#we'll see what i can find

[andorshitdaily]

The long-awaited, triumphant return of Incorrect Aldhani

#look this doesn't make sense it's just funny okay #embrace it #andor #taramyn barcona #gorn #lieutenant gorn #incorrect aldhani #andor shitpost of the day? #andor meme #op #there may or may not be better ones coming #we'll see what i can find #also should probably expand to other crews but #i love these idiots too much

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

after failing miserably the first go around, (crochet) Home's walls are complete! we're less than halfway there but hey! The Walls!

#wally. doesnt quite fit... but thats okay! #not all homes are meant to be entered i think #ok that top photo is. At An Angle. #ALL OF THE WALLS ARE SYMMETRICAL I SWEAR!! #i kept careful track as you can see on that sticky note! #counted the normal rows AND the blo rows! #FUCK I FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE OF THE ~freshly blocked~ FLOOR #photos from the bog #ok i got the walls (majority of it anyway) and the floor done #whats left is the wall Triangles + roof + detail #OH! and i need to get some felt #just a lil somethn to glue to the interior to make sure it remains Sturdy #this will be a box after all! fully functional and Delightful to have on my shelf! #what will i put in this small home. fuck if i know but we'll find out eventually! #maybe she'll hold my chapstick collection... #OH! OR MY STICKERS! the ones that dont have a Surface yet! #oh thats perfect :]c home can keep my unused stickers safe for me :]c

[fisheito]

i wanted to see altaria rei then i started goofin around

#the only ones i could see clearly were eevee eiden and morpeko morvay #i couldn't pin rei to a single mon bc i don't know a THING ABOUT HIM yet #but i want to see ghost type rei fight ghost type kuya and they're both just super effective against each other #i wonder if all the old men automatically get honourary ghost type membership. live 300 years ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: spooky #ANYWAY LET ME TALK ABOUT MY LIST #as in the list i was compiling of pokemon who matched the VIBE of someone and i couldn't decide #now BESIDES the ones req et al. already mentioned. which i already 👍👍👍 i was trying to find even moooore . exploring what could be..... #rei: altaria. marowak (alolan). noctowl. chandelure. decidueye. ribombee [a quiet friend :)]. inteleon. #once again i don't know rei's birdy deal yet so i won't (eheheh) pigeonhole him into an owl pokemon but we'll just wait and see #i had inteleon under rei before milke brought up sobble yakumo so now i'm like..... oh no... #rei fits the last evol and yakumo fits the first two.... uhhhhh #they can share. like they share gem placement. butt buddies. #yakumo had: girafarig. froslass. azurill (crying). tropius. wishiwashi. leavanny. marshadow. #i just want him to hang out with the food related mons and enjoy some fresh fruit with a giant flying dinosaur. yah #OK FOR EDMOND I SAW SIRFETCH'D AND COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING #WHAT A REGAL BOY. I HAVE TO. PLEASE I NEED EDMOND TO WIELD ONIONS #i was trying to be serious and find him a proper majestic pokesona . i swear. but the look on sirfetch'd's's face #edmond's list went: skarmory. lucario. cinccino. zeraora. dachsbun. #do i know edmond? i doubt. he's fluffy. wait no he's severe. wait no would he dare carry a fluffy cakey pokemon around? DARE HE???? #for olivine i was even more stumped. seems like a lot of the pokemon i immediately thought of were the fluffy nurse types #stuff like chansey/blissey. kangaskhan. #this pokemon is 100% female? *flings pokedex out the window* no. olivine is a gender now #some of the newer pokemon i considered were bewear. drampa. mabosstiff. #but once again these were all just Protective of the Little Ones types #so i was imagining olivine just chilling with his serene smile and an army of MASSIVE CARETAKER POKEMON behind him #but. there has to be more to him than just taking care of others . furrows brow. idk. i'll settle for lapras FOR NOW #ditto eiden riding on the back of lapras. wonderful. glorious #pokemon crossover

[raiiny-bay]

drew the boys :-)

#myart #dhestyn #kelly #they're in their pjs :-) #anyway i think i like this drawing style??? i'm gonna tryyyyy?? to maintain it? #like it kinda suits them i think? #idk my art style is generally very inconsistent which is why i usually don't like drawing #BUT if i can find a style i like & keep it then i can finally start working on a comic #which is what i really wanna do #reading webtoons has influenced me to actually maybe try so we'll see

[pallanophblargh]

I think part of me expected this burnout would last a long time, but it’s drawing close to a year now. I have a strong reason to suspect medications are prolonging it. Granted: I have no intention of stopping medication, but I suspect I may need to make some changes. It’s been nice not to feel burning rage/crippling despair/panic most of the time, but I also miss being able to actually... act on things! Start things! Feel some semblance of motivation, as fleeting as it is. Mostly my reaction to prompts of any kind are “nah, don’t wanna” or “so what?” which isn’t terribly conducive to anything more than day to day life. (Y’all, I can’t even reliably plan my vacation and that’s pretty terrible.)

I’m saying this in part as a sort of explanation as to why I’ve been so slow to respond to anything, or post any art, or even re-open commissions this past year. I just... generally can’t make myself do anything that isn’t a part of my daily maintenance routine. Knowing that making art (even personal art) takes 3x times as long to complete is a standout reason I’ve been refusing to reopen commissions especially, since I’d be unwilling to make clients wait more than a few months for even something as simple as a sketch. People were patient enough with “Old Me,” I don’t think most would hold out for “New Me.”

Thankfully I’m speaking to my doctor tomorrow regarding my experiences on the current medication, and maybe I can find something that works a little better. I feel like I’ve been pretty fortunate so far, all things considered, and my side effects have been fairly mild. (Though I have suspicions it’s also thinning out my hair something fierce... probably time for supplements for that issue!)

Hopefully I’ll figure it out sooner rather than later? Either way, I’m learning to accept things as they are these days. 

#April rambles #text post #mental health #medication #I know I'm one of the lucky ones but I'm still not discounting my aggravations #like yeah I'd like to think I should be capable of motivation #but at what cost? #and I never thought I'd care so much about hair loss but yikes I never had a lot of hair to begin with #wanting to cry anytime I see someone with a full head of thick hair #guess I'm kinda shallow after all lol #I have some beef regarding my other issues and suspicions but whatever #I can deal with them later #but I still find it hard to believe I've been assigned Just Anxiety instead of low grade well masked ADHD #Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whatever #I'm a pleasant zombie for the most part are you happy? #I can't be arsed to do really anything are you sure that's just anxiety? #I'm literally masquerading as an apathetic potato most of the time now with meds so yeah ok sure? #we'll get there someday I hope #shit count my blessings it could be so much worse

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Thinking about:

The two moments in ep 1 (6:08) and ep 2 (32:37) when Jihyun is seen in the background between Jaewon and Tae Hyung/Eun Ji respectively.

The way Jaewon's taller shadow engulfs Jihyun's smaller shadow as Jaewon walks towards Jihyun on the beach in ep 2.

Yoon Won singing on the beach.

Just how fantastic Yoon Won, Ae Ri, and Jihyun's boss are.

How it looks like Jaewon drew himself and his younger brother and maybe a young Jihyun in the landscape of the Han river in ep 4.

The way Jaewon tugs Jihyun into him after putting the rucksack on Jihyun in ep 4 (7:03).

The tale of the country mouse who ran back home (ep 4)...and me wondering if it's foreshadowing a separation and/or time skip in future eps.

Jihyun keeping Jaewon's art in case he becomes famous...and me wondering if that will come back if there's a time skip/separation at the end.

The fact that the therapist is always in the same top, which might indicate that the therapy scenes are all from the same session...maybe meaning everything else that's happening are flashbacks from the time of the session...which ends in ep 5. There are no scenes of the therapy session in ep 6.

The bust on the shelf in the therapists room, with hands over its eyes...

Jihyun's dream of going to the Hanson Tower with a lover and putting a lock up there...and me hoping he'll do that with Jaewon.

The "traffic won't stop for you" sign behind Jaewon as he gets drunk in ep 5 and talks about siblings. If it turns out his brother died because he ran into the road I will throw fists.

The way Jaewon's little brother is dressed in a light blue t-shirt with something cream over the top in the flashback and then Jihyun is also wearing light blue/grey under a cream jacket in the next scene.

Jaewon's "We are always living in other's frameworks in this world". And "Don't try to get out of the box".

The silence as the credits roll at the end of ep 6.

#the eighth sense #the 8th sense #t8s #I don't gif and viki prevents screenshots so all I can do is bounce them around in my brain like a washing machine #I'm not making predictions about ep 6... #well apart from after my second watch I think the beach scene IS real #but from the point of the overhead shot of them lying on the surfboards on the beach #until them surfing again feels like it's in one or both of their imaginations #that's the point where continuity fails for me #so I think they either talk about the possibility of spending the night together #or one of them (maybe jihyun) imagines/daydreams the bed scene #and then they go back into the water where jihyun almost drowns #I think he gets taken to hospital but he's fine #jaewon however will then distance himself from jihyun because he's scared he can't keep him safe #anyway... #I also wonder what trauma jihyun has suffered because he's hinted to it a couple of times #and I don't just mean the water hazing #but we'll see #I can't believe I have to wait SIX more days to find out 😭

[densewentz]

exhausted health update because I have to rant somewhere lol

So we're ending day 12 of my mysterious right-sided numbness. It's moved from just my torso all the way down my right leg to my toes, so now I'm just hobbling around half numb rip. And now the torso numbness feels like im being vacuum sealed or something, just a horrible tightness and lack that makes it impossible to ignore. Went to the ER the other night and had 2 panic attacks within the span of the several hours I was there, got my bloodwork redone and a cat scan which all came back with a big Nothing on them. They told me I needed an MRI but that I'd have to go through my Primary Care and after I told them my primary wouldnt see me until May they referred me to a new primary not in my network so that's been a dead end rip. So far everyone is pointing at my horrific anxiety as the cause but not one doctor has actually offered me help for the anxiety despite me having the active panic attacks in the office lol. My Primary wont see me for several months despite the severity of my current condition and none of the mental health programs I've reached out to will get back to me so for now I'm just. Existing in this anxiety Ouroboros where my anxiety causes my numbness which causes anxiety which causes numbness. I'm trying stupid home remedies to try and minimize the active anxiety attacks but so far we've just been circling around alternating Holy Basil, Benadryl and literally just drinking Rum and going to sleep, which sure all help my anxiety a little maybe but also make it almost impossible for me to function normally during the day. This is making art difficult so commissions are going slow which is obviously making me more anxious lol. I also am home alone most of the week managing the household, which is made more difficult since right now the numbness in my foot/leg makes it dangerous for me to drive and difficult for me to get around my house to do daily tasks. Idk man I'm just tired as all hell and I seem to vacillate wildly between full anxiety breakdowns and depressive/dissociative episodes. At any rate during the week I'll just be constantly calling and harassing every doctor/therapist I can get a number for trying to find someone who will be able to either address my anxiety directly or can at least get me into an MRI to rule out MS or anything else that ISNT anxiety. I'm going to become the bane of the medical profession for a while. Wish me luck!

#personal #dense rants #medical stuff #ive been really absent headed and floaty today so im a little concerned im heading into a full dissociative episode but #guess we'll see #i moved from my temporary space in our spare room back into my normal room so that'll be interesting #and my weighted blanket idea backfired since i can only find my 30lb and not my 15lb #and the 30 is a little too constricting when im already half numb #my knee also feels like gelatin so walking has become.... precarious #but it is what it is i guess #here's hoping it goes away eventually #if anyone has any other weird back alley ways of handling their chronic and extreme anxiety hmu bc im basically ready to try anything lol #if nothing else i got the satisfaction of giving the double middle fingers to every family member and health professional #who couldnt FATHOM that all of my test results came back as a big No for diabetes #because as a fat girl obviously that's the only possible thing it could be #like im not even pre-diabetic im literally healthy as a horse aside from the numbness thing #so suck on that health and diet industry

[karmageddeon]

Doing some more work on the comic viewer since I haven't worked on it for a few months :] I think it's coming along nicely! I'm not entirely sure what else I'm gonna add to it yet. The transcript system is a lil different than the one that the SC pages have and it's a little wonky so I'm thinking of altering it a bit but I'm not entirely sure how I'm gonna do that yet... We'll see.

#as of rn the transcripts are just collapsible tabs on each update but I'm gonna see if i can find a way to make it a little more- #-user friendly. i have a few ideas but i havent actually tested them at all yet so i guess we'll just have to see what i can do... #bootstrap is making this entire process a LOT easier #ill just have to see how i can make it a little more efficient. idk yet #right now my code is pretty complex and clunky and I'd like to reduce its complexity if i can #itll save me a lot of stress in the future i think... #text #btw i make posts like this bc this is currently a development blog!

[blackbirdblackbird]

Maybe it’s time for Kara to try this gauntlet instead of Supergirl.

#L: kara are you even listening to me? #k: you are so hot #supercorp #supergirl #spgrl s06e15 #*mp #L: yeah supergirl's okay I guess but kara is my hero and also my wife #also idk but I'm having vague ideas about the courage whatsit tying into the 513 reveal moments #and after this convo also 'kara danvers you're my hero' #and maybe after that like just some random quiet moment with lena #and she either isn't in control or she's pulled out before she can do anything #she's back in the tower and lena is right there being all concerned and supportive bc it didn't work again #but then it hits kara that it is trying to get her to tell lena #though not about supergirl but about how she feels #lena in this middle of this rant like we'll figure out this stupid thing if it thinks you aren't courageous it's broken #she kinda trails off seeing kara smiling at her and kara says #it's okay. I figured it out. #and she takes lena's hand and tells her what they both already know but haven't had the courage to actually say yet #they kiss with the sound of the courgae thing telling them it worked in the bg but they both ignore it #at least until alex finds them making out #and kara is like look we were doing the courage thing okay this is very important world saving kissing just listen

[eomer]

It's been a sickly year when I got covid in February and came back wrong from it, but I managed to draw things and be happy about them when I was feeling good. I'm hardly feeling the inspiration for Middle-Earth fan art with the exception of my oc's, but they've been a well of inspiration at least. Newish old characters surfaced and i'd like to get something with them going. I've realized that on tumblr at least my art is scattered over my various sideblogs, and i hate that!! So i've made an artblog and will slowly fill it with old stuff before advertising the link to it.

As usual I cherish each like, comment, and reblog my silly doodles get. <333

#my doodles #art memes #as for commissions since ive had inquiries #i dont feel like my stuff is good enough to be paid money yet. i dont say this to be self deprecating #but my adhd brain has a problem with processing what people are describing too so if i can find a way to deal with that #i might open up art trades with other people and maybe even a collaboration tho we'll see

[archivedbyebye]

evermore by taylor swift ft. bon iver is the most rayllum-during-the-two-year-timeskip song i apologize for nothing

#listing lyrics incoming - “I've been down since july” #“i replay my footsteps on each stepping stone. trying to find the one where i went wrong” #“can't remember what i used to fight for” #“can we just just get a pause to be certain we'll be tall again?” #“whether weather be the frost or the violence of the dog days” #“is there a line that I could just go cross?” #“In the cracks of light i dreamed of you and it was real enough to get me through” - Hello??? this is literally canon #(see chasing shadows) #YEA???? #wonderfully angsty let me tell you #tdp #rayllum #rayla x callum #callum x rayla #the dragon prince #through the moon #ttm

[athenaholmesartistsguild]

I've only just started chapter 3 of Gaiden but I am absolutely obsessed with the theme of powerlessness and how it's conveyed within the game.

I can't help but notice how often Kiryu says he 'doesn't have a choice' when doing pretty much anything. Even if it's in super banal, low-stakes interactions like doing something for Akame, he's constantly stating that he feels as if he has no agency in his current situation.

In the previous Kiryu Saga games, Kiryu is painfully aware of the consequences of his actions, but he still regards them as choices that he made; not something he was forced into.

His status as a Daidoji agent has basically beaten him into submission. He'll occasionally try to fight against this absolute control over him, but he's eventually returned to his position as a pawn in this huge, shadowy organization. The Daidoji are the first organization/power structure that managed to get control over Kiryu's tendency to burn shit to the ground and good god do they take advantage of that.

But then Kiryu's also painfully aware that this is the reality he asked for. Not only does he outright say this multiple times, but he's telling others that 'they started this' when they're confronting him and it's so obvious that he's talking to himself.

He's constantly bouncing between feeling miserable and powerless and then resenting these feelings and berating himself for having them in the first place. He's grasping at any sliver of control he can still have over his life, not to find meaning in his new existence, but to further punish and abuse himself.

I can't remember the exact post, but I saw someone describe Gaiden as a love letter to the Kiryu Saga and that's the best way to describe it, I think.

Kiryu's arc in his games is an incredibly slow car crash where we witness in painful detail how incapable he is of permanently leaving his life as yakuza to protect his family.

He has this almost codependent relationship with the Tojo Clan and feels a compulsive urge to get involved in the constant crises happening.

Of course, there were outside factors that were trying to pull him into these conflicts. Everyone believes that he's the only one who can fix everything. Kiryu's name carries power. Isn't it disgustingly selfish to refuse to get involved when he was the one who chose the clan's chairmen?

How could he refuse to deliver a single letter after the 5th chairman was shot right in front of him?

How could he ignore the people threatening to take his orphanage away from him and his kids?

How could he tell his daughter that she can't become an idol because of his past?

How could he justify staying alive when it did nothing but bring harm to his family?

What choice did he have?

But remember, you chose this, Kiryu.

#Ughhhhh Gaiden's so fucking good you guys. #I'm both super excited for Infinite Wealth and absolutely terrified of what's gonna happen. #I can just tell it's gonna fuck me up. #Guess we'll see how much damage Gaiden does first :') #I also find it interesting how Kashiwagi seems to be more of a parental figure in Kiryu's life than Kazama. #I'll probably write something more detailed later but Kiryu has a line at the end of the ChatGPT quest where he mentions Kashiwagi #and I thought it was interesting that he was more concerned with making Kashiwagi mad than Kazama. #Almost as if Kazama wasn't around as much as Kashiwagi. #yakuza analysis #kiryu kazuma #like a dragon gaiden spoilers #yakuza 6 spoilers #tagging is kinda weird since the Yakuza series got rebranded lol. Obviously 'Like a Dragon' fits better than 'Yakuza' #since all our protags leave the Yakuza like. Immediately. #But I feel like in a few years there's gonna be a divide between people who are new to the series and the pre-rebrand fans tagging-wise. #all us moldy oldies are gonna be using the 'Yakuza' tag while the other half of the fandom is tagging everything with 'LAD' #But it's always fun to watch fandoms evolve and change so I guess we'll see!

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Hmm I think organizing by kinks would be great, or maybe based on when/where the fics take place primarily…? Like PLF, Kamino, fantasy, ect

Also interesting, hmm.

#this is turning to be a lot of work #my bestie also suggested by subgenre and then i tried to look at what other people do and those are not very specific from what i can find #and i did not anticipate how much work this was gonna be #so we'll have to wait and see if i actually do this #I think im out of spoons for the day for complicated projects tho #i spent 4 hours working on a dice commission only to reach the conclusion i need to redo it and i wanna set something on fire #tanco speaks #ask #asks

[rotisseries]

I am the number one mike gets vecna'd truther. I have damn near 100% confidence that mike gets vecna'd. there is no version of s5 that I can imagine where mike doesn't get vecna'd. he will be shown horrendous visions and he will scream and cry and veccy boy will get his homophobic dog moment and mike is gonna be shaken up and refusing to tell anyone what he saw and it will be the most important, impactful, and jaw dropping vecna scene of the season, and I will be pulling up the cristiano ronaldo gif

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #he is just like. the perfect target. how would he NOT get vecna'd? #bc like. I'm a firm believer that more people will get vecna'd next season #like yeah sure he doesn't NEED to torment and kill more people but he'll do it for fun #no way the duffers introduced a villain who can see people's inner fears and guilts and then they use it twice and never again right? #so obvs people will get vecna'd next season. and mike is a PRIME target #a. vecna's main targets are el and will. both of whom love mike and are really close with him #two birds one stone‚ if vecna wants to consider himself a good villain‚ that right there is reason enough to get Mike #b. while again‚ I do think multiple characters will get vecna'd and therefore we'll see a lot of different headspaces #we mostly already know what a lot of the characters fear and feel guilty about. whereas mike is still supposed to be a mystery to us #we're not being shown his pov‚ so when we finally ARE‚ it will have the most impact of any possible vecna vision any of the characters get #''why do you say it'd be most impactful rori?'' #bc listen. they're gonna want another impactful vecna scene. a running up that hill part two. but you can't beat max's scene. it's too good #the impact in max's scene comes from her escape‚ from her choosing to live‚ for her loved ones #which means if you want another emotionally impactful vecna scene‚ it can't be about the escape‚ that can't be where the impact is #or it will just feel like a cheaper rendition of max's scene #so the impact MUST come from finding out what haunts the character #and I FULLY believe there will be nothing quite as jaw dropping as vecna visions revealing mike's sexuality and how he feels about it #the only things that would probably come close would be el or will getting shown more aspects of the supernatural plot #but I'm pretty sure we're at a point in the story where we have most of the information #and we won't be getting anything super insane on that front

[orcelito]

So some pipes in the back hallway fucking exploded last night at work & they had to evacuate the whole building. Boss says they had a plumber in last night so it should be safe, but to let him know whether there's anything that'll get in the way of being open, So.

I'm the lucky bastard who opens today, so I'm playing disaster investigator 😃 we'll fuckin see how this goes.

#speculation nation #if we dont have clean running water im gonna b like 'sorry boss man but i do Not think we can be open today' #but. well. if everything's working fine. then i guess ill be doing damage control. #since they had to Literally evacuate the building they werent able to do any of the closing dishes last night #so. we'll see what state i find the store in. it'll be a #an interesting adventure i guess. #......sigh.......

[princeofhags]

I did the thing

#this took me a while trying to DECIDE #oc: iraestra #oc: balam #ot3: he is the tender butcher who showed me the price of flesh is love #and a few of these have weird explanations behind them but balam is horniest most violent sluttiest wants to see insides be their outsides #irae more wants to see their insides to study and put in a little jar on her shelf #but like gort views himself as acting for the good of the gate and the sword coast hence the slightly more selfless leaning here bc this is #about how they view themselves #though in that case irae would probably view herself as very selfless bc she is doing this for her family and revenge in their name #the most baseline explanation of this is that irae is a mykrulite under ketheric but thinks that he is becoming old and ineffectual #and losing himself in his grief and beginning to doubt that he can uphold his end of the dead three pact and there's plans to replace him #and orin finds out about it when she tadpoles balam and iraeis tadpoled as well or somethng. might change that storyline around a little bu #considering irae having a group of myrkulite cultists who answer specifically to her and pay lip service to ketheric or idk sometttthingg #throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks #didn't feel assed trying to draw balam or gort so you get these #also yes that's a leapord gecko not a salamander but we'll ignore that #also unsure how i feel about gort age but i just threw something in there #half the time spent on this was just editing it for 3 people #lamia muses