#< kind of related

[dimensionzero]

was a little baffled as to why adrien is less careful about using cataclysm on people now after being so horrified when he accidentally hit monarch but like... as far as he knows, it's been weeks and monarch is still kicking. iirc the only time he's seen monarch since was in deflagration and he seemed just fine then, so adrien really doesn't have any reason to think it's not a survivable injury that just hurts like a bitch

#he doesnt want to KILL people but chat noir beats the shit out of people all the time #since he now thinks cataclysm isnt a one hit kill theres no reason NOT to use it against people hes especially pissed off at #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #chat noir #ml derision #< kind of related #also i heard someone point out that being a touch more violent as CN fits with the anger/irritability/impulsivity symptoms of depression #and i am All About That. marinette gets to show the ugly side of anxiety so let my boy have some less palatable symptoms too!!

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[writeouswriter]

[ID: A “This Barbie is” generated movie poster with a photo of a hand pointing directly toward you and the caption edited to read “This Barbie is not working on their WIPs.” End ID]

#barbie #barbie movie #writing #writeblr #meme #writing humour #writing meme #relatable #funny #writing humor #writer things #artist things #(as well) #the WIPS can be all kinds of things

[bethanydelleman]

I'm really tired of the "woman sad about her arranged marriage" trope, especially if that woman is royalty.

I am sure that many women across time were sad about their arranged marriages, but I'm sure a lot of others were excited, ambivalent, or resigned. Again, especially if you were royalty! I am sure if you were born a princess, you were trained from birth that your whole purpose in life was to marry someone important to solidify the power of the person on the throne. And honestly, it's an important job, if it wasn't, they wouldn't have tried so hard to do it.

That woman isn't just marrying another king or prince, she's going to be an ambassador of her country. She's supposed to be there promoting good relations. She isn't just a woman being sold off, she has a job! Also, if she is marrying the reigning monarch (or the heir), she may well end up running the country if the king is off at war or he dies when the heir is really young. That happened a lot throughout history! (or maybe she marries the third son and helps him find his way to the throne. Good for her)

It just feels like a modern sentiment being projected back. In Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet's mother first brings up marrying her to Paris, Juliet's basically cool with it and says she'll try to like him. She would have known this was going to happen because that is what rich women do, they marry into another family so their two families can be buddies. What else would she even be expecting?

It wouldn't bother me so much except that it's all we see! Give me a story about a woman who is like, "Cool, I shall give it my all!" Or she's like rolling up her sleeves and planning how she's going to get the court on her side and rule France, power behind the throne style (these women are mostly portrayed as villains, but who is to say the king would do a better job?). And also, have a little faith in women's fathers? You think men in the past didn't occasionally consider the happiness of their daughters? Not even a little bit?

#rant #not Jane Austen #but related I feel #Let me at France I would totally rule that country #kind fathers were invented in 1952 #tropes #tropes we hate

[permit-it]

"Kill them with kindness" WRONG. To the barricades! 🪑🪑🪜⚰️🪑💥🚪⚰️🪑🪜⚰️🚪🪑⚰️💥⚰️🪑⚰️🪑🪜🪑💥⚰️🪜🪑⚰️🪑🚪🪑⚰️🪑💥⚰️🚪🪑⚰️🪑🪑⚰️💥🪑⚰️⚰️🪑🪜⚰️🪑💥🚪🪑⚰️🪑⚰️🪜💥🚪🪑⚰️⚰️🪑💥🪜⚰️🪑🪑⚰️🪜

#finding barricade related emojis was the most difficult part of taking part in this meme #les miserables #enjolras #les amis de l'abc #kill them with kindness #les mis #les amis #not screenreader friendly #didn't even occur to me to add that before! sorry!

[gunpowdercarousel]

Honestly MAJOR missed opportunity for Karlach to have some kind of permanent 'buff' that deals minor fire damage to anyone who touches her in melee. Like obviously it'd be strong for fighting beasts, because every time they hit her with claws/fangs they take damage, but just from a STORY-TELLING ASPECT?

How heartbreaking would it be when you're trying to cast Cure Wounds on her? In order to heal her, you have to hurt yourself and she KNOWS IT. You go to cast Longstrider on the party and you hesitate as you reach Karlach. Yeah, it's only a few points of damage, it's not that big a deal, but does she REALLY need it? Is it worth it?

You linger, hesitate. You realize you don't want to touch her. You realize that's what EVERYONE thinks when they see her. You realize she KNOWS You're hesitating, staring at her sheepishly as you try to think of whether or not it's worth the pain just to help her.

You learn to support her from a distance. Healing Word. It's not as effective, but you don't need to get hurt for her sake. And so she learns to get used to receiving help from a distance. Just words of encouragement. It's all anyone wants to give her. Maybe it's all she'll ever get.

Aid? Bardic Inspiration? You don't need to touch her to give it to her. You can keep her at a distance and not get burned. And you're still helping her.

It's just... cold.

#this started out with me annoyed at larian for not reflecting story-related plot elements in any kind of mechanical way #like it would be so easy and so impactful but noooo #leave it to the freaking MODDERS i guess #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 memes #shadowheart #karlach #karlach my beloved #karlach bg3

[raihyeon]

delish

#raiarts #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie #chaggie #its been such a long time since i drew these kind of event related doodles/arts #there is something v delish about the whole angel devil dynamics #tails??wings??? HORNS??

[stuckinapril]

I love Tumblr because nothing matters here truly. There are no influencers. Having followers doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a site where people post their sporadic thoughts and rb pretty pictures. Anyone who thinks any of this matters is woefully missing the point

#I joined tumblr for the aesthetics and now I’m here bc it’s the most low pressure social media to be on #Instagram is ppl’s highlight reel but Tumblr is where u see their pure thoughts unobstructed and I adore that #It’s very nice to have people to relate to and is def the main appeal to me but I don’t think there’s much more to it than that genuinely #Monetization on tumblr isn’t a thing and probably won’t be so it feels stupid to put more stake than necessary in it. Like you’re in the #Trenches over tumblr of all things. Embarrassing #I know chronically online people exist bc I have seen them in my or somebody else’s inbox but imagine waking up at 70 one day and the #Realization hitting u like a freight time that u wasted all ur time thinking tumblr. TUMBLR. This dying website. Has enough weight for u to #be sending anon hate or reviewing ppl’s blogs like they’re some kind of product. Brother this is licherally tumblr #I choose to laugh at this behavior than take it seriously bc absolutely no one is driving me crazy on my OWN blog. On tumblr dot com. #I refuse #I will do whatever I want forever etc

[beybuniki]

that time period when bakugo is worried sick about deku & the implications of being an ofa vessel but he’s still too proud to verbalize his worries so he just silently watches deku like a helicopter parent and nags like yea bakugo!!!! burying the hatchet won’t magically make you guys understand each other you actually have to verbalize your thoughts!!!! Deku doesn’t know you’re that worried you have to tell him!!!! Maybe that will make him less reckless!!!!friendship is magic but friendship is also so much work!!!!! (I like to think that bakugo just stares at deku while fighting his demons (vulnerability) and deku is clueless and everyone else is a bit scared that this weird prolonged eye contact means that we’re gonna have a bkdk fight act IV)

#kind of related I love how most of that fic is dedicated to bakugo and deku realizing that they can’t just assume thing you have to #sit down and talkkkk #anyway these sketches are for the manga but yeah I like to observe bakugo’s internal struggle #and I get ittttt it can be so hard to just say the words it’s so much easier to nag and try to control others #I think bakugo would love to be a little control freak when it comes to deku like stop going doing everything by yourselfffffd #crazyyyy how that’s how he basically dies like he rlly shouldn’t be there but he has to this is bakugo after all

[sualne]

half

#roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #one piece #my art #my comic #described in alt text #ive got a few comic ideas related to zoro (and mingo)'s blindness but it's kind of vent at times so #i haven't really done more than sketching them. you can have this one tho.

[remanence-of-love]

#love #love quotes #relatable quotes #heartbreak #heartbroken #kindness #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #loss #life quotes #life #quotes #a blog for the heartbroken #remanence-of-love

[weedle-testaburger]

tumblr atm:

#personal crap #vanilla extract #it's funny to me how we're a month into the year and already we have a meme on the level of goncharov #also this is the weirdest far side comic imo bc it's so weird for it to do this kind of 'relatable' comedy

[pocchi-poket]

You know, I feel like we're not talking enough about the fact that Alastor has in his room a full reproduction (?) of a swamp-forest that's highly likely very similar to the one where he was killed. Talk about being morbid.

Edit: someone pointed out in the comments that the swamp-forest is called bayou. It's a kind of ecosystem in Louisiana.

#And he was eating a deer in it #And we know he kind of embraced his deer identity #Idk I feel like there is some symbolic meaning related to his feelings about his death that I'm not fully grasping #Maybe something connected to his obsession with power because by doing this he's stating he isn't affected even by his own death? #Which is an act as shown first of all by the panic attack he had when he did almost die against Adam #And second (if it's still canon) by his fear of dogs #Still I find this interesting #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor the radio demon #the radio demon #alastor hazbin #hazbin hotel alastor

[mayasaura]

I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel #not knowing is one thing #erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different #like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way #and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr' #but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth #and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic' #and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience' #relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge #anyway. tl;dr: #if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!! #if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually #but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick #the locked tomb #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth

[unpretty]

the disappearance of durian between botw and totk implies to me that somehow zelda managed to erase all durian from the timeline

#original #some kind of fruit-related butterfly effect #a dragon wiggles its long weird body and now a type of fruit is extinct

[uncanny-tranny]

It's always, like, mildly annoying when people see a het trans couple and go "all that work just to be straight?" like... one, you don't know if they're straight and two, trans people don't owe you a queer sexuality to "make up" for the fact we're trans. Transhet people aren't a subtype of trans people, they're members of the trans community, and the queer one if they so desire!

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #and i don't really vibe with the word microaggression but it's very that #like it just comes across like people think trans folks owe them queerness and cabaret preformances y'know? #and we cannot *be* if it means the way we are being isn't this carefully curated version people have of transness + queerness #and it can kind of warp your desires and understanding of yourself because you *want* community and to be seen and to be allowed to just be #this isn't universal and the 'you' is impersonal. i am aware this is a broad range of experiences and not everybody can/does relate #my overall point is that it's probably not the best move to act like this toward trans people #maybe i read too much into this but it's just something i have seen over and over and over and over . . . again #shoutout to the real ones (heterosexual and/or straight trans people or people in straight-presenting relationships 👍) #back to playing the lelda of zelda (is it bad that i don't even call her zelda anymore i just go 'THERES LELDA!!!') #it sounds wrong to call her zelda now 😭 #the LEG OF ZEG. SWORD SKORD???? BREATH OF THE WEATH!! -my brain 24/7/365