#tua uma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

panthera-tigris-venenata · 2 years

Text

The super-self-indulgend crossover of The Umbrella Academy and Descendants.

@lyramundana

Here you go, enjoy.

At the end of the 3rd series, Five doesn't lose his powers, at least not right now, not entirely- he has enough for one last jump, one last desperate attempt to save his powers, the word as he knows it, and maybe his life. It's not spatial jump, not even a time jump, it's something way more dangerous, prohibited by every Commission rulebook there is, and no sane person would ever try it, but Five has moved beyond „sane“ a long time ago.

He jumps through dimensions.

Lila, the mirror, follows him within seconds. She doesn't care for dying any more than she cares for the rulebook: she read them once and decided they suck.

Klaus crashes the dimension they landed in after about two days of continual deaths, at least five screaming matches with god, and good deal of closely-unspecified drugs.

He never read the rulebook.

He did, however, read his fair share of fairytales, so he recognises the dimension they found themselves in the first. Or maybe he is still of his rocket, hard to know.

Either way, he falls down on the decrepit, dark street, pulls himself upwards, not bothering to dust himself, and looks around.

„Hey! You look like Malefincent! Like, horns and all!“ he informs a tiny woman who os passing by in flaring robes. She turns around and glows her eyes green at him. She also almost hits him with her scepter, but Klaus is very good at dodging.

„Oh!“ he beams at her, „You are Maleficent!“

She attempts to hit him again.

„Have you seen my brother here? Tiny man, grumpy, kidna cute when he wants to be? Can jump through time and space? Can slaughter a whole room of grown men with a fire-emergency axe? Asks for a black coffee every half an hour?“

...And the Maleficent woman is gone. Nice.

„Someone? Anyone?!“ he yells through the ally. And Klaus was so sure he got the right dimension this time!

Eventually, someone drags him to the Slop Shop in the port, where Five is, sure enough, drinking the disgusting thing they call coffee.

Klaus is well aware the kids attempt to rob him blind, too, but jokes on them, he has nothing worth stealing.

„Hi little man!“ Klaus rushes to hug his brother and take a sip his coffee. Turns out Five has already spiked the disgusting bitter thing with something. „Finally found you!“

„What the hell are you doing here, Klaus?“ Five asks instead of greeting. Rude.

„Why, looking for my favourite brother, of course! Well, second favourite-“

„...Ben has been dead for years,“ mutters Five and Klaus proceeds to ignore him.

„Anyway, did you meet Maleficent yet? She is such a lovely lady!“

Five almost chokes: „Maleficent?!“

...And that's how the brothers find out they accidentally crashed a nightmare dystopia version of happily ever after.

Lila knew already. Probably. At either rate, she has been vibing with Facilier sisters the whole time. She was also the first one to discover that the kids of this dimension got their powers. Suddenly. Apparently, they had no powers before, and magic doesn't work on the Iske, whatever the Isle is.

Good for them, decides Lila, as she still has her mirror powers.

She also decides she will be having few strong, ehm, words of choice, with whoever made the Isle. The words being „yelling till their ears bleed“, „some strategically applied torture“, „defenestration“, and maybe „arson“ and „explosives“.

...Yeah, no. Those are not gonna be words. Lila's gonna kill that bloody bastard.

Anyway, the Facilier sisters?

They are kidna cool.

One of them, Celia, Lila thinks, got her power, the mirror. The other sister got the weird raven-thing one of the Sparrows had going on. You know who, that kidna hot goth girl? With the sunglases? Yeah, that one.

So, yeah. But the Facilers are making it work! They've had their powers for about two days and they have enough blackmail material to get half the Isle do their bidding!

Well, enough new blackmail material. They were decently stocked even before.

At this point, a fight breaks out in front of the, ehm, coffee Klaus and Five are sitting in: a dark-haired boy and a blonde girl, a bit younger than him, are yelling at eachother in frankly admirable volume; Klaus winces and raises his hands to his ears. Ow.

Another girl, that looks like a mixture of them both, trails a bit after them, smirking, and casually picking up the daggers they threw and other weapons they dropped. Sure. Looks fun.

Oh. And the younger girl starts spitting. Nice.

„Don't spit at your brother, Calista!“ scolds the older girl, „Not even if your saliva makes him see things! Especially then-“

They boy protests and they move to yell at eachother somewhere else. The space around them is suddenly completely empty, which might or might not have something to do with the sudden suffocating feeling of dread Klaus is feeling: his head hurts, too, and he has trouble breathing.

„What was that?“ he whines.

„That, brother dear,“ answers Five, putting down his spiked drink, which is not worthy of the name coffee, „I have been trying to figure out for the last two days, up until you showed up and told me that apparently, you have met Maleficent, and that the shop across the street is run by Ursula the sea witch.“

A group of ragged teens enters the gruesome estabilishment, so loud that the Umbrella brothers have no choice but to have the displeasure to hear their conversation:

„So... Our Captain suddenly has tentacles?“

„Sure.“

„Well, she's half sea witch anyway, so I would worry about that too much.“

„I'd worry about that! Especially if the tentacles are creepy af and want to rip people apart!“

„...Still no real change here.“

„Besides, the only creepy thing here is the fact that our firts mate finds it hot.“

„...I hate you all and I hope you all burn in hell for reminding me of that.“

Klaus chokes a laugh and the teenage pirates continue talking:

„Hey, speaking of creepy things, have y'all noticed the weird creepy feeling you get when he looks you in the eye? It low-key makes me wanna die.“

„Sucks for you, mate. I stopped looking Harry Hook in the eye years ago.“

„... That's fair.“

The teens grab their drinks and exit the shop without paying, rapidly pursued by a couple of angry... Goblins? Well, those creatures are absolutely creepy enough to be goblins, so, yeah.

Five pours another shot of alcohol into the pitiful remainer of his coffee and mutters something like „can't catch a fucking break“, „gotta find a way out of this mess“ and „at least the bloody apocalypse had rules.“

Now, ehm, some of the TUA powers I gave to Descendants kids? Maybe some „interesting“ bits of trivia as well?

Freddie Facilier got Fey's birds. She didn't lose her sight, though. And she is having quite a lot of fun with her new spies, thank you for asking.

As is Celia, who got Lila's mirror.

None of them has tried to get the birds through the Barrier yet, but if it is possible, well, the Beast would be losing his eyes very soon. And the Remote to the Barrier immediately after. Probably also a good deal of the less gaudy royal jewels.

Look, all three of them are opportunistic bitches (affectionate) and I love them. That's why none of the Facilier sisters got Klaus's immortality and ghost powers.

Speaking of Klaus's immortality and ghost powers, I was thinking either Carlos de Vil or Claudine Frollo.

CJ Hook got Jayme's Nightmare Venon and it's my favourite thing. Just. Imagine it. Tiny half feral pirate child CJ Hook, literally spitting at her enemies. And she'd have a blast viewing their hallucinations, too.

Harry got Christopher's Existential Horror. But he is not a cube. Uma would probably break the universe to kill the creator if her boyfriend first mate suddenly turned into a cube.

To get the full brunt of Harry's powers, you need to look him in the eyes. He takes to wearing sunglasses around Uma and Gil.

Speaking of Uma. She gets Ben's Horror, because, come on, her mother is half-octopus. I don't have the energy to figure out anything more complicated.

Harriet, well, idk. Honestly, the funniest scenario is if she gets none, because look at it:

The Hook siblings fight, again. And this time, they apparently added a few crocodiles in the mix to make it „more exciting“.

Five is just starting to figure out that the kids really have the powers like his siblings and the Sparows do. He even pinned some of them down, most notably Harry and CJ, who make no effort to conceal their powers and also apparently feel the need to be the center of attention all the time.

Now he is focusing on their sister: She has just picked up a crocodile with her bare hands and throws it across the street.

„So this one clearly got superstrenght,“ Five mutters.

„Oh, no,“ answers Anthony, making heart eyes at Harriet from the sidelines of the fight, „She could always do that.“

„...What?!“

The Tremaine boy shrugs and says that it comes from a lifetime of wrestling crocodiles, and, excuse me, what?!

What the fuck is wrong with this dimension?!

„Sure. She could always do that. Do you have any alcohol?“ Five compromises, looking around. Anthony pulls out a flask without missing a beat.

So, yeah, she might or might not have superstrenght, but Anthony is biased, so we will never know.

He also comforts her later when she complains that her siblings got powers. This is what he precisely says: „Harriet, you are the scariest person I know, even without mind-altering powers.“ (and it works)

The other option considered for her was the Rumour.

But also.

Evie with the Rumour. Hear me out, Evie with Allison's Rumour. Girl knows how to speak, how to close any loopholes. (Her mother was bored, so she actually taught her stuff-), so, yeah. Evie with the Rumour would be terrifying, but also, she wouldn't abuse it. Too much.

Jay got Diego's power.

Idk, as you can see, I'm obsessed with the pirates (which apparently includes Faciliers and Tremaines, too), so, yeah, this is what I've got.

The rest is like. No plot. Only vibes ✨

And various people rightfully yelling at King Beast and Fairy Godmother.

Maybe a bit of arson.

Oh, of course. Five, Klaus, and Lila help the Isle kids get out of their prison. Because they are decent people, right?

Klaus also takes one look at the Isle kids and goes: „Oh. I guess I'm a parent now.“

So do Lila and Five, but they don't say it out loud.

Five almost gets a heart attack when Lila casually greets him on the streets a day later, because what do you mean you have been here the whole time?!

„Yeah, and?“

Klaus is pretty happy to see Lila and attempts to hug her. She alnost stabs him before dropping the knife and awkwardly patting his back.

And of course, the "we ended the word" conversation I'm bringing back because I think it's hilarious:

Five, trying to get Isle kids to cooperate: „Y'know, we almost destroyed the world three times. We blew up the moon once.“

90% of Isle kids in earshot: „Cool. Can you do it again?“

CJ Hook: „Can you teach me how to blow up the moon?!“

Klaus: „...Ok everyone, I'll be holding a yoga class next morning and a support group after lunch.“

(Against Five's expectations, this conversation does not, in fact, make the Isle kids behave. Not even a bit. Harriet and Ginny show up on the yoga class with a bottle of wine though.)

Yeah, that's all I've got.

#disney descendants #the umbrella academy #crossover #sorry to all TUA fans that will see this and have no idea what is going on #and vice versa #but it's kidna fun so yeah suffer #cj hook #harriet hook #harry hook #uma descendants #isle of the lost #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #lila hargreeves #evie grimhilde #anthony tremaine #also suffer through me shipping who I want (affectionate)

51 notes · View notes