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#which is fine i guess

spineless-lobster · 7 days

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Thank you to @nocturnal-cryptid for giving me this stupid and incredibly amazing idea, I know you don’t go here but this will be in my mind forever

#this is so ridiculous I’m in love #also now I have this song stuck in my head #which is fine I guess #I’ve been giggling to myself about this for about half an hour #hades 2 #hades game #hypnos hades

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soldier-poet-king · 3 months

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TO BE CLEAR I am fine I am not even weepy rn I am cozy in bed reading a terrible book for bookclub! (No really it is AWFUL and I'm gonna teasingly give R so much grief for picking it, I love her and she has the WORST taste in books).

I was just. Thinking. And it occurred to me that I've gone from crying 24/7 to not at all and tbh??? Don't Like That?

#the duality of fran #im fine! work has been weird but im settling in to the new place #still have not revealed my tats oops #but yeah ssris be wildin man #they tried me on some atypical ones and that was THE worst experience of my life. wellbutrin. i hate u #so we're back to ye ol prozac #which is fine i guess #im glad i dont have blunted emotions. my mental health isnt worth that <- guy whose entire existence is based around emotions #its just??? weird?

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lazulisong · 8 months

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urgh say a couple prayers and tell my damn twin to get their ass in gear -- im looking at 4250 as my out of pocket and that doesn't include post op expenses ٩( ᐛ )و

(it's surprisingly validating that an american insurance outfit looked at my case and agreed it was medically and/or psychologically necessary enough to cover top surgery lmao)

anyway i should not have looked that up when i was still recovering from the adrenaline but everything about this is coming together so i'm choosing to believe that the universe is moving towards this! the lawd will provide if i work hard and believe.

options that i'm looking at (since the ONE TIME i was like "why am i bringing my big TN with the top surgery insert with me, it's heavy and i want to read on my ipad" i get The Message)

setting up a payment plan with the hospital, which would involve paying a deposit and then paying monthly

seeing if i qualify for financial aid from the hospital system

juli says there might be a place that will give me a grant

overtime. so much overtime. but not enough to make myself sick.

part time work from home if i can find one or troll wework

original stories on kofi (probably pay what you want)

crowdfunding but i don't want to bet on it

fortunately oregon put a paid leave program into effect so i have options after i burn through my sick leave. i did some napkin math and i think, between my out of pocket and post surgery supplies, im looking at 5000$, but 6000$ would be a lot more comfy.

post op expenses look to include

"a really big comfy robe" - @dadvans

scar care stuff

high protein shelf stable drinks

mastectomy pillow and ice packs

food delivery and/or rideshare as needed

suitable tops (for extremely obvious reasons called "i could have probably called it a reduction and gotten it covered for back pain" i don't own any buttoned tops)

(i wish i could lie to myself about this but i am going to eating. a lot. of door dash. and riding the bus with new scars doesn't sound uh like something the group chat is going to let me get away with.)

circee flatly informed me that she Was coming for the surgery and she Was going to take care of me, so that's a load off my mind.

mom can't come up so i might see about going down south after the Drains are out? google says three weeks off work so that could be doable. (mom is kind of big mad she can't take personal charge of the Drains but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

#meg what is your problem #top surgery adventures #i have a feeling that most info is on reddit #which is fine i guess #but i think i'm going to keep records and supply lists to pass on

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artinandwritin · 26 days

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Some warm up doodles bc I've been working on finishing up stuff for the upcoming college assessment non stop the past few days (pls excuse me for that lmao)

Niv during his assassin days being way too baby to be an assassin + a slightly older Sunni! Her hair is sm fun to draw

And, for good measure, some of the homework i've been working on! This is part of a publication inspired by the library I work at and it's about the deep contrast between the adult side of the library and the children's side and this is one of the pages for the kids' side!

(more under the cut!)

So is this one lmao

And this is a little storyboard I made for another piece of homework!

#im going insane here #i've got 6 weeks of homework to revise in 1 and a half week #which is fine i guess #but there's just a lot of getting things ready to print/ready to public/animated #a lot of organising too #which sucks cuz i tend to lose my overview quite easily when it's so much stuff #welp #we'll see #anyways <33 #httyd #oc #artinandwritin's art #sunniva larson #niv larson

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running-in-the-dark · 3 months

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and I just realised I can't sleep tonight 🙃 I have to go see my GP as soon as they open at 8 (to get a note so I can hopefully still do the oral exam for my thesis). I can't sleep without meds. but if I take the meds I can't wake up after only a few hours. sooo. I guess I'll be awake until probably like 10:00 or something, at least.

#which is fine I guess #since I woke up very very late.... but still. anything that pushes my sleep schedule even further back is not great #but hey at least I'll probably look like I'm actually sick 🙃#it sure would be cool to be able to sleep! and to only sleep like.. 8 hours. maybe even 10. and feel rested #but no I can't even do that.#everything would be easier if only I could sleep. I wouldn't need the meds. which cause side effects. which are unpleasant and make things #worse.#maybe one day 🙃🙃#personal

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likealittleheartbeat · 2 years

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Social justice, shipping, and ideology: when fandom becomes a crusade, things get ugly

by Aja Romano for Vox

“Shipping is as old as fandom itself. But traditionally, fans never expected their particular pairing to "become canon" — that is, to officially happen on a show or in a storyline. In modern fandoms, however, fans of movies and TV shows often root for their ships to become canon the way sports fans root for their teams. If the football fans’ goal is to see their team win the Super Bowl, the shipper’s goal is to see their ship "win" by entering the narrative as an official storyline.

These shippers collectively form group narratives about their favorite ship. More and more, these group narratives are evolving into unshakable belief systems that usually take one of three increasingly common forms:

1) The belief that the ship in question is unquestionably going to become canon

Historically in fandom, liking a ship meant just that: You liked a ship. Anything more than that would get you a lot of side-eyeing. In the Harry Potter fandom, the advent of Ron and Hermione becoming a couple in the sixth book led to a very famous (and still ongoing) meltdown among Harry/Hermione shippers.

At the time — fandom in 2005 — their unwavering faith that Harry/Hermione would eventually become canon was widely seen by fandom at large as extreme, because shipping was typically viewed as something that existed outside of canon and generally had no particular relationship to the course of canon at all.

Today, expecting your ship to become canon is more or less the norm. But there are lots of complications with this line of thinking. Even if a ship does become canon, it might not become canon in a way that fans like — Buffy/Spike, anyone? And of course it might not be guaranteed to remain canon. Breakups happen, actors leave shows, and, as The 100 fans were brutally reminded earlier this spring, characters die.

Serial narratives are fueled by drama, and they often create that drama by shaking up character relationships. Happily ever after is a rarity for couples in fictional stories, at least while they’re still in process. But fans pushing for their ships to become canon are typically looking ahead to what they call "endgame" — they believe that when all is said and done, after all the drama, their ship will, essentially, be the one that comes out victorious. Generally, they consider any alternative to be unpardonable.

Clinging to this kind of all-or-nothing view of a character pairing is, in general, a recipe for massive disappointment.

2) The belief that the ship should become canon because it involves an underrepresented identity

Fans of ships involving queer characters, characters of color, disabled characters, and other drastically underserved identities often lobby creators to acknowledge and embrace the validity of their ships. They frequently cite the sad but widely observed fact that characters who fall within these underserved identities rarely get to have meaningful canonical relationships written about them.

The problem with explicitly linking shipping to this kind of political platforming and social justice activism is that these arguments are often self-serving — that is, they’re more about having a specific ship become canon than about achieving social progress.

#GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend is a recent fandom trend directed at Marvel creators, but even though many Avengers fans have used it to advocate for general queer representation in the Marvel universe, the vast majority have used it to advocate for a specific ship — Stucky, or Steve/Bucky: Captain America shipped with his lifelong best friend.

Conflating ships that involve underrepresented identities with the desire for inclusion gets especially dicey when it leads fans to prioritize support for their ship over other intersectional concerns. For example, in Teen Wolf fandom, fans of the "Sterek" ship (Derek/Stiles) have frequently accused the show of "queerbaiting," or exploiting their specific queer male pairing without any intention of following through on it — even though the show’s creator, Jeff Davis, is a gay man who has already inserted several queer relationships in the show’s storylines, and even though Sterek, as it currently exists within canon, is a physically abusive relationship.

The prioritization of a ship at the expense of other intersectionality concerns is also present on The 100, which earlier this year featured a queer canonical relationship between main character Clarke and the warrior queen Lexa, a.k.a. Clexa. Clexa fans have been so focused on advocating for Clexa — even after the ship effectively ended with Lexa’s untimely death — that they’ve come under fire for ignoring the many elements of the show that some fans feel are racist and problematic.

In these and many similar cases, one might wonder if a given show’s overall progressiveness matters less to ideologically driven shippers than the ship itself.

3) The belief that the ship is already canon but the creators are unable or unwilling to confirm or admit it

This belief argues that the people in charge of the narrative are deliberately concealing the "truth" about a relationship. Because it involves an official cover-up, this particular ideological thread is particularly well-suited to ships involving real people (real person fiction, or RPF) and ships involving fictional queer characters. It almost always escalates into outright fandom conspiracies, especially if the ship involves a (perceived) real-life relationship between two same-sex celebrities.

Perhaps the most notable example of this kind of deep fandom conspiracy is the great Larry Stylinson conspiracy in the One Direction fandom, followed by TLJC in the Sherlock fandom and swaths of conspiratorial RPF shippers in numerous other fandoms, from Supernatural to Twilight to The X-Files.

The obvious problem here is that, like all good conspiracy theories, those built on the insistence that a pairing is real but secret are designed to explain away every contradictory bit of "evidence" that a pairing isn’t real. And like all conspiracies, this level of shipping can lead to hardcore, alienating belief systems.

Ships often involve a combination of these three basic branches of belief. For instance, Harry Potter’s Harry/Hermione shippers believed their ship represented a philosophical approach to love and Harry Potter as a whole. And Sherlock’s Johnlock conspiracists consistently point to the progressive nature of their ship as a reason for its inevitability. As one fan put it, "What a minority of LGBTQIA viewers label as ‘queer baiting’ is but a tool that serves the slow narrative of how Sherlock Holmes and John Watson finally end up in a relationship."

Of course, combining these three ideological strains serves to make the overall shipper ideology that much stronger — and that makes interactions within and between different ideologies that much more fraught.

When shipping is treated as an ideology, it creates deep tensions between fans and creators

These days, because so many fans treat shipping as a serious matter of urgency, they tend to approach the fan-creator divide feeling utterly justified in their belief that a ship will be or should be canon. Yet creators and writers generally have no idea what kind of belief system has amassed around a ship until members of that ship approach them to try to discuss it.

When a single fan or a group of fans tweet at creators asking whether a ship will become canon, creators generally aren’t aware of the tremendous amount of background attached to said ship — the thought, speculation, love, emotional investment, and collective justification that has gone into a fandom’s perception of a pairing.

Creators and other cast and crew members who interact with fans tend to get asked basic questions like, "Will this ship be endgame?" But most can't answer, and often don't even know, because of the many factors involved in producing a storyline.

In other words, the creators are seeing only the tip of the iceberg that is a fandom's investment in a ship, and fans are seeing only the tip of the iceberg that is the behind-the-scenes production of the canonical storyline.

Add in the fact that both fans and creators usually believe they can see the whole iceberg, and the result is inherent miscommunication. Fans might come away feeling like creators are being evasive or brushing off their need to have their ship to be canon; creators might come away feeling like fans are placing too much emphasis on a single aspect of the plot at the expense of everything else they’re trying to do within a storyline.

This disconnect can lead to feelings of resentment on both sides. It can also lead to creators accusing fans of wanting to control their narratives.

The rise in ideological fan beliefs is less about control and more about equal partnerships

The modern state of fandom involves an uneasy imbalance between fans and creators. The two groups both encourage each other creatively but lack a mutual partnership and mutual understanding of how fans’ collective creation might contribute to a storyline.

Though it would have been taboo in the past, fans who engage with creators in 2016 tend to assume they’re on equal footing with those creators, thanks to their role as active consumers of the narrative: Here is what we want your TV show to do for us, the paying customers who watch it.

But creators tend to engage with fans via a top-down approach. They are still viewing themselves as the powers that be, the ones in control, even if the fans aren’t. This is how we wind up with the kind of supreme disconnect between fans and writers like the one that has existed between Supernatural and its fan base for most of the show's interminable run on air: A substantial number of the show’s fans are collaboratively creating a vision of a completely different show than the one being produced in the writers’ room.

It's possible that shipping as ideology has arisen in part because of these imbalanced power dynamics with creators. After all, if you’re worried the creators won't listen to you, or won’t consider what you have to say as equivalent to their own opinion, what better way to justify what you have to say than to package it not as once-shameful fan desire, but as ideology?

It’s easy to stand back from fandom and point to shipping behavior as a hallmark of fan entitlement. But it would be far more accurate to say that shipper ideology is ultimately about fans trying to find a way to gain equity with creators, to work with them in a tacit collaboration.

There’s no easy answer to this dilemma, but awareness is a start

For creators who are winging their interactions with fans, knowing when a ship has become a collective fandom ideology, and why, might help give you a bit of autonomy from your fandom. At the very least, it might help you remain neutral in your presentation of various ships and plot points and avoid unexpected pitfalls.

Meanwhile, for fans feeling fatigue over an embattled struggle to make a ship canon, and the crushing disappointment of setbacks or failure, it might help to remember that ships don’t have to be canon in order to be transformative and meaningful on both a personal and cultural level. Look at Star Trek’s Kirk/Spock: that ship never became canon, but it remains one of the most compelling ships ever created, and within canon it gave us one of pop culture’s most enduring symbols of love — their hands touching through the glass.

Henry Jenkins famously said that queer fanfiction "is what happens when you take away the glass." And, sure, it’s increasingly possible that savvy creators might go ahead and take away the glass for us. But that doesn’t negate the power of fans being able to do it on their own, without anyone’s help.

Shipping is exciting, fun, and often a progressive and empowering experience. And if a ship ultimately becomes canon, so much the better. But when shipping becomes an ideology, tantamount to a religion, it makes a story’s creators pretty much tantamount to gods. In essence, even though that level of shipping may grow out of a wish to maintain parity with creators, it’s ultimately de-empowering to fans, making them dependent on creators for validation.

But fans are validated through their love for the source material; they’ve never needed more than that. Turning that source material into a game to be won only turns all involved players into winners and losers.”

#long post #fandom problems #i've been having a lot of feelings the past month or so about shipping and modern tastes #ever since the release of heartstopper #which i found to be a horrendous and gimmicky netflix rainbow flag cash grab #with stilted performances and absolutely zero nuance #and everyone's obsession with it has had me feeling so lonely #alongside a real alienation from tv and movie critics positive reviews for these basic-ass gay films and shows #there's a certain strain of fandom that obsesses over ships and the reproduction of familiar tropes without any subversion #and they don't seem to have any interest in anything beyond that #except maybe a weak pop feminist take #which is fine i guess #and that strain did free me to focus on my emotional experiences to stories that opened the whole world up to me #but i also need and relish the motifs and themes and craft and philosophies that go into a work #i love to start to understand my emotional reaction and where it came from #and experience feelings from stories beyond *squeeeeee*#and there's so little of that work in fandom #It makes me want to go into academia but i honestly doubt it would be any better and I really don't want to write papers professionally lol

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simplyghosting · 1 year

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Me: Fighting is terrible! We should be able to solve our day-to-day problems with civil words 😇 🙏

Also me: If you ruin my Tupperware organization again, no one will find your body afterwards

#ghost posts #the ‘I’m a healer but..’ meme #I found lids under the bowls there is a tray for the lids!!! put them in there!!#my parents have me fix the kitchen organization bc I’m the only one that can do it apparently #which is fine i guess #but at least help me out by not throwing stuff in after I fix it!!!!

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itstimeforstarwars · 7 months

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It's amazing that a lot of recreation centers don't offer swim lessons for adults. We live in a fucking desert. None of us learned to swim naturally. Let me learn now that I have the money for it.

#chit chat #three rec centers within 45 minutes of me #only one offers classes for adults and it is exclusively private lessons #which is fine i guess #at least it is an option #the rest of them are 'here's classes for your child under 10!'

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pinkie-satan · 9 months

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i was planning to watch barbie this weekend with my friends, even had the outfit ready, but i found out after the movie they're going to our mutual friend's party and since i'm not invited it would be kinda awkward so i think i won't go

#i'll just watch it online someday #there are more parties my different groups of friends throw this weekend but i'm not invited to any 💀#i know about it all cuz they don't really hide it #which is fine i guess #i just wanted to wear a pink outfit tbh

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toadallytickles · 2 years

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I can’t lie I’ve definitely imagined tying you up, alternating between tickling your armpits and your nipples. Also worshipping your tummy, hips, and inner thighs just to hear what you sound like when you melt 🤤

ADJKGDVJHFFHJJFJGGIIFJOPYKTDJUTYUHGGJKKJHHJJ WOW ACTUALLY ILLEGAL 🤯

#so like how I usually session lmao #which iS FINE I GUESS #🫥#literally who has nipples.. i dont anymore… bye #I’m really cute when I melt … perhaps sexy too… just a heads up lol #Thank you for the hot fantasy~ 💕#my posts #answered #ask #anon #nsft #tickle community #tickles #Fantasy Asks

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psalmsofpsychosis · 2 years

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This is gonna sound weird, but i'll forever be confused by the feedback artists get. I come across a work on ao3 and i'm like "hmm, the writing style is ordinary and the tone is lackluster, it's okay, there's effort put here so i appreciate it. I estimate this having like, 5 comments and maybe 20-something kodus" and then i look and it's got 95 comments, 500+ kodus, 80 bookmarks. And then there are works that have my soul trying to escape my body like "this is unbelievably intricate and complex and gorgeous and it's such unconventional and fresh and creative take, the writer's voice is so unique and delicate and enticing, i bet this is up there in stratosphere with the amount of feedback this has because it's so exceptional in execution" and then i look and it barely has 8 comments, maybe 20-something kodus, and it's just. It's incredibly confusing to me because i always assume that quality execution where the artist's heart is in it is obvious, other people see it like i do, and they most definitely appreciate it like i do. And there are the few people on the cusp of these two categories, people who write well and get a lot of recognition for it, good for them, but 9 out of 10 cases of good writers i stumble upon, they're practically invisible. This is less of a phenomenon in visual arts because people seem to be more freehanded with those, it's an easier medium to navigate i guess. But literature and fanfic? i'll never understand the way people navigate those. Leaving aside the "first 50 popular fics of any ao3 tag are hot dumpster fire" rule of thumb (which is very true, and the number goes higher the more popular something is), the rest of it just feels like lucky strikes to me and not really a matter of quality execution. It's not a lucky strike, it's the fact that people lean towards supporting their friends and people they love rather than judging the actual quality of the work

#which is fine i guess #like it's really about people liking the person so they love the work too and offer lots of feedback #and vice versa #it's just that i really look for quality creations and i dont really care if i'm friends with someone #my friendship with someone doesn't decide the quality of their art lmao though i WILL love them with all my heart #but the fact that people seem to only engage with and offer feedback to art whose creators they like???? infinitely baffling to me #it's weird to me because way back in my teen years i'd say ''i want my work acknowledged and loved''#and i'd be told ''honey you need to find more friends who love your work'' and i'd be like ??????#this is not a comtext of friendship i need people to acknowledge my work because there's skill in it; it's competent and it's creative #and it's good work. it's good execution of the craft #and the idea that i had to offer myself up and ''befriend'' someone and be actively available and responsive to them #just to have the good craftsmanship of my work noticed was very irritating and annoying to me. A craft is a craft; friendship and affinity #is an entirely different concept; these two shouldn't correlate imo #kinda unrelated but this is also why the concept of ''networking'' makes me barf like #''oh you need to chimmy your way in you need connections'' fuck you the quality of my work speaks for itself #i dont want to offer availability and a ''friendship'' i do not mean just to just to have my craft acknowledged it feels so intrusive #and unfair #anyway yeah. this is not hipster talk but a lot of writers and artists that i adore are more or less invisible and i'll never get it #my brain has a pre-installed ''good work is appreciated'' medule because i appreciate good work #(given the artist is a normal person and not a fucking asshole)#but to me it feels like people say ''i appreciate people and only in extension of that i appreciate the work''

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