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karoochui · 6 months

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What im hearing is:

Little crow feet outside my window bcs im feeding them- that’s besides the point!

Is there magic??? His shovel looks magic and they look magic

And do give me every detail you are thinking of for the series even if its in the distant future or not that relevant but you want to share

Crows!! Cute!! Also sorry i didnt get to this sooner my laptop BROKE (still broken but usable) and my mom and i have been looking for someone to fix it. Ive been drawing with it sparingly to be careful.

YES there is magic. Of course im still working on this storywise but im getting characters designs n whatnot done right now. Dynamics n stuff. BUT i do have some refs i made before my laptop broke.

I like to draw out certain stuff so that it helps with descriptions in the future; i have the worst memory so it helps to be able to do so. (More beneath cut)

Im so excited for moon's shadow form. Oh my god. Its probably my favorite thing right now.

Fun thing about it is that in this form he can touch you but you cant touch him. Something something you can be cast in shadow but you cant take it off yk? He's still light sensitive like this though, so if the area hes in isn't dark enough or he's hit with anything too bright he just reverts back. At that point he'd just have to rely on normal hand to hand stuff and his sand lol. The shadow form is just better for sneaking and speed. Really, he's some amalgamative idea of the sandman and boogieman. I thought it fit well with his whole "naptime attendant gone wrong" thing.

Sun's design, however, is more like if you mixed a cowboy, wizard, and gravedigger together. I made it a while ago on a whim with no intention behind it but then i ended up thinking "ykw would be so awesome".

The hat dips to cover the crescent side of his face (not intentional on his part) to symbolize his resentment towards moon and how he basically damned him to an hourglass. His eyes are easier to see bc of this which could seem more trusting (eyes are the window to the soul or whatever), but the thing is thats not normal for him (as we know) so it's meant to make him look suspicious and looming to 4th wall viewers. There's also the fact that i just thought it was cool too.

He also doesn't get a second form. Moon's sneaky and weird so i thought it would fit to give him some freaky thing iykwim. Sun, however, is a pretty "in your face" kinda guy, so his look and fight style is more extravagant and boisterous. Lots of swinging amd yelling and boom bang zap! Despite the showiness he's actually a longer range fighter. Mainly because unlike moon, thousands of years ago, he wasn't often one to get violent with his hands. His weapon is just obnoxiously large too though.

They are still one animatronic and their transformation is still triggered by light. Instead of an AI chip though (which is still in there but long dead), they live through the work of a soul. They're still physically inorganic but as far as spiritually they're as close as they're gonna get to being human. Their life and functionailty is derived from the magic itself, not the machinery. Like if for some reason they lost all their magic they'd just drop dead from a battery life long since drained.

The hourglass has a carousel-like design to it purely as reference to moon's level in Help Wanted 2.

Sorry for rambling so much but this is what i've got for you so far! I have a general idea for the plot but im tryna to make it more than what it is rn, so i dont wanna share too much of that just yet in case i change or completely toss away an idea.

#fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sun #fnaf security breach #sundrop #fnaf moon #moondrop #binary resurgence: round 2 au #binary resurgence #my asks #mikas stuff #dca x reader #dca x y/n #sun x reader #moon x reader

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hueberryshortcake · 1 month

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trigger warning incoherent rambling about scrooge mcduck control issues that i put under a cut bc it got long and unwieldy

this is mostly speculation but i do wonder if part of the way scrooge processes the spear of selene is thinking that he couldn't keep della safe because he wasn't there. if he'd been there with her instead of just over the phone, maybe he could have guided her or pointed out the storm or kept her focused or something.

obviously that's not really realistic, but it sort of changes his perspective from "this was my fault because i built her the spear" to "this was my fault a little because i let her go alone" (not that he necessarily could have known) and, simultaneously, "this ultimately isn't my fault because she went solo and i wasn't involved in the crash".

im saying this because the implication, particularly with season one, becomes, "therefore, if i keep everyone close to me, i can protect them, because i have never failed someone while ive been there for them" because his security lies in his self-confidence. if he keeps the kids close to him on mount neverrest, everyone will be fine because he's going to make it to the top through force of sheer willpower and keep everyone safe. if he guards everyone in the pyramid or whatever then he is in control of the situation and doesn't feel guilty or concerned about taking the kids into danger.

this sets us up for fun situations where he loses the kids! like in the living mummies where louie and webby get separated so he's pacing around itching to get going and find them because they're lost and he doesn't know what's happening to them hello SoS parallels. or situations like the last crash where he is like "we have a problem so obviously the solution is that I Personally Climb Out And Fix The Engine so that i am in control".

and like of course he's not a total helicopter parent or whatever and (mainly for simplicity of plot reasons) people are able to sneak away like in the spear of selene and go explore stuff on their own without him worrying about where they are but the overarching sentiment stands

in conclusion i just think it's fun if he mentally has all the littles on backpack leashes and his composure starts to crack when he they aren't within arm's reach of him or a trusted adult and also my brain stopped working like three hours ago i just love s1

#dt17 #scrooge mcduck #hueberry shortcake

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threewholeants · 3 months

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i wanted to ask abt your sexuality , in a super polite awesome non creepy way , its says your a lesbian on your profile so im asking . i think im a lesbian too,i like girls and i dont think i could have any feelings or attraction to men irl but i LOVE my male fictional chracters, ive liked them since before i realised ive liked girls so idk if its just attacthments . but how is it that you process all this , im confused , idk what i am now?? ofc you dont hve to ans this im just curious . once again this is very icky questions so im saying it agin im not asking this in a 😈👿👹 way , okay cool awesome bye

ok hi anon!! plspls don’t think this is an icky, creepy, or invasive question bc i’ve been trying to find an answer for it myself recently!!

i’ve always Known i’ve had an attraction to girls, and i exclusively date women nd have since i was 17, but never really had any crushes on girls in media (and tbh, still don’t really(that cunty sabre tooth tiger from ice age was an exception)) which i’ve always found a bit odd!

i don’t want to use a word as Strong repulsed .. but it’s the best way to get my point across i guess! i’ve always been repulsed by men irl, but still find myself fantasying n writing abt fictional men. i think for me personally it’s the degree of separation that attracts me.. like . Knowing they’re Not Real let’s me apply exactly what i’d Want in a man (if i wanted one u feel?) onto them nd they then become the perfect vessel for my fantasy !! like if gojo was real i would Not be interested at ALL but that 2d man on my screen?? gimme him i wanna bite him sooooo bad.

i used to hold a lot of inner turmoil abt all of this nd used to think that i wasn’t a very good lesbian bc i only ever had crushes on male characters.. but u know what? i can Fantasise abt whatever i want.. i know in my heart that im coming home from work everyday to kiss my partner on her lips and that i Am good at being lesbians with them !!

i feel like i’ve just rambled and spouted absolute nonsense so im very sorry anon if i.. lost the plot and didn’t actually answer ur question very well…… but i wish u well in ur journey of self discovery!! nd please please know that ur valid every step of the way EVEN IF that step is forwards, backwards, or even sideways :3

i love u! and i hope u are well!

#threewholeants 🏷️#merc replies 🏹#this was just many words of me waffling #do i tag this as lesbian discourse???#lgbt #lesbians gimme ur thoughts if u see this #maybe i’m just insane

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scorchrend · 2 years

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Hello there please infodump about your blorbos to me, I am willing to know about your blorbos as they sound very fun(I wanna rotate them like the stuff you put in a microwave)

Hi!!!!!!! I'm running to you at full speed. Ok. Ok. Let me introduce. My Blorbo #1.

Euden Dragalia Lost!!

I don't know where to start because I do like being asked specific questions. But. I am skilled. At rambling with no aim. Here we go

euden is my friend he likes cute dragons and he plays the piano and hes been practicing string instruments over the course of the game. his base form tells us he "sounds like hes strangling a cat" but now in his latest alt he says hes gotten really good and wants to put on a concert at some point. he enjoys parties what with the events every two months. hes a normal guy. hes very accepting and when there is a problem, rather than moving to change the person he tries to be accepting of them. he has the fucking weight of the world on his shoulders but hes still so kind. someone get this man a sense of self-preservation. he has a sort of deadpan sassy humor. hes a fucking idiot. hes smart. hes everything. hes nothing. i cant list it all here he is just so important to me.

below readmore is kind of like a dragalia plot synopsis i just kept on typing 💀💀💀 writing this after i finished that i think ive been writing for 2 hours

(written after the readmore: yeah im all talked out for this post but if you have questions i will answer. i want to answer, especially specific questions. it doesnt have to be about euden you can ask me about my other blorbos! )

Euden is the 7th child of Aurelius, the king of Sol Alberia. He is 17 at the beginning of story (about 20 by now since the game's new year events are canonical), and he has a twin sister named Zethia. He is just a regular kind guy. Yknow standard protagonist stuff. This is likely due to him being the self-insert character, what with his name being the player's username. But more on that later.

The Alberian Royalty have dragonblood, meaning they can form pacts with dragons in order to shapeshift into them. You can't succeed the throne if you can't get a pact and shapeshift.

Now Euden over here, he has no interest in the throne. He just wants to enjoy life with his twin sibling and their faerie friend Notte, who they met at childhood. In fact, he's been actively avoiding the Dragon Choosing, so that he wouldn't be in line for the throne and create conflict between him and his siblings.

But unfortunately some shit goes down and the sacred shard (they keep fiends away) in Sol Alberia is weakening, so Euden is tasked to go and get the one from the Mistholt (an old castle in rovetelle forest that was used as the base of the founder king Alberius). You need a dragon to do this. So he goes out, along with Zethia, Notte, and a few friends he picks up on the way, and forms a pact with Midgardsormr, the windwyrm.

This is just turning into a fucking plot synopsis oh my god.

ok whatever. as they exit the mistholt suddenly his dad appears in front of them and hes like "wtf dad didnt u say you were going to the binding ruins" but then something is Very Wrong. Aurelius starts shooting black mana at them and theyre like oh fuck hes been possessed by The Other. The fiend sealed in the binding ruins. lol. uhhhh. long story short the gang loses and oddly the other wants zethia so she goes with him and is warped away and now euden has to go and get her.

i'm skipping over the parts where they chase after zethia and the other but like along this way euden finds out he can have multiple pacts just like the founder king alberius. ok. one of the dragons tried to make euden and his brother emile (6th in line) kill each other but thats a story for emile and not really for euden

Also they met a second zethia some time earlier im too lazy to insert this above but like shes been nudging the party on which way to go

anyways. they make it to the binding ruins and aurelius and zethia are there. theyre fighting!! so euden goes to shield zethia but then aurelius goes like "no!!! wtf are you doing!!!!!!" then theres a cg and BOOM zethia has red eyes shes been possessed by the other. he gets attacked but aurelius shields euden and he fucking dies. (his mana is transferred to his old dragon zodiark :) ) i forgot what was after this. uhhh the second zethia is a projection of mana from another universe and she disappears if she uses too much. but they have to escape so she warps them out then she disappears.

then zethia became the empress and renamed sol alberia into dyrenell because it was the name of the tyrannical empire in the past wow

now euden has no idea wtf to do. then he runs in with valyx (4th) then they fight then he makes his own kingdom from the mistholt— New Alberia.

in between this per chapter there are run ins with eudens other siblings, phares (2nd), leonidas (1st), and chelle (3rd). here comes chapter 10!!!

also its about 1st anniversary! euden is now 18.

anyways they get visions of alberius's fight with the other and apparently he sealed the soul of the other in the royal bloodline with a technique called the blood casket. also the others real name is morsayati. anyways thats why morsayati can body hop. i think they need to be willing but i dont remember

then stuff goes down here and all eudens siblings side with empress zethia so now the story shifts to having to fight all of the siblings.

oh boy. chapter 11 beyond. this is where the writing picks up. it felt like there was a clear change of direction (there WAS a change of direction, literally. the former director stepped down and was replaced by yuji okada from blazegames shoutouts to yuji okada my man) this was very good for euden

anyways in chapter 12 he has a fight with leonidas i know this was important but i fucking forgor

chapter 13. Oh boy. so theres this kid. they help him. he says his name is ed. ok cool. but then the kid starts spouting words. "what if your life was flipped all of a sudden" "what if you werent a royal what would you be"

then it turns out ed is actually the 5th child that none of the siblings ever met. his name is beren.

chapter 14 oh THIS IS MEATY ok theyre finally storming dyrenell. they reach the throne room and. since euden does want his sister first and foremost and is not really in the right headspace he agrees to let morsayati possess him. dude u have a whole kingdom to look after 😭😭😭 whatever. it would be very bad if morsayati possessed him because morsayati would gain access to all of his pactbound dragons. but in comes beren (he can suck black mana for his own power) and mid transfer he just fucking EATS UP morsayati. you had to be there it was hilarious. zethia still on the floor unconscious. they get intercapted by volk one of the agito and uhh idr how this goes but the agito get zethia and go towards north grastaea (alberia is in south) towards grams the holy city. euden and co chase after. (this leaves a power vacuum in dyrenell. the throne ends up with emile)

2nd zethia reappears because the morsayati worldhopping firewall is gone and she joins them. she gets a new name— Zena

CHAPTER 15 this one made me insane. chapter 14 made euden on my blorbo list but this one fucking killed me.

on the path zena gets in close calls but euden goes like "zethia ill protect u" but then zena deals with it just fine and hes like fucking hell euden thats not zethia. she doesnt need you to protect her.

ok so basically the leader of the agito appears. his name is Nedrick (💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 FUCKING NEDRICK 🤣🤣🤣🤣) and hes like ill take zethia. and theyre going to get the dawnshard for themselves (big power) and he claims that he is the REAL 7th scion. He shows them a document with the royal seal on it and it says euden, the 7th scion, died a month after birth, and after some thing with a some person named Finlorda, a new euden replaced the child.

then nedrick shows that the document lights up in the hands of a real royal. he hands it to zethia and valyx to show. nedrick holds it. and it glows. he hands it to euden

euden is like no way i can turn into dragons. multiple even. i have dragonblood! so he takes it. then it stops glowing. then we get. This

(this was in the files for a while but this was the first time it was used. oh my god euden im so sorry but there will be many more times where this will happen.)

then he gets really fucking mad and they fight and nedrick sweeps euden and they have to warp back to the halidom. the mistholts castle. but zethia doesnt go with them. she says she will stay (she has plans but they are not evident at this point) and eudens like Fuck. I failed her again. when they get back he snaps at his friends (this is the first time hes snapped) but apologizes and goes to his room. he stays there the entire day until zena comes in and smacks some therapy in his face and it works. for now. then he apologizes to his friends and asks them if theyd still follow him, even if he wasnt really royalty. they all go like yeaaah

the rest. i am.... not fucking writing that much but

ch 16 rumor gets out that euden is possessed by the other. he gets turned on by his citizens until leonidas shows up after their fight in ch12 and a character development and fixes everything and gives rations and shit and he handles the castle while euden goes to north alberia to find the truth about himself and meet finlorda who turns out to be the faerie king

ch 18 theres like. mirage and distortion snowy mountains. and euden has visions of his friends abandoning him and his citizens turning on him. he has to be snapped out of it by his sylvan (rabbit ear people) friend Luca and luca goes like "this is the first time ive seen you want anything for yourself. and i want to see you get the truth of yourself. so lean on me more" good shit

ch19 hes revealed to be made from the body of morsayati and dragonblood. then a perfect copy of the dead euden's (now nedrick) soul. this fucks him up good but he deals with it normally now. he goes out into the woods and like. processes it. also mascula and laxi reassure him at the end of the chapter (androids they met in ch11, they share laxi's body)

i have run out of energy but now euden has come to terms with the fact that he isnt the original euden and embraces it to some extent. uhh. and in the newest event where they face off against true bahamut the creator of the world he has this powered up form thats literally made from friendship. its the cheesiest shit ever but dragalia makes it so cool not joking i love it so much. im skimming over that because the event is still on

#text #dragalia lost #ask #euden #Very Very Long Read More. I am warning you.#save #important post bc i took wayy too fucking long on this #begging readers to look up euden dragalia lost

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gayspock · 3 years

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uhh star trek tng ramble here!!

there's some episodes of tng where i wish they would either do away with the b plot or at least have it be more cohesive (in terms of theme) with the main thread. like, just make it tighter, yknow? and its not always necessary of course- plenty of episodes where its fine and well, or the existence of an opposing plot works to its strength!

but yeah, there's just some episodes where if they just focussed wholly on the main plot it would be more effective.

and thats for some specific reasons sometimes. like, take the Inner Light: i think that episode works because there's very little cutting away. helps with the immersion. (tbh i dont think they should have even included the short cutaways or made them more abstract- but thats just my opinion. whatever not the point). you need to be lost with picard in this life he's found himself in, or else it doesnt work, yknow? and not only that, but... obviously this ep is A LOT and it rlly does need the time to fully develop itself. so its rlly good that they didnt have a b plot here.

meanwhile ive just watched Thine Own Self and i just... MAN, i wish they'd approached it like that!!! fuck, man. i do love the deanna plotline in this episode. i seriously do - and i dont wanna do away with it. i just think it should have been in another ep, bc i just feel like... i would have preferred that more immersive feel with data's story here.

and i really loved it, and in general would have wanted more screentime dedicated to it anyway. which i feel like is the more common reason why i kinda wish they'd be more thoughtful abt what b plots they put where. like- for example, there was a brief mention of data realising he did not have preference for things, but i really wish they'd have focussed a little more on data himself realising he wasnt quite human? obviously there's, like, the more obvious stuff everyone else can realise: his strength, his appearance, etc... but like i would have loved to see him really have to realise oh, shit, im not a person yknow himself in terms of his own thoughts and "lack of emotion" and stuff...

and i cant think of any more examples, but i know theres been a few times where i just feel like its been to the main plots detriment for them to keep cutting away. like it just feels like an excuse to cut tension and idk- it feels kind of lazily done, like that? and in the end its kinda just making me resent whatever we keep cutting to... like omg, like i said with Thine Own Self: i love deanna's story here, but i feel like i cant fully enjoy it when i keep wanting to go back to wtf is going on with data, yknow?

and like i also said before. if they have to have a b-plot, i wish it'd be sth more... themeatically relevant? i cant think of anything in particular, i just know that there's been some eps where i just wish theyd been more cohesive when they went back and forth (i wish i took note more).

ironically, an ep (or the two eps) where i wish they did juggle plots more was Birthright. like i wish theyd done data and worf's storylines concurrently rather than have part 1 for data and part 2 for worf, yknow what i mean? but maybe thats where we're getting more into preference- because i do think that's my own thing with the klingon storylines (which i wont get back into, omg) and why they dont always work for me, and me wanting that broken up more than anything and yeah yeah yeah.... and also idk if it would necessary NECESSARILY work with tng anyways. at least not in the tng style but that could work with sth more modern maybe. but now im being vague and silly

anyways end of weird ramble. i really did like thine own self though! ive actually rlly liked quite a few eps lately. idk i thought s7 was kind of a meh season by most ppl's opinion??? or at least i thought i heard that somewhere- and i asumed it would be, but ive been rlly liking it... oh well omg. maybe thats me asfoiapgjsdod

#egg.txt #star trek liveblog

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telaraneas · 3 years

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man i have so many words about homestuck but no one to talk to about it with. aimless ramble about classpects under the cut (disclaimer that other people have probably said the same things in much more concise ways, i literally finished homestuck like 3 days ago)

so, the way i actually understand aspects and classes in homestuck is that aspect = themes and class = arc. so, like, class and aspect as i think of them are not assigned as a role to play per se, like, they're not prophetic, they're descriptive. ive been reading a lot of old forum discussions from early act 6 because i crave whatever speculation and live analysis was going on at the time. and back then there was a lot of, for instance, "i wonder what the prince class is supposed to do, since eridan probably fucked it up" and im sitting here with the benefit of living almost a decade later and having read the entire story by that point, and im like, no, see, it's actually impossible to "fail" at your class in my opinion because they're descriptive, not predictive. so whatever a character did by the time homestuck actually ended (...with the caveat that i havent yet read the epilogues or the sequel), that was what they were supposed to do in the game/story, because like. that IS what they did.

like in the same way we have descriptive words for specific character archetypes in fiction, because i do think classpects are basically just That, like, for example, (to go. really really basic) princess peach in the original mario game may be a shitty female character but she's a perfect representation of the damsel in distress archetype. the "damsel in distress" denomination here is descriptive of the role she plays in the story of that game (to the extent it has one), whether or not it was consciously written that way, and it's assigned from the outside looking in at the finished game, not necessarily written from the outset to be that way. eg how inexperienced authors often end up writing what is commonly described as "mary sue" characters, even though most of them do not deliberately set out to write characters like that, obviously. the term "mary sue" here is descriptive, not prescriptive (and ofc the term itself has been dilluted to the point it's barely useful, this was just an example)

so like, an author may set out to write a character in a specific way, or to fill a specific role, and they may succeed or they may not; but a reader analyzing the story will interpret the story as they see fit, and will be the judge of how THEY would describe the characters. ofc interpretations may vary from reader to reader, but generally speaking when it comes to the role a character plays in the story, eg do they have agency, what function do they have towards advancing the plot, what are the dominant themes and ideas of the story and how does this character play into it etc etc will, at least to the individual reader, be informed by the work as a whole, not by the author's intent. the character's actions in the work as a whole as written by the author and interpreted by the reader speak for themselves.

i think i've gotten lost somewhere along the line here. this is all true and part of what i meant to say but i cant figure out how to connect it to my point. which is that i think the classes arent meant so much as rpg classes that dictate what you are capable of doing, so much as they're a descriptive label that sums up the role a character plays in the story. like the time loop stuff, it's not that a character MUST fulfill their role, it's that they already HAVE from the perspective of the finished story taken as a whole.

anyways all of this that ive said about classpects being descriptive and not prescriptive is ignoring the very obvious reality that homestuck itself was not written from the outside looking in, but in fact was often improvised from what i can tell, especially in regards to the arcs and themes of the more minor characters such as the trolls, but ofc it has the benefit that because its author is the one coming up with the classpect system in the first place, it gets to set its own definition. so in effect, the classpects in homestuck are self-descriptive; each title is an intrinsically correct description of the character's arc and themes, in the exact same way that the character's NAME is an intrinsically correct description of what the character is called. i think this is the whole reason why afaik there hasnt actually been explicit descriptions of what most of the classes do, and why there were only like 3 or 4 explicit in-universe descriptions of the classes, because if hussie said that a character's class means exclusively X thing, and then that character goes and does Y instead and never does X, then the story has contradicted itself

but instead, by keeping most of them vague, the classes become inherently self-descriptive. it's impossible to say that character A has failed their role as class B, because character A is part of the definition of class B. self-descriptive

(like how once in the adventure zone travis mentioned being shocked that people online were saying that something his character did was "out of character", to which he answered something to the effect of "what do you MEAN it's out of character, i write the character and he did that!". whatever actions character A takes are, by definition, in-character for character A; if this doesn't sit right with the viewer, they may say that this makes them an incoherent and/or badly written character, but by definition the character IS defined by the actions as written by the author. self-descriptive)

bringing it back to the eridan example, it's impossible for eridan to "fail" at being a prince of hope; eridan IS the prince of hope, and thus, whatever he did IS "what the prince of hope was supposed to do", which in this case meant being someone whose character is defined and tortured by his own hopes, beliefs, and convictions, until he reaches a breaking point and destroys his own aspect not just for himself but for those around him.

without context as to what a prince is "supposed" to do, it's easy to assume he must have failed in his role because of how he very literally destroyed the presence of hope in the part he played of the story, but in-universe the classes are descriptive and not prescriptive: eridan is the prince of hope BECAUSE of the role he played in the story, not in spite of it.

in any case, this whole mess is my way of saying that this is why assigning class and aspect to characters from non-homestuck media is, for me at least, very fun and illuminating! because, while in homestuck they may be self-descriptive, for non-homestuck media they are inherently just descriptive. you just need to analyze the characters, as you, the reader, understand them, and pinpoint their core essence as a character via their character arc and dominant themes. and it can illuminate interesting parallels, trends and contrasts in the story as it exists. it's kind of like a birds eye view character analysis cheat sheet and that makes it very fun dkfnekmf

#homestuck #classpect #man idk what to tag this as #sushi original #on this same note i have very many words about vriska and why i think gambling and luck is actually a void thing and not a light thing #tldr being that vriskas power upon ascention is that she no longer relies on luck at all #light is not luck as a variable it is fortune as in concrete fate. as i interpret it the defining Thing for light aspect is 'certainty'

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genderfreezone · 5 years

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Do you like the Evil Within 2?

Yeah! Certainly not as much as the first one (i was not immune to being sad they left out fan favorites Jojo and Ruvik's Cube)

The rest of this post is me rambling about things i didnt like about the game, and then things i did like (most of my issues are how they treat the female characters tbh)

Its missing kind of the action-noir-gone-horrifically-wrong feel of the first game. The scare factor also suffers bc our player character has been through this before, hes a veteran at dealing with this crazy shit, it doesnt phase him anymore and by extension it doesnt phase the player. They really like tripled down on the Evil Corporation thing and both the intrigue and horror suffer for it.

This game did not drink its respect women juice (the first one didnt really either, case in point: Everything About Kidman) Sebastian is surrounded by 5+ female characters and only 2 of them survive (and one of them is his 7 year old daughter hes spent the whole game trying to rescue... and yet they never bothered to give her any kind of characterization or agency. A highly empathetic and supernaturally powerful little girl in a monster-infested hellscape?? HELLO???? Lily really had the potential to be the most interesting, sympathetic, and complex character--especially as she slowly lost her innocence--in the WHOLE GAME, but she was just sort of relegated to Plot Device McGuffin) The rest of the female supporting cast are killed off for Sebastian's Man Pain. In fact, THIS ENTIRE GAME IS CENTERED AROUND SEBASTIAN'S MAN PAIN. Torrez is a walking stereotype, shes literally just Vasquez from Aliens. Hoffman was the most likeable and believeable, except when it Turns Out She Was In Love With Liam Or Whatever (psst, guess what, i dont care. Also O'neal was kind of a dick anyway? I dont care x2)

And you know who i SUPER dont care about? Bland-White-Bread-And-Mayo-Sandwich Myra. Where's the no-nonsense firecracker of a police lieutenant Sebastian married? Not here, thats for sure. Her entire personality is "mother" and "worries about stressed-out husband". We got more characterization of Myra in seb's jornals from the first game, where she never even made a physical appearance! Horror media does this SO MUCH, women are either A. Sexy Lamp B. Hurts Men (Sexily) C. Mother or D. Innocent Virgin. It sucks. Do better.

The story lacked the "digging up old buried memories" and "theres more to this than meets the eye" of the first game. It felt too...... Straightforward. Everyone told Sebastian the truth. EVERYTHING WAS EXACTLY WHAT IT SEEMED. It all felt too simple, too easy, like there SHOULDVE been something else beneath the surface. And yet there wasnt. (I watched markipliers playthrough and i loved his theory that Kidman was actually Lily. It had such potential. Kidman's entire resume for the police station was fabricated, who's to say the rest of her past wasnt fabricated as well? It would retcon a lot of stuff and like 80% of her backstory from the DLC, but you know games like this arent above retconning important shit, and at least it wouldve been sacrificed for something with actual intrigue. Maybe it wouldnt even retcon anything! Consider: tiny Lily is taken by Evil Corporation and dropped off in a non-nurturing environment that would lead her to become the kind of person who would willingly join & work for an organization like Mobius. At least wouldve been a nice excuse for why Kidman and Lilys face models looked so similar... other than... yknow.... "WomEN ARe hArD tO DRaWwwwwee")

Okay okay ive been ranting for long enough. It probably makes it sound like i kinda hate this game, but i dont! It certainly doesnt hold the same place in my heart as the first one (which i still have very glaring issues with lmao Kidman deserved WAAAAAAY better), but i do like it! It brings back salty, grizzled, tsundere Sebastian Castinellos. It brings back spooky monsters that kill you dead. It brings back having a fun theatrical over-the-top villain who takes himself a litte too seriously.

I love Stefano. Probably not in the way some other fans do, but i love him as a ridiculous theatrical over-the-top villain. He sucks! And i love that he sucks! I love him BECAUSE he sucks! Hes terrible and exaggerated and completely up his own ass and ITS GREAT. He isnt as ACTUALLY THREATENING as Ruvik was (even in his bad assassin's creed cosplay. I could go on and on and on about why Ruvik is simultaneously a ridiculous AND frightening antagonist and how much i love it but uh..... maybe later) but hes such a FUN villain! Hes the kind of pretentious art snob shitheel i cannot STAND irl, but in this game i LOVE to HATE him. Hes just SO over-the-top you kinda wonder if he actually subscribes to the pretentiousness he spouts, or if hes just being Exceptionally Extra.

The other villains? Theodore was.... forgettable. His monsters were forgettable. (Its like how i completely forgot that Frank Manera was a character in Whistleblower for like... 5 years lmao i guess this game also kinda followed that "having multiple named/characterized antagonists in one game" thing that Outlast did) Myra, i just didnt care. Her final design was kinda cool, i liked the red clusters of insect eyes. Her monsters werent really gross enough to be memorable. The only reson theyre gross at all is bc they kinda look like theyre made of semen. (I checked the wiki and apparently Myra's white goo is "psychoplasm" and her monsters lost 99% of their gross factor. I just dont care.) The Administrator literally just looked like a 3D human model of Maxwell from dont starve, and i have to laugh every time i see him. Hes not terribly threatening, all he does is threaten characters to work faster and doesnt actually follow through on those threats. He doesnt even make fun threats like HABIT or anything. He thinks hes so powerful and ominous that his mere presence will frighten the player but hes just kinda all bark and no bite. Hes The Big Bad Company Man so you know hes gonna get whats coming to him, and you know Kidmans gonna be the one to do it to him, so hes not even that much of a threat. Hes whatever.

Stefano definitely got all of the coolest monsters. Many Arms Buzzsaw Lady was terrifying and i love her. And OBSCURA was just *Chef's Kiss* Anima was cool, she kinda looked like a mix of Laura and Samara. The Harbingers were neat, but really only bc ive got a thing for gas masks. The rest of the monsters werent really unique or weighty/threatening enough to be memorable. Now the first game is a fucking TREASURE TROVE of unique monsters *muah* you got Sadist, Sentinel, Keeper, Amalgam, Heresy, Laura, Shigyo, the Twins, Alter Egos, and im probably forgetting some!! But holy FUCK!!!!! And if we're includong the DLC?? MOTHER FUCKING SHADE. SPOTLIGHT LADY. LIGHT WOMAN. SEXY LEGS. Whatever you call her, i fucking love her. Her design is so simple. Helmet. Sheet. Legs. Her voice? Unnerving as hell. Love it. (Also i just personally love the diving helmet. Also like you know how a lot of games have a spotlight mechanic where you have to avoid the light and if it lands on you, you're fucked? LET'S MAKE AN ENTIRE MONSTER OUT OF THAT. She's PERFECT.) Oh and also those weird crawling exploding dudes. They made gross sounds and it was great. (Tbh Keepers still probably my favorite, if only for horny reasons)

TATIANA HOW HAVE I NOT FUCKING TALKED ABOUT TATIANA. Shes like the ONE female character that i fucking LOVE in the sequel. I love how they finally gave her a personality, and that personality is literally just "fuck you, Sebastian" Oh GOD its great shes SO FUNNY. I just.... god i love Tatiana lmao. I love how she makes you kinda uncomfortable too, like she knows something, but she wont tell you bc youre stupid. I didn't like the kind of "all-knowing guide" thing they did to try and make her creepy (like she's a "guide" but then also turns around and is like "no i wont tell you what you need to know bc you """have to discover it on your own""" or whatever") it serves no purpose since she never gave you any actual information, and it didn't succeed in making her creepier, all it did was frustrate me. She was at her creepiest when she IMPLIED she was doing something behind the scenes or knew something you didn't know and then didn't elaborate (not REFUSING to elaborate, just... stopping talking and leaving the statement to hang in the air, like the "getting her nails done" and "its been a long time, detective" and the "now what makes you say that" from the first game) and she was at her funniest when she was interacting with Sebastian from the sidelines, her snide little comments and sarcastic clapping cracked me the fuck up. Tatiana not treating Sebastian seriously was a fantastic touch for a game that otherwise would probably take itself so seriously it would double back around to being silly. Without Tatiana, it would've been just another male-centric gun-toting "survival horror" game, and for the most part, it was just that. She was definitely a much-needed source of slightly derisive comedy and a definite high-point for me, even if they didn't so a great job of making her creepy or fulfilling her "purpose."

Oh I also really love the COLORS in TEW2. The first game fell into the trap of having the colors be totally washed out that a lot of horror stuff does, but it also kind of worked for it. Especially with the color pallette of our main villain and how the whole thing was His World. The saturation of the colors in the second game is a breath of fresh air and gorgeous to look at, and you can even see the color motifs of the game change with each new villain: the game starts out with Stephano has lots of blues and purples and dark reds, when Theodore takes over we get bright orange and yellow contrasted with black and brown, and in the climax with Myra the game goes back to having washed out colors and white (and with her villain design? Let's face it: they were kinda just trying to do Ruvik again) We did get portions that were still kind of wahed out whites and greens and greys, but it wasnt the ENTIRE game, even the big blood-and-brains splatterhouse sections of the first game kinda had their colors weirdly muted for that "Horror Aethetic."

In conclusion, i do like the evil within 2, but i also had a lot of problems with it. And i complain about these problems because i like the game and know it couldve done better, tried harder, and been a LOT more than it was (the wasted character potential is my real overarching pet peeve, probably becuase i loved the characters in the first game, and character development is kind of my whole jam) . But all in all, it was still a fun monster-zombie romp with at least one entertaining villain and fun-to-look-at designs and environments. It wasn't character or horror or even REALLY story driven in the way I know it COULDVE been, but i still had a fun time and enjoyed myself.

#long post #875asks #anonymous #the evil within 2 #i couldnt put a readmore on a mobile post so you all have to suffer with me #my paragraph about stefano got cut out so i put it back in lol

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xuune · 6 years

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some thoughts on s7

this ended up me kind of rambling about my thoughts and feelings on s7 that are all over the place, so please bear with me if these thoughts don’t seem too well organized or anything:

now, before i even actually saw the season, i was just snooping around here on tumblr to see what ppl’s reactions were, and i kind of let it get to the better of me. some people were just over dramatizing what was happening in s7, and their negativity on the season made me believe that i would wholeheartedly dislike the season. i saw all the posts with people going on about how if youre still watching the show, you should immediately drop it (and it was mainly centered around few central complaints going around right now, pretty sure you can figure that out on your own on what that was). it was understandable on where the frustration was stemming from. i only got 3 hours of sleep because of what people were saying despite not even seeing the season for myself and seeing how events would ultimately play out. but like they would always say, you shouldn’t let other people’s judgement affect you, and it really shouldn’t be the determining factor on how you view things or how your opinions are formed.

when i watched the season, my general reaction to it was that its “ok”, i didn’t think it was entirely and absolutely terrible. i already know how a lot of us didn’t like the way a few characters got treated. i mainly thought that the animation looked nicer and improved in some of the action scenes. the writing was kind of “meh” for me when it came to whatever certain plot points that got introduced or continued. watching it on my own actually removed any thoughts of me disliking/hating the season entirely.

even though i say this, the things i mention here are mainly about some issues that kept being brought up by people and circled around ever since s7 got released.

in terms of character development? besides what we’ve been given for hunk, which has been awesome so far (i dont really feel like i have much to go in depth with for this, its already self explanatory in the season itself), i guess its going somewhere. i’ve got some hope, but it’s not on the level where its overwhelmingly high and optimistic. everyone’s been talking about the lack of actual lance development, how he’s constantly being reduced to being the “dumb” one, but we actually see him take initiative when needed. lance has been shown to stepping up and taking his role into account when handed the opportunity to do so, and it was multiple times when lance was given the re-established position of keith’s right-hand man. despite whatever remarks keith made on lance, whether or not they were supposed to come off as teasing/joking for the audience, keith does still seem to believe in lance’s capabilities. if he didn’t, keith wouldn’t have trusted lance the task on leading their team on their mission(s). lance actually got scenes where he could shine off as being portrayed more than what he’s constantly being insulted as. there are still some scenes of them showing mutual trust and respect for each other, especially with lance voting for keith during “the feud” and the reasoning he gave. but yeah, some parts it did seem like keith was kind of ooc in certain episodes when comparing his personality back to s3. who knows why keith gave the reasoning he did when he voted for lance. EDIT: acoolemocucumber’s post makes a good note on pointing out how during the voting section, keith is actually the first one to start writing. it’s later revealed that he chose lance on first pick. lance was the second to finish. even though he was peeking over at hunk and pidge to see who they chose, he instead decides to choose keith. keith choosing lance as a first choice without pure hesitance is amazing to see, and it really shows he trusts and respects lance a lot despite the reasoning he gave. then again, actions speak louder than words and countless times keith has shown to be that kind of guy by relaying a lot of important tasks to lance throughout this season.

i’ll do say that i enjoyed most of the scenes they shared when they had to take a leading initiative with each other though. that was pretty nice to see again, and it felt like a decade since i ever saw that kind of dynamic from those two.

there were a lot of action packed scenes, and i watched through those entirely to see if there’s any important plot detail to know, or make note of, while watching the ep to make sure i wouldnt be lost with whats happening so far. some people found it boring, some people found the fight scenes amazing and stunning. certain scenes had me really amazed on how well it was animated, some other scenes not so much in terms of repetition, and thats kind of bound to happen if we’re provided an arc where its continuing to keep the tense vibes on the recurring events with the current situation of the season.

this is just merely my take on it, (my memory’s not the best with how much information im recalling from those 13 episodes) but it kind of felt lackluster with how the paladins barely got any kind of break where they could seriously spend one episode on unwinding, having in-depth conversations one on one, and not be so worried about the galra all the time. sure, there’s a few scenes like that in a few episodes, but it didn’t seem enough to make it feel like it balanced out whatever conflicts or character issues were newly or constantly introduced.

ive read posts already about how some people had liked the season a lot, loved the actions scenes and all. but to me, some conflicts that took place seemed out of place or just didn’t really align well (idk how else to phrase it) especially with adam’s death, and i had minor mixed feelings about ep “the journey within”.

about adam, it just seemed out of place and rushed for them to introduce shiro’s s/o only for them to take him away. we don’t get to see how fleshed out adam could’ve been, and i’ve already seen the frustration/rage people had with adam being killed off when considering how the creators told the viewers that they were gonna get to see adam, but weren’t told how long we’ll see him (plus the entire thing abt lgbt rep that was promised?). the thing with adam left me on a weird note, mainly because if you were just given no other info besides the info from the season, you wouldn’t even be given too explicit information about the relationship shiro had with adam. from there, it felt like there was no point in adding adam into the story if the viewers aren’t given clear information on what kind of bond shiro and adam had besides adam saying that they’ve been through a lot together (or whatever he said, idr it too much) and the “how important am i to you” line for lgbt rep points. its just pretty vague “””representation””” thats just leaving the audience to make the most out of what they’re given. we’re only given confirmation that they used to be fiancés from what they said in panels/interviews, but never in the show. im not sure what to really think about that, my mind’s just kind of in the void when i think about it. but this part i structured kind of badly and i apologize for that, but hopefully those of you can get what im saying.

as for “the journey within”, it was reasonable for the way characters acted; theyre all tired, frustrated, and losing hope and were floating in space waiting for nothing but at least something to happen. keith snaps, gets irritated at everyone, lance is also the one to lash back out at keith saying keith ran away, giving the audience a big sign that lance was hurt by keith’s disappearance/leave from the team. but for keith to quickly later on go take everything back in just a few minutes seemed really awkward for me. its a kids show and all, but i just kind of didn’t like how that one section of that episode was written ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just a feeling i had with it. however, i did love how hunk took a lot of the initiative during the episode, it’s showing his growth of actually him continuing to fully accept his role as a paladin and determined to not back down regardless of his own cowardice that could prevent him from doing so at any time.

and there’s the thing about k/acx: ive already seen a bunch of people going somewhere along the lines of disbelief, anger, frustration on how keith is getting het endgame but when i saw the episodes, his interactions with acxa didn’t even seem borderline romantic to me at all? to me, i merely saw 2 characters actually getting on better terms with each other and returning the favor. the two no longer see each other as enemies but allies now. keith only went back to save acxa because it seemed like he believed that he felt in debt to acxa for trying to save his team. ezor and zethrid merely poked fun at acxa, but if you consider previous seasons where acxa and keith interacted, the two just continued to return the favor of owing whatever debt they had for each other. it didn’t seem like there was any romantic tension intended in any of the scenes where they interacted. we already know acxa betrayed ezor and zethrid by switching sides, and if you were betrayed you’re bound to make at least a remark on whoever betrayed you either way. in this case, ezor and zethrid found it reasonable to make a comment on acxa’s alliance with keith, hence how they teased acxa possibly crushing on keith (whether or not thats actually confirmed, its just left ambiguous and up for interpretation at that point). there’s the parallel with how they animated the shot between keith and acxa talking to each other, but neither did that one seem romantic to me? i hope im not the only one who thought that? the other scene people talked about was when acxa is in the same scene where keith was present when he visits his dad’s grave with krolia. i dont get why some people were upset about that either. even though its at the last ep of s7, there’s nothing to imply that keith invited acxa to go visit his dad’s grave with him or anything if you consider their placement in the scene. if keith did care about acxa’s presence being there when he visited the grave, wouldn’t he at least acknowledge acxa’s presence by showing obvious attention to her, or have her close to where him and krolia were? she remains distant but respectful of keith in the scene. i dont see where these scenes would imply keith automatically finds a romantic interest in acxa. acxa to keith? maybe, we don’t entirely know. keith to acxa? i dont see it being implied anywhere at all. not to mention keith’s “can’t we just fight” statement right after ezor and zethrid teased acxa about having a romantic interest in keith. again, its just my take on what’s being presented and my own thoughts on how people are viewing it.

and with a/l, it leaves me on a bad note with how its progressing if its really getting the sealed deal endgame. like most people have been saying, it would be good for them to be endgame if they were only written better. am i entirely convinced theyre endgame? not really because there’s that small chance where vld pulls a 180 and the show creators stay true to their words on lance not being a rebound, lance being someone’s first choice, lance getting what he needs, not what he wants. what’s being given/presented so far is just bad writing with how allura suddenly reciprocates feelings for lance out of nowhere despite showing consistent disinterest in lance’s advances in previous seasons. s4 and onward we see her seeing lance more than just an annoying flirt, and the two become better friends who could genuinely talk to each other without having allura annoyed with lance’s flirtatious antics, and without lance being reduced to a constant flirt. during allura’s interest in lotor, we’re yet again presented how allura doesn’t return feelings for lance, especially during the scene when the mice told her about lance’s feelings for her back in s6. she seems rather disappointed, pitiful, or uncomfortable with knowing how lance genuinely liked her when she liked lotor during that time. later on, allura’s been out of her previous love interest with lotor, and hasn’t shown returned much of the same interest in lance. sure, she hugged lance and he returned the hug, but that only seemed necessary in the moment for when allura had felt betrayed by someone she wholeheartedly trusted and fell in love with. she needed comfort from someone and the person she spoke to was lance who was able to lend her some comforting words. but that was about it. i’d like to say that considering that this is a kids show, it does give a bad incentive for children to develop on believing that if they continue to force their feelings onto someone else, the person they’re interested in will eventually like them back out of the blue, which is the worst course of action to take despite being rejected countless times (and its kind of being shown with what a/l has right now). to take this kind of scenario and to fix/put it with good writing would to just properly depict lance accepting rejection and allura staying true to her previous feelings on not reciprocating his feelings. in a general sense, we all know that we can’t always get what we want, and that’s an important moral that always gets taught over and over again even if youre a child or an adult. rejection and acceptance of the rejection is something that can be taught here through the romantic subplot they’ve been having. just deciding that they should become endgame out of nowhere would leave the writing very dull. having allura get out of her previous love interest with lotor only to quickly move onto lance just doesn’t leave off on a good note. it just reduces lance to a rebound and that’s about it.

the writing for me wasn’t really that breathtaking, overwhelming, or emotional or anything when it came to new plot points being presented (you know, all the fight scenes, galaxy garrison, that stuff). again, a lot of things seemed pretty rushed, i had mixed feelings for some but not all episodes. it was nice to see mostly everyone united back with their families and characters developing new motives for what they believe in doing. yet, the writing kind of just wasn’t on the level of where it actually gets me really interested and invested into the storyline like how it had back in s1 to early s3. i’ll still mention how the writing did it’s part in presenting development for hunk, though. i enjoyed that a lot.

some parts of the writing were questionable, some parts of the season were enjoyable, but it wasn’t entirely overwhelmingly disappointing for me. the season was on the bare minimum on having the writing go “decent”, but again it felt pretty “meh” and this is just my own feelings on it. people have their own opinions, frustrations, concerns, questions, some people loved it, some people severely hated it or just felt extremely disappointed.

the season has its peaks and lows, some pros and cons, but whatever you take from it is what you believe.

i’ll still keep watching the show to see how it ends, that’s for sure.

#voltron #vld #voltron spoilers #voltron s7 spoilers

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amateuranxiety · 5 years

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Ken Rants About “Vanishing World” for Probably Way Too Long

Good evening. My name is Ken, I am a dumb, overanalyzing nerd, and I have completely fallen for the narrative Vocaloid producer Grey (a.k.a. Monstrosity) has set up in the first two songs of her series, Vanishing World. I know only two out of the ten-ish-maybe? songs have been released so far, but I’ve been stewing on my thoughts for a while now and I felt that I absolutely needed to get them down somewhere. in this essay i will- I hope that people are able to see this and possibly be interested in checking the series out? I just feel like it deserves a lot more attention. I highly recommend listening to all the work on her channel. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrq2qxXTl7u-YKeSqIJ5xZA Now, without further ado, I give you my analysis. i feel like im giving myself too much credit for my hyperfocused ramblings lol

WARNING!

This writing discusses themes of mass death and other death related subject matter. If you are disturbed by these things, then please proceed with caution. Stay safe.

Basic Plot Summary

Vanishing World is the story of the end of the world, and the beasts who cause it. One beast for every element or force of nature or whatever. So far, they seem to choose a human to “cooperate” with in order the wreak their havoc on Earth. Human resistances rise up around the world, although not much information has been provided about them yet. Our story begins in the twenty-fifth day of the month of June, they year 2000.......

Part 1: Aberrant Garden

Kaylee Tagetes was a young girl with a remarkable, and almost scary, gift for gardening. However, as she grew, she spiraled out of control. She began fusing plants with other forms of existence, creating a deadly army for the first destruction god, Carnation. where are your parents??? Also she had this weird flower with a face growing out of her head, but I don’t think it’s that relevant also it just scares me so I’m just gonna ignore it unless I think something up about it, ok? Ok.

An investigator dispatched to “the site of the anomaly (I’m assuming this is Kaylee’s house)” finds this information and more inside of a conveniently placed exposition note that was probably just lying on the ground I guess.

Some important things I want to highlight in the note:

“However, as she grew older, she became... curious about something. Almost like a mysterious force was feeding her thoughts. What was this thing she was curious about, you ask? Simple!

...”By what means? That part... shall remain a mystery.”

“...and it was at that moment when she was poisoned by a spider monster. Acid flowed through her veins. She fell, passed out from blood loss. Probably dead.”

“‘My name is Carnation, the Monster of Flora. You shall hear more about me in the afterlife- your time is up.’“

“Into a giant maw she was dropped... no one ever saw her again as Kaylee Tagetes.”

What these things mean (probably):

Every beast is able to get into the mind of its host and pretty much possess them and lead them to do what they want.

Whoever wrote the note wants the process of monster creation to remain a mystery.

Probably dead. Probably.

use your real name, nerd the one you made up sounds stupid

She was eaten. Trapped within the monster’s stomach.

Our investigator pal jumps on the bandwagon with his own exposition!

“In the year 2100, the apocalypses rises, fear the chrome god monsters and their trapped traitor humans.”

He goes on about how weird it is that Carnation woke up 100 years before the rest. Also that note was pretty strange too I guess. But the question is, who wrote it? Well, my friend, it seems obvious that it was written by a human being, so I propose the theory that Kaylee herself wrote the note. I’ll explain my reasoning soon enough, but for it to make any sense at all (even though it still probably won’t), I need to move on to.......

quick note: the more i think about this the more stupid it sounds for reasons ill get into in a moment, but im just gonna keep the Kaylee Note Theory here in case it somehow leads to me having some grand revelation about the true author.

edit:upon further reflection it may be possible, but i still think there is plenty of room for error within my theory.

Part 2: Ulterior Spectacle

Our Earth was at peace. Finally. But they didn’t let it last.

Stephan Alexander, nineteen year old photographer and the second traitor human in our story. Using a device gifted to him by the Monster of Ice, Morzogo, he is able to freeze any landscape and turn any human being into stone with the click of a button. This device is the grand Tundra Lens. One of the worst birthdays I’ve ever heard of ngl. He goes around killing millions over a period of five months because of what Morzogo had told him.

“They don’t deserve to see the world as you do. They deserve to be a part of a picture, do they not? Make them go still so you may have the perfect picture. Travel the world and make them allll stiiiill, so they’ll be with you forever.”

To summarize the end of the story:

girl’s voice snaps him out of trance was that a pun?

instant regret for literal mass murder

suicide via medusa method (mirror, click, bye bye)

Also, if you watch the lovely PV, you’ll notice that that girl that brought him back to reality is literally Kaylee Tagetes. A twelve year old killed a chaos god of mass destruction that ate her after she was poisoned and lost a lot of blood. This takes place maybe around the year 2032 and she still looks 12. h o w ? guess she’s dead now idk all the humans are gonna be ghosts and talk about their poor life decisions in the afterlife i guess

So yeah that’s basically my explanation for my whole Kaylee wrote the note thing.

Explaining my Kaylee Note Theory:

I think I figured out how she killed Carnation. The poison in her blood. Ingesting that could have killed him. I don’t know what it takes to kill an old one or whatever those things are, but maybe??????

The prophesy just states that the human traitor are trapped. Not dead, right? dont know about poor stephan tho oof. unless the possession automatically gives you op protagonist powers. they’re probably still dead tho

I don’t know what motivation she would have for leaving the note behind though.

Maybe she wrote it as a ghost-type-person-thing????? idk i feel like im reaching at this point ive been typing for over an hour now.

also im not sure where to fit this in but some characters talk about The Crisis which is where humans randomly turn into monsters????? idk its just been brought up once so far so i dont know what to think of it.

Alright. The last thing I want to talk about today is.......

Zone-B and Codename:NULL

We first meet Codename:NULL in the description of Battle: Xelzerin (that’s Carnation’s real name btw. i guess he’s a dork who doesn’t think his full name sounds cool like me). She’s receiving an email from another Zone-B member, Codename:GANYMEDE, who basically gives us some information about Xelzerin we didn’t already know. Including the fact that Xelzerin isn’t dead??? i should have re-read everything before i started typing this has just turned into one big semi-organized mess im so sorry

anyway!! foreshadowing about the Earth and Electric beasts, NULL’s name is revealed to be Madeline in the description of Ulterior Spectacle, and apparently Stephan froze over 70% of the world in only five months. Probably a rich kid.

if i weren’t so tired and had more information about a story that’s barely half-way done, i feel like i would be much more thorough with my analysis and theories. i may type out a part 2 once song three drops. until then, ill wait patiently. maybe ill choke out a little theory if i have a sudden revelation but nothing on this scale. maybe ill be able to choke out a timeline as well. i can barely spell i should probably stop hope you enjoyed sorry it go so messy towards the end especially right here ily goodbye.

proofreading: barely im sorry

#vanishing world #vanishing beasts #monstrosity #monstrosity vocaloid #aberrant garden #ulterior spectacle #kaylee tagetes #stephan alexander #ken does theory #im coughing so much please save me im tired #vocaloid

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tumblunni · 5 years

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Man now im thinking about headcanons on someone else's headcanon and i feel so embarassed lol. Like i would never have the balls to actually leave a comment like "hey i love your supa dark mega ultra backstory heres my dumb ideas out of nowhere for other plots he could have" even tho i love people making comments like that on my own headcanons aaa

SO WHATEVER im gonna ramble the dumb ideas here. In secret. Where that fanartist probably wont see. Which defeats the entire purpose of writing the thing. But i am a shy bitch.

OKAY SO

The idea of a Zeti/Human hybrid is SO COOL and especially with that dark history of him dying of the same disease as his sister and the whole experiment on him being covered up. Which makes me think there could be SO MANY potential plotlines with him and Maria! Like he's torn between wanting to tell her he's alive and wanting to run away forever from fear of her being scared of what he's become, and then part of him doesnt even feel like himself anymore and he wonders if itd be best to just give in to the madness and forget being human.

And i dunno maybe he kinda acts like a guardian angel to her? Like he cant stand never seeing her again even if it means sneaking around in secret and just protecting her without her knowing. Maybe leaves mysterious birthday presents from nowhere? Gets depressed that his attempt to sew a teddy bear ended up terrible because of his claws, but she loves it and makes up a story that this patchwork bear is "here cos he's sick too, just like me!" Kinda like...projects her scattered memories of her dead brother onto the bear? She doesnt conciously remember him but some of the stuff she 'imagines' in her make believe games ends up being eerily close.

And maybe what if someday he slipped up and she accidentally saw him? But she isnt scared at all, like he thought she'd be. She takes him to see her 'secret best friend', the strange ultimate weapon creature in the basement. So Warpnik ends up being roped into playing tea party with his amnesiac sister and a hedgehog and it was possibly the weirdest day of his life, even more so than when he died! But maria still doesnt revognise its him, she just thinks he's another "friend who was made here" like shadow. She talks about how she feels like just another experiment too, because she barely remembers her life back on earth before she got sick. So even though his worst case scenario didnt happen and he has a chance at bonding with his sister again, this was still a traumatic day that pushed him further away from her. Her saying that made him think of her ending up as a monster like him, and how she seemed to have made peace with the idea of never having a normal life. It was the seed of even more hatred of himself, and now a hatred for shadow too, seeing him as something that was hurting Maria by "making her think that freaks like us deserve to live". He's powerless to save his sister and he knows that the labs are doing weapon experiments like him and shadow when they should be focusing everything on curing Maria! So he lashes out at this other poor kid who doenst have any blame for whats happened. Loses control of himself and attacks him without conciously meaning to, but he still knows those ugly feelings inside are really something he really thought. I feel like his 'loopy' monster side would just be him without limits, sorta? Like sometimes his subconcious feelings explode out of him, because he was quiet and reserved as a human. And sometimes its just him being a goofy prankster when he would have been too shy before, but sometimes its a depressing scene of having a nice day with your sister and feeling hope for the future and then you have your claws at the throat of her best friend and she's looking at you with the fear you always expected to see. So maybe that was the incident that led to him ripping off his horns and getting so obsessed with trying to look human again...

Oh also another good plot idea would be him actually meeting the Deadly Six someday! By the timeframe of Lost World he'd be an adult and more like his canon self, so itd be extra interesting! Like theyre all

"whoa, its an adult!"

"HEY WHAT ABOUT ME"

"ok we have zavok but here's an actually functional adult!"

"The dude's talking to a rubber fish!"

"Yeah, like i said, saner than you."

And they'd probably also be naturally HELLA CONFUSED cos i mean where in the heck did this other zeti come from?? Even more confusing that he says he's been here before they turned up, and that he won't shut up about being a human. Itd probably end with them all marching over to GUN headquarters and slapping their shit for DARING to make artificial zeti! And as they do the badass slow walk away from the explosion theyre also like "ok so we all agree we're adopting this guy right?" "Yep" "yeah" "totally"

Probably joining the deadly six would actually be really beneficial to warpnik's mental health! Even though theyre villains he'd still get to see that...yknow...theyre PEOPLE, and his species isnt necessarily inherantly violent. Well..okay..maybe theyre a LITTLE violent, but like not 'mindless beast' violent but 'ordinary teenage pranksters having a blast trolling this blue hedgehog' violent. Your destiny is not set in stone! You can join us and embrace the comic relief!!

I dunno man ive wrote way too many words for a headcanon of a headcanon of a guys headcanon and i dont even know

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grandpayaoi · 5 years

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anyway hey im gonna ramble about oblivion vampires as i’m writing them so just a heads up i got a lot of thoughts and i just wanna ramble a bit about the pure conjecture bc i got barely any canon to base it off of

this is mostly for my benefit but whatever

ive been doing a lot of character development shit when it comes to tropes and arcs and theres a lot that i’m really excited to work with once i get an actual plot down

we’re not given any canon information about springheel jak/jakben, earl of imbel except that a) he was a burglar and graverobber, b) he was known for his absurd acrobatics, c) he used to be close with emer dareloth, the first gray fox, and d) he took vampirism as a power trip. of course his legends have faded into utter obscurity and he’s vaguely anonymous as another noble in the imperial city, and he serves as testament to the selfishness and sense of self-preservation that tugs at one end of the order cyrodiil destabilizing. i wanna make this clear: the order isn’t in good shape after the oblivion crisis in canon, having lost most of its members, and i’m writing it as if there’s absolutely been better days. this is a downward spiral kinda story arc. he’s one side of a dangerous coin

i’m splitting the tragic vampire love story in two bc im making the fates of lovidicus of crowhaven and rona hassildor into foils in vampirism damning the love itself; theyre both explicitly about rejection of the disease, but lovidicus is imprisoned by a lover who doesn’t understand whereas rona is the one who rejects it of herself, putting her husband in a position of choice between letting her die or forcing her to live and suffer. the inherent tragedy in lovidicus is the fear that meets him damning him while, due to the nature of vampirism, he would have had to take care to make sure luktuv gro-malog wasn’t infected. conversely, it’s heavily implied that janus hassildor is in fact the one who infected his wife in the first place, though likely by accident.

the crimson scars are mostly background, save for greywyn blenwyth and silarian, who come in actually fairly late into the story? there are three or four members of the order who will be crimson scars (who range from being more proud of their vampirism than their dark brotherhood association to having equal loyalty between the two groups, put a pin in that) but greywyn represents this other bit of the order crumbling where the idea that vampirism grants a sense of pure superiority counteracts their blending into normal society when their other nature is to dominate by any means possible. greywyn’s delusional and works too well too fast, but his downfall is largely his relationship with silarian. silarian in this context is one of the closest to greywyn who’s still mortal, and turns with only half-information (put a pin in that too,) and that betrayal is just a huge melodrama that you kind of have to do when you’re dealing with the dark brotherhood but there’s gonna be a whole fuckin bunch about this

and take the pins out bc greywyn blenwyth is also in his ‘turn or die’ quest acting as part-foil to vicente, who of the three or four dual order cyrodiil/dark brotherhood members, is the most staunch brotherhood loyalist. admittedly vicente valtieri is relegated to a very two-note questgiver/mentor figure with the vampirism being the One Thing that makes his character interesting so the way i’ve spiced his character up ends up being the ‘do you ever just want to go buck wild’ archetype of intense restraint bc he’s literally the only vampire, including the one that got locked up for 20-someodd years, to be at 100% vampirism, and he lives with a bunch of living people he’s told himself he won’t feed off of. he’s restrictive in how much he tells the order about the brotherhood in part because he really doesn’t care for the order (as the flipside of the restraint is absolute massacres that the order condemned until well after his joining the brotherhood, and his contacts within being found out by the order’s previous head being the only reason he holds a position in the order at all) and a lot of his characterization that isn’t this restraint/indulgent violence balance is just pointing out the glaringly obvious faults with having a vampire 1% that suppresses part of their nature and inverting his ingame persona of warmth that comes across as slightly unnerving to utter coldness (i’ve developed a lot on him bc of overlaps with other projects im workin on but i guess that’s just personal bias)

the pale lady is gonna play a major role in the opposition to janus hassildor’s decisions and painting him in a more morally ambiguous light, since she’s another one of his victims - albeit indirectly - and stands for and by rona more than anything. also she gets a bit of the carmilla in the animated castlevania treatment with finding personal power in vampirism and developing a cruelty streak but it’s less of a sob story and more of just teetering off the deep end but i get to build her from the ground up and i’m gonna have to do more work on that

i just havent given seridur any thought at all bc he’s further at the end, being a newer blooded vampire

anyway you ever get to the end of a rant and realize it makes no sense bc that’s where im at right now

#.manifesto #.t #this is just word vomit #explicitly so i don't forget it

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coolmiddlename · 7 years

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adventure time season 7 part 1 review

aaaaaaaaaa

we finished the king of ooo arc!!!!!! all the way to the end of stakes!!!

anyway as u can tell from my excitement we had a blast. i think this is one of the most emotionally sincere parts of adventure time, and many of the episodes made me laugh far more than i ever did during season 6, so theyve very welcome. yeah, some eps at the start of season 7 are lacking laughs or visual cues due to lazy storyboarding, but there are plenty of excellent parts to make good for it... and the finale totally gripped me.

lets go through the episodes and try to describe what i found exciting:

Bonnie and Neddy - theres just something really touching about this episode. seeing finn and jake in those armored suits is a little silly but good setbuilding for the king of monarchy the king of ooo is trying to run, and transitioning from finns description about the brilliance of the water to the king of ooo making a scam of it, pretty damn funny. but what was better was the backstory presented in this episode... bonnie descends from the mother gum into a new world full of promise and life, destiny child that she is, whereas neddy experiences terror and overstimulation. and seeing her just... worry about him, get sad when he didnt recognise her but protect him w the song and bring him home, man i loved it

Varmints - i dont think we ever got a bubbline episode THIS expressive before or since, not even in stakes. the humor was SO ON POINT that i was rolling on the ground while the emotional trains of thought the chars were going through was presented so well, there was no ambiguity that wasnt deliberately placed. king of ooo in the costumes was a nice chuckle and also set in place that peebles as a princess had waaaay more power than whatever the “king of ooo” was before to the extent he sees her clothes as symbols of that strength. i swear hes literally named that by his parents. anyway shes in the denial/bargaining stage of grief and falls into the depression stage after her hat is stolen and she remembers everything she lost, also i love this ep cos they were so EXPRESSIVE. probably the best pb ep...ever? at least until season 8′s jelly beans have power. emotion is something deeply missing from stakes, which ill get into in a moment.

the other three eps - i wanted 2 make a paragraph for each of the other three eps but they didnt stand out enough... HOWEVER, over time ive come to enjoy the strangely domestic nature of Dirt Beer Guy a lot more, also i like Mama Said for being a sweet lil Canyon ep that goes into what finn and jake think of their new job... Football was the most standout of all, just something unsettling about seeing bmo argue with its own inner psyche i mean football. enjoyable, uncomfortable, cute.

Stakes - what a heartfelt insight into the past of marceline, her history as a vampire and perspective on the present... lets talk a bit about the strengths and weaknesses of stakes.

I felt that the miniseries handled Marceline’s past as a vampire hunter, as a young girl who had just been abandoned, and as a toddler with her mother.... it pulled at the heartstrings in a way AT rarely does. my favourite part of this backstory was marceline’s relationship with the bunny girl, who weve come to believe is finn’s ancestor.

i also felt it was glorious folowup to the season 6 ending and a pretty good use of having all the characters without any responsibilities to the candy kingdom. they went on a vampire hunting adventure together which was sweet.

my favourite scenes of the actual miniseries were the ones that involved the vampires... ice king not being brainwashed was a funny twist that i saw coming immediately, and marceline’s vengeance on her felt real, as did her struggle the moon was intimidating as heck and finn and jake were so bad at taking her out. the heirophant’s transformations were really cool, thanks emily partridge for that, and the VAMPIRE KING? hooo boy. star of the show. everything he did was just so wackyzany and unpredictable, and yet so meditated that it feels like he may be the greatest thinker in the show. he reminds me of zaheer, talking to a frustrated korra. since marceline looks and acts like korra throughout this miniseries the comparison is strong.

as for other elements, my favourite parts were the ones where pb either did something goofy or morbid or fucked up the king of ooo. if looks could kill... “A MONARCHY IS NOT A DEMOCRACY!!!” BAM. so satisfying. and all the candy people hugging her, and her lil breakdown over marcy while pepbut prepares the magic. PEPPERMINT BUTLER, this miniseries sealed my love for him which only grew after Jelly Beans Have Power in season 8.

the funiest part of this miniseries were finn and jake, and the best episode was Checkmate. the fart speech scene got so many laughs out of me and then peeblles joined in and said it waS EMERGENCY TALK ONLY AND THEN THE VAMPIRE KING HOLDS HIS NOSE OUT OF STENCH and yeah for all the above reasons, the vampire king, the humor, Checkmate is the best episode. All of Finn and Jake’s other scenes were also amazing. they were fucking useless in this miniseries which, apparently, is where their humor shines most.

...which leads to my CRITICISM: a lack of expression and humor during key scenes. this is mostly related to marceline, but also to bubblegum esp at the start. there were many scenes that held the same angle for to long where they were talking about their feelings, but their faces werent changing, and it was just... visually uninteresting, didnt feel as expressive as it could have been, especially after the brilliant faces in Varmints. marceline is usually such an expressive character, seeing her standing still and rambling was so meh. which is why her flashback scenes - so full of character - are superior to any scene shes in within the present day. i mean, jesus, she literally says she feels love for pb in the most deadpan and blande way. peebles can get away with it, cos she has some KILLER faces later (that one at the king of ooo) and has always been relatively expressionless, also her actions speak volumes. marceline’s strongest expressions (in the present) were when she desperately tried to kill the Empress and the Vampire King, which makes them my favourite scenes for her.

i think Everything Stays is the defining song of adventure time. It encapsulates our experience with the whole show; AT usually builds up dramatic plots, only to anticlimactically return to the “status quo”, but what we realise later is that everyone is still affected, everyone is still changing. the princess has her kingdom back, but she’s not going to take her position for granted anymore, and has averted from her dark path for now. ice king is still the ice king, but he’s now building up some friends and finding genuine happiness in the land of ooo. finn lost his father again and got his arm back (for the time being), but he feels way less burdened by his emotions that he used to, far more grown. and the same goes for marceline... even though shes a vampire again, shes no longer as burdened by her past. she’s come to terms with it.

even though the characters return back to normal at the end of stakes, islands, elements, the things they have gone through will remain with them and shape who they become. in recent times? we have been seeing the effects of Elements on the characters of Ooo. how far they’ve been affected we are yet to see, and im excited to find out.

#adventure time #atimers #stakes #everything stays

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fooboo24 · 7 years

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watched the reign finale and despite everything i cried fiixjfijdjfjid

thoughts beneath (and therefore SPOILERS so do not click if you don’t want to see them) because i need to ramble

OVERALL MESS OF THOUGHTS AHOY

-francis and mary at the end had me blubbering ifjdijxjfijgjg. mary got to go back to the best and most ideal time of her life, when she was back in france (her home lbr... she was generally raised there) with francis. like...... it was just nice to see after everything tbh

-the entire show could have REALLY benefited from anywhere from just one more episode (pacing pacing pacing!) to just one more season. or, ya know, a rewrite of the second season. ive seen a lot of people on youtube commenting that mary being in france for like ... 2.5 seasons or whatever was too long and bogged down the plot, which i agree with. if they’d kept things concise and clean with a linear storyline and maybe only a few little side things going on, the show wouldn’t have suffered so badly later on.

alas, however, this cannot be undone. but i honestly feel like the show would have really come into itself quite well if they had been given a fifth and final season. shit could have been better paced and relationships and character better treated and fleshed out. everything this season happened way too fast because they had to come to such a definite conclusion so suddenly due to their farting around with mary in france :/ and due to this, a lot of side characters were quite literally sidelined and given half-assed sideplots that ultimately worked against the main plot moving so quickly because they felt so out of place/weren’t given enough time to go anywhere properly.

like greer and claude (AND CATHERINE!!!!!... and elizabeth... and mary herself... im rambling here), good god. claude’s plot was all ???? but felt like it could go somewhere because she was given considerable screentime with luc. but then out of nowhere, it was just: leith’s getting married (no screentime with him let alone further mention) and then “luc left claude!” and then claude was just dropped entirely. like ????? sensible or satisfying plot conclusion who? this french princess gets none. and like, she didn’t even need to have a guy for either one. it could have given her a 2-3 minute scene where she resolves to start clean and make amends with her heart and romantic struggles by allowing herself to just “be” herself outside of the expectation of having a man in her life. because we know claude is a strong girl, and they could have shown these labours of love she has been put through as fostering both a sense of sadness, but also strength with which to uphold herself. but nah. she walks away from henry and charles having a bitch fit in the throne room or whatever and that’s the last of that.

and greer. hers is a bit less severe, i suppose, but it still shows. kind of had a thing going with james that was alluded to, but the last mention of it was episodes ago when she was momentarily angry at mary for sending him away. then in this last episode? nothing, because it would be tonally inappropriate because it was a very MARY only episode both in situation and being the finale. but series’ finales handle multiple plot lines well all the time, and so could have this one, but once again other characters and storylines suffered for the immediacy of jamming a bunch of plotlines into some 40 minute episode. i mean im glad they didn’t subtract from everything going on to an extent, because that would have detracted ever further from mary’s main plotline due to time restraints, but im glad for the poorest of expectations in the show, in some ways.

my favourite character has always been catherine. a wickedly interesting character, great actress, in a mostly “meh” show overall. she got a poor end, too, but at least she got something (hello margot). the whole devil-worshiping witch thing was a bit much tbh. couldn’t emmanuelle have taken the boetia and some gold and been good to go? no. we had to see her get narcisse and catherine drunk and drugged in order to force them into an ... orgy (yes, it was effectively rape) in order to conceive a child to be her demonic spawn or something? and this gives way to catherine learning she has to buddy up with her other daughter margot (margaret? marguerite?) in order to outlive henry and charles’s bullshit (GOD!!! THE SHIT WITH NICOLE!!!! SO! MUCH! WASTED! SCREENTIME!). uhhhhh????? idk why catherine couldn’t have NORMALLY (not drunk or drugged and just having been sexually assaulted) overheard charles and henry plotting to give weapons and shit to the basques and been like “yall are idiots this won’t work” (because she’s intelligent af) and then when they brush her off and tell her she’s “not like she used to be” (or smthin along the lines of that...) she could have been like “fuck it if my idiotic sons are gonna drag france and themselves to hell im going to start this over properly with another one” and then, with the intuition she has always had, realizing that henry and charles will eventually die for their idiocy and that they are lost causes she can no longer steer to sense and survival, gone to margot to teach her of her own volition instead of by the shoe-horned prophecy of emmanuelle? just.... blah :///

literally every character deserved better, is what im saying.

with a fifth season shit could have been waaaay better explored and better ended overall. hell, mary’s life after darnley’s death could have been explored. a wedding to bothwell (let mary be momentarily happy???? [spongbob voice] and ALIVE!!!!). more conspiracies and plots against elizabeth. her capture and being held in england. greer could have given a proper chance with james, and seeing as the show isn’t largely reliant on historical accuracy, they could have been happy together. OR, seeing as she wouldn’t be playing any kind of a significant or necessary role in the story at that point any longer (she can’t join mary on the run or really visit her in captivity i imagine... and she needs to be safe for her daughter), things could have been dissipated with james and she could have been granted some land and a home and the chance to live her life with her daughter, and maybe find love and a husband in the future. she could have gotten some scenes to do justice to her character, and then been off on her way without sidelining her poorly and entirely (but still keeping her character lurking in the background for no discernible reason) to the detriment of the show. claude could have gotten a final confrontation with leith where they end it entirely, because good god leith is also one of those characters that’s been dragged around for excess punishment more than necessary, and he could have gone off and gotten married and been GONE and happy. claude would grieve, of course, but maybe she could have gotten luc back and that could be its own happy love story where she is fully ready to commit being in a happy, functional marriage with luke while falling love with him. or hell! she could have had her scene to distance herself from luc permanently, been granted an annulment, and could have gone off and just done her own thing or could have gone off to find love elsewhere. instead of her entire story left dangling. catherine could endure the loss of two more sons and the loss of the valois line in france, but how she remained a powerful surviving figure in european politics. margot would have been an interesting character to potentially get to know, too! and it would have been hella interesting to see how elizabeth would deal with the threat from spain. IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER UGH!!!! and im mad about that :///

even oneeeeee more episode would have drastically improved it. help pace it and slow it down and for the billionth time, resolve dangling sideplots. but nope.

well, okay, that’s it from me. i mean, despite its glaring flaws a lot of the time, reign is a show dear to me that also has a lot to love, and i’ll genuinely miss it.

t’was fun, reign, goodbye! :’))

#riley shit #reign #reign spoilers

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sye216-fr · 7 years

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since i want to write some lore at some point im going to toss some musings under a cut, because i’ve been creatively blocked recently and i’m hoping maybe brainstorming will wake up some art in me

the bottom line of what i wanna do with my lore is write something styled after faery legends. i call them clan unseelie though i want to come up with something a little better maybe??? its kind of a place holder right now

so with that basic concept you have a court of dragons living under a burial hill in the tangled wood (since hollow hills were one of the places faeries were said to live in) and there’s a mad tunnel complex linking the main area of the hill to other surrounding regions, and only dragons who’ve been there a while know how to properly navigate to get from one place to another. the upside is that members of the clan know all the secret entrances and can kinda “disappear” into the tunnels, seemingly into thin air, since there’s illusion magic hiding all the (known) entrances. the downside is that new dragons can get lost, and outsiders can discover entrances that were previously unknown to the clan.

im not sure of an overarching story yet but i can say right now that the main thing the clan does is chill in the great hall and attempt to entertain themselves with whatever they can. they throw totally sweet parties on the regular and sometimes dragons get drawn in by the sound of music from under the earth, finding themselves in a great hall with a feast and dancing and everyone’s kind of beautiful but strange. all the dragons are a little Weird and Off but in a way that can’t be placed. outsiders can be welcomed into the clan for a night of partying but if someone wants to stay with the court they have to beat the matriarch elia in a game. any ol game, as long as it’s fair. it can be anything from a board game to a coin toss to solving riddles etc etc... and everybody watches the game bc those moments are like the highlights of the night. thats the good shit. especially when the inquiring dragon loses and the whole crowd goes “ooooooooh”

ive been on and off thinking of making my recent splurge of abyss-ranged dragons a subset of the clan, like maybe shade-touched??? im not quite sure but i want them to all have won their way into the clan in the same way and they always stick together in groups and they’re always just sort of watching quietly and the rest of the clan is secretly creeped out because what the fuck are these guys planning, what is going on with them. idk i think they’d make good “villains” but im not sure exactly what they might try to do thats villainous because i imagine my clan as chaotic neutral first and foremost. they do what they want for a laugh and to keep things vaguely together, otherwise sod off. so really the most villanous thing i could think of for my alternate faction would be trying to depose the matriarch and i dont have any other plot ideas beyond that. idk this is just rambles

#post #lore thoughts

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findingfindingmyniche-blog · 5 years

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late night rambles

all those who are lost are welcome. I guess im an oddity in itself, nothing special. I have no notable talents. I cant sing, play music, make art or anything that would make me stand out. I am just existence. I like to think i can write but when i read other peoples work who claim to just do it for fun, i come up short yet again. I have never found the thing that i can really excel at, something that makes me stand apart from the crowd. Thats what has been holding me back all these years. My husband will say the same but i am in awe of how ingenuitive be can be. He is handy, smart, a great problem solver, his poetry can make you weep (the ones he wrote in his high school days lol), so many great qualities that i admire. Im sure there are things he admires about me because he wouldnt have married me if not, but i dont see them. I am passionate about my kid, but i get told im a helicopter mom, when im all im trying to do is figure shit out on my own without constantly being ridiculed that im doing it wrong. And possibly because i felt that my childhood wasnt the best so i try to take the mistakes i thought my parents made and not repeat history. whatever. Even before the “All i am is a mom” stage i am in now, i just never really belonged anywhere.I tried to hard to fit in as a kid that i never took the time to find my individuality. I was always tinkering with short stories and mom would shudder at the adult type of situations i would create in my head. Maybe i could be good at that. She gave me the old 95 family computer to have in my room that had no internet just paint and word pretty much, (sometimes i would play doom, only in GodMode though). I would write these 5 to 6 page stories on just anything that popped into my head. I would proudly print them out and make my mom or sisters or even my sisters friend read them and hope i could inspire some emotion out of them, sometimes i would. I read a lot in my early teen years. A lot of Nora Roberts and Nicholas sparks novels. It would inspire me to make a story but it seemed to always fall flat, as if i just took the plot from one of the books and twisted it into my own story. I mean isnt that what most novels are anyways, a certain type of drama or mystery. Im not even sure. The school told me all i needed to know, when i thought i was a good writer, I would get shut down with a slight above average grade. a B plus person for life. In college in excelled in English and got an A on every paper but to me its like ive been writing like this all my life, I went to State competition for history fair, just to get shut down once again. I have to admit though, it wasnt my best work and i knew it. Its almost like im the one holding myself back. afraid of a risk because every risk ive taken has kinda backfired, not all but the majority. Probably the best risk was going on a date with Justin when i knew no one else would get it, but there was something about him, like a force pulling me towards him that i couldnt ignore. It wasnt the firey passionate “i have to be with you every moment of my life” feeling like i felt with my ex even though i really dont like to admit it now. It just fit, like a puzzle piece that was missing, i feel whole. I tend to wander, if you havent noticed already, its hard to keep a train of thought when youve been struck with a need to just keep tying and in a sense word vomit till i feel relief. This is my me time. A time i couldnt really give a shit what anyone thinks or feels, its just me and a keyboard. Thank you Mom for my new laptop. its graceful typing, even though i have to get used to typing again. So much backspace used.... and i laugh at myself. The whiskey is helping. Lets wander agian since im thinking about exes. Justin and i always laugh at our exes, some were good, some were bad, some left a stain on our hearts that can never be wiped off. I think of my exes often, like a mental check in once in a while. They shaped me to who i was so i will never regret any of them, although i may regret my actions at the time. i regret hurting people, i regret not leaving sooner with others, Its like i still feel all of them. Like how they were when i was with them, i have no idea the people they are today because i dont ever talk to anyone i used to date. its too complicated when youre married, whats in the past should stay there. But i do often remember and worry how some are faring. i hear rumors and feel sad that they are not doing well, yes multiple people. Its not like i serial dated but there were about 5 or 6 significant guys who i think of often. Its a weird feeling. Knowing all those people i have encountered in my life, all of them led me to where i am today. I look at my little boy and he is just the most beautiful wonderful human being in my world. He is everything to me, and none of that could have happened without all that i have been through. I have been through hell and back a few times. I never thought id be where i am today, a mother, a wife. Happy. I am happy, because the past 3 years have been so hard and yet ive never counted my blessings more. I now look through the hard times and cling to my husband and son knowing the three of us can make it through anything. It seems i finally feel a peace now, my word vomit has concluded. Its makes absolutely no sense when i re-read it but who cares? no one is really listening right?

#late night rambles #notablogger #dontjudgeme #this makes no sense

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