#v: life of piracy

[muninnhuginn]

Sigh. So any Cbeebies Podcast is strictly unavailable in the USA. Can’t be streamed or downloaded. I tried to download the “Old Jack’s Boat” episodes with Bernard Cribbins and got an error on both the actual BBC site and iTunes

RIP (in both senses of the word :/). VPN may be the main route to go tbh if you've not already tried it. I don't imagine it would be super easy to find that elsewhere :|

#randomnessoffiction #sorry I took so long about this #life got to me and then the whole hbo nuking programmes from streaming happened #and the hypotheticals about lost media became a whole lot more real #lost media really shouldn't be a thing with any modern day media because we have backups and ways to proliferate it all #but it's becoming increasingly the case that piracy becomes the only way to access a load of shows #I'm... ever so slightly salty about this all :V #especially because I do believe if there were legal ways to access media that were fair and convenient that people would take up on them #anyway you're braver than I for watching something with cribbins in #I always struggle too much to watch stuff with recently deceased actors so not sure how I'm gonna handle the 60th anni ep

[sinning-23]

Net Pt.2 (Shanks x Siren!Reader)

someone asked for part two and it blew up so uhhh here part two for my shanks loving bbgrls!

warnings: definelty pron with plot lol, tension, kissing, intense touching, p in v, never been touch, slow and gentle smeggs. uhh yeah, loss of virginity? Sorta?

Pt.1 Found Here

You gasp, feeling his hands slide under the fabric of your shirt. Cold. You huff at the feeling, breathless at his touch. Your lips don't stop, the two of you just barely separating for air before going back to being stuck like glue.

"Will you?" He asks, eyes soft and pleading desperate.

Stay with him? Live this life of piracy and be protected and loved by him? Be held and kissed and touch in places you'd yet to discover on yourself? Youd be a fool to say no.

Like clumsy young adults you sprint with one another to his quarters, the door locking before he's back on you, whimpers and moans just as musical as the creaky floorboards when you're backed against his bed.

Fear settles in your heart, well no, not fear, anxiety. He can see it and only kissed the top of your head, slowing his pace.

“Slow. Okay guppy?” He smiles, seeing you nod.

He scoots you back, your body upright but comfortable against then pillows. Shanks opts to work his way down, making sure you knew just how precious you were to him. Soft and slightly chapped lips brush over your scales and the flesh of your necks, praises fall from his lips like a prayer.

It makes your tummy turn, a wave of emotions flooding your mind and body like you’d never felt before. For someone who’s lived their whole life in the ocean you were almost too sure this is what it felt like to be seasick, a loved, nervously, excited mess.

“Focus.” He hums, seeing the emotional roller coaster your conscious had gone on.

And you did, finally letting yourself just relax. His hands aren’t cold anymore, and they slide down the fabric of your shirt, exposing your chest to him. It’s only a little embarrassing but the embarrassment is soon overpowered by pleasure.

Your back arches into him when he takes one into his mouth, sucking and licking the sensetive bud while his free hand bust barely grazed over the other. A moan slips past your lips and you feel him grin as he unlatches and decides to kiss down your stomach.

“I-I don’t, how do we even-I’ve never-“ You gasp, the feeling of his fingers over your wetness making yoo shirt circuit.

“I do remember saying we’d go slow, right? We’ll work out way up love.” He explains, just barely circling your clit, enjoying how you unraveled before him.

“I- please.” You beg, not sure of what you were asking for.

Maybe for him to not stop, to stop teasing and let you feel his fingers fill you up. Desperation is what that was. Pure, horned up, desperation.

“I know love, I know. Are you okay for me to-?” He doesn’t finish, only pushing your folds open slowly as your head lols back an your mouth falls open in a silent moan.

“Yea, please keep touching me. Dont stop touching me.” You whine, curses in your native tongue rolling off your swollen lips. You’re now gripping his forearm, nails leaving indents in the flesh there.

Your eyes lock, yours glossy, his desperate, and promising.

"Oh honey when you ask like that I’ll touch you whenever you want for as long as you want I promise." He sighs, connecting your lips again as he begins to pump two fingers in and out of you, your wetness making the process a bit easier.

He’s gently, knowing that you've never touched or been touched like this. He knows its rather overwhelming and the last thing he wasn't to do if make you feel, uncomfortable.

You cling to him, letting him suck and lick the flesh of your neck, spots of purple being left in his wake. You do the same though, marking him as yours with a smile. You gasp when he hits that softer spot inside you, your head falling onto his shoulder.

He knows your close, velet walls fluttering around his fingers as he used his free hand to rub circlesover your sensitive nub. It feels so much hotter than before, your legs feeling like jelly when he takes the initiative to fold them a little more and guide you to wrap them around his waist.

“That’s it, let yourself feel good. Let me make you feel good.” He whispers, pupils wide as he watched you pall apart from his touch.

You can feel your body squeeze, muscles feeling tight as he speeds up a bit, the sound of your squelching only filling you with embarrassment. It didn’t last long though, because before you could warn him of this feeling of pleasurable impending doom, you snap.

And alll he does it smile, slowing his back as you two your head back, squeezing him as if he’d suddenly disappear.

Shanks is back on you, kissing you through your damn near earth shattering orgasm with a smile. He knows you’ll feel empty when he pulls his fingers out of you so as a sort of courtesy he doesn’t stop, still keep that agonizingly slow pace.

“That’s it my love. Gods you look beautiful like that. So pretty cumming over my fingers.” He hums, finally removing them from you and raising them to his mouth.

“Shanks!” You gasp, trying you tug his hand away but it’s too late, the action making you burn up.

He doesn’t respond, only pressing his lips to yours, sliding his tongue between your teeth as you moan into him, further relaxing. It’s somehow bitter and sweet.

“Just wanted you to see how good you taste.” He chuckles, placing his hat atop your head.

“Now, let’s get you cleaned up, hm?” He finishes, kissing your forehead before turning to find something to clean you with.

He’s soft, pulling you into one of his shirts which is far too big for you. He kisses the top of your head, your eyelids, your nose, and finally your lips. The silent agreement of sleep written over your faces.

Yeah, you’d be a fool to say no to this.

Tag list: @gingernut1314 @commanderfreethatdust @justrandom20

#x reader #reader is black #one piece #one piece live action #smut #opla shanks #one piece shanks #one piece shanks x reader #shanks x reader #shanks #opla shanks x reader #reader is a mermaid #reader is a siren #shanks is a daddy #i don't care he's hot

[fresne999]

Half way through the journey of our analyses

I feel like roughly half of the analysis I'm reading about OFMD S2 is folks who clearly fixated on a character (it's Izzy, it's always Izzy that inspires this kind of analysis) write analyses that cause the 2nd response of, "Um…did you ever study literary analysis in school."

Now I come at this from a slightly odd place in that I did study literary analysis in school (30+ years ago) where I learned it's possible to interpret anything about any way, because we're all bringing different lenses to the analysis. Which isn't to say that an author can't have an intended interpretation. 

Dante in Canto V of Inferno (Divine Comedy) would still like folks to understand fixating on the two damned-lovers and ignoring the details that the artist is putting in there for you to catch about how they are damned because they won't change the toxic patterns that got them there in the first place. Also, they can't because they are in hell, and hell is like that. That Dante-the-writer had Dante-the-character swoon over those same two damned-lovers (because Dante-the-character is on a journey of moral correction) is hilarious, but doesn't make it any less the point of that section of the work, but I digress.

As a career, I am very aware that folks love to misinterpret what is meant to be very clear instructions. Of course, I'm writing policies and procedures, which is a bit different from writing fiction, and is worlds away from creating a t.v. show. But that's the life experience that I always bring to literary analysis. Frequently, people choose their interpretations to fit what they want to see, and that's part of being human.

I've seen a fair number of folks interpret Izzy's redemption arc in S2 as one of a queer man struggling with disabilities and mental health issues whose struggle is made meaningless by his demise. Which sure, you could interpret it that way and in that it's coming from I'm sure an emotional place, I get it. And hmmm… I might give this interpretation more credence  if I hadn't read a lot of Izzy analysis for S1 that was wildly different than the text.

So let's take a step back. 

First, know the rules of the literary universe: OFMD is a show where the reality is not ours. It is either the Core Universe or something very close to it. BTW: If you've never heard of Core Universe or read the seminal BtVS+HtLJ "When Hellmouth's Collide" (https://www.ltljverse.com/index2.htm), a Core Universe is one where everything lines up. Row boats are magic, and where there is a Badminton, he will accidentally stab/shoot himself. 

Terminology more befitting of that fancy literature degree might be to say that OFMD functions along the logic of Magical Realism. Characters will appear briefly for the purposes of the story and then disappear not to be mentioned again (Nana, Calico Jack, Mary Read & Anne Bonny). Things align because they are meant to align. It is a universe where the Gravy Basket is a real place, and meant to be taken seriously.  It's also a universe where a man may become a seagull, because he loves the sea. You change for love, but the ways you change may be positive or toxic. 

They can result in a bird that never gets to know rest. Always flying over the sea. Or they lead to becoming a bird, who can float in the sea or land on a unicorn's leg. 

Transformation. 

Anyway, S1 - Stede commissioned a ship with secret passageways. It did not have a buxom mermaid on the prow, nor something more befitting a ship named the Revenge. He commissioned a unicorn prow and went off to become a pirate. 

A not particularly violent pirate. But a pirate who didn't have a problem with the violence of piracy. See Stede telling Lucius (hardest working man on the ship in S1) to take notes during a violent raid where the show's logo was literally carved into the chest of a dead man. 

BTW: The tone about violence is darker in S2, but the violence was there in S1. It was just presented in a more whimsical way. The nose jar was full of noses in S1. We heard about Blackbeard's violence. A man was skinned alive off screen, but we focused on the Prussian (but also sort of French) party. 

What Izzy needed to be redeemed from was established in S1. The problem is that folks who interpreted Izzy as a) the central focus of the show and b) a put upon manager just trying to do right by his crew (or as one Tumblerina referred to him as the man/father of the family going out to hunt - excuse me while I vomit - and support his family as men must do), are not going to understand what Izzy's S2 arc was all about. 

Ed and Stede are the main characters in a romantic story. There are other characters with their own arcs, but they are the main characters.

In S1, Stede created a safe space where characters had a chance to breathe for the first time. Possibly ever, and as a result revisited parts of themselves they'd lost. Wee John got back in touch with his roots as the son of a seamstress. Frenchie got back to what he loves, scamming the rich. The Swede sang like a siren of the sea, because it doesn't always have to be scary. 

Ed had his first good time in years. After expressing suicidal ideation to Izzy because of his terminal boredom in S1.E4 - Discomfort in a Married state, Ed found himself some balance. Some sweet marmalade. 

Ed and Izzy were in a toxic relationship that only reinforced their toxic behavior. And yes, I'm going to overuse the word toxic. While piracy is a place where you can go be yourself and shag whoever you want (whatever happens at sea stays at sea), it's not a place where you can be soft. Gentle. Emotionally open. Available. 

Ed's only path out that he could see at the time was to plan to skin the face of the man who built a ridonculous boat with a unicorn on the prow and wear it for the rest of his life. A plan to send Stede to Doggy Heaven. 

BTW: This is why Izzy uses the line in S2.E3 - the Innkeeper, that they put Ed down like a mad dog, so that Stede could reply that they sent Ed to Doggy Heaven. Reiterating this concept of piracy as violence, as taking away faces / identity / lives, but also losing one's own. Forgetting even what day of the year it is. Also revealing that Stede knew about Ed & Izzy's plan to murder him, send Stede to doggy heaven, and had moved on. 

This is also why the respite in S2.E4 - Fun and Games is so critical. Mary Read/Anne Bonney are portrayed as direct parallels to Stede/Ed. They are selling what are, no doubt, the spoils of their piracy. But they've chosen a remote location with no community, but each other and a life where they are not actually communicating. Which on its surface is where Ed and Stede end up, and yet…the Revenge can sail back. They are on the shore facing the sea, not in a jungle lost from a clear view. I'll quote the relevant Dante in just a bit, never fear.

Ed and Stede's new inn has the potential for a solid foundation, because the unicorn has been planted firmly in the ground, and if we get an S3, I firmly expect the unicorn leg to have transformed into a tree, because I've read a lot of medieval literature and that's how that sort of thing works. 

Well, it could be a penis tree (this was a thing in medieval marginalia), but somehow I don't think it will be. 

 But I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

Back in S1, the plan to murder Stede and take his identity broke down despite Izzy trying to perform an intervention to get Ed back into the toxic soup, and ended with Ed curled up in a bathtub and opening up about murdering his father. An image the show chose to flash on the screen multiple times in S2 just in case folks forgot that this was a traumatizing event for Ed, and was itself the culmination of years of traumatic abuse at his father's hands. 

Just as Stede kept flashing back to the moment his father tells him what it is to be a man, and kills an animal, the blood splashing on Stede's wee little face. 

That this is the point of the show. Transforming past trauma. It's there. You always carry the scars. Sometimes, you decide to tattoo yourself with the image of the thing you fear, and then the thing you fear is always there, but you've got to keep moving forward. To stay in one place, to stay trapped in the same emotion/action, is hell. I've read a lot of lit crit of Dante's Inferno. Trust me, it's the same thing.

Izzy's redemption arc is firmly based in the events of S1E6 - Here Dragons Be, because it's where the pustule of his relationship with Ed breaks. His attempted intervention fails to get Ed to kill Stede, so Izzy tries to kill Stede. Not realizing that a) Stede is a main character and b) this is a Core Universe show. Where it's possible to win a duel by being stabbed in the left side of your gut and stay there for many hours and not die. So he loses the 1 thing that defines him, his job. 

Izzy's redemption arc is firmly based in the events of s1E8 - We Gull Way Back, where he enlists Calico Jack to lure Ed off the boat (with all the toxic masculinity that entailed) so that the British could show up and shoot the head off the unicorn, and kill Stede. So Izzy can crawl back into his old patterns / job / life. 

Izzy's redemption arc is firmly based in the big drama confrontation in S1E10 - Wherever You Go There You Are, when as a person whose entire identity is tied up in being Blackbeard's First Mate and after realizing that he couldn't cut it as a captain on his own, he does whatever the f- he can to get Ed back into the toxic soup so he can get his old role/job back.  

This isn't to say that Ed's off the deep end actions in S2.E1&2 aren't his own choices. He is a main character. His emotional arc is one of the driving forces of the show. But they are the choices of a man who wants to die. After a lifetime of violent action that had been increasingly drowning him, he wants to die in the violence of battle, but the enemy are never good enough. He wants Izzy to kill him, but Izzy won't. Until he does…sort of. He wants to die in a storm. He's carving notches on his wall hoping to lure Ned Low to him so that he can die in pain. But Ed is the devil and does not die.

Except Ed's not the devil. He doesn't have a head made of smoke. He's a man. Not a fisherman. Not a fisher of men, and what an interesting attempt to go Christ himself off into the wilderness only to be fired for not being that good at it, and then receive his letter from the deep. 

Because in a show full of magical realism, the bottles with messages will reach the intended recipient eventually.

"In the middle of the journey of our life, I came to myself in a dark wood for the straight way was lost. Ah, how hard a thing it is to say what that wood was. So savage and harsh and strong, that the thought of it renews my fear. It is so bitter that death is little more so. But to speak of the good that I found there, I will tell of the other things I saw…and like one with laboring breath comes forth from the deep onto the shore, who turns back to the perilous water and stares, so my spirit still fleeing turned to gaze upon the pass that has never left anyone alive." Dante, Canto 1, Inferno. 

Instead of dying, Ed goes not to Purgatory (sorry I'd quote the opening lines, but Inferno actually works better here), but to the Gravy Basket, where he confronts the spirit of Hornigold. Dead spirit. Aspect of Ed's self. Both. Neither. Hated. Self. Unkillable. 

Is saved by a goldfish incarnation of Stede. 

But just as the imaginary as Stede's vision of what / who he thinks he needs to be for Ed, this is not true. Life being what it is, Ed and Stede rush when they need to go slow. They break apart because they are saying words, but the other person is hearing based on their own interpretation. 

BTW: The clue Dante-the-writer gives the reader in Canto V of Inferno is how one of the damned lovers, Francesca, explains how she hooked up with her brother-in-law, Paulo. She describes reading an Arthurian romance. She and Paulo kissed when Gwenevere and Lancelot kissed in the story. Except the version they are reading (and Dante tells the reader which version this is) was intended as a cautionary tale. Also, Paulo and Francesca were real people who were murdered by Francesca's husband when he caught them together. So there is that too.

I always like it in fiction when characters misinterpret each other because they hear based on their life experiences and don't hear the things that are said/unsaid based on the life experiences of the other person speaking. That's good writing. It's also how we end up with wildly varying interpretations of works of fiction.

But I digress.

Izzy's S2 arc is that he must let go of his relationship with Ed and turn to others. He must learn to let go of toxic masculinity and let in softness. Not weakness. Water is not weak, but it is soft. Calypso, goddess of the sea, is not weak. Her birthday is whatever day you need it to be. She is vast and deep and soft and relentless. 

In Ro-sham-bo, it's a shame that there is not a gesture for water. Because it is not paper that defeats stone, but water that wears away the stone. Of course, scissors wouldn't do much to water either, so that would sort of break Ro-sham-bo, so I suppose it must stay as it is.

It is through a craft's project that the crew of the Revenge find healing. Turn Izzy into the unicorn. A unicorn that Izzy's own actions caused to be decapitated with a British cannon ball in S1. That Izzy rendered legless (drunk). But the Revenge is a boat. They just need to swim/sail. It is through a craft's project that Izzy is able to offer healing to Lucius, who in turn is then able to turn their art away from fixating on Ed, and the trauma that he's been through and back towards love, and Black Pete. 

But it's not possible to see Izzy's S2 arc, if you didn't interpret S1 Izzy as needing to go through his own gravy basket. 

That Izzy dies because his transformation is necessary. He can't leave Ed, and if he doesn't leave Ed, then Ed can't stop being Blackbeard. The kracken. He literally tells Ed this as he chooses to transform. To free the world of Blackbeard, so Ed can be Ed. Yet, I've read so many posts by folks saying, "But why did he have to die?" Which sure, you can choose not believe what the character says while dying.

Which is a narrative privilege. To get a good dying speech. "There he is" get to be transmutted from an attack to an actual seeing. The larger than life concept of a smoke headed pirate can waft away.

Stories are hard to kill. They live on long past us, and as long as someone is remembered, especially in a universe like OFMD, we live. 

Though always reject the gift of a clock. That's someone telling you that you've only got so many hours left of life. If you are a character in a story. 

Thus the other parallel in this season is Izzy to Auntie and Ed to Zheng Yi Sao. Auntie must allow Zheng softness. Izzy must go through a sea change to something new and strange. Also, this would be a case of Doylistically the writers needed to line up Olu with Stede for that to work, and thus the new configurations of Olu and Jim's relationship, which, shrug, could be poly. Could be friends to lovers to friends.  Woulda, coulda, had more time, but that's on Max for not giving us 2 more episodes.

Prince Richard was trying to become a concept, but was too in love with the mechanics of it. Stede was trying to become a concept too. Found his fame, and all too quickly the toxic end of that particular route. Magical Realism was on his side until he tried to face down Zheng Yi Sao, the Queen of Pirates, and then the rules of the story weren't. Because those clocks were ticking. Everyone was in a very dark wood. The memory of blood splashed on Stede's face as a little boy was a warning. It was a reminder. It was the wrong lessons we take from our childhood and must unlearn to become whole.

Having the final shot of the show being Buttons landing on the unicorn leg as a reminder that this is a show about transformation. One thing becoming another thing. Somewhere the dead are dancing in Calypso's court. A dance below the sea and on the sea and with the sea. While the living keep sailing on their magic ship to do…I don't know. 

Because the Golden Age of Piracy is coming to an end. They'll go create new worlds and new places to be. Transforming.

If we get no more of the show, this is a resolution.

Since I've been quoting Dante, I'm going to end this with the final vision in Paradiso. Because folks who haven't been reading my analysis for the last 30 years / read it, may not realize that the Divine Comedy (a story that begins in sorrow and ends in joy) ends with the vision of a 3 way rainbow. 

"In the profound and shining Being of the deep Light, three circles appeared, of three colours, and one magnitude: one seemed refracted by the other, like Iris’s rainbows, and the third seemed fire breathed equally from both. O how the words fall short, and how feeble compared with my conceiving!…Power, here, failed the deep imagining: but already my desire and will were rolled, like a wheel that is turned, equally, by the Love that moves the Sun and the other stars."

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd season 2 #ofmd analysis #ofmd meta

[ethereallocs]

I Will Break You (Chp 2.)

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen (Pirate) x Fem OC (Mermaid/Siren)

Word Count: 2,116

Content/Warning(s): !!18 PLUS!!, Non-Con/ Dub-Con, Violence, Masturbation, p in v penetration, taking virginity, Choking, Descriptions of Blood/Violence, Abduction, Obsession, Toxic.

Author’s Notes: This is set within The Golden Age of Piracy (1650 to 1726). I don’t know why I thought of this, but I think the best stories are the ones that just pop into your head. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 2.

After such a gruesome transformation she had become “human” her webbed fingers were now separated. Her sharp talons were now dull and thin. Her skin was pale and flawless and the gills on the side of her ribs were gone. She was now completely exposed to Aemond and seeing her this way only made him want her more. He held her tight while she shook uncontrollably in his arms. He could tell this was traumatic for her but he also knew that the small comfort he provided would make her more subservient to him. The crew call “LAND HO!!” and he knew he was back home.

He wrapped her in linens and when they were fully docked he quickly whisked her away and placed her in a room with a small window. So she could see the ocean, but it wasn’t big enough for her to try and make an escape. He place her on the bed and chained her wrist to a the bedpost. She was exhausted and had passed out on the way there. He looked at her face so pure and unknowing. She had no idea what kind of man he was. How cruel and cold he could be but she would soon find out. His calloused fingers grazed her soft cheeks and those supple lips. He felt himself growing hard in his breeches and he groaned softly.

He removed the linens from her naked form and he inhaled sharply while his hand grabbed at his crotch hoping for some relief. He couldn’t hold back anymore. His hand reached into his pants and pulled his throbbing cock from its prison. His hand tugging roughly at his cock he groaned watching her sleep her precious skin and supple breasts pushing him further. He was tempted to touch her but did not want to risk waking her. He imagined how her beautiful voice would sound once he was inside her. The way her voice would rise and fall with every sigh of pleasure.

He shiver softly feeling himself coming closer to his climax. He tugged harder and faster his teeth digging into the flesh of his bottom lip as he released into the same linen he wrapped her in falling into the bed slightly. She tossed a bit and he stood quickly removing the linen from her bed and getting himself together before he left her to get some rest. She tossed and turned throughout the day her dreams being filled with the dreaded night she was captured. She could feel his hands wrapped around her throat squeezing every bit of life she .

She was awakened by a maid coming in to leave clothes for her. “Hello, milady’ I’m Lydia your handmaiden. Master Aemond told me to bring you some clothes to wear and breakfast is almost ready.” She looked confused trying to make out what she was saying, but it was no use. But she did manage to mutter her name. “L…L-Ly-Dee-A.” Lydia looked to her in surprise and giggled in excitement. “Well, that’s a start, miss. I guess I have to teach to ya English.” She saw the chain holding her to the bed and her eyes softened and filled with sadness. She knew the Lord of this home was a ruthless man but he had never brought a lady here against her will. She didn’t think he was capable of such a thing.

Lydia helped her put on a beautiful midnight blue dress with crystals embroidered into the bodice of the dress. She brushed her hair letting her dark tresses flow within their dry natural state. Her hair was wavy and touched the small of her back. She looked over her and was taken aback by her beauty. “You look beautiful, miss.” She looked to Lydia and remembered that look all too well. She smiled and thought maybe she could get her to free her from these chains. The ocean surrounded this place and if she could escape these walls she could swim to freedom.

But just as she was ready to sing her song he barged in. She backed away from the maid and sat on the bed. She shook in fear, her breathing became erratic and the memories of the night before came back in waves. She climbed onto the bed finding a space against the headboard where she pulled her knees to her chest. Aemond’s gaze was cold and unfeeling, but within him was a fire raging. He saw her and his heart pounded against his chest and his stomach felt like it was doing flips. He looked at her as if she was his salvation. Even as she cowered he couldn’t help what he felt for her.

He was filled with complete and utter desire. He couldn’t help himself if Lydia wasn’t standing there he’d take her now, hell he would take her with his whole staff watching her. He burned for her. “Leave us..wait until I call for you to bring up breakfast.” He commanded and Lydia lowered her head as she exited her room. He walked around the large room watching her closely. It killed him to not feel her soft skin in his hands. To smell the scent of salt on her skin. He held his composure and sat at the foot of her bed. His head turned slightly to look at her from the corner of his eye.

“I do not wish for you to be afraid of me…but you must understand that you belong to me now. This is your home now.” She actually understood him very well and could even speak a little, but she would’ve rather these humans think she was incapable of speaking, but in this very moment she was angry. “Home…is water….” How dare he try to keep her in this place like a song bird in a cage. She was made to be free. Being subjected to these stone walls would only kill her slowly. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips and he turned completely to face her.

“You’ve been holding out on me my little sea demon. What else do you know?” He spoke to her so condescendingly. He didn’t even care what this would do to her. He only cared for his own desires. It was just like a human to only care about what he wanted and not what the consequences of his action would be and in a quick fit of rage she sprang forward digging her fangs into his neck. He screamed in agony and she wrapped her arms and legs around him pulling him in close. Her eyes were dark and filled with malice and the flesh of his neck began to tear. She reveled in the sound and the coppery taste of his blood.

Unfortunately, he managed to stand and elbowed her in the ribs over and over until she relented. She smiled at what she had done holding her side and she scurried away into a corner of the room. He held his hand to his neck and one of the male staff came running to his aid. “You fucking wench…you are going to regret that.” He could barely stay on his feet as he stumbled out of her chambers. It served him right the cunt, she thought to herself. She laughed maniacally to herself with crimson staining her chin and face, trickling down her chest and staining her dress. He had forbade any of the staff to come to her room ever again and she stayed isolated for the remainder of the day.

Night had fallen and he decided he’d pay her another visit. The dull brown shade of dried blood was still on your face and he entered with a warm bowl of water and something else in hand that she could not quite make out. He pulled up a chair and beckons her to come to him. She was hesitant for obvious reasons and placed and a clothe into the bowl. “Here you do it, I won’t touch you.” She pulled the bowl away and wiped her face and chest clean.

He watched her closely and noticed her back was turned. Without warning he came from behind pulling something up to her mouth and fastening it around her head. A muzzle…she fought to pull it off but he was too strong for her. “That will teach you to bite the hand that feeds you.” He whispered in her ear and inhaled her scent as his hands began to wander. The slipped into the bodice of her dress feeling those supple mounds of flesh. She fought to pull away from him but he pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his calloused hand around her throat. “You aren’t getting away this time, Demon.”

His breath was hot against her skin and she was in a panic as he tore away her dress exposing her body underneath the sheer chemise that cling to her now sweaty frame. She dug her nails into him trying to pull away from his clutch with all her might. He enjoyed the fight in her as sick as it may sound. The more she fought the more he wanted her. “Please….” She muttered her eyes softened and filled with fear as he stood between her legs ready to take what was rightfully his. That made his cock throb harder within his breeches. "I'm sorry little dove...I can't stop."

He let his breeches fall to his ankles and his cock sprang free. Her eyes widened from the sheer size and she shook her head no over and over. He admired her body while he pressed his cockhead against her puffy clitoris. The sensation sent a shock through her body. The feeling was unfamiliar and a bit pleasant. She shook herself from the hazy feeling and moaned in protest. He stroked himself slowly while he bucked forward letting his head press against her entrance with every push. She gasped with every thrust anticipating the unwanted intrusion. Your sisters often talked about the use of man. To help us procreate and to eat. The process was never this close or intimate.

Lost in her thoughts she was rudely pulled from them when the sharp pain of him pushing inside her caught her attention. She hissed at him instinctively and grabbed onto the sheets of her bed. He groaned involuntarily and the snug feeling of her walls. He pulled back and saw the blood smearing against his shaft and he smiled at the sight. He pushed her legs up against her chest and leaned his head back at the sounds of her soft whimpers and sighs. She despised him, she even wanted to kill him. The thoughts of taking him under the water and watching the light leave his eye always played in her mind, but at this very moment the pain began to subside and the sheer feeling of pleasure filled her belly.

Her legs trembled and her breathing was heavy. He smiled noticing how aroused she had become and he let his right hand grab at her breast pinching her soft pink nipple causing it to harden between his fingers. If looks could kill he would've been decapitated in the act. How dare he muzzle her like some wild animal, violate her, and make her feel good all at the same time. Aemond grew tired of that evil look in her eyes and wrapped his hand around her throat giving just the right amount of pressure to make her lightheaded but still letting her breathe. She didn't know why, but that sent her over the edge. She felt that unsettling feeling in her stomach building as he pounded into her and fell forward on top of her biting into the flesh of her shoulder causing her to scream. "That's it..." He mused into her ear.

That stupid voice of his made her lose her train of thought. He was ready to come undone himself, but he didn't want to stop. His pace quickened and she could no longer hold herself together. Her legs trembled and her blood and slick smeared his cock. He could feel her walls convulsing around him and without another thrust, he poured his seed into her. They lay there in silence. The only thing that could be heard was them catching their breath. He stood to his feet and let his hand graze her thigh. She still lay in the high of her orgasm but when he touched her again she flinched and hissed. "That wasn't enough, huh? Alright... I'll try something else." With that, he put on his clothes and left her to clean herself up.

To be continued...

Tag list (if you're in bold I couldn't tag you): @bouncehousedemons @dahlias-and-marigolds @iiamthehybrid @sirenangelroyal @ashtheshyonee @elegantsplendour

#fic rec #hotd fanfic #read it #hotd series #10/10 reccomend #aemond fanfiction #aemond smut #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #prince aemond #aemond one eye #house of the dragon aemond #aemond x reader #aemond stannies #aemond the kinslayer #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x you #aemond x y/n #aemond fic #pirates #mermaid #sirens #siren oc

[alonetogether]

need more people to understand that the stede v izzy duel wasnt stede just luckily winning whilst fumbling around. (and that stede is a better pirate than izzy) it is literally an encore Fuckery(tm) thought up on the spot. stede literally doesn’t just win, he outsmarts izzy at his own game and im SICK that people still think stede is a fumbling plot armour fool 24/7 like stede has been obsessed with reading and studying piracy his whole life of course he knows about the rule of rendering the other pirates sword inoperable and finds the one possible loophole to cause no bloodshed nor have him be violent in anyway (i am certain this is due to him being 100% conscious towards what ed had told him in the bathtub scene prior). why else do you think he has no surprise on his face when he’s stabbed to the mast? hell he immediately looks smug cause he knows he’s won before izzy even has the thought, immediately he just: did i do it right?

#every day i am blinded by the absolute adoration and respect and love and care and understanding stede and ed have of each other #episode 7 is my favourite for gentlebeard but episode 6 is just. The Best for their Core #ed taught him Fuckery. ed taught him how to miss all the important bits. ed taught him to use ur enemies worst fear against them. #ED TAUGHT STEDE THAT PIRACY ISNT ALL ABOUT BEING GOOD AT FIGHTING AND BLOODSHED BUT USING SMARTS AND GAINING THE UPPERHAND #stedward

[dancing-with-the-madmen]

The Massive Aggression of Calico Jack, redux

Several kind souls have complained brought it to my attention that my failure to use cut tags is, in fact, not optimal. I don't have any good reason that I don't use cuts - mostly I'm just throwing these thoughts out here so they don't endlessly rattle around my brain. Frankly, I'm endlessly astonished anyone but me can be arsed to bother wading through them at all. So, after a truly epic tantrum thoughtful consideration, I've decided to edit my longer posts to add cuts. If you've already read them, (may endless blessings rain down upon you) there's no new content (vile lies and calumny. I'm going to take this opportunity to fix errors and add a line here or there, but nothing major). Just making it more scroll-friendly. You'll know it when you see the word "redux" in the title. So without further ado...

I’ve been trying for a while to put my finger on exactly what it is about Our Flag Means Death's Calico Jack that makes me want to crawl out of my skin and smother him to death with my own abandoned ecdysis.

I mean, I normally love me a spurned admirer/cock-blocking ex. Romantic comedies have their beats, and there’s obviously no serious danger the love interest will end up with anyone other than their intended, so I may as well sit back and enjoy the machinations. After all, the course of true love never did run smooth, and these bitches are here to rough some shit up for sure. I also love Will Arnett. Hands down favorite recurring character on 30 Rock. The second best Batman after TAS (fight me). I can even cheerfully bear his Reese’s commercials if I must bear commercials at all.

Real-life Calico Jack? One of my v. favorite pirates. He wore floral-printed cotton from India as a fuck you to the British tax man. He had an affair with Anne Bonny and offered to purchase her divorce when her husband found out. The two ran away together into piracy when Bonny’s husband refused to quit her and had her whipped for her infidelity. Mary Read was part of Jack and Anne’s crew, and possibly their lover. We love a hopeless romantic, possibly polyamorous king. 

So what is it about OFMD Calico Jack that makes him so acutely punchable?

I’ve rewatched the episode several times (oh my v. dears, I really hope this write-up is worth it. I am SO BRAVE to subject myself to this), and I think I’ve finally got it. It’s not just that he’s a loud, vulgar, hectoring, drunken jackass of a bird-murderer. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have as little patience for his brand of mindless destruction and violence-for-violence-sake as Stede does, but that’s not all.  It’s that he’s also a master of passive aggression.

Jack does the little whisper-y “Sorry! Sorry!” when Stede wants to know what’s with all the cannon fire, but immediately starts grinning like an unrepentant varlet as soon as he drops his hands.

And then accepts Stede’s introductory handshake with clear derision.

When Stede says he wasn’t expecting guests and there’s only two settings at brekkie, Jack doesn’t wait for Stede to sort things out, and he’s already lowering himself into Stede’s chair by the time Stede invites him to take his spot. He then purposefully keeps steering the conversation to topics that exclude Stede from participating, and cuts Stede short when he tries to reign the conversation back.

He insinuates Stede is less of a pirate for being “store bought”

He refuses to get Stede’s name right, even when corrected. Twice.

And is just SO insincere when calling him back.

And, just, the whole pissing contest scene.

But so what? We’ve had other passive aggressive assholes on the show; Badminton with his cracks about Stede’s tiny dick ship, the French captain’s slurs, Gabriel simpering about Jeff the Accountant’s dining manners. I’m not shedding any tears for their respective fates, but none of them made me want to crawl through the screen and sew all their face holes shut. Because Jack isn’t just passive-aggressive (and aggressive-aggressive), he might just be the most savvy reader-of-rooms we see on the show, and purposefully and systematically leverages his passive aggression to manipulate the actions of those around him for the purpose of making Ed and Stede betray their better selves and make them do the work of driving a wedge between themselves.   That was a lot in one sentence.  Let me break it down.

Jack uses passive aggression to achieve one of four goals: to nettle, to undermine, (seemingly paradoxically) to reinforce connections, or to coerce. And, if he can manage to achieve different goals for more than one target with the same attack? So much the better. And he’s frankly just astonishingly good at doing so. Like, I’d admire him for it if it didn’t also make me want to make him swallow all of his own teeth.

The basic gameplan goes thusly (this is not a strictly chronological list, a lot of these tactics take place concurrently and recurrently): Stede is the primary target, so Jack nettles him with passive aggressive comments, which puts him on the back foot and undermines his self-confidence. He reinforces his relationship with Ed in ways that excludes Stede and undermines Stede’s relationship with Ed and Ed’s relationship with Stede. Jack uses coercive tactics with Ed and the crew, which undermines Stede’s relationships with them, isolating and othering Stede, which further tanks his mood, which leads him to self-isolate. When Stede eventually lashes out at Ed for falling for Jack’s bullshit, Ed has no idea what’s got Stede so out-of-sorts; Jack has so carefully lead Ed to making the choices that have alienated Stede that they seem like they were Ed’s ideas in the first place. And if Ed has made the choices to do these things, then they are clearly just a reflection of who he is, which, if Stede is lashing out against them, then Stede is rejecting him. Wedge set and match.

So let’s look at the specifics.

Jack’s interactions with Ed are like a masterclass in neurolinguistic programming for evil. First, he plys Ed with booze from the very start. Just look at the bottle in this shot from right after they blow up the dresser drawer.

That bottle or rum is over half gone, and the sky in the background is the peachy-pink of sunrise. This isn’t the bottle Jack had with him in his dinghy; that one he drained and then threw in the air and tried to shoot before coming aboard the Revenge. Which means that they’ve consumed over half the bottle between just the two of them in a very short amount of time.   Alcohol, of course, is a social lubricant - the physical warmth it produces mimicking the “warm, fuzzy” feeling of true comradery, and, more importantly, decoupling the decision-making process from inhibition (that is to say, Ed isn’t necessarily doing anything he absolutely wouldn’t otherwise do, but he might otherwise think twice).

But it’s more insidious than just having a few drinks with an old friend. Jack specifically gamifies the consumption of alcohol to reinforce the coupling of the feeling of inebriation with the comradery engendered by teamwork and excitement of success in order to encourage Ed to drink more than he necessarily otherwise would. Ed confirms to Stede during his apology that the idea to use the drawers of the armoire for target practice came from Jack, and we saw that a bullseye meant that Jack had to take a drink, but Ed didn’t. Presumably, there would have been some consequence for a “miss”, and it seems likely that it would be Ed has to take a drink and not Jack. In this way, Jack is able to exert a measure of control over how much Ed is drinking (by missing on purpose) while making it look like the responsibility lies with Ed and his skill as a thrower. This pattern of sneakily controlling Ed’s actions while making it seem like Ed is the one who made or is responsible for the decision will pop up again and again during their interactions.

After the apologies for waking Stede, Jack steps into the space where Ed is gesticulating to make himself readily available to be touched, reenforcing the bond between them, but letting Ed be the one to instigate the touching.

At brekkie, he pours rum into Ed’s teacup without asking or being asked while Ed’s attention is diverted by getting food.

Jack’s collaring of the conversation does not just function as a means of making Stede feel excluded, he’s also refreshing and reinforcing the bonds he and Ed forged under adversity. Talking over Stede also demonstrates that what he has to say is more important than anything Stede might contribute.

Note that just before Jack cut him off, Stede had referred to Ed as Blackbeard (“Blackbeard and I met on a ship”). This may be innocently explained away; if you meet a person from a facet of a close friend’s life with which you do not intersect, you might refer to said friend by their given name instead of a nickname that the other person might not know, for the sake of common frame of reference. But this is the opposite of that - referring to a friend by a nickname instead of the given name that you both presumably know. That suggests to me that the seed of the Ed/Blackbeard dichotomy has already been planted in Stede’s mind by the morning’s shenanigans. And when Jack invites Stede back into participating in the conversation by talking about something he knows Stede would find upsetting (the wanton cruelty of Ed purposefully trapping people to be burned alive, couched in what sounds like sincere admiration for his friend’s piratical prowess), Jack has picked up on that distinction and is leaning into it HARD. He WANTS Stede to see Ed as a collection of behaviors he finds palatable, and Blackbeard as a collection of behaviors he finds repulsive, and then coerce Ed into performing those “Blackbeard behaviors” in order to coerce Stede to drive the wedge by rejecting him. Fucking diabolical.

When Jack is calling Stede a “big girl,” or “store-bought,” or purposefully getting his name wrong, he’s not just throwing barbs that play on Stede’s insecurities (and with such harrowing precision, too; calling on the effeminacy for which he was tormented as a child, his body image issues that we’ve also seen him struggle with under the tender mercies of Badminton - both brain-ghost and original flavor - and the authenticity of his claim to piracy, which we’ve seen him confess that he fears he’s ill-qualified to claim to Jim, Oluande, and Ed. I mean,triple bullseye for this fucking guy). He’s also using these public declarations to undermine Stede’s authority in front of his crew, and establish himself as the real authority on things like piracy and masculinity. He further reinforces this idea by withholding the story of how he saved Ed’s life under the guise of false modesty; people never want something more than when they’re told they can’t have it. And what they’re being told they can’t have is the story of how Jack was so amazing that he even managed to save the life of the coolest, most legendary pirate they know. This withholding primes the crew to think even more highly of Jack and hang on his every word.

This puts Jack into a position where he can pressure the crew into things that sound fun at first blush (like diving off the yardarm or having a snowball fight, but with coconuts), but end up hurting more than anything. Of course, within this dynamic, no one wants to admit they aren’t having a good time, or don’t want to do it; to do so would be tantamount to admitting you are less of a man or not a real pirate. So when Stede refuses to participate, or admits his discomfort or disgust with the proceedings, he’s doing Jack’s work for him, and further alienating himself, and solidifying the roles Jack had put into place where Jack is the fun, cool guy, and Stede is the killjoy that no one should listen to.

Stede unwittingly plays right into Jack’s design when he tries to stand up for himself and wrest back a modicum of respect before things get too far out of hand. He’s well-versed in the world of passive aggression, and sees what Jack is doing. He also knows that you can’t call it out because passive aggression comes with a built in cover of plausible deniability gaslighting. So instead, he tries to push back with a little passive aggression of his own, suggesting that a real pirate has a ship and a crew. Sadly, Stede is not nearly so adroit at wielding passive aggression as Jack is. Jack uses the story (and we know that Izzy sent him, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole mutiny thing is just a story; I could even easily read that slight hesitation after Stede asks his question as Jack deciding on what would be the most effective cover story, instead of hesitancy to admit to something shameful) of his crew’s mutiny to casually re-sow the idea of mutiny on the Revenge. It’s played for comedy when the crew starts talking about how they almost mutinied on Stede and probably will again, but you can’t tell me this hasn’t been a major concern for Stede ever since the first episode. So Jack’s not only got the crew trying to buoy his spirits by assuring him that his crew mutinying on his doesn’t mean he’s a bad person; it’s just something that happens! He’s also got them low-key committing to a future mutiny WITHIN EARSHOT OF STEDE.

Additionally, while Stede is well-steeped in the ways of passive aggression, his crew and Ed are not. They are not particularly sophisticated at identifying passive aggression on its own merits as opposed to the reaction it provokes, which can make it look like they don’t care when it’s being leveraged against Stede, undermining his ability to trust they will look out for him. Stede stoically putting up with Jack’s jibes makes them even more difficult to identify as hurtful. Jack’s (fake) emotional reaction to Stede’s sally might make him look momentarily weak, but allows Ed and the crew to unequivocally identify who is in the wrong and react accordingly. By positioning himself as a victim, he villainizes Stede, further undermining Stede’s authority, and placing him in a position where he owes Jack recompense. Thus, Jack is able to manipulate Stede into the trap of Dead Man’s Cove and make it look like it was Stede’s own idea. I mean, the Xanatos Speed Chess of it all.

What’s heartbreaking to me is how Jack’s wedge-driving and othering of Stede is working so well that at this point we start to hear it from other sources. As they approach the island and Stede suggests going for a swim or taking a nature walk, Ed is the one who tells him, “I think with this crowd, I think they want something a little more…” Not Jack would want something more exciting, this crowd. Jack’s exclusionary rhetoric out of Ed’s mouth.

Which is exactly the time Jack decides to up the ante.

I want to take a minute to look at the immediate lead up to yardies, because I think it’s an excellent illustration of how Jack looks like a lumbering boor, but his actions are actually so carefully considered and nuanced. He runs up from behind Stede and Ed and throws his arms around them shouting “Yardies!” literally insinuating himself between them, which interrupts anything that was going on between them, puts them off balance, and focuses the attention on him. Then, when he says “Who’s up for yardies?” he makes eye-contact with Ed - the implicit social expectation being “You, Ed, are up for yardies.” When he turns to Stede, it is to literally laugh in his face. I mean, the absolute cheek.

Until this point, the crew of the Revenge have been passive participants in Jack’s hooliganry. They watched him perform whippies, and got whipped at without encouraging him to do so. They listened to his and Ed’s stories. But now Jack is cashing in on his established expertise of what real pirates do to coerce the crew into taking part in a dangerous stunt. It’s more of the “Blackbeard behavior” dichotomy he started sowing in Stede’s mind at brekkie, but now he’s extending it beyond Ed to the whole crew. He wants Stede to feel like he’s all alone in a sea of idiocy, but he wants him to come to the conclusion on his own by making it seem like Ed and the crew are doing things of which he would disapprove of their own accord.

Once we get to the island, we see the activities take a turn from the careless Jackass-ery of whippies and yardies to the abject cruelty of turtle vs. crab. There’s no saying that Jack organized the fight, but we do see the crew handing him various trinkets to be used in gambling on a winner, which certainly suggests he was the central figure in how the game was established. We also see that, though he has been presenting himself as a drunkard, there’s no bottle in his hand or around him in the sand. There is, however, one in Ed’s hand, who is directly to his side. I can easily see him handing it off so he could handle the gambling stakes, the real intention being to keep Ed readily supplied with booze.

And then we have the pissing contest. Jack’s got Stede literally and metaphorically isolated, and now it’s time to really drive it all home. Every moment of their interaction is designed to drive Stede to distraction; the amount of derision he lays on the phrase “Your good, close buddy,” the insinuation that he and Ed are just alike, and then being as rude and crass as possible. And because he’s read the room - the intimate breakfast for two, Ed’s little touches and the way Stede smiles at them, the way they keep going off together for little chats - of course Jack’s just got to twist the knife and allude to his and Ed’s former sexual history. So now that he’s got Stede primed, it’s time to name the fear: “Maybe you don’t know him at all.”

At this point, Stede is left to wonder: does he? Blackbeard’s reputation preceded him, after all. And he’s been acting so differently since the appearance of one of his oldest friends. It’s not the violence qua violence, per se; Stede is by turns delighted and impressed by the violence he’s seen Ed and his crew employ in the heat of battle in the pursuit of piracy. It’s the cruel and senseless violence that Stede objects to, and that’s exactly the brand that Jack has been peddling, and which Ed has gone along with so enthusiastically. And it’s not JUST the violence; Ed apologizes for Jack when he recognizes Jack has crossed a line in a typically agro way (destroying Stede’s belongings, and insulting Stede to his face), but it never occurs to Stede that his insistence on persevering with quietly aggrieved dignity in the face of Jack’s slights would make it nigh impossible for Ed to identify that Jack has crossed all sorts of other lines, and Stede is hurting because of it. For Stede, it must be frustrating and mystifying why Ed keeps letting his friend get away with his passive aggressive bullshit. Doesn’t he care? 

Is it any wonder that one more failure to notice how Jack has riled him, and one more act of coconut-flavored Jackass-ary is enough to break the dam, and for Stede to spill all that built-up hurt on Ed?  Is it any wonder that Ed is bewildered at where all this is coming from? I’ve talked before about Ed’s tendency to fawn on people, and how, as an emotional chameleon, he would have difficulty identifying when the motivation for his actions is self-directed or externally dictated. Jack has further confounded this distinction by manipulating scenarios to make it seem like participation in all the Jackass-ary he has instigated was voluntary instead of coerced. When Stede says “I don’t like who you are around  this guy” what he means is “I don’t like how this guy is able to manipulate you into acting on your very worst impulses”, but what Ed hears is “I don’t like you”. For who is he, if not the collection of behaviors he chooses to exhibit? And were those choices not entirely his to make? With the rift clearly established, if in its infancy, of course Jack is going to do everything he can to foster its growth. So again, he interrupts Stede, again implicitly signaling that Ed should pay attention to what he says and not Stede. By lobbing the coconut at Ed at that moment, he forestalls any possible clearing of the air between Ed and Stede, and causes Ed to literally turn his back on Stede, in the way Ed feels Stede has emotionally turned his back on him just moments earlier. Jack reinforces this idea of turning his back on Stede again moments later when he says “Don’t go!” and immediately turns Ed around by the shoulders.

I know that I’ve been laying it on a bit thick and prolly sound like the written embodiment of the red string conspiracy meme, but I’m about to get a whole lot worse, and I’m going to ask you to stick with me, oh my v. dears. I think Jack killed Karl on purpose.

I know, I know. It was an accident! He was flailing drunkenly! But was he?

Have we seen him take so much as a single drink since the cannon fire at the beginning of the episode? Even though he’d been drinking earlier, did he not have devastating precision and accuracy when he first demonstrated Whippies - shattering every glass, snapping the cards from the Swede’s fingers, and ball-tapping Ed without permanently maiming him or even splitting the leather of his pants? In fact, while nearly every other crew member on the deck has a bottle in hand, just like on the beach, Jack does not.

Jack knows he has to get Ed off the ship before the British show up, but he can’t just say “Let’s ditch these losers” and expect Ed to agree, especially since he’s spent most of the day roping the crew into his schemes. The most effective way to get Ed to follow is if Jack is rejected for just being himself and doing what he does, just like Ed feels he was earlier by Stede. I think the original plan was to goad Olu into seriously hurting the Swede, the fallout of which would be recriminations that Jack made them do it, and Jack getting aggrieved that he was just trying to show this ungrateful lot how to have a good time, skulking off and leading Ed to follow him and reassure him that he’s really a good guy - how could he have known it would turn out like that? But when Buttons calls a halt to the proceedings and it looks like everyone is going to pack it in, Jack has to think fast. If HE maims a crew mate, that would be a bridge too far, painting him as the bad guy. But Karl? He’s just a bird. And if Jack can get a little revenge on the weird bird guy who made him change his plan, so much the better. AND, as people with far fewer auditory processing issues than I have pointed out, Jack mutters that he expected there to be more feathers. Could the evidence be any more damning?

Of course the whole ship turns on him, and then here’s Stede to order him off, explicitly rejecting him the way he metaphorically rejected Ed. But when even that isn’t enough to get Ed to follow him, Jack pulls out one last, desperate manipulation - the debt of life.

Jack’s tragic flaw is that he can’t turn it off. Once he and Ed are alone, he turns his passive aggressive assault on Ed, pressuring him into drinking the morning away by sarcastically saying he didn’t know he had an audience with the pope when Ed expresses disinterest, and, ultimately, giving up the game when he mentions with casual derision how he’d heard of Ed shaking up with Stede, and then deriding Ed for his failure to spot Jack’s machinations.

Too bad Jack didn’t know that the punishment for passive-aggressive fuckery on this show is death…

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #calico jack

[elliewiltarwyn]

Elilgeim "Ellie" Wiltarwyn

B A S I C S

Name: Elilgeim Wiltarwyn

Nicknames: 'Geim by childhood friends; Ellie by Mia at the end of ARR and by everyone (or at least those she knows) halfway through HW; El by her partners

Age: 24 in ARR, hc'ing that it's four years to the end of 6.0 and then another year or so to 6.55 -- so at present, 29ish

Nameday: 9th Sun of the Sixth Umbral Moon

Race: Sea Wolf Roegadyn

Gender: (trans) female

Orientation: Lesbian

Profession: Conjurers' Guild member, then Warrior of Light; would probably still be a conjurer, or scholar or even a writer in non-WoL AUs

P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C  T S

Hair: Red, usually shoulder-length when down, but in a ponytail most of the time. She usually brushes it until it's silky and clean, but recently somebody *coughdefinitelynot@oneiroycough* mussed it into a really messy kinda-butch look and she's found herself really liking it :V

Eyes: sort of the same slightly-cool blue as the tumblr dashboard you're probably reading this on >.>

Skin: Seafoam green-ish

Tattoos/scars: Slightly-pale red streak across her cheekbones and nose. Plenty of scars, one light one over her eye from Pearl Lane and more all over her torso; Zenos gave her the two biggest ones, one on her side at Rhalgr's Reach and one directly in the middle of her chest in Ultima Thule.

F A M I L Y

Parents: Father was Wiltitar, a retired Storm Captain, most well-known for retiring from and renouncing piracy and throwing his support behind Merlwyb Bloefhiswyn's Galadion Accord; met an untimely end in an alleyway mugging. (This does mean her surname should be Wiltitarwyn, and there's no good in-universe reason it's not. >.>) Mother is Keltbryda, a renowned and well-loved physician who mysteriously vanished, thought dead. Near the end of EW... Ellie discovers she was actually summoned to Sharlayan to lend her skills to the ark project. They definitely have a very normal conversation about this.

Siblings: None by blood, but she does have a childhood friend from school that she considers a sister this friend does not exist yet beyond that concept

Grandparents: A little too far back for me to think about >.>

In-laws and Other: None, really, because...by the time she marries her partners, none of their blood families are in their lives anymore either >.> (technically I think Lily's family is still alive, mom and nunh and two younger sisters, but she hasn't seen them in years)

Pets: Fat Cat is definitely canon, although I haven't figured out its name yet. also debating whether Rudy photobombing their holiday photos and stealing her nameday cake is canon and he just lives with them now.

S K I L L S

Abilities: Surprisingly in tune with the elementals of Gridania (though not enough to be necessarily okay with them) and thus fairly skilled at white magic/conjury. After a Very Certain Event in HW, she picks up a claymore and learns how to swing a greatsword and becomes even more in tune with her inner darkness. She picks up the reaper arts for EW, then post-EW drops them and learns martial arts from Lyse and her contacts in the Fists of Rhalgr.

Hobbies: Reading and studying, training, picks up sailing and fishing after EW.

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: An extremely strong and confident sense of justice/conviction of what's right and wrong.

Most Negative Trait: Gets tunnel vision frequently and is quick to leap to the most direct solution, no matter how unfeasible or unwise.

L I K E S

Colors: Red red red red red almost all the way up and down lol, and black for accents. Blue's a close runner-up, though.

Smells: the coast of Vylbrand, the steel of bloodied armor, coffee

Textures: Aetherwoven robes and corrugated steel; calloused hands and rough skin; surprisingly soft almost-silky hair

Drinks: Coffee, either pitch black or very specifically a spoonful of milk and one sugar cube

O T H E R    D E T A I L S

Smokes: She did occasionally during the period of her life she spent on Pearl Lane, and will maybe take one if offered in the present, but she doesn't of her own accord anymore.

Drinks: Nope, even before the events of MSQ she did not have a great tolerance; after the multiple attempted poisonings (and as the one who was specifically blamed at the bloody banquet) she swears it off entirely.

Drugs: Not of her own accord again, but she will if offered recreationally.

Mount Issuance: Her red chocobo named Typhoon; she also uses the Garlond GL-II on loan from the Ironworks as long as she doesn't crash it. She's come close a couple of times.

Been Arrested: Likely a few times when in Pearl Lane, then less so as she got better about avoiding them, but not since becoming a conjurer.

---------

thanks for the tag @oneiroy!! I'm not sure who all's done this so uh forgive the double-tag if it is one, but I will tag... @eidingate @amons-hat-enthusiast @idalenn @starrysnowdrop @akirakirxaa, and of course you 🫵 if this strikes your fancy!

#tag games #wol questions #sorta lol #femroe #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #onei i like your idea that there's no pressure if tagged just consider it an evil boop otherwise lol

[jinbrook]

Timeskip Arlong Pirates. Rahhh

Arlong:

- Broke out of prison

- Finally. Good hat,,,

- Metal brace for his broken ass nose

- Still a pirate and still a piece of shit

- Also still sucks and is dumb and weak

- No real crew

Kuroobi:

- Arlong broke him out as well, but he didn't follow, remorseful and guilty for what he did to Nami and her village

- Fled to the smallest, most isolated rainforest island he could find and set his new life up there, intent on being as absolutely far away from Nami as he possibly could get (of course this didn't work)

- Still...dumb. really dull too

- Built his own house, it sucks. Got a hole in the roof. No door (Franky goes through he'll getting a new one built)

- Favorite activities include meditation, yoga, fishing, and karate (that's all he can do really)

- Arlong tattoo on his side, covers with body paint

Chew:

- Also broken out of prison. Also left Arlong and piracy

- Takes to constantly moving to avoid Nami. Is found quicker.

- Avid sailor despite quitting piracy, sails from island to island doing small jobs for money to restock

- Extended tattoo on his arm to cover Arlong tattoo

- Scar is from Usopp beating him with that hammer like 102390201 bajillion times

- May or may not confront Arlong...may or may not die,

Lil doodles V

#one piece #one piece fanart #arlong pirates #arlong the saw #kuroobi #chew #choo #chuu

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

I don’t care about his haters I want to hear about buggy’s qualities 😭😭😭

i let this one sit in my inbox for a while because your phrasing kept making me laugh. i hope you don’t mind the delayed response.

buggy’s qualities! (note i did not specify good qualities or bad qualities.) let’s get into them.

already established in that post:

greedy (obviously)

selfish (obviously)

two-faced (very obviously)

loyal (limited applications)

self-preserving (a strong instinct)

untrustworthy (almost comically obviously so)

trusting (to the point of naïveté)

an interesting, contradictory lineup. what else is there to buggy?

he has very romantic notions of piracy.

despite saying the only thing that matters to him is treasure & the acquisition thereof, the way he acts says otherwise. he parties at the drop of a hat (improving crew morale). when his crew, thinking he’s dead, has moved on, even going so far as to adopt a new captain and flag (after… how long have they been apart, exactly? weeks? days?), he rescues them, no questions asked. he weeps to hear how badly he was missed after his arrest, how proud his crew was to hear of his involvement at the paramount war, and he returns both sentiments instantly. the captain-crew bond means something to him. (small wonder why.)

he turns up his nose at crocodile’s deeply unromantic “piracy is a business” mindset—buggy doesn’t care about building capital, he wants to find the one piece! who needs a five-year plan when you can just find the biggest, best treasure that ever existed right now?!

oh, hey, related to that:

he’s impulsive.

why make a plan when you can just do things?! who needs to learn anything from these soft-hearted pirates—buggy’s got a treasure map and a devil fruit worth more money than he’s ever seen in his life! he’s gonna head out on his own ASAP! that should be no problem at all… for this pre-teen… on the grand line. mm hm.

he wants to get back on the grand line and find the one piece—or captain john’s treasure—or any other treasure he finds a map for, really. how? well, he’ll follow the map, obviously! …and when that leads him into danger?

he can be inattentive.

more specifically, he gets fixated on his goal—treasure, killing luffy, silently panicking, yelling at shanks, whatever—to the point that he somehow misses everything else going on around him. does not notice shanks walking up behind him—twice. does not notice smoker or his officers surrounding his men until it’s too late. walks into a cave that’s actively being mined because he thinks treasure might be there. walks into a well-appointed navy garrison because he thinks treasure might be there!

he doesn’t notice he’s standing next to whitebeard—you know, the nearly twenty-two foot tall man—until he hears the guy call him by an insulting name.

buggy makes rash decisions and has a short temper—a dangerous combination.

he hears insults where none are intended, and lashes out violently—maybe lethally?—and sometimes when insults are intended, he doesn’t bother to wonder who’s offered the insult until after he’s fired one back. at which point he may wilt like a daisy, if the person he’s insulted turns out to be, say, whitebeard.

(why yes, i do think that moment is hysterical. not least because i suspect whitebeard cannot remember buggy’s name, and calls him red-nose because that’s all he does remember about him.)

but even at his most weak-kneed, fawn response, pathetic little guy, we have to keep in mind:

he’s charismatic and inspirational.

and i’m not just talking about the impel down guys! his original crew were just as impressed by him—though maybe impressed and terrified in equal measure?—at the start of the orange town arc. they were confident in his victory over these three weirdos to the point of cockiness, just laughing when zoro cut buggy down. they’re really shaken when luffy, after a few minutes of devil fruit v devil fruit combat, totally curb-stomps buggy. they prefer to believe he’s just not taking the fight seriously yet.

they’re fully convinced of his strength, cleverness, and power!

…now i’m not saying their impression of him is based in reality.

buggy’s an excellent bullshitter.

but it’s not enough to just tell a good lie, you also have to be convincing about it. (usopp, early on, is more entertaining than convincing—a good liar of a different flavor. storyteller, not self-promoter.) and while there are plenty of characters who can see through buggy’s act (to name a few: alvida, galdino, luffy (sometimes), most of luffy’s crew, most of the named characters who broke out of impel down…), there are plenty who can’t.

buggy’s “who am i?!”/“captain buggy!” chanting with his crew is not super original, maybe, but it sure gets his men pumped up. his “let’s go after the one piece!” rant in ch 1082 doesn’t impress crocodile or mihawk, but when he airs it to cross guild as a whole it sets things in motion such that the two of them can’t do shit to stop it.

…and that’s buggy as i see him, more or less! let me know if you think i’ve forgotten something! i certainly may have, or i may have lumped the trait you’re thinking of in under one of these other headings, but you won’t know unless you ask.

#asked and answered #one piece #buggy #*buggy’s insecurities

[adickaboutspoons]

bad writing where? I don't think you know what bad writing is and I have doubts you understand the core of the characters.

Hi Nonnie! Girl, how ARE you? Because you seem to be taking it awfully personally that I am not enjoying this season as much as you are. To be perfectly clear, if you ARE, I'm DELIRIOUSLY happy for you! I wish I was too! I was SO looking forward to it! And even though I didn't care for some stuff here and there for the first half of the season, there was a LOT that I LOVED, and I was still holding out hope for the rest of the season! After the last 3 episodes, I am decidedly less optimistic. I'm glad to tell you exactly why, and At Great Length, because that's kind of just What I Do, but here's the thing... It's ok if you like a thing that other people don't. It doesn't reflect poorly on you as a person. You don't have to defend a thing that you like as though it was an extention of yourself. Also? You and I don't have to agree. There's room for interpretation. I have mine, but that doesn't make it Objective Truth. My positions are only as good as I can offer coherent, well-supported arguements to back them up. I like doing that. I think it's fun. You may still not be convinced. That's ok. I don't need you to agree with me. And, frankly, you don't even need to worry about other people agreeing with me. I am small potatoes. I have maybe two posts ever that have made it into the low thousands in terms of notes - not reblogs, but notes cumulative. Most of my original stuff don't even break triple digits. Believe me NO ONE is rushing to espouse the doctrine of spoondick llc. And that's fine. So I'm gonna go ahead and give you the benefit of the doubt that you're asking genuine questions and not just lashing out. But I'm also gonna put my answers below a cut. Because, frankly, you may not entirely agree with me, but you also may not be able to unsee some of the things I point out once I do, and I don't want to take your enjoyment of the show away from you.

So second claim first: that I don't understand the core of the characters. I mean... I have written quite a lot and at length about these characters and their motivations. I mean, each of those is a link to a different meta I've written, and it's not even close to all of them. Which reminds me - I need to update my pinned page. So while you may not agree with my interpretations, at the v. least, you can't argue that I haven't put SOME thought into the matter. With regard to bad writing, the qualifiers may vary from person to person, but to me, it mainly comes down to three interconnected things: Inconsistency, telling rather than showing, and contrivance. I feel that there have been a LOT of inconsistencies with the characters, both between seasons and just within season 2 itself. I'm an unapologetic Stede girlie and he IS the main character, so most of my big qualms are with how his character is being butchered handled.

How the are we supposed to square Stede "had multiple breakdowns over Nigel's accidental death and was so traumatized over everything with Chauncy that he walked back to Bridgetown in his bare feet" Bonnet with the man from last night who murdered Ned in cold blood, and then went on to casually set a man on fire and QUIP about it? It's one thing to butch up with a "how to pirate" montage, it's quite another to become a psychopath, completely unbothered by taking a human life.

And about butching up. While I would, and have, argued that a lot of Stede's insecurities in the first season stemmed from insufficient performance of masculinity, I would NOT say that it was because he wanted to BE more typically masc himself - but rather from the way he has been TREATED for being soft, and internalizing the distain and derision of his bullies. Rather, the whole central thesis to his approach to piracy is it's "traditionally a culture of abuse... And my thought is: why? And also, what if it weren’t like that?" He's flattered when Yi Sao clocks his energy as soft. So his mid-season pivot to needing to embrace these "traditional pirate" behaviors? Yeah - I'd say that's a pretty glaring inconsistency.

Speaking of Yi Sao, lets talk about his fight with her. Because Stede in the first season is consistently shown to be a master of improvisation and using his environment and people's underestimation of him to his advantage to overcome stronger and more skilled opponents. He sends Officer Show Daddy rowing back to the British ship with some impromptu mannequins to give the Revenge time to escape after Nigel's death. He uses distraction and supersition to get the upper hand on Izz during their first encounter. He bests Izzy again in the duel using gunpowder to the eyes when he's pinned, and then using what Ed taught him about taking a stab angling to have it happen against a mast he knew would cause Izzy's sword to break. This initially carries over to the second season with Stede using his lowly position in Towels to acclimate people to deeply inhaling the scent he adds to the towels, and later uses that to his advantage to knock out the guards and escape. So it might have been one thing if Stede was in his cups and mourning Ed's departure that led him to getting overly possessive of his remaining crew and pick a fight with Zheng as a parallel of the Art Exhibition scene from season 1, and getting his ass handed to him as a parallel to Mary's attempted murder/an expression of what a deep impact Ed leaving has made on him that his normal strategizing fails him, but instead, he's getting emotional support (from IZZY of all people) and doesn't even seem tipsy, so he's got no reason to fail so profoundly, and it's played as though Yi Sao is RIGHT about him being "a mediocre man who thinks he's exceptional" when he legit JUST bested her with fucking tea towels 4 episodes ago.

Another big inconsistency for me is Stede's attitude toward Ed, over the first half of the season especially. At the end of season 1, we have Stede irrevocably torching his life as a gentleman of leisure to the ground because Mary has helped him to realize that 1) no body's life in improve by him doggedly trying to insert himself into a life he never wanted or chose for himself, and 2) he and Ed are in love with one another, and he should got find Ed about that. Then we get Stede dragging his heels in the Republic of Pirates while he "earns enough money," but his convo with Blackbeard's wanted poster reveals that he's afraid Ed's life is better off without him. Which? Real Chauncy-coded take there (and also, really? When Stede KNOWS that Ed is weary of the pirate life, but the wanted poster and rumor mill suggest he's thrown himself into it full tilt?). I could understand being worried that Ed doesn't love him anymore because Stede broke his heart, but NOT that "his life is better." But still, Stede IS determined to get back to Ed - he's just nervous about what he'll find when he does. He won't stop talking about it to anyone and everyone. He even yeets himself overboard shouting for Ed when he hears that the Red Flag has come across the Revenge. And then he thinks that he's come too late - that Ed is dead. And he manages to forestall his grief over that long enough to effect an escape, but then goes to do his mourning in private. But wonder of wonders! Ed is still alive! Stede didn't lose him after all! Imagine the rapture within his heart! And then he lets Ed leave without so much as offering to come with, when Ed has barely recovered from 1) a coma, & 2) a suicide attempt. It just doesn't make any sense in any possible world.

I also have a big problem with Mr. "Talk it through as a crew" running away from Lucius when he finally started opening up about the traumtic things he's lived through since he got shoved overboard. I've seen some posts suggesting Stede isn't doesn't prioritize or seem to care much about his crew, but that's just demonstrably not true? His first concern on awakening from being gut-stabbed was about his crew. He apologized when he lost his temper about the fuckery (Never heard an apology, Roach? Really?) and incorperated all of their ideas into the final product. Before he bought the treasure map, he inquired and found out there were no oranges for sale in St. Augustine due to a blight. Stede let Olu crash on his couch instead of having him bunk down with the rest of the crew because they were the charter members of the "my crush just left me for their old life" club and misery loves company. Even in the new season, he set aside his grief over Ed until he made sure his crew - INCLUDING the ones he thought were the ones who MURDERED THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE - were safe. So Stede running away from Lucius in his moment of unburdening himself? And it being played for COMEDY? Is not only antithetical to the established character, but to the central thesis of change being effected by the application of loving support that (I THOUGHT) was central to the whole show.

With Ed, it's mostly better, but even he doesn't escape unscathed. I'm absolutely baffled by the suggestion in episode 5 that Ed doesn't know how to be quiet and sit with his feelings when we see him: 1) stimming quietly with his silk after the "donkey" comment until Stede invited him to open up 2) stimming quietly with his silk after the French Boat Party 3) staring broodingly out to sea after the doggy heaven convo 4) isolating himself in the tub after his kraken meltdown 5) quietly sitting and folding socks 6) pillow fort isolation pod 7) standing quiet and alone after the Izzy confrontation, and apparently not seeing anyone until that night 8) stimming with silk before giving Lucius impromptu late night swimming lessons 9) playing with his dollies 10) cry alone in his room multiple times And maybe it's just that Fang doesn't see those times, because, for the most part, Ed self-isolates when he's feeling particularly emotionally vulnerable. But the show frames it as though Fang is correct? Especially in the after-credits scene where we're listening to Ed's non-stop internal monologue as he fails to sit quietly?

There's more with other characters, but, like I said, the categories are overlapping and inform one another, so I'd like to pivot to Tell-Don't-Show. Because whooo boy is there a lot of it going on. The most glaring one to me is Izzy's whole arc. I've seen a lot of people talking about extending unearned grace and how it's for the healing of the crew, not for Izzy, and that the crew are showing that they've embraced the loving support model they experienced under Stede's tenure as captain. But that doesn't change the fact that Izzy was SUCH a dick that even human-ray-of-sunshine-OLU was rooting for Stede to stab him in the duel, and by the end of last season Izzy sold them out to the English and did such a shit job at captaining that the crew (of which Fang and Frenchie were a part) unanimously voted to throw him overboard bound hand-and-foot. SOMETHING must have happened in the interim to move the needle from "gleefully ready to murder him" to "giving him hugs and unconditional positive regard therapy". But whatever it was happened entirely off-camera. We're just being asked to go along with it. And, to me, that's just bad, lazy writing.

The rest of his arc isn't much better, and highlights more of those inconsistencies. Last season, Izzy was openly dismissive and derisive about sharing feelings - it was one of his driving motivations at taking down Ed and inducing the Krakening. And now he seems to have taken the season-1-Lucius role of being the ship's emotional intelligence? Offering coping advice to Lucius. Suggesting to Ed that he should talk his feelings through. Giving support to Stede after Ed left him (again). Where would he even have accrued that skillset? I'm not saying that it's impossible for him to have changed with the loving support of his crew and in the wake of an identity crisis when he has to figure out who he is if not Blackbeard's right-hand man. What I'm saying is that very little of the actual changes happened on camera. And THAT'S what I have a problem with.

Similarly, I have a problem with the whole Yi Sao-Olu-Jim-Archie relationship tangle. Olu didn't even seem to realize Yi Sao was flirting with him until she said as much. I think he was flattered by the attention, and not averse to the idea, but that's not the same thing as being into her in return. And then, when it's relevant to the plot, we're meant to just trust that he's been secretly pining this whole time? Compare to when Jim left - before they'd even kissed. Olu spent his time mooning over the railing, telling everyone how much he missed JIm, getting drunk, and giving away his room. Since he left Yi Sao, there's been not a single word about missing her, not a moment where he even looks slightly broody. We HAVE seen him bonding with Jim and Archie. Hunkering down against the curse on the same bed as Jim and Archie. Dancing with Jim and Archie. Do you see how this LOOKS like the show is possibly moving in a throuple direction? And then we suddenly get Olu saying out of nowhere that he misses Yi Sao, Jim playing matchmaker for them, and Olu announcing that he's going to leave the revenge to be with Yi Sao. Bye, I guess. And this level of Telling-Not-Showing and inconsistency smacks of Contrivance. And Contrivance really feels like the engine that is driving most of the season to me. It looks an awful lot like the writers had an end-goal in mind, and worked backwards to get there, and along the way did all the hand-waving they had to in order to get where they wanted. Gotta have Stede & Zheng team up against Ricky for an Epic Beach Battle that pits Pirates against The Crown, but why would she want him - especially if she thinks he's "a mediocre man who thinks he's exceptional"?

Oh, what if she loses all her ships because Ricky blew them all up with the world's most contrived bombs?

But why wasn't she on the ship?

Well she was beating Stede's ass at the time.

Why was she beating his ass?

Because he picked a fight with her because he was drunk and she was poaching his crew?

Why are some of Stede's crew willing to leave him even though they were literally ride-or-die even when he was trying to find the guy that marooned them?

Oh, Olu's been in love with Yi Sao this whole time, but, like, never fucking mentioned it, just trust us.

Why was he drunk - Stede thinks drinking 'til you puke isn't fun, remember?

Oh, he is getting plied with drinks because all the pirates love him now.

Why do all the pirates love Stede now?

Because he killed some Big Name Pirate.

Stede? "I'm having a bit of a hard time adjusting to being a mur... mur... murderer?" Stede? Are you sure?

Yeah. He's totally butch now.

....How?

He trained on how to be a pirate with Izzy.

Izzy. The guy that conspired with the British specifically to murder Stede Bonnet? Why?

Ed said he needed to work on his "mean voice" and be more dom assertive.

Why would Ed ever say that? He loves that Stede is out there doing things like no one else.

Because Stede doesn't feel like a captain.

Even though he's calling all-hands meetings and mediating crew grievences and rescuing his crew and no one is challenging his authority or even questioning whether his devotion to his boyfriend is possibly compromising his ability to do his job?

...Yes?

But why Izzy? Stede hates Izzy. Izzy hates Stede. Surely these are universal constants.

Izzy's nice now. He's been rehabilitated by the love of the crew.

...How?

Jingly keys.

#I'm gonna stop there because I've already devoted 3 hours to you nonnie #if you don't believe me by now that I'm not just having thoughtless knee-jerk reactions I don't see how I could possibly convince you #anyway lots of love and I hope you're able to keep enjoying the show #but if my grousing is gonna imperil your enjoyment the block button is v. convenient I've been told #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers

[tortellini-tankini-art]

1717. The Golden Age of Piracy. Wealthy UnderRealm Grifter William (Montague) Widemouth set out to find adventure and renown on the high seas. Things did not go as planned... Our Flag Means Pasta: An OFMD x Pastamonsters/Creepypasta Crossover AU

v Characters and Lore Below v

Or, check out everything I have stored on this AU in the Miro Board I've created for it! I update it with time as I create more artwork, characters, and add to the storyline, and even make episode timelines!

Characters in this AU:

The 'Retribution' Crew

Mr. Widemouth (William Montague Widemouth) as Stede Bonnet / Ben Drowned (Benjamin Lawman) as Lucius Spriggs / Jeff the Killer (Jeffrey Sepulveda-Ramirez) as Black Pete / Homicidal Liu (Liu Sepulveda-Ramirez) as Jim Jimenez / Eyeless Jack as Oluwande Boodhari / Ticci Toby (Tobias 'Toby' Eren Rogers) as Frenchie / Seedeater (Eedie) as Wee John / Kagekao as the Swede / Dr. Smiley as Roach / The Rake as Buttons

The 'Queen Lucia' Crew

Grinny (Oscar Delgado-Reyes)* as Edward Teach / Shadowlurker as Izzy Hands / Masky** as Fang / Hoodie* as Ivan

*Grinny is an OC of @oakmovies , however, for this AU, he is essentially a nearly different character, as his lore and background are vastly different.

**Masky and Hoodie in this AU are NOT the same people as their versions in Marble Hornets, and are instead entirely different people with different backstories.

Other Characters

Smile Dog (Smilin' Sam Dogham) as Calico Jack / Nurse Ann as Spanish Jackie / Splendorman as Nigel Badminton / Slenderman as Chauncey Badminton / Ms. (Priscilla) Pencilneck (another OC of @oakmovies) as Mary Allamby / Nina the Killer (Nina Rodriguez-Hopkins) as Archie / Jane the Killer as Mary Read (Jane Tod Richardson) / Clockwork (Natalie Ouellette) as Anne Bonney / Pinkamena (Bi Qi/碧琪) as Zheng Yi Sao

Character Backgrounds:

In this AU, and in this given time frame, the UnderRealm aristocracy is made up entirely of either monsters or spirits who were born and raised in the UnderRealm. Anyone who comes to the UnderRealm from the Surface world (killers, cursed, undead, etc.) is considered other, an outsider, and of lesser status, and this gap created upholds the aristocratic monster class. People who are born half-human are also considered lesser, and unless they were born to a monster of already aristocratic standing, they have very limited options in life in the UR.

UnderRealm: Widemouth, Ben (see also Spirit), Seedeater, The Rake, Shadowlurker, Slenderman, Splendorman

Spirits: Ben (Human from UK, died, then UR as corporeal spirit), Kagekao (Demon; Japan)

Half-Human:

Grinny (Mother - Mixed Taino/Spanish / Father - (Lower-class) Monster)

Smile (Father - UK / Mother - Cave Hound)

Ms. P (Father - UK / Mother - (Upper-class) Monster)

'Killer' Humans: Jeff, Liu, Toby, Dr. Smiley, Masky, Hoodie, Nina, Jane, Clockwork

Cursed/Possessed/Undead/Cannibal 'Humans': EJ (possessed/cursed/cannibal), Nurse Ann (Undead), Pinkamena (Cursed/Cannibal)

Lore (What's Different from PM/OFMD?)

Grinny/Oscar - The child of a feline-monster from the UnderRealm, and a half Taino woman from Puerto Rico. His mother was dragged to the UnderRealm by his father when she was a young lady, and lived in an abusive situation with him, until Oscar kills his father when he's 12. He runs away from home after this, and joins the crew of Captain Doyle (Hornigold for this AU - I have yet to draw another version of him for this AU, so here's @oakmovies rendition of him on IG). There, he meets Sam and Shadowlurker, and after they mutiny Doyle, he goes on to make a reputation for himself as the feared monster pirate Captain Grinny.

Jeff and Liu - Since Black Pete and Jim Jimenez in OFMD are not at all blood siblings the way Jeff and Liu are, but I was already set on them being these characters, I've created this backstory for them:

Jeff and Liu grow up with their family on a blood orange farm in St. Augustine, when one Christmas night, a gang known as the Siete Búhos attacks and kills their entire family. Instead of killing the siblings as well, they mutilate them, and set Jeff, and the rest of the farm, on fire.The two siblings manage to run away from the burning farm, and are taken in by a Satanic Nun.

The Nun raises them to master the art of killing, but only for the purpose of revenge. Jeff, however, has a different idea, and uses his new skills to rob and kill people for money. The nun acts to kick Jeff out of the convent, but Liu refuses to be separated from their brother, and leaves with him. Eventually, they meet Eyeless Jack, who gets them a job with Spanish Ann.

However, they find out that one of her husbands is the leader of the Siete Búhos, so one night, they get him drunk enough to restrain, torture, and kill him. After Ann finds out about this, she puts a price on Liu's head, and Jack has to escape with the two siblings, where they then join Widemouth's crew among The Retribution.

#OC: Our Flag Means Pasta #our flag means death #pastamonsters #creepypasta #crossover #au #crossover au #character design #character lineup #character lore #oc lore #friends ocs

[blacksailspolls]

🏴‍☠️ BLACK SAILS EPISODE BRACKET

LOSER POLLS, GROUP 1

winner from this poll will have a 1v1 battle the winner from the group 2 of losers. only one episode from the loser polls will go through Round 2. choose wisely!

EPISODE SUMMARIES UNDER THE CUT!

I. (1.01) — John Silver joins Captain Flint's crew as his ship's new cook whilst secretly holding a highly valuable page of the Captain's Log, which he takes from the first cook, who had stolen it from the captain himself. Meanwhile, Captain Flint faces a potential mutiny from his crew and must work to secure their support. The Captain recruits his first mate Billy Bones' help to overthrow the mutineer's leader, Singleton. Meanwhile, Eleanor Guthrie tries to keep order on the lawless island of New Providence conducting her father's business, as the Royal Navy's suspicions of the pirates grow stronger.

III. (1.03) — Flint asks Gates to seek additional help from Captain Hornigold to borrow his ship, Royal Lion, in search of the Urca de Lima. Meanwhile, Silver and Billy tackle a morale problem while they work together on discovering who the remaining mutineers are. During a captain's meeting to strike a deal, Eleanor is impressed by Vane's voice of reason and calm demeanor, which leads to them having an intimate encounter. However, once she finds out Max was raped by his crew, she punishes Vane by giving them an ultimatum. Also, Gates is promoted from quartermaster to captaining his own ship.

V. (1.05) — Flint and his crew of the Walrus play a deadly game of naval warfare when they engage Captain Bryson and the Andromache on the open sea to gain precious cargo. Meanwhile, Richard forces his daughter's hand when he makes an announcement to the locals about his assets being liquidated. This causes a mob to riot against Eleanor, who seeks help from Hornigold. Rackham makes a career change for him and Vane when they become owners of the brothel. Also, Billy questions Flint about Mrs. Barlow, and Anne confesses to Max about her past with men.

VI. (1.06) — Capturing the Andromache proves to be a costly endeavor when Flint loses a few of his crew to Bryson's men who are holed up in the hull. Meanwhile, Anne decides to take a stand against Hamund and his men for harming Max. Eleanor gets a visit from an unlikely ally who needs her help and turns to Silver to form a plan. Billy reads a private letter from Mrs. Barlow asking for a pardon for Flint's murderous actions aboard the Maria Aleyne, and asks Gates to confront him before the men learn of his betrayal. Vane reaches his destination from his self-made voyage.

XIX. (3.01) — A formidable new character, planning a return to Nassau, is introduced. Flint and his crew wage war against anyone who has taken a stance against piracy, and John Silver thinks this is becoming dangerous and reckless. Max has Anne persuade Jack to start repairs on New Providence Island's fort, which is still in ruins after the events of Season 2. Jack has sent Vane to take a ship, claiming there is much-needed timber aboard. However, Vane finds slaves instead and angrily confronts Jack. Jack convinces Vane that slave labour is the only way to fix the fort. Back in England, Eleanor is offered a deal in exchange for her life, and a new British threat emerges. Flint and the Walrus come across Hornigold and his crew and are forced to make a difficult decision.

XXIV. (3.06) — Flint challenges Teach to a duel. Rogers arrests Rackham and tries to convince him to surrender the gems for the sake of Nassau. Rackham agrees to this but then betrays Rogers. Madi, the daughter of Maroons Queen and Mr. Scott, helps Silver as he's being held captive.

XXX. (4.02) — Long John Silver is captured by a former crewman of Blackbeard and tries to talk his way into freedom. Max finds out about Featherstone and Idelle's involvement in the leaking of secrets to the pirates. Blackbeard begins a blockade of Nassau Harbour that Woodes Rogers devises a plan to counter. The remainder of Flint's crew and Billy's men raid a plantation of New Providence to gather supplies and more men for the war.

XXXI. (4.03) — Rogers sets off for Port Royal in order to distract Blackbeard's blockade and allow Eleanor to seek aid from her grandfather in Philadelphia. The alliance between Flint's crew and the maroons is strained after Billy and his men turn their back on them. Flint reunites with Silver and gets reintroduced to Israel Hands. Blackbeard catches up to Rogers' ship and a battle ensues. Flint and his men begin an attack on Nassau.

XXXIII. (4.05) — Eleanor and Flint strike a deal as Governor Rogers attempts to enter Nassau Harbour. Madi and Silver fight about what the deal between Eleanor and Flint means for the future of Nassau. Flint reveals some things about Mr Scott to Eleanor that cause her discomfort. Rogers reverses course and sails towards Havana to seek aid from Spain. Jack arrives in Nassau with the escaped prisoners and tells Flint of his run-in with Rogers.

XXXIV. (4.06) — A dozen Spanish ships appear over the horizon heading into Nassau Harbour. Silver tries to convince freed slave leader Julius to join forces and fight the Spanish together. Flint, Madi and Eleanor take refuge outside Nassau as the Spanish troops invade. Survivors seek escape via the Walrus and Rogers' captured ship. The pirates plan their next move in the fight for Nassau.

#black sails #black sails eppoll #loser polls #R1

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading every article in my twitter likes part 6

[part one][part two][part three][part four][part five]

"hey Makenzie," you're saying. "long time no see. didn't you give up after reading 100 backlogged articles all the way back in January?"

I did, yeah. don't worry about it. Sisyphus-like I have made this task even more daunting for myself by taking a 10 month hiatus in which to accumulate even more liked articles, meaning I might be further than ever from my goal of getting all the way to the end. but such is life! let's dive back in and see what hidden gems we can find down this mine shaft before Elon collapses it on purpose.

article 101: "Gender Blur" by Alex V Green for Baffler. sad and succinct piece about the propensity for capitalism to eat up any emergent queer identity just as quick as it can.

article 102: "Welcome to Hell, Elon" by Nijay Patel ALSO at Baffler. I don't actually think Elon Musk has the capacity to read anything longer than 280 characters at this point but if he could I'd hope he read this and stayed up all night thinking about it and sweating every night for the rest of his life.

article 103: "Black Country is Not a Fad. It's a Legacy" by Santi Elijah Holley at Atlantic. I am once again stating that anyone who writes off all country music is a clown; go scoop some new artists now.

article 104: "How the language of social justice is used to protect the status quo" by Abdallah Fayyad for the Boston Globe. remember, kids - media and political literacy is a skill and #diversity is not the same thing as progress!

article 105: "Why Does Everything On Netflix Look Like That?" by the incomparable Gita Jackson for Vice. listen - I don't understand a lot of the technical filmmaking jargon here, but I am very very tired of the stifling homogeneity of art. I love committing piracy and not paying for streaming services.

article 106: another Gita! I'm spoiled! "Whose Fantasy Is This?" is a thoughtful read about House of the Dragon and Rings of Power and who really wants to believe in righteous, benevolent rulers anyway.

article 107: "Why Is Horror So Afraid of Female Friendship?" by Heather O'Neill at Catapult. as an enjoyed of feral teenage girl rituals I'm damnably intrigued by some of these movies (and you guys know how much I hate movies).

#twitter likes cleanup

[dailyhistoryposts]

Introduction to Pirates: The Pirate Code

The pirate code was a code of conduct for pirates during the Golden Age of Piracy. Termed "articles of agreement" and often based on privateer codes, they were typically drawn up by a ship's crew after defecting to piracy. The particulars of the code varied from ship to ship, but had commonalities. A pirate would have to sign (or mark, if he couldn't write his name) to be part of the crew. The Pirate Code was far more fair and democratic then privateer and maritime codes; many crews defected into piracy because of their unfairness of life aboard a legal ship.

One preserved example of a pirate code is that of Captain Bartholomew Roberts (active from 1719-1722). It reads as followed:

I. Every man has a vote in affairs of moment; has equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure, unless a scarcity (not an uncommon thing among them) makes it necessary, for the good of all, to vote a retrenchment. II. Every man to be called fairly in turn, by list, on board of prizes because, (over and above their proper share) they were on these occasions allowed a shift of clothes: but if they defrauded the company to the value of a dollar in plate, jewels, or money, marooning was their punishment. If the robbery was only betwixt one another, they contented themselves with slitting the ears and nose of him that was guilty, and set him on shore, not in an uninhabited place, but somewhere, where he was sure to encounter hardships. III. No person to game at cards or dice for money. IV. The lights and candles to be put out at eight o'clock at night: if any of the crew, after that hour still remained inclined for drinking, they were to do it on the open deck. V. To keep their piece, pistols, and cutlass clean and fit for service. VI. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man were to be found seducing any of the latter sex, and carried her to sea, disguised, he was to suffer death; (so that when any fell into their hands, as it chanced in the Onslow, they put a sentinel immediately over her to prevent ill consequences from so dangerous an instrument of division and quarrel; but then here lies the roguery; they contend who shall be sentinel, which happens generally to one of the greatest bullies, who, to secure the lady's virtue, will let none lie with her but himself.) VII. To desert the ship or their quarters in battle, was punished with death or marooning. VIII. No striking one another on board, but every man's quarrels to be ended on shore, at sword and pistol. (The quarter-master of the ship, when the parties will not come to any reconciliation, accompanies them on shore with what assistance he thinks proper, and turns the disputant back to back, at so many paces distance; at the word of command, they turn and fire immediately (or else the piece is knocked out of their hands). If both miss, they come to their cutlasses, and then he is declared the victor who draws the first blood.) IX. No man to talk of breaking up their way of living, till each had shared one thousand pounds. If in order to this, any man should lose a limb, or become a cripple in their service, he was to have eight hundred dollars, out of the public stock, and for lesser hurts, proportionately. X. The Captain and Quartermaster to receive two shares of a prize: the master, boatswain, and gunner, one share and a half, and other officers one and quarter. XI. The musicians to have rest on the Sabbath Day, but the other six days and nights, none without special favour.

Comparatively, the Articles of Captain John Phillips (set in 1724) said that:

I. Every Man Shall obey civil Command; the Captain shall have one full Share and a half of all Prizes; the Master, Carpenter, Boatswain, and Gunner shall have one Share and quarter. II. If any Man shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, he shall be marooned with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm, and Shot. III. If any Man shall steal any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight , he shall be marooned or shot. IV. If any time we shall meet another Marooner that Man shall sign his Articles without the Consent of our Company, shall suffer such Punishment as the Captain and Company shall think fit. V. That Man that shall strike another whilst these Articles are in force, shall receive Moses’ Law (that is, 40 Stripes lacking one) on the bare Back. VI. That Man that shall snap his Arms, or smoke Tobacco in the Hold, without a Cap to his Pipe, or carry a Candle lighted without a Lanthorn, shall suffer the same Punishment as in the former Article. VII. That Man shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit. VIII. If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement, shall have 400 Pieces of Eight ; if a Limb, 800. IX. If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer present Death.

These set the standards for conduct, payment, and discipline. In almost all ways they were more fair than aboard merchant or naval ships, where a captain would receive a far larger share of money, hazard pay may not be afforded, and members of the crew often would have no vote in the direction and administration of the ship.

The distribution of justice was a common pirate practice, and allowed ships to be a limited democracy. Officers, even captains, could be put to death for mistreating those below them.

#history #world history #piracy #golden age of piracy #pirates #ofmd #democracy #17th century #18th century #tw rape mention

[matt-does-stuff]

What mutations I think the (playable) assassins and templars would have

I got X-Men brainrot but remembered AC exists, so here’s my list on which Assassins/Templars as mutants and what their abilities would be Desmond Miles - Guy sees dead people for a living - I think he’d have some ParaNorman shit going on - Explains the incredibly vivid bleeding effect pretty well imo - He most likely needs to seek help for it but you know what it’s like being a fugitive from Templars

Altar Ibn-La’Ahad: - His mutation prevents him from touching water - I imagine him having some enhanced strength, maybe even a light healing factor (I’m sorry homie survived bleeding out) - Definitely has a higher pain tolerance than most (we already knew that)

Ezio Auditore: - Definitely an empath of some kind - Like to the point where he himself gets upset (more than he does canonically) if someone’s in distress, and can immediately tell something’s wrong with no indication - Heightened agility and endurance - I will not be elaborating, you saw how many years he lasted as an Assassin

Edward Kenway: - This man’s mutation would be some shit like attraction to metals or something, given his luxurious life after retiring from piracy, and his want for wealth - That man sniffed out enough money to live in a mansion in London - Also I think he’d have a stronger resistance to alcohol, so he has to drink more to get drunk, but also won’t get alcohol poisoning so easily

Haytham Kenway: - This man has some telepathy, at least to sway people’s opinions - He can’t control it all too well, it just happens - Hence he easily gains the trust or affections of a lot of people - There are some people who would be more resilient to his persuasion, he can’t really do anything about it

Connor: - My guy literally feels the wellbeing of the p l a n e t - Like he will tell you how the plants are feeling or some bs like that - Idk but I feel he’d be able to predict natural disasters

Shay Cormac - I feel like this is a copout but this guy’s luck is 10 (fallout perk measurement) - Either that or he can literally manipulate reality in his favour - Like how tf do you think he caught Charles Dorian exactly when he was alone and looking for his son - And no one even batted an eye until he collapsed AFTER Shay had already left

Arno Dorian - Arno would be able to detect people’s life signs from a certain radius - I’m literally putting sense to the eagle vision through walls thing by saying he can feel them - Like he could tell if someone was sick, dying, actually alive (if perceived dead), etcetera - I feel like he gets incredibly sad when an innocent person dies

Jacob Frye - Invulnerability, or at least a heightened resistance to injury - You could throw this man from a 10-story building - Trust me he’ll live - He’s very emotional though - You see all that physical resilience? - It’s to make up for his lack of emotional resilience - You’ve seen him get upset - I’m right and you know it

Evie Frye - Channelling Ozymandias - If you’ve seen/read Watchmen you know what I mean - This woman would have a VERY heightened intellect - That doesn’t make her immune to stupidity - She’s just smarter than e v e r y o n e - I don’t make the rules

I haven’t played any of the others, so you’re not getting them Get noobed (jk I’ll update this once I get around to playing them)

#assassins creed #assassins creed headcanons #xmen #what am I doing with my life #does anyone give a shit abt ac or xmen anymore?

[widowshill]

A-Z Fandom Asks: N, P, R? (that wasn't planned, just. happy accident?) please and thank you!

A -> Z FANDOM ASKS.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

my number one is r/v obviously <3 i do actually feel kind of spoiled with the shippy stuff ive found in some old blogs though, i tend to adopt the rarest of rarepairs so i'm not complaining. but more is always better! and i'm steadily converting people to the cause 🏴‍☠️

generally speaking i think the pre barnabas episodes could always use more love. it's quite different tonally to later on and I can understand why folks might skip it for those reasons, but I fervently protest the idea that they're boring ! I'm biased of course because my faves are the 1966'ers, but there's so much delicious character work going on, and I think ... you need the rotted b&w gothic foundation for the technicolor house of horrors built on top of it, if that makes sense. i also think barnabas is kinda :/ it should be pre and post laura collins if we're all being honest with ourselves here.

hmmm. possibly a symptom of like, only being here / a tiny bit on twitter and not on like, actual forums, but i would love to see more long ass ds metas. love to read the insanely smart things b.lack s.ails people (and p.otc!) post on the reg. need that about haunted maine ppl

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

okay well you can guess where i'm going to go with this west indies piracy au go

The Collinses are descended from merchant wealth in England and currently control a small port city in the Bahamas. the family's connections to the Marquess of Winchester manages to land Roger an appointment as governor, although everyone knows the title is only a formality: his sister runs everything, including Roger. once prosperous, a combination of over-fishing, hurricanes, and an earthquake twenty years past has left the town desolate, and the sand beneath their feet liquefied. rather than abandon what she has built, Elizabeth is determined to hold on, but without any support from England for what they feel has no hope to turn profitable, the family turns to investing in forced trade.

enter Burke Devlin, a privateer employed under a letter of marque signed and sealed by Roger Collins. Devlin is the best, most profitable, and most infamous of their captains, often dining with them at their table and a close friend of the governor. For a while they enjoy mutual prosperity with Spain's wealth, and pirate labor. But the world is growing more respectable around them, and what was once the fringes of civility is gradually becoming its center. The way to survive is no longer with the pirates. When Burke is captured and tried for piracy, his benefactors turn their back on him: he is sacrificed, essentially, as a figurehead for the port and governor's respectability (vaguely à la Kidd). Even his wife sends written testimony against him, and remarries before her husband officially swings, to his former friend and sponsor, Roger.

Burke manages to escape before his hanging, and turns to piracy in the Mediterranean – after ten years, in 1698, he comes back to raid the Collins shipping fleet, with the eventual goal not of razing Collinsport to the ground, but of installing himself as governor there. One of the ships he captures carries a special passenger – the new governess, sent for from England – and he personally delivers her to their doorstep, but not before she can witness how different Captain Devlin is from the terrifying stories about him and his crew.

the governess also brings news from England: William III has passed a new law against the pirates in the West Indies. any person to aid and assist, or maintain, procure, command, counsel, or advise the pirates, are condemned to the same loss of property and life as the pirates themselves.

meet also:

maggie evans, the no-nonsense tavern wench, and her sweetheart, the honest merchant sailor joe haskell that hates pirates and everything they stand for

carolyn stoddard, who has a copy of Exquemelin in both French and English and has memorized every word, and is violently jealous of vicki for dining with a scary pirate captain. she'd like nothing better than to be kidnapped out of the governor's mansion. her cousin david loves the stables and knows everything about horses ... including how best to spook them.

sam evans, former court painter, now art forger

julia hoffman, naturalist (and other sciences as required)

bill malloy, who oversees the merchant fleet and the warehouses, and carries carolyn home from the docks or the tavern by the scruff of her neck, if he has to.

laura collins, sent away to bedlam for hysteria, managed to come back, and is now setting boats on fire as a hobby

the blairs, hailing from massachusetts: james, a well-respected lawyer eventually revealed to be working with devlin, and his cousins, nicholas and cassandra, political and religious exiles who spent some time in maritinique, where they both adopted quimbois practices.

jason macguire, irish smuggler, and willie loomis, former indentured servant working out his sentence in america. they have a run in with cousin barnabas, who's been making his questionable fortune in the east indies rather than the west, and who definitely does not do any cannibalism.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

ROGER AND JULIA. in other places, eleanor and flint >>>> also elizabeth and barbossa. i feel like this is forming a pattern of some kind hang on

#i may be wildly predictable at this point #tortoisesshells #➤ answered. ┊ collinsport 4099. #➤ meme responses. ┊ boo ! #➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and she’s exhausted.