#will probably delete this soon but just rambling

[kangals]

way back in 2014, probably a few weeks or months after you posted that picture of boone with the stick on his head, i checked your blog out and so dearly enjoyed all the dogposting that i followed. i think you were the first dogblr blog i actually followed at the time, but it's been ages and my memory is bad, so i'm not fully sure. it wasn't long before then--2012 i think?--that i had gotten a new dog of my own, a border collie. iirc he and boone were just about the same age.

in 2018 i lost that blog i'd followed you with, and a lot of connections with it. i didn't return until 2021, and when i did, i didn't refollow most of the old blogs; i don't think i even really went looking for them. it took me a while to get back into the swing of using tumblr.

last september, my border collie had a sharp health decline, and i had to say goodbye. it's not the first time i've had to put a pet down, but i think it was the hardest. i'm still not over it. even just typing this now, i feel raw.

then in march or so, i made a new fandom friend who knows you, and i enthusiastically recalled following you before and how much i enjoyed it. i didn't even know about stellina, and now there's kep too! but... i also didn't know you'd lost boone. i followed because i still really enjoy your blog, and i love your collies too. and butters!!! so glad she's still here!

idk what made me look tonight... maybe because i talked about my old border collie with someone today. i went looking for the posts immediately around when you lost boone, because i guess some part of me wanted to know what happened. i spent the better part of an hour (maybe longer?) reading posts from the weeks before the decline, and then the loss, and then the deluge of old boone pictures after, and i've been crying pretty much the whole time just reading your posts and tags about him.

and this is a long and windy way to get to saying thank you. i'm glad you shared your grief, though that seems like a weird thing to say. there's something cathartic about crying over someone else's dog when you still hurt about your own, and knowing you're not alone in that kind of sorrow. boone was such a beautiful boy. i'll never forget that silly post that made me check your blog out in the first place, or the years of posts i stuck around for after. i wish i'd remembered to follow sooner, but the archive is still there, and it's so fun looking through all those old posts about him and his quirks and antics. he was amazing.

sorry for the length of this, i just... really wanted you to know that he touched yet another life, i guess. and i've been so deeply enjoying your posts about stellina and kep. i know it'll be a year soon... i hope there's some peace in how things have gone since he passed, and i hope the anniversary isn't too hard on you. thank you for sharing him with us.

i've been on tumblr for 14 years and this is, genuinely, the nicest ask i think i've ever been sent.

thank you - sincerely. there's been a lot of times over the course of this blog that i've felt like i was oversharing, or talking about pointless things only i cared about. i still so frequently start typing out a post only to stop mid-sentence and delete it because i can't help but think "no one cares about this." possibly it's why i like to talk about my pets so much - they're not me, but i'm the one who knows them best, so i get to say "hey look at this" and ramble and have people say "i'm looking" back. when boone passed, i lost that filter and i poured my grief out into this blog because it was the closest outlet i had. and to have hundreds of people not only acknowledge this but to commiserate, to reassure, to share their own stories - that helped healed me more than i can put into words. it's exactly as you said: there's a catharsis in grieving together.

i am sorry you also had to say goodbye. i wish i could say it gets easier, but i think that would be defeating the point of grief. your grief is your love and damn it if there isn't any act more loving in the world than choosing to say goodbye to an old, loyal dog. you think of how dogs were domesticated tens of thousands of years ago, of how human society and dogs have developed intertwined, of how we have records of ancient greeks and romans carving loving epitaths on their dog's graves, of how a prehistoric dog's skull was found with a bone placed in it's mouth after death, and you wonder if grieving a dog isn't one of the most consistent experiences in the whole of human history that there is.

i'm glad to know that this could bring you some comfort, in some way. it's incredibly touching to know that you kept me and boone in your thoughts for all this time. i am doing ok - i've been reflecting a lot as we approach the one-year mark. i'm not sure if i'll be able to condense those thoughts down into coherent words, but i'll do my best. i hope that my silly little pets continue to bring you some happiness, and that you've found peace with your own grief.

thank you, again - this is extremely touching and means a hell of a lot to me.

#i know exactly what you mean about reading posts about other peoples loss and grieving in camaraderie with them. i do that too #also mayhaps i am nosy sometimes and want to intrude. i cant help my nature to be a looky-loo #which is to say: you should never feel like you are intruding for doing so back to me.

[solargrove]

i wish i could just play the sims in a carefree way and make little legacy posts but alas, i am a chronic perfectionist and if every bit of what i make or post isnt perfect i get upset and rage-delete it lmao

#ren ramblings #its such a bad habit but like. #i cant have something published that im not happy with #and it seems im never happy unless something is perfect which it never is #which is why u probably have noticed ive never really had luck when posting gameplay lol #ive had some technical issues along the way but mainly i just ragequit and delete everything #sigh maybe one day i will be less difficult in that regard #but i dont see that happening ANY time soon

[alwaysneedyforsir]

is a hug too much to ask for

#seriously #i’m jus #so so goddamn touch starved #like i would do insane things to just get a hug rn #a proper hug that lasts like two seconds #so so tired #physically but also #emotionally n mentally drained rn #tired n exhausted n straight up numb #i get myself out of this shitty place n then fall right back into it again #just #a proper night’s sleep where i don’t wake up exhausted and dreading the day ahead #n a fucking hug #seriously when did a hug become too much to ask for #i’ll probably wake up n be horrified n delete this so enjoy my rambles for the next like #3.5-4ish hours before i’m awake again? #fml! #it’s fine i’m fine everything’s fine #i just need someone to hug me while i sleep a full night #and the chances of me finding that anytime soon are #too low to even try n pretend to calculate #goodnight y’all #wishing y’all the hugs that i can’t seem to get #me #my thoughts

[dragonbma]

Sorry for the lack of art and writings lately. Classes and art block have been destroying me. Not to mention I currently have a hand full of fiberglass from a project gone wrong-

This week was a triple threat.

#hoping to get back into the swing of things soon #if I can’t make a doodle for tomorrow I’ll just make memes instead #probably deleting later #bermuda ramblings

[skyward-floored]

hmmm I think I need to write a vent fic

#...again #I haven't in a while and since I'm being swamped by a particular brand of yuck I haven't been hit by in a while #it may be time to write another #idk #I'm just blabbing and will probably delete this soon but yeah #mostly talking to myself #rambles from the floor #delete later #haven't sat outside and cried like that in a while uhhhh

[uraniumglassgirl]

portal 2 glados has this sort of melodramatic elegance to her that i think is like 80% of why i think shes hot. but in portal 1 when she still has her morality core attached theres a kind of like. erratic pent up anger to her that makes me feel crazy. theres this line where shes like “youre not smart. youre not a scientist. youre not a doctor. youre not even a fulltime employee. where did your life go so wrong?” then she lets out this . angry ass growl and yells “I HATE YOU!” and its like. oh my god girl.

#the way shes spent her entire life invalidated and spoken over and thought less of and the moment she finds you #she takes EVERYTHING out on you. #the main chassis canonically i think corrupts you #whether directly or just from all the power it lets you wield #but id like to believe caroline was secretly just a very spiteful and caged up person and #being in control of the facility let her unleash that on others #especially since glados literally becomes normal as soon as she finds out where caroline lives in her brain and deletes her #actually im probably wrong about all of this im rambling too hard without thinking #anyways glados is hot

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Oh no no no no noooooooo

#this isnt even the real download its just the pre installation! #i was at 71% storage used and now its at 72% already and its not even at 20% yet! #fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuck ive already taken off pretty much everything i can part with #everything else if i delete it and reinstall later ill have to start over... #i dont know how much of the storage can be used before something starts to happen... #and! im probably not getting a new phone anytime soon! #or a laptop! or a computer! #the only thing i can take off that would even make a dent would be hsr and i dont want to do that... #well lads looks like fontaine might be the end of the journey for me #and if it isnt it DEFINITELY will be once additional areas come out #based off sumeru theyll be... what? three more? more than that??? #just not great news all around #mb's two am rambling

[sunsrefuge]

cool !!! cool cool cool.

#info in tags. probably a vent too. just. as heads up. #pet negligence tw #pet injury tw #pet abuse tw #/rambling #/to be deleted #so um. well. my brother has been taking care of my dogs. #and now blu is puking up pieces of her crate. like shes been EATING IT. and i went and looked and its so fucking obvious where she’s ESTING #and he hasnt SAID or DONE ANYTHING !!!! #if my dog dies because of his negligence i might. literally kill him myself. #i cant stay in this house anymore i Need to move out as soon as i can. i Have to #for my sake and for my pets’ sake. theyre the butt of every joke #my parents have been joking about cooking my cat since i got her seven years age #ago** — even though shes the only thing that kept me ALIVE at that point #and my mother is more worrief about the expensive couch being ‘ruined’ than BLU POSSIBLY DYING. #i cant do this. i need to figure out what i can do and put out at a reasonable rate to like. open up a ko-fi or something #i dont know. i dont know but i have to do SOMETHING.

[godnectar]

#nectar's rambling #........................................................................................................................................... #so fucking pathetic the way i can't even let myself vent on the sideblog #when that's probably the only purpose of it's existence #just because i somehow feel guilty about it #♡ pathetic sylas :) #🤡🤡🤡 #ngl tho- #i feel guilty about everything i do #so this shit might get deleted soon #or i'll just reblog something to fade it a bit

[candyunicornsateme]

The speed in which I can type “south park creek craig tucker tweek tweak” in the tags is either embarrassing or a badge of honor and nothing in between. 

#south park #10 yrs of experience in typing specific names ships and show name #putting that on my resume. on my dating profile #that I dont have. obviously I don't have a social life HAHAOSIHDFihfc #rimble ramble #delete soon probably im just feeling down lol #struggling to draw... kinda lonely bc I just wanna discuss #but no one's around lately(???) #usually quiet in the summer but I love cute summer stuff too #forest walks.... #to be brutally honest I wanna read or write k2 kissing type of scenes...... #bc my god. my feelings #sp creek #creek

[arthur-r]

this post hereby marks maggie rodriguez’s legal name being changed to mariposa!! it’s the name he chose when he transitioned (something something metamorphosis blah blah blah migration shhhhh flight). the rest of what i had to say here wasn’t important

[original long version under cut shddhdf]

changing mars/maggie’s full name to mariposa because i want to. like it was kind of implied that his full name was margarita or maybe possibly margaret or marguerite like. one of those names. but it’s not a dead name and maggie would not name himself margarita or margaret like marguerite is possible maybe i guess like if it were me there’s definitely a possibility that i could have named myself that if i was transitioning with more knowledge of like. presentation doesn’t have to equal identity and all that? so yeah maggie could’ve named himself marguerite maybe but that would imply that he’s as invested in french as i am and i think he’s a lot more of a polyglot like he definitely speaks french and spanish and arabic (one of the things true of him that aren’t true of me. i only speak french and kinda sorta spanish) if not more languages, so i don’t think the french name would at all make sense to be the one that prevails. anyway margarita is the name of too many of my extended family and also i ashamedly must say mostly just reminds me of alcohol. so none of the marg names were working and in conclusion mariposa is a pretty rad name. and one of my way-back-when original oc’s was named mariposa vasquez so it even has a personal background for me. and real arthur-r fans know that maggie is a transmutation of my old character freddie rodriguez so taking another of my old characters names is not a surprising idea. and in conclusion now there gets to be butterfly imagery too and isn’t that great? im thinking monarchs.

#other things about mars that i might have mentioned or i might’ve forgot include that he never left maryland his whole story happens there #depending on how my life goes i might send him out to nebraska for college but at least his whole childhood is spent out there #but no i think i goes to the university of maryland how i would be trying to if i could get in state tuition #(said as if im academically good enough to go to umd but like. maggie is very smart okay) #anyway mars is the name he goes by mariposa is the name he legally changed it to and maggie is a very exclusive nickname i think #it’s just that me and maggie are besties so i’m allowed to. shdhdf. the point is he doesn’t introduce himself as maggie or even mariposa #but if someone were to care enough to ask and also just professionally. mariposa would be his answer #or like on news reports and such. so just. keep that in mind shdhdf #anyway this is a classic arthur ramble and not meant to be content im just talking shdhdf #and yeah he lives in maryland and interns at some sort of historical center i haven’t decided where exactly yet #honestly it could be the friggin library of congress this guy is living within an hour of the nations capital #anyway hi i started drafting this like as soon as i woke up and now im soon to leave home. so i should probably post it #sooner rather than later. anyway song recommendation cause it’s playing right now: drink by the happy fits. or anything off awfully apeelin #and i hope everybody is doing okay #me. my post. mine. #delete later #or abridge later

[phantom-does-a-thing]

I can't even project onto fictional characters bc im so sad I dont have the energy to write or do anything

#vent #delete later #whatever I guess #im sure im probably gonna get my period soon #but the sadness is hitting like bricks #I just dont wanna do anything I dont have the energy to write #or even talk to my friends without my brain telling me they hate me #I just dont wanna feel like this im so stressed and sad and upset #all for different reasons and its too overwhelming #rambling #phever dreams with phantom

[raspberryjellybrains]

it would be really cool if I didn't have to choose between minorly debilitating pain from cystic acne on my face or from my back and shoulder joints.

#i am mad this evening. for every and no reason at all. #im just so fucking tired of the constant pain. it hurts to make elevation changes but if i go off my medication too soon the acne will #return and it will be screaming pain from that. #it would be amazing if my body could actually function. #will probably delete this later #vent #raspberry rambles #dont rb please

[harringtonswriting]

good evening friends i hope you’re all doing fantastic (or that tomorrow is wonderful for you if you’re not) !!

hopefully going to be posting a few works tonight, and my inbox is still open so pls feel free to request stuff, come talk, or just hang out !! tonight is a good writing night

question, though: how married are we to accuracy when it comes to like, d&d and when things are introduced? would we be mad if i maybe fudged some things?

#bree talks #is this bc i want eddie to have a tiefling bard #absolutely it is #but technically #tieflings weren’t introduced in d&d til the 90s #but can you imagine the chaos of giving him a tiefling #but what do the people think #am i just thinking too much about this #probably #putting this in the tags so the post isn’t too long #if all else fails he can be like half-orc or something #his claim to fame can be that he homebrewed half-orcs after reading too much lotr #i’m rambling #i’ll probably delete this soon #if you’ve read all these tags please know i love you

[incognito-girl]

matching - L.WILLIAMSON

NOT EDITED and i HATE this but i spent too long on it before it got deleted to just not finish it! hope you enjoy

new year’s eve. the start and end of a year, all at once. every pressure of the year can be left behind leaving you to only think of the future. friends, family, teammates asking what your big goals and plans for the year ahead are. the question had always left you thinking and as you do year after year you shrug out the same answer of “work on my shooting/defence/speed”, whatever you just decided to say that day. everyone around you felt hopeful at the prospect of a new year, new beginning. although for you every year felt the same it never felt as though this was a moment for big change. although this year you had a change. a big change waiting for you. you would be a new signing for arsenal during the winter transfer season. although will all this ‘negativity’ you had towards the prospect of a new year your little secret new year resolution was to get into a relationship, a real relationship. as the years go by though your hope of this dwindling as every prospect ended to be a one night stand or just someone completely awful.

this year your resolution was to do well at your new club. you were following your dear friend, alessia, over to arsenal just a few months later. when you told her the news of your transfer she screamed down the phone at you with excitement, rambling on about different things you can do when you move to london in a few months. this led you here, sitting on the floor on your new home unpacking as you and the blonde catch up on the last few months of your lives. “only thing we’re missing now is ella.” you say fondly thinking of your friend who you had left just a few hours ago. “she needs to come down for a weekend soon, we will just have to see who she stays with” she says with hint of cockiness to her voice. indicating ella would stay with her. this led to the pair of you getting into a playful argument on where the brunette would stay. eventually coming to an agreement she would definitely stay in a hotel not wanting to be staying with the either of you.

eventually the pair of you had mostly unpacked your clothes and had ended up sitting on your new bed ready to spend the evening there, before the blonde sitting next to you received a phone call “katie mc cabe” it read as you slightly looked into her phone. a new found sense of dead came over you realising she would definitely be asking her to go out and you would be left home alone on new year’s eve. she answered quickly while standing up and leaving the room to have the conversation. you sat patiently waiting for the girl as you scrolled on instagram. the taller girl came bounding back into the room with excitement evident on her features “we’re going out.” she states quickly, knowing your detest for celebrating the holiday hand. “no alessia.” you state leaving back against your headboard facing the television again. “come on would you” she moans out to you while flopping on your bed, “you will have to meet the girls anyway.” she says poking your leg. “alessia.” you start “i don’t want to just tag along especially not on a night out when i haven’t even been introduced to them before this.” you say frowning to get some sympathy on your reservations. “nope, no pouty face will work on me. we’re going.” she states standing up to now look at your clothes to see what she could wear.

after about half an hour of moping about while getting ready the pair of you were set for the night ahead of you. “okay so most of everyone is already there so we should probably leave soon.” she states while applying lipgloss in your bathroom mirror. you watching her while sitting on your bed in your short white dress. “alright!” you hear the taller girl shout from the bathroom “i’m ready” she says appearing at the door both her hands on each side of the doorframe. “looks so beautiful lessi!” you say sarcastically all the while giving her a sincere look. with a roll of her eyes she flicks your for each whole mumbling about getting a taxi.

you both stood waiting in the kitchen drinking the last bit of water you would get for the night before you left. “are you excited?” she asks narrowing her eyes at you, wanting a sincere answer. “nervous.” you state shortly back at the girl, not quite meeting her eyes, she doesn’t reply to this in hopes you will expand on your answer if left to your own thoughts. to her confidence you did just as she hoped. “what if they don’t like me. i’m stuck with them all for the next three seasons unless i go on loan, but i couldnt imagine myself liking that to be honest lessi. what if lotte or katie dont like me. i know ive met lotte before but like it’s still so stressful, and katie might not like me because we’re so opposite based on the stories you have told me. everything could just go to shit tonight, and then what will i do for the season. it will be so shocking.” you ramble on not even taking a breath during it all. “they will love you.” she states as if it was a fact written in a history book, someone never sounding so sure of anything. “but what if they don’t?” you quietly ask worry beginning to furrow your eyebrows. “nope! none of that no furrowing your eyebrows tonight. no more overthinking.” she shouts out grabbing her phone and your hand dragging you out of the apartment to the taxi waiting on the side of the roads few floors down.

you could hear the beat of the music from outside the building when you got out of the taxi. the taller girl grabbing your hand once again to prevent you getting lost from her. she dragged you through the bodies of intoxicated people, a mix of smells taking over your senses leaving you a little nauseous. this was before you were suddenly standing in front your entire future team, as they hugged your friend. then after they all said hello they realised you were standing ever so slightly behind her. an excited look came over each of the girls faces as they realised who you were, the new signing. a few of the girls you were familiar with, due to shared friendship with ella and alessia. you had visited the pair during the summer to watch a the final of the world cup, the aftermath very different to the euros. although this led you to be acquainted with a fair few of the english nationals. the few you had spoke to bolted over to your side an excited look on their faces due to seeing you.

you were dragged away from your blonde friend to a entire new group of girls staring at you as if you were their favourite person in the world. you laughed under their gaze of what could only be described as love - weirdly enough. the group around you all introduced themselves, vivianne , beth, leah and lotte. beth doing most of the talking asking you millions of questions. lotte eventually excusing herself from the group followed by vivianne a minute later after telling beth she will get her a drink while she is up. this left just beth and leah to speak to. the blonde girl who you hadn’t been taking much notice of before this moved in closer to the pair of you to join into the conversation. this is when you finally noticed the both of you were in the same dress. “we’re matching!” you state to the girl next to you, feeling the fabric that covered her thigh to see if it really was the exact same dress. to your shock it was. this led the both of you into a long conversation about clothes. the taller girl had a lot to say about this topic leaving you sitting and listening to her as her eyes lit up excitedly, as if she was a child in a sweet shop. “alright love birds” beth starts while beginning to stand up gaining the both of your attention “i’m going to find alessia.” she finished while walking away. leaving the both of you with a crimson colour taking over your faces. you turn back to face leah seeing her with a little smirk on her face. “you are really pretty.” she states as if at the possibility she didn’t say it she would burst. a second round of the crimson colour takes over your cheeks again as you look at her with a smile.

the pair of you now talking about your family’s you start to tell a story about about your brother mimicking his actions when he scored a goal in his sunday league match, doing his celebration that he has now gotten you to start doing for him. leah absolutely scarlet from the way you were throwing your hands in the hair shouting out about a goal she grabbed your hands down and pulled them into her lap. “stop, you will embarrass me.” she said laughing while rolling her eyes leaning closer into you. “oh shush.” you roll your eyes back at her. she looks down at your entangled hands resting on her lap with a small smile. you begin to remove your hands from hers as her smile drops as she starts on an apology. “oh god i’m so sorry i didnt realise” “shush leah” you say grabbing her hand and intertwining your fingers together.

the both of you, so engrossed in your conversation and light touches didn’t realise you had been sitting in each others company for the past two hours. your thumb was gently caressing her much larger hand that was now sitting on your lap. you could feel every little mole, vein and cuticle on her hand. her face barely inches away from your face you could smell the lip balm she had on her soft lips, that looked very kissable in this lighting. you could smell the linger of her perfume that she has sprayed on herself hours before. her eyes scanning over every bit of your face as you spoke. her thumb gently stroking your thigh as you spoke gesturing wildly with your hands. your hand ended up on the back of her neck and on her shoulder as you pulled her closer so she could hear you better. talking into her ear as your breath fanned over her neck and your fingers played with the hairs on the back of her neck, you could see goosebumps rising all over her due to your actions. pulling away once you were done speaking your hands stayed put on the girl keeping her close. not even having an inch between you and the other girl. her hands now coming to rest on your waist. she ever so slightly lifted you up so you could sit on her lap. her fingers dancing over your waist as you pulled her impossibly closer to you. one of her hands began to fall loved resting on your ass. the both of you leaving in breath fanning over each others lips. before you were rudely interrupted by an excited alessia “guys like thirty seconds until midnight come on!” she said while grabbing your hand dragging you off leah and then grabbing her hand. the pair of you being dragged behind her. sharing amused looks at the girls excitement. she bring you both to the middle of the room with the rest of the team to celebrate the beginning of the new year. “so.” she stars a smug look on her face “any new years kiss?” she asks grabbing your waist once again “i was thinking this blonde girl but she might be a bit too cocky.” you answer placing your hands around her neck. the sound of everyone beginning to count down from ten now surround you.

ten

“i’m sure she would love to kiss you” she answers one hand falling lover onto your arse.

nine

“maybe. but i’m not sure if i want to kiss her” you say looking at her through your eyelashes

eight

“well she would be very hurt then.” she said pouting her potting lip

seven

“then i’ll consider it” you say while placing your finger onto her lip getting rid of her pout.

six

her toothy grin gleams down at you.

five

her hands grip your waist pulling you closer.

four

your hands go to her face caressing it.

three

“so gorgeous” she whispered to you.

two

“just shut up and kiss me.” you whisper back to her before pulling her in and connecting your lips.

one

you could faintly hear everyone shouting out a happy new year celebration and wishing the people around them a happy new year as the taller girls lips were on yours. you could taste the alcohol on her lips as she pulled you impossibly closer. her tongue licking your bottom lip asking for entrance to your mouth, which you eagerly grant. her nimble fingers digging into the flesh on your hips as you groan into her mouth, a sudden wave of embarrassment coming over you as you pull back. with your cheeks turning red you look up at her embarrassed, although you were met with a smirking blonde looking down at you. “didn’t know i had that much of an effect on you gorgeous. you are so hot.” she mumbled out to you grabbing your waist and pulling your body against hers, getting you lost in her presence once again.

“alright girls we get it. you like each other, keep it in a room though.” katie shouted out her irish accent thicker than ever, probably due to the alcohol consumption. leah pulled away from you throwing the girl a dirty look for ruining the moment she was just sharing with you. “fine, we will go and keep it in a room!” she shouted out jokingly to katie, while mimicking her accent. she grabbed your hand pulling you away from the group while you followed her idly, barely noticing too caught up with the girl. the electric feeling of her hand in yours was exactly what you needed to start your year secretly you hoped that this was every year’s resolution coming through, just a little bit delayed.

#woso soccer #alessia russo #woso one shot #lionesses #woso x reader #leah williamson #alessia russo imagine #alessia russo x reader #wsl #arsenal wfc #arsenal #lesbian