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boxwinebaddie · 1 month

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STAN HAS THAT K CHOKER RIGHT? DOES THAT MEAN KYLE HAS AN S NECKLACE? like he could totally stack his s necklace with his star of david one

aaaaaaaaa

you know i love a lil matchy-matchy moment~

and actually, i accumulated a lot of different asks actually, mostly, interestingly enough asking me about the same roundabout thing: if jersey wears rings, how he feels about jewelry, if he has any tattoos or other piercings, stuff of the like, etc.

but i never got around to answering those because i'm kind of a perfectionist and i get all worked up in my head about how i'm going to answer things because i want them to be perfect ( i keep trying to structure nsfw ask like it's a nine page research essay, smh ) buuut

basically, as we all know well, jersey is…Particular.

particularly abt himself and what is done to him/on him.

( okay, fair warning: the rest of this answer is very long and i just talk a lot about the former question about jersey/his attachments to material things and also physical-emotional things — people — you do not have to read all that...the short answer is yes, kyle does stack a stan 's' necklace with the star of david, i talk about it more at the end, but this intro part is a lot of exposition and information. so if your curiosity does not end there...perhaps i can further it below xx )

a lot of it ties into his ocd and this need to control every aspect of his life, not being able to put it in anyone elses hands but his own because he's scared of that improbability...that margin of error.

it keeps him up at night.

for that reason, even though he has a ton of health issues, diabetes, etc. he is extremely Defiant and Volatile in doctors offices. like, he will start throwing shit, rip ivs out of his arms, ask you to explain what you are giving him In Detail and will probably still refuse to take it.

tbh, the only reason he's taking any medication at all is because he really loves sheila and she is extremely worried about losing him </3

( jersey is a mommas boy, i said what i said! )

but he takes his own blood sugar, pricks his own fingers, runs all his own tests...he really does not trust anyone else w/ that kind of thing. which ties into piercings because he does...think that they're…lowkey, highkey *jersey vc* Hawt, i’m sorry; it's true.

i do think it's his...Thing.

the man really just wants a little hot topic emo boy accessory display for a boyfriend and he is right for that. cute, shiny, edgy. i respect it.

eye candy, arm candy, if you will?

( jersey is extremely partial to candy, ofc <3 )

and idk, maybe it's just a me thing, but to me, jerseykyle, specifically, is very conceptual and is intrigued by fashion and stuff, but because when he was overweight growing up, he was sort of just shoe-horned into all this oblong, ugly clothing, whatever would fit or they could afford. so he never really got to be able to wear things he wanted to, until about right now and it's been really liberating for him? idk? aaa

i love sleek, chic, dark academia, tired 1940s evil classics professor, thrift store couture jersey in his dollar store blazers and italian loafers. like my man is an off duty model, forreal. i am obsessed with him.

and actually he really Likes tattoos and piercings and dyed hair and thinks all the little rings are cool because you're like this living art form, this distinct individual, there's a uniqueness, a cool rebellion there he can’t create have within himself, so he combats/masks it as disgust and disinterest because he doesn't like to process his complicated feelings and also doesn't like forming attachments...especially...

...to things he's inexplicably Drawn to.

which is why, initially, upon even just bearing witness to raven of crimson dawn, kyle freaked out because he was like immediately Extremely Attracted to him because he checks all these little boxes in his brain, but his brain, of course, is corroded by mental illness and trauma, so he immediately projects extreme amounts of hostility in raven's direction because he is like you're all chaos and disorder, you're a mess, you throw caution to the wind, You’re Unpredictable.

when he’s actually obsessed w/ that capricious energy?

like he makes fun of stan for all his punk rock boy 'hood ornaments' and 'anarchical embellishments', but his heart starts racing every time stan winks at him and his little eyebrow piecing winks back, or he runs his tongue over that lip ring kyle got hyperfixated on, partially because it's pretty, which...rip, not even joking…

if stan comes out in the support rock, fuck a rockstar tank top, the tiny pants and sports that little lip ring chain thing that connects to the cuff on his ear...it does something seriously ( down ) bad to kyle's brain and stan is immediately getting Railed. soz if you were waiting for stan's autograph, hes gettin ky's all over his body. woops.

but!!! it's mostly bc stan had the courage and hedonism to put something through his lip and live with it. that he could get other piercings, get tattoos, let people handle him, put his life into someone else's hands, let them have control for a second, knowing they are executing the thing you want/need without you doing it...

it's literally All a control thing.

or rather, an inability to lose it.

because he's very particular, yeah, about what he likes and doesn't like, he won't wear any fabrics that itch or bother him, he won't buy something if the hem pisses him off, if he has to wear something he doesn't like, he will bitch and moan the entire day about it. and while it's good to have that level of self-assuredness, it's also kind of a self-preservation and self destructive coping mechanism for jerseykyle.

because he pushes everything out...

but doesn't let anything else in.

and a lot of that changes when raven/stan comes back into the picture, because when they were growing up, stan was this beautiful, glowing fixture of nonconformity, this pillar of strength that was twice as strong as he was, even though kyle was the fighter. because stan fought for self-acceptance and kyle fought for self-loathing.

and really...the reason why his ed developed in the first place was because gerald and society as a whole brainwashed him into hating himself and that people would only digest him if he was in small enough, beautiful, palatable enough pieces to eat so even though he acts out or throws punches: It’s All Within The Lines.

or the confines, rather.

of the person he thinks people want him to be.

but, idk, i'm talking too much. basically, gist is, kyle has a hard time handing over control to other people/being vulnerable and the final piece to that is...permanence.

a piercing...a tattoo...is Permanent.

i mean, sure, they close up and you can get them removed, but you are irreconcilably changed and altered. you are different now.

anddddd sigh, the jersey can't say i love you ask strikes again! because jersey can't say i love you because it's handing over control, because it's vulnerable because it's...permanent and he has extremely deep-seated commitment issues because of all of that.

which means he rarely, if ever, makes said commitments.

so when he Does...

it's a very special thing indeed.

because jersey has no tattoos or piercings on his body.

save for the sun/moon one he got on his ring finger for stan ( i can never decide if i want jersey to have the sun tattoo because he is the sun or if he has the moon one so he can wear rae around with him )

*** ( i also think it's possible he might get little hebrew things for his mom or idk, something very important later...i'll think about it more )

and...One ear piercing.

i was going to go at this in more comical and dramatic way in an old post, but basically, i think kenny/bebe/craig someone basically joked about there being reduced earring piercings at claire's and they should take kyle because he's the only one without pierced ears and jersey gets really defensive about it and everyone's like ooooh! kyle's scared to get his ears pierced, so the competitive and aggressive side of him that hates to lose briefly outweighs the neurotic side and is like "fuck you!!! let's go right now! i'm not scared of anything!"

and he gets there, stan's with him, and he is...freaking out in the little plastic chair with some eight year old girl next to him ecstatically getting her ears pierced for her birthday, bc he's going to have to let someone...do something to him/inflict something on him.

( which actually, i think, is what is really beautiful about j.k and r.s' relationship and dynamic, is that jersey teaches raven that you can't just let people do things you don't want them to do to you just because you feel like you should ft. his sexual trauma and stan teaches kyle that it is okay to let other people in, to do reckless things, to allow yourself to feel and enjoy simple pleasures w/o fear. ft. his ocd

lmao, is there a branch in my eye again? y is it Watering )

and ravenstan is like, mi amor, they are just your ears, you will be okay, i will hold your hand…

everything will be fine, i swear. :’) <3

and he gets hyped up, ready to go, the 16 y/o piercing his ears tells him she'll count to three and pierce on one.

...and she pierces on Three.

i'm not sure if it's bc she pressed too soon or because she thought that if she surprised him, it might make him less nervous, but it does not!!!! kyle FREAKS out!!!! his ocd goes haywire and basically has a nervous breakdown at freaking /claires/ bc she pierced his ear before she SAID she would and destroys the confidence that he built up to let himself be vulnerable.

it seems like a Silly thing...but i think it says a lot, yknow?

and though it was a serious blow to his ego, kyle only has...one ear pierced because he panicked and could not get the second one done. and it, to this day, is one of the only asymmetrical things abt him. which, i actually think is important to him coping w/ his ocd

( similar to how kyle, sorry slight nsfw, having stan have to ask for things if he wants them, helps him, in a seemingly innocuous way, build confidence in himself/not let things just 'happen' to him without his consent ) because having only one ear pierced means he has to deal with being lopsided and that, everyday the earth doesn't crash into the sun...means that he's okay.

also a cute thing about the one ear piercing is that i think kyle wears like this cute little gold sun dangly one that has a similar ambiance to the sun and moon glasses chain charms? it's his signature.

and other than showering, sleeping, etc. he only really ever takes it out when raven is going off somewhere far away :( and he switches it with a little stan silver earring ( idk kyle feels very gold jewelry bc of his orange hair and stan feels v silver bc of his blue eyes and stuff ) and stan sometimes takes kyle's with him on tour...AAAAA i'm sad

on the subject of rings, since someone else asked me, kyle does not wear rings even though he does like them/they're pretty because they're heavy, they clank against his pen when he's writing, the sound pisses him off...but he wears stan's lil silver emo boy rings when he's away and gaslit himself into liking the sound because the sound it makes against his pen reminds him of the sound it makes when stan is excitedly scribbling song lyrics and singing to him aaaaa IM :(

WHERE WAS I GOING WITH THIS AGAIN?

oh, yeah.

extreme mental illness.

so jersey never makes adjustments or accommodations for anyone, and when he does it's a big deal...but really...

it's because Stan is a big deal to him.

stan is EVERYTHING to him.

and kyle thinks it's cute that at every show and every concert, stan always wears the little spicy k charm on his emo boy choker ( and got the little even spicier inner thigh tattoo w kyle's name on it...anyways )

so, he starts wearing a little s around his neck for stan.

which, initially, i'm sure you're like...oh God.

jersey making an adjustment to his very specific cartoon character outfit alignment of things he wears every day, things he wears at home, things he wears specifically when going out depending on the environment...this sounds like a recipe for disaster. this is a big change for him. he's gonna spin out or short circuit his brain.

but...really? it feels as easy as Breathing.

because for one of the first times in his life, kyle got something that he didn't just get for him, w/ selfish intentions or bc he needs to be in control...he got it...

to make stan happy. :)

and it does make him very, Very happy, indeed.

which is really funny to me because jersey is super annoying and just starts wearing it and pretends like he doesn't know what's going on bc he's bad at ~gestures~. so stan comes home, sees it and immediately is like *big stan eyes* 'what are you wearing??'

and kyle is like, ‘oh, this? i've had it forever, it's was just in the back of the closet. why? is it wrinkled or—‘ and stan is like 'no, dummy. the NECKLACE' and kyle, playing dumb, trying to act nonchalant because he's kind of embarrassed abt having emotions is like 'oh, that. y'know. just something i'm trying out...' and stan is like

'kyle broflovski, are you wearing a necklace with my initial on it????' and kyle is like 'alright, woah there, mr. celebrity. but not eeeeverything is about you, okay? that s could stand for anything.'

and stan is like *genuine heart eyes wowza because kyle is being annoying but stan loves dumb annoying kyle that's why he wears his lil possessive emo boy k charm on his choker everywhere* 'okay, well the k on mine stands for kiss me or kiss me kyle or whatever you want just, come and kiss me please' kshdlkshd <333 eWW

anyways...they're Gay. they're in love. they having matching tattoos and earrings and wear eachother's intials around their neck. nbd.

but...in a very longwinded format, i hope this answers your question baby and hopefully some other questions you have abt jersey. i'm sorry that was a lot but i literally could talk about jersey forever, like he is so fascinating and bc he's our narrator and he's such an unreliable one, it's hard to understand how his brain works.

hope this helps. <3

uncle nina, keeper of the cryptid jersey whore-lore

#okay i am sorry #i know this barely answers your question #but i got a lot of similar questions #and i wanted to answer them in one big ask while i was feeling inspired so here is a bunch of jersey trauma lore #i hope it's fascinating i find it all super fascinating #because he presents like this perfectly in control orderly well maintained militant self-satisfying self gratified thing #but it's just a front for the fact that he's scared of change and is scared of not being in control or making mistakes #like he is put together but a breath away from falling apart #stan teaches him to sit down kyle teaches him to stand up #also sorry kyle having a fascination with edgy boy things and piercings and stuff in particular is kinda spicy to me #i luv him like he really is like that man is a satanic abomination and i want to do terrible horrible depraved things to him #like he really saw raven of crimson dawn and was like oy gevault i have never wanted to cut my lip open on anything #more than on that mans lip ring holy hell oh my god he is so shiny and ripped up and his makeup is so cool #he is a celebrity he has no original thought he doesnt think abt anything thats why he has all those tattoos and piercings #but also y do i want to trace my fingers down them every time i look at him he reveals himself more to me i want to learn more #kinsey scale gay 6 jerseykyle everyone but specifically for dramatic crybaby bisexual punk rock boys w/ piercings #which...i think is incredible bc i do not think people would expect that from kyle...but people also thinks he cannot feel #BUT HIM ADJUSTING HIS WELL REGIMENTED LIFE TO INCOPORATE STAN INTO IT I WANT TO SCREAM #HIM LEARNING TO LET OTHER PEOPLE DO STUFF FOR HIM AND BE OKAY WITH THEM HELPING HIM #I WANT TO START FUCKING SCREAMING I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I LOVE JERSEYS CHAR DEV #ok final thot is he does sometimes do a gold jewelry ring moment or somethin if he's feeling like its important to the look #but they are very insignificant things for aesthetics easily taken off or removed...its the important stuff he has trouble w #and makes it all the more rewarding i think <3 #ily jers #okay last last small thing as far as like getting little piercings and random fun tattoos goes i just think he doesnt want any #boring king ik minus the ocd and stuff he just likes all his stuff to be very a-line and crisp doesnt like massive statements #like my man Is the statement like he has beautiful luxiourous curly red hair and green eyes and his nose a modern art piece #its too busy for him its distracting and u know thats what u have a hot rockstar bf for so u can pretend 2 read ur book #but the plot of the book is tracing ur sbfs sexc hip tattoos and helping him decide what belly button ring hes gonna wear #you know!!! The Plot!!! which kyles eidetic mem comes back but he does get distracted looking at stan a lot help

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helenana666 · 6 months

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#It's getting difficult more and more for me to enjoy Jolysui without being dragged to their stupid shippers #Like okay some of the reasons ppl gives to hate it are silly #But their fans are not helping lmao #'Um actually Jolysui is not a straight ship bc he is gender fluid to me🤓👆'#Good for you but when u try to force your hc so much that you genuinely get mad when other ppl see that character in the Canon way #Is pathetic #Anasui is a cis straight man just wears weird fashion like almost Jojo character is not that deep #Now OK probably Jolyne and Anasui are more probably to be queer code but still they aren't in the way ppl want them to.#Araki just said he DIDN'T have a problem if Anasui was a girl #Wich means he is okay with the idea of Jolyne being queer not that Anasui actually is bc he could just confirmed like he did with Dio or #Scarlet Valentine #But again #Anasui is just a result of new artistic concept he wanted to draw and try #This is not against ppl who hc Anasui as queer etc is against those who gets triggered and mocks other for not seeing the same vision #This isn't either against Jolysui enjoyers is against those morons who can't be on peace without the need to bark at others #Seriously Jolysui shippers would be actually more chill if they you just be like #'Yeah Jolysui could be seen as problematic who cares?'#Instead of making bunch of threats about how it doesn't count as proship #Bc ur probably a coward and ultimately not wanting to be bother with ya know bunch of bad wishes from randoms #helenatalks #I'm sorry I just wanted to express my thoughts lmao I'm Lil annoyed.

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bangcakes · 6 days

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#personal #lmao around this time last year i decided to give up on him n LMAO girl if only you knew #i should have just talked to him but djdjjdjdjd idk it felt weird. but he even like. complained one time that we didnt talk all summer #like LMAO..... bro its two ways. u could have messaged me too xjdjjdjdjdj #tho to be fair i think he did show up to a dinner but i wasnt there bc i had just had wisdom tooth surgery n was 1. blown up like a balloon #and 2. so high on pain meds i couldnt function JFJDJJDJDJDJDJ #n e way whatever jdjdjdjd im just laughing at myself bc how did this man become my closest friend from college Zhfnnddnnd #our relationship is so weird. not in a bad way but in an unexpected way #we sat beside each other an entire semester n never talked til the last day like thats so FUNNY IDK #i even said to him that time. bc we were talkin in the hallway n went to sit for the exam n sat in our regular spots of being one seat awa #y and i was like... you know its so funny that we sat beside each other all semester and only talked today #and he was like.... hahha yeah #i was gonna introduce myself but it felt so stupid JDJJDJDJD #i didnt even know his name LMAO #i had him narrowed down to 2 names. bc he was one of like 2 guys that Always showed up in another class' zoom #and LOL i was right. he WAS one of those 2 shjdjsjsj #n e way. then the next sem came n i didnt know whether to say hi to him or not bc we talked ONCE #and i was still wearing my mask at this point and so id try to smile at him with my eyes but never got a response HDNJDJD and so i got soooo #annoyed with him. and even more so bc i kept making friends with ppl and they KNEW HIM??? and i was like WHO IS THIS????#then one time he came up to me n my friends before class n we just talked and i was like o lmao this annoyance im having??? its a big ole #crush BDNNDNDND #and in community college its hard to like. know ppls ages and that day i found out he was 2 years younger so i was like o ok 26 n 28 isnt #bad at all #but thinking back.... first things we exchanged that time was age and i think he was also trying to fish for whether i was single bc he was #talkin about this other guy havin a baby n a wife n i was like o wow !! i didnt know!!#jdjxjdjdjdk god when he found out my age he was like... oh i never would have guessed you were older. you look young ZFHJDJDJDJDJD #oh so you were Looking is that right HJXJXJXJZJZJ GOD LMAO #i look back on so many moments n im like oh duh... he must be interested #but for me its like. i will literally more easily believe literally any other theory so i thought he just liked one of my friends Zhjxjx #ya i dont think so anymorem but i thought that up until like mid january HDHXJJXJDDJJDJ

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leatherbookmark · 8 months

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oh god okay i understand that maybe not everyone is as indecisive/comfortable with saying "it depends!" as me, but like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i just can't take people who call izzy a villain seriously

#he's a little annoying dude. i swear to fuck #'the real villain in the show is the system and izzy is siding with the system' babygirl he's a pirate 😭 he really isn't 😭#he could NOT more clearly be -- he literally IS -- that kind of gay man who wears his leathers and anger as an armor because being scary ha #been his way of fighting The System => being consumed and destroyed by it; and who looks down and feels disgusted by flamboyant #and effeminate soft-handed gays because if they're this soft then they clearly haven't experienced this kind of abuse that would make them #harden up. ....you know what i mean.#like idk this show in general like... doesn't have a 'villain'? it's about stede (and ed's) journey and their development. not necessarily #about their Conflict With Someone/Something. i guess it might change in s2 but idk. there are just Situations in which they find themselves #and because of/md is a comedy no one really... holds things against other characters in a long-term way? izzy stabs stede and sells him #out to the english and ed punches him for the latter (which he says 'ok fair' about!!! like!!!) but does he go 'and for all the shit you've #done i'm Firing you as my first mate? no! he slams him against the wall and feeds him his toe but he's like. ok get up and back to work #and he doesn't seem particularly disgusted or upset with him in that final blackbeard's flag 2.0 moment. (nor manipulated; inb4)#like. it's a workplace romcom. the workplace is a pirate ship but it's a workplace and izzy is that annoying coworker who's a bitch and #often ruins everyone's fun but no one like... Seriously ostracizes him. more like applies some light bullying BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY.#COMEDY. do we remember that?#and like. it seems he's going to have a bit of a larger (?) role in s2... it really doesn't seem like the show sees him as a 'villain' or #even an active 'antagonist' either. like ok let's agree 2 disagree and may both sides block each others' asses into oblivion because god #knows both sides have some annoying people but mannnn sometimes... insisting that things Can be divided into Good and Bad... is worse?#shrimp thoughts #once again i wrote a tag novel about an incredibly silly thing. welcome to leatherbookmark

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ironhusband · 1 year

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Thinking about Erik snapping at Charles with “well maybe you should have fought harder for them” and the pain in his eyes when Charles told him they didn’t want the same things.

#cherik #going insane Erik sitting in that awful cell thinking that Charles will never rescue him but he’ll still know Erik didn’t do this #and him learning Charles thinks he’s a murderer a monster - the one person who had never thought that of him besides his parents - and that #Charles thinks he did do it and he hates everything so much because if Charles gave up hope on him if even Charles is unwilling to fight for #him anymore maybe he truly is a monster and killing raven for the future is just a who he is #thinking of how much it would break Erik of Charles called him a monster to his face #‘you abandoned us all’ but what he means is you abandoned me! you sent me away and you let me rot in prison and you gave up on me #anyways!!! the way Erik wanted Charles to fight for one thing and that was him and he didn’t!! he just gave up and sent him away #listen ok I know Erik left him bleeding on a beach with no way of getting out of there but man I will always be side Erik in the divorce #look at the day the man had!!! he’s paralyzed by fear when confronting his abuser and then Charles tells him to not kill him even tho Erik-#needed it to feel safe like watch the scene watch it!!! and then he’s facing genocide again and this time he can lift the coin and save his #people. then Charles gets shot and he blames ERIK and then he breaks up with Erik like ok I know he’s wounded and all but the fact the #fandom is like ‘oh Charles didn’t mean for them to go he was shot and mad Erik should know better’#but we’re not like ‘oh Erik faced his childhood abuser and then relived something very similar to his trauma #got blamed for his lover’s injury (and like he doesn’t blame himself for him mom too) and then broken up with. he went through so much #lasting emotional trauma in the span of less than one hour how can he know better’#and there’s like a good explanation for why Charles would still blame him like Erik was wearing the helmet he couldn’t have picked up on all #that depth without one of the senses he relies on. but the fandom being like Erik is the bad person in this instance #it seems unfair. also it screams I’m a gentile honestly.#also you can’t tell me part of Erik wasn’t like ‘maybe he’d be better off without me’ when he left the beach #x men #Charles Xavier #erik lehnsherr #ramble rumble #now just don’t think of ‘let him come’ being Erik hoping Charles will finally fight for him and say they should have been together #and instead Charles throws more unfair (well about raven) blame in his face

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lolli-says-stuff · 2 months

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Sooooo this fic awakened something in me.

#older boyfriend gets mistaken for the father trope #Holy shit #it’s hot #so hot #why is that hot #that’s so weird #I need to stop developing new kinks #seriously #now I want a hot DILF boyfriend with reading glasses and a greying beard and a dad bod and orthopaedic shoes #ok not the orthopaedic shoes. I mean don’t judge if you need them that’s cool. our cook wears them #but it’s not a turn on #reading glasses are though #for me at least #maybe someone has an orthopedivvshoe kink out there but that someone is not me #maybe it’s the cooks wife who knows #I would probably know that man shares entirely too much #but it’s endearing #oh god o n

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fluffypotatey · 2 years

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OMG, so Soft™, Merlin bby, ofc they like you.

I put my vote in for Roland being Merlin's unofficial squire, bc A) just as Extra as Merlin, and B) gets many more excuses to Stab. Like, "Yes, sir, I'll stay right back here while you fight sorcerous assassin du jour and if your magic doesn't work, this dagger will."

A child learning morals from the morally dubious would be A+ content.

Merlin: Agravaine is the traitor, I'm certain of it.

Roland, immediately: I can put a viper in his sheets.

Merlin: ........as much as it pains me to say, please do not do that.

Roland: Well, okay, but if you ever change your mind, I can get one in, like, an hour.

Merlin: *deep inhale*

Also, I don't know why, but I'm picturing Roland as a girl. Like, maybe she heard about Morgause challenging Arthur or even saw the duel happen herself and was like, "Huh," and when Arthur does away with the 'nobility only' rule, she's like "Huh," and immediately goes for it. But girls still can't apply for knighthood (yet, bc gotta take baby steps with social change like that) so maybe Roland is her family name or a brother/cousin, and she just lops her hair off, steals some trousers, and falls in with the lads. She's young enough when she joins that she can pass for a boy. When they get a little older, well, by then her bros have all twigged but also know she can and will kick their asses, so they just make sure she gets tunics that are always a little too big. Bonus if legit nobody else notices this, including Merlin, and the only person who does know is Gwen, and she ain't saying a damn thing. Double Bonus if the first person to notice is Arthur, and the Squires immediately and without hesitation straight up lie to the fucking KING.

Arthur: *squinty eyes*

Arthur: Is.....is Roland......a girl?

SotRT: What? No, of course not, sire, don't let him hear you say that, you'll hurt his feelings.

Arthur: ........uh-huh.

Cue Gwen cracking tf up in the background like, "JFC, I married the biggest himbo in the Five Kingdoms, Arthur, you're lucky you're pretty."

(Also, here are my tokens of returned affection in courtship: 🌹🌸🌼🌺💐💍👑💎)

same gwen lmao

*slams hand on table* ROLAND IS ONE OF CAMELOT'S BEST SQUIRES AND YES SHE WAS INSPIRED BY MORGAUSE

she didn't really ask merlin if she could be his squire. she just started hanging around him, helping him with chores, being his lookout until a couple knights asked and she said: "uh duh, i've been his squire for three months now" "your my WHAT?!"

roland had and will cut a bitch if they threaten merlin. oh, you're glaring menacingly at the king's manservant? roland is breathing inside your walls, have fun sleeping bitch. you told merlin to count his days?? count your seconds, bitch, roland is behind you, axe poised and ready to strike--

all of agravaine's inconveniences, that's roland. ok sure, merlin said no to the snakes, but he never said no to rats! he didn't say yes either but why would you question the method to the madness? his saddle never fits right. his food is always cold. his clothes are always dirty. agravaine knows something is up, but none of his spies are able to find out who is causing all of this???

the other squires help her plan the pranks and very illegal tampering with noble goods, but he called merlin "nothing more than a chair for the king" and they are out for blood.

agravaine complains to arthur about how unruly the squires are but arthur cannot believe it. because that meant that his knights couldn't handle them, but they could and that's a slight on his men which he cannot forgive. it's one of the only things agravaine couldn't trick arthur into believing. roland later soaked agravaine's sheets with spoiled mead, serves him right!

#*gasp!* beloved anon do not feel the need to gift me things in this courtly love of ours tis my part to play #truly i appreciate your tokens and will wear them with pride the next tournament don't you fear #i tap anon's shoulder causing them to look right but it was a trick & so i smooch their left cheek & run away giggling like a lovesick fool #obviously none of the squires prank her majesty #they'd never dare because she is notorious for being the best prankster ever (elyan and leon have the stories)#ok ok so baseline we have roland who was once squire to elyan and later switched to merlin #lucan i'm on the fence with him being squire to percival or leon #nathan is squired to elyan #bors is squired to lancelot #galahad is squired to lancelot #bedivere is squired to gwaine (he now knows the taste of illegality and craves more)#dagonet is squired to leon (and would TOTALLY kick nathan's ass if he were a man with less self control but he's gentleman so nate lives)#fierefitz is squired to percival and lucan TOTALLY isn't jealous or anything definitely #squires of the round table #knights of the round table #bbc merlin #headcanons

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krynutsreal · 1 year

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Can't believe Mondo out gay-ed Taka

congrats to Mondo Owada for out-gaying taka for abouuuut [looks at the video length] 6 seconds

👍

#mondo owada #kiyotaka ishimaru #i mean. taka literally has a reference to the devil wears prada so idk man. how long do you think mondo could out gay him . what even is #out gaying. would they make it into some dumb competition like they did with the sauna contest except theyre jsut . acting [quotation marks #] gayer than the other? who knows. i am ultimately braindumping onto you anon i apologize #would this lead to some realization that hey wait. maybe this isnt just a bro thing. hey wait a minute #ok thats it sorry thsi is all a joke #krambles #ask

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crossbackpoke-check · 1 year

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most boys could be improved with a little nail polish bit thomas bordeleau especially. like what is not clicking for him that he hasn’t done it already my god

EX 👏 ACT 👏 LY you understand. i saw this post one time and simply never looked back so without further ado here are the top ten nail polishes, in no particular order, that i think thomas bordeleau should try:

1. sally hanson xtreme wear in 140 rockstar pink

we’re starting with this one because i previously mentioned it in another post, and, while i think thom gives the vibes of a single color natural nail mani, i like this one because it’s one polish that’s multicolor—dark pink glitter with a little bit of blue to call in the sjs and the baby blue suit he was wearing. also, glitter nail polishes will last you FOREVER

2. chanel le vernis in 339 cassis

also have to start out by including my closest approximation to the nail polish in the photo that started this all. i love the sheerness of this polish, which means it can be more unobtrusive and a little blink-and-you’ll-miss-it barely-there detail or more prominent with more layers

3. gucci glossy in 715 winterset snow

personally i don’t often go for a white nail but i think borde would like something very crisp and clean (white does look nice on him). however, i think his white and/or cream needs to be a little cooler and not as much on the yellow side, which made finding this polish difficult but like. what else was i doing today (so many things)

4. les mains hermès in 85 rouge h

we have solid evidence that borde loooves a good maroon moment and i did specifically pick hermès (no idea why. fancy? would appeal to him?). love the cooler tones in this red for him and i heavily debated giving him this really deep rich purple (violet byzantin) of the same style of polish but we can work up to wearing that one

5. cirque colors x live. love. polish in puttin’ on the ritz

while i know the first color on here is literally a fine glitter, To Me thomas bordeleau is a chunky glitter gorl. it’s got artsy details, a bunch of different types of glitter, it’s iridescent, it can be layered, i’m in love with it. it will match any outfit thom i promise

6. maniology in b333 gold rush

imho i would wear more silver jewelry to compliment the cool tones he likes to wear BUT. borde almost always sports gold (honestly not bad wrt bringing out the california tan, it doesn’t wash him out) so i am giving him a boring, but very specific metallic not-too-yellow-or-light-or sparkly gold nail color. sorry. just paint one nail and use it like an accent or for french tips for spice, idk bud you’re the hand model here and i am simply an incredibly picky art director

7. àuda.b in my cactus

i love how vibrant this green is, i love the finish on it, i think we could convince thom to branch out into more jewel tones and pastels. also yes i picked this to match his houseplants

8. nails.inc caught in the nude in hawaii beach & boy de chanel in 404 black

i have a lot of shiny and glittery finishes on this list and i reeeeally wanted to throw in a matte finish so. this is a two for one because i couldn’t find a matte version of this chocolate brown that i really liked for him but also i’m giving him a special matte black polish because to me these are both neutrals

9. mooncat in millennia

this one just looks dope. i feel like he would like the chrome effect to it? it is more high effort because it’s a magnetic polish, but also given that he loves juicewrld now i think i could swing this one on that basis alone (it’s the same colors as legends never die).

10. zoya in zp797 cecilia

how could i make this list and not include a pacific teal nail polish for the san jose sharks 🦈 this also would be stunning as a pop of color to accent his grey game day suits just saying

ok if you made it to the end of this i love you ✨ thank you for coming to my ill-advised impromptu ted talk @ thom please paint ur nails and also confirm or deny whether you have pierced your ears thank you

#please take all opinions with a grain of salt #at the point where i am simply Inventing a man thomas bordeleau is not real i made him up #nail polish is soooo gender to me sometimes #i have spoken at length but i forever will say that thom = chipped mani natural nails #like the worst part of this is that i could actually see him painting his nails for a look & i want it so baddd #also you don’t escape having a little sister without having your nails painted at least once in your life like thom please what don’t u get #@ thomas bordeleau paint your nails 💅#thomas bordeleau my worstie my hatred spirit my incorrigible terrible meow meow #liv in the replies #me haggard finally reaching the tags again after Quite Some Time like ah. fun! what was i saying at first in these?#if i were like. normal this post would not have taken me over three hours to write because i had stupid specific Visions of nail polish #i am sooooo picky so so sooooo picky akdjskndkahdi thom please take my recs i think they would look nice on you also i like them #ok also i mentioned the juice wrld thing and i’m not getting into it now but 😶 the indescribable faces i just made #also i know i made a little nail thing for trevor of nails i think he would wear but i need to find the tags so i can sort them together lol #baby blue shades ��🐬🫧💎🛼#please amend my prior tags to four and a half hours and everyone pray for my sleep schedule because. she f**ked

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