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kaedehararchives · 6 months

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black coffee

unrequited, seemingly unrequited, open ending and attachments

another day in the coffee shop and it's not like nothing happens in the tevyatbucks. at least, it's not like you absoutlely hate this job. like maybe theres entitled customers who somehow wanted to haggle the prices or people who are too shy to function as a human being. ok, sometimes the arataki gang visits and wrecks some havoc. then, as always, shinbou apologizes on their behalf and the arataki gang would fill in on your shifts or temporally join to repay their debts. you dont mind that at all as long as you could see your favorite regular that comes in.

hes a fairly tall guy with tanned skin, red eyes— that could be contacts— and silver, blonde hair with a red streak. sometimes, he would wear a necklace with a faded purple gem. you asked once where he got it from and he explained that it came from one of his childhood best friends, tomo. you remembered how fondly he smiled while thinking of tomo. he usually comes in and asks for a medium matcha with strawberry foam. when you write down his order and ask for his name, he replied with something silly + his real name.

whenever you call out the fake name he has created that day, he chuckled before he gives you a smile. a sweet smile as if the raiden shogun have carved them herself. its amount of those kind of interactions that made you have smitten over this guy. despite only knowing his regular order and name, you were convinced that he has to be into you. or at least a little bit.

but today was a little more unusual. he didn't come in and when he did, his ruby eyes were puffy and he looked too drowsy, he didn't ask for his abnormally sweet drinks. instead, he dove straight into a black coffee with no extra add ons. something was wrong. you could tell by the way his eyes twitched and the line in his forehead creased. although it was covered by concealer, his undereye were a bit darkened, sullen.

sometimes, he had that look in his eyes. the ones refusing for the help he needed. but you knew him well enough (or at least, you thought so.) that he needed someone to talk to. he had his set up with his laptop and drink next to it. you pulled a chair next to him as he looked up to your direction. “hey, samurai!” you said, making sure your tone wasn't too cheerful or too tone-deaf. the nickname samurai for kazuha was made when he mentioned he used to spar with his friend, tomo. kazuha didn't say much but only waved and replied with a small hi. you wondered if something bad happened to him. usually he would be more excited. or maybe that's because he had coffee or sugar in his system.

“whats wrong?” you hope you didn't sound too entitled to know about his feelings. he sipped on his black coffee before telling you that the friend he mentioned before. the tomo guy. the guy who gave him the faint amethyst gem necklace. kazuha fiddled with the necklace before telling you, "do you remember tomo?" he paused as he waited for you to reply. you didn't want to interrupt so you only made eye contact and nodded. sometimes, kazuha would come to the shop with his friend, tomo. tomo was a taller guy than kazuha and a bit more masculine presenting. he always had a little cat in his pocket of his shirt. you couldn't tell if it was a real one or a fake one. eventually, you found out it was fake. tomo was trying to prove to kazuha that he was able to take care of a cat but will prove it with a fake one first. similar to those moms wanting their kids to get along with the newborn baby with a baby toy.

"well, tomo has been struggling with a chronic illness and you know, how passionate he is?" you nodded. there was a look in kazuha's eyes you haven't seen before. it was a mix of admiration and something else that you couldn't put your finger on. "he wouldn't let his illness get in the way of his passion of sparring." he laughed bitterly. "even with how much ive tried... just two months ago, tomo has passed away from his disease." your eyes only widened and before you could tell him you're sorry for his loss, he held up his hand. you paused before settling on your seat a bit less comfortable than before.

"it's okay. you don't need to apologize. tomo was my best friend, my sun and... my boyfriend, ex soon-to-be fiance." kazuha mumbled. then it hit you. that was it. it wasn't admiration kazuha's face had when he was talking about tomo. it wasn't platonic or familar. it was romantic. they were in love.

kazuha realized he vented way too much to his favorite barista. maybe because of the face you were making. you looked shocked and suprised. he didn't mean to make you feel that way. but there was no way he could back away from what he has said. before he was about to say anything, you picked up the pieces of your broken face. you apologized and told kazuha you had to go on your other shift since you were shadowing for someone. he understood as you walked away from the whole situation.

you were stupid to think kazuha was able to harbor the same feelings for you. maybe this was a step in the right direction or a sign from the universe to get over the crush you had on your favorite regular. maybe it was time for someone new.

#vidia’s archive #genshin impact x reader #fairykazu archive #genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin x you #kazuha x reader #[written 2/8/23]#kaedehararchives: fin

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pumpkinsy0 · 5 months

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HAPPY THANKSGIVING PUMPKINSY0!!!💌

In honor of the THANKSGIVING DAY!!

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

How about headconnons....

Of the whole gang + the Shepards & Buck celebrating Thanksgiving!

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

I thought it would be funny and cute that their celebrating it all together 🎀❗♦♥📿🐞🌹🍒🌶🍷🚨🌡🎈🎴🪀📣☎🔖

ALSO THOUGHT WOULD BE FUNNY IF DARRY PUTS DALLY IN CHARGE OF THE TURKEY [BUT DALLY'S DUMBASS BRINGS A ALIVE TURKEY INSTEAD OF A DEAD TURKEY😂] TAKE YOUR TIME NO RUSH THANK YOU 🙏🏻

🛸💌🍙💭🤍🦭🐑🐚☘🍚🍥🥛⛰⛩☃🎲♟☂

thank u!!! im not the biggest fan of thanksgiving, my mom loves it tho and so does my family so ill just base these hcs off of em

ALRIGHT SO

•the shepards!!! tims in charge of food, so hes just making haitian food cause thats like the only food he knows how to rlly make

•diri jon jon, lambi, crabs, shrimp, du riz au lait, etc etc rlly a lot of rice and sea food w one dessert

•hes been up literalally all day and night cooking god bless his soul, he did take a small break tho so its all ok

•curly aint the biggest of helpers, he doesnt rlly like thanksgiving like that but tims goin through all the trouble so might as well do somethin so hes not mad later on

•angela’s actually an angel, shes helping cut the lambi and peel and cut the shrimp what a great help in the kitchen

•the shepards r a black haitian family ik they also makin mac and cheese, BAKED☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽 mac n cheese

•meanwhile darry is cooking but not rlly, hes only handling the cranberry sauce n shit

•pony n soda r in charge of baking shit cause that’s genuinely what they’re pretty good at, and i say that a bit hesitantly bc the cookies were a lil burnt, had a lil aftertaste to em, so if they hear a “WHO MADE THE COOKIES🗣️” they silent

•buck is also making some trinidadian food!! now im not too well versed of trinidadian food so it could literally just b whatever trinidadian food u can possible think of

•EVERYONE ELSE??? just bring drinks or somethin

•dally and two bit of course brought the alcohol while everyone else just like, brought apple juice or orange juice, money dont grow on trees

•at the actual celebration they actually do play music!!! mostly caribbean BUT ALSO from other places as well!! they do not care whats on the speaker as long as its good

•ppl even brought dates!!! two bit brought marcia (she invited cheery but yknow sherry didnt wanna leave her fam), dally brought sylvia (ill get to that in a sec), and curly TECHNICALLY brought pony bit not rlly cause they were already going to the celebration so

•sylvia is ALSO haitian but shes more of a baker so she brought haitian cake, kremas, some coconut centered dish and flan 😋😋

•PERHAPS curly, pony, angela, sylvia, dally, and maybe johnny go on THAT ‘walk’ and curly comes back faded before everyone even gets their food, what a loser (i love him), angela and pony got a BIT faded but theyre alright they can generally hide it well, johnny was just there bc pony was there what a great bff xoxo

•dally saw pony gettin a lil high n went “u smoke🤨🤨🤨” but didnt tell darry or soda cause hes not a snitch he already got other things to deal w

•im not even gonna lie to to there’s probably a grown up table where darry, tim, and buck hang out and theres a “indescribable but alive” things table where everyone else is

•SURPRISINGLY NOTHING CRAZY HAPPENED, they were all chattin it up, chillin, no drama no nun, just friends, how great for em!!

•two bit and marcia were dancing most of the time

•steve wasnt rlly doin much he was just secretly making plates to take right tf back home so he dont gotta worry about what hes gonna eat the next few days

•darry actually knocked right tf out after eating so things got a BIT more unhinged but not too bad cause he needs his beauty sleep bad

•pony and curly actually ALSO wasnt doin anythin, rlly they were just in a lil corner talking, they were too full and tires to b doin allat and in curlys case a lil too tipsy cause he was drinking rum, perhaps stolen kisses were shared perhaps not, but who am i to judge

•the ONLY ones who werent being fucking calm was sylvia and dally what a shocker there🙄🙄 but rlly it was only small jabs here n there and even then they werent rlly serious thats just kinda how they do affection, god bless their souls

im doin this in the midst if my family blasting music and doin god knows what so if this isnt what u wanted im srry everythings so loud</33

#sodapop curtis #johnny cade #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons #curly shepard #ponyboy curtis #purly #two bit mathews #steve randle #darry curtis #darrel curtis #dallas winston #marcia the outsiders #the outsiders sylvia

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caluski · 5 months

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ive made myself hot chocolate wine. hot wine chocolate maybe. its mostly hot chocolate and some wine... i only added a little because i havent made hot wine in a long time now, i was worried id evaporate the alcohol and make it gross. but it turned out fine and its good, maybe next time ill make some with spices. maybe replace oat milk with some other one... i think cashew might be good, maybe if i spot it on sale somewhere. with cinnamon maybe, with slices of orange? orange matches both chocolate and wine, why wouldn't it work with both at the same time. i wish i could spend an hour or so in the kitchen, making different infusions that i could try with someone else. its always so much more fun to try new things with another person.

i dont really mind drinking alone, since i already usually do it while watching something or writing. but i do really really miss drinking coffee or tea with other people. i miss talking to people so very very much. i talk so much.. if one somehow hasnt figured it out yet from the absolute fucking abundance of long posts on my blog, but i really do love talking. my big problem is that i talk so much, that my hot drinks cool down before i get to take a sip or two. im really horrible at keeping that balance between being caught up with the conversation and drinking. although i never really have much to say, i keep repeating the stories ive already told a million times before, and i say silly stuff, and i complain about a lot of things, and i get sidetracked constantly. not really in like, adorable or quirky way, i can imagine it must be annoying for the other people in the conversation, especially when i get too excited and interrupt people and dont listen very well. i think its one of those things i wanna improve about myself.

yesterday, as i was walking home through the centre of the city, i was horribly in need of coffee, it was so cold and i was in a good mood, and i only had weak green tea that morning, and since it was still pretty early in the day, the cafes had some free spots. but i walked in, looked around, and walked out. its like everything reminds me of loneliness these days, and when i got inside, tables were all taken by couples or groups. i dont think it was a sign of anything, but it made me so awfully bitter. i know loneliness doesnt make me special, i know literally everyone experiences it to some degree, but god, it really hurts to look around and see that despite everything, people always have someone out there. a best friend, a significant other, family member, whatever.

theres that stupid thing everyone always repeats, "theres always someone out there who loves you, even if you dont know about it". i used to hold onto that desperately, but its so dumb. unrealistic and dumb. it makes you hope that maybe right now youre alone, but once you'll be at your rock bottom, SOMEONE will magically show up and say, i care for you, and i will be by your side to support you, or whatever. but then you hit the rock bottom and theres nothing, or better yet, someone you had hoped would stay with you suddenly says "i have anxiety and seasonal affective disorder, i cant be around you or ill get worse, too", and you dont want them to get worse because of you, of course you dont. theyre being reasonable, and you know that, and you cant do anything about it. even if you do guilt-trip them into staying, would that even really help, if they resented you for it secretly for the rest of their life.

a week ago or so ive walked into a cafe, as well, but i got so overwhelmed that i had to pretend to look around which tables are free, and left right away. just brought in mud and puddles, probably, since it was such a snowy day. i worry that one day ill be better, but i wont be able to step foot inside a cafe anymore, because it will remind me of nothing but the days when it was just me and self-loathing. not that i can really afford cafes anymore, but i cant think about that now. or worse, that ill never get better, and ill never get to experience it again, the presence of another person by my side, having coffee or tea or desserts, and talking and laughing and maybe even flirting. that thought makes me nauseous, but i know its likely. it kind of sounds like not much to wish for, but it feels almost too perfect to ever be possible - not only to have money for that in the first place, but also a person who cares for you enough to want to be around you, to want to talk to you or listen to you, a person who wont tell you "we can go out, but i have only an hour" and then leave after 20 minutes because it turns out in that hour was included their ride back home.

i keep thinking, one day ill find someone, one day i wont be lonely anymore and then ill let it all out of my system. but i know its silly, because by the time ill find someone, ill forget how to really be a person, how to have a conversation. i talk to myself a lot, in my head, but its not enough, it doesnt really feel like anything. i write a diary, i write short stories, i write posts on this stupid blog, but nothing feels like talking to another person, and its awful. my memory is far worse, i stutter more and more with each passing year, im being more and more awkward in such an uncomfortable and humiliating way, that it only makes my brain scream at me to shut up forever. i know why my family doesnt want to talk to me, im more unpleasant than ive ever been. i know its unfair to be blaming them for not wanting me around; they stopped asking about anything, recently, because i cant stop crying whenever they start the topic of job search. i cry too much these days. i had to stop showing up to my favorite grocery store, because theyve seen me too many times all wet-eyed. and i cant help it anymore! i know im still human, i know im not a victim, i know my suffering isnt greater than anyone else's. but something has changed and i cant imagine getting better, anymore. or at least going back to who i used to be. theres no hope anymore! and if theres no hope for me anymore, what do i do? "just surviving" isnt neutral, its horrible, its painful, its a nightmare. i dont want my life to look like this. i dont know what to do anymore. and ive said it a thousand times, i know, but its the only thing i have floating around in my useless empty head. i miss hope. i miss believing that i could still be happy, one day. and i know that was stupid, too, i can see it now, but at least it was something to hold onto.

i miss being around people. i miss it so much. i miss talking to people so horribly. i miss laughing and i miss being held. i dont need all this cortisol. i dont want to forget what it feels like to not be alone. but the more i want it, the more out of reach everything feels, the more unrealistic even the simplest things seem. i might as well be dreaming of living in alternate universe fanfiction.

#i dont really say anything new or interesting here sorry. its not worth the read i just had to pour out my thoughts somewhere #pogaduchy

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bisexualize · 8 months

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Top 5 of your favorite boba orders (Gathering information for when you are back :3)

hee hee hee :) hehehehe :) well ill have to get your favorite orders at some point just you wait.

first of all tbh i like pretty simple flavors and when paired w boba, i dont rly like fruity drinks. so tied for first place are my two things that i always order if idk what to get and its jasmine green tea w boba and classic black milk tea w boba :) if its good these ALWAYS HIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

btw i miss japanese gong cha milk tea so bad its not the same in the US :(

2. matcha milk tea w boba :) always so delicious and scrumptious matcha is just good in everything

3. thai milk tea w boba. i don't get this super often but i really like thai tea

4. oolong tea or black tea w boba... i like just the classic tea flavors.......

5. help theres like nothing else that i usually get. i like boba drinks to be more refreshing rather than super heavy so im not a big fan of things such as tiger sugar or lots of cream or anything

#i loooove you lux thank youuuuuuuuuu #ask #I LOVE BOBA!!!!!!!

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audible--silence · 6 months

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They’re probably racist but like at least u know

Its america dude

“You buy my ticket n ill go”

“You buy my uber n i’ll go”

The methods i use in my mind to make sense of the world get more and more complex and harder and harder to find people who relate to them

The decision not to care is a luxury afforded only to the fortunate and the fools.

Existence is a crime in that house

The wheels of society would move much slower if men like you were behind the wheel

“Man i think life will stop throwing you curveballs when you stop hitting them out of the park. Cos yaknow, evidence suggests you can fkn handle one”

“What are you drinking?”

“Water”

“Why is it yellow with a chilli salt rim?”

“He was the coolest motherfucker you ever met. Even in a wheelchair.”

“You idle at 100 in NY”

I will let sleeping dogs lie. But if the dog is awake and coming for me, you bet i will be swinging at it

Haha the only difference between god, magic and science is what you choose to believe in

Dunbassery n essex st stn

“People are delusional, and im kinda jealous”

Every day ends in y. Out here, most of them end with “why?”

New York is a city just big enough and just diverse enough to convince people it is the world. And to some, it is.

Ima bout to dragonball z this boy

“I like large parties. There isnt any privacy at small parties”

Just saw a kid duck the turnstiles to enter the subway and open the emergency exit gate for their mum. These two are goin places.

People are more alive here

When you gotta fight and hustle to survive, you dont wind up with a bunch of whining drones whinging of this and that, and feeling discontent. You end up with a hungry, eager mob. Keen to get out of the grind

“Let me know when you’re back and we’ll paint the town gin, vermouth and campari red”

“We have a fuckin dog in a backpack do ya think were jewish?”

I got a taste of it, but not enough to satiate the taste I got.

The flavor and character of this place have me wanting to dive in and devour and figure it out.

I love perth but theres no mood. No vibe when you walk outside.

Here, anything can happen, every day.

There, you have to try hard as hell to make anything happen at all

New yorkers take no shit, believe no bullshit and waste no time. The stereotype is they’re a bunch of cunts. I disagree. The picture i have of these people now is that they are a population of veterans. Lifes veterans.

Living in this city ages you a week where other people live a day. You get pretty sick of people taking their time to find their wallet in line when you’re trying to make your next dollar to pay rent. Time is valuable to these folks.

They simultaneously understand that the secret to survival and to not going insane is to be kind.

People open doors for each other, give money to buskers, pay the homeless, tip more, use manners, hold open doors, let people go first, hold up a train for a stranger, let someone else have the seat and all the rest.

They know this gets other’s through the days and they appreciate when others do it for them.

So what you end up with is a city of good cunts who take no shit.

My type of city.

The rich cunts though still got nothing better to talk about than sex and capitalism

“Listo para lucha?”

Peer pressures only a bad thing if you’re a weak willed idiot with bad friends

Well, aint one of us miserably broke optimistic pricks ever had the better half of a clue what was goin on with this circus of an existence so i guess we’ll all just keep getting out of bed and deciding to find and follow our old faithful ways of keeping it all together

To be human is to lack

I may be thinking about that song for a while. The sound an NYC train makes when grinding up against the tracks as it starts to move. The whistle that starts low then moves high then meets an equilibrium somewhere in the middle.

The deal sealed as the J train sped by me at Kosciuszco st stn and as i stared at it in a moment of reflection, realizing this may be one of the last times i ever see the sight, as it passes me, on the back, is a man. Holding on. Streched wide like a starfish, arms out holding on. Hangin in. Getting where he’s going.

And as i walk off the stairs and stand in front of the smoke shop, the little caesers, the taco truck, 99c store, deli and the gourmet grocer, i think back on how i felt when I first got off this train, with my bags on me and scared. Nervous about this new place, thoughts in my head of Mexico and my dry as wallet.

Turns out after nine months away, three of them here, im a little less forgiving, a little more direct and a lot more seasoned. Ready for whatever i put myself to next. I’m just not allowed to forget that I am responsible for what that will be and NO GOOD THING COMES WITHOUT EFFORT.

As the lil blue dot on the map finally approaches the city I’ve shown to so many people on the same map this year, I get a glimpse of yellow land. Dust and dirt and trees and blue blue skys.

The nose tilts down the gears come out.

Im home.

After nine months. Whether it feels like it or not.

Time to reshape home.

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meowlimia · 2 years

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ed update/semi vent

hola 6/22 2:38 am tw obviously

feeling like dog shit feeling so fucking bad. i cant stand being so fucking fat i cant stand it i need to fucking lose the weight immediately. i know i need to go for starvation but its so hard to say no to the b/p brain. I DONT WANNA BE MENTALLY ILL ANYMORE I WANNA BE FUCKING SKINNY THEN DIE

also people on edtwt are the most annoying creatures i have ever met. just shut up my god, its depressing to go through your posts and see that your whole life revolves around your taco bell job, how horny you constantly are, and your partner that u literally CLEARLY emotionally abuse.

rage not over quite yet. i can feel my family PLOTTING AGAINST ME. they have to they have to be why else would my brother 4/4 days go into the bathroom the SECOND i need to purge everything. fucking cunt. ive had to purge in bags outside at night 3 times this week. one wasnt even in a bag i had to go into the backyard and do most of it onto the ground while getting stung by a million bugs.

HE DID IT AGAIN TODAY. i ate some potatos with cheese because im stupid and thought theres no way it happens AGAIN today. well it did. and he took so fucking long getting out that all i gut up was bile and a couple chunks. so im just not gonna eat today i guess, cant chance it happening again.

ive been eating less in general, nothing is really good anymore, i just want to be skinny so bad then i can eat whatever i want and maintain weight. i feel like everyones mad at me and hates me. i just want to buy clothes then end it all. i cant survive this, its so hard to even get up.

all ive been doing the past few days is drinking gatorade and eating potatos. i dont know what to do with my life anymore.

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vividaway · 2 years

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Alyssa you've made edits between you and Gabbie you also made fake accounts pretending to be Jessi i honestly don't get how you can morally stan Gabbie after everything she's done. The Jessie situation the rachel joey no wonder she's making tiktok videos to get attention you siding with her on EVERYTHING is the defenition of a parasocial relationship.

ill address your shit but first lets chat <3 so i was able to get into my PCP and i found out that most of what i was told in the ER wasnt accurate. the doctors did their best, but they are spread so thin that they cant BEGIN to figure out whats wrong. when i was in the other hospital, they did a lot better and its where i got the best treatment.

i was actively given information that was just. complete bullshit, and this is a HUGE HUGE HUGEEE RED FLAG because i was loaded up with enough opioids to end up going through withdrawl, despite there being other options.

your "claims"

i've made purposfully horrible edits to mock anti's in 2020, yes. and i plan on continuing to make them to piss off the anti's (just like you) until the day i die.

you guys can believe that account was me all you want, it wasnt. whatever fills your deluded fantasies at night, and keeps you coming back to me.

3. the definition of a parasocial relationship is "one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence."

and yes, i DO have a parasocial relationship with gabbie! thankfully i'm aware of that, and i'm able to vibe with a large variety of people in the fandom, and we as a collective have all moved on.

speaking of friends, i have plans this week to buy expensive drinks because its practically ~summer time~ and what ELSE do you do in the summer? ceviche and midori tea's, thats what. there are SO many good movie's playing in theater, and so many good shows being played in theatre. there are so many little events i can go to if i want, and something about that makes me SO happy.

i love window shopping. some people get the thrill from actually BUYING clothes, but i get the thrill from just SEEING them. i cant help but imagine all the stores that have opened during the pandemic that i dont know about. all the little pop up shops that work based off of word to mouth-- i have a LOT of exploring to do.

i also REALLY need a hair cut. my hair is the longest its been since i was 13 years old, and it really causes me dysphoria. i'm worried about getting my old hairstyle though, because i've lost over 70 pounds since then, and i dont know how it'll look on me now.

lets talk about the JS situation.

that has NOTHING to do with me supporting and believing gabbie. it has everything to do with being sent private emails detailing information i should have NEVER seen, and it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that they will twist a narrative to make sure they can paint themselves in a better light.

with joey, gabbie AVIDELY STATED OVER AND OVER that she was the asshole, and was just venting. if a mentally ill person venting triggers you THAT heavily, you probably shouldn't watch their content.

something else about my life recently: i really fell in love with nostolgiacore. the feeling, the colors, all of it. i cant explain one emotion it makes me feel, but its honestly almost this suffocating feeling-- this feeling of anticipation and excitement welling up in my chest. it brings back a LOT of good memories, and i'll take that anywhere i can get it.

i like that there are different genre's to it. you have childhood nostolgia, 2000s nostolgia, 90's nostolgia, kidcore/toy nostolgia, internet/web nostolgia, and then theres the venting aspect of it.

its a really creative and interesting side of tumblr, and i'm honestly SO glad to be apart of it.

on our last topic of gabbie.

gabbie makes tiktoks because gabbie believes in humanitarianism, spiritualism, religion, and affirmations. the same message as previous applies: if a mentally ill person making tiktoks triggers you THAT heavily that you go out of your way to try to get in contact with said persons fans, maybe, JUST maybe, you shouldnt watch their content. that just seems like common sense to me 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

you honestly come off as nothing more than a fan. you call me co-dependent, but you're going out of your way to not just know all about gabbies drama, not just interact with her fans-- baby you know MY DRAMA. you know MY HISTORY. you ARE a fan, whether you like it or not. you know gabbie, you interact with her fanbase, you are NO different from me.

#//twitter #//gabbie hanna #//drama #what up babe <3 #ask #answered #alyssa talks #alyssa posts

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slothgiirl · 2 years

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a rose by any other name iii

prev. //// next.

druig x reader reincarnation au. tw: references to sexual assault, r/pe, and domestic violence. nothing graphic bc theres enough of that irl that i dont want to add to it in a fictional escape.

Athens 461 BCE

You lie in bed next to your mistress. She’s of an age with you, Xenia. You had grown up with her after you had been taken from your homeland, bought and sold in Athens. “We could leave,” you whisper because her husband is away on business and it’s a beautiful idea even if it’s impossible to do. “Go somewhere you can walk around the markets in.” Women in Persia were freer.

Xenia laughs, “yes, and take the boys. We could learn how to swim and go listen to music!”

You nod, smiling, “I am sure our pottery would be enough to live on.”

“You mean your pottery,” she giggles. “All my figures look like a child’s attempt.”

“Well,” you laugh because she is right. You cannot tell between her goat and centaurs, “your amphorae are much better than mine.”

“Then let’s go,” she nods, “across the sea. Persia sounds much better than here.” Women could go out and live there. Not like here.

Lucky, you reminded yourself, you were lucky. This household was not so bad. There were worse places, the brothels for one.

“Okay.” You nod, reaching for her hand. She was more a sister to you than the vague memories you held of your own family.

****

After Galen is done with you, you focus on the ceiling, your eyes trace the tiles laid onto the wall behind him as he stumbles. A cloud of wine encircled him.

This was nothing like the fun fumbling you'd had with the servants, where you had wanted to. There’s a nauseating slimness you feel after.

It’s over.

He slurs all his words, making little sense. More than likely, Galen imagined he was having a conversation with other men from the gymnasium. For you, he had little to spare apart for the occasional-

You don’t dare speak and recapture his attention.

Galen was not a violent man and was content to spend his days in the business of importing and exporting from other cities. For that, you were grateful to Ahura Mazda. Your gods had not completely abandoned you.

He leaves you be, nearly tripping over a step on his way to his room.

You release a breath. Tomorrow you would be sure to drink the concoction to stop any life from taking root.

***

“I have no clue why he won’t just leave again,” Xenia complains, a veil obscuring most of her face, including the bruise she’d received from her husband for asking too many questions.

She holds your arm as you walk up the steps to the temple overlooking the city. You hated making this trek. It had nothing to do with your dislike of their gods, of Athena and Zeus and whoever else, but the height made you nervous. You were convinced you would fall and die far below. Sometimes, you could feel the pain blossoming across your bones, like the ringing of a bell.

“Hector,” you ask your household guard, Xenia could not be out without a male guardian, “you wouldn’t happen to know why Galen hasn’t left on business again?”

The boy, for he could barely be six and ten, stammers, “uh-um, I’ve heard he’s looking to go further this time.”

You exchange glances with Xenia.

Further?

That would mean months of travel, maybe even years! Maybe even a storm? Any sort of illness could be caught abroad.

She smiles, “how lucky I am to have such a successful husband.”

You laugh, covering your mouth with your hand.

Hector looks unsure what to say, his hand going to his sword hilt as you finally enter the temple complex.

The knot of anxiety in your chest eases up.

A statuesque blonde woman twirls a sword in hand. A crowd forms around her as a man with dark hair and a kind look grins, his own sword in hand. “I cannot say I like swords very much,” he calls out to the woman people say is Athena herself. A sign that Athens was meant to rule the entire world from Ethiopia to Persia.

“Too bad,” when she grins it is all teeth, “do not think I will go easy on you.”

“I would never ask you to,” he calls out to her.

Their swords clash, a deadly dance. She teases him, blocking and stepping so close their bodies brush each other, before moving away, keeping the fight going.

He is good with a sword, but nothing like her.

For the woman, the sword is an extension of her, as natural as her own limbs.

Jealousy sits in the hollow of your mouth. If you could fight like that, no one would ever take you again. You’d never have been taken to start with. You could do as you wished.

Xenia tugs on your arm, “come, let us burn the offerings.” She had brought delicacies of dried fruits and nuts.

You nod, turning away from the pair.

They seemed like ordinary people, if well trained with fancy swords. It could all be smoke and shadows, like the puppet shows you sometimes walked past in the market. You weren’t sure what to make of the claims.

“Already,” Hector asks, captivated by the pair, reluctant to leave.

Xenia smiles, “I think the temple is safe enough. Wait here.”

The guard nods. He makes no effort to hide how invested he was as the woman slashed her blade against the sturdy man’s armor.

You and Xenia venture further into the complex, where the fire raged day and night. Only the priestesses were allowed in the temple proper. You hoped they stayed there. They were always full of rubbish advice, pretty words that meant nothing.

While the pillars were white, the statues popped. Their colors were saturated and vibrant. You just wish you weren’t so high up.

Xenia leaves your side, adjusting her veil as she nears the fire.

You stand back. You had no reason to pretend to be pious like some people. The Athenians had taken you from your homeland already; you would not give them everything.

She tosses the food in, her words indistinct from this distance.

And finally, you can leave.

“It’s almost worse walking down,” you admit, clutching Xenia’s hand tightly.

“I’ll be sure to submit a complaint,” she teases, “build the next temple somewhere with no steps.”

Hector says unhelpfully, “next time we could leave her behind Miss.”

“Why,” Xenia asks.

Hector blushes.

You laugh. For a moment, you forget your fear of heights.

***

Galen leaves.

You whisper a prayer at the hearth, please, Ahura Mazda, let him die. There were plenty of merchants already. Surely, this one could be lost in a storm.

They had never listened to you before. They had no reason to start now.

***

You walk through the market with ease, no longer stressed about leaving Xenia alone with her husband. There were no real excuses for bringing her with you. Athenian women were not meant to be seen.

As a slave, at least, you were not holed up in a house.

The basket is full of produce. The cook had given you strict instructions and you were always one to demand a pristine bunch of grapes. You wouldn’t tolerate anything that even hinted at a bruise or worse, mold.

A basketfull of produce and you can barely see over it.

It’s no wonder you crash into someone else. Not that it’s your fault.

“Shit,” you kneel on the ground, scrambling to pick everything up even as some jerk crushed the basil leaves under their sandals. It wasn’t your fault. They should have seen where they were going even if you hadn’t.

You reach for the wrapped block of feta.

Someone else reaches it first.

“Here,” a deep voice with an accent you can’t place says, handing you the bundle.

You look over.

The man has the most beautiful blue eyes you’ve ever seen: wide and kind as he holds out the feta to you. He’s pale like a gaul. Full lips, a strong nose, and lines delineating his features give his face a striking character that leaves you awestruck. He’s no bronze sculpture with their perfect symmetry. Nature was far more interesting and handsome.

The sight of the man fills your heart up with something you had once known but long forgotten.

He stills.

You watch the surprise blossom on his face.

You swallow, snatching the feta bundle. “You should watch where you’re going,” needing to say something so you didn’t come off like some tittering maiden. The milkmaids might as well have been a chorus of giggles.

He smiles, eyes crinkling, “I think you should take your own advice my beautiful, beautiful lady.”

His words go right to the pit of your stomach.

You stand. Brushing the dirt off your tunic only smudges the cloth as you try and get ahold of yourself. You needed to get back to Xenia. “Thank you,” you nod.

“My name is Druig,” he tells you, the smile on his well formed mouth never wavering.

Sunshine turned the brown of his hair bronze.

Not wanting to be rude, you tell him your name, hastily shoving everything you’d saved into the basket, “Good day,” you excuse yourself.

He nods, standing.

You turn on your heel, already knowing the cook was going to have a fit when she saw the state of the produce.

You feel his heavy gaze on you as you walk away back to the villa.

Risking a look, you peer over your shoulder, looking back.

Druig was still gazing at you. He didn’t look away when your eyes found his. There was no hint of bashfulness.

Heat rose to your cheeks.

Your heart pounded in your chest. You weren’t scared. In your gut, you knew he would never hurt you. You trusted your instinct.

***

You dream of distant lands. Sand and pyramids and an endless river that cut through the landscape in hues of green and blue. In your heart, you know it to be Egypt, a land you’ve never seen: a land you’ve only heard of.

You dream of gold and jewels and kind blue eyes.

The dreams remain just as clear when you wake.

***

The boys were still young enough that they ran around the villa, waving wooden swords and playing with their mother. Xenia fended them off with a stick. “I shall curse the beautiful goddess,” she waved at you.

The boys laughed as you pretended to cower from your oldest friend, “oh no! Who will save me!”

“I will!”

“Me!”

“Take this,” they jabbed at Xenia.

With Galen off to Iberia, life was a dream.

She fell to the floor, “oh no! I’ve been struck-death,” she lets her head fall back, eyes closed.

You laugh, picking up her youngest, Leander, and spinning him around, “my hero,” you press a kiss to his cheek.

***

As sure as the sun rises every morning, Druig waits for you at the drinking fountain.

Empty, the amphorae barely weighed anything.

“Good morning my beautiful lady,” he smiles, falling into step with you.

“I’m no lady,” you roll your eyes.

“But you agree you are beautiful,” he smirks, looking too smug for his own good.

You find yourself smiling, looking away for a moment as you wait for your turn. “Modesty is so boring.”

Druig chuckles, “I reckon you’ve never cared for Helen and Ariadne.”

“You forgot Psyche,” you point out. “And those are just stories. If you’re good at baking you're not going to say you're bad just to be humble. How else will you get customers?”

“But you do know the stories?”

“We women occasionally do more than gossip,” you tease.

“Oh believe me,” he shrugs, “I know. My-,” Druig pauses finding the right word, “elder sister is fantastic with a sword and no one has a better eye than Makkari when it comes to exotic goods.”

“I thought only spartans let their daughters fight?”

You fill the first jar.

“We’re. . .my family comes from a distant place.”

“I think I would like it there,” you comment. You’d like it anywhere that wasn’t here. You’d take Xenia and the boys and build a life where you could live and go out and dance and sing and no man would ever tell you something again. Persia or beyond.

Pain passes over Druig for a moment and you wonder what you could have said.

“Here,” you gave him one of the jars. Might as well take advantage of having him here. His presence was soothing.

Druig takes it, pouting with his eyes as well as his lips, “if I must,” he drawls.

You bump his shoulder with yours, “oh, count your lucky stars I’m not making you carry both.”

“What makes you so sure I would,” he smirks.

The skin of your cheeks burns, you look down at the second jar, you’d painted it. A pyramid and lines that could be rivers. “Don’t-there are other fountains you know.”

Druig tilts his head up, half challenge half promise, “and I’ll visit every one until I found you again my lady.”

You wonder what it would be like to kiss him.

***

“Let’s take the scenic route,” Druig tells you, holding the bolts of cloth captive. Xenia trusted your taste. You two knew each other the way only those who shared a childhood could.

“I have to get back! Druig,” you have no choice but to follow, laughing.

“Do you,” he asks, more seriously. You made no secret of your status. “Are you treated well?”

The question lingered in the air.

You look down at the cobblestone, “Xenia begged her father for me,” neither of you could bear the thought of parting. Like kittens, you had shared a bed since you had entered the household. “She’s the closest thing to family I have,” you explain, playing with the ends of your hair, before you grin, “we’re going to run away to Persia and open a pottery shop. She’ll do the actual pottery stuff. I’ll paint.”

Druig doesn’t smile. “So you’re treated well?”

Weren’t you?

You weren’t free, but no woman in Athens was. The men went about their business. The household was cheerful. Apart from bearing Galen, you were happy.

You didn’t like him looking so troubled.

“I’d say so,” you finally answer. “Who doesn’t have some complaints but overall, I’m happy.”

“Good,” Druig bumps his shoulder against yours.

You smile, wishing you could live in this moment.

Then you look out, over the end of the steps and clutch at his arm. “Oh gods,” you hated heights. You really did. The ground seemed to move further and closer in a dizzying manner.

“It’s alright,” Druig wraps an arm around your waist. “I’ve got you.”

“I always feel like I’m going to fall,” you try to laugh it off, your heart in your throat for an entirely different reason. He was pressed right against you, warm and solid. It was better than any daydream. “I know it’s silly.”

“I don’t think it’s silly at all,” Druig replies, leading you away from the view.

You look up at him, his breath tickling the skin of your cheek, “I used to have terrible nightmares about it. I‘d fall and-Xenia was always there for me. She’d hold me close til I stopped crying.”

“I’m sorry,” he’s properly holding you now, the cloth hanging limply from his hand as he wraps his arms around you.

“What for,” you shrug, “it wasn’t your fault.”

Druig brings his free hand up to caress your cheek.

You lean into his touch.

In his arms, everything felt right with the world. Your heart ached with how much you cared for him.

***

“We can’t,” you whisper between kisses, Druig’s hands grasp your hips, pressing you flush against his chest.

He leans away, “You don’t?”

“We’re in an alley,” you smacking him lightly, before trailing your hands up his chest and oh, your fingers thread through his hair and you press a kiss to his jaw. “We can’t,” you repeat. Your heart wasn’t really in it.

Your core ached. The sensation of Druig was overtaking any rational thought and frankly, you didn’t give much of a damn if someone saw you two going at it when he rolling his hips against yours, the sound of your moan lost as he recaptured your lips in a kiss.

“Okay,” he nods, not making any sense.

He lifts a hand, flicking it a bit in the air.

You’re more concerned at the shade of gold his eyes have gone. It was the exact same way gold shone when the sun over Thebes hit it. You frown. You’d never been there.

You’d never even heard of that city.

“Druig?” Your voice wavers.

What-was it true then? Did the gods of the Greeks walk around on earth? Meanwhile, your own gods were silent, far off, uncaring.

He looks at you then, “Sh, don’t-don’t be scared my beautiful lady,” he brushes his nose against your hair, “let me explain. Just give me a moment to explain.”

You’re in love.

Of course you nod. You kiss the corner of his mouth.

He melts at your touch.

The door to a villa opens.

“Leave us,” Druig orders, and to your astonishment, they do. The masters of the house along with the servants and slaves until it’s just you and him.

You take a seat, glancing around nervously.

He would never hurt you, your heart said. But your mind rebelled.

You try fixing your tunic.

“I-my family comes from far away. From another world,” Druig starts.

“Like the heavens,” you tilt your head, wondering if you were right. . .you weren’t sure what you would do if you were. Oh-how you loved him.

Your eyes stung.

“Please don’t cry,” Druig kneels down in front of you so that he’s at eye level. His eyes are back to their clear blue.

“What-I don’t understand.”

He runs his hands down your shoulders. “Like the stars. My-where my people come from is as distant as the stars. A planet called Olympia. My family, me, we’re part of a race called Eternals.” His hands on your arms ground you. “We all have a power of our own. Mine concerns the mind.”

Your fingers tremble in your lap.

“We’ve met before-haven’t we?” Your tears fall, you look up at the ceiling. The dreams that were not dreams at all.

He nods, leaning forward to rest his forehead on yours. “In Egypt, and Babylon.” Druig wipes the tears from your eyes.

“I don’t remember very well,” you admit.

“That’s okay.” He smiles.

“Is that all,” you ask, voice cracking.

“We were sent here by Arishem, to kill deviants but they’re all gone now. Now we’re,” he closes his eyes, jaw clenching, “I don’t know what we’re doing-waiting to go home?”

“Won’t-what if-,” you close your eyes, “people don’t live this long!” It was a lot to take in.

“Eternals do,” he explains. “We don’t age.”

You swallowed: the enormity of this too much for you to think through. Other worlds? Stars?

You push the thoughts away to focus on the man kneeling between your knees.

“Anything else you want to know. . .my love?”

You shake your head.

His wide blue eyes peering into yours, his words, they set your skin aflame. You had never wanted anyone more.

“May I kiss you,” he asks, his hands resting on your knees.

“I’d love that very much,” you smile even as the sweet pressure of anticipation builds in your core.

Druig’s hands trail up your thighs, pushing your tunic up. He smirks, meeting your gaze. “I want to taste how wet you are for me.”

You run your fingers through his hair and nod.

***

Galen comes back safe and sound.

The years have not been kind to him.

Drunk and happy, he approaches you.

You clench your jaw and bear it.

***

Druig’s smile falls when he sees the mood you’ve been in. Weeks and it hasn’t lifted.

“Okay, what’s been going on?”

“I have to get back,” you say instead, flinching away from him. You felt. . .you didn’t know how you felt. Ashamed. You didn’t want him to know.

With Druig, you wanted to be just you. Not a girl stolen from persia, a slave, none of that. Just you.

“Please-” he starts, brows furrowing with worry, “something’s wrong. It’s written clear as day.”

“I-,” you bite your bottom lip. You look away.

Around you, the city bustled. People went on their way. Dogs barked.

You didn’t want to say it.

You reach for his hand, bringing it up to your temple.

“Are you sure,” he asks?

“I am. Go ahead.”

Druig jerks away. Fury. Furious. “I’ll. kill. him.”

“Druig-”

“He’s dead,” he makes to start heading for the villa.

“It’s not a big deal,” you try. When Xenia’s husband left for another trip, everything would be fine. What woman didn’t deal with men taking liberties with them?

Druig’s eyes are glassy when he looks at you. “My love, no one should be allowed to hurt you. Especially not like that.” He clenches his jaw, “people shouldn’t own people. No slaves. None of it.”

You don’t understand.

“Come with me,” Druig implores you. “No one will hurt you again. You can do whatever you want.”

You believe him. He might tease and flatter, but he means every word he says.

But you think of Xenia and the boys.

“Only if she can come with me,” you utter quietly.

Druig blinks slowly. “Love-”

Which means no. You pull away, “I won’t leave her. She never left me.”

He frowns. “Then-let me send him away. Yeah?”

“Okay,” you nod.

***

Galen leaves.

Galen drowns.

***

The jar slips out of your hand. “Fuck,” it shatters spilling water.

“You should rest,” Druig says with concern, taking the other jar from you. “You look tired.”

Your skin was warm. Your bones ached. “I’m fine.” You didn’t want to be sick. “I’ll use a compress when I get back.”

He frowns, bringing the back of his hand up to your forehead. “You’re feverish.”

“Don’t say that,” you make a sign to ward off evil spirits. You refused to be sick. “I just woke up a little off.” You keep walking.

“So this just started,” Druig realizes quickly. “You should see a healer then. Now.”

“It’s nothing-” you wave off, “now come on, I’d like to have breakfast.”

***

Xenia rubs your back after you throw up. “I’ll send for a healer.”

“Keep the children away,” you tell her. “And-you shouldn’t be too close either.”

“Nonsense,” she squeezes your arm. “Let me take care of you, sister.”

***

Druig brings a woman with him when he visits.

You can barely sit up.

He wastes no time in wrapping an arm around your waist, supporting you against his chest as you sit.

She had dark brown eyes and even darker hair, the color of her skin like the people of Persia, tanned and rich. She frowns, “Druig,” she looks from him to you. “What have you done?”

His fingers drum against your waist, “Ajak, I have always followed your lead, even when I question you, I’ve always done as you ask, for the mission.”

Your eyes sting from keeping them open, head pounding. She must be another Eternal.

“Druig-”

“One thing-that’s all I ask of you,” he pleads, “just this one thing,” his voice breaks.

You turn to look at him, resting your head on his shoulder in a bid to comfort him. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

“You know we cannot interfere.”

“Ajak, please, heal her. I’ll-I can’t-I love her. She’s one human. I’m not asking you to alter the course of history here!”

The woman Eternal looks you over, there’s sympathy in her eyes, but the set of her face is unchanged. “Oh Druig,” she says gently, “to love and be loved is a special thing, but she is human. She was always going to die. You had to know that from the start.”

“Ajak-”

“I will not heal her. I will do as Arishem entrusted me to do.”

“Get out!”

“Druig-”

“Leave. I don’t want you here,” he spits out.

You raise your hand to his cheek, your thumb rubbing small circles onto his skin. “Everything’s going to be fine.” And. . .you smile bitterly, “we keep meeting like this after all.”

Druig holds you close.

You wish you could live in this moment forever.

note: druig guessed correctly that ajak might put up with him bringing a human to live with him but would draw the line at him taking in every human aka xenia and her kids. he also told galen to wait until night before jumping into the water and making the man drown himself. time is so vague in this fic but reader is in her early twenties and it takes place over a decade or so, maybe more if you want to think of it like that so they did get the chance to have an actual relationship this time around. not all angst even if it did end on that note.

i did read that the line between women and women slaves was thin because of the treatment of women in general and their close proximity to each other. also reader’s complicated thoughts on slavery, consent, etc is a reflection of the world view of that time period.

#druig #druig x y/n #druig x reader #druig x you #druig fanfiction #a rose by any other name

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sicjimin · 2 years

Text

A.N : ok this one is a really old draft of mine ... maybe from June? July? idk. been hesitating to post this bc i dont think this is good no matter how times i read it, but i want to empty my draft so here we go ,,, hope you like it ,, and again, this is just a general sickfic and not in anyway related to covid and theres no ill intention to post sickfic of seokjin ,,,

TW : emeto, graphic description of vomiting.

Seokjin hastily stumbles from the car, bringing his legs to the nearest bush he could see as he hunched over with a harsh gag. His stomach heaved violently, sending his breakfast splatter to the ground, covering the green grass below him. He didn't manage to catch a breath before another round of warm liquid slides from his throat. A hand suddenly wraps around Seokjin’s arm, steadying the older from completely falling over from the force of vomiting he did.

“Hyung? Are you alright?” Namjoon asks, worry evident in his tone. Seokjin nodded, unable to form any words due to nausea he was suffering through at the moment. “Can I… can I get a water?”

Namjoon nods, letting go of the elder’s arm and taking off in a run towards the car. He could see the other members staring worriedly about their hyung that suddenly got sick, but Namjoon successfully assured them and make them go into the building to prepare for their schedule.

Namjoon jogs to Seokjin that is still bent on his waist, it seems like nausea hasn't left him even though he already vomited a lot. Namjoon quickly stands next to him, handing him a bottle.

“Here, hyung. You should drink this slowly, okay?”

Seokjin takes the offered water bottle, gulps down and spats some of it.

"Are you feeling better hyung?"

Seokjin shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he could feel the water sloshing loudly in his stomach. It didn't take long before he bent further as he gurgles the water he just took along with his food out of his mouth. He wonders how can he still bring up more food?

Seokjin was left panting slightly as he felt the vomit leave his mouth, the taste leaving an unpleasant aftertaste in his mouth.

His arms were wrapped tightly around himself and his hands were fisted into the front of his hoodie, trying to keep his stomach from revolting again.

Seokjin could tell by the look of concern on Namjoon's face that the younger had no idea what to do or how to help. He just stands there silently while his hand rubbing Seokjin's arched back.

"You can go inside, Joon-ah", Seokjin croaked out. His voice was hoarse after all the vomiting he did.

The younger frowned, looking hesitant as if he doesn't really want to leave Seokjin right now, " No, how about you?"

Seokjin smiled lightly, "I'm fine, Joonie. I will go after you, I just need to make sure i'm not gonna throw up again"

"How are you even get sick hyung? Did you catch a bug? Or you have motion sickness?", Namjoon drifted the conversation.

Seokjin shook his head, smiling again. He stood up straight, wiping the sweat dripping from his forehead and the vomit that was lingering there after he was sure he won't throw up again. He looks at Namjoon who was also standing straight, giving the curious yet concerned look at the older. "No, I don't feel very well today, but i'm fine. I was surprised too"

The younger frowns, nodding his head. "Oh", he says, " Are you sure you're feeling better? I mean, our schedule is pretty hectic today. I can talk to the manager if you feel sick", Namjoon adds as they walk inside.

They reach the practice room where everyone else was waiting for them. They all stare at them when they enter.

Hoseok walks over to them, "Hyung? What happened?", he asks, concern clear in his tone. The others also came closer, eyeing him from head to toe.

Seokjin shrugs slightly, "Nothing", he replies, "I think I might be getting motion sickness"

"Are you gonna be alright? If you're feeling sick, maybe we should cancel our performance today. Let's just do the interview or photoshoot", Yoongi suggests.

Seokjin chuckles slightly, shaking his head," I think I'll be ok. Don't worry"

"Hyung, you sure you're alright? You look pale", Jimin approaches him after the camera is turned off for monitoring.

He looks at him, nodding slightly. "Yeah, I'm sure, Chim. I'm feeling a bit dizzy, I'm probably just dehydrated", he replied.

Jimin furrows his brows as he stares worriedly at Seokjin. "You know our offers to cancel some scheduled still stand, right? You need to rest, hyung"

"Yeah I know, Chim. I appreciate it", he said. " I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a bit, okay?", Seokjin smiles, patting Jimin's shoulder softly as he walks past the younger, heading outside.

"Hey, hyung? Where are you going? We gonna start again in few minutes", Taehyung asks.

Seokjin turns around, " Bathroom! I'll be fast!", he yells as he continues to walk. When he's sure he is already quite far from the member, he speeds his walk. He sighs in relief when all of the stalls were empty. He quickly walks in and locked the door.

"Fuck", he curses under his breath as let saliva drools from his lips. He's so nauseous. He grips his stomach tightly as he leans against the closed stall wall. He closes his eyes, trying to stop the bile from rising as the dryness in his throat worsens. But that's no use as he starts to gag which triggers the floodgates to open. He squeezes his shirt as he could feel the rush of liquid sliding from his throat, splashing loudly to the water below.

After a few minutes of throwing his guts up, he managed to stop. He pants as he flushed the soiled toilet. He runs a hand through his disheveled hair as he tries to calm his breathing. Taking a shaky breath, Seokjin opens the stall door only to find Yoongi standing there, " I know you're sick, not only had motion sickness. For fucks sakes hyung you never caught motion sickness"

"I know", he grunts. "Sorry", he mutters as he walks to the sink and rinses his mouth, trying to get rid of the evidence of sickness from his face. Yoongi followed him, still frowning, " Hyung, just go home. I will go with you. You're sick"

"Yoongi", he sighed, " I'm fine. Really. And besides, we still have to record our performance"

Yoongi pursed his lips, "But, Hyung-"

"I'll be fine", he interrupted the younger.

Yoongi huffed, running a hand through his unruly locks, "I hate it when you're stubborn", he muttered. Seokjin chuckled slightly, "I love it". Yoongi scoffed, " I won't help you if you faint"

"No, i won't faint, Yoongichi", Seokjin grins. He wrapped his arms around the younger that still grunt as they walk back to the set.

"Yoongi-ah, please don't tell the others, okay? I don't want them to worry", Seokjin says before they go to their seat.

Yoongi lifts his eyebrow, " Why? They are allowed to worry"

"Just dont, okay?"

Yoongi rolled his eyes, "Okay, but you must tell me if you're gonna be sick. Update me every time you fell off and i'm changing my seat beside you"

"Alright, alright", Seokjin mumbles, "I promise"

"Good"

"Yoongi .. i think i need to go home", Seokjin groans quietly, placing his elbow on his knees as he catches his breath. To Yoongi's surprise, the older really managed to go through half of their schedules. It's either he's really good at hiding how he feels or his body just simply cooperates. Yoongi slides to the couch, sitting right to Seokjin, " That's what I've been waiting to hear. You already look one second to fall over hyung"

Seokjin huffs, "I know"

"I will tell Namjoon first, okay? Then we go home"

Seokjin nods, leaning back and closed his eyes, "Be fast"

Seokjin didn't know when exactly he falls asleep and for how long. All he knows is Yoongi wakes him up, dragging him to go home, and he feels worse. They spend the rest of the ride back home in silence as Yoongi knows his hyung is too tired to talk. He glances over Seokjin that has his eyes closed and leaned to the window.

"Hyung, how are you feeling?"

"Tired and dizzy", Seokjin mumbled.

"I thought i will hear " I'm fine" again", Yoongi teases as he rubs the older arms gently. It breaks his heart to see his cheery roommate all pale and weak like this.

"You're lucky i'm sick, Yoongi-ah", Seokjin mumbles. Yoongi chuckles slightly, "Come here", he pulls Seokjin closer by the arm. He slings an arm around Seokjin's shoulders, resting his cheek on top of Seokjin's head as the older laid his head on his shoulder.

" You're burning up",

Yoongi remarks as he looks down at Seokjin.

"Am i though?" Seokjin hums, his eyes are now closed.

" Yes, hyung".

They both stay quiet for a moment. Yoongi thought the older was sleeping as he could only hear steady breathing from him, until he feels Seokjin squirmed under his arms, "Yoongi, do you have a bag?"

Yoongi eyes widen, "Shit, we're only a few blocks until we arrived, can you hold back?"

Seokjin frantically shakes his head, he belches into his palm, just proving to Yoongi that he's really gonna be sick.

Yoongi curses under his breath and starts rummaging his backpack. He sighs in relief when he manages to find a paper bag from the fast food he bought yesterday. He quickly opened it and shove it under Seokjin's mouth.

He winces when he feels the bag getting filled on his grip as Seokjin vomited into it. His other hand held onto Seokjin's shoulder to keep him upright as he retches. After a couple of minutes, Seokjin finally stopped vomiting and took deep breaths to try to regain control over himself.

"I'm sorry", Seokjin croaked out. Yoongi sighed, "It's fine, Hyung", he whispers soothingly.

"We are home now, lets get you clean up and rest", he murmurs. He slowly helped Seokjin walking inside.

The rest of it went blur for Seokjin, suddenly he was already tucked in bed with clean pajamas.

He almost drifted into sleep when he sees Yoongi enters with a tray of food and medicine.

"Hyung, don't sleep yet, try to eat some food and take your medicine. I make you soup"

Seokjin nods. He grabs the spoon and drinks the broth. As soon as he finished the bowl, he placed it aside and curled up under the covers.

"I'm gonna turn the lights off and then turn back the covers. Goodnight, Hyung", he whispered to Seokjin.

" Yoongichi", Seokjin calls out before the younger stand-up. The youngest hums questioningly. " Thank you. Please tell the others i'm sorry for interrupting our schedule", Seokjin tells him, slightly pouting when he remembers that some of the interviews or shoot that got postponed when he asks to go home.

He groans when Yoongi flicks his feverish forehead, "No. Tell them yourself and you will get another round of forehead flicks from them"

Seokjin pouted harder, " Fine"

"Just rest hyung. You're saying that like we only work together for few months. You know they will barge in here and smoother you with cuddles once they got home, right?"

#bts sickfic #bts emeto #tw emeto #tw vomit #caretaker!yoongi #sick!seokjin #caretaker!namjoon

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nuclearnerves · 3 years

Text

INCOMING VAMPIRE AU THOUGHTS

Don't mind me I'm finally getting the ideas I had on this shit out so I can actually go forward with developing it as an AU. It's my usual mixup of fps protags, Gordon Guy and John, but I'm starting with Gordon as the Vampire and Guy as the Vampire Hunter.

absolute beast of a wall of text under the cut

What If Being A Vampire Literally Sucks All The Time Forever like chronic pain sucks. like THAT level of sucks. Like Here's what I was thinking of. Being a vampire isn't just "being alive forever but you need to drink human blood" It's like Oh man I have some lore you look at vampires and their main thing is that they're blood suckers right so lets start with a corpse dead body. cadaver. no longer with us. just some rotting meat. The brain needs oxygen as fuel. The blood supplies the oxygen through blood. The blood is pumped through the heart. The blood is made by your bone marrow. You die. Your heart stops beating Blood stops pumping Brain no longer has oxygen to think marrow stops making blood thats standard! Now, becoming undead, as a vampire, is a little more complicated. The long and short of it is: your body is FIGHTING ACTIVELY to be alive against all odds and wins every time (immortality), but it hurts the whole way

I have the gist of it. It's like. Your heart stops. By all means, you should be dead. but the magic kicks in, and you're still thinking. Your brain is still sending signals to your muscles to move. But using what oxygen to move? whats burning in you? You don't know but you know it's just enough to get to your next meal. So you ferociously eat something, and then find you can't swallow. You can't make saliva. You barely have the energy to chew, and once you DO get something in your stomach, it immediately comes back up. Why can't you feel your pulse? What's going on? You're out of options so you figure you might as well just lie down and die. You're too tired to keep going anyway. So you do, you lie down, and you close your eyes, and you quietly hope that death is as peaceful as sleep. You realize you've actually been moving around without breathing, which makes sense because you can barely flex your diaphragm for more than a shaky wheeze. How are you thinking with such little oxygen? But as you fade from consciousness, you can feel something in you, and it's so upset, it's crying, it's filled with grief, and you instantly can tell it's your skeleton. It's your bones. You're distraught down to your marrow. You're dying. You're dying! Your heart stopped and you have no more blood! You need blood! You need blood to move! To breathe! To think! You try to breath deep again for the voices in your bones, trying to comfort them, to sooth them with the repetitive motion in your lungs, trying to fill yourself with anything but grief, but they keep wailing. We make the blood, our creation, our child, what we put all of our work into is gone! gone! gone! We need it back! Anything! All of it! Find it! Bring it back to us! We're hungry! WE'RE HUNGRY!

and once you find yourself too exhausted to listen, to think, how badly you wish just to die already to cease hearing this wailing, you find your body moving without you. And it's hungry and it's searching and it's crawling on all fours and it misses its beautiful red life that made it feel so full before and it needs it back, and the next thing you know you're desperately grabbing anything with blood in it and shoving it in your mouth in a desperate attempt to sooth this cry for life, you don't want to die, you don't want to die, you worked so hard to keep up this body and craft it and LIVE with it and you're not going to go, and even when you try, even when you try to lay down and die, your body refuses, it takes the reigns, and it keeps up the work itself with or without your help. And it's not until your stomach is full and your teeth are stained and you feel a pulsating burning in your bones that you snap back awake, completely conscious, just fine. You're lucid, you don't feel any more pain. Everything around you is dead and drained and messy and your heart still isn't beating. but you can breathe now and holy shit you guess you literally need to kill to survive and the less you eat and the more you starve yourself the worse it gets when your body finally decides to take recourse.

my idea was like. "the vampires curse is actually stored in the bones, thats why the teeth get so sharp and also theres a connection between blood and bones with the creation via bone marrow" its literally like i was sitting there thinking "no no no, whats it like to be a vampire. what neurosis would you develop. How would you panic? What are common mistakes beginner vampires make" which, by the way, gordon is a beginner vampire

so now you gotta factor, what blood lasts for how long? how long can you go between meals? not only that, but what creatures satisfy the urge? How long can you go avoiding human blood? Does it work like drugs where you develop a resistance to the high, or is it like food where it will keep you moving until you eat again? How the fuck are you gonna get your hands on blood? Can you just eat raw meat? Does that count? and thats where im at lol

OKAY now. now thoughts on beginning scenes of vampire au

So my idea was this Doomguy is a vampire hunter independent and one of his buds says that some freak scared and almost attacked his daughter when she got too close to his old abandoned laboratory up the hill and hes like “he might be… you know… a problem. if you needed a lead” and guys like yeah i fuckin hate the undead ill kill this dude so he busts into old lab space and sees so many dead animals its actually mostly Bones and pelt that hes seeing piles of feathers etc so hes like yeah this is all telltale signs of vampire uhhh hes introduced to gordon SOMEHOW im not totally sure of the details but the working idea i have is guy falls into a trap gordon devised that restrains him suspended in wire or something and gordon like. limps/stumbles into the room and this dude looks haggard he’s breathing heavy, his cheeks are hollow, he’s bug-eyed and shaking while looking at this massive wall of meat in his trap and he bares a bunch of hideous teeth and grits them and looks like hes really struggling with somethin... Like if these dudes don't know each other then Gordon might give in and try to drain Guy, and Guy would absolutely do anything in his power to turn this new vampire into ash, im thinking the inclusion if g-man as a coven leader can fix both issues.

i like the idea of guy falling into gordons trap and gordon thinking about what to do with him before gman shows up and whisks gordon away for a “meeting” while complimenting him on his good work catching the most feared vampire hunter in the country and gman just leaving guy suspended in wires that he has to fight his way out of. Instant situation defuser.

Guy ends up needing to take care of other monsters before going back to Gordon, and he DOES plan to go back to gordon, because no vampire is a good one, especially not one associated with the fucking head of a coven, but next time he sees Gordon, Gordon helps him out of a scrape by attacking and draining a combine who was going to take Guy out or something and escaping before Guy can catch him, or otherwise seeing Gordon do something good with his insane undead powers and like, the third time he meets up with him is when they can actually talk, and Gordons fuckin SO haggard, he’s not even fighting back and he’s even going as far as to say “just make sure theres nothing of me left when you’re done, I don’t want anyone else getting hurt”

Side Note: Guy has a bunch of scarring on his body from dealing with vampires, cops, ghosts, werewolves, anything violent that kills people. I'm playing with the inkling of an idea that he has Divine Blood in him, so that any time something undead bites him or tries to drink his blood, it burns. We'll see.

Side Note 2: now i really like the idea of the combine actually being an organized faction of vampire hunters that are WICKED crooked and exploit people for all their worth in exchange for their “safety” when they kill a vampire They’re essentially loansharks and Guy fucking hates them and hates the name theyve given to vampire hunting

Side Note 3: You've probably noticed that I haven't said anything about John yet! He's in this too. His species is a surprise but I need to get to him later I have an idea for where he came from (Cortana too)

I still need a good reason for Guy to not instantly kill this vampire, if not it's just gonna be "Gordon Freeman escapes the countrys best vampire hunter like a seventh time" every time they meet and they end up being rivals. And it gives Guy enough time to look past the whole "undead monster" thing and start looking at the "Oh this dude figured out how to fight his ridiculous craving for blood in a way more humane than most and is actually staying out of peoples way and keeping to himself. Guess he's not that big of a threat but I still need to keep an eye on him in case he loses it. Turns out he's got a family (Probably Alyx, Eli, Issac and Barney) who's been lookin for him and cares about him as well, don't wanna hurt them". I like the idea of them ending up needing to team up to take out undead together.

And that's what I got so far!!!

#freeguy #gordon freeman #doomguy #vampire au #freeguy117

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forgiveness-in-the-misery · 3 years

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Toki’s Psychological State Through the Seasons

Toki is by far for me personally the most interesting member of Dethklok; I know to some degree he’s deemed as a potentially over hyped character by fans and even the show itself, but there’s countless reasons why people cling onto that character, and they’re good reasons. Even if said reasons just come down to “I think he’s neat.” that’s valid.

For me I am so fascinated with his character development, personality, and the varied chunks of background information we get about him throughout the series. A big part of this character is that when you look at him in season one compared to season four he is very different or at least he appears to be much different. Season one does establish that Toki does have a childish personality, his bedroom looks more like a room for a kid than one for a guy in his 20s. Season one establishes those basic facts about him that do heavily carry out through the show, but also increase as the show goes on.

Toki goes from immature but not overly immature to....a complete fucking wreck by the finale of season four (before Doomstar) and the reason for it is simple; it’s trauma.

Toki starts to act differently in season one after the Dethfamily episode; he spends practically that entire episode in a catatonic state, his parents always looming nearby like figures of danger and doom. After this we do get to him being bitter about being seen as immature and seen as the kid of the band (despite the fact he was barely 16 when he joined Dethklok) and when a charity informs him that a dying girl wants to meet him he turns into a complete prick. He finally comes out of that when he sees a video the kid made of herself singing a song about death and hatred, with that scene we see a small flashback of Toki’s childhood; him about the little girl’s age standing out in the snow staring up at his parents looking confused and a moment later he’s being smacked across the face.

We could already gather beforehand when we found out he came from a very devout religious sect outside of Lillehammer that his childhood was sketchy, plus how he locked up when around his parents, but seeing the flashback of him being hit as a little boy.....Answers the obvious question of “did they beat him?”

Season one is the least eventful of the seasons. Season two is when shit begins changing drastically.

Season two Toki receives a call to inform him that his father has cancer and is on his death bed, the family and the church wants him to return to Norway to see his father. He acts completely fine about this initially, the phone conversation and the way he announces his father’s terminal illness to the band is as if somebody just asked to borrow his car. When it gets close to time to actually go and when they are in Norway it’s different though; he becomes anxious and clearly uncomfortable, in Norway he stays in town mostly, stalling around places he went to as a kid and a teenager before he ran off to America.

He does handle his father’s dying well once he finally convinces himself to go inside his house and see him then follow through with his father’s dying request to carry him up to his old childhood home (which goes wrong because his friend’s are dicks.)

I am not going to go into personal detail at all and my situation was nothing like Toki’s (it’s incredibly rare to hear situations like that anymore), but Toki handling his father’s passing freakishly well kind of was a red flag for me, because I know from my own experiences that when you find out something complicated like a terminal illness or the death of your abusive parent theres’ a chance you may respond way too calmly to it, and then later down the line days or months or years later something will trigger a big reaction to it. Which is what happens.

After handling his dad’s death well we get the most iconic scene involving Toki at that point and honestly still the most iconic; he beats a man to death with his bare hands. The thing that triggers this is a hallucinated image of a rabbit, an animal he associates both with his father and his childhood, the image of it triggers him to fly into an insanely feral blind rage taking it out on a guy who had been annoying him all night. Toki has always throughout the entire series shown signs of being a tad violent, but never THAT bad. Sure he shot down a plane and had accidentally caused a death or twenty (the whole band is, it’s part of the sacrifices to the Gods deal) but we had never seen him before or after that moment beat somebody to death. That is new and it came from a place of pent up....shit. Shit he never worked through and even after that continued to not work through.

Because after this we lead into him worsening further; he begins drinking. A lot. The band consist of dudes with addiction issues, mainly alcohol, but Toki never seemed to drink quite as much as them until after he went feral on that straight edge guy.

Toki deals with his childhood trauma in several ways:

He drinks. A lot.

He focuses on fantasy and daydreams to keep himself from focusing on his past.

He spends a lot of time with Dr. Rockso who takes advantage of his kindness often, he also spends gross amounts of money bailing his clown buddy out of jail. Constantly.

He occasionally gets violent, but never to the point of manslaughter.

Seasons three and four are when we get fully introduced to Toki acting like a kid more than a guy in his 20s and it makes sense. Toki didn’t have a childhood; we learn that his parents essentially made him into a slave at a young age having him do pointless “chores” like sweeping snow during a storm, carrying stacks of wood much too heavy for a small child, etc. and when he failed to work quickly enough or failed a task they punished him. They punished him by locking him in a shed, they punished him by chaining him up like an animal, they punished him by smacking him, by beating him with a bull whip, and worst of all (who knew it could get worse) they would force him to stay for long periods of times in a deep hole dug into the ground. A hole where he hid a clown doll made of twigs and straw, the only friend he had as a little kid.

From all that we can gather through the show he didn’t exactly have a social life of any kind until his teens, the older he became the braver I think he became, and that was responded to with worse violence from his parents. I think the statement in season one about a vision of father killing son wasn’t totally off, I think if Toki had never run away from Norway that his father would have murdered him. I think his parents knew somehow that he isn’t entirely human, they knew he was something else, and I do think his parents had plans to kill him before he could become “too powerful”.

That aside though.....Once we the audience as well as his friends find out far more details about his horrifying childhood Toki changes. A lot. He’d already been immature and a tad bit off but he regresses further after that, more prone to depression and outbursts, clinginess, and a need to feel like he’s loved by pretty much anybody.

This is a dude who is about my age that came to the horrid realization that any person or animal he loves will die because that’s his “gift”, the gift of death. He works his ass off to repress and rationalize a brutally nightmarish childhood, and the guys he’s in a band with who he loves and sees as his family....are dicks. We know that when he joined Dethklok before they got famous that they were all close, but when they began becoming popular and became immensely wealthy the others became more focused on self indulgence and power, less focused on this still a child who desperately just wanted a family.

I think a key factor with Toki being the way he is comes down to the band’s “no caring” rule. A rule that only existed because of Magnus. Toki is the baby in a group of people who have known each other for a good while, people who came to an agreement to not give a shit about each other for a reason they never explained to him because it’s too painful for them to think about. I think he always tried to live by that rule of not caring, he tried to bury all the shit wrong with himself the best that he could but he was never good at it. It’s also clear they all care about each other and they definitely care about Toki; Nathan and Skwisgaar often being the most protective of him.

In season four aka the season where the show becomes less of a comedy and more of a drama with stunning animation. Toki is immensely more immature and awkward, he’s clingy with the band especially where Skwisgaar is regarded. Near the end of season four he’s completely fucked up; he splits his time between Rockso (his comfort object) and Magnus (a father figure to replace Nathan) in the dinner episode which has so much going on in it. So much. Toki is at his lowest point in the series; he shows up late, drunk as fucking hell, shirtless, and covered in bruises and cuts. Rockso is with him and when Charles tries to tell him Rockso shouldn’t be there Toki goes into a full fucking anxiety attack until Charles tells him it’s fine to have the clown there. Toki’s heavily dependent on Rockso by that point; his found family is quickly falling to shit. God knows what kind of shit Magnus might have been feeding him about the band at that point.

Toki’s entire thing from day one/the pilot of the series is that he just wants a family. When he feels like he doesn’t belong in the one that he found and was taken in by he searches for family in other places, when he can’t handle the memories of his childhood he spirals hard. I understand that the guys didn’t really know how to handle it after they heard about Toki’s childhood so I can’t fault them completely for just.....shoving him off onto Rockso after that, but I still think they should have tried to be there for him more so, more directly. I think an outlet that isn’t a drug addled clown might have helped him in some way, I think if when he’d been a teenager if one of them had found out about his upbringing and just pointed out “that isn’t okay, at all.” then things might have panned out differently.

Mental regression isn’t uncommon when it comes down to victims of trauma caused by extreme abuse. Especially considering his trauma all occurred basically from the get go; he was a child slave, the closest I would guess he ever got to having a childhood when he was a kid was seeing other kids childhoods. Going into town and seeing kids playing, sneaking into birthday parties just to be around other kids his age, etc. and he definitely was childish as a teenager, but I think he tried to bury that side of himself when his bandmates started teasing him or pointing out how unmetal it all is.....But then a douche bag journalist brought his parents to America, a little girl died, his abusive father died horribly (as he should) in front of him, he beat a man to death (allegedly), etc.

He spent a lot of years away from all the trauma and the death and the bull shit then suddenly it started piling on top of him again and his escapism was fantasy, clinging onto a junkie clown, partaking in childish hobbies.....because why not?

Each member of the band suffered some messed up shit when they were kids and it shows in different ways, this is Toki’s way of dealing with it....or not. I’m not entirely sure what his psychological state would be post Doomstar; the way he bounces back from immense trauma makes me think that he would be okay given some time and that’s a safe assumption to make, especially now that his bandmates/family will be there for him the way he needs them to be.

I want to tag @theidiotwiththepaintedface who hopefully will enjoy this painfully long deep dive into a character’s psychology lol.

#metalocalypse #dethklok #toki wartooth #character analysis #tw: child abuse

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cupidhaos · 3 years

Text

just how much i love you

pairing: hong jisoo x gn reader

word count: 3.2k

genre: fluff, slice of life, established relationship, non idol au

summary: you recall each time you realized just how much joshua loved you and decide to return the favor

warnings: mentions of illness

song rec: better | jeremy passion

a/n: YOOO im a day late i meant to post this yesterday for shuas bday but then it completely slipped my mind and i forgot that time was a thing and i was like CRAP so then i was like u know what ill post it tmrw bc i mean its technically still his bday and hes a from america so it still counts anyways enjoy this tooth rotting fluff

you already knew that joshua meant the world to you - yet there are just some certain moments that come to mind when you think back on it.

one of the first moments that you thought of was when he was playing the guitar.

“whatcha writing down there?” you ask curiously as you leaned over joshua’s shoulder, trying to take a peek at whatever he was scribbling down on his journal. as you rest your chin on his shoulder, you wrap another arm around his neck. a silent chuckle leaves joshua’s lips as he slowly closes the book - pushing it off to the side “nothing that you need to know of just yet”

pouting, a whine leaves your lips as you shake his shoulders back and forth “aw c’mon shuaaa - you’ve been sitting here all day playing your guitar and you won’t even let me know what you’re doing”

he moves to the side a little so that he was able to get a good look of your face. setting his guitar down on the table in front of him, he motions for you to sit down with him. once he realizes you won’t budge as long as that pout on your lips was there, he stands up to wrap an arm around your waist - pulling you over the couch as you loudly yelped in surprise.

joshua places you onto his lap as he sits back down. securely wrapping his arms around your waist as he looks up at you with large, apologetic eyes “i’m sorry - were you getting lonely without me?” he teases.

all you could do was scoff in response which joshua just laughs at. its quiet for a second before he speaks up again “i can’t let you see it just yet. it’s a surprise”

“can i at least have a hint?”

he smiles at your question, reaching over to grab his guitar that he left on the table. he places it on your lap, leading your hands to hold onto it with his own. you were glad he wasn’t able to see the blush that covers your cheeks as he guided your hands to the guitar chords.

leaning over your shoulder to look at your hands, you can feel his hot breath graze your neck, which causes goosebumps to spread through your body “place your finger right here on this chord, and just strum lightly - exactly like that”

after teaching you a couple more chords, he pulls his hands away from yours, causing a wave of disappointment to wash over you. turning to look up at him, you give him a curious look “what was that for?”

he just shrugs as he moves himself towards the end of the couch, a sly smile on his face the entire times. opening up his notebook, he starts skimming through the pages “just chords for the song that i’m writing”

“song?”

“mhm - for you”

your face immediately turns red at his response “what?! you’re writing me a song?! why!”

he gives you a look of genuine confusion “do i need any other reason asides from the fact that i love you? anyways - it’s not ready yet so you’re just gonna have to wait” was all he said before getting up and leaving.

“wait! you can’t just say that and leave!” you call out after him as he laughs.

“i just did!”

that was the first time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“y/n… whats that in your jacket?”

you freeze from where you stood in the tiny apartment that the two of you shared. it was raining outside, and you were drenched from head to toe. joshua gives you a questionable look as he crosses his arms, cocking up one of his eyebrows.

you slowly look up as you clutch your jacket to your chest, a dumb look on your face “my jacket? theres nothing in it other than me, myself and i” you reply back. his eyes squint towards you as you try your best to avoid his gaze “you sure?”

as you open your mouth to respond, you were cut off with a bark coming from inside of your jacket. moments later, a small puppy pops up from your jacket - wiggling its way out of your arms and jumping onto the floor. a sheepish look covers your face as you lean down to pick up the puppy “okay maybe i was lying”

joshua doesn’t even look shock at the news, only a tired sigh coming from his lips “i thought you were going to get groceries”

you kick your shoes off and you hold the puppy closer to your chest “i know i said that but! look at him shua! isn’t he so cute!” you ask him as you walk towards your boyfriend. he looks down towards you and the dog in your arms as he chuckles “you know that you can’t just pick up stray dogs and bring them home right?”

your shoulders slump at his reply, a pout forming on your lips “i mean i know that… but he was all alone in the rain and he looked so sad… i couldn’t just leave him there!”

he nods in understanding, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you closer “i know you had good intentions - but have you ever considered that our little friend has an owner already?”

turning towards the side, you pull the dog in closer “well they just left him outside all alone in the rain they’re obviously not a good owner” you say under your breath.

joshua points towards the dogs neck “isn’t that a collar? have you checked if they belonged to someone?”

“no… but!”

“we can’t just steal someone else’s dog - they may be upset right now”

a sigh leavings your lips as you lean forward to rest your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder “i know… but he’s just so cute!”

“i know he is, but he isn’t our dog. how about this - after we return him lets go to the shelter and see if we can get our own?”

you gasp loudly as you quickly turn to look up at him, eyes wide and filled with hope “really! do you mean it!”

joshua nods, a soft smile on his face “of course - but we still have to return him first okay?”

you nod your head quickly, noticing the fond smile that joshua aims towards you “what? what is it?”

all he does is shake his head, brushing off the question “nothing, you just look really cute right now” is what he tells you - quickly causing your face to heat up. he places a hand on your forehead as he leans in close, causing your breath to hitch.

“you feel warm - lets go change your clothes before we go back out. we wouldn’t want you getting sick do we?” he tells you as he pulls you on your head, dragging you towards your bedroom. you just nod shyly in response to his question as he laughs quietly at your reaction.

that was the second time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“joshua stay back! i don’t want you to catch -” you suddenly stop your sentence as you felt a sneeze coming up. quickly burying your face into your elbow, you let out a loud sneeze. joshua shakes his head at you as he pushes you back down onto the bed “shh, just let me take care of you”

feeling weak, you’re unable to even fight back “you’re always taking care of me though - it’s my fault that i got sick in the first place…”

joshua nods his head in agreement despite the offended scoff that leaves your lips “it is in fact your fault. i told you to dress warmly and bring an umbrella, and what did you do?”

“i didn’t dress warmly…”

“what else?”

“or bring an umbrella when it rained…”

he hums in acknowledgment as you places a wet towel on your forehead “i would say i told you so, but i think that you’ve learned your lesson”

a small frown appears on your face as joshua continued to scold you. you open your mouth to say something, but felt a pang in your head, causing a look of discomfort to now show on your face. a flash of worry appears on joshua’s features as you groan in pain “take it easy okay? don’t push yourself” he tells you as he hands you some medicine.

you place in the medicine in your mouth as you reach for the water, joshua’s already one step ahead of you. he brings the water up to your lips before you can even protest, helping you drink. once he pulls the cup away, you frown immediately “you don’t need to take care of me - you’ll get sick too”

he just shrugs at your comment though as he places the cup back down “i’m your boyfriend - why wouldn’t i take care of you?”

you’re about to retort back before he cuts you off with a quick kiss on the lips. you gasp loudly as you look at him in horror “joshua!”

joshua just laughs at your reaction “you can pay me back when i get sick by taking care of me. besides - if i wasn’t here to take care of you who would be?”

you’re unable to think of a response as joshua wraps his arms around you to pull you in for a hug “don’t worry y/n - i’ll always be there to take care of you” he reassures, causing your shoulders to relax.

a week later, joshua catches your cold.

“i told you that this would happen.” you scold him as you bring a spoon of soup up to his lips. he just smiles cheekily at you as he sits warm in bed “i told you you’ll be paying me back. but you don’t need to take care of me either - i was just joking really”

a light laugh leaves your lips at his comment. you place the bowl down and turn to look at him, grabbing his face with your hands “and like you said - i’ll always be there to take care of you too”

his face turned from surprised to one filled with adoration quickly as he gives you a toothy smile “then we’ll be taking care of eachother until we’re old and wrinkly”

that was the third time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“did you make these cookies yourself y/n?” seungcheol asks as him and jeonghan take a bit out of the cookies that you just baked. you nod your head excitedly as you await for their responses “i did! what do you think?”

before anyone could say anything, jeonghan opens his mouth to spit out the cookie “what did you even put in this? poison?”

you frown at his comment as you turn to look at seungcheol “they can’t be that bad!” you retort, but the look of disgust on seungcheol’s face tells you otherwise. he places the bitten cookie back down as he looks at you with wariness “why is it… so salty…”

“what are you even talking -” you start off as you grab a cookie from the cooling rack, but you stop yourself once you take a bite - a bitter taste of salt filling up your mouth. you quickly spit it back out as you now understand what your friends meant “why is it so salty!”

jeonghan shakes his head at you as he picks up one of the cookies to inspect it “maybe you put in the wrong ingredient when you were making it?” this comment makes you gasp as you come to realize your mistake.

“i think i mixed up the salt and the sugar!”

both of your friends give you looks of pity as you drop your head into your hands “this is horrible how am i supposed to give them to joshua now! i spent the last three hours for nothing!” you groan. seungcheol claps his hands together as he thinks of an idea “i know! lets throw them away before he gets home! then he’ll never know of your failure!”

raising your head from your hands, you give seungcheol a deadly glare which causes him to freeze in his chair “was it necessary to say it like that”

before any other ideas are thrown, the sound of the front door opening is heard - causing the three of you to panic.

“i’m home!” a familiar voice calls out, and before any of you were able to even touch the cookies - joshua has already entered the kitchen “oh! seungcheol! jeonghan! what are you two doing here?”

“well you see, y/n here wanted us to try her oh so amazing and delicious cookies that she’s worked so hard on” jeonghan explains, a devilish look in his eyes. seungcheol sighs once he realizes what jeonghan was planning and joshua just looks surprised.

he turns to you with a curious look on his face, glancing back down at the cookies on the cooling rack “you made cookies y/n?” he questions and all you can do was nod sadly “i was planning on surprising you with them when you came home but -”

“y/n spent hours working on these wonderful cookies just for you shua - why don’t you try some?” jeonghan presses on to which joshua nods. you glare at jeonghan who just gives you mischievous look back. as joshua reaches over and grabs a cookie, panic settles inside of you,

“look you really don’t have to -”

“these are great!”

you pause from where you stood and jeonghan and seungcheol both have the same confused look on their faces as you. joshua gives you a genuine smile as he takes another bite out of the cookie in his hand.

“they’re - wait what did you say?”

he nods as he continues to eat it - no sign of hesitation or lie on his face “you did great on them baby! thank you for the cookies” he tells you, leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead. you just stand there confused as he ultimately finishes up the cookie before grabbing another one.

jeonghan and seungcheol share a look with each other before turning back to joshua.

“you really think they’re good?” seungcheol asks warily which joshua nods in response to “of course i do - anything that y/n makes from scratch is good”

you felt your heart flutter at his response as you just stare up at him with wide eyes. jeonghan stares at joshua intently as he watches him eat another cookie “don’t you think theres anything off about it? maybe it tastes a little - salty?”

joshua pauses from eating the cookie and you hold your breath as you wait for his response. he just shakes his head though as he continues to eat the rest of the cookie “hm, its a little bit salty - but i still like it anyways”

as he finishes off the salt cookie, he excuses himself and tells you that hes going to go change first and be right back. you nod in response and the three of you wait until he finally leaves the kitchen. once you realize hes out of range, all three of you turn towards the cooling rack - each shoving a piece of cookie in your mouths.

as if on cue, you all spit the cookie back out. seungcheol grabs a napkin and tries to wipe the taste out of his mouth “either joshua’s a really good liar and was trying to get back at hannie - or theres something off about his tastebuds.”

jeonghan nods in agreement as he throws away the leftover cookie that he had onto a paper towel “i have no idea how he was able to eat three of those biohazards without even flinching”.

“its literally a salt cookie what is wrong with him” seungcheol questions as he grabs a glass of water for him and jeonghan. as jeonghan reaches to take the glass of water from seungcheol’s hand, he shakes his head.

“theres no way he actually found that edible - he must’ve just lied so he wouldn’t hurt y/n’s feelings”

you just stare at the cookies in shock as you realized that joshua ate your cookies no matter how gross and salty it tasted - just because you made them. a soft smile slowly appears on your face as you recall watching him eat the cookies you made - going as far as complimenting and thanking you for them.

that was the fourth time you had realized just how much joshua loved you.

“guys shh!” someone says as joshua enters into his apartment that he shared with you. his eyebrows furrow together in confusion as he takes off his shoes and his coat.

“y/n? you there?” he calls out as he realizes just how dark the apartment was. he waits for you to answer and immediately fills up with worry once he doesn’t hear your reply. he’s about to take his phone out to call you, but is stopped once the lights suddenly turn on.

he covers his eyes as he tries to adjust to the brightness as loud pops suddenly filled his ears. moving his hands from his eyes, he is then met face to face with you holding a birthday cake along with the rest of his friends. confetti falls onto him as more party poppers were released.

“happy birthday joshua!”

his eyes widen in shock once he realizes what was going on. a wide smile covers his face as he looks behind you to see his friends holding confetti poppers as well as a large banner saying ‘happy birthday shua!’ on it. looking around, he realizes the rest of the apartment was decorated as well. he then looks at the cake you were holding in your hands.

“did you do this all for me?” joshua asks you in disbelief. you nod your head as you smile back at him “of course i did! why wouldn’t i?”

joshua just shakes his head though, the smile never leaving his face “i totally forgot it was even my birthday today”

his friends just laugh at his reply as one of them points towards you “you should thank y/n! they were the one to plan all of this!” he looks back at you as you turn your head away from him sheepishly “did you really plan all of this for me?”

you nod your head shyly as you feel his gaze now on you “i mean… yeah… it’s really not that big of deal…”

somehow, the smile on his joshua’s face grew ten times bigger. he leans down and gives you kiss on the top of your head “thank you y/n, it truly means the world to me”

shaking your head though, you look at him with a soft smile on your face “i just wanted to show you just how much i loved you since you do it to me all the time” you reply back, causing joshua to laugh in response.

“you don’t have to do anything - i already know how much you love me.”

m.list

#kwritersworldnet #joshua hong #hong jisoo #joshua x reader #joshua x you #written fics #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen oneshot #seventeen fics #svt scenarios #svt fics #svt imagines #svt oneshot

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postalheartart · 3 years

Text

Mine now

Nash gold x reader

Bad language warning

Possible lemon warning

"Hey? are yoou on your way yet?" you heard your nash's slur��voice from over the phone

"I'm leaving now" you say to nash as you put on your shoes

"I would drivve you but silver and I got into a drinking...match" nash says

"That's okay the club is not far from my house I will be there in 10mins" you say relived that he's at least a responsible drunk

"K ill see ya in a bit" nash says before hanging up the phone

"Okay see you soo-" your reply way interrupt by the dial tone

"He hung up?" You say looking at the call ended message

"I guess he forgot to say goodbye" you say knowing by now nash never bothered to say goodbye he was not much of a talk on the phone kind of guy even your texts between you both where short and forward pretty much him telling you to come out drinking and you always showing up

You might as well have had a pager instead of a cell phone.

There was no hiding the fact that you liked him a lot that's why you never failed to show up when he told you to

You always had fun with him but he gave you a lot of confusing signals

When it's just you and him hanging out together he will put his arm around your waist or your shoulder but when you hangout with him and his teammates he wouldn't touch you until a random dude comes up and talks to you that's when nash would put his arm around you and pull you in close to him until the dude left

It always bugged you a little why does he act like that when you're not even together

You put on your shoes got up walked out the door locking it behind you and began your walk to the club

The whole time you where walking you where telling yourself that you would not let him put his arm around you when guys came to hit on you "it's not fair...if he's not going to go out with me then he shouldn't stop me from meeting other people" you say with your fists clenched

Your are about 5mins from the club now fueled with a new-found determination

You pull out your phone to check the time but before you can even look at your phone a arm is wrapped around you "hey babe where are you going?" A man said appearing from the corner of your eye

"I'm meeting people so please let go" you say breaking free of his arm but then being coiled by his other arm "Hey come on stay and play i won't bite much" the man says winking at you "no thank you" you say trying to break free again "well that's not very nice" the man says before pinning your arms up against a wall

" I think you owe me an apology" the man says beginning to pull your shirt down

Just Before your bra is fully exposed a beer bottle is tossed at the his head making him instantly let's go to hold his injured head

"What the f*** man" he says turning around to look at his attacker

You take a moment to fix your shirt then peer over him to have a look at your savior

Your eyes open widely and you begin to feels tears building up in your eyes. It was nash and silver

Nash looks at you and points down and says "come here" you try to run to him but the man quickly grabs you by the hair and throws you against the wall "get lost go find another cute toy to play with I called dibs on this one" the man says pinning you with one hand while flipping nash and silver off with his other, you look over at nash whose eyes are now flaming with anger before you can't even think nash and silver both run up to you both silver grabs you and pulls you away just before nash slams him elbow into the man's throat making him drops to the ground and begin to gag you watch at nash picks the man up by the collar of his shirt and says "dibs or not she's MINE touch her again and I will kill you" nash knees him in the stomach and tosses him aside like he's a nothing

Then looks at you and silver with a slight annoyance. "All yours bud" Silver says gently pushes you over to nash then walks towards the club. You watch silver walk away then turn to look at nash who is staring at you annoyed "umm hey" you say nervously "you are never allowed to walk alone again" nash says with a stern voice you try to think of something to say but nash continues "what would have happened if we didn't show up?" Nash says with the same tone "I think we both know what would have happened" you say holding your arm thinking about the worst

"From now on I will pick you up and drop you off when you need to go somewhere" nash says crossing his arms

"You need to stop that" you say shaking your head "stop what?" nash says looking at you with a very annoyed look "saying that kind of stuff doing that kind of stuff you're not my boyfriend while I appreciate what you did just now but these confusing gestures are driving me crazy" you say holding your head looking at nash "what confusing gestures" nash says shrugging his shoulders "the only holding me when we are around random people! we are not together you holding me like I'm your when I'm not shit is stopping me from finding someone!" You say with anger looking at nash

Nash lifts a brow and dawns an evil smile "you want to find someone else?" nash says putting his hands on his hips and leaning towards you. You look away from him and say "no I want you but if this is not going to happen then" you cut yourself off realizing what you just said you feel your face heat up and pray nash didn't hear it you look at nash with your face burning up only to see the biggest satisfied look on his face "okay I feel like i was tricked into that" you say shaking your finger at him as he smiles

"Theres no need to hold you when I'm with my friends because they already know I claimed you. Random guys such as this sorry ass don't" nash says looking at the unconscious man on the ground

"But you didn't claim me we aren't together" you say looking at nash

"Then let's get together? " nash says turning his gaze back at you

"This is hardly the best place to ask someone that" you say trying to hold back your excitement

"Well babe it's either that or I write nash's property on your tits" he says pulling out a permanent marker with a grin

"You most certainly are not writing anything permanent on my chest" you say covering up your chest

"You prefer to get it tattooed?" Nash says looking at the permanent marker

"No! We are together now okay no marker no tattoos!" You say trying to grab the marker but nash grabs you by the waist and lifts your head up and begins to suck on your neck "hey what are you doing?!" you say as you feel him suck on your neck

A few seconds pass and he releases your neck then begins to kiss his way up your neck toward your lips he pauses for a second when he gets to your lips looks at them then looks at you

You lean in and part your lips slightly nash places his hand on the back of your head and pulls you in for a deep passionate kiss a few minutes later he pulls his head back to catch his breath

"There now everyone will know your mine because it will take a few weeks for that to heal" he says tapping his finger on the place where he sucked your neck

You quickly pull out your phones Camara and look at your neck "oh my God that's fucking huge!!" You say looking at the deep red tennis ball size Hickey on your neck

"Betting start getting used to saying that because I have something bigger im gonna show you later" nash says walking away laughing

"Your unbelievable" you say rolling your eyes speed walking to catch up to him

When you do catch up he puts his arm around you and pulls you in close you lean your head on his arm and you both walk to the club

@fierysafrina you inspired me to write my own fanfic about nash! I hope you like it!! Thank you for all that you do ❤☕❤☕❤☕❤

Since this post got alot of love Requests open for nash** 😄

#nash gold jr #nashgoldxreader #kuroko no basket #fanfic

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