#tw: anti-police themes

[cas-backwards-tie]

Chapter Two: Cruel New World

Heiress of Gotham

Masterlist | Previous Chapter

Bruce Wayne x Daughter!Reader

Summary: It's your first-day living life in Wayne Manor. A new house, a new school, and of course there's the new siblings thing too.

Warnings: Negativity, Damian's Jealous, Talks of Death, Numbness, Depression, Disassociation,t Misandry, Crying, Suicidal Thoughts (if u squint), Existentialism, Cursing, Yelling, Outbursts, Anti-Police Rhetoric, Injury, Blood, Catcalling

Mentions of: Suicide, Body Fluids (mucus),

Words: 6.7k

A/N: POV kind of switches in some points, but I think it's fine. You know when it's the reader and when it's more of a third-person pov.

"Please take a seat, Miss Wayne," Alfred suggests as he pulls out a chair directly center of the long black cherry wood table. Your father sits at the opposite end of the room at the head of the table, while a smaller black-haired child sits with his back to the kitchen doors. There's one other person who sits directly across the table from where Alfred stands behind the chair meant for you.

"Are you serious? We really have to do this today of all days?" The child whines.

"I thought I told you no technology at the table this morning, Tim," Your father tells the person you're meant to sit across from. Ipad propped up on the table beside his plate, the teenage boy's grayish-blue eyes remain on the screen for a few moments as he shovels forkfuls of eggs into his mouth. In a tacit conversation, they make eye contact for a moment before he flips the cover back over the device and shoves it into the backpack by his feet. "Thank you.”

"You know, Bruce, I really need to get this essay done by this afternoon.” Tim—as you now know—explains.

"Oh? And what's it on?" Always wanting to get more involved in the kids' lives, Bruce attempts some sort of civil conversation other than indulging the begrudging eye-roll Damian throws him from across the table.

"It's on-" Tim begins to explain.

"You're really making us eat breakfast all together at-" Damian interjects.

"-the table like the nice, loving family we are? Pssh, you're lucky everyone's actually here this morning!" Dick cuts Damian off in an attempt to dissuade the boy's frustrations and some of his, perhaps just, points. Walking over to his chair he pulls it out enough to plop down.

"Everyone's coming?! Just for her?!" Damian, as you now know, complains.

"I'm afraid Stephanie has a doctor’s appointment, and Jason is... well," Bruce doesn't finish his explanation as he glances around the table.

"Jason," Dick defends, even if he's still somewhat suspicious of the man's current motives. "You'll meet them later, I'm sure," he tosses toward you as he sits at his chair between Tim and Damian still tying his tie.

"Why are you even here? Don't you have work? It's a Tuesday!" Damian chastizes Dick.

"Well if you must know, I have a few suspects I need to bring in for interviews today. They're extraditing a few people since the uptick last week."

"But I thought that-" A look from Dick makes Damian's thoughts linger in the air for a moment as he cuts himself off. Right. Next subject.

"I'm a detective over in Bludhaven," he explains to you, "Luckily I don't live here anymore, so... hopefully that lessens the overwhelming sense of a constant presence of people," he jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood.

With a nod, you finally reach for your fork. It’d been bad enough that it seems more and more people are continuing to engage you when really, it’s been hell enough to process all the transitions currently taking place in your life. While it’s nice in some sense that you’d have breakfast with your Mom on school days like this, having someone cook for you, let alone push in your chair is… well… strange.

“Hello? He’s talking to you,” the sassy child spits at you, garnering your attention. Eyes flitting from him to the person sitting across from you beside Tim, you offer what you can in an attempted smile. It comes across more as a grimace than anything. The Detective politely calls your name, finally tightening his tie as he finishes dressing.

“It’s okay, I get it. This is all a lot. I asked if you ate breakfast with your—“ he spares a quick glance at your Father before it settles back on you, “—Mom, often before everything?”

Though he smiles and has a jovial and pleasant attitude, you can’t bring yourself to really return the favor. While he’s extending an olive branch of friendship, one you’d usually take up, you’re unable to. “Yeah. Nothing like this though,” you mutter, voice surprising even you with the quiet quality to it.

While the rest of breakfast is filled with questions and trivial conversation, you feel off, with a weary sense of the world. It’s almost like everything is a dream. Once you’ve finished your food, your eyes raise to take in the vase of flowers and candles on either side of it in their ornate silver holders sitting in the middle of the table. “Can I be excused?” Suddenly turned toward your Father, you await his hesitant permission before getting up and heading back to the room they’ve deemed yours just last night.

“She didn’t even look up at me when she answered any of my questions. That’s not good,” Dick points out. There's a hint of concern in his voice as he eyes Bruce.

“She’s probably still grieving her Mom. It only happened yesterday,” Tim proposes with a shrug as he looks up at Dick, who sits to his left.

“Shit,” Dick whispers.

“Do we even know how it happened?” Damian asks from the end of the table, hands clasped in front of himself like a miniature businessman.

“Damian,” Tim whispers with hostility, eyeing him for the inappropriate nature of his comment. Though he’s also curious, as it seems Dick is too, as they all look toward Bruce.

“What? I mean, her Mom dies and suddenly she’s a Wayne? No way,” Damian speaks with confidence.

With a clearing of his throat, Bruce stands. “It’s true. I… hadn’t-“ he begins, though hesitates as this wasn’t really a conversation he’d wanted to have with his teenage son of all people. “It wasn’t planned. It was a one-time thing back when I was a little more reckless with keeping up my image.”

“So during your Party Bruce years? Oh my god,” Dick quietly laughs with incredulity. He’d known about it, sure, that ‘phase’ of his Father… yet he hadn’t anticipated him to be that reckless. The look of guilt upon Bruce’s face is all it takes for them to know it’s true.

“I did the math, I looked into her mother’s history, and… it all adds up. I wouldn’t have taken custody of her yesterday if I wasn’t certain.”

“So she was an accident? Ha!” Damian laughs as if he wasn’t technically an accident on his Father’s behalf as well.

“Hey! I will not hear any jokes or have any information imparted on her with dislike. It wasn’t her fault, and I won’t see anything but acceptance and welcoming from you three, will I?” His stern voice sends chills down their spines to some degree. While Bruce doesn’t often take up a fatherly role in terms other than the awful jokes and rare wistful advice, this is a side none of them have ever gotten quite used to.

“Fine. But I’m not changing my entire life around for her. Jon is still coming over after school,” Damian announces with a click of his tongue and a cross of his arms over his chest.

“Good. Now I know this absolutely will not leave the room but I looked into her cause of death last night and it was a car crash.” With that, Bruce leaves the table.

“Sometimes things are just life, I guess,” Dick thinks aloud, still processing the information.

How cool is it that this room has a window seat? Absolutely awesome! Unfortunately, that’s not something you can fully appreciate as everything has already started to feel numb. They’d explained at the hospital that it’d been a car crash. You know the number of stitches they’d placed, the degree of burns she’d taken as they attempted several grafts to save her life… yet it wasn’t enough. There was nothing they could do. A frown overtakes your expression as a pinch of immense sadness pricks your heart.

“I’ll do it-“ you hear his voice from outside the door, “-I’m sure.” With three knocks and no response, it creaks open. Unbothered to check who it is, you watch as the rain droplets roll down the leaves on the tree outside your window and slowly drip toward the ground below. He clears his throat and shifts on his feet before speaking. “I really hate to do this to you. I know everyone processes things in their own time, but I’ve got to make arrangements on top of work today and so the best thing I can think to do is get you into a routine.” A look in his direction is all it takes; uniform neatly folded in his extended arms, your Father presents it to you with a sympathetic look on his face.

“What about Melville High?” The question leaves your lips, and all he can think is that you’re too innocent for this world. He doesn't even know you, but already the world has taken too much from you.

“It’s… too far, I’m afraid. Gotham Metro Academy is where Damian goes, and it has a lot of better opportunities from what I’ve seen. I’m sure you’ll like it once you get settled in.”

It isn’t the end of the conversation. While you’re barely responding, he imparts as much wisdom and comfort as he’s able, but it goes in one ear and out the other. All too soon you find yourself running your hands over the lapels of your navy uniform’s blazer. A prep school with uniforms was something you’d never imagined in your future—in fact—it’d been far from it! Growing up with enough money to keep you comfortable was fine, but prep school was never in the cards. You and your Mom knew that. Without too much thought to your hair and any accessories or makeup, Alfred is rushing you downstairs and into the awaiting Rolls Royce.

“Had you ever been to Gotham prior, Miss?” Alfred asks from the driver’s seat as you pull away from the infamous Wayne Manor. It looks much more opulent and welcoming in the daylight, yet it still has an intimidating air of aristocracy to you.

“Um… just once, a long time ago.” It hurts your chest to think about; there’d been a weekend you’d gone with your Mom a few years back when she’d wanted to show you all the sights. From the shows to the Financial District, to the historical sights and monuments, it’d been a weekend to remember, truly. If memory serves you right, you even still have a sweater and baseball cap tucked away somewhere from that trip.

Expecting some sort of snarky remark from the child you’ve deduced is Damian, you finally take him in. Sure, everyone’s heard of him. He’s a celebrity for what it’s worth: ‘Bruce Wayne’s Secret Son’ the headlines read. It was national news at the time, his Mom still remaining a mystery. His skin is darker than yours, and while his eyes are a striking green, you can’t deny that he has a resemblance to your Father. Neither can you deny your resemblance, either, really.

“What?” Damian finally bites. With a quiet, automatic ‘sorry’ and a shift of your eyes out the window and away from the kid on his phone, you can’t help but think about it.

Was Bruce Wayne really as much of a playboy as the media made him out to be? Yours and Damian’s mom would surely proffer the confirmation. Yet, having met the legendary man behind the technological empire, you aren’t sure he really seems the type. As much as your mother tried to keep you from boys and men, you’d met more than your fair share of assholes. Womanizers, scumbags, misogynists; no matter the differences in look or personality, there were always a few similarities they’d have in common, usually in their speech, behavior, or beliefs.

Nevertheless, it’s odd that you’ve been able to place the term ‘Father’ in his grasp so easily. Your mother had feigned a forgetful memory oftentimes when you’d ask during your childhood. Only offering the slightest of details and assuring you that he’d left the both of you as a baby. It was only as you grew that she eventually let you know that whatever relationship the two of them had, it wasn’t as serious as one would expect of a mother and father. She’d never named him, exactly, having always told you it wasn’t important. He wasn’t worth searching for, seeking out, begging for some answer you surely didn’t want to hear. Why? Why did you leave us? Why don’t you care about us? It was all a waste of time. That much, you knew. Never, even in your dreams would you imagine it’d be the Bruce Wayne.

Before you know it, the trees and streetlights are turning into buildings and stoplights. While you're nervous about going to a new school, it also provides a bit of excitement at the thought of reinventing yourself and making new friends. Surely with the funding from Wayne Enterprises, it'll have more clubs, activities, and maybe more sports, too. You'd always wanted to try out for sports or even be on the varsity squads if possible. As the car slows along the street, Alfred meets your anxious eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Damian, I expect you'll be there if Miss--" he says your name, "--needs anything. I'm going to park the car and escort you inside, as there happens to be a bit of preliminary paperwork your Father has requested I accompany you to fill out."

Surprisingly, Damian doesn't refute Alfred's sentiment, though as he parks the car, your half-brother hastily exits, headphones still in his ears as he scrolls through his phone. A quiet 'see ya later' is heard before the door slams shut. Soon enough you've filled out the registration forms and are given a schedule and tour. Alfred offers you a courteous nod and a lingering hand on your shoulder before he departs for the day. "I'll be here to pick you up when the school lets out. You can do this, Miss," he assures with a warm smile.

It was somewhat embarrassing that you'd had to interrupt class to join in on eleventh-grade, American Literature, yet upon introduction, it doesn't go past your observation that many of the kids start whispering to one another. While a few people attempt to talk to you, for the most part, you feel overwhelmed with all the information and the way the lesson quickly continues. Trying to catch up and take everything in, it all feels like too much, and the unintentional tendency to disassociate naturally begins to happen. You zone out for most of the classes, the day passing in whirlwinds and sympathetic smiles from the teachers.

When school lets out, you find Alfred exactly where he'd parked this morning in front of the school. Leant against the car with his hands clasped in front of him, you begin making your way down the steps to meet him. Two boys quickly pass you, both laughing as they playfully smack one another's arms and talk in hushed voices. As you approach the car you realize it's Damian and some boy. He has friends? Who would be friends with him? He seemed so rude earlier, you can't help but think. Maybe he's just upset because you came along.

"Who's this?" The boy in the blue jacket asks as he watches you join Alfred.

"Mister Kent," Alfred greets the boy, "I take it you'll be joining us tonight?" When the boy flashes a white smile full of bright teeth up at him with an eager nod, you take it this is a family friend.

"She's... apparently Dad's daughter," Damian reveals, eyes slicing across the space till the intimidating green orbs land on you. "Don't mind her. I planned a few things we could maybe do when we get to the Manor! I just got Mario Kart Ten and it's supposed to have a bunch of new maps and characters!"

Upon Alfred opening the car door, all three of you slide into the vehicle, the boy separating you and Damian in the backseat. "So... your sister, you mean," He laughs. Despite what he'd said about ignoring you, the boy turns his smile your way with an extension of his hand. "I'm Jon! Damian's best friend. I actually go to West Reeves but I got out early so I could catch a ride to your house. You are..?"

Revealing your name, he repeats it with a fondness as you shake his hand. "I don't know that I'd say best," Damian groans with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh hush it! Yes, you would," Jon argues, nudging your half-brother with his body as the two laugh.

"How was your first day, Miss? Did it go alright?" Alfred asks in the rearview mirror before pulling off the school's sidewalk and onto the street.

While this question was unexpected, you can't answer it. Was today good? You're unsure that any sort of sentiment could capture what today was like, truly. With your mother's death, the move, the new school, new people, and the luxury of it all... you feel unable to describe it all in one simple response. Sufficing for a nod, you purse your lips before opting for a quiet "Thanks." If nothing else, you can't deny that this old man has been kind to you since the moment you arrived. It seems he cares, but... isn't that also his job? You're not sure how butlers work, exactly, but surely that detail encompasses part of his job description, you think.

With the car parked in the driveway, you all exit the vehicle and head inside. Alfred asks if anyone wants a snack, however, you shake your head and point upstairs, signaling your destination.

You aren't sure what comes over you, a wave of hurt--sadness-angst, pain... there are endless synonyms for whatever it is that washes over you. It winds up there, lingering in your chest like a weight you hadn't realized was weighing your shoulders down. Maybe it was the attention, the comments, the questions, the energy it took to put on a 'fine' facade, yet it all finally comes crumbling down. With the click of the lock on the door, you make the final steps toward your unfamiliar bed. Letting the backpack fall from your shoulders haphazardly on the carpeted floors, you flop onto the bed face first, chest hitting the plush comforter before the rest of your body follows, the rebound sending your body bouncing slightly. Face screwing up into one of pain, you do your best to hold it back, and you're not quite sure why. No one's around, no one cares, so why won't you let yourself cry? Would that make it all real? Would that mean you're accepting her death? That she's really gone? That you're letting go? Moving on with your life? Thoughts of guilt consume you as you feel as though you should've known, you should've called her, said something, asked her to pick you up that day. Anything would've changed the chain in the course of events, right?

It's then, with the realization of the butterfly effect that a sob wracks your chest and tears stream down your cheeks. Like rapid fire, the sting of hot, salty tears cascade down your skin leaving streaks of mascara in its wake, you're sure. Screaming into your pillow, you can't help but struggle to breathe as you're not sure what to do. How do you move on from this? Where do you begin? What's left in your life, really? What does anything matter if she's gone? Your mom? The only person who's been there through your whole life from the beginning till... well, now. She was your best friend, your confidant, your partner in crime, your... everything. At the end of every day you always knew you'd have her to go back to. Never has the fear of being alone crossed your mind until right this second. Now you understand why so many people commit suicide each year. If their pain feels anything like this, then you understand. All you can think, wish, and mentally pray for is this to stop. For the tears to stop falling and your breath to stop coming in quick bursts of panicked, hyperventilating heaves. Snot runs down your lips and it's hard to see with the blurriness of the tears in your eyes.

After a while, the crying eventually dies down and you lie--wishfully--lifeless on your bed. A small hand towel you'd grabbed from the bathroom is folded under your face where the tears would fall and you've folded it over the few times you'd blown your mucousy snot into it. Silence consumes the room, and you've found yourself simply staring up at the ceiling for what feels like hours. Constantly caught in your thoughts, between crying and being eerily silent, you're unsure if all this was destined to happen. Or maybe it was supposed to come out sooner. Maybe it's only because you've been pushing everything down into a deep dark place that only feels safe for you to express once you're absolutely sure you're alone.

In the midst of a quiet moment, your eyes and throat sore, head throbbing, there's a knock at the door. "Dinner will be served in just a few minutes." It's Alfred. You hope he hadn't heard your crying, though if he had... what can you really do? Nothing... just like everything else in life. You can't do anything.

With a quick splash of cold water on your face, hands combing your hair down, and making sure you look as presentable as possible, you're ready. Aside from the slight red tinge that lingers around your eyes and the dark circles beneath them that are impossible to get rid of, you head downstairs. While you're sat in the same spot as this morning, you're joined by many more people this time. Bruce and Damian both sit at the ends of the table again, Tim sits across from you, though this time he's flanked by the Detective, and another man you don't recognize. He has a white stripe in his hair and a longer face than the others, but it suits him with his angular features. On your right sits a very tall and broad man clad in a business suit and glasses. Past him, sits Jon--who you'd met this afternoon--and across from him there's one more person who makes the table uneven in terms of people. It's a blonde girl, with an enticing sparkle in her eyes and a charming smile from what you can see from the other side of the table.

"This is my good friend, and Jon's dad, Clark Kent," Bruce introduces, gesturing to the man beside you. Said man holds out his big hand and offers a friendly smile.

"Pleasure to meet you," he recites your name and you reciprocate the handshake. It's good to know that not everyone in Damian's association is a complete asshole, you suppose.

"Nice to meet you too," you respond quietly. With the meal served, everyone dives into eating, leaving you a little unsettled. While your mother had come from a very religious upbringing, she hadn't forced it on you. Yet, you'd still find yourself and your mom praying before dinner to whatever God or higher deity might exist. In a way, it was more to give thanks each day for being alive and having food on the table. Sometimes it was a conversation starter when someone would mention what their day entailed, the good things they'd seen, or maybe the bad things they'd ask for protection from. Nevertheless, it's clear that this family operates differently; digging your fork into the fancy black-peppered pork roast, you use your knife to slice a piece off for yourself. Not in the mood to talk at the moment, you simply listen to what everyone's discussing.

With the lack of response they'd gotten from you, Bruce opts for talking to Clark about business and how things have been. Dick and Tim fill in the mysterious man on the little they knew of you. The blonde girl talks with the younger boys at the end of the table at moments but also butts into the other conversation among the young adults diagonally across the table from you. Stabbing multiple string green beans onto your fork, you don't make eye contact with anyone as you simply try to get through this dinner. Maybe then you can go upstairs and try to relax away from everyone.

"-something we shouldn't really talk about too much, but I can guess the funeral will be by the end of next week with all the arrangements I made today," Bruce speaks to Clark.

"Wait, what?" Your voice is quiet, only drawing the attention of those sitting closest to you. Butting into their conversation, you raise your eyes to meet your Father's surprised blue eyes.

"The funeral will be at the end of next week, I'm presuming. It'll take a little while with all the arrangements," he repeats. Though he seems hesitant, he doesn't keep himself from speaking it again. After all, he's someone who stands behind his actions.

"What? Why?" Your fork clanks against the chinaware, lips parted in shock as you dropped it. "You made the arrangements without me?"

"Yes. It was important that you go to school and it was all right there in the will." Forkful of mashed potatoes lingering in the air as his blue eyes bore into yours, you find your breath beginning to rise and fall at a faster rate.

Of course, none of them know your buttons and what it looks like once they've been pressed, but if your mother was here right now, she'd know. With a screech of the chair being pushed back hastily and a quiet slam of your palms on the table to stand, you're livid. "Why would you do that? How could you do that?!" Hands shaking, you begin to gesticulate, any former semblance of masked placation now fallen. All eyes are transfixed on your figure. "She's my mother! Mine! You don't even know her- I do! I know what she would've wanted, and this isn't it. What, just because your name was on my birth certificate that means you get to take over my life? You, who doesn't even know anything about me, and yet you act like we're best friends! Your children call you 'Bruce' and you have no problem with it! You don't get to just come into my life and fuck everything up! You sleep with her once, what? Sixteen years ago and now you come in and take everything?" A wry laugh leaves your lips, "Well, more for you, I guess! Did you ever stop to think that there's a reason I had no idea who you were? Let alone, why she never told me? She never once asked for your money or your help, and now I'm just here. All my stuff? Gone. All my friends and family? Gone, a-"

"-We can go get your-" The Detective begins.

"-Oh, shut up! You really think anyone wants to hear what you have to say? You're adopted, you're not even related to me! You don't know me. None of you do! The only good thing about this is I don't have to put up with being interrogated by the BPD every goddamn time I walk down the halls of school. But I'd at least take that over never seeing my friends again!"

"-What do you mean?" He follows up, commenting over you. Everyone else looks around the table silently, taken aback by what they're witnessing.

"You want to 'Bring Justice to Bludhaven', I guess, when everyone already knows what happened to Perdy Chapman! Everyone except the BPD, I guess!"

"How dare you?! You can't speak to my brother like that, you-"

"Finally! The only person I'm actually related to here. My half-brother, the mysterious 'Wayne Boy' who doesn't have a mom! You have no fucking empathy for me, you've been giving me shit all day! And yet you're the only person I would've expected to actually give a damn! So sit your ass down, pendejo twerp!"

Without asking for permission you storm out of the dining room and through the living room toward the staircase.

"I'm guessing you're done with your dinner?"

The voice stops you in your tracks, hand on the banister, you let out a loud sigh, shoulders falling before you try to maintain a jovial demeanor when turning to him. "I don't need you to do anything for me, Alfred. I think it's fucking ridiculous to have a servant when it's the twenty-first century, for crying out loud!"

"It's my job. I assure you he pays me, if that makes it any better," Alfred speaks in a calm tone, unfazed by your words or behavior.

"Great! Well, I still don't need you doing things for me that I can do myself. Thank you, though," while the words come out through tense, grit-together teeth, you turn and head upstairs. It doesn't take long to get to your backpack, slinging it over your shoulders. Luckily, this was the one thing you knew you could do with the advantages of not only your room but a backyard. Opening the window, you climb out onto the tree branch a few feet away.

Soon enough, you're on solid ground, out of the boundaries and gate of Wayne Manor. With a heaving chest and shaky hands, you speedwalk down the road toward where you know the bridge will be heading into Bludhaven from the transfer point on the Eastern Seaboard. This time for whatever reason, you can't bring yourself to cry. Maybe all the tears had already flooded from your body this evening, but nothing emanates from your tear ducts. Eyeing the blood that's already starting to dry on your palms from the splinters and the last little drop you'd had to take from the tree, you scraped your palm.

It'd been silent upon your departure from the dining room. Bruce insisted that everyone return to eating, that everything was fine, and that this wasn't unexpected. While things returned normal for the most part, Jason excused himself with a look toward his father. It wasn't until an alarm rang from Bruce's phone that he groaned and pulled it out only to find the surveillance outside capturing your figure leaving the premises. Announcing what the 'emergency' was, at everyone's persistence, Jon ran out of the room before Bruce could elect Clark to go check where you were headed.

It's a lone road, cypress trees lining it and gravel-filled sides. With it only being garnered by private property of the elite, and no real intersections for miles, no cars pass in either direction. As the sound of a faraway motorcycle approaches, you don't let it deter you. It'll be at least an hour or more before any of them realize you've left the property. They all think you're just upstairs crying to yourself, most likely. Rage still swirls in your gut, however, it's drained somewhat, being replaced by the determination to get home. A billionaire, his family, servants, and even a few splinters won't stop you. It doesn't strike you as odd that the sound of the nearing motorcycle slows; after all, not many people hitchhike on this road, you're guessing, and with the speed limit being higher in this area.

Jon had been faster, intrigued for some reason--his justification upon later questioning--to find out where you were going. Clark trails behind him, neither of them bothering to change clothes as they fly above the closest road, trailing you from a distance silently. It's only when they spot the motorcyclist approaching you that they hold their position.

"Where do you think you're going?" The voice is unfamiliar. While being catcalled isn't a stranger to you, it's still annoying that it'll happen in the middle of fucking nowhere. Ignoring the motorcycle that now stalls to your left, you continue walking with determination, eyes ahead and fists wrapped around each strap of your backpack upon your stiff shoulders. "Really? You're gonna ignore me and play it that way? Get on the motorcycle," the man calls your nickname, which elicits a reaction from you.

Eyes widening and lips parting, and eyebrows shooting upward, you finally look at the man. You don't remember his name, but he'd been sitting at the table across from you between Tim and that Detective. Expression immediately turning into one of anger, your jaw setting, you feel reinspired to make your way to Bludhaven. "I'm not going back! I can't," you argue, "plus I don't even know you. Why would I go with you?!"

A chuckle leaves his lips and you hear the shifting of plastic before the motorcycle revs in a way that elicits an automatic jump from your body. The motorcycle speeds a few feet down the road before it does a loop and skirts into a stopped position just a few feet in front of you. Legs on either side of the vehicle, the man flicks the visor of his helmet back up and reaches into the back compartment, producing another. Before you have time to react, he throws the helmet your way. Hands instinctively reach out to catch it instead of letting yourself get hit with the speed of it. You wince; it pushes the splinters further into your palm. You come to a standstill a few feet away from him as you lift the helmet slowly only to see the blood starting to pool around them again.

"I'm Jason," he reveals, "I don't know where you plan to go, running away like this, but you don't think the old man will notice you're gone sooner than later? What's your plan then?"

Irritation and a desperate anger linger in your chest as your eyes finally raise to meet his. "Well, Jason, it's none of your business! Regardless, it doesn't matter. You can't stop me." Approaching him, you're about to shove the helmet in his hands when he raises one of his own, palm facing you.

"Truce? Look, I know you don't know me, but I was like you. I grew up in Crime Alley and had to steal tires for a living. I tried to steal the-" he stops himself, another chuckle escaping his lips, "the old man's, and that's how we met. I get it... it's not easy, and, no one expects you to just go along with everything, alright? If you're thinking about going home, well, that'll take what-? Hours? You really want to walk for hours to... where are you from, again? Bludhaven? What part?"

"Canaveron District, yeah," you respond gruffly, some of the tension leaving your shoulders.

"You won't get there for another three hours walking, at best. If you just want to get your things, well, I can take you there. But we'd have to get everyone else-"

"No! no, I don't want-"

"-If you let me finish," he warns, "I was going to say get the others to help tomorrow or this weekend, we can get the rest. Alright? Just essentials, and I bring you right back here. Got it?" His eyes search yours for a moment before he adds, "That's the best I can do for you, kid. Otherwise, I've gotta drag you back to the Manor kicking and screaming, which I really don't want to do."

"He sent you?" You weren't too surprised, only that if anyone was coming, you figured it would've been Bruce, himself. It's only when Jason notices you looking around and contemplating your decision that he cocks his head toward the Manor, signaling the Kents to leave. He's got this.

"No. I came, because... unlike those other dicks, I actually know what it's like to come from, well, somewhere that's not the greatest," he admits, a look of sympathy and understanding in his eyes.

"And this isn't some scam? You just tell me this, get me on the bike, and then take me back to the White House?" This elicits a laugh from the man, and he runs a gloved hand through his black and white hair.

"Look, I don't know how much they've mentioned about me, but... let's just say I'm not exactly in Bruce's good favor if you know what I mean." Reading the look on your face, he expands. "I'm not exactly the goody-two-shoes of the family. If you want your stuff, I'll take you, but only because I know he wouldn't do that."

"Why?" Standing in silence, the two of you search one another's eyes for any sense of understanding. It's tacit, the question that you both know you were really asking, yet he doesn't make you voice it: why would you do this for me?

"Because I know what it's like to have everything taken from you." A sigh leaves his lips, and you can tell simply from his stance and demeanor that this man has been through much more than he's letting on. "If you wanna do this, we should get going. I can't be out too late tonight. You coming? Or should I call the old man and let him know what your plan is?" With a raised brow and eyes flicking toward the helmet in your hands and back to your eyes, he awaits an answer.

"I'm coming." Sliding the helmet over your head, you approach the vehicle. "Just... don't tell him, please! At least don't tell him for another... fifteen minutes?" The request elicits a questioning look before a smirk replaces it.

"Deal. Hang on," he requests. Shifting the bike to stand upright, he leans closer and reaches under your chin to clip a strap in place you hadn't noticed. He tightens it, checks with you, and then gets onto the bike. "You ever ridden a motorcycle?"

With a thick swallow, your eyes shift from his to the bike. Sliding over the seat, you're unsure where to place your feet, but Jason instructs you, making sure you're comfortable before you slide your arms around his waist and brace for takeoff. Visor flicked down and everything in place, he revs the motorcycle before speeding down the road.

Beneath the helmet, the ends of your hair tickle your arm as it whips through the air. Cool breeze wooshes past your body, arms able to feel the chill through the blazer, your legs gaining goosebumps through the exhilarating experience. Cypress trees turn into willows, which become more and more sparse as gates and brick walls slowly fade with the elitist properties into cemeteries and then into more forest before turning more industrial. As different plants and factories appear, so do the cars. Jason weaves in and out of traffic as he maneuvers his way down the highway and onto the bridge that winds around Gotham and finally goes into Bludhaven. The lights and sights passing this fast is intimidating at the thought of crashing, however, it's thrilling in a way you've also never experienced. Skyscrapers line the island, lights, signs, and monuments only add a sort of fascination and exuberant liveliness to it. As the Wayne Enterprises sign passes, you finally feel comfortable enough to remove one hand from Jason's side for a moment, long enough to flash a quick middle finger at the sign before fearfully grabbing onto his jacket again.

With a laugh and shake of his head, he removes a hand from the handlebar to flip a bird alongside her, eliciting what he thinks is a laugh. Nevertheless, he can feel the fear in her grip so he returns his hand to the handlebars and makes sure to keep his focus on the road. It's not likely they'd crash, not unless someone was out for him and knows his bike, and his civilian identity. Not that he goes too far out of his way to hide it, but it's not impossible. He's confident in his abilities, but considering they don't know each other the best, he doesn't do anything to further scare her.

As he draws nearer to the Canaveron District, he slows down enough for her to give him directions. Parking the bike outside the apartment complex she's identified, Jason helps her off the bike and stashes the helmets in the back. "Lead the way, little lady," he encourages.

~~~~~~

forever taglist: @ohdamnadam , @safarigirlsp , @jynzandtonic , @moonlightsolo

hog taglist: @luvly-writer , @clairese1980

#hog #my writing #bruce wayne x daughter!reader #batfam x sibling!reader #dcu reader insert #tw: catcalling #tw: misandry #tw: blood #tw: injuries #tw: yelling #tw: negativity #tw: disassociation #tw: depression #tw: suicidal thoughts #tw: numbness #tw: outburst #tw: crying #tw: cursing #tw: anti-police themes #tw: existentialism #tw: death #heiress of gotham series #heiress of gotham

[killemwithkawaii]

Read Before Interacting 💬❌

🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪

DNI:

-Minors and ageless blogs

-Antis

-Anti-yandere and anti-Sallarry (Not liking these is fine, just block the tag)

Please Note:

~This is an 18+ blog that contains explicit sexual, violent and generally disturbing/triggering content. These are works of fiction and are for entertainment only. Remember: always keep it safe, sane and consensual IRL!

~’18+’ means I DO NOT want minors interacting with my blog, NO EXCEPTIONS!! Minors are blocked on sight, and ageless blogs who try to follow this account will be softblocked. 

Minors: You interacting with this account is a violation of my consent. You are welcome to follow me and view my SFW/PG-13 art on my instagram and my twitter. 

~Please credit and link me to to use or repost my work. Under that condition, feel free to use my art as PFPs, in edits, etc.

🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪

[see under the cut for trigger warning tags]

~All NSFW posts are tagged as ‘#sorry steve’, put under the appropriate community labels (as of October 2022), and are tagged with the following citrus scale (as of March 2022):

Lime- implied or mild ns/fw

Lemon- explicit ns/fw

Grapefruit- kink-related topics, often explicitly NSFW

Trigger Warning Tag List:

(All begin with ‘tw’. Please feel free to ask me to tag anything not on the list, and let me know if ever miss a tag on a post!)

-Abuse

-Animal death 

-Blood

-Body horror

-Bondage

-Brainwashing

-Cannibalism

-CNC (Consensual Non Consent)

-Corpse

-Death (including homicide, suicide, accidents, natural death, etc)

-Degradation 

-Disembowelment

-Dismemberment

-Disordered eating

-Drug use (including tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, sedatives, psychedelics and hard drugs, implied or explicitly used)

-Dubcon

-Eye trauma

-Feet

-Gaslighting

-Impalement

-Injury (major and minor)

-Kidnapping

-Mental illness

-Necrophilia

-Needles

-Organs

-Police violence

-Religious sacrilege

-Self-harm

-Somnophilia

-Stalking

-Suicide

-Surgery (major and minor)

-Teratophilia

-Torture (Physical, emotional and mental)

-Unreality (feeling you are unreal or doubting the truth of reality, trouble with memories, mentions of multiple realities or universes, etc.)

-Unsanitary (bodily fluids, unwashed hands, dirty environments and generally not-clean things… just anything that might be considered kind of gross)

-Violence

-Vomit

-Weapon (including knives, guns, improvised weapons, etc.)

-Yandere (Generally unhealthy behavior toward a love-interest. These posts may contain dubcon and other disturbing themes)

Personal Tags:

-K.E.W.K. speaks (general blog-related announcements)

-K.E.W.K. answers (asks)

-K.E.W.K. draws (general art tag)

-K.E.W.K. does commissions (commissioned art tag)

-K.E.W.K. writes (fic tag)

-K.E.W.K. selfships (general selfshipping tag)

-K.E.W.K. overshares (vent posts, personal posts having to do with mental illness and treatment, etc.)

🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪💕🍓🔪

Thanks for reading! 💕

#k.e.w.k. speaks #read before interacting #revamping my pages and it feels so good~ UwU

[miharuhebinata]

monthly game tag time!

november

1. Scriptic: Crime Stories - Dead Man's Phone: Redman

while the investigation aspect of this game was pretty fun, i think the story did not handle its themes very well at all, but maybe that's just because i got the bad ending and was too bummed out to try for the good ending. also the freemium "wait [x] amount of time before you can continue" aspect would have completely ruined the experience for me if i hadn't been able to play the netflix app version, so there's also that. just a very meh experience overall.

*spoiler warning* if you want to play this one for yourself, heavy tw for anti-Black racism & police brutality.

2. Doors: Awakening

fun little mobile puzzle game. nice to play in your downtime

3. Doors: Origins

same as above lol

december

1. Little Nightmares

i watched an lp of this a long time ago, but only now got around to playing it myself. the perspective fucked me over a few times and the load times were extremely annoying, but other than that, it's a good game. although... idk if it's just because i already knew what happens, but it felt very "baby's first horror game"-esque to me. which isn't a bad thing, just that it didn't creep me out nearly as much as maybe the game wanted to. idk. i'm not saying this to be mean or anything, i still really liked the game and the world/lore is very fascinating to me! just my opinion lol

2. Very Little Nightmares

now this game, i really really enjoyed! idk if it was the difference in artstyle, the less frustrating change in perspective while still keeping to the same general tone as the first game, or what, but i definitely liked this game a lot more than the first one. again, the artstyle was very much up my alley, the music was great, and the puzzles were just a bit trickier to the point that i even struggled with a few of them. plus i loved finding all the collectibles, which was not the case in the first game lol. of course, this one being a mobile game, the movement could be frustrating at times, especially having to double tap to run, but ultimately, it was nothing that made the game unplayable. overall a great game that i definitely recommend, especially if you're a fan of the little nightmares series :)

started but not finished yet:

Echo - started in november. played through tj, carl, & part of jenna's routes in december. hoping to finish in january, but we'll see 😅

#scriptic: crime stories #dead man's phone: redman #doors: awakening #doors: origins #little nightmares #very little nightmares #echo #echo vn #and that wraps up 2023! at some point i'll go over everything i played this year and put together a top 5(+?) list #🎮 tag #monthly game tag #send tweet

[archersartcorner]

‼️If you are going to follow me I think it’s in your best interest you read this folks!! 😭😭😭‼️

If you like my art *youtuber voice* feel free to SMASH that motherfuckin reblog button GAMERS!!!!!

Gonna just set up a new pinned post here! It’s basically my old one but under a read more so it’s neater lol

- I’m pro-fiction, pro-kink, anti-harassment, etc etc. I enjoy messy queer fiction, and I’ve been encouraged by my therapists that fiction is a good, safe, and healthy outlet so long as you know the difference between fiction and reality! If you’re the type to police fictional content or send harassment to others for the fiction they enjoy, we’re probably not going to get along, and it’s probably best that you move on.

- I’d establish a further DNI here but lbr, bigots and assholes like them don’t follow DNIs. Racists aren’t gonna see “DNI: racists” and think oh darn me plans have been foiled!!!1!1!1!!1!1!1 So if you interact with me and I just don’t like what you’re serving, you’re just gonna get hard blocked. This includes right wingers, “pro-lifers,” r4dfems - basically if you’re an asshole you’re gonna get blocked lol

- The BYF/DNI stuff outta the way, I’ll occasionally post potentially triggering content! Nothing NSFW, but I like to explore heavy themes in fiction. I try to warn appropriately, but if there’s ever a tag you’d like me to add, feel free to shoot me a message! Usually my tw tags go “tw: (x)” or just “tw (x)” (I rly need to pick one lol) so I’ll tag according to that!

- Overall, as long as you’re kind & respectful, to me and others, we shouldn’t have a problem. And I hope you enjoy my work! :D

#not art

[fe4r5]

guidelines .

[  001  ]  : this blog will contain, but is not limited to, themes such as violence, murder, death, mental illness (respectfully). i will tag all triggers with the universal ‘trigger tw’. i will not write smut under any circumstances and will always prefer to fade to black.

[  002  ]  :  do not interact with me, my blog, my posts, or my muse if you’re racist, homophobic, transphobic (including terfs, exclusionists, transmeds), anti-semetic, xenophobic/islamaphobic, ableist, misogynist, pro-police. on the subject, please do not interact if your muse is a cop. i’m incredibly uncomfortable writing with law enforcement in general, and I’m not sure there will be a need for exceptions. do not interact if under the age of twenty or if we’re not mutuals. no exceptions.

please let me know if i'm writing with someone who is not a good person or who violates any of those above.

my main priority is keeping my writing partners comfortable and safe.

[  003  ]  :  i’m going to be very selective in terms of who i follow and choose to write with. i plan to keep my following list relatively according to who i’m writing with, as well. it’s no hard feelings, but if i don’t see our muses interacting or if i don’t see us writing together, i will not follow/follow back.

[  004  ]  :  i will not write against any face or character that is racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. basically, if they fall on my do not interact section, then i will not interact with them. i will also not write with faceclaims of anyone deceased. i will never write anything related to sexual assault, dubcon, noncon, incest, etc. do not follow if you write any of those things.

[  005  ]  :  i’m currently using the beta editor and would prefer if all my writing partners used it, as well, just to keep things easier and running seamlessly. please cut your posts, don’t use super small text, and try to refrain from using gifs, unless we’ve discussed it prior. as of 4/16/23, this blog is iconless.

[  006  ]  :  i don't currently have any significant triggers, but please let me know if there's anything i can tag for you.

[  007  ]  :  dash icon, pinned post, and promo graphic were made by lyonkept.

[  008  ]  :  hi, i’m ghoul! i’m twenty5, use he/they pronouns, and reside in the eastern time zone. i enjoy watching and rewatching series and films, playing video games, watching cute videos of bats, drinking lavender vanilla lattes, and spending time with my family which includes my partner and our three fur babies.

[vvh0adie]

k-industry rant cuz im tired of seeing the same shit over again

TW: political themes

i know i'd feel some type of way if i used to be signed to the same record label as jermaine and other prolific rappers just for them not to fuck wit me like dat.

jermaine would prolly rather talk to the police that raided his home that time than jay park sorry ass.

sometimes its easier to reason wit a institution rather than a singular hatin' ass bigot. the man been full of hate since day one EVEN FOR HIS OWN FORMER BOY GROUP!!!

its insulting to think that jay park thought he could invite hobi as some way to show that he's on the same level.

and even more so to think that a black man won't see that he's leveraging hobi's success to prolly try and get jermaine's attention.

jay park has exploited black folks enough, i wish he'd make his outdated alternative r&b and shut tf up. he literally peaked in 2016.

like its okay that you didn't follow sza, tinashe, bryson tiller, 6lack ect. into 2023. if he shuts tf up, we will keep listening to his nostalgic ass music like we do with chris brown stupid ass.

why is it that bts have to be bigger people and work with these fools just so the rest of the krap/r&b industry doesn't think they're uppity?

i felt the same way about crush cuz i refuse to believe that bts genuinely want to actually work with these ppl. (granted taeyang but he hasn't done anything inflammatory since i was little)

it just feels like a contradiction to work with respected black artist and then turn around and work with a bigot who actively and openly shows anti-blackness.

its a double edged sword.

#preacha plym #that man got me so heated cuz why would your be rude and disrespect hobi like that #he didnt have to come do that shit but he did to show hes a better person and to get his money up

[thelifeoflorna]

~25/5/2022~ Very much feeling as though I'm running on empty. Working from home in the morning was doable I found while staying in my pyjamas! Decided to still attend team catch up meeting, despite feeling snowed under with work, because I thought it was probably all the more reason to! Shortly after, I ate some strawberries, which later may have turned out to be a bad move as it seems they've started to become an MCAS trigger :/ Got the bus to Crawley - had hoped for a bit of downtime on the journey, but that definitely wasn't the case - (TW) someone put a message on a group chat I'm a part of saying they needed 'immediate help' due to being at risk to self and others, which I felt couldn't be ignored. So responded with the 'usual things' - all the time thinking that this wasn't really an appropriate place for this person to be attempting to reach out for this type of support :( - alerted the group facilitators and also requested that (once things had calmed down with the person in question) they reiterate to them the ground rules/boundaries of the group chat and advise them on the best way to seek the right sort of help in future - they agreed, though it was all very stressful - sometimes I feel like I can't escape from work-related stuff :/ (ETW). When I got to Crawley, briefly looked around for a suitable frame for the piece of art work we'd done for police officer - couldn't find one the right size, so got some blue tack instead to pin it to the mount I already had for it. They stomach issues and PoTS flare showed up - so mad dash to the toilet, recognising this was really bad timing - delayered a fair bit in the toilet, took anti-sickness meds, and thankfully, this seemed to avert a complete crisis/episode... Met ISVA and headed over the ~ MEETING WITH POLICE OFFICER ~ who was in charge of my case. (TW - some mention of childhood s*xual abuse themes) Have definitely been in way more police stations this week than I've been to in my entire life and would ever want to! This one was pretty dindgy, but got to see lovely police officer for the final. Because I was so drained and exhausted, didn't feel like I was fully taking it in at the time (continued..) https://www.instagram.com/p/CeA06CoOAKKBxeVPGAlaTy2QRsMS0DVrOalXgw0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[zzzennin]

Invisible

TW: dub-con, domestic violence, depression, mention of anti-depressants.

____________________________________________

Hi! This is part of the frozen hearts collab hosted by @kingkatsuki and @bakuroo-writings, thank you for allowing me to be a part of this group suffering!

This fic has some really dark themes, such as domestic violence and toxic abusive relationships, so please don't read if this can somehow trigger you. And for all the victims, you don't deserve this, you gonna be alright, you deserve love.

I chose to do this theme cause I've noticed that sometimes male domestic violence victims are invisible, we don't often discuss this topic and when they share their experience is minimized or motive of laughter and this is not fair. Help make victims, love them show them that they deserve love and safety too 💜

__________________________

Bokuto was big in every sense, tall, broad, his body sculpted by the many years of hard work in his job, his dream job. A professional volleyball player. His big and callused hands showed the reflection of his effort.

His personality was also very big, he was always the loudest in the room, his presence was never unnoticed, loud laugh, big hand gestures his voice also tended to be really loud but he was always working on speaking a little lower. He was always the sun in the room, radiant, bright.

But that was before.

Before he needed the little pills to make his brain remember how it was to feel happy, to remind him of not overworking his body in the gym in order to feel physical pain just so he could feel something.

If was possible he would tell you the exact day that he broke, his heart was ripped out of his chest. It was the day he called the cops and she was arrested. He didn't want to do that, but for a split second, all that went to his head was how she was going to kill him. He was scared.

The guilt that filled his chest after all the police procedures were unimaginable, he never knew that that kind of sad, overwhelming negativity even existed as he signed the restringing order. She was no longer allowed to get near him, Akaashi had to go to the apartment get his stuff out there. And for the first time he had a bad taste in being a public person, the comments after the first gossip magazine talked about the case and post pictures of his injuries that someone in the station must have leaked. He didn't have the energy to fight back and share what actually happened.

After reading all comments and how people doubted his story, how could such a big man get hit by a small woman? He could defend himself if he really wanted to, what did he do in the first place for such a small woman to go at him like this, he must have done something awful to her. The rape accusations usually followed the speculations.

Bokuto wanted to scream, no, he didn't do anything wrong he would never hurt her, any woman, or any other person as far as he was concerned he wasn't a violent person, the thought of hitting or even raping someone made his stomach sick, is this the perception people had of him? Everyone deep down thought he was a monster? He started to self-doubt, maybe he did something to provoke her, made her feel scared of him for some reason and she only reacted.

He tried to remember that night, why the fight even started? He got until later on the gym, Atsumu was telling the guys about some crazy story about his trip to Brazil with Hinata on the off-season. They went out to drink, Bokuto went home she didn't like it when he went out to drink with the guys. But she was mad anyway, he was late.

She was yelling at the second he was in the living room, she was in the kitchen, she was supposed to make dinner tonight but the chicken was uncooked on the sink, knife on her hand. She hit him before so he was scared of the knife on her hand, she was too hot-headed and maybe could do some damage if she decided to go for him as she later did which prompted him to call the police from inside the bathroom. He had to remember, every night while he laid awake he remembered.

He was there when his relationship died in his arms and he was paralyzed by it, time slowed down because he knew, nothing would ever be the same.

_____________________________________________________________________

Numbers and websites for women & men:

US: The National Domestic Violence Hotline [phone] [SAFE])

UK: Women’s Aid (0808 2000 247)

Australia: 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732)

Worldwide: International Directory of Domestic Violence (a global list of helplines & crisis centers)

Websites for men:

US & Canada: The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women

UK: ManKind Initiative

Australia: One in Three Campaign

Worldwide: International Directory of Domestic Violence (a global list of helplines & crisis centers)

Resources

http://www.wcsap.org/how-often-does-it-happen

http://www.be-free.info/enparents/physicalAbuse.htm

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/abuse.html

http://www.stopitnow.org/warning_signs_csa_definition

http://age-of-consent.findthedata.org/

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

#frozen hearts collab #anime #haikyuu #bokuto #bokuto kotaro #bokuto agnst #some agnst #bokutoxreader #bokuto i love you i swear

[hlshai]

Askblog/tws/rules

(updated 2021-02-21)

Hello everyone, I’m pleased to announce that I’m making an askblog as a companion piece to my Silent Hill AU HLVRAI fanfiction! This is a separate version of my AU where the audience can get a different ending. I’ll have it lag behind the main fic a bit to avoid spoilers. 

trigger warnings:

(potential) major character death

unreality (general/videogame)

gaslighting (characters and audience. Silent Hill will lie to you.)

allusions to/instances of various types of abuse (child, domestic, medical)

body horror

blood/gore/violence 

firearms/blunt weapons/knives/etc

self-mutilation

psychological horror

dogs/dog-ish entities

insect/insect-ish entities

child/child-like entities

harm to animals

harm to children

dolls

needles/medical horror

drugs/cigarettes/alcohol

police/law enforcement

unsanitary (general)

emetophobia

scopophobia (eye contact)

panic attacks

discussion of/allusion to suicide

death/corpses

mature/disturbing themes (confinement, paranoia, guilt, isolation, etc)

moving pictures/.gifs (no intentional rapid flashing, but be aware)

references to Silent Hill lore, including the occult/The Order (as easter eggs)

NO SEXUAL VIOLENCE. EVER.

etc (will add as needed)

Everything will be tagged accordingly. Please look through this list and make sure that you have any of your triggers blocked. Only unblock posts if you’re sure you’re in the headspace to handle them. 

  rules:

No nsfw asks/submissions. Flirting is tolerated, but no derailing.

Please don’t use/repost art without both permission and credit.

No magic anons

Please let me know if you need something added to the tw list.

Please tag triggers when reblogging from me (be nice to your followers!)

standard DNI applies (transphobes/terfs, anti-lgbta, racism, sexism, anti-Semites, other bigots etc)

(new!) all anons must have an anon tag (example: pink anon, bird anon, etc) if they are participating in the story. anon tags aren’t necessary for speaking OOC to me (the mod, EC).

etc (will add as needed)

  I reserve the right to not answer any ask for any reason.

  If you don’t use anon, certain characters might call you by name or reference things you’ve said on your blog. This is a very fourth wall breaking experience. Be aware that your actions may have consequences. 

The games this blog are based on are rated M. This blog is intended for mature audiences. Viewers, please use discretion. 

That makes it sound a bit worse than it is, but I’m covering my bases. ✌

reblogs > likes! It helps me reach a wider audience <3

I hope you all have fun!

LINK TO PARENT FANFICTION: [x]

READ BLOG FROM THE BEGINNING: [x] PICK AN INDIVIDUAL SESSION TO READ: [x]

JOIN OUR DISCORD: [x]

CAST: [x] BESTIARY: [x]

#hlvrai #half life vr but the ai is sentient #half life vr but the ai is self aware #silent hill #askblog #silent hill au #hlvrai gordon #hlvrai benrey #hlvrai bubby #hlvrai coomer #hlvrai tommy #blog housekeeping

[rpbetter]

Hey there, check out this pinned post first!

Thanks for visiting Roleplay Better, where I believe that you can fucking do better! That kind of language, however, is why it is important for you to read this post before proceeding.

This blog and its posts are meant for an adult RPing audience; be over legal, adult age in the USA, 18+. Do not interact by submitting, asking, reblogging, commenting, or liking unless you are over eighteen years of age. By interacting with RPB or me, Vespertine, you are assumed to be following this rule. If you are breaking this rule, you will be blocked.

I have that rule because this blog can/will/does address topics inappropriate for a younger audience. Those can include, but are not limited to:

not safe for work - violence, injury, sexual language, smut, substance use

“dark topics” and themes like violence, unhealthy relationships, mental illness, trauma, graphic injury, dubious consent, substance use, and so forth addressed realistically

foul, sexual, and otherwise “Adult” language

 unpopular opinions and approaches about writing, RP, fandoms

“negativity” since literally anything can be, and my whole point here isn’t about holding back; it is likely that, at some point, in some post or another, a shoe will fit you-you need to be mature enough to handle that without taking it as a personal attack on you

images and links that may contain things inappropriate for a younger audience

this blog is founded upon the idea that fiction has reflections in reality, but that fiction does not utterly equate to reality. You should write with realism, your characters should be people in their own right, and you should absolutely be addressing many popular topics responsibly, which is to say realistically. I do not support or otherwise condone purity culture, so while realism is a big deal here, fiction = reality arguments are a no

seriously, you have no idea how fucking salty I am! I try to be fair, reasonable, and mellow with everyone, but it can and does come out.

This blog tags for common, major triggers, but it is not for those easily triggered or particularly sensitive. By proceeding, you take responsibility for yourself...like a mature adult. I expect you to utilize blacklist, unfollow, and block. Tag format is simple, it is literally just the word in most cases, with “cw” and “tw” added to particularly common things. Example, a post containing a breakdown of forms of dubcon will be tagged #dubcon #dubious consent. If that was specifically of a sexual nature, since tumblr is unfriendly to using Not Safe For Work now, I will be using #notsafe for sexual topics. In the event that this needs to change, it will be posted about, the previous tag left intact, so that you may update your blacklist.

You are always welcome to send me an ask or private message requesting a particular trigger be tagged for you. I try to check blogs I see following, especially if I follow back, so that I can tag what you require. However, I’m a person, I’m an ND, ill, busy person though, I do make mistakes!

If you find yourself desirous of telling me to tag in a hateful way, don’t. You will not be responded to with an apology and kindness. Do not be rude, it’s uncalled for when informing someone of a problem or making a request.

I will run the blog largely on a queue, and will not be following many people back. This is not personal! I just like to try to provide content at many different times, have a life elsewhere, and I am so happy that you love your fandom, but it might not be something I’ve enough interest in to have on my dash.

Don’t tumblr message me. Use the inbox or submit.

Due to recent events, I am changing this rule. It’s hard for me to receive messages unexpectedly, and I hate to imply that I’ll be able to get to these quicker because it isn’t the truth. Quicker, better responses come from the inbox. However, there have been too many incidents lately in which people needed to speak privately and had to make that a request. If you’re having a problem and need to vent, request sensitive advice, etc.? It’s alright, go ahead and drop me a PM, y’all. I’ll get back to you as soon as I am able. Please, do not be angry with me if I respond to inbox things or my queue is running! You’re important to me, I just might not have the requisite social cognition and energy you deserve at that time.

Aggressive inbox messages will be responded to in kind. I don’t care if you are on anon or not, if you haven’t an ounce of polite communication skills, I won’t have them either. This is not a “we don’t publish anon hate” blog.

I highly encourage asks and submissions on any and all RP topics, and it’s perfectly alright to be salty as fuck in them, you can totally vent here, but don’t take out your frustration on me or be demanding of me. I am always happy to help with information, advice, or just a response to your venting-it’s important to know someone is listening. However, it may take me a few days to a week to get to you, be patient. 

If you are going to vent, leave out usernames. This isn’t a callout or burnbook blog. It’s fine to state characters and fandoms, but if this becomes a problem, it’ll have to change. I don’t want this becoming a salt blog for one or two fandoms I very likely can’t even stand. Practice the fine art of alluding to things, its good experience for your writing! Besides, RPC problems are RPC problems, I promise. It might feel like it’s just your fandom, but there is something relatable in all corners.

I will not overly police comments. Keep the slurs and shit out of it, though. If there is an issue going on pertaining to a serious instance of hate speech, or behavior I, personally, deem as too inappropriate and/or immature to be taking place on my post, I will step in. Otherwise, I expect everyone to be adults in the comments and reblogs too. If you want to argue with each other, that’s your business. If you want to argue with me, I’m not sorry in advance.

Addition to the above: this is not a blog in which it will be tolerated that commentators or those submitting with the URLS are targeted for callouts, shaming, or other instances of bullying. No, I cannot make those people stop bothering you by blocking them, but the least I can do is address that by shutting down their access to this blog and it’s posts by blocking on the URLs I have for them. And I will. Fuck that “we can’t be responsible for” shit. It’s my blog, it’s my content I’m putting out there, I’m not going to just ignore shit like what went down over on COAR, thanks. Not. Cool.

This is definitely not a place for:

people who think giving muses labels, including top/bottom “dynamics,” is a good substitute for character traits, personality, and development

those with no reading comprehension skills

folks dependent upon aesthetics and aesthetics-based purple prose as filler for actual writing

anti-original character/just wants to fuck a FC or canon character club, get the fuck out immediately

y’all who see writing as an obstacle to getting down to action, be that smut, drama, or fight scenes...it’s literally a writing hobby

politics, any manner of phobe or ism, violent/non-inclusive feminists, purity/rpc/fandom/content police of any manner, and exactly any manner of racism, sexism, or religious intolerance - I give not a shit if it’s popular to hate the straights, for example, I neither believe in nor tolerate reactionary classifying of any group as blanket-statement evil

people who are going to tack onto my posts shit like, “it’s okay, OP, you can say x character.” Trust me, if I were talking about one character, I fucking would name drop them, don’t bring me into your fandom drama, I doubt I know or want to know who that anime guy is who looks like 12 other anime guys to me.

About Vespertine

You can call me that, Vespertine. I’d rather you didn’t go with Vesper, but as it is unfortunately so likely to happen, I won’t feed you to the dogs over it either. RPB Mun is also acceptable.

I’m alright with either she/her or he/him, they/them is also fine. Apparently, that was big enough clue-in for the poor reading comp crowd, so while I feel it is not of importance, I’m nonbinary, yes.

Late 30′s, chronically ill but still working adult with neurodivergence. I’m both busy and Busy, and always sick. This limits my brain power and ability to be here. I have an active RP blog that I won’t be sharing to keep responsible distance. That is always going to be my priority, it is my primary hobby.

Please, don’t tumblr message me totally random things if we don’t have that kind of relationship! I’m too ill and busy, and it really fucks my nerves to have a bunch of messages/have to suddenly interact socially with people. Don’t do it. Use my inbox, use the submit, comment on posts. I cannot do random messages of “hey” and so forth.

I only do written RP, don’t expect me to understand much of anything from tabletop. I’ve RPed for the last 23 years consistently, on every platform from AOL chats to forums to messengers and here. I also don’t do RP in discord, so I’m sorry, but I can’t advise you much on anything with a word count, except to stop it for serious RP. Other than that, I promise you that I’ve seen the trends, the drama, the fandoms. I can give a lot of advice and perspective on a wide range of topics, situations, and characters! When I don’t have a clue at all, I’ll try to do enough research to give you an answer.

Do I come off as a horrible, strict asshole? I do! I’m not going to say that I am just a shy bean who is more scared of you than you are me. I’m not. I’m honestly feral, but have common decency, compassion, and sense. All of which are lacking in the general RPC. So, if you can inbox/common/otherwise interact with anyone else on this site, you can totally handle me!

Honesty and openness are policies.

And in the spirit of that, I repeat; you can fucking do better, tumblr RPC!

#pinned post #tumblr rpc #rph #rp help #rp advice #rpbetter

[battlestar-royco]

here is part 2 of my sci fi recs masterlist! again, i could’ve gone on with even more recs but i decided to draw the line here. this set for the most part errs on the darker side, thematically, visually, conceptually etc. i personally find it super thought-provoking and intriguing but that’s just me. i highly recommend reading the tw under the cut if you’re thinking of watching, especially the matrix and space gothic slides. please view at your discretion <3

part 1/2

If you like WLW (um idk why I only made this slide based on identity; it just kinda happened lmao but I think it works):

Siren: (tw: parent loss, grief, thalassophobia) a mermaid surfaces in a cove town looking for her lost sister. Polyamorous relationship between a man, a black/indigenous woman, and the mermaid!!!! Environmentalism! As a person who has thalassophobia, I didn’t find this too hard to watch. There aren’t that many underwater scenes, thankfully.

Black Mirror: San Junipero: (tw: grief, but otherwise none that I recall; it’s pretty lighthearted) two women meet in a beach resort in the 80s and fall in love. Interracial wlw!

Orphan Black: (tw: suicide, infertility, rape implication, VB, language, drug use) a woman realizes she is one of several clones and uncovers an elaborate corporate conspiracy. This is one of my personal favorites with great rep of complex women of all ages and bodily autonomy. Several central queer characters and a black male secondary character!

Starfish: (tw: grief, a few jump scares and brief monstrous imagery, blood) after the death of her best friend, a young woman breaks into the deceased’s apartment and discovers a chain of music tapes that could save the world. Weird, subtle, and experimental. Not to sound like a surfer but you kinda have to allow yourself to be in the vibe. The main character and her friend were definitely a thing imo.

Annihilation: (tw: body horror, VB, disturbing imagery) a team of women scientists explore an anomaly that rapidly mutates genes. There are canonical and coded wlw and multiple (light-skinned) POC in this but the rep is short-lived. I put it on because although it should’ve been more ambitious with the casting, I think it breaks *some* ground for Hollywood sci fi with the all-woman team and more than one WOC. Wack ending though.

Mad Max: Fury Road: (tw: rape implication, violence) I think everyone knows about this one but: in the apocalypse, a woman breaks 4 younger women out of a harem. A badass car chase across the desert ensues. A bit light on plot/worldbuilding, but sooooo cool-looking and very thematic!!!!

If you liked STRANGER THINGS:

It: (tw: VB) don’t actually watch this lmao I’m serious. It’s really stupid, and not in a funny way. But I do think Stranger Things was inspired by this story overall. The modern It films are better but they’re also really kjslsklskls stupid? Stephen King in general is obsolete imo.

The Thing: (tw: VB) an alien that can take the form of others wreaks havoc on a scientific facility in Antarctica. It’s dark and vibey, but I feel like it’s just Alien in Antarctica with truly terrible special effects tbh?? Others feel differently. It’s also classified as sci fi/horror, so stay away if you’re easily scared! Not too good on representation.

Super 8: (tw: some language) a group of preteens witnesses an alien-caused train crash as they’re filming a home movie. Not diverse but I definitely think it inspired a lot of sci fi for the 2010s, ESPECIALLY Stranger Things. Not too scary either!

ET: (tw: it’s been a really long time since I watched so I don’t remember but it’s rated PG) I think everyone knows what this is about!

Alien: (tw: VB) truckers in space discover a deadly evolving alien. One of my favorite movies of all time! I love the aesthetic and the mood and worldbuilding so much. Ellen Ripley is one of the first Final Girls in the horror genre. I personally found this more of a sci fi than a horror movie but I’d say stay away if you’re nervous!!

Terminator: (tw: VB) a deadly android is sent to kill a woman who’s destined to birth the man who saves the world. Terminator 2 is way better imo because it centers on Sarah rather than the dudes saving her and trying to kill her. But it’s still worth a watch, you know, for the culture.

If you liked CONTAGION:

War of the Worlds: (tw: blood) pretty straightforward aliens come to Earth to take over. Sorry to rec another T*m Cruise movie but I really like the alien design and the apocalypsey feel of this one. Baby Dakota Fanning is in it too!

Falling Skies: (tw: VB, body horror, rape) alien invasion yada yada but the alien lore gets more interesting as it goes on. It’s kind of cheesy and yeah maybe I did discover it by looking up the iCarly boyfriend (and what about it??) but it’s nice to have on in the downtime. An Asian woman co-stars.

Knowing: (tw: blood) school students unearth a time capsule that contains a sheet from a girl who predicted all the tragic world events between 1959-2009. This is NOT a good movie but it’s SO hilarious to me because of the acting and contrivances. Fun to group-watch!!!!

10 Cloverfield Lane: (tw: VB, emotional abuse) a woman wakes up in a bunker to a captor who tells her that the world has fallen to alien apocalypse. I think this movie elevates the original Cloverfield in pretty much every way. Again, super tense and moody. The conflict revolves around whether or not the captor is being truthful.

Train to Busan: (tw: extreme VB and disturbing imagery) a man and his daughter are on a train when a zombie hops on at the last minute. It’s Korean with an all-Asian cast; Choi Woo-shik co-stars. I definitely wouldn’t watch if you’re scared of blood and gore. It’s very gross and violent.

12 Monkeys: (tw: ableism, violence) a man from the 2030s is sent back to the 1990s to prevent the plague that will end the world. I think the aesthetics of this are really cool but otherwise it’s not a favorite. But I think it appeals to people who like apocalypse and time travel stuff!

If you liked THE MATRIX:

Strange Days: (tw: rape, sex, nudity, VB, racism, police brutality) memories can be saved to hard-drives and sold on the black market for exorbitant prices. Very problematic and triggering presentation of rape, but young Angela Basset stars and there’s a condemnation of police brutality that’s still relevant 20+ years after its release.

Upgrade: (tw: ableism, VB, fridging) a disabled man installs an AI in his spine to help him move and investigate the murder of his wife. The premise is glaringly ableist and I feel weird even recommending it tbh but it’s got great visuals and a few good twists.

Altered Carbon: (tw: VB, weird interracial body switching, uhhh I haven’t finished this one IDK) in a society where human bodies are interchangeable, a man wakes up in a new body after 300 years of his mind being dormant. A Latina woman co-stars, two Asian characters in a subplot, a few other POC here and there as well. I think season 2 stars a black man.

eXistenZ: (tw: VB, anti-Asian racism, general weirdness? IDK it’s hard to describe. There are guns made out of bones and weirdly sexual visuals.) after someone tries to assassinate her, a video game designer and her bodyguard must play through her virtual reality game in order to save the only copy of the game.

Minority Report: (tw: VB, eye removal/insertion) all crimes are predicted and criminals reported before they are committed. The main character is preemptively accused of murder. This one is really white but it was one of the first movies that got me into sci fi. Early 2000s Colin Farrell <3.

If you liked WESTWORLD:

Humans: (tw: uncanny valley, objectification) androids are household helpers and public assistants throughout Britain until one day they start developing consciences. It hits a lot of the themes of Westworld without all the unnecessary pretentiousness, “edginess,” and “grittiness,” and it stars Gemma Chan and Colin Morgan!!

Blade Runner 2049: (^) an android is ordered to find and kill a human/android hybrid. It’s not without its issues but it’s one of my favorite movies of all time, right up there with Alien. So beautiful, so thematic, so thought-provoking (to me, anyway. I know a lot of people thought it was way too slow).

Ex Machina: (^) a man is invited to a private estate to help test the intelligence of an android. It’s kind of predictable imo but you know Oscar Isaac and Sonoya Mizuno are in it so we have to stan, and so is Domhnall Gleeson, for the SW fans! I like how isolated and quiet it feels.

I Am Mother: (tw: blood, gaslighting) after an extinction event, a young woman is raised by a lone android in a human repopulation facility until one day a woman knocks. It starts off slow and a bit generic, but I’m obsessed with the 2nd and 3rd acts of this movie---good acting, dialogue, and fantastic visuals. It has that same isolated feel as Ex Machina with only three characters, all of which are women/woman-coded!!!

If you liked ALIEN (space gothic):

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2008 reboot): (tw: genocide, war, colonization, VB, uncanny valley, rape, infidelity) space opera that follows humanity as it fights the ever-evolving and powerful enemy of their own creation: androids named Cylons. Um? I  L O V E  THIS SHOW SO MUCH and I truly do think it’s everything sci fi should be. There is a really unfortunate Miss Saigon-esque romance plot in season 1 and a lazily-written love triangle involving a black woman in season 3, but otherwise it’s one of my all-time favorites and I highly recommend. It’ll spin your mind and tug your heartstrings for years.

Black Mirror: Men Against Fire: (tw: genocide, war, nudity) soldiers in the near future protect citizens from mutant zombies, but one soldier starts experiencing strange hallucinations in the field. This is such an underrated Black Mirror episode starring a black man. There’s brief objectification of a black woman but it’s very anti-military and it has an interesting sterile aesthetic that reminds me of Alien.

High Life: (tw: rape, black holes/space anxiety, very disturbing) prisoners are given the option to join a space expedition and serve as experimental subjects en route to a black hole. Please please stay away if you are triggered by sexual violence of any kind. There’s almost no physical violence in this movie but it’s psychologically haunting imo.

The Faculty: (tw; VB, drug use) high schoolers discover their teachers are being possessed by an invading alien race. I LOVE THIS MOVIE LMFAOOOO. The cast is SO wild---Elijah Wood, John Oliver, Usher, Salma Hayek, Josh Hartnett??? And I’m probably forgetting more. The combination of the cast, the terrible dialogue, and shitty special effects is PEAK comedy imo. But bear in mind it’s bloody!!

Prometheus: (tw: body horror, VB, uncanny valley) a crew of scientists heads on a deep space mission to find the aliens who created the human race. A prequel to Alien, but I kind of view it as its own thing. Despite the plot holes, I love this movie too! It was one of my sci fi gateways and the visuals are stunning. It’s pretty gory though so if that’s not your thing stay away.

Life: (tw: extreme VB) a lesser Alien, but it provides all the space gothic tropes (jokey crew, shots of space, really pretty spaceship, everyone dies, creepy alien) with a well-known cast---Gyllenhaal, Reynolds, etc.

The X Files: (tw: a few episodes contain 90s racism, sexism, queerphobia etc but you can skip them) a lot of people have watched this so I barely have to explain, but it’s one of my favorites. Two FBI agents investigate multiple aliens and get involved in government conspiracies along the way. A good gateway!

A Quiet Place: (tw: child loss, VB, tension) I think most people know what this is about too. Alien apocalypse with aliens that hunt by sound. The daughter in the family is deaf, and so is the actress who portrays her. The representation of deafness was critically acclaimed.

#maxine talks sci fi #movie recs #maxine did you read/watch

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Warning: long rant about how everything in the world is terrible. Nothing I haven’t covered before on this blog. Well, a bit of new specific information, but the same general themes. TW for transphobia and general terrible-ness.

For the last while, I have been vaguely considering whether I should add Black Books to my list of things to watch. I’ve heard good things about it, and I like Bill Bailey. Basically all I know about it is the main character’s a degenerate who likes to drink and hates people; as a degenerate who likes to drink and hates people, I’m always down for representation of that trope.

Then I watched QI, sKe07. Its guests were Jo Brand, Jimmy Carr, and Graham Linehan. Like I often do when I see people I don’t recognize on panel shows, I looked Graham Linehan up on Wikipedia. When I look up panelists, it’s to see where they’re from so I can match their accent to that place and get better at identifying regional accents. I also like to do a quick scan of the first few sentences of their Wikipedia page so I can see what part of the public world they inhabit. Are we talking about a singer? A writer? An actor/actress? A stand-up comedian? A producer? I’m interested in knowing that so I can have some context when I watch them on a panel show. That’s all I was looking for from Graham Linehan’s Wikipedia page. That’s all I wanted to know.

I immediately got the answers I sought – from Dublin, guy who created Black Books and The IT Crowd – and I was about to close the page when a line caught my eye: “Linehan is a vocal critic of transgender rights activism.” I did not go looking for this line. I did not scroll down to the section on his personal life or political controversy or anything like that. I didn’t even scroll to his career section. I just read the summary at the top, where they put the major things that define him. In this case, the summary was four sentences long. One sentence told me he was Irish; one told me he created The IT Crowd and Black Books, among other things; one told me he wrote for Brass Eye, among other things; and one told me he hates trans people. One of those things was not like the others.

My curiosity got the better of me; I scrolled down to the section called “Anti-transgender activism”. You know that scene in Arrested Development when Michael Bluth takes a plastic bag out of the fridge, sees it’s labelled “Dead Dove – Do Not Eat”, looks inside anyway, sees a dead dove, and resignedly says, “Well, I don’t know what I expected…”? That’s me when I go to the Wikipedia page of a person who has helped to create things I enjoy, and then scroll down to a section called “Anti-transgender activism”.

This is not just a case of a guy who made an off-colour Tweet ten years ago and is now being hit by “cancel culture”. Graham Linehan has posted enough transphobic shit for it to make the summary at the top of his Wikipedia page. He’s been sued for harassment by a trans woman and warned by police to not contact her. He’s actively tried to organize support for denying funding to an organization that helps trans kids. He’s compared doctors who work with trans kids to Nazis. He’s posted so much hateful shit that he got himself banned from Twitter for it. And considering the amount of hate that is allowed to be posted on Twitter, that must mean he did a hell of a lot.

Then I took a closer look at his career, and of course he’s everywhere. Appeared in The Day Today and I’m Alan Partridge, two shows I’ve watched recently (I don’t know who he was in The Day Today, but I remember his appearance on I’m Alan Partridge and thought he played quite a funny character). Did bits of writing for lots of different shows, worked with lots of different writers.

I am pleased to say apparently The Last Leg tried to nominate him as Dick of the Year, and only didn’t give him the award because he said he wanted to win it. Coming across that little tidbit in the middle of a depressing Wikipedia article was nice, because this whole thing is a general reminder that everything you like might turn out to just be a way for terrible people to profit. Knowing this guy has his hands all over the British comedy industry is not a fun thing to find out when I am spending a pandemic coping with the world ending by getting very invested in the British comedy industry.

I realize the answer here is “don’t get invested in celebrities, you don’t actually know them and therefore you have no way to know if they’re terrible people.” But the thing is, by that logic we should never trust anyone because people in real life turn out to be terrible all the time. I have spent so much of my life playing a game that Ben Cafferty of the show Veep (made by Armando Iannucci, who has worked with Graham Linehan at least a couple of times) called “who knew what when”. In real life, I spend most of my time in a community in which most people involved at least know of most other people involved, but actually know each other to differing degrees (you know, like every other community). It’s a community that’s based around a mostly male-dominated sport, and it is not known for what one would call #wokeness. Distressingly often, we all find out that someone we’ve all known for years has apparently been fucking terrible all along. Someone I’ve been friendly with when I see them around at events, because I had no idea. But when I hear that they [anything from committed sexual harassment and/or assault to embezzled money that was meant for low-income youth], I immediately think about all their closest associates. Who was like me – only friendly with them because they had no idea? And who knew all along and was friendly with them anyway because they didn’t care?

I found myself playing that game a little bit while reading Graham Linehan’s Wikipedia page, wondering how many of my favourite comedy people have been happy to work with him despite knowing how terrible he is. Apparently not Josh Widdicombe, Alex Brooker, or Adam Hills. So that’s nice. But the fact is that I normally don’t get answers to these questions even when it comes to people I know personally within my own community. I’m sure as hell not getting answers about celebrities.

So, with every individual person I want to like, I just have to choose to believe it’s probably fine, because otherwise I’d never be able to enjoy anything. Basically, the best solution I’ve worked out so far is to just sort of vaguely know that almost everyone is terrible, but to also know that we can’t really know exactly who the terrible people are and to what degree they are terrible, so we may as well choose to enjoy things sometimes anyway. And no, that is not just an attitude I’ve developed due to unwise emotional investment in celebrities. I developed this attitude many years ago to deal with real life.

I realize I’ve gone on about all these things before on this blog. They’re just still true. And the thing is that if you spend most of your time intentionally not consciously thinking about the fact that terrible people are wound up in every part of life, then it comes as a bit of a jolt every time you unsuspectingly open a Wikipedia article to check someone’s hometown and find out they harass trans women on the internet. And then there’s a reminder that everyone is terrible, and then it’s hard to enjoy things without feeling guilty for a while, until you get used to this new information and go back to being vaguely numb to the general fact that everyone in the world is terrible.

Remember that episode of The IT Crowd where Douglas Reynholm dated a trans woman, and the entire plot of the episode was that this was a hilariously terrible thing to happen to him? I cringed when I watched that episode, but I figured… it was 2008. I hate the argument that because something happened a long time ago it’s fine for it to be hateful because no one knew being hateful was wrong back then. It was 2006 when my high school best friend came out to me as trans. I was fifteen years old, but I still knew enough to have empathy for her, to understand that if she came out publicly she would have to face life as one of the most marginalized identities in the world, and that was a terrible thing because hate was bad. If a teenager in 2006 knew that, I can expect adult writers of television shows in 2008 to have known it too.

But when I got to that episode of The IT Crowd I just cringed my way through it, telling myself that maybe the writers didn’t have a trans friend growing up the way I did, maybe they had somehow gone through life without ever having a reason to question the narrative they’d been fed about trans women only existing as a punchline in a gay panic joke. Maybe if someone pointed out to them that this kind of representation contributes to that toxic narrative that means many trans women are surrounded by people who think they’re a joke at best and a threat at worst, they would say, “Oh shit, I didn’t realize that, of course I wouldn’t have made that episode if I had realized that because I don’t want to hurt people,” and they’d feel bad about the episode. Therefore, maybe they weren’t really bad people so I didn’t really need to feel guilty about watching their show. I could just… not enjoy that one plotline in that one episode but go back to enjoying the show afterward and gloss over that part when I look back on the show later. You know, like with the blackface in The Mighty Boosh’s TV show. (Is it possible that Noel Fielding and Julian Barrett really didn’t know how fucked up blackface was by the mid-00s? Like how apparently Justin Trudeau didn’t know either by 2001? I knew blackface was fucked up in 2001, and I turned eleven that year. I certainly knew it by the time The Mighty Boosh first aired.)

Anyway. It turns out giving people the benefit of the doubt is often not a good idea. If people do hateful shit, much of the time it’s not because they don’t know they’re hurting people. Much of the time, they know they’re hurting people, but they don’t care. But most of the time, when they get called out of it, they’ll pretend they didn’t know and give an apology written by their PR team. Most of the time they don’t immediately admit to, and double down on, their hatred until they get banned from fucking Twitter. But apparently Graham Linehan decided not to bother with the PR strategies and just fucking call doctors Nazis on the internet.

Oh right, I remember how this post started. To briefly revisit my original point, I'm not going to add Black Books to my list of things to watch.

[yanderewhims]

Hello! So I've been wanting to start yandere blog, but I'm a bit scared to. I know it's a controversial subject to write and can be very triggering to others, but personally I would like to try it out! What do you think I should do?

Hello there anon!

I can understand how you feel--yandere IS a very touchy subject with most people and there will be people (like antis who run quite rampant in fandoms) who will try to shame you for liking or writing for it, calling you an 'abuse apologist' or all kinds of shit. However it's important to understand that it is only fictional. Just because you write certain subjects does not mean you condone them in real life. For example, a someone who writes crime shows write about murder a lot. Does that mean they support murder? No it does not! It's all about being able to separate fiction from reality and understanding that just because you read/write about something bad, doesnt mean you're a bad person. Everyone has their own reason for liking 'problematic' content-- some people use it to cope (I personally do this a bit), some people do it to explore the subject, etc. It's not a bad thing to explore things in fiction.

Some tips I do have however:

1. Tagging is your best friend. Always be sure to tag yandere-themed posts properly so they won't end up in main tag, or so people who dislike yandere can blacklist and block the tags. I always tag posts as 'tw yandere' so that people can blacklist it.

2. Add trigger warnings! It's important to always warn any readers what they will read about. If it contains something that they're not comfortable with, for example NSFW content, they know to not to read it. Also, it's just more courteous.

3. Tumblr tagging system is pretty fucked up though, so even if it includes the characters name it will end up in tags. Screenshotting the request is a good idea to prevent that.

4. Just be mindful of what you write. As mentioned before, yandere can be triggering and uncomfortable to others, which is understandable, after all it does deal with things like abuse and toxic relationships. I'm no purity police, lmao I'm the last person to purity police, but I think its important to understand just what you're writing and why others would be uncomfortable. Try not to romanticize it too much, because remember: yanderes are not a positive thing. They are negative, they are toxic, they are abusive and vile, so try to portray it as such, if that makes sense.

That being said, if you wanna make a blog for it, go for it! Just try to keep certain things in mind, but also have fun with it. Like I said before: it's all just fiction.

#yandere #yandere talk #i hope this helps!

[quirkydahlias]

Hi, I read the Kirishima fic you did and I love the more serious/adult setting for it! I was wondering if you’d be willing to write more about it? Like maybe a scenario where bakugou has an s/o who is devastated about not being able to save some civilians in a villain attack and how’d he go about helping them deal with that? Thanks!

bruh, my Long Road Ahead AU makes me so inspired to write you can’t comprehend the happiness I have when writing for my AU. Anyway. Sorry for the wait, I was busy doing old requests u w u! Hopefully, this makes up for it~.

Also: TW for Mature themes like Death, Wishing for Death, Survivor’s Guilt

Fallout (Katsuki Bakugou x Reader) (Long Road Ahead AU)

The story was plastered all over the news.

Every news channel.

Every paper.

Every major radio station.

All reporting the same thing.

“The pro heroes have failed us once again!”

“Shut down the hero programs in schools!”

“This is why we need more police!”

Bakugou shut off the TV irritably, knowing full well that if he left it running, he’d throw the controller and crack the screen… again. Not that he cared much for television anymore, with all the anti-hero propaganda that has been circulating as of late.

All Might was gone.

Dead 

And with his death, trust in pro heroes across the world died as well.

Emboldened by the loss of such an important figure in hero society, the League grew and crime spread like wildfire, crime becoming increasingly violent and common. So it was inevitable that the pro heroes slipped up eventually. However, such mistakes are not only costly but corrosive to the already crumbling reputation of heroes.

That was the main reason why (Y/N) lay on the couch, head, and arm bandaged, eyes glued to the black void of the television. “I was watching that.” 

Their voice sounded monotone and dead. From the glassy look in their eyes, Katsuki could figure that they weren’t truly paying attention to what was on the TV. Regardless, he wasn’t about to have that kind of talk float around their head.

“Sucks.” he shrugged, maintaining control of the TV from the kitchen counter as he continued to dice carrots.

(Y/N) lifted their head from the couch cushion, giving a pointed look at their boyfriend. Feeling their gaze, Bakugou looked up, the two sharing a rather passive-aggressive stare.

“I mean it, Katsuki,” (Y/N) reiterated, stressing each word to get their point across. “I need to see what’s on the news.” However, Bakugou wasn’t having it, the ash blond just shaking his head before turning his attention back to the cutting board and the potatoes and carrots he was adding to a pot on the stove.

“No, you fucking don’t. All you’re trying to do is punishing yourself by making yourself listen to the media rant about you.” Returning to his cutting board, he used every syllable he uttered to slam his knife down on the poor proteins, venting his irritation through cooking. “Besides, they’re making the situation seem worse than how it actually is.”

A deafening silence made itself at home between the couple, unspoken thoughts hanging in the stale air.

“Megumi.”

“What?” He replied, adding the proteins to the pot as well before giving the mixture a good stir.

“Megumi. Megumi Ito.”

“What are you talking about?” Although, being as sharp as he was, Katuski already had developed a small hunch as to what his partner was alluding to.

“Did you know that was the name was the girl that died in my arms?”

He figured that the name belonged to someone in the villain attack. Though the hours of news running clued him in on what was going on. Without the best response in mind, he opted to remain silent and let (Y/N) vent a little.

“There were so many others, but she was the one who died in front of me. Katsuki, do you know what she told me before she died?”

“What?” he asked, voice quiet, barely audible and for once, without the usual hint of attitude he usually accompanied with his words.

“ ‘I’m scared, please…’” (Y/N) looked distant, settling back down on their side, cheek pressed against their pillow, “She kept repeating the same thing over and over and over again, ‘please’. Again and again before she finally… went silent.”

Bakugou knew better than to open up his trap, instead, leaving the pot on a low flame before seating himself in the living room on the couch, (Y/N)’s legs now draped over his lap.

“So many people died because I didn’t do enough,” (Y/N) hissed, a tight, clench on the pillow they rested their head on. “I had to tell Megumi’s parents after the accident, about her death, I mean. Bakugou, I didn’t even know her name!”

(Y/N) suddenly stopped, unable to speak as Bakugou roughly grabbed their arm, yanking them into his tight embrace as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around them. Tears finally streamed down their cheeks, pressing their face against his broad chest.

“Just shut up for a sec,” Katsuki instructed, leaning in to rest his chin on their head, “You’re breathing like you just fucking ran a marathon.”

While even Bakugou would admit that the way he tried to calm (Y/N) down was harsh- to say the least, it’s beyond obvious that he’s was trying his best.

“I…I…,” So much wanted to come out. Whether it was the feelings of guilt, eating away at (Y/N) heart, the burning shame of failure charring their skin, or the increasing anger bubbling in them, all pointed at their failure to save innocents in their time of need.

“Look at me,” Katsuki whispered, his gaze softening a little as he released his tight grip on them, pulling away.

It took a while, (Y/N) not wanting to look so pathetic in front of their partner. Furiously using their sleeve to rub their eyes and sniffling, they blinked once. Then once again, trying to quickly wipe away any tears that threatened to form- in the same way, windshield wipers frantically swish back and forth to wash away the rain.

Once they collected themselves, (Y/N) managed to look up and lock eyes with Bakugou. They licked their chapped lips and with a rather pitiful look spoke up.

“I should have died instead.”

Okay.

Okay.

It was one thing to feel guilty about the attack and to be second-guessing oneself when looking back on the accident.

It was another to want to be hurt- to be killed, in order to “atone” for a simple slip up.

Whatever Katsuki felt something else boiling inside him, something different from the anger entirely.

Looking into (Y/N)’s eyes, the first image that came to mind was his old high school heroics teacher, All Might. The fucker’s ever-present grin, gone. Blood dripping down the side of his face- all for the sake of his kidnapped student.

The anguish, sadness, guilt. All in (Y/N)’s eyes were once his.

He knew exactly what they were going through, to want to turn things back. To wish for time to reverse, if only they could prevent tragedy. Being forced to live with the weight of failure for the rest of their lives. He’d been there.

The similarities between them giving Bakugou a boost of confidence, finally knowing how to handle the situation.

To comfort the way he could only wish he was comforted then.

Bakugou knew that the delivery had to be right, and different than the way he’d prefer it, for (Y/N)’s sake. This level of…survivor’s guilt, for lack of a better word, was fresher, more intense than the guilt he felt for taking down the number one hero…because at the very least, All Might made it out alive.

Using his thumb, Katsuki wiped away the tears beading in the corners of (Y/N)’s eyes. Then he cracked a small, lopsided smile.

And patted them on the head.

(Y/N) blinked, stopping all train of thought as they furrowed their brows at Katsuki’s uncharacteristic behavior. He wasn’t the type to be… physically affectionate. At least in this manner anyway, so why the sudden-

Another pat.

And then another.

As he patted their head, Katsuki used his other hand and snaked his hand around their waist and to the small of their back, pulling his partner into a small hug.

“Listen.” He started, thankful that this position prevented (Y/N) from seeing how red his ears and face were. “We’re going to make it through this.”

“Bakugou…”

“Shut it. You’re stronger than this. I know you fucking are, got it? You’re too fucking tough to let one mistake define you.” He stopped patting, awkwardly and slowly running his hand down (Y/N)’s spine, soothing their nerves. “I get it, you feel like shit for being the one to walk away from something like this, especially when someone else doesn’t.”

He stopped moving altogether, trying to figure out whether or not he should even bring up All Might as a way of saying, “Hey, I was there too!”. However, he ultimately decided against it, preferring to make this more about (Y/N) than himself. Besides, he dug deep enough into old wounds already at this point.

“But you’re gonna pick your ass up and keep pushing forward, if not for yourself or me…for Ito. For every damn person in that fucking accident, you save another 100. Understand?”

(Y/N) nodded- Katsuki’s fiery language and spurring little speech warming them from the inside out, their cheeks heating a bit when they felt his lips on the top of their head.

“The media’s been riding your ass for days now,” He pulled back, immediately adverting his eyes to save face in front of his partner, though it just made him look even more endearing, “What they say doesn’t and won’t fucking matter to you, me, or any self-respecting hero.”

“So let those extras curse you out and drag heroes through the mud all they fucking want, we’re still gonna do our jobs. Sound good?” He asked, raising his fist up at (Y/N)

(Y/N) cracked a small smile, happy tears beginning to form as they bumped their fist against their boyfriend.

“Sounds good.”

Bonus (Because that was way too sad for too long):

“Here,” Katsuki started, having dragged (Y/N)’s ass to get some food into them. “You haven’t eaten anything all day.”

“Oh?” (Y/N) peered down at the plate in front of them, a bed of rice with some curry was presented before them. And as nice as it looked, something just felt off about it. “This looks pretty good~.”

“’Course it fucking is. I made it, dumbass. Just try it.” He quickly turned his back to his partner, plating himself a big helping of curry as well, “It’s one of my favorite comfort foods.”

Together, the dug in, (Y/N) being convinced that the food was alright considering how Bakugou dug into his meal. Following suit, they popped the curry into their mouth right before…

Wanting to pop it right back out.

“Katsuki!” (Y/N) hissed, immediately sitting up from the counter and rushing around and into the kitchen to get water. Milk. Anything at this point. “Ish so fuckin’ hawt!”

At this point, their tongue was numb, thanks to the increased spice, (Y/N) fortunate enough that there was a bottle of water in the fridge to down while Bakugou raised an eyebrow to the scene before him.

“I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about,” Bakugou deadpanned, eating another spoonful of the spicy curry as if it was nothing, “I even lowered the spice level for you.”

He could feel the silent waves of anger radiating off of (Y/N), which only amused him, even more, to see how much they wanted to scold and yell at him and yet, were unable to as they emptied the bottle.

“Fuck,” They panted, taking in air through their mouth in a futile attempt to quench the metaphorical flames, “You.”

“You’re fucking lucky I added the spice separately. Give me your food and I’ll finish it for you. Then you can get some from the pot.” he instructed before he lowered his voice a bit, taking in another spoonful of curry goodness.

“Pussy.”

“I heard that!”

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bakugou katsuki #canon x reader #canon x reader hc #katsuki bakugou

[think-queer]

I’ve started to change the way I’m tagging things, there are still a lot of things in my queue that use my old method of tagging but I think that I’ve found a system that works better so I’ll be switching over to that. More information under the break for anyone interested or who wants to be able to block certain tags.

There are four categories of tags I'll be using:

1. Blog specific tags: I use these in case anyone wants to avoid those posts from this blog specifically. If you follow me just for reblogs and don't want to see flags I make then you can just block my personal flag tag and still see other people's flags.

2. Organizational tags: these are mostly so it's easier to look through the blog archive. Many of these are positive or funny posts that people can go through if they need a bit of positivity. Undescribed videos and images will also be tagged, if you need descriptions you can block this tag and if you are able to do descriptions you can look through this tag (I am rarely able to do descriptions myself)

3. Mentions: these are tags for if an issue is being mentioned or discussed. I recommend blocking these tags for anything that you find extremely triggering and don't want to see mentioned at all. I know some people might use this to avoid thinking about ways their actions might hurt people, but I've decided it's more important to me that people are able to keep themselves safe than it is to prevent people from hiding from certain discussions. If you need me to tag mentions of anything then feel free to send in an ask (you can request I respond privately) There are some things I may not be able to tag or may not always remember to tag. I have a lot of physical and mental health issues that make it difficult to remember things sometimes.

4. Content Warnings: these are tags for things that are directly shown or graphically described in the post itself. For example, if someone is telling a story that involves mentions of blood I will tag it "blood mention" but if someone posts an image with blood I will tag it "blood cw" I use CW (content warning) instead of TW (trigger warning) because I feel it's more accurate. It is a warning that the post contains something, and people may want to avoid it even if it isn't technically a trigger. There are a few that I don't add the CW because it feels like it would be disrespectful.

Blog specific:

TQlk - text additions and text posts

TQ Orig - original posts

TQ Art - my art

TQ flag - my original flags

Ask to TQg - posts that I feel like might need to be tagged but I'm not sure how to tag them

TQA - publicly answered asks

UnTQgged - posts that I feel like need tags but can't tag. either because it feels disrespectful, because op requested it not to be tagged, or because I don't have the spoons to tag

TQ Update - posts about the blog, changes to queue or tagging system

Off TQpic - posts that aren't explicitly about queer issues

TQ personal - things that aren't really important updates but are just me talking about the blog or life. These probably aren't worth reblogging, although I won't mind if anyone does. 

TQueue - queued posts, usually reblogs

TQ rant -Text posts about issues that I feel very strongly about, usually also angry.

TQ Giveaway -Posts about planned or current giveaways of some kind, probably won’t be used often.

Organizational:

Humor - memes, jokes, and light hearted posts

Positivity - posts that focus on positivity

Art - queer/pride themed art

Video - video posts

Audio - audio posts

Undescribed -video, audio, or image without a description

Uncaptioned - video without any captions

Flags - pride flags and coining posts

Resources - resources for things like transitioning and coming out

Queer history -Posts about the history of identities, queer historical figures, or the history of queer movements.

Mental health - posts that are mainly about mental health, including resources and support

Mention (common tags, non-exhaustive list):

Sex work mention 

Transphobia mention

Homophobia mention

Transmisogyny mention

Transandrophobia mention - transphobia that specifically targets trans men and transmasculine people

Coperate pride mention -discussions of the commercialization of pride

TERF mention

Exclusionism mention

Aphobia mention

Panphobia mention

Biphobia mention

Racism mention

Ableism mention 

CSA mention

Grooming mention

Abuse mention 

Rape mention

Sexual abuse mention

Suicide mention

Self harm mention

Police mention

Pedophilia mention

Transmedicalism mention

Etc.

Content warnings (common tags, non-exhaustive list):

Kink at pride (no cw) for discussions of kink at pride and the arguments surrounding it

Body image (no cw) posts that focus on certain types of bodies in a way that may trigger dysphoria or other body image issues

Scars (no cw)

Anger (no cw)

Sex work (no cw)

Long Post (no cw)

Sex cw -specifically for graphic or detailed descriptions of sex that may bother someone sex repulsed

Fakeout cw -posts that start off as if they're saying something bigoted and then switch to being supportive

Negativity cw - overall negative or pessimistic posts

Genitals cw

Transphobia cw

Homophobia cw

Transmisogyny cw

Transandrophobia cw

Transmedicalism cw

Exclusionism cw

Biphobia cw

Aphobia cw

Racism cw

Anti indigenous racism cw

Police brutality cw

Etc.

I’m going to update the tags page on my blog and will add to it as needed.

Again, I deal with a lot of physical and mental health issues, so there will be times that I may forget to tag something or tag it incorrectly. If you notice that I didn’t tag something then please inform me in a respectful manner, I am doing my best but I am far from perfect

#tq update #tqlk #tq personal #off tqpic #long post