#you cant hate the victims and then love/support their abuser

[dirtytransmasc]

mild rant, cause hotd TikTok is insufferable.

so I saw an edit, with the scene of Viserys on his death bed, calling Rhaenyra his only child...

these were some of the comments...

how dense do people have to be to say this shit, as if the abuse/neglect Aegon, Helaena, Aemond (and Dearon) faced, is the reason they are the way that they are????

aegon turned to his cups so young because he had to face the fact that his father didn't love him, his mother had... complicated feelings towards him (he was her first, born of marital rape that destroyed her life and childhood, and she loved him no doubt, but part of her hated what he represented in her life. all of which is Viserys and Otto's fault). not to mention the abuse he faced from Viserys and Otto (focus on Otto, cause he did what he wanted, since Viserys wasn't around enough to thoroughly abuse his son himself and wouldn't punish Otto for doing so). his drinking and need to self destruct to escape a life he doesn't want, turned him into the destructive, drunken bastard he is.

aemond was permanently maimed, an injury that very well could have killed him or hindered him greatly in life, and was ignored by his father, who then supported such an obvious lie instead of protecting his own son (aka, treating the greens and the blacks as equals and not playing favorites, they're aren't asking for miracles they asking for bare minimum). he suffered so greatly and his father couldn't give less of a shit. so on top of everything else, he had this anger boiling in his chest for years and years, stoked by his father's willing negligence. not to mention the fear it cause his mother (who was being manipulated by Otto) that Rhaenyra truly was a threat to his livelihood, which only targeted his anger.

Helaena, on a direct/surface level, was the best off, in terms of her father, but the ripple effect he caused on her life and those around her caused her to be married to her brother, who she didn't love, who didn't live her, and brought her suffering to some degree. it was the war Viserys practically created (tell me he didn't, I dare you) that sent her to madness (amongst other things *ahem* blood and cheese).

like, this man destroyed his children, directly or not, everything he did broke them down and apart, until he died, leaving them with a war that would end them all. his actions made them (Aegon and Aemond) into the people they were, but of course, that doesn't matter, apparently.

#gonna flip my shit #you cant hate the victims and then love/support their abuser #that logically does not make any fucking sense #and before anyone says anything #no I dont not hate rhaenyra/the blacks #they are morally complex and are neither entirely good nor bad #But if I were to choose one said to defend and deem the most 'right' I'm picking the greens and I will fight and die on this hill #also #yes I know what aegon did #no I do not support it/him (after the fact) #what I will say is #I support him up until that point with my whole chest AND acknowledge that he could have been different had his life not sucked so bad #also also #I acknowledge that the whole plotline of Aegon being evil was just to make the greens look worse for the show #so my feelings torwards aegon are complicated and messy #but I will always defend him in terms if the treatment he recieved frim Viserys #hotd #aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #alicent hightower #anti viserys i targaryen #I want this mans head on a stick #anti otto hightower #I wish this mans desth was 10x more painful #lukewarm feelings towards the blacks.... thats all im gonna say #pro team green

[zeldasnotes]

These are my personal observations and not facts!

Asteroid Fan(151590) conjunct Mars means that your fans become aggressive towards you. The admiration turns to envy and competition. They will also be very interested in your sex life.

If you have Lie(3550) conjunct Moon you might have had to lie a lot in your childhood since you had to protect yourself. It can also indicate that your mother lies to you a lot.

Blewett(22927) in synastry indicates a relationship that will end badly.

Someone with Asteroid Chaos (19521) conjunct Mercury has the ability to create chaos with what they say. They create conflicts wherever they go.

Asteroid Psyche(16) in Libra needs a peaceful environment to feel good.

Nemesis(128)conjunct Lilith means you make enemies because of your appearance and sexuality. Secret enemies might hate you for things that has to do with those topics.

Juno(3) in the 1st house loves to take pictures with their partner and show them off on social media.

Ceres(1) conjunct Mars sees working out as a form of self care.

Boda(1487) conjunct Jupiter means that your wedding will take place in another country or that you meet your spouse while on vacation.

People with Groom(5129)conjunct Sun easily loose their identity in a relationship. They see themselves as an extension of their partner. They might change their looks to fit their partners preference. Their existence revolves around their relationship

Any asteroid conjunct the Sun is something that is so ingrained in your personality and who you are that you dont even notice it:

Lilith conjunct the Sun: being sexual and being true to who you are and your beliefs comes natural to you. You just wont back down and have a hard time understanding people who just follow the rules without questioning them.

Nessus conjunct Sun: being abusive and sensing other peoples weak spots comes naturlly to you. You cant help but instantly notice weakness and have to control yourself not to attack.

Dejanira conjunct Sun: Being victimized by others happens everywhere you go. You feel bad for yourself a lot without even thinking about it because you are used to being a victim.

One thing that ive noticed with Lilith dominant people is that they are good at ”handling situations” like they are the person you should call if someone is blackmailing you or threathening you. They do not take stuff like this lightly. Remember how Lilith refused to lay under Adam.

Circe (34) and Medusa (149) aspecting Ascendant or in the 1st house means that men will punish you for their own lust. Men feel a strong sexual desire for you that they feel uncomfortable with and it can result in them punishing you for it. Men might act catty and nasty towards you. Having this aspect as a woman also means that you support other women and take their side over the mans side. In the myths both these women were punished for being lusted after and Circe was seen as a dangerous witch.

Copy: 151590, 3550, 22927, 19521, 3, 1, 1487, 5129, 34, 149, 16

© 2022 Zeldas Notes

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astronotes #lilith #asteroids #lilith in the houses

[djljpanda]

Could you do a amity x fem reader *platonic*

Reader straight up punch odalia then grabs amity while saying “stay away from my child”

And she supports amity in everything she does *amity having anxiety attack whenever she does something wrong or fails, but r wants to show amity the love she deserve and always encourage her even when she suceed or fails*

Amity introduce luz to her and is worried r will hate her but r happily welcome Luz *but she does do the shovel talk. I mean she loves the girl but she protective of her sunshine child*

*this request is totally based on me. I Low-key officially adopted amity as my precious sunshine child that must be protected back in season 2 and I still call her my sunshine child. I even call Hunter sunshine child 2.0. seeing her mom made me upset and I was ready to throw hands at a fictional character😂. I either totally see r either being a mom or older sister figure/mentor to amity*

You remember when the small blight girl had entered you Library asking for a job and all was history.

You had known the blight family since you had gone to school with both her siblings. And your parents went to school with hers so it was easy for her to get a job there.

The two of you would switch shifts or work on the same one. You had even shown her a few secret rooms you found and granting her one. You even fangirl together about Azura together.

But you do remember times where she had tried to give you an attitude and just simply ignored her making her apologize in her own way at the time by talking about Azura and you would just smile and talk with her again after a week with no conversation.

But there are times where you change from the big sister to the mother as Amity walked straight passed you and right away you knew something was wrong. After enough convincing Amity told you about how a girl made her lose that start she has been wearing. "Let me guess you don't want to go home huh?", Amity just looked away from you. From what the twins tell you is that their parents are the worse with a emotionally abusive mother and a father who doesn't pay any attention to his own kids. All you did was sit there and listen on how she vented about her home life. "Can I hug you?", Amity only nodded as you hugged her tight. But sadly you cant really do anything as a teen yourself. But you had always been there when she needed you and you would never complain.

On more of happy note Amity would could a gush about Luz you even took a step back asking if that was the same girl she had tried to fight. But the way she talked about her and you even meeting Luz yourself you knew she was a good match with Amity. You even squealed when you learned that the two are now dating but not without questioning Lux even taking her to the back of the Library calming all you victims are still being looked for.

Even during the fight with Odalia you had been the first to truly attack Odalia wanting to not waste no time on talking to the women. As you attacked her you screamed that this was for Amity and also her siblings I guess.

But you were a bug role on helping Amity and her friends to go save Luz. As when you heard from King that her and the others are now on Earth you started to cry for the facts that she was safe and you might not never see her again.

Buts when they all did come back you had been on of the people Amity tried to look for but had found out you are with her mother as you are "playing" with the collector along with King. Giving Amity more of a reason to fight the collector. She will do anything for her big sister who had helped her and even saved her.

You are just a good sister.

#purple haired amity #toh amity #the owl house x reader #toh amity x reader #green haired amity #amity x reader #amity x luz #lumity #toh x reader #amity blight #the blight family #the blight twins

[dextixer]

Man, it never ceases to amaze me how the anti-RWDE crowd are all fake ass progressives that care more about projecting than anything else. RWDE does not care about the workers? Back when RT drama came out we are the ones who organized to actually help the victims, linked their donation pages, donated etc. YOU people in that moment instead thought it prudent to attack RWDE and did not even talk about RT at all! In fact, some of you even decided to DEFEND RT abuses!

I know that you hate Ironwood and Adam, but can you take your hateboner for those characters (That are not real people) out of talking about the abuses of workers by RT?

Your narrative that "RT is not CRWBY" is false to anyone who can open up google. Its EASY to see that Multiple FOUNDERS of RT or other high-level workers were involved in CRWBY.

Miles was the HEAD WRITER OF ANIMATION. Hes not some random writer. He was responsible for RT as a whole in terms of writing of animated shows.

These people KNEW what was happening around them and said and did NOTHING or even PARTICIPATED in it.

And once again Xelianthought the fake ass "progressive" then decides to lie that people are buying merch. I will need a source on that. I will need a source that RWDE people are buying merch. Because this is yet another narrative, another lie you are clinging onto to have ANY excuse to defend RT (Which you DO).

In reality, its people like YOU who are buying the merch and supporting RT. All so V10 would get greenlit. Because you dont give a shit about the workers, you just want product to be consumed.

All of this bullshit you just stated? Its just projection. Projection from people who do jack and shit besides DEFENDING corporations you love. Fake ass progressives.

It is about the workers. Those who you abandoned the exact time they quit. The people the RWDE people supported.

The only people who are being played are the people listening to your lies in defending a corporation. This is why people like you are dangerous. Just like corporations you pretend to be on the side of the progressives, while arguing for the status quo. You fake ass progressives sicken me.

Now either provide proof that RWDE people are buying merch as you say, or piss off back to your corporate overlords.

(And you know what you are doing, Xelianthought is adept at creating new narratives for corporate defending anti-RWDE ppl to focus on, he knows thats hes lying, he just doesnt care, because being a consoomer is more important to him)

And that is why you people are frustrated. Because many dont believe you. Because many more people know the truth about RT and CRWBY. And you cant stop them. Because your narratives dont work on everyone.

#rwde #xelianthought #canonseeker #answerseeker #fake progressive #rwby #roosterteeth #fndm

[the-owl-tree]

objectively im aware of the issues with a shadow in riverclan but also as a “bad trauma survivor” (read: somebody whos paranoid, lashes out, and self-isolates, currently in recovery) the book speaks to me on a personal level in a vaccuum and i cant really make myself hate it. and honestly some of the criticisms i see get REALLY close to the “if a trauma survivor lashes out at the wrong person then theyre an inherently horrible person” thing thats so common in fandom. if you get what im saying? like i dont think thats what theyre saying (im autistic and have a hard time looking past initial impressions) but also the phrasing is. eh.

its like in the grand scheme of warriors and the writers history of misogyny the issues are there, but the way some people word their takes makes me. Uncomfortable. if that makes sense. (this isnt me defending the writers or looking for a fight just something ive noticed that im having a hard time wording)??

that being said feathertail should have thrown leopardstar into a volcano and i cannot comprehend her decision to forgive her

No no you’re good! I understand what you’re trying to say, I definitely understand where you’re coming from. While I can definitely understand where you’re coming from, I think it’s worth mentioning (and I’m just preaching to the choir here, you seem well aware of these issues so I’m not trying to argue or dismiss your feelings) that Feathertail’s feelings are supported by the narrative. You’re meant to understand why she’s angry and lashing out, her feelings are justified by the story. So when people are discussing this, (and of course, I think being aware of wording and the potential hurt one can cause is important), her lashing out at Sasha in itself isn’t the issue, it’s how the narrative treats it.

Sasha in herself is a “bad victim”, she is someone who loves her abuser and, whether people want to admit it or not, it can lead a lot of people to invalidate the abuse people face because of this. So why is Feathertail able to forgive Leopardstar and not Sasha when the former plays a far larger in what happened to Feathertail? How does that play into Feathertail’s overall larger arc of forgoing outsider attachments and devoting herself to her Clan? And what is the narrative trying to tell us about Sasha, a character who, as I’ve stated, does not play her victim role “”right””?

Not saying you’re arguing that Feathertail’s treatment of Sasha is right, you’ve pointed out you recognized the underlying bias the narrative has. I’m just trying to speak to why this plot line is a bit of a double edged sword in trying to discuss “bad victims”. I definitely understand what you’re saying though, it’s always worth keeping real people’s feelings in mind when discussing these things.

You’re absolutely right on the last point, she should’ve fed Leopard to that fox lol

#deer rambles #discussions of abuse cw #abuse cw #im not proofreading this so if you need clarification lemme know! #obviously disclaimer im just voicing my take on the whole thing #you’re not wrong for feeling a bit uneasy about how people talk #just remember most people are talking about overall trends in the book #and the more unsavory things this book implies

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

zutaras : Maiko is abusive cause she said, "I just asked if you were cold not for your whole lifes story." (clearly they never improve as a couple and remain static cause the beach aint canon so they can ignore zukos bad behaivor )

Zutaras: you cant use zukos past to define zutara but they do it consantly with mai and zuko first meeting katara is a 100 times worse

Zuko invades kataras village/ roughly handles her grandma/ nearly burns the women/children/ nearly runs over a child with his large boat zutaras: Crickets / he redeemed himself/ doesnt count/ season 3 he hired a hitman well thats OOC awkard/ shy baby zuko would never. but aang would def abuse katara and make her do all the chores

Zutara: aang displays predatory behaivor/ abusive behaivor /bad boyfriend behaivor

Zuko throws a man into a wall because mai was talking to his friend/ insults her/ tries to wrap his arm around her after snidly asking, "wheres your new boyfriend? Zutaras: Call the two times he kidnapped her romantic/ Quote a line where he knocked her out as romantic

(and i have yet to see a kataang label zuko a rapistcause we aint braindead and dont want to demonize a child we just point out canon and zutaras just hate canon for some reason)

Zutara: Mai is abusive /katara would never/ worse girlfriend ever /bringing up zukos behaivor means you dont support abuse victims mai saves zukos life: Zutara: OOC // she never feared azula/ mai is toxic/ aang goes to save katara: CLINGY/ BAD BOYFRIEND/ hes obessed with katara zuko saves katara: TRUE LOVE

aang lets katara go and goes into the avatar state zutara: Seems fake that never happened katara:suggest her and aang kiss in cave of two lovers zutara: OOC / This is only happening because their stuck/ katara is his mom Zuko/katara trapped in a cave together: TRUE LOVE UNITES/ they were meant to be see the symbolism

Katara tells toph she doesnt want to be seen as a mom Zutara: MOMTARA is canon if you tell us otherwise your sexist

katara and sokka pretending to be aangs parent= GROSS INCEST tho i recall aang wasa their grandpa once.. its almost as if katara is the only girl who can pass as somewhat older, toph sure couldnt.. its not that deep fam..

zutara: LOK is sexist cuase kataras a mom but if she was the mom of zukos kid it wouldnt be sexist because.. she loves politcs

this is why i cant stand the zutara fandom from the hypocrisy, the igornace of canon, ignoring kataras agency , the hate towards aang, the sexist hate towards mai, the handwaving of aang trauma the sludge i went through with the tags as a zutara shipper.. made me nearly hate the ship.. it waasnt kataang fans that nearly killed a ship/ ruined zuko for me it was zutara fandom. sure not everyone thinks that way but so many of em do and it ruined the fandom experience for me i had to block the tag i still ship but it have zero interest in a fandom that hates the show /main character/ heck im convinced 90 percent of em hate canon zuko /katara cause they sure never talk about their canon personalitys kts all just boring fanon to throw shit/aang/mai worse shipping fandom i ever met..

The only thing I'll disagree with is the point about Mai and Azula. While fear/intimidation/Azula being her princess before being her friend WAS the main reason why their friendship crumbled, it wasn't as simple as Mai being just her puppet. We literally see her deciding, of her own free will, to go help Azula in book 2.

She made a bad choice by joining Azula. So did Zuko. If anything, the complexity of "I cared about this person, but the relationship got toxic and I had to distance myself from them because of it, and now to make things even worse we're in opposing sides of a war" is something they can both relate to - hence Zuko not holding it against Mai, since that is a mistake he also made.

It's almost like they are compatible or something...

#anti zutara #pro maiko #pro mai

[angelicalbones]

just rambling about current events in my life happening right now its a stupidly long whinefest

boyf has been hella depressed the past few days and ive been checking in like "hey do you wanna talk" and every time he says no and doesnt engage any further. he also has told me before about how I linger and suffocate him too much so ive been trying to just do my own thing until he wants to engage

this morning I get up and come sit out on the couch w him bc he once again did not come to bed and slept on the couch and he didnt say a fucking word to me didnt even look me in the eyes. which fine he does that, I curl up next to him and try to comment on the game hes playing and I dont even get the vaguest grunt in response.

Clearly he does not want to speak just like he didnt last night. AGain completely fine I will just go do my own thing so I dont just sit around awkwardly in silence and make him upset by being too close.

Cue him telling me out of no where he is going to his aunt's house bc he cant stand being in the house any longer. I have no issue w that but I can hear in his voice hes angry so I ask him whats wrong. Meaning 'what right now is making you angry' and he fucking snaps on me about how he hates being in the house and asks me if I think everything is fine which no I obviously do not think so but whatever I tell him its totally okay its fine he can go I wasnt gonna stop him I was just asking

he starts to say "im just upset that" and then stops himself and just says "well if you think its fine." and just books it out the door

if he comes home at all tonight I am fucking screwed. He is going to lose his fucking mind at me for giving him his space instead of sitting at his feet silently like a dog waiting for him to decide if he is going to give me any ounce of his attention. He will never fucking effectivly communicate when he would rather be sit w him v when I shouldnt I am literally just expected to know. I want to support him through fucking anything he is the love of my life but this depressive episode is coming at such severe cost to my already exceedingly fragile mental health.

hes just so god damn mean to me when hes like this I cant take it. Im exhausted of never having the right answer. Never doing the right thing. He will say I am the kindest most supportive partner to other people but the second I dont magically know which contradicting behavior he is expecting from me I am the cruelest most evil disgusting sociopathic abuser he knows. I dont know what to do about it. I have no family here. I'm completely alone. if this goes sideways my entire life is over

I have to quit my job, abandon all of my things and move back in w my parents across the country. He has roots here he has family who support him here. He likes to pretend hes this sad little island all alone when Im the one who has *nothing* to my name if he dumps me. He owns like 99% of the shit in this house not that I could move back w anything I own anyway I dont own the fucking car.

he holds my life in his hands but he is the persecuted victim here. hes the one who will lose everything bc of me.

Im realizing hes treating me the way his father treated him and he doesnt comprehend that. Hes being exactly like his father.

i dont know if I can fix that. i dont know what to do w this realization. i jsut wnat to sleep for a thousand years and wake up to a partner who doesnt hate me or lovebomb me.i just want a normal life for 5 seconds

[chumpmagump]

dear mum & dad

TW; mention of abuse

Dear mum and dad,

I don’t hate you for how I grew up, I despise you for the lack of accountability, apology or any expressed regret for how it was. What am I thinking writing this right now. I have no capacity.

Dad why were you violent and screamed and threw things and strangled my mother against the wall in our Sydney home? Why have you entered a marriage now where none of that happens?  Does she know how you were?  Im happy for you but I think your deceiving her by keeping the full truth from how you were. I know you were not happy and you stayed with mum because of us kids, but at what cost. I struggle to trust any man that enters my life and I seem to keep attracting emotionally avoidant partners, much like how you were. You did your best. But it wasn’t enough and I carry the scars for the rest of my life and you should have been finding ways to make it up to me.a phone call once every few months doesn’t really cut it. why couldn’t we have talked about this. Why do you continue to put mum down yet take no responsibility for the harm you caused her and macros and i.

Mum, you’ve been scarred from the men you dated. I get that. You have been so desperate for connection you’ve put it above your own children again and again again. You’ve let people outstay their welcome and you’ve let yourself hurt. You don’t have to keep living in that cycle. You can at any moment decide you and your kids are too valuable to have any man interfere with your lives. Theres only so much time you have to play victim before you and your family really do become another statistic. I believe dad coud have killed you, and I think Andrew could too. Do what you will with that. I have always been hard on you because you have those kids in your care, if this was just you I would leave you alone. You are an adult to make your own choices. But as soon as  you have kids you give up the right to put yourself first and you need make those kids feel loved and safe and appreciated. Imogen looks like a shell, her whole body curls up around her shoulders. That’s trauma. That’s what the body does. Your back looks much the same. So did mine until I rid everyone that wasn’t providing any support.  Give her a hug, give her many. Give her what you couldn’t give me back then. Because you were so beaten down. Make it different this time. You have the power.

I will always be there to help you of getting rid of men. To the day I die I don’t care how fragile out relationship is I will house you and help you on your feet if it means you can change your life and theirs. I have always said that.  I will never use my help against you. But you cant tell me youre going to overdose because of me, and you cant scream at me because your in pain , and you cant tell me I should have called docs on my own father when I was small child. I wont accept any more abuse from you or my dad. In fact you would call me outside to help you not have dad abuse the animals , and when I didn’t come because I was so scared you blamed me. You blamed me as a young child. You do know children rely on their parents to keep them safe. Not the other way around. I wont tolerate you blaming me any more.

The amount of times ive picked myself up the floor or gotten myself home safe contemplating leaving this world, because I felt the pains of what I went through and the fact neither of you can really support me the way I need – countless. I got myself to where I am on my own. I rescued that small child that didn’t have anyone to turn to because to her everyone who loved her hurt her, would love one minute would hurt the next.  I rescue her every time she wants to leave this world. I thank you for your shelter and keeping me alive. You loved the way you only knew how. Please go to therapy and develop a relationship to yourself. There has to be someone deep inside that is hurting immensey to be able to hurt others the way you have. I go to therapy to deal with my trauma. Im 27 years old and I want to be known I needed to send this. I don’t care if you choose to dodge accountability, if you blame each other, I needed to say this for me.  

#personal #journal #2023

[ariesbilly]

If I have to see that fucking "#It’s about breaking the circle of abuse and being better than him' one more time.

Like, Jonathan- yeah, his trauma made him quiet and cautious and he's trying his best and he's good but take into account he had an amazing Mother.

Eddie - yeah he has his friends and takes in the outcasts and that but he didn't overcome any cycle? His dad was a criminal and he's a drug dealer? Not just weed, but like, about to sell Ket to a girl who has clearly never touched drugs before. Also, his Uncle seems good.

Steve - watered down with every episode post-Barbara death. He stuggled with that trauma, yeah, but not brought up enough. His parents seem absent and neglectful, but not quite abusive, which is shit. And he makes a point of protecting the kids (though people act like that's a huge feat and not a fairly common choice for the older to protect the younger, like Nancy and Jonathan don't also do that when the opportunity has arisen), but he still seems to not really want to hang around them outside of the danger moments, hate that "mom" characterisation being shoved down everyones throat by fans, like are you not seeing the moody teen who wants to hook up and move on? He's a wet rag of a man just now, no idea what he's doing except for the terrible Nancy plot being dragged. He didn't have to lose all of that King Steve goodness. Just a travesty.

And then of course the complete absence of Billy. The main character in the show representing being abused and abusing, the cycle, right there. God forbid we actually speak his name with any understanding or empathy, because he fucked up with A B and C so the TEEN BOY LIVING IN ABUSE AND BEING POSSESSED WITH NO SUPPORT AROUND HIM gets no opportunity to make better choices and learn from his mistakes and be better. Even if he didn't die, they'd still want him to just suffer forever. Like, what's the point in anything in life if you can't fuck up and then learn and be better? If you have to just stew in that forever. Who does this help? Who does it help to refuse to let people grow?

the act of billy standing up to the mindflayer was L I T ER A L L Y a metaphor for his abuse (i mean do i think the duffers intended that? no. but is it there nonetheless? yes)

NOBODY on this show has a scene like that

jonathans the only comparable character we can say has suffered abuse but even then its SO watered down compared to what we SAW FIRSTHAND billy go through. jonathans abuse remains pretty vague in comparison. and still. HIS LOVING MOTHER WAS STILL AROUND! HE HAD FAMILY OUTSIDE OF LONNIE!

real cute how this fandom latches on to 3 characters as the beacons of ~overcoming abuse~ when its 3 characters who um.... either have no abuse to speak of or we met them long after their abuser was out of the picture

but the character we meet who was ACTIVELY in the middle of his abuse and suffering clear symptoms because of it? THATS the character yall cant forgive or give him credit for his redeeming moment?

the activism is giving performative....

just say you only want to deal with “easy” victims and go. just say you dont have the emotional depth to deal with trauma victims who are difficult. 

its okay. its not for everybody not everybody has the bandwidth to deal with it

but just because YOU cant handle it, does not mean these people are lesser than or deserve to die/suffer for eternity. YOU need to do some reflecting on how YOU deal with people. 

but billy and people like him certainly dont need that rancid ass energy in their life 

#everybody says they want more portrayals of 'difficult' abuse victims until theyre presented with one #and then its 'oh no not like that hes too problematic' #GET A FUCKING GRIP #briana answers things

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi can you be mad at someone whos going through a hard time? My dad is a jerk to my mum a lot, and shes already gone through a lot in life, like a lot a lot, but shes also abused me and can get really mad with me and just be mean. its confusing inside cos its like i dont like her, but i just feel so much guilt for that because she has no one left and the one guy she loves is a jerk and idk it just makes my stomach flip lol. today she bought us all popeyes, cost a lot too haha, but my dad flat out refused to try it. was so mad at my mum for buying him chicken cos he apparently suddenly hates it, and got really mad at my mum. she ate in the kitchen away from him, then made him some noodles. his response? 'what are you doing, why did you make me them??' like very ungratefully, its hard tk convey tone over text haha. like idk he just demands everything of her all the time, never does anything for himself never mind anyone else. it makes me so mad. and feel so guilty. cos i feel like i cant be mad at mum, i mean its not fair for her im the only one whos nice to her idk how long she has left and i just want her to have a happy life yk? but sometimes she makes me super mad lol. is that allowed? can both feelings exist? i dont know how to properly fix it in my head

Hey, nonnie. The short answer is: yes, you can be mad at someone who's going through a hard time. And, yes, you can be affected and traumatised by a person's abuse even if that person is also going through abuse. Both things can coexist. And, even in scenarios that don't involve abuse, if someone causes harm to another person, that harm doesn't magically disappear because the person who caused it was struggling. Their struggle may explain the harm, but it doesn't justify or nullify it.

I really relate to the fears you express in this ask, because when I was going through abuse, my abusive mother was also going through hell. She wasn't being abused, but she was really struggling, and she repeatedly reminded me I was the only person who still cared about her and supported her. So, for a long time, I also felt extremely guilty for hating her for abusing me. She made me feel like she deserved my support more than I deserved to want to be safe from her. And I felt like any negative emotion I had toward her was selfish and extremely unfair.

But that was the abuse talking, and the truth is that no one, no matter how much they are suffering, is entitled to abuse someone else without consequence. And, as a victim, you are always, always allowed to put your safety first. Even if you're (either supposedly or literally) the only person in your abuser's life who is still kind or supportive towards them, you are allowed to want to stop being that person for them. You're allowed to take any and every step you can to seek safety. And you're definitely allowed to be angry at your abuser for hurting you.

It's okay if this is hard to believe right now. But I hope it helps to hear that the guilt and uncertainty do decrease during recovery, once you've given yourself space and time away from your abuser. It won't always feel like you're horrible and selfish for being angry she hurt you.

I can't remember where, but I once heard someone say that your anger is the part of you that knows you never deserved to be hurt; your anger is the part of you that loves you. That really stuck with me. And, when I started therapy to recover from my abuse, one of the first things I remember my therapist telling me was that once you start feeling anger without guilt whenever someone wrongs you, that's a sign you're getting better. Because anger is the appropriate reaction to being mistreated. Guilt, in this case, is a trauma response.

To reinstate: your mum is going through abuse, and you are allowed to be furious at her for abusing you in turn. They can coexist.

Hope some of this helps to hear. Sending you a big virtual hug ❤️

#Ask #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive mother tw #Abusive father tw #Abusive husband tw #Domestic violence tw #Abusive parents #Trauma

[enzombie]

I just finished season 4 and im. Im ruined. Ive already watched the show like 6 times btw but FUCK. GOD DAMN

Blaine being truly honest for the first time in as long as we've known him by telling angus he made the sign from god, only to get a reality check when his dad isnt as selfish and cowardly as he is, except thats such a mindfuck because his dad is a horrible awful child abusive son of a bitch, and it must have been so confusing to watch the church devour fraud bater under angus's orders. How eagerly angus watches blaines reaction, how he so hopes that makes up for everything, its sickening. Especially at the end of their arc where if i got it correctly, enzo sold them out? Told FMG they'd be coming and led them to a trap? And we saw angus and his flock get shot down. I cant help but feel bad for blaine

Peyton refusing to let FMG get away with moving up the time of the execution, marching into that studio and taking iver the broadcast, being the REASON people SHOWED UP at the warehouse and being right there with johnny fucking frost of all people, and ravi right by her side.

Major leaping over the crowd of soldiers to tackle chase, raging out completely and rightfully after all the shit he had to do for what he believed to be the right cause, only for the leader of that cause to spit in his face by trying to execute the love of his life. Because despite everything they still love eachother still and major is so goddamn pissed hes not gonna let another person murder his kids and get away ith it (even tho we saw so little of captain seattle i do not rememebr his actual name. Or jordans half the time)

Liv's stone cold expression at pulling the level and crushing chase's skull, and being so right about it too. Still tho, it wasnt enough to bring levon back, just like every time she tries to do the thing she thinks is right, someone she loves dies for it. When she tries to shoot blaine on sniper brain but cant, lowell tries to and gets killed. When she saves the chaos killer victims and clive from dying to a zombie, that zombie just had to be drake. When she tries to help human-zombie relations (misguidedly) and save lives by being renegade, she gets a front row seat to levons head being crushed. Her pain is so real idec chase is done with. It wasnt a good ending for her and i can feel that so clearly, even with that hopeful ending scene

My friend and I talked abour how selfish Liv can be when we started watching together (her first time), but how selfish can someone be when they give up the cure for their ailment twice for other peoples happiness?

And Chase. God. That entire decline during the latter half of the season was brutal. When thwy announced renegades execution and the video came out, he was done it was over, there was truly no coming back from this. He was so out of it at the point of the supporters breaking in that his voice cracks when he shouts at major to stop and when he says dont shoot and hes scrambling wildly for some form of control, in this case a gun that he places his head right on the gillutine. I think its a mercy that he died so painlessly.

At least Dale and Clive got a happy ending to the season though, getting married and getting the cure. Clive calling liv partner when they were saying goodbye in chase's office, it was just so bittersweet

Hope its okay that this is so long i just wanted to dump my thoughts onto someone ^^ this show is phenomenal i cant recover from this tonight.

DAMN. THATS A LOT OF WORDS. DAMN.

I uh idk how to respond to most of this cus there's so much but I'll try my best (also why this took so long to reply sorry)

Blaine is a mixed feelings character, he's a fan favourite and he's always enjoyable to watch. Angus on the other hand idk a single soul who likes that bitch. Say what you will about Blaine, but Angus was EVIL. Shout out to Enzo for killing him off fr. We are grateful. All my homies hate Angus.

Also Enzo didn't exactly sell them out, he more completely set them up - he went directly to Blaine and Angus to make sure they went the exact route, made sure he was there for all the final plans, he collaborated directly with the US military to get rid of Angus and his pals. Like it wasn't a split second betrayal it was a planned execution, he knew full well Angus would take the bait and was probably hoping Blaine would too. I'm not sure if it was even an official FG operation because as far as we know, Chase didn't hear anything back from Enzo about the church. He didn't tell the press his name, he was the only FG personnel there - I'm sus that he just took it upon himself to deal with them. King behaviour.

And yeah Peyton was girlboss at the end of season 4 but it's like. When her bestie in danger she got all this proactive shit but when she's acting mayor the energies like half that. Makes me mad.

As for major. Little sympathy. Oh did your child soldiers get killed? Maybe child soldiers are a bad idea? Maybe you wouldn't be upset if you didn't have children as soldiers in the first place? Maybe giving untrained children weapons is guaranteed to go badly and end with them injured or killed? Do you think? Like. Honestly. And the way he was with Levon. Major was weird in season 4 idk. And I disagree with them killing Chase. There's so many worse people in the show that she can't bring herself to kill but Chase she executes without hesitation. He wasn't even that bad. I don't think its very fair for him either. Like he was trying his best to keep Seattle under control, and renegade was actively making everything worse. And if you think he was doing a bad job what came after in season 5? With Major: terrorism and hatecrimes peaked and he did nothing, he made Seattle completely reliant on Blaine who (bless him) is not trustworthy and not a good person and is obviously going to be a controversy. With Enzo: the second he took over, Majors mistakes blow up and Seattle dealing with civil war. Not to mention Enzo isn't great at de-escalation, at any point - not even just when he's in charge, since his introduction he walks in and makes situations worse on purpose (can't help being a girlboss)

As for your question about Liv being selfish - it's shortsightedness. She'll do selfless things that make her feel good but she won't consider the consequences. Stuff like giving up the cure is fine, not really any consequences, she gets to help her friends. The renegade stuff, she gets to scratch sick people and feel good about it - but the whole of Seattle gets closer and closer to dying horribly every time she does. It's like only caring about what's directly in front of her. Irritates me a little tbh. Especially when she's one of the only zombies not experiencing the food shortage so it's just this whole privilege thing while thousands of people are at risk.

Clive and Bozzio are so precious I love them so much they deserve everything. That's all.

Anyway, hope you and your friend enjoy season 5✌️

#izombie

[realhankmccoy]

typical white americans are always saying the past is the past.

empire is always saying the past is the past and anybody who would want you to feel guilty about anything is the actual bad guy.

this is all rooted in whiteness -- bourgeois people from fundamentally pearly white gate homes

for trust, black America and Native Americans absolutely do not feel this way as often and as blithely in comparison

and they still might want you to feel guilty and not only apologise, but also pay out -- for things that didn't happen in their lifestimes.

i absolutely support them in this. you can't just snatch something from somebody and then hoot THE PAST IS THE PAST NOW YOU'RE THE BAD GUY FOR WANTING ME TO MAKE AMENDS I HAVE MOVED ON WHY CANT YOU two seconds later

nor 50 years later

nor 100 years later

let alone you know, a matter of months ago.

my dad loves to try to get me to 'just move on' every time he abuses me. SO WHAT THAT WAS LAST YEAR THAT I PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED YOU AND YOU LET ME OFF THE HOOK. AND I"LL DO IT AGAIN IF YOU DON"T SHUT UP ABOUT IT.

Bruce's message to all the world, especially blacks in America: GET OVER IT MOVE ON MAKE NEW FRIENDS WORK HARDER TRY AND BE BETTER THAN YOU ARE BE LIKE GRACE JONES SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE ALL UGLY PLAYING THE VICTIM I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU.

there are many people like Bruce and my dad.

some people have long memories and want the word to get out about who can't be trusted, who's a piece of shit and who's a deceitful narcissist who thinks everyone else is just as shitty as them (which is total projection).

fuck America's whiteness and every spoiled brat who's an unwitting component of Empire, and sometimes they know who they are and sometimes they don't. usually, they don't. do they care? No. They don't care at all and that's why I'm glad i figured them out sooner than later. Real pieces of shit who only care about themselves and know nothing of solidarity with anything beyond white conquistadors...

who are their friends and lovers

and who are worse than fucking useless on fighting the so-called system they pretend to fight. they don't understand the country, they don't understand themselves, and they can't even produce a quality bit of anything that interests me -- the only thing interesting about a certain white imperialistic type of freedom loving American individual is that they're a great unwitting codex to exactly what's wrong with white nuclears in America.

(gross)

to the white American, life is about 'get over it! find something new! new product lines, new people new lands new entertainments! NO REPARATIONS EVER!!!!!! FUCK THAT!!!!!! IT WAS HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO!!!!! IM THE BOSS IM THE LEADER!! IM THE BEST!! NOW! YOU ALL LEARN FROM ME TRY TO EMULATE ME I WILL SHOW YOU THE WAY THERE WASNT ANY SLAVERY THERE WAS NO THIEVERY FUCK MEXICANS AND GET OVER IT!!!!

the white American is absolutely, fundamentally disgusting when it acts this way -- at least to me.

#usa #america

[psychiatricwarfare]

I posted 9,010 times in 2022

That's 7,446 more posts than 2021!

103 posts created (1%)

8,907 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blizz4rd1203

@daughter-of-sapph0

@chaosdisorganized

@imdrinkingyourmilkshake

I tagged 544 of my posts in 2022

#bug talks - 93 posts

#unreality - 23 posts

#ask - 13 posts

#actually dissociative - 12 posts

#bug answers - 11 posts

#me - 10 posts

#dpdr - 9 posts

#<3 - 6 posts

#actually traumatised - 6 posts

#traumacore - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#and ever since i annoy everyone i know throughout the holiday season with how unnecessary the overwhelming amount of christmas there is

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

currently thinking about narcissus and how he was turned into a flower as a gift from the gods so he could stare into his reflection forever because of his adoration for himself and his own beauty and somehow that incredibly beautiful story of self love is somehow depicted today as narcissus being this incredibly selfish and evil human being who was stripped of his humanity by the gods as punishment despite being turned into a flower being an act of love from the gods in other myths

anyways i hope all narcissists (and anyone with one or more cluster b disorders) have a wonderful day, the gods love u and i do too 🖤

46 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#4

i hate that when trying to research certain disorders (for example aspd) all the criteria just says some bullshit like "theyre just terrible people, disgusting human beings with no regard for others" like shut UP im trying to learn actual psychology not your little ableist headcanons omfg this is why mentally ill people hate psychologists

all the diagnostic criteria is like "they lie, cheat, steal, theyre deranged" as if people with aspd cant choose to be good people, as if theyre doomed to be this sick stereotype society thinks of them as

its beyond infuriating because it also implies that any criminal with a mixed criminal history is more likely to be able to get an aspd diagnosis than an actual abuse victim whos developed aspd as a result its just so fucking infuriating how professionals think the criteria for some disorders is "theyre visibly bad people" and not, like, having symptoms

68 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

#3

fellow insane people, if youre listening to something for a while, like the sounds when playing a video game or a certain song or whatever, can you still hear it after you turn it off? like, not it being stuck in your head, actually hearing it? full on auditory hallucination. and if so, why does that happen? its very confusion and actually terrifying sometimes

84 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#2

here's your friendly reminder that disability advocacy has to be intersectional!

happy disability pride month to BIPOC disabled folk!

happy disability pride month to queer disabled folk!

happy disability pride month to disabled women!

happy disability pride month to those with physical disabilities!

happy disability pride month to those with mental disabilities!

happy disability pride month to those with invisible disabilities!

happy disability pride month to those with visible disabilities!

happy disability pride month who are unable to work due to their disability!

happy disability pride month to those who are seen as "Not Disabled Enough"!

happy disability pride month to those whose disabilities arent recognised as a disability!

happy disability pride month to those who require any amount of mobility aids!

happy disability pride month to those with high support needs!

happy disability pride month to those with low support needs!

happy disability pride month to people who are demonised because of their disability!

happy disability pride month to literally every kind of disabled person!!

1,708 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

crazy how every mentally ill/disabled person i know, knows more about psychology than most psychologists i know

absolutely wild how every physically disabled person i know, knows more about them than almost every professional i know

its almost like they should listen to us or something

4,292 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #b talks

[icselpatlamalar]

I was a person who were lonely. For time sake i will give definete zones. I realized i was suicidal and alone in 2018 summer when i see that i have no one to talk about my problems and my depression. I geniounly were gonig through life all alone. I was surrounded by alot of people who were spouse to be the bests of the country but no on was there for me. I felt spriitually, universally anondened and felt broken for being alone. I never knew still dont know why i am alone.

I had an abusive ex who did me so mcuh bullshit unless i love them. They would abuse me when i dont love them. I tried to escape but they countinuesly theratened me. This became a pattern in alot of my relationships and friendships. I always find people who would try their god best to destroy me, when all i am every going is the “good” i presume. I never ment to hurt anyone and if i hurt anyone, i geniounly dont give a fuck, let it count since i have been abused multiple times, you can handle one punch.

I was collectively mistreated, seen as an alien, always tried to be silenced, used for support, but never there were 1 single person who wanted to understand or love me. People dont even wanna get to know me on surface level. Everyone just wants me to love them automaticly. I dont even know why this keeps happenng? I keep many boundries, i even strted to be more agressive and cut troat with people. But people keep wanna see me dead. As is i am an collective martydom i didnt choose to become. I dont want this. I want people to love and respect me. But i never got that did i? 

I even cut out, leave, manipulate peopel to stop being a dick to me, but people just wanna see me cry and die. I dont have any idea why people hate me so passionately. Why they wanna kill me omfg. I didnt do SHIT. 

All i did was be nice to people, people who were fucking sucial and desperate for some goodness in life. In return i got backstabbed, riddculed for nothing, framed, gaslight, manipulated, hates, covert nated, got jelous, clinged on to, blackmailed, threatened with suicide, and threatened in many forms. I have strong boundries but people keep doing this. I felt so tired but even in grave people wanted to abuse the fuck out of me. I need some alone time.

I never get why people hate me so passionalety and want me to die when i am the only good person who geniounly love them. I mean you can hate me and not love me. I was never as close as many of these people told me i was to them anyway. I really dont get why i am being pulled and pushed in stories that never existed. I was and am a person who geniounly want good shit to manifest and happen in the world. Currently, sadly i am focused entirely on myself and my own enjoyment + career + life. I am no longer runnign around trying to be a god or a heroe. I am just trying to be ME. And i guess people hate that.

I cant lie or make excuses or act like im not hurt. Bitch i was literally attacked by 10 people daily. Ofc i am traumatized and hateful and still have a huge anger towards me. Because this was not my intention or my life that people try to empose on me. I wanna be a good guy but everyone wants to pull and push me into the victim state. I am not a victiom of anyone but these peoples bullshit.

I am letting go shit go, cuz this was important to me. I cant be a fake hoe.

I cant believe people hate me cuz i wanna be alone in my peace. I cant. Just i fucking cant. I put boundries and walla and even trow bombs but people just wanna fuckingkill me i dont even know why people hate me so fucking passionatly when all i did was be the only one who helped them omfg. I wish i never gaved a fuck about hoes.

I did that because i gone through depression and heartbreak alot. I know how it feels to be n this position. But i even had people who stalked me for years to frame and gaslight me because i friendzoned their ugly fuckign ass. Go fucking cry to your ex that you never had Or other people who cant speak up to people but blow at me. I am not a fucking btoom feader. I dont give a fuck or care.

I just feel like all my effort to make a world better place is not swept under the rug as “people pleasing” cuz i am sick? I am a bad human for why?

People try to fuking ruin my life and my mental health when they cant access me with their petty bullshit. I am done. All my friends were petty shit heads and i no longer give a fuck. I had a horribly bad life. I never had a good friends, i always had shit friendships. I always had shit people around me. 

I am done being the scapegoat for thing i never did. Tiem to ttack and frame people for who they are.

[lapata-lupt]

you guys wanna know something actually funny? I loved depp, like a lot. u can ask anyone who knew me, he was my obsession, I have 3 shirts with his face on it. I liked him like I like magnus bane rn, and constantly thought of him and his characters. And I HATED amber heard. I just kept being like she does not deserve him, she is using him for money, she is so bad at acting, and then the case happened and I hated her A LOT in 2015 or whenever that happened and yeah. I very clearly remember cutting out her face from delhi times articles and scribbling over them, I hated her... and rn I haven't even researched that much i cant even function like dont expect me to get into case research but all it took was a couple of love recordings of the court proceedings and I just. dont support depp. I kind think it was mutual abuse, and that is not to just take a neutral stand, that's how toxic relationships work. although after the dramatic sexual assault allegations, I dont know how much truth is in amber's allegations, so I have ended up settling on mutual abuse cause both sides are lying just like they both were toxic before. and I dont want to think more of it but it fucking pisses me off when I see people trying to paint depp of all an abuse victim. like have people forgotten any sense of power dynamics? he is a rich old famous as fuck white man?? do people dont get how ugly addiction can make someone? and people who are using amber's diagnosis including the illiterate psychiatrist dont even fucking come near me, that's disgusting. it's so clear that every depp supporter is doing this for their attraction with him, they conveniently just chose to ignore his rash behavior that's on fucking recording. and it's so fucking funny that people are like oh no this is the rarer case of female abuse, but boy you use that argument in every single case and end up defending the guy anyways? you are not being revolutionary, you are just feeding into the same systems but after making 2 rounds so that you can feel better about urself. she came out and did this before the me too movement started, and she did this and dragged her name through mud before her career had even begun and she has already lost it all. a nice white victim man doesn't talk about fucking a dead corpse of his wife when he is angry. and people just really don't even fucking get physical abuse, and start talking about amber hitting johnny as "physical abuse" appropriating heavy terms as they deem fit. there conversations seem so strangely familiar to me, my parents have them all the time btw. ever heard of responses? or no you wanted her to be a good christian woman and take it even of her husband was being bad cause she answers to god??? she wasn't the best, the fact she didn't give all her money to the foundations she promised seems weird, but she has proved herself well in the courts and she is winning because of it but no one wants to pay attention to that because they are too busy to own up tryna save a 70 yr old man's casting in a movie made by a transphobe, getting offended at shit like "fat old man" and a finger cut which even if u believe depp's account is stupid like grow up. And oh oh when johnny is throwing up after taking drugs voluntarily over and over he is in a bad place depressed and sad and its disgusting that amber isn't supporting him at the time instead using it against him, but when she leaves "fecal matter" in his bed she is abusing him like what is going on

#dnr do not re blog

[dylanobrienisbatman]

The main problem with the whole mal vs the darkling thing in regards to being possessive (or really when it comes to any of their traits) is the fact that throughout, the darkling is clearly framed as the villain and his actions reflect that, whereas Mal as supposed to be the good guy and best romantic partner for Alina, and yet he has all these awful character traits and tendencies. So its less about how awful the Bad Guy is (since he's supposed to be), and more about how awful the person that we're supposed to believe is the best option for Alina is. I don't ship either, just my two cents.

Okay well... two things. First, your comment about "its less about how awful the bad guy is, since he's supposed to be", takes every comment I've made about Darkles out of context, which seems fitting since everything Darklina's spout about Mal is out of context. Him being the Bad Guy is fine, and if you like him AS A VILLAIN, and acknowledge all the bad shit he does, then my posts aren't for you. I think he's a very interesting villain, and a lot of the terrible shit he does that I have to keep making posts about make him a good villain, the problem is when the terrible shit the "Bad Guy" does is romanticized and viewed as the reasons why Alina SHOULD have picked him. So, don't assume everyone gets that "hes supposed to be awful". The point my post was making is that Darklina's love to call Mal possessive, but then turn around and act like Darkles literally enslaving her in somehow sexy and romantic. It's fucking not, and it's transparent as hell that y'all romanticize and sexualize the actually possessive character, and then project false character traits onto Mal. It's so transparent, it's almost funny.

But, more importantly, to your second, very wrong point, I wonder how much of the narrative about Mal having "awful character traits and tendencies" is actually a commentary on Mal as a character, or is it just Darklina's lying about things Mal has done and everyone accepting that misinterpretation as canon. Because, if were making a list...

Fuck boy - False! Mal was not a fuck boy! He was an attractive teenager who hooked up with consenting girls his age when he could, and he was not in a relationship during that time. Alina had never told him how she felt, so he is not beholden to her. (Also, nobody seems to have an issue with the fact that Darkles hooked up with Zoya in the show, that doesn't make HIM a fuckboy... interesting) (also also, nobody seems to discuss Darkles literally sexually assaulting Alina, and lying and manipulating her to get her to be physically intimate with him so he can use her... double interesting).

Slut Shames Alina - FALSE! The ever favourite callout line from Darklina's "He's all over you" isn't him slut shaming her. First, he has no idea what their relationship is like at that point, but more importantly, he is making an observation of her status in the little palace and how she has become his tool. He has dressed her up in his colors, made her put on a show for his benefit, and has created a situation where Alina appears to be his. Mal is noting that after months of searching for her, believing she was being hurt, tortured, or worse, when he arrives to save her, she looks like the Darkling's pet. (and, even if he WAS angry because he perceived them to be romantically involved, boy just spent months fighting for his life, lost multiple friends, and almost died to find her, all while coming to the realisation that he was in love with her, and then he shows up, after not hearing from her for months... I'd be pissed as hell too.) Important Note: He even acknowledges that what he said was wrong and tries to apologise, before Alina tells him that he was right. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 286). He also then apologizes, completely unprompted, for what he said. (Shadow and Bone, pg. 297).

Fat Shames Alina - False! This one is particularly laughable to me, because its one of the Darklina arguments that falls apart the second you actually read the scene. They are running for their lives in the forest, and Mal has to hunt and gather to feed them. He is noting that Alina's appetite has increased since he last saw her, and he makes a joke (ya know, how you do with friends) about how it would be easier to keep her fed if she still had her more meager appetite from before. He makes no comment on her weight, or her size, and he is not actually commenting on her appetite in a negative way, he is just acknowledging that it's a lot more work for him now that she eats more. Right before he says the line, the quote even proves that he isn't shaming her or thinking badly of her: "With a bemused expression, he watched as I gobbled down my portion and then sighed, still hungry". He is noting a change in her, and complaining that its made more work for him. If you think thats the same as fat shaming, well... thats a you problem.

Hates Alina's Powers - FALSE!!!! How to begin... do we talk about it was Mal's idea to hunt the stag in S&B, because he knew she needed it to be more powerful so she could stop the darkling? Do we talk about how he vowed to find the firebird for her, even though he was terrified of what all that power would do to her? Do we talk about how he literally died so she could achieve the power she needed to save the world? Or maybe we could talk about how he believed in her power more than anyone else, like when everyone was making bets about her abilities with the Cut and he knew she'd go further and better than anyone else expected her too, or when he tells her that he was never afraid of her powers, only what seeking all that power would do to her (which is literally the theme of the books, that power corrupts and seeking unmatched power can destroy you)? Mal being afraid of what is going to happen to Alina, being protective of her and worrying over her, is not the same as him hating her powers. He exists to help remind Alina of the themes of the story, and to guide her into maintaining her humanity.

Abusive - ... Do I even need to explain this one? Must I deign an explanation as to why this favourite Darklina lie is so fucking stupid, and also totally hypocrisy? No? Because we all know Darkles is actually the abusive one and they're trying to project their own shit onto Mal to further their abuse apologist agenda? Cool. Moving on.

Possessive of Alina - False! Throughout the entire series, Mal is quite literally the opposite of possessive, but yall just cant read. Not only does he quite literally step out of the way and allow Nikolai to court Alina without argument, which is the most direct example of him not being possessive, he also spends two full books believing, and repeatedly saying over and over and over, that they can't be together because he is not good enough for her. Mal believes, fully, that Alina deserves more than him, better than him, because he's just a tracker and a soldier, just a regular man with nothing to offer her but his love and his protection, and she is a Saint and should be a Queen. Possessiveness is the wish to own and control someone, it is literally the opposite of Mal believing that he's not good enough and doing everything he can to ensure that Alina achieves everything and gets everything he believes she is owed. A possessive character would not tell her to tell him to leave because he has nothing he can offer her, no title or land or country or crown. A possessive character would not promise to be the blade in her hand, because he believed he had nothing but the blood he could spill to offer her.

Angry - True! Yeah, omg, you caught us, Mal is ANGRY! Heaven forbid a teenager who is traumatized beyond belief and has to give up everything in his life, his position in the military (he deserted for her), his friends and the job he loved (Mikhail and Dubrov died for him, and he can't be a tracker in the army... because he deserted... for Alina), and, most importantly, he has to give up Alina (she should be Queen, he believes, and he has to give up the future he imagined with the girl he loves, who he was pretty sure loved him back, because she's a saint and queen and he's just a man), and more, is ANGRY. He has to be the one to find the amplifiers that he knows will end up hurting her, because thats what she needs to save the world. He has to sit by while Nikolai treats him like the dirt on his shoe and tries to woo Alina for his own personal gain (because Nikoalai did not love Alina. Maybe he came to care for her, but he proposed and spent all of S&S trying to get her to marry him when it was obvious they were not in love. He straight up says its so that the next King of Ravka can be married to the Sun Summoner. It's a power grab.) and he can't do anything about it. So yeah, Mal is angry. And yeah, sometimes he's even angry at Alina, just like sometimes she's angry at him. But they always find their way back, always apologize and try to be better for each other, and if you think anger is a toxic trait, and not simply a natural human emotion, might I suggest touching some fucking grass?

Idk why you thought I'd stand for Mal slander on my blog, cuz I will not. So, I'm gonna stop there, because I have shit to do today, but I really do wonder how much of Mal's 'toxic' or 'terrible' traits, that make him such a 'bad' love interest for Alina, really comes from Darklina's who refuse to actually read the text critically at all, and instead take everything he does and says out of context to further their agenda that Alina should have ended up as the Darkling's fucking slave forever, because thats the "girl power feminist" ending somehow. Mal supports her, loves her, sacrifices for her at every turn, and does everything he can do, to the point of literally dying for her, to ensure that she can defeat Darkles and save the world. He protects her, and when they end up happy and safe together on the orphange that they've rebuilt to help the children that were victims of Darkles war and genocide, he spends his days bringing her tea and cakes and flowers, kissing her silly under the stairs in the view of all the teachers, and calling her names like beauty, beloved, cherished, my heart for the rest of their ordinary life together, if love can ever be called that.

#Malina #anti darklina #malyen oretsev #mal oretsev #shadow and bone #if yall could just learn to fucking read... i am begging you