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to-read-or-not-to-read3088 · 3 years

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70+ disabled, neurodiverse and chronically ill authors COLLAB

This post is in collaboration with several other bloggers whose links are included here:

Artie Carden

Anniek

Hi! It’s been a while since I posted anything, but this post has been a month in the making. I have twenty books by twenty authors for my part in this collaboration, and you can check out the other parts of the collab with the links at the top of the post.

I haven’t read some of these books but almost all of them are on my to be read pile, and I did extensive research to make sure I got this right, but please let me know if there are any mistakes or if anything needs to be corrected.

1. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

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Meet Cute Diary follows Noah Ramirez who thinks he’s an expert on romance. He must be for his blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem. All the stories are fake. What started off as the fantasies of a trans boy who was afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe. Noah’s world unravels when a troll exposes the blog as fiction, and the only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. That’s when Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place. Drew is willing to fake date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realises that dating in real life isn’t the same as finding love on the page.

The author, Emery Lee, is a kid lit author, artist and YouTuber hailing from a mixed racial background. After graduating with a degree in creative writing, e’s gone on to author novels, short stories and webcomics. When away from reading and writing, you’ll likely find em engaged in art or snuggling with cute dogs.

Emery Lee is nonbinary, and uses e/em pronouns, and e’s debut book, Meet Cute Diary, features a side character who is also nonbinary (and asexual!). Emery is also neurodivergent, and frequently speaks about what its like being a writer with adhd on twitter.

Meet Cute Diary is a book I only discovered last month, when it was published, but I’m excited to read it. It has representation of all kinds, and I love any book that has even a little mention of an asexual character because its so rare to see.

2. Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

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At Niveus Private Academy money paves the hallways, and the students are never less than perfect. Until now. Because an anonymous texter calling themselves Aces, is bringing two students’ dark secrets to light. Devon, a talented musician, buries himself in rehearsals, but he can’t escape the spotlight when his private photos go public. Chiamaka, head girl, isn’t afraid to get what she wants, but soon everyone will know the price she has paid for power. Someone is out to get them both. Someone who holds all the aces. And they’re planning much more than a high school game.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, is the author of the instant New York Times and IndieBound bestseller, Ace of Spades, billed as ‘Get out meets Gossip Girl’. Entertainment Weekly has called it “this summer’s hottest YA debut”. She was born and raised in Croydon, South London, and Faridah moved to the Scottish Highlands for her undergraduate degree where she completed a BA in English Literature. She has established and runs and mentorship scheme for unagented writers of colour, helping them on their journey to get published. Faridah has also written for NME, The Bookseller, Readers Digest and gal-dem.

Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé’s book is one that I pre-ordered months in advance, after discovering that I actually really liked this sub-genre of YA, and although I still haven’t read it yet (sorry!), I’m still super excited to dive into it. From what I hear, it has some gay rep, which we all know by now is something I seek out in my books.

3. Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal

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Priya has worked hard to pursue her pre med dreams at Stanford, but a diagnosis of chronic Lyme disease during her sophomore year sends her straight back to her loving but overbearing family in New Jersey and leaves her wondering if she’ll ever be able to return to the way things were. Thankfully she has her online pen pal, Brigid, and the rest of the members of “oof ouch my bones,” a virtual support group that meets on Discord to crack jokes and vent about their own chronic illnesses. When Brigid suddenly goes offline, Priya does something very out of character; she steals the family car and drives to Pennsylvania to check on Brigid. Priya isn’t sure what to expect, but it isn’t the creature that’s shut in the basement. With Brigid nowhere in sight, Priya begins to puzzle together an impossible but obvious truth: the creature might be werewolf – and the werewolf might be Brigid. As Brigid’s unique condition worsens, their friendship will be deepened and challenged in unexpected ways, forcing them to reckon with their own ideas of what it means to be normal.

Kristen O’Neal is a freelance writer who’s written for sites like Buzzfeed Reader, Christianity Today, Birth.Movies.Death, LitHub and Electric Literature. She writes about faith, culture, and unexplained phenomena. Her debut novel, Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses is based on her own experiences with being chronically ill. Kristen has two autoimmune disorders and “a number of other problems and issues” with her body. According to her website, she is doing much better than she used to, but still has flares somewhat regularly.

I cannot describe the feeling of seeing a published book with the best group chat name I have ever seen. Oof ouch my bones is absolutely something that I would be part of if it really existed, because its just such a mood, and funny at the same time. I pre ordered this book too, but like all the others, I still haven’t gotten around to reading it. I’m super excited about it though and cannot recommend it enough.

4. Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales

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Will Tavares is the dream summer fling – he’s fun, affectionate, kind – but just when Ollie thinks he’s found his Happily Ever After, summer vacation ends, and Will stops texting Ollie back. Now Ollie is one prince short of his fairy tale ending, and to complicate the fairy tale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country. Which he minds a little less when he realises it’s the same school Will goes to…except Ollie finds out that the sweet, comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn’t the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted – and to be honest, a jerk. Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn’t ready for a relationship, especially since this new, bro-y jock version of Will seems to go from hot to cold every other week. But then Will starts “coincidentally” popping up in every area of Ollie’s life, from music class to the lunch table, and Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again. Right? Right.

Sophie Gonzales was born and raised in Whyalla, South Australia, where the Outback Meets the Sea. She now lives in Melbourne, where there’s no outback in sight. Sophie’s been writing since the age of five, when her mother decided to help her type out one of the stories she had come up with in the bathtub. They ran into artistic differences when five-year-old Sophie insisted that everybody die in the end, while her mother wanted the characters to simply go out for a milkshake. Since then, Sophie has been completing her novels without a transcript. Sophie Gonzales tweets about her experiences with ADHD on her twitter.

Only mostly devasted is one of the few books on this list that I’ve read. I read the whole thing in one sitting because I just couldn’t put it down, which is weird because I normally don’t read contemporary at all. I have recommended this book to literally everyone I know, and even bought my best friend a copy to convince her to read it.

5. The Bone Houses by Emily Lloyd Jones

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Seventeen-year-old Aderyn ("Ryn") only cares about two things: her family, and her family's graveyard. And right now, both are in dire straits. Since the death of their parents, Ryn and her siblings have been scraping together a meagre existence as gravediggers in the remote village of Colbren, which sits at the foot of a harsh and deadly mountain range that was once home to the fae. The problem with being a gravedigger in Colbren, though, is that the dead don't always stay dead. The risen corpses are known as "bone houses," and legend says that they're the result of a decades-old curse. When Ellis, an apprentice mapmaker with a mysterious past, arrives in town, the bone houses attack with new ferocity. What is it that draws them near? And more importantly, how can they be stopped for good? Together, Ellis and Ryn embark on a journey that will take them deep into the heart of the mountains, where they will have to face both the curse and the long-hidden truths about themselves.

Emily Lloyd-Jones grew up on a vineyard in rural Oregon, where she played in evergreen forests and learned to fear sheep. After graduating from Western Oregon University with an English degree, she enrolled in the publishing program at Rosemont College just outside of Philadelphia. She currently resides in Northern California.

Another book on my to be read pile that I’m super excited to read, but still haven’t gotten around to. This one features disability rep, but because I haven’t read it, I don’t know much more, sorry guys.

6. Mooncakes by Susanne Walker and Wendy Xu

📷Nova Huang knows more about magic than your average teen witch. She works at her grandmothers' bookshop, where she helps them loan out spell books and investigate any supernatural occurrences in their New England town. One fateful night, she follows reports of a white wolf into the woods, and she comes across the unexpected: her childhood crush, Tam Lang, battling a horse demon in the woods. As a werewolf, Tam has been wandering from place to place for years, unable to call any town home. Pursued by dark forces eager to claim the magic of wolves and out of options, Tam turns to Nova for help. Their latent feelings are rekindled against the backdrop of witchcraft, untested magic, occult rituals, and family ties both new and old in this enchanting tale of self-discovery.

Suzanne Walker is a Chicago-based writer and editor. She is co-creator of the Hugo-nominated graphic novel Mooncakes (2019, Lion Forge/Oni Press). Her short fiction has been published in Clarkesworld and Uncanny Magazine, and she has published nonfiction articles with Uncanny Magazine, StarTrek.com, Women Write About Comics, and the anthology Barriers and Belonging: Personal Narratives of Disability. She has spoken at numerous conventions on a variety of topics ranging from disability representation in sci-fi/fantasy to comics collaboration.

Wendy Xu is a Brooklyn-based illustrator and comics artist. She is co-creator of and currently draws the webcomic Mooncakes. Her work has been featured on Tor.com, as part of the Chinese American: Exclusion/Inclusion exhibit permanently housed at the Chinese Historical Society of America, and in Shattered: The Asian American Comics Anthology. She occasionally teaches at the Asian American Writers Workshop and currently works as an assistant editor curating young adult and children’s books.

Suzanne Walker suffers from hearing loss, something that she wrote into her graphic novel, Mooncakes, making Nova hard of hearing. I read this in a few years ago as an advance reader copy for Netgalley and it was honestly one of the best graphic novels I have ever read. The main characters are Chinese American, queer AND magic, which is an amazing combination of representation.

7. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

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Ketterdam: a bustling hub of international trade where anything can be had for the right price—and no one knows that better than criminal prodigy Kaz Brekker. Kaz is offered a chance at a deadly heist that could make him rich beyond his wildest dreams. But he can’t pull it off alone… A convict with a thirst for revenge A sharpshooter who can’t walk away from a wager A runaway with a privileged past A spy known as the Wraith A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes Kaz’s crew is the only thing that might stand between the world and destruction—if they don’t kill each other first.

Leigh Bardugo is a #1 New York Times bestselling author of fantasy novels and the creator of the Grishaverse (now a Netflix original series) which spans the Shadow and Bone Trilogy, the Six of Crows Duology, The Language of Thorns, and King of Scars—with more to come. Her short stories can be found in multiple anthologies, including the Best American Science Fiction & Fantasy. Her other works include Wonder Woman: Warbringer and Ninth House (Goodreads Choice Winner for Best Fantasy 2019) which is being developed for television by Amazon Studios.

Leigh grew up in Southern California and graduated from Yale University. These days she lives and writes in Los Angeles.

In the acknowledgements section of Six of Crows, Bardugo reveals she suffers from osteonecrosis and sometimes needs to use a cane; this was a source of inspiration for one of the story's six protagonists, master thief and gang boss Kaz Brekker, who uses a cane.

I read Six of Crows a few years ago and I really loved it. I’m not going to pretend I managed to finish the whole Grishaverse series, because I haven’t even gotten close yet, but it really showed Kaz’s struggles with his disability, and his mental health. This is part of a duology, and the duology is part of a large series of books with another duology and trilogy, but Six of Crows can be read without reading the others.

8. Hyperbole and A Half by Allie Brosh

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This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So, I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Allie is an American blogger, writer and comic artist best known for her blog in the form of a webcomic Hyperbole and a Half. Brosh started Hyperbole in 2009 and told stories from her life in a mix of text and intentionally crude illustrations. She has published two books telling stories in the same style, both of which have been New York Times bestsellers. Brosh lives with severe depression and ADHD, and her comics on depression have won praise from fans and mental health professionals.

Another book on my tbr that I just haven’t gotten around to but really want to.

9. The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

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What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death? What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again. Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world, and sometimes you just must find the extraordinary in your ordinary life. Even if your best friend is worshipped by mountain lions...

Patrick Ness, an award-winning novelist, has written for England’s Radio 4 and Sunday Telegraph and is a literary critic for The Guardian. He has written many books, including the Chaos Walking Trilogy, The Crash of Hennington, Topics About Which I Know Nothing, and A Monster Calls. He has won numerous awards, including the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize, the Booktrust Teenage Prize, and the Costa Children’s Book Award. Born in Virginia, he currently lives in London.

Patrick Ness has written about OCD and anxiety in at least two of his books, inspired by his own experiences with the two disorders and how it affects him (The Rest of Us Just Live Here & Release)

10. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire

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Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children No Solicitations No Visitors No Quests Children have always disappeared under the right conditions; slipping through the shadows under a bed or at the back of a wardrobe, tumbling down rabbit holes and into old wells, and emerging somewhere... else. But magical lands have little need for used-up miracle children. Nancy tumbled once, but now she’s back. The things she’s experienced... they change a person. The children under Miss West’s care understand all too well. And each of them is seeking a way back to their own fantasy world. But Nancy’s arrival marks a change at the Home. There’s a darkness just around each corner, and when tragedy strikes, it’s up to Nancy and her new-found schoolmates to get to the heart of the matter. No matter the cost.

Seanan lives in an idiosyncratically designed labyrinth in the Pacific Northwest, which she shares with her cats, Alice and Thomas, a vast collection of creepy dolls and horror movies, and sufficient books to qualify her as a fire hazard. She has strongly held and oft-expressed beliefs about the origins of the Black Death, the X-Men, and the need for chainsaws in daily life.

Years of writing blurbs for convention program books have fixed Seanan in the habit of writing all her bios in the third person, to sound marginally less dorky. Stress is on the "marginally." It probably doesn't help that she has so many hobbies.

Seanan was the winner of the 2010 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and her novel Feed (as Mira Grant) was named as one of Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2010. In 2013 she became the first person ever to appear five times on the same Hugo Ballot.

Seanan McGuire has an invisible disability due to herniated disks in her spine. She is slowly coming to terms with this, and talks about it occasionally on her twitter, and about the struggles she faces.

I loved this book, and so did my best friend. We both read it in one sitting and talked nonstop about it afterwards. Although short, its filled with amazing characters, plot, and representation (asexual character!!)

11. Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan

Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It's the highest honour they could hope for...and the most demeaning. This year, there's a ninth. And instead 📷of paper, she's made of fire. In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it's Lei they're after -- the girl with the golden eyes whose rumoured beauty has piqued the king's interest. Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learns the skills and charm that befit a king's consort. There, she does the unthinkable -- she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world's entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she's willing to go for justice and revenge.

Natasha Ngan is a writer and yoga teacher. She grew up between Malaysia, where the Chinese side of her family is from, and the UK. This multicultural upbringing continues to influence her writing, and she is passionate about bringing diverse stories to teens. Ngan studied Geography at the University of Cambridge before working as a social media consultant and fashion blogger. She lives in France with her partner, where they recently moved from Paris to be closer to the sea. Her novel Girls of Paper and Fire was a New York Times bestseller. Natasha has a heart condition, and talks about her struggles with her health, and gives updates on her health and her books on twitter.

I’ve heard a lot about this book, but for trigger warning reasons it sadly isn’t on my to be read list. Everything I’ve heard about it says its an amazing book though, and the cover is beautiful.

12. Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

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Three friends, two love stories, one convention: this fun, feminist love letter to geek culture is all about fandom, friendship, and finding the courage to be yourself. Charlie likes to stand out. She’s a vlogger and actress promoting her first movie at SupaCon, and this is her chance to show fans she’s over her public breakup with co-star Reese Ryan. When internet-famous cool-girl actress Alyssa Huntington arrives as a surprise guest, it seems Charlie’s long-time crush on her isn’t as one-sided as she thought. Taylor likes to blend in. Her brain is wired differently, making her fear change. And there’s one thing in her life she knows will never change: her friendship with her best guy friend Jamie—no matter how much she may secretly want it to. But when she hears about a fan contest for her favourite fandom, she starts to rethink her rules on playing it safe.

Jen Wilde is the YA author of QUEENS OF GEEK, THE BRIGHTSIDERS and GOING OFF SCRIPT. She writes unapologetically queer stories about geeks, rockstars, and fangirls who smash the patriarchy in their own unique ways. Her books have been praised in Teen Vogue, Buzzfeed, Autostraddle, Vulture and Bustle. Originally from Australia, Jen now lives in NYC where she spends her time writing, drinking too much coffee and binging reality TV.

Researching for this collab was the first time this book popped up on my radar as something I might be interested in reading. Jen Wilde, the author, is herself autistic and suffers from anxiety, which gives the narrative “authenticity that is lacking in similar books” according to socialjusticebooks.org.

13. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

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Seventeen-year-old Molly Peskin-Suso knows all about unrequited love—she’s lived through it twenty-six times. She crushes hard and crushes often, but always in secret. Because no matter how many times her twin sister, Cassie, tells her to woman up, Molly can’t stomach the idea of rejection. So, she’s careful. Fat girls always have to be careful. Then a cute new girl enters Cassie’s orbit, and for the first time ever, Molly’s cynical twin is a lovesick mess. Meanwhile, Molly’s totally not dying of loneliness—except for the part where she is. Luckily, Cassie’s new girlfriend comes with a cute hipster-boy sidekick. Will is funny and flirtatious and just might be perfect crush material. Maybe more than crush material. And if Molly can win him over, she’ll get her first kiss and she’ll get her twin back. There’s only one problem: Molly’s co-worker Reid. He’s an awkward Tolkien superfan with a season pass to the Ren Faire, and there’s absolutely no way Molly could fall for him. Right?

Becky Albertalli is the author of the acclaimed novels Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (film: Love, Simon), The Upside of Unrequited, and Leah on the Offbeat. She is also the co-author of What If It's Us with Adam Silvera. A former clinical psychologist who specialized in working with children and teens, Becky lives with her family in Atlanta.

Becky Albertalli has generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), and has spoken about it in several interviews, which you can find online. She has also written several characters in her books who also suffer with anxiety. Her first book, Simon vs the Homosapien’s Agenda (or Love, Simon), is the only book of hers that I have read so far, and I loved it. It was the first contemporary book that I read and actually enjoyed.

14. Carve the Mark by Veronica Roth

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Cyra is the sister of the brutal tyrant who rules the Shotet people. Cyra’s current gift gives her pain and power—something her brother exploits, using her to torture his enemies. But Cyra is much more than just a blade in her brother’s hand: she is resilient, quick on her feet, and smarter than he knows. Akos is the son of a farmer and an oracle from the frozen nation-planet of Thuvhe. Protected by his unusual currentgift, Akos is generous in spirit, and his loyalty to his family is limitless. Once Akos and his brother are captured by enemy Shotet soldiers, Akos is desperate to get his brother out alive—no matter what the cost. Then Akos is thrust into Cyra's world, and the enmity between their countries and families seems insurmountable. Will they help each other to survive, or will they destroy one another?

Veronica Roth is the #1 New York Times best-selling author of the Divergent series (Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant, and Four: A Divergent Collection), the Carve the Mark duology (Carve the Mark, the Fates Divide), The End and Other Beginnings collection of short fiction, and many short stories and essays. Her first book for adult audiences, Chosen Ones, is out now. She lives in Chicago.

Veronica Roth suffers from anxiety, like a lot of the authors on this list, and talks about it in interviews. A quote from one: "I've had an anxiety disorder my whole life, so I've been to therapy on and off throughout, before books and after books. I went back and tried to talk through some of the things I was feeling and experiencing, and it was helpful."

I’ve never read any of her books, not even the hugely famous Divergent trilogy, though they’ve been on my radar for years. I’d love to get into her books at some point, but it might take me a few years.

15. How to be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe

📷An urgent, funny, shocking, and impassioned memoir by the winner of the Spectrum Art Prize 2018, How To Be Autistic by Charlotte Amelia Poe presents the rarely shown point of view of someone living with autism. Poe’s voice is confident, moving and often funny, as they reveal to us a very personal account of autism, mental illness, gender and sexual identity. As we follow Charlotte’s journey through school and college, we become as awestruck by their extraordinary passion for life as by the enormous privations that they must undergo to live it. From food and fandom to body modification and comic conventions, Charlotte’s experiences through the torments of schooldays and young adulthood leave us with a riot of conflicting emotions: horror, empathy, despair, laugh-out-loud amusement and, most of all, respect. For Charlotte, autism is a fundamental aspect of their identity and art. They address the reader in a voice that is direct, sharply clever and ironic. They witness their own behaviour with a wry humour as they sympathise with those who care for them, yet all the while challenging the neurotypical narratives of autism as something to be ‘fixed’. This is an exuberant, inspiring, life-changing insight into autism from a viewpoint almost entirely missing from public discussion. ‘I wanted to show the side of autism that you don’t find in books and on Facebook. My story is about survival, fear and, finally, hope. There will be parts that make you want to cover your eyes, but I beg you to read on, because if I can change just one person’s perceptions, if I can help one person with autism feel like they’re less alone, then this will all be worth it.’ Charlotte Amelia Poe is a self-taught artist and writer living in Lowestoft, Suffolk. They also work with video and won the inaugural Spectrum Art Prize with the film they submitted, 'How to Be Autistic’. Myriad published Charlotte's memoir, How to Be Autistic, in September 2019.

Another book I didn’t know about until researching for this post, but I really want to read it because I haven’t read many books about autism, and practically none of them were actually written by someone who actually is autistic. Charlotte uses they/them pronouns.

16. Ask me about my Uterus by Abby Norman

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For any woman who has experienced illness, chronic pain, or endometriosis comes an inspiring memoir advocating for recognition of women's health issues In the fall of 2010, Abby Norman's strong dancer's body dropped forty pounds and grey hairs began to sprout from her temples. She was repeatedly hospitalized in excruciating pain, but the doctors insisted it was a urinary tract infection and sent her home with antibiotics. Unable to get out of bed, much less attend class, Norman dropped out of college and embarked on what would become a years-long journey to discover what was wrong with her. It wasn't until she took matters into her own hands--securing a job in a hospital and educating herself over lunchtime reading in the medical library--that she found an accurate diagnosis of endometriosis. In Ask Me About My Uterus, Norman describes what it was like to have her pain dismissed, to be told it was all in her head, only to be taken seriously when she was accompanied by a boyfriend who confirmed that her sexual performance was, indeed, compromised. Putting her own trials into a broader historical, sociocultural, and political context, Norman shows that women's bodies have long been the battleground of a never-ending war for power, control, medical knowledge, and truth. It's time to refute the belief that being a woman is a pre-existing condition.

Abby Norman’s debut book, ASK ME ABOUT MY UTERUS: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women’s Pain, was published by Bold Type Books (Hachette Book Group) in 2018, with advance praise from Gillian Anderson, Lindsey Fitzharris, Jenny Lawson, and Padma Lakshmi.

The book was praised by The New York Times Book Review, The Wall Street Journal, New York Magazine, The Washington Post, The Sunday Times, The Irish Times, Literary Review, The Times Literary Supplement, The New Republic, Book Riot, Toronto Star, ELLE, Health Magazine, Undark Magazine, BUST Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Ms. Magazine, BBC Radio 5, and other international media outlets.

In 2019, the paperback edition was published in the U.S. and the Korean translation in Seoul (Momento Publishing/Duran Kim Agency).

Her work has been featured in Harper’s, Medium, The Independent, Literary Hub, The Rumpus, Mental Floss, Atlas Obscura, and elsewhere. Interviews and profiles have been seen and heard, including NPR/WNYC, BBC, Anchor.fm, The New York Times, Playboy, Forbes, Glamour, Women’s Health, and Bitch Magazine.

Abby Norman suffers from endometriosis, which was a large part of why she wrote her book, and why she advocates so hard for fellow patients at conferences such as Stanford University’s Stanford Medicine X and the Endometriosis Foundation of America’s medical conference and Patient Day. She is

Abby has served on technical expert panels including the National Partnership for Women and Families’ CORE Network (Yale University), the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the Centres for Medicare and Medicaid, The Society for Women’s Health Research (SWHR), and Health Affairs.

In 2019, Abby contributed to a paper addressing research gaps and unmet needs in endometriosis published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

This book is definitely one I will be adding to my to be read list, as someone who (unfortunately) also has a uterus, it is important to be informed. And Abby sounds like such a badass who wrote a whole book about her chronic illness to help others with the same condition.

17. Stim: Autistic Anthology by Lizzie Huxley-Jones

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Around one in one hundred people in the UK are autistic, yet there remains a fundamental misunderstanding of what autism is. It is rare that autistic people get to share their own experiences, show how creative and talented and passionate they are, how different they are from media stereotypes. This insightful and eye-opening collection of essays, fiction and visual art showcases the immense talents of some of the UK's most exciting writers and artists - who just happen to be on the spectrum. Here they reclaim the power to speak for themselves and redefine what it means to be autistic. Stim invites the reader into the lives, experiences, minds of the eighteen contributors, and asks them to recognise the hurdles of being autistic in a non-autistic world and to uncover the empathy and understanding necessary to continue to champion brilliant yet unheard voices.

Lizzie (Hux) Huxley-Jones is an autistic author and editor based in London. They are the editor of Stim, an anthology of autistic authors and artists, which was published by Unbound in April 2020 to coincide with World Autism Awareness Week. They are also the author of the children’s biography Sir David Attenborough: A Life Story. They can be found editing at independent micropublisher 3 of Cups Press, and they also advise writers as a freelance sensitivity reader and consultant. In their past career lives, they have been a research diver, a children’s bookseller and digital communications specialist.

I wasn’t even aware that there was an anthology out there by an autistic author, about autism, but now that I do I need to read it.

18. Chimera by Jaecyn Bonê

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Creatures unlike you've imagined before! Welcome to a world where myths and legends collide to create a new breed of monster. Savage and soulful, these monstrosities combine to form the mighty Chimera. In this anthology, talented writers weave 10 tales of fantastical beasts. Featuring stories by: Matt Bliss Jaecyn Boné Alexis L. Carroll Chris Durston Dewi Hargreaves Stephen Howard Samuel Logan Vincent Metzo Braden Rohl Michelle Tang

Jaecyn is a queer, non-binary, disabled Asian-American writer and digital artist fascinated by faeries.

Most of their writing involves wlw romance and faery-inspired creatures. Their first novel, Farzana's Spite is a 10-year-old work in progress and the first novel in The Faerth series. Other works include The Killing Song (novel) and Colour Unknown (short), both of which are also part of the Faerth universe.

Jaecyn's art can be described as a neorealistic pop art style with cel shading. They began their digital art journey with a 5-year-old refurbished iPad using their finger as a stylus and immediately fell in love. They do digital download commissions as well as sell prints of their artwork.

Jaecyn is the Co-Editor in Chief of the Limeoncello Magazine, an online Own Voices literary magazine which debuted its first issue on March 21st, 2021.

When not writing, drawing, or chasing after their two children, they can be found either gardening or practicing their ukulele.

None of Jaecyn Boné’s books are published yet as they are still in the stage of querying, but they contributed to the above anthology, along with nine other authors. I had no idea that this anthology existed, and now I’ll be closely following this author to see when their books get published!

19. Forest of Souls by Lori M Lee

Sirscha Ashwyn comes from nothing, but she’s intent on becoming something. After years of training to become the queen’s next royal spy, her plans are derailed when shamans attack 📷and kill her best friend Saengo. And then Sirscha, somehow, restores Saengo to life. Unveiled as the first soul guide in living memory, Sirscha is summoned to the domain of the Spider King. For centuries, he has used his influence over the Dead Wood—an ancient forest possessed by souls—to enforce peace between the kingdoms. Now, with the trees growing wild and untamed, only a soul guide can restrain them. As war looms, Sirscha must master her newly awakened abilities before the trees shatter the brittle peace, or worse, claim Saengo, the friend she would die for.

Lori M. Lee is the author of speculative novels and short stories. Her books include PAHUA AND THE SOUL STEALER (Disney/Rick Riordan Presents), FOREST OF SOULS and the sequel BROKEN WEB (Page Street), and more. She’s also a contributor to the anthologies A THOUSAND BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS and COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES. She considers herself a unicorn fan, enjoys marathoning TV shows, and loves to write about magic, manipulation, and family.

Lori struggles with anxiety, and the common symptoms like fatigue but she doesn’t let this stop her writing amazing books. I read Forest of Souls earlier this year, and it was seriously one of the best books I’ve ever read. I loved the magic, the characters, the world building. Everything about it, including the plot twist ending that had me losing my mind at 2am, was just so unlike anything I had read in any other fantasy before.

20. A Song of Wraiths and Ruin by Roseanne A Brown

📷

For Malik, the Solstasia festival is a chance to escape his war-stricken home and start a new life with his sisters in the prosperous desert city of Ziran. But when a vengeful spirit abducts Malik’s younger sister, Nadia, as payment into the city, Malik strikes a fatal deal—kill Karina, Crown Princess of Ziran, for Nadia’s freedom. But Karina has deadly aspirations of her own. Her mother, the Sultana, has been assassinated; her court threatens mutiny; and Solstasia looms like a knife over her neck. Grief-stricken, Karina decides to resurrect her mother through ancient magic . . . requiring the beating heart of a king. And she knows just how to obtain one: by offering her hand in marriage to the victor of the Solstasia competition. When Malik rigs his way into the contest, they are set on a course to destroy each other. But as attraction flares between them and ancient evils stir, will they be able to see their tasks to the death?

Roseanne “Rosie” A. Brown was born in Kumasi, Ghana and immigrated to the wild jungles of central Maryland as a child. Writing was her first love, and she knew from a young age that she wanted to use the power of writing—creative and otherwise—to connect the different cultures she called home. She graduated from the University of Maryland with a Bachelor’s in Journalism and was also a teaching assistant for the school’s Jiménez-Porter Writers’ House program. Her journalistic work has been featured by Voice of America among other outlets.

On the publishing side of things, she has worked as an editorial intern at Entangled Publishing. Rosie was a 2017 Pitch Wars mentee and 2018 Pitch Wars mentor. Rosie currently lives outside Washington D.C., where in her free time she can usually be found wandering the woods, making memes, or thinking about Star Wars.

Roseanne is another author that struggles with anxiety and wrote one of her two main characters with generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), despite it being a fantasy. I don’t even think I can name a fantasy that had a character with anxiety represented so well. This was a book I read around the same time as Forest of Souls, and I loved it. The cover was beautiful, the characters were brilliant, and I just loved the world building, the magic, and the plot. It was just different to the usual fantasy books I read, and I enjoyed the variation so much I’ve had the sequel pre ordered almost a year in advance.

So, this was my 20 books by 20 chronically ill, disabled or neurodiverse authors list. Blurbs and synopsis were compiled between Goodreads and author websites, and bios were found either on Goodreads, author websites or on amazon author pages. All the information about their chronic illnesses, disabilities or neurodivergence was found online, where they had either explicitly said it or written about it, but if I have something wrong, please let me know so I can fix it!

If you have any other suggestions or know any other books and authors that should be on this list, please let me know and I’ll do my best to add it to the list as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading 😊

#bookblr #reviews #recs #books

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jackednephi · 5 years

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Hello! Apologies for sending in an ask so late. I just wanted to reach out because I'm not in such a great place right now. I was wondering, if you found out about your being queer at a fairly young age, how you managed to stay in the closet?? (And, you know, remaining alright, mentally) my parents are extremely homophobic, and it's tearing me apart, especially because I really care about them. Any advice would be great, even if it's not much. Best of luck in everything, and thank you so much ♥️

so tumblr doesn’t always let me know when i have messages >(

that said, i’ll do my best to respond but like it’s going to be long and convoluted so imma include a cut to save dash space. PLEASE KEEP IN MIND i am polyamorous, agender/trans, pansexual, and demiromantic. so like there are various facets of my queerness and they all played into my life differently

feel free to skip close to the end for like “how to stealth” if you don’t have the spoons for like a 20 page autobiography with annotated bibliography

so finding out about being queer is a question that has both a yes and a no answer. it’s more like i was experiencing queerness but didn’t have words for it, then repressed it, then dealt with it. so it’s less “i knew ever since i could form words to describe it” and more my journey was in no way linear

see when i was little, like really little yknow when you start getting your first crushes right around prek and stuff, i had all kinds of crushes. i had crushes on multiple people at once and this has continued straight into adulthood. so, like, sign one of being poly. my friends would have one person they would hardcore crush on whereas i was crushing on people around me, characters in fiction, just like so many people. i remember listing crushes in my journals every now and then and i’d have lists of upwards and over like 20. :/ so i am in no way surprised i’m poly

so far as my sexuality, i didn’t realize i was feeling for certain female friends what i was feeling for boys. partly because i’d be like “oh i want to hold his hand” and because i saw m/f couples holding hands all the time i was like ah! yes! obviously romantic! but i never saw any f/f relationships so i didn’t make the connection that the hand holding wasn’t a friend feeling. i had INTENSE crushes on girls too, just as intense as on boys. but i was used to the media portraying rival nonsense like hannah montana and whatnot so i was like “oh. this is my situation”

there was also a lot of repressing going on because i just didn’t see that reflected around me from media to adults. all i saw were m/f relationships. i knew gay people existed but i thought they were all gay men. when i was somewhere around like 10 or so, give or take, i realized i was crushing on my best friend at the time (a girl) and was like “no. absolutely not” shoved that as far back as possible and ignored it

my demiromanticism is more born of trauma than me being born that way and that’s ok. one of my close friends found out about one of my crushes in the second grade and i was RELENTLESSLY bullied for it. every time i got a crush on somebody, i would end up HARDCORE bullied or they would get weird and things would be awful. i also had boys shove their crushes onto me and not take no for an answer. like i’d have my bra snapped painfully, bugs shoved down my shirt, my stuff vandalized, hair pulled just because i wasn’t interested

like when i was 12, somebody started a rumor that i was pregnant :/ and that’s not even covering my abusive ex or the sexual assaults so like everything kind of came together for that

then there’s my gender. which is its own bucket of worms and kind of played in with my sexuality in certain ways

my parents are boomers, born in 50 and 58. “but vann,” you say, confused “you were born at the end of 94″ and you are correct! i inherited pcos from my mother so i’ll let you put 2 and 3 together as to why i was born in 94 and my brother in 96. i say that because, unlike their peers, they raised my brothers and i radically different from the accepted cultural norms

if i wanted to wear baggy shorts, that was cool. pretty dresses? whatever. same (kind of) went for my brothers. if they wanted to spend a lot of time on their appearance, that was fine and not shamed at all. in fact, it was encouraged because it made them feel good. i played with army men, barbie dolls, cars, a train set, tools, swords, sports stuff, had tea parties with stuffed animals, drew and crafted, etc etc. my younger brother played house with me (and often suggested it himself) and would play with my baby dolls. like had my younger brother wanted a doll, they would’ve gotten it for him. but i had them so he didn’t bother asking for one cause he could borrow mine

so like there was no gender segregation of toys or activities. and that sounds kind of like the bare minimum of parenting but you have to remember that both of my parents grew up in the rural south as boomers. gender roles were violently enforced for them. but they didn’t think about enforcing them for us so far as play and, to a certain extent, dress/grooming was concerned. this created a safe environment for us to be our true selves

so for a very long time, i was comfy saying i was a girl. i played basketball after school and then afterwards would find my prettiest dress and watch scooby doo. gender expression was fast and loose in my house

i contribute that a lot to the fact that my father was too disabled to work. even before then, he had been a nurse and a damn good one. my father has ALWAYS been the go to for when we were sick, injured, etc. my mother had this disconnect with how much concern to show. it was either too much or not enough and was pretty much never helpful. even after retiring, when my nephews came around he was the go to caretaker for them. even now at 70, he frequently goes back to where the children are during family gatherings and keeps watch. much like a mother hen

so he stayed home and did the cleaning and other “wifely” duties. not cooking though because his brain just cannot. my mother worked as a high school teacher so typical roles were entirely reversed. when i was tiny and wanted nothing more than to be a parent? you go, sweetie! when i was older and wanted to be a scientist? achieve your dreams, kiddo! like they were very supportive of my goals no matter what they were

so i just??? didn’t realize????? until i hit puberty somewhere around 9

talk about body dysphoria. i went from looking like my brother and every other kid my age to wow ok there’s hair now??? and my face is all weird???? and oh no why does my tummy feel funny?????????? (sexual arousal was a TRIP to discover as a third grader that i would not wish on any child ever) oh my god WHAT IS ON MY CHEST!? and grown men are hitting on me now??? oh no i’m in fourth grade and bleeding!?

it was not a fun time by a long shot. i started wearing the baggiest tshirts i could possibly find. anything to hide my freakish body, really. so many hoodies. i would swing wildly between hyper feminine expression with tight clothes and heels and hiding everything as much as possible. part of me was smug about being ahead of my peers, for adults to be treating me as more than a kid. but a LOT of me felt like a freak

maturing (mentally) into an adult was a wild experience. i was 13 and looked like i was 21 except for my face. i did everything possible to find comfort with myself from goth/emo expression ro masculine stuff people threw “dyke” at me for and then finally, weaponized femininity. tight tops, tight pants, shortest skirts i could get away with, eyeliner so sharp it could cut god, heels as often as i could including uniform days, perfect hair. i made myself look like a hot, unapproachable goddess

finally, people were too intimidated to approach me and comment on my appearance. i wore makeup like a mask and people who had known me for YEARS were surprised to find out just how big my chest really was. but i walked with murder in my eyes and i was finally treated the same was i was before puberty - completely unapproachable

ALL THAT IN MIND, here’s how i figured my shit out

i was on facebook seeing “gay, straight, black or white, marriage is a civil right” and being typically “it’s a sacred ordinance shyaddap” about it. i ended up on tumblr about idk 15 or so? note, i’d already discovered porn by this time so i was aware that lesbians existed. like just to throw that out there that i wasn’t like totally in the dark when i made my tumblr account. i did it for school to blog about shakespeare for an english assignment. and that’s when my world expanded

bisexual? wow ok! that was a thing! and oh. oh no

there were pretty girls

and pretty boys and pretty people whose gender i had no idea. cosplayers cosplaying as the opposite gender, trans people, and a whole rainbow of people i was suddenly finding attractive. and i had a HARDCORE identity crisis

i liked girls? but was it the same as boys? was i bisexual? that didn’t seem to fit. there was more than two genders right? and trans people existed? bi? was i bi? bi?

bi. probably

but it didn’t feel comfortable like at all. but i discovered a fanfic writer who talked about being pansexual and i looked it up and everything just clicked?? into place????

not to be overdramatic or anything but it was like the stars finally aligned. it felt SO good! so many genders! and it meant all and aliens are a thing, right? who was i to say no to the possibility? but, more than anything, it felt comfortable. like a hug from my grandma. like home

i wanted to scream from the rooftops that i’d figured it out! i found myself! pansexual! I WAS PANSEXUAL! THAT WAS ME! HOME!

and then the reality of living in our society crashed down on me. i continued to talk about the guys i liked around my family but never EVER the girls. i hid my relationship with the person who eventually became my wife. to be fair, i’d hidden all my relationships prior cause i was an IDIOT and had been dating before 16. so that wasn’t hard. but what was was the breakup

previously, i’d been like “you remember that guy i like? he’s a jerk” or some other excuse to cry to my mother. but i couldn’t about cake. so i cried to my bff/twin/sister like i had everything else and moved on. and i just kind of shut up about it to everybody except those closest to me

except that hurt. here i was knowing i was queer and happy about it but people were being homophobic. i don’t know how often i cried myself to sleep after hearing about “those dirty f*gs” cause of the marriage thing. i ended up quietly coming out to my favorite teacher and she dismissed it as trauma response to my then recent sexual assault. she had seemed safe but that was her reaction so i shut up about it

up until, ironically, coming out day october 2011 just before turning 17 that next month. my mother and i were at chilis, she was being homophobic, and i screamed for the whole restaurant to hear that i was queer and the whole base found out. hard to stay closeted after that

i was pretty much out until college when i started going to church in a new place. i just didn’t talk about my sexuality. ever. period. and it was “easy” because i was dating guys. and pretty sure i was a cis woman. so i was stealth passing. and that was ok with me because i was out on campus, vocally and unapologetically

in high school, i dated a trans guy. he introduced me like in a personal way to transness, to binding. i knew i wasn’t a man but it intrigued me. and in college where nobody knew me, nobody knew me as femme fatale black widow i had a chance to explore my gender. i discovered that loose tshirts made me feel really good. as did other comfy things like shorts and sweats. sometimes i wanted to look fancy or felt like wearing a dress. really, i kind of reverted back to who i was in childhood

i felt weird when i heard my birth name. i’d gone by a nickname for so long, i just chopped off the y (vanny) to vann so it sounded more adult. it felt good. so i identified, tentatively, as nonbinary. it was around this time the trans dude i dated and i fell out with each other because he thought me playing around with my gender was like mocking his transness. or something. idk dude was toxic trash

so i wasn’t male or female then? nah that didn’t feel right. i wasn’t some third androgynous gender. but sometimes binding and passing as a man felt good and sometimes passing as a woman felt good. genderfluid then? was i a man who liked to wear dresses? no. didn’t feel right. made me uncomfortable

eventually, things clicked for me with agender the way they had with pansexual the fall of my third year of undergrad. stars aligned, the universe smiled upon me, and i was THRILLED. like gender euphoria is REAL and never before had i felt so comfortable in my own skin. i remember literally weeping with joy. like i’d been going with they/them/their for a couple years at that point

i came out to my parents about that one pretty shortly after realizing it because i was OVERJOYED. they’d been working on calling me vann for awhile at that point and the pronouns. i’ve since learned that so long as soebody has my name, 90% of the time i legit do not care what pronouns somebody uses. im aware that people perceive me differently and it’s fine. i mean neutral pronouns fill me with euphoria but like it’s fine. so long as somebody doesn’t mistake me for cis

my parents are like so great about it now. they correct people who deadname me (except my grandma cause she’s like 85 and i gave her permission years ago) and my mother straight cut contact with family members who refuse to respect me. except my brothers but like she makes it clear whenever they’re going to be awful that she WILL NOT tolerate it. like they don’t dare trash me in front of our father. he’s old now but he will backhand one of my brothers for that and they know it. so they try it with our mom and she’s like “try it again and you won’t hear from me until you apologize for trashing your sister”

i realized i was poly when cake came back into my life. that was a serious mess involving their abusive ex girlfriend but we clicked and it ended up working so yknow. that was my easiest coming out actually. my parents were like “yknow, you always seemed to love people when you were a kid. and you had SO many crushes. makes sense” which was awesome. it was the most difficult emotionally but the easiest because i’d already come out twice before so it was whatever

the demi thing was discovered in therapy. and like it doesn’t have much in the way of impact like the other things do. so i never really came out about that? there wasn’t really a point? like i talk about it when it comes up but it’s just whatever. i honestly have no idea if i ever told my family?????

WITH THAT NONSENSE IN MIND, HERE’S HOW TO STEALTH AND BE OK MENTALLY

you said homophobic so im gonna assume you’re not straight. no idea about gender and, honestly, so far as gender goes i’ve seen it’s safer to lean into masculinity than it is femininity. so if you’re amab, i don’t really have tips or tricks for that as i’m afab. with being afab, lean into the tomboy aesthetic so you seem acceptably (safely) your assigned gender. i recommend fun lipstick and nail polish colors. sparkly nails did wonders for me honestly

but for like not straightness. that’s a tightrope that is but a gossamer thread to balance. like there are ways to stealth gender expression and feel affirmed but queerness is a different animal or it was for me

so i had AT LEAST one space in my life where i was 100%, unapologetically, loudly out. like i’m here, i’m queer and flying my rainbow flag and not at all sorry about it OUT. for awhile, it was just my very closest friends in the whole world. then it was tumblr. then i made a facebook for people irl i could trust. 0 family and 0 people who couldn’t be chill about it

like having a carved space for you to just be the authentic you, whatever that is. for me, that’s all this queer mess, the polycule that is my family, my faith, my absolutely foul mouth, my mental illnesses, my love of good coffee or a glass of wine every now and then as a rare treat, the good and the bad the ugly and the uncategorizable all together. the struggle with the word of wisdom AND the love of my spouses. all of that

it’s affirming to have this space where you’re yourself and people accept you for who you are rather than what gets your engine revving. but you’ve also got to try and stealth that into wherever you can. you want a dyke spike? go for it and say it’s a pixie cut. plaids are in right now which is a lowkey signal to other queers you’re a queer too no matter your gender. just depends on what shoe you pair it with and other queers will take notice while non queers will just think you’re trendy

it was also fun for me to get that pan flag aesthetic wherever i could. like blue/pink galaxy type eyeshadow that wasn’t too peacock flashy so it looked Hot without being Obvious and a pink lipstick and yellow nails. like it was subtle but i knew what was going on and it felt good. i did the same with rainbows but i had more to work with there. like i’d have an inconspicuous notebook where i’d paint/paste a rainbow on the inside cover so that it was Normal from the outside and BAM! GAY! on the inside. did that with highlighting my notes too

i just kind of stuck it everywhere i could possibly get away with. people were excited to see me go from emo to bring colors becuase “oh wow! you’re finally not sad!” lol no i’m just stealth queer over here

i also wrote SO MUCH queer fanfiction. i didn’t publish any of it just in case but i have notebooks full of stuff. i also rped with people as a way to live vicariously through characters. i also READ a lot of queer fanfiction actually. i saved all kinds of fanart and photo manipulations of certain pairings together. like i couldn’t be out so i could have fiction where others were

i also poured myself into hobbies. i fenced, did karate, learned japanese, participated in drama club, played in a band, took piano lessons, taught myself to draw, journaled, learned to cook, read amazing books, played video games, learned to sing. like i’m sure there are other things i’m forgetting? basically, if it was EVER covered in a young women’s activity pretty much anywhere in the world, i learned at least those basic skills. like i can embroider now even

so like that’s how i stealthed and stayed sane. i was also in therapy where i was out to whatever therapist i was seeing at the time which ABSOLUTELY helped. i also made like queer playlists i would listen to. like same love, i kissed a girl, born this way, etc that i would listen to when i needed to just sink into it. music in general is super cathartic and i’ve gotta say green day, acdc, evanescence, bon jovi, etc got me through some tough shit

i also yelled at god. i yelled at god a LOT actually. like i know we get told “pray for comfort” but sometimes you need to bawl your eyes out and just SCREAM at the almighty. dude can take it. he’s god after all. he can handle our anger. it isn’t disrespectful. like if you ever do cross a line, he’ll let you know. like your thoughts will hard stop. you’ll know

but empty your lungs screaming in pain. let him know it isn’t fair, you’re not happy. beg for relief from the nightmares you’re living. demand to know if or when it’ll ever get better. burn yourself out yelling and crying and fall asleep drenched in tears. then wake up the next day and live your life and you know what?

you’ll feel better. maybe not a lot sometimes and maybe everything is cool for once in forever. but it definitely helped me a lot. like dude listens and you WILL feel better even if the things around you dont get better. you get some strength to get through and be ok and it’s super helpful

but that’s what i got. also bear in mind that i came out to thousands of people by yelling at my mother in a restaurant when all the ships were in because everybody in said restaurant texted everybody they knew and my texts were flooded in like an hour of “DON’T TELL ME YOU CAME OUT TO YOUR MOM LIKE THAT OMG” and “you’re queer!?” so like

i’m not the best when it comes to stealth queering so take my advice with a grain of salt

#long post #like reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllyyyyyyyyyy long post #i cannot overemphasize how long this post is #advice #i tried :/#Anonymous #anon #vannswers

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hypomanicsatanicpanic · 6 years

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saw a 15 year old lesbian comment on reddit that “most” lesbians realize they are gay earlier than 15.... LOL.

For what it’s worth, I really hope that most gay and bi femmes are realizing who they are attracted to earlier than I did: hopefully, the prevailing culture is less toxic/homophobic/biphobic, there are more accessible resources to learn about diverse sexuality, there’s more representation in the media.

But I also think a lot of us "older" folx ended up repressing/ not recognizing our attraction to women until somewhat later in life than 15.

I didn't actually realize that until I was attracted to women until 23/24. I was just starting to question a bit at 20, but I wasn’t sure about it until a few years after that. I’ve only ever had sex with one woman, one time. A majority of my life past the age of consent (which was 16 in my state) has been spent in a monogamous sexual relationship of some sort with a cis-het man- and being the Type of Person who is in that kind of relationship really enforced this sense of being A Straight Type of Person. That, along with a whole truckload of internalized biphobia (You’re not a Real Bi if you’ve never been in a relationship with a woman! You’re not a Real Bi, because Bi Women Do Not Exist- you’re Clearly A Poser Who Gets The Attention Of Men By Pretending To Be Interested In Women, Even If You’ve Told Zero People You’re Interested In Women! You’re Obviously Going Through A Phase. You Can’t Be A Bi Woman While Being In A Relationship With a Cis Het Guy). I still struggle with that sometimes, being in an open/ poly relationship with a cis guy is different, and I’m dating women and NB folx, but the persistent, shitty, biphobic question is still there, bouncing around- can you actually be a real WLW if you have any ongoing sexual or romantic relationship with a man?

I think part of the reason it took so long for me to figure out what attractions I have was that there was no WLW frame of reference for the first ~18 years of my life. In high school, there were no "out" lesbians, bi people, NBs, or transpeople; only one very flamboyant gay dude (who was bullied by pretty much everyone), and one very not-flamboyant but not closeted gay teacher (who was bullied by the administration, by students, and by homophobic parents). There was certainly no sex ed to speak of (yeah, we did sit in a room while we were shown drawings of reproductive organs, and told that condoms were not 100% effective and that the pill was risky and that having sex would definitely make you Teen Pregnant). Being bi or gay was so far out of the parameters of possible Things You Could Be presented to my peer group that I literally didn’t recognize feelings of attraction when I had them...which in turn led to a whole lot of unfulfilling and shitty sexual experiences later on. It’s like when you consistently are forced to eat more food after you are full- you lose touch with your appetite, and that fucks up your eating habits.

Even people in cis-het relationships were not really much help in explaining attraction. The straight girls I knew were dating people because they thought they were a "cute couple" or because there was social pressure to do so- nobody openly talked about attraction or sexual feelings they were having beyond- "He's soooooo cuuuuute!" or “he’s got GREAT eyes!” or “He’s sooooo hot!”. Nobody talked about what cute or hot actually meant, it was just assumed you’d know what that meant, because you thought so too. I actually thought that the reason I never agreed that boys were cute is because I just didn't find the right one that I was attracted to-- that the people my friends were into were not my type, not that the men who are “my type” are very much more an exception to a rule that excludes most men than a rule to which there are exceptions. I regret that I was never confident enough to tell the girls who’d make that kind of comment that I didn’t get it. At least in my experience, teenage gay and bi femmes really didn't have any kind of open existence in the early 2000s and 1990s, especially not in the conservative place I grew up. I suspect this is also true of the rest of the US--If you think of Mean Girls as an (exaggerated) portrait of what was going on in high schools at the time, you can clearly see why being a big-L Lesbian like Janis (who also fulfilled nearly every goth/art-kid/non-conforming asshole stereotype) was not something that a lot of young people in my community (pretty affluent, very academic and preppy, pretty rural, a lot of South- and East Asian -immigrants) could relate to. There was no real sex ed, definitely not sex ed that even mentioned lesbians (!), or sex that was done for reasons other than procreation. Actually, the Mean Girls representation of sex ed was pretty spot-on.

Also, Janis's character didn't go very far to actually talk about her attraction to women, or what that was, or how she experienced it... there were just rumors flying around that she was lesbian, which everyone seemed to think of as a bad thing, for reasons that were never explained. I don’t think I saw another representation of lesbians in the movies (and can’t recall any in books, with the possible exception of Tamora Pierce books, where I think it was subtle enough I mostly didn’t pick up on representation that did exist). Sure, I conceptually knew that Ellen was a lesbian, but had no idea what the fuck that actually meant, other than that she was Different, and in the abstract Liked Women. I don’t think I saw a picture of her holding hands or hugging Portia until I was 20 or so.

Anyway, in my circle of (mid-to-late-twentysomething) friends we joke that L/B femmes goes through delayed adolescence because everyone is still trying to figure out how to talk to women and ask people out on dates into their mid-20s. Or, you know, they’re already married. Not sure how to end this post, but 1) representation is REALLY important in children and YA works as well as in adult works 2) bi femmes exist, and shouldn’t have to prove shit to anyone 3) queer discourse is fucking important. 4) a lot of us are late bloomers, and that’s ok. sometimes it’s not safe to bloom early. 5) hopefully not everyone in the future will have to be a late bloomer 6) inclusive sex ed is important 7) lots of love for my fellow midwestern queers

#personal post #lgbtq #lesbian #bisexual #wlw #mean girls #ellen #tamora pierce #representation #growing up #teen years #sexuality #delayed adolescence #late bloomer

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marilynngmesalo · 5 years

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Tan France on why ’Queer Eye’ is a hit show in a divisive America

Tan France on why ’Queer Eye’ is a hit show in a divisive America Tan France on why ’Queer Eye’ is a hit show in a divisive America http://bit.ly/2Ig490t

SALT LAKE CITY — The Netflix show “Queer Eye ” caught on by doing something unusual: creating reality TV that touches on some of the country’s deepest divides with persistent optimism.

Alongside sleek new haircuts and rehabbed wardrobes, the makeover program starring five gay men tackles the contrast between urban and rural, white and black, liberal and conservative.

The show’s resident fashion expert, Tan France, switches between those worlds off-camera too. He’s an English immigrant who was raised Muslim and spends his off hours at home with his husband in decidedly red-state Utah. Living in Salt Lake City gives him a perspective that comes in handy for a show featuring a cross-section of America, he says.

“When I go into the homes of these people, they’re my neighbours. I spend my days with them. I know who these people are, so it puts me in a very privileged position to say, ‘I get what you’re going through, and let me help you through it,”‘ he said in a recent interview at his renovated historic home on a quiet street.

The house’s attic floor is given entirely to a walk-in closet and another closet for scented candles. It’s the kind of stylish wholesomeness the show channels effectively.

In this March 15, 2019, photo, Tan France, a cast member on the Netflix series “Queer Eye,” poses among his clothes in the attic of his home in Salt Lake City.

A reboot of the 2003 series “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” the version that premiered last year takes the setup to new places. The makeover subjects, dubbed heroes on the show, have ranged from a President Trump-supporting NASCAR fan to two African-American sisters who own a barbecue joint. Between the home renovations and cooking lessons are plenty of poignant moments.

France stars on the show along with food guru Antoni Porowski, hairstylist Jonathan Van Ness, culture expert Karamo Brown and home designer Bobby Berk.

“It’s a very honest, earnest show,” France said. “I think many people worried that this wasn’t going to work. It was going to be a very emotional show, it was going to be a positive show, and up until that point those shows weren’t successful.”

But “Queer Eye” quickly took off, has now released a third season and won best reality show at the GLAAD media awards. Rich Ferraro, a spokesman for the LGBTQ advocacy group, said the original show helped raise awareness by bringing five successful gay men into American living rooms across the country. The new version also includes some subjects from the LGBTQ community, from a transgender man to a black lesbian disowned by her adoptive family.

“I love how the ‘Queer Eye’ of today shows not only the evolution of the subject but of the people who live in the neighbourhoods and communities around the subject and how they come to terms with LGBTQ people,” Ferraro said. “I think ‘Queer Eye’ has become a moment of celebration during a pretty dark time for LGBTQ Americans.”

Skylar Jay, a transgender man from Athens, Georgia, who uses his first and middle name publicly for safety reasons, said he’s gotten far more reaction than he expected after he appeared as a subject on the show.

“Everyone watches this show!” he said. Most surprising has been the reaction of straight, cisgender men. While those kinds of encounters with strangers might have included name-calling or violence in the past, now many men want to shake his hand or say thanks for educating them about transgender issues.

In one episode, Jay has a long conversation about transgender issues with France, who said he knew few transgender people and asked a number of questions. Jay said he still hears from people all over the world about that talk.

“People who are trans, or have someone trans in their family or a trans friend, or who don’t even know anyone who’s trans at all but now they have at least somewhat of an understanding to be decent to trans people,” he said. “That is the most valuable gift they gave me.”

France, meanwhile, has become a rare LGBTQ celebrity of south Asian descent. A native of the north of England whose family is Pakistani, he has lived in Salt Lake City on and off for more than a decade. It’s where he met his husband, Rob, an illustrator who grew up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Wyoming. Though they don’t talk much about faith, France said their different upbringings nevertheless created a similar value system.

France also loves the sweeping mountain vistas that surround the city, the burgeoning food scene and longtime friends.

“If I lived in New York or L.A., I’m sure my life would have changed massively. That’s why I choose to live in Salt Lake,” he said. “I come home and escape from the extra life I have no desire to live.”

He’d also like to correct some misperceptions: Salt Lake isn’t full of polygamists, and in fact the predominant faith renounced it more than a century ago. Though the church has sometimes been at odds with the larger LGBTQ community, France has many friends who belong to the faith and hasn’t faced discrimination in Utah.

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He wasn’t in entertainment before, instead designing fashionable, modest clothing in Utah and building a partnership with a successful blogger who considered a reality TV show. That project didn’t pan out, but it got France noticed by casting directors and led to an offer to do “Queer Eye” — one that came days after he sold his businesses so to start a family.

Kids are on hold for now as he tours with the cast and prepares for the June release of his memoir, “Naturally Tan.” France, 35, says he knew his life was different the day that Jon Bon Jovi asked for a selfie with him. He gets plenty of questions about his distinctive silver hair, which started going grey at age 17.

“I will not dye it. I have no desire to dye it,” he said. Instead, he styles his naturally curly tresses into a tall blow-out.

Like other members of the cast, he’s developed a matter-of-fact but kind manner over the years, one that helps keep the show from veering into mockery.

“I don’t go in with judgment,” he said. “It’s never a case of, ‘We know what’s best and this isn’t the right life for you.’ We find what we think would be the best version of them and we create it.”

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cynthiajayusa · 6 years

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OUTshine Film Fest is Back with its 20th Miami Edition

Film lovers, rejoice! In most places in the U.S., you’d be lucky to have even one local LGBT film festival. But here in South Florida, we’ve got two.

A few years ago, the Miami Gay & Lesbian Film Festival merged with the Fort Lauderdale Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, and last year the two fests were rechristened as OUTshine. But while the organizations merged, the events themselves did not. OUTshine Film Festival produces two major cinematic events every year: a Miami festival each spring, and one in Fort Lauderdale in the fall.

Perhaps at OUTshine’s Fort Lauderdale edition last October you caught the biopics Tom of Finland or Battle of the Sexes (with Emma Stone as Billie Jean King, and Steve Carell); or the critically acclaimed French paean to the ACT UP years, 120 Beats Per Minute; or one (or both) of the sexy coming-out-and-coming-of-age features Beach Rats and God’s Own Country. Then, no doubt, you focused your attention on the Oscar race from November until the Gay Super Bowl (the Academy Awards broadcast) last month.

Well, now it’s April, and Hollywood is taking its l-o-n-g, annual break from awards-caliber films, so your local cineplex is featuring The Rock battling giant mutant alligators with the help of giant mutant apes (or is it the other way around?), that bomb of a Tomb Raider re-boot (Don’t worry, we still love you, Alicia Vikander!), and Pacific Rim-jobs.

Well, OUTshine’s got your back, cinéastes! Its 20th Miami edition is here this week and next to entertain you, touch you, challenge you, give you a refresher course in LGBT history, and provide the perfect date-night activity for that new crush you want to impress.

The Miami festival boasts dozens of films: features, foreign flix, comedies, tearjerkers, documentaries, and several full slates of shorts — plus panels, an awards brunch, and, of course, parties, parties, parties!

You can bone up on all the important festival details below. Then check out our Hotspots Hot Picks to help you select a film — or two or three. For the full lineup of films, panels and parties, go to outshinefilm.com.

OUTShine Film Festival Miami

Festival dates April 20–29

Regular screening tix Advance ($11 members/$13 guests) and day-of tix ($12 members/$14 guests) are available at outshinefilm.com or 877-766-8156. (Prices shown do not include ticketing fee.)

Special-event tix Tickets for Opening Night, the Centerpiece Film, Closing Night, Ladies Night, Men’s Spotlight and the Award Brunch are also available at outshinefilm.com or 877-766-8156. Prices range from $30 to $70 (plus ticketing fee).

Rush tix 10 minutes before any sold-out show, a very limited number of unclaimed and unused tix may be made available ($15 regular screening/$25 special events; cash only). First come, first served!

Venues All screenings are held at the Regal South Beach (1120 Lincoln Rd, Miami Beach) except for the Opening Night Film, which is at the Scottish Rite Temple (471 NW 3rd St, Miami). Panels and parties are held at various locations; for details: outshinefilm.com/events.

OUTshine Miami: Hotspots’ Hot Picks

THE GALA SCREENINGS

My Big Gay Italian Wedding (Puoi Baciare lo Sposo, Italy)

Opening Film Fri Apr 20, 8pm

Antonio and Paolo live happily together in Berlin and are finally getting married. They decide to celebrate in the small village in Italy where Antonio grew up. While his mother immediately supports his intentions, her husband Roberto, the town’s mayor, is not pleased. Paulo, whose conservative mother hasn’t spoken to him since he came out to her, must get her to the wedding as a condition of the marriage. Throw in a couple of wacky roommates and the aisle to the altar is paved with hilarity, hijinks and lots of love!

The Marriage (Martesa, Kosovo)

Centerpiece Film Wed Apr 25, 7pm

In a rare gay-themed film from Kosovo, Anita and Bekim are adding the final touches to their big wedding day which is only two weeks away. Despite expecting news about Anita’s parents, declared missing since the 1999 Kosovar War, and having to deal with Bekim’s controlling family, the couple seems to manage all the preparations. But when Nol, Bekim’s secret gay lover, returns unexpectedly from abroad, the situation becomes complicated, especially since Bekim realizes that a spark still exists.

1985

Closing Film Sat Apr 28, 7:30pm

Shot in luscious black and white, 1985 follows Adrian (Cory Michael Smith, Gotham), a closeted young man returning to his Texas hometown for Christmas during the first wave of the AIDS crisis. Burdened with an unspeakable tragedy in New York, Adrian reconnects with his younger brother and estranged childhood friend as he struggles to divulge his dire circumstances to his religious parents (Virginia Madsen and Michael Chiklis).

TRANS TALES

Transformer

Sun Apr 22, 3pm

From self-proclaimed white-trash kid to decorated U.S. Marine to bodybuilder to world record powerlifter, Matt Kroczaleski now faces his most daunting challenge: becoming a woman. In the summer of 2015, Matt was publicly outed as being transgender. She was abandoned by sponsors and her parents and banned from competition. Now as Janae, she must find her place in society, unable to lose the muscle she once so desperately gained and living between an alpha male and a gentle woman. Will Janae’s transformation bring her the peace she’s looking for?

Beyond the Opposite Sex

Sat Apr 28, 12:45pm Free Community Screening

In this follow-up to Showtime’s 2004 documentaries The Opposite Sex: Jaime’s Story and The Opposite Sex: Rene’s Story, we learn how the lives of Jaime (male-to-female) and Rene (female-to-male) have changed over the past thirteen years.

PLUS Matt Bomer stars as transsexual neighbor Freda in the unlikely L.A. love story Anything. (Sat Apr 21, 5:15pm)

COMING OF AGE AND COMING OUT

My Best Friend (Mi Mejor Amigo, Argentina)

Sat Apr 21, 7pm

Lorenzo lives in rural Patagonia. He’s a quiet teenager, a good student, curious, and more skilled in music and literature than sports. When Lorenzo’s father decides the family will temporarily take in his best friend’s son, Caito, Lorenzo is intrigued by this tough guy from Buenos Aires. As the boys’ friendship evolves toward something deeper, Caito reveals a secret that changes everything.

A Moment in the Reeds (Finland/UK)

Mon Apr 23, 6:45pm

Having moved to Paris for university, Leevi returns to his native Finland for the summer to help his estranged father renovate the family lake house. Tareq, a recent asylum seeker from Syria, has been hired to help. When Leevi’s father must return to town, the two young men establish a connection… and spend a few days discovering one another.

Mario (Swiss)

Sat Apr 21, 9:15pm North American Premiere

Star soccer player Mario has fallen in love for the first time. The object of his affection is Leon, the team’s new striker. When their teammates discover the budding relationship, rumors begin to spread beyond the locker room. Mario fears the professional soccer career he’s dreamed of is in jeopardy. Will he risk it all for the only man he has truly loved?

Postcards from London

Fri Apr 27, 6:45pm

Buff and beautiful teenager Jim (Harris Dickinson, Beach Rats) moves from the London suburbs to Soho where he falls in with a gang of unusual high-class male escorts — The Raconteurs — who specialize in intelligent post-coital conversation. From shy novice to sought-after escort and eventually artist’s muse, Jim would be the toast of the town if it wasn’t for his annoying affliction — Stendhal Syndrome — a rare condition that causes him to hallucinate and faint.

F-F-F-F-FASHION

Antonio Lopez 1970: Sex, Fashion & Disco

Thu Apr 26, 6:45pm

Mentored by Karl Lagerfeld, friends with Grace Jones, roommate to model Jerry Hall, fashion illustrator Antonio Lopez was the toast of the NYC and Paris fashion scenes in the 1970s. His colorful work, inspired by street life, people of color, and a particular take on transgressive sexuality, took the then-sedate world of fashion illustration by storm. This revealing documentary by Douglas Crump is a heady cocktail of fashion, glamour, and disco that’s impossible to resist.

McQueen

Sat Apr 28, 3pm

Alexander McQueen’s rags-to-riches story is a modern-day fairy tale. An unremarkable working-class boy, he harnessed his demons to become a global fashion brand and one of the most iconic artists of the century. How did this punk rebel conquer the silver-spoon world of Paris haute couture, and why, at the height of acclaim, did he shockingly put an end to it all? McQueen is an intimate revelation of a radical and mesmerizing genius.

QUEER HISTORY

Cherry Grove Stories

Wed Apr 25, 9pm North American Premiere

In an era when it was illegal for two men to hold hands in public, the pristine beachfront hamlet of Cherry Grove on Fire Island, NY was a safe haven for gays who were often targeted for arrest and prosecution. Michael Fisher’s oral history of the enclave uncovers long-hidden secrets and exposes little known stories that are more relevant than ever today.

To a More Perfect Union: U.S. v. Windsor

Sun Apr 22, 2:30pm

A story of love, marriage and the fight for equality, this inspiring doc chronicles two unlikely heroes — octogenarian widow Edie Windsor and her attorney, Roberta Kaplan — on a quest for justice that would lead all the way to the Supreme Court.

PLUS: Queerama weaves together fantastic archival images and a soundtrack by John Grant and Hercules & Love Affair to lyrically portray a century of persecution, liberation and pride. (Sat Apr 21, 9:45pm)

DRAG

Alaska Is a Drag

Sun Apr 22, 7pm

Tough, but diva fabulous, Leo is an aspiring drag superstar stuck working in a fish cannery in Alaska. He and his twin sister are trapped in the monotony of fist fights and fish guts and spend their days figuring out how to escape to a better place. Out of necessity, Leo learns to fight back, which catches the attention of the local boxing coach. When a new boy moves to town and wants to be his sparring partner, Leo must face the real reason he’s stuck in Alaska.

SHOW BIZ

Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood

Sun Apr 22, 4:45pm

This cinema-vérité feature, an alternate pre-Stonewall history of Hollywood from director Matt Tyrnauer (Valentino: The Last Emperor), reveals the deliciously scandalous story of Scotty Bowers, a handsome WWII marine who landed in Hollywood after the war and became confidante, aide de camp and lover to many of Hollywood’s greatest stars. An unsung Hollywood legend, Bowers would cater to the sexual appetites of celebrities, straight and gay, for decades.

Still Waiting in the Wings

Sat Apr 28, 5pm

Follow the trials and triumphs of actors waiting tables in Times Square as their dreams of Broadway stardom meet the harsh reality of slinging hash under fluorescent lights. With cameos from: Nick Adams, Ed Asner, Carole Cook, Lee Meriwether, Patricia Richardson, Chita Rivera, Seth Rudetsky, Sally Struthers, Bruce Vilanch, and Cindy Williams.

PLUS: Every Act of Life tells the story of Terrence McNally, one of the world’s most renowned and risk-taking playwrights. (Sun Apr 29, 5:15pm)

FOREIGN-LANGUAGE FLIX

Nobleman (in Hindi)

Wed Apr 25, 9:15pm World Premiere

Struggling with adolescence and sexuality, 15-year-old Shay is terrorized by a gang of bullies in his posh boarding school. Shay and best friend Pia are the studious theater kids. Arjun and Baadal are the jocks and bullies. Events take a sinister turn when Shay walks in on Arjun, Baadal, and their cronies on a debauched night, unleashing a chain of events that leads to tragic consequences. Based on The Merchant of Venice!

Last Days in Havana (Cuba)

Fri Apr 27, 9:15pm

Two mid-forties friends are neighbors: Miguel, a dishwasher who dreams of settling in New York waits for a visa that never seems to arrive, and Diego, a gay man with AIDS who is determined to enjoy every single day of his life from his bed. This odd couple is surrounded by an oddball set of characters from all walks of life.

SAPPHIC STORIES

Daddy Issues

Tue Apr 24, 7pm

Maya, a talented, queer artist, is desperate to attend art school in Italy but lacks the funds to do so. Instead, she spends her days escaping into her drawings and social media, where she pines for the enigmatic Jasmine, an aspiring designer in an emotionally charged, co-dependent relationship with her neurotic sugar daddy. All three become implicitly connected, though none of them realize it, and their respective relationships blossom. Daddy Issues is for the misfits, the dreamers, the lovers, and the loners in all of us.

Disobedience

Fri Apr 27, 7pm

Sebastián Lelio’s (A Fantastic Woman) mesmerizing film follows Ronit (Rachel Weisz), a New York photographer who returns home to mourn her father’s death in the community that shunned her decades earlier for an attraction to a female childhood friend (Rachel McAdams). Once back, their passions reignite as they explore the boundaries of faith and sexuality.

Kiss Me (Embrasse Moi, France)

Sat Apr 21, 7:30pm

Océanerosemarie’s life is full of energy and friends, but mainly of ex-girlfriends: 76, to be exact — but who’s counting! Things change when she meets Cécile. Can Océanerosemarie grow up enough to win the heart of this very special woman?

FAMILY DANCING

Anchor & Hope (Spain)

Sat Apr 28, 5:15pm

Eva and Kat enjoy a carefree existence on their houseboat on a London canal. After the death of their beloved pet, Eva’s dream of becoming a mother is reignited. Kat just wants to get a new cat, but when her best friend Roger visits from Barcelona, they decide in a moment of drunkenness that he can be Eva’s sperm donor. Anchor and Hope is a fresh and funny rom-com with a twist.

Funny Story

Sun Apr 22, 7:15pm

After years of being a neglectful father, a womanizing TV star unknowingly crashes his estranged daughter’s same-sex destination wedding. This delightfully dark comedy takes us on a California coastal road trip full of dreams, love, disillusionment, and tequila-fueled karaoke.

In Between Seasons (South Korea)

Mon Apr 23, 9pm North American Premiere

Though a mother has a close bond with the high-school-age son she is raising alone, she doesn’t realize he is gay, and only finds out after he is critically injured in a car accident. When Mom takes out her confusion and anger on her son’s close friend, the young man deals with the situation more calmly and with greater wisdom than she does. Brought to vivid emotional life by an excellent cast, the film confronts Korean homophobia and depicts a mother-son relationship with searing clarity.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/04/19/outshine-film-fest-is-back-with-its-20th-miami-edition/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2018/04/outshine-film-fest-is-back-with-its.html

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demitgibbs · 6 years

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OUTshine Film Fest is Back with its 20th Miami Edition

Film lovers, rejoice! In most places in the U.S., you’d be lucky to have even one local LGBT film festival. But here in South Florida, we’ve got two.

OUTShine Film Festival Miami

Festival dates April 20–29

Regular screening tix Advance ($11 members/$13 guests) and day-of tix ($12 members/$14 guests) are available at outshinefilm.com or 877-766-8156. (Prices shown do not include ticketing fee.)

Rush tix 10 minutes before any sold-out show, a very limited number of unclaimed and unused tix may be made available ($15 regular screening/$25 special events; cash only). First come, first served!

OUTshine Miami: Hotspots’ Hot Picks

THE GALA SCREENINGS

My Big Gay Italian Wedding (Puoi Baciare lo Sposo, Italy)

Opening Film Fri Apr 20, 8pm

The Marriage (Martesa, Kosovo)

Centerpiece Film Wed Apr 25, 7pm

1985

Closing Film Sat Apr 28, 7:30pm

TRANS TALES

Transformer

Sun Apr 22, 3pm

Beyond the Opposite Sex

Sat Apr 28, 12:45pm Free Community Screening

PLUS Matt Bomer stars as transsexual neighbor Freda in the unlikely L.A. love story Anything. (Sat Apr 21, 5:15pm)

COMING OF AGE AND COMING OUT

My Best Friend (Mi Mejor Amigo, Argentina)

Sat Apr 21, 7pm

A Moment in the Reeds (Finland/UK)

Mon Apr 23, 6:45pm

Mario (Swiss)

Sat Apr 21, 9:15pm North American Premiere

Postcards from London

Fri Apr 27, 6:45pm

F-F-F-F-FASHION

Antonio Lopez 1970: Sex, Fashion & Disco

Thu Apr 26, 6:45pm

McQueen

Sat Apr 28, 3pm

QUEER HISTORY

Cherry Grove Stories

Wed Apr 25, 9pm North American Premiere

To a More Perfect Union: U.S. v. Windsor

Sun Apr 22, 2:30pm

DRAG

Alaska Is a Drag

Sun Apr 22, 7pm

SHOW BIZ

Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood

Sun Apr 22, 4:45pm

Still Waiting in the Wings

Sat Apr 28, 5pm

PLUS: Every Act of Life tells the story of Terrence McNally, one of the world’s most renowned and risk-taking playwrights. (Sun Apr 29, 5:15pm)

FOREIGN-LANGUAGE FLIX

Nobleman (in Hindi)

Wed Apr 25, 9:15pm World Premiere

Last Days in Havana (Cuba)

Fri Apr 27, 9:15pm

SAPPHIC STORIES

Daddy Issues

Tue Apr 24, 7pm

Disobedience

Fri Apr 27, 7pm

Kiss Me (Embrasse Moi, France)

Sat Apr 21, 7:30pm

FAMILY DANCING

Anchor & Hope (Spain)

Sat Apr 28, 5:15pm

Funny Story

Sun Apr 22, 7:15pm

In Between Seasons (South Korea)

Mon Apr 23, 9pm North American Premiere

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/04/19/outshine-film-fest-is-back-with-its-20th-miami-edition/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/173095320255

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hotspotsmagazine · 6 years

Text

OUTshine Film Fest is Back with its 20th Miami Edition

Film lovers, rejoice! In most places in the U.S., you’d be lucky to have even one local LGBT film festival. But here in South Florida, we’ve got two.

OUTShine Film Festival Miami

Festival dates April 20–29

Regular screening tix Advance ($11 members/$13 guests) and day-of tix ($12 members/$14 guests) are available at outshinefilm.com or 877-766-8156. (Prices shown do not include ticketing fee.)

Rush tix 10 minutes before any sold-out show, a very limited number of unclaimed and unused tix may be made available ($15 regular screening/$25 special events; cash only). First come, first served!

OUTshine Miami: Hotspots’ Hot Picks

THE GALA SCREENINGS

My Big Gay Italian Wedding (Puoi Baciare lo Sposo, Italy)

Opening Film Fri Apr 20, 8pm

The Marriage (Martesa, Kosovo)

Centerpiece Film Wed Apr 25, 7pm

1985

Closing Film Sat Apr 28, 7:30pm

TRANS TALES

Transformer

Sun Apr 22, 3pm

Beyond the Opposite Sex

Sat Apr 28, 12:45pm Free Community Screening

PLUS Matt Bomer stars as transsexual neighbor Freda in the unlikely L.A. love story Anything. (Sat Apr 21, 5:15pm)

COMING OF AGE AND COMING OUT

My Best Friend (Mi Mejor Amigo, Argentina)

Sat Apr 21, 7pm

A Moment in the Reeds (Finland/UK)

Mon Apr 23, 6:45pm

Mario (Swiss)

Sat Apr 21, 9:15pm North American Premiere

Postcards from London

Fri Apr 27, 6:45pm

F-F-F-F-FASHION

Antonio Lopez 1970: Sex, Fashion & Disco

Thu Apr 26, 6:45pm

McQueen

Sat Apr 28, 3pm

QUEER HISTORY

Cherry Grove Stories

Wed Apr 25, 9pm North American Premiere

To a More Perfect Union: U.S. v. Windsor

Sun Apr 22, 2:30pm

DRAG

Alaska Is a Drag

Sun Apr 22, 7pm

SHOW BIZ

Scotty and the Secret History of Hollywood

Sun Apr 22, 4:45pm

Still Waiting in the Wings

Sat Apr 28, 5pm

PLUS: Every Act of Life tells the story of Terrence McNally, one of the world’s most renowned and risk-taking playwrights. (Sun Apr 29, 5:15pm)

FOREIGN-LANGUAGE FLIX

Nobleman (in Hindi)

Wed Apr 25, 9:15pm World Premiere

Last Days in Havana (Cuba)

Fri Apr 27, 9:15pm

SAPPHIC STORIES

Daddy Issues

Tue Apr 24, 7pm

Disobedience

Fri Apr 27, 7pm

Kiss Me (Embrasse Moi, France)

Sat Apr 21, 7:30pm

FAMILY DANCING

Anchor & Hope (Spain)

Sat Apr 28, 5:15pm

Funny Story

Sun Apr 22, 7:15pm

In Between Seasons (South Korea)

Mon Apr 23, 9pm North American Premiere

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/04/19/outshine-film-fest-is-back-with-its-20th-miami-edition/

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tragicbooks · 7 years

Text

34 hilarious, sad, perfect tweets that nail what small-town life is like for gay people.

1. As a gay person, growing up in a small town can have its downsides.

Being gay in a small town really sucks 😒😓

— Silver 🌈 (@mutineer__) March 13, 2017

2. It's tough.

I repeat: being gay in a small town sUCKS

— Silver 🌈 (@mutineer__) March 24, 2017

3. For starters, your gayness seems to be the one defining thing about you.

The fact that I'm the only person named Selvin in this town and still have to get "the gay one?" in sequence

— selvin (@fuckselvin) May 3, 2017

4. And it's even harder if there's something else that's "different" about you too.

I'm so in love with this picture. Also, reminder: disabled people are gay too. #Pride2017 http://pic.twitter.com/wJukSty3YX

— Elizabeth Jeannel🍍 (@Elizabethjbooks) June 10, 2017

Eternally relevant memo: LGBTQ people exist across all communities in every country on Earth (including small towns!).

5. You're constantly being asked "the question."

Church with my parents today. Small town, deep south. The term"Bachelor" will be used. "You ain't found a girl yet? #gay@LorenAOlsonMD

— James Ferguson (@gulfcoastferg) April 23, 2017

Not to mention its cousin: "You're still single?"

(*screams with rage into the abyss*)

6. Often you're either desperate to hide who you really are...

Wanting to print pictures at the UPS store but not wanting the small-town owners to know you're gay— Jenna Schwarz (@jschwarz143) May 12, 2017

7. ...or you flaunt it like it's nobody's business...

my gay ass needs merch to show my small ass town I mean business 😩

— pook (@Linzielelievre) June 12, 2017

8. ...until you remember that's not always safe, depending on where you are.

Image via tchaikovsgay/Tumblr.

"You know what’s great?" this Tumblr user captioned the photo above. "Putting some gay stickers on your car and promptly remembering Missouri hates gay people."

9. Spotting another gay couple out in the wild is always pretty exciting.

Cute gay couple in McDonald's. One white, one Asian. Little PDA. I ship it.

— Josh H. (@joshkhorton) June 3, 2017

10. There's not a whole lot do to in town already — but there's even less to do than if you were straight.

wheres my small town gay friend group thatll go chill out and drink on top of a water tower and throw bottles at god with me

— 🌱SWEET🌱 (@cousinjune) June 11, 2017

11. A lot of the time, it can feel like the world is against you.

Gay kid vs. small town in southern Missouri. #gay #lgbtq #missouri http://pic.twitter.com/Rrlnvj5S9Q

— Lane Hanger (@LanesTheName__) February 9, 2017

12. Being gay in a small town is almost like being famous. Almost.

Being gay in a small town is like having the plague and being a celebrity at the same time. People are afraid but wanna know all about it.

— Felicia Tempel (@FeliciaTempel) April 24, 2017

13. Big family events can become needlessly complicated.

Awkward is being the gay boyfriend in law at a small town funeral.

— Matt (@matt_lee_t) April 2, 2017

14. But you'll work hard to find pride in yourself wherever you are.

I do the "sad lonely gay in a small town" thing well.

— Prude of Babylon (@sopranohsnap) May 11, 2017

15. If you're out of the closet, your dating options can be ... limited at best.

Living in a small town and being gay is so hard like i have the choice of 3 girls like guess i'll just date myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

— ☁️CJ☁️ (@Aeriolo) April 8, 2017

16. And meeting other people on dating apps is exponentially more challenging.

Being gay in a small town http://pic.twitter.com/BwhZpFnTgx

— Cas💋🥝 (@hazlounilli) May 27, 2017

17. Like, really challenging.

Image via mywickedway/Twitter.

*yells into megaphone* "Is anybody out there?"

18. Because the dating struggle is real when you're a small-town gay in need of some serious gas money.

"30 miles is a wide radius for Tinder." Something inconceivable to my small town gay ass who has to go 50 miles to reach almost anyone.

— Kenneth Shepard@home (@shepardcdr) May 17, 2017

19. Your big "firsts" probably happened a bit later in life.

my biography would be called 'Sexual Repression: The Story of a Small Town Gay'

— isaac thayne 💥 (@isaacthayne99) May 17, 2017

20. Even finding like-minded friends can be hard.

Today i explained the woe of finding gay friends in a small town, my mom said "why do you need gay friends, Why not just regular friends?"

— lil doggies 🏳️‍🌈 (@owlbard) May 15, 2017

Thanks, mom.

21. You definitely know what it's like to crush on someone who doesn't return the feelings.

#MyFirstLoveWas was unspoken and unrequited. One of the downsides to growing up gay in a rural small town in the MidWest.

— Robert (@DaddyPimpin) May 13, 2017

22. And you look for signs that you'll be accepted wherever you go.

Literally any sign will do.

I was worried about seeming too gay for this small town Oklahoma combination gas station/diner, but then I saw the "sassy chipotle ranch." http://pic.twitter.com/4OBJqmZOav

— Emerson Collins (@ActuallyEmerson) April 26, 2017

23. Like, even this poster for a scary movie about clowns is a fierce artistic inspiration to a small town gay.

When you're from a small town http://pic.twitter.com/a5lMi4wReS

— Gay Geek & Fabulous (@officialgaygeek) June 12, 2017

24. Sometimes it feels like those scary movie monsters are the only ones that get you, actually.

the blair witch is a forest lesbian and the babadooks a small town gay

— thotticus (@FellStrategist) April 18, 2017

Which, yes, is very sad. Do better, Hollywood.

25. Your neighbors likely disagree with your political viewpoints.

Going off the reception of my hat yesterday, my small southern town does NOT want to make America gay again

— Annie 🏳️‍🌈 (@ashirleys) April 10, 2017

26. If more of us felt supported in small towns, there would be no bounds to the good we could do politically.

if every gay couple moved to a small town, bought a fixer-upper, and opened a coffee shop, we could elect a hot young president again soon

— Eric-by-the-sea (@ericschmerick) May 10, 2017

27. Maybe the most difficult thing about being gay in a small town is the feeling that no one truly understands you.

Out of all the gay tropes I could've been, why the fuck am I "the only gay kid in a small, damp Midwestern town"?

— miss steal yo girl (@loserlyons) May 25, 2017

28. But here's the thing: Sometimes your small town might surprise you in the best ways.

AT MY SCHOOL, A SMALL TOWN IN TEXAS, A GAY GUY AND A BI GIRL GOT VOTED AS PROM KING AND QUEEN. LIFE IS GOOD.

— abby (@endgamesanvers) April 3, 2017

29. Even in small-town Middle America, there are places that will love and accept you.

.@SpencerPrideInc, "the world's largest small town gay pride," is coming up Saturday!! 🌈 Ladies of Spencer Pride Drag Show at 4pm! 😁 http://pic.twitter.com/VtZOL5zc5f

— Bendovah Plenti (@justbendovah) May 29, 2017

30. Being able to connect with pop culture outside your town definitely helps a lot, though.

Being a weird artsy gay kid in Small Town, Midwest, is hard (even before you realize you're gay). But David Bowie made it a little easier.

— Jessica Colbert (@JessicaLColbert) January 11, 2016

31. And thank goodness for the rebellious teachers who give you the courage to be who you are.

Grateful! Born n 'Bama (small town) & knew who I was (gay). Gr8t teachers from k'garten-hi. Never a slam. Damn good teachers! ❤

— Tony Morris (@TonyMorris20) March 15, 2017

32. Not to mention those life-changing art and drama classes where you found safety and comfort.

As a gay teenager surviving in a small town arts&humanities were my salvation . The art lovers need to fight as hard as the gun lovers https://t.co/kUDejAkh31

— Benjamin Halton (@benjaminhalton) March 16, 2017

33. Because for all their flaws (and there are many), small towns don't always deserve their reputations.

How I came out, any negativity that I've dealt with and what it's like to live in a small town and be openly gay ☺️☺️ #loveislove

— gabs✨ (@kbonekatic) May 18, 2017

They can be pretty damn great.

34. Hopeful even.

Image via Tumblr user Mo-Mosa/Tumblr.

"You guys know what I just realized? Despite living in a Republican small town, I — a queer, Native-Afro-Latina — was voted Homecoming Queen in the fall and class president of my senior class. I was also one of the leads in my school's musical. Three years ago, I thought I'd never be accepted and that I'd never have friends. I was scared to speak up and scared of being seen. There is hope, y'all. Things get better." — Tumblr user Mo-Mosa

🏳️‍🌈 Positive change can't come soon enough 🏳️‍🌈

Fortunately, there are many organizations fighting the good fight with state and local chapters in your own backyard, should you want the support:

PFLAG is a nonprofit committed to strengthening the bonds between LGBTQ people, their families, and allies in their communities. Its work is crucial in smaller cities and towns across America.

The Trevor Project is an LGBTQ youth suicide prevention group helping kids who feel as though they have no one to turn to. They save lives in small towns.

GLSEN is a national organization aiming to make schools across the country as LGBTQ-friendly and inclusive as possible. Because our small-town schools (and all of our schools, really) need improving.

The Genders and Sexualities Alliance (formerly the Gay-Straight Alliance) brings LGBTQ students and their straight, cisgender peers together to build bridges and understanding.

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socialviralnews · 7 years

Text

34 hilarious, sad, perfect tweets that nail what small-town life is like for gay people.

1. As a gay person, growing up in a small town can have its downsides.

Being gay in a small town really sucks 😒😓

— Silver 🌈 (@mutineer__) March 13, 2017

2. It's tough.

I repeat: being gay in a small town sUCKS

— Silver 🌈 (@mutineer__) March 24, 2017

3. For starters, your gayness seems to be the one defining thing about you.

The fact that I'm the only person named Selvin in this town and still have to get "the gay one?" in sequence

— selvin (@fuckselvin) May 3, 2017

4. And it's even harder if there's something else that's "different" about you too.

I'm so in love with this picture. Also, reminder: disabled people are gay too. #Pride2017 http://pic.twitter.com/wJukSty3YX

— Elizabeth Jeannel🍍 (@Elizabethjbooks) June 10, 2017

Eternally relevant memo: LGBTQ people exist across all communities in every country on Earth (including small towns!).

5. You're constantly being asked "the question."

Church with my parents today. Small town, deep south. The term"Bachelor" will be used. "You ain't found a girl yet? #gay@LorenAOlsonMD

— James Ferguson (@gulfcoastferg) April 23, 2017

Not to mention its cousin: "You're still single?"

(*screams with rage into the abyss*)

6. Often you're either desperate to hide who you really are...

Wanting to print pictures at the UPS store but not wanting the small-town owners to know you're gay— Jenna Schwarz (@jschwarz143) May 12, 2017

7. ...or you flaunt it like it's nobody's business...

my gay ass needs merch to show my small ass town I mean business 😩

— pook (@Linzielelievre) June 12, 2017

8. ...until you remember that's not always safe, depending on where you are.

Image via tchaikovsgay/Tumblr.

"You know what’s great?" this Tumblr user captioned the photo above. "Putting some gay stickers on your car and promptly remembering Missouri hates gay people."

9. Spotting another gay couple out in the wild is always pretty exciting.

Cute gay couple in McDonald's. One white, one Asian. Little PDA. I ship it.

— Josh H. (@joshkhorton) June 3, 2017

10. There's not a whole lot do to in town already — but there's even less to do than if you were straight.

wheres my small town gay friend group thatll go chill out and drink on top of a water tower and throw bottles at god with me

— 🌱SWEET🌱 (@cousinjune) June 11, 2017

11. A lot of the time, it can feel like the world is against you.

Gay kid vs. small town in southern Missouri. #gay #lgbtq #missouri http://pic.twitter.com/Rrlnvj5S9Q

— Lane Hanger (@LanesTheName__) February 9, 2017

12. Being gay in a small town is almost like being famous. Almost.

Being gay in a small town is like having the plague and being a celebrity at the same time. People are afraid but wanna know all about it.

— Felicia Tempel (@FeliciaTempel) April 24, 2017

13. Big family events can become needlessly complicated.

Awkward is being the gay boyfriend in law at a small town funeral.

— Matt (@matt_lee_t) April 2, 2017

14. But you'll work hard to find pride in yourself wherever you are.

I do the "sad lonely gay in a small town" thing well.

— Prude of Babylon (@sopranohsnap) May 11, 2017

15. If you're out of the closet, your dating options can be ... limited at best.

Living in a small town and being gay is so hard like i have the choice of 3 girls like guess i'll just date myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

— ☁️CJ☁️ (@Aeriolo) April 8, 2017

16. And meeting other people on dating apps is exponentially more challenging.

Being gay in a small town http://pic.twitter.com/BwhZpFnTgx

— Cas💋🥝 (@hazlounilli) May 27, 2017

17. Like, really challenging.

Image via mywickedway/Twitter.

*yells into megaphone* "Is anybody out there?"

18. Because the dating struggle is real when you're a small-town gay in need of some serious gas money.

"30 miles is a wide radius for Tinder." Something inconceivable to my small town gay ass who has to go 50 miles to reach almost anyone.

— Kenneth Shepard@home (@shepardcdr) May 17, 2017

19. Your big "firsts" probably happened a bit later in life.

my biography would be called 'Sexual Repression: The Story of a Small Town Gay'

— isaac thayne 💥 (@isaacthayne99) May 17, 2017

20. Even finding like-minded friends can be hard.

Today i explained the woe of finding gay friends in a small town, my mom said "why do you need gay friends, Why not just regular friends?"

— lil doggies 🏳️‍🌈 (@owlbard) May 15, 2017

Thanks, mom.

21. You definitely know what it's like to crush on someone who doesn't return the feelings.

#MyFirstLoveWas was unspoken and unrequited. One of the downsides to growing up gay in a rural small town in the MidWest.

— Robert (@DaddyPimpin) May 13, 2017

22. And you look for signs that you'll be accepted wherever you go.

Literally any sign will do.

I was worried about seeming too gay for this small town Oklahoma combination gas station/diner, but then I saw the "sassy chipotle ranch." http://pic.twitter.com/4OBJqmZOav

— Emerson Collins (@ActuallyEmerson) April 26, 2017

23. Like, even this poster for a scary movie about clowns is a fierce artistic inspiration to a small town gay.

When you're from a small town http://pic.twitter.com/a5lMi4wReS

— Gay Geek & Fabulous (@officialgaygeek) June 12, 2017

24. Sometimes it feels like those scary movie monsters are the only ones that get you, actually.

the blair witch is a forest lesbian and the babadooks a small town gay

— thotticus (@FellStrategist) April 18, 2017

Which, yes, is very sad. Do better, Hollywood.

25. Your neighbors likely disagree with your political viewpoints.

Going off the reception of my hat yesterday, my small southern town does NOT want to make America gay again

— Annie 🏳️‍🌈 (@ashirleys) April 10, 2017

26. If more of us felt supported in small towns, there would be no bounds to the good we could do politically.

if every gay couple moved to a small town, bought a fixer-upper, and opened a coffee shop, we could elect a hot young president again soon

— Eric-by-the-sea (@ericschmerick) May 10, 2017

27. Maybe the most difficult thing about being gay in a small town is the feeling that no one truly understands you.

Out of all the gay tropes I could've been, why the fuck am I "the only gay kid in a small, damp Midwestern town"?

— miss steal yo girl (@loserlyons) May 25, 2017

28. But here's the thing: Sometimes your small town might surprise you in the best ways.

AT MY SCHOOL, A SMALL TOWN IN TEXAS, A GAY GUY AND A BI GIRL GOT VOTED AS PROM KING AND QUEEN. LIFE IS GOOD.

— abby (@endgamesanvers) April 3, 2017

29. Even in small-town Middle America, there are places that will love and accept you.

.@SpencerPrideInc, "the world's largest small town gay pride," is coming up Saturday!! 🌈 Ladies of Spencer Pride Drag Show at 4pm! 😁 http://pic.twitter.com/VtZOL5zc5f

— Bendovah Plenti (@justbendovah) May 29, 2017

30. Being able to connect with pop culture outside your town definitely helps a lot, though.

Being a weird artsy gay kid in Small Town, Midwest, is hard (even before you realize you're gay). But David Bowie made it a little easier.

— Jessica Colbert (@JessicaLColbert) January 11, 2016

31. And thank goodness for the rebellious teachers who give you the courage to be who you are.

Grateful! Born n 'Bama (small town) & knew who I was (gay). Gr8t teachers from k'garten-hi. Never a slam. Damn good teachers! ❤

— Tony Morris (@TonyMorris20) March 15, 2017

32. Not to mention those life-changing art and drama classes where you found safety and comfort.

As a gay teenager surviving in a small town arts&humanities were my salvation . The art lovers need to fight as hard as the gun lovers https://t.co/kUDejAkh31

— Benjamin Halton (@benjaminhalton) March 16, 2017

33. Because for all their flaws (and there are many), small towns don't always deserve their reputations.

How I came out, any negativity that I've dealt with and what it's like to live in a small town and be openly gay ☺️☺️ #loveislove

— gabs✨ (@kbonekatic) May 18, 2017

They can be pretty damn great.

34. Hopeful even.

Image via Tumblr user Mo-Mosa/Tumblr.

🏳️‍🌈 Positive change can't come soon enough 🏳️‍🌈

Fortunately, there are many organizations fighting the good fight with state and local chapters in your own backyard, should you want the support:

PFLAG is a nonprofit committed to strengthening the bonds between LGBTQ people, their families, and allies in their communities. Its work is crucial in smaller cities and towns across America.

The Trevor Project is an LGBTQ youth suicide prevention group helping kids who feel as though they have no one to turn to. They save lives in small towns.

GLSEN is a national organization aiming to make schools across the country as LGBTQ-friendly and inclusive as possible. Because our small-town schools (and all of our schools, really) need improving.

The Genders and Sexualities Alliance (formerly the Gay-Straight Alliance) brings LGBTQ students and their straight, cisgender peers together to build bridges and understanding.

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