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munson-blurbs · 1 year

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Single Dad!Eddie x Fem!ReaderSeries

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Summary: Eddie's guard is back up after overhearing people gossiping about a secret that only you would know about. When he lets his animosity take over, the damage may be too great to repair.

Warnings: angst, Eddie is really mean to Reader, mentions of CPS, Reader's grandma has Alzheimer's, slowburn, strangers to enemies to lovers, angst, Eddie is 30, Reader is 28, no use of y/n

WC: 3.7k

Chapter 4/20

Scruffy!Eddie edit credit to @eddiemunsons-missingnipple Divider credit to @saradika

Eddie is still fuming when he pulls into the music store’s parking lot. He’s opening today, and his hands tremble as he fumbles with the keys. All of those parents are going to know that he’s a failure of a father. The Munson reputation clung to him like a bloodsucking leech, regardless of his numerous attempts to shed it. He’s destined to be an outcast at best and a monster at worst.

Finally managing to unlock the door, Eddie flicks on the lights, blanketing the shop in a hazy glow. The silence is deafening, and he swears that his brain will implode if he doesn’t get some background noise. He walks to the section labeled ‘METAL’ as if on autopilot, grabbing Metallica’s Master of Puppets and shoving the cassette into the player. Ash insists that they play classic rock over the crummy little sound system; something about it being ‘palatable’ for the customers, but she’s not here to scold him.

He thinks back to when this album was released, towards the end of his third senior year. The good ol’ days, when I only worried about passing O’Donnell’s class and planning Hellfire campaigns, he thinks wryly. But, no; that isn’t quite true. He’d had to worry about the trailer getting repo’d, or whether he and Wayne could stretch their food stamp budget enough to feed two grown men. Concerns that his uncle had tried to hide from him until he no longer could.

“Ed, you’re eighteen now,” Wayne had said, just one month after Eddie’s birthday, “and I’m gonna need you to start payin’ some bills around here.”

At the time, Eddie thought he was just being a bastard. It wasn’t until a few days later when he’d spotted the envelope marked PAST DUE in bold, red letters that he realized it wasn’t a punishment, but a necessity.

He’d been selling for Rick ever since. Well, until now.

“Battery” fades out to “Master of Puppets,” and Eddie flips the CLOSED sign to read OPEN. He glances at the calluses on his hands and smiles sadly, thinking of all the hours he spent learning the chords in his room. After weeks of non-stop practicing—Hetfield’s solo was a bitch—he’d raced down to Gareth’s garage and played all eight minutes straight through. Watched as his friends’ jaws dropped in awe. Gave him a standing ovation. Told him he was a fucking rockstar.

“You’re a rockstar, all right,” Eddie sarcastically grumbles now, clanging a roll of pennies against the counter before dumping them into the till. “Getting ready to drop your new hit single: Do you want a receipt with that?”

His morning has been nothing short of monotonous: help the customer find what they want, ring them up and make small talk, and then organize (or, in his case, pretend to organize) the store when it’s not busy.

There’s too much down time for him to be left alone with his thoughts. As soon as he has a moment to himself, he’s ruminating on his regrets of the past. He turns up the music volume in a half-hearted attempt to drown them out, but they manage to worm their way into every nook and cranny of his brain.

Eight years ago, a twenty-two year old Eddie Munson left his podunk town of Hawkins, Indiana to pursue rock stardom. He’d driven to Chicago with only the pocket change he’d saved up and his guitar on his back. A big city for a man with even bigger dreams.

It didn’t take him long to realize that being Eddie Munson meant next to nothing in a place that was bursting with musicians desperate for the chance to become famous. He appreciated the anonymity at first; he could blend in without being chased by taunts of Freak or Loser. But after nearly a full year of auditions where he was just another guitarist who could carry a tune, he’d started to lose hope. Prepared to return to Hawkins with his tail between his legs, he’d stopped at the nearby bar for one last drink.

“We can’t go on without a lead singer and guitarist!”

A frantic voice captured his attention, drawing his gaze from the pint of beer in front of him.

“Well, Sam bailed. Again,” another man points out, tone heavy with irritation. “So either we go on without him, or we don’t go on at all.”

Eddie finds himself standing up and walking into a conversation where he was never invited. “I, um, play guitar. And sing?” He winces as it comes out like a question. “I can show you, if you want.” What was he doing? He couldn’t line up a gig to save his life, and now he’s offering to play for some band he doesn’t even know?

The two guys, both about his age, exchange a dubious look. “All right,” says one with shaggy dark hair. “Let’s hear what you got, Guitar Boy.” He hands him his own guitar, and Eddie adjusts the strap before diving headfirst into the chorus of the first song that comes to mind:

If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by You're thinkin' like a fool 'cause it's a case of do or die Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had You think I'll let it go you're mad You've got another thing comin'

The other guy cocks his head, a delighted smirk spreading across his face. “Judas Priest. Solid choice.” He paces a bit, twirling a drumstick between his fingers. You got a name, Guitar Boy?” he asks.

Eddie nods. “Eddie Munson.” He sticks out his hand, silently willing it to stop trembling, and shakes theirs.

“I’m Marcus,” the shaggy-haired man says. “This is Bryan. I play backup guitar; he’s on drums. Our bassist should be here soon; his name’s Pete.”

“And Sam was our lead guitarist and singer, but he’s a fucking asshole,” Bryan quips, and Eddie chortles at his brazen attitude. “Anyway, we mostly do covers…check out the setlist and see what you know.” He hands Eddie a crumpled piece of paper, filled with familiar songs and artists.

“I can do any of these,” Eddie says, a satisfied warmth filling his chest as he watches the guys grin even wider.

“Tell ya what,” Bryan says, plopping behind a drum set plastered with a logo reading Hard Knox. “If you don’t suck tonight, you can play with us permanently.”

“Yeah,” Marcus agrees. “We’re gonna be big, man. We just need someone to help us get there.”

“Let me run back to my place and grab my ax,” Eddie tells them, adrenaline propelling him to his apartment. This was it. This was the break he needed. Just as he was about to give up, God or fate or destiny or whoever was finally giving him a chance to prove himself.

The show went off without a hitch; Eddie’s guitar skills bringing a normally quiet audience to their feet. Bryan clapped him on the back as he looked at Pete and Marcus; the three nodding at each other. “Welcome to Hard Knox!” he announced.

“Sam leaving was the best thing to happen to us,” Pete laughs in agreement. A bartender in a tight skirt and fishnet stockings brings over a round of shots, and the four men clink glasses.

“Fuck Sam!” Eddie shouts before taking the drink. The tequila burns as it coats his throat, but he doesn’t dare reach for the lime. No, he has something to prove.

“Fuck Sam!” the rest of the band echoes enthusiastically. Their choral response reminds Eddie of the way Corroded Coffin used to be before he’d left: when he’d say something, Jeff, Gareth, and Danny would listen. He was born to be a leader.

Things started to fall into place. His one night endeavor with Hard Knox turned into a biweekly gig at the bar, which eventually turned into shows almost every night at various venues across the city. He’d even convinced the guys to play some original work of his, reminding them that cover bands don’t get record deals.

He had a steady income. A group of friends who appreciated him and his music. Beautiful women who eagerly threw themselves at him at the end of the show. And then it would repeat the following night in a new place. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

Last night’s chaos has you all disheveled; it wasn’t until you got to work this morning that you realized you hadn’t even packed your lunch. You try to convince yourself that you can wait until you get home to eat, but about fifteen minutes before your break, your stomach lets out an embarrassingly loud growl.

“I’m gonna run to the deli and grab something,” you tell Will, throwing your jacket over your shoulders and digging out your car keys. “Want me to pick up anything for you?”

“Uh, Tylenol?” he grimaces, rubbing his temples. The kids had music class today, and the sounds of ten preschoolers singing off-key combined with their clashing tambourines served as a recipe for a pounding headache. “And maybe a bag of sour cream and onion chips?”

“You got it.” You shoot him a thumbs-up as you make your way to the parking lot as quickly as possible, determined to get your food before the lunch rush starts.

You manage to just beat out the crowd of hungry nine-to-fivers, grabbing a veggie wrap to-go. Crunching on a cucumber slice as you take a big bite, you start back towards your car, but the music store next door catches your eye.

A check of your watch confirms that you have a few minutes to peruse, maybe grab a copy of the new Toni Braxton cassette you’d been wanting. If there was ever a day to treat yourself to a little gift, it’s today. Your mind is foggy and your body feels like it’s dragging sandbags as you make your way over. You knew that taking care of an ailing relative would be physically demanding, but you weren’t prepared for the emotional toll it would take. Seeing your grandma helplessly laying on the bathroom floor scared drew all of the oxygen from your lungs, filling your body with worry. And just a few hours later, she was furiously swearing at you, claiming to hate you. She’s an ever-swinging pendulum, and you’re downright exhausted.

A small glob of hummus lands on your lower lip, and your tongue licks it off haphazardly as you push open the door to the music store. The jingle of the bell is meant to alert the employees that a customer has entered, but when you look around, there’s no one there to help you.

You walk towards the aisle labeled R&B, starting by thumbing through the “B” section–nothing. Perplexed, you make your way to the “T” section, still with no luck. Was Toni Braxton so popular amongst Hawkins residents that they’d bought out every copy of Secrets?

“You can’t eat in here,” a terse voice calls out. You’re so startled, you nearly drop your sandwich. A piece of tomato flies out of the tortilla when you jump, hitting the linoleum flooring, and the irritated person sighs. “Aaand this is why.”

You pick up the fallen vegetable and turn around to see Eddie Munson standing before you. “You scared me!” you say, but your body visibly relaxes. Twenty-four hours ago, you never would have guessed that he would have a calming effect on you. How quickly things can change, you muse silently. “Can you help me find the new Toni Braxton? The Secrets cassette?”

Eddie scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “Can you follow simple instructions? No. Eating. In. The. Store.” He rolls his eyes. “Just because you teach preschoolers doesn’t mean you get to act like one.”

The smile that briefly danced across your lips slips into a frown. What the hell happened in the few hours since he’d dropped Harris off at school? Did you imagine that you two had gotten along?

“Are you okay?” you ask, brows furrowed in confusion. “I-I can put the wrap in my car, just give me a sec…”

He shakes his head. “No, actually, I’m not okay,” he sneers. “But I bet you knew that already.” He shifts his posture so he’s standing a bit taller. “Y’know, you have some fuckin’ nerve, coming in here after what you did.”

“Did I miss something?” Your voice gets smaller with the gnawing feeling of brewing confrontation acting as a brick on your chest. “I thought–”

“Tell me what you thought,” he interrupts, leaning on a box of tapes. “Wait, no; let me guess. You thought that because I rejected you, you could go around blabbing my personal business around the school.” He scrunches up his face, biting his lip as he looks at you. “Did I get it right?”

“Your personal business?”

“Mhm,” he answers pointedly, spinning a skull ring around his finger. “Is that not it? Was it because you were embarrassed that I heard your grandma say that she hates you? I don’t blame her, by the way.”

Your force your gaze to remain trained on him, staring into his brown eyes that have hardened with fury. “She doesn’t hate me,” you breathe out, “she just can’t remember me anymore. When she knew who I was, she loved me. A lot.”

“Yeah, whatever you say,” Eddie rolls his eyes. “That doesn’t take away from the fact that everyone and their goddamn dog knows about the CPS report.”

“What CPS report?” you ask, a sinking feeling settling in your stomach. “Is Harris okay?”

He takes one look at your puzzled expression and barks out a harsh, incredulous laugh. “Seriously? You can drop the innocent act.”

“I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about!” you snap, frustrated at his unwillingness to hear you out and your own lack of understanding. “All I know is that this morning, you didn’t hate me–or maybe just hated me a little less–and now you’re back to being the worst human being I’ve ever met.”

Eddie scratches at the shadow of a beard that’s formed on his jawline; an itchy reminder that he didn’t get to shave last night. “You should consider yourself lucky if I’m the worst person you’ve ever met. Tell me, what have I done? Thrown some insults your way?” He claps his palm to his chest exaggeratedly. “How ever did you survive?”

“Mock me and my teaching skills, pretend like you’re going to call when you knew damn well that you weren’t, call me a bitch, and your latest and greatest,” you counter, ticking off the instances on your fingers, “accuse me of something I didn’t do.”

He considers this for a moment, taking a deep breath before speaking again. “So you’re trying to tell me,” he starts, gritting his teeth, “that we were in the same wing of the same hospital at the same time, but you weren’t the one who told people about the CPS case they opened on me?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” you hiss.

“Then how the fuck did Carol Perkins find out about it?!” His volume raises to a roar, and you wince at the sting it leaves echoing in your eardrums. “Because I fucking heard her talking about it with Steve Harrington! So if you, the person who was there, didn’t open your mouth and tell her, who did? The CPS fairy?”

“I don’t fucking know!” you shout, swallowing thickly in a meager attempt to bide time before the tears inevitably leak from your eyes. “I don’t know, but it wasn’t me.”

Eddie rakes a hand through his frizzy curls, smacking the other on top of the nearby box. “Just…just get out,” he mutters. “I can’t listen to any more of your bullshit.” He starts back towards a door marked EMPLOYEES ONLY before turning back around, eyes narrowed.

“Y’know, I wouldn’t have hooked up with you that night if I knew that this is how you handle a one-night stand,” he says, pursing his lips as he steps closer to you. “And I never should’ve let Harris step foot in your classroom. I would drive him to a school in goddamn Timbuktu if it meant having you out of my life.” He pauses, scraping his teeth across his lower lip and exhaling a terse laugh. “It’s too bad I can’t forget about you like your grandma did.”

The words knock the wind out of your lungs. Your knees buckle slightly, and you have to steady yourself on the closest shelf. Tears blur your vision as your legs carry you out of the store; you feel yourself walking, but it’s like an external force has control of your body. The words fuck you sit on the tip of your tongue, or maybe you say them—it’s too hazy to tell. The world is covered in a shiny layer of cellophane; you can see everything, but you can’t touch.

You’re crying too hard to drive, so you sit behind the wheel, seatbelt clicked in place, letting out sobs that leave your whole body shuddering. It’s all too much, and though you logically know that Grandma didn’t want to forget you, his comment hit a raw nerve.

It wasn’t a straight path; Alzheimer’s never is. A few months ago, she could remember you in the morning but forgot you by the afternoon. She would call you by name at 9 AM but ask who you were at 2 PM. One day you were her granddaughter; the next, you were a total stranger. You thought it couldn’t hurt more than it already did, but the repeated reminders that she no longer recognizes you at all is a constant knife through the heart.

You’ll be late if you don’t start driving back to work now, so you turn the key in the ignition and adjust the gear shift to reverse. As you look up to glance in the rearview mirror, you catch sight of him. He’s dumbfounded, and you could laugh at how ridiculous it is that it took him seeing you bawling in your car to realize that he went too far this time.

Unable to stomach the thought of further confrontation, you take a deep breath and drive away, leaving him to mull over what just happened.

He’d assumed you’d left already when he’d walked outside for a smoke break, placing a cigarette between trembling fingers before he’d even left the store. He almost drops the lighter on his scuffed sneaker when he sees you hunched over, resting your arms on the wheel as your body heaves. He’s not sure how long he’s been staring when you lift your head, exposing tear-streaked cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. Your gazes lock for just a millisecond, but it tells him everything he needs to know.

It wasn’t you.

When Eddie arrives at the school for pick-up, he scours the crowd of impatient parents for Carol. He finds her talking with another mom; no doubt spreading more gossip about him. Maybe he shouldn’t have pretended that their Satanic cult rumors didn’t bother him when they were back in high school. Maybe if they knew, they would understand that he’s just a goddamn person trying his best, just like everyone else.

“Hey,” he starts, pushing the fear from his voice and willing his strength to remain unwavering. “Who told you about the CPS stuff?”

Carol plasters an obviously fake smile on her face as she responds. “I don’t know what you mean,” she says simply. Her carefree tone pushes Eddie to his limit.

“Cut the bullshit,” Eddie growls, quickly losing his temper. “I heard you talking to Steve Harrington about it. So either you tell me now, or I’ll make sure your husband knows about that guy I saw you with at the Hideout a couple of months ago.”

Her face blanches, color draining from her cheeks. “It was Jason Carver,” she mumbles, biting her thumbnail. “His wife, Chrissy, is a nurse at the hospital and saw the report. She told him, and he’s been telling, well, everyone else.”

Eddie swears that steam is billowing out of his ears. Everything is coated in a red haze, and he finds himself unconsciously clenching and unclenching his fists. “Where is that sonofabitch? I’m gonna punch him in his smug little–”

“Mr. Munson?” you cut through his rant. His head snaps in your direction. You’ve fixed your makeup; if Eddie hadn’t seen you crying earlier, he would’ve been none the wiser. “Can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Y-Yeah,” he stammers, shifting his weight to the balls of his feet. “Actually, I needed to tell you someth–”

“I think you’ve said enough today,” you say, voice calm but firm. “I just wanted to give this to you before Harris comes out.” You hand him a pink piece of paper. “It’s a transfer slip. Starting next week, Harris will be in Ms. Marion’s class. I didn’t tell him anything about it, so you can say whatever you want. I don’t care anymore.” That’s not quite true; the idea of Eddie feeding Harris lies about you makes your stomach curdle, but there’s only so much you can control.

Eddie’s, usually quick with a retort, is uncharacteristically quiet. “I, um, I thought…the secretary told me that all of the classes were full.” It’s a cop-out, but he can’t push himself to tell you what he knows now. Not when you’re already bruised.

“They made an exception because I was the one who requested it this time,” you explain, clenching your jaw. “Looks like you got your wish. You can forget about me now.”

He takes the paper and shoves it in his back pocket. The confession is on the tip of his tongue, an apology not far behind. Say it, he berates himself. Just fucking say it. You might be able to fix this if you just—

“I’ll go get Harris,” you tell him, breaking into his thoughts. “Good-bye, Mr. Munson.”

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k4katsujin · 11 months

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falling asleep with hobie brown! (sfw)

huge thanks to @michelleart8 for helping me choose

huuhhh title pretty self explanatory lmao

idk if i'll make this with other characters but like

yea :3

(half fully written fic half headcanons ?) (yknow what i'll do both)

bit of hurt comfort towards the hug scene? idk

also reader and hobie are in an implied established relationship

(word count: 250/300)

it was one of the many nights you spent waiting for hobie to come back home. with the two of you being spider people, you had a very few moments together.

but it didn't stop you from being in love.

coming home later than your boyfriend, or at least you thought you did, you took endless precautions to not make any noise. (which tbh doesn't make any sense tbh let's js say you're a quiet person)

just in case, you know, he did come home earlier than you...

the first thing that hit you as soon as you entered your appartment was that the window - which you often left open when you sleep so that your boyfriend could sneak in without waking you up - was closed.

you didn't pay it no mind as you thought it was the wind.

you headed to the bathroom to get into your pyjamas, where actually were one of hobie's old t'-shirts- which smell reminds you of home.

you then go to the kitchen to get a midnight snack, your all time favorite.

as you turned around, you notice the presence of your boyfriend.

"hobie? is something wrong?" you ask as you run to hug him.

he gave in the hug, shoving his head into your shoulder.

"so... tired... " he mutters, "glad i'm home..."

it was no surprise: the pressure of being a spider-person was extremely high. even though hobie tried his best to hide it, but even he needed to let it out sometimes.

(time for hcs bc idk how to truly describe the scene + it'll be easier)

i feel like he takes all the room there is on the bed like he'd be in some starfish position

somehow you're always touching him whether he's the big spoon or with your head on his chest or his arm around your shoulders

if you're scared of storms he would hug you close and confort you

"it's ok honey, it can't hurt you as long as i'm with you"

he plays with your hair when he can't fall asleep and wonders how non black people's hair work

if you're black/ a person of color he'd go like "ooo their hair is so cool :0

he secretely likes being the little spoon but he never asks for it

"ya can't sleep huh? want me to sing a sothing melody for ya?" (don't judge i have no idea how british people talk)

he always asks you if he can move if you're laying on him - if you're asleep he just doesn't

I KNOW HE WOULD CONFORT YOU IF YOU HAD A NIGHTMARE

"y'had a bad dream ? c'mhere i'll comfort you"

he braids your hair when he can't fall asleep

idk i feel like he only feels at peace in smalls moments like this when he's with you

also when the two of you can't sleep he plays you songs on his accoustic guitar (idk i feel like he's been given one when he was a kid and that's how he started learning)

maybe holding hands under the blankets? also you conforting him after a very tiring day he'd have his head on your lap and he'd fall asleep like that

he probably pushed you out of the bed more than once

"what the fuck are you doing on the floor??" but then he'd know it's his fault and js laugh about it

that's all i got for now i think i'm v tired atm i'll probably edit this later or do a part tO but like xdd hope you enjoyed ;3

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ace-of-gay · 11 months

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I currently dont have a masterlist set up for this collection but i hope you enjoy this none the less, this will eventually be posted on ao3 but i dont have an account currently

Not betad or edited

Warnings: age regression, self neglect (not eating, not sleeping, etc.) slight panicked reader but not nearly enough to be a full warning, reader is a half ghoul half human cause this is my interpretation of a fantasy universe <3, cuddles!!!

age regression is a coping that can both voluntary and/or involuntary it is entirely safe and reccomended by therapists if they believe it would be effective for said person but as mentioned for some people it is entirely unpredictable, if this makes you uncomfortable please carry on thank you <3

This was originally written for my best friend so keep in mind this is our dream and thoughts and may not fit well into the ghost universe

Word count: 2,025 words

Nameless ghouls and papa copia taking care of half ghoul reader

Having spent a restless night wasnt uncommon for your or any of the ghouls, especially when seasons and elements were changing, you spent a good few weeks of the tour in your element but the farther and farther you traveled to bring enlightenment to others around the world the more the weather seemed to shift, this most recent nights travel not only took you to a new scene and new spirit of buzzing thrill but a stiffened weight of being completely out of your element, while yes it effects all ghouls it affected you far different.

Being part ghoul meant you weren't as aware of your instincts so feeling them shift always left you in a silent suffocating shock.

With so much bustle amongst the ghouls, papa having a chipper edge to his seemingly endless worries it kept the team heightened and moving, preparing and running through the setlist, this will be the biggest show yet in a city youre entirely new to.

You hid the encroaching feeling well, never once had any of the ghouls questions any difference to your demeanor; having one responsibility after another kept you busy all day nevery staying in one area for long, earbuds in and mask upon your dome, it was same as others methods of preparing just more secluded and in your zone, if there were any changes in anything at all papa, the ghouls and ghoulettes knew that they could calmly inturupt you in your flow.

Listening to every part of the setlist through the literal audio versions of it, everything on the outside seemed normal to everyone but the electric vibrations in your joints and dull ache in your head told you plenty, to the others you were staying silent to save your voice for later so to speak but to you the weight of speaking was way heavier than your desire to ask for help or for rest.

With the show quickly approaching and you having forgotten to eat you downed not one but two energy drinks, spiking youre adrenaline temporarily in hopes itd get you through the show.

All you had to do was get through the night off of artificial energy and true passion for others joy. Just like the full ghouls you spent your time during the show in your human form but unlike them you had a harder time forcing it to stay when you were exhausted.

Papa copia unbeknownst to you had his eye on you, hes the only one who saw you this morning, the deep bags under your eyes and your ghoulish grey having a pale green seemingly sickly color easily masked by your helmet, if all went well youd rest for extra tonight but he didn't see that being the only end to the night.

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

You were a fan favorite, when you weren't singing backup vocals you were running around stage with your hagstorm base shredding in duos with swiss, bursts of fire being shot upwards, the only time you stay away from the edge of the stage, the light from the fire glinting against the slightly matte chrome picguard, just enough to catch you right in the eye blurring your vision with a blinding flash.

to the congregation watching below your jolts you send into moving your bass guitar looked like flare but for you it was sheer panic, the blinding flash was just enough to put you on the edge of tipping into a deeply unwanted headspace at the moment.

prancing over to where mountain is perched at his drums you take yourself out of the limelight and hide yourself in the downcast shadows from his drums, with the last three chords being extended for showmanship you give a desperate glance to papa with hope that he'll see your glance, and such he does.

You station yourself once more at your mic, you stum the starting chords and belt out backup vocals for the final song, your throat aches as your human form is slipping, your eyes having small flickers of change and a small stumble thankfully met with a stomp on the down beat.

papa makes his way your direction ending the set list with 'Darkness at the heart of my love', when it gets to the part without vocals he does hand flourishes while you play your bass passing by with his mic down "tieni duro piccolo", walking his way around the stage to stand center and finish up the song.

In a blurr of time everything felt like it was on sparks of muscle memory and you were at the front with all other ghouls taking a well deserved bow with a standing ovation for each and every single one of you.

Papa copia was the first to lead off stage letting the ghouls throw picks and a few drumsticks from mountain and what not, you didn't stay long to see everything but you did notice people throwing things onstage as gifts; off stage setting down your bass in a stand you stumble into papas open arms.

Your forehead lay gently atop his chest still in your helmet your horns sit near his collar bone shaking yohr head, "i cant papa, i cant" not entirely sure yourself what you meant he hummed in understanding and hushed you, gently rubbing your back and swaying side to side, "stai bene piccolo ghoul, you can rest now. Ive got you, matter of factly weve got you"

Finally relaxing enough to let your ghoul form fall free, your tail limp all of you is exhausted and you feel so small but people always said it was weird and not good, they never listened to you when you said it was involuntary or a coping mechanism it was just permanently bad.

"Oh piccolo, shh your thoughts are so very loud my dear, it is okay to be small, the ministry welcomes all with coping, we will care of you"

He holds you closer and tighter humming a tune, and just like that your walls had fallen, there was no more fighting it, big doe ghoulish eyes staring up at him, complete silence from you.

At this point the others had made their way backstage, dew came walking over to take over while papa helped collect all the instruments. "Dew, could you please take them to the bus? We will get everything "

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》in the bus now and changed in comfortable clothes dew led you to the ghoul pile nest, when you refused to sit down he stepped aside watching as you grab your comfort item from your personal bunk and made your way back to the nest laying in the center, followed by him curling himself around you.

The ghouls only ever took their helmets off when in a homely environment so dew having his helmet off was his symbol of saying you are safe.

Once everyone had finished packing up and putting stuff away they had all filed in slowly

Cumulus being the first to stop by you and dew at the nest, holding out a plush ghoul for you that she had picked up from the items thrown on stage, papa copia was next to stop by sitting with you and dew, you hadnt noticed until now that he was asleep holding onto you until mountain joined pulling him off of you so you could lean into papa as he held one of your comfort snacks and a juice, both already having been opened by him, he held you as you snacked.

Once you had finished he got up going to the front to drive the bus.

You were once more pulled into the cuddle pile by dewdrop his eyes open long enough to make sure all of your comfort items were tucked against your chest, between you both, "sleep little one, a tiny ghoul needs plenty of rest" soon joined by the rest you had finally fallen asleep, the ghouls were your element aswell. When finally at the hotel for the evening you were carefully awoken by papa, all the ghouls except dew had gotten up, but even he was awake, but he stayed to keep you warm, "it is time to go in, we are buddy system tonight, four ghouls in a room, each room has two king sized beds so its plentyful room"

You finally let go of dew and stretch, getting up to get ready you realize your overnight bag has already been packed and one of the taller ghouls hoodies layed out next to it, you could hear the ruckus at the front of the bus of all the other ghouls ready to bunk up in the hotel.

You slip on the hoodie which you now know belongs to swiss, his smell encapsulating your mind.

Papa comes up behind you placing a hand on your back "piccolo the ghouls have decided you can pick who youre bunking with, they want to be sure youre okay when tiny, loro ti amano"

You make your way to the front of the bus where you find the ghouls with their charm up. looking to papa followed by you tapping swiss, rain and mountain on the heads, the three stand up, mountain takes your bag and rain scurrys away and back with your mask in hand "are you able to use charm right now or is the mask a better option?" He questions

Taking a moment to test how well the charm feels, you point at the mask. Nodding he gently places it atop your head, he places his hand under your chin causing you to look up so he can buckle it up and tan pats you atop your head, swiss gently pulls the back of the hoodie at the bottom away from your back "curl your tail tiny" tucking it under the hoodie

Once in the room mountain sets down the bags he was carrying and helped take the mask off of your noggin, ruffling your hair causing you to chirp in response, rain and swiss hop on the bed closest to the door leaving the one near the window "copia is ordering food for everyone, hes getting youre favorite for you" mountain chimes, grabbing to tv channel guide and flipping through it.

"Movie?" You mumble causing all three of them to look over, normally youre completely silent when youre small, "you wanna watch a movie?" He questions flicking on the tv and sitting on the bed, he turns on Wall-E for you.

Sometime a few minutes later he feels you shuffle closer on the bed cuddling into his side with your comfort item in hand.

After dinner was delivered and eaten and the movie was over you had tucked yourself on your side of the bed you shared with mountain, rains lamp still on so he could read while swiss was practically cuddled ontop of him, every time you would shift or turn in bed they could hear it, causing them to watch you carefully when youd move or grumble is dissatisfaction.

there was just no way to get comfortable, this wasnt home or the bus, you werent wrapped in your family, you huff out rolling over to look at mountain, to your suprise he was looking right at you quizically.

You quickly curl into his side before he got the chance to say anything, "o parum ghoul, mi amor, papa is right, your thoughts really are so very loud" swiss sighs, pulling himself out of his bed followed by rain who lay on your open side and swiss next to mountain, it may not be a perfect ghoul pile but its better than before, rolling over when rain pulls out his book to read aloud, your head on his chest.

listen to the thrum and Rumble deep in his chest, your eyes fall closed but not before you wrap your tail around swiss' wrist where it resides clutched around mountain, your mind will feel fresh and lively tomorrow filed with the itmost of energy, especially after an evening full of cuddles and littlespace, rain places a gentle kiss atop your head and just like that you are asleep.

#nameless ghouls x reader #nameless ghouls x little reader #cardinal copia x little reader #cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia x female reader #cardinal copia x male reader #nameless ghouls x gn reader #agere reader #swiss x reader #mountain x reader #rain x reader

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leighsartworks216 · 6 months

Text

Nuptial Bed

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Fem version - Masc version

If I messed up pronouns/genitalia descriptions, please let me know so I can edit it as quickly as possible <333

SMUT BELOW THE CUT

Warnings: swearing, explicit smut, blood, blood drinking

Word Count: 1,496

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

The door is kicked open with a loud slam, but the two souls stumbling inside don’t show an ounce of care. Another kick closes the door just as loudly.

Hands roam feverishly under shirts and into pants, tugging and grabbing at any fabric they can get their hands on to rip it off. All the while, the people stumble back toward the bed in the center of the room, a nuptial bed awaiting them to consummate the vows they made mere hours earlier.

Astarion’s fingers frantically undid buttons and ties with less precision than he normally would. But who could blame him? You didn’t care either way as you tugged his shirt from his pants and tried to clumsily pull it over his head. You laughed into the brutal kiss at the sloppiness; you were like two eager teenagers who had no real sense of what they were doing.

A trail of clothes were abandoned on the floor. Bare to each other, you climbed back onto the bed, tugging him with you by his hair. He groaned into your mouth as he crawled over you, arms caging you in and legs straddling you. The warm scent of his perfume surrounded you - bergamot, rosemary and bourbon, wafting off the sheets and clinging to his skin, mixed with the headier scent of arousal. It was intoxicating.

You pulled away from the searing kiss with a gasp. He didn’t need air, and you kept forgetting that you did. He seemed all too used to this by now, as he wasted no time trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses along your chin and down your neck. The dull flats of his teeth grazed, but never lingered. His fangs only teased your skin when he reached the junction of your shoulder.

“Gods,” you panted, “Star~ Need you, please.”

He chuckled breathlessly. “I don’t even get a moment to savor my spouse?”

You laugh, too, your heart skipping with delight in your chest. Your thumb absent-mindedly caresses the point of his ear. “No, your spouse demands to have you.”

He pulls away from your shoulder to press his forehead to yours. You lean into him immediately, staring at him through half-lidded eyes, pupils blown wide with desire. He grins, wide and genuine, in the orange-purple hues of sunrise filtering through the window. He’s so beautiful like this. “They already do,” he says. You smile and pull him in to kiss him once more.

Astarion hadn’t really thought about marriage. Any thoughts he did have of it told him he didn’t deserve it, as if he’d ever find a partner to spend a fragment of his long life with anyway. You weren’t sold on the idea either, to be honest. Why would you have to have a cleric certify your devotion to one another when you could do that just as well already?

And then Gale got married, and, well, Astarion suddenly saw the appeal.

It was messy trying to plan it all. Trying to plan a date where the weather would be nice and your old companions would be free from their new lives was like trying to squeeze an ogre through a keyhole, but, through sheer luck, you managed.

You spent months, between planning the ceremony and assuring Astarion that you did not need to go through this if he didn’t want to, on the hunt for a particular relic. Private correspondences with Gale finally paid off. And tonight, under the full moon, you bestowed it onto your lover: A ring that kept him from burning in the daylight.

The cold metal of the ring pressed against your cheek as he cupped your face, fingers curling into your hair to pull you impossibly closer. You pull away with a whine, lips continuing to brush together because he cannot bear the thought of moving any further right now. “Husband, please,” you beg. He sighs so adoringly at the title, sucking your lip in between his teeth. “Please, you have me.”

Supporting himself up on his knees, he runs a hand down your body to your sex. You’re already so ready for him. You’d been aroused for half the night, ever since your first dance together, when he pulled you closer by your waist.

You keen as he easily slips two fingers into you, curling once he is as deep as he can reach. He expertly works you open for him.

“Gods, you’re perfect, love.” He kisses you again, pressing his tongue into your mouth in time with a thrust of his fingers. Your hips buck into him automatically in a search for more.

You try to slip your hand between your bodies to grab hold of him, tug at his cock and stroke him as he takes care of you, but his hand falls immediately from your face to grab it. Instead, he interlocks your fingers and presses it down into the bed beside your head.

“Don’t worry, my dear partner. I’ll take care of you.” He slips his fingers from you and rubs his precum along his shaft. He has to stop himself from bucking into his hand just thinking about how it’s you that got him so turned on. He wastes little time lining himself up with your entrance; he knows he’s aligned from the sweet gasp it draws from you, swallowed up by his mouth. He begins an assault on your neck when he starts to slowly press in, eager to hear every sound you provide.

You certainly don’t disappoint. Moans and whimpers fall like prayers from your bruised lips as his cock easily glides deeper and deeper, until Astarion’s hips rest against yours. He moans shakily against your throat. He’s barely there for a few seconds before you roll your hips into his, sending lightning bolts of pleasure throughout his whole body. He draws himself out almost entirely and leisurely thrusts back in. He wishes he had half the mind to keep fucking you so slowly, so languidly. But you clench around him and he’s lost to you completely. He’s only got the sense left to build up the pace so he doesn’t hurt you, but then his hips are crashing against yours over and over again.

Your mouth is right by his ear as he draws beautiful music from your lips. Rasped swears and guttural moans mixed with light keens and whimpers. He provided a harmony against your skin; grunts and pants accentuating sighs and gasps of your name. You’re his spouse. His spouse. The thought makes his head spin.

You wrap your legs around him, ankles locked behind his back and a heel pressing into his ass, pulling him in further with each snap of his hips. You card your fingers through his hair so sweetly, being mindful the gold band on your finger doesn’t catch on any of his curls. Your interlaced hands hold each other so tightly, like you’d drift apart if you eased up even slightly.

You press chaste pecks along his ear, anywhere you can reach. “Bite me, my love. I’m all yours.”

The bite is never gentle - he’s convinced it never will be. But he does his best anyway, sucking and kissing and licking before he sinks his fangs into your neck. Your arousal floods your bloodstream with a cocktail of hormones, making you an even sweeter treat than usual. He can’t focus on the blood his tongue mindlessly laps up, not when he can feel your walls clenching around him. His hips move in desperation, faster and deeper and harder, until you’re orgasming around him and moaning his name into the room. He doesn’t last much longer. In just a couple more thrusts, his hips stutter and he presses as close as he can, burying himself as deep as possible as he cums inside you.

Your heartbeat fills his senses entirely, mixing with your breaths in a hypnotic dance. Lazily, he licks at the wound in your neck. He cleans up the new punctures, drinking the blood that oozes slowly from them until it clots, and then he cleans the surrounding skin. You taste so good. Absolutely delicious.

Once his tongue stops and he presses a light kiss to the bite, your hand in his hair slips to his cheek and pulls him to be face to face with you once more. You’re utterly blissed out. You’re gorgeous. “I love you, my dear husband.”

He kisses you tenderly. You can taste the coppery-iron tang that clings to his lips, but you don’t mind at all, not when he takes his time sharing his adoration. When he pulls away, he presses his forehead to yours and his nose against your cheek. “I love you, too, my darling spouse.”

The sun rises higher over Baldur’s Gate. Its warm rays flood the bedroom, painting you both in warm yellows and oranges. The sun rises over a new union, and he swears to make every second before it sets count, for as long as you live.

---

Tag List:

If you don't want to be tagged in smut, let me know and I can make note of it

@hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @kindadolly @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @olitheghostboy-blog @puppyg1rl666 @maruichio @cyber-dump-171 @katharynmarie @twinkliker3000 @cherifrog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @phantoms-fandom-blog @thespectacularspaceace @lynnlovesthestars @ashrio20 @bambamwolf87 @astarion-imagine-archive @thistrashisreadytobash @rosxtinted

#fanfic #fanfiction #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur's gate astarion #baldur's gate tav #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate tav #bg3 astarion #bg3 tav #gn reader #x gn reader #gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #smut

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inaconstantstateofchange · 4 months

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I come to you on my hands and knees (relevant to the topic right lol) begging for any and all info on Bane, Banites and how it all ties in with Gortash. I love you in advance. <3

Bane and His Cult

Alright, so after twelve and a half hours of research I still don’t fully feel like I have enough, but at a certain point I just need to get this out there, and if there is anything you – or anyone else – would like to see explored in more detail, please feel free to ask!

Note: I love getting asks like this! There is such a vast quantity of Realmslore that having some sort of specific focus for my deep-dives is a huge help, and knowing the topic is of interest to others is a huge motivator. I also greatly enjoy getting to put my training as a historian to work, as there is so much to interpret and archive alike.

As ever, these writeups will align with current 5e lore, and draw from 3.5e for additional supporting information. On rarer occasions – and always noted – I will reference 1e and 2e, but with the caveats that there is much more in those editions that is tonally dissonant with the modern conception of the Forgotten Realms, and thus generally less applicable.

We’ll begin with one of the most recent conclusive descriptions of Bane, from the 5e Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide, an overview of the current world-state of, well, the Sword Coast:

Bane has a simple ethos: the strong have not just the right but the duty to to rule over the weak. A tyrant who is able to seize power must do so, for not only does the tyrant benefit, but so do those under the tyrant’s rule. When a ruler succumbs to decadence, corruption, or decrepitude, a stronger and more suitable ruler will rise. Bane is vilified in many legends. Throughout history, those who favor him have committed dark deeds in his name, but most people don’t worship Bane out of malice. Bane represents ambition and control, and those who have the former but lack the latter pray to him to give them strength. It is said that Bane favors those who exhibit drive and courage, and that he aids those who seek to become conquerors, carving kingdoms from the wilderness, and bringing order to the lawless.¹

This gives us the briefest summation of what draws people to the Cult of Bane: the desire for power and control, often deriving from a sense that they lack exactly those two things. Bane is the quintessential deity of lawful evil, which – if you’ve read any of my previous posts on the sociology of the Nine Hells – bears a striking similarity to Baator itself, the realm of lawful evil, and the place where Enver Gortash spent at least a portion of his formative years.

The majority of the following excerpts derive from 3e, which went into far more detail on the specificities of the Faerûnian gods, including their dogmas, holy days, et cetera. One important point to note, however: any discussions of Bane’s scope of power are no longer accurate, as the time period in reference is about one hundred and twenty years before Baldur’s Gate 3 is set, at a time when Bane had just returned to life – and godhood – as nothing less than a greater god. By comparison, during Baldur’s Gate 3, he is a quasi-deity, having abandoned most of his previous godly power in exchange for the ability to directly meddle with Faerûn – forbidden to the gods by the overgod Ao – and gambling that he would be able to regain his lost power and prestige in so doing.²

The dogma of Bane – that is, the core tenets and philosophies that his followers seek to emulate – is as follows:

Serve no one but Bane. Fear him always and make others fear him even more than you do. The Black Hand always strikes down those that stand against it in the end. Defy Bane and die — or in death find loyalty to him, for he shall compel it. Submit to the word of Bane as uttered by his ranking clergy, since true power can only be gained through service to him. Spread the dark fear of Bane. It is the doom of those who do not follow him to let power slip through their hands. Those who cross the Black Hand meet their dooms earlier and more harshly than those who worship other deities.³

Even were there nothing else to go off of, this would tell us a great deal about the group dynamics of any followers of Bane, whether established church or fragmented cult. Just as in the Hells, hierarchy is everything to proponents of lawful evil. Any cult of Bane would have a strict order to its power structure, and there would be limited – practically nonexistent – tolerance for any questioning or insubordination of that order. To the minds of Banites, such is simply the natural and superior ordering of the world. These interactions are detailed below:

Within the church, the church hierarchy resolves internal disputes through cold and decisive thoughts, not rash and uncontrolled behavior. Bane’s clerics and worshipers try to assume positions of power in every realm so that they can turn the world over to Bane. They work subtly and patiently to divide the forces of their enemies and elevate themselves and the church’s allies over all others, although they do not fear swift and decisive violent action to help achieve their aims.³

The manner of tyranny that Bane holds to is similarly calculated – he is not interested in mere shows of force, but rather in insidious plots that twist and make use of existing rule of law to legitimize tyranny wherever possible. A social tide operated ostensibly within the laws of the land is far more troublesome to fight back against than a simple army.⁴

As far as specific ritual and day-to-day workings of the cult, some can be evidenced here, in broad strokes:

Bane’s clerics pray for spells at midnight. They have no calendar-based holidays, and rituals are held whenever a senior cleric declares it time. Rites of Bane consist of drumming, chanting, doomful singing, and the sacrifice of intelligent beings, who are humiliated, tortured, and made to show fear before their death by flogging, slashing, or crushing.³

In this sense, rituals seem most likely to be used as a display of power and a test of subservience, leaving lower-ranked members of the cult at the whims of their superiors, expected – as noted previously – to attend to their commands with the same alacrity they would use were Bane himself to speak. The rites themselves are designed to reinforce and glorify the primary aspects of their god’s domain: the tyranny of forcing submission and pain from the weak.

Faiths & Pantheons, published a year after the Campaign Setting supplement, provides a similar description of the rituals of the cult of Bane, along with some intriguing and flavorful additions (noted in bold for ease of comparison):

Their religion recognizes no official holidays, though servants give thanks to the Black Hand before and after major battles or before a particularly important act of subterfuge. Senior clerics often declare holy days at a moment's notice, usually claiming to act upon divine inspiration granted to them in dreams. Rites include drumming, chanting, and the sacrifice of intelligent beings, usually upon an altar of black basalt or obsidian.”⁴

As, in the “present day” of Baldur’s Gate 3, Bane has lost much of his foothold on power and his Faith’s old domains, the specifics of architecture of Banite keeps are no longer quite so relevant. However, in times past, when his Faith worked far more openly and held much greater power, the philosophy of Bane was expressed through the architecture of his churches and strongholds:

Tall, sharp-cornered stone structures featuring towers adorned with large spikes and thin windows, most Banite churches suggest the architecture of fortified keeps or small castles. Thin interior passageways lead from an austere foyer to barrackslike common chambers for the lay clergy, each sparsely decorated with tapestries depicting the symbols of Bane or inscribed with embroidered passages from important religious texts.⁴

The social capital of a Faith – a broad term used to encapsulate all followers of a single deity – is often heavily intertwined with the power of its god, a mutualistic relationship that runs in both directions. More social weight behind the Faith means its god’s name and will is conveyed to more people, some or many of whom might apportion some worship or act in alignment with that god and empower them by so doing. More power for the god means more divine actions that can bolster their own image and the reach of their clergy. At its height in the late 1300s, the Faith of Bane was one of the most prominent and powerful, with comparable might to that of a small kingdom.⁵

Something that is important to bear in mind in a setting such as the Forgotten Realms, not only polytheistic, but an environment where the gods being worshiped are demonstrably existent, is that the followers of evil gods are not likely to be obtrusive with the less savory aspects of their dogma. Not only would that, in the majority of cases, do more harm than good to their deity’s long term goals, in the words of Elminster:

A dead foe is just that: dead, and soon to be replaced by another. An influenced foe, on the other hand, is well on the way to becoming an ally, increasing the sway of the deity.⁶

All of this aligns with what we see of the Cult of Bane and its operation in Baldur’s Gate 3. While it does not have the same sway and might behind it as it did a hundred years before, through manipulation of law and carefully applied pressure – of whatever form most likely to yield the desired results, be it threats, bribery, blackmail, or use of hostages – Gortash has enacted a steel web of delicate, ensnaring tyranny across the entire city.

We can even find present-day expressions of the interactions of the cult members, and find that they hold true to what their forebears experienced, further proof of the consistency of lawful evil. A personal note found on the body of a dead Banite guard at the Steel Watch Foundry calls the Black Gauntlet in charge of the Foundry Lab, Hahns Rives, a “disgrace to the Tyrant Lord”, and notes the writer’s intent to “compile a list of Rives’ shortcomings for the Overseers.”⁷ These shortcomings include:

1. Rives failed to reprimand Polandulus for making jokes about Lord Gortash! 2. Rives missed the morning mass to Bane - twice! 3. Rives didn't punish Gondian Ofran when she missed her gyronetics quota merely because she'd lost a finger that day in the punch press.⁷

We can see evidenced here the constant scheming for position and recognition consistent with this manner of lawful evil hierarchy. Both devils and Banites orient their day-to-day lives around how to prove themselves to their superiors, while also undercutting them at any chance they have to prove their own superiority, with hopes of being raised above them.

This is only reinforced further by another text found within the Steel Watch Foundry, Bane’s Book of Admonitions. Its text is not written out for us, but described as such:

A book of adages and precepts for Banites, providing the basic tenets of worship of the Lord of Tyranny, with suggested prayers for common situations. The heart of the book is Bane's Twelve Admonitions, a dozen rules for proper Banite conduct, with punishments specified for failure to comply. The book opens easily to a page with two of Bane's most popular admonitions, number six, the Reprimand for Leniency, and number seven, the Rebuke for False Compassion.⁸

The most likely scenario is that this book was used by the “Overseers” referenced by the anonymous Banite writing of Rives above. The exact position of the Overseers is not made clear, but from context and knowledge of Banite hierarchy, we can infer that they inhabit a place in the hierarchy above both the guard and Rives himself, and that their role is to ensure all those below them uphold the tenets of Bane at all times, never losing sight of his will.

In that context, it makes sense that they would both have a book of specific punishments for specific infractions – rule of law, after all – and that, given the attempted report on Rives, punishments (“admonitions”) for the crimes of leniency and false compassion – and all compassion is false when your conception of the world does not allow for its existence – would be those most referenced. It would be incredibly important to the unity of the cult, as well as to Gortash’s plans, to harshly punish any observed leniency or break from Bane’s law among members of the cult.

Not only would failure to control the situation at the Foundry potentially spell failure for the schemes of Bane’s Chosen, any unpunished step out of line by members of the cult would be seen as tempting others to do the same, a trickle of dissent quickly becoming a flood. Better to ensure that all adherents live in merited fear of the consequence of failure.

After all, it is said of Bane himself: “He has no tolerance of failure and seldom thinks twice about submitting even a loyal servant to rigorous tortures to ensure complete obedience to his demanding, regimented doctrine.”⁴

And, in an appropriately lawful hierarchy, the same rule must apply from the bottom, to the top.

¹ Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide. 2014. p. 26.

² Descent into Avernus. 2019. p. 231

³ Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting 3E. 2001. pp. 237-8

⁴ Faiths & Pantheons. 2002. pp. 15-16.

⁵ Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting 3E. 2001. p. 93

⁶ Ed Greenwood Presents: Elminster’s Guide to the Forgotten Realms. 2012. pp. 135-6.

⁷ Rives’ Failures as a Banite. Baldur’s Gate 3. In-Game Text.

⁸ Bane’s Book of Admonitions. Baldur’s Gate 3. In-Game Text.

#voidling speaks #asked and answered #realmslore #meta #my meta #bg3 meta #bg3 #bg3 gortash #bg3 bane #enver gortash #bane #baldur's gate 3 #forgotten realms #cult of bane #d&d 5e #d&d 3.5

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onmyyan · 1 year

Text

Sharing is Caring (2/3)

A/N:OKAY BABES ITS HERE AHHHAGGH SO EXCITED THIS TOOK AGES BEC LIFE N SHIT BUT ANYWAY WHOOO SO EXCITED Anyway few things, this chapter gets kinda steamy but all the explicit smuts will be in part 3 its gonna be pure filth, after editing this mf came out to 28.3 pages and 10,275 words so I had to split it up, for those of you disappointed by the lack of horny never fear, the smut chapter is about 60% done and as soon as I post this I'm going back to working at it anyway please enjoy hope you like it!! feedback is welcome. Mi amada = My beloved

TW'S: YANDERE, KIDNAPPING, WEED MENTION, PAST MURDER MENTION

To say your day had been a bad one would have been putting it lightly.

It started out fine enough, you awoke to several of your usual good mornings, each Delmont had their own unique way of greeting you, and after taking the time to sleepily respond to each of them, you started your morning routine, fighting the urge to fall back into the warmth of your bed, your eyes struggled to remain open.

See you'd spent the better half of last night scrolling through your personal feeds, hours upon hours of cute couples blaring their love in your face, blatant affection everywhere you looked, shameless PDA, and grand romantic gestures.

The tooth-rotting fluff didn't usually bug you, but something about this particular onslaught of romance brought out this tidal wave of loneliness and envy.

It felt murky and heavy and you hated every second of it.

The five Delmont boys had grown into your found family, and usually, their antics didn't allow you the space to feel alone, but even that immense affection couldn't fill the hole that had steadily begun to grow in your chest.

Years upon years of no one showing genuine romantic interest in you had slowly but surely carved out a pit of self-loathing in your gut. Something you managed to hold off being consumed by until now.

Falling in love seemed like such an expected life event, from movies to songs and stories, people falling in love were everywhere you looked, and even though the little voice in your head tried to reassure you that you were just a late bloomer, the dark thoughts still haunted you well into the morning.

Brushing your teeth with a focused vigor, your mind began to reel as you stopped to really think about it all, the state of your love life or rather, lack thereof, how you've never been in a relationship, never been on a date, hell if it weren't for Marcos, you'd have to add never been kissed to the pitiful list, the older twin had been your first and only kiss when you were seventeen, but that was just him being a good friend in your time of need, of that you were certain.

You can remember it so clearly, sitting idly in your room, still living at the Delmont house, you'd been silently stewing in your sadness for a few hours by the time he found you.

What brought on this sour mood was a few offhanded jokes at your expense, you know those people you're only 'friends' with in class? Well, one of those girls, Lisa, had teased you relentlessly for the entire hour of biology when you'd accidentally let it slip you'd never kissed someone before.

And while she may have been joking, the words still left the strangest sting in your stomach, it made you feel weird, an odd cocktail of shame and embarrassment, and it wasn't as if you didn't want to kiss someone, you just didn't have many- scratch that, any options.

No one but the boys ever talked to you at school, for some strange reason, everyone else seemed to avoid you like the plague, cruel whispers of your name said behind even crueler stares, the twins usually swooped in before you could think to question the odd looks, but it was impossible not to notice.

Marcos found you curled into a fetal position on your bed, stuffed animals surrounding you in a protective barrier, he'd originally come upstairs with the intention of collecting you for dinner, there was this unspoken rule between the boys that whoever brought you down got to sit next to you at the table, but when he entered he could practically feel your sadness hanging in the air, his brows furrowed at the sight, instantly clocking your upset mood, he quickly switched gears, his face scrunching in visible concern.

One thing about Marcos was his inability to hide how he was feeling.

"What's wrong? What happened?" he toyed with the small silver ball in his ear, his nerves on edge at the sight of that look on your face, he hated seeing you upset, all the boys did, he didn't wait for an answer before rushing the rest of the way inside, kicking the door shut with his foot.

"No Co'- I'm fine, just tired." You used his nickname, trying in vain to put on a brave face but you knew in your heart of hearts that trying to lie to a Delmont was all but impossible. "Is dinner done? I hope she made adobo again god it's so good-" You tried to get up and walk downstairs but he stopped you with a gentle push of your shoulders, gently leading you back into a seated position, he gave a comforting squeeze before letting go, now standing before you with his hands on his hips, the image made you want to laugh, he looked a lot like his mother when she was about to scold him for something.

"Nah- we ain't leaving this room till you tell me what's up."

His insistence caused you to roll your pretty (e/c) eyes at the taller male, the way you crossed your arms, paired with that damn pout on your lipgloss-lined lips was a foul combo that had his heart skipping all kinds of beats. It took all his willpower not to squish your cheeks together.

"Why do you assume something's up?"

"Cuz' I know you dummy." He said so softly, it immediately disarmed you, his hand gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and you felt your chest tighten at the action.

"I swear I'm good okay? Can we just go eat? My stomach is touching my back." Usually, by this point, your puppy-dog eyes would make him fold, he was, and still is, rather weak to your whims, but he held strong.

Flopping beside you on the bed, he shuffled to lay on his right side, making sure to maintain eye contact, his hand began toying with one of his longer necklaces, his red eyes rolling as he spoke, "Mhm, right, okay. Quick question, how are you sitting there so calmly when your pants are clearly on fire?"

You gasped laughing slightly, "How dare you come into my domain and call me a liar? Have you no shame?" He smiled to himself knowing his plan to cheer you up was working, "C'moooon tell me whats wronggggg- I won't stop whining till ya fess up pleaseeeeeeee-" you threw a pillow at his head, "Okay! okay just shut up! Damn.."

You felt yourself hesitate, as if not speaking the words made them any less true.

"-Lisa kinda clowned me in class today cuz' I," the words turned to ash on your tongue, the embarrassment flushing your skin with an uncomfortable heat, to be admitting something so childish to someone as promiscuous as Marcos, felt all the more humiliating, and you didn't think you could handle him laughing at you.

"You can tell me anything Mi amada." You could hear the sincerity in the soft way he spoke, all playfulness gone.

How seriously he took your emotions managed to ease your fear of rejection enough to blurt out, "I haven't ever um- kissed anyone, and it made me feel, I dunno kinda bad I guess?" you laughed softly, that uncomfortable wave of shame echoing through your body, "She was just kiddin' around." You added that last bit knowing how overprotective he could get, god forbid he told Manny, you tried again to laugh it off, beginning to play with the ears of the blue stuffed bunny Gabe had given you years ago, the action was a wonderful alternative to holding Marcos's now burning stare.

He was quiet for a moment which was concerning since Marcos was never quiet. Suddenly sitting straight up, he ever so softly took the stuffed bunny from your hands to interlock your fingers. His intense, warm gaze held you frozen in place like a statue.

His tongue poked out to flick over his bottom lip, a nervous tick of his, and he swallowed before whispering,

"Kiss me then."

Marcos spoke it so softly, sounding so breathless. You laughed on instinct, thinking he was teasing, but when he remained silent, smiling at you like you held all the stars in the sky, you felt the heat crawl up your skin.

"Ha ha very amusing Co'-" you threw a pillow toward his chest with your free hand, "Cides' I don't want my first one to be some kinda' pity kiss from my best friend because he felt bad." Once more you played it off, trying desperately to ignore the funny feeling that had blossomed in your stomach, waiting for him to quit the game and stop the joke.

Only Marcos wasn't laughing.

"Who the fuck said anything about pity? You should know me well enough by now- I never say anything I don't mean." He leaned over, close enough where you could see the small constellation of freckles just under his eyes, you'd never noticed them before. He was far enough away not to pressure you, but the invitation was clear.

"But- we, um I-" Your mind was racing with hundreds of thoughts, and as if he sensed this, he let go of one hand to brush the hair from your face, his thumb lingering to swipe across your cheek in a feather-like touch, it felt like he had electricity in his fingertips, he stared into your eyes with an intensity you couldn't quite place.

"Don't think so hard." He smiled as he spoke, the words whispered against your lips, you were so close you could feel each of his shaky exhales, he looked back and forth from your eyes to your lips, waiting on bated breath for your response.

Allowing your eyes to flutter shut, you relaxed your posture and simply fell into the moment, now both of his hands were on your face, pulling you in that much deeper, his lips were soft and tasted faintly of cherry chapstick, one of his hands moved to cradle the back of your neck, holding you against him as he moved his mouth against yours in what felt like a well-practiced dance. His tongue swiped against your plush lips ever so slightly as you pulled away, skin flushed and hearts pounding.

He didn't allow the budding tension to take over, instead, he sat back with his familiar grin. "There, easy fix." he swiped at his lips with his thumb, sticking the appendage between his teeth in a daring display. The way you tasted, how perfect you felt in his arms, he could feel the addiction settling in, and happily surrendered himself to it.

He knew at that moment no one else would ever compare to you, to the way you made him feel. And despite how simple, the relatively innocent kiss you just shared was, it had him the hardest he'd ever been in his life, thankfully you seemed so flustered and dazed he was able to hide the tent in his pants with a well-placed pillow.

You'd both gone down to dinner after locking pinkies and swearing never to tell another soul, you assuming he simply didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea about you two, but really he was covering his ass, knowing if any of the others found out he'd gotten to be your first kiss, he wouldn't be walking for a while, Gabe had promised to break both ankles if he ever touched you, a threat he knew was no joke, but to Marcos, it was well worth the risk, he hated seeing you so upset about something he could very easily change, so he did, and he couldn't be happier.

The two of you had matching, knowing smiles on your faces that night, he even shot you a wink before bed, you couldn't get the giddy feeling to go away for weeks, even though you knew it was just him being a good friend, the warmth that had blossomed couldn't be undone.

These spiraling thoughts haunted you like a ghost, that is until you looked down at your coffee pot and remembered the cute guy who slipped you his number a few days ago. Normally you'd just let the small piece of paper go unused, too afraid to make a fool of yourself to actually reach out, but today was different.

Fueled by your melancholy thoughts, you quickly texted him before you could talk yourself out of it, and it seemed to be going well, the banter was flirty enough, if nothing else it would be fun to play dress up, so you began a feverish rush to get ready, and in that time, Manny had invited himself in while you rushed through a shower.

The redhead did this often, so you didn't blink when you heard him enter in his usual brand of loud. "Oh, honey I'm home!"

"In the shower!" You felt rude leaving him out there so you sped through the last of your routine and found him lying comfortably on your bed, face buried in his phone. He offered you a familiar, wolf-like grin before turning his attention back to the screen, you'd known him so long the action of dressing in front of him wasn't anything to bat an eye at, "Sorry- didn't know you were coming over or I woulda' showered sooner, you don't mind if I get ready right?"

"Mmhm" was his simple response so you continued with your routine, rambling nervously about your plans.

He appeared as chipper as usual, that is until you told him about your date, it was as if the energy in the room shifted into something- else.

He seemed to be in this state of disbelief, questioning how and when this happened, ignoring the sting in your chest at the thought of him not believing you, and all the ugly thoughts it brought up, you continued to browse through your wardrobe, hoping the search for a cute set of bottoms would help you push through your nerves about it all before you could ask why he found the concept so unbelievable, you'd heard his rushed goodbye, the slam of the door made you jump in place, nearly dropping the garment because that was weird as hell.

Manny always hugged you goodbye, so his running off made you pause, it was instinctual for you to comfort him when he got worked up in that way only Manny could, so you were just about to call him to double-check but were interrupted by your date's number popping up on the screen.

His name was Michael and he sounded so shy when he called to double confirm your attendance, you found his eagerness cute. you silently vowed to check in with your friend after the date and hyped yourself for the night to come.

As the evening began, you found yourself waiting idly by the table, he'd chosen a bit of an upscale bistro as your meeting spot so you felt the need to dress up a bit, a cute black turtleneck dress covered your body like a second skin, hugging your curves in all the right ways, the cashmere number was a gift from Gabe ages ago, and his flustered reaction to seeing you come out of that dressing room is what pushed you to bring it home, you knew your ass looked incredible in the outfit, paired with the knee length, black crushed-velvet boots, you felt hot as hell and were excited to see your date's reaction.

Only you never got the chance.

Thirty minutes go by with no sign of Michael.

What was supposed to be a fun night out quickly soured into an evening of humiliation as your date ignored your call for the third time since you'd arrived. You felt the shame creep up as you faced the cold hard fact, you'd been stood up.

Feeling utterly stupid for getting all primped and preened for some douche who didn't even have the nerve to cancel, you resigned yourself to the sad reality.

I mean he asked you out! He even bothered to make sure you were coming, all that to so coldly blow you off?

A disheartened breath escaped your lips as you let your head meet the table with a thunk. You quickly excused yourself from the restaurant, tossing the money for the wine you'd had with shakey hands. Tears had rushed to your eye, building at the waterline, but you didn't want to cry, not yet.

You'd done well not to fall to the urge to curl up and sob, kicking your boots off at the door, uncaring of the way they nearly knocked over a plant, it wasn't until a second later when the silence of your home became glaringly loud, did it all become too much.

Throwing yourself onto the couch, you buried your face in the soft cushion and wept like a baby. Shoulders shaking, voice cracking cries left your form. After a good fifteen minutes of crying as hard as you could, you wiped at your flush face and shuffled your way to the bottle of some half-empty whiskey, Marcos had left in your cabinet ages ago.

He'd pitch a full fit if he saw you chasing his 100$ liquor with the Coke you had in your fridge, the thought of the male made a new round of sobs bubble past your wet lips, you'd always held a candle of affection for the tall redhead, of course, you loved all of the Delmont's but you'd always had a little crush on Marcos, you compared it to the feeling of crushing on a celebrity, where your subconscious mind knows they're out of reach, so it feels like a harmless fantasy.

Love came to him so effortlessly, and he discarded it just as easily, the nasty feeling of envy came up and you quickly shook your head, choosing to drown the thoughts in the burning amber liquid rather than face them.

About an hour after your failed excursion, you found yourself resting comfortably on the kitchen floor, back pressed into the cool metal of your fridge, the whiskey bottle now empty, you'd taken to rolling it back and forth between your foot and the wall, allowing yourself to just be lost in the hazy sensations around you.

The shrill ring of your doorbell burst your blissfully drunk bubble.

"Go 'way.." you slurred from your rather relaxed position on the floor, the sexy outfit you'd put on just to show off was bunched at your waist for comfort, the knock came again, this time followed by the voice of one of your best friends.

"Sugarplum? It's us, can we come in?" Manny whined from behind the wood, you could practically see the pout on his face, of course, he had a key so it was really more of a formality than an actual question.

He didn't wait for your response, instead shuffling his way inside, the greasy takeout in his hand had you crawling across the floor to meet him halfway.

A happy and clearly drunk gasp left your wine-stained lips, "Manny! you didn't gimmie a hug earlier what was up with that?-Oh shit is that Taco Bell?" He made a noise of agreement holding the bag towards you. "Sure is, and m'sorry about before Hun, I was in a mood but I promise it wasn't your fault."

His voice was like warm sugar as he spoke, now kneeling beside you, he held his arms out eagerly accepting the somewhat sloppy hug you threw his way. "Now, can you let Marcos pick you up so you can eat baby?" His hands rubbed up and down your arms, bringing goosebumps to the surface.

With a few slow but determined nods, you happily agreed, turning to face Manny's other half.

The older of the two had squatted down beside you, his ring-clad hand moved to brush a few sweat-soaked curls from your head. "Hey princess." He smiled softly at your pretty flushed face, the way you stared up at him, had his pulse thumping. "Heeey good lookin' you come here often?" You threw your hands around his neck which gave him the perfect opportunity to scoop you up, he led you to the couch, setting you down as if you were made of porcelain. He sent his twin a subtle nod as he moved you.

"How was your date?" Marcos's honey-dipped voice cooed from his position beside you, the action sent vibrations down your back making you flinch away from him with an airy giggle. "Wellllll, kinda hard to rate it when the guy doesn't show up." You sighed hastily digging through the bag Mammy had given you.

"What a scumbag- I'd never leave you by your lonesome like that." He cupped your flushed cheek, gently rubbing his thumb along the underside of your jaw. Food momentarily forgotten you dropped the bag in your lap, shoulders sagging with all the weight of the failed night, "Promise?" You asked, getting teary-eyed all over again.

He felt his chest tighten at the sight, as pretty as you looked right now, he was the only one allowed to make you cry, anyone else doing it was basically a war crime in his eyes. "Cross my heart and hope to die, baby." He threw an arm over the couch allowing you space to cuddle into his side.

When you were good and comfy he turned you to face him with the lightest touch to your chin, "You see this?" He slipped the ring on his pointer finger off, and gently lowered the band around your thumb. "This makes my promise official."

Manny had suddenly appeared before you, a small cup in his hands.

"Hey sweetie, you finished off Marco's bottle huh?" He smiled at the dazy way you nodded yes, fighting the urge to gush over your cuteness, "Well I don't want you to be sick tomorrow, can you take these for me? Good girl." You'd opened your mouth without question, having nothing but trust in the two men before you, you let him hold the cup to your lips and swallowed, mumbling a sleepy "thank you." into the skin of Marco's neck. His full body shiver goes unnoticed by you.

The twins watched you fall under with laser-focused eyes, the hardest part would be peeling Marcos away from you long enough for him to do his job.

Once they had both you and your stuff tucked away snugly in the car, Manny insisted on being in the back with you, holding you close to his chest, in your sleep, you held him back, quickly becoming overwhelmed by all the good emotions pumping through his veins- at his love for you, he felt himself get a bit teary at the sight of you finally where you belonged, safe in his arms.

Marcos made good and sure to wipe away any evidence of them being there, and all but ran back to their car to begin the long drive to your forever house.

Back at said home, the eldest of the brothers was doing one last walkthrough to make everything perfect for his Honey's arrival.

Caspian had managed to make the home feel lived in from the few hours he had to prep, a fully stocked kitchen, your favorite scent wafting gently through the air, Ricky had the foresight to install dimmer switches in every room because he knew how you loathed the 'big light', your bedroom had the biggest bed Caspian had ever seen, he'd made sure everything was ready for your arrival, even taking the time to warm your blankets in the dryer.

He moved around the space with a fluidness surprising for someone of his size, already familiar with the layout, the eldest Delmont made his final rounds around the home, making extra sure all the locks and exits were secure, he knew eventually, you'd come to love it here, but he also understood you'd need some time to adjust, these were just precautions.

He nearly squealed when he got the text from the twins, you were finally here! Finally home. He couldn't wait to hug you, kiss you, and give you all the affection he'd been forced to hold back. But he was a patient man and knew you'd be overwhelmed if he did, so instead, he settled for scooping you out of the car, much to his younger brother's displeasure.

You snuggled into his warmth in your sleep, to which he couldn't help but coo over. "Welcome home Honey," he whispered into the crown of your head, a small kiss left as he gently, but hurriedly rushed you inside and away from the snowfall that had just begun.

Manny nearly tackled his twin when they entered their new house, his energy was off the roof, practically buzzing in place as he took in their dream home. The living room had a 70's style conversation pit where you all could relax and they could smother you in the affection you so clearly needed.

A part of him was still bitter about the date, not at you, never at you, but the feeling was there, and all he wanted to do right now was hold you to his chest and let the lull of your heartbeat calm him down. Marcos plopped himself on the soft cushioned couch with a troubling sigh and waved him over.

"What's up? You got a weird look on your face." Manny couldn't fathom his twin being anything other than elated right now, so the odd air around him didn't sit well with the youngest.

"C'mere for a sec Little man- we gotta go over some ground rules before she wakes up." Manny's smile fell as he complied, sitting with a pout, "Ground rules are how we ended up here in the first place." He all but sneered, arms crossed in visible frustration.

Marcos held his hands up in a show of surrender. "I get it, but this is different."

"I know you're excited, god I am too, but there's a real chance she won't be too happy when she wakes up." The older of the two now sat hunched over, his elbows on his knees as he tried to find the right words to explain to his other half.

"What do you mean? This house was literally made for us all, we're in the woods like she's always talked about- she's gonna love it!" Marcos sighed taking his younger brother's hand, already he could feel him panicking at the thought of this going anything but swell.

"Think about it like this bud, she has no idea how we feel, this is gonna be the first time she hears it, and we feel a lot, so we gotta be delicate."

Manny felt his face scrunch in confusion, not able to understand why you wouldn't be happy. You'd never have to lift a finger again, no more bills, work or slimy coffee house creeps to prey on your sweetness, he knew you'd be your happiest here!

"Not to mention the whole waking up somewhere she didn't fall asleep thing." He licked his bottom lip, knowing he had to toe the line in fear of causing his younger brother's next breakdown.

"I'm just sayin' this in case she freaks out okay? I don't want you to be caught off guard- if she says anything mean or hurtful you can't lose your cool aight'?" Marcos watched his younger brother as he processed his words. Knowing his reaction could go either way.

After a tense moment of silence, there was a shift in Manny's expression, as if something clicked. He rubbed at his chin, and Marcos could practically see the gears in his head turning.

"..Okay, it's sorta' like when we brought home that feral kitty, can't hold it against her if we get a few scratches right?" Marcos felt himself relax nodding with a smile that mirrored Manny's. "That's exactly right Bud, C'mon when Cas comes out we can go in there, we should be the first faces she sees dontcha' think?"

Ricky and Gabe arrived at their new home at the same time. The ladder immediately headed straight for the shower as whatever it was he did to your date still stained his hands crimson. Gabe couldn't wipe the wild grin from his face if he wanted to, he felt like he'd just won the lottery.

Ricky had done exactly as he said he would and left a convincing trail of evidence that you were feeling a bit free-spirited and decided to take a little vacation, of course leaving out the where and with whom.

He made his way around your new home with a feeling of accomplishment, everything was perfect now.

You were safe, and once you got over whatever adjustment period you needed, he knew everyone would be happier than ever before. Caspian greeted his younger brother with a bear hug, his smile wider than Ricky had seen in years. "You did good Ricky, real good. This place is perfect." The praise made a weight lift off the long-haired man's shoulders, Caspian was the one he looked up to the most, so to hear such positive confirmation made him let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I'm scared she's gonna' freak out- I don't want her to hate us-" he found his anxieties tumbling past his lips without permission, Caspian had that effect on people.

"She won't. Know why? Because this was the right call, we have all the time in the world to show her just how much we care okay? Don't stress it." He clapped a hand on his shoulder and began dragging him to the kitchen.

"C'mon I got too excited and kinda' made too much food."

Gabe took his time in the shower, letting the perfectly hot water wash away his sins of the night. Scratch that, he didn't consider his acts sins, or that of violence, rather, it was an act of love, putting that bastard in the ground for you was just him speaking his particular brand of love language.

The wicked smile curled upon his lips only widened as he watched the pink water turn clear, he was giddy at the thought of you sleeping peacefully just a few rooms away. You were here, like actually here. Nothing or no one would ever hurt you again, and most excitingly, he didn't have to hold back anymore, once you woke up he was going to spill his guts, and if his words of love weren't enough to convince you, he'd just have to show you how you effected him all these years.

Waking up in a slightly hungover haze in an entirely different place than you passed out in should have sent you into a panic, but the familiar feeling of being sandwiched between the twins killed any fear that may have come up, even half asleep and a little hungover, you knew you were always safe when a Delmont was around.

Before you could try to wrap your head around your new surroundings both Manny and Marcos were pressing a big fat kiss into each of your cheeks. "Morning sunshine." Manny sang sweetly, Marcos gave you a hug from the side mumbling his greeting into the skin of your neck. When they pulled away you were far too flustered to ask all the questions burning in your mind, instead, you returned the greetings and mutely followed behind them as Manny took your hand and began to lead you away from the wonderful room you'd woken up in.

Manny led you to the dining room of the seemingly massive house you resided in while Marcos went to shower (not before inviting you to join him of course), the youngest Delmont was as chatty as ever, rambling about everything and nothing but his words weren't registering, you definitely didn't remember coming to wherever the hell this was, and him acting so normal made you feel even weirder, as you shuffled forward the familiar sounds of the rest of the boys got louder and louder.

"Gabriel Miguel Delmont if you touch that bacon one more time I'm putting you outside like a dog." Caspian rarely yelled, even now when he was scolding the blue-haired giant he sounded more disappointed than angry, but it was his voice you noticed first.

"C'mon Cas I'm hungryyy-" you could hear the pout in Gabe's words, "I wanna' eat, there's no reason to wait it's not like we're running out of food anytime soon."

"Yeah well, people in hell want ice water so tough."

"Gabe shut up- Cas stop readjusting the silverware she's not gonna' notice."

"But she might!!" As you both rounded the corner the conversation fell deathly silent. Each man was overcome with their affection for you, it didn't help that you looked so damn cute rubbing the sleep from your eye.

"Mornin'?" You said after a good thirty seconds of them just staring. This seemed to restart them all as Caspian jumped to pull out a chair, his warm smile was infectious, and you found yourself returning it as you sat. "Holy hell Cas you made enough to feed an army."

The spread before you was truly something out of a movie, from savory grits to big fluffy waffles, he seemed to have made every one of your favorite breakfast dishes, and each looked picture-perfect, he was all but beaming as he stood beside you.

"Hope you're hungry." He laughed a bit, nervously flattening the baby pink apron covering his wide chest, he picked up the plate before you, staring down through his thick lashes with such warmth it made your heart race. "May I?" He gestured to the buffet and you nodded, mouth slightly agape as your brain tried to process the scene.

Ricky sat across from you, his long hair in a messy bun, a few strands fell out, framing his face, which speaking of was fixed in the most peaceful expression, you couldn't recall the last time he seemed so relaxed. For once he didn't look like he was moments away from falling asleep, instead, he seemed refreshed, like he'd caught up on all the rest he hadn't gotten over the years.

He stared at you with the softest look, licking his bottom lip before speaking, "Good morning love, did you sleep well?" He sipped at his mug, the cinnamon coffee scent wafted through the room, that cat-like stare of his never once leaving your form.

"Slept like the dead actually-" You figured now was good a time as any to bring up the elephant in the room. "Probably the best sleep I've gotten in ages- speaking of whose bed did I just wake up in?"

"Sorry for the holdup! Water's still warm if you wanna shower sweets." Marcos cut you off as he entered taking his seat by Manny who sat directly to your right, as he eagerly drank you in, the youngest seemed to be vibrating in his seat.

"You should eat, lord knows the last time you did." Gabe teased from his spot beside Ricky, he was the most unabashed in his staring, it felt as if he was just barely holding himself back from leaping across the table, to do what you had no idea, but the grip he had on his fork was cause for concern.

After Caspian deemed your plate full enough he set it before you, his large frame cast a shadow across the table as he leaned over, it almost sounded as if he smelled your hair as he pulled away to take the seat by your left.

"Okay everyone eat up, after you do I'll answer all your questions okay? No lies. Complete transparency." Ricky spoke as if reading your mind, he gave you that smile of his that always made you feel like everything was under control and you relinquished yourself to the five-star meal before you.

If you could ignore the new location, the scene you found yourself in felt rather familiar. Each man bickered with each other as you all ate, you could almost pretend you were back at their house. Gabe finished first as usual, going in for seconds when he asked you to pass him the eggs, his much larger hand gently brushed over your own, and based on the grin he was sporting after, the move was intentional.

Once everyone was finished you thanked Caspian for the meal and turned your attention to Ricky, who looked a bit nervous now. "Soo. This isn't my house?" Despite your casual and light-hearted tone, the atmosphere seemed to shift at that second.

"Yes, it is, just not your old one. And to answer your question from before, that was your bed you woke up in."

"Right. Okay sure- where exactly are we? It's snowing outside." Ricky took a moment to finish off his coffee before responding.

"We're home. Our new home and it's winter Darling, snow is expected for this area." The long-haired man seemed to choose his words carefully, putting extra emphasis on the word our.

"Okay. Um and how exactly did I get to this area? The last thing I remember was chilling at my place with things 1&2 over there." The twins stared at you bashfully, both suddenly looking everywhere but you.

You flicked your gaze over each of them, all looking rather anxious, Ricky opened his mouth to answer but Marcos beat him to the punch. "I- we brought you here last night." He gestured to his twin who was beaming at you. "We couldn't just leave you alone in the state you were in." He added, not technically a lie he reasoned mentally.

You nodded to yourself, wondering how to ask what you really wanted to know.

"You're wondering why right?" Caspian spoke up, his voice was gentle as if talking down a wounded, cornered animal.

You nodded, brows furrowed in confusion, not trusting your voice.

"Well-" he seemed to look to his brothers for confirmation before continuing, a red hue growing on his cheeks as he racked his mind for the right words, he had so much he wanted to say to you! Everything got all jumbled in his brain causing the eldest Delmont to visibly fluster.

"God I've been thinking about this moment for years but now that you're actually here I'm blanking." He let out an embarrassed laugh, rubbing his hand over his face as he stumbled over his words.

"Okay I'll say it since these bozos forgot how to talk or somethin'," Gabe rolled up his sleeves and leaned over on the table all business-like.

"You are ours now-" he gestured to the rest of the men in the room, "Sorry, I say 'now' like you haven't always been, but officially, you're ours." He gave a self-satisfied grin, leaning back into his chair. "Yours? what?" He cooed at your frustration, reaching across the table to take your hand in his much larger one.

"Ours to protect," he kissed your pointer finger, "To love," another kiss, now on your palm. "To fuck." His searing stare was only broken when he took the tip of your finger between his lips, gently sucking as he pulled away.

You felt like liquid putty as if he was the only thing grounding you at the moment.

Marcos rolled his eyes at his brute of a brother, jealousy came off him in waves as he sat on the table, taking your other hand he began laying on a few of his own possessive kisses, between each one he spoke "What that meathead is trying to say is we want to take care of you," another kiss, "-all of you." Another. "In every way." He added as if it cleared up any of your steadily building confusion.

Between the tingling in your lower abdomen to the confusion-headache beginning to pulse, you felt breathless.

"Sorry- just let me get this right. You took me out to some fancy cabin in the woods to take care of me?" Your face scrunched in confusion, and gently, you took back both your hands in an attempt to calm down, fanning your face you shakily laughed,

"Why? I'm okay guys really-"

"No, you're not!" Manny interrupted with a teary-eyed huff. "You feel lonely. I know you do, you told me so! You said you were gonna go out with that loser cuz you felt unwanted! That doesn't sound okay to me." The jealousy practically seeped from his words, his bright orange eyes held this darkness you'd only seen in him once or twice, and while he'd always been rather protective of you, this level of hate for someone else at your expense was new.

He had worked himself up and out of instinct, your hand found his own, immediately it calmed his tantrum down, resulting in him just sniffling instead of screaming which he very much wanted to do.

Brushing your thumb against the back of his hand in what you hoped were comforting circles, you hushed his tears, wiping them away with a practiced tenderness.

"It's okay Manny- don't get upset, not for me. I'm just trying to understand all this, can you help me understand?" He nuzzled into your palm like a pup, sighing deeply, he leaned over to rest his forehead against your own.

"I love you- we all do."

"God- I love you guys too, you're my family-"

"No! No! No! Not like that!- we love you." Manny had leaped from his seat, falling to his knees like a worshiper at their God's alter. "I love you like... I love you like the moon loves the sun. I crave you," he kissed his way from your feet to your calves, his hands rubbing patterns into the flesh, "I need you more than I need air in my lungs!" he whined looking up from between your knees.

"I adore you darling- we all do, can't you see?" Bending down, you wipe at his tears once more, and he melts into your touch, muttering this next bit into your skin, "My heart beats for you."

Heat as you'd never felt before rushed through your veins at his bold confession. Your heart raced, blood pounding in your ears as you looped his words in your brain.

A thousand emotions whirled inside you as you stared at them all, there was a small part of you that thought this was all some dream your lonely mind concocted after a night of getting hammered. But then you felt Manny's tears begin to soak into the fabric of your sweats, and the reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks.

Your mouth gaped as you struggled to find the right words. "You're in love with me? Like all of you?" Manny had resigned himself to leaning in your lap, head buried in your thighs as you combed through his curls with one hand.

"I don't know what to say." You spoke honestly, staring at each of them, you expected sadness from your lack of response but only found warmth in their gazes.

"And you don't need to, I'm glad you're even hearing us out," Caspian spoke, taking a hesitant seat beside you as if he was afraid to scare you off. "Of course, I'm hearing you out you guys are everything to me, sure you went about telling me in the absolute wildest way possible but I don't know what I'd do without you- all of you."

"And you never have to. I meant what I said, you're ours now, we got all the time in the world for you to catch up." Gabe said, his eyes flickered over his youngest brother, still in your lap, and instead of animosity, he stared with a knowing grin. "Okay little man, you worked yourself up, c'mon let's take a walk."

A muffled shout of 'No!' could be heard from Manny, his grip on your waist had become like iron, but Gabe persisted. He scooped the skinner male up by his arms, much like a cat grabbing their kitten by the scruff of its neck, and dragged the pouting male outside with a well-timed wink. "See you in a bit Ma." And with that, they left.

You offered to help Cas clear the dishes, if only for a sense of normalcy but he quickly ushered you away, sending you off to rest with a quick peck to your cheek.

In an attempt not to overwhelm you, each Delmont was off to their own devices, Gabe and Manny still hadn't returned from their walk, Marcos was hotboxing the basement and Caspian was humming his way around the kitchen, which left you to wander the large estate you'd found yourself in.

Retracing your steps led you back into the room you'd woken up in, the large space was open and seemed almost tailored to your tastes. You took the time to search the drawers and see your clothes, the bathroom connected to the room was fully stocked with your favorite brands, and much to your growing confusion, even had stuff from your wishlist.

You looked for your phone in all the typical places it usually was, purse, nightstand, etc. But came up empty-handed. You had a sneaking feeling this was intentional as everything else you could have needed for this impromptu vacation was accounted for.

Feeling the burn of more questions you sought out the man who swore to answer them.

He wasn't too hard to find, and the sound of soft music coming from a record player led you straight to him, the room he was in looked like an upgraded version of his office, he was writing in a leather-bound journal so intensely he didn't notice you walk up. He always looked so pretty when he was working, chin jutted out just the slightest as his eyes flickered back and forth, you always told him how he looked like he belonged in a modern art museum.

"Hey, Ricky?" His head snapped towards you with breakneck speed. "What's up?" He seemed eager as he snapped the book shut and shoved it in a drawer, his small smile was enough to relax you, quickly turning to give you his undivided attention, he waved you in.

"You know where my phone is? I couldn't find it with all my stuff." He smiled at you, taking his glasses off with finesse as if he was prepared for this question. "The boys must have forgotten it." He said matter of factly.

"Well can I use yours?"

"It's dead."

You scoffed feeling your irritation spike at his dismissive attitude, you turned to leave before he spoke out again. "What are you so eager to do on the phone exactly?"

"Oh my god- nothing, I get you guys are trying to- well do whatever this is, but you can't just keep me from my life Rick- I don't need to be coddled." He leaned back into his seat, brows furrowed at your tense form.

"And what exactly are we keeping you from? An empty apartment? A job you despise that sucks the joy outta ya?" He sighed through his nose, tucking a runaway strand behind his ear, "You don't need to worry about any of that shit anymore okay? Have you looked around the house yet?" He asked changing the subject smoothly, you shook your head no, anger fading as quickly as it had come, and watched as he rose, pausing to crack his back.

"Well c'mon, there's lots to see and you oughta be familiar with your own home."

The two of you walked side by side as he took you along the tour, so far not including the rooms you'd already been in, you'd seen a reading room, but what made you pause was the living room itself. It had a flat screen that took up a whole wall, a working currently lit fireplace, a few hanging plants and well-placed candles, and dead center was what you considered the crowing jewel, a mauve and orange themed conversation pit, one you'd always dreamed of having. You couldn't fight your excitement as you rushed past him to flop on the soft cushion.

"I think I've died and gone to heaven." You mumbled into the fabric, Ricky stared on in amusement, more than pleased you seemed to be enjoying the home he'd painstakingly brought together for you. Every inch of the house was managed with you in mind, he'd kept amazing notes on your likes and preferences throughout the years, but seeing your genuine excitement had to be his favorite part.

"I promise we can come back here but there are literally three floors to this mother fucker." He smiled down at you, holding a slender hand out, he felt his heart swell as you took it, but instead of rising to his level, you yanked him down to your own, pulling him over, he bounced on the couch with shock written on his features.

"No way my guy- tour is officially paused until we test this here T.V. out okay?" His face flushed as you curled up beside him, "Yes ma'am." He laughed a bit to himself, loving how easily you were entertained. He pulled the remote out from a cleverly disguised compartment on the couch and watched your eyes light up even brighter.

"Holy shit secret couch pouch."

"Focus woman, I paid good money for this T.V. and you're more interested in the furniture." He turned on a random movie and let himself relax at the moment. Drinking in the sight of you so at ease, his heart about exploded from his chest when you snuggled into his side, his arm wrapped around you snuggly, hand rubbing patterns into your flesh.

You didn't feel like racking your brain with a million questions about why you were there or where their sudden confessions came from, instead, you chose to focus on what you did know, Ricky was comfortable, and despite everything, you still trusted the Delmont men, as they were all you knew.

Maybe subconsciously you knew this was wrong, that keeping you here was wrong, but it didn't feel wrong. It felt right. Like you were supposed to be here at this moment.

You ended up passing out in the tall man's arms, your small snores and completely relaxed face had Ricky's skin flushed cherry red, he couldn't wipe the grin from his lips if he tried, Gabe and a now calmed down Manny returned shortly after you fell asleep, the older of the two insisted on carrying you back to your room, only he stopped by his room to tuck you snuggly into bed, wrapped in his soft Egyptian cotton black sheets, he felt himself twitch in his pants at the sight of you so safe and sound.

He stood over you for a while, happy to stand there and drink you in all night, only to be interrupted by a text from his older brother.

"Okay so, how do we think it's going?" Caspian asked after summoning them all to the still slightly smokey basement, he held a tablet in one hand, the cameras placed around the house were mostly for his peace of mind, so he could be sure you were okay no matter where he was.

"She seemed chill at breakfast, I say a win is a win." Gabe shrugged, eager to leave this little meeting and cuddle up to you.

"Yeah I'm with Gabe on this one, she seems okay, do we have to keep up with the whole 'give her space' thing?" Marcos asked from his spot on the couch, he was lying on his back tossing a foam football up and down.

"I wanna sleep with her- s'not fair Ricky got to." Manny piped up from his seat on a beanbag, the pout could be heard in his voice.

"I was just in the right place at the right time, not like I planned it." Ricky defended himself, but the satisfied smile on his face made it hard to believe him. "And it could just be the shock, give it a few days before you lay into her, and I'm looking at you three." Gabe and the twins made a noise of disbelief.

The next morning you awoke not on the couch but pressed against the big chest of one Gabriel Delmont. The bluenette had one hand behind his head and the other securely wrapped around your middle, holding you against him, he rarely slept in a shirt so you were used to his statuesque features, but it felt different now, after his bold claim at the breakfast table, it all seemed rather intimate to be face first in his naked chest.

As if he sensed you were awake, he soon started shuffling close toward you.

"G'mornin Mi Amor." His morning voice was husky with sleep, it sent a warm tingle down your spine as he shifted, pulling you even closer. "Morning Gabe." He stared at you for a second before tilting your chin up with his free hand, his pillowy lips were on yours in an instant, warm and cozy, he hummed as he pulled away, his smile turning wicked at the obvious heat on your face.

"I uh- I fell asleep on the couch?" Was all your brain managed to say after the heated kiss, still processing the tingly way it made you feel.

He huffed a laugh, leaning over to place another kiss, this time on your neck, "Yeah I may have stolen you from Ricky but you can't really blame me." He mumbled into the flesh of your neck, the sensation made a ghost of a whimper leave your lips.

He froze against you before his lips turned to teeth, "Keep making those pretty noises for me n' We're never leaving the bed." He sounded breathless as he nipped and sucked his mark into your skin. Breathy little moans left your lips, "Shit- hold on a second-ngh."

Your hands buried themselves in him, one in his hair the other trying to find purchase on his toned back. His chest began to rise and fall, his heart pounding as he fell into the delicious sensations, your hand tugging at his locks, the other digging into his skin so hard he felt the crescent-shaped indents you were leaving, the mental image of your own mark on him had him rolling his hips into yours, his boxers suddenly all too tight, he rolled himself to lay comfortably between your thighs, suddenly, he lifted himself just enough to stare in your eyes. "You want my tongue or my fingers first Ma'?" The sinful smile he sported was enough to short-circuit your brain.

But before you could stumble out an answer, a few sharp knocks came from the door, so hard they shook the wood.

"Put your dick away Gabriel, food's ready." Marco's voice carried through the barrier instantly popping whatever heated bubble you two had been in. Gabe growled something obscene under his breath, his angry stare melted back into a teasing one as he met your gaze once more.

"To be continued Baby girl."

Your second breakfast at your new home was a lot like the first one, only this time before you could sit Manny pulled you into his lap, his surprisingly strong arms locked around your waist, fingers dancing along any skin he could find. "Missed you." He mumbled into the back of your neck, goosebumps exploded across your skin at the timber in his voice. "But you just seen me?" You couldn't fight the giggles that escaped you as he started trailing little kisses along the column of your throat, nosing just below your ear as he knew you were ticklish. "So what? I didn't wake up and see you so it's been too long." He reasoned, basking in the perfect way you fit in his arms, how soft and warm you were.

"Oi, let her eat." Ricky pointed his fork at the youngest, his tone full of accusation. "Hmm that's fair, my baby does need to eat, hey Cas, little help?" Manny asked hiding his wolfish grin by kissing your nape. He knew what he was doing.

"Well of course." The eldest Delmont was quick to bring a fork full of food to your lips, the heat in your stomach only worsened as he stared down at you so lovingly. Being hand-fed was embarrassing, but with each passing moment the electric feeling of Manny's wandering hands paired with the downright lustful way Caspian was staring at you, and each of the little proud noises he made whenever you took a bite, quickly wiped away any embarrassment.

You managed to usher Caspian to his seat so he himself could eat, Manny seemed much too preoccupied caressing your body to feed himself, so you cleared your throat, it was almost comical how each of their heads snapped towards you, like a pack of puppies waiting for their next command.

"So- uhm, what's on the agenda today?" It was hard to keep your voice steady, Manny's fingers danced up and down your sides in an addicting manner.

"I've gotta head into town with Manny and Gabe, pop needs us for a few hours but when we come back I'll make it up to you okay love?" Ricky spoke first seemingly genuinely upset at the prospect of leaving you, the other two mentioned visibly deflated at the news, and the younger twin tightened his hold on you.

Once those three departed Marcos loudly announced he was taking a bath and how lonely it be, oh if only someone would help him, only leaving when Caspian launched his slipper at the devious Twin.

Which left you with the gentle giant of the house.

You helped Cas clear the table no matter how adorable the pout on his face was. It felt so normal, drying the dishes as he washed, a soft song playing in the background.

"How are you doing? I mean really doing." He spoke so gently, so earnestly, the truth couldn't help but come out of you. "I feel like I'm dreaming. Like I'm gonna wake up any second and all of this will have been some strange concoction by my lonely brain." You laughed as you spoke, but it was true.

It was as if you were waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Why do you say that Honey?" He seemed so concerned, enough to set the plate he had in the sink, dry his hands, and turn and face you fully. "Well- I mean it is all very dreamy, plus you guys all- I mean what you said at breakfast yesterday, that you all um-" For some reason, the words refused to leave like you were embarrassed to say them Incase you were wrong.

"Love you?" He asked, gently taking each of your hands, "Yeah- I mean I'm flattered, fuck any one of you being into me is like a dream but all of you? I'm just kinda, scared I guess? That this is another one of those jokes where I'm the only one not in on it." His frown was so out of place on his face, how disturbed he seemed. Before you could backpedal he was lowering himself down just enough to scoop you up and sit you on the kitchen counter.

"I'm so sorry baby, my poor girl." He sighed, thumb brushing against your cheek. "Your brain is being mean to you, that's just not gonna work for me." He rolled up the sleeves of his sweater and undid his apron with a finesse that had your thighs clenching together. "We shoulda' told you how we felt years ago. Then it be unquestionable. I guess I just gotta convince you some other way right?" He had this look in his eye, the bass in his voice made your next words come out shakey.

"What did you have in mind?"

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 10 days

Text

Never Say Never

Chapter 19

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 7.4K

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

The peak of summer had hit. Humid days meant lots of time at the local pool and lake. You and Steve were enjoying every moment of the boys' break from school with them. Picnics in the woods, cookouts with friends, mini-golf, and trips to the zoo filled up your weekends. Evening bike rides had become part of your routine, often ending with ice cream cones or slushies from Scoops Ahoy. Nights spent chasing fireflies and roasting marshmallows over a fire. You and Steve had taken to enjoying evenings on the deck after the boys were in bed, glasses of wine in your hands.

Mid-July found everyone once again sitting around a large table at Sage and Salt, minus your parents, as you were all there for an entirely different reason this time.

“To Mike!” everyone cheered loudly, glasses clinking in celebration all around the table.

Mike’s cheeks blazed bright red, his lips disappearing in embarrassment at everyone making a fuss over him. He’d told you last week that he finally got an offer for his book. The book he’d been working on for years was finally going to be published, he was getting a decent advance for a new author, had signed the contract just that afternoon, and everyone had insisted on going out to celebrate.

“Thank you but this all feels a little…premature, doesn’t it?” he asked. “I mean, yeah, I got an offer and signed a contract but we have no idea how the book is going to do. Getting published doesn’t mean anything. Lots of people get published and their book just sits on a shelf collecting dust. It could still horribly flop.”

“It will not,” insisted El, looping her arm through his, a proud smile on her face. “You are going to do incredible. Michael Wheeler is going to be a household name.”

“Yeah, man. You could be the next Stephen King,” Lucas said.

Dustin snorted, “Nobody’s the next Stephen King. Stephen King is the only Stephen King there is or ever will be. Besides, his books are in a totally different genre. You can’t even compare the two.”

Max rolled her eyes, “Jesus Christ, Dustin. Can you just say yeah and be happy for your friend?”

“I am happy for my friend but it would be more appropriate to compare him to Eddings or Brookes as his book would be of the fantasy genre and they are fantasy authors. Of course, those are big shoes to fill. If his books do even half as well as theirs I will be impressed.”

“Okay, we get it,” Steve sighed, shaking his head. “Anyway, this is a huge deal and I am sure your book is going to be great. Congratulations Mike.”

“Thank you.”

“Yes, we’re so proud of you,” Karen beamed, teary, reaching over the table to pinch his cheek as he grimaced and pulled back from his mom.

“It’s about time,” Tedd grumbled, taking a long drink of his beer. “Only been working on the damn thing for five years, letting his wife pick up the slack.” Karen elbowed him and he looked over at her, completely unaware of how rude he was being.

“Well,” Joyce added, “I think it’s great. I can’t wait to read it. I will be first in line to buy it the day it comes out.”

Mike smiled at her, “Thanks.” He glanced around the table at all of his friends. “And thanks to all of you. If you wouldn’t have pushed me so hard, I’d probably still be editing it over and over again, too scared to ever actually put it out into the world.”

Nancy ruffled his hair, “No problem, kid. We all knew you had it in you even if you didn’t.”

“It’s an amazing story,” Will told them. “Mike really did his research. It’s well planned out, the plot is gripping, the characters are amazing, and the world building is on point.”

Dustin’s mouth dropped open, his fork hitting the plate with a clang, his eyebrows furrowing, “Wait. You’ve read it?”

Will shrugged, “I mean, yeah. Mike wanted me to look it over to see what I thought. I actually helped him with some of the editing.”

“How come he got to read it?” demanded Dustin, offended. “You said we couldn’t read it until it was published and perfect?”

“It’s Will,” Mike stated as if that should be enough explanation. “I trust Will to be honest with me.”

“We’re honest,” Lucas scoffed.

Max’s eyes rolled into her head, “Boys, boys…calm down. You all will have a chance to read it in a few months when it comes out. No need to bicker over who got to read it first. You’re all very important to Mike.”

“Speaking of people who are about to be famous, you will never guess who I saw at the record store today,” Robin said, turning to Steve as the boys continued to banter back and forth, her hand reaching across the table to grab a roll from the basket sitting in front of Steve.

“Who?” he asked.

“Eddie Munson.”

Steve’s eyes went wide, “For real?”

Robin nodded with a grin like she’d just spilled the juiciest news ever but being that you had no idea who she was talking about, you just munched on your bread. It didn’t appear that June had any idea who it was either as her and you shared a look of confusion. Based on the look on Steve’s face, this was very big news indeed.

“But I thought he took off,” Steve continued. “After senior year…well, his third try at senior year, anyway. He said he was getting out of this hellhole and never looking back.”

“He did get out. Hasn’t lived here for years but he came back to help Wayne pack up the trailer. Apparently, his band just got a record deal with this big label in L.A. He said they’ve been playing in clubs for years and were just thinking of packing it in and giving it up when this big record executive came to one of their shows. Anyway, they gave him this huge advance and he bought a house out there and Wayne is going to move in with him.”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Steve remarked, his hand on your shoulder, thumb stroking the bare skin along the strap of your tank top. You had learned over the last few months that he was a very physical guy. Some part of him was almost always touching you and you weren’t complaining about it. “Good for him. You know, the way this town treated him, I always hoped he’d do well and show them all.”

“Who’s Eddie Munson?” June questioned just as you were about to ask it yourself.

“He’s this guy we went to school with. He’s Steve’s age but he had some struggles in school so he wound up graduating with my class. Honestly, I think he might have had ADD but of course they didn’t really talk about that back then. They’ve only really started talking about it in the last couple years. If you couldn’t keep your ass in the chair and learn like everyone else then you were just out of luck. Most of the teachers wrote him off as a lost cause so he lived up to it. He was sent out of the classroom so many times for being obnoxious or causing a disruption. But he was crazy talented at the guitar and he always had a book he was reading. People called him dumb but I never thought he was. Annoying, absolutely, but not dumb. I think he just couldn’t get it the way they were teaching it and no one took the time to figure out how to teach him.”

Steve shrugged, “He had it hard here. The town treated him like trash because his dad was trash. His old man went to prison for selling hot car parts and his mom took off when he was just a toddler. He wound up living with his Uncle Wayne when he was in middle school. Wayne had a trailer in Forest Hills. So on top of being a felon’s kid, on top of having trouble at school, he also lived in a trailer. It was the trifecta of judgement for the people in this town. Everyone always said he was up to no good and he was going to turn out just like his father.”

“You know,” Robin mused, tearing off little bits of her roll and stuffing them in her mouth, “one time some of the cheerleaders were being mean to me. Not that it wasn’t something that happened all the time.” She snorted, rolling her eyes. “I was a band geek so the jocks and the popular kids loved to give us shit. Anyway, they took my trumpet and were playing keepaway. Eddie stepped right in and swiped it from them, depositing it in my hands with a flourish and a bow before strolling off down the hallway. I always kind of admired him. He never let those asshats get him down. He just was who he was and he didn’t care what anyone thought of him.”

“I don’t know,” countered Steve. “I think everyone cares what other people think of them. I just think some of us are better at pretending like we don’t. I think that obnoxious, boisterous exterior was a shield he put up to protect himself once he realized he was never going to be accepted by this place. It was easier to pretend it didn’t matter than to allow himself to be vulnerable to the mockery. Dustin sure loved the guy though.”

“Loved who?” asked Dustin, catching the sound of his name.

“Eddie Munson,” Steve answered.

“Hell yeah I did. All of us did.” He gestured down the table to the other boys. “He was a Dungeons and Dragons Master. He was the head of our D&D club, Hellfire, and we all joined our freshman year of high school. Me, Lucas, Mike, and Will were never what you’d call…popular. Lucas was a bit once he started playing basketball and helped them win the championship game. But Eddie, man, he just accepted us from the first day. He gave us a place to belong. We were happy to be one of his sheep.”

Steve snorted, “It was like a damn cult. He referred to them as his sheep like he was a shepherd leading the flock. All four boys loved him but Dustin freaking worshiped the ground he walked on.”

“He passed the reins onto Dustin when he finally graduated, appointing him Dungeon Master,” Robin said, pausing to thank the waitress as she brought their food. “But he was heartbroken when he found out Eddie was going to completely skip town.”

“He was my friend. Hell, he was more like a brother, and he was a hell of a Dungeon master. I tried to fill his shoes but nobody really could,” Dustin stated. “I’ve been out there to visit him a few times, actually. He’s in town right now. Did you know that?”

“That’s what I was just telling him, doofus,” Robin said. Dustin stuck his tongue out at her and she laughed.

“And were you close to Eddie?” you asked Steve.

“Me? No. Not so much. Eddie and I…we didn’t have a lot in common. He was a metalhead who loved to play nerd games. I was an athlete who would rather do just about anything than Dungeons and Dragons. But I never had an issue with him like some people. I always thought he was a pretty good guy. Henderson’s a good judge of character. If he says you’re solid, you probably are. My few interactions with him were alright.”

One of Robin’s eyebrows lifted, her elbow dropping to the table as she leaned forward, “Oh please! You hated that Dustin and him were so close.”

“Yeah he did! He didn’t like that I had another older male friend. He wanted to be the only one.”

Steve’s lips came together, making a noise of disbelief, “Okay, one, gross. And please. Like I cared who you spent your time with. I was just relieved you weren’t constantly following me around anymore.”

Robin turned to you, “Don’t let him fool you. He was so jealous that Dustin was spending more time with Eddie. He got used to being the only one that the kid hero worshipped.”

“Aww,” you teased, poking him in the side, giggling when he jumped. “You didn’t like having to share your little brother?”

His eyes narrowed, “Please. Like I cared who Dustin Henderson hung out with.”

“Oh, he did,” Dustin shot back. “He can act like he didn’t want me around but he’d be lying. Steve loves me.”

“Okay, anyway, onto another topic please,” Steve begged, popping a fry into his mouth as the other guys caught wind of the conversation and started asking Dustin about Eddie.

“Alright, how about we talk about how my amazing girlfriend had some brilliant ideas about how to get more business into the coffee shop?” June offered, her hand covering Robin’s. “I was telling her how weekday evenings can be pretty dead and I wasn’t sure if I should start closing early and she had some amazing suggestions.”

“Oh yeah?” You leaned forward, arms folded on top of the table. You smiled at how red Robin’s cheeks flared at June’s compliment. “What amazing suggestions did you have?”

Robin shook her head, fingers tearing little pieces of her napkin nervously. “It wasn’t really anything spectacular…”

“Yes it was!” June huffed, rolling her eyes. “She’s just being modest. She mentioned starting a book club night. We could have specials to lure them in. I mean, what goes better with a conversation about a good book than a cup of coffee and yummy sweets?”

“Oh, I think that’s a fantastic idea!” you exclaimed, bringing your straw to your lips for a sip of Coke. “We don’t really have anywhere in town that does book clubs. I think you’d get a lot of people interested. You could even make a special dessert to go with the book they’re reading.”

June’s eyes lit up. “I love that idea! Like I could make something with orange marmalade for Bridget Jones's Diary. We think that might be the first pick. I could even come up with some fun drinks to go with it. Maybe instead of coffee, have a fun tea beverage.”

“Yes! I’m totally in for the book club.”

“Oh, did I hear you say you’re starting a book club at the cafe?” asked Nancy, making her way down the table to join them. “I’m in.”

“Really?” Robin asked. “I mean, you really think it’s a good idea?”

“I told you babe,” June sighed, “it’s an amazing idea. We’re thinking about Tuesday nights. We’ll feature one book a month. I’m partnering with Terry, who owns the bookstore. He said he’ll make sure to order extra of whatever we pick so people can buy it directly from him instead of having to drive into the city to find it.” She shrugged. “I mean, it’s a win-win for both of us, you know?”

“I also mentioned a live music night and maybe a poetry night where people could come in and perform,” Robin added, posture straightening as her confidence built seeing that everyone thought it was a good idea. “That’s why I was in the record store today. I was talking to Tom about the local bands he knew of. We want to get the word out but we need to know where to find the people to give the word.”

“Yeah. But we’re thinking of waiting on the live music for a couple months. I want to make sure we have the book club thing down before I try adding in anything else. If that all goes well, then maybe in a couple more months we can phase in poetry night.”

“The Hideout would probably be the best place to find bands,” Jonathan offered as he headed down to join them as well, his arm slipping around Nancy’s waist. “I mean, that’s where Corroded Coffin always played.”

Robin nodded, “I know but we want to host a variety of music. I think The Hideout is pretty heavy stuff. Not that we don’t want that too but it would be nice to do a variety to get more people in.”

Steve snorted, “Yeah. Not everyone wants to listen to a bunch of screaming. Makes my ears want to bleed.”

“You know, Matt works with a guy who’s in a band. They play more acoustic stuff. I could talk to him and see if his friend would want to play at your shop,” you told them.

“That would be great. Like I said, it wouldn't be for a couple months. Probably not until the end of summer but I wouldn’t mind lining up some talent so we have a schedule and are ready to go when it’s time. Plus that would give us some time to figure out logistics.”

“If you’re looking for something Monday through Friday, you could always eventually add a local artisan night too. People who make things could have small displays in your shop and in front of it. From my experience, people love that kind of stuff,” Nancy said. “There’s just something so gratifying about finding that unique something special that you can’t find anywhere else because it’s not mass marketed. You know?”

“That’s not a bad idea, either,” June agreed. “And I love getting to support artists and small business owners. Especially given that I am one.”

“Oh, I wanted to ask, would it be okay if Eli stayed over tonight?” asked Nancy, turning to you. “Jere has been bugging me all day since we were all going to be here together. We rented Space Jam and he refuses to watch it without Eli.”

Steve glanced over at you, eyebrows wiggling suggestively at the thought of the two of you having a night alone. You weren’t used to having Eli gone as much as he was these days. He usually wound up hanging out with one of the gang or having a sleepover at least once a week but you’d learned to appreciate any time you could have alone with Steve.

“Yeah. Absolutely. I’m sure he’d love that.” A soft smile lifted the corners of your mouth as you glanced down the table, watching as the boys took turns shooting straw wrappers at Dustin and Lucas, a skill that Hopper was apparently teaching them. The man was like an over-sized child sometimes.

“Thanks. We’ll bring them both back around lunchtime tomorrow if that’s good for you,” Jonathan said, him and Nancy sharing a smile. “Give you some morning time too, you know, if you need a little extra.”

A couple hours later found you strolling next to June as Steve and Robin argued ahead of you. Everyone had headed home and the four of you decided to walk off some of your food first. You were only able to catch a word here or there of Steve and Robin’s conversation and had no idea what they were arguing about. But considering it sounded playful, you weren't worried. If there was such a thing as platonic soulmates, those two were it. They bickered like siblings but their love for each other knew no bounds. That was obvious to anyone who witnessed their interactions for even a few minutes.

“So, it seems pretty serious with you and Robin,” you observed, hooking your arm through June’s as you walked along the main street.

A smile like a crescent moon curved the raven-haired beauty’s lips, “It is, I think. I’ve been crushing on her for months. I didn’t think she’d ever get the nerve to say anything. I mean, honestly, I wasn’t even sure if she liked me for a while. The girl never made eye contact with me. I knew she was into girls but I just figured maybe I wasn’t her type and she didn't want me to get the wrong impression or something.”

“Oh, she liked you,” you laughed, pausing to look in the window of the general store. Eli had been begging you for the Batcave playset that had come out a couple weeks ago. With his birthday coming up next month, you were going to need to stop in and get it. If you waited too long, it might not be there and you’d never hear the end of it. “She liked you a lot. I just think she was scared to say anything.”

“Obviously. But she’s…I mean, she’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. She’s so kind and thoughtful. I love the way she rambles when she’s nervous. It’s just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. And those little freckles…I just want to kiss each one.” She giggled. “I often do, actually. It’s only been a few weeks but somehow I just know. I know this is going to be something amazing. I know it’s going to last, you know?”

You curved your lower lip in, nodding as your eyes instantly moved to Steve, “I do know.”

“You sure seem to. You and Steve are the freaking cutest. Anyone watching you two can see it’s something special.”

It was special. It was everything. It was more than you could have ever imagined you’d get in life. After losing it all, you’d never expected to find something this magical again, someone this amazing. You knew exactly what June meant because you just knew. You knew that Steve was it for her. You knew six months from now, six years from now, sixty years from now, the universe willing, that he would still be by your side and you would still be just as deliriously happy.

Robin shoved Steve, his hand coming to her face and shoving her back, both of them laughing. You watched the exchange with amusement. You already loved both of them so much. They had seamlessly been sewn into the fabric that was your life. What girl not only got to have the perfect guy but also the amazing people who came along with him? Sometimes it felt like too much, like you couldn’t possibly deserve this much.

“Are you two talking about us back there?” Robin questioned, walking backwards ahead of them.

“Only good things,” June promised.

“My girl's not complaining about how I don’t hang up my towel after a shower?” Steve asked, spinning around to face them. “Or how I leave little hairs in her sink when I shave? Or how she trips over my shoes because I don’t put them by the door where they belong?”

“I can accept all of those things if you can accept how I hog all the blankets at night,” you replied. “Or how I take showers so hot you feel like your skin is melting off. Or how I always take the last of the coffee and don’t make another pot.”

Steve stopped walking, waiting until you were right in front of him. His arms wrapped around you, hand locking at the small of your back, a gentle kiss pressed against your lips. Those lips, so damn soft. The man always had a ChapStick in his pocket. You knew because you’d run it through the washing machine more than once.

“I can accept every single one of those as long as it means I get to have you,” he whispered, his lips pressing softly against your nose.

“Did we just watch them exchange vows?” teased June. “Because those sure sounded like vows.”

“Seriously, when are you two just going to bite the bullet and move in together?” asked Robin.

Steve’s eyes went wide, zeroing in on you, examining you and you knew why. He was waiting. Waiting for you to sink into the dark abyss of an attack the way you had the last time moving in together had been brought up. You hated the way his body tensed, readying himself to try to pull you out of it. You hated that he assumed you would fall apart at the mention of the future with him.

Because you weren't. You weren't panicking. The two of you spent more nights together than not these days. You had toothbrushes at each other’s places. You had a drawer with a spare change of clothes for those last minute decisions to stay over. He had a thermos in your cupboard for his coffee for work when he woke up at your place.

“Robin, we’ve only been dating for a few months,” Steve urged, darting a warning glance at his friend. “We’re taking things slow.”

Robin guffawed, her head thrown back with loud laughter, “Moving slowly? You sleep at each other’s houses every single night.”

“Not every night,” Steve argued.

“Practically,” she stated. “You already act like a married couple. Aly packs your lunches for work for crying out loud.”

You shrugged, “I mean, I’m already packing Eli’s and mine so I just…”

“I don’t care that you pack his lunch. But if you’re packing lunches, taking turns picking up the kids from school, and sleeping next to each other every single night, what’s the difference if you just go from two houses to one?”

“She’s not wrong,” June agreed. “You’re basically living together in two different spaces. Just sell one. It’s definitely more economically logical. You’d only have one house payment.”

“And if you sell one, you’d have a decent chunk of change. You could use it for…oh, I don’t know…a wedding?” Robin’s eyebrows wiggled tauntingly.

“We haven’t…I mean…we’ve talked but not…” you stammered.

Steve’s hands found yours in an attempt to ground you. Oddly, you didn’t need it. This talk about weddings and living together, talk that used to make your heart run a marathon, that used to suck the air right out of your lungs, wasn’t doing anything. You just didn’t know how to respond. After the hospital incident, you hadn’t really discussed it anymore.

It wasn’t like it wasn’t there, a thought that kept jabbing at your brain every now and then. But you’d been happily just going along the way you were. If he had Jere, you would stay at his place so Jere could have his things. If he didn’t, they stayed at your place. Miles had even gotten comfortable at both houses. The dog was at home at your place, leaving dark hairs everywhere that you could never seem to fully vacuum away. Somehow you always went to work covered in him but you didn’t mind.

But did Steve want to take that step? He’d told you that he hadn’t meant it when he said he liked his space. But the man had been living on his own for a while. He didn’t have to be attached to a child seven days a week. If you moved in together, he would have Eli around all the time. Maybe he wanted to be able to head back to his own place, his sanctuary of peace and solitude.

“Okay Robin. Your suggestions and opinions are duly noted,” Steve said, putting an end to the discussion. “Thanks for the input.”

Robin shrugged, grinning, “Just wanted to get my two cents out there. Voice the idea into the world. Because we both know you two will never do it if left to your own devices.”

____________________________________________________________

Steve stroked your hair as you lay with your head on his chest, the two of you relaxed back on a blanket. A cool breeze tickled his skin, crickets creating a soundtrack for your evening as you enjoyed a moment of quiet together in his backyard. Stars twinkled like diamonds in the night sky, the half moon providing what little bit of light you had.

He felt completely at ease with you right here where you belonged, cocooned in his arms, your hearts beating rhythmically against one another, sharing each other’s warmth to ward off the chill of the early summer evening.

He’d been expecting you to go into a full blown anxiety attack earlier when Robin started talking about moving in together. He’d expected another call to 911 when you'd mentioned marriage. But he’d never been so glad to be wrong. You had taken it in stride. You'd stammered a bit, looked a little nervous, but you hadn’t lost control. It was a small step in the right direction.

Steve hadn’t broached the subject of living together since that night when he almost ruined everything. You were spending most nights and mornings together as it was. It wasn’t enough. He didn’t think it would ever be enough but you seemed to be okay with it and so it was what he would make himself okay with for now. He’d made a silent vow not to push you anymore and he’d stuck to it, waiting for you to let him know when you were ready for the next step.

Had he wondered if you never would be? Of course he had. With your past, your struggles with anxiety, it concerned him that this could be what your relationship looked like forever. You frozen in place, terrified to move even an inch in a forward direction. Him never saying anything for fear of pushing you away. The two of you at a standstill, your relationship never evolving, never changing past two people who dated and stayed over at each other’s places.

Steve had thought you'd fallen asleep until you said softly, “Maybe Robin has a point.”

“Hmm?” he questioned, pulling himself from his thoughts.

You lifted your head, placing both hands over his heart before resting your chin on the backs of them. You took his breath away. Every time you looked at him it was like he had forgotten just how beautiful you were and he was stunned all over again. Every damn time. His fingers slid a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I said maybe Robin has a point,” you repeated, turning your face into his touch, your lips pressing a kiss to the center of his palm.

Steve snorted, “Robin’s never right about anything.” At the look you gave him, he relented. “Okay. Fine. Yeah, she has some great ideas about June’s cafe. I think those things will really help bring in the business. We’ve yet to see but maybe she does have a point.”

“Steve, that’s not what I’m talking about.”

His heart stuttered in his chest. You couldn’t be saying what he thought you were saying, right? No. That was just him getting his hopes up far too high. It had only been a little over a month since that night in the hospital. There was no way you were going from barely able to breathe at the idea to suddenly saying you should move in together.

He swallowed, trying to rein in the desire that was raging in him for you to open your mouth and say those words. Because if you didn’t, the disappointment would come crashing down on him like an avalanche, his heart crushed under the weight of hundreds of tons of rock and rejection.

“So, what are you talking about?” he asked, attempting to keep the hope he was feeling out of his voice.

Your head tilted, your mouth curving into a gentle smile, “I mean, we are practically living together as it is. We’re just doing it in two different spaces. It does seem kind of silly, doesn’t it?”

Steve swallowed hard, nodding, barely trusting himself to reply with more than that. He wanted to grab onto you, pull you into him, kiss you breathless, and beg you to move in together. To choose a place. He didn’t care which. If you wanted to keep your place, that was fine with him. He just wanted you to be in his life, all of it, every day for forever.

“I understand if you’re not ready. I know you’ve probably gotten used to having your own space. I’m sure it’s nice to come home to a quiet house on the days when Jeremiah is with Nancy and Jonathan. So, I’m not pressuring you or anything. I’m just saying maybe it’s something to think about?”

He nodded. Emotion was clogging his throat. He knew he needed to say something. He needed to respond to you but he couldn’t seem to get sound past the lump in his esophagus.

You blinked quickly, burying your head against his chest again as you muttered softly, “Anyway, just a thought. No big deal. I wasn’t saying we have to do it now.”

Jesus Christ, he chastised himself. Open your mouth. Say something. His arms wound around you tighter. Those beautiful eyes, eyes he hoped he was lucky enough to look into for the rest of his life, opened wide. He traced the back of his hand over the soft skin of your cheek.

“Move in with me,” he urged. “Or I’ll move in with you. I don’t care. But let’s move in together.”

Those perfectly pink lips arced up on both sides, “Really?”

“Yes, really. Invade all of my space. I told you, I don’t want space. I don’t want quiet. I don’t want alone. I just want you. You and Eli and Jeremiah. I want you to fill up all the space until there’s none left.”

“Are you sure? You’re not just saying that?”

“Honey, I’ve never been more sure of anything than I am of you,” he said. “I know I want you forever. I know you’re it for me. I don’t need to wait and see. I don’t need time to figure anything out. I’ve known from the moment I saw your face that you were going to be something special in my life. And you are. I want you and everything that comes with you.” He cradled your face in his palms. “I want this face to be the first thing and the last thing I see every day.”

Tears sparkled in your eyes under the light of the moon. “Me too. Maybe it’s quick but I don’t care. I thought I needed to move slowly. I thought I would need time to know if this was right but I don’t. I feel it, so deeply in my bones. You’re right. This is right. I was worried about Eli but I don’t have to be because I am certain. I love you and so does he. It won’t matter if we decide today or six months from now. I will be completely certain it’s you.”

“So, your place or mine?” he asked.

“I…” You paused, inhaling sharply.

“It’s okay if you want to keep your house, honey. My house is just a house. Your house holds a lot of memories for you. I know that. I truly don’t care where I live as long as you and the boys are there.”

“No. I mean…I don’t think I want to keep the house. That house is full of memories but they’re memories from a different life. I want to start fresh. I want to build new memories with you. I don’t need the house to remember. Those memories will always be with me but I’m tired of living with a ghost and that’s what it feels like there. I mean, I should probably talk to Eli about it and see how he feels. But what would you think about buying a new house? Something we choose together? Something where we can create our own history and stories?”

“I think that sounds perfect.”

And it did. A whole new space where you could choose things together. You could slowly make it your own. A house that you would turn into a home by filling it with love and a shared history. A place where you could raise your boys together and then a space for just the two of you when the boys were grown and out creating their own futures. Four walls that would contain all the memories of your years, the happy and the sad, that you would look back on years down the road.

“I love you,” you whispered, beaming from ear to ear.

“I love you, too. God, I love you so much.”

You pushed yourself up, resting both knees on either side of his hips, straddling him under the stars in his backyard. Miles lifted his head from where he lay observing on the deck and Steve raised his hand, his command for stay. The dog released a heavy sigh but dropped his big head back down on his paws.

“You are everything I never thought I could have.” Whispered words as your mouth, hot and sweet, covered his, your tongue teasing, flicking and brushing over his lips, teeth, and tongue. “You are a damn dream, Steve Harrington and I hope I never wake up.”

Your words, transmitted on your breath from your mouth to his, traveled throughout, spreading, inhabiting every single space. His hands ran over your body, grabbing and squeezing, as he made a vow to himself to keep you feeling like that. To ensure you never woke up, never looked around and doubted your choice right here on this blanket, never was disappointed to find the dream wasn’t your reality.

You ground your hips over him and hissed at the feel of rock hard denim pressing over your clit. One hand slid up your shirt, taking your breast in his palm, while the other slid underneath your skirt, grabbing a handful of your ass. You rocked harder against him, whimpering when he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth between kisses.

Steve sunk into your mouth, taking the kiss even deeper, his tongue exploring, gliding and dancing over yours. His hand on your ass grabbed onto the lacy fabric covering your hip, his fingers wrapping around it, wanting to tear it off of you and bury himself to the hilt right now.

“Should we…?” you tried but gasped when he pinched your nipple, rolling the pert little bud between his thumb and forefinger. “Should we go inside?”

“No, honey…can’t wait…wanna fuck you right here…under the stars…” he mumbled against your skin, sucking and nibbling a path up your neck to your chin. “Wanna have you under me…take you in the moonlight…”

A squeak escaped you when his arms came around your waist, flipping you to your back beneath him. His fists came down on either side of your head, taking in the sight of your wide eyes, parted lips, flushed skin.

“Fuck, you’re so damn beautiful,” he growled, his lips crashing down over yours again as your fingers dove into his hair, your legs locking around his waist as your heat sought out the friction of him again.

“But neighbors,” you protested weakly when his fingers wrapped around the edge of your panties, yanking them down and away, tossing them carelessly somewhere in the yard. “What if someone sees?”

“No one’s gonna see,” he assured you, his lips traveling down your body, lifting your shirt to press open mouthed kisses over the soft skin of your stomach. “Maybe Miles, but he won’t tell anybody. He’s good at keeping secrets.”

You giggled at that, the sound filling his ears, delighting his senses. It was one of his favorite sounds in the world, maybe his most favorite. It was a sound he wanted to cause you to make every single day but it’s not the sound he wanted right now.

Sliding down the blanket, he slipped his head under your skirt, taking your pussy in his mouth, and that’s when he got the sound he wanted. You choked out his name when he sucked on your clit like a throat lozenge. You writhed, whimpered, when he licked you from top to bottom, swirling his tongue over you teasingly.

The taste of you made him feel drunk, his head fuzzy in that delicious way when the world just goes soft. He wrapped his arms around each of your thighs, holding you in place, as he feasted on you. Your back arched, fingers tangling in his hair, as he flicked his tongue over your clit.

“Jesus, Steve,” you groaned, your hips rocking against his face, seeking sweet release.

Fuck, he would never get enough of you. Your taste. Your scent. Your sounds. The way you felt. He could spend the rest of his life buried between your thighs happily and it still wouldn’t be enough.

You were panting softly above him, your chest rising and falling rapidly. Your thighs trembled around his head and he knew you were close to coming undone. Steve wrapped his mouth around your clit and your entire body froze as you cried out his name loudly. He gently lapped at your sweet center, not stopping until he felt you relax beneath him.

“Steve…” Your voice was raspy with lust, your fingers threading through his hair, leading him up your body. He stared down at you, the way your skin glistened under the faint light of the moon, your eyes heavy, your lips curled in a satisfied smile. “I think the neighbors might have heard me.”

He grinned, pressing his forehead to yours, “Let them. Then they all know you’re mine.”

“I am, you know? Yours. Just yours,” you whispered, bringing his mouth to yours again, kissing him deeply.

Those words did something to him, scratching an itch in his brain he hadn’t even known was there before this woman came into his life. Steve worked at his belt, undoing his jeans and kicking them down his legs, needing to be inside of you.

Nestling himself between your legs, he took his cock in his hand, sliding the tip over your clit and through your folds, teasing. You moaned, low and deep, your eyes fluttering as he slipped just the tip in before bringing it back out to run through your slick tauntingly. Your feet slid over his calves, your hands slipping under his shirt, nails running over the skin of his back.

“Steve…stop teasing…” you pleaded.

“Lift up your shirt for me, honey,” Steve told her. “I want to see all of you while I fuck you.”

You obeyed, tugging your shirt up and over your head, leaving you lying beneath him in nothing but your little black skirt and a scrap of lacy pink fabric that was so sheer he could see your nipples, dark pink and hard. He couldn’t take it anymore, his hand grabbing onto your hip as he thrust inside of you, burying himself in your heat.

“Oh fuck, yes…Steve…” you groaned, your nails digging into his flesh.

Jesus, you felt so damn good. He thrust again, sinking even deeper into you if that was possible, both of you moaning. Your legs locked around him, your bodies melding together until he could barely pull out. His hips rocked into you, small movements that kept him sheathed the whole time, his cock dragging over your walls.

“I love you…Jesus Christ, honey…I love you…so fucking good…you feel so fucking good,” he grunted, rutting against you, chasing his own high as he felt you already starting to tremble beneath him again.

“Love…you…” you panted, fingers gripping his shoulders, your mouth catching his for a moment before you broke off, head dropping back. “Don’t stop…please don’t stop…oh god…Steve…right there…I’m gonna…”

His head fell back, riding it out as your pussy clenched down around him, clinging to him as you rode out the wave. He was almost hyperventilating as he thrust into you hard, fingertips digging into the flesh of your hips, his eyes squeezing shut as his own orgasm crashed down over him with force, spilling into you.

His cock throbbed within you as your pussy pulsed around him. He dropped down, his elbows on either side of your head, his hands cupping your cheeks. You looked like a fucking vision glowing and flushed in the subtle light of the moon above them. Your hand came to his cheek, smiling up at him, looking as satisfied as he does after he’s power washed every damn thing outside of his house.

“You’re mine, huh? Just mine?” he teased with a smirk, thumb coasting over the curve of your cheekbone.

You turned into his touch, pulling the tip of his thumb between your lips, “For as long as you want me to be.”

“Careful what you wish for, honey because that’s a long time. I’m thinking forever.”

“Works for me,” you beamed, grabbing a fistful of his shirt, pulling his lips down to yours.

Chapter 20

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Thanks so much for taking the time to read my little story! 😊 And replies and reblogs are always appreciated if you enjoy it. I love to hear what you think! ❤️❤️❤️ Only one more chapter to go and then this story will come to an end.

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pokemon-with-hats · 4 months

Text

I do apologize for sort of half disappearing the last few months. I was super invested in getting the "favorite pokemon" poll series done, and once that finished i more or less lost motivation to do anything pokemon related - it didn't help that my semester was surprisingly busy, plus I decided I wanted to apply for phd programs, which further compounded the stress I was feeling. I ended up sort of dropping side projects like this one, and needed time to decompress before thinking of getting back into them. And now that I've spent the last week doing not much more than getting high, playing video games, listening to records, and hanging out with my cat, I think I can say I've successfully decompressed.

I am currently planning on returning to daily edits starting in January. I said in my announcement a few days ago that I was going to open my inbox for suggestions, but I think I'm going to take the first week of January to purely make edits for my sake - no prompts, no suggestions, just whatever comes to me in the moment. After that, I'll open up the inbox and it'll hopefully be back to normal operations here at pokemon hyphen with hyphen hats dot tumblr dot com.

I also reserve the right to cut posting back to just doing 3 edits a week, depending on how busy this next semester goes. It's my last one before I graduate with my masters, so it may get kind of chaotic on me.

I hope everyone is having a good holiday season, and spending it with people they care about. I have 3 more old requests to get through, so expect those to get posted over the last few days of December.

#announcement post

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hyperfixiation-station · 3 months

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I really like digging into details, and I was thinking that maybe you can make a list of hcs of Simon in a fight? Don’t spare your words I really think it’s interest your view of him 🥰

CW: Mentions of abuse, sa, addiction, canon typical violence So I wasn’t 100% what you were looking for so I decided to go for both him fighting in a professional setting (ie. training/sparring), and also in public(ie. bar fights). Also, this got way longer than I intended so sorry about that. I hope you like it :)) Also sorry for how aggressive this starts out lol And, as always, this is not edited so please let me know if there are any mistakes :3

First off, I do not agree with the whole oH he’S iN tHe miLiTarY, he HaS tO kEeP hIs CoOl sentiment. This is not a true statement, for anyone in the military.(I am willing to explain this if anyone has questions) Ghost isn’t going to get kicked out because he has anger issues. Not to mention that he is a part of a highly specialized group, the rules are much more lax. However he doesn’t really need to worry about it, because he doesn't go around picking fights.

Like I said in my previous post, he spent his childhood being abused, he does not take pleasure in physically hurting those weaker than him. He would not hurt new recruits, civilians, or his squadmates. In fact, the only times he will physically fight people outside of work is if they start it. (ie. people threatening him and his, men who won’t leave women alone at bars, and one time a guy he saw kicking a dog)

Now don’t get me wrong, he has major anger issues, but he has a handle on them, for the most part. He is not going to fight a recruit because they are mouthing off. He might pit them against Gaz to humble them a bit, but again, he does not take pleasure in hurting those weaker than him.

In a fight, he is ruthless and efficient. It's rare for him to draw out a fight, and only when he is trying to make the target suffer.

He uses his height and muscle mass against his opponents, 9/10 being able to overpower them with sheer force.

He loves knives, collects them actually. The action of slamming a blade up to the hilt in someone's neck is muscle memory for him.

He taunts his opponents, throwing them off their game by lashing out at their insecurities. (Or telling really bad jokes if he's sparring with Soap)

He doesn't like fighting, but he knows he can never stop. Since the moment he was born he's been fighting. It's in his blood and he knows it. The euphoria he feels when he leaves the battlefield or the ring scares him. He's worried that one day he is going to take his bloodlust home.

Okay now onto professional/work-endorsed fight hc’s

This man is not afraid to throw hands. He is 6’2 and 220 pounds of pure muscle. In hand-to-hand combat, he could take pretty much anyone on and win, and everybody knows it.(Think Prison Break. Ghost went out with a knife and a pistol and took out a buttload of Shadows with just Soap guiding him from the cameras.) Any mission that is Close Quarters Combat, Ghost is sent in.

He has fought a recruit once. It took him about 10 seconds to pin the kid, and another 10 seconds for him to tell Price he was never training a recruit like that again. (tbh I don’t think that the 141 trains new recruits, but for the sake of getting my point across I am going to hc it.)

Soap and Price are the only ones he is willing to spar with. While Soap is much shorter, he has muscle that rivals Ghost’s and can hold his own pretty well. Gaz asked to spar once but Ghost refused. Although Gaz is close to him in height, he is far too skinny for Ghost to feel okay with fighting.

Soap is agile and intelligent, landing heavy and precise blows before darting out of reach, but is too hot-headed and doesn’t think through his movements half-the time. Ghost is good at reading people, and he knows when to bait Soap and tire him out, and when he needs to take control of the situation.

Ghost studies Soap’s (or any of his opponents really) body with a warrior's mind. In training, when they are clad in gym shorts and a T-shirt, he can tell which way the Scotsman is going to lunge just based on the way his muscles tense. In the field it is a bit harder, his targets usually clad from head to toe, hiding and protecting their bodies, but there are still signs. Just a twitch of the eye or a shift in weight are enough to give him the upper hand. As any child that is a product of a dysfunctional home can attest, he grew up watching these signs in his father, it wasn't too hard to translate those survival skills from childhood to military life.

If they end up training recruits, Price will have them line up and watch as Soap and Ghost go at it. Ghost enjoys that fear in their eyes when he grabs Johnny's wrist and yanks down, uses his free hand to push the opposite shoulder back, and sweeps his legs out from under him all in one swift move. The collective oooooh from the greenies, and the sight of Soap gasping for breath makes him almost smile. He actually does smile when he watches Soap pull it on Gaz a week later. (It takes Soap exactly 3 tries to figure out how to avoid Ghost when he tries to pull it, and another 3 for him to try it on Gaz and get it right).

Price, and eventually Soap, can always tell when Ghost needs an outlet for his pent-up anger. When he gets mouthy one of them will take him to the mats and spar until they’re both exhausted and soaked in sweat.

In the field it is a lot less fun and games. There is no subduing or tap outs, it is kill or be killed. Gaz understands why Ghost refuses to spar with him after he’s sent on a mission with him and watches in almost awe as the man lives up to his legend and comes out victorious in a 4v1. Banged up and in need of medical care, but victorious.

Now onto the public

Honestly I don’t think adult Ghost gets into too many fights outside of work. Teen Ghost got into fights all the time, but adult Ghost has a better handle. However when he does get into a fight, it’s usually his fault, because he provoked the person into swinging. He has a way with words, a terrifying ability to pick out a person's insecurities and use them against them. He rips into people's emotions, and when most of the public places he frequents are bars, his targets are easily riled up. He doesn’t necessarily go looking for fights, he just enjoys pissing people off.

Like I’ve said before, Ghost is not a heavy drinker. He was surrounded by addicts his whole life, he knows what alcohol and drugs can do to a person. He would never drink himself to the point of oblivion. He may have a drink or two when he and Johnny go out to the bar, might even let himself get a little tipsy if the squad is celebrating something huge, but he never gets drunk to the point where he can’t function. Because of this, any fight he gets into in a bar is resolved within seconds. One solid punch to the jaw, and the drunken asshole pawing at some young girl drops to the floor. A person who can’t even stand up straight has no chance against a member of Special Forces.

He doesn’t take cheap shots. He’s not gonna kick a guy when they’re down. Once his opponent hits the ground, he stops. He very rarely loses control and just keeps going.

He has been in a couple of bar fights, one time he took a bottle of alcohol to the head and had a hard time trying to explain to Price why he was given 15 stitches and a week's medical leave.(Not that he took it)

Sorry there's not a lot for this one. I just don’t see adult Simon getting into that many unwarranted fights. He will fuck a guy up if he’s harassing you, or any woman for that matter, he’ll step in if someone gets too rowdy at the bar, if they swing he’ll swing back, and he does not respond to threats against him and his very well, but things like that really don’t happen to often in his way of life.

Fight club(sorry I just keep going 😅😭)

This is a bit ooc, but I thought it was fun nonetheless

Soap takes him to a fight club once, just to watch, but Ghost is enthralled. Soap comes back from getting pretzels to an empty bench. He panics for a second before his gaze moves to the ring, where Ghost stands in a t-shirt and shorts, a plain balaclava hiding his face. Soap makes a lot of money that night.

Ghost finds a new pass-time in this ‘fight-club’ that Soap showed him. It’s a great way to release pent-up energy when he is on leave, and he always leaves feeling relaxed and less volatile.

When the memories and nightmares get too much for him, he goes and pounds it out in the ring. He finds a man of his size and skill, and they become sparring partners almost every time.. Despite the broken ribs, he leaves feelings much happier. Price, however, is not when he hears that Ghost will be out of commission for at least a month.

He goes by the nickname Reaper. (He let Soap pick it out, and regrets that decision deeply)

He enjoys the fight club almost more than he enjoys sparring with Soap. He enjoys being able to fight for fun rather than survival. The anonymity he’s allowed and the money that comes from winning is a nice bonus.

He still keeps to himself, declining his opponents/partners attempts to get a phone number or offers to grab a drink.

If he’s married, you notice that he’s not quite as harsh when he gets back from deployments as he used to be. Though you don’t like his bruised knuckles and bloody noses, if this is what helps him process his trauma then so be it.

He takes you sometimes, to watch. You like watching him win, like the way the clothes cling to his muscled frame, but the sight of his face getting punched in is one you'd rather never see again.

They offer self-defense classes, and he signs you up. He had already taught you some self-defense tips, where to aim and how to hit in the even of an emergency, but he'd rather you have someone to practice with so you know what to do.

Extra(aka sad stuff)

I know that Ghost is not superhuman or immortal, but this man is a beast. He survived an abusive childhood, being kidnapped, tortured, assaulted, and the massacre of his whole family. He can fight through incredible amounts of pain, and is ruthless and blood thirsty. In a life or death situation, all morals go out the window, and he will do what it takes to survive. He’s not proud of it.

When he holds his newborn son for the first time he almost panics. The fragile baby body feels wrong in his scarred, war-torn hands. He sits on the bed for a long time after you take the baby to put him down, just staring at his hands. His fingers curl and uncurl in his palm as he tries to get the image of crushing his baby's fragile skull like he's crushed the throats of his enemies out of his head. It takes hours for the feeling of blood to fade from his skin.

Anywayyys, I hope this is what you were looking for, and again, sorry for the length 😅 Let me know what you think and/or if you want more headcannons in the future :))

#sorry this is just me rambling #simon ghost riley #cod fanfic #ghost x reader #no beta we die like men #ghost fanfiction #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #cod #cod x reader #ghost headcanons #cod headcanons #I don't even know if there is a point to half of these lol #angst

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faust-the-enjoyer · 2 months

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@gluttonybiscuits asked: Please omg I am STARVING for more dbf!Keegan and I wish I could feed myself but I'm sjfbehfhdhd y'know? 💀💀 Anyway I have the idea of dbf!Keegan with an afab!reader where Keegan didn't know our dad has a kid cuz he wants to keep his work and personal life separate. So Keegan meets reader as an adult. And I like to think when he first sees them, he's like "double smash" but his brain and dick are fighting with each other cuz that's his best friend's kid 😩🖤

Double Smash

Tags: afab!reader, fem!reader, reader is 21+, age gap, guilt, allusions to male masturbation.

Warnings: MDNI.

A/n:....I'm SO SORRY this took like 2 or 3 months.....I was really busy because of school and i wanted to write this but didn't wanna half-ass it😭 but also tumbler made an update where I can't edit saved asks😀 pls to the original asker know that you can request a part 2 to this if you want bc I didn't know how to end it!

- divider by (benkeibear)!

It was just another day on base for the two, he'd always grab some coffee for himself and for your dad when he went into his office, always chatting with him. They've grown to have a close companionship from working together and protecting each other over the years. Your father would always reveal things about himself and only himself, never talking about his family when he's working. Keegan would be the same, always quiet and secretive.

It was during a holiday that you father asked him to come over so he could show him some of his vinyl record collection and have dinner with the family. He was welcomed through the door by your father as you just came down the steps of the stairs. "This is my best buddy, Keegan." your father introduces him to you proudly with a carefree smile, he turns to him, "Keegan, this is my daughter.". his eyes linger on your face as he extends his hand to you to shake it, "Pleasure meeting you.", and as you introduce yourself and shake his hand, you smile as you can't help but notice his pretty blue eyes trail down to your lips.

After a bit of chatting with the two in the living room and hearing your father's endless stories about the two's missions, you get up. "I'll go get dinner ready.", your father excuses himself as he gets off of the couch as well, "I'm going to the bathroom, Keegan, would you mind helping her set the table?", and he didn't even wait for answer, he just left for the bathroom. Keegan lets out a breath as he gets up from the couch, following you to the kitchen.

As he helps you with dinner and the table, he puts dishes in their distinguished spots on the table while looking at you. "You know I...never heard your dad talk about you..." he says calmly, his eyes slowly going over your facial features, he really hopes he didn't understand what he said in a different way. "He doesn't like talking about me when it comes to work, you know, for my safety and what not." He looks away while setting the utensils and cutlery down, "Yeah, I get it.", he looks over at you as you pull a dish out from the oven, his eyes trailing from your gloved hands, to your back, to your hips, to your backside. He could feel his stomach twist and turn whenever he heard your voice, and he couldn't help but let his eyes linger on your body.

He spent the night eating dinner with you two and afterwards your father showed him that vinyl record collection he's been itching to talk about and show off. Your father had kept bringing him back into the house over and over again, to watch the soccer game, to have a drink, to have dinner, to watch a movie, and your father always encouraged you to join, which you gladly agreed to, much to Keegan's delight, prompting you to spend more time with him, and after the holiday was over, they had to go back to base. A new issue arose in Keegan's life; you. As the days went on after not seeing you for a while he couldn't stop thinking about you, the way he'd respond slower when people talked to him on base, and the number of condoms that were thrown in his trash can were all evident of your effect on him, but there was one issue: your father. What would he say to Keegan, his comrade and his best friend of years if he knew he wanted to get with his daughter? What would he do to him? Would he just throw all of those years and memories in the trash? Would he direct his anger at you instead? He didn't know, he couldn't calculate all of the reactions your father might have if he found it, and it made him feel like he was at his wits' end whenever he sat down with him, it made him feel guilty and disgusting.

#faust speaks #cod x reader #cod keegan #keegan p russ #keegan p russ x reader #keegan russ x reader #keegan russ

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baoshan-sanren · 11 months

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best cdramas I’ve watched since the last one of these posts in 2023 (and some I’m still looking forward to seeing)

A League of Nobleman (watch on WeTV VIP | watch on AppleTV | watch on Viki | watch on bilibili | watch on YouTube) Adapted from the novel "The Mystery of Zhang Guo" (张公案) by Da Feng Gua Guo (大风刮过) starring Jing BoRan, Song WeiLong, Hong Yao, Guo Cheng and Wang Duo. Definitely gay, but in like a very focused, we-have-a-mystery-to-solve way. Loved the acting and the plot; cannot believe people actually gave Song Weilong shit for his acting in this drama. He was aMAzing. The downside is that the editing grew progressively sloppier as the drama progressed, and although majority of the visuals were very satisfying, I never realized how crappy the quality of the light was until I tried gifing some of the scenes. The upside is Jing BoRan holding kittens. Enough Said. 7/10

The Blood of Youth (watch on Viki | watch on YouTube) Adapted from the novel "Shao Nian Ge Xing" (少年歌行) by Zhou Mu Nan (周木楠) starring Li HongYi, Liu XueYi and Ao RuiPeng. Love this goddamn drama. I adopted the entire cast within the first 3 episodes and then I spent the next 37 terrified that half of them would get killed off. There’s def some major character death in this drama my chickens, so keep that in mind (and not a canonical death either, from what I understand). Anyway, this is my fave genre by far so I’m never really picky, but this drama is exhilarating and gorgeous from beginning to end. Highly recommend. 9/10

New Life Begins (watch on iQIYI | watch on Viki | watch on YouTube) Adapted from the web novel "Qing Chuan Ri Chang" (清穿日常) by Duo Mu Mu Duo (多木木多) starring Bai JingTing and Tian XiWei. Just sweet and fluffy. The plot is easy and devoid of complexities, but very satisfying nonetheless. The acting is definitely on another level. The entire cast has bonkers chemistry, and it’s about time someone made good use of Bai Jingting’s comedy potential. One of the top 5 easy viewing dramas on my rewatch list. 8/10

The Legendary Life of Queen Lau (watch on Viki | watch on YouTube) Adapted from the web novel "Huang Hou Liu Hei Pang" (皇后刘黑胖) by Ge Yang (戈鞅) starring Li JiaQi and Li HongYi. Loved this. Although it doesn’t shy away from difficult subjects, this is basically a comedy from beginning to end. Not gonna lie, I mainly gave this a go for Li Hongyi, but it’s hard to even notice him when Li Jiaqi is in the room. There’s no shame in being overshadowed by superior talent :) 7/10

(yeah, after all this, I rewatched Nirvana In Fire again)

Under the Microscope (watch on Apple TV | watch on Bilibili | watch on iQIYI VIP | watch on Viki) Adapted from the novel "Xian Wei Jing Xia De Da Ming" (显微镜下的大明) by Ma Bo Yong (马伯庸) starring Zhang RuoYun and Wang Yang. Continuously impressed by Zhang RuoYun’s skills. This drama is 90% grit and tension. Drool-worthy visuals. Interesting plot. Sound mixing that gives me a Mo Ran style boner. Make your friends watch it and they will hate you. 9/10

Till The End of The Moon (watch on YouTube | watch on Apple TV | watch on Viki) Adapted from the web novel "Hei Yue Guang Na Wen BE Ju Ben" (黑月光拿稳BE剧本) by Teng Luo Wei Zhi (藤萝为枝). Starring Luo Yunxi and Bai Lu. This was so breathtakingly gorgeous. The chemistry between the actors, the visuals, the special effects, the costumes, everything is stunning in this drama. The romance is by no means original, but still manages to draw you in. Absolutely worth watching at least once. 8/10

Still waiting on:

Immortality - based on danmei novel The Husky and His White Cat Shizun by 肉包不吃肉 starring Chen Feiyu and Luo Yunxi (you can think I’m a clown but you’d be wrong bc I’m a wholeass circus)

Winner Is King - based on the danmei novel Sha Po Lang by Priest starring Tan Jianci and Chen Zheyuan

Step By Step Lotus - based on historical novel Return to Ming Dynasty as Prince by 月关 starring Zhang Binbin and Luo Yunxi

Eternal Faith - based on danmei novel Heaven Official’s Blessing by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu starring Zhai Xiaowen and Zhang Linghe

Joy Of Life Season 2 - based on wuxia novel of the same name by 猫腻 starring Zhang Ruoyun and Li Qin

Story of Kunning Palace - based on the novel 坤宁 by 时镜 starring Bai Lu and Zhang LingHe

Flying Phoenix - based on danmei novel of the same name by 風弄 starring Dai Jingyao and Shu Yaxin

The Story of the Bat - based on danmei novel Bat by Feng Nong starring Mao Zijun and Zhang Yao

The Longest Promise - based on xianxia novel Zhu Yan by 沧月 starring Xiao Zhan, Ren Min, and Zhang Yunlong

Mysterious Lotus Casebook - based on wuxia novel 吉祥纹莲花楼 by Teng Ping 藤萍 starring Cheng Yi and Zeng ShunXi

Follow Your Heart - historical drama starring Song Yi and Luo Yunxi

The Thirteen-Hongs in Canton - historical drama starring Zhu Yawen and Yu Haoming

White Cat Legend - based on manhua of the same name starring Ding Yuxi and Zhou Qi

#cdrama #cdrama recs #long post #m

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spenzitz · 1 year

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VALENTINE'S DAY (chuya edition)

chuya takes valentine's day very seriously. chuya x gn!reader, established relationship, chuya spoils reader,

a/n ~ my first time writing for chuya i'm so sorry... words ~ 1.8k second post for my valentine's day collection ( ๑>ᴗ<๑ )

chuya absolutely loves valentine's day. he loves having any excuse to spoil you rotten. by the time february 1st rolls around, he already has everything planned and dinner reserved at 3 restaurants in case anything were to go wrong.

unfortunately for him, his schedule as a mafia executive stops him from being able to spend the whole day with you. but don't worry, he'll more than makeup for it this evening.

9 am, february 14th, you find yourself strolling through port mafia hq, on your way to meet up with the black lizard for the day. seemingly by coincidence, you run into your lovely boyfriend, chuya. well... it's more that he runs into you.

"y/n! you're not even gonna say hello?" you hear his iconic, smug voice call out from behind you. you must have walked right past him. you turn around and scan your eyes through the crowd of nameless pawns until your eyes land on that stupid fucking hat. everyone moves aside as chuya makes his way to you, making you aware of all the eyes staring directly at you and him as he comes closer.

"hello," you say, giggling, unable to contain your wide smile. he comes much closer than he should need to and grabs your right hand, encasing it with both of his. "happy valentine's day, love." he says, barely audible, just loud enough for you to hear it.

chuya has this way of looking at you that makes you feel like you're the finest treasure in yokohama. you look away from him, still smiling uncontrollably, and start pulling on your clothes with your left hand. the butterflies he gives you, doing no favors to help your nerves.

most people have looked away by now, taking chuya's low tone as a sign of desired privacy. the exception, of course, is the black lizard who has all huddled together, everyone either cooing or scoffing at their boss's public display.

"yes, well, happy valentine's day, chuya..." you say, whispering. he finds it cute how bashful you are even after being with him for so long. you still have pride, he supposes.

"i've gotta run, and i think you do too..." he starts, nodding at your team, staring at the two of you. you turn to face them and feel the blood rush to your face upon seeing their mixed reactions, immediately looking back at chuya. "but i'll pick you up tonight at 6, how's that sound?" he asks, but it's not really a question, so you don't answer. you simply nod your head and look down at your hand as he removes one of his.

"see ya later, hun," he adds as he brings your hand up to his mouth and kisses it. he's still smiling as he turns around and walks away, leaving you dizzy, and light-headed like you've worked a night shift. every moment with him feel like a fantasy.

a fantasy that is swiftly broken by the sound of tachihara's boyish voice. "you done swooning over mr. nakahara, or should we give you more time?" the thought of all your closest colleges watching that unfold makes you cringe. you roll your eyes and turn around, facing them all, just watching you.

"yeah, yeah, i'm ready. let's get on with it." today was going to be a long day.

you all get done for the day around 4:30. that leaves you with an hour and a half to get ready. around an hour of that time is spent on and off scrolling on your phone, and picking out what to wear. after much deliberation you go with red accents, his favorite. the last thirty minutes are spent scrambling to take a shower and get ready.

you suppose you look alright, you conclude as you look in the full-length mirror. you start fidgeting with your clothes when you hear your doorbell ring through your flat. you rush to put on your shoes and turn out the lights as you make your way to the door.

"hey!" you say, leaning on the door, cramming your shoe onto your foot. when you get your shoe on, you finally look at him, regaining your balance. he has on his nicest suit, and, no doubt, shoes. he's brought his hat to his chest as he looks at you with a smug grin and pure adoration.

"well, you clean up nice, don't ya, hun?" you chuckle as you shuffle out your door, locking it behind you. "and i suppose the same can be said for you, executive." you can't help but smile back at him.

putting his hat back on, he holds out his arm as you walk side by side. you instinctually loop your arm through his. it just feels like home. he likes how possessive you seem when you grip his arm as if it belongs to you. it does, he thinks. he belongs to you.

he walks you down to the street side where a car is waiting for you and him. a port mafia driver, no doubt. chuya strides ahead of you and opens the car door. "no bike?" you ask, somewhat relieved as you climb in the car.

chuya steps in behind you, "yeah, i know how nervous you get when i'm riding after dark." he says, laughing a little as he closes the car door. you smile and let out a sigh. in this moment, you are content.

the car starts moving, and he grabs your hand absentmindedly, playing with your fingers as he stares out the window, looking at nothing in particular. his nerves must finally be kicking in.

you notice his sudden fidgeting, but you know if you ask now, in front of the driver, he'll deny it. "so, where are we going?" you ask, squeezing his hand to grab his attention. he looks at you and just smirks. "you know what?" he starts, looking back out the window. "i think i'll let it be a surprise." he chuckles as you groan, impatiently wondering where he was taking you.

you don't have to wait long as it's barely a 5-minute drive to your destination. the driver pulls up to the front of a restaurant, and the valet opens chuya's door. once chuya is out, he ducks down and extends his hand to you, helping you out of the car.

when you get out of the car and see the entrance, it seems... familiar? you've definitely been here before, you think. chuya takes your hand and leads you through the glass doors held open by employees.

as chuya speaks to the hostess, you observe the beautiful chandeliers and baby grand piano accompanied by a live band playing smooth jazz. it hits you.

chuya is still holding your hand as he tugs you along, following the hostess to your table. "oh my god, chu!" you say, trying to keep your voice down through your excitement. "we had our first date here!"

"took you long enough," he says, glancing back at you and rolling his eyes with a smile.

the hostess leads you out to a table on the balcony, and chuya pulls out your chair for you. as you both sit down and look at the menu, you take in how serene it is outside. everyone seated on the balcony is speaking in a low voice, and you can still hear the soft music playing over idle chatter from inside.

dinner goes well as you both order steaks (chuya's favorite) and slowly nurse some red wine. he tells you about his day, annoyed by all his executive responsibilities. you tell him about how busy you were, and how the black lizard always left you tired and feeling like just another cog in the port mafia machine. a glorified pawn. you start to think how chuya is probably the biggest reason you stay anyway. although you admit, the pay is pretty good, but the work is hard.

your conversation pauses as the waiter comes up and asks if you two would like anything else. you expect chuya to say, "no, we're all done." as he always does. but tonight, chuya actually adds dessert to your order. a slice of cheesecake to share between the two of you. odd, you think. but, mayb chuya was left hungry from his meal, it wouldn't be the first time.

as you continue your conversation, droning on and on about your busy day, you notice chuya is fidgeting again, bouncing his leg under the table, thrumming his fingers. you know he's listening, but he's looking off into the background of the city lights. there's something bothering him. maybe something about work he can't tell you about?

you decide to keep talking, but you grab his hands with yours, grounding him. he looks up at you. now, he's definitely not listening to a word you say. just watching you with a dumb, probably tipsy smile. he can do it, he tells himself.

after a bit, the cheesecake comes, looking amazing. you suddenly feel you have all the room in the world for dessert as you quickly grab your fork and go to take a piece of it. however, before you can, chuya pulls the plate towards him, making you miss it entirely. you look up at him, confused and kinda annoyed.

"actually," he starts, smirking at you with a tint of pink on his face. "i thought we could have this to celebrate," he says.

"celebrate... what?" you ask, slightly scared you missed some big win of his. he sees the panic on your face and decides not to tease you. he stands up from his seat and places his hat on the table.

"well.... hopefully..." he murmurs as he stands beside the table, facing you. he slowly reaches into his pocket and takes out a little velvet box. your eyes widen as he gets on one knee and opens the box, looking up at you.

"our engagement?" he bites the inside of his lip, smiling at you. the whole balcony is silent as everyone watches you and him. your eyes dart around, from his face to the classy ring on display in front of you.

you honestly have no idea what to say. you sit there for a moment before getting out of your chair to kneel down with him. you bring both your hands up to cradle his face and lightly caress his cheek with your thumb. you nod your head, and the whole balcony erupts into quiet applause.

you pull him towards you and kiss him, long and hard. you can still taste the wine even on his lips, plain as day. you pull back only to drop your hands to his shoulders and embrace him. you hold him. he's not shaking anymore. in this moment, he's content.

"is that a yes?" he whispers, still cocky as ever.

you let him slip the ring onto your finger and sigh, gazing at it.

"i suppose it is."

god i want chuya to be my fiancé. fiancé chuya headcanons anyone? (-_-)ゞ

masterlist

requests are open!

#chuya x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #chuuya x you

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astxrwar · 3 months

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drops of blood [1/4]

SYNOPSIS: Bucky Barnes has some wires crossed. He fixates on a barista at a coffee shop near his apartment, and tells himself it's fine as long as he keeps his distance. Except you keep making that distance smaller.

Rating: M

Word Count: 7k

CONTENT WARNINGS: Off-screen violence. Series will enter gray territory in later chapters; angsty guilt-ridden stalking, exhibitionism, consensual-but-not-safe-or-sane vibes all the way down. teehee.

Read on AO3

[ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ]

When you’re a teenager— no, not even, when you’re a preteen, in middle school— a crew of surveyors for a Russian oil company finds a plane frozen in the Arctic. You’d just finished up the section on World War Two in history class; two weeks ago you’d been sitting in a hard-backed chair with the lights off trying not to fall asleep while watching a Netflix documentary about the life and death of Steve Rogers, the prototypical American Hero, that your teacher put on presumably to get out of having to actually teach. You had to fill out a worksheet about it. You had homework asking about the ways that national ideals of heroism have changed over time. You spent a whole class period talking about that, comparing and contrasting Captain America and Iron Man. You had to write a five-paragraph essay about whether or not you thought the American Hero archetype would even exist without Captain America’s death.

Except Captain America is not dead.

Captain America is alive.

It is 2012, and a lot of things are popular. The Hunger Games. Gangnam Style. The new Batman movie, the one with Christian Bale. A type of teenage and pre-teenage girl exists—has existed, will continue to exist— and while there was NSYNC and Backstreet Boys and whatever the fuck else in the 90s; right now there’s Twilight and One Direction and Justin Bieber.

Captain America comes out of the ice. Captain America is 6’4 and muscular and blond and blue-eyed and unfailingly kind, and then he goes on to join up with a bunch of other people—superheros— and saves the world.

The end result, the one that anyone with a brain could have seen coming a mile off, the one that gets referenced by late-night talk-show hosts and poked at in grocery-store gossip rags and sometimes said outright in interviews with the guy on national television, is that Steve Rogers— Captain America— kind of ends up rounding out the “teenage girl obsessions during the ‘10s” list.

And—

Well.

You were never big on any of that.

Your friends were, though, and so you let yourself be dragged through the onslaught of new Netflix specials and you dutifully and appropriately emoji-reacted to every Battle of New York youtube compilation and Vine edit they sent to you and you even went to the movies to watch the new remastered docudrama about the life and now the not-death of Steve Rogers, and—

You never really liked blonds, so.

His friend, though—

His friend was kind of cute.

Sergeant James Barnes. Twenty-eight, dark-haired and blue-eyed and attractive, in a charming, boyish kind of way.

Fast forward ten years. There’s some weird drama with a helicarrier and some entirely anticlimactic fight at an airport and then an alien kills half the population of the world and then they all come back again, courtesy of Iron Man’s sacrifice and your middle school history teacher one-hundred-percent predicting the future with the whole “the American Hero trope is dependent on the hero’s death” shit that you totally didn’t understand at the ripe age of twelve—

Anyway. Life happens, basically. You grow up. You’re not even friends with those girls anymore. Not uncommon. And that crush on cute little baby-faced James Buchanan Barnes lasted all of something like three months— one of those fleeting childhood infatuations you have on people who are safely unobtainable, like rock stars or fictional characters or guys who are very, very dead— after which time you never really thought about it again.

And now you’re twenty-three and working closing shifts at a coffee shop in Brooklyn while figuring out what your life trajectory is even going to be, adjusting as best you can to your fucking daily customer base having quite literally doubled in the last six months, that part of you that’d read his entire wikipedia page on a phone with an actual physical slide-out keyboard at two in the morning an entire eleven years ago so far away it feels like something even less than a memory.

Except one night in April this guy walks in. He’s dark-haired and blue-eyed and wearing a leather jacket and matching gloves; he comes up to the counter and he makes startlingly unbreaking eye contact that freaks you out a teensy bit— a lot— and orders a coffee, black, and nothing else, and you stare right back kind of temporarily immune to the weirdness of it because you know him, why do you know him—

It clicks as you’re pouring the coffee into a reinforced cardboard cup and it stuns you so completely that you almost overfill it and wind up less than a second away from burning the shit out of your hand.

Sergeant James Barnes.

He looks the same, kind of, but also not at all— you sneak glances at him while you fumble for a lid, the harsher angles of his cheekbones and the wider set of his jaw, the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes and the lines setting into his forehead and the way he doesn’t really have any of the baby fat left in his face that he had in all the photos you’d seen of him.

“Thanks,” he says, when you give him his coffee.

His smile, or his attempt at it, looks more like a grimace than anything.

You expect him to leave, then, but he doesn’t— he goes over to one of the tables in the lobby, the one by the window in the corner of the room, and he sits there and he drinks his coffee and he stares out at the street. It’s dark already; late November, almost December, the solstice approaching. It’ll be a long while before it’s still light later than 4:30.

He stays there for a long time, and the awareness of him prickles at the nape of your neck as you work, filling orders for a dwindling trickle of customers and starting the long and arduous process of cleaning up everything for close.

Sometime around 9:30 you go into the back to try to get started on dishes; the doorbell chimes when you’re about halfway through, and you grumble under your breath and rinse soap suds off of your forearms and resolve to pretend you hadn’t lost track of the hose and accidentally soaked the whole of your shirt from about the sternum down—

There’s nobody waiting at the counter when you come out, though.

And Sergeant James Barnes is gone.

You expect it to be one of those things. Everyone in New York has one of those things. They’re great party stories. One time I sat next to Denzel Washington on the subway. Michael Keaton bought a phone from me when I worked at Apple in Midtown. I ran into Steve Buscemi at this one mom-and-pop bagel place.

I served coffee to Captain America’s not-dead friend in Brooklyn.

Except next week, same day, he’s there again.

The lady in front of him is getting something stupid complicated and being annoying about it. Two pumps caramel, two pumps vanilla, two creams and two skim milk, three sugars and make sure to melt it first, if you don’t, I’ll know, Jesus Christ, make your coffee at home—

The guy who is maybe potentially Barnes laughs.

You said that out loud, apparently. Mumbled it under your breath, or something, quiet enough that the lady hadn’t heard, just shot you a suspicious look and sipped at her drink and then left without a thank-you, apparently satisfied. It’s just you and him now, your coworker off doing food prep in the back room and the lobby empty.

Somehow, he’d heard you. And he’d laughed. It was a weird sound, sharp and rough and cut short like he hadn’t meant to and like he’d tried to make himself stop; his expression is flat, and he’s not smiling, but there’s something— lighter, about it, than when you’d seen him last.

“Black coffee?” you blurt out, before he can say anything.

He blinks. He’s doing that thing again— the staring.

“Easy to remember,” you say, by way of explanation. “Simple.”

His mouth twitches at the corners, not really a smile, yet, but still— something. That lightness to his expression, impassive as it is, hasn’t faded. “Yeah, just black,” he says. “Thanks.”

You make it for him— ‘make’ is a stretch, you pour it, and that’s all, really— and he takes it back to that same spot by the window in the corner, nurses it as he looks out into the street, the sky cast that bruised purple color when the sun’s gone below the horizon but the light hasn’t faded, yet.

You try not to stare.

Same deal as the last time; he stays.

“Hey,” your coworker’s voice drifts from the back room, “You want to sweep the lobby or do the dishes?”

“Lobby,” you reply, extremely fast, thinking about last time and the hose mishap and how your shirt hadn’t dried until basically the end of your shift, but also thinking about maybe-Barnes sitting by the window and how part of you really fucking wants to know. Even if it’s not him, if it’s just some particularly uncanny lookalike, you wonder if it happens a lot. The being mistaken.

You make it through about maybe five minutes of actual lobby-sweeping before you become physically incapable of resisting your curiosity.

“I always got pretty good marks in history,” is what you tell him. Because saying “are you Seargant Barnes” seems kind of— rude.

He stiffens, and he drums his gloved fingers on the lid of his coffee cup, and he doesn’t look up or say a word.

“Your photo was in a bunch of the textbooks,” you add, twisting your grip on the broom handle, back and forth. It’s definitely him. The haircut. His face. Older, a lot less boyish, but the same eyes. “Sergeant Barnes. 107th.”

He doesn’t look at you. Speaks very deliberately. “Are you going to tell anyone?”

There’s this bright jolt of satisfaction at being right, followed pretty quickly by a pang of guilt at the thought you’d irritated him.

“Oh—um, no, definitely not, I’m sure it’s— annoying, probably, getting recognized,” you say, stumbling over the words. “I— sorry, I shouldn’t have— bothered you.”

He does look at you, then. He stares. You’d been fidgeting, still, but under the force of his gaze every muscle in your body goes tense and still, frozen solid, and nerves prickle up at the back of your neck, raising the hairs there. You have to fight back the urge to shiver.

“No,” he says. “It’s never happened before. Don’t— don’t be sorry.”

You open your mouth. Close it again. Your hands resume their twisting around the broom handle before you abruptly decide you do need to actually finish the chore you’d set out to do.

You tell him one last thing, before you go back to it. You’d always kind of felt weird about saying this kind of stuff; it gets touchy, particularly after Vietnam. Not really a great practice to get into, the whole “thank you for your service” schtick, because a lot of them don’t see it that way, and every war after that was even more complicated and your opinions on those are— similarly complicated. But World War 2– that was different. It wasn’t US military overreach. It was necessary. And he’d been drafted, you remembered that.

“Hey,” you say, very soft. “I just— Thanks. For— you know. Serving, when your numbers came up. It couldn’t have been easy, I mean.” you clear your throat, shift your weight, suddenly feeling very self-aware. “Coffee’s on me, next time, okay?”

Something flickers across his expression, like a ripple over the surface of a lake. Whatever it was, it’s gone before you can make sense of it.

You spend most of the week thinking he won’t come back next Friday. But he does. There’s nobody in front of him in line, this time, and like the time before your coworker is off in the back, which means it’s easy to slip him his coffee and conveniently forget to ring it out.

“Thanks,” he tells you, his voice a lot quieter. Softer, too.

You smile at him. His mouth twitches back, like maybe he’s not sure if he should return it, but wants to.

He takes the seat by the window again.

He keeps coming back. You try to make small talk but it feels stilted and awkward. It kind of makes you sad, a little bit, seeing him sitting there for hours, alone.

On your day off, in early January, you go grocery shopping.

You spend about 25$ in total and you make a split second decision to grab something out of the ordinary that’s on-sale. Dude was raised during the Great Depression, you guess he’s not the most experienced in the realm of the great big world of Weird Things You Can Purchase At The Modern Day Grocery Store. It’s meant to be a sort of peace offering, a look-I-can-be-normal-about-it, let’s-be-friends kind of deal, if he’s going to keep hanging around the coffee shop. You’re not sure if he, like— wants that, friends, or if maybe it’s just that he doesn’t want to be alone, but you figure it’s worth a shot.

Part of it is that he interests you. Part of it is that your job, as much as it sucks less than a lot of other service jobs, is very mundane, very normal, often very boring, and James Buchanan Barnes being a regular customer is easily the most interesting and least boring thing that has ever happened to you at work. Or— ever, honestly.

And maybe that’s selfish, to want to talk to him for that reason, but— whatever.

On Friday, like last week, you get there and you clock in and you try to casually scan the lobby, the floor littered with straw wrappers and crumpled napkins and empty sugar packets, the tables tacky with flavored syrup and coffee stains that you’d need to clean later, chairs around them arranged haphazardly and not pushed in, and—

And in the back corner, sitting low in his seat, baseball cap tugged down and shade over his eyes and fingers drumming restlessly against the side of a paper coffee cup, is James Buchanan Barnes.

The excitement you feel, then, is not really the kind you’d expected to— the last time you’d thought about him had been middle school, and even if it’d been just that three months, you remember with startling clarity that girlish, daydreamy kind of interest, how it felt, pleasant and mild and entirely harmless. Whatever you feel right now is not like that at all. It’s sharp and it’s visceral and it’s real, not a fantasy or the result of your imagination, not directed towards some fiction of a person that functioned as a safe receptacle for the things going on inside your head, but an actual individual human being.

It’s just interest, just curiosity, what you feel— you don’t have a crush on him, it’s not like you’re still in middle school and still interested, like that, in even just the general category of person that crush had represented. And the person sitting in the lobby isn’t the person– the fiction– you’d even felt that type of way about, anyways. You don’t know him, and he’s obviously nothing like the guy memorialized in every Captain America docudrama miniseries on Netflix. No, James Buchanan Barnes is a real human being, a very different human being, one that’s a stranger to you and you think— you guess— probably just as much of a stranger to that other, safer, softer, more boyish version of himself.

You keep thinking about how he looked at you, unbroken and unwavering and eerily fucking precise, how his eyes hadn’t even move at all, focused so intently that it’d made the hairs on the back of your neck raise and goosebumps prickle across the tops of your shoulders and all the way down your arms and your gut instinct yell, loudly, there is something not right about this guy!

You’d read his Wikipedia article again. It’s been updated since; lots of shit came out since 2012. You’d heard about the Winter Soldier stuff, but reading about it in detail— it’s bad. There are probably several things that are not exactly right about him, now. That’s fine, though. The way the world is these days, there’s stuff not right about everyone.

You’re occupied with a steady and annoyingly constant stream of customers until about 8:00, making coffees and sandwiches and trading on and off with your coworker in the back room, where you’re trying to get the brunt of the stocking and dishwashing done before they leave at 8:30. You’d been fucking busy, and you’re annoyed, you got cream from the dispenser machine all up one of the sleeves of your sweater so you’d had to take it off, and there’s fucking caramel sauce stuck to the hairs on the flat of your forearm near your wrist and gluing them to your skin and that grocery bag of fruit is sitting on the back table next to your jacket and your gross sweater and your house keys and it’s staring at you. Accusingly.

Your coworker leaves.

You steal a careful glance over the coffee machines at the lobby, just checking, just to make sure that he’s still—

And he is.

Cool.

It takes you a few minutes to kind of— dredge up the guts to go talk to him, another few more for the last trickle of late-night coffee-getters to start to finally taper out, and then you do it. You gather your resolve and your nerve and whatever else, courage, too, probably, and you go out into the lobby and you stand in front of his table and you wait for him to, eventually, look up from where he’s been staring, kind of sullen-looking, out of the window.

“I looked it up,” you blurt out when he does, before you can think better of it, “Online. Apparently supply chains were really small, in like. The 30s. So people could get stuff, right, but a lot more of it was— local. You know that, obviously, but, um.”

He just looks at you. Unblinking.

“Anyway,” you say, trying to ignore the weird kind of twisty feeling of your nerves in the pit of your stomach; jesus christ, he stares, a lot, “Anyway, I had this neighbor when I was a kid, right, and he was— his family, they were refugees. Immigrants. He was learning English, but I made friends with him by using my allowance to buy things at the grocery store, like, weird things, stuff that he’d never had before. So we could— try it. For– fun. And I thought– well. There was a sale, today, so.”

You gesture to your hand; awkwardly, helplessly, god, this is weird, like ice-breakers on hard mode, if the ice were less like a frozen-over pond and more like one of those miles-deep Antarctic glaciers. A tissue-thin plastic bag, the knotted top of it held in your fist, the lone fruit inside just kind of– sitting there.

He finally blinks, and then he shifts back in his chair, and he looks at you some more, his gaze unwavering and solid and heavy like it has actual, physical weight to it, like it’s pressing down on your shoulders and forcing you into the ground. “Are you— have you been trying to make friends with me?” he says, in a tone that’s kind of incredulous and a lot disbelieving and tells you absolutely nothing about whether or not he’d actually be amenable to that.

Whatever.

Fuck it, you think, and then you lift your chin and you meet his eyes and you make yourself stare right back, stubborn and deliberately unflinching. “Yeah,” you tell him. “I have.”

His expression– it’d been flat, impassive and unreadable, but something cuts right across it for a fraction of a second when you say that, quick and sure as a knife. For that one heartbeat of a moment he looks expressive and alive– you think he might even look stricken, actually, and you wonder far too late if maybe this had been a mistake, if you’d upset him. Done something wrong.

But then it’s gone, so quickly that you think you must have imagined it.

He leans back in his chair, and he looks down at his empty coffee cup as he taps it absently against the table, like he’s thinking it over. When he looks back at you the sum of his features are wholly neutral, except for his mouth, which is quirked up at the corners, just a little– not a smile, not with the way his lips are pressed together, into a hard, unwavering line, but it doesn’t look like something bad, either. It doesn’t look negative.

“Okay,” he says. “All right, shoot.” He jerks his chin towards the bag in your hand. “What’ve you got?”

You tear the side of it with your fingernails and dump the contents on the table. “Pomegranate. Had one before?”

His mouth twitches up more, and this time it does look like a smile, the beginnings of one, like he’s repressing it. He clicks his tongue and stretches his legs out under the table and shakes his head, just a little. “Yep,” he says. “Struck out on your first try.”

“No way Mr. Great Depression is more worldly than me.” You decide you’re going to interpret that as an agreeable reaction. There’s only one chair at his table, so you drag one over from nearby, the legs making this awful grinding sound against the tile floor. “I’ve never had one, so I’m taking half. Only fair.”

You fumble in your pocket for your knife to cut into it. He stares at it, when you pull it out, and then stares at you, “What do you have that for?”

Some nameless tension inside of you unwinds at the realization that he’s not just sitting there in stone-faced silence, anymore.

“Walk home after close,” you reply with an easy shrug; the conversation no longer feels like the world’s most awkward one-person performance or like actually physically pulling teeth, and that’s— pretty cool. Feels like a victory. “I usually finish at like, eleven-thirty. Not super dangerous, or anything, but better safe than sorry.”

Barnes makes a disapproving sound— what you think is a disapproving sound— under his breath when you flick the blade open, and grabs the pomegranate from the center of the table. “Too short,” he says, jerking his chin at it in your hand, “Gonna be a pain in the ass, let me.”

The knife that he pulls from what you think must be a sheath on his boot is a straight blade without a handguard, matte black and tapered to a point and without a doubt longer than four inches. Long enough to halve the pomegranate in one clean cut, sharp enough to bite into the laminate surface of the table underneath, just a little.

“That’s definitely not street legal,” you say, mostly joking.

Barnes stares at you. It takes you a second to realize that’s— new. Relatively speaking.

“New York made anything over four inches illegal, plus butterfly knives and switchblades,” you inform him. “I think in the 50s.”

He makes some noncommittal sound of what you assume is probably distaste, and stows the knife back in his boot.

“Don’t worry,” you say, “I’m not a snitch.”

He doesn’t smile, but his expression lightens a little.

On the table, the pomegranate is split neatly in half, and the little pebbled fruits inside the open skin glint in the warm light from the overhead fixtures. Like flecks of garnet. Or drops of blood.

“Could get these in the fall, sometimes,” he says, looking down at it. “Used to pick the bits out with a sewing needle. Made it last all afternoon.”

Your brain conjures up the image of the baby-faced Barnes, maybe sitting on the curb or the front steps of a building. You wonder what the details of the memory are. You wonder if little scrawny Steve had been there, or if he’d been alone.

You don’t ask.

“I don’t have a sewing needle,” is what you do say, “But—“ your nametag is clipped to your shirt, a flat slip of plastic with a pin on the back, and you unfasten it and slide it across the table.

Behind you, the door hinges creak and the bell chimes and you sigh, long-suffering, and get to your feet with an exaggeratedly affected eye-roll.

“I’ll be back,” you tell him, “Customer.”

You go to take the order and then midway through making it the doorbell sounds again. Midway through making that, same deal. This happens, at night, a trickle of customers just fast enough to keep you working nonstop, now that you’re the only person running the store. It goes on for something like ten minutes, which irritates the shit out of you despite the fact that it is technically your job. It’s nine-thirty at night and you’ve been at work for six hours and what you want to be doing is picking this dude’s brain, not making fucking coffee and bagels.

And also because a part of you is aware that he usually leaves around now.

He’s still there, though, when you come back; on the table there’s the husk of one half of the pomegranate, this pale and washed-out color like corn silk, and a neat pile of seeds on a recycled-paper napkin. Barnes has the other half and he’s poking out little grains of red with the safety-pin end of your name tag and biting the pieces off the tip, breaking the fragile skin between his teeth. He looks— calmer. Kind of wistful.

You realize this must be the first time he’s done this since he was a child, all the way back in a Brooklyn that doesn’t look anything like this one. Living alongside different people. Walking different streets. Breathing different air.

“That’s for you,” he says, nodding at the little bits of red, the empty husk, “I thought— since you’re working.”

You blink at him, and then you smile, a small, grateful one. Something flashes in his eyes, when you do; you aren’t paying much attention to it, still thinking about him, being so out of time. How strange this all must be. How much you really did mean it when you said you wanted to be his friend.

Barnes seems to realize when he brings the pin to his mouth again that it’s attached to your nametag. “Sorry,” he says, stilted and stiff and awkward-sounding, again, “I— you probably don’t want this back, now.”

“‘S fine, you can throw it out, if you want— I have so many.”You slide back into the chair and fish out of your apron pocket a blank one that you’d grabbed from the back, not knowing he’d gone and picked all the seeds out of your half already. “I forget them in my pockets, they keep ending up in the washing machine.”

His expression relaxes, a little. He catches the kernel of fruit at the end of the pin between his teeth and bites down until there’s a burst of red in his mouth. Stabs another, works it free of the shell, the flimsy little white membrane around it wilting in on itself. You watch him do that for a minute, contemplative and silent. His mouth is red. His tongue, too, when it darts across his bottom lip. Makes you think about rocket pops from the ice cream truck in the summer. Makes you wonder if they had those, back then.

“Did all that work for nothing, huh?” he says, after a while. You startle out of your thoughts and blink at him, nonplussed; he glances down at the pile of seeds on the napkin. “Thought you wanted to try it.”

“Oh,” you say, eloquently. “Oh, yeah. Duh.”

The first gem-glittering marble of fruit is softer than you’d expected and ruptures between your thumb and forefinger, staining the pads of them all red. You think about summer, as a kid, when you’d fall and scrape your hands on the asphalt hard enough that they bled. It’s almost the same color.

The second time the seed is firmer and it bursts sharp and tart and faintly sweet between your teeth. “Kind of like cranberries,” you say, taking another.

The pile is gone quickly, leaving just the napkin, the juice, like a dark wine stain. You lick your fingers clean. He’d been staring, the way he kind of always stares, but when your lips close around your thumb, he looks away.

You learn a bunch about food in the 1940s, mostly by accident.

Mangoes were a thing; they’d had some growing down in Florida, and you could get them seasonally. Pineapples used to be so rare that rich people would display the whole fruit as a centerpiece at parties and things, way back in the very early 1900s and up through the Great Depression, too; but by the time the 30s rolled around you could get the canned kind at the store. Watermelon was a thing, too, but they all had the solid, jet-black seeds you weren’t supposed to swallow; somebody’d bred those out of the commercial ones sometime after Barnes had slipped out of time.

“I gotta just go straight for the really fucking weird stuff,” you muse, mostly to yourself. It’s late and it’s quiet in the shop and it’s raining outside, the street slick and black and reflecting the light from the lampposts. He stays later, now, leaves closer to 10:30; you’re kind of proud of that. That he seems to like you, your company. Or at least doesn’t dislike it.

“You could just ask,” he says, sounding just the slightest bit exasperated, “If I’ve had something before.”

“No,” you tell him, deeply serious, “No, that fucking ruins it, Barnes, it ruins the surprise.”

He looks at you blankly. A few seconds too late, you realize you’ve never actually said that, out loud. His name. You don’t call him Sergeant in your head anymore, it seems too formal, but James seems too intimate, and you hadn’t asked— hadn’t wanted to ask, hadn’t wanted to pry— if he still thinks of himself as Bucky.

He doesn’t say anything.

Barnes it is, then.

Gooseberries used to be way more popular, all the way up into the 1920s, even though technically it was made federally illegal to grow them a few years before he was born. It was an attempt to stop the spread of this fungus that’d jump from the bushes to pine trees, killed huge swathes of them up and down the Northeast, decimated the lumber industry. He tells you his Ma used to make tarts and pies from them, in the fall when they were in-season, but eventually the farms upstate started getting shut down, and it was too expensive. The federal ban lifted in the 60s, you learn via Google, but production never really ramped back up again— they didn’t even have them at your regular grocery store, you’d had to go all the way to Trader Joe’s.

They taste kind of like green apples. He’d looked the way he did with the pomegranate, that first time, wistful and softer and like he’s remembering. It’s really the most you’ve ever seen behind whatever practiced and controlled exterior he maintains, beyond flashes of almost-smiles and eyebrow-raises and pointed looks. You want to peel that veneer off like peeling the skin from a fruit, get underneath it, get to the flesh of him; when this thought occurs to you, you bury it immediately, as deep as it will go.

“White pine blister rust,” you read aloud off of your phone, crossing the lobby to his table, coffee cup in one hand. You set it on the table for him and he reaches for it with a mumbled thanks. “That’s what it was called, the fungus-thing. According to wikipedia.”

Barnes blinks at you. He takes a long, slow sip of his coffee, even though it’s still probably a little too hot, not that it matters to him; and then he sets the cup down and frowns and says, “What the fuck is wikipedia?”

You laugh without meaning to.

The skin slips, a little, whatever’s underneath peeking out, bruised and soft and bloody, but then you blink and he’s fine. Watching you, expression light and practiced. Whole, again.

In February something happens.

Your coworker tells you before he leaves, pulls you aside in the threshold of the door to the back room to mumble, “there were some dudes out back by the garbage when I took it out before. I was getting bad vibes, I don’t know, just— be careful.”

There’d been a string of robberies through the borough, all within some convenient distance of the subway line, and the store is probably three blocks away from one of the platforms. The back door is one of those that opens only from inside the store, the other end flat and lacking a handle; you leave it propped open when you run to take the garbage out. You’re not stupid, is the thing. The guys, whoever they are— it could be nothing, but it could be that they’re waiting. Waiting for it to be just you, waiting for the door to open, waiting for the opportunity. You have a knife, but it’s a flimsy ten-dollar gas station piece of shit, mostly for intimidation and not for actual use; you’re also well aware that using knives in confrontations tends to make things worse rather than better. Bring that shit out and you’re asking to get it taken from you. Asking to have it used on you.

You could try to call the cops, but more than half of them have been requisitioned by the GRC, and you know what they’d tell you. Unfortunately at the moment we’re understaffed and can’t afford to respond to predictive calls. Please let us know if and when something illegal occurs. Practiced and perfunctory and something people joke about in your neighborhood, because there’s really nothing else any of you can do. Your coworker can’t stay, either; he can’t afford to pay the babysitter another hour, not on minimum wage.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, “I’ll be fine.”

And it is okay. You will be fine.

Barnes is there.

It’s a Wednesday, so it’s just sheer fucking luck that he’s here at all; he must be able to see it, in your face, when you come bursting through the little swinging gate-thing and out into the lobby, because his hands tighten into fists where they’re resting on the table.

“Oh my god I’m so glad you’re here,” you say, breathless and frantic and very much meaning it.

There’s a flash of something on his face that makes you think of heat lightning or splintering ice of the second right before a pomegranate seed bursts between teeth. You are not thinking enough about things that aren’t your immediate anxiety to register it.

“I need your help,” you tell him.

He grows progressively stiffer as you explain the situation, and when you’re done he says nothing, just stands up and pushes his chair in and says, real low, “I’ll go— talk to them. Don’t worry.”

The bell above the door chimes when he leaves.

You stand there at the edge of his table for what feels like some impossible amount of time, every muscle in your body wound up like a spring, jaw clenched so hard it’s starting to drive the beginnings of a headache somewhere on the top of your skull—

He comes back.

“Are you— did they—“ you break from nervously picking at your fingernails to make some vague and anxious gesture. Barnes looks fine, unscathed, cool and neutral and controlled as ever, but when he looks at you it makes something base and instinctive deep inside of you buzz with— alarm. Or— something.

“They were just— being stupid, just drunks,” he says, and maybe you’re imagining it, the thread of tension in his voice. “It’s fine. It’s all— it’s fine.”

You feel yourself visibly relax. “Oh, god, thank you so much, dealing with drunk guys is— it’s the worst.”

He flinches, when you say the first words, just a little, his eyes almost closing and the muscles around them going just briefly tense, like he’d managed to suppress most, but not all, of the instinct. “You don’t— you don’t need to thank me.”

You study him for a minute, like maybe if you look hard enough that flicker of whatever it was would come back, linger long enough for you to make sense of it.

“All right, fine, no thanks. Thanks rescinded,” you say finally, bemused. “I’m going to refill your coffee, though.”

You say it with your hand already half-outstretched, close enough that he can’t stop you even with his reflexes, and whatever entirely reactive and entirely accidental noise of triumph you make when his hand closes around empty space is— not on purpose.

His mouth twitches, the closest you’ve ever seen to an actual smile.

Something in your stomach flips.

You shove that shit down, too.

When you come back with the coffee he’s sitting back in the chair with his legs stretched out and he’s staring out the window again.

“Thanks,” he says, when you set it down.

“Oh, so you can thank me, but I can’t thank you?”

His mouth twitches again. “Yes.”

You make some entirely performative tch sound of affected annoyance as you retreat back behind the counter; you still have to take the garbage out, clear out the pastry display case, start emptying and scrubbing down the coffee pots you’re not using now that business has slowed to a crawl.

“Are you still coming Friday?” you call out to him, over the hum and hiss of the espresso machine running through the automated cleaning program, the milk foaming wands steaming in pitchers of sanitizer water, all of it loud enough that you’d never be able to hear him over it, something you realize too late, “Sorry, hold on, I should have asked before I—“

“Do you want me to?” His voice is clear and close and you startle reflexively; he’s at the counter, at the register, staring. Always staring. You thought in the beginning you’d get used to it. It’s not uncommon; those with power stare, and those without cast their eyes down and away. It’s the nature of customer service jobs in New York City. You meet a lot of powerful assholes in suits who make more money than you probably will ever handle in the entirety of your life, and they look at you and talk at you rather than to you, like you’re nothing, a rodent or an insect or something even less than that. You’ve never once flinched away from any of their stares, and never so much as felt like you wanted to, either.

James Buchanan Barnes doesn’t look at you like that at all. He doesn’t look at you like you’re lesser. He looks at you like he can see you— like he can see right through you, like you’re transparent, like everything going on in your head is out in the open, visible, vulnerable, or maybe like he just wants it to be. Like he’s looking for a door hidden somewhere in the minutiae of your expression, some way to force himself inside and pull all of your thoughts and secrets out like unraveling a spool of thread.

He doesn’t look at you like you’re not human. He looks at you like he knows, precisely, intimately, exactly how human you are, and that’s—

Kind of worse. Or maybe it isn’t. It’s definitely weird.

You realize with a start that he’d asked you a question, and you’d been silent for way too long. You tear your eyes away from him and focus on pulling all the cup lids out of the tray at the edge of the counter, sweeping the donut crumbs and sugar crystals and coffee grinds out and onto the floor.

“I mean—,” your tongue feels thick and clumsy in your mouth and it trips over the words, the syllables, stumbling and uncertain. “Not if you have plans, I— you don’t have to.”

“I never have plans,” he scoffs, scathingly self-deprecating, and then there’s the steady rhythm of his fingers drumming against the counter and you feel it on your neck, the hairs raising there, that he’s staring at you still, “I just—since I came today, I thought maybe you wouldn’t— I don’t want to bother you.”

You freeze, stack of iced coffee lids in one hand, half-lowered back into the now-spotless tray.

You force yourself to look back up at him.

“You’re not bothering me,” you say, stressing each word, like it’s important. It is important. “You’re— I like you. We’re friends.”

That thing, from before, the almost-maybe-flinch; it happens again, and you feel your own expression do something reflexive in response, your lips part and your brow furrow in the seconds before you can school your features back to composure. Whatever he does, the control he has over his affect; you’re not very good at that.

“Besides,” you say, into the silence, eyes cast back down and focused on filling the lid tray, “I found something you’ve never tried before, this time. And since I paid for it already, you are, in fact, contractually obligated to be here.”

He laughs, the same kind of laugh, the only kind of laugh you ever get from him; the cut-short one, like he doesn’t mean to, like he’d tried to stop it.

Like he couldn’t.

Barnes leaves at about 10:45, and you bring the trash out right before he goes, just in case. You wouldn’t have seen it if it weren’t for the fact that you were still kind of nervous and had your phone in hand, shining the washed-out beam of light back-and-forth across the little fenced-in area by the dumpster, trying to keep the garbage bag at arms’ length to avoid getting some disgusting coffee sludge mixture on your shoes where it’s leaking out of the corners.

The light catches on it. It glitters, captures your attention, red against the sun-bleached gray concrete. Pomegranate seeds. Shards of garnet.

Drops of blood.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #i'm uploading all of the things to tumblr. finally.#fic; drops of blood

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