#uhhhh ignore how bad this is I just wanna find other fans of him

[liaislying]

Awwww my little scrumblo!!! My little stink man, my little baby girl princess!!!.!.!

(A little doodle of beej in my sketchbook. I’m determined to draw him more I’m obsessed with him)

#musical beetlejuice #beetlejuice #beetlebabes dni #sketchbook #art #illustration #sketch #musical #my little guy #my scrunkly #my scrumblo #I can woobify him as much as I want #I’m projecting on him and I’ve decided hes an ass but I love him #uhhhh ignore how bad this is I just wanna find other fans of him #please beej musical fans come find me 🥺 #tell me what you would do if you found him in a cardboard box behind a Walmart

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Satisfied, Part 38

First

Previous

Next

~~~

She woke up with a groan and rubbed her eyes. Someone, probably Chloe, had tucked her into bed. She smiled faintly and sat up.

A glance at her phone found a text from Chloe saying she’d gotten home safely, a text from Jason asking if she was okay (really subtle), and a text from Damian asking if she wanted to talk.

She closed her eyes, letting her phone drop to her side. She didn’t really want to talk about anything, she’d already cried herself out of tears the night before and she didn’t intend on doing that again anytime soon.

She glanced at her work. She kinda needed to get a move on, the Wayne Gala was steadily approaching, but she didn’t really have any motivation to do that. She didn’t feel like being productive at all, actually.

What she wanted, really, was a distraction. She mulled over her options. Most of her hobbies also felt like work, from designing to baking, so… what could she do?

Oh!

She pulled up a chat.

Definitelyforgottosleep: wanna hang out today

She barely had to wait for an answer.

Coffeeismygirlfriend: Sure! I’ll be there soon.

She got up and went to the bathroom to get ready, only to see the dried blood on her floor. She bit her cheek and then walked to the door. She glanced back in it’s direction and smiled when she realized her counter covered it. Good. She could deal with that later, then. She didn’t feel like cleaning.

Marinette smiled as she opened the door an hour later, fully ready.

Tim smiled. “Hey! Ready to do some work?”

She grinned and rushed past him, hooking her arm with his. “Nope!”

He blinked confusedly as he allowed her to drag him along. “Uhhhh this wasn’t expected.”

“I can see that. You work too much anyways.”

Tim groaned. “Not you, too! I thought you understood!”

“Not saying it’s a bad thing, but I don’t want to do work today.”

He looked at her like she was insane.

She grinned and pulled him into an arcade that she’d seen a few times on patrol. “Behold! I’m gonna teach you how to have fun!”

He raised his eyebrows slightly. “I know how to have fun.”

“Mmm,” she said, not agreeing or disagreeing.

They both pulled out their wallets and then eyed each other warily. Marinette crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’m the one who wanted to come.”

“I’m the one with more money.”

She rolled her eyes and, however reluctantly, put her money away. He had a point. He probably wouldn’t even register the loss.

He smiled like he’d won something and handed over his credit card. “Uhhhh just as many points as you can give us, I guess?”

The clerk looked exhausted as she nodded, handing over the plastic cards.

And, with that, they were off.

She was better at most of the straight video games. He complained about difficult controls, but she was pretty sure he just wasn’t used to playing on consoles. It made sense, he didn’t really seem the type to play video games in his off time (if he even had any offtime, of course).

Still, he gave her a pout every time he lost. “You’re cheating.”

“Yeah. I’m cheating on this game that I’ve literally never played before in my life. You’ve caught me.”

He huffed. “We’re playing something else.”

Then they moved onto games based on sports. Were they maybe a bit too good at these types of games? A bit too quick? Yes. But neither of them intended on saying anything because oh cool tickets. Still, it became obvious they had different skill sets: Tim had her beat at basketball and Marinette never lost at skeeball. They never learned who was better at air hockey because one of their hits sent the puck flying into someone’s head and they had to run away before they got sued.

Next was games of luck…

She got the lowest possible amount of tickets. Five times in a row.

Marinette kicked the machine and then cursed at the pain. “THIS IS STUPID.”

Tim, however, was trying his hardest not to laugh. “This shouldn’t even be possible.”

“Helpful,” she muttered.

He gave a small shrug as he stepped up to the machine. “Maybe it’s just rigged or something,” he said. She would have been inclined to agree... if he didn’t get a jackpot on his first try.

She huffed at his smug grin. “Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I could feel you judging me,” she muttered, giving his shoulder a small shove.

He grinned. “I’d never.”

She rolled her eyes. “New type of game!”

After a bit they managed to find some co-op games, and she was delighted to find that the two of them together made for a pretty formidable team. Admittedly, some of the games weren’t technically supposed to be played as co-op, but who was going to stop them from getting as many tickets as possible from this fishing game by working together? Really it was the designer’s fault for not taking that into consideration.

They ran out of credits about every hour, but did they care? Not really. Mostly because Tim never told her when this happened, usually waiting until she was distracted with a game to go recharge their cards. Did Marinette notice the fact that their cards were seemingly never ending or that sometimes they would randomly have a lot more credits? Maybe, but she was enjoying herself enough to avoid the guilt at least temporarily.

Eventually, though, the arcade was coming to a close.

They had bags upon bags of tickets hanging off their arms, but this would become their downfall. Despite being smart enough to find ways to get the most tickets at every game, they apparently weren’t smart enough to think ahead and were now struggling to untangle the tickets.

“How did you even do this, bean?”

She knocked her head against the machine she’d been leaning on. “Less talking, more untangling,” she muttered irritably, struggling with a ticket that somehow had gotten a knot in it.

They ignored the workers’ glares as they finally managed to hand over the little slip with their ticket count on it. Despite how much they’d gotten, they were forced to go to the cheapest section.

She pouted. “Man, we were cheated.”

“We could just buy the stuff, it’s a lot cheaper that way.”

She turned her gaze on him, an incredulous look on her face. “Of course not! Where’s the fun in that?”

“You would actually get what you wanted…?”

She huffed. “Boring.”

“You just said you felt cheated.”

“That’s part of the experience, Timothy.”

He rolled his eyes and they split off in search of what they could afford. Her eyes landed on the vigilante merch and a smile came to her face as she got a plan. She quickly rang herself up and headed to the bathroom to change.

She grinned at him as she stepped out in a Red Robin themed hoodie, clutching a plush version of the vigilante to her chest. 

Because what’s the point of knowing your friends’ secret identities if you can’t mess with them?

He blushed, his grip tightening on the bag of prizes in his hand.

Marinette tried not to laugh as she looped her arm with his again, pulling him out into the streets. She really didn’t know where they were going, but she didn’t want to just leave when he was looking so flustered. What a wasted opportunity!

“So, Red Robin fan?” He asked after a bit.

She smiled. “Of course! He’s super smart! I mean, I know Batman is supposed to be the greatest detective of all time or whatever but, considering ages and experience, I think that Red Robin is probably going to have him beat in… I don’t know, a few years?”

Poor Tim looked like he was about to pass out, his face was so red.

She smiled and sat down with him on a park bench. People were thinning around them as night approached, but she didn’t care. What was going to happen? They get attacked? That would only really be a bad time for the criminal.

“But I’ve actually met the guy a few times. He’s really nice and genuinely cares about his job from what I’ve seen. Don’t think there’s anything bad to say about him, honestly.”

He grinned, resting an arm around her shoulders.

“He’s alright, I guess.” An odd light sparkled in his eyes and he reached into his bag. He shuffled through his things for a bit and then held up a mug…

There was a picture of Ladybug on it.

“I think she’s cooler, though.”

Marinette fought the urge to bury her face in his shoulder as a blush came to her face. Ah. So this has backfired on her, apparently. All she could manage was a quiet: “Oh?”

“Yep! I think it’s really cool that she came over from Paris, because she really didn’t have to do that. No one would have said anything if she’d disappeared when Hawkmoth was defeated, but instead she decided to help Gotham!”

They were alone, now. This was great, because she didn’t need anyone else seeing her looking like a tomato. She fiddled with the Red Robin plushie in her lap for an excuse to look away.

A hand rested on her cheek and she looked up to see him. He was still a little flushed from her own compliments, but now there was a small grin playing at his lips. “Everything alright, bean? You look a little bit flushed, are you coming down with something?”

She opened her mouth to give an excuse before something struck her. Tim wasn’t stupid, she hadn’t been lying when she had said so. He couldn’t genuinely be wondering if she was sick, the smug look on his face made that obvious. So the only reason he’d be acting like this was if he was teasing her, which meant…

“You know?”

His eyes widened slightly and then flicked to the side. His hand lowered. “And I’m guessing you do, too?”

She nodded almost imperceptibly, closing her eyes. “What gave me away?”

“I was kinda suspicious during the food fight, you were a bit too good at it for a normal civvie, but I really figured it out because of the fox necklace. The one time she wears it is the one time I’ve seen you ever have it? It was just too much of a coincidence.”

She swore in French. She’d forgotten about that! She was going to start wearing the fox miraculous casually to alleviate suspicion, but Red Robin hadn’t come by much after that and she hadn’t been completely sure it was Tim.

“And how’d you figure me out?”

She hesitated. “It was obvious, honestly.”

“Damian?”

She blinked. “What? How’d you know?”

“You wouldn’t lie to protect anyone else.”

Fair enough. “Damian and I sparred, I recognized his fight style.”

He nodded and pulled her into his side a bit more.

She leaned into his touch a little bit, slinging an arm over his stomach lazily. “What do you think I should do?” She mumbled.

He didn’t bother to ask what she was talking about. “Honestly? I don’t like you going out into the field again. You’re not well…”

“But?”

“But the Rogues are unstable and I don’t like the idea of trying to fight them all off without any knowledge of what they were going to do.”

She nodded slightly. That made sense. “That’s about what I figured, too.”

“I don’t like you going out into the field again. You’re not well,” he repeated, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “The rest of them are probably going to be even more against the idea than me.”

“I’ll convince them.”

“Can you?”

Her head shot up to look at him and she bit at the inside of her cheek. He had a point, unfortunately. Jason was going to be against it, Bruce would probably be cautious of her because of his whole anti-murder thing, Dick would probably lean towards not letting her out again as well. She thought she might be able to convince Damian, but then again he was the only one who knew the full extent of what had happened over the past week.

She sighed and leaned into him again, closing her eyes. She buried her face in his shoulder. “Can you help?”

“Maybe,” he said softly, and she knew immediately that whatever he was going to say she wasn’t going to like it. “If you go to therapy regularly they’d probably be more okay with it.”

She cringed. There was that suggestion again: therapy. It was almost like she needed it or something. Still, she felt her normal excuse fall off her tongue: “What, am I supposed to tell them who I am?”

“Yep.”

She frowned.

“All of us have a regular therapist who sees us in costume and we talk about the job.”

“Will she tell Bruce everything I say?”

“Nope! She only has to tell him if we’re going to hurt ourselves or others.” He gave a short chuckle. “More than necessary, I mean.”

Marinette sighed. “But…”

Man, she was really running out of excuses now.

“It’s really the only way they’ll agree, bean.”

He was right, she just didn’t like it. She didn’t agree out loud, that would only make it feel more real. Instead, she curled into his side.

“We should probably head back to my apartment at some point. It’s going to get cold soon.”

“Yeah, probably,” he agreed quietly.

They didn’t move from where they were for a long time, content to lean into each other for warmth.

And, when they woke up the next morning, they decided to pretend they didn’t notice the giant sign over their necks that declared them under Rogue protection.

~~~

Taglist

@comet-kun @thatonecroc @trippingovermyfeet @swiftie-miraculer13 @nickristus-dreamer @moongoddesskiana @i-am-ironic @indecisive-mess-named-me @thebooki3h @insane-fangirl-of-everything @deepestobservationwombat @theymakeupfairies @fatimaabbasrizvi @clumsy-owl-4178 @fanofalittletoomuch @iamablinkmarvelarmy @nathleigh @lilkymilky @silvergold-swirl @dino-lovingreen-angel @thestressmademedoit @kissa-chan @ladybug-182 @alysrose-starchild @t1dwarrior-of-earth @spyofthenightcourt @rowanrouge @nik-nak-3 @momothefemur @aestheticnpoetic @labschaos @our-preciousss @mochinek0 @eliza-bich @mythogaychic @severelyenchantedwonderland @sashakoi @smolplantmum @bluesimani @tropestropestropes @kitsunebell @keepingupwiththemalfoys @sassakitty @2confused-2doanything @too0bsessedformyowngood @all-mights-asscheeks @demonicbusiness @meg-an-ace @fantasiame @qualitypeacepainter @multplelifes @kokotaru

<3

#timinette #timari #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #maribat #satisfied #tim drake #red robin

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #371

“some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses”

What is one song you feel as though you sing particularly well, if any? Probably none, lol. What was the last lengthy task you completed? I love these unique questions I've had lately, but damn, are a lot of my answers "I don't know," lol. What type of photography do you enjoy looking at? Do you take any photos yourself, and if so, what types of things do you prefer to photograph? I love floral and wildlife photography. Landscapes, too, and I have a great fondness for boudoir for reasons I've mentioned in previous surveys. I like taking nature pictures, mainly. Have you ever gone out for the Black Friday shopping rush? Did you enjoy it, or not so much? Or, what’s the busiest shopping day you’ve ever experienced? Hell no, that's a hard pass. I'm sure the busiest shopping experience I've had was like at the mall or something around Christmas, idk. Do you enjoy reading diaries or stories you wrote from when you were younger, or does it embarrass you? If you’ve kept them, was there a particular reason for hanging on to them so long? NO. I DON'T. BECAUSE I CRINGE INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION. I keep a lot of it for memory's sake, but goddamn, is it always embarrassing. What would you say was your first true hobby? What about your most recently developed one? Um... the first thing I really remember is video games. I played Spyro like, a LOT, along with other childhood games. I was just really into gaming at a young age. Is there one thing that throws off your mood more than others, whether it be lack of sleep, lack of food, heat/cold, etc., and when was the last time you felt especially cranky? THE HEAT. I become so irritable. I was needlessly cranky a few days ago for whatever reason. What kinds of things are you likely to complain about? My legs hurting, more than anything. Also being hot. Do you like to put any extra effort into your food in terms of presentation, or do you prefer to just put it on a plate and eat it as it is, no frills? Ha, no. It's not gonna look fancy in my stomach, so whatever. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No, and I very much doubt I ever would. Are there any candles in the room with you? No. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No, but I tell her all the time that dainty nature tattoos would be THE most beautiful on her. When was the last time someone called you pretty? I think when I last updated my Facebook profile picture. Do you like the color pink? It's my favorite! Does your cell phone have a case on it? What color? It came with this thin purple one. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Moon Baby" by Godsmack. Ever kissed someone your parents hated? No. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say? I wouldn't *say* anything, I'd break down sobbing. Would you feel hurt if your last ex was in a relationship? No. Have you ever had to choose between two people? Yes: Jason and Juan. Juan and I dated for less than a day not all that long before Jason and I got together, and Juan was pretty upset. He was nooot a fan of Jason due to a shared ex-girlfriend. Jason, meanwhile, just didn't care. What is the saddest thing that has happened to you? What about the happiest? I think the saddest thing has to be my breakup, especially when you know just how madly in love I was with him and had endless trust that he would never leave, and then he was gone in a flash one night. The happiest is, in turn, my recovery from said split. I found strength in myself and felt hope for once as I learned coping mechanics and got a psychiatrist that was worth a shit in my partial hospitalization program. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? *shrug* Do you have a YouTube channel? Yes. I don't make videos anymore, though. Were you happy as a teenager? God no, my depression was awful. What do you do for your mom on Mother’s Day? Sigh. Not enough. I just tell her happy Mother's Day, give her a hug, and try to be an extra good daughter. Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? No. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I can do it alone (but only have once), but I like to bring my mom with me still. Would you have sex with someone of the same gender as you? I'm bi, so. Have you ever had a concussion? One or two, I can't remember. How many dresses do you own? Zero. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Yeah, my friend Summer has a darling leopard gecko. I want oneeeeee. They look so damn derpy and adorable, and their chill demeanor is something I really like in pets. Would you ever go bear hunting? No. Absolutely never. Do you prefer drawing or painting? Any particular reason why? Drawing, for sure. At least you can erase stuff, and paint is just so messy. Do you like raisins? NO THANKS MAN. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you forget to flip the page of your calendar at the start of each month? I don't have a calendar. Are you racist to any race? Nope. Have you ever intentionally hurt an animal? I've given cats and dogs a small pop on the rear, but nothing more than that. I hate doing even that, but with the language barrier and all, sometimes it's the only way to get your point across. Do you own any autographed memorabilia? No. Have you ever dated a twin? No. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? Oreos. Have you ever considered being a cop? Yeah, no thank you. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Maybe Logan. I thought it was very emotional and just overall a good movie. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: MY MOM. Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: uhhhhhhhh Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Dancing, maybe. Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips, for sure. It's certainly not my preference, but I can drink flat soda. Who’s the hottest guy and hottest girl out there? M-Mark Fischbach. :') Girl... let's seeeeee... maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy. GodDAMN what a WOMAN. ❤_❤ Do you ever trip over your pets? Yes, because he just looooves to follow me at my feet. What’s your relationship like with your exes? Aaron, Juan, Jason, and Tyler: nonexistent. Sara and Girt: great. What was the last thing you turned down doing? Going to my nephew's t-ball game. I always feel bad when I say no when Mom asks if I wanna go... but at least the kids know I just don't handle the heat well. Are you a party animal? Faaaaar from it, my friend. Who are you the biggest fan of? m-m-m-mMARKIPLIER You’re DJ for the night - first track to get everyone going? Uhhhh maybe "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K.? Have you ever been hit on by a pushy person? I think Juan was kinda pushy, but not to an uncomfortable degree. He respected what I felt. What accent do you find attractive? Most attractive, British. But I also really like Scottish and Irish. Also French accents in women I tend to find very beautiful-sounding. Have you ever had feelings for a friend's partner? Yes. What’s your favorite thing to do that doesn’t cost much? Drive around take pictures, maybe? Let's, uh, ignore the whole gas crisis in this answer. When in danger are you more fight or flight? Flight. Do you feel self conscious about a certain body part? *gestures to entire body* Have you been accused of being manipulative? Yes. Have you ever considered violence to solve your problem? No. Are you romantic? I personally think so. If you are a smoker, how long does a pack typically last you? If you aren’t a smoker, does anybody you are close to smoke, & if so, are you against the fact that they’re a smoker? I don't smoke. To answer the next part, yes, like my dad and stepmom. I wish they would stop so badly, like it's literally going to kill them both. Do you have more subscribers or more people that you are subscribed to? On YouTube? I'm definitely subscribed to waaay more people. Is there anything that has been drilled into your brain since you were young & you finally decided to stop listening to? How did it feel once you decided to listen to yourself over what you were told? Yes: "finish your plate." Teaching your kid to eat beyond their comfort can be very destructive, and I'm glad I never stuck to that once Mom stopped enforcing it. If you are currently in a relationship, what is one thing that seems to be unique or different about your relationship with this person, compared to other relationships in general? If you are currently single, is this more of a choice or is it more just the way things are going, not really something you chose? If you are neither “single” or officially in a relationship, what are your feelings on your current situation? I'm single, and it's just how it is. I know realistically I wouldn't tell what felt like the right person no, but it really is probably better that I stay single and keep figuring my shit out. Think of somebody famous that you have a lot of respect for. What is something that you really admire them for? To name just one thing I admire in Mark, his relentless "I'm going to do this no matter what" attitude is very inspirational to me. He lets like... n-o-t-h-i-n-g get in his way. If somebody were to leave a harsh comment on a survey you took, judging you on one of your opinions, how would you react? I'd get pretty self-conscious, just because I in general take judgment quite poorly. I obsess over "what if they're right, and you're just an idiot?". Are there any other sites you use to find surveys to take? What sites do you use? I mainly use Tumblr and LiveJournal, but in times of great desperation, I'll use Bzoink and just google surveys as well, haha. Have you sent or received any friend requests on Facebook lately? Not sent, but I got one from someone I had no mutual friends with the other day. Safe to say I declined it. Can you recall the last time you turned down an offer, of any kind? Uhhhhh no. Which fruit would you say you eat the most often? Apples. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman has been to the vet once to get neutered (and I think shots?). I took Venus many years ago because I thought she had a respiratory infection. Thank god, she didn't. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at pet stores? The reptiles, snakes in particular. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a restaurant? Like, over an hour. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? Cavities and braces, yes. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? Probably polar bears. Like especially here, it gets so hot in the summer, and the poor things sometimes only have a bit of snow in the shade. Like... they can't be very happy. Especially when you see those videos of them playing in snow, and then you think about situations like our zoo here... ugh. What kinds of artifacts fascinate you? I really think old figurines built with like clay and stuff are cool. But all artifacts I find to be very intriguing. It's so interesting to see that the desire to create has always been with us as a species. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''killing in the name of'' by rage against the machine

[willmelon]

i don’t usually do this but i feel Compelled to do a liveblog/review of Mouth Dreams so here goes

Please don’t read this if you haven’t heard the album yet as it’ll spoil Everything

(i’ll admit the idea came to me After i listened to Just a Baby so these first ones are gonna be relistened reviews)

first we got Yahoo. what can i say about this song? neil starts off Strong with incredibly sustained notes and just one phrase, in typical neil style. and he makes it work in so many different ways! honestly didn’t expect myself to get so attached so fast but that’s just the way his magic works ig. when the hoooooooos harmonise it almost brings tears to the eyes. i would love to see a group of choristers singing this with another guy on an electric keyboard. what a cold open. 9/10

of course then we go on to the titular track, the dimension of sound, the dimension of imagination, the dimension of doors. rod serling narrates the intro in his traditional monotone as the warbling twilight zone theme plays in the background. i tell ya i was actually Screaming when the track finished and he dropped the title! it may not be a song per se, sort of like Blockbuster from Mouth Moods, a ‘filler track’ if you will, but the effort in those fifty seconds cannot be ignored. it just goes to show once again how Good he is at what he does. 6.5/10

oh lawd, my favourite so far, Spongerock. reading the title i had absolutely No idea what to expect. the goofy goober song from the movie? winner takes all from band geeks? i was pleasantly surprised to find myself tapping out queen’s distinctive boom boom CLAP as the song progressed, and i was in complete Hysterics the whole way through, chanting along with the kids as the pirate encouraged me to sing louder. it’s such a beautiful fit the way they mesh together, and it’s one of those mashups that you listen to and think ‘why has nobody done this before?’ but neil is on a higher plane of existence than us and Knows where it’s at. you’re never the same after you’ve listened to Spongerock. 7.5/10

Just a Baby, where i stopped to begin this thing, is a melancholy song, which i’m not usually a fan of. i admit i don’t know the original song so i kept quiet until the last chorus or two. it’s the yang to the yin of Wow Wow from Moods, another sentence-mixer that was like a full Bop and barely gave you time to catch your breath. in Just a Baby you begin to empathise with the singer as he regales confusing times of his constant youth, including the time his mother (a train) shot a man in cold blood. it’s a powerful ballad, and it’s got a tasteful amount of justin bieber adding backing vocals to the chorus. i may have to deduct a few points cos the lyrics are gonna be hard af to remember. 7/10

ok next up we got Superkiller. this one’s totally blind! i’m. ehhhhh okay not diggin this one very much. ok that say something once line being repeated was comedy gold but talking heads are just like. kinda tuneless tbh. i’m glad he’s trying to lassoo it together with u can’t touch this but it’s kinda falling short tbh. i wouldn’t skip it but it’s not as memorable as the previous ones. 5/10

starting Get Happy. i’m not gonna lie i think i Know what this is, there are only so many options after all. i predict it’s a mix of “get dancin’” by disco-tex and the sex-o-lettes and “happy” by bahrrel williams, and i really hope that ain’t the case cos i Love the first one but despise the latter. oh well let’s see if he can pull it off. sounds like village green by the kinks so far lol uhhhh i have no idea what to make of this. okay i feel like i’m gonna like this after all. hey it’s got memorable lyrics at least! is it gonna get faster? or just more bassy? yknow maybe i was too critical at the start, but i had no idea what to expect. this is a feel-good pop song and it’s definitely making me feel happier than i was when i was listening to Superkiller. 7/10

Ribs? wtf do i expect from a song called Ribs lmao another song i’ve never heard of IH IT’S EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE TH WORLD OH YEEEEEEEEES omg i Love this song i sing it to myself when i’m walkin my dog cos his little paws click-clack on the pavement to the exact rhythm of the song omg i’m in Love! another one with odd lyrics but i think after a Lot of repeat listening i’ll be able to properly croon along to this one omg! it reminds me of Best from Mouth Silence in that they’re both about products, only instead of folgers in your cup it’s about chili’s baby back ribs omg neil you’re Perfect! how come more advertisers haven’t contacted you for a product placement deal?? 7.5/10

next we got My Mouth. welcome to? who knows let’s hit play. ooooh minor key. is this a real song? it sounds like oney singing a cover of something. oh That’s the gimmick? 2:30 long i hope there’s something else tbh cos otherwise it’s gonna get pretty thin pretty fast. mm not a fan. the weakest so far imo especially after Ribs blew me away. definitely a bad dream. 3.5/10

Aerolong don’t fail me now! okay see This is how you do a mashup. I DON’T MISS YOU BABAY AND I DO WANNA MISS A THING THAT’S GOLD!! this is just a song about saying bye to your ex lmao i love it. wish it was longer though. 6/10

Sleepin’ here we go! ok in the youtube version the first half of this song is just silence so that wasn’t fun. gee this one’s only moderately better than My Mouth i’m feeling very shortchanged. 4/10

what to expect from Aamoorree? hopefully this one’s another jam but...okay i’m likin this one. it’s Fun and isn’t trying too hard! it’s just a drunk dean martin singing about pizza pie on karaoke night, what more could you ask for lol. 6/10

Where Is My Mom? by the p-p-p-pooo-oo-ooo-oooool of course. i don’t recognise the other song but it’s decent. i’ve listened to slowed-down songs before (the sludgefest chipmunks albums lately) and this one’s kinda ok. not a fan of the ending but points for effort ig. 5.5/10

Fredhammer ay? might there be some peter gabriel in there? undoubtedly. yup there it is lol ok now bring in the flintstones? oh ig that’s fred durst? mm not totally feeling it so far but censoring he** was funny lmao HEY THERE’S SEINFELD i’m wheezin that was a good way to end a song, well done neil. 6.5/10

here goes Limp Wicket. i’m on the edge of my seat. and Again i’m disappointed. is this a bunch of ewoks singing some kind of star wars song? or is it jarjar? either way this is Not a good song. it probably wasn’t before he mashed it up but this wasn’t an improvement. bringing in Fredhammer didn’t help this song much at all, in fact i think it brought both songs down actually. last one was a 7/10 but i Have to dock it points now that it’s a two-parter. as for this one? i’m being generous cos the limp bizkit song was good. 1/10

Cannibals runs for 4 minutes. PLEASE don’t let this be a repeat of the last one. i get that miners can’t dig up gold every time but don’t just show up with a bunch of rocks and iron pyrites yknow i’m just gonna start. i don’t want to be angry at this album. i recognise that sound in the bg! from a cyriak vid i think. thx comin in. loooooooong drone. ugh UGH there are Too many lucid dreams on this album. starting to regret liveblogging this cos i Loved the other three mouth albums. this one’s just falling flat again and again. 3/10

here comes The Outsiders. there is NOTHING to say about this. 1.5/10

come on Johnny. okay that got a laugh out of me, not many songs start with a booing crowd like that, is that meta? wouldn’t put it past him tbh. ah i’ll give it a 5/10, for a kinda filler song it wasn’t too bad.

Closerflies, this has gotta be gold. PLEASE. intro’s goin on for a little too long...mm having never heard the original version of closer i gotta admit i thought it’d be faster, like the one used in Rollercloser in Silence. this version seems very sloppy and sluggish, especially the bassline. 3/10

Nightmovin’ i’m not expecting much OH good intro oh YES now here we go. this is a good one, it’s got clear lyrics and a catchy tune, i’m liking this one more and more by the second. cuts off weird but it’s going into the next one. so i’m gonna leave the rating out of this one and see how it is after the next one.

Whitehouse i’m holding my breath. mm it’s Good but not great tbh. criminal that the last one was half as long as this one. think i’m gonna give both of these songs a 5/10 i doubt they’ll be anyone’s favourites. the title is a nice little joke too i respect that.

Wah! what’s neil’s obsession with using wannabe as a source lmao! it’s another decent one but nothing memorable again. 5/10

Pee Wee Inc i’m expecting big things. good intro I’M IN LOVE okay this is Much better than i imagined it’d be. did he use the radio edit of feel good inc? this is a heck of a way to bring it back to the gold stuff and i wouldn’t be surprised if this is what neil’s head sounds like all the time. 7/10

on to 10,000 Spoons. not sure what to expect from the title. okay this is a Nice one i think. throwback to the likes of Just a Baby with the two songs and the sentence mixing and it’s Good. and really 10,000 spoons is So ironic anyway, don’t you think? 7/10

oh another song called Mouth Dreams? an extro? that was Weird lol ok the intro i wasn’t too keen on, def not as much as the intro, but i got to appreciate it as it went on. like Rlly appreciate it i was beginning to reflect on what a journey i’d been through tonight, especially writing it all down. felt very poetic. and then WHAM, out of nowhere, after being gone for 23 songs, all-star came Back and How! gotta give this one a 7.5/10

keep the train rolling Brithoven! i can hear faint bits of instruments in britney’s song in the back of her audio which sound like a mistake but knowing neil.......yah lmao. this song’s kinda like Promenade (Satellite Pictures at an Exhibition) from Mouth Sounds, i liked what i heard. very nice. 6.5/10

the final song. we’re gonna be hit one more time for Ain’t! and i have NO idea what i’m in for! in the hall of the mountain king eh? is this like a way of looping around to the first song of the first album with classical music? ok the snoring’s a nod to Bustin i’m sure lmao funny anyway. i thought i heard a hey now in there but i must be going nuts. wouldn’t call it a grand finale but it is what it is. 5/10

now the question that must be asked - was Mouth Dreams trying to make a point? was there a reasons so many songs were of lower-quality than previous albums? perhaps it’s just a matter of taste, or perhaps it’s as rod said back on track two, that this album is a doorway into another dimension, and the further you progress, the more mind-rattling, brain-melting concepts you come across. the album gets an average of 5.5 which is kinda disappointing. don’t think i’ll be listening to the whole thing again. thanks for reading!

#mouth dreams #neil cicierega #liveblog #review

[writingsbychelle]

Get Ready For The Teasing

Summary: Getting drunk at another Supernatural convention you find yourself in the bed of your co-star, Alexander Calvert, the next day.

Pairing: Alex Calvert x Reader

Request: by @patrickstumpownsmyass 

Warnings: uhhhh...mentions of alcohol and pranking

Word Count: 2.043

    “And now please welcome the baby on our show. She’s been part of the cast since she was a child and now, several years later, she’s a grown up and-“

    “Woah, calm down, Rob, you’re just gonna end up crying... Please give a round of applause for (Y/F/N)!” 

    The audience erupted into laughter while clapping their hands as you stepped onto the stage, giving Richard and Rob a quick hug before sitting down on one of the stools, Jared and Jensen to your left and Alex and Misha to your right. You slightly raised your hand, waving at the people in front of you before Alex handed you a microphone, a teasing smile on his face since he knew how often you tended to forget grabbing one. Sending a grateful smile in his direction you turned to the first person that was waiting to ask a question.

    Several minutes and questions later you were laughing while Alex told his story about Jared’s prank on him during a scene in which he was supposed to act sad and emotional but Jared ended up playing porn on the laptop he had placed before him.

    “So yea, that was pretty embarrassing…what was the second part of your question again?” Alex asked politely after telling his story.

    “I was wondering if anyone has taken a pity in you yet with all the pranking going on,” the girl giggled.

    “Oh, yea, mostly Misha and (Y/N). I think Misha mainly because he knows what I’m going through and (Y/N) because she feels bad for me…”

    “I gotta say I only started feeling bad for you after that porn prank. Before that, I was secretly helping them prank you.” 

    You sheepishly looked up at your close friend, his mouth opening in shock before he turned and deadpanned at the audience.

    “Do you guys see what I have to deal with every day?” he asked in fake horror before you clasped a hand over his mouth.

    “Oh shush, you like it, you just don’t want to admit it,” you winked at him, some of the fans hollering at the two of you, being used to your flirty back and forth.

    “Alex clearly enjoys it or he wouldn’t constantly hang out with you.”

    The fans freaked out even more after Jensen said those words, heat radiating off your cheeks since he kind of revealed how much time Alex and you actually spend together off set. 

     If you were to say you didn’t have a crush on the Canadian actor would’ve been a lie, you were head over heels in love with him and there was no way denying it. You just had no clue how to act on those feelings, not wanting to ruin your friendship and make things awkward on set but you also desperately wanted to be with him. However, for the sake of your friendship and to keep things comfortable you stayed silent, only keeping the flirting going on between the two of you.

   “Anyways,” you cleared your throat and turned to the other side of the big room, “next question? What’s your name, darling?”

   “Hi, my name is April and I was just wondering how you’re dealing with having someone close to your age on set now, (Y/N)?”

   “Hello, April,” you smiled at the young woman before your eyes drifted away slightly to think about her question.

   “She loves it.” 

   Your head wiped towards Alex, a smirk on his lips and a smug look covering his face.

   “You know what? I hate it,” you turned to the audience, acting like working with the young man was the worst thing you ever had to endure.

   “No, but all jokes aside, it’s nice having someone close to your age on set. I mean Rob already said it while introducing me, I’ve been on this show when I was basically still a child and nearly everyone else on the cast is married and has kids so you sometimes feel a bit left out even though I know it’s no one's intention. But since Alex joined the cast it’s a lot nicer because he actually gets what I’m talking about and we do hang out a lot. And now that he’s also joining us at cons it’s even better, I mean look at how good he’s doing for his first convention!”

   The fans broke out in loud cheering as Alex put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him which only spurred the fans on even more.

   “Alright, last question, guys. I know, I know, it’s sad but we’ll be back soon, promise.” Richard walked towards the right side of the stage and pointed at the guy standing there, prompting him to ask his question.

   “Hey guys, my question for you is: Are there any rituals you have at conventions, anything you’re repeating at every one? Sorry for excluding you in my question, Alex.”

   “It’s alright, man. I’ll have plenty of time to get into some routines and thanks to your question I get to find out what these guys do all the time.”

   You felt a pair of eyes on you and as you turned away from your crush you saw Misha looking at you with a mischievous twinkling in his eyes.

   “No, Misha, please,” you shook your head at the older man, not speaking in the microphone as you begged him to not release your unhealthy habit.

   “You know…(Y/N) here as probably the best habit out of all of us and let me tell you, it’ll completely twist your image of her…” Misha turned to you as you looked down on the ground, mentally preparing yourself for the following words.

   “Do you wanna tell them or should I?” 

   Looking up you saw at least a shimmer of sympathy on his face so you decided just tell everyone yourself.

   “Let me, I can at least make it seem less embarrassing. Okay, so…please don’t judge me for this guys, I know very well it’s everything but healthy. Alright so basically, at every convention, on the last evening we all go and get some drinks and I somehow developed a habit of getting…yea of getting shit-faced drunk. There’s no other way to say it. But I’m lucky enough to never really get a hangover, I just need something to eat and a bit of water and I’m fine and my lovely”- you shot Jensen, Jared and Misha teasing look -“friends always take care of me if I end up not feeling that well or anything.”

   “We do take care of her, guys. She’s like a little sister to us,” Jared rested his arms on your shoulders, emphasising on ‘little’ since you were significantly smaller than him. Then again, everyone looked small compared to the literal giant.

   Hours later you were sat at the bar of the hotel, laughing, talking and mostly drinking with your friends.

   “And here I thought you were an absolute lightweight,” Alex chuckled after you sat down with a new drink in your hand.

   “I never said I wasn’t, I just have nothing to regret the next morning.”

   “Nothing?” he teased, the corners of his mouth twitching which prompted you to lean in closer.

   “That depends on who I spend the night with,” you whispered the words in his ear before leaning back and winking at your slightly flustered costar.

   “Well let’s find out how much you’re gonna regret this night in the morning, shall we?” Alex brought his glass up to his lips, dimples showing on his face as he did.

   Bright lights woke you up, your head pounding slightly as you rubbed your eyes and sat up. Strangely the room you were in looked nothing like your hotel room, obviously the furniture was the same but it was way more messy than yours. 

   Confused you slowly got up from the bed, finding yourself completely dressed save for your shoes which stood at the end of the bed when suddenly the door to the bathroom opened, revealing a very shirtless Alexander Calvert with a toothbrush hanging in the corner of his mouth.

   “Oh, you’re awake. I put an ibuprofen and a bottle of water on the bedside table,” he said before turning to the sink in the bathroom to rinse out his mouth.

   “What happened?” You swallowed the pill and washed it down with a big gulp of water just to sit back down on the bed and looking at the man.

   “Well…you got, as you put it ‘shit-faced drunk’ and I volunteered to bring you to your room but you refused to sleep alone and couldn’t find your keycard so I just took you into my room.”

   “Oh god, I hope I didn’t do anything embarrassing…” you mumbled rubbing your temples as your headache slowly faded away, your stomach grumbling slightly to remind you to eat something soon.

   “Let’s just say you say a lot of interesting things when you’re drunk,” Alex sat down beside you, a sympathetic smile on his face.

   “Like what?”

   “Like the fact that you’re, and I’m quoting you here, ‘absolutely and utterly in love with me and looking at my perfect face and not being able to kiss me can be equalised with torture’…” he trailed off, rubbing his neck before looking at you, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment.

   “I…”- you took a deep breath after swallowing the lump forming in your throat -“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us and I can totally understand if you need some distance but please don’t ignore me or anything, I don’t think I could bear that, you’re too important in my life an-“ 

   Alex pressed a finger onto your lips, silencing you.

   “You talk too much, (Y/N),” he sighed before leaning in and connecting your lips, your eyes widening in shock before you closed them, kissing him back. Alex pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against yours. 

   You wanted more of him, needed more of him, so you leaned forward, your lips crashing together as you started to lose yourself in the kiss. Your body instantly relaxed, his hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer while your arms wrapped around his neck, your fingers tangling in his damp hair as you slid onto his lap. Alex quickly got up, your legs wrapping around his hips as he spun you around, pressing you into the mattress, his arms keeping him from falling on top of you. His tongue traced your bottom lip, begging for entrance which you granted more than gratefully. Your hands wandered from his hair to his back, pulling at his shirt as you completely forgot the world around you until you heard the door to Alex’s hotel room slam open, causing him to jump away from you. 

   Too late, Jensen, Jared and Misha had seen what had been going on before they interrupted you.

   “Uhhhh…morning?” you cleared your throat while you sat up, adjusting your shirt.

   “We’re just gonna pretend we didn’t see that happen,” Jensen said slowly, clearing his throat before a smirk slowly formed on his lips.

   “Yea…that saves us a lot of awkwardness,” Alex smoothed his shirt down before helping you stand up from the bed, his fingers intertwining with yours.

   “Breakfast?” Jared offered, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder.

   “Good idea. Let’s go.” 

   You followed your friends out of the room into the elevator at the end of the hallway, more than ready to finally get some food inside you.

   “You hopefully know that we’re never going to drop this, like ever again?” Misha turned to around to face Alex and you after he pressed the button next to the doors of the lift.

   “Afraid so,” you mumbled, being aware of just how much teasing you’d have to endure the next few months, especially when you’d get back to film the next season of the show. 

   But you were willing to go through all that if that meant you could be together with Alex, whose hand squeezed yours slightly before giving you a reassuring smile. Yes, with him by your side you were ready to face all the teasing that would get thrown at you.

--

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED!

Tag List

Everyone: @marvelsbunch @trees-and-ink @heartbreaker6995 @not-satan-souls @ohitswanda @stardustbooknerd 

#alex calvert x reader #alex calvert imagine #alexander calvert x reader #alexander calvert imagine #supernatural cast imagine #supernatural cast x reader #*writing #alexander calvert

[rnainframe]

every! single! one!

can you tell my mood dropped hard like halfway through

angel; do you have a nickname?at the moment lars is pretty much just a nickname because my mom won’t let me get a name change

awe; how old are you?19!

baby; favorite color?red!

bloop; spirit animal?that’s not a very good term iirc but i guess wolf?

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?book: wolves of the beyond is very near and dear to memovie: the world’s end, the thing 1982, the incredibles, deadpoolsong: i have... so many

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

her name is baby, she’s dressed up, and i still sleep with her to this day,

breeze; most precious childhood memory?sitting behind my dad and watching as he plays games on the psx and gamegear, i mainly remember ristar and sonic on the gamegear and silent hill on the psx

bright; mermaids or fairies?both!!!

bubbles; do you have a best friend?@aceiou @gruvu

buttercup; showers or baths?showers, submerging my body freaks me out

butterfly; dream destination?a road trip to visit all my frands

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?spiritual, mainly superstitious

calm; favorite scent?a kind of cologne my dad used to wear

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?my brain reminding me of my deep-seated desire to reconnect with an asshole i used to crush on despite me wanting to bury it for good

charming; have you ever been in love?yes

cozy; eye/hair color?i think the name of my hair color is light ash brown? people confuse me for ginger and blond though somehow

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?80s/90s, also the aesthetics of the 20s~50s

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?succulents, roses, lilies

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?clothes, something useless from my sister, a panic attack

cutie pie; most precious item you own?baby, my phone, my sketchbook, a paw print from sadie the people that put her to sleep sent us

cutsie; what makes you happy?i’m too numb rn to really know

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.i think the last time i got to go anywhere with friends and without my mom involved was last summer

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?like my dad, where people try to remember him fondly while ignoring the glaring bad shit about him, hhhH

daylight; favorite album of all time?smoke + mirrors from imagine dragons, in silico from pendulum, no culture from mother mother

dear; zodiac sign?sagittarius on the traditional zodiac, ophiuchus on the updated zodiac, my animal is the rabbit

delightful; concerts or museums?museums, concerts get me overloaded unless it’s a band i really like

dimples; have you ever written a letter?yeah

dobby; dream job?i don’t know anymore

doll; how do you like to dress?comfortably, ideally masculine

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?my dad haunts my house

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?i wanna get either an eye coming out of my shoulder of a shamrock in memory of my dad, something simple and space (and/or wolf) related in white ink, uhhhhmaybe the pokemon league symbol somewhere

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?they’re out there

euphoric; talk about someone you love.ace is adorable!!!! i love them so much, their voice, their face, their fashion, their art, their writing!!!!!!

fairy; do you have a pet?ginger morkie named rusty, i wanna get another lab sometime

fluffy; ocean or mountain?mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?sitting outside at night when it’s snowy, it’s so quiet and magical feeling

froglet; are you a good plant owner?unfortunately no

garden; how many languages do you know?one, trying to learn german or danish or irish

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?aceiou, gruvu, bunjywunjy, bogleech, weirdmarioenemies, uuhhhh

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?either space or red+black glitch stuff

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?when they’re nice

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourselftoo numb for that rn

heart; silk or lace?silk feels nice to touch but i wouldn’t wear either

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?coffee, cappuccino mixed w/ hot chocolate and a lot of creamertea, raspberry or peach iced tea

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?birds don’t judge you

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?white noise - the sound of a fan, the sound of rain, etc

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?rain, especially stormy

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?every day is a weekend. i have no life. i am rotting

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?i wheeze or silently laugh. i used to have an ugly loud laugh

kinky; do you blush easily?i blush when embarrassed or crying

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?spending every moment loving on the person i’m with, every day being like the first day we met

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?sunset to night

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?mother mother

love; what is your favorite season and why?autumn. it’s not as depressing as summer

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?i’ve never had macarons, but i love bunny tracks and peanut butter cup and bear creek caramel and

magic; what are five flaws you have?you think i can narrow it down to just five

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?warm pastels, warm neutrals, warm and cool darks

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?idk but i got it

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?wandering around mainstreet and old town st charles, eating at rt weilers, getting ice cream at riverside sweets, then having sodas from the old soda shoppe, ideally in autumn

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?sleeping, wasting away on the internet, the likes

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?don’t get attached, everything will go bad someday

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?baking is easier but i feel more in control when cooking

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?horrible, illegible

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?i used to play the recorder, then the flutei want to learn the guitar but i’m so bad at it that when trying to tune a very expensive guitar i got as a gift when i still had passion for it i broke a string

prinky; how do you relieve stress?i don’t

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?strawberries, raspberries, bananas, pomegranates, pickles, broccoli, tomatoes, pumpkins

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?i can’t focus on reading anymore

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?my dad’s death.

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?my dad’s death.

shine; art or music?i’m not good enough at art to deserve picking it, and i’m an audiophile (not! a! fetish!), so

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?i get too rough without realizing it. rusty probably doesn’t like me. he just licks me and sleeps by me whenever he doesn’t have my mom to love on.

smitten; do you collect anything?bottle caps, can tabs, pokemon merch, empty pill bottles

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?four at the head of my bed (two go unused), one plain blue body pillow to hold, like five other pillows to add pressure to my legs

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?peppermint kisses

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?phone

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?i used to wear necklaces all the time. they all break because of how i stim with them. my mom doesn’t trust anything around my neck anymore

spooky; sunrise or sunset?sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?crashbox, digimon, power rangers, pokemon, total drama

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.my room. 

soothe; digital or vinyl?digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now?read over some of the questions and ask me again

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?can i trust you

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?both

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?too easy

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?they are sensory nightmares

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?edd gould is dead

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?my ability to get completely numb over the dumbest bullshit

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?a bad one

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?nothing so far

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?night owl

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?shapeshifting or invisibility or mind reading

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?ideally i wanna go out but only if i trust whoever i’m with to understand that i burn out fast anymore

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?no

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?i obsessively organize things but am very messy

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?i have no choice, i legally own the house i’m in now. i can’t go anywhere without dragging my mom along. i’m trapped

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?i wish to have good birthdays. they never come true

#anon #answered

[joeybelle]

Oh, how the tables have turned -- Part 3

Clyde Logan x Reader

Inspired by @clyde-prompts: “Some guys are rude and use ableist slurs against Clyde. The reader is with them, and although she feels bad about what’s happening, is too scared to say anything in front of her “friends”. She comes back to the bar a couple nights later to try and show him she’s not a bad person. They get to know each other and fall in love”. Doesn’t fully follow the prompt

Warnings: Language, first person POV, driving under the influence cause I assume everyone does it in that movie, IDK what I’m doing.

Rating: Mature

Setting: Pre-Heist

Tags: @lonelyravenclaw​ @kyloren-supreme-ben​ @onmyknees4steve​ @elsablackswift​ @helloimindelaware​ @mwcritics

A.N: I’ve decided to slice this fic into 3000-ish words parts for people to be able to scroll past it without much annoyance. Pert 3 ended up being much longer than expected, so i had to cut it into two parts somewhere in the middle. It’s not perfect, but you’ll be getting both parts today. When I finish editing. Might take a while. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the story. Feel free to drop me a line anytime or just message me if you wanna squee about Clyde Logan in general.

Rejection is always a tough pill to swallow. It wasn’t the first I’d gotten rejected and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but it still didn’t go down easily. I found myself moping at home the next few days, following what I’d gotten used to calling the ‘series of unfortunate events’ related to Clyde Logan. Not that I had that many alternatives anyway, being a friendless nobody in a small town, but this time it felt self-imposed.

In the meantime I cut the grass in my yard and discovered a few rose bushes that were beautiful, but mean to my hands, I watched how the living room ceiling started leaking one rainy afternoon, signalling a pretty serious hole in the roof, nearly broke my neck going into the basement because there was a missing step I hadn’t seen before; I opened the vodka bottle all by myself and realized that he had been right, drinking alone wasn’t fun at all, but I was doing it anyway to hide my shame; I ate ice cream and binged Netflix shows for the rest of the week.

But there’s a limit to how much time you can spend alone at home before starting to go insane. I reached mine the next weekend and for a moment I considered paying Mellie a visit, but then I remembered the whole Clyde ordeal and I decided against it. I was sure that he’d told her everything and I really didn’t feel like talking about it. It was bad enough that I was beating myself up over it, I didn’t need someone else to rub it in. So, since the Duck Tape was off-limits for obvious reasons, and I didn’t feel like exploring for another bar in the neighbourhood I was left with only one option: the country fair.

I used to really love country fairs and carnivals and all that when I was a teenager, but it was probably because I’d be with my friends and there would be booze and food and we’d just be stupid together. I wasn’t sure I’d find them as charming nowadays, but at least I’d be moping outside, in public, which was an improvement to being secluded in my own home, waiting for another rain to invade the living room through the ceiling. So I showered, dressed like a semi-decent swamp witch and went to the damn thing.

As expected, the country fair didn’t impress me at all but it was a way to kill a few hours while feeling like less of a hermit than usual. I ate something, tested some insanely sweet drinks, and stuffed my face with enough ice cream to endanger my health, so in the end I found myself sitting on a bench, dangerously close to a food coma, with nothing better to do than to watch the crowd. Other people seemed to have way more fun than me. There were couples holding hands, parents with their kids, teenagers in groups visiting attractions and Clyde Logan with a blonde kid attached to his arm. Wait, what?

I have to say, this was the last place I had expected to see Clyde Logan. In my head, country fairs didn’t really fit his style (because I had spoken to him twice and I knew all there was to know about the man, obviously), and I assumed he’d be too busy with the bar to come to one anyway. I remembered that it was pretty early and the bar probably wasn’t open yet, but his presence in my field of vision was still unexpected.

I sighed dramatically and leaned back, arms crossed over my chest. Speak about bad luck, I thought. I came here to avoid him and here he was, swinging a blonde kid on his very toned arm. Actually, I didn’t mind the view. He was distracted by the kid and far enough not to notice my staring, so I indulged in it for a moment. There’s no harm in looking, right? Especially when he was wearing a dark, short-sleeved shirt that seemed at least a size too small, the buttons threatening to give in anytime he flexed his muscles while lifting the little girl in the air. His niece? Maybe. She seemed vaguely familiar, so I assumed she had been part of the onslaught of school kids that were sent to visit the college I worked at. Or maybe she was his kid. I had no way of knowing for sure.

Whatever the case, he looked really good doing it. He was smiling for a change. An open and honest smile lit up his usually somber face, and I just couldn’t look away. I caught myself wishing he would smile at me like that, but then I realized that we were practically strangers and I hadn’t made the best impression the first time we met. And since he clearly rejected me, I had to get over this crush ASAP if I wanted to live peacefully in this town.

The little girl let go of his arm and ran back to a couple that, after a bit of squinting, I recognized to be Jimmy Logan and his sister Mellie. They both looked different—after all it had been more than a decade since I’d last seen them—but not so much that I didn’t recognize them. Jimmy lifted the girl in the air and kissed her, then put her down and looked straight at me with a shit eating grin on his face. The feeling was similar to being punched in the gut. I remembered that in another life I’d dreamed of Jimmy Logan looking at me with a smile, but right now the only thing I felt was panic, so I decided to get the hell out of there before Mellie noticed me and I’d have to be part of a very awkward conversation.

But luck definitely wasn’t on my side today, because the little girl started running towards me yelling ‘Miss’ at the top of her lungs. Oh, now I recognized her: she was the pageant girl. Really smart kid, very bubbly and friendly, talked my ear off during the college tour. Her favourite subject was, of course, pageants.

“Hi!” I said, when she stopped in front of me, grinning from ear to ear. “You must be… uhhh… uhhhh.” Crap. I had been calling her pageant girl in my head for so long that I’d forgotten her name.

“Sadie!” she helpfully reminded me.

“Sadie, right. How are you today?”

“Good. Daddy brought me to the fair to see the auctioneers. And later uncle Clyde will win me a unicorn.” I did my best not to steal a glance at Clyde at the mention of his name, not wanting to invite any more attention towards me. Hopefully I’d be able to get out of here before the adults ganged up on me.

“Awesome!” I said, panic clearly noticeable in my voice, because Jimmy Logan was rapidly approaching (despite his visible limp) with Mellie following closely. “It was nice seeing you today, Sadie, but I have to go now. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your unicorn.”

“Aw, leaving already?” She looked genuinely sad and I felt bad for her, but I felt even worse for myself, so I had to go.

“Yeah, leaving already? Without even saying hello?” Jimmy caught up to us before I was able to disappear, so I put on my most believable fake smile and hoped for the best. “Come on, don’t be a stranger, Baby,” he said, pulling me into a hug.

“Well, I kinda thought I was,” I mumbled, but returned the hug. He seemed like a nice person, plus I’d held him on a pedestal for so many years that I could indulge in a hug.

“Daddy, why are you calling her baby?” Sadie aske, giggling.

“Cause that’s her nickname,” he said, ruffling her hair. He explained to her that I’d been called baby ever since I was little, but she had to be polite and call me by my real name. The kid giggled again and I mouthed ‘I hate it’ which made her laugh harder, before turning to face her dad once again.

“I am surprised you know that. I lived under the impression that you had no idea who I was,” I said, going to hug his sister. “Hi Mellie, long time no see.” In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut and pretended we were at least acquaintances. And although I knew it could be interpreted that way, I wasn’t bitter that he never acknowledged me in my teens—after all, it was just puppy love and it had been a decade since then—but I was curious what had prompted this sudden display of familiarity. If anything, I would have expected Mellie to come alone to say hi.

“Hiya, sweetheart. It’s good to have you back.” She warmly returned my hug.

“What do you mean I had no idea who you were? You’ve been coming to my games since you were twelve and cheered louder than the whole cheerleading squad.” That was true. “How could I not know my biggest fan?”

“So you what, ignored me on purpose?” I said, arching an eyebrow.

“Well, it’s not like I did it on purpose,” he said and laughed. His laugh was still the same as I remembered, loud and contagious. “But my brother here had the biggest crush on you and I just didn’t wanna make him more jealous.” Well, this was unexpected.

Clyde had conveniently stayed out of my line of sight, keeping his distance, but now I turned to look at him. Never in my life had I seen anyone blush so furiously in a matter of seconds, his whole face even his ears becoming a deep shade of red. He was glaring at Jimmy who seemed really unfazed by it.

“Is that so?” I pressed, feigning innocence, but deep inside me there was a little devil laughing maniacally. I mean, I was aware that it wasn’t very nice of me, but I was feeling a tiny bit of petty satisfaction knowing that I wasn’t the only one embarassed by the whole situation. Misery loves company.

“Yeah, he only ever came to my games to see you cheer,” Jimmy said, same shit eating grin plastered on his face, seeming completely oblivious to his brother’s discomfort.

I smiled back but wonder what Jimmy’s motive was. Talking to me out of the blue, after never acknowledging me before, snitching on his brother in a matter of seconds. I knew he was insanely loyal to his family, so why sell him now?

On the whole, the situation was beyond comical. Jimmy was grinning, Clyde seemed set on killing him with a glare, Sadie attached to his arm again asking ‘Is that true, uncle Clyde’ over and over again until he finally mumbled something that sounded like ‘It was a long time ago’. He looked at me like a deer (or a moose) caught in the headlights and I could feel my own cheeks burning. I was in hell.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?” I asked Mellie, who stood next to me, arms crossed and an amused smile playing on her face.

“‘Cause he’s a bit of a coward and you were infatuated with my other brother,” she kindly explained.

“Right.” Made sense. I still felt like something that I should have known about back then— who knows, I might have liked him back—or you know, forever hold your silence type of thing. But knowing this now explained a lot of things.

Now that the petty satisfaction that I had felt for embarrassing him had died down a little bit, I understood why Clyde rejected me and didn’t seem to react to my flirting. If someone I had been crushing on in my teens showed up on day, insulted me or trampled on my insecurities then tried flirting with me I would have been much less gracious in rejecting them than Clyde had been. Yes, it had been more than a decade since highschool, and I was pretty sure his crush on me was dead and buried (like the one I used to have on Jimmy), but it was something that could potentially still hurt after years. So once again I was flooded by guilt.

“Well, it was… uhh… fun meeting you guys, but I have to head back now,” I said, getting ready to bail. Enough embarrassment for a day. Served me right for wanting to get out of the safety of my home. Never again.

“Come on, we’ve just met and you wanna leave already?” Mellie said with a disappointed look on her face.

“It’s not that, I just have some things to do at home,” I tried excusing myself. “Give me your phone number and we can hang out another time,” I said fishing my phone out of my pocket.

“The things will still be there tomorrow, but you’re never getting back today,” Jimmy said with a wink.

“Wow, who knew my brother was a philosopher,” Mellie arched an eyebrow at him. I laughed.

“Please, Miss,” Sadie latched onto my hand, pulling me towards the booths. “Daddy said I’ll get to be your guide today, show you around the fair. Pleaaase.” How could you say no to a kid? Big-eyed, freckled, and more full of life than I’d ever been.

I looked over to Clyde who had returned to a somewhat normal shade, although there was still some pink tinting his cheeks. He still seemed highly uncomfortable about this whole thing, his whole body looking tense. I tried imagining what he felt: a week ago he was living a (supposedly) peaceful life and then Baby was back in town and he’d been insulted, hit on and then embarrassed by his brother in front of his family. If I’d been in his place, I would have faked my death and left the country by now.

“I don’t think I should…” I said, hoping that at least one of the siblings would take the hint and leave it be.

“Nonsense!” Jimmy proclaimed, patting me on the shoulder and nudging me towards Sadie. “Come stay with us a while and I promise you’ll have plenty of time to do whatever you were planning on doing.”

“Are you willing to help out?”

“If that’s what it takes…”

I snorted. “Half an hour then I’m gone,” I said, following them towards the booths. I send Clyde an apologetic look, hopefully he wouldn’t be bothered too much by my presence for the next half an hour. He seemed to have regained his composure and was following us closely.

Sadie was still holding my hand as we were mingling into the crowd of people staring at the attractions. She diligently explained to me what everything was, like it was my first time going to a country fair. It was entertaining to watch. She was a really cute kid and honestly, after so many days of self-imposed isolation, it was nice to interact with people in my free time.

“So, how’s it like being back in your hometown again?” Mellie asked, once Sadie ran over to her dad.

“Nice, peaceful.” Or that’s how it should have been, if I’d been a little smarter. “But it’s gonna take a bit of getting used to. It’s definitely keeping me busy. My roof just started leaking, something I never thought I’d have to experience, but hooray for adult life,” I laughed.

“Did you get it fixed?” she asked, a little concerned.

“No, not yet. Called a couple of contractors, but they didn’t have any opening this month.” I sighed. “I don’t have that many contacts in the area, but I’ll keep looking and hope there won’t be rain anytime soon.”

“That sucks,” she said and turned to her brother. “Hey Jimmy,” she yelled, “do you know anyone who can fix a roof?”

“What happened to it?”

“I don’t know,” I answered, truthfully. “It’s just raining into my living room.”

“I can come take a look when I’m free. If it’s not something big I can fix it for you.” He offered.

“Thanks, but…” Was I stupid enough to refuse? Yes.

“You don’t trust my skills?”

“Oh, I do, but I don’t want you to waste your free time fixing my leaky roof.” It wasn’t just that. I generally preferred to work with people I didn’t know, who were paid to do a job and with who I could argue at the end if the job wasn’t done properly. With friends and family, you just accept what you get, smile and then pay someone else to fix it later. Plus, if they refused payment, you’d have to find a way to make it up to them which meant more complications. And in this particular case I knew I shouldn’t be spending more time with Clyde or his family if I wanted my unrequited crush to die anytime soon. But how do I tell Jimmy that, when he seemed so eager to help?

“It’s no problem. I’ll take a look and if it’s something I can’t do, I’ll put you in touch with some people. When are you free?”

“Not sure, my schedule isn’t fully decided yet.”

“Then give me a call and we’ll see what works for the both of us. Clyde gimme your phone.” That earned him a frown from his brother.

“Why? What happened to your phone?” he said on what I guessed was a rather disapproving tone, but handed him the phone nonetheless.

“It’s broken.”

“He forgot to pay for it,” Sadie explained with a giggle.

“I didn’t forget, I’m not paying it in sign of protests to the shitty plan they forced down my throat,” he muttered. “Anyway, what’s your number?”

He punched in the number and gave me a call. I typed the name Clyde but then changed my mind and saved it as ‘Logan Bros’. Clyde never really wanted my number, so it was just a way for me to get in touch with Jimmy if I needed help. I decided to never call it unless the roof caught fire and I was trapped underneath.

The phone went back to Clyde and I saw him fiddle with it a bit, probably saving the number. I wondered what he saved me as. Probably used my real name, since I’d never heard him call me Baby. Although for some strange reason, I wouldn’t have minded even if he did. No matter how much I hated the nickname, I was sure I’d very much enjoy it if he moaned it in my ear as he pulled me closer to his chest and… stop. Restrain yourself, woman.

Sadie kept her promise and was a very good guide, which meant I was now very well acquainted with everything at the country fair. Jimmy had bought us corn dogs and cheesy fries and donuts and refused to let me pay for anything, so I retaliated by buying everyone snow cones and funnel cake. By the time we reached the shooting galleries, I was so full I was ready to burst.

As Sadie was searching the booths for the toy she wanted I bought a bottle of water, hoping to wash away the nausea caused by all that deep fried food I had shoved down my throat earlier. Seeing that Clyde had fallen behind and we could finally be alone for a bit, I decided to go and talk to him.

“Sorry for crashing your family outing,” I said, standing besides him as we both watched Sadie’s quest to find the best toy. “It wasn’t my intention.”

“It’s alright” he said, briefly glancing at me. “I have to apologize for how my brother acted today. I guess he’s just excited that you’re back in town. He doesn’t have that many friends.”

I had to admit that Jimmy Logan being lonely and not surrounded by hordes of friends was something that I would have never imagined. But I could see it now, after all we were both in the same position: two formerly popular kids that had fallen from grace and were now regular nobodies. Most friendships we made in our teens weren’t the kind that lasted a lifetime.

“I’m actually really enjoying this,” I said, trying to open the water bottle and failing. My hands were still very greasy from all that deep fried food. “But don’t tell anyone or I have a feeling I might get friend-dopted by your family and you’ll never get rid of me,” I said with a wink, to which he smiled. An actual smile. Directed at me.

“Lemme help you with that,” he said, noticing my pathetic attempt at opening the bottle. He held it under his left arm, effortlessly unscrewing the cap.

“I’m completely useless” I mumbled retrieving the bottle, and he chuckled.

In the meantime Sadie seemed to have found what she was looking for and dragged both Clyde and me towards one of the booths. She showed him what he wanted and after paying he was given a shabby airgun. I don’t think I’d ever seen anyone look at a rifle with more contempt in their eyes. I was certain he was used to a different type of guns, especially since he had been in the military.

“Piece of crap,” he mumbled, to no one in particular, disgust clear in his voice.

“Welcome to the glamorous world of carnivals, Mr. Logan,” I laughed.

He shot me a dirty look and aimed. He missed the first two targets, but got the other three. It was still quite impressive, I was sure the only thing I’d be able to hit with any rifle would be my foot, especially since everyone knows the games are rigged and the guns aim screwed on purpose. He paid for another round and I kept my fingers crossed. Sadie had climbed onto her father’s shoulders and was cheering from above.

This time he got the first target with very little effort. And the second one. And the third. By the fourth I was probably as excited as Sadie, although a little less vocal. The fifth target came down just as effortlessly as the others and both Sadie and I cheered loudly. The vendor faked excitement and handed him the toy, making a bit of a spectacle to attract other customers. ‘Look everybody, you can win even with one arm!’ he bragged, and I hated him already, but Clyde didn’t even seem to notice.

“Which one do you want?” he asked Mellie, after giving Sadie her toy.

“One of those,” she said, pointing to a bunch of little plushies that could be hanged on the rearview mirror.

“Alright,” he said, and paid for another round. This time, it seemed like he didn’t even have to aim. He just pointed the rifle and the targets went down one after another, to the vendor’s increased irritation and to my delight.

Clyde gave the toy to his sister who thanked him with a kiss on the cheek, then turned to me. “Which one do you want?”

“Me?” I said, taken by surprise. “You want to get me one too?”

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#clyde logan #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan x oc #logan lucky #clyde logan fanfictio

[jack-manpain-zimmermann]

My first year of hockey fandom on tumblr and yikes. Everyone who posted about concussions and CTE and calling out NHL Player Safety is really just gliding on past the fact that this team once again used targeted head shots made by a player with a long history of targeting head shots, in a series against a team whose captain already lives in fear of CTE.... in large part because of said team who once again, targeted his team with concussions.

(please don’t reblog - replies are fine but just know I’ve been into this sport too long to be interested in having my mind swayed in favor of being nicer to male athletes)

And wow. I gave most people the benefit of the doubt that they absolutely knew their perceptions of hockey players as lovely sweethearts is almost entirely fiction crafted by PR and social media, and that duh of course male professional athletes should be viewed as default assholes until fairly unorchestrated proof shows otherwise. That’s just common sense. I didn’t watch hockey games as a 90s teen thinking I wanted to take these guys into my heart and good graces. But I also didn’t want to be that old person in fandom who took fandom stuff too seriously. I’ve never had a team affiliation or preference so I never get touchy about a team or players getting grief from opposing fans. So I didn’t get too in my feelings when I saw people getting gushy about their favorite teams or players either, even if it did seem pretty removed from reality. I figured people knew what they were doing.

But I.... think people actually believe Ovechkin is a sweetheart and that the Caps deserved a win out of this series. That’s ummm. A step away from logic and reality that I can’t inflict upon myself. I had no horse in this or any other playoff race and yeah, the Penguins absolutely have shit to be critical of. But the Caps straight up haven’t cared if they’re shortening someone’s life or not. Again. They support someone laughing at having laid a player out on the ice. They have a history of head shots as a way of removing players from the game. ??????

If someone wants to just fantasize online about an Ovechkin who’s everything the commercials, PR, enormously biased team mates and his very young girlfriend/wife say he is then it’s fine. So long as that fantasy knows to hold off in the face of real life things that you can’t ignore and that people are rightly outraged about.

Especially when these same people claim to be outraged about head shots and goons. 

Real Life Ovechkin is a sexist, egomaniacal pig who I wouldn’t want anywhere near me, my female friends or female relatives. I’ve met Ovechkins, I have friends who’ve dated Ovechkins. He offers nothing in his flimsy public persona to make me assume he’s anything different. No one should be shocked by this. The warning signs are there, folks. That PR veil of cutesy doofuses is paper thin. You lose nothing by admitting that he, like most of these players, is a waste of space not worthy of struggling to find good qualities about. Watch him play all you want but don’t let him into your feelings. He and all these men gain a lot from people perpetuating public images they haven’t earned. You’re playing into that.

Sorry, it’s just genuinely scary. People hating Crosby (so long as they don’t dip into misogyny or homophobia for it) and people hating the Penguins or just not wanting them to keep winning is whatever, that’s a normal part of competitive sports. But for all that I thought I saw a public outpouring on here for ZAR, I’ve seen chillingly little responsibility held over Ovechkin, Trotz or the Caps as an organization that employs guys like Wilson and Ovechkin who deliver high hits that get called ‘playing hard’ or ‘beastmode’ and waved away by the league. And now I guess fans who claim to be against goon behavior.

It’s fine if people wanna pretend cute stuff about hockey players and teams fully knowing it isn’t real. But this sport repeatedly exhibits it’s most repulsive side in the team that won last night. It’s something they and their players are known for. 

Bear in mind that I had to watch Paul Kariya’s brilliant career get broken apart and reduced to nothing but his history of concussions because of the types of guys that the Caps and many other teams are employing. Paul Kariya, who won the Lady Byng multiple times but who stated that he realized he’d have to start playing dirtier just to protect himself. Hell, I remember Gretzky himself (another Byng recipient) still being known as a “whiner” because he used to speak up about bad hits. I remember that he gave up and stopped criticizing the players who targeted him because he was shamed out of it. I can’t believe hockey fans, even supposedly progressive ones, are no farther along than they were then. And that now it’s all because they think grown men are their own sweethearts to protect and defend.

Side note that shit like this makes me think every non-Penguins fan in hockey fandom truly believes that their team wouldn’t have gone to the White House and had the exact same responses about it. Despite so many of their faves having visited a Bush White House and now the Women’s Olympic team going this year. And the resoundingly ambivalent or supportive reactions that 2016 teams had about the Penguins visit, especially from white players. 

Either it’s the league that’s to blame or it’s the teams and players, or it’s everyone. You can’t pick and choose who is more to blame and who has no choice based on the circumstance. 

I’m just. There are genuinely people who look at a Putin buddy and say how “gay” and liberal his team is and mean it, and who don’t realize that his level of physical affection with men is normal in Russia and yikes if it isn’t tone deaf to call it gay and actually think it is. Yes, all Russian players have to toe the pro-Russia line no matter what, but this guy is literally Putin’s friend. He’s not. Cuddly. Or. Sweet. Holtby going to pride parades and saying nice stuff is ... so? That’s nice and all and worth a reblog and folks can gush as if it means more than it does. Lord knows we’re starved for it. But it’s the barest fucking minimum and the dude is a heterosexual. Has zero impact on what his other team members think or do. 

Again, I really was operating under the belief that all the Ovi/Nicky pseudo shippy stuff and the Cuddly Bear Ovi stanning was people posting it but knowing how absurd and unreal it all is. That it’s a bit of fun to have while watching hockey but ultimately knowing that the truth is pretty gross and disappointing. I can kinda see that, even if I don’t get into it myself much. But god, not if people are actually starting to let their reactions to concussions and dirty hits and actual personal political affiliations be swayed by it. 

(And if anyone reads this and does separate their fandom fantasy from reality then just know I’m not addressing this at you anymore than I am myself for occasionally dipping my toe in it. I took part in protesting the Pens WH visit despite reblogging Pens stuff sometimes.)

That’s a terrifying amount of bias based on nothing more than the odd team member going to a pride parade or posting cute stuff with children on their instagram and indulging fans in the fantasy that all their relationships with women are perfect and wonderful. This league is infested with toxic masculinity as it always has been. It’s almost creepier that men who are remorseless thugs on the ice are able to use social media and a prevalent NHL public relations presence to seduce supposedly progressive fans so easily by making the barest minimum effort at presenting a likeable persona.

I think it’s uhhhh time to back away from hockey tumblr now. I’m glad I didn’t get too deep into it.

#rant #personal #tl;dr I'm hopping right back out of hockey fandom lol #last night was just plain scary #don't reblog #I promise I'll be back to silly shit asap! #rl hockey #its early so hopefully this flies under the radar lol #I just had to get it out

[tokidokifish]

i went on another rant about fanfiction with @audrey-scorne and since there’s no point in my suffering if i can’t share it with others, here it is.

it’s not as long but i’m still gonna cut it. there’s... kind of a lot of talk about abortion, for one thing. it’s also a lil nsfw.

tokidokifish: wanna hear about another bad fic i read

audreyscorne: Only always

tokidokifish: so you know i'm not into a/b/o

tokidokifish: but i read a lot of fanfic and if a summary doesn't sound immediately awful i'll give it a read

audreyscorne: hoo boy, one of those huh

tokidokifish: oh yes

tokidokifish: and being Not Into That, i've noticed there are two, like, specific categories of a/b/o fanfic

tokidokifish: one being "essentially everything's the same but people fall into these categories and maybe there's mpreg because i can't conceptualize my fave characters being trans"

tokidokifish: and the other being "holy fuck i am way too into this idea, here is a world built around people being a/b/o, with significant differences in culture to accommodate shit like heats and ABSOLUTELY mpreg"

tokidokifish: this was the latter

audreyscorne: Oh no

tokidokifish: and it's a man from uncle fic. movie version, probably because people who were fans of the show were writing fic before all this bullshit became popular.

audreyscorne: A whole world based on bad studies of captive wolves.

tokidokifish: and weird sexism, but we'll get there

tokidokifish: so napoleon is an omega, and apparently when he was younger he really objected to the idea of the "traditional omega" (which weirdly involves them barefoot in a kitchen, which, okay, but also specifically mentions them wearing "sack dresses" or something of that extent, which makes me wonder, like... was that a part of early 20th century sexism that i just missed out on? is that a big part of a/b/o sexism that i'm just not aware of because i don't do this to myself very often? i don't know, it was weird)

tokidokifish: anyhow, napoleon acts out by sleeping with everyone and then gets pregnant and has an abortion because oh my god, of course

tokidokifish: now, please be aware that this fic was tagged with abortion, and i assumed this was it

audreyscorne: Oh. Oh

tokidokifish: then he goes on suppressants, which i DO know are a big part of a/b/o culture because i do do this to myself TOO often, and yada yada yada we get to the events of the movie and he hooks up with illya, who is an alpha, and goes off his supplements, and ends up like going into heat in the middle of a mission and i... swear to god this happens in the fic, because of course i couldn't make this shit up, but illya Must Fuck Him and this being a/b/o, it's got... fucking... knots, and they end up being extracted STILL CONNECTED, and oh my god would you BELIEVE this isn't even the worst part of this fic?

audreyscorne: I am covering my mouth aghast right now

audreyscorne: You are practicing a very specific and scary form of anthropology

audreyscorne: Thank you for your service

audreyscorne: In the trenches

tokidokifish: it's a form of self-flagellation, probably

audreyscorne: Medieval Catholic monks had nothing on you

tokidokifish: anyhow, illya has to go on a mission alone and napoleon realizes he's pregnant, again, and he wants to keep it this time, but he doesn't tell anyone because he wants to tell illya first

tokidokifish: but because apparently uncle can't just NOT include the fact they extracted two of their agents like actively fucking in the post-mission reports, it gets back to the cia, and they call napoleon back in, because he literally fucking belongs to them, and they force him to terminate the pregnancy

audreyscorne: Bad

audreyscorne: Bad bad no

tokidokifish: hey, guess what, it's not over yet

tokidokifish: so napoleon deals with this Badly, which isn't something i have a problem with because of course he fucking would, you awful goddamn gremlin author, you, but he STILL DOES NOT TELL ANYONE even after illya comes back and their relationship fucking implodes because it's kind of hard to make things work when one half of said relationship is silently suffering from serious trauma they refuse to divulge.

tokidokifish: please be aware that the author tags for "miscommunication" and blames ILLYA for it, which.... come on

audreyscorne: Uhhhh

tokidokifish: anyhow, their partnership suffers, because of course it does, and eventually waverly finds it all out when they're like "hey, so fucking something's wrong with napoleon", and then eventually ILLYA finds out and he and gaby start filling their off time with planning to kill napoleon's cia handler, and he finds out and flips out and in response, i SHIT YOU NOT, decides to dissolve their partnership and go back to the cia

tokidokifish: which illya is understandably a Little Upset About

tokidokifish: specifically pointing out that the cia hurt napoleon and "killed [their] child", which napoleon gets upset about because it wasn't a child, it was a fetus, which, yeah, is a distinction that one would make if they had personally decided to get an abortion, but i think once someone decides to KEEP a baby it officially probably graduates to baby status

audreyscorne: Boy, abortion is definitely a thing the author Gets and is Good At Writing About

tokidokifish: y e a h

tokidokifish: anyhow, napoleon goes back to the cia, and then he disappears. illya is tasked with uncle into hunting him down, and he does, finding napoleon in south america, f u c k i n g pregnant

tokidokifish: by a dude he seduced as part of a mission, not illya

audreyscorne: Of course, narrative rule of three

tokidokifish: so illya is like "yes, i was sent to find you, but now we can go back home and uncle can protect you" and as napoleon is a reasonable person who makes good choices in this fanfic, he responds by tying illya up and fucking bouncing

tokidokifish: and he disappears into europe, where illya tracks him down AGAIN on his own, but it's just to share like fucking... longing, or something, i have the fic open but i do not care enough to remember why this scene happened, all i remember is that illya promises he won't tell anyone about napoleon and napoleon responds by fucking bouncing, AGAIN

tokidokifish: and so it goes until illya shows up fucking SEVENTEEN YEARS after napoleon's twins were born and only then do they hook up again, and i guess the fic ends... happily?

tokidokifish: fucking what?

audreyscorne: It was either that ending or a third abortion and the author flipped a coin

tokidokifish: ignoring the utter incomprehensibility of napoleon's behavior and how completely fucking unnecessary so much of that goddamn fic was, they were together for like MAYBE a few months, and are apparently so fucking in love they have no fucking problem just lingering for SEVENTEEN YEARS after separating to hook up again

tokidokifish: WHY

tokidokifish: how the fuck do you think these things WORK

tokidokifish: what the fuck is your goddamn fetish for abortion

audreyscorne: Oh, it's Dramatic

audreyscorne: Sexual assault not edgy enough anymore? Worry not, shitty writers

tokidokifish: sounds about right, honestly

tokidokifish: fucking GOD

tokidokifish: oh i'm remembering now, they hooked up seventeen years later because illya couldn't leave the kgb while his mother was still alive in russia. i shit you not, the seventeen years was WAITING FOR HIS MOTHER TO DIE.

audreyscorne: True Love

tokidokifish: because their love was strong enough to last seventeen years, but not strong enough to get illya to just move his mother out of fucking russia and leave the kgb. holy FUCKING shit.

tokidokifish: i fucking hate it

audreyscorne: It's bad!

#fish reads bad fanfiction

[jasper-rolls]

i talked about this a bit on twitter but i wanna elucidate on it here so here’s another fucking post about the fucking dream daddy shit because i cant stop myself from being annoyed by the back and forth and misrepresentation and vague posts trying to act like they’re just talking in general when its very obviously about this

strap in cause this is gonna be a long one

there are three points i want to make

1) criticism of media is important and needed, particularly in the realm of discussing representation and creator intent, since its overall purpose is to further discussion and foster overall improvement in future. criticism of a work isn’t always an attack on the people who like it

i mean, we’ve all been there. it sucks to read when someone’s talking down something you like a lot, especially if its something that’s very meaningful to you. it happens to me too - i can’t count the number of times i’ve read an article or essay ripping apart something i love and found it very difficult to disengage my personal feelings from it.

but unless the person making the criticism is specifically going out of their way to say “and all the people who LIKE this thing are fucking gibbering idiots who wouldn’t know good quality if it punched them in the face”, then the criticism isn’t an attack on you personally, and you have to find the place to disengage that emotional attachment and at least tolerate the criticism of the work. you may accept and agree with it or not, but understand that the critic is (probably) not directly attacking you

and raising potential problems on the representation side of the work is important, because it highlights potential problems for people interested in it that they might not have been aware of before, like creator’s personal views influencing development of the work, or unfortunate implications of plot beats within the work

there’s definitely legitimate cause for concern in game grumps involvement with dream daddy. in my personal experience, the grumps aren’t particularly forward thinking in a lot of respects - arin and danny are quick to lapse into bottom of the barrel racist accent humor (particularly with asian characters), or “hey, isn’t being gay kind of weird” straight guy nonsense. the understanding they’ve showcased of lgbt concepts and issues leaves a lot to be desired (last i remember, arin still considered “cisgender” to be a slur despite being told what it actually means)

and every time this is brought up, i see fans saying “oh but they’re better now, they’ve learned!” and i have to say, i still watch them fairly regularly and...they really haven’t! the “progress” is minimal at best, its like watching someone push a boulder up a hill. they haven’t really changed all that much in the last few years to be frank. so the concern with them being involved with, and putting their name on, a game where the focus is on mlm (and has transgender characters) has definite grounding, given how they’ve acted before.

and the cult ending naturally has unfortunate implications - the idea that every character in the game is being tricked into being forever single, their misery being used to fuel some sort of demon...i mean, given how gay people have been treated throughout history and in media, at the very least it’s pretty regressive. you can’t fault someone for reading the transcript and feeling a little sick

the raising and highlighting of these things isn’t a personal attack. it’s overall, to help people make an informed decision, and be aware of the things that aren’t so great - that might be a dealbreaker, on a personal level. criticism is valuable, and useful, and we should recognize it as such

-----------------------------

2) on the opposite hand, EVERYTHING we read, watch, or play is guaranteed to have a problematic element of some sort, and nothing you ever enjoy is perfect. expecting something to conform to a 100% ideologically pure standard is unreasonable and ultimately a fool’s game

my personal favourite game of all time, ever, is killer7. it’s the game that bought suda51 to prominence in the west. it’s a weird blend of first-person shooter, rail shooter, and rpg. the story is outright bizarre, with disorienting visuals and surreal events like a lucha wrestler headbutting a bullet out of midair, a ghostly man wrapped in bdsm gear popping up to give you advice, and giggling zombies that explode on contact

its also got quite a share of shitty moments - a rape scene, the female characters leave a lot to be desired, its got a frankly weird interpretation of a lot of psychological disorders, and a good chunk of the game is dedicated to character development of a pedophile

suffice to say it probably wouldn’t be a big hit with a lot of people here. but does this stuff mean its completely reprehensible, and not worth spending any time with? i did just tell you it’s my favourite game so you can probably guess how i’m going to respond to that rhetorical question. this post is long enough without me spending several more paragraphs explaining to you why i think killer7 is worth giving a shot, so i’m going to skip to the point that this example is illustrating - the things we love, our favourite things, are probably just as, or maybe even more problematic than the things we don’t.

i’m not going to cite any further examples since i don’t know what you, the reader, personally enjoys or loves, but like...i guarantee you, its probably done something pretty shitty with its running time. i’m fairly confident i’ve never read or enjoyed something that didn’t at some point play into some shitty trope about lgbt people, or people of colour, or women - and if didn’t somehow, chances are it’s because it never showed them in the first place, because its focus is on straight, white, cis men, which is, naturally a problem of its own

if you’re willing to shrug off shitty opinions of creators of things you love, or bad tropes and plot elements in things you love, then why is it so different for the things you dislike? to write off dream daddy entirely, because of the involvement of game grumps, and the existence of one bad ending with shitty implications, and ignoring its more positive elements while praising the things you love that have more than likely done shitty stuff too is...frankly ridiculous

it perhaps may not seem like much to you, but dream daddy getting the kind of coverage and attention it has is...kind of a big deal as far as i’m concerned! games with narrative tend to be pretty hostile towards gay men*, so for a game that presents an overall sincere and positive representation of gay men to see this much attention and get to no. 1 seller on steam a significant step forward, i think. it’s not revolutionary, but personally, as a gay man, it means a lot to me, and i know a few other gay men who would feel the same, and that surely counts for something

and as far as killer7 goes, well...waypoint explains it better than i could, but i would just like to say: that pedophile character i mentioned? that part of the game ends with you beating him in a duel so hard, he falls over and gets eviscerated by a machine designed to cut out organs. so it’s not all bad.

-----------------------------

3) (this is the big one) this site has a big fucking problem with virtue signalling 

perhaps its bad of me to assume something of people, but i’m going to go out on a limb and say at least one person immediately closed the tab the moment they read that line, and i wouldn’t blame them, because the problem with saying something like “virtue signalling” is that the alt-right and gamergaters have tried their absolute hardest to make that phrase essentially mean nothing by throwing it at anyone who shares a dissenting opinion of any kind. but despite their efforts, virtue signalling is a phrase that does actually have a meaning, and its the meaning i’m using here

i’m going to take a quick excerpt from hbomberguy’s video on the subject (it’s worth watching, it’s only 10 minutes long and pretty funny)  - “The term was originally coined[...]to decry people who say, ‘I don’t like this thing very much’, in order to feel good about themselves, and then just, vote Labour every few years or whatever and take no stake in actually making things better.”

tumblr (or at least, the part of tumblr i engage with) does this, a LOT. it’s in the smug, one line “uhhhh, yikes, lmao 💅” rebuttals to arguments against the thesis of a given post. it’s in the strawman cartoons and chat posts that cast opponents of the OP as self-contradicting fools. it’s in the “so jot that down” responses, the “i’m side-eyeing everyone who isn’t reblogging this”, etc. etc. everyone has done this. you have probably engaged with this. i definitely have - at least one of my popular posts, if not more is, basically me, doing this thing! to be fair i had no intention those posts being popular, but then one never does, do they?

in the case of dream daddy, it’s “me: y’all:” image edits snarkily demonstrating how they’re SWERVING “that dad dating shit”, chat posts casting defenders points as “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST NEVER CRITICIZE ANYTHING EVER”, posts smugly announcing they’re going to pirate the game just to take money from arin hanson, as if that’s how game development works, and i think it’s what’s led to a huge amount of misrepresentation about this game in particular

i’ve seen people acting like the game grumps are like, directing and writing the game, when, as far as i’m aware, all they did was provide funding and voice acting. and the big thing that really got my goat, was someone describing the cult ending, and listing the implications i’ve already gone over myself, and then saying that this was the game’s true ending

this...literally could not be further from the truth. for starters, no-one has actually gotten this ending from playing through the game naturally. the reason? because you CAN’T. it was found through data-mining - it isn’t accessible through regular play. it’s either content that was cut from the game late in development, or, as the theory goes, intended to be a non-canonical or fake ending added in as halloween DLC come october (given the tone of the whole thing it sounds reasonable to me) which has, unfortunately, now been ruined due to this whole debacle

to do this kind of thing, to describe this as “the true ending” borders on being an out and out lie for the purpose of making dream daddy look way, way worse than it actually is. there’s no justice here, there’s no attempt to inform accurately. it’s “hey, check out how shitty this thing is! i’m good for disliking it, aren’t i? ignore the context, or the fact that i’m literally lying about what this is”

look, okay, i’m getting a little vitriolic - people can make mistakes, misunderstand things, it happens. everyone does it. me too. but this posing, this “look how good and cool i am, for not liking this thing”, it helps nothing at best and actively harms at worse. misrepresenting positions, context, and events for the purpose of satisfying the ego of whoever is making the statement - it helps no-one, except that person, in the most minor and meaningless of ways

i want to be clear - this final bit is just as much a memo for myself as it is for everyone reading this

be critical. don’t take things at face value. read into issues, understand context. get as close to the source of the issue at hand as you can, and determine the truth from there. resist the urge to be smug, detached, and dismiss those who disagree with your position - resist the urge to laugh at them, they may just not know. try and engage them in honest debate. if they resist that, if they don’t want to meet you on an equal footing you are within your rights to disengage.

be strong. support the things you love, and remember where the line is

we can all be better

*i’m not saying that other groups aren’t treated with hostility in games and gaming - trans women certainly get it really, really bad. just personally saying, in my experience as a gay man, the gaming community, and subsequently games with a focus on narrative themselves, have a sort of...special hatred of mlm. not necessarily worse, just...uniquely hostile

[sunsapphic-callout]

ok so here’s the stuff about lauren!

i orignally made a post like this on my vent / personal but im gonna clean it up and add screenshots to make it less vague (nobody who follows the blog that had the original post knows lauren so i didnt think it was necessary to be specific). i know this post is gonna make it real obvious who i am for people who were involved, and if lauren ever comes on this blog she’ll know exactly who i am, but i’m willing to take that risk and be as specific as i can be because uhhhh this shit is gross and i’m PISSED.

my boyfriend and i wanted to get involved in the the adventure zone kin community, and since we’re both 18, we wanted to make a chat specifically for adult taz fans who were also kin, because we knew kin communities have a lot of people trying to find their lovers and stuff and we didn’t wanna make it weird for minors and adults to mingle just in case. we didn’t really do much by way of getting it out there, just posted a simple link to it and tagged it, and lauren was one of the first people to join.

i didn’t know lauren personally at the time, but i was a fan of the content she posted on her taz-specific blog, listen/kitty/cat (i think it was a different URL at the time and she changed it, but i cant recall what it is for the life of me). me and my boyfriend were really excited because we recognized her, and we gushed that we were fans of her content.

important things to note before i continue: me and lauren are both kin with taako, tho i am a fictive in a system (it doesnt change anything, i just wanna be transparent). my boyfriend is kin with magnus. my boyfriend and i had been together for a little while before making this chat. in both mine and lauren’s “canon”, taako was romantically involved w/magnus.

my bf and i are very blatantly involved. we tried to keep PDA out of the chat in obtrusive ways or ways that would make people uncomfortable, but we didn’t try and hide that we were dating. hell, in our introductions in the discord chat, we talked about loving each other.

to put it plainly, lauren treated my boyfriend like he was hers, even from the beginning. it was like i wasn’t there, or like i didn’t exist to her. like lauren, i have BPD, and i know i can be possessive and jealous, but i remember i told my boyfriend like immediately that i was rubbed the wrong way a little by the way she was talking to him. he said he didn’t see anything wrong with it, so i chalked it up to my assumption and jealousy, and i did my best to ignore it.

eventually i leave the group chat because i just get too jealous about petty little things that i know weren’t her fault and were just affecting my mood. another system member who is taz kin joins the chat as a mod.

a lil bit passes and lauren invited a new magnus kin to the chat, who we will call X simply because i don’t want him to get involved directly. he’s a pretty famous taz artist, and he draws magnus/taako. i don’t know the full detail behind their relationship, or whether they were even in an official relationship, but i do know that it started with lauren saying he was ‘her magnus’ and ended with X leaving the group chat and lauren talking shit about him. i don’t know the full story and i thought it was justified but after finding this blog and learning her history about calling people abusive for leaving her for their health / because she’s being manipulative…. idk. not making any assumptions anymore.

skip ahead to a little bit longer. lauren is sad about not having 'her magnus’ when a new magnus kin joins the chat (we’ll use B), and lauren did the same thing she did with X. she got attached extremely quickly, talked about how she had found Her Magnus, and then when B doesn’t give her… something??… she moves on from him. starts getting upset again that she doesn’t have 'her magnus’.

i rejoin the chat at some point, separate from the one my other system member uses. it’s not a big deal, i just feel ready to come back and move on from the suspicion i have about lauren.

here’s the part that finally directly involves my boyfriend and i.

my boyfriend is, like, a well meaning guy. he likes helping people and he likes when people are happy. so he started compiling a list of all the magnuses around her age that had posted in the taz kin community tags. and he tells her something like “until you find who you’re looking for, i’ll keep your heart warm”, which he has acknowledged to both me & lauren could have been taken as romantic language, though he didnt intend it that way. so, lauren starts talking to him and at first it’s casual, but he says that a lot of the conversations took a turn towards the flirty. apparently one night while i was asleep the chat played truth or dare & fuck marry kill and my boyfriend was like “fuck taako” every time talking about me, and said something jokingly about giving good oral (it’s an 18+ chat, so it isn’t weird for us to joke about nsfw) and lauren made it weird and sexual about the two of them and not, like, me & my bf?

i didn’t know about any of this until he told me, but i wouldn’t ever police my boyfriend’s conversations so i wasn’t like asking about it or anything.

the climax of this encounter with my boyfriend goes like this: i’m asleep (i work 9 or 10 hour shifts late into the night and if i lay down right when i get home i pass out immediately, like this night), and lauren calls my boyfriend because she’s somewhere alone at night and she’s afraid. since her and my boyfriend are friends, he gladly does so.

he’s awake playing stardew valley anyway, and so they’re talking about it, and their conversation takes a turn towards romance (you can date & marry people in sdv) and then to sex (idk how this topic got brought up personally). and according to my bf, lauren is being flirty and the oral sex thing gets brought up again, and my bf is joking that he’s the king of oral.

(this conversation is paraphrased and according to my boyfriend it was a lot more uncomfortable than it seems written here)

lauren says “yeah, well, prove it”, and my bf is like “i can’t, haha” trying to play it off and diffuse the situation, and lauren is like “you were talking such a big game before and now you’re afraid to back it up!” and my bf is like “nah, i can’t, that’s literally impossible…” and lauren is like “yeah, you’re so far away….”

at this point my boyfriend is like “i dont want to continue this conversation because i don’t want to be the replacement X first of all, and second of all i’m like… in a committed relationship”. and lauren immediately hangs up the call, and gets really upset, and vague posts about my boyfriend on her vent and tells him she took a bunch of pills ? and she vagues about him all the next day too, knowing he can see it because he has the url, talking about how nobody ever sticks around and that she’s going to be alone forever or whatever even though they were literally never dating?

my bf and i have talked extensively about this, and i’ve explained how even though he didn’t intend for it to be a flirtatious friendship, it *was*, even if he didn’t realize it. i understand this, because he’s just the type of person who showers everyone he knows in compliments.

but lauren knew. how do i know? my boyfriend sends me a screenshot of a set of posts she’s made. she KNEW this kind of interaction was wrong and she has a thing for my boyfriend despite that…….

another few days pass and there’s a new magnus kin in the chat, and suddenly they’re head over heels in love with him and they’re feeling so many feelings in their chest or whatever and they feel like 'this is the one’ the FIRST night they interact…

my boyfriend messages lauren and apologizes for having interacted in a way that was flirtatious, even if he didnt intend for it to be. lauren snubs him by saying “because of you, i met someone who is writing a list of all the good things about me”, and so my bf doesn’t reply.

and then this magnus kin has to step away for their mental health… and lauren goes right back to talking about how she’s going to be alone forever and how nobody ever stays with her?

and right after this, she messages my boyfriend apologizing for snubbing his apology.

it seems awfully suspect that she’s hopping from magnus to magnus in a group chat imo, and basically what i’m thinking (and my boyfriend has told me he feels this way after personally interacting with her) is that lauren only cares about people who are magnus kin because of their ID, and not because they’re their own people? like, she’s using hers and their IDs to hop from person to person who will give her attention and then call the people who step away for mental health reasons or because they’re made uncomfortable the bad guys??? shes trying to make people into a one-dimensional character whose only dimension is 'being in love with taako’ (and by extension whose only dimension is being in love w/her)

i don’t understand why lauren tried to initiate phone sex with my boyfriend, knowing that i exist and having talked to me about X literally not even a week prior. i don’t understand why she hasn’t tried to talk to me despite “knowing it was wrong”. i don’t understand why lauren is clinging to people over and ID and discarding them like they never existed once they assert that they are also people with feelings…………………..

basically if u are kin w/magnus and u are 18+…………………….. be fucking wary. and if u are kin w/taako and you have a boyfriend who is kin w/magnus, keep him far away from lauren or else she might try to initiate phone sex with your boyfriend and get mad when he asserts that hes in a happy relationship and isnt interested……

note: im waiting on my bfs account of their interactions to be accurate but if you want to you can post this on its own!

#i didn't think she was still at it jesus #sunsapphic #listenkittycat #spacetaako #thekinzone #submission