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bereft-of-frogs · 1 month

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is friday. have a list.

reading:

(finished) Notes on an Execution - Danya Kukafka: Still excellent, still thinking about the ending

(in-progress) The Great Transition - Nick Fuller Goggins: I got this from the person who runs the horror book club I go to. The blurb compared it to Station Eleven, perilously high praise, but I'm weirdly enjoying it. Weirdly because I was afraid the structure would get annoying and weirdly because it's doing a bunch of things I usually find annoying but I'm not annoyed? I think it's because even though there's a lot of social justice themes, it never really feels like the characters are lecturing at the reader. Like there have been some scenes where characters are lecturing other characters - but so far they've all felt like they were more about revealing about the characters and their relationships rather than being like 'see, I know about solidarity, look how good a person I am!' I also really like that the exposition is being given through one of the POV characters (a high school student)'s essays, which have comments from her teacher and the comments are all PERFECT - and sure enough the author's day job is as a teacher. XD

(finished) Light of the Jedi - Charles Soule: still not my favorite, but it does pick up once you get past the first part. I think the narration of that action goes on for a bit too long and doesn't leave much space to take in the characters or setting because so much is happening, one thing after another. But, as I said last week, infinitely better than doomscrolling

(in-progress) Into the Dark - Claudia Gray: Ok the thing about Light is that I didn't really care about any of the deaths in it....until this book made me care. I think Gray is just a little bit more adept at character writing, I really started to fall in love with the High Republic and its characters in this book. I am sad though, given I'm probably going to have to skip Midnight Horizon to avoid getting derailed again, this might be where Reath and I part ways. I ended up loving Reath so much! But alas! Midnight Horizon was not my cup of tea, so I will have to say farewell.

(in-progress) Lord of the Rights chapter-a-day reread: Pelennor Fields today. DEAAAATTTHHH!!!!

watching (tv):

(finished) Silo (Apple TV): WHY am I still thinking about that finale?? why was that so good? WHEN is season 2 coming out?

(in-progress, rewatch) Altered Carbon (Netflix): to stop myself from just watching dumb commentary youtube videos while I'm cooking/eating dinner/etc I started rewatching Altered Carbon and damn it's just so good. I'm almost finished with the first season, I know the second is controversial/isn't quite as good but I still enjoyed it so will continue on

I'm in kind of a hangover post-Silo for the show I watch as part of my bedtime routine. I watched 2 episodes of Foundation and precisely 30 minutes of Severance before I fell asleep last night (I was just really tired because a certain Void Creature had me up at 5AM, not Severance's fault), so idk which I'm going to continue on with. Probably Severance, I'll get back to Foundation eventually.

watching (film):

The Strangers (2008): That scene where Liv Tyler is smoking in the kitchen and the intruder is standing unseen in the background is my LITERAL NIGHTMARE.

Hell House LLC II: The Abbadon Hotel (2018) and Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019): This is such a bizarre series because the first is slightly above-average found footage, the fourth is actually surprisingly scary, and the middle two are SUCH hot garbage, but. Completionist. I have seen them all now. The best scene in the third is with the cultists/demons scuttling around and I realized why it makes me laugh, they remind me of the wraiths in What We Do in the Shadows XD

Dune Part 2 (2024) - I SAW DUNE AGAIN IT WAS STILL GOOD. Aside, is Austin Butler in something the Youths (TM) like? Because I only know him from the awful Elvis movie I suffered through last year. The girl selling my ticket was like 'yeah I've seen it twice as an audience member and then I keep going up to the projection room to watch the duel because Austin Butler *heart eyes*' and I was like.....him? Really? Are the kids just horny for Harkonnens? I have questions.

video game update: I'm unstuck on cult of the lamb! I had the run of my life and got past the underwater level, it was great.

craft update: Skein still tangled, don't want to talk about it. But I've finished the short rows on the sweater vest and am onto the repetitive part! The next real milestone will be getting to where it joins the back under the arms, and I no longer have to purl. I can't wait.

weekend list -- just kidding it's a WEEK list because I'm on vacation! (technically I am dogsitting but I'm still taking a week off from work to go hang out with a dog, so that counts as vacation):

focus up to get through the workday. friends, it is 11AM and that is not going well, let me tell you

go for a run

pack / tidy up apartment so I don't come back to wreckage

non-writing things to do while at parents' house:

many walks! dog cuddles!

try out their fancy peloton thing, see what this cult thing is all about

knitting - planning to work on sweater vest, despite the fact that it is black and my parents' dog is so, so yellow... (she's a yellow lab)

laundry. so much laundry. everything that is in my apartment that can be put in a washing machine, is being brought. We've got sheets, we've got towels, bath mats, etc etc. My parents are paying me for dogsitting services in water usage.

read: I'm bringing 3 books I took out of the library yesterday which seems...ambitious...but maybe doable if I-

--don't scroll. seriously. I've blocked so many things, if I can just stick to occasionally checking my tumblr dash and maybe pinterest once in a while, I can get so much else done

writing to-do:

main project: longfic I am tentatively calling 'the station' (probably will change but this is at least better than my last working title which made no sense so I'm keeping it for now), I have 25k in a very rough draft, and am on chapter 2 of 12 in the rewrite (about 8k words). (It's probably going to be much longer than 25k, that was essentially just the self-indulgent scenes that came easily, now I'm doing the hard plot work, connecting scenes, etc, trying to go roughly in order so I don't have to do another full draft.)

start on the final part of 'omens and all kinds of signs': ideally finish a rough draft but we'll see, I have not started it at all, but I know it will feel good to finish it, if I can get some of the pieces together, that would be great

rough draft of the third variation on the tattoo theme (I have...900 words so far)

rough draft of an alternative POV to an already posted fic that's just an excuse to be shamelessly self-indulgent (I have ?? words scribbled in a notebook about it)

#lists lists lists #long post

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constantvariations · 1 year

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V9C5

Got that post-workout bliss and a plate of pizza rolls, so I’m raring to go!

Post Ep: whoever decided the rusted knight “twist” should step on a lego every five minutes for the rest of their lives

Wait why is Ruby running? The last episode ended with the caterpillar being dropped through the floor by the cat, so are they running from the cat? Was the growth yogurt ready, and if so did they grab it ($50 on no)

“I’m so glad the four of you are still the four of you.” Is this excluding Little because they didn’t get hit with the Character Arc tm dust? (Now that I think about it, why didn’t Little have a vision? Did we just not see it or are they immune somehow?)

“You’re the one who ditched us in the first place” okay, Weiss, firstly Ruby stopped following the cat so that’s mostly on her. Secondly, why are you being antagonistic to the one creature you can’t afford to offend because it’s the one creature who can get you to the tree?

“...someone return to the Ever After.” How can you return to a place you’re already in? Is there a reprogramming center or something? If you veer too far off from your role you get reset? Reminds me of the re-educators of the Dragon Age Qun

They’re really laying on thick the whole “Everything is what it isn’t, and what it is, it wouldn’t be” (shout out to that one Shinedown song from the live action Alice in Wonderland)

All this talk of what happened to the caterpillar just sounds like a shitty mishmash of the Ship of Theseus, Schrodinger’s cat, and a reset button

So the Red King underwent the Ever Again program (I’m just gonna call it that, roll with it) and came out a kid? Was that by design or does everyone basically get reborn? Does that mean the racoon hasn’t been Agained since Alyx?

Oh they call it Ascension? How Devil May Cry of you. Also I ain’t calling it that. I like my Agained verbage

“Nose hair from a leprechaun.” I am half expecting a Rocket Racoon bit here

Straight up ditching someone you know is acting off because ~ew nose hair~ is... something else. And there goes Blake trailing after Yang’s coattails again because we! need! that! bee! bait!

This cat is far too lenient with these assholes. They just straight up jumped on his head without asking because who needs to respect people’s autonomy amiright fellas?

Goddammit bring the cat back right now I can’t stand Little’s voice and cOmEdY

Okay all the lights going out one by one is hella creepy gg

“I thought this was lost forEVER” why does Ruby sound like a highschool girl complaining about drama this deadass made me burst out laughing Also, is that the same sword from the Red Kingdom or a different one?

Okay the android is cool as shit I will admit that. The chain as hair is absolutely fantastic

Was that Summer in the axe blade? An axe is not what I would have expected of a Ruby clone. Those are hard-hitting and slow, usually used by the tanks, while Summer and Ruby’s figures suggest more agile approaches. If it were more of a hatchet size, I could see that, especially as a dual-wield

Pocket dimension blacksmith shop? Sign me the fuck up please

I think I’m going to strangle Weiss. You literally just saw her standing in the middle of the road, staring at and talking to nobody, and you fucking whine? I hope someone stabs her with her own tiara jfc

“It contains a mother’s promise” BITCH WHEN WAS THIS ESTABLISHED AND WHY WAS THAT THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF TO GIVE AWAY I’M GONNA BURN A FIRE HYDRANT

“We do not ascend” oh you mean die? That thing you said didn’t happen here? Dying? Was there even a second reading of the script or did yall just smoke with the originals?

Yes Ruby go right past the hostile creature instead of literally any other direction. Yall deserve whatever hell you make

Why is Ruby carrying everyone constantly? Their legs aint broke girl. Go be a distraction while they go for the yogurt goddamn

The giant jackrabbit’s cool ngl

Like how one scoop only grew them to doll sized but whatever was left after it was splattered grew them all to the right size

The jackrabbit’s name is Juniper. Both cute and cringe

GODDAMMIT IT HAD TO BE JAUNE

WHY

HE FELL LAST

THAT SHOULDVE BEEN YANG

FUCK YOU CRWBY

#rwde #god we all knew this was coming but goddammit why did it happen #there is absolutely no damn reason why the v last one should be there for years when everyone else had minutes #'hur bur dur magic dimension' stuff it up your ass #the magic is called authors pet and its arcane focus is the narrative #jaune is a fucking black hole of a character #i hope he dies #i hope we all die #god they spent so much fucking time on the logistics of the ceremony that barely anything happened #again #if that shit dont come up later i'm stealing smth outta their house #thats probs gonna be how they de age jaune #also what did neo do to the og jabber? did she fucking eat it? is she animorphing things now? wtf #p much the only thing i actually liked was the blacksmith. make the show abt that guy rn forever kthxbye

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vaguely-concerned · 3 years

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The Mandalorian Chapter 14 reactions: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME BUT ALSO I’M CRYING edition

- the good good din characterization is back after all the weirdness last episode!!!! that soft way he says ‘no, no, I’m not mad at you’? THAT’S din djarin, he would not be fucking impatient with his son having just been informed and seen for himself that he is terrified, go away mr filoni I know you’ve got all of canon memorized but you don’t get this lol. this feels much more right in how din being conflicted and still thinking he should give the baby away for his own good plays out too

honestly every line of dialogue for him in this one was perfect I was just whispering ‘I love this awkward clueless wonderful man just doing his best’ to myself any time he said anything. “...does this look Jedi to you?” sir I adore you more than words can describe

- we got din chuckling. asjdklfhsdkafghsdafsadhjkfsdahjkfh. fskahfksjad. side note: I can’t believe my joke post about din desperately trying to Force home school the kid with the one (1) jedi trick he knows about and the baby being delighted by it over and over anyway -- listen to his expectant excited laugh when din takes the ball and sets up the game!!!! -- was canon all along. and then the baby & mando music kicking in when he gently put the silver ball into the baby’s hands again and tells him he’s special (because he IS special. to din)? hmng. hmmmmnnnnn

they opened on the height of softness so we would all crumple under the weight of the rest of the episode and that was very mean of them in a way I sincerely appreciate

- nothing to see here... just a dad trying to walk through the literal manifestation of the unassailable underlying forces of the universe to get to his baby again and again........ the desperation in that, the love, the foolhardy devotion................... shit

- okay so I might be a dumbass, but I’d never noticed this before -- the silver ball has a blue spot on the top, like so:

and in addition we get the room where the baby goes full darth grogu (I have to laugh so I don’t cry okay) on those storm troopers, and there’s a red light in there dominating the room (and it did even more in the concept art):

in star wars blue means light side and red means dark side (it’s very sophisticated that way), meaning the visual storytelling here is that there’s a battle for the baby’s soul and gideon and all his nonsense (and the trauma bb’s been through in the wider sense) is pulling towards the dark, while grogu and din’s connection leads him towards the light. just... the image of the baby looking at his own reflection in the symbolic representation of his relationship to din? the way children find their sense of self through being safely reflected and held by their caretakers? god help meeeeeee I will go in there and fistfight gideon myself for disrupting that in any way

the smaller light seems to be blue too, like there’s still the presence of light even if it’s dimmed and small in that shitty horrible room, which is a change from the concept art!

- FENNEC SHAND SURVIVED BITCHES!!! I even called that she’d be back with new shiny robot parts back in season 1, could not happen to a cooler lady, I hope we get more backstory and interaction from her the next episodes -- sounds like she’s basically sworn herself to boba’s service in gratitude for saving her life, I wonder if that’s a cultural thing of whereever she comes from? does she live aboard slave 1 now too?? because that would be hilarious and amazing, it must be like two strange cats trying to get used to sharing the same space

- everything I could ever hope for about boba fett in this series came true, they went down the much more interesting and nuanced route with jango and boba’s identities as mandalorians, he looked cool as fuck and made din as a character shine rather than overshadowing him... amazing beautiful yesss

(I did 100% not anticipate just how ‘cool uncle boba here to help you fuck shit up’ he was going to be but I am delighted to get it anyway. uncle points deducted for getting someone to point a gun at the baby, but the main point still stands lol)

the power and brutality of his hand to hand fighting too... a w e s o m e , I enjoyed the action scenes a lot in this one

- they even recanonized him actually wearing jango’s armour. what more could I ask for. I’ve had confused parent & child feels about these two since I was like eleven and here we fucking go again. and jango fighting in the mando civil wars too!

- so I’m grieving the razor crest (and I always will be, rip you magnificent jalopy, always in my heart) but also there’s the grim satisfaction that my reading on it was sort of true -- it is (...was. oh god it’s going to take a while to sink in huh) a symbol of din’s self and life, and at this point when they take the baby it tears everything else to pieces. the only thing that’s left in the ashes is the beskar and the thing that connects him to the baby. and there’s... a strange solace in seeing that that’s all he needs to keep going? he’s fucking obliterated from orbit but he still has his love for the baby and the beskar and that can keep him going until he finds something new, everything else can be replaced?????? weirdly healing, though he is probably going to have a solid breakdown at some point after they get the kid back (shut up they are getting the kid back) and the cold distant fog lifts

also this scene/shot feels like it carries some Meaning, doesn’t it? I’m on record several times saying I never want din to be mand’alor and that’s still true, but there’s something about the framing of this and the way boba looks at him that’s like... hm. I’m not sure I have the words for it. there’s something heightened about it, anyway, for a moment he looks like something mythic there in the wreckage

(something I would be much cooler with is our clan of two growing a little bit and those new people rallying behind him, actually, that might be neat. imagine if a force user does show up for the baby and gets adopted into the clan somehow??? so many possibilities.)

- from the way he picks up the silver ball... din djarin is on his way to straight up murder some people huh

I think part of what reassures me about this scene is the music -- this mando flute is not distant, is not beaten, is not despondent, it’s clear and determined and strong.

I love this. I love when we get explicit baby POVs, it makes it feel so real and intimate and... like home. (I especially loved baby’s point of view inside the razor crest, which just made me tear up again. baby lost the closest thing he’s had to a home in a long long time on top of it all. everything is suffering)

Emotionally Significant Thumb Grabbing tm; the show

- din djarin looking for the ‘on’ switch on a magic rock fhsdakjfhsadlfhsdjah I can’t breathe

“Well, this is the seeing stone. Are you. Seeing anything?” fsafkdsajhfsa sdhfksjalhfkjsdahfkjsdhf

- the energy around the baby as he’s, in ahsoka’s words, ‘choosing his path’ is blue, and the force sort of works across time and space, right?? so there’s definitely still hope for our lil green bean to not have to come up with a really dumb unsubtle sith name for himself, as is regrettably yet delightfully tradition. darth babbu should never come to pass (I do like how they’re interrogating the normal dark/light side dichotomy in this series, seeing as this is a literal baby who can’t really be responsible for that stuff himself yet and has such capacity for both.)

- listen. listen, the way din says ‘can you please hurry up’ with no sarcasm or real impatience whatsoever, more like a harried worry, to his force-meditating son as he jogs off to make sure no one’s trying to kill them. is hilarious and also YES this is what the character is!!! weirdly and incongruously polite under stress sometimes and with a slightly odd reaction pattern to things!!! he’s not just quiet and badass, he’s a little strange sometimes and it’s so good!

- a friendly opening volley warning shot from boba there

also din uncertainly asking BOBA FETT if he’s a jedi... now this is the dramatic irony I’ve been looking for haha

I guess neither shand nor boba actually know din’s name after this either. baby you gotta start introducing yourself at some point it gets real confusing when there are two mandos on screen

oh the long weary sigh going through din’s frame when boba says he wants ‘the armour’ and he thinks it’s just someone trying to peel the beskar off his corpse again. sorry the galaxy’s so shitty dad

- “But fate sometimes steps in to rescue the wretched” is a killer line well done mr favreau. I like that boba actually offers din a good deal as well and seems to intend to deliver on it from how things are going.

- din using his beskar-covered bod to cover someone he’s fighting alongside!!! literal moving cover haha. also I love fennec’s costume design

- I don’t know where din got more whistling birds from and I don’t care, it was really cool haha

wow haha um so anyway --

(cue all the ‘who wore it better’ with cobb vanth’s ‘spiderman’s first home made costume’ look on one side and ABSOLUTE UNIT DADDY boba fett on the other side posts lol)

- aaaghh the music almost like a stunned desperate fluttering heart beat as din watches the razor crest be destroyed

- for someone who has willingly worked for them in the past boba sure sounds less than thrilled about having the empire back in any capacity

- oof the deadness in din’s voice when he says “The child is gone”. ooooh no that got me h e l p

- guessing next episode is at least partly a ‘gathering old allies and preparing the assault’ step before the grand finale, then! they cannot go for the season ender cliffhanger with this, I will fucking riot. anything can be up in the air except baby and dad being separated, I will not allow it

it would be very funny if the force user baby called out to comes stumbling into the middle of all this like the troy entering the room with pizzas meme too

- the music in the darth grogu scene is partially a dark mirror of the baby & mando music :’( is nothing in this world sacred

also from how he reaches out for it baby might have used a light saber before in the past with the jedi? ngl the idea of baby wielding the dark saber not when he’s all grown up but in like two episodes -- with all the chaos a toddler holding a laser sword would involve -- is all that is keeping me sane here

‘liable to put an eye out with one of these’ well gideon you sure have doomed someone to lose an eye with that one, here’s to hoping it’s you, for full dramatic payoff

he is a deliciously smug awful force with great musical cues tho, you have to give it to him

- okay so this

is obviously awful and horrible and it makes me so sad... but it is undeniably also very very very funny in how it’s framed. you know what? after all this bullshit baby grogu can have a little dark side tantrum, as a treat, we’ve all been there right

(forget finding a jedi, we need to go out there and find a child psychologist who can help him deal with this without adding the fear that he’s on the path to become a two foot tall evil space sorcerer to the mix Y_________Y)

- rip the razor crest except for the second time :’’’( gone but never forgotten

- the last thing din tells the baby is “I’m gonna protect you; I’ll be back soon”. and I hope that stays with the kid somehow and that it actually comes true, that din will be back for him as soon as humanly possible and all this pain and fear can be repaired. ggggghhhhh my emotions are too big for my dumb human body

#star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian meta #okay I'm gonna have to. go take a calming walk or something after this haha

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royalnugget42 · 4 years

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SPN is ending

And here’s my take on how it will go down, based on the limited knowledge we have. Please be aware that these are not foolproof predictions. Title analysis can only get you so far, and some of the titles are vague enough that they could mean just about anything. Still I’d like to try my best to predict the narrative based on how I would go about it and based on the vague references.

I’ll go episode by episode, include as many details as I can reasonably add, and try to keep my Destiel shipping goggles off as much as possible. Buckle up.

First one is pretty easy. Episode 14, “Last Holiday” promises to be kind of literal, with a mysterious figure appearing and giving Jack, Sam, and Dean the holidays they missed out on. However, I was curious, since Supernatural has a habit of including obscure or not so obscure references in their titles, if there was any other thing we could correlate this to.

There is actually a movie called “Last Holiday” starting Queen Latifah, whose character is diagnosed with a terminal illness, which results in her making the decision to abandon her boring life and live like a millionaire in Europe.

The idea of the fight with Chuck being a “terminal illness” on the horizon could be why now is the best time for these guys to live it up.

This possible reference coupled with the ‘last’ seems to say that this episode will be a sort of final moment of levity before the endgame. Past this episode there be monsters, lads. I’d also like to point out that since it will be just Jack and the brothers if the promo photos are anything to go by, this will be a good time to get in some forgiveness and family bonding for our characters before things go downhill again.

Looking at promo photos for this episode again, I’m not sure where, but the episode may also carry some development for the plot. I’m not sure whether the photos of Cas, Amara, and Charlie were for this episode or another one (since they are not listed as cast members for the episode on IMDb), but we’ll be seeing all of them again soon it looks like, and I can’t wait for Cas and Jack to go on a hunt together again.

This episode will be the beginning of the descent. We’re standing on the edge and staring into the void, and we’re about to take the plunge. How do I know this?

“Gimme Shelter”, the title for this new episode, seems to have a literal meaning of the characters continuing to try to hide from God. However, as usual, the title is also a reference, this time to a song by The Rolling Stones. The lyrics to said song are nice and foreboding.

Oh, a storm is threat'ning

My very life today

If I don't get some shelter

Oh yeah, I'm gonna fade away

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away

Ooh, see the fire is sweepin'

Our very street today

Burns like a red coal carpet

Mad bull lost its way

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away

Rape, murder!

It's just a shot away

It's just a shot away (3X)

The floods is threat'ning

My very life today

Gimme, gimme shelter

Or I'm gonna fade away

War, children, it's just a shot away

It's just a shot away (4X)

I tell you love, sister, it's just a kiss away

It's just a kiss away (5X)

Kiss away, kiss away

Cue nervous anticipation

This is definitely where things are going to really pick up plot wise. Most likely, more will be revealed about Billie’s Plan to Kill God TM. Although, the idea of Death herself leading the Winchesters to victory feels sketchy to me still. She is deliberately withholding all the details, and she’s doing it for a reason.

Something down the line is going to make the Winchesters angry with her, and she’s not going to tell them about it unless it’s absolutely necessary. I have a feeling what it is will get revealed in the next episode.

“Drag Me Away (From You)” has some very clear negative connotations, and on top of everything has a weird format. It could be based on the lyric from Africa by Toto, ‘it’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you’, or a reference to the song “Drag Me Away” by Melissa Etheridge, whose lyrics mention angels, and are about resistance and perseverance, two defining characteristics of the Winchesters. However, I’d like to point out another correlation.

Like I said before, the title has a weird format. The only other episode of Supernatural with a similar title to this one is season 12 episode 12 “Stuck in the Middle (With You)”. That episode was about what seemed like a normal hunt, but was actually a mission for Mary by the British Men of Letters to get the Colt. In that episode, Cas came ridiculously close to dying a painful and slow death, which does not bode well for this episode if it’s correlated in any way.

If what I’m predicting for Billie’s plan is true, this episode will be where the viewers are clued in on the thing she won’t tell the Winchesters about. The brothers might not necessarily get clued in (like how they still hadn’t realized Mary’s involvement with the BMOL at the end of 12x12), but whatever Billie is withholding will have serious consequences.

For this episode, I predict that Cas will come absurdly close to death again, because I believe Billie’s plan involves him dying. Billie doesn’t consider Cas a member of TFW. Multiple times in the most recent episodes, she talks about how important Jack is, how important the Winchesters are, but never Cas, and it feels like a weird oversight.

“Ever since I got this new job, I stand witness to a much larger picture. You know what I see? You. And your brother. You’re important.” 13x05 “Advanced Thanatology”

“I told you Dean, you and your brother have work to do.” 15x12 “Galaxy Brain”

Surely Cas has a part to play, since he’s one of the main characters right? But Billie doesn’t trust Cas, as well she shouldn’t. Cas is a wildcard, an angel who doesn’t do as he’s told. He straight up stabbed her in the back, something that she was completely caught off guard by.

I could make an entire post about how Cas hasn’t played by the rules of the universe since season 4 episode 18 “The Monster at the End of This Book”, but I digress. The point is that this episode is probably going to shed some light on the true threat the team is facing. Which leads us into...

17-18

Here’s where things start to get muddy. The titles from this point on get vague, and without any solid information about the previous episodes, these could be headed anywhere.

“Unity” is the next episode, number 17, and that could mean a lot of things. In my proposed timeline it is after a supposed revelation about Billie’s plan, so maybe they feel more unified after learning it.

In Supernatural‘s usual story structure, though, it feels like this episode will probably be the buildup to what seems like the end of the villain, but will actually be the darkest hour.

The episode following right after this is titled “Despair” and I think that’s telling. Supernatural writers do this often, where the boys make a plan, and inevitably when they follow it something goes wrong. “Unity” is the plan being made and carried out, and “Despair” is either the episode where everything goes wrong, or the aftermath.

[EDIT: The title of episode 18 is actually “The Truth”, which I believe may still narratively serve the same purpose, but now I’m more convinced that this is where the Winchesters learn about Castiel’s deal and/or something that Billie has been keeping from them about the plan to kill God. Thank you to @kingofthecrossroads for the updated information.]

Before I go into detail about this two-episode arc, an obligatory

Warning: Shipping Ahead

To my eyes, “Unity” seems like the perfect place for Castiel’s arc to reach a breaking point. If I’m right, and this is the episode where everything seems to succeed, then what better time for The Empty to snatch Cas away from his happiness.

If I was a writer, and I was in fact planning on making Destiel canon, this is where I’d do it. It makes the most sense to have Dean and Cas finally realizing their love for each other be the catalyst for Cas “finally giving himself permission to be happy” especially if this episode also contains a false climax regarding the Chuck storyline. Cas has said multiple times that he’s “far from happy”, so there has to be something huge happen for Cas to get there. Not to mention, Cas would be a sort of vessel for the audience, simultaneously happier than we’ve ever been because we were finally right, and sadder than ever because Cas is gone.

“Despair” won’t just be despair that the plan failed. It could also be Dean’s despair at losing Cas, our despair at seeing our hopes for them dashed.

[EDIT: Again, the title will NOT be “Despair” it will be “The Truth”, but I still think it’s telling that Despair was a working title for long enough that it’s on the IMDb page, and if “The Truth” contains the truth about how Dean and Cas feel about each other, then this will still be a dark episode.]

Shipping over, let’s continue.

Now we come to another referential episode, “Inherit the Earth”. There’s really not enough information to have anything solid regarding the nitty gritty details, but we can take a look at what this title is most likely referencing. “Inherit the Earth” is just a tiny part of a common phrase. It’s used in media all the time, but we’re interested in the original source.

I’m not sure if the episode will contain references to all the pieces of this passage from the Bible, but “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth” seems to build off of the last episode, “Despair”. Another translation for the word meek in this instance may have been “powerless”, and after the negative moments in the previous episode TFW would probably feel pretty powerless. Maybe, in the previous episodes, Jack failed and lost his powers again, and that’s what caused Despair, but now he will inherit the powers that God had, or inherit control of earth.

If the rest of the passage is to be taken into account here, there’s also the “poor in spirit” who will ascend to the “kingdom of heaven”, possibly a reference to Cas being depressed and fighting for Heaven to be maintained. “Those who mourn will be comforted”, and that may actually bode well for Sam and Dean, who constantly mourn for the friends they’ve lost. Maybe in this episode they’ll get some closure on that front, maybe with their friends trapped in Hell going to Heaven (Kevin). The next line after “inherit the earth” refers to “those who hunger and thirst for righteousness”, and if that isn’t Michael/Adam to a T...maybe this will be the episode we see him team up to fight God. I’m not sure who the last line might refer to other than Sam, if you have any ideas feel free to tell me.

And after all this, we have the big one.

“Carry On” is referring to “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas, and I don’t have a clue what it will entail. If the previous episode goes well, then this will be a sort of epilogue, with a (hopefully) happy ending for TFW, maybe we see Eileen and Sam get together, some kind of family dinner with Jody and the girls to resolve that plot line, or potentially, if the writers plan on doing it, a scene confirming Destiel.

It’d be interesting if they showed the brothers going on a normal, run-of-the-mill hunting trip, like a simple salt-and-burn, or even a (different) woman in white. It would be a nice way to bookend the story, to end on a hunt, but instead of the brothers on their own, it’s the brothers with the help of everyone they’ve come to know and care about in their journey, all the lives they’ve touched.

If, however, the conflict is not resolved by the end of the previous episode, this could be the resolution and epilogue all rolled into one, though if it were me I would want as much time as possible to resolve any lingering character questions because, at the end of the day, Supernatural has survived because of the characters. They are what people stay for, what they watch for.

Reminder that all of this is speculation. I do not know what will happen, this is just how I think the story could progress based on what we know so far.

For better or for worse, at this point Supernatural will be over. Will they do a perfect job? Probably not. This is Supernatural, it’s not the most perfect show. However, I’m excited to see where the writers will go with it. They have their work cut out for them.

[EDITED]

#spn #supernatural #supernatural theory #spn theory #spn s15 #spn season 15 #spn 15x14 #spn 15x15 #spn 15x16 #spn 15x17 #spn 15x18 #spn 15x19 #spn 15x20 #saileen #spn 15x12 #destiel #i tried not to let it influence me #hope this is coherant

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murasaki-murasame · 5 years

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Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 25: “Summer Will Be Here Soon”

I was a little worried about how this episode would turn out, since it was obviously going to be a sort of set-up/transition episode for season 2 rather than being super dramatic and climactic like the last episode was, but I think they handled it pretty much perfectly, and this was probably the best place to end this first season.

Now we just have to wait for Some Point In 2020 [tm] for the second season :)

Anyway, thoughts under the cut, plus some of my overall thoughts on the season as a whole now that it’s done. [Plus spoilers for the whole manga]

There’s something hilarious to me about how right up to the last minute they kept surprising me with the different choices they’ve made with how they’re structured this adaptation and what parts they’ve included. After they revealed Rin’s VA and character design a few days ago, I figured that meant she’d be the only new character getting teased at here, but then literally right when the finale came out they were like ‘oh yeah and here’s Kakeru and Machi lmao’.

They REALLY leaned hard into making the whole second half of this episode a giant tease for season 2, but I can respect that. They handled it really well, at least.

Specifically, this episode adapted chapters 34, 35, and the final scenes of chapters 42 and 48. I was worried that it’d feel weird to tie scenes from multiple different chapters together like that, but they integrated it all together really smoothly. They had to change a lot of the context around the bits they included from chapters 42 and 48, but they did it really well. I was mostly worried about how they’d handle Kakeru and Machi’s teaser scene, but having Tohru and Yuki just walk past them down the stairs at school was a surprisingly simple way to do it. It’s interesting to note that because they included that scene without the overall context of chapter 42, we don’t know that they’re going to be new members of the student council. Which is kinda interesting.

I also liked what they did with tying the ending of chapter 48 into the small scene with Ayame at the end of chapter 35, by bringing basically all of the Somas together for the final scene. It all tied together really naturally. And I still think that that whole monologue the episode ends on was definitely the best place to end this season. It’s a really blatant end-point that teases what’s about to come in the next major arc. I also thought it was neat how they mentioned how Hiro was going to be late, which lead into the whole Rin scene.

And on that note, her whole intro scene was largely the same as it was in the manga, but it’s worth noting that they give her a little bit more dialogue where she actually mentions the curse, which is interesting because it takes a bit of a while for us to find out in the manga that she’s trying to break it. I think it’s a really good idea that they pretty much laid it out immediately. As much as I love Rin as a character, I’ve always felt that the way she was introduced into the story felt very awkward and kinda confusing, and part of it was because we don’t know anything about her motivations for a while, so this is a good change.

And like with with the Kakeru and Machi teaser scene, I think it’s interesting that, in terms of how the anime’s pacing things, we don’t know that Rin is Haru’s girlfriend yet. All we know is that she seems to be trying to break the curse. We’ll probably still get that whole reveal of their relationship early in season 2, but I just think it’s interesting that they made it so that the scene of her in the hospital is the first time we ever see her at all in the anime. I wondered if they might try and include Haru talking about her in this episode, but I’m glad they didn’t. They didn’t really have the time for it.

Also I’m in the middle of rereading the series now that I have the whole collection in Japanese, and I’m right in the middle of where we learn about Rin’s backstory and we start getting more development with Kakeru and Machi, so that’s pretty nice timing, lol. It’s really reminded me just how much we have store for us in season 2.

At some point soon, maybe when I’m a bit further into my reread, I’ll probably make a more detailed post about how I think season 2 will go, and how much of the story it’ll cover, but at the moment I’m kinda clueless about it, lmao. I wasn’t expecting them to adapt the content they adapted in this episode, so it’s kinda thrown off a lot of my predictions.

In general I still think that, if we get a third season after it, season 2 will probably end around the end of volume 16, or with the big Akito reveals, since that’s around the two-thirds mark of the story.

This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I also kinda hope that they only properly introduce Kakeru and Machi after the whole summer vacation arc ends. I just think it’s a bit awkward how in the manga they get introduced at the start of volume 9 and then basically vanish from the story until the start of volume 12. But we’ll see.

Before I get into my retrospective thoughts on the first season as a whole, I wanna mention that this episode had some really good animation and art in it. Especially in a lot of the scenes with Kyo and Kazuma. I just thought it was really nice, and slightly unexpected.

I also appreciate that we got a more thorough look at how the anime’s depicting the cat house, after last week’s shot of it. It looks like instead of being a basement of some kind, it’s an isolated shed or something that basically has a prison cell in it. Which is all kinds of disturbing.

Anyway, now that it’s all said and done, this first season was amazing and now I’m gonna have to try and impatiently wait for season 2 to start.

I dunno where to even begin, since I’m still not quite over how surreal and unexpected the existence of this series is. It’s not every day you see a classic shoujo manga get a multi-season anime reboot, especially one that’s so lovingly made. I know some people haven’t enjoyed it, but I think it’s been nearly perfect for what it is. You can really tell just how much love and thought has been put into this.

I don’t even hate the 2001 anime that much [ok there’s some parts where the anime-original comedy filler got extremely bad but still], but this is such a drastic improvement over it in nearly ever way. The 2001 anime still exists for those who enjoyed it, but I’m glad that this can serve as the definitive adaptation that people can get into. The manga’s really easy to get now because of the omnibus editions, but having a good, modern anime adaptation still goes a long way to bring new people in.

There’s some parts that haven’t quite aged well [*cough* Ritsu’s entire character *cough*] in a very 90′s kind of way, but as a whole this is the sort of story that has a sort of timeless emotional core to it, which is probably a big part of why it got a new adaptation.

You can also really tell that Funimation also has a lot of love for this series. With how they’ve been handling the simuldub, and how soon the BDs are gonna be coming out, I’m still convinced that they’ve been involved in the production of this new series from the start. In particular it’s been really neat seeing just how many of the 2001 dub cast they’ve managed to bring back for this. Including the reveal in this episode that they got Hiro’s old dub VA to voice Kakeru.

The more I think about it, the more fitting I think it is that this finale is very intentionally low-key and mostly serves to bring us back into the status quo while still hinting at future developments and mysteries. It’s just kinda nice to end the season off on a much more warm and happy note than how intense and bittersweet the last episode was.

Anyway, I’m probably gonna just spend the next however many months rewatching this while I wait for the second season, lol.

#murasaki rambles #fruits basket #this is probably gonna be my first or second favourite anime of the year tbh #I'm still tempted to buy the BDs of it as they come out

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carthonasi · 6 years

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My Thoughts on The Last Jedi

It’s been about 3 days now since I’ve seen The Last Jedi and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on the movie and man oh man, do I have some thoughts on this sucker. This would have been out sooner but I unfortunately had to work all weekend due to the movie’s release and have only gotten around to making this post now. Spoilers under the cut.

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Okay, spoiler time. I’m going to do split my thoughts into a pros and cons list, and for once, I’m actually going to start with the negatives considering all of the controversy surrounding the movie.

CONS

Luke’s characterization for a good bit of the film is so off. Like, come on, you expect me to believe the same Luke Skywalker who refused to kill his father would attempt to murder his nephew in his sleep? Nah, that’s fucking bullshit. I could buy it maybe passing his mind, but to physically turn on that lightsaber? No. It was shit. And it was clearly only there to give Kylo some sort of sympathetic backstory. There were other things that irked me about how Rian Johnson portrayed Luke, but that was my main grievance.

I’m sure someone has written up a better explanation as to why this sucks so I’ll just leave this here simply: I hated that Luke died

Rey and Luke’s plot on Ahch-to just felt like a let down to me. Nothing really deep here, just felt it didn’t live up to the hype. This might change after a second viewing.

I wasn’t a big fan of how much the movie focused on Kylo, including the majority of Rey’s plot being focused on saving him when just a movie ago she literally was ready to kill him for killing Han. (More on things I liked about Kylo in the Pros section)

WHY DID NO ONE BESIDES REY MENTION HAN??? WHY DIDN’T LEIA ESPECIALLY MENTION HAN??? WHY DIDN’T WE GET TO SEE LUKE REACT TO HIS FRIEND’S DEATH IF WE FOUND OUT THAT HE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT??? WHY WASN’T HAN MENTIONED MORE???

While I loved Finn and Rose and even liked their plotline (More later in the Pros), I felt the kiss from Rose came out of nowhere. I mean, it was obvious she had a crush, but idk. If they’re pushing FinnRose in the next movie, I’m gonna be slightly disappointed with the build up since their dynamic screamed platonic to me.

When we walked out, my brother mentioned to me that the humor felt “too much”. I didn’t agree or disagree with him at first since I had noted that something about the humor felt different, but now I agree with him as I saw someone mention exactly what type of humor this felt like. This was Marvel^TM humor. And not the good Thor Ragnarok kind. Some of this felt like the faux-Whedon quips that have become standard for Marvel movies. However, I will say that this doesn’t cover all of the humor, just that some of it felt like my brother said: “too much”

One thing that bugged me about the Holdo/Poe plot was that everything could have been avoided if she had told Poe the plan. Like, I understand this is a movie and they needed conflict, but this was handled very poorly in my opinion.

On the subject of Poe, his character felt slightly off compared to how he was portrayed in TFA and some other material. For a standalone movie, his arc was good and handled decently, but considering this is a follow up and the middle movie of a trilogy, it just seemed off to me. Maybe a second viewing will clear it up for me, but idk that was just my first impression.

Speaking of, I felt that while this movie worked really well and was very good as a standalone movie, I do not think it works well as a sequel to TFA. There were so many elements from TFA that seemed wasted or just completely forgotten. It was very obvious that this movie was written before TFA was finalized, as Rian Johnson has stated. Which leads me to…

Rey’s parentage reveal. It was shit.

Ok, so maybe I’m biased since this was a a subject I’ve been reading into for a while, but this “reveal” did not sit well with me. For one, the reveal came from the fucking villain in a moment where he was obviously trying to manipulate her, so you know, I’m not inclined to believe him. And secondly, the reveal doesn’t line up with what was in the TFA movie proper, or in the TFA novel for that matter, which was based off an earlier version of the script. If Rey’s parents were drunks who sold her off for drinking money and were in a desert grave, why was she shown in her force vision in TFA, crying out for someone in a spaceship to come back? Rey clearly wasn’t a slave in TFA. If she was, she wouldn’t have been able to leave Jakku. I think there are more discrepancies that others have pointed out, but the fact of the matter is, things just don’t line up. I sincerely get what Rian was trying to get across by having her be a random, but God, the execution was so fucking terrible if you look closely. I’m gonna elaborate more in another post on this subject once I see the movie again tomorrow, but fuck dudes, this was so disappointing.

Ok, on a less critical note, I just felt the movie dragged towards the end. By the time they reached Crait, I was like, we’re not done yet??? I might have just been tired so if this changes on a second viewing I’ll add an edit.

Snoke was kind of a disappointment, but I never really cared about him so it didn’t really bug me. Not really an extreme con like the majority of this list, but it’s still a negative so here it is.

Also, I’m adding this in after writing my pros, but I just realized R2 had so little to do and now I’m sad.

Ok, so a lot of negatives. But there are a lot of positives too so let’s get to those.

PROS

LEIA FUCKING ORGANA. LEIA USING THE FORCE. LEIA BEING AN AWESOME GENERAL. CARRIE FISHER’S PERFORMANCE. JUST. LEIA.

VICE. ADMIRAL. HOLDO. DID. THAT. I’m not gonna fucking lie, that was hands down my favorite scene in the fucking movie. Besides another scene in the movie, it’s the only one that had me genuinely awestruck in the theater.

MY BOY LUKE SHOWING UP IN AN AWESOME BLACK OUTFIT AND TRIMMED HAIR TO SHOW UP HIS SHITTY NEPHEW. THAT SHOULDER BRUSH WAS SUCH A MIDDLE FINGER TO KYLO I LOVE THAT MAN. MARK HAMILL GETS TOP MARKS FOR PORTRAYING LUKE NO MATTER HOW CRAPPY HIS CHARACTERIZATION WAS IN SOME PARTS.

Ok, I think I’m past the screaming section of this lol. Moving on, I absolutely adored Rose. While her initial scene was a bit iffy, I quickly fell in love with her. Kelly Marie Tran nailed it and I can’t wait to see more of her in Episode IX. I only wish that we had gotten to know Paige a little better and seen her relationship with Rose before she died, but considering how the film started, I’m not too surprised that didn’t happen.

You know who else I love with all my heart? My beautiful boy Finn. John Boyega continues to make me love him as he sold all of his scenes in this movie. From his scenes with Rose, to the fight with Phasma, he never stopped being such a damn delight to watch.

Speaking of Finn, FINNREY FUCKING LIVES. I loved all the moments where they referenced each other and I had the biggest smile on my face when they reunited. God I love those kids.

Speaking of ships, REY//O IS FUCKING DEAD IN THE GROUND. But seriously, how are shippers thinking that this movie confirmed their ship? If anything, this just confirmed that Kylo is forever lost to the dark side and that Rey will probably end up killing him. She literally shut the door on him how do misread that scene?

Kylo was a fantastic villain. Adam Driver did a great job of portraying him and I love the lengths they went to show just how shitty he is and just how manipulative and evil he is. They even gave him an out with a sympathetic backstory, but nope, he’s still a piece of shit. I’m so glad and relieved he’s not getting a redemption arc because he such a good bad guy.

That moment where Rey made it look like she was gonna take Kylo’s hand but then swerved and went for the lightsaber and then left his ass unconscious, I was like, “that’s my girl”

Also the lightsaber battle beforehand between Kylo, Rey, and Snoke’s guards was genuinely awesome to watch. A great fight scene. I didn’t get the same emotional feeling that I did watching Kylo and Rey’s duel in TFA but it was still fucking awesome to watch nonetheless.

R2 projecting Leia’s message nearly made me cry.

Another thing that actually made me tear up? Luke and Leia’s reunion, even if Luke was only an astral projection in hindsight. It felt like a goodbye to Carrie, even if it wasn’t shot that way, and his line to Leia (I can’t remember the exact quote) really fucking hurt.

John William’s Score. I feel like this is a given. I will however note that I think I enjoyed the score for The Force Awakens more. Nonetheless, it’s still John fucking Williams and as such it’s still fucking good

As you can see, I’ve got some very mixed feelings on the movie. No doubt I forgot to mention something, but I’m still pretty wiped from working all weekend. But I’ll just leave with this. I think as a standalone movie, this was very good. There were some great cinematic moments and awesome action sequences. Based on that, I’d probably give it an 8/10. However, as a follow up to TFA, it left me disappointed in many fields, which considering it was written before TFA was actually finished, isn’t all that surprising. So under that criteria, I give it 6/10.

However, I do think you guys should see the movie for yourselves and make your own opinions. It’s such a decisive movie that I think that the only way you’re gonna know how you feel about it for sure, is if you see it with your own eyes. And if you happen to love the movie, I’m happy you got an enjoyable experience.

#star wars #the last jedi #tlj spoilers #tlj #sw spoilers #star wars spoilers #my thoughts #sorry this is technically late since it's 12:13 my time #but this took longer than i thought to type up yikes

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nacsygen · 5 years

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speaking of fashion, i feel like rambling about my boobs, and this is my tumblr, so i will. also bc this is tumblr, i will frame my rambling about my boobs in the context of my mental health journey.

over the past coming up on four years, my mental health has had a drastic (thought not constantly) upwards trajectory, from ‘’trembling waif unable to hold a conversation without wanting to literally run and hide and/or cry’’ to ‘’wow, i just realized it’s been like two years since i felt like absolute shit for no real reason for more than, like, a day at a time. is this like...is this what being happy is like? wow!*” *”oh shit, now i have to actually live past 25...” part of it was maturing yes, bc no matter what bullshit they tell you, you’re still growing and maturing in your 20s too - and after that, too, for your whole life, really. the idea that you should have all your shit figured out by the time you’re 22 is some kind of implied propaganda we all internalized around when they were showing us the charts in middle school that showed the average incomes of people with different levels of degrees. and if you’re not the kind of person to have your shit together by 22 - say, you’re not neurotypical, or you’ve got un-dealt-with-traumas, or you’re just not the kind of person or at the stage in your life where post-secondary is the right fit for you, or any combination of the above, or anything else - when you DON’T have your shit together by the time you’re “supposed” to, it just feels like salt in the wound, when you’re different. it feels - no, it IS damaging, especially if you’ve never been able to really internalize the idea that it’s O K to be on a different life path than what you’re “supposed” to be. that is, in fact, the very thing that culminated in the worst and last (and i sincerely hope it’s the LAST) depressive episode of my life, around my 25th birthday. i feel sorry for the girl who was me from 20 to 25. poor thing hurt a lot, and too often. but the main part of my getting better was just getting help. or rather, my mom reaching out to do the research for me, finally recognizing that i wasn’t going to magically get better on my own and that guilt tripping and anger were not helping my crippling depressive withdrawal (and while i know that the physically disabled tend to not care for the psychologically disabled using the term “crippling”, in my case it definitely extended to the physically disabling in several very literal ways that i won’t get into here). my mom did the research and made me make the calls. i was very lucky that there was a low-income mental health center 15 minutes down the road. i was exceedingly lucky in that i got an incredible counselor who’d been through it herself, herself now (then) in her late 20s, early 30s, maybe one or two levels up from where i am now. my sessions with her literally changed and quite probably saved my life. i went from crying in every session and her gently and considerately seeing me out the back door of the office to minimize the strangers who’d see my raw vulnerability, to the sessions being the highlights of my week, with me eager to share with her my progress - to delight in finally becoming my true self again, to be vibrant, to find joy in things, to have things i could be happy to share with a professional friend. because of her guidance i learned how to change the way my mind had wired itself in a negative way, and to love myself again. because of her i was able to move on, move out, become self-sufficient - eventuallym because of how she taught me, to take care of myself and to keep growing, to love myself the way i love the world. to be happy, most of the time, when at the time we first met, i wasn’t sure i ever would be again. to take care of myself again but i was talking about boobs and fashion, right? the thing is, i’ve had essentially the same body type, my “adult” body, since i was 13. this body has, no matter its weight fluctuations, had proportionately significant breasts. (a blog post about afab body image and mental health would not be complete without at least one teenaged semi-traumatic anecdote - i once when i was in eighth grade got accosted by a group of older girls in the courtyard at school before class, demanding to know what i stuffed my bra with, and getting increasingly hostile and physically investigating said bra with harsh gropes when i said i didn’t stuff it at all. this was, needless to say, humiliating and traumatic, and i didn’t wear that tight turtleneck again for years.) the thing is this body that contains me is also exceedingly small in all other directions (except my head, i’ve got an adult human-sized head) compared to normal humanity. very short in height, narrow ribcage, ectothermic body structure, narrow limbs, narrow hips, child-sized hands and feet, etc. even when i was at my lowest weights, which i will always associate more with my worst depressive episodes than any kind of diet-culture positive, even when they were to my eye as flattened pancakes, i still had pretty alright boobs that i liked. but then, once i got healthy again, i naturally gained healthy weight. it came with eating more healthily, and eating with purpose, and not just because i would die if i didn’t, and even for a depressive starvation’s not a good way to go. it came from caring for the human animal, from realizing that i could never live with myself if i neglected a pet the way i was treating my human animal, because if i didn’t care for it, who would? eating with structure, at set times every day, and maintaining at least a mininum amount of calories needed, necessarily entailed that i would gain weight. and i welcomed that! most of my body issues when i was younger stemmed from my skinniness - i hated my fragility. i longed for and desired (in the gay way too, and probably though i didn’t realize it yet the non-cis way) and wished to be like girls with weight and heft to them, girls with thick thighs and arms, girls with muscle, girls with softness and roundness, girls with strength and solidity of frame. in comparison i felt like a ghost close to being torn to pieces in the wind, a collection of fragile bone in the shape of a person. but that’s not who i am anymore, and that’s no longer what i fear. but at least i always had my boobs, and with them, with being healthier mentally and physically going hand in hand, i was and have been able to measure my own healthiness by their size. by cupping them in my hands and counting how many fingers it takes to go from ribcage to the edge of areola, i can measure my own growth and well-being. they’re most of where i gain weight, and i’ve gone from two fingers and change at the worst to all four fingers plus a spare inch, besides, now, at what is currently the best. despite my current stressful situation, i am ultimately at my healthiest physically and mentally i’ve been since i was like 11. more, even, because i’m no longer anemic. and accordingly, my breasts are the largest they’ve ever been (not counting that time i was on birth control for a couple months, and my least tactful roommate asked if i was pregnant, and i stopped taking it because i decided crying myself to sleep every night for no reason probably wasn’t worth it). which brings me to fashion. and boobs. i’ve alluded to here and outright stated before that i identify as somewhere between nonbinary and bigender. all i know, really, in our limited current vocabulary, is i’m not cis female. but you know? i like my boobs. i’m pan, i reserve the right to like boobs, even love them, even if they’re on my body, even if i’m not “female”. i live in and love and feel at home in a climate, and otherwise a culture, where female-coded dress (tank tops and short-shorts, sundresses) are far, far more comfortable than male-coded dress (heavy thick shorts or jeans, a t-shirt with an undershirt for god knows what reason - they can’t know we have nipples!!). i reserve the right as a non-binary/bigender person (yes i’m aware that’s a contradiction in terms, so am i) to reject the idea that my physical interpretation of my presentation as leaning femme means i’m female. fuck you. you ever wore a sundress in the florida summer? you ever wore heavy khaki knee-length cargo shorts paired with sneakers and socks and an undershirt and a t-shirt in the florida summer? which would you guess is more comfortable? i rest my case. oh, i almost forgot to get to the point, which is that as my breasts have gotten more prominent, some of my favorite comfy dresses have somehow become Problematic in Public. they are now Too Booby. larger breasts in and of themselves, even in the same dresses but instead of with smaller breasts (that’s Fashion tm), carry with them Implications of Sexiness. Luridness. Provocativeness. as someone who’s had both small boob privilege and big boob sexy, this is completely obnoxious and at the same time culturally unavoidable. in my current favorite dress, which fits me like it was tailored to me despite got from goodwill, it cups and supports my breasts lovingly in its bodice and flows beautifully asymetrically down from the high waist line that is also flattering to my body type. i love it, i absolutely adore it, i love the way it makes me look, i love the way it fits me perfectly, i love the way it makes me feel. but it is definitely a Boobs On Display dress. it’s so low cut in the front of the neckline, and boosts my already large breasts enough, that you can see a significant curve of underboob. and they are objectively gorgeous breasts! but this dress, having them On Display, apparently, instead of my love of its supportive and flowing embrace of my body, indicates i’m On Display when i wear it. that’s...a little dysphobic and dysmorphic. it means i can’t wear it in any situation where i want to appear Professional, bc boobs Aren’t Professional. it means i have to think about what situations i can wear it in and how people will judge me for it, this my new favorite dress. it means people will think i’m Lurid and Sexual by virtue of having and showing so much cleavage, while in my mind i’m just delighting in how comfortable it is and how good i feel in it.. yeah, i’m not cis, yeah, i love looking pretty, fuck me, i guess. my last girl told me once “holy shit, you’re like jessica rabbit” after i sent her some of my favorite chest-centric selfies. i’m not bad, i’m just drawn that way. i’m not a comic book heroine, i was just born that way. except also with a gut and no ass. life is full of compromise.

#t #i'd rather you not reblog unless you can identify also in this extremely specific way and if so leave tags

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kinetic-elaboration · 7 years

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February 2: Thoughts on 4x01 Echoes

Mmmmkay, literally JUST finished watching 4x01. I’m very proud of myself because I completely avoided ALL spoilers and I’m not going to unblock tumblr until I finish this reaction post so I can write down my totally spontaneous and unadulterated thoughts.

My general reaction: I actually kind of liked it. I wouldn’t say I liked it as much as Seasons 1 and 2 and I wouldn’t say I’m optimistic about the season and frankly I still have a lot of complaints, most of which are so general I don’t think they’ll ever be resolved BUT I would undoubtedly say that 4x01 was better than 3x01 and I’m actually looking forward to 4x02; it looks like just the kind of plot I like: tense, self-contained, lots of delinquents.

(loooong reaction under the read more)

So some things I didn’t like first so I can get my negativity out of the way:

I never fully believed that either Jarod Joseph or Chelsey Reist were going to be regulars because I thought that people were reading a lot into kind of vague tweets but I wanted to believe it, especially with Jarod Joseph and honestly even though I don’t like Harper…they both deserve main status by now. I mean they’ve lasted this fucking long. I cannot believe Zack McGowan gets main status and Jarod and Chelsey don’t.

I don’t give a fuck about the Grounders. I don’t! I don’t care!! And I will never care. So all this Polis shit, Grounder politics, Echo yammering on, blah blah blah. I can’t follow it and I don’t even want to follow it. In my incredibly subjective opinion, it really weighs the show down.

Roan constantly sounds like he’s having a * Tina Fey voice * talking like this contest. I have no idea what his real voice sounds like but if this is at all a put on accent he needs to tone it down for realsies I cannot take him seriously.

Monty/Harper. Get it away get it away. (I’m not going to go into why I hate them but rest assured every reaction I write this entire season will have some variation of this point, if the episode in question features them as a couple at all. Having a canon NoTP is such a fannish burden so I’m going to whine about it at top volume all the time.)

NO MILLER. A TRAVESTY.

This isn’t entirely the show’s fault but I roll my eyes every time I hear L*xa’s name, like some kind of Pavlovian dog, so obviously I did a lot of eye rolling and now my eyes kind of hurt. In particular, Clarke’s overwrought sadness about her was just so… I’m done, I’m tired of it, I don’t care. I know I’m not being fair, because in the timeline of the show obviously L’s death is very close. But, first off, I don’t think Clarke loved her at all—I think she thinks she did but she did not, and I don’t think that line would even have been included if it weren’t for RL events. Second, and relatedly, I think that little scene with Abby and the Dramatic Single Tear TM when she hands over the chip were so clearly about appeasing fans and doing penance for daring to kill a lesbian that they took me out of the show. I wasn’t watching Clarke in Polis, I was watching Eliza Taylor acting on a set. I hope that’s the end of that, and we never have to deal with that shit again.

I didn’t like Kane’s line to Bellamy about eventually deserving to survive. I know why it’s in there, both in an in-universe and in a line-to-the-fans way, but frankly my initial thought is: all human beings deserve survival. It’s not like only good people should be allowed to live a radiation free life lol. And second, can we just leave him the fuck alone already? I’m done with the Bellamy dogpile. Let’s hope that shit’s done too.

Speaking of lines I didn’t like, Bellamy calling Clarke Princess is basically the definition of Do Not Want. It’s the sort of thing that, small as it is, makes me think that the writers don’t know their own creation and it makes me lose faith in them again. That name was an insult—it was always a fucking insult, it’s not cute, it’s not a pet name, and it has no place in the Bellarke relationship anymore. Such an unnecessary false note. (I probably seem/am disproportionately mad about it…but I hate it.)

I could have done without that last scene. It just looked so….fake. Again it just took me out of the show completely. Was it supposed to show us how dire everything is? I got that message the last 20 times lol.

The stuff I did like:

BELLAMY. There wasn’t enough of him, but he was A FUCKING STAR in the scenes he did get, especially the negotiation scene. Like I could list every line I liked and every moment I liked and that would probably be more proportional to the degree I liked them but it’s probably faster and more efficient to say that I loved it all. I loved that he and Clarke acted like (mostly) equal co-leaders. I liked that they looked to each other all the time, and had all of these silent eye-communication moments. I liked the scene with him and Kane and Indra before the meeting with Echo, I loved that Echo views him as the only Sky Person she’ll talk to, and I loved…basically all of it but I guess what I’m trying to say is I loved both how he handled the negotiation and that HE was the one doing it.

Indra was killing it in this ep too. I loved the hug with Kane of course. I loved her and Murphy in the pre-negotiation scene (“I never agreed to [guns].” / “That’s because you’re not stupid.”) (She and Murphy need their own show like I would watch it.) I like how she’s basically chilling with the Sky People now—like the little scene in the temple had such a cool collection of characters, I was digging it. (Except for Octavia…who I really don’t know what to make of this season yet so.)

Speaking of Murphy…. Okay, I wasn’t impressed by Murphy/Emori in Season 3 but I did like their scenes in this episode. Unfortunately, I was really looking forward to them joining up with the Sky People in Arkadia; I want to see another Grounder trying to find a place in Arkadia (since Lincoln was brutally murdered and all) and I want to see Murphy re-integrate himself because tbh he really is at his best when he has people to play off of. People who aren’t Emori. So I was a little bummed when they ran off into the night together because I really don’t care to watch the two of them in a vacuum and also…we already saw that? But anyway I did like their scenes in this ep so they’re in the positive column. I also like that we finally got an explanation as to why Emori took the chip.

I’ve had sort of mixed feelings about Jaha because I’m not sure whether or not I can follow his story line/character progression or not but I will say: I am 100% Team Jaha as of right now. I do think that, whatever he was on the Ark or in S1, his late S1/early S2 transformation was genuine, and he really is trying to be a good person who helps people. I hope he finds the salvation and the purpose he’s been looking for. And his role in the little ploy with Octavia and the shroud was great.

That whole sequence was probably the strongest in the episode. I think one of The 100’s greatest weaknesses at this point is the complexity of its various allegiances and all the old bad blood that’s been spilled everywhere. I haven’t seen S3 since it aired and so even as a pretty big fan I still find some stuff hard to follow—it’s hard to remember who betrayed who when and all this shit and even though some Obvious Exposition is peppered in to help us along, it’s not enough for me sometimes. But this spider web of interconnected relationships, both good and bad, is also an asset of the show and I thought that middle sequence, from the “we surrender” line to Roan waking up, really played all of that up in a good way. It brought a lot of characters and a lot of history together in a way that generally worked very well. I liked the shroud ploy (though omg the Azgeda warriors are dumb AF—how could Octavia just get up and walk around and no one noticed her? Like they’re all looking outward and no one’s looking at the big ol’ empty middle of the room? And then she, a child who lived sixteen very unhealthy years under the floor and has been on Earth probably less than a year with only a handful of months of warrior training if that is able to take out a whole room of the most fearsome warriors in the post-apocalypse? It defies belief I’m sorry). I liked the Griffins operating together. I loved the tension. (Lessened somewhat by knowing Roan would live, what with him being a main and all.) Loved the whole goshdarn thing.

Most of the Arkadia stuff was pretty eh but only in that there wasn’t much of it, and what there was, we’d seen before in promotional clips and stuff (though I will say: they did better with the promotional stuff this year; I think last year they gave away some of their surprises in a way that made the scenes ring very false on a first viewing imo). But obviously I loved my boy Jasper. I would have found his almost-suicide very hard to watch if I hadn’t known it was coming but as it was, I could be more detached about it. I wish we’d seen more of his room but what we did see was interesting (I have an obsession with the Ark/Arkadia sets okay): his art—not just Maya’s favorite painting but another one near the door; his goggles with the plastic over the eyes knocked out—like him, just a shell of their former selves; all his random tools on his desk like why does he have those?; his notebooks. And, oh, that he left a suicide note to Monty. And even just their small interaction at the door was great.

Also… while in a way I find it an odd beat for him to go from his last scene with Monty in 3x16 to almost killing himself in 4x01, mere hours later in the canon timeline… I believe it, and I’m glad that my previous fears, that the show would just forget what he’d gone through and do a Jasper re-set in the new season, can be put to rest. I liked and believed in his transition from really-ready-to-die, to well-the-world’s-gonna-kill-me-and-make-it-easy-might-as-well-enjoy-Earth.

But the best Arkadia scene was the one between Jasper and Raven. First of all because I FUCKING CALLED IT that Raven shouldn’t have the sort of coding/computer abilities that she has. I hypothesized that she might have improved her skills at some point during the S2-S3 hiatus because her disability lessened her ability to do legwork, but I also mentioned that it could have been ALIE which still means I WAS RIGHT BOOM. (I just like being right a lot okay.) Also the “upgrade” talk reminded me of Dollhouse. Which was exciting but also made me all bitter and mad because Dollhouse did the idea of artificial upgrades to your brain so much better. Made me feel inspired for my Dollhouse AU though so there’s that.

I don’t ship Jasper/Raven but I do friend-ship them and I hope they bond over having been ALIE-d.

Also speaking of being AlIE-d, I don’t think Harper forgives Jasper for what his chipped self did. And she probably shouldn’t honestly because my theory is still that ALIE pulled from the real feelings and thoughts of chipped people and maybe someday I’ll write a full explanation of why I think that—which isn’t to say that Jasper wants to hurt Harper but just to say that ‘pleading the chip’ isn’t as straightforward as all that. Still, even though it makes sense narratively, because I will pick Jasper over pretty much everyone this is sorta another reason to unfairly dislike Harper. If there is anything even remotely like a Monty having to choose scenario I will be very perturbed though. (This isn’t something I especially liked or disliked, the thought just occurred to me while I was talking about Arkadia stuff.)

It’s pretty early to say anything about her at all but Unnamed Possible Priestess (Kenza??) is looking so promising. First, we know from the trailer she’s gorgeous and I’m always here for that. Second and to be less shallow for a second, Indra seems to know her, maybe, so that could be cool. And third, while I have yet to be impressed by Grounder religion, I am very curious to see if she’s going to be bringing in a different aspect to their spirituality. I don’t know her but I already want to see her go head to head with Roan.

I had a bit of a discussion/ramble with my mom yesterday when she was telling me a bit about the episode in a vague spoiler-free way and I was trying to explain when I like Clarke (when she’s a co-leader with a reasonably sized head, when she’s cunning and imaginative like in early S2) (early S2 Clarke is my favorite Clarke fyi) and when I don’t like her (when she’s arrogant, when she thinks she can do everything herself, when she doesn’t listen to others—basically season 2B Clarke and Clarke in parts of S3), and she said I thought I would like her in this ep. I was on the fence. I liked her with Bellamy. And she had moments that objectively I probably should have liked but I’ve just been so tired of her shit for so long it’s hard for me not to feel Tired Of Her in general. But… I guess I’ll say I think Clarke looks promising.

I kind of loved how at the end of the episode when Kabby were saying goodbye to their children and story-line heirs Bellarke, Abby says “Okay let’s do this” or some such, and then the first thing she does is hug Clarke. I know she means “okay, let’s accomplish the plan, which means separating, so I gotta say goodbye to my daughter first” but it looked a little like the “this” was hugging. Which is sort of sweet.

…Um wow I’ve written a lot and I can’t think of anything so I guess I’m done FOR NOW.

Looking forward to lots of delinquents, some hopefully cool tense scenes, more Miller and Bryan, and Clarke in a better outfit next time.

#the 100 #the 100 spoilers #the year 2017 #2017: the 100 s4 #2017: fandom thoughts #s4 reactions

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