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nevadas-night-time-novelist · 3 months

Note

Oh, speaking of those madcom x knocked up reader, I’ve been meaning to ask… Do you think you could do some with Chopper Dave, Q-Bert and Skinner? You don’t have to ofc just. Asking

Cant be any characters left surely @_@ xD

Dis gon be looooong, get a snack or two, and some water.

Knocked up [Chopper Dave, Q-Bert, Skinner]

CW: AFAB reader, gender neutral, pregnancy warning

Dave

You were lounging on Dave's bed, waiting for him to finish fetching his charge back, a strong grunt with powers unmatched by any. They were highly favoured by all in the building, and your boyfriend shared in that admiration.

Killing time by playing games on your tablet, awaiting your man to ambush him with the news. You'd missed a cycle, and decided to take a test, which sat in the bathroom bin wrapped in toiler paper, cross marked. Positive.

It's not like you'd been actively trying for a child, but you weren't being careful either, let nature take her course and that course was parenthood. The door slid open, and your lover stepped in, beaming when he saw you. "Ello love,"

He removed his hat, placing it on the coat rack before strolling over and giving you a sweet kiss. "hope you 'aven't been too bored waiting for me, pigeon." His love of the sky invaded everything in his life, even his pet names for you, always something to do with birds.

"Hi Davey." You greeted back, nuzzling into his palm. "No, I've been playing GruntCraft. Built some silly things in creative mode. You wanna see?" He took off his jacket, revealing his sweaty t shirt, when he was out of the sky, his jacket cooked him.

"Sure thing, hen." He sat next to you, his hand massaging your back instinctively, his love language being physical touch. His fingertips sent pleasant shivers up your spine.

You shifted your character around and showed off some of the builds, getting a laugh as you showed off your giant wool sheep, with actual sheep inside it's hollow body. "Davey, there's something important I need to tell you."

"Your sheep building skills are baaahhdass. I already know." Dave grinned at you, his suave British charm making your heart flutter. You rolled your eyes and kissed his cheek, he was a goofball and you loved that about him.

"Its important, Dave." He lifted his arm, and you cuddled close into him, his familiar scent calming you down, yet exciting you too. "We're gonna have a baby."

Confusion crossed his features. "You what bird?" His brows knitted together. "That's a daft joke."

"It's not a joke honey. You can check in the bathroom bin, there's a test in there. You and me, we're having a baby." Dave's eyes lit up and he covered your face in kisses, his stubble scratching up your chin.

"We're pregnant? Really? Oh pidge we're gonna have a little aviator! Ach, we can paint their room to look like the sky, hang little planes up, and and-"

"Easy tiger," You laughed, music to his ears. Just when he thought he couldn't possibly fall deeper in love with you, you were going to carry his child. "we've got months to prepare. Besides, what if he or she prefers boat?"

Dave let out a dramatic gasp. "Then they're no child of mine!" He snorted and chuckled, unable to keep his fake shock up for a mere moment.

News quickly spread about your immanent baby, Dave gushing to everyone about his wonderful partner and their soon to be physical form of love for each other.

Bossman seemed to zone out when he talked, nodding along with the occasional "Mmmhmm."

Q-Bert rolled his eyes anytime the subject was brought up. "Are ye actually gonna buy somethin' or are ye jus' gon' waste my time again?"

Skinner was amused, letting him talk freely as much as his heart desired. "It's very rare that babies are even conceived in all of Nevada, let alone one right in this base. I'm sure they'll be a wonderful boost to morale."

None of the chefs gave him the time of day, he wasn't there for guns, so they had no interest.

Doc seemed sceptical to begin with, but would sometimes offer his own advice, having had a hand in Deimos' birth, and raising the little ankle biter. "Best advice I can really offer? Sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't try and sleep regularly, you'll be on baby time until they settle."

The mysterious grunt who seemed to build up the SQ didn't speak to anyone most of the time, would silently listen to Dave going on about anything and everything. "Hey listen, if uh, y'see anything sweet out there, like candy or chocolate, would you mind bringing some back? Pregnancy cravings are a bitch when you don't got much to work with." And faithfully, they'd always end up with something you'd enjoy.

Evenings and nights were blissful for the most part, a snack in hand while Dave talked about his day, interesting things he saw while flying, or a brief rundown of whatever the leader was up to that day. He was always massaging your feet which ached thanks to the added weight, or your tummy so he could hopefully coax a kick out of his little one.

"Does it hurt? When they kick." He perked up one night, hand over your active baby's writhing.

"No, but it's weird. Nice, but weird. At least we know they're healthy." You smiled, and Dave rested his head on your stomach.

"Aye, want nothing more than to have a healthy mite."

"What about yours?"

"Ey?" You poked Dave's gut.

"Your baby, does it kick?"

His cheeks turned red. "Oi! Cheeky bird! Don't insult my love handles. I'll have you know I worked very hard to get this dad bod for you."

Sleeping together was nice, you'd sleep on your side, a pillow between your legs, since it was most comfortable, and Dave would have an arm around your belly, spooning you from behind, keeping you safe in his grasp.

He'd cut back slightly on his drinking, slowly but surely becoming less indulgent on intoxicants to have a good time, enjoying just living in the moment with you, working towards the future.

Decorating the new nursery was a lot of effort too, he'd always work up a sweat painting, decorating, building baby essentials, it helped slim down his figure a little, but he was still plenty squishable and lovable.

He still had a job to do, indebted to the silent boss of the building, always flying them back and forth even if he wanted to hang around the closer your expectant day came. Alas, he was out flying when the action kicked off.

Bossman luckily had been passing by when you called out for help, and he rushed off to get Skinner, who easily picked you up and carried you to his office with care. You cried out for Dave, but he was absent, and Bossman was constantly pacing, calling him over the radio constantly.

"Don't worry, even if Dave isn't here, you're in safe hands." Skinner reassured you, wiping your forehead with a damp cloth.

"Why did he have to go out today?" You sobbed, this was scary, you had to face this alone, and he promised he'd be here for you. But he wasn't. "I hate him!"

Skinner nodded to his nurse, who took over caring for you while be busied himself at your other end. "You don't hate him, you're just upset he's not here." The nurse was kind, he was doing his best to soothe you. "I'm sure he's on his way as soon as possible."

Hours later, the door slid open, and Dave came running in. "PIGEON!" He yelled, running to your side. "I'm so sorry, boss wanted a lift to the otherside of Nevada and I-I I'm sorry!" He was crying, clearly upset about not being here the whole time.

"You're here now at least." You took Dave's hand. "You're here for the worst of it." He didn't leave your side, even as you crushed his hand. Eventually, you successfully delivered a baby girl, which Dave had insisted on naming Ava.

Q-Bert

You and Q-Bert weren't dating, more of a situationship. Both had urges, and could help each other out, and that worked fine. Until it didn't.

He was at his usual post, chewing tobacco behind his shop, legs crossed and propped on his desk, arms folded behind his head. You stepped up to his space, and he lifted his head, shadows cast over his eyes.

"Alright lovely?" Bert greeted you with a grin, his brown stained teeth coated in fresh poison. His accent was intoxicating, everything about him was. From a foreign land, with a strange voice and weird customs, like .... Haggis.

"Hope you've brought your wallet, 'coz I ain't able to scratch yer itches right now, as nice as the break would be. Mmmhh, actually, scratch that. Maybe if yer wantin' somethin' quick."

"Not right now, Bert. There's uh, a slight issue with our... thing." You felt flustered, even when he was being a perverted bastard, it was still charming. Bert spat his chew into the bin to his left and sighed.

"Yer callin' it off? Guess I should'a seen it comin'." His lip stuck out, he'd have to find someone else to bunk with now, which was gonna suck. But of course a pretty thing like you would move on and find someone willing to commit with them. He knew he couldn't, and he'd told you that. Commitment issues, never one to settle down.

"No, hear me out Bert." Rip off the bandaid. "I'm pregnant, and you're the father." That made him freeze up.

"Ye... yer sure about that?" You nodded to him, throwing your positive test onto his desk. "...'Ow do I know it's my wee bairn?"

He was starting to get under your skin. "You think I've been getting cosy with the other guys? Really? You think that I'm like that?"

Q-Bert got to his feet, raising his hands. "Nay 'course not. I just.. Shit.. Look I've had a few flames who pulled a stunt like this, they were lying just tae get tae me money."

"I don't give a fuck about the money!" You snapped at him. "I thought you knew that." Turning you back to him, you heaved out a sigh. "Look, I can do this myself if you don't want a part in it. Bossman, Skinner and Doc will be more than happy to help." As you began to head back to your room, arms wrapped around your middle.

"Nae, don' go. I'm sorry. A've been fucked over a lot in life, orite? Gettin' close to people ain't really been ma thing. But you, fuck, a've let a few of me walls down fer you. I canne promise you commitment, that's a big ask and I canne agree, but I'll do everything I can to keep you an' our wee bairn in good hands."

As previously stated, Bert isn't a good support system, unless you directly tell him what you need. He doesn't take hints well, but you can tell he's trying his best. "Ye look like ye could use a drink."

"I can't drink while pregnant, remember?"

"Oh.. right yeh." Bert would visit your quarters more often, bringing snacks he'd gotten in exchange for a few favours. His profits were biting a little, but a few bullets in exchange for your favourite candy was a worthy sacrifice. "Look, I got some of yer favourite crisps."

You graciously accepted his offerings, feeling like a dragon atop a snack hoard while your knight added to your pile.

Even when he was behind the desk, he'd have time for you. You could have the comfiest chair in his little room, or if he was laying back and lounging, you could cuddle into him, he'd rub your aching back and hips. Even as you got heavier, he didn't complain too much, just adjusting himself slightly to deal with the baby weight.

Sometimes he'd invite you back to his room to sleep next to him, missing the company. Despite saying he'd probably find someone else to share his time with, he didn't.

Other times you'd fall asleep alone in your bed, and wake up to his arms around you, his face buried into your back, hair, or shoulder. The distance between you and him made his heart ache, as much as he hated to admit it. He'd grown too fond of you, and he felt insecure, worried that something would ruin this piece of happiness he'd come to enjoy.

But... the pain never came.

With you, god with you he felt secure. He felt safe. And for the first time, in a long, long time, he felt genuinely happy. Of course you were different, you were carrying his baby for christ-sake. You'd sheltered and protected him, loved him like no other, and he finally opened his eyes to the fact.

One night you were laying in bed, and he entered, expecting you to be asleep as usual as he settled next to you. "Och..." His hand grazed your arm, softly and sweetly. "I love you so much." His stubble scratched your cheek as he kissed it.

"I love you too Bert." You mumbled tiredly, and he froze.

"Yer... awake?" You let out a noise of confirmation, and his face turned beet red, but it was thankfully masked by the darkness. "I.. dunno what tae say."

"Nothing, I'm tired and want to sleep, we can talk about it tomorrow, okay?" You carefully rolled over, facing him, seeing his expression soften in the dim light of the room.

"Alright love," He leaned in, kissing you tenderly, a hint of minty mouthwash on his lips.

It was another day in his office, lounging on him while he stroked your hair, chewing his tobacco and humming away when something ran down your legs. "Did ye just piss on me?" Q-Bert looked mortified. "If ye needed tae go ye shoulda said!"

"No, that's... You need to go get Skinner." The walk around the base would've been too much for your tired legs, so it was easier, and safer, to have the big doc carry you around.

Skinner suggested an epidural, which you decided to take. It hurt like hell to start with, but he swore it would make delivery easier for you. After hours and hours of body straining work, the G3 proudly announced. "It's a boy! And a chubby one too! Look at his fat little face!"

You looked at Bert, face sweaty and flush. "Magnum it is then." He'd asked you if you'd consider naming the child after a gun, which ... was weird but hey, why not.

Laying with a now settled newborn in your arms, Bert leaning over the bed to rub his cheek softly. "I'm gonna need tae get a beby holster."

Skinner

It started a few months ago, your favourite doctor snuggling you into the crook of his arm as you prepared to sleep, him absentmindedly scrolling down his social feed until something caught his interest.

"Hmm.. Seems an old friend of mine birthed a child recently." You were nearly in dreamland, his sudden voice waking you up slightly.

"Really? Interesting." You yawned, not out of disinterest, but pure exhaustion.

"What's even more intriguing is the fact she's a G3, like me. And her partner is just a normal grunt. It would seem my kind is capable of producing offspring after all. Curious." Sitting up slightly, you glanced at his screen, seeing a proud looking G3 with a baby in her arms, her partner equally as delighted with their little hybrid baby.

By all accounts, it was just like any other baby grunt, tiny enough in size, the only large feature from their mother they currently possessed were the thick, long eyelashes. "Drs. Eleanor Porter and Malicious Magnificent welcome their newest family member.. Proving once again life overcomes all in Eden.

Porter and I used to study together, both preferring to aid the hurt instead of shed blood like our other G3s. I'm glad she's doing well." Skinner's eyes lingered on the child, the beaming smiles on the tiny family's faces.

"Do.. you want a baby?" He looked at you, his smile carved permanently into his features. To some, G3s were Frankenstein monsters, to others their defining features made them more beautiful.

His massive hand cupped your cheek, eyes softening. "With you? Of course. I could think of nothing greater than being the one who gets to create a life with you."

"C'mere beautiful," You held his face in your hands too, giving him a loving kiss on his teeth. "you're gonna be the best dad."

Skinner set his tablet down, getting comfortable next to you. "We're going to have to closely monitor your heat cycles, picking out the best time to....Procreate." He was incredibly embarrassed about it, being posh and prudish was by default built into G3s.

A few months of trying and you could now share the happy news. "Hey smiles," You wandered into medbay, seeing him rummaging around in his new supplies.

"Hello dear!" He set the box down, coming over to greet you with a hug and a kiss, his usual greeting to you. "I got some new bits from our friends, something you might like!" He took your hand and guided you over, pulling out prenatal vitamins. "It took a while to find these, but I managed to strike a deal with an Employer, and she helped me out."

"An Employer? Honey, are you sure you know what you're getting into? They're... Not the best people." You wondered what this had cost him.

"This one is! Dreamer is a compassionate one, I told her about our dreams and she offered to help."

You knew vaguely of the Dreamer, the sandman of Nevada, one who walks in dreams. "No strings attached?"

"None! She's very nice, if you make the effort to seek her out. But it is a lot of effort, let me tell you that."

You got on your tiptoes and kissed Skinner. "Okay, I trust you. I guess I should start taking these now, right?"

"Hmm? Oooh!" Skinner looked excited. "Are you-?"

"Yes!" He picked you up in his arms and spun you around, his face glowing with pride.

"We're having a baby!!" He stopped spinning and nuzzled his face into your neck. "Oh, boy, girl? Both? There's so much to cover! At least I get to do this with you, my other half, my better half. You're in good medical hands, only the very best for my sweet partner."

Being with him was a breeze, everyone loved the medic and his partner, and would lend a hand at any chance to either of you. Bossman agreed to paint the nursery, going with a yellow theme since it's a rare colour out in the world, and it's gender neutral. Plus he has a box of rubber ducks he can use for more decor

A few old crates from Q-Bert with a little TLC made a stable crib, stuffed with anything soft the team could find, from pillows, to blankets, to stuffed toys. This baby was going to have the whole base lending a hand to raise it, a sense of community and duty falling on everyone.

Skinner made sure to get you into his office routinely, checking up on both you and baby, quivering with excitement every time. "I think it's about time we can use the ultrasound machine to have a good look at our little one!" He was an excited puppy, eagerly patting the medical bed while pulling the machine over.

"This will be cold, fair warning." Your stomach chilled as he carefully applied the gel, and the two of you looked to the screen as he guided the device over your womb, catching sight of a little figure wriggling around inside.

"Oh my, so tiny." You smiled sweetly, seeing the budding life inside of you for the first time. "Half of you, half of me, all perfect." Skinner put the device down and kissed you tenderly.

"All the perfection comes from you, my dearest." You interlaced your fingers with his, his massive hands making yours look tiny by comparison.

"Nope, you're a perfect man, you were built to be perfect." You kissed him back, giggling slightly as his eyes widened before closing, he leaned into you and let out a content sigh.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Skinner's eyes were half lidded, he was maddeningly in love.

"A few times, here and there." You joked, this man told you daily of his affections, how you were absolutely everything to him.

Months flew by, your expected date drawing closer and closer, all while doted on your massive man. There was nothing in this world he wouldn't do, foot rubs, pregnancy cravings, massages, holding your hair as your body went through morning sickness. Sweet butterfly kisses on your belly, music to help stimulate your daughter, time spent cuddling up and talking to the little one... Who was getting rather big.

"I think she's growing a bit too much, don't you?" You looked mildly concerned at your latest ultrasound, and down to your stomach. "What if she's getting your genes? How am I gonna deliver a massive baby?"

"Well... I suppose. She is sizeable, I could induce you, she's a little early for sure, but we have the means to support her if she is." Skinner tapped his chin. "Entirely depends on what you think is best for you two.

I could also perform a C-section, which would negate the need for a natural delivery with such a huge baby. That would put you out of action for at least six weeks however. It's quite a burden on your body. But equally, I suppose the natural route could do that too."

"I think... Induction would be easiest. Do you think we could maybe.. do it sooner rather than later? Like... Today? I'm just worried if she gets any bigger, it's really going to do a lot of damage to my body."

"T-today? I'll have to call my nurse in, but yes, I could do, if that's what you want." Skinner kissed your cheek. "I promise you dear, I'm going to do everything to make this easy for you."

Skinner made sure you were well medicated though an epidural, he was careful and considerate, as he promised he would be. Delivery was slow, making you weak and exhausted, but eventually, your baby girl was welcomed to the world.

As expected, she was a large baby, tiny claws at the end of her fingers, a tuft of grey hair already forming on her head, she had a set of lungs on her, wailing out for the base to hear.

A darkness came from the corner, an Employer taking shape, had you not been so numb and sore, you'd have freaked out. Purple eyes full of stars formed, and a soothing voice rolled out. "You've done well, I'm proud of you." She was ethereal, almost made of smoke, body gliding over the tile floor.

Carefully Dreamer laid a hand over your forehead, and at once you felt relief and relaxed. "I figured it only right to visit my gift to you, life is truly precious, especially at such a tender time" She turned to Skinner. "Take care of them, I know it doesn't need saying to you, but, all the same." And she was gone.

In that time, your baby had stopped crying, still in her father's arms, swaddled safely in a purple star covered blanket, and he handed her to you. "She's happy, she's healthy, she's absolutely everything I'd hoped for. My darling, there's nothing else in this world I could ask for."

"How about... we call her Celestial?" You smiled with tired eyes and Skinner kissed you.

"Blessed by the dream-weaver, I see no other name befitting of such a wonderful infant, gifted by the stars above." And baby Celeste was truly a blessing.

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photorose11 · 4 years

Text

Stydia Fic: My Anchor

SURPRISE. Before I begin typing Chapter four of ‘An Ubreakable Bond’ I decided to finish my Styda fic. I almost forgot about it. So here it is! It’s weird, I wrote the first half years ago, I don’t even remember. But I’m glad I finished it. (For the record I guess this seems anti Malia. I don’t hate Malia, but having her not liked in this just made sense.) I kind of like in the end she got with Scott, but I LOVED Scott with Kira. They fit together so well. Anyway, I’m done rambling. I did add the lyrics to “Unconditional’ by Freya Ridings to this fic BECAUSE ITS PERFECT. She is my favorite singer right now.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Teen Wolf. (damn)

----

My Anchor

Lydia Martin never expected it to hurt this much, she'd never even really thought much on the subject.. of Stiles finding someone, being with someone. She knew when he had a little thing for that girl Caitlin he met at Danny's rave party; but then Malia came along and everything changed. It was hard enough losing Allison and Aiden, but now she felt like she lost Stiles too. Stiles was still here though, living. Lydia was more then grateful for that; but she missed him. Since after everything happened, Scott started helping Mailia make the switch from werecoyote to human which meant Malia always saw Stiles because Stiles was usually hanging with Scott. Lydia and Stiles hadn't seen each other much since after everything happened. She now knew it was because of Malia.

Lydia watches from a far as Malia leans on her tip toes to give Stiles a kiss by his locker. He's carrying her books and Lydia watches him put an arm around her before they start walking away down the hall. Soon she loses them in the crowd of students and Lydia shuts her locker door shut with a slam. She notices someone jump near her and sees it's just Kira. Lydia gives her a smile before noticing Scott walking towards them.

"Sorry I scared you." Lydia sighs, she moves her stack of books to her other arm before Scott comes up to them and gives Kira and cute kiss on the cheek. Scott looks up at Lydia, who's now gazing down the hall with sad eyes.

"You okay, Lydia?" Scott asks gently. He watches her blink a few times before turning her head to look at him and Kira. She gives a tight smile before nodding.

"Have you seen Stiles?" Lydia should've expected his name to come up, but the surprise of it makes her flinch. Lydia gives a nod before looking away.

"He went down the hall." Lydia points in the direction and Scott quickly says goodbye and gives Kira a quick kiss before disappearing in the crowded hallway. Lydia watches Kira glance at her before quickly looking away.

"I can't." Lydia says silently, but knowing Kira would hear her. Her and the girl had become closer since after losing Allison and Aiden. Kira was pretty new to her new powers that came with the thunder kitsune; and Lydia was just starting to begin to learn more about her banshee powers. Some nights Kira would come over and they'd look up anything they could on fox kitsunes and Banshee's; Lydia liked those nights. She missed having a girl around, and she knew she missed Allison more then anything but Lydia liked to think Allison would be proud of her for befriending Kira. Lydia feels Kira put a hand on her shoulder before nodding in understanding.

"I know, it's okay. Everything will work out how it's meant to." Lydia nods before smiling at the girl and they silently begin walking down the hall to the last class of the day.

--------

She should have known this would happen. The strawberry blonde gives a large sigh before taking the new dress out of the bag and trying it on. It was dark red, strapless and went down to her knees. She runs her fingers over the material before looking in the mirror. She likes it. She's glad Kira agreed to go shopping with her so they could get dresses for Junior Prom.

Prom.

Lydia always imagined herself going to Prom, winning Prom Queen while Jackson won Prom King. But Jackson was now long gone in another country, and Lydia was now a banshee, one of her best friends was a werewolf, her other best friend a thunder Kitsune. The guy she discovered she had feelings for, the guy who used to be in love with her; was now at his place getting ready to go to the Prom with Malia. The thought of it made Lydia sick to her stomach. She wasn't exactly sure how she'd feel when she saw Stiles there with Malia, but she knew it wouldn't be a good feeling. Her heart already constantly hurt. She just hoped she'd be able to keep her emotions under control.

Grabbing her black purse, she quickly grabs the light blue flower she laid out on her dresser and pins it to the top of her dress. She smiles, before putting her favorite pair of heels on. Lydia strides out of her bedroom door and down the stairs. She tries not to think of anything on the way there; just that Allison would want her to go. She gently touches the blue flower pin on her dress. She ignores the cry in her throat.

-------

Pulling up into the parking lot, Lydia quickly finds a spot and gets out; clutching her purse and after checking her make up and hair one more time; she walks to the front of the gym and enters. She quickly spots Kira and Scott in the mix of people, and ignoring the loud music she walks over to them; grateful that she hasn't spotted Stiles or Malia yet. Kira waves at her before quickly giving her a hug. Lydia hugs back before pulling away and admiring Kira's beautiful blue dress. She gives Scott a smile and he smiles back but that smile fades after he looks at his phone. Lydia watches him with curious eyes and he glances up with a frown on his face.

"Have you heard from Stiles lately?" he asks her, quickly pocketing his phone. Lydia's heart speeds up at the sound of his name.

"No.. we haven't talked in awhile.. he's been busy with Malia." Lydia looks down at the floor before feeling a hand on her arm; she knows it's Scott without looking up.

"I know. But I think you should talk to him."

Lydia tries to ignore Scott's words but she can't. She knows Scott is right and she should try talking to him, but she can't imagine Stiles wanting to talk to her anymore when he now has Malia.. Lydia couldn't stand how jealous she was of that girl. It was ridiculous. He didn't wanna talk to her, he hadn't tried to in weeks.

"I know you think he doesn't wanna talk to you, but he does. He needs you, Lydia." hearing his words, Lydia snaps her head up and gives Scott a look that'd send anyone running in the other direction.

"He doesn't NEED me, Scott! He has Malia, he's happy. He hasn't tried talking to me in weeks. If he needed me, he'd still try." Lydia trails off before looking back down at the ground, and wishing she had thought to bring some of her parents liquor with her. Maybe then she wouldn't be thinking of everything and how Stiles and Malia would probably be walking through the entrance any minute now. Lydia kind of felt bad for yelling at Scott but he didn't understand. He didn't know.

"You really love him, don't you?" Lydia didn't expect to hear those words, let alone from Kira. Lydia's eyes widen and she looks around, noticing an empty table a few feet away and walks over; taking the closest seat.

Kira and Scott sit down next to her. She knows they're waiting for an answer, but really; what could she say? That she finally realized how much she cared for Stiles and all of a sudden Malia shows up and she's his everything? Lydia remembers when she was everything to Stiles. She can't stand to remember how she used to treat him years ago. Who would have thought she'd fall for Stiles Stilinski? Lydia covers her face with her hands and takes a deep breath before looking up at Kira and Scott.

"Is it that obvious?" Lydia whispers loud enough for them to hear. Kira gives a small smile before nodding, Lydia almost laughs when she sees the dramatic look on Scott's face. He suddenly jumps out of his seat and for a moment Lydia thinks he's angry.. but then he's laughing and Lydia sees the huge smile on his face.

"I fucking knew it! When Lydia?" Lydia smiles at him and laughs before looking down and trying to hide her blush. She messes with her purse before speaking.

"I'm not sure.. after the sacrifices I think.. when I had to hold him under.. and then we were connected. We were each other's anchors. We started hanging out and then after Allison and Aiden died.. Malia just shows up and all of a sudden everything is different between us." At this point, Lydia is so close to tears but then Scott kneels down to look at her.

"Hey, it's okay. He still loves you, you know. I don't think he loves Malia. I think he loves that someone is romantically interested in him." Lydia nods her head, Scott's words seem true enough but Lydia can't help how much her heart is aching. It only gets worse when she sees the gym doors open and in comes Stiles, Malia attached to his arm. She's smiling up at him, and he gives her a smile back before kissing her. Lydia looks away with teary eyes, she feels a hand in hers and sees Kira giving her a worried look.

"Bathroom?" Kira asks her gently, Lydia nods without a second thought. Kira tells Scott that they'll be right back and he nods before saying he's gonna see Stiles and Malia. Both the girls nod; before walking to the bathroom. Lydia struts in, any girls that were in there immediately retreating out after seeing the enraged expression on Lydia Martin's face. Kira stands by the door after shutting it and she watches as Lydia puts her black clutch purse on the counter before looking in the mirror. She notices her eyes are red from the unshed tears and it only makes her angrier.

"Why is this even happening? He's with her, why does that have to bother me so much?" Lydia's words echo throughout the bathroom, and she feels her eyes water more after grabbing some toiler paper and wiping at her eyes. Kira watches with sad eyes, unsure of what there was for her to do to help her friend that was clearly upset. She walks over the Lydia and watches as the strawberry blonde reapplies her eyeliner and mascara.

"I think you should talk to him. He's with Malia, but you two have a history together. I highly doubt she's more important to him then you. He only just met her." Lydia listens to her friends words.

She knows Kira is right, and deep down she wants to talk to Stiles but she knows it won't be easy, let alone to get him alone to talk to. Lydia looks over at Kira and gives her a nod. She'd try her best to talk to Stiles tonight. She was Lydia Martin; and she knew her and Stiles still had that connection. She was his tether after all. Lydia puts her make up back in her bag and with her head held high and her tears gone, she follows Kira out of the bathroom and back onto the dance floor. She sees Scott over by the punch bowl; and before she can look away she spots Stiles and Malia dancing across the room.

Lydia can’t put a finger on it but something seems out of place with them. In that moment, she realizes Stiles is scanning the gym like he is looking for someone. Her heart skips a beat. He’s not..

Before she can finish her thought she notices Malia is no longer near Stiles. She scans the room and notices the werecoyote about fifteen feet away talking to someone. Lydia notices he’s a senior that she has an advanced class with, his name is Nathan. Lydia can’t help but wonder how Malia would know him. The only reason Lydia knew of him was because of the advanced class, she knew for a fact that Malia was not in any advanced classes. She finds it oddly suspicious what’s happening here, considering Malia now has a hand on this young mans arm looking at him in a way she definitely should not be looking at anyone when she has a boyfriend. Who happens to be Stiles, who she deeply cares about. Before Lydia can think any more, she is silently seething. This bitch.

She didn’t think she could get any more pissed, until she notices Nathan put a hand on her waist which was slowly moving down..

‘what is he.. what in the HELL?’ The banshee’s eyes widen at the sight, which is completely ridiculous. Who does Malia think she is betraying Stiles like this? And where every single person can clearly see her doing it?

Lydia continues to look on, her fists tightly clenched at her sides. She slightly jumps when Scott almost tumbles into her, due to tripping over his own two feet in his haste to et to her.

“You’re seeing this too, right?” Scott asks in almost an angry whisper. Lydia turns her head to look at Scott, who’s still looking at the outrageous scene. She notices his eyes are starting to go red, Lydia’s eyes widen before unclutching her hands and laying a hand on Scott’s shoulder.

“Scott, your eyes are glowing.” She whispers to him. Scott gives her a look of shock before he closes his eyes, taking deep breathes. When he opens his eyes again, they are back to their normal color and he gives her a look that says ‘Thank you’. She smiles at him, before they both look back at the scene. Malia is all over Nathan, who is very obviously loving every second of it. Lydia swears she can hear Scott lowly growling.

“Um… what the hell is Malia doing?” Kira says from Lydia’s other side. “Making a huge mistake.” Scott says in a way that would make anyone flinch. The alpha was seething. “Malia looks like she’s about to have him for dinner or something.”Lydia snorts at Kira’s comment, which was oddly hilarious and probably entirely accurate at this point.

“Where’s Stiles..? Scott, I hate to say this but you need to tell him what’s happening. People are definitely noticing.” The banshee’s heart dropped, knowing Stiles will be absolutely heart broken when he sees this.

“Shit. Too late.” Lydia sees Scott grimace, before turning her eyes back to the scene. She notices Stiles about ten feet behind Malia and Nathan, eyes wide and beyond furious. He storms up then, and before anyone can blink he grabs Nathan’s hand off of her lower back. Malia whips her head back, glaring at Stiles. If anyone had been looking too closely at her they would notice her eyes shine blue for half a second. Scott catching the glimpse of bight blue in her eyes, begins to move but Lydia is faster.

“Okay, we need to act NOW."

Lydia is already on the move before Scott is even finished with his sentence. He quickly gives Kira a concerned look before they follow behind the very pissed off strawberry blonde. Once they reach their destination, they stand on either side of Lydia. Malia gives an annoyed look. Scott notices Stiles still has hold of Nathans right hand, having it held behind Nathans back in a way that had to hurt.

“Do you have a thing for touching another mans girlfriend?” Nathan’s eyes widen, turning his head to look at Stiles.

“Whoa dude, no. She told me you guys had broken up! I would never lay a hand on someone else’s girl!” Stile’s eyes widen at the other mans words. He gently lets go of Nathan’s arm, and with a quick “I’m sorry” Nathan walks off, clearly wanting to be away from the scene unfolding. His eyes meet Malia’s who’s looking at him, uncaring.

“Really Malia?” He asks her disappointingly. Malia looks away, still not looking like she cares that she just broke someone’s heart. Lydia looks at him, sees the looks in his eyes. Surprisingly, he doesn’t look at all surprised that Malia has done this to him. He takes a step closer to her.

“It’s over. We are done. And frankly, I don’t give a shit if you stay part of the pack, but if you do do not ever think I will for even one second give a shit what you do from this moment on.” He says in a way, that makes Lydia flinch. She had not heard Stiles be this angry in a long time.

Malia rolls her eyes at him an almost smile on her face , and something in Lydia snaps. Before she realizes what she’s doing, she takes the few steps she needs to to to be right in front of Malia. She puts up one manicured finger to the girls chest, pushing her back into the gym wall. Malia’s eyes flash blue before she gives a snarl at the banshee. Lydia notices, but doesn’t care at this point. She is beyond livid.

How dare Malia betray Stiles like this. Stiles, who’s only ever tried to help everyone. Stiles, who helped the werecoyote without a second thought because he felt it was the right thing to do. Stiles, who deserved everything good in life. And the foul person in front of Lydia was not anything good.

Stiles stills at the scene in front of him before taking a step towards the two girls, Scott puts an arm out to stop him, giving him a look to back down. Lydia knows what she’s doing. Scott can’t say he’s surprised at what he’s seeing though. Lydia sticks up for her pack, no matter what.

“Listen here sweetheart, and listen good.” Lydia starts off saying while leaning in, glaring at the werecoyote in front of her. Malia had a smirk on her face, clearly not effected.

“You are going to realize at some point that you majorly fucked up betraying him like this. I am going to advise you to leave this gym in the next sixty seconds, and you better hope I never see you look at him like that or hurt him again-” Lydia’s glare deepens and her pack around her notices the change in the air instantly, like Lydia was getting ready to do something powerful. Lydia lifts her finger up more towards the girls neck, pressing her nail down into the girls skin before continuing.

“or I swear I will banshee scream so damn loud your head will explode.” At those words spoken, Malia’s eyes widen before she gives another snarl. Lydia removes her finger from the girls neckline, and points to the exit.

“Leave. NOW.” Malia gives one more heated look before marching towards the exit, throwing the door open and storming out. Lydia gives an angry sigh before turning around, instantly noticing half of the students in the gym looking at her and her pack. She knows they couldn’t hear what she told Malia, they all looked curious. She noticed Scott had a small smile on his face, obviously proud of one of his closest friends sticking up for his best friend. Kira had a shocked look on her face, she had never seen Lydia become that furious before. Stiles was completely still, a look of surprise and wonder on his face while looking at the banshee in front of them.

“Could you really make her head explode?” Kira whispered, eyes widened; having trouble getting that imagine out of her head. She shuttered. Lydia gave her a fierce proud look before replying.

“Yes.”

Before Lydia could say anything else, Stile took a step towards her, a look of clear affection on his face.

“Aside from that being fucking awesome.." he starts off saying, reaching a hand out to her.

"Thank you, Lydia. I..” Before he could finish, Lydia put a finger to his lips, shaking her head. He didn’t need to say anything, or even thank her. That is what friends do for one another. Even if they hadn’t hung out or really spoken In the last few months. Lydia knows anyone else would probably be mad at him. Her best friend did die only a few months ago, right when she needed Stiles the most he was off being with Malia. Lydia had felt forgotten. It made her realize there was no way he stilled loved her. If he did, things would have been different. Lydia had been trying to accept that, even though it hurt like a bitch.

Stiles was grateful for his friends, beyond grateful. Watching Lydia walk up to Malia with that fierce heated look in her eyes, telling the werecoyote if she fucked up again; she’d end up dead… that was definitely something. Before Stiles could think further, he removed Lydia’s finger from his lips and took the last step he needed to be able to wrap his arms around her in a hug. He laid his chin on the top of her head, holding her close.

“I have to say this, Lyds. I’m sorry, for everything the last few months. I haven’t been a good friend at all, I can see that now. It was wrong of me to be how I’ve been, all because of that bitch.” Lydia’s heart sped up at his words, felt tears form in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling his heart beat from where her head was on his chest. Scott and Kira watched on in silence, happy to see their friends reunited.

"Things are going to be different now, I promise you Lyds. I know I can't make up not being there after.." he trails off, before slowly pulling away from her. Lydia see's his eyes grow sad, sees his jaw lock and notices he is trying very hard to keep his emotions in check.

"I forgive you." the banshee states, without a second thought. Stiles looks at her in shock, not quite understanding what she just said.

"How can you forgive me so easily?" he asks softly, she can hear the pain in his voice. This is hurting him, she doesn't want him to feel guilty for the last few months. Their eyes meet, and he understands.

“Because you're my anchor, remember?" he's holding her at arms length until he hears her speak those words, and he envelops her in another hug. He gives a shaky sigh, trying to hold the tears at bay.

"I never forgot." he sighs, as he strokes her hair. They hold on to each other for a moment longer before he looks over her shoulder and see's Kira and Scott still standing there, huge grins on both of their faces. Stiles raises an eyebrow at them, confused by the goofy looks on their faces.

Scott begins to mouth something to him and pointing at Lydia frantically. Stiles furrows his eyebrows, beyond confused at this point. Until he realized Scott is mouthing "Tell her" to him. He can't be surprised that his best friend knows he still loves the strawberry blonde. But does she love him like that? Stiles honestly didn't know. Did he want to risk messing up their amazing friendship to find out? Before he can think further about it, Stiles lifts up one of his arms motioning for his other two friends to come near.

"Come on pack, group hug. Get in here." he says enthusiastly, Lydia laughs into his shoulder before she feels Kira's arms around her and there's Scotts too. They had been through hell in the last year. There were points where Lydia didn't know if she would make it through. But she did. Thanks to her pack. She missed Allison, so much at times that it broke her heart all over again. But then she would open her eyes again, and see her pack standing there. She would see Stiles, and she knew no matter what that they would make it through anything.

After a long moment the group hug ended. Scott patted Stiles on the back, a grin on his face.

"You going to be okay, buddy?" his best friend asked him. Stiles gave him a soft look, before looking over to Lydia.

"Yeah, I'm going to be okay now." Lydia met his eyes and gave him a smile. This is not how she expected the night to go. But as long as Stiles was okay, she wasn't complaining. Before she could say anything, Scott and Kira said they were going to go dance leaving Stiles and Lydia by themselves.

"Sit down at a table, I'm going to get us some drinks." Lydia stated, before grabbing his hand and sqeuzzing gently before letting go.

"Lyds you don't ha-"

"Not a word." she said, pointing a finger at him. He gave her a shocked look, before she slowly grinned at him. He grinned back and with that he went to sit at an empty table while she got them some punch. She found him pretty easily in a corner by himself watching Kira and Scott dance. He took the seat next to him and handed him his punch. He smiled gratefully at her. He watched her sip at her drink before making a very comical face that was almost like a cringe. He tried not to laugh, but couldn't contain it. She gave him a look with a sheepish grin before setting her drink on the table.

"Someone definitely spiked the punch." Is all the banshee said before laughing as well. They share a moment of comfortable silence after that; before Stile's lifts his cup up.

"Let's toast."

She gives him a look before wrapping her hand around her cup and lifting it.

"To the pack." She said simply, staring at him.

"To family." He says at the same time. They grin at each other.

"Same thing, really." she states, laughing softly. She looks at him and sees a nervous look in his eyes. Was he okay?

"To all of them." he says firmly, trying not to let his emotion break through. She caught his eyes, and she felt her heart skip a beat. She knew what he was trying to say. With her other unoccupied hand, she laid it on his knee before nodding.

They clinked their cups together and downed their drinks in one go. Lydia laid her cup softly back on the table, now empty. Stiles slammed his on the table before coughing dramtically. She couldn't help but cover her mouth with her hand and laugh. He gave her an embarressed look, before realizing her hand was still on his knee. He tried to play it cool, but came off as nervous which the banshee noticed.

She heard a new song start to play in the gym, it was a slower song. The first one of the night. She took this as her chance to get out of an awkward situation. She stood up quickly, before reaching her hand out to him.

"Would you like to dance with me?" he raises a curious eyebrow at her, before smiling up at her. What was she doing?

"This feels oddly faimiliar." He says in a teasing tone. She rolls her eyes, trying not to blush. She remembers that moment in time well. It was the first time she truly noticed Stiles for who he was. The first time in a long time anyone had broken through her fake facade and seen who she truly was. It's a moment in time that left her feeling incredibly vulnerable. But it was also the moment she realized she trusted Stiles with her whole being.

"Stilinski, get off your cute little ass and dance with me. Now."

Stiles raises both his eyebrows, and can't help but break out in a smile. This was the Lydia he knew. He had missed her. He gently takes her hand and stands up. They walk to the center of the gym surrounded by other couples slow dancing to the music.

'Stay with me, darling Stay with me, darling Let us lose ourselves in the moonlight Lose ourselves As we find'

She stands in front of him before putting her hands on his shoulders as he hesitantly puts his on her waist. She looks up at him, noticing how nervous he seems. She points it out.

"You seem as nervous as the last time we did this." she says teasingly, she notices a blush creeping up his cheeks. she decides to try to make him more comfortable.

"You know the last time we did this, that was the moment I realized I trusted you." she says sincerely, giving him a soft smile. He gives her a shocked look before relaxing, although he looked confused by her words. She listens to the lyrics of the music before explaining.

That there's nothing I could say That would make you go away No danger I was in And you wouldn't step in my way I'm not alone anymore This love's unconditional'

"When you told me you had crush on me since the third grade." she starts off saying, he almost stops swaying to the music with her, he is surprised by her words. She has been extremely surprising tonight. She pauses for a moment, getting lost in the music.

Sway with me, darling Just sway with me, darling Let us lose ourselves in the moment Lose ourselves As we both find'

"I believe you also said something along the lines of, and I quote "And I know that somewhere inside that cold, lifeless exterior, there's an actual human soul." he stiffens at her words. Confused as to why she's saying this, is she mad? She doesn't look it. She actually has a smile on her face. She continues, as he tries to wrap his head around what's happening.

"And I'm also pretty sure that I'm the only one who knows how smart you really are. And that once you're done pretending to be a nitwit, you'll eventually go off and write some insane mathematical theorem that wins you the Nobel Prize." She finishes, giving him a teasing smile. They are silent for a moment, as they continue slow dancing to the song.

'That there's nothing you could say That would make me go away No danger you are in And I wouldn't step in the way You're not alone anymore 'Cause this love's unconditional'

"You remembered every word I said?" he asks her softly. She smiles and leans her head down to rest on his chest for a moment.

"Ofcourse I did. " she said, looking up at him again. There was something in her eyes that made his breath hitch.

"Sitles, that was the first time someone actually saw me for who I really am. We weren't even technically friends yet by that time, but you were there for me and you never gave up on me. How could I forget a moment so important?" she asks him softly while gazing up at him. Stiles is seeing a lot of emotion in her eyes, some familiar and some not. He decides to speak.

"And then you said "Nobel doesn't have a prize for mathematics. The Fields Medal's the one I'll be winning." he quotes her words from back then, and she laughs before taking one of her hands and playful hitting his chest.

"See! You remember too!" She states, laughter in her voice. They smile at one another, he holds her a little tighter as she puts her head on his shoulder, one hand still on his chest and the other around his neck.

"I'm glad you never gave up on me." she whispers into his shoulder, but he hears her.

"I'll never give up on you, Lyds. Not ever."

She slowly lifts her head up from his shoulder, knowing he is telling the truth. He always tells her the truth. Most of the time she believes he is to good of a person to be her best friend. She shouldn't love him how she does, but she can't help it. The way he's looking at her now, is making it impossible not to love him.

'And oh Lord, when will I breathe again? And when will I stop smiling? Somehow you made me believe again That this is love And this love's unconditional Oh, this love's unconditional This love's unconditional'

The song ends and Lydia Martin realizes there is no getting over the man in front of her. She is far too gone in love with him already. Before she realizes it, they have stopped dancing once the music stopped. His hands are still around her waist and she hasn't moved her arms away from around his neck. Then she remembers something she meant to do tonight. She lifts her head up to look at him.

"There's something I need to do, and I'd like you to come with me." Stiles doesn't question her, he silently nods and follows her back to the table where she grabs her purse and then she's leading him out of the gym.

-------

They walk down one of the school hallways, silently. She's still holding his hand, which he is perfectly okay with. They may be a little tipsy from the spiked punch drink they had before they danced, but they're okay with that too.

A few minutes later they make a turn and he notices they are standing in front of Allison's locker. For a moment, he's scared he's going to have a panic attack. It is still so hard to think about her. He knows a huge part of himself still blames himself for their friends unexpected death. He feels that can not be helped. Some nights he still has nightmares about it. It was not an easy thing to come to terms with. He looks over to Lydia, who he notices eyes are closed before he sees her open them again. Their are tears in her eyes. she squeezes his hand before pulling away and opening up her purse.

She pulls out a light blue flower with a long stem, he can tell it's fake but it's still beautiful. He then notices she is wearing an identical one on her dress, but hers is without the stem and he suspects she must have attached a pin to it so she could wear it. she holds the flower in her hand, looking at it as she begins to explain.

"A few months after me and Allison met, we were already so close. Practically sisters." she gives a teary laugh, it breaks his heart.

"One night, actually the same week you had went Prom dress shopping with me. She came across these beautiful flower arrangements at one of the new shops in the mall. She dragged me in the second she saw it. I remember when she first saw these, her eyes light up saying it was her favorite shade of blue and how we should totally make them into pins to wear them to Senior Prom. I agreed and we picked out a few arrangements. We split them up equally." He watched her wipe at her eyes, afterwards he held her hand in his as she held the flower in her other hand.

" I was going to wait until Senior Prom but then... after she died, and I realized this year there was a dance I felt it was appropriate to make one to wear this year, and It feels wrong not giving her one too." she finishes her sentence in a tear filled whisper. Then a memory comes back to Stiles. Lydia laying an arrangement of light blue flowers on top of Allison's casket before it was lowered into the ground. He feels sick.

"Those flowers at her funeral.." he trails off, hoping she will understand and he doesn't have to hurt both of them by saying the whole sentence. She nods her head in reply.

"That one was mine that I had taken home. Before Mr. Argent moved, he let me take whatever I liked from her room before he left. So I took home the arrangement she had. It just felt right to do that." She sniffles and takes a deep breath before, taking a step towards the locker and lifting her hand up with the flower in it. Using the stem, she puts it between the cracks of the top of the locker. She lays her hand flat on the locker. Stiles can hear her whispering something under her breath, but he doesn't try to listen. He knows its not him her words are for right now. He gives her a moment, and then she lifts her head up; taking her hand off the locker she turns towards Stiles who she sees has a heartbroken expression on his face. She gives him a stern look laced with hurt before taking a step closer to him.

"Please stop blaming yourself, Stiles. It isn't your fault what happened." She reaches her hand up to touch his face, laying her hand on his cheek. She gives him a look that makes him want to cry. He swallows his tears, he can feel himself trembling.

"How have you not ever been mad at me about what happened, Lydia?" he searches her eyes, trying to find the answer he desperately needs. But all he sees is understanding and, he's afraid to say it; but love clear as day in her eyes. His breath hitches when she puts both hands on the side of his face.

"Because it is not your fault, Stiles."

She says it with so much emotion, he is surprised she's not crying. But he does not forget how strong she is. He reaches up to lay his hands on top of her. Lydia realizes the look he is giving her is very similiar to the one he gave her in the locker room after she stopped his panic attack. It makes her heart race and she stills, realizing the strong emotions around them.

"You should hate me." he whispers out, he's beginning to frown which she knows means he is very close to crying. She lays her hands on his shoulders, stepping one step closer.

"No, I shouldn't. And I could never hate you." By then she is shaking and she feels tears in the corners of her eyes. She sees the exact moment he notices this fact, because his face crumbles and then he's enveloping her in an embrace as he lets out a shaky sigh that turns into a sob.

"I'm so sorry, Lyds. I should have been there for you after it happened, and It.. it should have been me." She stills at his words. Her heart drops and she feels she can't breathe. Why would he ever say such a thing? How dare he say such a thing! Didn't he know how much she needed him? Before she realizes it, she is furious.

She pulls away from his embrace, and he gives her a look of hurt and confusion. By then she is crying silently; but she doesn't care. She takes several steps back. He feels her anger radiating off of her.

"How could you ever say something like that?!" she shouts at him. He flinches at the tone in her voice. He realizes he should have kept his mouth shut. He watches her try to calm her anger; he can see her shaking. She takes a deep breathe before continuing.

"What happened to Allison was terrible. It almost killed me." She holds back a sob, she can't look away from him. He has to understand.

"But if it had happened to you..." she trails off, clenching her hands into fists by her side. She looks towards the floor, hoping he would understand. He knows she's crying, he feels awful for causing this. He can't stand to see her break like this, he knows it should have been him that died. Not Allison. He can't help what he says next.

"But it should have been me!" He doesn't mean to say it so loud, he flinches at his tone. Before he can think about what he's just said, she looks back at him with an anger he's never seen on her before. It makes him stop breathing.

"It would have killed me if it had been you!" she screams back. He's surprised by the way she says it, she sounds hurt more then angry. He feels time freeze in that moment. It's silent. She takes a step closer to him.

"Damn it, Stiles! Don't you see?! If it had been you..." he watches tears stream down her face. He can't move. He doesn't understand what she's saying. Allison was her best friend, wouldn't it have been better if he would have been the one that died? But then he sees a certain look in her eyes.

"If it had been you.. I would have gone out of my fucking mind! It would have killed me." she whispers the last part, but she says it just as fiercely as she has with everything else in the last few minutes. He wants to understand, he knows he needs to. But he can't help but be confused.

"Lydia, Allison was your best friend-" she doesn't let him finish.

"And you're my anchor and I love you, Stiles!"

He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was sill holding. He looks at her in that moment, and he knows she's speaking the truth. Tears are still streaming down her face, she looks so broken and all he wants to do is hold her. He understands now. But he says nothing, they stare at each other until he sees a look of downright fear come across her face, she turns away but before she can run like he knows she's about to he grabs her by the wrist and turns her around to face him. She has to put up a hand so she doesn't smack into him. She's afraid to look up.

"Lydia, look at me."

She's scared of rejection. She's scared of losing him. He is her emotional tether. He's practically her other half, but she doesn't feel she's his. She tries to pull away from him, there's almost a struggle before she hears him speak.

"I never stopped loving you."

She freezes at his words. She looks up at him then. His face is still wet from his tears, but more then anything she sees a look of passion in his eyes she hasn't seen before. Not like this. He reaches a hand out to cup her face, and for a moment she forgets how to breathe. The air has changed around them exceptionally fast.

"Lydia, not a single day goes by where I do not love you." She feels tears on her face again, but she doesn't care. She feels like this is a dream.

"I thought..." she trails off, unsure where to go with what she's saying. She can't fully comprehend what he just said. He gives her a smile then.

"Did you really think I wasn't in love with you anymore?"

She doesn't know how to answer that without sounding stupid. Ofcourse she didn't think he was anymore. Why would she think that?

"I tried to move on because I thought that's what you might have wanted. I will admit, it was terrible timing. I didn't think you.." he trails off this time. She thinks about his words. Ofcourse he didn't think she did. She never expressed that she ever did. How would he even know?

They stare at each other for a minute in silence before they slowly smile at one another. To his surprise she starts laughing, and then he's laughing. They hold onto each other, letting the laughter pass between them and then it's silent again but this time it's okay. She feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

"oh my god." she says, finally comprehending everything that just happened. His eyes go wide, realizing what it all means too.

"I know." he says simply, reaching to hold her hand in his. He intertwines their fingers together.She looks down, still smiling.

"We are complete idiots." He laughs at that, he doesn't feel she's wrong. How could they be so stupid not to see it?

"Lydia?" his voice sounds small, like he's unsure of himself. She looks up at him, confused.

"Does this mean I can kiss you?"

Her eyes widen at his question. It's nice of him to ask, but he should know he doesn't have to. But then again, this is Stiles. She cups his face with her hands, and nods while meeting him half way. She can't explain the feeling that falls over them. Maybe it's the emotional tether. Maybe it's just because they both know now. It leaves her feeling warm and breathless. When they pull away, she can tell he feels it to. It's almost like being wrapped in a warm blanket, but it's energy and it's swirling around them.

"What is that?" he asks her, looking around them as if expecting to actually see something. She knows something abnormal when she feels it, considering she is a banshee. This is not something normal humans go through. Not every human has preformed a dangerous Surrogate Sacrifice Ritual, causing them to temporarily die before being resurrected and pulled back by thei emotional tether.

"It's the tether." she whispers, in awe by the feeling. His look is one of surprise.

They didn't know the tether would feel or be like this. They both silently agree, that it feels right. They stand together for another moment.

"Want to get back to the dance and hang out with Scott and Kira?" she asks him, while intertwining their fingers again. It was then that Stiles knew everything would be okay. As long as he had her, life would be good. They could overcome anything together.

"In a minute." he whispers before kissing her once more.

When he pulls away, they begin their slow descent back to the gym. She looks back up at him, and their eyes meet.

"I'm happy you're my anchor."

He squeezes her hand before replying.

"I'm glad you're my anchor too."

#stydia #stydia fanfic #teen wolf #lydia martin #stiles stilinski #stiles and lydia #teen wolf fanfiction #stiles #lydia #stydia fanfiction #emotional tether #my anchor #anchor #banshee queen #scott mccall #kira yukimura #stydia one shot #remember i love you #spoilers

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covid19stories · 4 years

Text

I feel very fortunate in this whole mess, because I already worked from home and my manager has described our company as "disaster proof"—even at a time like this, we're fine. So I feel lucky. But the rough part of that is that, because I know I have that great privilege, I feel like I'm not allowed to have any negative feelings about this whole mess. I do have negative feelings, though. I'm just going to try to put them down here in no particular order:

I feel like I'm slowly losing it from being cooped up inside all day and having virtually no in-person interactions with anyone besides my boyfriend. I love him, don't get me wrong, and if I had to pick anyone to be stuck in a house with, I'd pick him! Even still, not talking to anyone else in person is... weird. And I feel so cooped up. I just want to go browse an antique shop or walk around the mall for a while or stop in for a cup of tea at my favorite metaphysical shop, but I know I can't do any of that.

We ran out of toiler paper the other day and went to five stores around us trying to get some more. Every store we went to was completely sold out. We ended up driving 45 minutes each way up to my dad's house to get some from him because my grandma had found a store with a small stock left and got some for us. He now has some more ready for us (plus some disinfectant wipes, which we've been desperate for), but I'm DREADING having to spend another 90 minutes in the car just so we can grab something off of my dad's porch and then head back to our own city.

Obviously no one should be visiting other homes right now anyway, but I have an extra reason not to visit my dad's home right now: my siblings, stepmom, and grandma all live with him, and my grandma + two of my siblings are considered high-risk during this pandemic—if they get COVID-19, it's going to be severe. So even when this starts dying down, I think it's going to be a while before I'm comfortable going over to their house. I miss them a lot. We used to see them every other weekend—they'd come down on Saturday and we'd play Call of Cthulhu, then we'd go up Sunday to play D&D. It's been weeks since I saw them and I know it's going to be weeks more, if not months. I hope it's less than a year. I hope we can see them for the holidays.

And I feel bad about the above point, because it's been longer since my boyfriend saw his mom. She last visited us in September or so, maybe October? Last fall. She lives about five hours away. We were going to drive down next month for his grandma's birthday, but it looks like we won't be able to do that. I feel bad. I know he misses her. We were going to go down there for Christmas. I hope we'll still be able to.

My boyfriend's work has been deemed an "essential service" and is refusing to close. He's getting "hazard pay", but it's only an extra $2/hour, which I don't think is really fair compensation for somebody putting themselves at high risk for contracting a potentially fatal disease because his store is refusing to shut down or go curbside only. Their sick leave policy has always sucked (you only get a little; it comes from the same pool as your PTO; and you get a write-up every time you call out no matter how sick you are, even if you have a doctor's note), and their COVID-19 sick leave policy doesn't feel great, either: you get 14 days of paid leave... at 50% pay. But, as neither the landlord nor the utility company are offering 50% off bills, that's not really feasible for us. So if he does get sick, we'll have to make a choice: stay home, get better, and slow the spread of the virus... or continue being able to pay rent and buy groceries. We're hoping that his parents will be able to give us financial assistance if that does happen, but I'm worried.

So many people around me who are out of work/school right now are creating so many amazing works of art—comics, music, drawings, podcasts—and I'm trying to work on something, too, but it's going so slowly because I still have to work full-time. I feel like I'm starting to run behind everyone else.

Alright, I think that's about it for my feelings. Sorry if this is kind of disjointed—typing it up was kind of exhausting, and I think re-reading it would exhaust me further, so I'm just gonna hand this in unedited (even though my writer brain is screaming NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING IT HAS TO BE PERFECT"). Thanks for reading.

#covid19 #coronavirus #submission

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canaryatlaw · 5 years

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okay I should write and get to bed. today was pretty boring. I woke up for a little at like 9:50 but managed to fall back asleep till like 12:49 at which point I actually got up. One of the first things I did was check my email with my fingers crossed that I would have something from OPG since they had asked about my availability for next week and my most recent email was in fact from them saying I have an interview scheduled with them for 10 am on Wednesday, March 27th. I’d kinda had a feeling they might’ve ended up scheduling it on my birthday, but the day after is pretty close. I’m both excited and nervous and probably a couple million other emotions about it. I’m relieved that it’s set and good to go after going back and forth over email about oh we’re gonna schedule one then oh no we’re not then oh wait yes we will but I’m not going to tell you when yet which started in like, February, so finally having a solid date and knowing it’s set to happen is a massive relief. As long as it was still in the air I was concerned that something might happen (again) that might have them call it off again and of course I really did not want that to happen. So I’ll bide my time over the next week since I don’t really have anything I need to get done and try to be as prepared as possible, and just pray for the best. There’s really so much riding on this for me. This is basically the only career path forward at this point that actually has me doing the work I want to do, the work I came to law school to do. It really means a lot to me. So I guess we’ll see how my feelings about that play out over the next week. After I got up I had a bagel for breakfast (I only have one more in the freezer, all things considered they lasted a fairly long time) and then got changed and grabbed my cart and headed over to the grocery store to pick up a few things, namely toilet paper and dry cat food, plus a few random other things like ground turkey and shredded cheese. I initially thought I could fit the toilet paper and the cat food (it was a 16 pound bag) in the cart so I was gonna put the toiler paper in first for the flat section of the bottom and then kinda have the cat food curled around it, but once I actually tried to put the toilet paper in the bag with the help of like two store employees I realized that was definitely not going to happen, and it would be a very stupid idea to put the toilet paper in the cart and carry the 16 pound bag of cat food when I could just do the reverse, so I wheeled out of the store and out of eyesight of the store employees who helped me get the toilet paper in (sorry guys) and pulled it out again and placed the cat food and the rest of the groceries in the cart and carried the toilet paper home, which worked out much better. Once getting home I put stuff away and finally got around to fully cleaning out the metal bowl for my kitchenaid mixer since it was so covered in chocolate after the twix bar making I’ve had to get it off little by little over the past few days. After that I decided to just chill for a while, so I decided to watch a few episodes of The Americans. I’m trying to make sure I mix it up a little so I don’t just binge straight through Reign and not watch anything else. Eventually I flipped over to the news and watched that for a bit until it was time for Arrow. This was of course the flash-forward episode, so pretty much all of it was set in Star City 2040. I have to say I liked it more than I thought I would. I’m still not like totally crazy about the plot, but their storyline tonight was well executed and had compelling character moments, so they get points for that (and I mean, there was little to no Oliver in it, so that’s always a plus). Went straight into Black Lightning after that for their season finale and holy shit man, this episode was wild and just all around amazing. Like everything in it was so damn good. I love Jennifer and Anissa so much and I was dying at the end when Jennifer just straight up flies into Tobias’ lair and just starts jolting him and he’s totally powerless to do anything about it and I’m just like yes you go my girl 😂😂😂 love her so much. I always thought the Markovia metahuman aspect of the story was interesting, particularly because they're doing a substantially similar storyline in the new season of Young Justice that’s been coming out this year, so it’s very interesting to see where they both go from the basic DC lore. And yeah, overall it was a really strong episode and solid finale, I knew in my heart they weren't gonna end up killing Tobias but I still really would've liked for Jen to be able to do that, lol. but on that note Khalil!! Maybe not dead!!! I mean I thought he got buried but you never know with these people I wouldn’t put it past them to go grave digging to get a body back 😂 so we’ll have to see where that goes next season. After that I switched over to The Resident which I had recorded to watch, and they also had a fantastic episode. I was so mad after last week’s ending where they made it look like Conrad’s dad was about to betray him and be a really gross SOB so I was extremely relieved to find out that was not in fact the case and that they were actually working together in this. I thought the medical aspects of the plot were very interesting mostly because I happened to have googled what “echo” was just a couple days ago after hearing about it being used in one of the parent’s of sick babies that I follow on instagram, their sweet girl had been on it for some time and when they took her off of it she passed away. So I had been curious to what exactly this was and when they brought it up tonight I knew exactly what they were talking about, so that was kinda cool (albeit caused by unfortunate circumstances). As far as the other guy goes, I definitely thought it was going to have been a self-inflicted gunshot wound, but they had a point that the guy was a doctor, if he was going to attempt suicide he would’ve known to at least aim for the heart or just go for the head. That was a hell of a car chase at the end, which ended in a ridiculously bad car wreck which then exploded just for good measure, so I think we can safely say there were no survivors there. but yeah, very good episode. After that I watched the news and then Jimmy Kimmel (he had the Queer Eye guys on so of course I wanted to see that) before starting to get ready for bed and after some procrastinating now I am here. Tomorrow I don’t have any concrete plans for most of the day, I’ll probably try to catch up on two more shows that aired tonight that I didn’t get around to watching yet and possibly make this recipe for homemade cheezits which is similar to one I’ve made before which turned out really well. And then I’m supposed to get “coffee” with a guy at 7 so I guess we’ll see how that goes. But right now I am super tired since it’s past 2 am and would very much like to go to sleep now, so that is what I am going to do. Goodnight darlings. Hope your Monday didn’t suck.

#daily journal #March 2019 #Rachel watches Arrow #Rachel watches Black Lightning

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subjisoo · 7 years

Text

Check In chapter 9

Words: 3k

Genre: ??? idk drama? angst? not sure yet lol

Synopsis: Seungcheol and his best friend Wonwoo have been running a small drug dealing business for the past two years, along with Wonwoo’s boyfriend Mingyu on the books and new recruit Hansol to manage the second hand shop they use as a cover story.

This Chapter: Lots of hurt and comfort for Cheolsol and backstory for Seungcheol bc I ?? haven't given him any yet wtf

Warnings: drug ment (light), conversion therapy ment (very very light), death ment

Author’s Note: based on the MV for Check In which I edited into a kind of trailer for this fic and u can watch it here.

Check In: chapter one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / read on ao3

Hansol had never actually made a sale himself, but he’d been witness to so many that he figured he would be fine. He had told Seungcheol this on the phone, but it didn’t stop him from texting Hansol every five minutes to make sure he was okay.

When half an hour went by with no text, Hansol started to get worried and called Seungcheol.

“Oh thank god,” Seungcheol’s voice echoed on the other end when he picked up.

“Are you in a toilet?”

“Well, I’m not going to take a phone call from my boyfriend about our weed business in front of a homophobic conservative, am I?”

Hansol laughed. “Fair enough. So why haven’t you texted for a while? You were being pretty consistent for a while there.”

“I ran out of credit.”

“Wow, that’s dedication.”

“Can you just, text me updates so I know everything’s okay?”

“Yeah, I can do that. Nothing happened in the past half an hour except some freshmen came in trying to get something so I told them there was a waiting list.”

“No one causing you any trouble?”

“Nope, I’ve got everything under control.”

Seungcheol breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god. What about the other two?”

Hansol glanced at the stair case. “No word yet, but I heard the shower running a while ago. No yelling or sounds of anything breaking, which I guess is a good sign.”

“Very good. Okay babe I gotta go, she’ll tell me off for taking a shit in public if I stay in here too long.”

Hansol laughed, looking to the front of The Shop as the bell rang. “Okay, I gotta go too; customers.”

“Stay safe, and text me updates.”

“Will do,” Hansol said, rising from the stool to greet the customers. “I really gotta go, Cheol.”

“Okay okay, I’ll talk to you soon, love you.”

Before he could reply, Seungcheol had hung up. Hansol shook himself, putting his phone next to the till and greeting the customers.

“Hi, how can I help you?”

There were two of them; a tall, willowy woman and a short, stoic man with a goatee. The man looked around The Shop as the woman stood in front of the till, towering over Hansol.

“We’re here for what’s in the back room,” she said, not meeting Hansol’s eyes.

Something about her made Hansol very uncomfortable. “Sure, can I get a name?”

“Lee.”

Hansol laughed, taking the clipboard out from under the desk. “We have about twenty of those, I’m gonna need your first name too.”

He flipped to the letter L on the list of customers and scanned it for Lee Minji. “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have you on our list. You’ll have to go through a background check before we can sell to you.”

Minji nodded slowly, finally meeting Hansol’s eyes. “What, do I have to sign up to buy weed?”

“That’s generally how we operate, yes.”

She shared a look with the man, who was standing by the books on the wall. She turned back to Hansol.

“Thank you.”

With out saying anything else, the two of them left. Hansol stowed away the clipboard and sat down again. He debated calling Seungcheol, but decided it would be better to text him.

[Sent, 1:34pm] Hey, still alive

[Received: Seungcheol, 1:34pm] Thanks babe

Hansol decided not to tell him about the people until Seungcheol got back in case he got too worked up, but felt he needed to tell someone.

[Sent, 1:35pm] Everything okay up there?

He bounced his knee as he waited for a reply.

[Received: Mingyu, 1:37pm] Crisis: averted

[Received: Mingyu, 1:37pm] Peace: restored

[Received: Mingyu, 1:38pm] Dick: not out

[Received: Mingyu, 1:39pm] Thanks for everything, by the way, it means a lot

[Sent, 1:40pm] It’s no problem man, I’m glad things are okay now

[Received: Mingyu, 1:41pm] Yeah well idk if I would’ve been able to do it without your help

[Sent, 1:41pm] You would’ve been fine man, but I’m glad I could be there for u

[Received: Mingyu, 1:42pm] Thanks bro, sorry our balls didn’t touch

Hansol laughed, feeling a bit more at ease as he typed in his next reply.

[Sent, 1:43pm] If your dick really isn’t out, is it cool if I come up? Got some business stuff to talk about

[Received: Mingyu, 1:44pm] Sure, we’re on the balcony

When he got onto the balcony, Mingyu and Wonwoo had their chairs right next to each other and were holding hands, a mug of black coffee and a glass of orange juice on the table. They both looked up as Hansol shoved the door open and joined them at the table. Wonwoo looked exhausted, his eye starting to swell with the bruising. Mingyu’s eyes were still a bit puffy, but he looked quietly happy.

“You two are a sight for sore eyes.”

Mingyu laughed and the corner of Wonwoo’s mouth tugged up.

“Everything sorted out?”

Mingyu turned to Wonwoo who cleared his throat and looked intently at the glass of orange juice. “Yeah. Mingyu stopped crying, at least.”

The three of them laughed a little, and Hansol felt bad for bringing something negative back to them.

“Some people just came into The Shop and I think they were like, cops or something?”

Mingyu sat up a little more. “What makes you think that?”

Hansol told them what happened and Mingyu thought for a moment. “Doesn’t sound like cops.”

“What does it sound like?”

Mingyu took in a sharp breath, letting go of Wonwoo’s hand and leaning forwards. “Do you know of any other drug dealing services in the area?”

Hansol shrugged. “Not really my scene, if you’d believe it. I can ask around though.”

“Don’t make it obvious. Actually, don’t do it, I’ll sort things out. My cousin might know, I’ll give him a call.”

Hansol looked at Mingyu expectantly as he got his phone out of his pocket. Wonwoo rested his arm on the back of Mingyu’s chair and picked up the coffee to take a drink.

“Thanks for letting us know, Hansol. You can go back down if you want.”

“Okay. I haven’t told Cheol yet; he can’t really talk on the phone and I figured a text would just freak him out.”

Wonwoo nodded. “Smart.”

Hansol left them to it and went back downstairs, relieved to find the shop empty. He planted himself back on his stool and reached for his phone.

[Sent, 2:02pm] Still kickin’

[Received: Seungcheol, 2:03pm] Good to hear

The rest of the day was uneventful, with Seungcheol and Mikyung returning just as Hansol was closing up. He greeted them both politely, not knowing if he should talk to Seungcheol or not. They walked past him and went upstairs without any conversation, and Hansol was about to leave without saying goodbye when he got a text.

[Received: Seungcheol, 5:07pm] I’ll be down in a minute, can you wait for me?

[Sent, 5:07pm] Sure

Seungcheol came down the stairs a few minutes later, carrying a duffel bag.

“Hope you don’t mind me crashing at yours? Mingyu said he could handle things for a night. I think they want the room to themselves.”

Hansol raised his brows. “With her in the next room?”

Seungcheol shrugged, giving Hansol a brief kiss. “They can be quiet if they really want to.”

Hansol laughed, opening the door and letting Seungcheol step out before him. “Sure, Jan.”

They held hands as they walked back to the dorms, talking lightly and avoiding big subjects. When they got to Hansol’s room, it was a mess from Mingyu that morning. The duvet was on the floor and there was crumpled up toilet paper littered around the floor. The empty cups of noodles were still on the desk.

Hansol closed the door behind them and put his backpack on his desk, collapsing on the bed. “He produces so much snot, you wouldn’t believe.”

Seungcheol placed his bag by the door and navigated his way to the bed, falling onto it next to Hansol. “He had a cold for two weeks last year. It was hell.”

Hansol winced. “I can imagine.”

Seungcheol propped himself up on his elbows and looked around the room. “This is pretty impressive, though. How’d the duvet get on the floor?”

Hansol shrugged. “It’s all a blur of tears and tissues.”

Seungcheol laughed. “They seemed okay when I was up there before. Mind you I wasn’t there for long.”

“They’re okay, I talked to them for a bit when they were sitting on the balcony holding hands and cuddling.”

“What a relief. I can deal with me and Wonwoo fighting, but I don’t know how to deal with them fighting.”

Hansol got up from the bed and started collecting the pieces of toilet paper into the small bin he kept under his desk. “Have they not fought before?”

“Not really. Mingyu gets frustrated with Wonwoo sometimes, but they don’t have big fights like me and Wonwoo do.”

When he had picked up all the toiler paper, Hansol put the bin back under his desk and picked up the duvet. Seungcheol moved up the bed as Hansol spread the duvet out over him, then lying face down on the bed himself.

“I didn’t think you and Wonwoo fought.”

Seungcheol laughed. “We fight a lot. They’re big fights, but they’re never serious, you know? Like at the end of the day we still love each other so it’s never too serious.”

“Like siblings?”

“Yeah, I don’t have any but I imagine that’s what it’s like.”

Hansol put his head on Seungcheol’s chest, draping an arm over his torso. “Me and my sister fight heaps, but we don’t even have to apologise for the argument to be over. You have the fight, you yell at each other, you storm off, then you tell them a joke five minutes later and everything’s fine.”

“Sounds about right.” Seungcheol pulled Hansol closer to him and kissed the top of his head. “Sorry all of this is going on, I know it’s a lot to handle.”

Hansol shook his head. “It’s okay, I’m more worried about you lot. I’m doing fine.”

Seungcheol pulled Hansol into his lap, circling his arms around him and forming a sort of protective shell. Hansol froze, trying to figure out what was going on, only speaking when Seungcheol started sniffling.

“Cheol?”

“Mm?”

“What are you doing?”

“I think I’m protecting you?”

Hansol shifted a little. “From what?”

“Everything,” his voice was ragged and he sniffed again.

Hansol sat up, forcing Seungcheol to uncurl from around him. When Hansol saw his face, it was wet with a steady stream of tears, his eyes bloodshot and his lip trembling. Hansol placed his hands either side of his face.

“Cheol, what’s wrong?”

Seungcheol closed his eyes and held his breath.

“Baby?”

With that, Seungcheol collapsed forwards onto Hansol’s chest and started to wail, his whole body heaving. Hansol repositioned them so that he was lying on his side, cradling Seungcheol in his arms and playing with his hair. Seungcheol’s body was limp, his sobs taking control of his muscles.

Hansol made a hushing sound and kissed Seungcheol’s hair. “It’s okay, get it out, I’ll wait, you’re okay.” He repeated this like a mantra as Seungcheol cried until he couldn’t cry anymore.

When he was done, Seungcheol rolled to lie on his back. Hansol reached for what was left of the toilet roll and passed it to Seungcheol, who used it to blow his nose and mop up his tears.

“Cheol, what happened?”

Seungcheol sighed in a way that indicated he wanted to keep crying but had used up all his energy. “It’s a long story.”

“We have all night, baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

“It’s just,” he held his breath again, “it’s been three years today.”

Hansol shuffled closer and slung his arm of Seungcheol’s torso. “Three years since what?”

“Since Hanbin.”

Hansol frowned, trying to remember if Seungcheol had mentioned the name before. “Who’s Hanbin?”

Seungcheol closed his eyes, dislodging a tear that ran into his hairline. “He was my boyfriend.”

This threw Hansol, because Seungcheol had never mentioned any past boyfriends. Although he supposed it shouldn’t have surprised him, as he knew that Seungcheol had experience.

He lightly kissed Seungcheol’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No. Yes. I mean,” he sighed, “I know I should, but it hurts.”

Hansol rubbed his stomach in a way he hoped was soothing. “Take your time, I’ll be here.”

It was a while before Seungcheol spoke, and he opened and closed his mouth several times before he finally started.

“Hanbin and I pretty much grew up together, like our parents were friends. Wanted us to be each others best man or whatever. But,” he furrowed his brows, “I don’t know how it happened, it just kinda did.”

“What, you two dating?”

“Yeah, you know he was my best friend and my first kiss when we were like eight. We were too young to know it wasn’t normal and we spent pretty much all our time together and held hands and shared beds. I think we were fifteen when we realised we were in love. Pretty soon after that we figured out we weren’t allowed to be.”

Hansol’s hand moved up to Seungcheol’s chest and he started to draw shapes. “That must’ve been scary.”

“Terrifying. You’ve met Mikyung; pretty much everyone in our town’s like that. We had to be careful and hide it. Of course we told Wonwoo, because he was in our group of three and it didn’t seem fair to keep it from him. That was scary at the time.”

“But it was fine right? I mean judging by the fact you live together with his boyfriend.”

Seungcheol laughed weakly. “Yeah, he cried and thanked us because he’d wanted to come out for a few years but was too scared. So we were a happy, gay little trio.” He took a deep breath. “Then Wonwoo came out to his mum and got sent to conversion therapy and it was just the two of us, which was weird for a while. But he came back, and he was different but he was still Wonwoo, so it was fine.”

Hansol did the maths in his head. “So we’re up to four years ago, right?”

“Yeah.”

Hansol kissed his shoulder again. “You don’t have to rush.”

“Thanks, it’s okay. So the three of us were still friends, all hiding in the closet together. But we figured we could go to the same university all of us together and that way we wouldn’t have to hide from anyone, be away from our parents and just be gay freely.”

Hansol was about to ask if he had met Hanbin, but Seungcheol continued.

“Those first three months were so good.” He was smiling wide, looking up at the ceiling. “We were nineteen and gay and in love and it felt like we had everything figured out. Everything was good.

“This was back in the early days of The Shop, before it was even The Shop; we were just selling out of our pockets. Wonwoo was still running errands like he is now, because he’s a scary looking guy and we all know I’m too soft. But then Mikyung came to visit and they went out for lunch and there was something on the other side of town.” He thought for a moment, Hansol still tracing shapes on his chest. “I don’t even remember what it was, but Wonwoo was still out and Hanbin,” his voice faltered and he cleared his throat. “Hanbin said he would do it.

“I tried to stop him, tell him I could go or we could wait for Wonwoo, but he told me to stop worrying.” He sighed, shutting his eyes. “I’m so glad I told him I loved him. I’m so glad I did that because.” He held his breath and let it out, holding it again then letting it out. “He died.”

Hansol felt himself start to cry, simply upset by seeing Seungcheol so distraught. “Cheol, I’m so sorry that’s, that’s fucking awful.”

Seungcheol finally turned his head and looked at Hansol, his voice just a ragged whisper. “I had to lie to his parents. I had to tell them that he was just my friend, that he was caught in the crossfire of something we didn’t know about. In my eulogy, I couldn’t even say that I was in love with him. I had to lie even after he died.”

Hansol placed his hand softly on Seungcheol’s cheek, wiping at his tears as Seungcheol melted into the touch. “You blame yourself.”

He already knew the answer, but that did little to stop the breaking of his heart as Seungcheol nodded.

“You shouldn’t – don’t interrupt me – you shouldn’t blame yourself. I know you do and it’s hard and you can’t get rid of that survivor’s guilt, but you couldn’t have done anything.”

“I could’ve gone instead, it could’ve been me.”

“But then I wouldn’t have met you,” Hansol’s voice was wavering. “I wouldn’t have met you and I wouldn’t have –” he bit his lip but finished his sentence. “I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you.”

Seungcheol sniffed loudly. “You’ve fallen in love with me?”

“Well, yeah I mean.” He felt heat creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks. “I kinda thought we both had. You said it on the phone today.”

Seungcheol turned onto his side, taking both of Hansol’s hands in his. “Don’t, don’t. I do love you.” He pressed their kips together several times. “I do I do I was just scared you didn’t love me.”

Hansol giggled against his lips. “Of course I love you, don’t be ridiculous.”

They let one of the kisses last a bit longer before Hansol pulled away. “I’m really sorry about Hanbin.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“It wasn’t yours, either.”

Seungcheol opened his mouth but thought better and just smiled. “Thank you.”

“I’ll try to stop telling you not to worry so much.”

Seungcheol breathed out hard, his breath warm on Hansol’s face. “Thank you.”

“You need food and rest,” Hansol said, rolling off the bed and going to get some cup noodles from the cupboard.

When they had finished their noodles, they put the cups next to the ones from the previous night. They didn’t bother changing as they got under the covers.

Seungcheol held Hansol against his chest and kissed him just behind his ear. “I love you so much.”

Hansol squeezed his hand as their fingers intertwined. “I love you too, Cheol.”

#seventeen #hip hop unit #meanie #cheolsol #check in #mine

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