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striving-artist · 1 year

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Your genuine delight over Goncharov made me really happy ☺️ If you have more thoughts on how/why this happened on a meta level, I’d love to hear them! 💕

Look. Look at me. Look at my face. This is the compounding and expanding creation you see in something like tiktok going ham over sea shanties (loved that, shanties are great) and the original one, that ended up with like, 9... mixes? add ons? idefk i don't use tiktok. But see. see. tiktok has fame and engagement baked into the mix. Its your face. you want followers for it. Your followers can gain you money or influence or whatever the hell. and this doesn't have that. in part because this is tumblr, we couldn't create a market friendly influencer if our lives depended on it

But this is ALSO a joint collaboration in the scope of something like fucking qanon. and yes, qanon is a full on fascist breeding ground so I hate to use it but thats how desperate i am to find a reference point. Bc it started as a single drop on a website that one person encourage and then it spiralled into full offshoots. BUT its also totally not the same bc it was made wiht an agenda and purpose and the intent to convert and persuade people

And sure, maybe some of the first posts were people going 'haha this'll be funny' and yeah, looking at the note counts, some people are drowning in the reactions for the elements they made, but this isn't done with an agenda. It's all Yes, And, never a disagreement except in the sense of people bickering over which of their meta analyses of a non existent movie is more accurate.

Maybe something like Cicada? or or. the way they dropped the joker image??? Or the album that dropped early by leaving random fucking USB drives in bathrooms at concerts???? But cicada was secretive and antagonistic to each other in a lot of ways. And Joker was built by a marketing team. and the USB drives weren't as effective as they wanted?

Geocaching?? but there's an element of accumlating clout and bragging rights there that excludes it from comparison.

But its such a pure creation that I keep reaching back to the kinds of myths that that we told before we left africa. the stories that pervade humanity so far back in time that we can't find the origin. They were made and told and retold solely because we are humans and we want to share this thing we made so others can see it and enjoy it and share it again.

LOOK. This. it's. Look at my face. This is a work of spontaneous public art. This is a thing that the greatest artists of the last hundred years would saw off their testicles to achieve. They would with a smile on their face. People literally HAVE spent millions and millions of dollars trying to force this stuff. they have tried to carve this out of people. This kind of genuine engagment. People hire teams to work for years to make a tiny fragment of this happen and they cant bc it always feel false???

And! This! Just! Happened! Spontaneously! That first rush was in like. 30 hours?? idk, I need to build a timeline. But even if it happened over 72, this is. this is. idefk its so amazing send help I'm back to rambling

#goncharov

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palmtreepalmtree · 4 months

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Alright my friends - the twinkly lights are up, the house smells like pine, you've got every manner of red-green-and-gold wrapping paper shoved in a corner - without a doubt it's that time of year: Christmas. As you know, I've been disappointed to see so few entries into the Christmas rom-com genre this year from Netflix, so I've started to explore further afield to find something ripe for your enjoyment.

And now, I'm pleased to present...

The Worst Movies on HBO/MAX/Discovery+/HGTV??? (idefk), Right Now!

As it turns out sometime last year Discovery+ teamed up with MarVista to produce some Christmas romance content with random tie-ins to their FoodNetwork/HGTV network stars. This has created some really... oh, let's just call it interesting content.

I mean... you gotta know from the outset that there's no way these will be good. NO fucking WAY.

FIRST, as a whole, I don't think these movies know what their purpose is. Are they supposed to promote the reality shows of their cameo stars? Are they supposed to give their reality stars an opportunity to flex some acting muscle!? Are they supposed to be *GASP* good stories? NOBODY KNOWS!

SECOND, it's possible that the point of these movies is just to promote the reality show format as like... a concept. But the thing is -- NOT TO FORESHADOW OR ANYTHING -- that comes with some very weird baggage. LIKE SUPER WEIRD.

Let's break these down in round-up style.

The first movie that apparently created the mold* was Candy Coated Christmas (2021) - *pun intended. This vehicle cameos Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, who gets about two minutes of screen time which apparently warrants her this kind of promotional one-sheet placement:

...like okay.

A shocking number of these stories involve people who are in financial peril. In this one, a hotel heiress finds herself on the brink of bankruptcy, and, on daddy's orders, she heads to a small town to evict the peppermint farmer tenants at her family's property who are, you guessed it, on the brink of bankruptcy.

In this movie, the spirit of Christmas (or spearmint gum in this case), is a plan to rescue these two financial catastrophes, oh, and they fall in love. Sure. Why not.

This movie is an empty candy-coated shell of a romance that I can best describe as serviceable. But apparently it was enough of a hit that the rest of the movies followed. So we can blame this candy cane for the Christmas rogering that followed in 2022.

Continuing from worst to most egregious...

A Gingerbread Christmas (2022) - This one cameos that Ace of Cakes dude (no idea his name and not interested in looking it up) who is judging a gingerbread competition that the main character desperately needs to win to save her dead mom's foundering bakery - YES another fucking business in peril.

Her love interest is the general contractor/baker/single dad who has taken up daily residence in the bakery where he is apparently simultaneously working on fixing the place up and also doing all of the baking........?

Yeah, it makes little sense, and yet somehow this is not the worst of the four entries this year.

Both of these actors are people you'll recognize and will have you thinking heyyyyy where is she/he from? (Let me help you out: The Good Place/Reacher). They're fine.

This is fine.

It's just... not going to leave you feeling much of anything. And that's the exact opposite of what these movies are supposed to do. You're not killing me, you're just boring me. There's nothing spicy in this gingerbread, baby! ZING! Nailed 'em.

There's a kind of nice subplot about a new immigrant entering the contest as well, but maybe I have a soft spot in my heart for that. This definitely does not seem like it's going for the same audience as some of the Hallmark movies, but it's also only gesturing at substantive things rather than really delivering anything of substance. Hey guys, did you know that immigrant Muslims can celebrate Christmas too!?

MOVING ON.....

One Delicious Christmas (2022) - Alright... where do I even start here??? Continuing on our theme of struggling businesses, this one slightly breaks the pattern by telling us a story of the owner of a boutique inn who needs to find a new chef for her family business so that she can bring on a financial partner to help ease the strain of her sole ownership.

The cameo in this one is Bobby Flay who comes in as a restaurant critic to comment on the food. Sigh. I know. Look I'm just reporting here, don't harm the messenger.

Alright there are three things here that just drove me completely batty: First, and I hate calling this shit out, but I gotta say the lead actress here has some partial vocal fry thing going on with her voice that is just impossible to watch for an hour and a half. I just wanted to shake her and be like BREATHE THROUGH YOUR CHEST. Fucking hell. It's a trial being me sometimes.

Second, obviously the theme here is cooking, but the whole story is based around the fact that the chef is doing new and risky recipes that the inn owner is nervous her people won't like... but like... the recipes are super basic? Like scalloped potatoes instead of mashed? Lobster bisque!? None of the new menu items read as dangerous or cutting edge -- especially if you watch the Food Network -- SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT1?!? Argh, okay.

Last, and this is just a weird thing that probably only I noticed, but like all these movies seemed to go out of their way to do mixed racial castings, which is a good thing, but then they also seem to have not made any adjustments for that in terms of story.

In this one, the love interest/chef is played by a Canadian actor of Filipino ancestry -- but his character name is Preston Weaver. Preston. PRESTON. PRESTON. There are also repeated references in the story to cooking for and with his grandmother, but no mention, not even one, that maybe her cooking wasn't American-style food? I mean, it is perfectly possible for a person to have their family immigrant story have happened so long ago, that even their grandparent doesn't make traditional foods from their country of ethnic origin, but it also seems WEIRD. Like some sort of weird white washing??? idk. Jury is still out on this I guess. I just don't think it would have killed them to reference one Filipino recipe or technique, especially since that's a pretty rich food culture. You know, as compared with making a main plot point that the fucking LOBSTER BISQUE keeps selling out.

(Is there a whiter word than bisque? I don't fucking think so).

I HAVE GONE ON TOO LONG. THE NEXT ONE.

Designing Christmas (2022) - Alright, I'm running out of steam and so I'm gonna make this one quick. This one cameos that dark haired lady from Love it or List it not sure her name not looking it up (Hilary???). This one is about a couple who work as a designer/contractor pair on a reality show and in order to save their failing show they decide their last show of the season will be a restoration of her family's old home that she just purchased and SURPRISE TO NO ONE WHO WATCHES THESE SHOWS there's a crack in the foundation blahblahblah WHO CARES!?

NO ONE.

This one really suffers from the fact that the male lead is just boring.

Honestly, that's a theme throughout these movies. The male leads are super weak and boring. Tepid. Just absolutely forgettable characters played by actors who are deciding whether the fuck to fire their agents.

What's weird about this one is the way that the production really styles it after a reality show -- even including those restoration classic before and after reveals. But that is nothing on the last one......

A Christmas Open House (2022) -- Alright the cameos in this one are that Hometown Whatever couple who have been "restoring" houses in their hometown in someplace in the south and by restoring, I mean flipping but under the guise of home restoration.

ANYHOW - the plot is that this big city house stager teams up with a realtor to sell her family home to make sure her mom gets the best purchase price on the sale. It's just like those old Christmas classics that really capture the Christmas spirit - A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street, It's a Wonderful Life. You know. Really in that anti-capitalist vein.

Deeeeeeeep sigh.

So... I don't even know how to say this. But this movie involves a Christmas miracle.

See, it turns out the house stager accidentally gave the furniture company the wrong credit card number, so the day before the showing ON CHRISTMAS the furniture people came and took back all of the perfectly staged furniture and GASP knocked down the (fake) Christmas tree! WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO1?!? HOW ARE THEY EVER GONNA SELL THE HOUSE ON CHRISTMAS NOW!?$!

BUT IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

The whole town shows up to bring them furniture that they can use to stage the house before the potential buyers arrive. Like... they show up with their odds and ends so that the house can be staged. SO THAT THE HOUSE CAN BE STAGED FOR SALE. Are... are you guys with me here? The miracle that the whole town rallied behind was bringing FURNITURE to STAGE A HOUSE. FOR SALE.

I just... I am walking away.

We are so fucking far from Dickens here we might as well be in a new fucking holiday.

And we are.

Because that's the whole point of all of these movies.

It's not Christmas.

It's American Christmas.

For all the shit that the nostalgic, small-town worshipping Christmas movies get this time of year, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say these movies are more insidious. Instead of blatantly trying to valorize the small town spirit, the support of family and friends, and getting back to your roots, these movies are like the Scooby Doo villain of Christmas movies. Rip off the mask at the end for the big reveal:

IT WAS CAPITALISM ALL ALONG!?!?

Anyhow, I don't know who was supposed to read these scripts before they became movies, but everyone involved will probably be laughing all the way to the bank.

Don't watch these. They're not funny enough to be worth the soul-gutting feeling of realizing what these movies are for.

Nothing.

Empty.

Spiritless.

Candy-coated capitalism.

#ptpt reviews #long post #not sorry #ptpt has opinions #i have actually watched some good ones #but this ain't it

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lord-squiggletits · 1 month

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For the Salty Asks (forgive us for the avalanche, if it's too many you can pick your top three): 2, 9, 10, 11, 13 (Optimus), 20, 25 (IDW1), 26

uhhh honestly I feel a bit like a hermit who's out of the loop on what's popular/unpopular so some of these might be completely off the mark but here we go

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Mmmm I think most of my brotp's aren't shipped as OTPs to start with, so I dunno if I have any that fit this question.

Guess the closest example for me would be OPli/ta. I don't actively platonically ship them but I think platonic is way more interesting than romantic. I don't like the fandom's interpretation of romantic O/Plita at all + I feel like as one of the original "token woman" Autobots, I'd like to see Elita unshackled from Optimus as a love interest, esp because any official interpretation of them is probably gonna be written extremely heteronormatively/token romance between an action hero and The Girl. And the fanon version of them that's Strong Independent Girlboss Elita with whipped simp husbnad Optimus is just as boring and gross.

I just don't like the vibes and would rather them have some sort of friendly or regular relationship together.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

IDW1 Slide, who I've gone into detail about my hatred of in several posts, but the TLDR is that she comes off as some kind of mouthpiece character? Not a mouthpiece as in for the author's beliefs, but it literally feels like she only exists to shit on Optimus and call him a piece of shit. Her dialogue is so cheesily written ("literally fascism" is an actual thing she says) and her bitching/lack of cultural comprehension about Cybertronian history is so prevalent, that for a long time during my IDW1 reading I was genuinely confused as to whether she was supposed to be some sort of parody/strawman/mockery of someone IRL (her character comes off almost EXACTLY like an anti-SJW stereotype of a screeching harpy calling everyone she dislikes a fascist, and it's only Barber's very obviously left-leaning writing in other parts of the story that told me that definitely wasn't the intent). So then I was wondering "okay is she gonna like, randomly become evil and turn against the good guys because she's just that petty? I mean she spends all of her time bitching about how Optimus/the Autobots/Cybertronians in general are the worst ever and she also hates humans too so I mean maybe? Half of this story already doesn't make sense so I can see it happening."

Thankfully that didn't happen, but like. Slide is so goddamn annoying and ignorant and gets way too much page time dedicated to her angry monologuing (in Unicron aka the finale of IDW1 there's literally a whole half page panel of her bitching about how Optimus is an evil tyrant while Trypticon is dying behind her and it comes off as a poorly timed, bad taste joke). The narrative treats her like she's some important individual whose feelings are important and valid, but she's fucking annoying. Any sympathy she was meant to garner is canceled out by badly written dialogue and the fact that she's a Literal Nobody of a character who seemingly only exists to bash the decades old, beloved legacy characters. For the sake of, idk, talking about how fucked up Cybertronians are that they just shrug and move on when people die? Bc apparently it's some sort of sin to be numb after 4 million years of war (and war that's literally still ongoing while Slide is bitching) and just soldier on trying to get through it? God forbid that a military hierarchy fighting to keep neo-Decepticons and various other alien threats from colonizing Earth be run like a military in which orders have to be followed, people die, but you still have to keep fighting anyways? Idefk man I just hate Slide so much she's basically the embodiment of all of the bad aspects of Barber's writing personified.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Mutineers arc in MTMTE/LL. I feel like (whether due to early cancellation and/or JRO wasting time on too many side plots to give it its full depth), I dislike how the mutineers were basically boiled down to pure evil morons who are the most disgusting, despicable evil ever and the only reason the mutiny had Good Guys (TM) in it was because they were horribly misled and not because, you know, the mutiny was 100% a valid thing to have happened as retaliation against Rodimus and Megatron's captaincy.

Like, I'm not opposed to the idea of Getaway and his cronies being assholes (I personally thought Getaway was a GREAT slow-burn, puppet master villain/anti-hero), I just dislike how the quality of their writing degraded from MTMTE to LL. Felt like they (Getaway in particular) got passed the Idiot Ball and then the actual reasons behind the mutiny were never addressed, it was kind of just "oh Getaway died horribly so we're all friends now and we forgive each other and Rodimus/Megatron will just go back to being captains now."

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

You mean besides IDW Optimus because anyone who's been on my blog for like 5 seconds knows he's my biggest problematic fave skldfjskd

Uhhh I guess in the spirit of the previous question, Getaway. I feel like the fandom's hatred for him is overblown mainly bc it's a combination of Tailgate/Cyga/te fans going "HE GOT IN THE WAY OF C/YGA/TE AND ALMOST KILLED THAT PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL" and Rodimus or Megatron stans going "Getaway hates my fave?? But my fave is a good captain and deserves the world HE'S EVIL MY FAVORITE IS BEYOND CRITICISM OR REPROACH GETAWAY IS THE EMBODIMENT OF EVIL."

Like to me it seems as if the hate for Getaway isn't normal dislike or even people hating him because he's a well written villain. It feels weirdly like ppl really take Getaway's actions personally and hate him with the kind of passion you normally see reserved for actual real life horrible people. Or they like, see Getaway as an obstacle to [favorite character]'s happiness and not as an individual who, before the quality of his writing tanked, was actually an interesting character who maybe even had good points? It just feels like people mainly hate Getaway because he's the antagonist to more popular characters/ships and so they project their defense of their faves into virulently hating him.

13. Unpopular opinion about (Optimus)?

Honestly 90% or more of the fan content I see for Optimus is really boring/uncompelling to me, or really just comes off as out of character. It's either Optimus being reduced to an accessory to be shipped with someone (usually turned into some sort of moe cutesy uke type) or him being turned into.... idk some permutation of "feral irresponsible gremlin" or "One Of The Good Ones (TM)" or "anxiety-ridden damsel who needs to be rescued by his lover" or, in some circles, "character I project my issues with authority onto and try to frame as evil for things that aren't even evil."

Idk how to specifically describe it, it's just... a vibe? Most of the Optimus content I see doesn't actually feel like him at all. It feels like it's Optimus/Orion in name only, who got so separated from canon and distorted by fanon/flanderization/shipping/porn stereotypes that he now only vaguely resembles the character he's supposed to be.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Ahahaha I don't really go into the realm of pure ships honestly, plus this is the war criminal fandom where pretty much every character has killed people or committed crimes or is just generally scarred by war so uhhh

Idk I think Thundercracker/Melissa is a pretty hinged ship? They get along and cope surprisingly well with all the shit that happens. There's no angst or betrayals or misunderstandings or enemies, they're just very respectfully together. Sdfklsajfksd

25. How would you end (IDW1)/Would you change the ending of (IDW1)?

Honestly, I'm pretty satisfied with the ending of IDW1 on both sides of the story. On Barber's side I would've preferred if every single planet including Cybertron didn't get fucking eaten leaving them all stuck on Earth together, and I would've also kept Trypticon alive while... minimizing Slide's role, to say the least. I don't have a problem with Optimus' ending bc I actually think that Optimus' arc in Unicron is like, one of the few 1000% good things Barber wrote for him it's just. It's pure Optimus in his best form.

On JRO's side I would've cut out the last panel with the alternate Lost Light and left it ambiguous as to whether the quantum jump successfully copied the ship or not. I dislike the vibes of the canon ending that implied that everyone moving on with their lives (almost universally to new and exciting and happier places) was the "sad" ending and going on a permanent road trip is the "true, happy" ending. In the author's notes I think JRO said that he wanted to give the readers an ending that would allow them to imagine their faves continuing to go on adventures, but I think compromising a good ending to a story to appease fans is fucking stupid + fandom has never needed permission or approval from the author to write alternate, happy endings. So why ruin a poignant, melancholy ending about how endings come with new beginnings and sadness/nostalgia can be mixed with hope and happiness by going "sike lol they're all living happily ever after on their space cruise."

Also I wouldn't have randomly killed off Ratchet for no reason because like. What was that even supposed to accomplish. I'm no stranger to writing major character deaths but like. He just fucking died of disease off-screen and that was that??? Why, like what was the narrative/symbolic purpose of that besides just making the ending more sad? Maybe to emphasize how going back to Cybertron was the "bad ending" and the quantum Lost Light is the "good ending" since on the LL Ratchet is still alive? But see the paragraph above for why I don't like that.

26. Most shippable character?

The most shippable character to me is whichever character I think is the sexiest, because if I think they're sexy it makes me want to ship them with everyone. "Guards, fuck that man for me" etc etc. Lmao

#squiggle answers #long post #i put / through ship names not bc i hate them but bc #i want to try and keep them from showing up in the maintags for the ship

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jakey-beefed-it · 3 months

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So there's... far too much to unpack with regard to these genuinely awful people we used to know through my shitbag nazi cousin- they were her shitbag nazi husband's shitbag nazi parents from eastern germany -but among their many, many, many objectionable qualities they saw fit to give me a weirdly horny advent calendar every christmas, where you like pluck the little window open and take the mediocre chocolate out and there's boobs underneath or whatever. And at the time we were trying so hard to just get along with these people* so I was like "right, different culture, nudity is much less taboo in Germany, this is probably a perfectly normal gift to give someone you barely know" and had to sort of go "Thhhhaaaaaaaanks!"

And like. Look. I'm straight (as Bob Belcher says, "I mean, I'm mostly straight) but I'm kinda low libido and/or demisexual idefk which and mostly, any sort of public acknowledgement of horniness just makes me slightly uncomfortable. And these women were... like I'm sure they're fine, I'm sure there are lots and lots of men who like that whole bleach-blonde plastic boobs spray tan kind of look or else it wouldn't have been a thing at various points in horny history, but I'm not one of those men, these women do not really appeal to me much at all. Like if they'd gotten me a 'flirty bespectacled goth nerdy girls' calendar it still would've been awkward as hell but at least a little more targeted, you know?

Anyhow this is getting off track. The point was that it was honestly the most painfully awkward part of a whole painfully awkward ordeal with these fucking people and so no, I don't want to respond to your fucking Facebook message ya freaks.

*knew the husband had some... dubious far-right ideas, weren't aware that he was a full-on goddamn nazi and that he'd gotten it from said parents

#like if you're gonna message my nearly monolingual ass you could at least run it through google translate first #I know you don't speak english but I don'#t speak german either ffs #boring personal bullshit #i've avoided facebook for months and only checked it today because i joined a group for 40k second edition #for the free old rules #so i can play an old dude in the neighborhood who runs the comic shop in his preferred edition #and while i was there i noticed theyv'e sent me messages #the cousin's husband's german parents have i mean

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ardourie · 3 months

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no fr like when my white mutuals post nothing but black reaction gifs its like and why is this so funny to you... im not black either which is why im careful ab it idefk

digital blackface is so bad rn and this isn’t @ that girl btw i think she’s more not thoughtful than malicious but ppl who post those things often start getting a weird connection to blackness that makes them overstep boundaries so mf bad

#💌

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butmakeitgayblog · 5 months

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I’ve not watched FTWD since S4? I think? And I’m genuinely SOBBING at your little recaps like actual tears cos what the FUCK went on when I wasn’t looking 😭 Why does my girl have Deadpool’s regrown baby hand I cannot stop laughing— Someone let Alycia take the reigns in the writers rooms of these shows cos idk how she can take any of this shit seriously bless her

I quite at s5 or 6 I can't entirely remember because tbh that shit became a chore to watch 😒 but yeah dude idefk. Idk. It's all nonsense. I guess there was a big time jump after Alicia, half dead but also simultaneously mysteriously healed (???), left the beach to go off on her own. Or so I think, I couldn't be fucked to watch it. But I guess in that time she's been kinda bouncing places? Which fantastic shampoo supplies apparently and some serious prosthetic tech with them because even tho that inspired me to yelp "whAT THE FUCK IS THAT" is still somehow moderately better than the fucking boiled and picked dry BONES OF HER ARM AND HAND WELDED INTO A METAL BRACE

I just... I have so many questions still about that. Whose idea was it? Who was like "mhmhmmhm yes let's go with the metal brace, but also.... hand me that nasty ass arm I need the bones for sumthin 👀". Whooooo boiled that thing and then scraped the flesh clean? It had to have stunk. Like wtf happened there???

There was so much going on and yet still I walked away with 52 new questions and no goddamn answers

#bisexualseraphim #ftwd #and the new hand #why... why did they make it look like that?#why did it look kinda like.wood but also like skin sewn together 🤨#if it was skin.... whOSE???? AND DIDN'T THAT STINK TOO???#if it was wood or plastic why make it look ann gnarly 😩#alicia clark is a proud bi woman (in my head) give her prosthetic she can be proud of jfc #she got salon quality hair and tight jeans to compliment that ass that wont quit #but then this fuckin frankenhand situation someone needs to be held accountable for this

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onyx-got-clowned · 6 months

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it’s Wednesday! You know what that means? Ranting about the Mormon church <3 (i have mutual at 7 and idefk what we’re doing)

Was on the ‘ex Mormon’ tag, and i reminded myself of the whole “strength of the youth” program they had with us that one Sunday, here are some of the rules that are official that i had distaste reading and hearing my peers agree with.

(Sorry if it’s hard to read)

They had one on abortion, but i couldn’t find it- all i know is that they were saying it was against god’s commandments or some stupid shi

——-

general conference this year was annoying as all hell, i don’t remember (nor care) who had talked about being celestial, but he kept fucking saying “celestial” and every time i tuned in, I’d hear him say celestial and i was so ready to drive to the fucking conference center and cut the microphone off. Then the next week, of course they have to do the whole after conference lessons, and i found out they had 5 sessions in total?! They always have one for the women, and i hate it.

———-

Mormon girls are assholes and you cannot change my mind. I’m lucky enough to feel pretty confident in my body, despite having self harm scars- and not fitting their standards of an ideal body type. So whenever these fuckers look at me weird, specifically my scars, i want to scream. Also, there are two girls in the group above me, and they both act hella gay with eachother and when called out or called queer, they start to get offended as if they weren’t just cuddling like a married couple two seconds earlier. Girls camp, my first year- they were literally spooning each other and nobody says jack fucking shit. But the second i DARE hold the hand of my friend who was having a panic attack, my mom gets informed and i get lectured. I’m pretty openly queer, so it’s only an issue because they know who I’m attracted too. Or they assume that, they think i like girls and I’m a lesbian, but I’m literally trans and gay, but like hell I’m going to come clean about that. The only reason i enjoy mutual sometimes, is because i like to sneak off and play piano.

————

i used to have a few friends, some girls my age. Then we got into young women’s instead of the activity days class and they all ditched me, well- one did, the others either moved wards or were the age group above me. But every time i open my mouth, I’m instantly treated lowly. I’ve spoken up about this too, to my parents but i can’t talk to them about anything. They protect the Mormon girls all the time, not once trying to understand why I’m upset. I also hate them because they like to judge me specifically, also these other girls who aren’t even fucking Mormon? But one of my leaders brings them to try and convert them into this hell of a cult, which isn’t working btw. But i used to be on the same bus as one of the girls, and she is super annoying, so is the other girl. They swear like a sailor, and i end up getting roped in with getting in trouble because of it. Also the fact i have to look after them and whenever i try and hangout with them, they push me off to the side and judge me.

——-

there’s still a whole truckload of things i didn’t unpack, but let’s save that for Sunday.

moral of the story? I fucking hate the Mormon church, and it shouldn’t exist. The sexism, blatant homophobia and transphobia is stupid as hell.

#Exmo #ex mormon #ex Mormonism #Ex cult #growing up mormon #Religious trauma #Church trauma #mormonism is the stupidest most traumatizing thing to happen to me ngl #mental health #Onyx vents⭐️

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parvuls · 1 year

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obligatory 6am episode thoughts (and MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF TED LASSO SPOILERS)

so far it's ep2 > ep1 > ep3 imo. this episode was basically the start of various plotlines but didn't have any big moments for any of them, so it's a little 🤷

ngl, hated zava with a passion and all of his scenes were cringe and boring to me. we already went over the dick star player arc in season 1 with jamie, and zava purposely has less redeeming moments (because he doesn't have a three-season story ahead of him). this plot could only be interesting if it leads to a break in format or character development: ted yelling and giving up on a player / rebecca firing him despite the wins because she cares about the team / west ham drama.

I was SO FOND of colin and michael in this episode!!! they were sweet but not over the top and those moments were literally so far removed from the rest of colin's scenes in the ep, which just stresses how long colin has been hiding this. really liked michael coming to sam's restaurant and their collaborative cover story, because I'm pretty tired of gay relationship drama being one dude angry that the other one is "ashamed" of him. framing the media as their enemy and not each other is a good start.

speaking of which: trent. big sigh. could SO see that plot coming from all of the interviews mentioning trent as both a good and bad presence in richmond. idk if he'd actually out colin, because it'd be hard to come back from that in the eyes of the audience, but there's definitely drama coming and SOMEONE is going to either out colin or threaten him with it, leading to him coming out himself. could be rupert, and that'd be the start of nate realizing he's gone too far. either way that's one plotline I'm hella excited for.

that being said, if michael ends up outing then, I'm 🤡

I simply do not know what to make of tish's predictions. rebecca being upside down and drenched is foreshadowing the amsterdam episode, and whoever saves her (probably ted) would be the knight/shite. but being a mother? obviously not biologically, since hannah explicitly said it's no longer an option. so... tedbecca future???? I'm not even a shipper, I honestly can't see who else she could adopt. rupert's daughter somehow? idefk

jamie was my fave this episode, followed closely by roy. thank god for that bromance, and all of jamie's sudden vocabulary moments were laughing out loud funny. praying for a shot of him reading a dictionary and explaining his sudden word knowledge 😂 am Not Amused at the scene by the bar where keeley looks at them both, but we shall see. I'm actually kinda here for a jamie/shandy thing? their vibes sort of fit lmao. also YES to sam and his chef falling in love. let the man have some happiness and normalcy!

the ted/sassy ongoing hints confuse me, and their purpose escapes me even three seasons later. remind us ted can fuck? I don't feel like it's an endgame thing.

I'm not touching the jake thing with a ten feet pole, jfc. jake seems like a nice guy in theory, but going out with your patient/marriage counselor + not telling your co-parent that you're bringing a new man into your kid's life? no. michelle is on thin ice with me.

#that's it I'm tired I'll think harder later #ted lasso spoilers #text

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cpunkhobie · 10 months

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Hi, i know some people get annoyed at these questions so i want to say this is genuine because i want to learn and understand more! but still am sorry if it is rude or annoying, but what does it mean to be a bisexual lesbian? either to you personally or in general? again sorry again if this is an annoying question, i just though they were separate and i want to understand how they might be coexisting

Nah it’s chill idm getting question abt it. I have some posts I’ll link that go in depth n shit since idr have the energy to explain rn hope that’s chill ^^ :

My personal feelings towards the label n history with it

How it works for me + just more rambling abt exclusionism and labels place in queer culture

On invading spaces

After reading those posts though I do have more to say after unwillingly seeing the opinions of , idefk what to call them I’ll just call them exclusionists.

But a sentiment I have seen a LOT especially among exclusionists in their 20s-30s who try and police the word lesbian, is that bisexual lesbians were something invented recently and they’ve “never seen it before the past few years.” And to that I say YES WE HAVE

I don’t have the internet or energy to find legible sources rn so look it up in your own time but bisexual lesbianism and boydykes gender fuckery is something that Allison Bechdel made comics about AT LEAST 20 YEARS AGO. Which means we were AT LEAST in the general lesbian community’s consciousness at that point.

The queer community is fucking VAST. There are millions of us so in the same way that not everyone has the same experience of being queer, not everyone has the same definitions of labels. This is something we’ve always known. However just because two peoples experiences and definitions are different, it does not mean that one of those experiences are invalid.

This is the main thing that pisses me off, because even if you don’t understand an identity you can at least accept it. My experiences with the queer community growing up was one in which bisexual lesbians or bi-fags or boydykes is just a thing people were. If you loved women you were a lesbian. That my experience of my identity, and the issue isn’t people not understanding my identity, it’s that they’re not accepting it. It’s ARGUING with me about it’s validity.

Queerness was never meant to be fit into a box, it was meant to break outside of it. Thats why people hated us and still hate us. So what’s the point on making more boxes for people in our own community? What’s the fucking point? What’s the point of then enforcing those boxes? A queer identity doesn’t have to make sense it’s QUEER

ok my internet is literally going a mile an hour rn so I can’t type fast enough to read over this or polish it up or keep a coherent train of thought. If it’s incoherent oh well, hope this helps lol

#jonahs lemonade stand #queer #d slur #f slur #genuinely just spitballing here I’m tired af

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lyntergalactic · 4 months

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lyn reads triple zero - finale

by which i mean i finished it last night and i have Thoughts

first off, it was a decently enjoyable book when i managed to turn off my brain. solid 3 stars. there's a lot of good here that i actually really liked, it's just... unfortunately balanced out by a lot of bad that made me want to throw my phone across the room.

so here we go. thoughts, in no particular order:

1.) i genuinely love the characters. even ones like kal who i hate as much as i love. i can see why people who don't do more than a surface reading like him. personally, i love how crunchy a character he is and how all his many flaws make him this unintentionally complex character. i just want to pick his brain apart.

i could ramble on about everyone but it's a lot of "these feelings i already had about these characters have been reinforced like crazy" which basically means i'm fascinated by all of them, want to get all of them therapy, and also want to write all the fic where they get to have healthier relationships lol

2.) there's a lot of yelling in tcw side of fandom about how the clones should get chances to act like the dumb college age kids they are, and they get to in this book!! i think some of my favorite moments were when the boys were egging each other on and giving each other shit. especially that fi and sev bit with the ladder, at least until sev hurts himself. like how fucking dumb is that but also how fucking typical of 20-ish year olds?

3.) fi is gay. fi is so gaaaaay. there are so many little points in his narration where it's like "ah, yes. he is absolutely attracted to [X] person" but beyond that, his whole little subplot about feeling like something in his life is missing? wanting a normal life and a girlfriend, etc? it's juxtaposed against etain and darman so much that it comes across like fi is in love with darman and just doesn't realize.

yes, i have a new ship. yes, i'm going to write horribly angsty fic for it. why do you ask?

4.) etain and darman are cute when KT isn't pushing her weird ass heteronormative agenda. though my aroace ass literally yelled at my phone "YOU'VE KNOWN HIM FOR A CUMULATIVE WEEK AND CHANGE, YOU DON'T LOVE HIM YET" when they had their first lil heart to heart and slept together that first time. but, again, they're young 20-somethings who might die at any time, i can forgive them that.

shit, i can even forgive etain's whole pregnancy thing--to a point--because she's a dumb kid who is going through a crisis of faith. (more on that specifically in a sec) but jfc kal's reaction to it all was--idefk. he's absolutely right to be furious with etain. what she did was stupid in the first place, not well thought through, and she's putting a hell of a lot at risk by going through with it.

but everything else about his reaction was just--dude. what the actual fuck. and 60% of that is his clinging to his bizarre conservative mando ideals while 40% is his utter disdain for the jedi and i just--UUUUGH.

5.) every time the jedi came up in narration. every. fucking. time. i wanted to scream. i know KT has terrible opinions on them. i've read most of the other books!! but oh my god it was especially bad.

do i think it would be interesting for etain and bardan to have crises of faith because of the war? absolutely. in fact, it even makes sense that they would!! but the way KT goes about it is just fucking baffling.

which is really highlighted by that one conversation etain has with ordo where he says "nah, you've got a worse life than i do because i was adopted but you were given away to strangers by your parents" and i'm just

THE FUCK DO YOU THINK HAPPENS TO NON-JEDI KIDS WHEN THEY GET ADOPTED, ORDO???? THEY'RE GIVEN AWAY TO STRANGERS BY THEIR PARENT(S).

there is just. so much. so much about the jedi that's so wrong and that if it was written rightly should've fucking changed entire character interactions and plot and it infuriates me.

6.) everything about the mission is just. plot holes all over. if i take it at surface value and treat it like a bad action movie that's just here for entertainment i'm fine, but the second i stop to actually think about how this whole mission is happening i'm just--that's not how this works. that's not how any of this works. how are you all not dead???

but, you know. whatever. i can deal with it. there were highly entertaining moments. i literally cackled out loud when fi told kal that he and sev planted explosives in the one dude's car and kal was like "... the car i was in?? FI." and i'm real intrigued by bardan as like... the commandos' Q figure. it's highly entertaining.

7.) i have A Lot of Opinions about the weird ass brand of masculinity KT's characters subscribe to. but one thing i appreciate is that her male characters cry and aren't thought of as less for it. it's one bastion of good in a sea of blegh.

8.) i mostly stopped capping bits as i got sucked in but i did nab this bit which made me laugh and is a good bit to end on. (i forgot what my other points were gonna be; work distracted me lkajsdf)

fi as a musical fan is my new favorite headcanon. i don't care if grease doesn't actually exist in the gffa.

also i need a crossover with mass effect where he and garrus exchange sniping playlists.

#lyn reads repcomm

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vaelzz · 5 months

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Okay I made a weird electronic song.

One of the many things I've been learning over the past couple of years, this one drove me crazy in particular because I had so many lanes of automation and these plugins are dreadfully buggy I wasted a couple of weeks trying to fix things which was a massive waste of time. I made the artwork to go alongside this but I also do plan to make a video for it. I have a vague storyline planned out in my head so it would be cool to eventually turn that idea into something. But yee made a weird song, idefk what genre you'd call it but it's something.

#Music #Art #idiovoidi #Electronic #Dark

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cartoonrival · 1 year

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the echidna soultouch thing is SO funny since LITERALLY before its even mentioned there is a hedgehog echidna couple so its already disproven before its introduced. although js joining knuckles in the beginning was said to be bc of the soultouch but i think its more of a retcon. and that would actually lend for cool shit if the soultouch was framed as racist comphet weak mind control but. it fucking wasnt so what was the point. also the fact its echidna only but the echidnas were only seperated by their technological prowess implies that some racist echidna just mutated all of angel island's echidnas. which i guess would make sense bc then the lost tribe and albilon echidnas wouldnt have soultouch

when js and knux first met there was some shit about being drawn to each other and not knowing why which was i think implying soultouch but i only picked up on that cause i already knew what soultouch was. locke says that the reason they evolved for soultouch is cause echidnas develop the logic sides of their brains more than other parts so they need some genetic Thing to make them find partners. which is like yeah ToT ok so echidnas are just too developed biologically to be in relationships w other mobians? ok ?? idefk this shit is so goddamn stupid why did he need to write social darwinism into his dumb fucking spinoff comic

#asks157 #archieposting #sth

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wall-maria-fritz · 2 years

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I just dreamt of Levi and holy shit should I make this a fic?

Hello! Yes! I'm still alive!!! I had to stop writing bc Ms. Depression is just so ✨💕💖obsessed 💖💕✨with me uwu.

Alright so I just really had to share this dream I had last night because I can't stop thinking about it, and it's got a lot of fanfic potential! Let me know if you wanna see it written down, or if you just want to share with me YOUR Levi dreams! Pls, I wanna know what your nasty lil subconsciousnessess (?) conjure up of him lmao.

Things written in parentheses () are my real life thoughts and reactions to the dream~ So here's my dream: I had cheerleading practice (I was an actual cheerleader back in the ye old days of high school.) And since it was just training, I was in workout clothes-- the tiniest cycling shorts, a good ol' sports bra, and since I've never liked showing my small ass boobs, I had a loose crop top thrown over the sports bra. But here's the thing; the crop top had a big print saying "LEVI'S" in blocky letters. NOT the brand logo of Levi Strauss m'kay? No "est.'s" no nothing. Just that:

"L E V I ' S" in big bold letters across my boobs. And that was fine. I was just doing the usual routine I did, with all the stunts and stuff. And then Levi arrived.

Levi was in the dance hall.

LEVI ARRIVED AT THE DANCE HALL AND I HAD THAT STUPID CROP TOP ON.

I started panicking, trying to hide my shirt from him, lest he thinks that-- god forbid-- that I had a crush on him. Not that I did! Of course. (This is a lie.)

And did I mention that the "LEVI'S" not "Levi" no, the "LEVI'S" is all over my boobs?!????

At this point, I wasn't even sure if he's already seen me with the shirt, shaking my ass, and doing your run of the mill cutesy cheerleader-y stuff.

And then I happened to remember (bc of course, even in my fantasies, my own brain is still against me) that Levi is our star basketball player (????? idefk. ????? This 5'3 man??? a basketball player???? Also, back in my highschool boys only really could choose between volleyball and basketball teams to be an athlete in. It was very lame.) And that I had to introduce him at our opening intramural parade, (It was a lil' gimmick my school had where a cheerleader was paired to a varsity player to cheer for them during their intros. We were a small school so we had time for this) which was why Levi, and the whole bulk of the basketball team is here, so that we can practice the flow of the opening and I asdgvkle;shkaeoshj

And so inevitably, the basketball dudes and my fellow cheerleaders have noticed my shirt, and I wouldn't be surprised if one of the guys have already told Levi and/or Levi's already seen me in it thanks to all the dance hall mirrors, depsite me constantly ensuring that my back was turned to him.

I was blushing, (screaming, crying, shitting even) and just constantly cursing at myself with why. Why now? Why today?

Soon, our coaches and the Sports Coordinator whistled, calling us over to formation to finally practice for the intrams opening, and were told to pair up.

I don't even look up.

My eyes stayed glued to my rubber shoes.

I felt Levi walk up to me, and wordlessly stand next to me.

He doesn't say anything. Doesn't comment on anything. And I still refuse to look at him.

Everyone's snickering at us. While i'm just standing there, looking everywhere but Levi, and knowing just what a sight we made-- the basketball team's star player and his blushing, stuttering cheerleader wearing her tiny little shorts with her tiny little crop top with big bold letter's proclaiming who's she is, all over her tiny little breasts.

While waiting for instructions, and watching the others demo where the players enter/where the cheerleaders do the stunts for their players, I sneak a peak up at Levi.

And because I'm not God's favorite, Levi catches me peeking up at him. His steely eyes flash down to mine. And just as quickly, I whip my head back to face front-- definitely not conspicuous winkwink.

He shortens the distance between us the tiniest bit while still listening to the intructions. Still looking ahead, he whsipers to me, "Have you memorized your routine?"

"Of course!!!" I replied way too loudly, way too enthusiastically. I blush even redder.

Still schooling his face into the usual composure Levi has, his lips give me an almost imperceptible quirk up. if it weren't for the odd playfulness in his eyes, I would have thought his jaw muscles just jumped.

"Good," was all he said.

Eventually, I had to perform my short routine for Levi's entrance. Our Sports Coordinator who was leading the practice, pretends to holler out his name, "Our three-year MVP and Team Captain, Levi Ackerman!"

His teammates and my squadmates whoop and cheer for him as an "audience" would, as a photo of him mid-dribble is flashed on screen. The drummers start the beat, and Levi comes jogging in, looping around the whole court, as I-- with a red, red face-- start my routine.

And my god, it was not like any other cheer routine I ever had to do in all my years in that snooty, catholic high school I went to, because I was giving everyone front row seats to some hardcore ass shakery with a sprinkling of toe-touches and round offs here and there, for the sake of calling it a cheer routine.

I finish it all off with my arms up in a high V, my body straight and as rigid as an arrow, while Levi shoots a ball, as the gym goes wild. (somehow we were already at the gym and not the dance hall??) My coach hollers out an "Excellent [My surname]!"

With the ball bouncing away behind him, Levi turns to me with a debilitatingly handsome half-smile. I could feel the rapid rise and fall of my chest from the exertion of the routine. But more than that, I could feel my heart thumping, almost as loud as the drums beating away at the corner of the gym.

Levi comes to firmly squeeze my shoulder-- a confident, reassuring squeeze-- and says to me in a conspiratorial voice that was for my ears only, almost like he was telling me a dirty secret--

"Great job. That's my girl."

AAAAAAAHHHHHHH

So yep, that's me exposing just how Levi trash I am lmao. I want to write something self-indulgent based on this dream so baaadd. I don't even know what yet. But the idea of a flustered cheerleader who quite literally has Levi's name all over her, just activates the same brain that wishes Levi would mark her and claim her as his. (Shut up, you think the same thing too, don't lieee)

That's all! Also, I see AALLL of your comments and reblogs and tags and requests!!! Especially on The Wife! You guys, honestly, you all warm my heart. Thank you. I've been so, so sad, and your little squeals and squees have brightened many a sad, sad day. Imagine crying to the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack, and then ding! Tumblr tells me you guys loved The Wife so much, ya'll are begging me for a sequel! And you know what? Maybe I will give you a sequel!!!

ALSO PLS I NEED A BETA READER ANY TAKERS??? I SWEAR I WILL FANGIRL WITH YOU ALL DAY ANY DAY AND I AM ALWAYS WILLING TO BETA READ BACK AKDBFLAESFGBKLES there's never enough Levi/AOT fics to read imo, so I really wouldn't mind~

But yeah! Thank you for being patient with me and my unplanned 5 month long hiatus. I love this community so, so much.

Maria's scribblings MASTERLIST

#levi ackerman x reader #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x oc #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman #dreaming about levi ackerman #levi ackerman dream #levi dream #dream #maria rambles #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #cheerleader levi ackerman x cheerleader

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