#young man with bird

[morhido]

pov you're caleb wittebane stumbling upon the mysterious woman in the woods with whom you've had several unorthodox interactions with in weeks past until you finally ask her why she always wears a hood and she says "okay but if you scream i'm gonna steal your vocal chords" which sends you into such a state of shock that you can only gawk as she reveals her inhumanly pointed ears and wild ungodly hair from which she pulls a dormant cardinal and offers it out to you like it's the most normal thing in the world. also her name is evelyn but apparently you can call her evie

#dana described evelyn giving caleb flapjack as her just going ''you seem like a reasonable young man; you want this bird?'' #and i grabbed my stylus as fast as humanly fucking possible #i'm still giggling over it it's such a funny sentence #toh #the owl house #toh evelyn #evelyn clawthorne #toh caleb #caleb wittebane #witteclaw #morhiarty

[see-arcane]

Jonathan Harker: The ‘Absolute Love Corrupts Absolutely’ Villain That Almost Was*

*LONG before Francis Ford Coppola’s Cinematic Gary Oldman Fanfiction

Spoilers ahead for the Dracula Daily enjoyers, because I’m whipping out all my literary receipts on this.

I recently finished speed-rereading Dracula because I have no self-control. In doing so, I got a refresher on quite a few incendiary factors of the book that time had dulled in my memory.

1.     There’s a TON of ‘I’m not like other girls!’ and ‘men good, women dainty,’ and ‘What no I’m not projecting, honest, I just really like the words manful, voluptuous, manful, aquiline, manful, God, and manful again. –Bramothy Stoker,’ so brace for that from basically the whole cast. I’m blaming it partly on Bram Flakes’ own prejudices, of which there are plenty, and the fact that he’d clearly never met a thesaurus in his life.

(I appreciate everyone’s mental revamp of Mina as the New Woman to Lucy’s Classic Damsel, but…oof. Everyone’s in for a harsh Period/Stoker Accurate reminder.)

2.     Brammy Pajamas was either hanging around some exceptionally devout Christians to write some of the second/third act scenes with everyone basically thrashing and wailing and falling on their knees and clasping/kissing hands as they pray to/thank God, all while thinking it was perfectly natural behavior for these characters…or he legit had no clue how any kind of ordinary human being, Christian or otherwise, would react to the situations he puts them in.

(Seriously, it’s not even that everyone’s devout, it’s that they’re all written to act like they’re in a soap opera where the only direction they got was to be as hammy and histrionic as physically possible. You’ll know the scenes when you see them.)

3.     Jonathan Harker has not only been done dirty by every adaptation since the book in terms of being a main character, along with being the character to spend the most time with Dracula in close quarters, period, and being the love interest for Mina—his whole character arc by the second half of the book is the most blazing hot, “If my beloved is destined for damnation, I’m heading to Hell with her, fuck all else,” shit I have ever read in classic literature, full stop.

Not Dracula. Not any character based on Dracula.

Jonathan fucking Harker is the OG archetype for Love Corrupts (Violently), and the canon story avoided him going full tragic villain by t h i s much. You want proof? Let’s go.

NOTE: MAIN SPOILERS STRAIGHT FROM THE BOOK, SHIELD YOUR EYES

Here’s the part most Harker fans scream over, myself included:

“To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks.”

Good shit, good shit! Jonathan was already prepared to risk falling to his death from a cliff or being eaten by wolves rather than stay in Castle Dracula for a bloodthirsty eternity with the ladies. But now? Mina is quite literally his, “You are worth Hell,” Beloved. But there’s more. Fast forward to one of Team Fuck-Up-That-Old-Undead-Man’s first head-on encounters with the Count. As they’re waiting, Jonathan gets impatient, declaring:

“I care for nothing now,” he answered hotly, “except to wipe out this brute from the face of creation. I would sell my own soul to do it!”

He says as much in front of his Christian+ buddies who, by now, had pretty fair reasons to believe in the legitimacy of Hell and all its demons. Van Helsing is definitely startled and seemingly talks him down from such an oath. Key word being seemingly. Because we jump forward again to a point where Mina, in full saintly forgiveness mode (and apparently selectively forgetting Van Helsing’s history lesson about Dracula’s pre-vampire days being ones of a slaughtering tyrant), saying that if/when they destroy the Count, oh, how happy his soul will be to be free of his torment on Earth, et cetera. Jonathan Harker has a rebuttal to share. Namely:

“May God give him into my hand just for long enough to destroy that earthly life of him which we are aiming at. If beyond that I could send his soul forever and ever to burning hell I would do it!”

God forgives. Jonathan Harker emphatically does not.

Onward again, and he speaks volumes by what he does not say. Chiefly, there’s a point where Mina, now in full martyr preparation should the worst happen, makes the boys swear an oath to destroy her body if/when she succumbs and dies to Dracula’s vampiric poisoning so she cannot rise again as one of his ladies. The boys swear. Mostly. What we get from Jonathan is…

“And must I, too, make such a promise, oh, my wife?”

“You too, my dearest.” (Note: The rest of her paragraph here is full of the most knife-twisting, utterly warped martyr ‘pep talk’ I’ve ever read, and I have no idea how she/Bramarama thought it would remotely convince Jonathan this was all a reasonable and chill thing she was talking about. Anyway.)

It’s important to note that absolutely nowhere in the ensuing text does Jonathan ever speak the promise out loud. He does read the goddamn Burial Service at Mina’s request, which he barely chokes his way through. But he never makes the oath.

Another jump ahead. They are on the hunt for Dracula and, alas, have just missed him at a key point. Most of the gang are shaking their fists at the sky, cursing up and down. And what is Jonathan doing? Well, to quote Jack Seward, just before the epiphany…

“We men were all in a fever of excitement, except Harker, who is calm; his hands are as cold as ice, and an hour ago I found him whetting the edge of the great Ghoorka knife which he now always carries with him. It will be a bad look-out for the Count if the edge of that ‘Kukri’ ever touches his throat, driven by that stern, ice-cold hand!”

And upon discovery of the Count slipping them…

“Harker smiled—actually smiled—the dark bitter smile of one who is without hope; but at the same time his action belied his words, for his hands instinctively sought the hilt of the great Kukri knife and rested there.”

For context, by this point Jonathan had already come at Dracula with said Kukri knife a while back, having nearly landed the blow after charging out of the pack and nearly fucking gutting the Count. For extra context, this is a Kukri knife:

He’s just been walking around with that. For half the book. Plotting.

And, with all of this in mind, we can only assume Jonathan had two plans of action in mind.

Plan A, follow Van Helsing’s lead.

…Not counting the moment he almost bit the Professor’s head off for saying he had to bring Mina along with him to Castle Dracula. Another good scene which includes his very succinct reaction to Van Helsing’s suggestion, even if he does have to agree in the end:

“Not for the world! Not for Heaven or Hell!”

Anyway. If the plan works out, cool. He gets to kill Dracula, Mina is saved. Best case scenario!

But then there’s the unspoken, explicitly unwritten (in case his pages need to be read), but heavily foreshadowed Plan B. They cannot destroy the Count, in time or otherwise. Mina is now either a corpse waiting to awake as a vampire, or a vampire already. The others, true to their vow, mean to destroy her.

Jonathan Harker, true only to Mina, in whatever form she may take, still has that Kukri. And the element of surprise. And a full acknowledgment of the realities of Heaven, Hell, and his holding Mina’s continued existence above them, his friends, his sanity, his humanity, and himself.

In short, all your tragically romantic Draculas can kindly go fuck themselves with a wooden stake. Jonathan Harker is the first and best gothic horror example of a person in love to the point of madness, damnation, and willingness to deceive or destroy anyone who would endanger the one he loves. The only reason we never got to see it in action was because Stoker had to tack on a happy ending. If he hadn’t?

The census would be less four unsuspecting heroes and plus two newlywed vampires.

The End.

Suck on it, Francis.

#Jonathan Harker is a good boy a lovely young man and he Can and Will Kill for His Wife :) :) :) #seriously there's a whole other essay to go with how gloriously fucked up-passionate this stance is within both the time it was written #and the novel itself which is SATURATED with God Christ and more God #for this fucker to have gone through what he did in the castle on top of all the very clear proofs of divine VS infernal goings-on #this dude is flipping the bird to all of it #the whole mess (be it of God or the Devil or fucking Dracula) #none of it ranks higher than Mina in his mind #my guy is fucked up and I love him #jonathan harker #dracula #mina murray #mina harker #dracula daily #spoilers

[possiblytracker]

courtesy of the enablers in my notes, here is my Flamingo Wisdom gained from the catch today

first of all, a flamingo separated from its flock (as it has to be when you are moving that beast around) is kind of like a horse, in that it will freak the fuck out if a leaf so much as moves in the corner of its eye, and it really really really wants to break its stupid twig legs by any means necessary. and you really cannot let them do this, because they will probably die, but they are stronger than they look and despite their insane 70+yrs captive lifespan they appear pretty fucking determined to spectacularly remove themselves from this mortal coil. if they cannot kill themselves, they will simply attempt to kill something else; if you do not personally clamp their beaks shut using your entire hand they will reach around with their long stupid tube necks and start swinging without hesitation. they bite, and will rip out hair and earrings and whatever else in reach they can get their fucked up beaks on. several of the flamingos were covered in visible blood stains of unknown origin before even picking them up, and half the day was spent wondering if one had been attacked and was doing all this bleeding, but as far as i know nobody ended up finding any which left way more questions than answers

to transport a flamingo is a two-person effort, because they are so long and so desperate to fuck up themselves or whoever is around them that you need at least two sets of hands to pull it off safely. one person holds the flamingo facing backwards tucked under one arm kind of like a set of bagpipes. with the other arm you have to hold both legs apart, because if they are allowed to lash out you get fun accidents like "vet tech pummeled in the balls with full force of both flamingo feet at once, advised to leave premises". you have to hold the legs facing downwards, otherwise the circulation gets cut off, as they are physically incapable of pumping their own blood down there without the effects of gravity. the resulting effect looks kind of like you are holding a guitar wrong, or slow-dancing in a really fucked up way. it is also objectively impossible to place your hands on the bird in a way that you will not get pissed on.

the second person has to stand just behind the first and supervises the head, holding its beak shut as shown and supporting the neck in a comfortable position. some flamingos do not Have a comfortable position and will just spend the entire time wriggling and trying to bite you, which you just kind of have to deal with. you also get direct eye contact with the beast at all times, which is. interesting and unnerving

the only people handling them solo were the vet in charge of weighing the animals, the guy sticking them into the back of a van, and my boss, who stood in the corral chasing groups of them into a smaller pen for catching. every time a pair came to collect their next bird he would open the door to the pen, head in alone, you'd briefly hear the most fucked up cartoon fistfight-esque noises from inside, and about thirty seconds later he would reappear with an entire flamingo tucked casually under one arm like a football and just hand it to you. most baffling part of the entire experience, i think

despite the turbulence however they did make it safely to their new home :)

#THIS IS NOT 100% ACCURATE SOME DETAILS ARE SLIGHTLY EMBELLISHED FOR FUNNY PURPOSES. IF ANYONE AT WORK SEES THIS DONT FIRE ME #i am only Barely exaggerating though like im not Lying #only learning the most vital skills for my resume at my work experience volunteering job. at the Duck Zoo. flamingo holder #most fucked up birds ive ever been up close to i am fascinated and appalled. #the first image is a rambunctious young man (born 2017) the second image is a senior citizen (caught as an adult bird in 1961) #LIKE. some of these birds have been here since the sixties when it was still legal for a guy to just Take Birds from places #isnt that insane. its insane to me #anyway that it thats the post #tw unsanitary #ask to tag

[aggressiveguitarnoises]

what is up with this man and peculiar photoshoots

#THE BIRD? #THE LADDER IN THE POOL? #pov this handsome young man pulls up on his step ladder as ure swimming in the pool to flirt with u over a drink. what do u do #WHAT IS THIS PLEASE #AND WHY DO I LOVE IT #he slays them all tbh #found these on pinterest quality is shit #hugh dancy #shitpost

[localguy2]

Wait my brain came up with more random bullshit, what if Kai got overly attached to Zane's falcon after season 3?

Like he essentially clings onto to it sometimes cuz it's one of the last physical things related to his brother, and he knows how much Zane loved the falcon, so he'd keep it safe (& company) because he knows it's what Zane would've wanted as maybe one of his last wishes

And the falcon in return being most comfortable with Kai out of anyone on the team post S3 because Kai cared for it like Zane used to

#Fuck I love that idea so much now #Sad birb and depressed teenager (or young adult) who both lost someone very dear to them #Nya walks in on Kai just talking the bird #And the bird's replies somehow make sense to Kai #Sorta like how Zane perfectly understood the falcon #Man the potential is great #ninjago #kai smith #zane's falcom #zane julien

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

Spot the difference

#oh wait you can’t #hahahahaha #is that wilmon cosplaying as those birds or those birds cosplaying as wilmon? you decide. #this is my artistic contribution to the fandom #unless y’all wanna see my stick figures (minimalism) #i love those birds #and my sons #man that is some dark lighting for wilmon. s3 kisses in the light? like those birds? #it will happen :) #young royals #wilmon #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #their first kiss was so sweet #theeeeem. 💜💜 #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #what kind of show would we get if they hated each other #glad i don’t have to find out #electric chemistry #and i don’t just mean those birds #🎭💜🎶

[lucky38s]

why do people on this website hate old people so bad!!! 26 years old is not old!!! back in my day i was 19 and thirsting after people 40+ and usually more like 50+!!! learn to wanna fuck ACTUAL old people or perish!!!!

#if they can’t get the early bird special is it even worth it?! #if that man doesn’t need to take ibuprofen before sex and his knees don’t crack #I don’t wanna hear how you wanna be his controversially young gf #get well soon xx #riot talks

[i-may-be-an-emu]

On my little trip so far I have seen:

Rainbow pride flag

rainbow painted across the bottom of two post boxes (next to each other)

⚧️ this symbol on a homemade sticker in a public bathroom

the same symbol on another sticker on a street sign but this one seemed to be printed

[edit: the second sticker was also homemade]

numerous posters with rainbow banners or rainbow love hearts talking about inclusivity and saying stuff along the lines of “you’re welcome and safe here” (i see these a lot where I live too but it’s nice to see them where I am traveling)

I hope I see more stuff like this :)

#Love to feel seen and welcome on the other side of the country #and I got called young man the other day but that was back home #made me feel very strong and happy though #lgbtq #transgender #also I made friends with a couple of birds and got right up close to them and even gently pet one #(And by pet I mean lightly brushing its feathers with the tips of my fingers slightly for a second)

[finch-kid]

how have i been allowed to sleep on olivia's music for this long

#honestly i think her recent work is rlly interesting pop #i mean she's not janelle monae but she's a promising young pop artist #i can't wait to see how her art matures as time passes #olivia rodrigo #the bird man cant shut up #Spotify

[sameteeth]

DUDE. THE WAY JIM HAWKINS VIEWS SILVER THRU TREASURE ISLAND VS THE WAY SILVER HAS THIS UNENDING FONDNESS FOR JIM

#idk its like. silveris the monster jim dreams of. but silver sees jim as naive to society maybe. someone who might be on his side bc hes not #yet been too poisoned by society to hate silver completely #or. theres no kids on nassau. at most we see young boys who run messages for eleanor who look 10-12 #(if memory serves me). and silver sees jim and recognizes this is no place for a child. one who still has a chance to escape #hmmmmmm. idk i think thr way youth is portrayed (with RLS's writing) is super interesting bc jim is narrating the story at least a few #months if not years removed from the actual events i froget the timeline exactly #but silver holds like a genuine fondness for jim or at least i think so - or he sees jim as easily manipulatable as a kid #but we only see silver thru jims eyes - jim who is intially drawn in by this one legged man and his stories and his bird #and upon realizing silver is just another pirate turns on him. calls him a monster and treats him like hes subhuman. #idk its just so. INTERESTING #black island treasure sails #<- blacksails/treasure island tag i suppose

[peppermintschnapps]

One of our customers brought their pet galah into the store today (a galah is a pink & grey australian parrot.) He is FIFTY FIVE YEARS OLD and his name is Danny and he loves head scratches 😭😭😭

#birds #shutup kristina #he's such a lovely young man 🥲🥲

[featheredadora]

Can't believe that Zelda has been with us for 3 years!

#I love her so much man this photo is when she was young #my birds #conure #crimson bellied conure #birblr #birb #photos #Zelda

[skrunksthatwunk]

yesterday i was talking with my friend who reads a lotta kindle unlimited het romance novels (ok girl live your truth) and apparently the sports romance market is like 80% about hockey players and she was like "I wonder why that is" and i, a little too fast and a little too loud, went

oh it's the violence for sure

and then had to pretend that was a conclusion i came to from a place of cold impersonal logic and worldly wisdom and not literally anything having to do with me as a person

#like. i still think im right but way to trip and show my hand yknow #straight girls can get a little hockey-man blood smeared on the protective glass as a treat #sorry guys but im an rgg fan!! vaguely to distinctly eroticized violence is like 70% of the fan AND canon content out there #you learn to see it and cheer it on like a young bird in flight #but also i was like that looong before i was into rgg lmao #no omg wait the other day i offered to fistfight my buddy bc he was losin it a bit and i thought it'd help #and then i had to backpedal bc i remembered im saving putting these dukes up for marriage so to speak #also important to know that i didnt even let novel girl finish her sentence like. get it together #also also we were talking pretty loudly already but i was facing out towards the class (thus projecting my voice) #which means i got the distinct pleasure of watching people turn around to glance at me as i tried to explain my thought process past #'unga bunga fighting hot' #which i failed to do of course #not as cripplingly embarrassing as one might think for some reason. i think it's because im right #not a revolutionary take ofc but the kneejerk nature of it was a bit too suspicious for my tastes #funny though #just realized this post implies i am a luster-afterer of hockey players and thats not true. but they do beat the shit outta each other #and THATS the good shit

[scriptmyworld]

it’s all fun and games until grandfather comes to scare the shit out of you

#the instant ‘OH NOOOOOO’ #this man actually does scare the shit out of me #he said ‘some birds eat their young’ and I have never been the same #chirp critting just to hide from him #same girl #a court of fey and flowers #acofaf spoilers #lords of the wing #lady chirp featherfowl #lord squak airavis #slutty bird cousins

[bread-bird-writes]

I am caught up on fic comments and my inbox is empty for the first time in FOUR MONTHS. I spent an HOUR AND A HALF going through comments and I am VERY PROUD OF MYSELF but that is IMMEDIATELY OVERSHADOWED BY THE FACT THAT OH FUCK I HAVE AN ESSAY DUE MONDAY

#look man you'd think that as a fanfic writer I'd be more into a class called 'young adult literature' #but I'm not #it would appear that I just Simply Do Not Care #Oh and for clarification: college essay. for a college class. I don't put my age in my bio cause I don't think anyone is entitled to that- #-information and I don't want my IRLs to align my age to my account if they find my blog #but I am not a minor! #when birds speak

[bird-likes-to-fandom]

I'm still so upset about bray.

#I usually don't get upset abt celebrity deaths but this one is affecting me for some reason #I think it's because he was so young and has such a young family. Also because of the talent and vision we lost #He never got to finish his stories in and out of the ring #And we never got to see them or see him make another grand return #I know that's what death does but. Man #Im really going to miss my little brother lighting up at something as simple as lights flashing because he thinks it's bray teasing a retur #wwe #bray wyatt #death #Death mention #Rest in peace Windham. I hope you're in a better place #If any of my mutual or followers who have no idea what I'm talking about made it this far - go watch some videos or read some articles #on his career #Because it was so fucking cool #bird likes to chirp