time after uhhh. round 2 of taking things way too far that ive seen myself. alone. naked. in a coldly lit changing #room #like #fuck #we really did a number on this body #ive been joking for a long time that i look like an okapi or a zebra but like... damn #idk they dont bother me. they never have #im not grosses out by them or even ashamed nor do i even think theyre ugly honestly. but #along with all the bones i just had this feeling of like. oh lol this aint normal. again like..... I looked like A Creature #which on one hand kinda sick bc slightly nonhuman looking half dead but still beautiful but kinda scary creature is exactly what i was #going for in my teen years. and w the meds ive achieved it with 0 severe anorexic stress or obsession or even feeling hunger basically at #all. just empty #but im...older now #and. yea idk if that's really the standard i have anymore #.......what i see now is just. wear. i see my pain and trauma and my souls repeted death. in the way this flesh looks #..... i think back then i used to get a lot more enjoyment out of having a physical representation of how bad im doing psychologically #but i just. dont enjoy my own pain and suffering that much anymore lmao. even i managed to get fed up with the masochism past a certain #point #..... and i think its also that. while im definitely not great (i did spend the last weeks to months posting on here abt how i wanna die #every day lmao) ive also been A LOT worse #all the scars are from... a lot worse. all the bones - i usually only saw them like this when i was a lot worse #..... its almost like idk. looking at it (me) with more sober eyes #.....i hate how tired i look too #i really need to quit smokiny #that shits doing me worse than the not eating or the cutting or any other damn thing

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post3l · 10 months

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iam showing symptoms of mental illness!!!!!!!! /vent

#imm so scared actually i REALLY hope nothging bad comes out of this. and it will because im a stupid dumb idiot #ashy you are so fuckign stupid honestly............. begging to get people to know you and be your friend and now u wanna push them away-#because youre feeling too many thigns at once and dont know how to cope?????? sososososo stupid. need to be shot #i fuckign love my friends. to death i love hanging out with them and laughing and watching stuff and everything but. fuck im so anxious im-#gonna fuck this up so bad and theyre gonna hate me foreveer. im soooo sososo anxious and so paranoid everyone is after me n want me dead #I DONT KNOW sorry for venting i have no one to vent to. my silly little life #wordswordswords #ACK these fucking thoughts wont go away until i adctually end up alone again forever. so awesome yeah totally i deserve this kind of pain-#im stupid idiot dumb and wanna kms fora while. lets see what comes out of my thesis draft next week and ill cosnsider it a bit more serious #-y i dont know. i love and hate feeling things. so much forevr #whatever. laying donw in the ocean waiting for the tides to swoop me in and i disappear forever ok????#i don t know how to talk to people and communicate properly. thi sis the worst #just................. tlel me you dont hate me. all i want forever #sooo fucking anxious my hands are trembling and im crying a little bit #oo my ass is not finishing this essay

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kellystar321 · 2 years

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here we go again~!

#periodical life updates #(there's no period but its general life update time babey!! btw hindsight this ones very long prepare for an extension if you hit readmore)#im going to draw first because i have good old fashioned loverboy stuck in my head and there's a drawfee episode i can draw to #well im gonna finish my tea and then im gonna draw <3 then i'll probably add things to queue after that #i have to cook eggrolls tonight too #eggrolls are such a hassle because i cant do anything worthwhile while theyre cooking i have to attend to them at moments notice -.- <33 #maybe i'll play the mad rat dead demo again who knows~#i am not a gamer and i still cant do hard mode <3 i will also never buy the full game because jegus 40 dollars is a lot and ive seen the-#plot already and i would not get it for further gameplay because i would suck at it <33 but i like the demo! i LOVE the music! and i can-#play it while eggrolls cook because stages are short and i can pause whenever <3 also ive been listening to the ost on repeat #there are NO BAD SONGS IN MAD RAT DEAD. NONE. THEY'RE ALL BANGERS THEY'RE ALL GOOD also If We Could Be Friends made me cry <3 #okay thats all the mad rat dead talk we're moving on!! drew a new sticksona you'll see it eventually! my friend DREW ME AND IGNGJHFBJFNHBD!#WAHHH;;; it is so pretty shes so good at coloring and i admire them ALWAYS <3 i drew me and him together <33 #we trade doodles sometimes <33 i hope they know they dont have to draw for me; theyre such a sweetheart and i worry she overworks herself-#he draws for other people and fandoms often and i just hope he takes care of himself <33 people who draw for other people deserve the world #have also been drawing eca things! love how the next part of the caving in arc is turning out <3 finished a different comic; started one-#ive been meaning to draw <3 gotta finish the caving in arc; gotta do the seven-spotted arc and the creators and creation arc <3 #if i have time i want to do the ghost of your former self arc <3 oh eca my little guy i love you so much <33 i have an ecacore and acecore-#tag now! i also want to make other -core tags for my ocs so i might just make a general oc core tag because thats too many <3 #oh speaking of too many tags this is the 20th tag so the rest will be cut off <3 anyway! queued stuff hopefully! ✌️

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dowotdashdotdot · 3 months

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is there an antonym for cooking bc jesus fuck that was the worst game of SDVX i think ive ever played

server maintenance just started right when i put in my cred so i had to play offline and dear god. the valk was taken so now now im playing a guest game on an old cab and oh my god the springs

it felt like the mushiest mess ever. the right FX button kept ghosting and would make the song select nearly uncontrollable. the knobs? those werent knobs, those were… indescribable

they were both too loose and tight at the same time, they jiggled so much and boy howdy

sdvx cab from hell

passed a 14 tho 👍

#and its even sadder because the r1 im at #just got rid of the other standard cab #so now its the worst condition standard and a valk which is perfectly fine #but now u have no choice to wait for the valk #they dropped the pop’n too #half the lights in the chunis are dead and theyre paradise lost and offline #but of course the iidx cabs r brand new #they have two lightning model epolis cabs #god i wish they fucking upgrade the poor chunis #take the pair of sad waccas out of their misery #they keep getting all the new weird sega games #chrono circle isnt that bad but i feel like maimai would get so much more play #the sticks on the taiko are like several millimeters narrower than the used to be #its just sad the selection #no jubeat #no maimai #barely even chuni #just drop the fucking dance arounds i have seen zero ppl play them ever #im not asking for like a row of valks n shit but just like #it hurts how sad the rhythm section has become in my local r1 #this is the singular access to any non ddr arcade rhythm i have #hhhhbbbnnhhh #rhythm games #sdvx #chunithm #i cant even read the tags anymore as im typing them #thank you tumblr

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timeisacephalopod · 7 months

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I watched this two hour long vid on cannibalism in media and I gotta say it was so refreshing to watch 2 hours of content that at no point whines about """"problematic"""" aspects of media like anyone watches CANNIBALISM on screen and decides to EAT PEOPLE about it and then got treated to a bunch of OTHER taboo subjects being brought up in a thoughtful, media analysis way that was interesting and beautifully written and delivered. They've got some stuff on Lolita that I think would be worth the watch because I won't get a 2 hour lecture on how fucking 12 year olds is bad as if the writer of the novel didn't know that and wrote that guy as a fucked up nasty on purpose and it's not the books fault creeps decided it was a romance because they've got piss poor reading comprehension, or movie comprehension, or idea comprehension depending on what Lolita media they got into or even just heard about.

I gotta say after years of "if you READ INCEST you want to FUCK YOUR SISTER" on Tumblr it was a delight for the creator to skip that bullshit and get into what incest in media REPRESENTS. Also no accusations of "glorifying" anything when the definition of that for those that use that term is "depicts X Bad Thing in Any Way I Don't Like (which is EVERY way)." Finally some good fucking media analysis that doesn't try and hand me a lecture about how Murder Is Bad as if people kill people because they watched it on TV one time and it totally altered their entire morality system because that's how these types think "problematic" shit in media works because they're sad little babies who need moral lessons spelled out for them like media for 6 years olds since adults obviously can't be trusted to think Bad Things in media ARE in fact not good.

#winters ramblings #call me by your name cropped up and i was like if i hear ONE MORE THING about that problematic age gap ill LOSE IT #its not that i disagree but for fucks sakes can you at least analyze the ACTUAL movie and not your thoughts in the characters ages please #and the amount of horror stuff that came up i half expected a lecture on that too and didnt get one like THANK you #we ALL know cannibal Holocaust is an awful racist movie witH ACTUAL animal death but do we seriously need a lecture on “glorifying” death #or murder or whatever the fuck because thats what that movie CLAIMS to criticize by doing the exact shit theyre criticizing #but ACTUALLY killing those animals not fake killing them like normal movies but still horror doesnt glorify murder for fucks sake #and if youre so BRAIN DEAD you cant watch a movie about fucked up subjects without shrieking about Bad Things then #do us ALL a favor and stick with steven universe from what i watched it was good and its for kids so youll get all the moral lessons #you desire. then go watch other kids media if you cant be fucking trusted to read about cannibalism or incest or murder or whatever #without IMMEDIATELY being concerned you or someone else will Do The Bad Movie or TV or Book Things because people dont have brains i guess #you just pour Hannibal in there and now were all professional chefs eating people who were rude to us thats how media works I guess

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arolesbianism · 8 months

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Love pulling names out of my ass and then googling them just to make sure the random amalgamation of sounds I made isn't like a slur or smth

#rat rambles #oc posting #anyways courtney's mom and her siblings have names now!#I went with a rly dumb naming theme with them which somehow ended in me naming one of them bywist but whatever #now I just need to design them #all 8 of them. sigh.#ok technically Ive attempted to design wylie (courtney's mom) before but it turned out rly bad so attempt 2 babey #and lyra already has a design shes a character I traded for a while back #she just needs an anthro design to match the others #everyone else tho? gotta build from the ground up #ok thats a lie bywist is gonna be based off courtney's lion half so thats something ig #it was actually one of his ancestors that would end up involved in courtney's resurection #theres also a pair of twins I have design ideas for (dynk and dynx) but they might be tricky still #the other two are gonna be mostlt improvised tho I genuinely have no idea what I want to do with them #either way theyre all dead so I rly shouldnt stress too much over making them all look perfect #wylie matters more so tho shes actually hashtag relevant to courtney stuff

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samwisefamgee · 1 year

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i have GOT to stop using reddit in the morning i want to fucking KILL someone

#its the withdrawls not the reddit lol #but man like three minutes of scrolling this morning and i wanna give some particular rich folk and politicians the shinzo abe special NOW #hey goodmornin goodlookin its me reddit did you want to be incited to radical action before breakfast? cause i gotchu #the horrors really piled up fast lol i am at the end of this frayed rope and god willing i'll kill myself before I do something stupid #but man am i a violently untreated mentally ill traumatized kid with waaayy too much unrestrained access to guns #is it weird that one of the reasons i havent shot myself while livin in this hell is cause grandpa would feel guilty for leavin guns out?#who could do that to an over 80 year old man. i mean cmon. ill be free when theyre all dead anyway i can wait right?#but yeah he should really lock those up before I take a trip across stateline #AGAIN its the withdrawls ill definitely be fine once i smoke weed cause thats for sure how this works #the deeper implications deeeefinitely wont have an impact on my longterm wellbeing its deeefinitely just withdrawls #ok its actually just bad but hey its sure easier to think less about all that n about dying when im baked enough to not go shitfuck insane

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planetary · 7 months

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25 SHOCKING TRUTHS ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD TV SHOWS😱

1. POKEMON - ash is in a coma and the show is he's dreaming

2. RUGRATS - the babies are on drugs

3. edd edd eddy - they died in 1962 (tuberculosis)

4. scoopy doo - theyre on drugs too and the dog cant really talk :(

5. rugrats - angela is in a coma and the show is her dream

6. spongbob - songebob is in a coma and the show is his dream

7. spongebob - spongebob and his friends are the christian hell sins

8. spoinegbob - squidward is heroin?

9. COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG - it was real it was all real none of that was a dream or a nightmare everything you remember is real

10. rugarts - angela is on drugs and all the other ones are dead

11. jimmy neutraon - jimmy is weird because he is gay

12. fairly oddparsnts - timmy is in a coma and the show is his dream

13. spongebob - sandy is taxidermy

14. higgly town heroes - higgly town is all cannibals and they eat other people and thats why they do that . how could they do that..? my heroes..

15. max & ruby - they are bunny rabbits and thast because thrre was. an apocalypse and max is a real human little boy but there was an apocalypse and his parents died and he's with ruby but he got hit on the head with a steel pipe because of the apocalypse so now he's in a coma and the show is his dream

16. disney aladdin movie - the tiger head cave is really really scary

17. danny phantom died - this one really happened they tell you in the theme song and you can see it happen in blood and gorey detail if you watch that one scary episode that only comes on at 3am. does anyone else remember that episode

18. dora the explorer - dora is on crack

19. faaiely odd parents - the fairies are drugs and timmy takes drugs and maybe goes into a coma for this reason and maybe has a dream that they're his magic fairies

20. caillou - hes bald. this theoru explains that cailiu has no hair because he is bald. and perhaps his parents are nice to him because he is bald. this could also explain why he has no hair (because hes bald)

21. courage the cowarsly dog - courage is a dog and he's in a coma and

22. the magic schoolbus - its magic because the bus was on drugs and then it blew up (becasue it was high) and they all went to purgatory and clones took their place

23. tom and jerry - tom should have been allowed to cook and eat that baby chick. and its fucked up that the show didnt allow him to. me and my friends watched it and we were all clapping and cheering for him to cook and eat it and we were so excited but of course the writers pussied out and didnt let him do it

24. finding nemo - that thing in the beginning didnt even happen but the dad made that story up so people would feel bad for him

25. sponegbob - in the latest season patrick says "Ok boomer!" to mermaid man and barancle boy

CHILDHOOD = RUINED 😫

#roscoe read this out loud and it was funny. he said i should post it #unreality #chatter🦋#coma tw #coma #drug mention #family death

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uglyducklingofthe2000s · 3 months

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omg i understand its okay🥹🤍

then can i request a fic w lando where the reader is really down lately, not eating or sleeping and just like sad because she’s feeling rly nostalgic and theyre away from home and she’s like scared of growing up (even tho she’s like barely 21) and lando gets really concerned when he notices shes losing weight and sleep and stuff so he confronts her and she breaks down😔 sry if that made no sense again just smthn im going through because i keep listening to ribs by lorde

We Have A Life Together - LN

First of all, I hope you're ok. Please make sure you're taking care of yourself, if you're that young it's so important to know that you there's good and bad days for all of us. But never ever put selfceare as the last priority.

I am going to alter this slightly. I'm going to make her closer to Lando's age, if that's ok, just bc I have an idea that I feel like would work well for the fearing growing up idea.

Y/n loves nothing more than being there to support Lando, she wants to see him succeeding. But sometimes these things come at a cost for herself.

Y/n hasn't been sleeping or eating for what feels like weeks, maybe months now.

"Baby...are you coming with me or joining later?" Lando asks, waking her up from the depth of sleep as he kisses her shoulder, his hands either side of her body to keep himself held up over her.

"Later. I'm still tired." Y/n murmurs not opening her eyes and while she hears a sigh from the driver before he kisses her skin softly again.

"Ok, I'll see you later." He states while she tries not to grimace, though her face is pressed mostly into the pillow so he can't really see it. "Make sure you order something from room service. You missed breakfast."

Y/n knows it's a new low to pretend to sleep just so she can rot in bed but it's the only thing she has the energy to today. In the moment, she can't possibly think of anything worse than getting up and trying to look presentable.

When her alarm goes to let her know she's really pushing her luck to get showered, ready and to the paddock before Lando is actually out on the track. She finally peels herself out of the bed and drags herself to the bathroom.

She's began to lose the ability to recognise herself. The dark bags weighing her whole face down, she's exhausted. The lack of sleep is visibly and her face has hollowed out by the lack of appetite that's meant she's lost weight too, only adding to her woes.

It's only a matter of time before Lando breaks up with her. They might be getting older but the two of them are not nearing the point of "for better or worse" so he's got no obligation to stay with her while she stops taking care of herself.

After her best efforts to look more alive and less like a dead body walking. She finally leaves, getting a car to the paddock and making her way inside.

Her mind wanders, as it seems to a lot recently, leaving her bumping into a body and with her lack of eating means her ability to react quick enough to catch herself leaves her landing ungracefully on the ground.

"Ow." Y/n winces as the body she bumps into rushes to aid her getting up.

"Y/n, I'm so sorry." George states as he hooks his hands under her armpits and nearly throws her up onto her feet. "Oh bloody hell, sorry. You're lighter than I expected. Nearly caused more injury there. Are you alright?"

"No. No. I'm fine. It's my fault, I wasn't even looking where I was going." Y/n rambles shaking her head and noticing George frown at her. "Have you seen Lando? Just easier to ask than go looking and find he's not in the unit."

"I saw him doing some video content with Oscar. I think they're out on the track to be honest." George states then clearing his throat. "Are you sure you're alright? You hit the ground pretty hard."

Y/n thinks of the ache humming through her bones from the impact. Losing weight certainly means less cushioning for falls in clumsy moments.

"I'm good, certainly landed myself with worse injuries on a night out on the town." Y/n jokes managing to give the blonde brit a genuine smile. "I should go, I got here late. Needed extra sleep."

That seems to go unbelieved if George's expression is anything to go off of. Not that she's surprised, her attempts at covering up her exhaustion haven't done much to really improve anything.

"I'll see you guys later." Y/n smiles before she rushes off trying to locate her boyfriend. The last thing she really wants is to have to deal with other people, she was hoping to find him on his own. The marketing girls can get a little possessive over the McLaren drivers' attention being on anyone but them when they're trying to make content and Lando is...easily distracted by his girlfriend.

After about 10 minutes of looking, she manages to locate them.

They're doing some sort of race but as she appears she sees the marketing team deflate.

Lando is in the car with Oscar and when she walks over to the team, one particularly nasty girl looks her up and down.

"You look awful, when Lando said you'd be here late. I thought you might be actually making an effort when you come here." Katie comments making her sigh a little before deciding to remain quiet with young woman.

"Baby! There you are. I got your message but I was told off for being on my phone." Lando chuckles as he jumps out the car and moves to her, though he notices an injury both her and George really hadn't noticed. "Are you bleeding?"

His large hand grabs her wrist and shoves a scrap that she really hadn't noticed.

"Oh, uh...yeah. I bumped into George when I was on my way and fell over like an idiot." Y/n explains trying to be nonchalant as Lando inspects her injury. "Honestly, just wasn't looking where I was going."

"Guys, are we done?" Lando asks looking at the marketing team.

"Well we wanted to-"

"Sounds like a yes. I'm just taking y/n to the medical centre to clean her up." Lando states making the marketing team watch with strained smiles as they nod.

At one point they had tried to speak up to Lando about y/n disrupting content recording. So he told them that if they had something like that to say ever again then he'd be happy to tell them to fuck off, as he did on that occasion.

After she's cleaned up with instruction to be more careful Lando pulls her to his drivers' room.

"What did you get to eat?" Lando asks, already knowing the answer that she's about to give him.

"Oh uhh...I ended up not ordering. Figured I'd get something here." Y/n smiles always trying to appear happy and positive with her boyfriend especially when they're in the paddock and around his work.

"Baby, we need to talk." Lando states making her swallow thickly and look at him with a sigh. "What's going on?"

"What do you me?" Y/n questions with a small laugh and strained smile.

"Y/n, you're exhausted. You think I don't know you're not sleeping and not eating? I'm not blind. So can you please tell me why so I can help you however I need to so you are sleeping and eating again?"

Y/n knows that for Lando to call her out, it's his breaking-point. He doesn't like to talk about this sort of thing unless completely necessary.

"I'm scared." Y/n whispers knowing that to try and deny it would be a pointless effort.

"Scared of what?" Lando asks softly, almost fearing that it's him that's scaring her.

"It's just...everything is moving so quickly. You're 25 next year, and then I'm 25 after that and I miss home-god, I just I feel so homesick but then when I go home. I almost feel homesick with being away from you. I just feel like I'm getting left behind or being dragged along and I feel like such a burden to you. The anxiety is stopping me from sleeping and just the thought of food when it's in front of me makes me feel nauseous." Y/n starts crying harder and harder as she speaks and rambles.

"Ok, ok. Ok, let's just breathe and calm down." Lando soothes standing up and rushing to stand with her. "I've got you, just breathe with me."

His arms squeeze her as tightly as he feels like he can without making her heavy breathing worse.

Bjut eventually she's calmed down.

"Alright, baby. Do you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think we need to get our families coming out to a few more races so you don't have to feel so homesick. We need to get more of your stuff over to our place in Monaco so you feel more at home. And you need to remember that...we are getting older but whenever I think of our future I think of...what ring I might get you...how you might look when I see you on the day of our wedding being walked down the aisle by your dad...how amazing you're going to look pregnant with any one of our kids...what we're going to speak the years after I retire doing because god we'll have so much time that you'll wish I would just leave you alone, but I won't. I can't imagine a future without you, but we have soooo much time before all of that. Well...most of it, maybe somethings will be coming sooner rather than later."

Y/n does finally smile in a way that he knows is her real genuine smile that isn't forced for anyone else's benefit.

"You're confident I'll be saying yes to a proposal."

"You can say that, but we both know I'm not wrong...look, it's ok to get in your head. But just tell me and I'll reassure you and let you know if it's worth being so neglectful towards yourself. Which for the record it's not. Especially when I am superhuman and can and will do anything and everything as a solution to whatever you're upset about, ok?"

"Ok."

"So does everything I said sound ok? Are you happy for us to figure this out all together?"

"Yes."

"Now, can we get you like three plates of food to eat. I'm going to sit with you and eat too, and make sure you eat everything I give you."

"Alright."

"Good. Well lets get moving because no better time like the present. Plus I'm hungry too." Lando smiles while moving to kiss her which she is more than accepting of before he manages to scoop her up. "Just in case you were planning on making a run for it. Or bumping into another driver who can apparently cause more damage than you realise."

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weirdmageddon · 6 months

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i posted this on twitter also but it’s still eating at me. i’m so fucking embarrassed to be jewish rn. i dont want to be associated with this ongoing bullshit from israel. why do we need our own state. theyre just making every jew across the globe look bad in general even though many of us are conflicted about zionism and the legitimacy of israel as a state

people have hated jews throughout history for no fuckin reason but now israel exists but now its like. GIVING people reasons to hate us as a group. note that i DON’T conflate zionism with jewishness, but a lot of people in the world don’t know the difference because theyre uninformed and been dripfed cultural antisemitic tropes their whole life and that’s the scary part is them falsely putting two and two together. like what the fuck israel stop youre just putting fuel on the fire for people around the world to hate an entire group of historically persecuted people if youre being this shitty with your insane colonialism and apartheid like……I Want No Fuckin Part Of This. you’re spelling our own doom. you cant just swoop in and go “mine now” and then oppress the people you took land from under a regime without my blood boiling at the injustice no matter WHO you are. even if my lineage is tied to you. so when news outlets support israel it doesn’t feel like they have the best interest of jews as a people in mind. it’s in the interest of a zionist ethnostate and whatever that christian zionism belief is about the jewish people returning to the holy land as prerequisite for the second coming of jesus. its not like they care about us as a dispersed ethnocultural group, it’s all for that religious narrative that a bunch of people in the US are backing.

saying you want all jews to die is antisemitic. beating someone up because they’re jewish and no other reason without knowing their views is antisemitic. criticizing human rights violations perpetrated by israel and the belief that one group deserves more rights another is not antisemitic. and the fact that israel has the ability to pull that antisemitism card in response to criticisms of the violations they commit because their state is the “jewish homeland” drives me fucking insane. take fucking accountability for your actions. and yes, there do exist full-on anti-jewish groups in the middle east that go beyond hatred of israel’s policies and existence as a state and i’m tired of people pretending there aren’t in fear of appearing to seem like they support the state of israel. on the other side of things many people overestimate this by fearmongering and saying EVERY arab is out to get jews worldwide, telling people like me “they want YOU dead”. this is not the belief every person in the middle east and it really rubs me the wrong way that people group millions of individuals into all-encompassing lumps like this. many people there do understand nuance of this political situation.

even if i have that “right of return” by israeli law or whatever, i don’t feel obliged to it; it does not register as fair. why do i have a “right of return” when i’ve never even been there in the first place while palestinians who have homes there can’t return to them? what’s the basis for that? substituting objective reality with an imaginary reality? i don’t think like that. i can hypothetically come and go whenever i please but palestinians are severely limited in mobility? what makes me more entitled to that land than the people who lived there for centuries? nothing that comes from natural law thats for sure. it’s all artificial and inflated.

but at the same time i also dont want to be the target of antisemitism and caught in the fray just for being ethnically jewish. once people start calling for the genocide of entire groups we’ve got issues (and you better believe this absolutely applies to the palestinian victims in gaza too), because people who dissent to the violence perpetrated by the loudest are caught in there with the people who are perpetrating the violence. lack of nuance. people conflating israel and its zionist apartheid policies with jewish ethnicity and culture worldwide. other people conflating being terrorist anti-jew with muslims worldwide (like that 6-year old palestinian-american boy that was just stabbed to death in chicago). scary times man. but as a jew i can’t just opt out of this if it’s how i was born as. i don’t have control over that. but i can control what i think and what my beliefs are

#israel palestine conflict #israel #palestine #what i feel is right most strongly resonates with secular humanist philosophy #never really found the right way to explain my worldview until i read about it

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