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iikatsukii · 1 year

Text

3:15 (breathe)

synopsis: story inspired by the song 3:15 by russ

pairings: lo’ak x metkayina!reader

warnings: angst to comfort & minor violence

word count: 6.6k

a/n: ive been writing this for too long but im back with a present 🫶🏾 (also i know this one isnt shortened by a read more thing im sorry guys i tried idk why its not working but hopefully when i get my laptop charger back ill be able to fix it but pls just bare with me just this once)

you had been staring at the roof of your marui for about 20 minutes now. you were dreading getting up. you've felt like this for the past few months but couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started. being the youngest daughter of tonowari and ronal is like asking every boy in the clan to court you. when you chose rotxo, all the boys in the clan were heartbroken. you and tsireya found it kinda funny, to be honest.

you and rotxo have been dating for about half a year now. everything leading up to the relationship had been amazing. the fleeting glances, soft touches, the surprise dates. he had courted you perfectly, so he was over the moon when you finally said yes. his loving actions continued three months into the relationship. then suddenly, you started to notice a shift in his behaviors.

he wouldn't surprise you with dates anymore, he only hung out with ao'nung and his friends, he wouldn't make time for you, and when you did ask to spend time with him, he would brush you off, saying he was busy.

of course, your siblings didn't know about this. rotxo told you not to tell them. "i mean, what would ao'nung think of me? he would never want to be friends with me again," he told you. you sighed, "you're right, rotxo. i'm sorry. i won't say anything." rotxo pulled you into a hug, holding your head to his chest so you couldn't see the smirk he held on his face. on the other hand, you held an expression of self-doubt. like you knew the choice to not speak up was dumb, and you wished you could take your words back, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

so you remained in rotxo's arms day after day, putting on a show that everyone believed. never saying anything to anyone. never saying anything about all the harsh words rotxo would say to you, about the loneliness you felt, or about the scars he left on your heart.

tsireya, your twin sister, suspected something was off about your relationship because of how differently you had been acting recently. ever since rotxo started treating you poorly, tsireya would hear you cry yourself to sleep every night. still, when she confronted you about it, you would brush her off, saying she was probably hearing things from how tired she had been. and the thing is, nobody else seems to hear it, so it's not like tsireya can have someone to back her up.

you finally gathered the energy to get up, 2 hours later than you were supposed to, and you groaned, knowing your father was going to kill you. you quickly get dressed, rushing to find someone, anyone who can tell you where your father is. finally, you see a huge crowd, what looks like the entire clan, gathered at the shores of the beaches.

"uturu has been asked.." you heard faintly. as you made your way to the front of the crowd, where you heard your father's voice, you caught the tail end of the conversation. "toruk makto and his family will live among us. my children will teach your children the ways of the water so that your family does not suffer the burden of being useless." you hid behind your father. as he spoke, you looked over to who he was talking to.

a group of 6 darker-toned na'vi were standing huddled together. 2 parents and 4 children. you analyzed each child, still hiding behind your father. the smallest, youngest na'vi was holding her mother's hand, hiding behind her leg, similar to how you're hiding behind your father. the older female, who looked about your age, had an annoyed look on her face. you giggled at her expression, being able to tell that she wanted to be anywhere but here.

then you looked at the taller, assumingly older brother. he looked tight-laced, like he was the perfect child. a golden boy, if you would. not really your type but eh, who are you to say anything. you have a boyfriend, for crying out loud. you shouldn't even be thinking things like this in the first place. you rolled your eyes, ignoring the annoying thoughts in your head, as you looked at the other boy standing next to the eldest son.

that's when you noticed the eyes that were staring back at you. they were the prettiest amber color you've ever seen, accented by… is that hair above his eyes? his eyes glowed in the sun, and his markings? don't even start; his markings running along his body were mesmerizing. but the one thing that interested you was the look he held in his eyes. nobody had ever looked at you like that, and of course, that makes it harder to pinpoint precisely what makes you feel this way. while you were entranced in the visitor's eyes, you failed to notice your own boyfriend noticing you. once the clan's people started to disperse, your sister grabbed your hand and dragged you over to the new family.

rotxo was going to approach you, but he was stopped by ao'nung, who nodded his head back to the water, where they would later meet you, tsireya, and those 'freaks' for lessons. ao'nung missed the furious expression his best friend held. rotxo was quick to fix his face, though, playing nice. he saw the looks between you and that forest boy, and he was not happy about it. he decided to observe from afar before confronting you about anything, not wanting youîu to know that he noticed anything.

as you and tsireya approached the family, you got to take a closer look at the boy before you. your thoughts, though, were interrupted by your twin, "let us show you to your new home," as she and you guided the new family to their home, you could tell their father was trying to stay positive, but the way their mother dropped her belongings when she saw where they would be living was comedic to you. you couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction, not maliciously, of course. you're not like your brother ao'nung and boyfriend rotxo.

"sister, i was late to the gathering. i have no idea who these people are or what's happening." you whispered to your twin. "oh right! where were you, by the way? i had to go through ilu training with the boys alone! it was horrible." she groaned. you sighed. yeah, you're definitely gonna get your ass beat when you get home. "father didn't happen to notice, did he?" you said, already knowing the answer. tsireya just laughed "skxawng." she said, hitting your shoulder. "hey!" you said defensively, ready to hit her back until a hand caught yours. you turned around to see one of the new na'vi boys. it was the younger one.

"as amusing it is to see two sisters-" he started

"twins," you and tsireya corrected at the same time. it freaked both boys out, but they thought it was cute in a way.

"as amusing as it is to see twins bickering with one another, i believe a lesson is in our near future? per request of your father, that is." the tone he used was teasing. how could he speak to you with such confidence when he didn't even know your name? rotxo had never spoken to you like that. his words were always soft, almost shy as if he didn't want to scare you with how loud you knew he could be. for some reason, though, it made you like rotxo more.

but with how things have been going well recently, rotxo isn't that soft-spoken boy anymore. hell, he barely acts like your boyfriend now. so maybe it won't be wrong to get to know someone new? only as a friend, though. you would never dream of cheating, let alone act on it.

you looked down to see that the younger brother, whose name you still had yet to find out, was still holding onto your wrist, waiting for an answer.

oh shit, he's waiting on an answer.

you had zoned out, daydreaming about the boy who was gazing at you equally as curious. thankfully you guys had an energetic little girl to catch your attention. "LAST ONE TO THE WATER IS THANATOR BAIT," she said as she jumped into the water.

you and your sister giggled at the young girl's actions, deciding to jump right in after her. the remaining na'vi jumped in as well as you and tsireya swam, guiding them to where you would have this supposed lesson. as you and your twin swam, she explained everything that had happened while you were sleeping using your clan's sign language. it was making more sense now. this family fled their home, seeking a safe place to stay… uturu…

as you had gotten to the rocks by the beach, you noticed that your brother was there, which could only mean one thing. rotxo was here, too, great. you didn't really feel like pretending to be happy with him around people right now, but you slapped on your usual fake smile, praying to eywa that these newcomers were as easy to fool as everyone else on this island.

you had begun your lessons as usual, you and tsireya being paired up with the youngest son as he was having the most difficulty.

"breathe in. breathe from down here," tsireya said as she placed her hand on lo'ak's stomach. you placed your hand on his heart to check its speed as you continued, "breathe out." you sighed again. "lo'ak, your heartbeat is fast," you said, looking up at him, happy that you had learned his name because now you could address him by his name.

"sorry," he said,

"try to focus," tsireya added, his eyes meeting hers as she spoke. you noticed that when his eyes shifted, his expression remained the same bright, curious look he gave you; he also held with your sister.

maybe that's just how he looks at people, you thought as you continued to help him.

you felt eyes on your back, knowing it was rotxo staring at you. you looked over your shoulder and made eye contact with your boyfriend, smiling and waving at him, getting nothing but a stone-cold look in return. nobody seemed to notice, so the embarrassment was yours alone. or so you thought until you turned back to lo'ak, seeing as he had seen the whole interaction between the two of you. nobody had ever noticed something like this happen. you tried to read the forest boy's expression but couldn't. all you knew was that he didn't have that same bright look in his eyes as he looked at rotxo.

so maybe he doesn't look at everyone like that…

the exchange sent a shiver up your back. you had a feeling nothing good would come of these two interacting, but over the months, rotxo had diminished your self-confidence, finding yourself seriously doubting your judgment. so you ignored the feeling, not thinking it would be worth risking the normalcy in your daily life.

with lessons finally ending, you excused yourself from the rest as you walked back to your marui, knowing that your parents were about to beat your ass. you walked into your home with your ears flat against your head, tail between your legs, and head hung in shame.

"y/n te ronal'ite," your mother sneered.

oh yeah. you're fucked.

"father, mother, i am sorry i do not know why i overslept this morning–"

"this is the fifth time this has happened, child. you do not know why you have overslept five times this month?" your mothers' words were harsh; you knew she was very upset with you because of how you had been acting recently. you also knew she didn't like your relationship with rotxo, no matter how nice she thought the boy was. to her, something was just off, she could hear eywa whispering to her about it at night, but when she awoke in the morning, it became nothing but a second thought as all her tsahik duties became a priority as she started her day.

"mother, i am sorry. i do not know why this is happening, but i promise it won't happen again," you said, falling to your knees and begging your parents for forgiveness. you hated when they were upset with you, from when you were a kid until now—especially your father.

you were a daddy's girl; you couldn't help it. your father was your safe haven, and you hated when he was disappointed in you even more than you hated when your mother was mad at you. so when you looked into his eyes and saw concern and not disappointment, you knew something was wrong.

"ma y/n, what is the matter? ite, if something is wrong, you know you can tell me." your father tried.

this was the one thing you couldn't confide in your father for. usually, you have little to no trouble telling your father what's wrong, but this was different. you couldn't bring yourself to tell him. so you just looked up at your father, tears in your eyes, and said

"nothing is wrong, father. i have no excuse for waking up late, so please issue my punishment. i have to finish my chores for the day," hearing your voice so cold sent a shiver up your parents' backs. that was what made them realize there really is something wrong. no matter how much you deny it, they can finally see past the facade that you've been keeping up.

how have they never noticed? how long has this been going on?

ronal looked at her husband, silently asking him for help. for once, the tsahik didn't know what to do. as attuned to eywa as she was, the great mother can't outright tell her what is wrong or how to solve it, thus leaving ronal feeling hopeless.

useless.

a tsahik who can't even help her own child. what good is she?

tonowari cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.

"two weeks, ilu keeper. you are to bring and return the villager's ilus as well as headcount the north, south, east, and west pens before the eclipse to ensure all ilus are accounted for. you are dismissed," your father's tone was equally as cold as yours. you knew the game he was playing, and you wouldn't fall for it this time. you knew your father was just trying to reciprocate the attitude you were giving him so you would crack. so you quickly left your home, knowing that if you stayed any longer, you would burst into tears and beg your father to hold you in his arms.

your depression had continued for months after the day of the sullys arrival. things with rotxo had only gotten worse, and to you, it seemed like nobody was noticing your depleting health. but in reality, everyone knew you were sad, but nobody knew why.

except for one person

you were so grateful for lo'ak. he was the only person who noticed. he saw everything and sat you down, saying you couldn't endure this abusive relationship anymore. he saw all the scowls and rolled eyes your boyfriend sent your way when you were looking and when you weren't looking. he also saw stuff that you hadn't seen. like rotxo entertaining different girls throughout the village. all of those girls being the ones who you said were your very good friends, but more specifically, it was your best friend.

you and your sully boy were walking along the shore, deciding to go for a walk after he had returned from his daily chores. the walk was silent, but you noticed the furrowed eyebrows above lo'ak's eyes, indicating that he was thinking.

"if you think too hard, you may end up hurting yourself, forest boy," you teased, giggling at his reaction. the boy had rolled his eyes, relieving his eyebrow of their stress as he nudged your side with his elbow. "hey, watch it," he said, laughing along with you.

then he got serious again, you noticed the stress return to his eyebrows, and you couldn't help but stop walking, concerned for your friend.

"lo'ak, what is the matter?" you asked, voice quiet, almost a whisper. lo'ak had barely heard it over the sounds of the tide washing up against the shore. he was silent for a while, debating on if this was his place to say anything, but the boy was worried for you so he spoke up.

"as your friend, y/n, i cannot allow you to continue to be in this relationship." his words were firm. you knew this was coming, and you were hoping you could avoid it, but in the end, it seemed inevitable. you sighed, exhausted, dropping your facade.

"lo'ak, please. don't say anything to anyone. i am fine, okay? rotxo is just busy, is all–"

"yeah, busy suckin' face with your so-called friends, y/n," lo'ak huffed, tired of seeing you endure this treatment. you perked up at his words, though. what was he talking about?

"what do you mean?" you said as you stepped closer, wanting to look deeper into his eyes to ensure he wasn't lying.

"your boy has been cheating on you with all the girls you call your 'friends', especially your best friend. whenever he says he's busy with ao'nung and the guys, neteyam tells me he sneaks off halfway through. and i've personally caught him with so many girls y/n. he's been cheating on you." the words echo in your head.

cheating?

with your friends?

your boyfriend…

your boyfriend.

a new feeling had blossomed in your chest. it felt like a raging fire in your chest, out of control and blazing with heat. oh, you were pissed. so lo'ak hatched a plan for you.

"take this," he said as he reached up to his neck, taking off his communicator and giving it to you. "wear it tomorrow. and right before eclipse, i want you to go to the west ilu pen. but be quiet when you get there. that's usually where rotxo meets your best friend." the words squeezed at your heart, but the fury in your chest overpowered it all.

"fine," you said as your eyes met his once again. you moved your hair behind over your left shoulder as you turned around, signaling for him to put the communicator on for you.

once it was secure, you turned to face him again, knowing that this would be the last moment of peace you would have until the storm you had been so severely trying to avoid.

"thank you," was the last thing you said to the forest boy before you made your way home. knowing the next day would be one of the worst days of your life.

it was a few minutes til eclipse, and you were waiting in a hidden spot near the west ilu pen just like lo'ak had told you. you had been waiting here for 15 minutes, and neither rotxo nor your best friend had shown up. did lo'ak lie? what reason would he have to lie? it's not like he likes you. lo'ak always uses phrases like "as your friend…" and "friends don't treat friends like that," insinuating that he, too, thought of you as a friend and nothing more, so what reason would he have to lie. you were about to radio him, pressing the button on your neck, because you were getting annoyed waiting here for so long. but then you heard a familiar laugh.

that's your best friend's laugh.

you turned around, peeking through leaves to see rotxo and your best friend holding hands, laughing with one another. keeping your hand against your communicator, you tried to get as close as possible without revealing your hiding spot so that lo'ak could hear everything happening.

"are you sure this is okay, rotxo? what about y/n? you know she's my best friend." your best friends laughter had died down as the two came to a halt.

"ma yawne, you need not worry." your boyfriend reassured.

"but what about her? you guys are in a relationship, and she is olo'eyktans daughter. if we get caught, we're done for. plus, she's been looking so sad recently. i can't help but feel like she knows." tears sprung to her eyes and you couldn't help but roll your own.

"mawey, my love. she does not know. besides, she has been ignoring me recently. i've been left alone, wondering if she's okay. i ask her every day to talk to me and tell me something; i reassure her that i'm here for her and that she can talk to me about anything. she brushes me off, not even giving me the time of day. it is like she has completely shut me out. i feel so left in the dark," your best friend just coos at the boy, pulling into a hug in an attempt to 'hug' him when she really is just trying to push her boobs against his chest. his hand placement wasn't any better. he had his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to himself if even possible.

OH, BOO FUCKING HOO, IS HE FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??

it was taking every molecule of self-restraint in your body not to blow your cover and strangle the man you call your "boyfriend." upon hearing his words, you could only scoff. this is what he's been doing? while he's been ignoring you, leaving you lonely and hurting, he's been out in the village, cheating on you and playing victim, making everyone think you were ignoring him.

you could only roll your eyes as you walked away before you were discovered. you were furious. you knew exactly how you wanted to approach this, thinking based only on your heated emotions, throwing all rational away. as you walked away, your hand fell from the collar around your neck, knowing lo'ak had heard enough. he was probably on the way to your parents' marui right now to tell them everything.

you walked to rotxo's family marui; glad to see the rest of his family is still out doing whatever they do. you could care less. he and anyone related to him could perish, poof into thin air, never to be seen again, and you wouldn't bat an eye. in fact, just the idea of it brings a smile to your face. a smile that instantly dropped when the flap of the marui was pushed aside, revealing your boyfriend and your brother.

"ao'nung, leave. i need to talk to rotxo," you said as soon as you made eye contact with your older brother. you knew he was clueless about what had happened because he was hanging out with his friends all day. supposedly, so was rotxo.

"sorry little sister, but you're going to have to leave. rotxo and i are–"

"AO' GET THE FUCK OUT!" you screamed at your brother, eyes falling to the floor, knowing he wasn't the target of rage, so you probably shouldn't be treating him like this.

your brother was surprised you raised your voice at him but listened anyway, knowing that this wasn't his problem and he honestly didn't care about your relationship as long as rotxo treated you right. and to his knowledge, his best friend is treating you right. rotxo, you told your brother that it was you shutting him out, so ao'nung just assumed this would be another one of those 'irrational arguments' that rotxo always tells him about.

watching your brothers back retreating toward your home, you turned your attention to the man of the fucking hour.

"my best friend? are you serious right now, rotxo?" you asked him to get straight to the point.

rotxo rolled his eyes, groaning because he realized you knew he was cheating on you.

"y/n, don't be like this. my family will be home any minute–" you cut him off.

"i do not care. you are walking around telling people i shut you out? cheating on me? you are out here forcing me to put on a smile, fake happy, so your reputation doesn't get ruined, and you have the nerve to try and bring mine down with you? saying i'm leaving you in the dark. making yourself seem like the goddamn victim?! you're cheating on me, rotxo. FOR FUCKS SAKE." the english word that the sully children had taught you felt like the only word that could adequately convey your feelings.

"using the words that sully boy taught you, huh? you know you've been spending a lot of time with him. you're lucky the only rumor i spread was that you left me in the dark. be grateful that i'm not telling everyone how you've been spreading your legs for that freak." you gaped at his words. how did he know about how much you've been spending with lo'ak? of course, he's completely wrong about what you guys do but he's always busy with his friends, blowing you off, cheating, and not caring who you're with or what you're doing. regardless of how he knew or not, you and lo'ak were friends, and that's it.

"we are just friends. i would not even have to hang out with him if my own shitty boyfriend actually acted as if he fucking likes me. we hang out as all young na'vi do, free diving, ilu racing, sea shell collecting. things i've done with you, my siblings, and countless other friends, like the bitch you are cheating on me with, so why is it a problem when i do it with lo'ak? hmm, rotxo? what's your fucking problem? are you projecting? is that it?" you were blinded by your rage, not even realizing that you had approached your boyfriend, but it felt like your words weren't getting through to him. he still held this shitty condescending smirk on his face, and you were sick of it. so you pushed him with all the strength you had in your body. rotxo fell to the floor pretty hard, groaning in pain as he landed funny on his wrist.

"ah! ha–" rotxo graoned in pain as he gripped his wrist. his gaze met yours as he spoke again "look, she's finally snapped. what? are you going to go, run to your little demon blood? are you going to let him cheer you up like the little slut you are? might as well prepare yourself for tomorrow because when ao'nung asks me what we argued about, i'm telling him i found out you were cheating on me with that sully boy," rotxo stood from his place on the floor, holding a look you had never seen on him before. he walked towards you menacingly as you matched his pace, walking backward until your back made contact with the wall of his home. his hand came up to your neck, squeezing, not noticing that he had once again pressed the button on your collar so lo'ak could hear everything.

“y/n? what's wrong? what's going on?" you heard his voice in your earpiece but kept quiet, not wanting rotxo to know he was about to get caught.

"you're so easy, huh? playing hard to get for everyone in the village when really you just wanted to be a whore for a half-breed freak who has only brought problems and war to our home–" you pushed him off of you, running out his marui with your head down, not wanting him to see your tears as if he hadn't already.

as cruel as rotxo had been to you, he had never called you such degrading names like this.

as angry as you were, hearing someone you once loved say things like that to you felt like a bullet to the heart.

you ran to a hidden oasis within the forest line of awa'atlu. only you and rotxo knew of it, but recently you've found yourself coming here alone much more than you would come here with him.

falling to your knees in front of the river before you, you allowed the dam to break, letting all your pent-up emotions out. you couldn't help but cry to yourself. you hated life like this. you hated living a lie, not wanting to bare this pain anymore. you cried, sobbed, screamed, wailed, anything to get this hurt out of your heart.

rotxo had broken you. he had taken your pure, innocent heart and smashed it to pieces. no matter how much you tried to love and care for him, you realize he would never really love you. it was all just a ploy to get in with the olo'eyktan's daughter. he was just like every other stupid boy on this island. but you fell for him, and you hated the feeling.

and for him to cheat with your best friend, of all people? how could he? did he even love you?

to say lo'ak was worried was the understatement of the fucking year. he was basically having a panic attack rampaging the island after he didn't find you in rotxo's marui when they arrived. lo'ak had come with his family and yours, everyone having heard the cruel words that rotxo had spat at you thanks to lo'aks communication device.

jake and neteyam personally held lo'ak back from killing the metkayina in front of him.

"YOU FUCKER! YOU CALL HER A WHORE WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE STICKING YOUR DICK IN ANYTHING THAT HAS A FUCKING HOLE, YOU PUSSY–"

"lo'ak, that's enough," jake said, trying to restrain his youngest son.

"NO, HE'S RIGHT! DAD, LET ME GO! LET ME BEAT HIS ASS!" lo'ak looked over to see tonowari and another warrior holding ao'nung back, but the look on tonowari's face showed that he was seconds from ripping rotxo limb from limb for what he had said to his daughter.

that's when lo'ak noticed you weren't in the marui. pulling himself from his father and brother's restraints, he ran out, immediately going to all your favorite places on the island, trying to find you.

he searched the shallow reefs on the east side of the island. he visited the ilu pen on the south part of the island because that's where you kept your ilu. he checked the floral shoreline on the northwest part of the island, knowing that you loved getting all your flowers from there, whether it was for your hair, a top, or a gift for the new boy on the island.

lo'ak noticed a forest line near the floral shores, so he also decided to check within that area in case you were wandering around there.

walking through the forest area kind of reminded lo'ak of home. he had been reminiscing on the flora of his home when he heard what sounded like crying—very loud crying.

immediately arming himself, prepared to protect himself or someone else. lo'ak stepped into the clearing, seeing you kneeling over the stream, fists clenched into the ground beneath you as you let out the most heart-twisting cries he had ever heard.

you were crying so loud you hadn't even heard the forest boy approaching you. feeling arms engulfing you, you began to panic. whoever it was immediately tried to soothe your struggles, and much to your surprise, you listened. you felt warmth, security, and comfort. things you never felt around rotxo, at least, not anymore.

"mawey, y/n. mawey. try to match my breathing," it was a familiar voice, but with all the physical and emotional pain clouding your senses, you couldn't pinpoint who it was. regardless, you tried your best to match his breathing, your heavy breaths slowing to quiet sobs and whimpers. it felt like your heart was really breaking. this realization was painful. rotxo didn't love you. he was using you.

you just wanted to be loved, and rotxo made you feel that way for a while. but that was the problem; it only lasted a while. then everything went to shit, and you were left cold and alone while rotxo was out cheating on you and forcing you to fake a smile for everyone around you so that you wouldn't ruin his reputation.

your cries had died down, and you were resting within the hold of the person behind you. his hushed words of comfort hadn't stopped, praising you for controlling your breath as he soothingly rubbed your shoulders. when you calmed down enough, you turned to look at the source of your comfort. it was honestly one of the last people you expected it to be.

you would've thought your brother or sister would find this secret spot before the forest boy did.

"lo'ak, what are you doing here?" you asked him, trying to escape his grasp and wipe your tears at the same time. lo'ak was quick to grab hold of your hands, preventing you from moving away from him.

"mawey, y/n. just relax. i'm here for you, and you can cry all you want to, sevin. i am not going anywhere." his voice was so comforting as he pulled you back into his embrace. you just sighed as you felt another wave of tears coming to your eyes. so you cried it out, relieving every sob, scream, and cry you had ever kept in, and lo'ak stayed with you through it all. never once letting you go and never stopping his whispers of reassurance.

when your sobs died down again, you noticed he intertwined his fingers with yours. you hadn't noticed his hands before. you weren't aware, but your ears perked up a bit, and your tail started to rev to life a bit when you saw he had five fingers instead of four. you wordlessly detangled your hand from his, causing the boy's ears to fall flat to his head.

you noticed his hands. did you see him differently now? his thoughts started as a drizzle quickly forming into a hurricane, but when he felt both of your hands grab one of his pulling it closer to your swollen eyes so you could examine it better, he chuckled. he thought it was cute, seeing you fiddle with his fingers as your soft sniffles continued. if this was distraction enough to keep you from crying, then lo'ak would let you play with his hands 24/7.

you didn't know that lo'ak's hands were his biggest insecurity, so the way you played with them and looked at them with wonder and not worry made his heart swell. lo'ak had not thought his life would be turned upside down like this, being forced to move away from his home and learn new ways of life. he hated it. but willingly getting to know someone and maybe even starting to fall for her had to be the best thing on that list. lo'ak knew he liked you for a while but never made any advances as you were taken. even though he could've been treating you so much better.

he loved how your hands felt in his and how your smile brightened up an entire room. he loved how attuned to nature you were. you hadn't even realized the school of fish swimming around your ankles rested in the river before you. it was as if the animals were trying to comfort you, too, somehow being able to sense your distress.

“y/n. do not listen to him. he is nothing but a lowlife who derives pleasure from others' pain," lo'ak started ranting, not caring if you were listening. he just wanted to speak his mind. "you are beautiful, y/n. the most beautiful, strong, loving, kind, graceful na'vi i've ever had the chance to meet. if moving away from my home means i get to find a new home here, with you, i would fly, walk, jump, or crawl my way here a hundred times over. i would do anything to be with you properly. i want to heal you from that asshole's mistakes. i want to show you what it feels like to be loved. not because you are olo'eyktan's daughter. but because you are you."

his eyes remained focused on yours as he recited every word. but you could tell he wasn't speaking something memorized or forced; he was speaking from his heart. you could hear it, as if eywa herself was whispering it to you. but you were hurt. could you trust someone so soon?

almost as if he could read your thoughts, he spoke up again.

"i know your trust is weary right now, but let me prove it to you. i will court you properly, meet your parents officially, ask for their blessing, i–" lo'ak sighed, almost as if he didn't want to continue, but he did. "i'll even stop fighting with ao'nung." that got a laugh out of you.

"lo'ak, are you sure about that?" you asked, looking up at him through your tears, flashing the first genuine smile he had ever seen on you. he was amazed. if he thought your fake smile lit up a room, then your genuine smile could bring light to an entire clan.

"i would do whatever you want me to do, syulang. i just want to be with you. i want to love you if you'll have me. we can take things at your pace. i'm in no rush because, for you, i would wait forever," he yearned for you, waiting patiently to see if you'll accept him.

you couldn't find any reason not to. this boy had to have been sent to you by eywa. he was meant to be the remedy to heal your heart after this tragic breakup. you were crying, but they were tears of joy and relief. you were finally free. free to feel love. free to feel happy. free to be you.

in the heat of the moment, you felt something wiggling under the ground beneath your leg. looking down, you see a glow worm inching up your leg. most do not know, but since the metkayina spirit tree is underwater, these little glow worms come up from the sand or appear on or around you whenever eywa tries to give you a sign. they're the metkayina equivalent of a woodsprite.

you could only gasp at the sight of the tiny creature. so he really is eywa sent? you thought as you saw a glow worm crawling up lo'ak's shoulder. this caused you to laugh, seeing as he also noticed the glow worm on his shoulder and started to panic, trying to flick the bug off his shoulder without hurting it.

"kehe, don't do that," you said as you grabbed his hand to prevent him from hurting the poor thing. you carefully placed your hand in front of the glowworm, allowing it to crawl into your palm. you took lo'ak's hand in yours, facing his palm up to allow the glow worm to walk from your hand to his.

"what is this?" he asked as he brought his hand closer to his face turning it as the glow worm walked around.

"i've heard about omatikaya woodsprites from kiri. they are like that but for the reefs. they are sent from eywa, meant to be wordless messengers," you explained to the forest boy.

your forest boy.

lo'ak couldn't help but smile at you, processing the words you had said. as he spoke again, he held nothing but love in his eyes, "y/n, i see you. oel ngati kameie," he gently held your face in his hands to ensure you made eye contact with him as he said it to you. you cried even harder because rotxo had never said that to you. and you're glad he didn't because you wouldn't have been able to say this back,

"oel ngati kameie, forest boy."

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dioricmunson · 7 months

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so what?

professor! e.m x student! reader

warnings : not much tbh, language, pet names, age gap ( r is 23 & em is 40 ) , usage of y/n, height difference, tiny bit of smut, making out in a class with a camera

P S : DO NOT FUCK YOUR PROFESSORS !

— “ alright everyone! that’s for todays lecture, homework will be on page 68 and please read topic 9 to 12! ” the bell rings and everyone starts packing or walking out.

you see, when the year first started she expected an old grumpy professor but instead she got a really, really hot professor. every day he would come to class in a blouse layered with a vest and always carrying files, books and paper work. “ er, y/n could you stay back for a bit? i need to talk to you about something.” shit.

“ sure! ” she said with a hesitant voice, “ good luck man ” rey said while chuckling. she was a good friend of yours, wasn’t close but she’s super smart and funny. once everyone left the class, your professor slowly walked to the class door and locked it. while walking back to his chair he spoke “ y/n, ive been starting to notice that your grades have been dropping. i mean how do you go from a 90% to a 40% under a week? ” he asked, now sat down. expecting an answer.

three minutes go by, no answer at all. “ well? are you going to answer? ” he asked, impatiently. while you’re looking down at your shoes and fidgeting with the hem of her blouse. “ im sorry, sir. ive just been.. busy ”

you said, even though that was a huge lie. you just can’t focus on him explaining literature while looking majestic. “ really? with what exactly? hm? ” he asked while walking up to you and putting his finger under your chin forcing you to look at him. oh you froze. you froze right then and there, not saying anything. just looking at him while he expects an answer.

“ now be a good girl and answer. ” he says in a demanding voice, “ well uhm.. with other assignments, you know ” you said as you nervously chuckled. “ ah, i see. “ he says, moving his finger while still looking down at you. the tension between them growing thicker and thicker.

“ so, i’ll let you pass this time just because its still my first year here. dont expect me to go easy on you though after this ” “ alright.. ” god. this is so wrong. so so wrong. imagining your professor bending you over on his desk while pumping into you and spitting into your mouth. overstimulating you to the fact you can’t take it anymore.

“ hello? you still there? ” he said while waving a hand infront of your face since you spaced out. “ er, yes sir, ill do my best for this year. ” he sighs “ sure darling, just stay a bit, yea? ” he asks and suddenly pulling you in, gentle kissing suddenly turning into roughly making out. resulting in him pushing and slamming you against the classroom wall.

suddenly there’s a knock on the door “ shit, give me a minute doll. just hide for a bit yea? ” you nod and hide under his desk. “ ah! mrs. nance did you um, need anything? ” knowing his blouse was messed up, his vest opened, his clean clipped hair now very messy and the paperwork on his desk was messed up. “ um, yea was just checking if your class was still in here. Have a good one ed! ”

she said, while walking away hearing the clicking of her heels hitting the floor. “ now.. where were we? ” he asks with a huge smirk plastered on his face.

ps : i hate this and spent 3 hours on it, pt2 maybe ? :) also im sorry this isn’t good + left it on a cliff hanger😭

#eddie munson x reader #older!eddie smut #older!eddie Munson #rey rey’s sustaine #dioricmunson #stranger things #eddie munson #professor!eddie munson

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oathofkaslana · 26 days

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gay hi3 moments from the top of my head (some details inaccurate) also some of these are awful and i hate them ok i need it to be known i dont like all of these.

kiana counting down how long it’s been since she’s seen mei to the minute.

the “i gain the power of 100 men when mei’s around!”

bronya seele kiss in azure waters where seele goes "i gave you my first kiss sm sm" and im pretty sure makes her promise to give one to her when they reunite

FUCK. COOKING W VALKS MANHUA WHERE SEELE GOES "the sea is so beautiful i feel like i could stare at it forever" AND BRONYA GOES "duh because the water is azure blue. just like your eyes" AND GOES LIKE AN INCH IN HER FACE.

i feel like i have to put everything in azure waters oh my god i feel sick i miss them so much.

kiana licking mei’s wound in escape from nagazora

kiana and mei in a hot spring and kiana touching mei’s boobs saying she’s been wanting to. i think also in escape from nagazora.

kiana getting unnecessarily jealous over bronya whenever mei shows her any attention

bronseele ad where bronya complains about having her license revoked and seele going “good! now i know you’re not picking up other girls”

lament of the fallen. (COME ON. COMPARED TO EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD, YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT????)

kiana and mei being compared to a canonical m/f couple, owl and ana.

shakespeare mentions how it’s interesting to see real couples play a part and one of the couples being bianka and rita in durandal’s visual novel.

speaking of that play. biankas cgaracter makes a line about having sex w his wife (played by rita) and rita teases bianka about wanting it afterwards and bianka blushes

biankas one birthday cutscene where the narrator was talking abt how there’s this feeling she can’t put into words and how captivated she is by rita’s radiant smile ← GET A ROOM!!!!!

elysia calling her fight w mei a first date

eden saying that forever being apart of elysia makes her happy because its the most romantic ending

mei saying her favorite colors are orange and red (kiana and her's key colors)

mei coming back to the elysian realm after briefly talking to kiana and eden and elysia both notice how much happier she is and elysia goes "tell me about her" (HER.)

elysia voice. i like pretty girls.

every single elysia and kiana interaction in ch 34 idc if its mei's dream ("im so weak for pretty girls like kiana" "unless kiana prefers something more bold like purring in my arms" <- WHAT IS WRONG W HER!!!!!!!!!!!!)

natasha intenbtionally taking her hood off after mei told her that elysia says she doesnt meet natasha bc of her hood

elymei horn scene.

mei dreaming about having a japanese wedding with kiana.

kiamei matching rings named after chinese numbers symbolic of love that were given out for white day.

kiamei stigmata showing them getting married that was given out for valentines day.

reburn kiss where kiana kisses mei's battered mech while crying after i love you in german flashes on screen.

kiana going "this treasure called love" and immediately getting a text from mei.

"this is a story about love it will end with love" as kiana and mei walk with each other past durandal and rita to meet with bronya whos with seele AS CANON IN D STARTS PLAYING. YK THE FUCKING MARRIAGE CEREMONY SONG.

SAKUKALLEN KISS IN COOKING WITH VALKYRIES

theresa thinking sakura (a woman) kissed her and going "wait! im not like kiana and mei!"

kallen voice "the herrscher girl is innocent and i am in love with her"

^upon learning that kiana blushing and going "theres onthing wrong with falling in love with a herrscher!" while thinking of mei

moon shadow where kiana's heart starts racing bc she thinks fu hua's fallen in love with her and the wlw symbol is drawn behind her as she blushes and says "ive given my body and soul to mei but--"

fu hua later being teased by a coworker who suggested that hua likes kiana

sakukallen "love at first sight" line in sakura samsara

HELP THAT ONE EVENT WHERE VELIONA SLAMS BRONYA ONTO A WALL TO INTIMIDATE HER AND BRONYAS BLUSHING AND AS VELI'S YELLING AT HER, EINSTEIN WALKS OUT, SEES THEM, AND GOES, "sorry for interrupting, have fun"

also in that same event, bronya blushing and avoiding seele the next day and going "sorry bronya cant forget because thats a precious memory for bronya"

susannah fawning over durandal, rita, and sushang

susannah talking about how pretty sushang is and how she likes her voice i hate them oh my god susannah get up

tesla being jealous of welt joyce when ein teasingly gives him special attention in the visual novel

tesla getting jealous when planck (i think) hugs ein tightly and kisses ein on the head

tesla edison fingering joke after edison sniffs her neck.

bronya's bridge interactions w seele. my god i love them so mcuh.

sakura and kallen having heart reactions when you put them in bed next to each other

sakukallen "yae sakura shall fade, beloved, your kin shall live. in the far east 500 years ago where sakura blossoms bloom, yae sakura waits for her one true love"

gratitude arc where kallen loves sakura so much that protecting sakura becomes a part of the oath she genetically passes on to theresa

the 4koma on the sight where kiana and mei are told to get a room, apply for a marriage certificate(? i think), and have heart eyes towards each other while the wlw signs are behind them

kiana voice "this has nothing to do with me going lesbo!!!"

4koma kiana voice "im a lesbian everyone knows that"

elysia and aponia's "girl games"??????????? <- on thin ice but cmon no way that wasnt an innuendo

elysia's interaction w HoO mei where she talks about wanting to touch a particular thing but gets cut off by mei telling her she cant touch her horns again (SHE DOES NOT HAVE HORNS IN HER HoO SUIT)

kiana smiling when she sees mei's boobs in the anniversary vlog short thing.

the shenzhou island event where kiana points a camera at mei's boobs and goes "hehe mei is so pretty"

durarita matching earrings in their matching battlesuits

and ok im blanking now yay this is definitely not all when i say off the top of my head i really mean off the top of my head.

#hnk3

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tunisian · 8 months

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just me venting

my mom has been so fucking unbearable since i told her i want to go to tunisia.

she thinks im only going there for my crush (he lives there) despite of me telling her im not even going to see him and me wanting to go on excursions to explore the country.

a list of things that happened ever since then:

she got angry at me because i said 'okay then let's meet up there' instead of 'going there together' (i wanted to go by the end of the month, she wanted to go in october with my dad)

she yelled at me for 'never going there with them again' and how it's been '2-3 years since we flew there together'. like. she completely FORGOT that we were there together a year ago. and we did so many things AND went to a wedding of her cousin. but she just 'forgot'

the day after she thinks shes being very petty and slick by talking to me out of nowhere going 'isnt it better if you spent that vacation money on your drivers license instead?' and i go "i have money for both'. she made another dumb remark after that that i just blocked out

this needs its own list:

yesterday she started our last conversation with 'oh im soooo tired....' and because i didnt reply she continues: 'ive been up since FIVE/FIVE THIRTHY AM!!' and i go 'okay? me too? and i had to go to work.' and then she says that she couldnt sleep because she had a 'prophetic dream', you know those dreams people swear will come true like its an omen.

she dreamt about 'something bad happening to me'. i ask what it was about, she says 'oh i cant tell you bla bla if i tell you it will come true'. so i go 'let me guess. you dreamt about something bad happening to me when im there'. and she says 'YOU KNOW I CANT TELL YOU'.

i tell her 'let me guess. i got it right. you know what? im not going there in september. i'll go in november then.'

she replies with 'THEN IM GOING WITH YOU (AS WELL)

at this point im very, very fucking tired. so i say 'you want to go with me in november after going in october? alright. but first find a way how you're going to give me the 500 euros you borrowed from me. then find a way how you're going to pay for your 'upcoming trip' in october since you want to stay in a hotel and go on excursions with me so bad. then find a way how you're going to pay for all of those things as well for november. then we'll see.'

her: 'wowwww im your MOM. remember what i did for you last time so you could go in may? and you're going this to me?'

me: 'in may you asked me EVERY DAY where your money was and to pay you back. i paid you back at SOON as i got paid. today is the ONLY time i bring up the money you borrowed from me and its been two weeks. YOU made it a problem. so yes. pay me back and then we'll see about november.

i go to my room, not even a couple of minutes later shes in there too and gave me back my money saying 'im never asking or borrowing money from you again'

i didnt talk to her for the rest of the night + she told my dad about it im some fucking way because when i greeted him this morning he went 'STAY AWAY FROM ME IM ANGRY AT YOU.' im 25 dont make me fucking laugh

and today she 'sat me down' and said 'you're not going to tunisia. forget about it.' like i still want to go when you've been doing nothing but work on my fucking nerves about it

shes also convinced herself that 'its very suspicious i want to go see more of tunisia NOW' as if september doesnt have the best fucking weather over there and tickets are much cheaper now (i couldnt go in july because of work, august was too hot and too expensive)

once again she also convinced herself im going there for my crush and she said 'you are bringing yourself DOWN [for others]' like at this point she's just delusional.

besides this shes also been pushing me to find another job and to find 'my own place' but not even in a normal amount. she literally said 'im pushing you to motivate you' and i told her today that the only pushing shes doing is pushing me over the fucking balcony (we live on the highest floor of this apartment building) and then she called me 'weak'

she even brought up one of my close friends for no fucking reason like they owe me to help me? + she truly thinks i dont have any dreams that im working towards or something and im not amounting to anything because im not working myself to the bone at some fucking company to get a minimal wage check by the end of the month. she also went "so? what do you want to achieve?" she even grabbed a PEN AND PAPER to write it down and i go "you know what? i DO want to get a better paying job and i DO want to find my own place so i dont have to come back here ever again :)" and then she threatened me with "if you cut us off YOU wont have any family. you wont have this, you wont have that. dont trust on YOUR friends to be there for you like your family." girl all of you can go fuck yourself.

i truly dont understand what her fucking problem is.

#usertunisian.vents

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myskyperevenge · 2 years

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it's been a few days since i went up here. ive been informed that its kind of telling the extent to which im touched like deeply in my heart over the boring ugly ass places i spend my time but like lets be real here most people are basically on some hot mindless bullshit vis a vis beauty like youve got people talking about like. fucking. what. literally the most boring shit ever like just incapable of forming a single relationship with anything theyve ever seen unless they've been given the wordless "okay" for it from the world at large like people wear fucking makeup and shit. thats whats really gay i think.

theres a circle of nothing around the facility just boxing you in same way the heat does you know, which makes sense because no one wants to live around this place for the same reasons no one wants to live by an airport or a cemetery or anywhere drugs are produced in significant numbers, all of which they also do out here btw. lol. anyway it's a chain; youre contained first by the heat then by the machinery and then by miles of space, empty space not even horse trails or makeshift shooting ranges or nothing like that. you dont come out here you know theres no lights.

anyway personally i think there's a lot to be said for walking on something huge and hollow. i'm pretty significantly underweight and shorter than the average adult male even though thats what i am and i wasnt expecting the metal underneath me to cave but it did. nothing gave way of course but there's something interesting about the feeling of the "ground" literally caving in under your feet. im vaguely conscious that i should be afraid of this, but that's just another sensation.

the lights are off color here but your presence makes every one of them feel like a halo shining down. i dont make a habit of thinking about or expressing my feelings but sometimes i do feel them and i think you're a dumb bitch for asking any more of me than that

churning and gurgling under the dented metal beneath my feet is laid over by the dull roar of the fans. the wind blows and from what cant be less than five stories above the ground i look down and watch him move. it's always fascinated me the way clothing can frame a body; he looks different than he did before. i'd smile but i don't feel like it. thats okay though

used to spend a lot of time thinking about places like this and the consequences of spending lots of time in them. i want to get my fingers into places like this even if it pinches and burns. now's a really good time for us to split a cigarette you know. sit down a minute. 20$ says you wont see more than 7 or 8 cars on the road going through here the whole time we're up watching. it's got to mean something to someone but im honestly just cool hanging out with you. no big deal yk i just dont get out that often anymore so i get sentimental real easy like its so gay.

so yeah slickdirk. this is a little rambly and shit im not apologizing here just like giving a warning im typing this up inthe library after an early early morning /late late night shift cuz the electric in my unit is off and its hot as ass in there so fuck that basically. anyway

before i say anything more of course ive got to specify that i'm totally riffing off of tumblr user @youabandonedthem for my slick characterization here. but honestly it doesn't feel like characterization it's more like dear beloved sweet yat has the only meaningful understanding of slick anyone has ever had in the world like i mean come on look at that fucking blog youre kidding me and also stupid as fuck if you think thats even an interpretation of the character its just straight up factual. jackass. anyway im all over it hope its ok to namedrop you here dont be a stranger and all that.

similarly shoutout to dear beloved sweet @ottiliere for her dirk characterization which is similarly the only dirk that could possibly matter to me like most of everyone else who posts about him seems to have just not read homestuck some of the people writing meta about him even just have no grasp on ANY of the characters if were being real here but thats way off topic anyway otti owns i dont usually give a shit about aus but if its good its good and if you deny it youre nothing basically.

i dont think anyone has given love to tmc the way yat does and i don't think anyone has really put their heart into making weird niche homestuck art the way ottiliere does (at least not in this era like ive been OVER this before if youve ever talked to me we are living in a post-post-homestuck society). which makes sense because the vast majority of modern fans (of anything) are altogether much more boring breed. no plumage or patterns or anything fun. but thats another thing. and also overly pessimistic of me but whatever i feel like if someone reads that and feels like theyre being called boring its because they know somewhere that theyre boring and missing out and maybe thats their wakeup call to start getting silly with it. or maybe no one cares i dont know i dont give a shit.

anyway the intitial interest in slickdirk was generated pretty specifically in the context of the two of them being psych warded together. typically this prospect alone would be like harlequin novel parody fanfiction type shit such that i wouldnt have any interest in it, but this was different from the get go on the basis that their interactions were never initially about romance.

dirk is self aware to the point of walking backwards. he's self obsessed, self conscious, hyperfixated-in the true sense-on how he presents himself. like all people like this, he's also constantly telling on himself. i'm speaking in terms of canon and otti's dirk here btw, this is true of both fundamentally. in terms of otti's vision specifically, though…it's dialed up, right.

people who think about themselves like this are inherently isolated from other people because, regardless of how they feel about themselves, they're very convinced they're better than everyone else. being in an institution full of other sick people can spur this line of thinking regardless of how untrue it is; once you've decided you're above the rest of the BRAINBROKE FREAKS around you, it's hard to even start to empathize with any of them! if you look back at some of otti's older posts you can kind of feel the extent to which dirk doesn't want jackshit to do with nothing going on in the hospital like just obviously has no interest in participating or anything like that in any capacity.

slick on the other hand like. really i can't write any of this without referencing yat's house essay about the midnight crew watching house and specifically spades slick watching house and how he would feel about it. forget everything i just said and go read that and then come back. okay so he obviously thinks about himself and his body and very specifically his disability in such a way that he is basically completely unaware of it in spite of living with it day to day. if you know what kind of guy im talking about here you know but also im going on good faith here assuming you read the youabandonedthem papers so even if you dont KNOW you should at least have kind of an idea what im referring to here.

the big draw between these two is that they're both in completely different subtypes of denial about themselves to vastly different effects. of course they'd be drawn to each other in this scenario…they're literally the ONLY NORMAL people in the whole building uhh have you seen the other guys in here. lol like what even.

and the thing is that even following up the initial theorized meeting in the ward, like, there's all this potential for what could come after…don't get it twisted this isn't some edgy folie a deux that im suggesting that would be so boring.

they're more than "bad for each other" even if they're not quite "good for each other" either. it isn't about an endgame or even necessarily "shipping" as a lot of people think of it. it's more like…the ways their differences and similarities line up feel aligned, even though it wasn't intentional, the same way some moments just feel "right". it isn't about how long the moment lasts or what its impact is, just that there was a moment where there wouldn't have been one if even a few tiny things had shifted. life is comprised of shit like that right. so when something like slickdirk comes along you can either balk at the absurdity of it or ride the wave.

orjust like passively observe thats an option too of course. no big deal it could literally never ever be a big deal im literally just out here trying to have fun trying to make myself laugh yk.

#dirk strider #homestuck #spades slick #putting something interesting in the tags youre super welcome but like dont think too much of it its no big deal to me #i sympathize i sympathize with you i made my mind i made my mind

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spidergwen-real-notclickbait · 4 months

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hello gamers here is another one of my infamous rants you can all ignore but im saying this all to countless people on Tumblr coz none of you know me irl so its less embarrassing but like...

I know ive complained about this before but ive had some realisations but im literally 21 tomorrow (in a few hours) and it still really upsets me that ive never had a relationship but ive been thinking about it and it literally is all my fault like... I have such cripplingly low self esteem I physically cannot believe that someone would ever be into me and just for example, there was this guy I went on a date w from tinder like a year ago now and he was rly nice but I freaked out bc he wanted to sleep w me on the fist date and that terrified me coz it was the first date I went on since I was assaulted so I just ignored him after that... but he messaged me again a few months later wanting to meet up again and I was fucking stupid and cancelled last minute.. like sorry for the long story but just an example of how I freak the fuck out whenever someone shows any interest in me.. and also I found out a few days ago that he has a gf now and I just hate myself sm coz that couldve been me yk?? but its happened so many times where someone asks me out or shows interest and I just reject them.. and then I wonder why ive never been in a relationship like it literally is all my fault.. there was this girl I was sort of seeing for a bit but she just texted me one day and now she's dating her housemate and there was this guy a bit ago that I really fucking liked but he messaged me at fucking 4am one day saying 'sorry for leading u on but im not ready for a relationship' and like???? why were you on hinge then??? and why did you spend all night every night for god knows how long saying how u can't wait to see me again???? like I know a relationship isn't the point of life but when nearly all my friends are in v serious relationships, like moving in together and talking about family shit, I just rly feel like ive missed out and I just wanna know what it feels like to love someone and have my heartbroken and shit like that what every other person I know has and... idk sorry this is so long its just rly upsetting me but I dont have anyone else to talk to coz I dont know anyone else in this situation sorry guys

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verminviscount · 8 months

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ive been made aware that i have strong opinions on my personal ranking of percy jackson characters so im making a post about it. bc thats what we do here on tungle.hell. experiencing brain worms? spread the word. @garecc i invite you to include your own brain worms here

for those who may not know, which i expect is most of my followers here, Travis (garecc) and i go way back to the days of a trials of apollo discord server that has since crumbled under the weight of various discourse and does not exist at this time. so if anyone understands pjo brain rot, its him.

ONTO THE RANKING. ill be focusing on main characters bc if i include side characters we'll be here all day and Sally Jackson would be every character in this top 5.

1. Hazel Levesque. Deserves better in the eyes of fandom. Gained pretty good control over the mist within one book. Has a cool magic horse. Similar tragic backstory to Nico, but not sulking about it. No shame in sulking, but its cool to see someone go through bad shit and come out still feeling mostly okay.

2. Will Solace. Unfortunately for me, I haven't finished the trials of apollo series yet, so i dont know THAT much about Will as he's primarily a background character. But Apollo kids and medics both get my utmost respect and appreciation, always. and he's a little bit of a sarcastic little shit, but the kind where people dont get annoyed with you bc its almost always funny and lighthearted. i know from hearing people talk about tsats that he's also a Sad Boy (which is to be expected as a demigod, tragedy physically cannot leave you alone.), and im excited to read about someone with my personality go through a mental breakdown :D!

3. Frank Zhang. Listen to me. How can he not be this high up. I don't even know where to begin with this guy, he's so gods damned cool. He's just such a good character and a good dude too! I'd love to be his friend. What a sweetheart, iirc he was the only person at camp jupiter who wasnt freaked out by Nico? he's so nice. children of Ares/Mars are usually mean, and he's so nice. i love him so much. also his life force is connected to a chunk of wood, which is kinda neat. he's a legacy of poseidon. he's canadian. im pretty sure his first name is Westernized bc his grandma calls him Fai, my last name was westernized when my great grandparents came over so i sort of get it though not nearly to the same degree. I ALMOST FORGOT HE CAN SHAPESHIFT!!! DUDE what a cool guy. we gotta move on, i gotta cut myself off. give him more attention in your fan works

4. Nico di Angelo. obviously a fan favorite, but im talking canon Nico here. im not talking about an uwu soft emo boi. im talkin about a sarcastic, pessimistic, deeply insecure little dude. listen, im not gonna talk about the things i love about nico because its been said a million times. its nothing new. im just gonna say that i love reading about characters that go through awful awful trauma and still overcome and find joy on the other side.

5. Rachel Elizabeth Dare. so my impulse is to put Leo here bc i adored him when i first read HoO. and if i didnt really think about it, i wouldve put him. but... Rachel!! how can you not love her! a mortal lady who can see through the mist, she fought with a hairbrush, she's the liveliest and loveliest oracle of delphi camp halfblood has ever and will ever know, she’s from money and hates it, she's an activist, an artist, way more helpful than the last oracle for sure. the mummy in the attic just left you to fend for yourself, Rachel will at least try to help you interpret what a prophecy means. she's blunt and talks a mile a minute, i love seeing my "flaws" represented positively in media.

honorable mentions: Leo Valdez of course, easily my number 6 spot. Apollo/Lester, we love seeing immense character development. Grover Underwood, probably the first time i ever had a definitive favorite character. Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, romance would be dead and we wouldnt have a series without them.

#percy jackson #pjo hoo toa #character ranking

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goremet-chef · 11 months

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vent. mind the tags

grieving with bpd is so... i wont say its worse or anything cuz im really not about that shit, anyone and almost everyone can and has felt this pain before, its a constant of life, but.. when im not actively sobbing and depressed and my mood switches up, it makes me feel so guilty. i should be spending that time in misery, i should be wailing and wiping more snot from my nose and my head should hurt worse like it was a few minutes ago, but yknow. emotional permanence n all that

its so funny, they keep trying to get me to believe in god, she says he'll show himself to me and ill find him my own way. i respect that she at least respects im not there yet (i dont think ill ever be truthfully but we can agree to disagree), but i just keep losing more and more, and any faith i had gets ripped away in an instant. there is no god worth worshipping, because someone worth worshipping would not put me through this pain again and again and again

3 pets dead within a YEAR. riley died june 29, 2022, talcum died in october of 2022, and now artemis, today. may 24. it hasnt even been a full year since riley died. i cant keep doing this man

i find myself less hopelessly despaired and choking on my spit wailing sad like the last two, only because im started to.. lose faith in everything. i feel cynical, it makes me MAD

because i did everything right this time. with riley, i made the mistake of even THINKING that it couldve been cancer, and then it was. i know that wasnt my fault, he had the tumor before i even came to visit and before we took him to the vet, but its still incredibly hard not to blame myself for that. talcum died of stress, because bruce kept jumping on his bird cage. i was so ashamed with myself that my MOM (who doesnt even view our pets as family, more like accessories) noticed talcum wasnt singing like he used to. i didnt even notice until the day after when my sibling was on the phone with every vet he could call to see if they took birds

i was optimistic this time, because it looked hopeful! it seemed like she would be okay, i told myself itll be fine and that we'll fix her up and she'll live longer because she deserves to. obviously that was completely useless because shes dead now, so none of that mattered. i didnt even get to say goodbye to her. i said bye when i left my grandmas house a few days ago, but.. its not the same.

i did everything right this time and obviously it didnt fucking matter because theres no fixing that. theres nothing you can do, death is the worst part of life and it never goes away. never gets easier, you can never outrun it. it makes me so sad that the ones who dont deserve it get it first. i know they were old cats but artemis wasnt THAT old. she probably wouldve lived happily for quite some time after, if everything turned out good. ive known them since i was 7. theyve been in my life forever, and now theyre both gone

god it hurts so much, it never gets easier. i just feel so hopeless right now. i wish i could freeze time, and we could just exist as we are forever. but i cant do that

#pet death #tw pet death #pet loss #tw pet loss #vent

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elytrafemme · 2 years

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there’s an ice pack to my cheek that i’m trying to get on for twenty minutes before it loses it’s cool and I have music playing and my brain is running really quick and I need to text my best friend so basically this is going to be a bit of a messy post but I’ve had a lot of thoughts recently and I think they’re nice sort of and I said a few but I want to say more

been thinking about love recently. just like love of the world and love for people. and how bad it hurts like even when it’s reciprocated like when its one of my friends I love them so much it feels like I cant breathe sometimes? like I want to tell them oh I love the stories you tell and I love the way that you are so brave after everything and I love how you do things that are unforgivable sometimes but you make it better you find a way to apologize and mean it and we are all so deeply flawed as human beings we do really stupid shit I can never apologize for everything Ive done but we’ve found a sanctuary here. you still go out to sit in a park together with me even though last time we went out it stormed so bad the leaves almost scarred up my legs. you still come out to protect me even though I tried to force you to talk about your sister and Im sorry I know Im not her but Im here and you’re here and we’ve got the rest of forver to figure this out. and I haven’t talked to you since the start of summer and I don’t think I’ll ever see you again but I love you you know that it was just the exhaustion Im sorry it was jut that. you’ve been sleeping for so long and between the spaces you’re awake you’ve been at amusement parks and I’m chasing the same answers you’ve had stolen from you in hopes that we can hold it together even if I have to find you time and time again even if you have to coax the beast out of me. Ive loved you since the dawn of time since before I knew your name and I know, I know, I know

i think til the heat death of the universe i will be a little particle of love. I think we all are I think we love more than we expect ourselves to. everything you’ve given a bit of time to wasn’t that a bit of love? I love the orchids that my mother cares for bc I don’t care ofr them but I know she loves them and I love her and so of course orchids are my favorite flower what other flower would I like more? except lilies of the valley but yknow thats different. The people I’ve hated with my entire being are the people that I love so fucking fiercly. the people I know I can’t bring back because Im not built for that Im just trying to love and I only get to love 4% of the people I love but that’s ok. I can live with that statistic.I know there are people I share this wonderful earth with that love the other 96% and I know that maybe one day that number will grow maybe that number never fluctuates maybe the people I no longer love I still do in a sense. I think im just a thousand mes and we’re trying to figure it out and we fuck it up every time. Im starting to think that’s a good thing because what would it mean if we were good at this? Shit dude I’ve never been good at loving people I’ve never been good at saying what I mean I’ve never been good at controlling myself I’ve never been good at a single goddamn thing. I keep trying though pulled myself out of the dirt and I’m trying. Like my mother’s orchids. Kind of I don’t expect you to get it but if you do well. here we are.

I live in this body and I love so relentlessly. and I am such a flawed person oh goddammit I am one of the cruelest human beings alive I have done awful things to people and some of those people were awful too and some of those people were trying not to be and some of those people will get to be here someday and go oh I was awful. And every time I see someone that I never want to speak to again is doing well I cry my eyes out because I know that we finally made it. they don’t want to speak to me I don’t want to speak to them they ruined me they are the reason that I am not alone on this earth but they made me so so alone that I had to have more people here. and they’re happy. holy shit they are HAPPY isn’t that something? It’s hard because some people I hate so viciously and I know I used to love them but they are truly rotten to the core. but if I don’t wish happiness for everyone than where do we draw the line? there has to be a place where people grow and change and become better. it may not be better to me but it may be better to someone. I’m sure I’m the worst person in the world to some people but to other people I’m a person who is growing to be better. isn’t that the point?

I’m sad all the time over the people who I love who I know may not love me back may not care may not ever come back again. I’m unable to sleep at night thinking about the amount of people I must have changed the course of the lives of forever. it aches like hell all the time. But what makes me more sad is that there are people who I have been a good person for and I have been kind to who may not realize that I do it for them that the world spins every day and the sun rises and it’s all for them to try again. We’re al just trying again this was all for us and our creations and for us to figure out. it wasn’t made by us or maybe it was I leave that up to you but I think we’re doing our best. It hurts knowing that people don’t know how much I love them

but it’s really lovely isn’t it? we’re all figuring it out we’re all awful we’re all this condensed ball of sunlight. I think we’re the loveliest people to ever walk this planet and I think everything that covers this planet is lovely too. I think some things are awful of course I don’t like pollution I don’t like death I don’t like murder I don’t like a lot of things. but I have to love this place with everything in me and holy shit it feels like dying it feels like DYING there is something inside me that tells me to rip it apart. but no. I love it. because I love everything and I love you and maybe you love me maybe you don’t. either is ok. I don’t need an answer but if you have one I’ll take it. we’re working on it. we aren’t. it’s whatever you want however you’ll have me I’m here and I won’t always be here I have people to visit and places in the world to see but what I mean is that if you call for me I will try to get back and if I can’t get back someone else will and you’ll wish it were me and then one day you won’t and then we’ll get through it we will we will maybe I’ll see you again maybe I won’t maybe it’s a dreamscape.

i have a lot of love in me. i need to hold this ice pack to my cheek. i need to text my best friend. i need to text my other old friend. i think one of them will reply and i think the other one won’t. it’s okay. we’re breathing. can you believe that?

there was a time where i thought i didn’t love and here i am and i am loving. good things fractal out and happen always. i love so much it makes me hate myself. and i hate so much it makes me love myself. and both times it’s love. it loops around. it was always just that.

#nightmare.personal #long post #I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.#maybe i'm scared maybe i'm downright terrified but there are people to love and there are words to love and there are places to be #i will sleep in this bed and make another's one day I will take this medicine and help someone take theirs someday #i will text someone and i will get texted. we all keep living. time passes a bird is still chirping otuside this music is too loud #i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you. i'm shitty and i'm awful and there's love inside me. in both of us

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twlightlight · 1 day

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hi, I'm aisha!!! im somali, i have a ton of interests but the ones im totally invested in are;

yuki yuna is a hero (since i was 6, actually... ive rewatched this anime a couple times now, it always takes me back to the first time I've watched this.)

honkai impact 3rd (joined during the evangelion collab, i have quit and dropped this game a couple times but i always come back,,,, seriously, what did mihoyo put in this game??)

genshin impact (i started playing a couple days after release, as i didn't have a phone at the time. I've played on many accounts, the first being a guest on my sister's phone, then my first long time account, then my second long time account (on america servers) that lasted until wanderers first banner (got hacked...) que loooooong break, and now im grinding my alt that i haven't touched since inazuma..,)

project sekai (i joined during late 2021!!! my childhood already had a ton of vocaloid influence so it was no surprise that i got into this game quickly buttttt..., i didn't know how to save an account on prsk at the time, so ive gone through many accounts, i only found out how to save an account recently..., my first fave group , and the one that drew me closer to prsk was more more jump!!! i still remember the first chapter, also the roof top scene with haruka..., my second fave group back then (my now fave) is niigo!!!!! not a surprise, i loved the whole online motif, and mafuenas story really resonated with me. my favourite characters at first were alternating between minori and kanade, but now it's kanade and haruka...)

aghghghhcan you tell what my fav game is? im also just getting into console games, but my controller is broken and im broke, soo,,,,,

my favourite shows include;

Brooklyn 99

Disenchantment

The Good Place

Never Have I Ever

Bridgerton

Derry Girls

Heartbreak High

apart from games and these very specific shows, there's not much else i do except scrolling tiktok..., BUTTT at the end of every 5-6 months, i look on webtoon to see how many of my faves have gone off hiatus, how many chapters have been published, and so on. i do this for manhua that aren't on webtoon as well (death is the only ending for the villainess...)

i ALSO edit, not very fun as my head is akin to the desert with a tumbleweed grazing the land every time i try thinking of an idea.

i made this account to exercise my writing, and to also write the fics I've wanted to read for so long...

i just realised i haven't written anything about ME..., so, here's some of my personality traits (I've asked my sister's for reference,,,)

very picky with food, yet i eat so much. they say its really weird that I'm skinny, and that i should probably see a doctor.

complains too much about stomach pains, should prolly see a doctor

WIMPPPPP. cowers at the sight of a cockroach. (i didn't kill a roach ONCE 2 YEARS AGO and theyre still holding it against me)

hi3 yapper

fu hua defender. "if you like her so much marry her ffs"

never ending-never watched watchlist

"STOP TALKING ABT ARLECCHINO WE DGAF"

"tappy game" player (they mean prsk,)

on that tappy game for way too long

"SHITTT at baking, cooking, cleaning. marry her with caution."

always inside. will find any excuse to stay inside, gets tired easily. one 30 minute walk later and all she will say is "my legs hurt" or "I'm tired" or "let's go home" or any other variation of that

"STOP BEINF A HERMIT. THE MORE YOU STAY INSIDE THE MORE YOU TURN LIGHTER"

↑↑ my dad thought i was bleaching my skin because i turned lighter than the last time he saw me.....,

AHGHHJKKKK......., yeah... 😭😭

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moonjxsung · 17 days

Note

HELLAUR POOKIE I MISSED YOU RAHHHH it has been a serious hot minute since ive been back here hello everyone hello star hello every single 85 anons (woah thats a lot) RAHHH first of all i reread all of your anon asks and your personal updates on your blog and im really upset to hear that youre taking down all of your small drabbles and requests (rip my favorite minho biker story <//3) but honestly i totally do understand where you stand on this and i respect your opinion im just glad youre still here and staying with us !!! (im chaining up your ankles and keeping you here forever who's in who's basement now huh !! yeah thats what i thought !!! [we have conjoined basements])

I MISSED YOU STAR RAHHH i was going through yet another week of "oh shit i think my mental health is depleting but im going to pretend that its not at a critical level right now and immerse myself in studies and hope it goes away" but in fact it did not go away and i dont know how i feel right not BUT ITS OKAY because im rewatching komi cant communicate and i made my 84th spotify playlist on my fifth spotify account and i used to use 4 spotify accounts during 2022-2023 so this is probably like my 600th smth playlist but yk!!! (i made a total of like 30+ this year so far im goign crazy star help me)

speaking of i shoudl send you my new playlist on discord ALSO i saw you and an anon talking about 505 RAHHHHH ARCTIC MONKEYS <333333 i used to be a huge arctic monkeys fan but now im getting back into them i literally have a 505 phase RIGHT NOW ive been listenign to it on loop !!! idk why im so energetic right now rahh i missed you lots oh yeah also !!! my $50 temu package arrived and i like freaked out about it for like a solid 15 minutes then proceeded to lose my ring and brand new keychain in like the next 2 hours (im so upset) its okay though cs they were like 50 cents each i can rebuy it !!! (im still upset) star im not kidding im serious when i say ive spent over 90 bucks on temu during hte past like 3-4 months please help me star im going insane my friends keep saying that im such a loyal temu customer that atp the company is going to start recruiting me to be one of their asian workers in china and ill be enslaved earning two pennies a day for the rest of my life

did you knwo peppermint candy is good

~《☘️》

HIIIIIIIII POOOOKIEEEEE RAHHHHHH I MISSED YOU SO MUCH HOW ARE YOU HOW’S IT GOINGNTHTJFJDKDKDJ I will gladly remain shackled to the confines that are tumblr. I love it here (mostly) I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH RAHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️

I’m SOOOO sad about my shorter drabbles (biker!minho story was literally my fav one by FAR oh my god) but hopefully they can pick up again in the future 💔💔 fuck you wattpad thieves. We all booed !

ANYWAYS I MISSED YOU TOOOO I was also having a shitty mental health week and I’ve just been insanely busy like I haven’t had a single second this week to just sit down and take a fucking breather!!!! But we made it to the weekend and I’m alive RAHHHH star lives to see another weekend of interacting w her beloved anons and consuming kpop content 💯💯 I hope you’re doing better though my sweet angel!!!! April has been so shitty but I know we’re gonna make it out of it alive somehow 🫶 ALSO YES SEND ME ALL THE SPOTIFY PLAYLISTS I NEED SO MUCH NEW MUSIC TO LISTEN TO ‼️‼️ I’ve been listening to the arctic monkeys nonstop again bc I was talking about them on here I LOVEEEE HOW WE’RE BOTH BACK IN 505 PHASE SOOOO REAL

PLELWKAKSLDKSKEKDKR RHE TEMU PART 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 CRYINGNTJTNGNFMEMEJ THAT’S me at the fucking kpop store near my HOUSEEEMEKEKE I SPENT $200 THERE TODAY AND IM GOING BQDK TOMORROW BC THEY GOT THE NEW JHOPE KEYCHAINS AND BEANIES IN STOCK I NEED RHEM SOOOO BAD. YOU AND ME RETAIL THERAPY TOGETHER ERA WHEN 😍😍😍😍🫶

Also peppermint candy is good but not as good as you I love you so much RAHHHHH I MISSED YOU SO BADDDJEKSKSKSKS

#☘️ anon #ask

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iwadori · 3 years

Text

When they leave you on your wedding day (Sakusa, Bokuto)

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.7K

masterlist

Sakusa’s will make more sense if you read this you don’t have too but it’ll help.

Sakusa:

“Y/N,” you hear knocks on the door outside your dressing room “I-I need to talk to you.”

“But Omi, a groom must never see their bride until they meet at the alter,” you say behind the door.

“I-It’s important, and I must tell you right now.” he says a bit more intensely

“Okay, Okay... you can come in but im hiding in the closet since my dress is already on.”

“Ok.”

You hear the door open and shut, and a lot of pacing around of what you can presume was his fresh wedding shoes trotting against the hard wood floors.

“Omi,” you call wondering why he hasn’t spoken yet “Is everything okay?”

“Umm yes I-it's fine...it just I-” he says pausing

“Just what?”

“I don’t really know how to say this Y/N, I don’t really know how to say it’s just-” he says again pausing himself taking a deep breath.

“Just what Omi? Don’t tell me you’ve got cold feet love,” you say laughing at the thought of it, but your laughter ceased when you don’t hear the ‘Of course I don’t have cold feet Y/N’ that you were expecting.

“Omi?” you asked again, hoping he had he was still going to give you the response you wanted.

“Omi..” you repeated.

“Omi!” you say finally, now exiting the room (with your wedding dress on) to see why your fiance was not responding.

To your shock, Omi was sitting down on a couch with his face in his hands with soft sobs coming from his mouth and runny tears and snot coming from his eyes and nose. “Omi whats wrong?” you say loudly, alerting him,

“Y/N you look beautiful!” he says sniffling.

“Omi you were meant to say that at the alter, but now that your crying forget about the dress... what’s wrong?” you say sitting down next to him.

“I don’t know how to say this...” he starts, looking away from you

“Say what? Omi look at me...” you say feeling anxious

“We...We can’t get married today,” he says still with his eyes off you.

“What do you mean, we can’t get married.” you ask but you get no answer,

“Omi answer me,”

“Say something please!” you say turning his body so that he’s facing you, his eyes are all puffy and bloodshot from the crying and now tears are filling yours “What do you mean Omi,”

“Remember Ex’s name?” he says confusing you cause what did she have to do with anything.

“Yes I remember her, I remember vividly being the girl you cheated on her with after you claimed you were ‘breaking up with her’ so I had to tell her.” you scoff “so yes, I definitely remember Y/N, what about her?”

“We recently umm how can I say this,” he says struggling for words “reconnected... and I do truly miss her and she’s made me rethink some things, see some things...”

“And those things are?”

“I’ve always loved her, she’s always been my one. The one.” he says smiling a bit at the thought of her making you feel sick.

“But Omi what about us? What about the wedding that’s going to happen in less than an hour?”

“Im sorry Y/N I’ll tell everyone what has happened.”

“I don’t want you to do that, I want you to marry me.” you say desparetly “please Omi, why her? Why now..”

“It’s always been her, and you’ve known that.” he says standing up “The day you told her about our ONE NIGHT stand, was the day that I thought I couldn’t live on, but when you came and accepted the pathetic mess I was, I gladly dated you since I had nothing else to loose...but its been 4 years since then I'm a changed man and EX NAME is a changed girl, a forgiving girl and the spark we had wasn’t lost I guess...and Im happy now”

“But what about me?” you say crying “What about me? And my happiness, don’t I deserve that? Don’t I deserve to finally be happy.”

“Y/N, you do deserve to be happy. But not with me, not at the stake of my own happiness, I wont allow it.”

“Omi bu-”

“God Y/N, don’t be so desperate!” he said agressively “Im sorry for stopping the wedding, I know your parents have put in alot of money in it and I will certainly pay them back... in due time of course.”

“You’re sorry for stopping the wedding?” you say angrily “Not sorry for stopping this relationship. Stopping the longlasting feelings ive felt for you since the day I met you?”

“Cut the crap Y/N, all we did was have one night stand.” he says rolling his eyes and unbuttoning his top botton of his shirt and loosening his tie I dont know why but this Is what guys do when theyre mad in the movies.

“Your such a liar Omi, you used to come into my work place everyday flirting with me talking about how much you wanted me, PINING AFTER ME, making me fall in love with you and not even telling me you had a girlfriend at the time.” you yell “and you summarise that all to me falling in love with you after one measly one night stand.”

“I don’t want to do this Y/N,” he says heading to the door “We’re finished. No more wedding. No marriage. And definitely don’t contact me after this. We’re through.” he slams the door behind him, leaving you alone and jilted in your wedding dress.

You get why he broke it off with you, and technically you do play a small part to blame. You were the one that told his girlfriend that you slept with him and then dated him afterwards, so I guess ‘how you get them, is how you lose them’ definitely works in this case.

Bokuto

The bokuto and L/N wedding was going to be a joyous occasion. Your soon to be husband told everybody he saw that he were to be wed with you, he couldn’t contain his excitement.

“Bokuto calm down, we’ll be married soon.” was what you always said, whenever he started his rambles to which he always replied “I know Y/N, I cant wait.”

When it came to your grand day, you were excited from the moment you woke up you were buzzing, wondering if Bokuto was feeling even a half of the feelings that you felt.

You looked beautiful in your dress, anticipating the look on Bokuto’s face when he sees you at that alter. Your wedding party was already at the hotel you were getting married at whilst Bokuto’s got ready at the houe and decided to drive there.

So after you got ready, all you had to do is wait for Kuroo, one of Bokuto’s best men, to tell you when it’s time for you to walk down the aisle.

You were impatient, your leg was shaking now you knew how Bokuto felt when he rambled on how excited he was for you to become Bokuto Y/N. You finally heard a knock on the door and you dashed to open it,

“Kuroo, thank god you’re here!” you exclaim giving him a hug “I’ve been waiting ages for you, lets go! Take me to my future husband.” You pull his arm practically trying to run and see your man before Kuroo pulls your arm halting you.

“Y/N...” he says shifting his eye sight from left to right “I think we should sit down for a minute.”

“Why? Is he not here yet, gosh he’s always been late to things” you joke “but fine we can sit for a minute or two.”

As you sat, Kuroo turns his body to you putting his hands on your knees with his eyes looking sad “Y/N. I don’t know how to say this but...” he gulps putting his head down “there’s been an accident.”

“Accident? What do you mean accident? What happened? Is everyone okay.” you ask a bit frantically, since it would sad for someone to be hurt on your wedding day.

“That’s the thing Y/N, Bokuto he..”

“Bokuto what? He’s okay.. Right?” you ask staring at Kuroo “He’s fine right?”

“No he isnt,” he says

“What do you mean he isn’t what happened, where is he? I need to see him.” you say getting up before Kuroo pulls you back down.

“He isn’t anywhere... well anywhere for you to see him. There weren’t enough cars for us, well there were but one of them the engine wasn’t starting and it sound a bit dodgy. But Bokuto said, he insisted for us all to be there. I even offered to let him take my spot in the other cars, I did Y/N I really did, but he promised us that he’d be fine. He left a bit before he did, saying that if he had chance to wander around the hotel it may calm his nerves. But when we were driving, we saw this car all mangled up on the side of the road, it was his. I told him not to drive that car, I told him and he did and I-” he rambled with tears pooling in his eyes “Im sorry Y/N im really sorry.”

“But why why didn’t you call?”

“He told us not too, he said that he wanted you be to as happy as you could be on this day as he knew it wouldn’t end with you becoming his wife.”

“But the ambulance, you called an ambulance right?”

“He was D.O.A, Akaashi went with him since he knew that he probably wouldn’t be able to deliver the news to you.”

“Why? Why did he leave me? On our wedding day, it was supposed to be our day and now hes gone Kuroo hes gone.” you wail, but kuroo wraps his arms around you in a brotherly hug as he cries too.

That’s how you spend your wedding night, crying in your friends arms over the loss of your ‘husband’ and his ‘brother.’

Bokuto’s funeral was the week after, and it was not an event you were excited for. It was a hard day to get through, but you did it with the help of Kuroo and Akaashi. You visit Bokuto every year on your wedding anniversary talking to your husband even though it always reminds you of the day that never came to be.

This is the wedding angst that is a gift from me to you sweetheart @teesumu you can totally block me after this cause girll I cried whilst writing it.

If you want a nice ending to the bokuto story to make you feel better read this

General taglist [bold can’t be tagged]: @sakuxxi, @iimoonii, @hamdehlesmis, @Shoyosupremacy, @iambashfulperson, @kayleighbeccaa, @dearkousei, @bakugouswh0r3, @xedspirits @borpcorp, @soft-angel-clouds, @foxxtrot-116 @Xogiaaa, @jesssobs, @apple-poptarts @galagcica @letssssus, @random-734, [join the taglist here]

#signedwithane😌#haikyu angst #haikyu headcanons #haikyu scenarios #haikyu #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto angst #bokuto scenarios #sakusa angst #sakusa x reader #sakusa scenarios

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technowoah · 3 years

Note

if you're taking asks for the prompts, can you do 11 and 17 from the angst list with george but have a fluffy ending? she/her pronouns pls

I Can Make It Right

SHSJS I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST IN MY INBOX YALL!

Thanks for the request babe! The way it came out was gender neutral i dont think I user she/her, but it still works trust me!

George x reader imagine (established)

11) "It's not important apparently"

17) "You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off"

⚠︎ angst with happy ending, unresolved issue but they're gonna fix it dont worry 😌, angry George, swearing

*** = flashback

Masterlist

You had stood infront of your bathroom mirror finishing up your makeup for the night. Your hair was already done and you had a nice outfit on, not to fancy and not too comfortable. While listening to a playlist George had made for you, you had put down the brushes you were using. It didnt really matter if you cleaned up your makeup that was littered all over the sink right now, but right now you were feeling good.

Today was your and George's 3rd year anniversary and you couldn't be happier about it. Today you two were going to dinner and doing something else which was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was a night on the town.

George and you met 4 years ago actually. You two started out as acquaintances, the slowly grew into friends and then one day he asked you to join him to dinner. At first you were oblivious to his actions, thinking he was just being a good friend, but turns out the more dates you two went on the more you caught on. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend 3 years ago today.

His friends keep on pressuring George to propose already, they think it's been long enough. The only thing close to marriage is a promise ring. He put the ring on your finger as a promise that one day he would marry you, everytime you doubt that he will propose you turn your attention to the cute ring on your finger.

You had turned off the bedroom lights and sat on your bed finally relaxing after struggling to find a decent enough outfit for tonight. George said that he was going to pick you up around 6:00 and now it is 5:47 so you had some time to spare.

You had found yourself scrolling through tiktok because you had nothing else better to do at this moment. It was a guilty pleasure of yours even though you and george both joked around about hating tiktok.

Time began to tick away so you had checked the clock on your phone which said 5:57 pm. You had grabbed shoes that you set up against your bed, slipped them on and grabbed all of your belongings for the night. You stationed yourself in the living room waiting till George came to the door.

Nervousness always came up before a date, it was the anticipation actually. You were excited and nervous about the date as you always were, but today for you was special. It was three years worth of beautiful love. You remembered the time he first said I love you too, it was just like it was yesterday.

***

"Hey y/n." George looked towards you. You both were sitting on a plaid, plush blanket with a brown woven basket ontop in between you two. It was just like the movies and that why you cringed because of how cheesy it was when George led you to it.

It was sweet, it was extremely sweet and you loved these dates that George always brung you too. You always felt special when you are sitting next to him.

You responded to George. "Yeah Gogy?" You laughed at the use of his nickname.

"Im trying to be serious right now and you call me Gogy." George smiled and shook his head. "Anyways, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do-"

"No I love you. I mean. I'm in love with you." George reached to rest his hand ontop of yours and repeated himself. "I'm in live with you y/n."

You wasted no time answering. "Im in love with you too."

***

6:03

George didnt show up yet, but there was no sweat. He was only 3 minutes late, maybe he ran into traffick. Your stomach was rumbling, but you didnt want to eat yet since you two we're planning to go to dinner. Patience is key, and it wasnt like he wasn't late before.

6:10

You started to get worried, it's been 10 minutes and still no sign of your boyfriend. You had gotton up several times to check outside of your door only to be met with no one. Your mind was jumping to conclusions about if he forgot your anniversary, but you shut those thoughts out for the time being.

6:19

Okay this is getting out of hand. You brung out our phone and began to text George, you couldn't believe that you had waited this long before texting the man.

Where are you? Ive been waiting for 29 minutes?!

[Sent: 6:20pm]

George what are you doing?

[Sent: 6:20pm]

You awaited his text message with your phone faced up on the coffee table infront of you. You didn't want to believe that George woukd forget, or overslept, but that was becoming truth the more minutes passed by with no call or text.

6:30

Calling him was useless, because he didn't answer. He didn't hang up on you he just wasn't picking up the phone, like he turned it off. You started to get worried if something happened to him, if he was in a situation where he couldn't call or text you. You wondered if he was safe at home and not out in the middle of the street.

In a flash all your worries subsided when your phone lit up with a notification.

ThisIsNotGeorgeNotFound is live:

Im Playing golf with my friends

That son of a bitch. Pissed off was an understatement, you were fuming. How could he end up streaming at home when you had constantly reminded him about this day, he knew damn well about this day too. How could he?

You ended up grabbing a jacket and your purse and ended up driving to George's place. It seemed like he was mocking you in a way, he knew you had notifications on for Twitch. You loved to support him and his career, but this was making a fool out of yourself.

Your hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as you tried not to run every red light you cane across. You finally came across George's home, you found a place to park and quickly got out of your car and sped walked your way to George's residence. Finally making up to George's door you knocked harshly on the door probably making more noise than what you intended too. You continuously banged on his door until you got fed up.

Remembering that George had given you a key to his house you dig through your purse to get your set of keys out anr unlock his door. You stomped inside his house and closed the door behind you.

"GEORGE! GEORGE!" You yelled through the house. You were being reckless and annoying, but you didnt care at this point you were fuming and needed to tell George how you feel.

You had made your way to George's recording room where he was talking to his friends on discord. George looked towards you in shock clearly not hearing the sounds you were making throughout his house.

"Y/N?!" George yelled and muted his microphone.

"What the hell are you doing?" You exclaimed back.

"Im streaming thats what Im doing!" George sassed back at you, not paying attention to his screen and the chat.

"Dont get smart with me. End the stream."

"What?! No!"

"You heard me, we need to talk." You crossed your arms across your chest. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking and you tried to calm yourself down, but George's comments were getting to you.

George was about to unmute himself and get back to the game. "No we dont-"

"GEORGE END THE FUCKING STREAM! This is embarrassing! Talk to me cause you have some explaining to do." You snapped at him.

A silence tell upon you two and he glared at you before turning to his stream and closing it out.

"Okay guys! Go watch the other boys streams I need to go now! Bye!" George quickly ended and turned off everything.

He turned around to you still sitting in his chair. "What? What do you want?"

"Do you know what today is?" You asked.

"April 30th." George answered bluntly.

"Thats all you have to say?" You asked in shock. "It's our anniversary dickhead!"

"I fucking know that." George said.

"You do? So why did you start streaming and we had dinner plans?!"

"I told you we were streaming! You weren't listening to me!" George stood up from his chair when he said that.

"When the fuck did you tell me this?!"

"A couple days ago! You didn't listen!"

"But you knew that was our anniversary! And we made dinnerr plans-"

George yelled over you. "A month ago! We made those plans a month ago so excuse me for forgetting!"

"So all these other years you remembered our anniversary and went out of your fucking way to cancel other plans around that date, but today you didnt because why?!" Tears were threatening to fall down you cheeks, but you wouldnt let him see you like that.

"Because I planned this already with the boys! And AGAIN you werent listening to me when I said that-"

"There were several other times that you could've told me too! But you didn't!" You sniffed trying to keep the frustrated tears inside.

"I already planned this and I cant go back on my promise-"

"But you can with me?!" You yelled and George stopped talking. He's just studying your face at this point and you hated this silence.

"Its not important apparently." You said while walking out of the recording room.

"You're being a bitch." He mumbled.

"Excuse me?! That is so disrespectful!" You spun around yelled at him.

"You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off." George said in a annoying tone.

"Yeah you should feel like shit! I feel like shit too so-!" You threw your hands up in exasperation and stormed out the room. You had made it to the door before George called out to you again.

"Y/n! Y/n! Please!"

"No! Just..." You paused before opening the door and ushering your way out. "Call me when you get your shit together.

You were currently curled up on your couch eating leftovers that you had in the refrigerator. That had satisfied your hunger for the night because the dinner was canceled that night. Your anger and sadness had subsided and you were only left with an unusual feeling in your heart. Your relationship felt incomplete, this fight felt incomplete. You didnt break up with him, but you were waiting for closure.

The TV was the only light in the room. It illuminated what it wanted to, you didnt care if it was too dark. Usually you would be cuddled up with George at this ungoldy hour, but you weren't and that made you tear up.

Your sadness was still there, your anger towards George turned into pity. You were sad about the actions he took, but somewhere in your heart you could forgive him. You could forgive and move on if he would come to you.

Speaking of, you had a knock on your door. You didn't have the strength to get up, but you did. Shuffling your way to the door you sluggishly opened it to find George standing there with his hands in his hoodie. The person you wanted to see, but at the same time you wanted to slam that door in his face.

"Hey." George spoke and you gave him a small smile, nothing more.

You turned around to find your seat back on the couch where you were comfortable, but also giving him a silent invitation to come inside. You had sat down on the couch not paying attention to George, but you knew he closed the door, took off his shoes by yours, and put his keys on the table by the door like he always did. It was like a routine to him.

George ended up awkwardly standing beside the couch as you ignored him.

"You know, if you didnt open the door I would've used my keys like you did." George tried to spark up a conversation, but you only hummed in response. You were scared that if you spoke, you would cry.

George ended up making his way to the couch sitting beside you and pulling you into his embrace. Your head was on his chest and you began to sob. You missed this it's only been a few hours, but you had felt that in those few hours you had lost everything. You continued to sob into his hoodie as he rubbed your back and shushed you, whispering sweet nothings into the air only for you to hear.

"Im here, and Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry that I did this to you and I only hope that you can forgive me." George said, his voice cracking a little when he said that. You kept crying.

That's what you wanted to hear all along, that's what you needed. You could forgive him in due time, you always will because you love him, you will always love him. You both can always make it right.

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