#what I’m saying is the people crave original musicals

[screenshotsonpinterest]

Thinking about how Starkid’s raised nearly half a million dollars for Cinderella’s Castle simply by being transparent about where their money goes, being nice to their fan base, hiring unproblematic, talented people, and creating good, original art

#what I’m saying is the people crave original musicals #I know Cinderella’s Castle is technically a retelling buts it’s a retelling of the like old fairytales #it’s not like a movie adaption or a Disney remake #they’ve just passion for their art #and they also have beautiful women #go give starkid your money #starkid #team starkid #cinderellas castle starkid #cinderellas castle #musical theatre

[simplyhughes]

Hi Ellie, so nice to meet you! Loved your first piece ("my girl" as a pet name makes me fold like a lawn chair)! May I please request something with Jack? The specifics are up to you, but may it please be someone who is plain and very quiet in public. I feel like that would raise some eyebrows with Jack being so outgoing and sought after. Please and thank you. P.s. I listened to "Waste" by Foster the People while daydreaming about this if you want a song rec. Sorry!

Apart of the Group

First of all, thank you so much for being my first request I was soooo excited! I got a little carried away with this idea, and I may have strayed a little from your original request so apologies there. But I think this turned out pretty cute! Also, I ended up listening to the song while writing this… 10/10 great music taste 😋

Posting on here still makes me kind of nervous, but I do want to say thank you to everyone who enjoyed my last fic!!!! I am taking request and I’m so excited to fulfill some more :P I hope this fic is good!!! 

WC: 961 😧😧

Tw: social anxiety (?)

Throughout your life, you were known for your quiet demeanor, often keeping to yourself to avoid unnecessary conflict or attention. This didn't mean you were a loner; it just meant it was harder to break your shell. To anyone else, you may come off as withdrawn or timid, and honestly, that's true. But it's just a persona for those you aren't close to.

Growing up as family friends with three charismatic and unusually talented brothers was refreshing. You got to experience what life would be like if you had possessed those traits, not watching in envy but adoration. That adoration focused itself on the middle brother, Jack.

Jack didn't even have to try to get you to let your guard down; it just happened. He radiated a feeling of comfort that made him so easy to be around. After years of chasing each other, right as Jack was entering his first year in the NHL, you guys finally got together. You complimented each other in ways that were both unexpected and perfect, filling in the gaps the other lacked.

Life had picked up pace, and both of you succumbed to work. With Jack in Jersey and you back home in Michigan, you didn't get to see each other often. Being enrolled in university didn't allow for free time; you were either busing tables or hitting the books. Even though you and Jack shared troubling schedules, you two always found time to chat, even if it was late at night. Eventually, your schedules aligned. You finally were able to catch a flight to Jersey to see your boyfriend in action. On top of that, the New Jersey Devils were having a get-together for all of their wives and girlfriends. That made Jack ecstatic. He was so thrilled to be able to show off his girl, he was practically bouncing off the walls. You, on the other hand, felt queasy at the thought.

Jack had picked you up from the airport and took you back to his apartment. After basking in each other's company for the rest of the day and making up for lost time, you two settled in bed. As soon as the covers were pulled over, Jack was out. Your touch was something he craved for so long, and to finally have it alleviated all his stress, acting like melatonin.

Unfortunately, sleep didn't come as easy for you. Your mind was racing, thinking about every outcome tomorrow would bring. Will his teammates like you? Will their girlfriends like you? Eventually, you tired yourself out, and your eyelids fluttered shut with your fingers tangled in your boyfriend's hair.

The morning was spent over a cup of coffee and breakfast Jack surprisingly hadn't burned, sharing kisses and embraces in between. Both of you got ready in unison, helping Jack with his outfit and him attempting to help you with your hair. The ride to his teammate's house, who you knew as Bass, was quiet. Jack could tell you were nervous and had rested his palm against your thigh, rubbing small comforting circles. He parked along the street and opened the passenger door for you to exit. With your hands clasped, you both walked towards the front door.

Immediately, the door swung open, revealing a tall guy with a toothy grin who greeted you.He pulled Jack into one of those guy hugs and ushered you two in the door. The room was loud which made you instinctively lach to Jack's arm. Settling on the couch, surrounded by other players and their partners, Jack got to socializing. You felt eyes on you. The words you spoke were minimal and ended with you introducing yourself, with the help of your boyfriend. Your head rested against Jack's shoulder with his arm snaking around yours leaving his hand resting on your leg.

Soon enough his conversation fizzles out and he looks down at you with a soft gaze. He leans down to reach your ear, “You okay, baby?”. You let out a hum. At this point, your nerves were gone, but this still wasn't your crowd. “I'm good, just taking everything in…” you reply finally using your words. His lips meet your forehead while his hand caresses your cheek.

You two were so lost in your bubble to hear the conversation of a few of the girlfriends on the other sofa. “They are so different” one of them giggles. “I know…but it's too cute.” another responds. Jack smiles at you and turns back to talking now occasionally giving you the chance to nudge in.

As the night came to a close, you found yourself feeling a sense of belonging you hadn't anticipated. Surrounded by Jack's teammates and their partners, you realized that acceptance wasn't as elusive as you once thought. Back at Jack's apartment, you two snuggled up on the couch. His phone pinged with a text from one of the guys. “Hey take a look at this y/n…” Jack said as he shifted his phone to be your view. “Bratters girl, Nicole, wants to see if you wanna go to the WAGs luncheon thing before the game tomorrow. Look at my girl making friends and shit!” He exclaimed while pinching your cheeks. You pushed your head into his chest to hide your smile.

Today, you hurdled more than you could have if you were to do it alone. Jack brings out the best in you, pushing you when you need it. With Jack by your side, facing any uncertainty seemed less daunting. As you settled into bed, wrapped in each other's embrace, you felt a profound sense of contentment wash over you. Tomorrow might bring new challenges, but you knew that as long as you had Jack, you could face them head-on, together.

#jack hughes #jh86 #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes headcannon #simplyhughes #njd #new jersey devils #jack hughes x y/n

[greetings-inferiors]

So I absolutely love “want to be close” because it’s probably the most unique school theme in the series. Persona 3 is notable also because it has two school themes, as "want to be close" is replaced by "changing seasons". And while changing seasons is phenomenal in its own right, the reload version especially (imo best glow up from original to reload), it's a lot more normal. I want to discuss what makes want to be close unique, and how it plays into persona 3's themes and even does a little foreshadowing.

So. Persona 3's school themes are most obviously representation of Makoto's outlook on life. He starts the game apathetic, cynical and nihilistic. He’s an orphan who has no friends and life has no point. Want to be close’s lyrics reflect this, describing people who crave affection and connection with others. But then, once Makoto starts connecting with others, he starts to value his own life, and starts to truly enjoy it. This can be seen in the (reload, because it’s the definitive version of it) lyrics for changing seasons, which is unabashedly a celebration of living and being alive. This makes the ending all the more poignant, as the only one who knew life’s true value was the only one who could be willing to let it go.

But I’m getting away from my point. Why am I saying that want to be close is the most unique school theme in the series? Well, it all has to do with how it loops.

Video game music has to be designed around loops. Your player could speed run the game, or could stand around for ten minutes as they eat food and listen to the background music. The only time you are afforded the privilege of not having to loop a track is during cutscenes, but even then, if a player has input on the cutscnes then you’ve got to structure the track so individual parts can loop while they make their decision. Now, how the track loops is very important. The final boss theme for persona 4 is one of my favourite tracks in the series, but it’s a full orchestral piece with a well defined ending. As a boss theme, it’s not the best, as it doesn’t match up to the action at all, because it’s not designed to loop, it’s composed as a standalone piece. A majority of persona tracks similarly just go back to the beginning once they’re done.

But not want to be close. It starts out with its verse, but once the first “want to be close” is sung, that’s it. It will never loop back to the beginning again. You’ll get the odd echo of “…to be close~” but other than that, it’s just a loop of the outro.

I say this is FANTASTIC.

Bear with me for a second as I be a bit pretentious, but the song can represent life and death. The verse, the best part of the song, is splendid and fleeting like the bubbles he conjured (sorry I had to), but once it ends, you only get the lingering memory of the “to be close”. Memories of you perhaps? It’s such a lovely feeling whenever you hear the echo, but then you realise that the verse is never going to play again. Idk it’s just such an effective way of portraying the feeling of remembering someone who used to be a part of your life, distilled into a 2 minute long song. Am I reading into it too much? Absolutely. But ever since I first heard it I’ve been positively captivated by it and I had to put into words what makes it tickle my mind so much.

#text post #randyposting #persona #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #want to be close

[nokkiart]

I’m so glad that you had a lovely time in Tokyo!! Bring me in your suitcase next time? /j <3

What’s your advice for travelling on your own???

This is probably going to be a long one, so I apologize in advance 😅 Here's some advice that has helped me on my solo trips to Korea and Japan:

• Do research on where you're going. See what's allowed in the country (especially if you're bringing medications). Read up on other people's travel experiences in that country. Know what kind of transportation you'll need to use there and how to access it (trains, buses, taxis, rental cars). Make sure you have a bit of an idea of what to expect when you get there, so culture shock won't hit you hard.

• Have foreign currency *before* you leave. Chances are you'll need it as soon as you land at your destination.

• Make sure you have a power adapter/wall charger in case they have different outlets. A back up phone charger and pocket wifi is also a must!

• Find points of interest that you might enjoy visiting and make a private Google map with all those places marked. Then if you're in an area that happens to have a lot of your interests in it, you can tackle them all at once. This was my map for Tokyo! I made two separate lists; one for places I wanted to visit, and one for restaurants I wanted to try.

Unfortunately I didn't get to visit all of these because my trip was only 5 days. But it gave me a good idea of areas I could go to hit multiple points of interest!

• Make sure all your legal documents are valid. Passports, visas, licenses, etc. Make sure you know what documents you need to enter that country. Also bring a photocopy of those documents just in case something happens to the original.

• Get travel insurance. It's cheap and easy to get. And if something goes wrong, you'll be completely covered to be flown back home.

• Do what you can to keep yourself safe. You can buy personal safety items or read up on self defensive measures to take while traveling. I have this little siren doorstop, so if anyone tries to come into my hotel room, it not only blocks the door from opening but also emits a 120db siren to scare anyone off.

And it works *very well*. I nearly deafened myself when testing it XD

• Always be alert and aware of your surroundings. Tourists are easy targets for pickpockets because we're so distracted by everything (especially in big, tourist heavy cities).

• Never tell anyone that you're traveling alone. Book your hotel room for 2 people (its the same price as single rooms anyway). And give your hotel info to someone back home that you trust so they can know where you'll be.

• Trust your gut instinct too. If you're getting bad vibes off someone, just walk away and distance yourself from them.

• Don't be afraid to try new things! New foods, music, dancing, shows, festivals, etc. Just get out there and see things you've never seen before!

• This is kinda a personal preference one, but *avoid* tourist spots. So many people line up to take the same pics in the same tourist trap locations, waiting hours just for nothing. Instead, speak to locals and do things they recommend! Or just wander around and see what you stumble across. Touristy areas tend to have more expensive prices for everything anyway, so you'll save money going elsewhere! XD

• Allow your plans to change based on what you personally feel like doing in that moment. Don't force yourself to stick to a travel itinerary.

• Bring snacks just in case your tum craves something familiar. I usually stick to granola bars or Biscoffs since they last a while.

• If you're going somewhere that has a different language, learn the basics in that language. Knowing how to say "hello", "yes", "no", and "thank you" will help you so much! And locals tend to love seeing tourists put an effort into trying to communicate with them in their language.

• Also be patient. There will be times when there will be confusion between you and other people. That's just what happens when two different cultures meet. But don't get mad. Try calmly working thru the confusion and see if you can figure something out.

• On that same note, BE KIND. You are a guest in someone else's home. You have no right to demand things to be a specific way. Respect their rules, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Be grateful that you have this amazing opportunity that so many others may never have.

Solo traveling can be pretty intimidating. But if you plan and prepare everything well before you leave, your trip will be so much more enjoyable!

Let me know if you have any other questions about solo traveling! I want you guys to have safe and fun trips too!! ^^

#ama #nokki natter #ask #sorry for the long write up but I put a lot of effort into my solo trips XD #travel tips

[mournmeal]

Good evening my mourning doves! I’m in the market for some longterm roleplay partners / friends for Baldur’s Gate 3! Please read it all to avoid confusion BEFORE reaching out. If this all sounds good to you then feel free to message me! I won’t bite. …. I’ll bite you if you ask. THE VOICES. Sorry it was my demons.

Also wanted to add just in case this may apply to someone’s interest, if you are seeking for a Tav ( or Durge ) to write with, are fine with them being a woman and you are wanting to write Astarion ( Spawn or Ascended ), Raphael, Haarlep, any of them you can also reach out to me!

( And for anyone who finds this and recognizes me, I promise to work on your reply early tomorrow or at some point tonight. )

ABOUT MYSELF :

• I’m 24 and you can call me Asta. Any pronouns are fine by me.

• I will only write with adults who are 20 and will gladly accept older. Please do respect this boundary.

• I’d say my style is Multiple Paragraph Novella. A sucker for details and tend to get carried away when enjoying the roleplay. No need to match length, but do give me something to work with. I write in third person.

• Currently unable to work, but have intentions to work from home. Though this means I will be very active. And at ungodly hours …

• I have decided to no longer be ghost friendly. This goes for myself and others. So, to avoid wasting handing out my discord I’d prefer we feel each other out before that exchange. If I get busy with anything I will properly give a heads up. Should I be away for a long period of time.

• I am comfortable writing mature content ( whether that be dark themes. containing violence, blood, dead dove, to smut. ) However I do not want mainly smut focused roleplays. And I do not want to be thrown in head first into smut. Rich Plot with smut my beloved. THOUGH we can still make nsfw headcanons whenever we please.

WHAT I OFFER :

• A longer term writing partner and friend. I’d love to vibe with you ! Match each other’s energy. I don’t want the connection to be transactional. Let’s bond over our silly little game with our silly little characters.

• Love writing OC x CC. And would love to hype up the ship of your Tav / Durge with the character you want.

• Currently accepting double ups! I am more than happy to play any origin character you desire. Or any other characters. Examples being Rolan, Raphael, Haarlep, you get the idea.

• Parings can be MxM. FxF. FxM. NBxF. NBxM. Whatever! This is a safe space. Trans Tavs/Durges are always welcome!

• Me being absolutely down bad for your Tav / Durge. I will hype that babe up like my life depends on it. If you can’t tell, I adore when people create their own characters and give them lore. Flood me with pictures of them, with your headcanons, ALL OF IT. I crave sustenance. Me having to resist the urge of saying our Tav’s should kiss.

• We can have our own little discord server to send moodboards, headcanons, music, videos edits, and the list goes on. Let’s gush over our characters and ships like insane friends do. Literally. Go crazy. I will chime right in any hour. … As long as I’m not napping.

• I enjoy sprinkling other characters into my writings to really help set the scene or add some more depth / detail to our storyline. So if we end up in a situation where they are needed or if we just want them there from time to time for plot - I can do that.

• Also? If you have BG3 on computer WE SHOULD PLAY IT TOGETHER SOMETIME. Let’s go create mass chaos. But be warned I do encourage trying to fight everything.

WHAT I’D LIKE :

• Honestly damn near everything I already stated above. LMFAO.

• Longterm writing partners / friends only. Consistency will be important. As I’m also going to try and be that way too. So if you know you ghost don’t bother.

• I’d like to write as my Tav / Durge who is a female. ( I plan to make more with various gender identities for other runs! And sexualities. This one is pansexual.)

• For her love interest in think maybe Astarion? ( Spawn or Ascended. ) Raphael? Haarlep? My answer may change depending on my muse at the moment so who knows. ( You can still want for me to write as them for you! )

• Would love for our Tav’s / Durge’s to interact! Love making headcanons for them. Creating a dynamic for them.

• Anyone who wants to write dark themes here and there! Dead dove is allowed! We just need to discuss it of course for each other’s comfort. Eat up whatever drama we want going on.

• Speaking of drama. Should you want some where some other character seems to have eyes for your Tav / Durge to get some jealous action … I will fuel that fire. As I’ve said before. We can go crazy. It’s roleplay, let’s have fun!

• Let’s make moodboards, throw / bounce headcanons, share music, create au’s even, whatever we want.

• If anything else comes to mind I’ll throw it here or in our messages. But yes. Message me if interested!! Look forward to meeting you!

#baldurs gate roleplay #baldurs gate rp #bg3 rp #baldurs gate 3 rp #baldurs gate 3 roleplay #Baldur’s Gate 3 RP #Baldur’s Gate 3 Roleplay #SHUT UP I DONT KNOW IF THIS SHIT IS CASE SENSATIVE OR ANYTHING

[kittyt-hexxed]

I’ve been holding off on mentioning it, but I want to put my thoughts out there. So, I’m writing an original novel. Writing has always been a passion of mine, but the love I’ve been given by you, my readers, has encouraged me to take that step. A scary step.

Writing fanfiction, adapting a world that’s already created is easy. It’s like taking a piece of air dry clay and molding it. That’s all you have to do. The characters are provided, their personalities, their challenges, their hopes and dreams. It’s fun because I already know the characters and so do you.

But.

Creating your own world. Your own characters. It’s thrilling as it is terrifying. My imagination gets to run wild. I live and breathe these characters. I see their world when I close my eyes or listen to music. They’re such an intimate part of me. They come from my heart and my mind. I’ve scrapped so many pages trying to figure out the names of my characters. I’ve pulled pieces of inspiration from the people around me. I’m learning more about them every day, like a new friend. And, I want to introduce that friend to more people because I think they’re great.

Dare I say, it’s a story that my soul craves to share. I’m so excited planning this that I could explode. All I can think about is sharing it with the ones who have supported me and hope they love it, too.

This novel is precious to me. It will be a series and I’m working on figuring out just how many books it’ll be - It looks like it’ll be a lot. I won’t say exactly what it’s about, yet, but thank you.

Thank you for giving me something that makes my soul burn with passion.

#hexxed rambles #writing #fanfiction writer

[bhxrdy]

timeless | chapter one

author’s note: this is the first part to the new Finan x OC story I have. I’m still working through the rest of the chapters but hoping this is a good start. The masterlist is here for any of you who are interested - and if you are and want to be part of the taglist, please let me know :) Lots of love & stay safe 💕

      The fuss of her environment drifted away from her ears, her focus falling straight at the view in front of her.

The grey weather was surrounding the village, the clouds gathering to dictate rain pour over the citizens of Bamburgh.

It had only been a few months since they were forced to part ways; one hundred eighty-two days of sorrow, four thousand three hundred sixty-eight hours of haunting.

The carvings were staring at her, prickling every part of her like a thorned rose.

She let out a breath, wanting to calm her broken heart.

And then, her mind started to wander, following the trail of memories that were left behind. Like puddles left by the rain - every step created an echo, a ripple effect growing bigger and wider until it became no more, until it merged back into its original form.

She closed her eyes shut, composing herself the best she could and let them play, trying to catch one glimmer of happiness, one scent of content.

     The city of London was vivacious; the sun was hiding away as evening began with the moon slowly rising to the top.

People were busying the streets, the summer breeze lifting their spirits.

It was a beautiful night.

They met in a crowded pub, where the laughter and jolly cheers of the mortals ignited a little spark in their approach; she had sneaked away from her friends, the stranger attracting her for chatter.

They shared drinks and snippets of their lives, time passing through without them.

It could have been the drinks, the atmosphere in the room or even the music softly playing in the background; whatever it was the Fates were weaving, the air hugging both of them was thick. Warmth was spreading ever so teasingly across their skin, the tickle of it gripping onto them, never wanting to let go.

Everything else seemed pointless, dull even.

They spent that same night together, ravishing each other with kisses and sensual touch, the covers of the bed shadowing the rhythm of their dancing bodies as it craved ecstasy.

Saying sparks were flying was an understatement; the connection binding them was beyond any natural boundary.

It was the perfect night, a promise of hope for the days to come.

But it was the morning that followed that crashed it all.

It was waking up to the birth mark sitting at the top of her spine that drained the colour off of his face.

It was the symbol of doom that faintly painted her skin that quietly rushed him out of the door, wanting to get as far away as possible and wishing to the heavens he would just drop dead already, and move on.

     Months had passed since their encounter.

Months where he had left her wondering what went wrong, if she had done anything to upset him.

Within these same days, as she went back to her daily routine, he kept his head low and followed her around like a thief in the night.

He had learned her patterns, her schedule, for each day of the week; he eventually knew enough to anticipate her steps, all the while ignoring the yells and screams coming from his guts.

Her true nature was cloaked to the world but to him, she was completely bare, unable to hide even the tiniest of impulses.

He blended into the crowd of students, making his way across campus; he was ready to confront her, ready to finally take matters into his own hands.

With anger, vengeance colouring the features across his face, he eventually found himself standing behind her, his body covering the entrance to her office - he had become a predator dangerously seeking his prey.

She dropped her bag on her desk, ready to take on another day. She was about to start when she felt a presence behind her; it was a tingle, almost a sixth sense hovering above her.

When she turned, she jumped at her sight while grasping onto her chest, her other hand holding the surface of her desk. “Geez, Finan- you scared me!” Her heart jumped to her throat while catching her breath, her eyes never leaving his.

He hadn’t said a word yet, not having moved from the door frame and stared at her with disdained in his eyes.

“What are you doing here?!” Part of her was happy to see him, not having expected such a surprise. However, she couldn’t anticipate either the scornful attitude he would relay on her.

He took one step in and closed the door behind him.

“Are you a witch?” His question had startled her, not for the tone but for the inquiry itself.

How could he have known?

She tried to brush him off, her left hand gripping tighter onto the edge of her desk. “I’m a historian, a-a history professor. You know this.”

“Don’t lie to me.” It was the way he pressed his words, she had shivers run down her spine. The way he spoke left her lungs empty. “You have the mark of a witch on your back. I’ve seen in before.”

She frowned at his statement, trying to understand him. “What are you talking about?” She stood straight, and by instinct reached for the mark he spoke of, her hand going to her back.

She tried to piece some of the non-sense together, and only came up with this. “Is that why you ran out on me the night we met? Because of my birth mark?”

She was oblivious and it annoyed him; his anger was starting to seep out like sweat, agitation growing stronger.

He took more steps, closing the distance that had been separating them.

It was a meaningless gesture to her.

But only when he was close enough, could she read the look he wore on his face.

And then, in such an abrupt body movement, she felt pressure around her throat; he had grabbed her, his hand resting around her neck all in the hopes of squeezing the life out of her.

He was mumbling in a dead language, cursing at her. She was still able to catch some of the words, recognizing a name in the midst of it all.

Her backside was digging further against her table; he had shoved her with such force, the objects that laid on the surface shook out of their order, creating a mess on the floor.

Finan was towering over her, forcing her to bend and hurting her back. He was still stringing along words that were unrecognizable. She tried to catch his stare, when once again, she heard that same woman’s name.

She started hitting his arm, using whatever strength she had to yell at him.

“I’m not her!” The urgency in her words weren’t phasing him. “Look at me! Finan-” Struggling to speak, she forced his head her way and away from her neck. She was feeling the air stuck inside her as the spots started blinding her vision. She didn’t have the might to use her powers to push him out.

It was only when he finally noticed her that he faltered. Only when he finally realized what he was doing that his grip weakened.

Her face might have held ghostly features, similar - as distant relative goes - but it was her eyes.

They were different, innocent.

They were creatures of their own, looking straight back at him with a fear painted colour.

The longer he held their gaze, he eventually let her go and quickly backed away, catching his breath.  

The tension had started to dissipate, both bodies recovering on each side of the room.

Finan was still agitated, not knowing what to do with himself. She was left speechless as well, rubbing her neck from the bruises he had left.

But when he took one glance her way, did he decide to run; he went for the door, ready to leave when she stopped him with the simple wave of her hand. She bound the door shut and locked it from the outside, trapping them inside her office.

He scoffed, shaking his head before turning around to face her. “So you are a witch.”

Her head fell backwards, almost exasperated by his insistence. “Barely, but yes, sure. I’m a witch.” Facing him again, she brought her arms to her chest as if to protect herself from further harm. She bit down her tongue, attempting to calm herself down despite the accelerated rate of her beating heart. “What the hell just happ- Finan, who is Thora?”

He took in a deep breath, scratching the back of his neck with his head hanging low. It took him a moment, which she gave him, before he was able to look her again.

“She was the witch who cursed me.”

“You’re hexed?” Her arms dropped by the sides of her body, deflated. Intrigue picked her up. “What does it have to do with me?”

“You kinda look like her. For a moment-” Finan was at a loss for words, flustered by her apparent calmness. It was almost driving him mad. “That mark on your back-”

She could see his distress. Not only was it written on his face, his whole demeanour had changed. She silently watched him gather his thoughts; he took one deep breath, letting the words come to him. “You looked like her. It’s uncanny… and scary. I felt like I was starting right at her.”

And only then did he become aware of his mistake. The woman standing in front of him looked nothing like Thora. The imagery was all in his head - something that hit him right in the gut.

She leaned against her desk once again and held onto it to stand upright as she sensed her legs were about to fail her; shivers had traveled across her body, suddenly feeling cold at the thought of sharing someone’s face.

Taking in the information, a headache was slowly uncovering. She shut her sight, her face scrunched, and placed the palms of her hands against her eyes, trying to think.

The atmosphere still remained strained, the silence unbearable as it overpowered every fibre in the room. It’s own voice howling like a wolf at the moon.

Curses were not that common anymore; living in the modern world changed the habits of witches - weakening the old ways almost into extinction.

She eventually dropped her arms to look back at him. He hadn’t moved an inch, his face still taking in the figure in front of him. He hated himself for hurting her, to have become the reason she was harmed and bruised. He felt a lump at the back of his throat and forced it back down, trying to look away from her neck.

She sighed and turned around, finding her seat at her desk.

She pulled open the bottom right drawer and then pulled out 2 small glasses with a bottle of bourbon, bringing them to the surface.

“Take a seat.” A soft order he followed. He sat down on the other side while she poured them drinks. She handed him one cup while she chugged down the other in one swallow, letting the liquid burn her bruised throat.

It hurt - his fingers ghosted over her skin, she could still feel it, and she knew bruises were going to show up. She caressed her skin trying to get a picture of what it looked like with the mirror that sat behind her.

“I’m sorry, Rebecca.” The first words spoken in a while and they were tainted with hurt. “I’m not like this. It’s just- It’s her.”

She said nothing and only wore a comforting smile, trying to ease the ache he felt.

“I told you when we met, you can call me Bex, Becca even. Only my grandparents call me by my full name.” She was hoping to lighten the mood a little bit, but nothing came of it. A hush fell upon them again - she cut it short, forcing the conversation to go on.

“What did she do?”

“She cursed me.” He stated his answer as a matter-of-fact - not understanding why she was asking this again.

Becca rolled her eyes as a light chuckle rolled across her tongue. “I know. But what was the curse? What did she do to you?”

Even saying it out loud sounded insane, he thought. He didn’t have a choice, though. The secret was out, might as well pursue.

He pushed through, letting the syllables out of his lungs and the words resonating within the walls of the office.

“She made me immortal.”

She leaned against the back of her chair, stunned. His revelation wasn’t making sense, yet she knew it was possible. It’s been tempted and done before, so why not now.

“How old are you supposed to be?” Curiosity settled, she studied him carefully while reaching for the necklace that hung around her, rubbing the purple crystal between her fingers.

He let out a sigh, his body slightly slouching against his seat as he averted his gaze elsewhere, anywhere but her. “I stopped counting.”

She leaned forward, trying to catch his eyes. She needed to know more, to understand better.

“Finan. How long ago was this?” Her insistent tone brought him back. She caught his stare and found his heart stuck in his throat. His stomach dropped at the thought of saying it out loud.

He exhaled once again and clenched his jaw before speaking up.

“Since King Alfred.”

The name of the monarch resonating between her ears, the gears in her brain were turning as her knowledge of history took over - she couldn’t look away from Finan, the slow realization of the centuries separating them hitting her.

“The Alfred? Alfred the Great?” His silence became the answer to her question.

She was left perplexed, lost in her thoughts. For a split second, she was out of touch with reality, prompting her words to make him chuckle. “Damn, you’re old.”

“Yea, I guess I am.”

She met his eyes, startled by his presence - for that one second, she had forgotten where she stood. “S-sorry. I meant-”

“That’s alright.”

She reached for the bourbon and poured again in both glasses, giving him the go to take his shot.

Putting the bottle back down, she stared at her cup; inquiries were starting to infiltrate her mind, still feeling out of the loop in his predicament. “What were you hoping to achieve by killing me? Because I’m guessing that’s what you were trying to do?”

He should’ve seen it coming, and yet he was still taken aback. “It was the only way I knew how to undo a curse- to-”

“To kill the witch that cast it. Without bloodshed.”

She ended his sentence, knowing the saying all too well.

She took another gulp, the words sinking in, adding weight to the day. She stared at the bottom of her, now, empty glass, not having the strength to lift her head up to him.

“What would you have done if it didn’t work?”

He attempted to lay out an answer, not sure if his reasoning would make sense to her. “I didn’t think of it.” He re-arranged himself in his seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “I was just… blinded by rage when I realized who you were.”

She could tell he was remorseful by the way he spoke and it broke her heart, each word squeezing the muscle tighter and tighter into her chest.

“As much as I’m enjoying my time in these modern days-”

“Its not the lifetime you were meant to live.” She finally lifted her head up, meeting his stare once more. She lingered a bit, gently remembering the first time she had to look into his hues.

She eventually got up from her seat and turned her back to him to face her window; she was met with a booming campus with students and faculty roaming about.

She held onto her necklace, the colour of the crystal shadowing her skin; the bruises were already gone.

She kept the conversation moving, a thought coming together in her mind.

“If this witch you speak of… If we have the same mark, then chances are we are from the same bloodline.” She pivoted back to him and started to pace, slowly putting a proposal together for the Irishman.

“Maybe I can end the torment. Bring you peace.”

Finan frowned, her offer unexpected to his ears. He grew hesitant. “Why should I trust you?”

“You don’t. I never gave you a reason to trust me. But what you’re going through- it’s wrong on so many levels.” She huffed, running her fingers through her hair. She was starting to ramble, her body weighing the toll of such a burden, the heaviness of such an act - she couldn’t simply let it go. It was no way to live.

“It’s one thing to have your soul reincarnated without an inkling, the knowledge, of your past life, all at the grace of the gods. But to have it as a curse… to be stuck in such a way- it’s not fair.”

She took her chance and approached him, her heart aching from his pain. “No one should suffer like this. I wouldn’t even wish it on my worst enemy.”

Her kindness was a breath of fresh air.

“Finan.” Once she was close enough, he stood to his feet, close to meeting her height as she looked up. “Let me help you.”

It was all in her eyes; the gentleness of her gaze, the sincerity of their colours. It was the way she looked at him, almost begging and determined, that convinced him she wasn’t the devil incarnate after all.

“Alright.”

-----------------------------------------------

xoxo

#the last kingdom #finan #finan x oc #tlk fanfic #finan fanfic #finan the agile #the last kingdom fanfic #tlk #mark rowley #finan fic #Photo by Ksenia Yakovleva on Unsplash

[27emailsicantsend]

Season 4 Thoughts

To My Followers

This rest of this debrief will be wordy and I wanted to make sure I got what I felt was the most important part of this posted here first, before I move onto my thoughts of season 4. In case you read nothing else, I hope you read this: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this amazing ride we have went on the past four years. Especially thank you to the 2019 Rina’s, who saw our little crack ship and believed in it’s potential every step of the way. I am floored by the amazing community I feel we have built on my page.

Something I haven’t shared about on here is I have dealt with some pretty bad on and off depression since 2019. I’ve had a hard time maintaining friends due to natural circumstances that have come with just being an adult. When I got lonely, I was always able to turn to Tumblr and answer a new ask or read a positive comment. I remember one time one of my posts on Tumblr got semi-big on Twitter and it was during one of my darkest depression phases. It truly made me feel like I had something… special to offer when I felt like I was nothing. I’ve been on Tumblr for a long time, but the HSMTMTS fandom truly changed my life. I am not only mourning a show that brought me comfort and felt like the friendships I was craving, but also the community we have built.

If nothing else comes of the show (no movie, spin-off, etc.) I just want you all to know from the bottom of my heart, I genuinely appreciate you. You were my light in my darkest tunnels and I will never be able to thank you enough for that. I don’t plan on leaving Tumblr, not even close and I am sure I will have a lot more to say as I rewatch the season, but I know some of you might be gone after this. So, whether you stay or you leave, please know you have “changed my life for the better, I have been changed for good”.

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Now who is ready for my season 4 thoughts?

Instead of going episode by episode, I figured it would be easier to talk about the season in general themes. Overall, I loved this season. It is my favorite season, which I knew would be so hard to beat s3 but this one did. I cried, laughed, cried, sang along in my head, and cried some more. Tim and the cast truly outdid themselves this season and I don’t think I have ever seen a better final season to a show. Ever. Honestly, I hesitate rewatching the season because of how much it impacted me the first time and I know it won’t feel the same the second time around, but that just means it did what it needed to do. If anyone on the show is seeing this, please know that I appreciate everything you’ve done!

Music

The music this season was incredible. I know a lot of people didn’t like season 3’s soundtrack, but honestly, I did. But I really feel like this season outshined in a lot of ways musically. Stripping down to raw vocals made the scenes feel much more emotional and connected. And the changes and tracking to the songs we already knew made them feel fresh again. The original songs were all crafted carefully to give meaning and purpose to the scenes and characters, making each one feel like a progressive step in the episode, rather than just filler. The music was always an important part to this show, but this season it really felt the most intentional. I don’t have enough good things to say about it.

I’m having a hard time picking a favorite because they were all so meaningful in their own ways, but if I had to pick one (for now), I would probably say “Maybe this Time” is my favorite. Watching Ricky and Gina talk about how they feel like this time around their relationship is different from their other relationships- and before with each other- really encompasses everything Tim was trying to portray with the ship. They had to go through their ups and downs, had to see other relationships, in order to give and appreciate each other’s authentic love. Not only this, but the proof was in the pudding with Ricky’s feelings. Watching each iconic Rina scene as they sang about feeling like their relationship with each other is different than others, shows that those moments were reciprocated feelings between the two of them. And while I never had a doubt Ricky had feelings since the beginning, this really solidified the idea for even the most casual of viewers.

Cinematography

I had to pause myself several times and remember I was watching a tv show and not a movie because the budget was budgeting! I am amazed at the detail and stylistic choices the show chose depending on what we were watching. From the opening scene literally feeling like I was watching HSM again, to certain scenes making me feel like I was back to previous seasons, to other scenes where the lens would change depending on if we were watching HSM4 being filmed directly or through the directors chair. It was creative and stylistic, using different camera techniques like the steady camera or being shot more like a music video for the Halloween song. In the most meta way, you could literally see the enhancements to the shots with coloring and lighting, making this season feel like the same upgrade HSM3 was from HSM2. I am just so, beyond impressed.

Humor

Oh my gosh, this season did not miss with the jokes and facial expressions! I will say, I think season 3 did have me laughing a little more frequently, whereas this season had me crying a lot more, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t funny. They weren’t kidding saying it was “pg-13”, because I was really surprised with some of the jokes they put into this season (like the one between Ricky and his dad episode 1 or the amount of bleeped swear words). Emmy had the most heinous lines, so you never quite knew what to expect with her. I loved seeing Ricky make his “Jim Halpert eyes” at the camera or Ricky and Jet tease each other about their girls. I think one or two more jokes would have bode well within this season, but I am also very happy with what we got!

Friendships

EJ and Ricky- this was probably one of the more shocking things to happen in the season. I knew from stills we were going to get something with EJ and Ricky, but I remember when they were first dropped I was very confused about why they were together. There are a lot of things EJ has done wrong and a lot of things he’s done right, but I really think his relationship with Ricky was redeemed after episode five. I was so impressed by his monologue at the end of their time together and the raw emotion Ricky had to hearing the things EJ was saying. Ricky needed to know that it was on him to change, even if he couldn’t change the outcome, he could change his view. I loved knowing that EJ had moved on and even if it was hard, he still supported rina at the end of the day. I think this gave Ricky some relief too. And then watching Ricky call on EJ a couple more times when he was stressed and have that parallel scene of throwing the basketball back and forth… it was just a very satisfying ending for them that I didn’t know needed to happen until it did. (Also their song?? Was so good??? It was really nice to hear EJ sing something serious and his vocals worked well with Ricky’s).

Gina and Mack- I really thought I was going to hate Mack and the first couple of episodes set him up to look that way too. But then he shows up in the trailer asking to pretend to date Gina and for some reason that scene I knew he wasn’t harmful? I know that might sound backwards but it came across really… friendly? Ricky’s worries were more comedic than an actual threat to their relationship which I appreciated. Tim really meant it when he said no more love triangles for them… because it was never actually a triangle. Mack and Gina didn’t actually have those romantic feelings for each other. Mack grew on me throughout the season and watching him drop out after his conversation with Ricky really shed a light on his character. I just wish Ricky would have replaced Mack as Romeo… and kind of shocked he didn’t?

Kourtney and Gina- If there is one thing I was certain on and was completely wrong about, it was these two. I genuinely thought Kourtney’s “diva-ness” was going to mimmick Sharpay’s because Sharpay was jealous of Gabriella and tried to take her role HSM3. The doc set up Kourtney and Gina to look like they hated each other and I really thought things were going to get messy between them. Honestly… that was the only thing from the doc that wasn’t mentioned, so I kind of wonder if Tim had plans for it but dropped it in the end? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy they stayed close this season; I’m just confused, is all.

Ricky and Nini- Another name I did not expect to hear at all this season, but in the context it happened in, I’m glad I did. I think Nini giving Ricky that lotto ticket helped to heal any remaining wounds from their break up and show they would always still be friends. And while we never saw them as friends in the show, I feel like with their set up as a couple s1 they really were good friends, but dating kind of wrecked it for them. Knowing she sent those opening night cards again (a fun tradition I’m glad they kept even with her off the show), was a sweet nod that they were ok again.

Gina and EJ- Much like Nini and Ricky, I was shocked to see these two interact again and the context they did. I love Gina Porter and would defend her in court, no questions asked, but it was really interesting watching her recognize maybe a little of the hypocrisy of her keeping that secret from Ricky, which was the whole reason she got mad at EJ. I think having her go through the same thing in her relationship, helped her to recognize why it was so hard for EJ to bring it up. However, Gina seemed to try a lot harder to say it to Ricky in a short time period after finding out about the offer, whereas EJ kind of seemed like he was going to put it off as long as he could s3- that’s the difference between them. I really did love EJ and Gina as friends and you can find other posts of me saying this- and with him being friends with Ricky now too- I think there was something really healing for all of them in Gina and EJ’s conversation. I also found Ricky’s reaction to knowing Gina confided in EJ first interesting because I genuinely thought he was going to get really angry, but instead EJ pushed Ricky to go fight for Gina. It was a nice conclusion for all of them.

Miss Jenn and Emmy/Carlos- At first I was going to be really sad they cut Carlos out from being a helped with Miss Jenn, but I loved the role Emmy played with her. Emmy was obviously looking for a place where she felt wanted/needed, especially after getting kicked off the movie, so seeing her feel that by assisting Miss Jenn was sweet. I also loved that Carlos was still connected to Miss Jenn but in very different ways. They seemed more like friends and it made me think a lot about what their relationship would look like after Carlos graduated. Knowing Miss Jenn helped Carlos when he was first getting bullied was a very touching twist to their arc… in fact, that entire episode (4x06) is making me rethink everything that has happened since the beginning of the series. Just when I thought I was done finding new things, Tim has managed to make it so I can go back and rewatch and probably find MORE new things. That is what real writing looks like and it can’t be mimicked.

Family

Ricky- Watching Ricky say “I Love You” to every person he considered family was such a touching storyline. Ricky’s whole premise from season one was about how he felt isolated from those who cared about him and how he struggled to say how he feels. We watch Ricky slowly overcome this as he tells those he loves that he loves them over and over, while simultaneously wrapping several of their storylines with him. It was his way of thanking them and saying good bye and I couldn’t think of a better way for Ricky to demonstrate who has become family to him.

Gina and Terri- “Don’t get me started” is the only way I can start this, ironically. I have nasty words for this woman. I am so proud of Ricky and Gina standing up to her, pointing out how malicious she was all season. How she couldn’t be bothered to even spend two seconds with things that were important to Gina, but could easily make Gina be everything Terri wanted her to be. I knew in the Thanksgiving episode something was off about Gina’s mom. Of course, we had a couple pieces of the puzzle like Gina talking about how her mom pushes her too hard in other episodes, but specifically during this episode I got weird vibes from Terri and couldn’t quite put my finger on it. This season answered it for me. When Gina called to tell her mom about how she won the “Choosical”, it was something so small but so important to her, her mom immediately made Gina take her off speaker and then dropped that bomb while Gina was out with her friends. Like Terri couldn’t have waited until she got home? It’s very obvious that Terri’s needs are above all else and it makes Gina feel like she has to cater to her mom’s every whim. I have always said I felt a really close tie to Gina and without going into too much detail, her home life molding who she has become, makes a lot of sense why I feel so much like her. So yes, I do take Terri a bit personally.

Ricky and his parents- I have seen a lot of mixed opinions on Mike and Lynne getting back together and I get why. Honestly, I really liked Mike and Jenn. I liked the idea of Miss Jenn being the mother figure Ricky didn’t really have and literally stepping into that role. They seemed good and happy, but I get why she chose Mozzarella Stick after this season. Miss Jenn does seem a bit happier with him so I’ll let it slide. But with Mike and Lynne, it’s kind of got two sides for me. On one hand, maybe it was good for Ricky to see his parents get back together. He got this second chance and being Troy and seeing them happy in the audience was all he wanted, so it came full circle. It also proves more of the love Ricky has for Gina, because his parents represented Nini and him. He could have easily saw them get back together and thought “man if they can, I can get back with Nini too!” But he was so far removed from Nini because of his relationship for Gina, he could see that and not have it shake him back to S1 Ricky. On the other hand, it also defeats Lynne’s whole conversation that led Gina to Ricky. Because Mike and she paralleled R*ni, seeing her give Ricky permission to let Nini go (“sometimes two people aren’t always meant to be”), but then come back to Mike, makes it kind of be like “well, what was the point of that conversation because we were proving that Ricky could be more without her?” I guess you could maybe even argue that his parents reflected he and Gina instead, falling apart but then getting back together because of unresolved feelings. I’m not sure… I’d be curious to see what everyone else thinks about this.

EJ and his dad (+Kourtney and her mom)- I was happy to see EJ finally separate himself from his dad. Even though EJ was struggling financially, he was happier figuring it out on his own. This show really embodied a lot of different parent/child dynamics and I think it gives kids permission to stand up to their parents, even when it’s scary. To do what is best for you, even if your parents disagree. I think maybe EJ’s arc could have been explored a bit more and I would have loved to see more on him and Val (which I totally called it btw), but I feel like that would have been reserved for s5, had we gotten one. In the same breath, it was nice seeing Kourtney have such a good relationship with her mom as a juxtaposition to EJ and his dad this episode. She had a parent who wanted her to explore her options for college and supported her unconditionally. It showed what a good parent is like too. I really enjoyed those two storylines flipping back and forth in episode 5.

Jet and Maddox- it was so good to see their relationship healed this season. To watch them encourage each other in their roles and dreams (like Jet wanting to possibly go with her to New Zealand) was such a massive contrast from last season. You could tell a couple of times they were still working a little through the kinks, but it really seemed like they had found their rhythm again as siblings. I also have to give a huge shout out to the Halloween episode for Jet getting to help Maddox reclaim her scary story that he had “ruined” in s3. It was like the last unresolved thing for them and it was such a sweet callback for them to do again.

Relationships

Carlos and Seb- Man I don’t know how to feel about them this season. Rina’s predicted the cheating from a mile away and with Red, but even watching it on screen seemed so out of character for both of them? And the angry phase seemed to last several episodes more than the “make up” phase which was a bit frustrating. I love Seblos, but this was such an interesting plot to go down, especially with Seb accusing Carlos of cheating the whole time. And it wasn’t like that insecurity was because Seb was the cheater the whole time? It only happened once. I don’t know, I think they could have made it so Seblos fought over something else or if they had to go down the cheating storyline, showed Seb getting more and more feelings for Red through the seasons. Then when he got insecure, it makes sense because he was projecting. Then we could have had a whole arc about Seb’s insecurities.

I also had a hard time with the Seb not coming out storyline and that’s why they couldn’t travel? It just seemed like such a random “we need a C-plot” storyline for the last two episodes? I think there are better ways this relationship could have been executed this season, but I am happy to see them still as endgame.

Seb and Natalie- *blinks profusely*

Ashlyn, Maddox, Big Red, Antoine- I’ve mentioned this several times on here, I was really happy with Ashlyn being with Red or Maddox. She seemed happy with both, but I think with an entire season of Red missing, it did help to create some of that separation so the break up didn’t seem so abrupt between Ashlyn and him. I absolutely died seeing him get with Antoine though. That was the exact plot twist I needed!

I appreciated Madlyn getting together in the end because I think there was a natural progression of feelings we were able to see since S3. Maddox needed a way to move on from Madison and Ashlyn was able to figure out her sexuality through Val, but place herself in the right heart through Maddox. I think Julia had talked about how good it was for kids to see queer storylines that are positive and cute, rather than how they might get portrayed otherwise. That being queer was just… accepted for Ashlyn. If we do see gay storylines on TV, it still tends to lean toward MLM, so it was a breath of fresh air seeing a WLW on a teen show like this. I have female friends who are queer that I could see really resonating with a storyline like this.

Jet and Kourtney- This relationship is the prime example of the show runner being mostly positive the show was getting cancelled, but holding out hope for more. I think if he knew for sure when they were filming, we probably would have seen a Jetney kiss or something a little more… solid between them? They were really cute and I loved seeing Jet get flustered every time he was around her (especially when he would be acting normal 3 seconds earlier), but their romance fell just a teeny bit flat for me this season and I think it’s because Tim was trying to leave the door open for more. I think they were supposed to be more of a “slow burn”, so we got that comment from Gina about Jet asking her out, but then nothing else really happened from there. If we get a spin-off (and I PRAY we get a rina one), I would hope to see more between Jet and Kourt (imagine one with them being the core four!).

Ricky and Gina- I don’t even know how I am going to write this without crying. These two hold such a special place in my heart and watching them finally succeed was everything I could have asked for and more. We got everything with them: duets, Ricky saying “I love you” first, flashbacks, a rain kiss, “Can I Have This Dance”, spin hug, secret dating and more. Val was right when she said that they were the “love each other needed”. From the beginning, we watched Gina feel isolated from East High. She had no friends, a bad family life, and apparently had gotten in a lot of trouble in her previous schools. With Ricky, we saw him navigating this need to be loved so desperately, he ended up pushing those he cared about away even further. If he felt like a mistake or a failure to them, he hid because how could he be anything else but happy around them? He believed the sad parts of him made him unlovable, and that’s where Gina proved him wrong. When everyone else reminded him that he wasn’t wanted at the first show, he never showed up as a good student, he was “in the way”… Gina reminded him he did belong. She reminded him that he had good things to offer, even if it was as simple as just listening to him play a song.

And Ricky did the same for Gina. She was completely isolated and felt like it wasn’t worth getting close to people because she might have to “move again”. She felt like her only business was causing problems and being the number one competition. But Ricky stepped in as a friend, showing her that someone cared enough about her to just ask why she was causing trouble in the first place- and not to get her in trouble, but to let her know someone saw something soft beneath the surface and that he just wanted to pull that side of her out. “Why are you making it your business?” “You’re not that scary”. And he did.

Both of these characters shifted after their first conversation at the dance. They both continued to grow and adapt together, even when they were a part. I loved the flashback in 4x06, as well as the tag in the hat, because it proves that the stars were always aligned in their favor. It was a good lesson to us as the audience that even when all seems lost, there might be better things in the future. “Sometimes the really good stuff begins only when something else ends”. And to enjoy what we have now because it might be a part of the best part of our life. “It’s about the journey, not the destination”.

Time and time again, Rina proved that they were made for each other this season and that they improved each other in the best ways. Ricky told Gina he remembered the things she said (someone who felt forgotten after moving so much) and that he always wants to hear what she has to say (after being pushed aside by EJ all summer). Gina rearranged her life to stay in Salt Lake, rather than making Ricky figure it out (she wasn’t going to leave him like everyone else and not because he told her to stay, but because she genuinely wanted to). She reminded Ricky of his value to her in her good bye speech (saying that he saw her like no one else did and saying that he was the hardest one to talk about, which probably made Ricky feel like a priority and not an after-thought). I have never seen a couple be such a complete and whole puzzle piece like these two.

They were destined to be together because they are each other’s best parts. Their love story is serendipitous.

Things Missing

As much as I loved this season, I felt like there were a lot of elements still missing that I hadn’t already mentioned and I would have loved to have seen fleshed out more. I wish we would have gotten more on Ashlyn’s and Carlos’ body image storylines. I think it’s important to have that representation on screen and the storylines seemed to end as quickly as they started. We also don’t know much about Emmy still. We know that this opportunity felt big for her and she was let down, but that was about all we got. I really, really banked on a chocolates confession and as much as I loved that rain kiss, I think it would have been perfect if Gina would have ran out saying, “you were the one who got me the chocolates” and THEN told Ricky about her mom. I get for the audience it works because now we have confirmation of Ricky getting her them (it’s literally the exact same design of bows), but it would have been nice to see Gina learn about it. I wish we would have seen more of Kourtney and Carlos being the “Ryan and Sharpay” with their need for wanting everything/sassiness- it just seemed to show up a little in the beginning of the series and then wasn’t revisited until the last episode. Lastly, the OG wildcats really still felt like they were missing from this season. I was convinced we were getting guest appearances from Zac, Vanessa, and Ashley, but I guess this is what you get for living in delulu land. And when Monique or Bart showed back up (or anyone else) later in the series I was just like, “oh yeah! They’re in this season”. I just wish they would have been shown a bit more throughout so I didn’t completely forget they were a part of the season (it kind of reminds me of S3 where halfway through I completely forgot Nini even had a storyline- it wasn’t until the last episode I remembered her being around).

The song placements were a bit off for me too. “Just Wanna Be with You” was completely missing and we didn’t get to watch “The Boys are Back” at all… I honestly felt really deprived! I think “The Boys are Back” would have made a great reacquainting song for Ricky and Jet, “Just Wanna Be with You” would have solidified not only rina endgame a bit more but they could have even had jetney sing it to show their endgame more. I don’t think the placement of “Scream” was bad by any means, but I think it might have been better around the time of Ricky visiting EJ because I believe that was when he was truly at his lowest this season. Things were kind of working out for Ricky a little more when he actually sang it, which doesn’t parallel Troy as much (Troy sang it at his absolute lowest of lows). And as much as I wanted to love “I Want it All”, there was something about either the instrumentals or the vocals that made the song not hit as hard for me as the movie. I think Kourtney and Carlos are absolute powerhouses and could have really knocked it out of the park, so I’m not sure what happened there.

Spin-Off

I desperately want a rina spin-off or even one with rina and jetney. I’ve seen some people want a Kourtney spin-off, but I’m not sure how much I would enjoy it because I’m so emotionally tied to Gina/rina. I think a rina college spin-off could be great with other characters coming in and out, as well as a whole new cast. I am sure Tim has more ideas up his sleeve and he could show us rina getting married at the end of the show. It could be about balancing this relationship and college, as well as all of the pressures that come with that. It could be about them figuring out their life together as adults (which would be amazing to see because there really aren’t enough shows based on your 20’s and most of the fan base for this show is in their 20’s!) It could be more mature and hit harder topics, but still in a way that fits the essence of the show we already know. If a spin-off is too much, I would even be happy with a movie. I just want to know what happens after high school for these characters and I really believe we could have gotten that in a season 5, had the show not gotten cancelled what feels to be… a little premature. Tim said he wanted this show to go on for a long time with multiple seasons and/or spin-offs, he has said that he has floated the idea of a rina: college spin-off around, and Josh and Sofia don’t seem to hate the idea. Of course, we’d have to wait on the strikes, but hopefully by the time they are done we’ll hear some news one way or another.

What’s Next?

So, Wildcats, what’s next for me? Well, I’ll still be here. I’ve had these character asks lingering in my inbox but I was gone all last week (literally from morning until night) so I just haven’t had a chance to do them. It might be kind of fun to finish them up now that I’ve seen season 4, but it also makes me sad because I didn’t wait for the other characters… so maybe I might keep the character asks for seasons 1-3 only to keep the playing field even.

Please keep sending me asks and discussion prompts. I love talking to all of you and just because the show is done (for now) doesn’t mean we can’t keep talking about it. I have a lot of drafts of other thoughts and theories etc. relating to the show that have come to mind and I never got a chance to post. But now I feel like I’ve got more time to post them, so be expecting to hear more from me on that front too.

I will also try to keep you guys updated if I hear anymore about spin-offs, movies, etc. and since this is technically a multi-fandom blog (just lately it’s been dedicated to HSMTMTS) you might see me post about some other shows too. If you have any recommendations, let me know.

Well, I guess it’s off to go rewatch the season… and probably a million more times after this. Thanks for everything you guys have given me so far and I pray our adventures will continue.

You’re not a maybe. You’re a yes.

#hsmtmts #high school musical the musical the series #rina #ricky bowen #gina porter #ricky x gina #season 4 #season 4 thoughts

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

for the art ask thingy you reblogged, mayhaps 8, 12, and 17? (don't feel pressured to do them all)

ty for question! there will be a lot of text below bc i like to talk about my art or myself😭 i'm an egocentric😭

8. What do you like most about your own work? It's hard to say, because i criticize myself a lot or treat my art like idkkk things i have to do while i'm still alive?? like creating (anything) is literally the meaning of my life so my work to me it's kinda like a "vacuum the apartment" item in to-do list. you vacuum your apartment, delist it, and then forget about it forever but if to think a little deeper it's hmm i like the style in which i’m drawing rn, though i’m still not really happy with it. but this whole styling thing is super hard to me after years of academic art 💀 if im super tired my hands automatically draw something realistic and this really upsets me bc i don't want to draw realistic things :( i don't post many original art here, but i love the sense of freedom it have, that i’ve worked very hard for and still working on it! like replacing "how to do it acceptably?" with "how i want it, how i feel it and how to do it honest" in my mind. honesty and sincerity are the most important things in my life, work, people etc. there are many problems with this now because of the russian laws and autocracy, which has long been more like totalitarianism. i have a hard time saying and doing what i think, constantly having to go around/come up with metaphors/not putting something out there at all, even changing ideas and plots. it disgusts me, i hope i can emigrate in the next two years or so, freedom is a key value for me and ok if to be more abstract, i like the fact that I draw/etc for myself, i.e i create something that i lack in this world. every time it gives me a feeling of satisfaction (though it doesn't last long) that "there! at last I see what i wanted, what i craved to see". i.e actually i work from "i don't like what there's rn, i want to see it differently, I want to do it other way". as if the store didn't have clothes in your size and and you'd have to sew your own

12. Show your favourite drawing from this year

i realize that this question implies one drawing, but idc and will show several instead of just one :^) the first drawing that comes to mind is this! well it's not exactly a drawing ofc but still. it's one of 54 illustrations for the play "the shadow". i love this work very much (text here says "your country is like every country in the world" in different languages, and on the color block the phrase is "it's all so mixed up", it's quotes from the play)

and three more illustrations for the same play! best part of this year in terms of art is probably that i finally got into lettering. although it's not lettering in the classic sense here, like these lettering aren't meant to be readable, i just think the letters are very pretty:^)

and the last one. this fanart turned out to be very important for me! i drew it some time after my diploma and finally for the first time in a long time allowed myself to loosen up and not think about what others will think. thanks to this art i realized in which style i wanna work:^)

17. What inspires you?

almost anything tbh. movies, books, theater, songs, science, news, colors, clothes, people, whatever in personal projects, it's usually a reflection on current events/experiences talking to people and their stories inspire me a lot on a more simple level: music/songs. i believe that any visual composition is music (even Kandinsky wrote about it and he himself considered his abstract works as painted music). So rhythm, intonation in songs and other things inspire me af. i always make playlists for every big project im working. it's not even about the lyrics of the songs, it's about the vibe/mood they give. (i had an exhibition this summer with illustrations for "the shadow" and like i put a disco projector there and made a 6 hours playlist 😭 bc all the illustration were based on music (and i hate exhibition snobbery, pseudo-intellectualism, and in general when people consider themselves superior to others. i also think that looking at pictures without music is boring) aaaaand i'm also inspired by the words themselves? (you can notice in the pictures above, haha). sometimes by the meaning they carry, sometimes just by the way they look. and the letters inspire me bc that, again, is music to me. the rhythm, the plasticity, the contrast. i just love letters ahahh

thanks again for the question and hope it was interesting! have a good day/night/morning/etc ! 💞

#girl when she got a chance to talk about herself: 📢📢📢📢

[crescent-dreams]

Creator's Corner - Uissuteffu

How did you become a fan of the Inuyasha fandom?

Inuyasha wasn’t the first, but it was definitely the gateway to my love of anime. When the show was put on hiatus to wait for RT to finish the manga, I craved more! I started reading fanfic to fill the gap while I patiently awaited The Final Act.

What are your favourite fanfic tropes as a writer?

All the tropes! To me, fanfiction is about embracing fantasy. I avoid it in original writing, but tropes are fun to share with countless others in the community. I don’t know if I’ve met a (non-morally questionable) trope that I haven’t embraced.

And as a reader?

Haha! Same answer as above. I’m partial to pack dynamics and pining, though.

Which of your work is your personal favourite? The one you are most proud of?

Ikigai. I think it was probably my most unique premise, and I’ve spent a lot of time world-building. I have roughly three books worth of content prepared for it. Plus, it explores issues with mental health through various characters, and I think I’ve handled them with care. When readers leave comments affirming that, it makes me feel extremely proud.

Which SessKag fanfiction by another author is your go-to choice for a great read?

This is an impossible question! First of all, Gilded Sapphire contains many authors that I could list as my favorites. Anyone whose interview pops up in these spotlights likely has a story I’ve revisited several times. I’ll choose someone new to the server whose stories I often revisit. It’s still a hard choice, but I’ll go with Transgressions by Wonderbug (please heed the tags if you read it).

What do you think makes a good story?

A good story has one of two things: creativity or a strong grasp of language, and the ability to use it to invoke imagery. A great story has both!

Is there anything you need while writing? Snacks? Music? A comfy blanket?

Nope. My dynamic when it comes to writing is basically “If I fits, I sits”. I write in bed, in the shower, outside, inside, at the desk, on the couch, on my phone, on my tablet, on the pc. There’s no ritual to it at all.

How do you get your ideas? In your dreams? In the shower?

I don’t know, really. They just kind of hit, and I jot them down in Google Docs.

If you could meet an Inuyasha character, what would you tell them?

I’d like to meet Tōga so I could tell him he’s kind of an asshole for putting Sesshōmaru through that shit in the name of teaching compassion. THERE ARE BETTER WAYS, MY DUDE!

As a writer, which animal (real or otherwise) best describes you?

Can we consider yōkai animals so that I can say “Shirime”? They’re harmless, terrifying little creatures that thrive on scaring people. As a writer of primarily angst and horror, I’d say that’s fairly fitting. P.S. Don’t Google it. Just don’t.

What is your kryptonite as a writer?

I definitely struggle most with trimming dialogue. I’m selectively mute in real life, so conversation isn’t natural or instinctive for me, and I think that often shows in my writing.

What advice would you give someone who wants to start writing?

My answer to this is always a Stephen King quote from his (fantastic) book “On Writing”: “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.”

You can find @uissuteffu on Ao3, Tumblr, Twitter, and Carrd! And please check out our Creator's Corner Masterlist for all our past creators!

#crescent dreams #sesskag #creator's corner #creator's corner author #uissuteffu #support authors #support writers

[zydrateacademy]

Hogwarts Legacy: First Impressions

I said my piece. My reasons haven’t changed. So let’s talk about the game.

I’ve never played a Harry Potter game before this, because they all seemed to just play through the book and movie plot lines over and over again. Sometimes as Lego people. I read the books, watched the movies, and therefore held no interest in the franchises foray into my favored hobby. Until now, because this is literally the game I’ve been waiting for. My own character, their own stories. Right out of the gate I will say the plotline is a little reminiscent of the original plot. However it still twists and turns the original stuff to keep it at least moderately fresh while still being familiar.

You are still “the special” as someone who can see and use traces of “ancient magic” which never goes named, just repeated as “ancient” through the course of the game. Effectively decided to be the only one to deal with the local problem, a sort of goblin rebellion leader who’s tapping into that same magic as a way to brute-force it, notable by the usual coded Red Equals Evil media coding that we’ve seen before (read: Dark Side, or the red lyrium from Dragon Age, countless examples). Some of the plot involves you circumnavigating those machinations while still focusing on school work, much in the same way the original plot lines did. We get the same scene of sneaking into the forbidden library, the room of requirement, and other things. While you have some assistance from other students, they are mercifully not joined at the hip throughout every single adventure. You solo your way through caves and dungeons, the few other students just help grease the wheels a bit as they teach you new spells or introduce hidden areas. I’m particularly fond of Sebastian, your local Slytherin teammate who seems to lead you into all things forbidden and I’m here for it. Still, there are moments that make you think “oh, come on”. The potions professor basically just looks like Alan Rickman but with some facial hair. Perhaps a more agreeable attitude but is still gruff with the students.There’s even a couple of Dumbledore-likes with outfits highly reminiscent of what we’ve seen him wear in the movies.

The pacing of the game, eight hours in, is wonderful. I’ve only had two run-ins with the goblins in the main story (and two other bandit camp encounters), but as far a the main bad guy goes, just the once post-prologue. The game is paced excellently, as it gives you the main plot in bite sized chunks while so far the meat of the game is doing what your character came here for; learning magic. Part of what enchanted those of my age bracket back when we were young; yearning for school work that was more interesting that bored, underpaid teachers droning on about math. Every time a class mission comes up I get overjoyed not because the experience I’ve craved for some years, but also it usually means it has a practical reward by way of new spells and tools to help you traverse the world. It takes a few hours for you to get the broom but after getting there I understand why. By that point you’ve run on-foot to a couple of towns by necessity to finally earning it through a class mission was a joy; and probably one of my favorite moments in the game so far as you tour the skies of Hogwarts with some of the best music to fit the mood. Within all this is the combat, which reminds me of the original Fable but more modernized. There’s both a quick-shield to deflect certain spells as well as a dodge to just roll out of the way from things your shield wouldn’t do much against (like giant troll hammers). I play on normal (the difficulty affects the response time you get for dodging/deflecting) and battles can be quite frantic as you only have so much time to decide whether to deflect-stun or go the easier route of just dodging away while leaving your opponents unaffected by anything so you have to decide what to do after a roll. Combat is all about those split-second decisions and I rather enjoy it, and I haven’t felt overwhelmed quite yet except during on bandit camp encounter that I almost lost because it just threw more enemies at me than I was used to at the time. Learning curve ahoy.

It is perhaps not as much of an open world as one might think. There’s plenty to explore to find chests and loot, sometimes blocked by ways you don’t have access to quite yet. The game doesn’t throw every tool at you immediately to let you loose upon the world and for good reason; because there’s not a whole hell of a lot to do town by town. This is not a “pick a direction and go” kind of world, as early on you get a tutorial notation saying that some activities are straight up locked until you get certain spells. Remember I said it takes about five hours just to get open world flight, that kind of thing.

Side quests seem to be the usual “go to this location, get thing” but the writing and characterization of the quest givers are usually charming enough to see it through, and the objectives are rarely far enough away to be inconvenient and fast travel can be done from nearly anywhere.

I will say as one of my only points of contention is that some of the activities can feel a bit like busywork. I am particularly irritated at Merlin trials, which usually hides its solutions in the immediate area but are not always terribly obvious. If you go to far away from the trial it resets itself, which can also include hopping into your broom to get a vantage point of the area. Even when it’s simple they’re very tedious, and they’re the only way to increase your inventory space (which fills up quickly because loot is absolutely everywhere). I’m okay with the various bandit camps and animal lairs but it does reek of that Ubisoft-ness that has tired gaming in the last few years.

There’s probably plenty more I can say, but that’s almost all I have to say about the game and gameplay. It’s great, I’m quite enjoying it. Obviously there’s still plenty left I need to do but I’m having a great time.  I feel like this game brings to the table that HP fans have wanted. If you wanted the school experience, it’s here in in bite sized chunks, a class or two at a time for you to navigate the wonderfully designed school with all kinds of bits and bobs to discover. If you’re one of those HP fans who thought the combative implications of the world went under explored, then there’s plenty of it to be had here as well between shooting at wolves, spiders, bandits, rebels, and other creatures with fake made-up names.

There’s some buzz about performance. My computer is a few years old but with a decent amount of VRAM. I play on high settings and while I have noticed a couple frame drops during a couple of cutscenes, I have not experienced any crashing or other issues. I’ve also run into a big where my girl would remain targeting a downed enemy which made the dueling tournament a bit complicated to finish but saving and reloading cleared it up.

So yeah, there we have it. I like the game and don’t regret getting it.

#Hogwarts Legacy #Harry Potter

[parker-d-bloodrose]

 Before I go to bed, I want to talk about something. Some of y’all may’ve noticed that I’ve been posting more art over the past week. And like, it’s honestly because of some things that have happened over the past year. Firstly; I’ve gotten back into collecting comics and manga. It was a pursuit I stopped at the behest of my ex-spouse back in... oh I wanna say 2017? “You aren’t even reading them anymore.” Which is kind of correct, because I had shifted my focus from being a reader to being a collector. I’m back to being a reader because I’m being more narrow minded in my focus of what I’m buying. Primarily whatever funky shit catches my attention. Anyway point is. I started getting back into comics and surrounding myself with beautiful art. I’ll be putting the rest of this under the cut.

I’ve also watched many of my illustration friends work and post work and thought it was extremely cool. I even picked up some art books from artists whose work I admire, like Gerald Brom and Yoshitaka Amano. While their art styles are both extremely technical and detailed, and at a level beyond the scope that I personally want to achieve, I still admire and find their work inspirational. Amano’s work in particular, because when I have the time and mental energy I adore playing Final Fantasy 6. It’s just so gorgeous, even though it’s rendered in smooth pixel form.

I’ve also been working on pixel art in general as a way to destress after work, as well as producing my own tokens to sorta fill out my monday game where the art provided for the adventure path just doesn’t have the unique creature I need. It isn’t something I wanted to do beyond pursuing my own hobby interests. I find it extremely relaxing and calming to draw pixel art, much like how other people build mini figs for their TTRPG games. About a week or so ago, I saw an absolutely gorgeous pixel art picture of a woman coming out of a pond and I was just... stunned by what the artist did. I don’t know the resolution or anything but it was, like many other great pixel art pieces I’ve seen, a gorgeous fucking thing to behold. And it struck a chord with me. I realized that pixel art isn’t just about sprites. Sprites are certainly a cool part of it. But the medium can do more than I was allowing myself to do with it. And for awhile I was like “eh it’s fine. I don’t... have to do anything amazing. This is just a hobby.” And then I watched the video “Sekiro’s Parry and Other Pursuits of Perfection.” by Jacob Geller. In it, Geller discusses how playing Sekiro and mastering it led him to wanting to pick up piano playing again, even though he wasn’t intending on composing his own music. He just wanted to get that feeling of playing a perfect note again. I thought it was kind of cheesy but also lowkey? Despite Geller making fun of himself by pointing out how it was typical of a video essayist to veer off track of the original point to talk about a personal anecdote, it was also kind of impactful on me.  As y’all may’ve noticed, I’ve also been playing Sekiro too and while his enjoyment comes largely from knowing what to do next and executing it perfectly like sheet music, my take away from this game is actually different. I enjoy this extremely punishing video game not because I know the timing or whatever, but because I enjoy the challenge of learning something new. I’ve been toying off and on for... quite frankly about as long as I’ve been writing with doing traditional art. I have never considered myself a good illustrator. But, that’s okay. I don’t need to be. I can accept that I am an amateur artist. But I do find that I crave learning a new skill and mastering it. I was going to get better at pixel art. So, with all of these things happening, I made a resolution - I was going to produce a 64 x 64 pixel image myself by the end of the year, one of the largest canvases I’ve ever been comfortable doing shit on. Then I dove into a pixel art tutorial and ended up doing a 100 x 64 pixel image following the steps. But.... a lot of it didn’t look right. I found myself frustrated by my inability to get the landscape to look the way I wanted it to. The mountains were... mountain-shaped and passable. But the image I was referencing had clouds with rim lighting and I did not understand how it was working. My brain couldn’t grok it, so I removed it. There was also a person in the foreground who was sillouhetted. I ended up removing that person and instead focusing on the little wizard tower. Which came out.... mostly fine, except for again the lighting. I very quickly realized that my rudimentary understanding of lighting and shapes needed to be honed. I can’t afford a tablet right now, because I’m actually between jobs (Hello I quit my job and my last day is tomorrow!) and I also don’t really want one because I work more comfortably using a mouse with the kind of art I do. But I can afford a sketchbook, pens, and paper. So, I think what I’m going to do is fill these 100 sheets with sketches. And I’m going to have fun doing it. And I’m going to learn shit. So that maybe by the end of the year I’ll produce an original 64 by 64 pixel image. It’s also been relaxing to have an additional creative outlet aside from writing, because right now I’m kind of suffering from an extremely bad case of writer’s block and I’m having a hard time breaking it. Anyway, it’s late and I actually have work in the morning and this already took me about forty minutes to write so I’m going to bed. I hope y’all enjoyed this personal essay. 

#Irene Rants #art

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Repost: Just Something I’d Like to Say About Jimin

Because of the tone of asks I’ve gotten recently from ARMYs I assume (?) are worried Jimin stans. This is a completely unplanned post and written almost entirely off the cuff.

I’ve tried but I really don’t see what those who fret about him or care enough to type non-stop about how untalented, evil & worthless he apparently is, see.

Despite people who claim Jimin craves attention and blah blah blah, Jimin has always just kinda done his own thing. Acted like a slut when he wanted to. Acted like a hermit when he wanted to. Acted like a hyung when he wanted to, to every other member. Acted like a brat when he wanted to. Acted like a calculating Slytherin libra when he wanted to. Acted MIA on social media when he wanted to.

Here’s how the guy spends his time:

He goes to the dentist.

He dances barefoot.

He stays up all night watching movies and playing video games.

He reads manga, manwha, and manhua. Apparently a lot of it.

He runs 8 km every day. 8 km. Every day. That is marathon-level training (42 km).

He visits museums and apparently buys art almost as frequently as Namjoon does, according to a well known Korean curator.

He eats out.

He lies down on the couch wishing it was possible for someone to bathe him

He falls asleep on the couch

He visits friends. (Can we someday have a conversation about how cool Ha Sungwoon is? Listen to Can’t Live Without You here)

Apparently since he has nowhere to go during the pandemic, he’s stopped shopping for outfits, now he shops for sweatpants.

He makes music with J-Hope.

He works out. Does CrossFit with Yoongi. Works out with Jung Kook. 

He prepares for his online and in-person concert on March 10th - 13th.

He visits resort destinations like Jeju.

He listens to music.

He continues with his full time job as an idol.

He has sex. (please don’t ask me for a source on this one)

And so on. Based on things he and other members have said (as well as the museum curator). 

What, exactly, is the issue with this?

*

*

Here are some things his band mates and self-declared brothers have called him or said to refer to him:

A catalyst

A tardy brat

A dragon

“His voice is my taste. It is what I like”

“God-Jimin” or 갓지민

“The Dongsaeng that’s like a Hyung to [me]”

“The one who carries this song”

Penicillin or blue mold

You are me, I am you

A happy pill

A “man’s man”

And so on.

*

Another thing there’s hardly a point to saying cause duh: he makes good music.

*

For additional reading you can refer to my recent Jimin asks here, here, here, and here.

I’m not certain I’ll be taking any extremely worry-toned asks in the immediate future because I honestly don’t see it - I don’t see the point of it. Maybe I don’t know the guy enough and it’s true he’s idk what. He’s not my bias after all. It’s possible there’s something I’ve missed, though I generally acquaint myself with every interview I’m aware they’ve ever done. If you have a genuine concern please feel free to send me an ask about it - that, I will answer if I can. 

I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am. I think Jimin is fine and hot as hell.

The End.

*

Originally posted: February 16th, 2022 9:54pm

#jimin #jimin only #repost

[astral-omnishambles]

It's just occurred to me that I created this page with the intention of sharing my writings and that I never actually did that. Gonna change that. Here's a lil blurb I did about 4 billion years ago in response to a given prompt.

TW: depression and suicidal ideation. The Twelfth Doctor was not a happy man and you can't convince me otherwise. Not me writing angst to spite the smut gods.

Be Lightweight When I Go

One word writing challenge "Lust".

I can’t remember the last time I felt lust. Such a foreign thought. Lust in the traditional sense, that is, though there are remnants of something unplaceable lingering in the tattered remains of my memory-deprived hearts. I’m sure it’s her, but I don’t really know who she is. Did I ever? Was she ever real? It’s so hard to say when not even my own timeline flows in a straight line. No definitive end and no definitive beginning. It makes a man question whether or not even sanity is real.

Or perhaps it’s a lot more simple than that. Maybe it isn’t her. Maybe it’s consistency I crave. That would make sense, though that brings up the question: can a man lust for consistency? It does fall outside the lines of the aforementioned “traditional sense.” I’ve noticed that a need as strong as the one I’ve experienced for the plain things in life evoke a similar feeling to that of ”traditional” lust. The hole in my chest and the longing for something so desperately out of reach.

And that begs its own question: have I really ever experienced lust for what it really is? I’ve read just about every book there is to read. I’ve met more people than there are stars in the ever-expanding universe and still I find myself wondering exactly what lust is. Is it merely a longing? Is it specifically sexual? Is it one of those terms ever morphing with the passage of time? Yes. I think that may be the case, making my quest for the answer that much more difficult as one who exists outside of it.

Or, similarly, maybe it’s that everyone defines it differently. So then, what does it mean to me? I’ll be damned if I know anymore. Lust. I think it’s a want for something that will ultimately unravel a person and make them forget all the things that make them hurt even if just for a little while. If my hypothesis is correct, I lust for just two things.

First and foremost, I believe I might lust for death. I’ve lived far too long and yet, every time I touch the edge of release, I find myself spiraling back into the chaos of survival. Living yet again, but with the added confusion of a new mindset. With each new leap into my own future, I find myself wishing it was the last one regardless of how hopeful their disposition seems to be. The unending undertone of something much darker than a black hole and with just as much time-slowing suction. Rest. I lust for rest at long last. I will never compensate for the crimes I’ve committed and I’m beyond accepting that, resigning now to a desire to relinquish responsibility to someone or something much more qualified.

The second is much less weighty. I’m plagued with a question in recent years and, with this revelation, it seems I’ve come full circle. The face of a young girl with eyes far too big for her far too wide face. I don’t actually remember what it looks like, but I do recall this particular fact. I remember snippets of events – some I know must’ve been particularly memorable, but the bits I should really remember are just gone. I remember a train. I remember a tune. I remember a name. I remember a question and what I lust for here is the answer. It won’t cure the rash my need for ultimate freedom has afforded me, but it’d certainly scratch the itch. Who is Clara and why did I forget her?

Music, theme and title inspiration: Moonlight - Foals

PS: I can't remember exactly where I got this gif from originally, so if you happen to know, I'd love to credit them. It was tied to this piece before i understood the importance of crediting gifs. Thanks!

#twelfth doctor #writing #fanfiction #doctor who #old works #foals #peter capaldi

[piilokarsastus]

You wanna find out some personal shit?

1. Any scars? Nothing cool. I do have a little dent on my forehead from the time my friend accidentally drew blood on me with a toy sword when we were like 12 but that’s about it. But yesterday, I accidentally caused myself a 7 cm long (and luckily very shallow) cut on my forearm so we’ll see what happens with that.

2. Self harmed? I’ve done things that probably count as self harm but I’ve never cut myself (on purpose...) or anything like that.

3. Crush? Not at the moment, although there’s a person who could definitely change that if we saw each other a bit more often.

4. Kissed anyone? It’s been like 2,5 years but yeah.

5. Coke or Pepsi? I don’t like to breathe in carbon dioxide, much less drink it.

6. Someone you hate? Conservatives. What exactly is it that you’re trying to conserve? Society has always been in constant change and there’s little you or anyone can do to stop it. Seriously, didn’t you learn anything from the Congress of Vienna?

7. Best Friends? I’ve had several but I’m currently in a phase where I’m not that close to anyone.

8. Have you ever done alcohol or drugs? No. I’ve tasted alcohol plenty of times but I don’t think it counts as “doing” it if I don’t get drunk.

9. What’s your dream job? Teaching music theory somewhere in higher education (you know, with motivated adult students who don’t have to be disciplined)

10. Ever been in love? Yes

11. Last time you cried? Last proper cry was probably in January but my eyes have been known to get watery whenever I see a tiktok about someone’s cat passing away.

12. Favorite color? There are so many good colours out there but I’m gonna say ultramarine blue.

13. Height? 170 cm

14. Birthday? September 6

15. Eye color? [shrug emoji]

16. Hair color? a very deep brown

17. What do you love? classical music. nature. cats. food.

18. Obsession? classical music. nature. cats. food.

19. If you had one wish, what would it be? That no human was capable of any sort of violence towards other humans. I think that would pretty much solve every problem we have as a society.

20. Do you love someone? romantically, no

21. Kiss or hug? why not both?

22. Nicknames people call you? none at the moment

23. Favorite song? Ravel’s “Asie” does give me the chills every time

24. Favorite band? The Netherlands Bach Society

25. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? finding out my crush chose someone else over me is up there but I’m so very over it now

26. Best thing that has ever happened to you? idk

27. Something you would change about yourself? nothing much, just like my entire face and body #justnonbinarythings

28. Ever dated someone? yes. it’s been five years... but yes.

29. Worst mistake? Hard to say. Me choosing to get to know aforementioned crush did lead to a very weird and not always easy 2022 but I guess it lead to some growth as well.

30. Watch the movie or read the book? If we’re talking adaptations, the original is always better.

31. Ever had a heartbreak? yup.

32. Favorite show? Better Call Saul

33. Best day of your life? there have been many great days in my life but just based on concentration of emotions felt in a singular day, none have felt quite as great as high school graduation day on June 2nd 2018.

34. Any talents? I’m great at making music and a pretty solid writer. I also have a fantastic memory.

35. Do you wish you could ever start over? Start over what, my life in general? There are experiences I’d like to relive and things I wish I experienced but never did, but I’m reasonably happy with how things have turned out. I have often wondered what my life would be like if I were a different person altogether but that’s kind of the point of “self”, if I was any different I’d be someone else.

36. Any bad habits? indulging like every single craving i get. god giving me access to wolt was a mistake of drastic consequenses

37. Ever had a near death experience? no

38. Someone I can tell anything to? my mum 

39. Ever lost a loved one? no

40. Do you believe in love? yes. it sure is a thing that exists.

41. Someone you hate/Dislike? wasn’t there a question like this already?

42. Are you okay? honestly, yes? more so than in a long time.

43. Relationship status? single, and for the first time in 5 years it doesn’t seem to be bothering me that much.

#random info about me

[ear-worthy]

The Last Resort Podcast Premieres About California’s Independence Movement

You might think that a podcast that documents an organized movement for California to succeed from the United States would be a dizzy narrative about hippies, tree huggers, and people on the fringes. You might roll your eyes and whisper, “California people,” but the podcast doesn’t judge. It explains and clarifies.

It’s not. Instead, it’s an insightful and compelling narrative about competing visions for the United States. This podcast is especially timely now, since earlier this year, the Texas Republican Party in June urged the Texas legislature to a require a referendum on Texas succeeding from the union. Even Mississippi has made noise about leaving the union, but the state can find no one to say stop.

Anyway, this documentary podcast series is hosted by activist and musician Xiuhtezcatl Martinez (phonetic spelling: shoo-TEZ-kaht), follows the rise, fall, and rebirth of Calexit: the campaign for Californian Independence. The first two episodes premiered on October 18. New single episodes will be released weekly on Tuesdays

Martinez, a musician, activist, and a prolific voice for his generation, is a gifted narrator for the first season of the podcast. In the eight episodes, he dives deep into the rise, fall, and rebirth of the Calexit movement (a campaign for California’s independence) to explore what would happen if California seceded from the United States.

Over eight half-hour episodes, Martinez guides listeners through Calexit’s origin story, the organizers’ alternative vision for America’s future, and how two friends who started on the political fringe ended up in the middle of a still-unfolding global criminal conspiracy involving the FBI and Russian Intelligence.

The Last Resort was developed by Interval Presents, Warner Music Group’s (WMG) in-house podcast network, and produced by Awfully Nice.

“What drew me to exploring the Calexit story was how it forced us to examine the things that fundamentally connect us while underscoring how we are more divided than ever as a country,” said Martinez, who was influenced from childhood by his Indigenous Mexican lineage and American upbringing to use his voice and his music to pursue social change. “Calexit is really just the entry point for a complex story about the many visions of the future that are competing to take root,” Martinez continued. “I’m excited for the opportunity to partner with Interval Presents on The Last Resort. I hope the show inspires conversation and thought around the issues and stories that are shaped by our history and that will determine our future.”

“Interval Presents is excited to launch this new series and share a compelling story with our listeners craving forward-thinking podcasts,” said Allan Coye, general manager of Interval Presents and WMG’s senior vice president of Digital Strategy & Business Development. “With Xiuhtezcatl’s unique perspective as a voice for his generation, The Last Resort is our foray into documentary storytelling to probe today’s cultural and social issues and provide a platform for trending discussions. We’re creating exceptional and culture-driven content to connect our audience to meaningful topics that speak to their own identities and interests.” In a tale that appears to about only politics, Martinez and Awfully Nice have instead crafted a fascinating tale of how some people can view themselves an instrument of change for the better.

Check out the first two episodes of The Last Resort.

As English playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, “Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

#podcast #california #politics