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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 1 month

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medialog february 2k24

is it almost april. yes. am i letting that stop me. no. the perfect is the enemy of the good!

watched

she must be seeing things - a 1987 indie about a woman who gets obsessively jealous about her girlfriend's past after discovering her collection of photographs of ex-boyfriends; this movie contained one of the most human-feeling love scenes taking place between two characters in an established relationship i have ever seen, and captured the feel of new york city apartments inhabited by the un-rich in a visceral way. it is also a funny movie about how annoying artists are. i am like sincerely curious as to whether jonathan larson, during the years before or while he was developing rent, caught a screening of this (it had its premiere at film forum, where i saw it), because a story of sexual jealousy between a very professional black lesbian lawyer and her irritating yet captivating white bisexual artist girlfriend... did feel a little familiar to me as a person who could still belt out every line of take me or leave me in my sleep, ngl!

poor things - we've discussed this but: Yes. Me. Absolutely. i wanted to live in the world of this movie forever, it could have been four hours long and i NEVER say that shit. one of those where sometimes i see critiques or queries i think are valid and i nod peacefully and think: ah, but it wasn't for that; it was for me, to have a treat. also one of those where people are saying some bonkers ass shit about it all over the place, as we have also discussed; i do genuinely believe that reading it as in any way interested in or convinced it is describing a story of female empowerment is deeply misguided, and that much of the pleasure of the movie comes from the fact that bella doesn't need to be empowered, because she has been lucky enough to be raised as an experiment rather than as a woman, which is a fun sexy provocation that is of course nonsensical if taken literally but incredibly fun for me (the person this movie was for) to sit with for two hours.

office space - i watched this in high school and HAAAATED it, was bored out of my mind, and then every time it came up in conversation, which it did a lot because this is how things were in high school in 2005, i would say i didn't get it and the person i was talking to would say, "you have to watch it twice." i don't think i've ever had an experience with a piece of media where the response to my response was so reliably uniform. anyway yeah this is funnier the second time. stephen root might be our greatest living actor idk

drive-away dolls - YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCHHHHHHHH

the heartbreak kid - elaine may's mikey and nicky is one of the most emotionally brutal films i've ever watched, but i think i found this harder to sit through. it's brilliant - i talked about it with a friend who'd seen it sometime earlier who said it was the first movie she could remember seeing that confronted men's fantasies so directly, which is apt - but absolutely excruciating. i never really understood what the film people were talking about when they talked about the use of cuts to build/release tension until the scene at a restaurant where a guy keeps winding himself up to break up with his wife on their honeymoon, and not doing it, and the camera just makes you stay with him until you are begging for relief.

sex, lies & videotape - rewatch with director's commentary. steven soderbergh is definitely on the list of famous people i delusionally believe i could be friends with if the circumstances of life had caused our paths to overlap.

zone of interest - another one that has really Brought Out The Takes, about which i'll just say: no one in this movie is turning a blind eye to what they're doing with the possible exception of the mother, who's happy to join in with some chattily murderous antisemitism but finds the material reality of it too distasteful to stay (in at least one potential reading of a plot point left interestingly ambiguous). personally i thought the film was (1) almost completely disinterested in the question of the banality of evil (2) quite good.

mission: impossible - i talked my friend into going through the series with me and we started off with a double-header; the colors in this movie are sooooooo good. tom cruise at this point has obviously had work done by xenu's finest specialists but revisiting this did remind me that he actually also genuinely always has looked quite young for his age - he's 34 in this but he looks like a baby.

mission: impossible - 2 - i literally can't believe there are people who don't like this movie. grow up

read

monster midway: an uninhibited look at the glittering world of the carny, william lindsay gresham - i guess i don't know what i expected from a nonfiction book about the carnival by the author of nightmare alley, the great american novel, but it definitely wasn't 300 pages about how the carnival is the most special and wonderful place on earth and the people who've given their lives to it are the noblest, boldest, most magical folks you can find. i particularly enjoyed the section on palmistry as cold-reading, which included a long quote from fake psychic about how really most people just need to be told some basic emotional truths and to believe in themselves, so if she can give them that, that's a dollar well spent, which is tbh hard to argue with.

listened

rosie tucker - tiny songs vol. 1 - rosie tucker came onto my radar through one of dave's mixes, which i'm still listening to - her song "all my exes live in vortexes," which opens "i hope no one had to piss in a bottle at work to get me the thing i ordered on the internet," caught my ear - and while i haven't delved further into her discography, i did love this 12-track, 10 minute album (not a typo!), which gives you the sense of someone spitballing an idea for a song just long enough to start it, then losing interest and moving on to the next one, but in a good way? idk it's fun and weird and only 10 minutes!

#media 2k24 #isabel 2k24

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bookskittychad · 17 days

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again any arab can vote, non arabs tho....no.

#I'm so curious like i wanna know #If you're non arab you can only reblog i gauss but do NOT vote #Polls

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sassy-ahsoka-tano · 2 years

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Hunka Hunka Burnin Love

Character/Fandom: Austin Butler

Requested: yes - nonnies ♥️

Prompt: You were cast in the role of Dixie Locke, Elvis' girlfriend from Memphis, which means you've spent quite a bit of time with the star of the show, Austin. He can't seem to keep his hands off of you on the red carpet and others are starting to notice. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: Aus is kinda rough in this ngl but i think that's all?

Rating: M, it's pwp let's be honest here || Word Count: 3986

A/N: it's been a hot min since i graced y'all with some smut, but i hope you enjoy this one cause i have like 3 more smuts queued for this week so BUCKLE UP BABES I HOPE U BROUGHT UR HORNY HATS

also let's play a game lolol i describe aus's outfit in this and i want y'all to send me pics of which outfit you think i'm describing lmao

🦋 mila

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You glance in the mirror one more time, fluffing up your hair with your fingers. You stick your lips out into a pout and peer into the glass before shaking your head with embarrassment. What are you doing? You shouldn’t be egging him on in public like this. It’s not professional.

Since being cast as Dixie Locke, one of Elvis’ ex-girlfriends, you’d been spending a lot of time together with Austin. Maybe a little too much time. It has been an honor playing the part and, although it seems small, you’ve filmed a large number of scenes with the leading man. As can be expected with a man as fine as Austin Butler, you found yourself catching feelings pretty quickly. Austin is just so handsome, sweet, and respectful. He’s irresistibly charming, practically magnetic. It’s only natural that you would fall in love with him.

Although you haven’t used the words “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” yet, you both know that your relationship is exclusive. Even though you’d made the decision together, you’d also agreed that it’s best to keep your relationship a secret until the press from the movie has died down.

As far as the public is concerned, you and Austin are friends. And you’re going to stay friends because that’s what is best for your relationship, both professionally and emotionally. Whether it was best for your sexual or mental well-being is a different question, but you push the thought out of your mind, turning around to check out your ass in the floor-length black gown. You heave a deep breath and exit the women’s bathroom. As soon as you step out, you hear your name being called by Olivia. You turn toward her with a smile, making your way over to where she’s standing. She holds out her hands and you take them with an excited squeeze.

“You look so incredibly hot!” Olivia says with a big grin. You pretend to pose for the camera, fluttering your eyelashes with a giggle.

“Thank you, but I’m nothing compared to you, queen!” you shout back, gesturing at her amazingly gorgeous white dress. She laughs and then twirls around with a curtsey.

“Holy shit…”

You whirl around at the sound of that familiar deep voice behind you. You know it’s Austin before you can even see him. Your breath hitches in your throat as you gaze over at him. He looks so incredibly handsome in a black suit with a subtle sparkle to it and a silky black scarf hanging loosely around his neck. Out of instinct, you bite your lip and smile at him as you catch his eyes tracing down your figure. You feel flustered, heat rising into your face and ears as Olivia starts a conversation with Austin about all of your outfits.

Soon, it’s time for you all to go out to the red carpet for pictures and interviews. You have been informed that most of your photos will be singular shots of you, but obviously a few will be taken with Austin since your characters are so close in the film. But for now, you’re about as far from him on the carpet as you possibly could be. You maneuver yourself onto your designated space on the carpet, propping a hand on your hip sassily. The dress was designed by Gucci and it hugs your body in all the right places. The black matching heels are extremely tall, elongating your legs in a way that makes them look impossibly tall and toned. You feel sexy, you have to admit. You glance to the right to flash a smile at some reporters shouting your name. Since you're looking the other way, it scares you when Austin’s hand expertly slides around the back of your waist.

“Hi gorgeous,” that low seductive voice of his practically moans into your ear. You flip around and smile up at him, unable to stop your eyes from darting down to his lusciously plump lips.

“Hi there,” you whisper back.

He is so beautiful and even more so when he’s staring down at you like that, with his eyes hungrily searching every centimeter of your body. You feel heat creeping back into your face again, so you avert eye contact and return to posing for the cameras. You let your hand momentarily rest on Austin’s chest, your fingers slyly pushing the half-buttoned fabric out of your way. His fingers curl around your waist and your hand on his chest, pulling you closer to him.

“You look so sexy, babe,” he says, bending his head down into your hair.

He presses a soft kiss to the top of your head and your eyes go wide. He’s kissed your hand and your cheek in public before, but somehow this feels much more intimate. Much more dangerous. And he lingers for a moment, just a second too long.

“Thank you,” you reply, tossing your head back and away from him.

“You know, there's a place we could go for a while,” he says quietly into your ear.

Your surprise at his suggestion sparks a physical reaction as your ankle slips off the side of your heel. You teeter backward for a moment before Austin’s hand tightens around your waist to keep you from falling and completely embarrassing yourself.

“Jesus Christ, sorry,” you mutter and shrug with a nervous smile at the reporters who are erupting into a chorus of chuckles as they continue to flash their cameras.

“Weak in the knees for me, are ya?” Austin teases with a stupid smirk resting on his face. You choke out a chuckle and shake your head but his grip tightens around your waist. “It’d just be the two of us. We could…you know..."

You feel his fingers dropping lower on your back, starting to curve over the top of your ass. Your hand shoots back to bring his hand back up to your waist.

“Wouldn’t everyone notice?" you hiss. "I mean, you are the star. It’s not like you can just disappear for an hour without being missed.”

You push yourself out of his grasp and lean up to peck his cheek innocently. You’ve spent too much time together taking photos and are paranoid that the media will get suspicious.

“Just meet me in the back hallway by the bathrooms. I’ll take care of everything.”

He turns toward the cameras, smiling with a wave before moving on to a different section of the carpet to take photos with Helen, who plays Elvis’ mother Gladys. Your eyes can’t help but drift to his ass as he walks away, and you bite your lip as you think about grabbing onto it with all of your strength as he-

“Y/N here!” a photographer’s shrill yell interrupts your thoughts.

You finish up the last of the photos and then allow yourself to quietly sneak out of view. Playing a more minor character is about to work in your favor. It means that you can disappear for a while without anyone really noticing. But you would be absolutely mortified if any of the press catches you doing this.

Your heart races as you run along the quiet hallway, searching for the bathroom that you’d used earlier. You breathe a sigh of relief when you find it and press yourself against the cold brick wall outside of the door. The pull out your phone to check your messages. Tons from your friends, family and followers have wished you luck and sent lovely messages. But none are from Austin.

“You made it. Good.”

You glance up from your screen to see none other than your dirty little secret approaching you. He leans against the wall, positioning his hand near your head. You gulp nervously and crane your neck to peer up at him.

“What did you have in mind?” you tease, knowing full well what he has in mind, but refusing to believe that he would actually be so bold as to do it in public at an event for which he’s the main attraction.

He shrugs, quickly glancing around the hallway before leaning over you. His free hand travels up to cup your face, and he drags a finger down your cheekbone and onto your lips. As his fingertip slides down your skin, it latches onto your bottom lip, pulling it out and then releasing it. You giggle breathlessly, feeling your breathing speed up. His beautiful lips hang open, looking incredibly tasty and so suckable.

Your eyes trace his beautiful Cupid’s bow and you smirk up at him, sticking your neck even further out to reach his lips. You watch his jaw clench as he tilts his head, bringing his lips to brush against yours as you heave shaky breaths from your mouth. You reach out to grasp onto the collar of the black dress shirt, the silk feeling satisfying in your fingers. You try to yank him closer to you, but he resists. He brushes his lips against yours again and you inadvertently whimper, tightening your grip on his shirt. He pulls back, the air between you suddenly filled with a cold breeze. You huff out of frustration and flatten your lips into a hard line.

“Get in the bathroom,” he commands.

You huff again but gather the ends of your dress and enter the women’s bathroom. Once inside, you stand perfectly still, the potential consequences of this decision starting to hit you. The realization that you and Austin haven’t done anything more than make out is also beginning to settle in your gut. You don’t have much time to dwell on it, though, because when Austin bursts into the bathroom, his hands are on you immediately. He grasps the sides of your face and pulls your lips onto his. You reach up to grab his wrists, already feeling breathless.

He walks you back until your ass hits the wide marble-countered row of sinks. His hands slide down your neck, lingering around your throat for just a moment before releasing the pressure and trailing down your shoulders to rest on the outside of your thigh. He grasps your skin tightly through the dress and hoists your legs up and around his waist so that he can slide you back onto the counter. The combination of the smooth marble and the expensive silk of your dress propel your body backward, and you slam into the wall-length mirror mounted above the sinks. As your back makes contact with the glass, your lips break apart and you gasp.

Austin takes that opportunity to reach over with his long arms and slam the door to the bathroom shut before twisting the lock. You lean back against the mirror and you finally have a minute to take in the dripping sensation in your pussy. Austin returns to his position at the edge of the counter and relatches his fingers onto your thighs, pulling you into him. You groan at the contact of your throbbing heat to the hard length you can feel through his pants. You can tell by its firmness that he’s had this erection all night. You giggle at the thought of him trying to hide it.

He smirks, grabbing onto your jaw and smashing his lips against yours. His hand reaches underneath the dress to slide slowly up your thigh, pinching at the skin so hard that you wince into his lips.

You reach down to pull on his belt buckle, jerking him against you harder. You moan when he groans into the kiss. His lips slip off yours and turn to your neck, biting and sucking all over the skin below your jaw. One of your hands travels up his toned frame and into his hair, yanking hard on the golden curls. Austin moans into your neck, and you begin to buck your hips, begging for more contact. Austin pulls back and reaches further up your thigh, latching his fingers around the band to your panties before harshly moving the fabric to the side.

He gently runs a finger up your slick folds. You shudder underneath his touch and grip harder onto his hair. He smirks in response, biting your earlobe and pulling it with his teeth. The combination of his hot breath tickling the inside of your ear and the shot of pain on your lobe makes you throw your head back with a gasp. He runs another finger over your folds and then gently slides one inside. He places his thumb on your clit, circling it while he pumps his finger in and out of you. You wiggle onto his long, slender finger. It’s not enough, you need more.

“More,” you whisper through a breath, in between moans. “I need more.”

“Dirty girl,” he growls, moving straight into three fingers.

He wastes no time, either, slamming his fingers in and out of your folds faster than he was before. You begin to feel the pleasure swell in your stomach, and your hips move against his hands as he returns to assault your neck. He bites onto the skin and pulls it between his teeth. Your hand moves to grab Austin’s shoulder, pulling his hand deeper inside of your soaking wet pussy.

He hits the spot where you need him most, and your head falls back against the glass, projecting your moans into the room. Your free hand deftly unlatches his belt and pushes it out of the way before unbuttoning his pants and sliding into his underwear. You grab onto his length and run your fingers over the dripping tip, feeling the slimy precum leaking out of him. He growls as you begin to pump him.

You gasp for air when his fingers slide out of you and glare down at him. His hair is disheveled, the curls wildly twisting this way and that. He sticks his fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the skin and pulling each finger out with a pop. You bite your lip, moaning quietly at the sight of him sucking your juices down.

“Get down, turn around, bend over,” he orders and you obey, sliding off the counter and turning around.

He approaches you, running his fingers down your sides and onto your ass. Then he crouches to run his fingers up your legs, toward the inside of your thighs and then up onto your ass. He pushes the fabric of your dress out of the way. You shudder under his teasing touch, arching your back to push your ass closer to his hands. You giggle breathlessly as you feel his fingers curl around the waistband to your panties, pulling them down to your ankles. His fingers grip the inside of your thighs and spread your legs.

He runs a soft hand over your ass before spanking it with an open palm. Your body jolts forward and you suck in another breath of air. He leans forward, biting the skin of your ass, before moving to pull his pants down. You watch over your shoulder as his dick springs free and bite your lip at the size of it. He smirks and gives himself a few good pumps before walking toward you. His fingers slide against your folds again, pumping into you. You arch your back in response, letting your top half lean against the counter for support.

“So fucking wet, baby girl,” he hisses. “So fucking wet for me.”

You moan in response and arch your back even more to let him know that you want his dick inside of you now. He understands and immediately pushes into you with no complaints. You whimper, knowing that his full length is stretching out your walls. You wind your waist in a circle around him, gripping at the roots of your own hair to offset the pleasure. He hisses, slapping your ass hard before digging his fingers into the skin. It hurts, and you yelp in pleasure.

He begins to slam into you. Mercilessly. The sounds of moaning and skin hitting skin echo around the hollow room. As your noises bounce off the walls, you suddenly remember that you're in a public place. You feel Austin’s hands circle around to the front of your thighs, gripping onto the skin and pulling your legs against him so that he could fuck you deeper and harder. You scream out as his full length slides in and out of your wet folds with ease. With each thrust, your pussy grows more and more sensitive and the waves of pleasure build higher and higher. Mimicking these feelings, your moans rise higher and higher, sucking the breath out from your stomach and throat.

“Fuck baby you’re taking me so good,” Austin says with a groan.

You moan back in response, unable to speak as your body begins to shiver under his force. At this point, you are hardly moaning and making more of a high-pitched barking sound instead as you approach your peak. Your ass and thighs slam back against his legs with so much force, that you can feel your ribs knocking against the edge of the marble counter. You can already feel your legs burning and beginning to shake under the force of his thrusts. Your knees begin to buckle as you cum, and you grip onto the sides of the counter with white knuckles. You try to steady yourself as your body shakes uncontrollably, tears brimming in your eyes from the stimulation.

“Fuck, Aus…” you groan out as you come down from your orgasm.

You hear his pleasure-filled moans behind you as he pumps himself to completion. Your legs are vibrating with pleasure and you remain still out of fear that you won't ever walk again. Austin's breath is still hot against your skin. The room is full of your panting breaths. Your fingers are white with the pressure of holding so tightly onto the counter, trying to support your body weight. Austin releases you and pulls back to readjust himself and comb through his touseled, sweaty hair.

He smirks with a chuckle and reaches out to grab the end of your chin between his thumb and forefinger. He pinches it and runs his tongue over his teeth and lips before winking. His arms snake around your waist, gently turning you around and pulling you against him. His fingers tangle in your hair, scratching your scalp. You close your eyes at the comfort, humming softly.

“You should clean yourself up, baby girl. I’ll give you a few minutes and then see you out there,” he says in between pants.

He presses his hot, sweaty cheek against yours for a moment and then kisses the outside of your ear before leaving you alone in the bathroom.

You manage to hold yourself up long enough for the door to shut behind Austin, but the moment he vanishes, you feel your shaking muscles give out and you lower yourself down as gently as you can onto the ground in the bathroom. The cold, hard tiles feel good against the hot, swollen skin of your thighs. You lean your head back against the wall and close your eyes, trying to get your breath back to normal. After a few moments of rest, you reach down to pull your panties back up, wincing as you lift your hips and legs to pull the fabric over your ass cheeks.

You grab onto the wall, dragging yourself to stand. As soon as you put pressure on your legs, you groan. Your knees start to buckle and you lower yourself down again. You take a few more deep breaths and try again, working through the soreness this time, although you have to lean heavily on the wall for support. If anyone were to walk into the bathroom at this moment, they probably would ask if you needed an ambulance.

You look like a baby giraffe just learning how to walk, with your knees pointed inward and legs spread out. You gently try to bring your legs together, feeling them shake violently with the pressure of your body weight. Whimpers fly through your mouth as the sore lips of your pussy touch. You waddle over to the sinks, bent at the waist and too afraid to stand up quite yet.

You glance at yourself in the mirror and audibly gasp. Your hair is completely ruined. It looks more like a bird’s nest than a sexy messy updo. Your red lipstick is smudged over the edge of your lips and even down your jaw, onto your neck. You lean forward to touch your lips, immediately clocking how swollen and red they are from the relentless attack of Austin’s teeth and lips sucking and biting the skin.

You reach over the counter to grab at your purse. Thank god Christine, your stylist, has given you access to the lipstick you are wearing tonight. And thank god you always carry a small comb in your bag. You start with the lipstick first, using a damp paper towel to erase as many of the smudged red marks as you can. You also dab at some of the black eyeliner which has turned your undereye into a raccoon's. As carefully and best you can, you reapply the lipstick and brush your eyelashes back into place with your fingertips. Finally, you unclip the ties and bobby pins from your hair to rake the comb through your locks. You’ll never be able to recreate the masterpiece that Christine had, so you use some water to slick your hair back into a ponytail. You're sure that people will wonder why and how your hairstyle miraculously changed halfway through the evening, but you could always pull the “it was hurting my head” routine.

You readjust your dress the best you can, pulling it into place and spinning around to make sure you don’t have any noticeable stains. Glancing once more at yourself in the mirror, you shrug and exit. It’s not gonna get much better than this with the materials you have at your disposal.

You exit out the back door of the building and into the crowded press area to join your castmates. It takes everything in you not to wince as you walk, each step aggravating the soreness in your thighs and crotch. You smile at Olivia as you sidle up next to her and, out of the corner of your eye, you watch as she does a double take.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” she asks, leaning over to whisper into your ear. You nod.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just that you were sort of limping as you walked over here,” she replies with a shrug.

Oh yeah…you know it was leg day yesterday and I’m just feeling extra sore. Plus, the heels don’t help.”

You laugh nervously as Olivia’s eyebrow quirks. She sizes you up momentarily before straightening her head to pose for a cast photo. While your concentration is pulled to the side, focused on Baz relaying a story to the press, you feel a familiar warm hand slide around your waist. Austin has joined you.

You immediately feel heat rising into your ears just thinking about what you’ve done. You sheepishly glance over at him. He smirks and winks ever so slightly at you, and you can’t stop the coquettish giggle that escapes your lips.

“You sly bitches,” Olivia whispers. “I knew it wasn’t leg day yesterday.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, eyes wide with horror. You feel Austin’s grip around your waist tense.

“You two seriously have no idea how fucked out you look, do you? Oh don't worry, I won't say anything. But I did have a sneaking suspicion that you were together,” Olivia laughs. She tilts her head to address Austin. “Fucked her that good, did you Austin?”

You cover your mouth with your hand, trying to hide from your own embarrassment as Austin’s face heats up into a bright lobster red.

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Reblogs, likes, comments + feedback are extremely appreciated! Please help support your content creators!

**If you notice any triggers or grammatical errors that I missed, please let me know! :)

taglist: @mrsjna @floralcyanide @austinbutler17 @slutforsomegoodlettuce @cb97slut @datsavageavenger @misspygmypie @yourfriendhenrywinter @queenslandlover-93 @kittenlittle24 @slutforblueeyes @theliterarybeldam @guns-n-queen @x-earthangel @adoreyouusugar @butler-trouble @kaycinema @mamaspresley @dontbesussis @littledanette @yagirlalexx @hangmanswhore @dark-as-love @adoreyouusugar @gemstone9 @austin-butlers-gf @dollfaceyourfear @dances-and-dolly-dresses @coldonexx @austin-butlers-gf @sagesolsticewrites @mommy-maia @atombombbibunny @lexlexl3x @solo-pitstop-vibes @hopefulinlove @lordandmistress @domaniquessidehoe @elvismylove-blog @amiets2 @itsametaphorbriansblog

#austin butler #elvis #austin imagine #austin butler fic #milasthings #milasaustincontent #milasfics #milasaustinfics #dirty deeds

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idridian · 9 months

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'delusional watari apologist' is such a funny stance for L to take ngl

(asterisk footnotes under the cut)

* "komm schon" means "come on" but the english translation simply doesn’t convey the incredible Vibe of that line properly so here you go. ask for clarification on what i mean by this at your own risk

** part of hands down one of my favourite moments in the drama: Police Guy: "Does your butler have a permit for that assault rifle?" L: "He's not my butler" Watari: "Technically that's a sniper rifle"

*** the guy's name is Lutz Mackensy and he has quite the resumé. further german dub work highlights of his include doc brown from bttf, hans gruber from die hard, casear flickerman from the hunger games films, po's adoptive dad from kung fu panda, and (the one that made me personally scream and cry because of Reasons) frank poole from 2001: a space odyssey

#death note #dn audio drama #watari #quillsh wammy #quillish wammy #ramblings o' mine #they made watari sassy and i love them for that

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theharrowing · 6 months

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i was tagged by @sailoryooons and @eoieopda in this incredibly funny game (as the killer from both 💀lmaooo.)

if you and your moots starred in a horror film, who would fill each role?

1. decides the creepy house is safe: ngl i feel like @here2bbtstrash would shrug and ask, “what’s the worst that could happen?” in your adorably nonchalant way.

2. screams like a baby: @neoneunnajimin girl, no offense, but you’d be elbowing everyone and screaming your head off even from nothing. i feel like @moonleeai would also be huddled up like a baby (i’m sorry i love you.)

3. scares you as a joke: i know @eoieopda assigned yourself as this role but i can just feel this chaotic energy from you. (i would tag matchy here too if i could.)

4. the first to go missing: @madbutgloriouspond, but only because you like to wander off on her own; you’re probably perfectly fine and may even come back with the killer’s head as a trophy, surprising us all.

5. the first to go insane: probably me, tbh. but i think @park-jimin-isnt-real would also be losing your mind with me.

6. murdered while saving you: @here4kpopfics and @echotoyou would lose your lives in battle because you are both as feisty as you are babie.

7. has your back no matter what: @sailoryooons not only has everyone’s back but you have an entire survival kit packed for any situation, including this one.

8. survives by faking dead: @random-and-out-of-context and @gimmethatagustd you know the episode of run where yoongi and seokjin crawl around, pretending to be zombies. that’s you two. i might join you, tbh.

9. has a solid survival plan no one listens to: @blog-name-idk because you spent too much time making crude jokes and now nobody takes your actually brilliant advice seriously.

10. is really the killer: listen, i can’t very well tag myself as the killer, and it would be weird to tag hali as the person who saves everyone and kills everyone, so the crown must be passed down to @sweetestofchaos because you also have that evil, chaotic energy, and i would definitely fall victim to your charms and beauty and tbh probably just lay down and die for you.

feel free to play along or steal 👻

#tag game #this is so chaotic

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moonlitempty · 7 months

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Hot Fuzz (2007), Dir. Edgar Wright, Starring Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost.

Big cops. Small town. Moderate Violence.

And here is the next entry in the Cornetto Trilogy Journal Entries series (C. T. J. E.’s for short), and this time (a little predictably), it’s the phenomenal and timeless Hot Fuzz!

For this entry, you can see I went all in with the b&w with one specific colour highlight visual motif, but for this one, instead of using weird halo-ish shadows like I did for Shaun, here I used a bunch of little lines, not only to imitate cross-stitching (which I think is lovely) but to also, admittedly a bit shittily, imitate the look of action comics, the ones where cops always fight the bad guys. I didn’t quite succeed but it isn’t hideous.

I’m honestly very happy with how this one turned out! Not quite the same charisma as Shaun, but still on theme and it’s cute.

Shaun was the birth of my fascination for everything Cornetto related, and Hot Fuzz was the consolidation.

While I was already excited to watch Shaun and had heard a fair deal about it, before finding out about the Cornetto Trilogy, I had NO idea hot fuzz existed, so when I did watch it, it had no reputation to precede it, I watched it entirely blind.

So, it actually surprised me how immediately I was captivated by it, the opening sequence where the narrator describes the sleuth of qualifications and achievements by Nic’s hand had me glued to the screen! And the scene where Nic is transferred to the countryside, man. I must have rewinded that scene so many times that I lost count!

I loved Hot Fuzz to death and I hadn’t even gotten to half of the halfway point.

Simon as Nic was nothing short of amazing, despite him being incredibly uptight and strictly law-abiding, I never once found him tiresome or arrogant, hell, the scene where Nic age checks all the minor patrons in the bar was one of my favourite in the entire film. And that scene where Nic is riding the train out of London and we constantly cut to “WELCOME” signs for various towns and Nic’s phone signal decreasing with each cut, that IS true filmmaking.

And then of course, Nic’s shenanigans once he arrives in town are incredibly entertaining, there’s a certain charm to him taking everything way too seriously while being offered cake, and being screamed at about how long the precinct will have ice cream for. And there’s even more magic when you realise that amidst all that quirk and tomfoolery, Nic and Danny are already starting to build something together.

I was absolutely enchanted by Danny asking Nic all those funny little questions about what it felt like to be stabbed, or if there really was a spot in the head where if you got shot your head would blow up, like a child would with his parents, and that immediately set me on the Butterangel train ngl.

(and then, oh my god, the quirky little side quests Nic got sent to with Danny, like the old man with the bomb in his shed, that Nic couldn’t understand due to his heavy country accent, or the bit with the goose, which obviously is immortal to this day).

Hot Fuzz obviously has a plot of its own, and that plot is absolutely amazing and the twists keep you on the edge of your seat, but it also is mainly about the relationship between Nic and Danny. And I found every single step of it charming and heartwarming! I remember actually squealing with excitement at every little step forward they each took towards opening up to each other, like Nic staying up all night with Danny to watch his favourite movies, or Nic winning Danny that plushie at the town fair, or the fucking FLOWER SHOP SCENEEEEE, I have truly never felt so touched by an *action* film before, even just remembering all those little details makes me smile :)

Hot Fuzz may be about a big town cop getting sent and adjusted to live in a small countryside town where nothing *appears* to happen, but it’s also about finding the little silver linings in those moments of life where you feel betrayed or let down, and maybe you’ll find more than a silver lining, you’ll find a little nugget of gold, like Nic found Danny, and like I found this movie.

Hot Fuzz!

10/10. Obviously

#the cornetto trilogy #simon pegg #nick frost #edgar wright #hot fuzz #nic angel #danny butterman #movie #journal #movie journal #journal entry #movie thoughts #this is a soliloquy at this point

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literalite · 1 year

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asks

these r all the asks i got last night about the whole aesthetic discussion i'll answer in order of when i got them :p

truth b told if i started simblr like. today and knew nothing about photoshop then i'd probably be pretty demoralised too but also thats exactly how it was starting simblr anyway i just worked on it until i was happy w my skills... no one gave me a cheat code i just put time and effort into it

i agree with u im ngl like i do sincerely wish everyone had the opportunity to put hours and hours of their lives into learning how everything about this works if thats what they truly wanted. also if anything doing it solely by urself will make the process all the more time consuming but if u ask around for help people (including me! im down to help fr) will usually give it to u and that'll speed up the process more. being mad at me for having that is pointless what am i gna do go back in time and unlearn it all and for what? dsfghjk

okay i did see this being said a lot and uhhhh i was trying to understand it but like. i also don't. like ok with cluttered aesthetic build shots or yknow the odd landscape with heavy bloom shader on it i guess if ur looking at it completely from that pov yeah i guess it looks like some posts that "blow up" r just sort of the same shit. but the fact remains that its also it's good shit like anyone can clutter a room and take a photo of it what really counts here in my opinion anyhow is shot composition. and there's literally preestablished rules for this sort of thing u can google cinematography basics and get it for free... there's a whole field of study looking into what draws the human eye. like maybe the core concepts behind what makes a popular post popular is the same but thats because it just works. if u wanna shy away from that entirely but then complain about ur posts not being as popular then that's very much a u problem it doesn't have anything to do with the rest of us

amen these are my ocs wdym these are "sims" LOLLL these are the real people living in my head if i bust my ass making them look good then thats a choice i made

u can call this an empathy problem and try explain it to me more but i dont see how other people feeling insecure about what their current ability scales up to is any fault of mine or my problem to bend backwards to try fix... or even how i could. like is the standard high now yeah honestly it is. the learning curve was steep as hell when i first started as well. no disagreements here. but what am i supposed to do about it LMAO like i didn't create the human proclivity to be drawn to beauty i just ride off of it.

idk why i'm the bad guy for being honest for my reasoning behind what i do and don't reblog? lots of other people have been saying they dont really care about aesthetics which is great but if i said that i'd literally just be lying to you. i'm not gonna apologise for not lying... i like being able to see the passion and energy poured into the same video game we're all playing it's only natural to appreciate that- if that reads as passive aggression and u don't understand my stance that's fine by me

i would say for me personally try watch visual media that u can recognise as "beautiful" and not to shit on like. cw shows but i mean stuff that is marked by its cinematography being truly excellent. and just really examine how those set and lighting designers use angles and lighting and how the people filming and editing choose to frame their shots to achieve what works. hell looking at art helps with this too. look at other people's stuff on simblr analytically try to seriously work out why it appeals to people the way it does. ik u asked for editing tips but i think it really starts ingame you can have the most incredible editing style but it doesn't work if ur shot comp doesn't work then it'll won't hit as hard

take time to learn what most of the adjustment layers do on photoshop, and what all the blending layers look like, download other people's psds and play with them on top of ur shots to see what works! what u personally think looks good will be different from what i personally think looks good, i like dramatic lighting and muted colours and mid level contrast so not too strong but i can't speak for whether you will too. ALSO im a religious user of @/simmerstesia's psd set here i think a well chosen shot can be really elevated by using something like this to really give it that final polish

additionally if u have any like really specific questions or need some advice u can ask me on discord my dms are open like i can talk u thru it. promise it's not as daunting as it can look

#ask #reply #anonymous

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lepertamar · 7 months

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Stars That Rise At Dawn 2023 Revised vs 2018 edition differences: Part 2

Part 1 is at this link, and part 3 at this one. this covers chapter 15 to chapter 24. I was hoping that I could keep this to 2 parts but it's gotten long and I've delayed it enough at this point lmao.

As before, long sequence of passages with changes under the cut. I’ve put some commentary of my own personal opinion on a few of the changes, but the author mostly only explains her decisions with an enigmatic ‘improving continuity with the rest of the series’ so the effects are pretty subjective.

I tried to put changes/additions of the 2023 revision in bold, and when I quoted the 2018 edition, put it in strikethrough red.

Chapter 15:

Immediately the first change to this chapter (Tamar's reintroduction) is the epigraph. The original one, the sa-shira poem, was moved back to chapter 14, and the new one for chapter 15 is

“In the world of tomorrow one man defeats God—but what if that's exactly what God wants? Sparks fly! Featuring cutting-edge pyrotechnics to depict God, and 6 full minutes of spoken audio! —poster for the upcoming film The Mad Wrestler”

This made me shriek out loud with laughter especially as I had just had a bit of a triggered breakdown (complimentary) while reading the last chapter . It's fantastic in multiple ways and very suited to this moment in the story LMAO, the puncturing sort of effect, but also definitely foreshadows certain things in the next two books. Also, wrestler. We who wrestle with G-d....

A few pages later:

Pre-revision:

God pulses in her eyes as she brushes her hands over the long-dead artist’s handiwork on the way to the door handle, wheeling fire in fractaling patterns.

Post-revision:

God makes a kind of exclamation point in her eyes as she brushes her hands over the long-dead artist’s handiwork on the way to the door handle, wheeling fire in fractaling patterns.

A friend of mine was INCREDIBLY taken with this and a few other similar alterations in this chapter that subtly but effectively enhance G-d as A Person who is Reacting and being an Active Participant with Tamar, being 'right there'.

Followed by

Pre-revision:

Wheels within wheels turn, unfurling like feathers made of dense starlight. So that’s probably a yes. Maybe. They’re not exactly known for making sense, or communicating clearly... but They sure are an exciting companion in her body. Smiling, she steps into her building.

Post-revision:

Wheels within wheels turn, unfurling like feathers made of dense starlight. So that’s probably a yes. Maybe. Smiling, she opens the door.

(quoting friend) "I love how the last bit, that They do not make sense necessarily and that they're exciting to have around, is unsaid, because of course God doesn't communicate 'normally' and of course Tamar is elated to have Them with her". It's very Tamar-characteristic to refuse to explain or to flatten an experience into a specific and narrow justification.

There's also a couple lines cut to reduce repetition, but also:

Pre-revision

“Welcome back, Tamar of God’s light!”

Post-revision:

“Welcome back, Tamar the Flame-thief!”

Both a much much more evocative and characteristic of Tamar, and a much cooler an epithet for a holy (the flame-thieves is listed among the synonyms for holies in various languages in an epigraph in Lives), with its Promethean, Jacob-like connotation, and given both of these are followed by Tamar thinking "Such a formal greeting", a much more defamiliarized bit of social worldbuilding -- a term that sounds provocative and even pejorative to the reader is very normalized in-universe.

Then there's an addition of:

“Oh, my day was good, definitely good! And God’s?” Tamar laughs. Not many think to ask that. “Pretty good, as far as I can tell. They seem to still be curious about how some people think it’s weird or something when I faceplant on their batteries,” Tamar says with a shrug. “I got a lot of shock today.”

This ngl instantly made me like Havilah 5x more. Not many people think to ask a holy how G-d's day was!! And another bit of both G-d being actively involved with Tamar throughout the day, and Tamar trying (and struggling) to understand Them.

Once Tamar encounters Lucifer in front of her apartment, there's this significant change, which makes a big impact given it's the closest we get until late in Lives to Lucifer's actual feelings, and not just what they deliberately present to others:

Pre-revision:

Anyway. She looks down toward the voice, where it turns out there’s also an incredible amount of irritation. But nothing that seems much like lies. And, when she looks a little longer, she catches the scent of thousands of years of history. And inside herself she feels a few spinning flames of God, going off every direction, squinting and shrugging in a pattern she’s not sure she’s seen before.

Post-revision:

Anyway. She looks down toward the voice, where it turns out there’s a vibrant pulse of… terror. And something along the lines of disgust, revulsion even, but not quite the same as what even the most conflicted of her customers sometimes feel. Finely aged, perhaps. Yeah, the longer she looks, the more she catches the scent of thousands of years of history. And inside herself God squints and stutters in surprise, flames spinning in a pattern she’s not sure she’s seen from Them before.

This revision is instantly so juicy, in such a small number of words, in terms of characterization of Tamar, Lucifer, and G-d. Lucifer is terrified and repulsed. some of Tamar's customers feel similar, but not quite like that. the feeling has been marinating for a long time. Tamar is not bothered by this, she feels very casual but kind of drinks it in with some level of relish, like a fine wine or cheese. And G-d is Super Surprised, stutters in shock, implying it may have been a long time, perhaps centuries or more, since They've actually seen Lucifer.

Later in the apartment, there is an added line:

from the couch, where she’s been listening to the radio and watching the patterns tracing through God’s soul."

Hint at her hobbies and day-to-day life as a blind person, as well as the technological level of this setting, which gets emphasized a bit more later in Lives.

Safirah characterization and less clumsy/artificial-sounding narration:

“Precisely.” Tamar grins; there’s a reason this life of hers is more interesting than what she had going on in secondary school.

Got changed to

“Precisely. Not to mention making that Holy fear for their life.” Tamar snorts.

The word 'dating' is replaced by 'fucking' here (one of the few blunt mentions of sex in the series actually) for some added Safirah characterization:

“You’re eight years older than me, not ten,” Tamar notes. “People think we’re fucking.” “Some folks will look at any two people and think they’re fucking.”

According to her social media the author is asexual, which may play a role in why so little sex is mentioned in these books, although intensely kinky scenes appear both in this series and in other books.

Chapter 16:

Pre-revision:

“...to be flaming queen of the first city, ever, on Šehhinah, and then say to yourself, ‘Flame it, I’m clearly not doing enough for people, I’m going to become more powerful than any Holy before or since”

Post-revision:

“...to be flaming queen of the first city, ever, on Šehhinah, and then say to yourself, ‘Flame it, I’m clearly not doing enough for people, I’m going to grab more power from God than any Holy before or since”

and:

“Oh flames, that isn’t commonly known outside of demons?” Hannuša says. “Wow, huh. Yeah, um, Lilith… Lilith’s something, alright. When she spoke the truest of God’s names and was completely immolated, she, through like a sheer act of will, and I have no idea if anyone else who’s ever lived has even half the will she does, she somehow forced her soul to accept, of all things, water vapor as her body.”

Post-revision:

“Oh flames, you don’t know?” Hannuša says. “Wow, huh. Yeah, um, Lilith… Lilith’s something, alright. When she spoke the truest of God’s names and was completely immolated—without Them having expected it, or having intended to immolate her, there’s a reason she impressed Them so much that she’s half of the Covenant—she, through like a sheer act of will, and I have no idea if anyone else who’s ever lived has even half the will she does, she somehow forced her soul to accept, of all things, water vapor as her body.”

This both refers back to the previous chapter's epigraph, impressing further that '6,000 years ago G-d was surprised and 'beaten' and admitted that They didn't know everything and had made flaws in how the world worked, and made this into the basis for changing the entire metaphysics of the afterlife, and the role of all living beings is to argue for how to fix the world' is foundational, ancient, uncontroversial theology.

And it's just sooooooo 'she impressed Them so much'……! Like wrestled with G-d, and prevailed, like Jacob ;-;

“And I think she’s got some friends among the angels that have some manifestations that involve her or something, so she can talk to them, too.”

Changed to

“And she is Holy, so she can talk to any of the angels—or other Holies too, I guess?—any time she wants through God. So that’s how she gets a lot of stuff done, she has angel friends who have eyes and stuff… to, you know, find us. The ones she wants to help..”

This comes up more in Lives again.

Chapter 17: No revisions I noticed, except that the epigraph for the previous chapter 18 was moved to chapter 17.

Chapter 18:

The epigraph (boring one about the neighborhood of Olive Heights) is replaced by a haiku:

“desert-burned | the river its sand | bright as salt —Ono the Mute, 4977 A.C.”

Breathtaking, given the positioning of the chapter break: between Eliya seeing Tamar again saying "Hello Tamar" and “Elīya looks at Tamar, still trying not to look into her eyes, still failing utterly.”........

Yenatru's pov line "Except for the eyes, she's exactly the same" is replaced by “She doesn’t look that different.” More open.

The chapter goes the same for a while, but later in the chapter, during the motorcycle ride, Eliya's pov:

“Flame you,” Elīya can’t help but mutter. Tamar just laughs. “If you’re referring to my eyes…” She trails off, as if expecting Elīya to guess at what she means. Which Elīya does, deciding in a split second that what Tamar means is probably a condemnation of her. A failure of ethics. How dare she say flame you to a Holy, perhaps.”

replaced by:

Emphasizing something that's clear from the general syntax and structure of the in-universe terminology: "flame you" is the equivalent of "fuck you" or even more pointedly, "damn you", and is also, at the same time, a pejorative reference to being burned. Like the misogyny baked into the etymological origins of the irl curse "fuck you", where "being fucked" is derogatory and inherently unwanted. but NOT in the sense where this is concsciously thought of as like, a bigoted slur or anything. Holies use it all the time too!!! and jibril, in the next book, uses it too! But also not even a completely depleted of meaning flat sort of thing -- Tamar in the prologue "understands why people swear by fire" upon seeing G-d.

This is of course a central theme of this book -- anything real and powerful and mattering enough that someone would burn out one's eyes to see its beauty is also real and powerful and mattering enough to be capable of causing incredible hurt and damage by its presence, and is therefore not 'safe'. and this is not a bug or flaw or horrible underlying secret, but an inherent truth of how the existence of the stuff of the universe and consciousness works.

Pre-revision:

“So tell me, Elīya. What’s so ethical, so moral, about living your life like this, following this one path just because you think you should?” “That path is ethics,” Elīya says through gritted teeth. “And you’re the one who admitted you weren’t learning anything. So again I ask, what is ethical about this situation.” “Perhaps it is teaching me focus.” Maybe. “Perhaps,” Tamar echoes. “But I believe you’re more than this. More than this one thing, more than the constant chorus of ethics, ethics, ethics through your mind.”

Post-revision:

“So tell me, Elīya. What’s so ethical, so moral, about living your life like this, following this one path just because you think you should?” “That path is ethics,” Elīya says through gritted teeth. “And you’re the one who admitted you weren’t learning anything. So again I ask, what is ethical about your life.” “Perhaps it is teaching me focus.” Maybe. “On what.” “On anything I need to focus on. On everything.” “And is this everything anything other than ethical or unethical?” “Flame you.” “Already did that,” Tamar says. “But I believe you’re more than this. More than this one thing, more than this checking off ethics, ethics, ethics on every fucking thing that gets through your head.”

I don't really have a comment on this but I like it.

Chapter 19:

The epigraph is slightly altered:

Though the Holy are venerated now, they have not always been so lucky. In the first millennium A.C., King Lot of Nefil decreed that the Holy in his city cover their prices when in public, so as not to stain any unwilling eyes with the symbol of such an intimate—or, as Lot wrote in a rare surviving letter, “degenerate”—act. Some stone-etchings on official buildings in protest of this law can still be found by divers researching the ruins of the city, now many meters underwater after the unfortunate sea-level rise… —Dr. Melia Yashim, The Past is the Strangest Place of All”

simply removing the bit at the beginning! i debated the intent behind this a bit, wondering if it was just for brevity, or because veneration is not actually indicated anywhere in the series, or something deeper, but ultimately concluded that the effect, at least, is to make this period sound less singular, and more like one excerpted bullet-point among a list of unknown length and number of other similar incidents.

After this, a longer altered sequence here, originally:

“Once we store the motorcycles,” Yenatru says.“Where’s Lucifer?” Tamar asks.“Uh, looks like they’re just standing a bit back there, leaning on their own arms,” Elīya says.Lucifer’s probably planning to watch the show over here if it gets confrontational or awkward again, Yenatru thinks. “Everything alright so far?”Elīya’s eye twitches; that’s not a great sign. “It’s… something.”A strange expression comes over Tamar’s face, along with a somewhat pointed shrug.He should do something, he thinks. But what? And how? The moments pass and Elīya’s eye still twitches.So Yenatru just says, quietly, “We should probably go over to her. Lucifer. So we can put the bikes in the shed and continue.”“They, her, what is up with him,” Tamar mumbles.“Nothing I have any reason or responsibility to tell you,” Lucifer responds, strolling right up, single braid swaying behind her. Or him, to Tamar. Her voice is smooth in this form; a good aesthetic choice, Yenatru thinks.

Now:

“Once we store the motorcycles,” Yenatru says. “Where’s Lucifer?” Tamar asks. “Everything alright so far?” Lucifer says almost in answer, merging into the form for Elīya. Tamar starts at the new voice. “Who’s that?” Lucifer doesn’t respond. “How’s it going?” she—or they, to Elīya—asks. Elīya’s eye twitches; that’s not a great sign. “It’s… something.” A strange expression comes over Tamar’s face, along with a somewhat pointed shrug. He should do something, he thinks. But what? And how? The moments pass and Elīya’s eye still twitches. So Yenatru just says, quietly, “We should put the bikes in the shed and continue, she’s waiting. Lucifer, I mean.” “She—what?” Tamar swings her head in one direction and then another. “Nothing I have any reason or responsibility to tell you,” Lucifer responds, strolling right past her, single braid swaying behind her. Or him, to Tamar. Her voice is smooth in this form; a good aesthetic choice, Yenatru thinks. Tamar draws her cane out of her bag and sighs. “Yenatru, is there another person here or—” “It’s Lucifer, she—they, him—can uh, shapeshift?” Yenatru whispers quickly. “Oh,” says Tamar. “No one told me.”

:))))))))

Chapter 20-21: no changes I noticed

Chapter 22:

An added paragraph here:

Perhaps because it was easier not to. So deceptively simple a reason. It was easier for her not to. It was perfectly easy for her to continue living without caring about those things, so she didn’t. She had no pressing need, no tangible pain, no burning desire. Or didn’t she? Didn’t she need and want more, these last two years?

Chapter 23:

Pre-revision:

“You know," Tamar says, "God is a part of me wherever I go, and I can’t exactly make that stop being a thing You should get it, considering—"

Post-revision:

“You know,” Tamar says, “This is what I am, wherever I go, and I’m not about to hide it just for you. You should get it, considering—”

Just a bit more mean and callous (and truthful) hahahahahasaadad

Post-revision, some slight additions:

“Oh, you know.” She shrugs. “Hanging out, exploring the city and getting lost ‘cause I’m blind, bickering with the other Holies, laughing when people think weird things about me, charging their batteries by shoving them into my eyes—” “Into what now.” “Into God.” “…Got it,” Yenatru says, even though that’s not one of the things he’s heard of a Holy doing. “I didn’t know….Holies disagreed about God.” She raises an eyebrow. “You don’t know much, do you?” She doesn’t sound angry, but her voice is serious. His face heats. He can’t say he does. Not about this. “So, yeah. Life’s more, now.”

More stuff about Tamar's life and societal utter ignorance (avoidance) of Holies

Finally, one of the biggest changes so far: the chapter stops at

“Yenatru finds himself smiling a little, feeling ready to do just that. Even if not quite everything makes sense. Even if the way he cares isn’t quite what he expected at all.”

The entire scene from the previous version that follows it is completely removed from this version: gone is the bit of Tamar accidentally feeling Yenatru's manifestation, her saying it's too soothing for her tastes, and Yenatru's uncharacteristically utterly fucking TERRIBLE and steamrollering line that undoes all his beautiful, character-deepening pondering and observation of the puzzle of her (Almost falling off mountains. God in her eyes. Maybe her like of those two things is actually one and the same—and maybe that means Yenatru understands some of why she made the choice she did.) This is of course a really good deletion, but also Tamar not getting to feel Yenatru's manifestation probably has something to do with stuff that happens later in Lives -- she'd probably recognize something is up with it.

Chapter 24:

This chapter has at the end, what I think is the single most important change, in terms of continuity and characterization (for Eliya), but even moreso in terms of narrative sincerity and honesty.

First there's a couple of minor-ish added lines (in bold as usual) that mostly serve to ramp up to the major change:

“Or maybe she’s at least an entire scene, an entire image, an entire place, not just the wind but also the open desert, and completely open sky, that too, she hasn’t factored in her tendency to look at the sky and horizon yet. And even then, is that incorporating every detail? She’s not sure, but she still seems to be onto something. When Tamar tore into her on the motorcycle, the wind that wasn’t wind in her face, the motorcycle flying free over the desert, I believe you’re more than this, it hurt so much more than anything she’d ever heard before, sank so deep into her. Was it because what was her was so close, within her grasp? Or because—no one else had told her, the way Tamar did? Nothing’s stopping you… Where did Tamar go, when she….she didn’t even do Theurgy, but the way she said so softly that she wanted. Her soul a whole scene too. Elīya’s close to certain: she probably can check her traits against that scene-that-is-her, can’t she, to identify them as her? She’s identifiable to herself because she’s the desert wind.”

Then the major, major, entire-book-saving change:

Pre-revision:

But Elīya wants clarity, and there’s something she has to know. “Why do you care?” Lucifer turns their head to her, gives her a particularly unreadable smile that lasts multiple seconds before they finally speak. They’re mostly in shadow, their eyes somehow lit by the stars. “’S really a simple answer. I care about everyone.” Elīya blinks. “But Yenatru—” “I care about him more, of course. But you’re someone, Elīya, everyone is, and you didn’t seem to have the slightest idea about whatever particular joy being you might bring. And there was a chance, right there, right in front of me, to help you find out. No way in fuck I wasn’t going to take that.” They pause, smiling. “Even if you do, generally speaking, really annoy me.” Elīya coughs. Well, she likes honesty, so she can’t say anything against that. And—there’s something she has to say, isn’t there. Lucifer’s all the way turned away from her when Elīya says, “Thank you.” Again they turn back, this time only briefly, but long enough for her to see them grin. And they head off, walk somewhere, a shadow against shadows in this night, sagebrush licking against their dress.

POST-REVISION:

But Elīya wants clarity, and there’s something she has to know. “Why do you care?” Lucifer turns their head to her, gives her a particularly unreadable smile that lasts multiple seconds before they finally speak. They’re mostly in shadow, their eyes somehow lit by the stars. “’S really a simple answer. I care about everyone.” Elīya blinks. “But Yenatru—” “I care about him more, of course. But you’re someone, Elīya, everyone is, and you didn’t seem to have the slightest idea about whatever particular joy being you might bring. And there was a chance, right there, right in front of me, to help you find out. No way in fuck I wasn’t going to take that.” They pause, smiling. “Even if you do, generally speaking, really annoy me.” Elīya narrows her eyes. The person she was when Lucifer was teaching her seems so long ago. In such a short time she’s so much more. Such a short time— Lucifer’s all the way turned away from her when Elīya says, “Thank you.” Again they turn back, the kind smile spreading over their face, and Elīya takes a breath. Ethically, because she values honesty, there’s something else: “But actually, meeting Tamar helped more, so I was right about my end of the deal after all.” And Lucifer’s serene starlit face twists. “Really.” “Really.” She crosses her arms, expecting a challenge. Expecting a fight, anticipating it and how it might help her understand just how she’s come so far so fast. But Lucifer just curls their lip and leaves. Bitterness washes over Elīya. So, that’s it then.

JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think many different people could bring more richness of interpretation to this, but here's my own personal subjective pov:

IMO, this one change basically fixes EVERYTHING about the ENTIRE book that drove me so fucking insane i spent over a year fuming and venting and casting bitter contemptuous aspersions on the author and came close to completely ruining the entire book for me and making me drop the series.

Two different friends of mine who read the revision found this revised change to be The moment they finally actually started liking and respecting eliya!!!! While I didn't have quite this reaction -- I always liked Eliya lmao -- I know exactly what they mean, because Eliya was done so dirty in the previous version. In this revision, the lack of the twisting narrative dishonesty that plagued the previous version finally admits: eliya was just…….right. she was not Foolish And Misguided and Deluded to make a deal to get tamar back as the previous version of this scene implies, where this and subsequent chapters of the prevision version hammered home a message that eliya was Foolish and Mistaken to care about meeting tamar again, the parallel ‘you care’ was a clear ‘lucifer is teaching her and wisely and kindly giving her something that’s Correct and Meaningful, unlike tamar who has nothing to help her with, and unlike the delusions eliya stupidly thought were important’

And the fact like. That lucifer's whole spiel, while not altered at all, is reframed to allow it to absolutely stink of the hypocrisy it always held: lucifer absolutely does not think everyone has particular joys of being them, or that everyone is someone — they do not think tamar is someone as-she-is-now, or that tamar has a particular joy of being her. And eliya narrows her eyes — notices that as bullshit in the context of lucifer saying it instantly, rather than passively accepting lucifer’s Wisdom and Compassion in Saving Her like the previous version. And she retorts with her own agency, (though she either doesn't notice or doesn't care about lucifer's maligning of tamar, which is also cool)

And it fits, continuity-wise: in both versions of the book, Lucifer and Eliya never exchange another word for the remainder of the book, but in this version it MEANS something. the absolute tragedy of this relationship with eliya, possibly the only actually constructive and challenging relationship lucifer has ever had in their life, the way the only times lucifer was ever actually cool and hot and epic was when they were sparring and struggling with eliya -- all this slipping away the second eliya challenges just a step too far, by dropping the warping narrative dishonesty act and admitting that seeing the evidence of fucking Tamar's existence in the world made Eliya actually seize this, by indicating that Lucifer's teaching, while extremely necessary, was not sufficient to replace Eliya's own desires and plans, and that she didn't use and run with their help in quite the way they thought she 'should' have as a passive recipient. It's gut-wrenching, and this means it leads into and sets up Lives so, so, so well.

I was right about my end of the deal after all.....

I'll continue the last few chapters in a shorter Part 3

#the stars that rise at dawn #sehhinah #sehhinah revisions tag

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