#[me when i like a character] this bad boy can fit so many dog metaphors in it

[burninbriight]

gideon nav loves like a dog who grew up with nothing but a chain around her neck and a bowl of dirty water and that knows that the hand that feeds her is the very same hand that beats her but she still can't help but wag her tail a little when she sees her owner approach

#[me when i like a character] this bad boy can fit so many dog metaphors in it #gideon nav #gideon the ninth #gtn #gtnh #kiriona gaia #kiriona the first #tlt #the locked tomb

[drchenquill]

Since you've taken the liberty to ask me about my title, I have to admit, I've been curious about yours too. But I've been really preoccupied with personal stuff so I got a bit late. And I have ALOT. Hope you don't mind me bombarding you.

Desire Is The Purest Of Sins

Life Can Be a Bitch

Elite

The Fairy And The Man

The Nightingale

Pas De Deux

The Secrets Of The Sea

Veangeance Is The Meal Of The Powerless

The Memories Of The Future

Foliè

I can't help it 😭 the titles were pulling me in 😭😭😭.

Oh gosh!!! Thank you so much for the interest!!! I'm overwhelmed (in a good way)!! I'm always happy to talk about my stories, so don't even worry about bombarding me!! I welcome it!

Let's begin, shall we?

Desire Is The Purest Of Sins

This story talks about a young woman named Rosie the goes through life with metaphorical blinders. Nothing can change her world view, until she lands a job as a barwoman. There she'll meet a man she first gets to know as "Gin". He is a charming man, flirtious, knows his way around the ladies, but Rosie won't let herself be swooned or brought off track, until she sees something she shouldn't have. Her "blinders" get ripped off and now she is forced to see the world in a whole new light. (spoiler: it's a fantasy story~)

Life Can Be a Bitch

This is a rather tame, non-fantasy high school romance story. Eighteen year old Hannah moves into a new city with her mother and has to attend a new school. To her surprise, she fits in quite well, making friends pretty fast. She meets Dylan, a wannabe bad boy that gets beat up on a regular basis, and they get along like a cat and a dog (not) , but they gradually get used to each other and something starts to bloom~

Elite

This is quite tricky to explain, but I'll try my best. I've come up with a race of creatures who inherited their luck bringing powers from "Lady Luck". Their task is to prevent a vitium. A vitium is what happens when a world is in such a bad streak of bad luck that it fades from existence. This usually happens when the world has to go through something that affects its history. If for some reason that doesn't happen, then the world is gone because its story hasn't been continued. Now, the main character of this story is part of the elite, the best of the best. She gets send down on earth to investigate the disappearance of some of her collegues that had previously send down to safe the world from the incoming vitium.

The Fairy And The Man

This one is about soulmates, or better, the wish of having one. Moira, the main character, is a fairy woman, locked up with other fairy women to prevent the extinction of their race. You must know, my kind of fairies, are very, very, sensitive to emotions. A fairy could literally explode from happiness or die out of fear, so they lock them up and give them a pill to surpress any kind of emotion. But Moira hates being locked up, she wants to go outside, to find out who she could be if those walls wouldn't be trapping her. She suddenly gets a roommate, sixteen year old Felicity. A young fairy that is everything that withered away inside the now twenty year old Moira. Felicity is full of exictment and joy, awaiting the arrival of someone that could sweep her off her feet. Sadly, that person does come and manages to coax young Felicity out of those protective walls, leading her into an unknown world. Moira follows without a second thought, but everything goes downhill from that point on.

The Nightingale

A young woman forced to either marry a wealthy man or to work under a wealthy woman. She chooses the latter, of course, because with that one, she will at least get paid to do the housework. Madeline Templeton starts working under a noblewoman as one of many other maids. She is eager to please (to not get kicked out) and follows all the rules. At least some of them. She is very curious and sticks her nose into things the lady of the house might want to keep hidden. One of the biggest rules is to not enter the white door that she will eagerly open anyway. In there she will find something that will change her life forever... or maybe someone?

Pas De Deux

Another non-fantasy story. Ellie is a ballett dancer with a weird sort of problem. She hates being touched. Only the people she knows her entire life long are able to touch her without getting snapped at or even hit. She can't help it, she herself doesn't understand why. Everything goes to shit when her train and dance partner ditches her. At least he has the decency to present her wih a solution: his older brother. Joshua Reed is a boxer with a nasty reputation and a shitty personality. She begrudgingly gives in to let Joshua help her with the training, which is the worst idea she could ever have.

The Secrets Of The Sea

Pirates, wohoooo!!! Maire is the daughter of a pirate captain and the sea is the only think she knows. She was born on it and will die on it. One day, her father decides to visit an old friend, explaining that he still owned him a favor. Without doubting her father one bit, she and the rest of the crew agree to this favor. As she will find out, the favor included trafficking of a creature she long thought a myth: a siren.

Veangeance Is The Meal Of The Powerless

Its' a vampire murder mysterty and it's sort of a sequel of a finished book of mine "Who's to judge?". We follow Thana, Talon, Valerio and Leroy as they get called to assist in a murder case with a vampire as primary suspect. The evidence was clear as day, they only needed to find which vampire took their anger out on the victim. But the more they dig, the more intricate the case becomes. What if the murderer is the actual victim? What if this wasn't an act of meaningless killing, but an act of veangeance? Our four vampires will need to question thei own morals and world views to get to the bottom of this.

The Memories Of The Future

Picture this, a young girl lives with her aunt and her border collie in an old town where nothing intersting ever happens. This young girl, Sophie, is as chaotic and skittish as a squirrel, and just as forgetful. She leaves notes for herself around the house to remind her of stuff she has to do, which she still forgets. But as she soon will find out, those notes and those confusing visions she has, are acutally snippets from the future, and it turns out, some people might want to kindnap her because of it.

Foliè

My newest baby. This is the first story I planned out the numbers of chapters (let's see how well that will go). It's set in a world where the air has been polluted by something the humans call "The Madness". It's a gas that slowly makes you lose the grip on reality. Once you inhale it, there's no turning back. You'll hear a womans voice, whispering to you your deepest, darkest wishes. She will not stop until you act upon it. Some scientists succeeded in building a machine that filters the air, but since it's still in its early stage, it needs a lot of maintrnance, that's where the main character comes in. They are in charge of checking every crook of the machine, which goes well until, one day, they start hearing the womans voice.

That was a wild ride! Again, thank you so so so much for asking and I hope you have a wonderful evening/day!!!

#asks #wip ask #writing #writeblr #writers #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #wip

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episode 1

Here are my extremely unfashionably late takes! They’re long, so strap in if you want.

okay, I genuinely thought the scenes in Gumb’s basement were ripped from the film for a second. extremely well done.

I both appreciate that they’re acknowledging the Bureau-mandated psych eval Clarice would have to go through (not sure she’d have to have another one a year later?)...

...but I sure wish they hadn’t chosen to open this show in a therapy-like session. it’s going to be subject to enough NBC comparisons as it is.

gosh, Rebecca Breeds is so pretty, and in the same almost, idk, elfin kind of way Jodie Foster is.

“Bride of Frankenstein”! a novel reference! and a Hannibal Lecter reference even though they can’t use his name! I’m excited

I was afraid of this part, though--everyone’s going to call her “Clarice” aren’t they?

it’s very significant that in the books, Hannibal is virtually alone in using her first name to address her; even Ardelia calls her “Starling.” but of course this series chose “Clarice” as its title, so...

“the checkout lady at the Safeway asked me to autograph a melon” omg

so Clarice has supposedly been “mandated” to see an FBI therapist for an entire year? hmm.

tbh, this feels kind of like a proxy for Hannibal’s scenes in the movie, especially with the therapist calling her “Clarice.” not sure if I dig it.

“...given that your last therapist was an inmate” Hannibal reference #2!

they’re explicitly talking about Hannibal without being able to name him and it’s hilarious, frustrating, and immensely satisfying all at once.

there’s no way to avoid talking about him altogether without being disingenuous to Clarice’s eventual character arc, so I’m glad they’re ripping off the band-aid early

“you let that relationship be intimate”  Yeah, Clarice and Hannibal’s relationship IS intimate and YOU! SHOULD! SAY IT!!!

it’s kind of ridiculous for this guy/the show not to acknowledge that little trainee Clarice was sent to see Hannibal by someone who should’ve known better. That Crawford was doing it with the intention to save lives doesn’t mean he didn’t use the shit out of Clarice.

that’s not to take away her agency or minimize the choices she made after she met Hannibal. She wouldn’t have been in a position to make those choices if Crawford hadn’t arranged it, though.

even if they don’t have the rights to Crawford’s name, either (I have to assume that’s the case) couldn’t they at least mention this??

“hasn’t seen her own family in years” Are they actually going to address Clarice’s maybe-dead-maybe-not mother (depending on the canon they adopt, book or film) and possible siblings??? Please tell me they are!

Clarice’s “egregious” PTSD doesn’t have much to do with Buffalo Bill ofc, and this therapist seems to be making excuses to be the first in a long line of men getting in the way of Clarice’s career goals...

...which she recognizes and confronts him about. Call him out!!!

*Anthony Hopkins voice* That’s my girl.

the way she’s been written in this scene gives me a lot of hope going forward! she’s funny, she doesn’t take any sexist bullshit, she’s calm and polite but you get a glimpse of the rage underneath. 

wow, they promoted Senator Martin to Attorney General!

the opening credits (if you can even call them that) are a let-down, though

she has her beads!

can anyone who’s not Hannibal please stop calling her Clarice

wonder if they’re going to touch on any of the extreme tension that existed between Senator Martin and Clarice in the novel? they didn’t interact in the movie, but in the book, Martin is under intense stress, and it doesn’t go smoothly.

of course in “Hannibal,” Martin invites her to “ride horses,” so they obviously reconciled after Catherine’s rescue and kept in some kind of touch.

and speak of the devil: horses! (and Catherine)

“I can’t have a reputation, I’ve only done it once” Thank you for being the voice of reason, Clarice.

“Paul Krendler” *ugly screaming commences*

“you don’t have any people, Clarice” Aaand that’s the plot of the Hannibal novel!

looks like they even gave her the ring Jodie’s Clarice wears!

oh yeah, this Krendler looks like a sumbitch if I ever saw one. No one will ever be as perfectly cast as the dude in Silence imo, but a much better fit than Ray Liotta. 

“small carat, but it’s a sweet ring” A very in-character observation probably directly informed by her comments about nail polish in Silence.

she mentions this victim’s nail polish (!) being “tasteful,” and I shrieked a little again.

I understand it’s necessary for Krendler to be a douche, but there’s not even going to be any payoff for the audience (or Clarice) when Hannibal eats him, so boo.

wait...wait, why aren’t Clarice and Ardelia in their Alexandria duplex? They’re not just best friends, they’re roommates! For the entire seven-year story! GIVE ME THE DUPLEX!!!

BUT points for Ardelia bringing Clarice a treat, since she was always leaving her candy bars in the Silence book!

Clarice interacting with the washer/dryer is a nice nod to the books, too.

speaking of... “What did we learn in the laundry room back at Quantico?” For some reason this line made me actually cry, I guess because this whole episode has been such a love letter to something I love so dearly, and it’s making me emotional.

FIRST PRINCIPLES!

DESPERATELY RANDOM!!!

wow, the men in Clarice’s new office giving her lotion as a hazing “welcome” gift is awful, and now I’m just mad (which is the point of the scene ofc).

so this ex-military OC is the John Brigham stand-in, I take it?

if that means John Brigham won’t be here, No Thanks.

Clarice telling him she’ll drive...a tribute to Dana “Why Do You Always Have to Drive?” Scully, perhaps (who was herself inspired by Clarice) as well as a nod to Clarice’s love of cars?

“Why do they call you the bride of Frankenstein?” Sorry, I don’t have the legal rights to tell you about my last intimate relationship.

“Already on my way to West Virginia Granny Witch” Look, this show could crash and burn from this scene on, and it would still have been worth it just for these first 25 minutes.

I like that Clarice is shown wanting to help people, and the scene of her with the baby is a nice call-back to the eventual shoot-out at the beginning of “Hannibal”...but I hope they don’t try to domesticate her too much. Clarice needs her hard edges. To be tough (reasonably so)--a cub growing into its big cat’s claws.

also, somehow I doubt that Miss Valedictorian spent her six years in the Lutheran home “changing a lot of diapers,” but sure, okay. If her siblings are alive in this, she might have changed their diapers!

even though Krendler’s a real dickwad so far, he’s not slimy enough for me. Needs more grease.

“I got a call from your therapist who’s concerned that you might genuinely flip out” I really do not like this subplot Sam-I-Am. Aren’t the huge glass ceiling/Boys’ Club obstacles enough?

seriously, though, I know Hannibal tells her that the metaphorical lambs will come back--at the end of Silence, though, she’s at some kind of temporary peace, not in danger of “flipping out” any time soon.

if Esquivel really is our Brigham stand-in, I’ve got...problems with that. He was Clarice’s teacher and became her friend, not some Krendler double-agent. (Also worried they’re setting him up as a love interest for her which...eesh, no thanks.)

and sorry, I actually hate that Catherine kept Precious the dog in this.

I have no problem with Catherine being a character, or with her interacting with Clarice...that said, I don’t know if her being shown as severely traumatized and reaching out to Clarice as a form of emotional lifeline is...a good idea?

I understand the symbolism of Catherine’s smashed mirror, but...smashed mirrors are already a Thing in this series (albeit not Clarice’s chapter in it), and that’s all I can think of here.

Catherine’s a victim of unthinkable trauma. Nevertheless...she’s talking to the woman who saved her life. Who risked death to do it. I just don’t like the way this scene is written. Apparently, in this show’s canon, Catherine hasn’t gotten the help she needs. But Clarice isn’t her therapist, and it’s upsetting to have Catherine being all “I’ll never be safe and neither will you.”

how does Catherine remember “the mannequins, the autopsy table”?? And why is she throwing them in Clarice’s face?

I’m going to stop talking about this scene now because it’s making me angry and a little upset, which is maybe the point? I just don’t think it’s written well. If Catherine’s going to be a recurring character, I hope she’s shown getting professional, medical help.

Clarice finding the victim’s papers in the box of pads is a direct callback to her finding the photos in the jewelry box in Silence. Nice.

let’s agree that Hannibal and Crawford are both in Ardelia’s (too-cutesy-for-me) book

another nice little X-Files homage?

I have some qualms about that big climax, but...meh. It was capital-F Fine.

Yikes, this is a full week late. Thanks for reading this entirely-too-long post through to the end, if you’re still here! 

To sum up my thoughts...

The Good: 

the visual connections to the Silence film (that green coat/blue knit scarf combo in particular)

Rebecca Breeds’ performance overall so far

Clarice’s strong writing/characterization

her sense of humor and her inclination to call out bullshit

maybe it was just me, but I also got a sense of Hannibal’s influence on her in some of her dialogue--her blunt observations--and I love it

Ardelia Mapp

the repeated in-your-face references to Hannibal Lecter

the respectful, non-exploitative way the victims were treated by the narrative.

let’s just say, not all Harris-inspired shows managed to do this. :)

the many, many allusions to the novel

“you let that relationship be INTIMATE” !!!

The Bad: 

the near-constant implication that all Clarice’s trauma stems from her experiences in Gumb’s basement

I just don’t understand this one...it’s not supported by the text imo

the “Clarice-is-a-psychological-loose-canon” subplot

almost everyone calling her “Clarice”

NO DUPLEX IN ALEXANDRIA! Boo!

Esquivel maybe replacing Brigham

the narrative choices they’ve made surrounding Catherine so far.

Seriously: please let Catherine seek/get help instead of screaming “HELP ME” at Clarice, who after all risked her own life to save Catherine’s, over the phone.

The Ugly: Paul Krendler, lol. Confession time: I also don’t care for the way they’ve styled her hair. Not sure why it bugs me, it just...does.

Overall, I’m thrilled to death with this. I was so afraid it would be disappointing, so even if it’s not a five-star episode (and pilots rarely are), it’s a great beginning! It’s beyond amazing to see our girl on the screen again. Just this hour-long episode did her character way more justice than the entire Hannibal film. Despite its shortcomings, it’s such a loving homage to characters and a story that mean a lot to me, and I love it just for that.

Going forward, I’d like to see more of Clarice as a person. Her hobbies and interests--cars, sharpshooting, running, fashion magazines stuffed under her bed, horseback riding, her total inability to cook...anything would do. I of course want to see more of her with Ardelia. I want to hear more about her backstory and find out which version of it (truly orphaned when her father dies or sent away by her mother) they’ll choose to explore. And while we all agree that this show is about Clarice and she don’t need no man, I won’t lie: I’d gobble up more sly references to Hannibal. He’s her endgame, after all.

I’d also like to really see the warrior underneath. There are flashes of her in the last twenty minutes of this episode. But Clarice Starling is a big cat, she’s a warrior, she’s between iron and silver. I’d hate for her to spend most of this show doe-eyed and traumatized. I want her to be ferocious, to see the woman who’s a match for the monster.

Krendler needs to get nastier. He should make us feel like we need to shower. In the novels, he wants to use Clarice--only for her body. And when she won’t allow him to, he takes his revenge. That’s what makes him so particularly awful. Let’s amp him up here.

And finally...maybe I’ll appreciate Catherine’s scene more on a second watch. Maybe I’m not being sensitive enough to her trauma, her struggles. But I didn’t like the way that scene was staged or scripted, and I didn’t like the suggestion that she just hasn’t gotten help after a year and is subsequently taking her pain out on Clarice on some level. I hope future episodes handle this subplot, and her character, a bit better.

Please let me know if you guys would like me to do another of these monstrosities for the next episode. (I promise it won’t take me an entire week this time!) And thank you again for reading!!! 

#Clarice Starling #clarice #cbs clarice #rebecca breeds #media [cbs show] #char [clarice starling] #I'm sorry again about how amazingly late this is heh #you've probably all watched and processed by now and have moved on to Episode 2 but I am slow

[revchainsaw]

Bumblebee (2018)

Good Evening worshippers, and welcome! Today the Cult of Cult goes a little more mainstream than usual. It's been a while since i've tackled a big Hollywood superhero film. But I do believe that these sorts of films will be remembered fondly my small groups of people in the future, especially the smaller films that are being overshadowed by the big bad MCU, films like 2018s Bumblebee.

The Messsage

Bumblebee was originally released as a prequel to the Transformers franchise that had started all the way back in 2007. However, reboots had really hit the market as a way to breath new life into struggling franchises, and the Transformers series had already gone to just about every absurd extreme you could imagine. No changes were made to the movie as it was released, but with it's more childish and heartfelt tone, and a new aesthetic that was softer, smoother, and all around just generally more pleasing to the eye, I think it was a wise choice to rebrand Bumblebee as a new beginning.

Our story is of two friends from two very different worlds and how they came together. Our first character is Bumblebee, then known as B- number sign/it doesn't really matter. Not yet Bumblebee is a soldier set with securing a safe location for the Autobots to regroup and make their home as they suffer a pretty serious defeat on cybertron at the hands of the tyrannical Decepticons. Optimus Prime, here again voiced by Peter Cullen and looking so much more like himself, assigns this task to Bumblebee promising him that they will meet him there when the time comes. Then Optimus fucks off for the rest of the run time making way for our little hero.

Bumblebee lands on Earth and is immediately set upon by John Cena and his military goon squad. It probably would have been wise for Bumblebee to avoid John Cena but in his defense, he couldn't see him. Hardy har har. In his attempt to flee his voice box is damaged, he seeks sanctuary by taking the form of a run down little VW bug, and suffers from amnesia.

Then we have Charlie. Charlie is not like other girls. She likes cars, all the retro music, which wasn't retro when the movie takes place, so I'm supposed to just think she's a rocker but it kinda seems like she'll listen to just about anything. I think in 2018 liking Motorhead and The Smiths (who are used ad nauseum in this movie) is perfectly common, but I feel like in the 80s that was a much different and much older attitude to take.

Anyway Charlie's poor family lives in a super fucking nice house and are poor because the dialogue keeps insisting they are so it must be true despite all the shit they have that actually poor people would sell blood and teeth to attain, but hell, this is Hollywood and Hollywood poor is like regular people upper middle class. Charlies family is so poor that instead of giving her a one time graduation/birthday present to buy a part for a car she already has, they just give her a moped, She also spends all her time at a pull apart where the manager (who might be her uncle that wasn't super clear) is willing to just give her a Volkswagen so I don't understand why she didn't already have the project car up and running. Whatever, it's a plot contrivance. All you need to know is that Charlie is tenacious and hard around the edges cuz her dad is dead and she's not yet mature enough to process that in a healthy way. Maybe her character arch will teach her to let others in, we'll have to find out.

There's also a wacky nerd named Memo, and some bad guys, and John Cena. They are all also pretty archetypal and contrived and don't really do anything of note that isn't just filling a beat that this kind of movie needs to walk. Charlie starts Bumblebee up, discovers he's a robot and the two begin to bond. Charlie learns to make a friend, and bumblebee is learning about himself. They get into hijinks and get revenge on a bully girl who makes Regina George look like a saint, she pretty much only picks on Charlie exclusively for having a dead dad.

The moment Bumblebee is woken back up, some technology goof em up that both he and Charlie are unaware of brings two Decepticon baddies into the picture. I don't remember their names, but since I love The Venture Brothers let's say they can be "Jet Boy and Jet Girl". Jet Boy and Jet Girl are sometimes cars, sometimes various flying military vehicles, and they make friends with the deep state and plan to get all the adrenochrome from all the orphans, or just to go find Bumblebee and beat his ass good cuz their bad guys. Let me tell y'all though, Jet Boy and Jet Girl are so bad that they don't even care that the government is listening when they reveal that they are planning on bringing a Decepticon Invasion and after they rough up Bumblebee real good they are going to destroy all life on this planet. So they start by killing a military scientist.

John Cena is after Bumblebee and he's homies with Jet Boy and Jet Girl until the military scientist butt dials him and he hears the evil plan. John Cena goes from heel to face and helps Bumblebee and Charlie save the day. It's a giant CG clusterfuck climax a la any superhero film in the last 10 years and I basically stopped watching. BumbleBee pulls a Hellraiser on Jet Boy, and then he hits Jet Girl with a freaking boat. Charlie uses her diving skills do dive down and save him, but he's a Giant Robot and he was okay and it was literally pointless for her to to except as a way to show that her character has completed her arch by doing the thing that was representative of her connection with her lost father.

Bumblebee turns into the Camaro from the first movie, meets up with Optimus prime, and the stage is set for this prequel to squeeze more prequels out. So it wasn't very creative, but was it bad? Let's find out.

Please Stand to receive the Benediction.

Best Aspect: Transform the Franchise

Bumblebee was directed by Travis Knight of Laika fame and it shows. This movie marks a stylistic change in the transformers franchise, as in it doesn't look like utter dog shit, but it also represents in many ways a tonal shift. It does hold on to a lot of gross sleaze that has unfortunately been forcibly jammed into the DNA of the franchise but it also attempts to be a more heartfelt entry. The characters of Bumblebee might all be sort of a waste of time, but at least they are doing something with emotions, even if the emotions of the characters are only explored as deeply as a children's cartoon I'm glad they are there. In the previous installments the only thing the characters did between running from action piece to seizure inducing action piece was drool over underage girls like a bunch of chimpanzees at the facility where they test experimental E.D. meds. It was nice to see that at least somewhat tampered. This transformers movie feels more like it's for kids and young teenagers, and strangely that more friendly tone makes for a much less juvenile product.

Worst Aspect: Remember I Love the 80s from the 2000s

I hope you really like Stranger Things. I do, but because Stranger Things was so successful it' s going to be everywhere. Not true Stranger Things just 80s nostalgia porn. This 80s nostalgia is going to be forced on you whether you like it or not, and it's not going to be fun. It's gonna be in your shows, in your music, in your Sunday like Bacon in 2010. It's that or Marvel Franchise Brand Whedonisms. Bumblebee is that brave movie that says, "Why not both?" It would seem fitting that a property as quintessentially 80s as Transformers should feel completely comfortable doing a period piece set in the 80's but it's so fucking half hearted it's depressing. It wasn't done to appreciate the roots of the IP, it was done to cash in on a trend and it feels it. All they did was throw up a date and insufferably force an 80s soundtrack down your throat as if that was enough to convince you that this movie needed to be set during this time. Other than that you could have told me this film was set in 2007 and I couldn't tell you any different.

Best Character: Charlie's an Angel

I liked Charlie. Sure her Arc is predictable, her taste is dumb, and she isn't exactly a master of her own destiny to any degree. But at least she is a woman in a transformers movie who's got something going on. Sure she's defined entirely by grief, but that sure is better than pretending that being able to work on cars is a feminist character trait instead of a weird fetish thing. They certainly do that thing with Charlie, but at least it's not the only thing they throw at the wall. Bumblebee is by no means out of the woods in this department, but it garners a lot of goodwill for trying. Like a racist uncle who just started his journey out of ignorance, but hasn't yet realized he has to stop asking mortifying questions to the barista at Starbucks. Okay, maybe that's an extreme metaphor. I'm saying that perhaps Charlie is not a great character but she's a great character for a Transfomers movie.

Worst Character: It's JOOOOHHHNNNN CEEEENA!!!!

Why is John Cena in this movie? I don't hate the guy, but his character seems pointless. You could remove him from the movie completely and replace him with any one of the random military goons at any point and it changes nothing. What was with that dumb salute at the end? It seems like they put him in this movie in post and it was just to pump up cast list. I wish he was given anything to work with. I can't remember his characters name, and it's not like John Cena did a bad job, I was just annoyed every time they kept giving him hero shots. I felt like I was watching a trailer for a different movie.

Best Actor: Optimal Primo!

Every time Peter Cullen speaks I want to listen. There's a reason they haven't had Chris Pratt or somebody with a bigger name come in and take over the role at this point. He's why the audience keep coming back. Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime, and there's no changing that. He also wins twice. He's the best actor in the movie AND he's barely in the movie. Good call Peter.

Worst Actor: Mean Girls 2, Meaner and Girlier

I don't want to be cruel so I'm not going to go into to much detail, but there's an actress in this film who's performance is so mustache twirlingly evil and stupid that it ruined my suspension of disbelief when i knew going in that i was about to endure a 2 hour toy commercial about robots that turn into cars. Beldar Conehead was a more convincing human being than Tina.

Best Effect: Goo Be Gone

I really appreciated when the bad guys shot the government nerd into a blast of snot. That was pretty fun for me. Best part of the movie hands down.

Worst Effect: Live Action?

Bumblebee is a cartoon. It's a great looking cartoon but it doesn't sell itself that way. If we were doing a Roger Rabbit thing I'd have no gripes. However, I think CG is just getting worse. I'm criticizing this and it's still lightyears better than the previous entry's on the franchise. No transformation or fight sequence in Bumble Bee had me straining to make sense of what I was looking at. I think it was a great idea to start using some basic shapes and outlines to these characters, and return somewhat to their 80s designs. But at certain points, especially when there were no humans in the shot, i was pretty convinced I was watching Clone Wars. There may not be anyway around this, as the Transformers concept might not be able to be pulled off in any more effective manner. It's a minor gripe, but I just didn't think it looked like anything other than a very expensive cartoon, and in this franchise that's a compliment, because it least it looked like SOMETHING!

Best Scene: Space Opera

I am not a Transformers fan. I missed the boat on the cartoon as a kid. I would sometimes catch it at friends houses but I was more into Batman, Star Wars, and Ninja Turtles. By the time I came onto the scene the world had moved on to Beast Wars. I did one day arbitrarily decide that my favorite Transformer was Sound Wave. He looked great in this. I am a big fan of the return to form with a lot of the character designs in this. They really did keep the things that worked from the other adaptations, and they are steadily removing the things that didn't. For this reason, the scenes on Cybertron, particularly the battle with Soundwave (i prefer for personal reasons) looked great and were exciting to watch. I remember thinking Cybertron used to look like a Marilyn Manson shot a music video from inside to dumpster. This is so much better.

Worst Scene: Blocking the Box

There's a scene in Bumblebee where Charlie's family decides the best way to save their daughter was to cause a pile up of vehicles in an intersection, and it's pure contrived writing that saved any character in that sequence from being killed in a horrific traffic accident. It was stupid, played for laughs, and it wasn't exciting as much as it was anxiety inducing. I also thought that there was no reason the covert military group covering up extraterrestrial life wouldn't just disappear this family of fucking morons in their little piece of shit car. The logic of the scene was just so childish like, "No they won't hit me, I'm a good person."

Summary

Bumblebee may be remembered fondly in a decade. I think especially if the Transformers franchise were to end here. It didn't get the publicity of the other films, and that really is a shame. For my money, this was the best Transformers movie so far. I was very tempted to give Bumblebee a C, it does just enough to right what was wrong from the other movies to make me appreciate all that work. This movie has heart, and if you are at all into Transformers then l think you should see it. It's still pretty stupid, and pretty basic. It's not offering anything new to the genre, and it feels like a commercial for more movies. I really wish we could just get movies that want to tell a story. I thought it over and decided that it wasn't fair not to grade Bumblebee on it's own merits. Bumblebee is substantially better than the films that preceded it, but that's not saying a lot, when the films that preceded it are joyless exercises in self abuse.

Overall Grade: D

#Transformers #Bumblebee #Optimus Prime #Action #Adventure #Car #Super Hero #Robot #Scifi #Grade D #D #Grade: D #2018 #2010s #(D)

[k-i-ssmyash]

Pls I would love to hear your analysis on why those mitski songs fit each iz boy (feel free to ignore this but if you'd like do tell bcs I think it is interesting B) )

Oh buddy you've made a mistake. You'd love to hear the analysis? Well I love to talk; I hope your ready for the absolute word vomit and rambling that's under the cut. But yeah, no, i'll never turn down asks like this! Interact with me! I'm but a simple, lonely tumblr hermit.

Let's start off with the first post containing Zim and referencing A Pearl. I tie this song in with his (fandom assumed) character development and how it effects both his mental state, Dib, and his ideology of the Irken Empire as a whole. In a way, I think a lot of us over-sympathize or find common ground with our alien and it prompts us to victimize him and excuse a lot of his actions. And for good reasons honestly? It's easy to do so consider that he was born under the rule of a tyrannical society where flaws are looked down upon. He does wrong but to him it's not exactly wrong, is it? It's unfair to judge him and scrutinize him the same way we do humans. The show is slap-stick at it's core and despite the grim and black-humor based undertones, not much is taken seriously. Although it often ends up in failure, everything he attempts to do is to better the empire, to receive recognition from the beings they hail to about the same degree as a deity. The long and short of it is that he wants to make the Tallest happy. To prove that he's worth their time and that he can live up to everything he dreamed he could be, but the truth is that he can't. He loves the people that hate him the most. It's an abusive relationship at it's finest, really. So he picks up the most unhealthy coping mechanism: Denial. He can't accept the fact that he's a fake invader, or that his Tallest weren't coming to Earth, because it would genuinely destroy him. And why wouldn't it? Pleasing his superiors and contributing to the hive-collective is encoded in him. It's all he's ever known. I specifically chose the given lines "(It's just that) I fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended-" because that's the back-bone of Zim's character. You can take it both literally and metaphorically if you'd like. He's invader Zim. He likes being an invader because it gives him a purpose. The Tallest give him a fake mission and play into his delusion of doing good and being someone important (of being loved, even) and never truly hammer in the fact that he's exiled--not counting the unaired episode or the bit of commentary mumbled under the Tallests breath-- because they find the situation funny to an extent. (also, what gets me just in general with it is that Zim thinks that people like him but he's actually just one big joke and ow goddamn it my feelings) Main lyric(s) out of the way there I similarly associate the song to Zim's uh 'character redemption' so to say. I think he'd struggle to become accustomed to Earth and the fact that he doesn't have to rely on commands to live his life. I relate the line(s): "You're getting tired of me (and all of the things I don't talk about) / You love me so hard and I still can't sleep / It's not that I don't want you / It's not that I don't want your touch / There's a hole that you fill" With his relationship with Dib-- platonic, romantic, whatever-- and the general give and take of it all. He'd like to assimilate and believe in the freedom given by living on Earth. He wants it and in a way Dib provides the stability he needs there and it would be so, so, easy to give in to it. But he can't because the Empire continues to loom over him and his day-to-day life. As it's been proven, without Dib there to provoke Zim, the little alien falls into a depression, not unlike the one he fell into in Enter The Florpus when he saw the truth in his mission. Dib is his substitute, essentially. (there's something to be said with that relationship and how I view it but this is already dragging on and this is only the first analysis, so maybe another time.) And lastly, I'd like to think that the Pearl the song is eluding to can be compared to Zim's PAK. The whole 'Pearls are parasites that live inside of mollusks' bit can relate to the PAK and it's purpose. But I see it more in the sense that the PAK is the second brain, a computer memory drive that grants Zim access to the memories he can't bring himself to forget or delete. I.e., "And it left a pearl in my hand / And i roll it around every night just to watch it glow /

Every night, baby, that's where I go" Every time he takes a step forward, he takes two back because he just can't let go of what he knows (the Empire).

--- As for Dib and I Bet On Losing Dogs, well, it's a little more complicated and I'm still not entirely sure of my break-down here because there's so many layers to apply. Originally when I started messing around with this idea, it was going to be centered on Membrane "My baby, you're my baby, say it to me" and him loving Dib despite his flaws. And I still think it could apply. While Dadbrane doesn't support Dib's paranormal bull-shit, and he shouldn't considering the lengths Dib goes through to prove it (bus hoping, obsessive behavior, the fucking trench-coat) he does support and love his son despite the absentness. Hence the "I bet on losing dogs" and you know, Dadbrane just being there to pick him up and have his back when he really needs to. But then we get to the last line of the first verse. "Tell your baby that I'm your baby" To which Dib, in all of his edgy glory, decided to stick his big-head in to my thought process. I saw it as Dib wishing that Membrane would pick him over Science. Kind of a plea for attention? Like: Put your work away, I know you love it but you need to love me more. Dib has got to have the biggest hero-complex out of everyone in the show. He also has an inferiority-complex that compels him to try and prove himself. Quite frankly, and pun fully intended, he is the underdog. The odds are always against him and he almost never comes out victorious in the end, in that way, I feel like Dib himself is the loosing dog. His belief in the supernatural is the loosing dog. No one will ever believe him, "I bet on losing dogs / I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place" but he's too stubborn to give up. Even if he's mocked and ridiculed he would never stop trying to prove himself correct and would continue to stick to his guns. "I'll be there on their side / I'm losing by their side" He ostracizes himself from his peers by not letting belief go. He is purposely sabotaging his chance of being seen as someone other than the crazy kid.

That being said, the next line is where his Hero-complex comes back into play. "Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down" in Enter the Florpus, his sworn enemy was in a funk that he knew all too well. Sure, in the end he wanted to use Zim for his own gain, but before that he sympathized with him. And in a way, he possibly wouldn't know how to act if he ever did actually succeed? I couldn't help but think that Dib, who has always lost wouldn't feel like exposing Zim would be a win? He'd miss the fight. Dib would miss the struggle of being beaten down only to rise up when he finally gets some sort of substantial evidence: "I wanna feel it / I bet on losing dogs" he hopes that Zim will come up with something big and bad not because he wants him to win either, but because then Dib has something to fight against. Along with that, the one time Dib actually broke away from paranormal to go along with his father's wishes he was absolutely miserable. He was successful. He made his father happy, he could have made something out of his life but he couldn't; the appeal of Zim and their on-going stalemate was too much to resist-- "I always want you when I'm finally fine / Someone to watch me die" -- Dib is ruining himself by obsessing over the truth and Zim would be going down, right there with him. ahaha, that was a lot wasn't it? It probably didn't make sense either as it's just my personal rambling here, but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts and opinions on it all.

#smoke break #Ash Answers #invader zim #mitski

[mst3kproject]

Tobor the Great

This was a movie YouTube thought I ought to watch. It’s so bad even Leonard Maltin didn’t like it.

Two scientists, Dr. Harrison and Dr. Nordstrom, are concerned about the effects of space travel on the human body, and so they attempt to convince the Civil Interplanetary Flight Commission (think NASA, but with funding) to use an alternative form of test pilot.  No, sit down, dog- and monkey-lovers in the audience, I’m talking about a huge, unwieldy, unnecessarily humanoid robot!  Obviously, foreign agents want to steal this machine and turn it into a huge, unwieldy weapon instead of a huge, unwieldy astronaut, but Nordstrom’s grandson Brian saves the day using his special telepathic link with Tobor!

The movie does not believe we’re smart enough to figure out why the robot’s name is Tobor.  It spells it out for us, literally and on more than one occasion.

Tobor the Great is a children’s movie – the main character is eleven-year-old Brian, who is mostly addressed by his nickname, Gadget or Gadge.  He’s established as an engineering genius in his own right, who gets to hang around in his grandfather’s lab and make friends with this cool robot.  He’s what every white American boy in the 50’s was supposed to want to be.  All of which makes it sort of weird that we don’t meet him until nearly fifteen minutes into the movie.

Consider some better children’s movies.  In Coco, Miguel is the literal as well as the metaphorical narrator – we begin with his voice telling us the backstory.  Lilo and Stitch gives us one title character almost immediately, and then brings in the second as quickly as it can to get us to the point where they meet.  Of course, you don’t have to introduce the main character first in a movie, but if you’re going to put it off you have to do it skillfully.  Star Wars takes its time getting around to Luke Skywalker, but it’s already given us somebody to follow in the form of C-3P0 and R2-D2, who make good audience proxies because 3P0 doesn’t know what’s going on any more than we do.  Tobor the Great lets nearly a quarter of its running time go by before we finally meet Gadge, and even more before we get to Tobor himself, and that time is spent setting up what seems to be a rather different movie.

The opening does establish the need for Tobor, but it takes way too long about it.  We start with narration and stock footage about the American space program, which is as deathly boring as it always is in these movies. Maybe it seemed more exciting in the fifties, when space rockets were the coolest thing around.  Then we get into Dr. Harrison and his complaints about unsafe practices, which lead to his resignation and to him trying to dodge the press before meeting the likeminded Dr. Nordstrom.

These seem like strange things to put in a children’s movie. I feel that a lot more time is spent justifying the need for a robotic astronaut than is really necessary, and the early close focus on Dr. Harrison makes it seem like he’s going to be our main character – but he fades into the background once we get to Dr. Nordstrom’s lab and at the end he’s not much more than a completely unnecessary love interest for Gadge’s widowed mother.  In Star Wars the two droids stick around and participate in the plot for the whole movie – Dr. Harrison doesn’t.  The politicking within the CIFC is not something children are likely to be interested in, nor is the nagging newspaper man, and all of these scenes are just guys in suits talking.  Very little actually happens and none of it involves robots carrying off beautiful women like the poster shows us!

The annoying reporter is a particularly odd inclusion. His name is Mr. Gilligan, which Joel and the ‘bots would have found hilarious.  I went into Tobor the Great totally blind, having never heard of it when the thumbnail appeared in my YouTube recommendations, but if I’d read a plot summary or something beforehand, maybe I wouldn’t have expected Gilligan to play a major role in the plot.  As it was, I figured he was either a Soviet spy or would unintentionally pass information on to them – but he vanishes after the first press conference, and the question of whether he has the right to compromise national security in the name of selling newspapers is never dealt with.  Instead the spies are a bunch of guys we’ve never seen before.

Once all this is over with, though, we do finally get to see Tobor strut his stuff.  Nordstrom and Harrison work on programming him to do things like type reports to be sent back to Earth and dodge meteor showers (as all 50’s space rockets had to do), while Gadge sits and watches… and does very little else.  You’d think this part of the movie would continue the thread of Gadge being the equal of the adult scientists, maybe overlapping with him and Tobor bonding, but there’s almost none of either.  Why set up Gadge as a prodigy if you’re not going to make use of it?  At the climax we expect Gadge to save the day by figuring something out, as he showed he could do earlier.  Instead he just shuts his eyes and thinks really hard at Tobor, like Ichi trying to summon Gamera. It works, but it’s not as satisfying as it could have been.  At the end the movie has neatly avoided almost all of its potential and anything that might have been cool to watch, and failed to give us anything it seemed to promise.

To make things even worse, Gadge is played by one of those insanely cloying 50’s child actors who say things like “oh, gosh!” and “gee whillikers!”  I cannot imagine anybody actually talking like this.  Actor Billy Chaplin sure makes it sound fake as hell.  While Chaplin is a decent actor physically, everything he says sounds stilted and unnatural, like he’s reading it off notes while trying to project his voice to a full auditorium.  The adult actors are much better, which just makes Chaplin look all the worse by comparison.

Tobor, on the other hand, is wonderful, in the ‘stupid cardboard movie robot’ way that makes Torg from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the delightfully awful robot of Devil Girl from Mars so much fun.  It’s got lots of blinky lights and moving parts, and stamps around with a pretty convincing sense of weight.  Unlike some movie robots it actually moves at a good clip when it wants to, perhaps helped by the fact that it has working knees.  The movie makes the point that Tobor is a large and dangerous piece of kit at the same time as it’s able to be gentle and dexterous, which reinforces the idea that it would be frightening as a weapon.

My favourite part is when Tobor drives a car.  I wonder if the guy in the costume could see anything. That must have been a hell of a day on set.

What you want me to get back to, though, is the bit where the robot is psychic.  Yes, that’s actually the premise of this movie, a telepathic robot!  I’m not sure how plausible that would have seemed in the 50’s, even in such an explicitly silly movie.  Dr. Nordstrom doesn’t expect the reporters to believe in it without a demonstration, and yet the same decade also produced films like The She-Creature that present such ideas with an entirely straight, albeit incompetent, face.  Psychic powers as hard-ish sci-fi seems to have gone out of style by the 90’s, and nowadays it sounds like something you’d see in the Weekly World News.

Man, I miss the hard copy Weekly World News.  It was so nice to have that little isle of humour in the sea of garbage that was (and still is) the supermarket tabloids.  Remember Hilary Clinton’s space-alien lover?  Classic.

The function of telepathy in this story is not just to give Gadge a way to summon the robot after the spies break Nordstrom’s control mechanism.  It is also a means whereby Tobor may acquire human traits and emotions.  How to make a robot feel things is a perennial problem in science fiction… a lot of the time the mechanism is simply glossed over, as an artificial intelligence becomes more human by interacting with humans. Emotions are just chemicals in our brains, though, and the more we learn about how they work, the harder it gets to justify a machine feeling them.  In Star Trek: the Next Generation Data and Lore have a special bit of hardware that must be installed to enable emotions, and really seem like they’re better off without it. In Saturn 3, Hector has a processor made of cloned brain cells that can produce their own chemistry, as well as a direct neural uplink to its programmer.

As such solutions go, I actually kind of like how Tobor the Great goes about it, even if the mechanism is silly.  Rather than having emotions of its own, Tobor senses and mirrors those of the humans around it.  When Gadge is panicking, worrying that Tobor is out of control, Tobor panics and goes around smashing things, thus making for a self-fulfilling prophecy. When Gadge thinks of Tobor as a hero, the robot comes to his rescue, carrying him to safety like a rescued princess, and responds to the anger and rage of the spies by turning these emotions back on them and beating them up.  This is quite different from many ‘emotional machine’ stories, in that it doesn’t actually require Tobor to be in any way self-aware.

Unfortunately the movie is not very consistent about this. There’s a scene in which Tobor gets frustrated and breaks stuff after being put through too challenging a simulation, which does imply that the robot has an intelligence and emotional capacity of its own.  This bit has a purpose, as it serves to make us worry that Tobor will be unable to tell the difference between friend and foe at the finale, but it just doesn’t fit with the way this machine is treated in the rest of the movie.

Like many others both from MST3K and from the Episodes that Never Were, Tobor the Great has a couple of good ideas at its core.  It even predicted how much easier and safer it is to send robots into space than people, although those robots don’t look much like the lumbering humanoids of 50’s sci-fi. Sadly, the film is uneven, rushed, and poorly-acted, and nothing particularly fun or exciting happens in it. Various people over the years have seen its potential and Tobor has starred in a couple of comic books and an unproduced TV pilot, but these never went anywhere either.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #tobor the great #50s #tobor is robot spelled backwards

[eternal-aegis]

waiting for godot - 🔬 / 🎵 / 🎁 - because damn, i still have feelings! also, right back at you: HOW DO YOU DO IT OMFG?

Ah!!! LOL it’s the one (1) fic I have finished for BSD, everything else is a disaster. I do it with an intense focus on shoving as many layers of symbolism and angst as I can fit into this bad boy!! <3 <3 <3

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Fic: Waiting for Godot

"It must be killing you," Dazai smiles, "not being able to decide whether we are alive and in a world where you wrote in the Book, not knowing it would interpret your vision as a request to erase all of humanity, or whether we are both dead, and somehow, we are each other's personal Hell."

🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?

I was both struggling and looking forward to making Dazai and Beckett interact in the second chapter. WFG used comparisons and contrasts as the underlying concept, so Dostoyevsky represents what Dazai could have been and is the opposite of what Dazai is now. Beckett, however, exists as a kindred spirit for Dazai. I got the vibe from all of my reading and Wikipedia research that his character in the BSD ‘verse would be someone who was also on this path to redemption (possibly someone who was in the Great War, but I digress). He’s a bit further along than Dazai, but I think he hit a slump before the events of the fic. I really wanted to get it right and I wanted to continue that theme of parallels, which is why I spent some time thinking about the mechanics of both of their abilities. Beckett’s is weird, a bit like Lovecraft’s, so that’s my *jazz hands* explanation for it. I wanted to end the fic with two kindred spirits going separately on their own ‘roads’ to redemption.

🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

So, I looked back at my YouTube logs from the day I wrote the first chapter. I spent most of my time listening to CrashCourse philosophy (the Existentialism video, in particular) and I also listened to/watched a lot of videos on Waiting for Godot itself and Samuel Beckett. But, I do have two songs that go with this: “Weight of the World” and “Dear Fellow Traveler”, for the first and the second chapters respectively. 

“Weight of the World” is a hypocrite’s song. It’s throwing the blame for a person’s actions at “well, that’s just how the world is” but also acknowledging that everyone will be the weak and the weary some time. People use the weight of the world as an excuse for their actions. Also, the line, “the long-forgotten have a habit of collecting loans,” just...strikes at me, for WFG. And for Dostoyevsky and his, “I was justified in every decision that I made.” 

“Dear Fellow Traveler” is a bit more light and I just interpreted it as two travelers wishing each other well on the road. And with Dazai and Chuuya having gained a bit more understanding, and Dazai’s conversation with Beckett, it felt right and reminiscent enough. “And I returned to my beautiful city. Black skies change into blue,” is the peace of returning to Yokohama after the big bad threat is ‘dealt with,’ and the two parallel’d characters of Dazai and Beckett thinking of the kindred spirit that’s out there, in a way, as they continue their journeys. It’s mostly Beckett’s theme song, now that I think about it.

🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

This was a philosophy fic that I started with no direction other than making Dazai and Dostoyevsky have a conversation on a road, based solely off of being two minutes into this video. I just got a vibe, and then I delved into research, which helped inform my decisions when I wrote it. I’m always looking for more media that vibes with me so I can consume it. When I write, I’m constantly evaluating both the emotions of the scene and the symbols that I use. I had to think about this fic in two layers, because Dazai and Dostoyevsky are so intelligent that I had to think of the surface and then the underlying meaning, and I was thinking of how cryptic their chess match looks in the current arc. 

So, what I’d suggest is letting yourself write to the vibe of your scene, if that makes sense. I follow the emotional threads and how a person’s thoughts would flow when I write, letting myself get immersed in the scene. 

I also had a lot of broad concepts: parallels, deicide, redemption, and I suppose what I’d call ‘forces that you can’t control.’ For each of those concepts, I tried to tie a person or object to them.

Parallels: I just made sure I had the characters who I thought were good comparisons interact with each other strongly (Dazai & Dostoyevsky, Dazai & Chuuya, Dazai & Beckett, Atsushi & Akutagawa), and also tried to subtly do comparisons in the prose. 

Deicide: it got lampshaded pretty heavily with Dostoyevsky talking about Chuuya, but it was also the entire underlying vibe of the fic. Dostoyevsky’s plan to rid the world of abilities is pretty Godlike. I think there’s a good piece of meta out there about Dostoyevsky and his whole God/Devil motif. So, by letting him get eaten stranding him on the road, narratively speaking, that was a deicide. 

Redemption: that was much easier. I just tied the road to it a lot, the actual one in the fic. Dazai was literally standing on the road to redemption. Also, I was thinking just a bit about the road being morality and the grass being immorality. Y’know, the untamed grass, unchecked/nonexistent morals. Roads have rules, yadda yadda. You’re bound to morals. 

Forces that can’t be controlled: I just did the concept of hunger and tied it to how Dazai and Beckett’s abilities worked. Cause you can’t control hunger, and...you’re not you when you’re hungry XD. And I kept that feeling of...some forces in the world, you can’t control, and that’s okay. It’s all about how you react to them. The world is senseless, but you’re the master of your fate, captain of your soul and such. Existentialism, yo. Make your own meaning in life out of the nonsense.

I suggest thinking of themes and what digs at the core of the character, and then figuring out how you want to try to display that with symbolism, metaphors, and their interactions. This was less of a ship-fic and more of a philosophical exploration for me, so I was very selective with the words and descriptions I used in order to achieve that effect. I do the horrible thing where I edit as I write, and then I just upload ASAP, because I can’t just put something down and come back to it later, that’s excruciating for my writing process.

TLDR; expose yourself to random things and look for what you enjoy in media; write to the emotional vibe of a scene; and figure out your broad concepts and associate symbols with them, in addition to making sure the narrative itself reinforces them. Think of the overall message you want to deliver with what you’re writing. Also research, lots of that.

.

Pheww...I always love getting to do fic discussions and analysis! Thank you so much, Dani!!! I hope that this answers the q’s and is entertaining to read through for everyone.

#fic meta #text post #answered ask #fanfiction #Waiting for Godot #cyanoscarlet #personal

[this-is-a-podcast-fanblog]

ok here’s my really long night vale meta

(I want to just start by saying that I love Welcome to Night Vale more than any other show that I’ve ever listened to or watched. I’m not sure if I would even still be here without the positive change it brought to my life and the art form it introduced me to. So although this post is critical of recent story develops, please understand that I critique with love, and that I have nothing but the highest respect for the writers and cast.)

So let’s get into it. 

This turned out way longer than I meant for it to be. 

Since the beginning, each season of Welcome to Night Vale is basically self-contained. The things brought up in them can stretch across seasons, but for the most part any conflict or Big Bad brought up will be resolved when that season ends, which typically is on June 15th. 

Let’s look at the first five seasons and their overarching in-season arcs. 

Season One: The introduction season. This season laid the groundwork for all the seasons to come and established Cecilos. The arc of the Apache Tracker was resolved within this season. 

Season Two: The Strexcorp season. This season taught us a lot about the characters, and about Desert Bluffs.

Season Three: The auction season. This is also the long-distance relationship season for Cecil and Carlos. Both plotlines are resolved beautifully by the end and relate well to each other. 

Season Four: The beagle season. Also known as “Who’s a good boy?”. The evil beagle puppy was defeated by the end of the season. I felt like this season’s arc felt very natural and was enjoyable to listen to. 

Season Five: The Huntokar season. A lot of things that have been building slowly come together. We finally meet Huntokar after hearing a lot about her throughout the show. The small arc of converging timelines is resolved, but as we will see, it later comes back.

So that’s the first five seasons. 

Now, as far as writing styles go, Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor are pretty formulaic. (This is also evident in their other shows, Alice Isn’t Dead and Within the Wires). I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all. Quite the opposite - I think one of the reasons why Night Vale is so endearing to so many people is because you always know what to expect: the complete unexpected. The world is weird and it doesn’t make sense, but it’s consistent in its inconsistency. You’ll get a community calendar or sponsor, you’ll get deep thoughts about life, and you’ll get a weather. Similarly, with the seasons, you’ll get a problem introduced over the course of the season, and then it will be resolved. 

But as you can probably see from the list I’ve written out, the seasons don’t exist in a bubble from each other. The things that happen affect each other. The arrival of Strexcorp in town was what eventually drove Carlos through into the desert otherworld, which set up the conflict for season 3. The tiny city under the bowling alley in season 1 was revisited to teach us more about Huntokar in season 5. Each season has a different flavor, but they’re all ultimately the same dish, if that metaphor makes any sense. 

And this is where we get into the issues I’ve been having with the most recent three seasons. My biggest problem is simple. They just don’t have a distinct flavor like the other seasons do. They don’t have anything that stands out to me. 

Let’s take a look at seasons six and seven, and then the first episode that dropped today of season eight. 

Season Six: The guest writer season. This season was mostly written with guest writers that would do a mini-arc of two to three episodes. 

Season Seven: The Carlos’s Double/Blood Space/Lee Marvin/Thanos-Snap season. Not sure what else to call it. 

The basic premise of season six was that it would be a bunch of character-driven stories set in the world of Night Vale, most of which were written by guest writers. To me, worldbuilding and characters are more important than plot every time, so I didn’t hate this as a concept. It was just... the execution honestly wasn’t all that interesting to me. I feel like the way the characters were discussed moved their placement within the world, but it didn’t actually change anything we knew about them. Tamika’s episodes, for example, didn’t really show us anything new about her, they just showed us how she acted as a city council leader instead of a militia leader (spoiler alert: pretty much exactly the same). 

My biggest problem with season six is that it set up a lot without actually doing anything. All of the best moments from season six were things I thought we would revisit later: who will be the mayor now that Dana stepped down? What is it Carlos is still keeping from Cecil? What’s up with the shipwreck? But then all of these things were totally forgotten in season seven. It was like the writers didn’t care. That may be because they were established by different writers, but it still feels... I don’t know, *Cecil voice* Incomplete? 

Now let’s talk season seven. I think season six was definitely the weakest of all Night Vale seasons, but this was a close second (and that shows you how much I love this show, because even the weakest seasons had moments that blew me away, and I’ve relistened to most of the episodes at least once, if not more.) Season seven, like season six, just had way too much going on. For the first few months there was no plot whatsoever, just a bunch of disjointed episodes with seemingly no relation to each other. 

And don’t get me wrong - I think a lot of these episodes were amazing. Are You Sure? was thrilling, totally game-changing for podcasts. Save Dark Owl Records was a really great look at Maureen and Michelle. I’ve relistened to UFO Sightings a bunch. But there’s a difference between enjoying episodes alone and thinking they fit in a larger story. And so while I really like a lot of the episodes of season seven... they’re kind of pointless story-wise. What disappointed me the most was the Kevin mini-series near the start of the season - Kevin is one of my favorite characters, and so while I liked to see him happy, I was annoyed that they forgot about him again after the arc ended and they moved on.

That’s because season seven didn’t really have a story - it had a bunch of stories. The problem is that they weren’t introduced until near the very end. We had the Lee Marvin arc that started somewhere in the middle, and I did like that. I thought it was cool to take what seemed like a throwaway gag and turn it into a story, especially one that seemed relatable. But running this arc concurrently with the Blood Space War arc didn’t make any sense to me. There were a bunch of times that I thought the two could relate - linking time travel to being trapped in time would be pretty easy, I thought. But that never happened. 

Then the Blood Space War arc nosedived into a pit of emotion after both Cecil and Carlos were erased from history, and I was ecstatic. Not that Cecil and Carlos had been erased - but that the show was taking such a drastic emotional change. It felt like a shift in tone, but also consistent to the show’s format, hitting that perfect sweet spot. I was even more excited when I found out that the resolution to this was that Leonard Burton would have to die again. That seemed like the perfect end to his (albeit brief) character arc, and a great emotional high for the season. 

And then the next episode was just... Cecil saying everything had been fixed. 

That really disappointed me. It felt so anticlimactic, especially considering the heights some of the other season finales had reached (I’m especially thinking of the dog’s ominous barking right before the finale of Who’s A Good Boy, and the town almost being destroyed). The ending to the Blood Space War arc felt rushed to me. I liked the close of the Lee Marvin arc, but everything else seemed a little off-beat. 

I think a big problem with season six and seven is they try to take us to new things within the world of Night Vale, but they do that in a way that doesn’t actually show us anything we need to learn. Eunomia hadn’t been in any other seasons and her backstory was minimal, so her death in season seven had no real impact on me. 

So why are they doing that? I don’t know. But it seems like the writing team has made the decision to utilize Cecil more as a voice for the town than an independent character, and are trying to let other people take the spotlight. However, because Cecil is by far one of the strongest and most beloved character, and because he drove most of the story for the first few seasons, this doesn’t work as well as you might hope. 

I hoped that season eight might go back to the old format. However, the first episode was another self-contained episode (although I do love Josh Crayton), so that has me worried. 

I guess I can say, there’s a difference between a story podcast and a storytelling podcast, does that make sense? Those might overlap, but they aren’t really the same thing. While a story podcast exists to have an overarching plot, a storytelling podcast just wants to put you in a world and let you look around. What I love so much about Night Vale is that it has always been able to be both. It has a plot, but it isn’t just a plot like many other shows are - it can let you walk around, run from government satellites, and NOT enter the dog park. 

However, it seems to me that Night Vale is forgetting it does have a story, too. There are still SO many things from past arcs that haven’t been resolved yet. What’s more, the show doesn’t seem all that interested in resolving them. You can have floating cats and five-headed dragons, but you can’t give up an essential part of your show. That doesn’t mean the show can’t still be fun to listen to, if they decide the plot no longer matters. But I think it will be a little less rewarding. 

And to finish I’ll just share my biggest fear: I really really really hope Night Vale isn’t going to become normal. At the end of season seven, time started working again. I’m so scared that they’re going to slowly convert the whole town to being normal before the show ends. And I think that would really suck, because it would change what Night Vale means to a lot of people, and what the town really is. 

TL;DR: although it is one of the greatest shows ever, Welcome to Night Vale has recently started to stray from its established formulas, tropes and characters, especially in seasons six and seven. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, I feel like the way it’s been executed has weakened the recent episodes. Seasons six and seven also tried to fit too much in without actually doing anything to advance certain arcs or plot points. Nonetheless, it is a great show, and I’m optimistic about the future. 

I’d love to have a dialogue about this so if you are the one person alive who’s going to read this, please don’t hesitate to comment or send an ask! Again, I absolutely love this show, these are all just my opinions, and my ability to critique the show exists outside of my adoration for it. 

Now I should sleep. 

#It's one am #this is not beta'd #and my formatting is all over the place #but here you go #please someone read this #welcome to night vale #night vale presents #podcasts #meta #my meta #cecil palmer #carlos the scientist #cecilos #all hail the glow cloud

[raeynbowboi]

Top 10 Disney Villains

10. King Candy Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Although he’s newer to the villain roster, King Candy was a well-written villain who served as a perfect blend of humorous and genuinely threatening. He also tied very nicely into the themes of the film, which makes him stand out in my memory as a good villain, because I take more than just personality and actions into account when judging characters, but also role in the narrative, and how they support the themes and ideas of the story. King Candy is the perfect villain for a story like this, which is why I consider him good enough to be on this list, even if as a villain himself, he might not be the most memorable among the Disney canon.

9. Gaston Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Perhaps the Disney villain we’re most likely to meet in real life, Gaston is the perfect example of toxic masculinity on full display. He’s a great anthithesis to the Beast, though I never saw him all that handsome, which sort of detracts just a little bit from the story. But in a story about how looks don’t matter, but actions do, he’s a great foil to the love interest. He’s a selfish hateful man who is handed everything he wants, and when he doesn’t get his way, he strongarms people until they meet his demands. Yet, despite his personality, he retains a legion of followers who are more-so admirers than actual friends. He never once considers anyone to be his equal or of sufficient worth unless it was helpful in his own endeavors. And anyone who has ever had a friend who basically used them and then ditched them at the soonest convenience can probably recognize that kind of so-called “friend” in Gaston. He’s a great villain to dissect as an analysis of our current culture, but I don’t want to write a five page essay on Gaston for a top 10 list. 

8. Yzma Emperor’s New Groove (2000)

Inarguably Disney’s best comedic villain (not counting her henchman Kronk), Yzma is a brilliantly funny character whose exaggurated appearance and over-the-top personality blend well with the fast-paced slapstick comedy that fills the movie. Yet, despite being a funny villainess, she avoids a major pitfall of many comedic villains by also being legitimately threatening and dangerous to our heroes. That, combined with the excellent writing in the movie makes Yzma so memorable and likable.

7. Mother Gothel Tangled (2010)

Although her actual villainous actions in the movie are surprsingly few and far between, I genuinely love Mother Gothel as a villainess. Her motivations are well-established, and she’s the sole reason the story has any plot at all. Comparisons have been made to the living conditions of both Quasimodo and Rapunzel, and I would genuinely agree that Mother Gothel is akin to a diet version of Frollo without all the genocide and religious superiority. She has to be more discreet and pretend to be kind in order to keep her little flower content to remain obedient locked away from the outside world. It makes total sense the way she treats Rapunzel, and her entire character, personality, and role all fit together to enhance the narrative of the story.

6. Long John Silver Treasure Planet (2002)

Arguably one of the most human villains from Disney, Silver is a beautiful complexity as he juggles the duality of being a father-figure to the impressionable young Jim, while also betraying Jim’s trust. Since Jim’s father left when he was a child, Jim closes himself off from people and seems adrift in the world. Silver, who has no need to trick the boy for his mutiny to succeed, still takes the time to take Jim under his wing, nurture the boy’s abilities, and form a bond. Heck, with how relatively apathetic Jim was, he could have manipulated Jim into hating being on the ship, and thus have him be happy when the mutiny sets him free. But instead, he chose to teach the boy and boost his confidence. In the end, Silver is a compelling Anti-Villain where it’s hard to really define him as a good or wicked person. That is honestly more interesting than just being a straight deceitful villain.

5. Bill Sykes Oliver & Company (1988)

Perhaps the most surprising choice on my list, Sykes was a villain from Oliver & Company, a retelling of Oliver Twist with stray dogs and a kitten. However, despite Disney’s family friendly brand, Sykes is a surprisingly menacing character. A loan shark and a cut-throat business man, he spends most of the movie threatening to kill Fagin which is far darker than Disney tends to get. While many Disney villains want to kill people, those desires were driven by personal grievances with that person or people. With Sykes, it’s cold, ruthless business. He doesn’t care about Fagin’s life. All he cares about is getting his money, and Fagin’s life just happens to be the collateral. It’s the purest form of cold-blooded murder, and that’s not a common thing among Disney villains.

4. Ursula The Little Mermaid (1989)

There’s a good reason Ursula is one of the flagship villains of this franchise. She has a strong personality, is a great antagonist, and directly plays off the protagonist’s weaknesses to win. Second only to Scar, and possibly Jafar, Ursula is the classic hand-drawn animated Disney villain to get closest to winning. The fact that she’s based on a drag queen is kind of perfect, since the fairytale was written by Hans Christian Andersen to express his love for Edvard Collin discreetly. He intended to give it to Edvard as a wedding gift, but Edvard and his wife purposefully “forgot” to tell him when the wedding was out of fear that he’d make a scene or announce his love for Edvard in front of everyone. Thus, the mermaid’s taboo love of someone she shouldn’t who comes from an entirely different way of living is a direct parallel to Hans’ feelings for the young Gentleman, and the mermaid being unable to speak and suffering greatly to be near her love is a clear metaphor for Hans’ own feelings of torture. So the inclusion of a drag queen in a movie adaptation of a covert metaphorical gay romantic tragedy is just deliciously fitting. 

3. The Horned King The Black Cauldron (1984)

Sykes got a place on this list for being genuinely intimidating, but this villain is living nightmare fuel. One of the best things a genuinely threatening villain can do is successfully scare you, and this villain scared the living daylights out of me as a child. In fact, he was the only Disney villain to truly and completely scare me as a child. The rest of the villains were pretty much just bad characters, but the Horned King was far more terrifying than anything else I’d seen as a kid. Though his movie bombed and the story itself was a bit lacking, the Horned King was a genuinely horrifying presence, and to this day, I can’t think Disney Villains without this guy clawing his way into my mind. Maybe as a villain himself, he’s a bit flat, but he’s a horrific undead murderous monster trying to snuff out all life. He doesn’t need to be that complex for what he is, and that works with the type of villain that he was created to be.

2. Claude Frollo The Hunchback of Notre-Dame (1996)

If Sykes made it to number 5 for the cold-blooded attempt at murder on one person, Frollo strolls into 2nd place for his cold-blooded successful mass racial/ethnic genocide of multiple people over a long reign of tyranny. Although we don’t see his treats on-screen, he very verbally implies that he has been executing people one by one for at least twenty years as he crushes ants. We even see him barricade a family with children inside of their house and then proceed to burn it down. This man is not messing around, and I love it. When it coems to dark, twisted, and messed up villains, Frollo takes the cake. He is hands down one of the greatest and most horrible villains out there. And the fact that he does this all in the name of God is a hauntingly dark reminder of the true cruelty of the medieval Christian church. Frollo was written in the original book to be a deliberate critique of the Catholic church, and I for one am grateful that Disney decided to be faithful to Frollo’s horrible nature when adapting to film. 

1. Maleficent Sleeping Beauty (1959)

Finally, we reach the leader of the Disney Villains. How could I not put her at the top of this list? She literally fights with all the powers of Hell. But what I like most about her is what you can piece together from the narrative. Out of all the fairies, only Fauna thinks that Maleficent could be reasoned with, and she feels sad at the idea that Maleficent may not even grasp the concept of happiness, or what it feels like to be loved. This opens Maleficent up to being a product of abuse, abandonment, and bitterness. Her hatred for the world and her actions of spite and envy come into a new light with the idea that it’s kindled from neglect and exclusion from others. It offers the question of what would happen if someone did try to just talk to her, and offers a possibly sympathetic reading of her character. But, the true crux of what Maleficent stands for is that she’s evil, and she takes great pleasure in her evil ways. She cursed a baby because she wasn’t invited to a party. When it comes to pure, unfiltered evil, Maleficent has that in spades. So, Maleficent is a perfect character no matter which type you prefer as a villain: the tormented outcast lashing out, or the heartless monster lighting the world on fire for fun. No matter what kind of villain you prefer, there’s a way of reading her narrative to satisfy you.

#my top 10 #my top ten #top 10 list #top 10 #top ten #disney #disney villains #top ten villains #top 10 villains #top 10 disney villains #top ten disney villains #wreck it ralph #king candy #tangled #mother gothel #yzma #emperors new groove #treasure planet #long john silver #ursula #little mermaid #the little mermaid #maleficent #sleeping beauty #claude frollo #the hunchback of notre dame #hunchback of notre dame #horned king #black cauldron #gaston

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #166

“you are my slave, my little fucking disaster.”

Are your eyes the same color as your mom’s or your dad’s? Neither's. Are you afraid of elevators? YEP. When was the last time you pulled an all-nighter? What was the reason behind it? How did you feel the next day? No less than a month ago when I was binging someone on YouTube...  Maybe Shane? Which of the following areas is going best for you right now: finances, work, love life, social life or education? Why do you say this? Lol only my love life is going well. All the other categories are on fire rn. :^) Have you ever heard of somebody doing something disrespectful to somebody’s grave? Or seen vandalism on a grave/gravestone? No, thank goodness. What is something you do differently, depending on your mood, environment, etc. (could be anything from what kind of outfit you choose to how you react when somebody irritates you)? Well, dress, for one. I'm at home, I'm permanently in pjs. I try not to swear around kids. Lots of other stuff... This question is pretty broad. What was the last song to bring out strong emotions in you? I'm not sure. Metaphorically speaking, what was the last thing to crush you? Finding out my cousin can die at the snap of a finger. You are about to die; what do you do with your worldly possessions? Give 'em to family and charities. Do you take vitamins daily? No. Do you know anyone that’s handicapped? Probably. Do you know any illegal immigrants? I did, but he got deported after he fucked up with getting involved in crime. Do you own any formal gowns/tuxes? I have one black dress I'd wear to certain occasions if I could actually fit in it, which I definitely could not currently. Can you sit for long periods of time? NO. Pretty sure my surgery caused a sensitive nerve, because afterwards, I couldn't and still can't sit very long without getting up being horrendous and slow. Do you have any cavities? Just one I'm scheduled to get fixed next month. What’s the most attractive thing on the opposite sex?
 Why do I like shoulder blades so much like why Do you regularly experience pain in any part of your body? My knees constantly hurt. Wish I knew why. Last place you flew to on a plane? Chicago, and I'm going again real soon. :') Does Europe or Asia sound more appealing to you for a vacation? Ugh both. But it's more likely I'll see Europe. Who was the last person to give you a hickey? If ever. He Who Shall Not Be Named. What is your lover's middle name? Jane. Who was the last person to flirt with you, other than your lover? I don't think anyone. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried it, not interested. What’s your favorite patriotic song? All that's coming to mind is "Courtesy of the Red, White, And Blue" by Toby Kieth. It's pretty catchy. Have you ever read a book about a character in a psych ward? No, but that'd actually be really interesting and maybe relatable to me... though that could also prove dangerous and triggering, too. Have you ever been in a mental hospital as a patient? Five or six times, I stopped paying attention at four. Whose place did you last chill at and with who? Colleen's. Have you ever been lead on? I don't think so. Have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex? Well yeah, we were in a long-term relationship, we were just about an old married couple just like "nah son we going to bed." Sleeping with each other was enough. What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Peasant, I won the D.A.R.E. writing contest in the 5th grade, I say hugs not drugs. Has someone close to you died of a murder? No. How often do you brush your hair? Every time after a shower and before I go out. Short hair makes caring for it so much easier. Did you ever listen to Avril Lavigne when you were younger? Fuck yeah I did. What are three things you refuse to ever do? Prostitute, abuse someone, do drugs. Do you have any medication that you keep with you at all times? Yes, anxiety attack med. What’s something that’s much more difficult than a lot of people realize? Putting on and maintaining a happy face with depression. Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week? No. Do you typically do your make up the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? It's pretty much the same. What is your favorite breakfast food? Cinnamon rolls. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yeah. When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?” Check your heart if you actually ask yourself this. Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No. Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook before? Yeah. Tattoos on your lower back - cute or trashy? Neither, reliant on just placement. I couldn't care less where you get tatted, the location doesn't *automatically* make something (un)attractive. Also, try to convince me how the placement of a tat is "trashy." What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried about? There's no telling. Ever faked an orgasm? No. Done something illegal to your car? N/A What scars on your body do you have? Oh, boy... I scar so easily. My worst ones are on my shins from scratching the fuck out of them after shaving, I have two scars from stitches, various cat scratches, a scar from bumping into the side of Venus' cage, one from accidentally scratching my hand pretty bad while washing my feet in the shower (don't even ask how I accomplished that), faint self-harm ones.  I have way too many. Ever date anybody in middle school? One guy. Puppylove. Ever written your number in a public bathroom or a school text book? If so, did anyone actually call you? No. Ever had an infection of any kind? Yeah. Ears, a piercing, a cyst... probably more. Oh, and I have inactive MRSA, if that counts. Would you prefer cherry Cola or vanilla Cola? Omggggggg, gimme cherry. Vanilla Coke is gross. Have you ever tried to draw an anime version of yourself? No. How do you feel when you are ignored? I handle this worse than the average person. No one likes it, but it makes me feel especially unimportant, annoying, and unworthy of any attention, because something must be "wrong" with me. I guess it's maybe an AvPD thing, like I interpret it as rejection. Name a site that you visit everyday. KM. I'm like an overprotective mom of it that has to ensure everything is fine. Have you ever led the prayer at dinnertime? If not, do you want to? I have on Thanksgiving. Would you rather play an instrument or be the singer? If I was actually confident in my voice, sing. Turkey or ham for Thanksgiving? Turkey is too dry, so I was all about spiral ham. Do you celebrate Black Friday? I just shop online if there's a good deal I come across. What song are you listening to right now? "Army Of The Night" by Powerwolf. Have you ever been bitten by an animal? Nipped, sure. Then occasionally a cat would play too rough. Colons or equal signs for your smiley face’s eyes? Colons. At what point were your parents most disappointed in you? I don't know. Have you ever had a tarot reading or palm reading? No, I don't believe they're in any way factual. If you’re no longer in school, what is something you miss about it? If you’re still in school, what’s something you think you’re going to miss about it? I miss at least somewhat of a social life. What is the greatest amount of money you’ve spent on a concert ticket? How much would you be willing to spend to see your favorite band/artist? Idk how much the Alice Cooper tickets were. To see my absolute favorite... maybe $300? Do you use your turn signals when you’re driving? I'll judge you the moment I find out you don't. When you play Monopoly, what game piece do you choose to use for going around the board? The dog. What books (if any) have you read more than once? Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari and Because of Winn-Dixie off the top of my head. What is something you like to think about while you fall asleep? Happy thoughts. Focus on something good that happened and stuff like that. How long do you think you could tolerate going without showering? There's absolutely no way I could go beyond three. Even after two days, I feel pretty yucky. If you had the power to instantly transform someone’s life (for the better), who would you choose to use this on? My mom. She's never happy and probably doesn't remember what it's like to not be a stressed mess. Does it bother you when surveys ask about political or cultural topics that could possibly be controversial? No. Does someone’s view on homosexuality affect how you feel about them in any way? Yup. How about someone’s view on religion? It depends on which and how hardcore you are about it. Do you wear Crocs? Set them aflame. What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed? Sara. Don't even mean that sexually, it just means I get to cuddle with her lmao. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say? Certainly something saved from Sara. Who was your last missed call? Vocational rehab. The person you have feelings for says he/she wants to have sex, you say? Well first if she was absolutely certain about wanting to. Then I'd be all for it. Do you know how many people your best friend has had sex with? None. KFC or Popeye’s? I don't like fried chicken, like at all. If you could have a neon light sign that said anything you wanted, or looked like anything you wanted, what would it be? I deadass want a retro-style, blue one that reads "but be very Jim" to confuse the unenlightened. What was the last thing to malfunction/break in your house? Was it fixed? Something was wrong with the washer. I think it's been fixed? Or Mom's doing laundry elsewhere. What was the last uncomfortable situation you were in? I was getting my knees x-rayed and of course they needed a billion angles, and I couldn't totally understand what the woman was telling me (very echoey), so I just totally ragdolled and let her do whatever with my legs, but she needed me to readjust a lot and just ugh it was awkward and I felt very annoying. Do you think it is awkward for people over sixteen to have sleepovers? No????? Are you good about sharing your belongings? Are there certain items [aside from obvious things like your underwear] that you wouldn’t be willing to share with anyone? It depends on what it is and who you are. Something I'd share with no one... idk. Will you cry at your wedding? I will get raccoon eyes the moment I see her. What was the last thing you sang? "Where The Wild Wolves Have Gone" by Powerwolf. Gummy bears or Gummy worms? Worms. What’s your middle name(s)? Marie Catherine. If your last ex said they hate you, you say? I wouldn't know what to say; I'd be pretty damn hurt. We've been friends since high school and he's the last "real" friend I have irl. Only one I ever occasionally see, only one who checks up on me. What do you struggle with the most? Anxiety. It affects so many areas of my life. Are you good at giving advice? I don't think I'm bad. Especially if you give me a moment to think on the topic. What do you want to change about your looks? W E I G H T Do any of your pajama pants have holes in them? There's quite a lot in my Batman pair. Old. What do you get cravings for the most? Soda, probably. Do you enjoy watching vlogs? Depends on the person and what I feel up to watching. What is your favorite Halloween candy? Nothing really exclusive to the holiday. Where was your senior prom held? The local community college. What was the theme of your senior prom? Don't remember, actually. Do you know what you want the theme of your wedding to be? If so, what would it be? Sara babe can we do gothic please I'll marry you harder. Did you have low self-esteem growing up? No, it became an actual problem in high school. If you’ve ever had your hair highlighted, what color highlights did you get? Purple and red are the only highlights I've gotten, I think. What color Christmas lights do you like best on your tree? ALL THE COLORS. What do you put on top of your Christmas tree? We tend to alternate between a star and angel. How many proms did you go to? Two. How many boyfriends have you had in your life? Meh, answered this in enough surveys, so I'll just say only one was serious. How many girlfriends have you had in your life? One. Have you ever had a “friend crush” on someone? OH YEAH, I've learned that I have more than once. Think I like someone like that, then nope. Were you ever homeschooled? I was homebound at the end of 8th grade. At what age did you start puberty? Idk. I just know I was normal. Have you ever made a wreath? No. Who was your first roommate? My then-boyfriend, his friend, and his then-girlfriend. What color hair did your first crush have? Brown. Do you know how to change a tire? No. Have you ever passed out? Once, came very close on I think two or three other occasions. Do you prefer notepad or wordpad? Wordpad. Do you eat raw cookie dough? I will risk salmonella for that shit. How old is the last person you kissed? 20. Where does your best friend live? Illinois. How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. Has anybody ever called you a tease? Oh boy. I fucking live off teasing. What about kinky? I was too much of a shy sub for him to ever see that side ha. Where was your mom born? Queens, NY. Have you ever seen your siblings naked? My two immediate sisters, anyway. What do people call you? Brittany, Britt, or Ozz, mostly. What are you doing this weekend? BITCH I'M GETTING MY MARK TATTOO. I made $365 + $20 sitting fee for the wedding shoot so guess what I'm treating myself to. Do you owe anyone money? Who? What for? My old college. Do you like people? Eh. Hard question for me to answer. I think I'm neutral towards the morality of humanity in general, but what's for sure is I don't trust the majority. Do you think you look better with a tan or without? Without. It's all I really know lmao. Would you ever share your most embarrassing moment in a YouTube video? That'd be flagged fast lmao. Regardless, n o p e. What’s your favorite hair color for girls? PASTEL COLORS!!!!! I like dyed hair on anyone okay. What color is your recliner? Don't have one. Do you wear makeup every day, or only on special occasions? Whenever I feel like it, regardless of occasion. What helps you take your mind off your problems? Talk to Sara, RP, watch YouTube... Does your first crush know you liked him/her? Definitely not. Did you ever think your house was haunted? I think my most recent might have been? But idk. Do you have any supernatural gifts or abilities? No. What does your trick-or-treat bag or bucket look like? N/A sadly. :c Do you celebrate Christmas? Yeah. What season would you want to have engagement photos taken in? As much as I hate the season, spring, with l o t s of flowers and sunshine!! You’re in line at Taco Bell, what’s your order? I only ever get a cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatoes. Has anyone ever taken your clothes off of you before? Yeah. Have you ever stayed up at night waiting for someone to call/text you back? Maybe? Have you ever touched a dead body? Dead pets, yes. I might've touched my old babysitter's face or something at her open-casket wake, idr. Have you ever had a real tea party? Or been to one? No. Just the make-believe ones Nicole would want to do as a kid with her Disney set. How do you feel when a mostly unheard of band (or tv show, movie, etc.) that you love suddenly starts to gain popularity? Happy for 'em! Just don't change your style for the sake of appeasing the masses. *coughmaroon5cough* When was the last time you listened to new music? Recently. Gotten into Spotify a bit. Do you think it is strange when a couple says “we are pregnant” rather than “I am pregnant” or “my girlfriend is pregnant”? No, I actually think it's sweet. You're in it together. What word spelled out looks weird to you? "Acquaintance." I can't spell it either; fucked it up first time. Do you require “closure” after things like break-ups or do you move on easily? I need closure. Is there a genre of movie that you just can’t watch? I'm not that into action. Have you ever been on a hot air balloon? No. What was the last seriously painful thing that happened to you? Getting my tragus re-pierced was actually pretty rough since apparently I have thick cartilage and it went through scar tissue. What’s the last rude thing someone said to you? Idk. What does your class ring look like? I didn't buy one. List ten careers you think you’d find interesting. Oh, jeez. Ten? Particularly interesting? I'll try: Paleontologist, biologist, cryptozoologist, zoologist, musician, YouTuber, dancer, taxidermist, snake morph breeder, and uhhhh. Idk. Do you know what you want to do with your life? Yeah. Do you believe in Judgment Day? No. What is the name of your YouTube channel? My current one is 0zzkat. What was the first social media site you joined? MySpace. Where would you most like to do a 24-hour challenge in? List five places. Bitch tbh I don't think I could do any alone lmao. But I'd probably find an old asylum scariest/most interesting. What’s your favorite part of Chinatown? Never been. What are some jobs people in your family have had? List five. Disney World employee, professional cake decorator, mammographer, special ed assistant teacher, and dance instructor. Which Power Ranger was your favorite? Wasn't into that. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Whale sharks oof. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Buy me that Reese's Blast thing from Sonic and I'll be your slave for a day. Do you believe in aliens? I actually do by now. If you were ever sent to prison what crime would you have committed? I've legitimately worried about me killing someone in self-defense but it being ruled as murder or something. @_@ Do you have a picture of you kissing someone? Yeah. Do you have a favorite pillow you always sleep with? No. When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? When I was at Sara's. Out of all of your friends who have you gotten in the worst fight with? That I still associate with, Sara. We were lil shits. :'D Who was the last person to have to deal with you having an attitude? Mom. If you had $100 dollars, how would you spend it? Save it to get my laptop fixed. You were given the opportunity to get a new cellular device, what do you choose? Some older iPhone. I don't need something needlessly expensive, just one that isn't actual garbage. Which of your classes in school is most capable of killing a good mood for you? Math was. How nice of a person are you, honestly? Tbfh I think I'm typically too nice. I'm getting better at taking less b.s. now tho. Ever physically fought with member of the opposite sex? No. Ever kissed a friend’s crush? No. Do you swallow gum when you’re finished? Only if I really want it gone but I don't have access to a trashcan. Very rarely does that happen because I feel funny trying to swallow it. Ever had a best friend of the opposite sex? Well when I was dating Jason I considered him my best friend of course, but if you don't count s/os, no. Have you ever kissed in the snow? Probably. Is there someone that you believe you will always be attracted to? Yeah. Do you have something in your room that you never want to get ruined? I would legitimately break down if something happened to my shiny pebble from Holly Hill. I got it on my "graduation;" it symbolized how something beautiful came from harsh conditions or something like that. It was passed around by my teachers and "classmates" for each person to wish me well and just in general say all they wanted to about me while holding it. With how that place truly became my messiah, I couldn't lose that thing, ever. Have you ever made a difference in someone’s life? I'd think so. My parents especially, obviously. Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? OCTOBER 3RD APPROACHES. Do you think dances (prom, homecoming, etc.) are fun or lame? They're overrated. You pay a lot to look nice just to stand around with shit music blaring and being totally unable to hear each other. I truly don't know why I went to two. What was the last thing you tried for the first time? Ummm blue cheese? What was the last thing you learned? Oh jeez, this should be easy with the videos I've been binging lately. Nothing impressive. How often do you visit your relatives? Like, never ever. When was the last time someone admitted to having somewhat of an attraction to you? Sara. What was the last wedding you went to like? Any pictures you’d like to post? It was beautiful and intimate, and it was an absolute honor to be the photographer. I don't feel like fetching pictures, but they're on my photography site and FB page. Has anyone slapped you across the face before? If so, why? No. Do you prefer to have more or less in common with your significant other? More. Would you take a shot of heroin for a million dollars? No, not worth it. Why don’t you talk to your ex anymore? Aaron: Drifted apart. Juan: He's a reckless fool I didn't want to associate with, partly out of fear of his rep, too. Jason: He wanted nothing to do with me.  He claimed it was for my own sake as he didn't want me to develop false hope, but who knows if that was the sole reason. Tyler: He was way too obsessive and wouldn't leave me alone. I still talk to Girt.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

[its-love-u-asshole]

Twelve Hours [Ch. 3]

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou has dealt with a lot since he was eighteen, each year bringing the same depressing challenges on the same depressing night. He expects this time to be no different, but the universe is trying desperately to prove him wrong in the most bizarre ways imaginable. So screw it, Kuroo’s only choice is to buckle in and hope he doesn’t die. Easy enough. And hey, with some new allies at his side, maybe he has a chance. Who knows? At least Kuroo is sure of one thing in life when it comes to March 15th, and he stands by this unwritten law, no matter what happens:

If you try to kill pizza delivery boys on Purge Night, you’re irrevocably a bitch.

Rating: T

Tags: Purge AU, mentions of violence but nothing graphic or too bad, no character deaths here okay, this is borderline crack and idk what I was thinking, first meetings, other characters, shenanigans and just…a lot of fun (it seems angsty but its not)

Note: Woohoo I remembered to post this today lol. I’m excited for this chapter and the next because the plot is really starting to pick up, so I hope you all enjoy! Thanks to @emeraldwaves for reading this over!

AO3

The first thing Kuroo noticed about Tsukishima's home was the sheer number of books he had. The walls were lined with towering shelves, volumes upon volumes staring Kuroo down. Some were flimsy with unreadable spines, while others sparkled with an untouched gleam. He wondered how many of these the blond had actually read, or if maybe he could borrow a few sometime.

However, the books were pretty much the only personalized aspect of the home. No pictures on the walls, no posters, nothing but frames with generic stock photos of fancy cars placed in them. It didn't fit Tsukishima's vibe at all, and Kuroo squinted at the unfitting splashes of color as he peered around the home. He was satisfied to find a disorganized and impressive collection of DVDs though. Guess he's not a robot...

Not that Kuroo expected that.

"Your curiosity is burning holes in the wall," Tsukishima's voice floated from the kitchen, and Kuroo was greeted with a sight much too casual for such a grim day. Tsukishima sat atop the counter, despite the barstools nearby, munching on his second piece of pizza.

Kuroo laughed, sheepish at the thought of being watched. Where were his manners? His mother had raised him better...

"Sorry, but, I kinda don't get it," Kuroo said, gesturing to the second floor. By his count, the home had at least three bedrooms, probably spacious too. Hell, the living room was the size of his apartment. The kitchen shined from a fresh polishing, adorned with granite countertops and all the latest kitchen appliances.

It was a family's dream home. Anyone's dream home. So...

"You don't get why I'm here alone," Tsukishima stated, picking at a piece of burnt crust with his finely trimmed nails. Kuroo winced. There went any hopes for manners...

But they were kind of breaking a lot of rules already. Why not cut the crap?

"Uh, is the rest of your family...hiding?" Kuroo asked. And if so, why weren't you?

"I live here by myself, no one's hiding, no one's out of town. It's just me." Tsukishima took a bite of his pizza, staring resolutely at the dark wood floor.

Kuroo wondered if he should change the topic. It wasn't his business to pry, and if Tsukishima wasn't going to willingly offer up more information then--

"My parents and brother used to live here, but they moved away when the Purge started," Tsukishima said, shrugging. Noting Kuroo’s intense stare, Tsukishima squinted, debating on how many personal facts to give away. In the end, he must’ve decided he didn’t care. "I think mom and dad still live in Japan, but my brother and I don't talk to them anymore. Things...went sour."

Oh.

Kuroo didn't have anything to say to that, for fear that he'd end up word vomiting questions at the blond. He'd always been a bit of a gossip, unable to resist knowing every little thing he could. This felt calmer somehow, less urgent. His curiosity was still present, but he figured Tsukishima would give him the answers on his own.

Kuroo could play it cool, one small question at a time.

"It's a beautiful house," Kuroo told him, chuckling at the way Tsukishima frowned to himself. Or maybe not. Homes were only as good as the memories made in them. "What about your brother?"

Caught off guard by the mundane question, Tsukishima sat up, finally blessing Kuroo with a glimpse of those bewitching eyes. Much better.

Hopefully Kuroo hadn't stepped on a landmine.

"...Europe," Tsukishima answered after a beat of silence, his shoulders relaxing. Kuroo took the opportunity to cross the gap, taking a seat in one of the barstools next to where Tsukishima perched. "There's a good hospital there he likes, and his wife is there. Since he's in a wheelchair now, he needs all the peace he can get."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kuroo said, biting his tongue.

"Don't be," Tsukishima said, his smile soft, directed in the distance. "He's happy there. No more Purge, no more problems."

"Ah, I love that song!" Kuroo exclaimed, helping himself to pizza. After all, he'd risked his life to deliver it. He was entitled to a slice.

Plus, it helped to keep his mouth shut. Tsukishima rolled his eyes, but the smile didn't fade, and they ate in comfortable silence.

Kuroo kept looking around the house, his enthusiasm falling from seeing the bare walls, the lack of possessions. If Tsukishima's family no longer lived here, the rooms must've been empty too...

The poetic, nerdy side of him wanted to make some metaphor to the Purge, but he didn't have it in him. When the night was over, maybe he'd come back and help Tsukishima paint a wall or two.

Also to nag him, because wow.

"I don't care what you say, living in this huge house all alone makes you the biggest target," Kuroo said, gesturing wildly to the large space. Tsukishima's rottweilers raised their heads at the sound, before deciding they didn't care enough to rise from their beds. "How are you not dead yet?"

"I told you, I'm prepared." Tsukishima waved his hand at nothing in particular, not at all quelling Kuroo's anxiety. "Not just the dogs, or the metal detector. There's cameras, there's weapons...and other things I’m not going to disclose to a stranger. Relax. Besides, it's a wasteland out here, nothing has happened since year one."

Huh, that was interesting. But Kuroo supposed rich people would try anything once.

"Oh? What makes you think it won't happen again," Kuroo said, chewing on his second slice. He glanced around the home suspiciously, wondering where Tsukishima hid the weapons. Surely, there must be some downstairs in the event of an attack.

Tsukishima went quiet, and the silence settled in the air like lead, weighing it down. Kuroo turned back to see the blond staring at him impassively, but with eyes that screamed a thousand words. "Because the perpetrators are gone. I told you, my parents moved away, didn't I?"

It made Kuroo nearly choke from swallowing too fast, the chill of the words shocking him into newfound sorrow.

Guess avoiding landmines wasn't his forte in the end.

"I'm, I didn't mean--"

"I know, I don't mind," Tsukishima said, carrying on like nothing was wrong. Worrisome. But Kuroo knew better than to trust Tsukishima’s facade, because that was a play straight out of his own book. "It happened a long time ago. We're safe now."

Kuroo didn't know if he was referring to themselves or Tsukishima and his brother, but either way, he accepted it.

And anyways, it wasn't his turn to ask a question now.

"No offense, but I never expected you to be delivering pizzas on Purge night," Tsukishima said a minute later, not sorry at all. "You were top of the class. At the start, anyways. I expected you to be a lawyer or an accountant. Although, your hair kinda ruins the image."

Oh, so you've got jokes now.

Kuroo poked Tsukishima's thigh enough to make him jump. Little shit. "Hey, this hair is a winner. And I've got time. I'm trying to make a little extra money is all."

He didn't go into his crippling doubts and unrealized dreams, or the fact that the year in question was the last time he'd been top of the class ever, but the blond didn’t have to know that.

"You must be desperate then," Tsukishima said with a smug smile, though it was ruined by the red stain of pizza sauce. It was less desperation and more...something Kuroo wouldn't think about, mostly because he wasn't 100% sure.

"Says the one who would try to fend off an attack by themselves," Kuroo shot back. "Well, and with the boys over there."

The rottweilers 'boofed' at the attention, but otherwise, they stayed put. At least they'd probably defend their master to the end.

"You don't know anything about how I purge." Tsukishima hopped off the counter, disposing of his trash in one of the bins. Kuroo followed suit, but didn't take his eyes off the blond. The subject was...a dicey one, but...

"You purge?"

Just the inquiry itself made Kuroo sick. He wanted to like Tsukishima, already did, but...Kuroo hated the Purge, hated anyone who thought it was okay. It brought nothing but strife and death, and he didn't care if people were working out excess energy or desires, they were part of the issue. Kuroo never purged willingly unless it was self-defense.

He watched Tsukishima as he walked over to one of the shitty car paintings, his nose scrunching up at the gaudy orange color. Yeah, same.

"Once, only once," Tsukishima said after an eternity. His voice was barely audible despite the emptiness of the home, but Kuroo was determined to hear every word. "I don't...I didn't want to. I wouldn't do it again."

Tsukishima turned away, facing the wall, but Kuroo could hear the guilt, saw how his shoulders tensed up. The relief was back, along with the new need to comfort the blond in any way, shape, or form.

"The first year?" Kuroo asked, assuming. After all...if that was when his parents...yeah.

Tsukishima shook his head. "Year two."

And well, Kuroo could tell the conversation was over after that.

--

They ended up watching Jeopardy reruns, and for the first time in a while, Kuroo felt smart.

"I don't understand how you possibly know this much about chemistry and math formulas," Tsukishima said, digging a spoon into a tub of ice cream. Kuroo noticed the other hadn't stopped eating the whole time he'd been there. Maybe it was a nervous tick...a Purge ritual, in his own way.

But yeah, Kuroo was kicking ass.

"Guess my brain remembers more than I thought," he said triumphantly. "You smashed the romantic literature category too, so I had to fight back."

Now all the books made so much sense...

"Also," Kuroo began, eyeing Tsukishima with fake suspicion. "Should I be concerned about how well you answered the 'you call that a knife' category?"

And he at last managed to get a full, genuine laugh out of Tsukishima. Much better than the gunshots and explosions outside.

"I told you, I'm prepared," Tsukishima said with a hum, scooping at the last bite of cookie dough ice cream. Kuroo followed the way his lips pressed against the spoon, suddenly craving the sweetness himself.

A few seconds passed however, and Tsukishima's neutral frown had returned, bleak as ever. It didn't matter what they did, Kuroo could tell the guilt from earlier had remained in Tsukishima's mind, as well as the reminder that it was the worst night of the year. Kuroo may not have known anything about Tsukishima’s own experience with it, but he wanted to help.

Even if it meant bringing up things he wanted to forget.

Ironically enough, the new category on screen was 'live long.'

Ha. He could dream.

"You know, it's okay if you've hurt people," Kuroo said. "I think we all have. Don't get me wrong, I hate the Purge, but sometimes you can't avoid it."

He let the words sit in the air, hoping they didn't anger Tsukishima. Kuroo wasn't trying to baby him or anything, it was how he truly felt about the situation. It pissed him off, but it wasn't totally useless advice.

This might've been too much for two strangers. We're not exactly strangers though, right?

Kuroo didn't want to be.

A few seconds later, he heard Tsukishima exhale, as if he hadn't breathed in hours. "I know. I don't regret what I did. More that I had to do it at all."

Yeah, if that wasn't a mood. Kuroo could've done so much more with his life if he'd just been free of this stupid holiday. It forced him into corners and boxes, ones he'd rather not inhabit. He understood. Regardless, he couldn't shake the intensity of Tsukishima's secret, if it could be called that...

So, he did what he did best. He asked.

"What did you do? If you don't mind me asking," Kuroo said, voice dropping to a whisper. Oof, alright, coulda done that better. It made him sound like he would cut and run at any moment.

Sensing their master's tension, Tsukishima's dogs hopped onto the couch, nuzzling them both. Kuroo needed to look into a therapy dog himself. Tsukishima smiled as he massaged one of the dogs’ heads, mulling over his answer while Kuroo tried to remember how to breathe.

"Nothing like murder, sorry to disappoint you," Tsukishima revealed. Disappoint? That's the biggest relief in the world. The air blew out of him, and Tsukishima snorted, but fuck it, Kuroo didn't have time to be embarrassed.

"I robbed someone. Someones. And it was a lot of money," Tsukishima said. "My brother needed surgery, I needed a way to get away from mom and dad. Back then, it made sense. Now I'm not sure, but it's done."

It was like he’d read it from a book or something, emotion detached, but Kuroo figured that was another form of coping. Tsukishima glared at the television, burying his face in the nearest pillow. He huddled in on himself, the sign of reservation and hesitance. Not used to sharing then huh...

Kuroo guessed he was the same. No one really talked about the Purge. The last time he'd brought it up had been.... he couldn't remember.

Wow.

Sighing to himself, Kuroo smiled, because there didn't seem to be a proper expression for such a feeling. But Tsukishima, who didn't give off the most open of vibes, had opened up to him. So, he was happy. As happy as he could be.

"Thank you," Kuroo said, smile growing at the sudden shock on Tsukishima's face. The blond turned so fast it had probably hurt his neck. "For telling me I mean! I don't think you should feel bad though, at least you did it for the right reasons. That's more than most can say."

Seriously...

Not that most others would care. Kuroo allowed himself to indulge in the small fantasy he'd created in Tsukishima's home though. That it was a normal, quiet night, and they were just hanging out. The weight of his weapons blurred the illusion a bit, but it would have to do.

Tsukishima stared at him, eyes glimmering, until he slowly nodded and turned away.

Kuroo watched the reflection of the bright blue Jeopardy screen bounce off the contours of Tsukishima's face as he sat, the cogs in his mind clearly working.

Tsukishima never seemed to stop thinking. Kuroo knew firsthand how it was as much a curse as a blessing.

But eventually, Tsukishima must've reached a conclusion. And oh, what a conclusion it was.

"You're kind of a disaster," the blond said a moment later, and Kuroo laughed so loud it concerned him. If a murderer had been in the house, they'd have been found in no time.

Well then. Here I was, trying to be nice....

"Oh? Never heard it said that easily before," Kuroo said, in between breathless gasps. "I was only trying to help."

"I wasn't finished," Tsukishima said, but his smirk told Kuroo the pause had been deliberate. Bringing his legs down from his chest, Tsukishima turned towards Kuroo, inviting, and Kuroo mirrored him. "You're a disaster, but..."

Kuroo arched a brow, intrigued by the light blush on Tsukishima's face that the television's glow couldn't hide.

Tsukishima sighed. "I guess, I wish I had talked to you sooner."

It took a moment for Kuroo to understand, but when he did, he felt the guilt creep up again. This time he wouldn't forget Tsukishima.

Yeah, me too.

And with any luck, he'd leave a good impression.

Smiling at each other, the moment seemed too perfect. Like some missing piece, Kuroo had at last reconnected with someone he didn't know he'd lost track of. It stumped him, but he felt like pieces remained missing, like he'd overlooked some things. They both had.

They could figure it out another time. For now, Kuroo wanted to sit in this moment, and pretend he didn't ever have to leave.

But, such was wishful thinking.

A crash rattled the whole house, breaking the moment like glass, and the alarms in his head began to sound like war sirens. Tsukishima reacted instantly, no time for shock. They were off the couch just like that, and Tsukishima's dogs were peeling off in the direction of the crash.

It didn't take much organization after that. There was no time for any other thought except survival. He exchanged a look with Tsukishima, and the blond nodded, wasting no time in pulling up the floorboards below them.

Oh, so that's where he hid them. Clever.

He'd admire later.

He took the machete handed to him, his mind racing with escape routes and strategies. He wondered what the best course of action was, if people could be waiting outside, how fast they could get to his car, everything.

Tsukishima's choice of weapon managed to break him out of his Terminator Mode™ because what the fuck is that?

"Is that a fucking flamethrower? That's not an authorized weapon," Kuroo sputtered, earning him a scathing glare as Tsukishima picked up the heavy artillery with ease.

Tsukishima paused, giving Kuroo a look that was equal parts hot and infuriating. "What are you a boy scout now? If I'm trying not to die, I'm going to use whatever the fuck I want."

"That violates so many laws."

"This whole night violates laws, like my right to living," Tsukishima said, standing up and marching in the direction of the crash, no signs of escaping. And uh....yeah, Kuroo couldn't argue with that. He followed Tsukishima, watching his back, and despite the tension he could hear the blond's irritated mumbling.

"The first night in over four years...coming into my damn house...it's the shittiest house on the block..."

If Kuroo had not been in full battle mode, he might've found it cute, but they had more pressing matters.

Like the huge hole where one of Tsukishima's bay windows used to be.

"Oh shit," Kuroo said, his footsteps slowing as they entered the room. He moved to face the hallway, in the event someone had already snuck in, which was more than likely considering the new entrance. The window, which had taken up a good half of the wall, had been obliterated, leaving chunks of glass littered around the hardwood, and on the grass outside. From where they stood, Kuroo could see the rest of the cul-de-sac, leaving them completely exposed. Fuck.

Okay, so he took back what he’d said about the flamethrower.

"That was bullet proof glass...how," Tsukishima mumbled, eyeing the shards on the floor with disbelief. It was then they both noticed the tire marks leading into the home, the black streaks staining the floor.

Not car proof though.

The fact someone was crazy enough to ram the side of the house with a car made Kuroo all the more worried. They were committed. Kuroo didn't dare walk outside to see if a car was there though, he wasn't that stupid.

The room had been barren aside from some dusty boxes, the remnants of what used to be a formal family dining room.

As if reading Kuroo's mind, Tsukishima huffed humorlessly. "At least this room's not important."

"We should get to my car," Kuroo whispered, and Tsukishima thankfully agreed. As equipped as they were, a fight wasn't preferred. Regardless of if no one had gotten inside, now anyone could. There were nine hours left in the Purge, and Kuroo didn't want to tempt fate.

"Let's go," Tsukishima said, forgoing any shoes as the reality of their situation set in.

If only they'd left right away.

"Wait," Tsukishima said, eyes darting down the hallway. "Where are my dogs?"

They both froze, listening for any barks or the patter of paws on wood. Nothing. In fact, with horror, they both realized they hadn’t heard anything in several minutes.

Silence meant death on a night like tonight.

Oh no.

"Don't worry," a voice said, coming from the direction of the garage just around the corner. And in that brief second, Kuroo knew they'd lost. He caught Tsukishima’s frustrated expression as the blond closed his eyes, cursing their foolishness.

"I took care of them for you," the voice continued, and Tsukishima stepped in front of Kuroo with trembling shoulders. Not from fear, but pure, limitless anger.

He may have hated this house, but goddammit, it was still his house. The notion became crystal clear to Kuroo, given how Tsukishima was prepared to take the first shot.

The garage door opened, and they both tightened their holds on the weapons. They were exposed from three angles now. The garage, the front of the house, and the side. Kuroo only hoped no one had snuck into the living room. The garage, and his car along with it, were now non-options. It would take a miracle now, or in less naive terms, it would probably take Tsukishima's damn flamethrower.

Kuroo definitely took back what he said earlier.

Either way, his chances of making it out alive now were slim, but hey? The night hadn't been as awful as he would've thought.

If anything, Kuroo was glad Tsukishima didn't have to face this alone, that he'd decided to stay.

He needed more time to come to terms with the rest of his regrets, but he wasn't given that luxury, because the next thing he knew, a group of masked men flooded the hallway, guns armed and ready.

#kurotsuki #haikyuu!! #adri writing

[aristarshower]

Questions tag

@dragonscanbeplantstoo tagged me in two versions of the 10/11 question tag so I’m gonna answer the 21 questions at once and put them under a cut so I don’t clutter everyone’s tl!

Thank you so much for tagging me!!!!!

1. What’s one genre you really love the idea of, but are disappointed when you go to read/watch it?

Fantasy. I’m just so tired of the misogyny, racism and homophobia. So fuckinh tired.

2. Feelings about fire in general? (where my fellow pyros?)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm no.

3. Which of your OCs is the kinkiest?

oh boi. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I don’t know????????? My stories don’t have a lot of romance or smut in them?(Not against either in other’s stories I’m just not good at storylines involving romance?)

4. What is the one thing you most want a fan to say someday?

idk I’m pleased by the smallest things. Just an I love your stories is more than enough for me. But what I truly want is the insanely detailed meta that fandoms produce like wow never planned that but thats neat kind of meta you know?

5. Which OC do you think readers will like the most?

Kai i think? ik everyone will hate aux cause she is a confident female character. But I’ve seen people fall in love with kai so easily lmao.

6. Were your OCs born naturally, with pharmaceutical assistance, or via c section?

I’m not sure if you are asking in canon or if this is some kind of metaphor?

But in canon, kai was natural. 

Fun side note tho: I have a whole world (it’s in the ideas folder for now. I haven’t written anything for it I think.) in which the difference between c-sections and natural births are really important and kind of form the basics of world building and the magic an individual can have.

7. What is the single emotion that is the absolute hardest for you to write? (loneliness, loss, hopelessness, joy, etc)

uhhh hopelessness is the hardest cause it hits me hard. But actually writing it is easy cause I feel it so much?

8. If your OC were a cookie, what sort of cookie would they be?

Kai would be oatmeal chocolate chip cookie

9. How important do you think it is to describe a character’s appearance?

I tend to go  under than over with physical descriptions. But that changes with the POV. Kai files away important info especially strength and societal position and hidden weapons because of his past. But Sacrus on the other hand is attracted to the shiniest part of a person(as in the most attractive like a brilliant smile or pretty hair or twinkling eyes) because his artist brain is already figuring out how to put it on paper.

10. And, spitballing off that, which OC do you think is the prettiest?

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm they are all pretty in their own ways but the thing is none of them are conventionally(read euro centric) beautiful. 

I’m putting the other 11 questions under the cut!

What cable news channel does your favorite OC turn to for information when something dramatic happens?

no cable in fantasy land. we have vampire telepathy tho.

One of your OCs is on an impromptu road trip and stops at a gas station in the middle of the night to pee and grab something to eat. They pick a drink, a salty snack, and a sweet snack. What are they?

kai would go for blood obviously, he wouldn’t really pick something salty unless he is in pain because salt is a vampire painkiller in my verse, he would totally go for cakes tho(sweet tooth idiot) preferably something blood flavored.

Your absolute most evil OC is startled by a toaster popping. What happens next?

the evilest of my ocs is an otherwordly eldritch horror that sucks life magic and color out of the world so uhh it would probably destroy the toaster?

Your sweetest OC goes up to the McDonald’s counter to get their order only to discover that after twenty minutes of waiting, the order is wrong, and this is the third time this has happened today. What happens next?

I don’t really have sweet ocs tbh but the closest is sel who would just accept his fate and drink the wrong drink. He would probably tip them too. But if it happens to someone he loves the barista would probs get a strong talking to and the drink returned(he would compensate with a bigger tip tho).

One of your OCs is in a Disney animated movie. What’s the “big” song of that movie? (Pocahontas’ was “colors of the wind,” Aladdin was “a whole new world,” Hercules was “zero to hero” etc.

None of them are straight enough to be in disney movies but kai would probs be let it go(sorry but it kind of fits him?)

Do you think having to write while stuck out in the wilderness by yourself (in a heated cabin, food and water but no wifi, tv, or phone service) would help or hurt?

help probably? unless i get terrified. For someone who loves isolation I sure am a wuss.

But not having wifi might hurt cause sometimes i get fixated on one little detail and it would help to just get it out of my system(like naming a character or some fact) by just looking it up.

You have written or thought about writing dirty fanfiction. What is it?

I used to be a fic writer lmao. I deleted everything so eh. I’m not gonna go into details tho.

Someone offers you thirty million dollars to ghostwrite a book about how Hell is real and all dogs go there, good or bad. Do you do it?

uhhhhhh yes? what kind of question is this? Do you know how many dogs I can have with 30 million dollars?????

You will automatically get a million dollar contract for anything you write, but it has to be at least five thousand words long AND you can only use as many letters of the alphabet as complete pullups you can do. How does that work out?

I’ve never done one(1) pull up in my entire life. How dare you?

Your dog turns into a person and writes a book about your lives together, and it gets turned into a movie. During the premiere of the movie, your dog turns to you and tells you that Hell is a place of our own making. What kind of popcorn do you order?

classic salted. maybe butter and salted if im feeling wild.(we dont really get a lot of options for popcorn in movies here? its usually just salted and maybe caramel? i dont like sweets oops)

What’s a genre of fiction you don’t think you’d ever get the hang of writing?

romance or horror? romance is a really hard genre to write tbh. (for me). I have mad respect for romance writers. Horror is a no cause im a wuss.

#about me #about wips #about kaiden #about kai #about destiny #sacrus is from destiny #my writing #tag game

[welldresseddadblog]

Welcome to the 12th instalment of the “Garmsman Dozen” question and answer session. The response so far has been tremendous. Did you miss earlier ones? There are links at the end of the page.

This week we welcome to the Garmsman Dozen Iain Trickett from Great Britain!

Who are you, where do you live and what interests you?

My name is Iain Trickett, 31, and I am the head honcho at TRiCKETT England… Well, I am the only honcho actually. I live in Accrington, Lancashire where the pies are plentiful and the skies are grey. When I’m not making clothes or thinking about clothing, I am found looking at Californian Tattooists, researching British subcultures, listening to hip-hop and walking my dogs.

Thinking back to your childhood, what were your most memorable or favourite clothes?

From a very, very young age, I was obsessed with sportswear and in particular training shoes. My mother was really into trainers and bought me my very first pair of Nike Air Jordans at the age of 4. As my interests developed I become interested in sporting apparel and the performance, however, the two items that set me off on a voyage into fashion or clothing were the Newcastle 1995-97 home shirt by Adidas and the LA Gear Gretzky One street hockey trainers.

First, the Newcastle shirt was just beautiful. The team that wore it was one of the great ‘could’ve been’ teams and the period that the shirt was introduced was a great period for sportswear design. The shirt featured a granddad collar, alternate mesh and solid polyester black and white stripes, piping on the three stripes and the infamous Newcastle Brown Ale logo. This item proved that football shirts were just for the pitch, but also fashion items that would be worn after the turnstiles closed.

The Gretzky shoes were something that I imagine went into a metaphorical sportswear landfill. Manufactured by the now defunct LA Gear, these shoes were unlike anything I had ever seen before. I used to visit Florida quite regularly with my parents as my mum had a great Aunt that lived in Clearwater. Most days were spent sat outside, basking in the sun. For a child under 10, this isn’t the most fun you could have, so my dad bought me copies of Sports Illustrated and other American sports magazines to keep me occupied. It was world unlike any I had ever seen and one person who stood out was a Canadian fellow wearing a pair of black and white boots with a #99 on the side. I later learned that this was the great Wayne Gretzky, who had just made his unpopular switch to the LA Kings. The boots themselves were pretty unremarkable, mesh and leather mixed together with some traditional hockey skate laces and the great one’s signature and number on the side. The shoes themselves were by no means a piece to keep in the memory of the sporting collector, but for me, it represented a gateway to a world I have never seen before.

How would you describe your style today, and what are your influences?

When I was younger, I used to listen to DJ Shadow, I always admired how he could take bits and pieces from all over the place and put it all together to create one coherent piece. I am not for a minute saying that what I do compares to the great Shadow, but I would say that I like to be influenced by all kinds of things. I am obsessed with Italy and Italian elegance, for me it isn’t necessarily having a suit made entirely hand in a tiny Sartoria down a backstreet in Napoli, or that weird sprezzatura thing that was cool a few years ago, it is more about being comfortable in your skin and having elegance with it.

I think I will always be obsessed with footwear and I believe dressing from the feet up, you can never go too far wrong. So if I had to describe my style it’s footwear-obsessed, sports-fan, who likes his pasta al dente and his top button done up… that probably makes no sense.

Most garmsmen will have a few “grail items” in their collection. Not to out you, but if your house is burning, which garments do you grab?

I think if my house was burning down, I would think about my new kitchen that is just about to be put in and whether the plinth heater would’ve been worth it in the winter. After a pause, I would make sure that I have my original deadstock pair of Nike Air Jordan Is. They are in a size 10, the original banned colourway and are just waiting to be worn. My plan was to wear them at my wedding, but not being married, they are just waiting for that perfect moment… Maybe my debut in the Accrington Observer.

Are you budget-conscious or spendthrift? Are you a single-shot shopper, or go large and buy bulk? Where are you on slow-fashion and buying less?

I think for many people, getting dressed in a morning is pretty stressful. We are at a point in society where we buy more, have more options and dress much more casually than our parents and certainly, our grandparents do/did. I would like to think that I am the kind of person that buys what I like and for the most part, that tends to be from smaller brands. I do like the idea of buying less and just buying a couple of very expensive suits, but truthfully, I am just not sure that works in the 21st Century. I’d love to be able to turn up to ASDA in Accrington wearing my Rubinacci suit, selecting which bananas best represent who I am, but chances are, I would probably get asked if I worked there. I do think we should make an effort to buy from smaller brands because owning one, I can’t stress to you how many different people are impacted by your £30 you spend with them, rather than oiling a huge conglomerate that doesn’t really care.

Having a large collection of clothes can lead to changing outfit on a daily basis, but if you were going to wear a single outfit the next two weeks, what would it be?

I genuinely believe that you can’t go too far wrong with a varsity jacket (either loads of patches or none, there is no middle ground), a really nice white t-shirt (no curry stains), very, very dark selvedge denim (listen, I am not a denim geek, it is just nicer to wear and everyone likes to see a flick of selvage on their turn-ups) and just a pair of very white leather trainers. In this outfit, you are a bit casual, but at the same time, who wants to be wearing a navy blue suit everywhere they go?

What are your best tips for buying?

If there is one thing that I have learned over the years of buying and designing clothes it’s buying stuff that fits. I know that seems like an obvious thing to say, but it really does help. I went through a phase of wanting to dress like a skinhead, the look is so incredibly iconic and its a really clean aesthetic. However, I know, now, that my shape doesn’t suit that style, I am very, very broad and not well endowed in the shin department so I just end up looking like a square in more ways than one. So my advice is, get something you feel comfortable in and then take it to a tailor, it’s their job to make you look good.

Big lads, don’t buy baggy stuff, you just end up looking worse and for goodness sake you don’t need shoulder pads in your jackets, go get them taken out. Napoli is great for many things, but in particular for making the natural shoulder in suit jackets cool. Forza Napoli Sempre.

Anyone that buys clothes will have made mistakes, what is your most memorable bad buy?

I have been lucky enough to work with Patrick Grant of E. Tautz and Community Clothing fame. One of the more famous items of clothing that he has in the lineup is the field trousers. A wide legged pair of kecks (that’s Lancastrian for pants) that are based on trousers that Naval officers would in the ‘40s and ‘50s. They look very elegant when worn with converse and swish from side to side in almost a hypnotic way. They look great… That is until you are wearing them in TESCO in Accrington only for an old man to say ‘Thas looks like a pillock in them ‘owd lad.’ I nodded in agreement, sadly I am not built like a model and the 42 rolls at the hems did nothing for the shape.

Do you have any style icons, historic or current?

I like to pinch bits from lots of peoples style, so I am sorry if this turns into a massive long list.

Sid Mashburn – his shop and Southern (American) charm are something that you always feel like he is wearing. One of the only two men I know that can wear white jeans convincingly. He also likes Italian tailoring and American football, so he is OK with me.

Alessandro Squarzi – A chap who can seemingly throw on any old thing and look absolutely amazing, I much preferred him with a shaved head, but that is probably because I am follically challenged. He is also the second person I admire who can wear white jeans convincingly.

Lino Ieluzzi – Milan just wouldn’t be the same without this bloke, great hair, great suits and great labradors. I literally don’t know what else you could want from life.

LeBron James – LeBron has literally made wearing his trousers too short in the leg his trademark. Obviously being a basketball player there isn’t much ready-to-wear that would fit him in the leg, but he always manages to produce a certain air of elegance about him.

My Uncle Peter – Only ever wore a rugby shirt and chinos. Every. Single. Day. I admire anymore who has an almost cartoon character-like wardrobe and sticks to it.

My mum and dad – Both have very different views on clothes and how to wear them, but both are passionate about what the put on and that is really all that matters.

Does your interest in clothes influence other aspects of your life?

Clothing does mean a great deal to me and I think most subcultures like to dress up. Be it new Romantics, skinheads, Teddy Boys whatever, I don’t think you can be into clothes without liking the things around it. However, my obsession with all things American and Italian pretty much means that I spend any free time I get there. Whether it is seeking exceptionally old shops in Italy or finding a brand new trainer shop in LA, travelling for clothing and discovery of the cities and towns is, for me, the best part. The internet has so many great uses, but it has slightly killed this adventures. However, there are still a few hidden gems that are on the list, that I am not telling you about!

How do you see your style evolving going forwards?

I think style is the appreciation of beautiful things. I always used to get caught up with the notion that style had to be something of the moment or it had to be something that was a set of rules set by other ‘stylish’ people. I think style is the word we use just for the stuff we like. Sometimes the stuff we like makes us cool and other times it can make us very uncool. However, I think as long as we are appreciating beauty whether that is food, art, clothing, whatever that can only improve our style. I hope my style evolves and my interests develop, I have an insatiable appetite for learning and I can’t see that changing.

Do you have a good style or garment based story?

When I was much younger, I absolutely loved Bape (a Bathing Ape), my friend and I were obsessed with this picture of the Notorious B.I.G wearing a camouflage jacket with ape’s head floating around in it. On the front placket it had A BATHING APE in bold lettering, so we set about finding out where we could get it. To cut a very long story short, we found a tiny shop in London where Bape was sold. We pooled all our money together for the tickets, bunked off school, bought the jacket, came home, feeling like we really had achieved something only for my dad to be waiting on the platform when we returned. I still don’t know to this day how he found out and whats even worse is that I never really wore the jacket much that me and my pal bought together. He was Blackburn Rovers fan. Says it all really.

Thank you for your Garmsman Dozen Iain!

Iain’s website is at trickett-england.co.uk and his Instagram is @trickettengland

Did you miss the first Garmsman Dozens?

Jon from Great Britain

Shaun from Scotland

Klaus from Germany

Roland from Italy

Daniel from Sweden

Enoch from the USA

Even from Norway

Kris from Belgium

Michael from Great Britain

Liam from Great Britain

Lee from Great Britain

PS: If you have suggestions for participants, let me know. Or have your mother suggest you, if you’re a bit keen to suggest yourself. My email is WellDressedDad (@) gmail.com

The Garmsman Dozen #12: Iain from Great Britain (Trickett_England) #trickett #garmsmandozen #mensfashion #madeinengland #accrington #lancashire #mensstyle #menswear #sportswear #vintage #retro Welcome to the 12th instalment of the "Garmsman Dozen" question and answer session. The response so far has been tremendous.

[betweengenesisfrogs]

OFF-THE-CUFF HOMESTUCK POSTS #6: THE TRAGEDY (AND SECRET TRIUMPH) OF JADE HARLEY, OR: THE GNOSTIC GARDENER

DISCLAIMER       FRAMEWORK

[CHECK THE TAG FOR MORE THOUGHTS]

[Note: Content warning for brief mention of sexual abuse and longer discussion of perceived suicide and associated thoughts.]

Let's talk about Jade Harley.

A common feeling I've seen about the final chapters of Homestuck is that Jade Harley deserved better, that she suffered completely unfairly and arbitrarily in the final timeline.

I actually completely agree. Jade *absolutely* deserved better. Where I disagree is with the argument that Jade's suffering somehow shows Hussie is a bad writer.

I think it's important to recognize that good storytelling isn't always the same thing as happy storytelling. Some stories or parts of stories are *about* suffering. They're tragedy, a form of storytelling I'd define as an examination of a negative set of events: why they took place, why the characters involved couldn't escape them. Done well, this can be as meaningful as any happy ending.

I mean, there's a reason a bunch of Greeks wanted to watch a series of plays about a guy who accidentally marries his mother and then stabs his eyes out.

So when we're talking about good storytelling in Homestuck, i.e.: whether character arcs reach meaningful catharsis, we have to bear in mind that the bad shit that happens to our characters is sometimes the very subject of the story.

In other words, yes, Jade Harley deserved better.

That's the *entire point.*

Now, that said, I actually think Jade does have a happy ending, and a damn cathartic one. But we need to understand the unfair suffering she went through to understand why.  What I find fascinating about Jade's arc is that she confronts the tragic, suffering-causing aspects of SBURB and the domain of Lord English more directly than any other character and finds a way to become free of them. It's not that her suffering was in any way merited or right, it's that by rejecting that unfairness, she finds incredible self-affirmation, freedom, and escape in a way that makes her the most direct manifestation of Homestuck's Gnostic themes.

In the causes of her suffering, and in how that suffering is overcome, Jade Harley is the key to the deeper meanings of Homestuck.

The Absent Grandfather

As a person, Jade has suffered unfairly on more than one level. Her later tragedy echoes and recapitulates the tragedies of her childhood, which makes it all the more painful. To understand this suffering, we need to understand her relationship with her guardian, Grandpa Harley.

[A brief digression: at this point, I should probably mention a recent theory by mmmmalo that posits Grandpa Harley as a sexual predator and Jade as a victim of abuse. I feel bad even bringing it up, because mmmmalo seems like a really nice guy, and I really enjoy his work tackling Homestuck from a psychological/psychoanalytical perspective, but I just can't really buy this theory. For one, Grandpa isn't at all characterized as capable of that kind of evil. The closest we come are some dubious feelings about Grandpa from Dave that are clearly him projecting his own issues onto Jade (he's never even met her grandfather), and the odd fact that Grandpa obsessed portraits of beautiful blue women from beauty parlors--discomfiting, but ultimately kind of harmless, unless you really stretch it as a psychological metaphor. To my mind, there really isn't that much to substantiate anything worse here.

Furthermore, the Alpha kids, as ever, offer opportunities to understand the Guardians in more depth, and there's little reason to think Grandpa would be substantially different from Jake English. mmmmalo posits that in DBZ-esque fashion, Jake hitting his head turned him good, but I just don't buy it, especially when Jake's "head injury" isn't actually real--it's one of his excuses for avoiding his own failings. (See the Jane's birthday conversation for how this plays out.) For my money, Jake and Grandpa are pretty similar: nice enough people whose biggest flaw is avoiding responsibility by retreating into the landscape of their own fantasies.

Ultimately, this particular leap is too big a leap for me to take, particularly because I feel like it would need to be addressed on a textual level (like Bro's abuse was with Dirk and Dave) if it was meant to be taken as canonical fact. I feel like mmmmalo's theories are at their strongest when they focus on the psychological experiences of characters, rather than when they try to posit hidden secrets in the canon. The first just feels so much more useful and reliable for me as a method, at least. No shade to mmmmalo, though: I hope he keeps on writing his own brand of fascinating Homestuck analysis for years to come, because he's doing stuff no one else is and it always leads to exciting new approaches.]

Now, none of this is to say that Grandpa Harley never had a negative impact on Jade. Her childhood trauma actually concerns him very deeply. As we see in the scene where she imagines him dictating to her in the foyer, she's both nostalgic about her grandfather and angry with him. She's filled with conflicted feelings about him, positive and negative at once. But the harm comes across in a completely different way, a way that's deeply textually supported and fits with what we know about Jake English.

Jade thinks that her grandfather committed suicide.

At least, she does for the vast majority of her life, until Tavros explains otherwise.

At a whimsical tea party with a plush doll, Grandpa seemingly, from Jade's perspective, took his own life. Here's Jade telling the story: GG: i spent years wondering about it! GG: when i was REALLY young, i was sure the doll sitting across from him did it GG: and for a long time i was terrified of the evil blue girl!!! GG: she sort of haunted my childhood and i had trouble sleeping for a long time GG: but of course i got older and realized that was silly, but then i just speculated that maybe it was suicide GG: which was just a really sad thing to think about!!!

Understatement of the century. This moment shaped Jade's entire psychology. Those who have lost loved ones to suicide often report wrestling with a mixture of grief and anger: anger that they were left to pick up the aftermath. For Jade, this was a moment of abandonment. Her guardian, who should have been there to take care of her, took his life and left her alone on a deserted island with only her (admittedly magic) dog to help her survive. For years, she had to take care of herself, to serve as her own guardian in his absence. Grandpa should have been there, but he wasn't. The culmination of the "increasing stakes" of the Beta kids' guardians is that Jade's guardian is dead and gone.

The scene of Jade squaring off against her stuffed Grandpa in the foyer is thus, like many elements of Hussie's writing, played for both comedy and horror at once, a true Hussnasty grotesque.  For some time, Hussie builds up the mystery of Jade's guardian (using, I think, Dave’s remarks and Grandpa’s weirdness to build a sense of unease), only to shock the reader with an ugly revelation that carries echoes of horror-movie jump-scares.  The man in the foyer is no man, but a symbol of death, a skeleton, a mummy, a rotting corpse in the place where a protector should be.

Grandpa's fatal flaw is absence itself.

[This is maybe the psychological motif mmmmmalo's picking up on? I feel like you could very easily read Jade’s feelings of horror and disgust as an echo of this suicide, and thus see Lord English as a mythic echo of Grandpa's absence as much as his presence. That’s my take, anyway.]

Hence Jade's anger in the foyer. He has left her alone, forced her to take up the responsibilities he failed to uphold. She pretends he's alive and imagines him chiding her for not being prepared to face the wilds alone--a situation she knows he put her in. Hence her snapping back at the corpse that she's already perfectly prepared, thank you very much. The scene mixes nostalgia, grief and anger in the saddest way.

This fits with the way Grandpa is themed around DEATH. Not only is he a mounted corpse, his collections of knights, mummies, big game, and degraded beauty shop photos evoke history and the dead, echoing his undead presence in Jade's life. (They also suggest he carries memories of Jake's friends: an orange knight, a pink girl from a land of pyramids, and a blue beauty, furthering the connections between Grandpa and Jake.)

But Grandpa, like Jake, is also themed around FANTASY. Or ESCAPISM, perhaps. Grandpa lives the life of a millionaire explorer-physicist, the boy howdy rough-and-tumble existence that never existed out of Boys' Adventure Comics and Teddy Roosevelt. His trophies and relics suggest a life of constant fantasizing, a retreat into his own self-image to avoid facing the world. After all, if you move to a deserted island in the middle of nowhere, you never have to interact with anyone else. This is astoundingly consistent with what we know of Jake's flaws: he constructs narratives to hide from responsibility and his own mistakes, from ignoring Jane's anger to ignoring the unaddressed issues in his relationship with Dirk to ignoring Jane's romantic interest in him the moment he finds a convenient excuse to do what he wanted to do anyway. Grandpa seems to be cast in very much the same mode, and his whimsical relics further the theme.  

For Jade, though, Grandpa's ESCAPISM has also been harmful. Because Grandpa left her what must have seemed the ultimate moment of escapism: a tea party with a stuffed blue doll. Think of what Jade must have thought later: that Grandpa went out lost in daydreaming about a beautiful blue girl. That maybe he planned that as a way to end it all. Her anger is fueled in part by the fact that he ran away from the responsibility of raising her, into his fantasy world instead.

Of course, as readers we know that's not true: Tavros was the one who, through Bec, shot the gun. But there's a grain of truth in Jade's perception of the situation: while not suicidal, Grandpa was being irresponsible. Lost in his silly tea party, he missed the fact that his granddaughter was about to shoot herself with a flintlock pistol. She was saved by Tavros's redirection, while he paid the ultimate price for his distraction.

So Grandpa's flaw, like Jake's, is one of absence and escapist irresponsibility, death and fantasy. Grandpa really did harm her by his absence. And in his absence, all he left her with was necessity.

Jade takes care of herself, because what else can she do? She feeds the dog. She does what she needs to do to survive. She goes about her day. She defines herself in opposition to her grandfather: if he was irresponsible, she will be responsible. She will do what's necessary, no matter what it takes.

And she represses the fuck out of her grief.

This is way buried for most of the time we know Jade, but it comes to the surface when we meet Jadesprite. See, in addition to having a reminder of her Grandfather's mortality, Jade has spent her life face to face with her own. Her dreamself, which represents the one place in her life where she let herself go along with fantasy and escapism, is already a stuffed corpse. Consciously or subconsciously, she knows that happy escapist world will also die. When she prototypes that body, though, she's acting out of responsibility and necessity as part of an effort to defeat the threat of Jack Noir. She expects that a version of herself will share that desire.

But Jadesprite presents what is to her the most nightmarish possibility: that she might prefer living in the fantasy to responsibility. She tries to comfort her alt-self at first, but quickly becomes disgusted that a version of herself could feel that way. But it's not surprising: Dream Jade was the only version of herself who could let herself lay down responsibility and necessity and admit to herself the extent of her fear. Unfortunately, this isn't the way Jade would like herself to be. Jadesprite is exactly what she represses. There's a seeming moment of catharsis when Jade and Jadesprite become one, but, as I've noted before, Hussie ultimately suggests that spritefusion isn't enough to fix what Jade struggles with.

None of this is Jade's fault. It's the way she's been shaped by the outside force of her grandfather's death. Her grandfather was flawed, she lives with the consequences, picking up the pieces of the loss, doing things out of necessity.

SBURB recapitulates that tragedy, forcing Jade to reckon with her trauma and her perception of her own relation to it.

The SBURBan Tragedy

Is SBURB evil? I used to see it that way. These days I'm not so sure. Conversations with revolutionaryduelist have shown me that, despite its dangerous side, SBURB is usually presented in a neutral light in canon, more amoral than deliberately cruel. It's a Game that can be put to different purposes. RD argues that SBURB is ultimately little more than an extension of its players' wills, and I find a lot of reasons to agree.

As I've argued before (particularly in my Self Pile Essay, though my feelings have evolved since), I strongly feel that the ending of Homestuck relies on a critique of SBURB, that it depicts the Game as inherently tragic. You wouldn't think this would jive with RD's notion of "do what you will," but I actually think these two perspectives can be easily reconciled. A Game that's an extension of everyone's wills can still have a tragic effect on its players, especially on those who don't realize their own power within the system. I'm sure we can all think of times when the wills of others were an oppressive force in our lives. Our critique of SBURB, then, is really a critique of the uses to which the Game has been put, by overpowering wills like that of Caliborn/Lord English, who makes the alpha timeline bend to him without realizing how much it echoes his own limitations.

Like Grandpa Harley, Lord English (the unseen conductor whose riddle is absence itself) forces others to reckon with the implications of his choices. The complex web of time loops and paradoxes LE leaves in his wake forces our heroes to act out of necessity and to take responsibility for their escape.

So while I might talk about SBURB in negative terms here, understand I'm talking about the mess of all the loops, all the implications of the many harmful wills and choices our kids have to deal with. Jade in some ways most of all.

Initially, Jade experiences SBURB as a positive force in her life. It allows her freedom and happiness; companionship among the people of Prospit while in her most optimistic, worry-free mindset. She participates in its necessities, its enforced time loops, not out of obligation but in connection to her dreaming happiness.

As the kids' game goes on, though, Jade loses Prospit and her dreamself, and loses, too, the easy release from herself that they represent. Like all the kids, she becomes aware of the threat of Jack Noir, and directs her responsible mind towards the necessity of dealing with him--leading of course, to her clash with Jadesprite. Later, this focus shifts to take in the true cause of everything that went wrong in their session: the unseen guiding hand of Lord English.

We all know what happens to Jade because of this. In the original timeline, all our kids' efforts fail, and all of them die in the events of Game Over, Jade first and most surprisingly. John retcons the timeline using his retcon powers, and achieves victory by changing the course of events. However, it's a victory that causes Jade to suffer deeply: in the final timeline, she loses and grieves John and Davesprite, her closest friends on the Battleship voyage, and for a time wonders if she was responsible for their horrifying, baffling death. Later, she learns from a mysterious sentinel (Alt-Calliope) that it was all part of a larger plan. This is a relief to her, but as much as she'd like it to, it doesn't erase her grief.

This is brutally, totally unfair. And that's the point.

I've seen folks point out that the retcon could have gone many other ways: for instance, merging the populations of the meteor and the battleship. That's true, but it misses the point a little, I think. The Retcon is an arbitrary solution to a large problem in Paradox Space, acting out of necessity to bring Caliborn's will to a close. Remember that John didn't choose how his retcon would go: he worked it out with the Game itself through his Denizen. Not only did the Game bring forth the very tools to end Caliborn and close his time loop, finishing what his will started, it also worked out the logistics of the timeline that would get them there. And that's the tragedy.

John had only the vaguest idea how his actions would affect Jade, knowing only that either he would die or people would grieve him. By working with his Denizen, he mastered his powers and managed to create a reality where everyone could escape the will of Lord English. But it created an awful situation for Jade, and indeed, he's horrified when he finds out that was the result.

For me, the victory our kids experience over Lord English and his will as manifest in SBURB isn't presented as an unambiguous one. Rather, it's triumph mixed with shades of tragedy. John's reformulation of reality has consequences. The loss of our kids' coherency of self (see the Self Pile) is one of them--I do think it's meant to be at least a little disconcerting that it's new versions of our beloved characters who get the victory.  And it's Jade who represents that tragic element the most, because she suffers the brunt of it. The fact that Jade suffers because of the Retcon tells us that for all the positivity of the final scenes of Homestuck, there's still a dark side to the system of SBURB.

Because there was never any point at which any of this took place outside the system of SBURB. It gave Caliborn what he wanted, and then took it back again, not because it had any intentions towards him, but because his will was self-defeating and self-limited. And through the Denizens, it gave our kids the escape they wanted: but they still had to deal with the necessity of responding to Caliborn's intentions, and perhaps SBURB'S own limitations, too. It could give them an escape, but not without certain consequences.

It's no coincidence that Denizens make a resurgence near the end of Homestuck. They are the Game's way of engaging in dialogue with its players, and they preside over every aspect of everyone's ending. Yaldabaoth gives Caliborn his deal, while Echidna signs off on the birth of the Genesis Frog once she's had a chance to inspect its guardians. Echidna is also the one who guides Alt-Calliope towards ending Caliborn's reign. And Typheus lets John become a retcon master so that he can win his friends their complicated victory.

Thinking about this has helped me make sense of a scene that initially baffled me. Near the end of Collide, the story turns absurdly positive: our kids win victory after victory over every opponent they were facing. And then, suddenly, disconcertingly, the scene begins to fade out and flash with static, while strange cries are heard. Then it freezes, and the mechanical contrivance that Hussie once used to represent Homestuck's Acts and narrative is all we can see, frozen in black and white.

Those strange sounds are the sounds that played in scenes with Denizens. And not just any Denizen: the specific whale-song we hear is the voice of Typheus, the Denizen who helped John negotiate his retcon and who, through blowing up a duplicate John and Davesprite on LOWAS, is the most directly responsible for Jade's suffering.

The message of the end of Collide, then, brought spectacularly home by this juxtaposition of victory poses and sudden distance, is that the victory achieved, while real, was negotiated by the systems of SBURB and Skaia every step of the way. This, too, is the message of the Spirograph that suddenly appears at the end of Act 7: our kids have left the Game for good, but the Game goes on without them, and always will.

Jade's experiences show what the costs of that might be.

The Gnostic Triumph of Jade Harley, Witch of Space

And yet.

And yet.

Jade also achieves victory. An even more powerful victory, in fact. In a deeply Gnostic moment, she confronts the arbitrary suffering of SBURB in a way none of the other kids ever do. She directly confronts the Game, and the cruel intentions unleashed through it by Lord English, by moving beyond them altogether and claiming her own agency.

It's Davepeta who helps her see it.

Once, Jade thought she was responsible for her friends' deaths. Later she learned from Alt-Calliope it happened as part of SBURB's cosmic plan. She was able to take some comfort in that: but it didn't keep her from her grief. When she meets Alt-Calliope again, Jade continues to try to make sense of her experiences through the lens of necessity, through the lens of a responsibility she has to fulfil.

Let's look closely at the difference between what Calliope says about the Space role, and how Jade interprets it for herself.

CALLIOPE: why the hurry? CALLIOPE: you have already proven your heroism in the moments when it was needed most. CALLIOPE: it is important to know when the greatest good is best served by remaining dormant. CALLIOPE: whether that burden is for close to eternity, or only a few more minutes. CALLIOPE: it is something to learn as a space player. CALLIOPE: space falls back. it yields. hosts the play silently. CALLIOPE: then, it roars to life when its time comes, showing all who is really the master. CALLIOPE: and so too when the time comes, it collapses in on itself, taking all else with it.

Calliope argues that Space is about patience, that patience itself is heroic. But Jade interprets this to mean that loneliness and suffering are a cross she must bear. As she says shortly afterward:

JADE: as a space player... someone who "falls back" as she said JADE: maybe being pushed aside by fate, and like JADE: being deprived of important people and experiences JADE: no matter how painful it is, or how much you feel like you need them JADE: i guess thats just how it goes for us JADE: i think i never appreciated how much of a burden your aspect was to you JADE: but i think im starting to get it now JADE: it just took a long time to figure out what mine really meant

But that's not what Calliope is saying. Alt-Calliope is talking about Space, to be sure, but she's talking about it in terms of her own role. Alt-Calliope is a very different person from Jade, one who is entirely comfortable with placing her identity and agency in the hands of necessity, with sacrificing everything for necessity. But what works for Alt-Calliope won't work for Jade. Jade needs friendships, needs her own life and happiness outside the Game in a way Alt-Calliope does not. (And a Muse of Space is a very different creature than a Witch of Space, a much more active and self-oriented role.)

And Calliope knows this, too. While she teaches Jade about her own understanding of Space, she doesn't ask that Jade follow her into the Green Sun, nor does she ask that Jade construct her life in the same exact terms. Again, it's Jade, not Calliope, who tries to suggest that losing all her friends is her Space-y burden to bear. Calliope, however, reminds Jade that they're very different creatures, and need different things:

CALLIOPE: you are still quite young, and your kind is soft. CALLIOPE: the ability to absolutely dominate is better housed in a being designed for seclusion, singularity of purpose, and remorseless resolve. CALLIOPE: it is too much for one like you.

(And here the domination Calliope's talking about isn't just Lord English's, but her own Muse of Space response to that domination, the reshaping of Paradox Space by falling back and then roaring to life.)

Calliope suggests that Jade might choose to go along with the sleep that keeps her from being a danger in the final fight, but she doesn't require it. Instead, she says:

CALLIOPE: if you must have advice, i will give you some similar to that i gave your other space-playing friend. CALLIOPE: i told her to live, where before she had not. CALLIOPE: so too, you are similarly imprisoned by various inertias. CALLIOPE: these weigh on you. CALLIOPE: you are a child, belonging to a race for which that distinction is understood to correspond with experiences of "enjoyment." CALLIOPE: perhaps you should try to have, CALLIOPE: "fun."

Calliope doesn't need what Jade needs. But she knows Jade is more than a means to an end. Jade needs fun, she needs friendship, and she needs happiness. Even though Calliope sees advantage in Jade remaining asleep, she goes out of her way to tell her about the alternate possibilities that might free her from imprisoning inertias.

This leaves Jade somewhat confused. She wants to make sense of her life in terms of the mandates and loops of SBURB/Lord English, fulfilling every necessity. But Calliope rejects that notion for Jade and emphasizes the difference between their species.

So when Davepeta comes along, Jade is wrestling with the strangeness of the Calliope encounter.

JADE: calliope said i was too strong or something JADE: but she also said i should have "fun" so JADE: i dunno JADE: i guess im just waiting around for the right moment

She's trying to make sense of Calliope's offer while still trying to see herself in terms of necessity. Davepeta, though, rejects that completely. When Jade tells them her statement above, trying to describe herself in terms of someone who "has to" be pushed around by the rules of Space, Davepeta responds extremely skeptically:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so THATS what space means? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < bein lonely??

Note the incredulous extra question mark. Jade continues to try to describe herself as someone who has to follow the mandates of others and systems outside her control. And yet as she talks about it, she reveals how dissatisfied she is with that notion of herself:

JADE: but i think that can be one of the results of gaining a deeper understanding of it JADE: or becoming connected to it more... JADE: i dunno, this stuff is all pretty mysterious :p JADE: i dont have it all figured out yet obviously JADE: i just feel pretty sad that as i get closer to understanding my abilities and true nature JADE: it apparently means being deprived of some important experiences JADE: like i get closer to my aspect, but further away from everyone i love, and further from... JADE: feeling like a person? JADE: its just a really empty feeling after a while JADE: empty like... JADE: space i guess JADE: heh

I don't think we're to take this as an absolute statement. While there's truth in Calliope's depiction of space as receptive and patient. I think we're to take these lines as Jade wrestling with her own feelings about the way she should be. Davepeta doesn't argue that Jade should accept this description of herself. Instead, Davepeta opens up a startling alternate possibility: that Jade is more than necessity, bigger than her circumstances, larger than her suffering. If Jade's suffering is an echo of the arbitrary unfairness of the way SBURB divides up our protagonists' selves to bring Lord English to an end, then Davepeta suggests that the key to escaping suffering is to see the self beyond those individual identities:

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but you werent actually deprived of important experiences DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < stuff like us dating and johns stupid birthday parties and playing shitty ghostbuster mmos DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < that stuff all happened to you, its just you dont have access to the memories DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < they didnt happen to shape this particular version of yourself DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but they all played a role in helping like "greater jade" grow if that makes sense DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < everything that ever happens to every version of you is an important part of your ultimate self... like a superceding bodyless and timeless persona that crosses the boundaries of paradox space and unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but in your physical form there are all these partitions in your mind that prevent you from remembering any of that which makes your existence f33l totally linear DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < which is probably for the best! DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in a regular body s33ing all that would be too overwhelming DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < in an advanced sprite form like mine tho its fine DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < i guess the same spritey magic that makes it possible to suddenly understand so much is also what makes it possible to make it bearable all at once DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < not even just bearable actually sorta liberating and cool DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and after it sinks in for a while you start coming to this understanding of a greater self

AVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < im not COMPLETELY sure because im not like some sort of ASPECT MASTER but DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my avian slash feline intuition tells me that all roads will lead you here eventually DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < gaining the d33pest possible understanding of any aspect will bring you to the same final conclusion about your ultimate self DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so maybe thats starting to happen for you too DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the space aspect sounds like a hard and lonely road to travel... i think they probably all are DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but youre gettin there jade DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you are doing great and im so proud of you!

Once again, this isn't Davepeta saying that Jade needs to be happy about what's happened to her--they acknowledge that living in SBURB is painful, a hard and lonely road for anyone of any aspect. But seeing oneself as this "ultimate self" allows one to see a bigger picture, to find meaning in one's actions even when buffeted by what seems to be the cruelty of fate. In a Game whose tragedy is that divides people up into different manifestations of themselves, each going to an arbitrary fate, that's the way to find victory, to find happiness beyond each tragedy. That's the balance that Homestuck's ending is deeply concerned with, and Jade Harley represents it all: both the suffering and the remedy.

Davepeta's proud of her for coming this far. I'm proud of her, too.

But does this understanding work for Jade? Does it free her from the way she saw herself as an instrument of fate, a tool of necessity? I think it does. Because after talking with Davepeta, Jade starts to live her life differently.

We see this clearly in Collide and the events leading up to Collide. Jade was ready to accept that she had to stay asleep merely because it was what others expected of her. But Davepeta convinces her that she should wake up if she wants to wake up:

JADE: i guess im just waiting around for the right moment DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < nah thats dumb DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you should be able to do whatever you want JADE: really? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < well at least she was right about the having fun part DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe thats what she meant?? DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < maybe she was leaving it up to you in a mysterious way JADE: leaving what up to me? JADE: the decision to wake up?

Davepeta's message to Jade, informed by their deep understanding of life beyond one lifetime, is that Jade can do things for herself, rather than do them as a reaction to necessity. And the secret is that that choice makes all the difference.

Jade does choose to wake up, and after waking up, rejects any idea that she should go back to following necessity, or other people’s commands:

DAVE: jade DAVE: god dammit DAVE: GO BACK TO SLEEP! JADE: NO WAY!!!!! :P

JADE: i am very much awake! JADE: and i intend to stay that way :)

Jade chooses to take Calliope up on her offer: she chooses to go have fun. For the first time, she pursues her goals completely and utterly for her own reasons. She chooses to take on the mission of dealing with the Omnidogs Bec Noir and PM...pretty much because she wants to. And she does it in her own way: she doesn't get in a fight, but plays with her dogs, recreating the fun times in her life with Bec by warping around and dancing around in the sky with them.

While she ends up getting punched out by PM, it's mostly comic: she isn't hurt or upset--she had a fun time, and did what she wanted to do. She's asserting her own agency, not responding to the will of anyone else, be it Lord English, Dave, John, or any of the other players. She takes on SBURB's boss mechanics in her own terms and enjoys herself doing it. And what she's able to achieve by this is *reshaping the rules of the Game.* Because of her, PM beats Bec Noir. For the first time in the known history of SBURB, White beats Black, Prospit beats Derse, entirely thanks to her presence. This change is subtle but huge. It represents what Jade's doing on a cosmic level: she's creating the Game, creating her reality, for herself, not responding to anyone else's intention, but putting forth her own to shape the world.

The Gnostics of ancient times said that the material world we lived in was merely an illusion created by the tyrant Yaldabaoth, and that all we needed to do to escape his tyranny was to look within ourselves. Because we were made of the same stuff as the True God, filled with the same wisdom as Sophia, and if we could truly know ourselves, could know exactly who we were, we could walk back through the gates into the Garden of Eden, knowing that we were God, part of a true divine reality bigger than anything Yaldabaoth could understand.

So, too, does Jade Harley, GardenGnostic, in that moment, know that she is bigger than anything that once defined her. Not her grandfather's death and failings, not her role as a link in the prophecies of Skaia, not Jack Noir, and not the limitations of a single Jade in a tragic timeline. None of those things define her. She is greater still, the JADE beyond Jades, and she has just as much power to make SBURB, to make all of Paradox Space what she wants it to be as any would-be tyrant. She stares Lord English in the eye, and knows she is as great within this contest of wills as he is. They all are.

And that makes Jade a little bit different from her fellow gods: she knows in full what the rest of them are only beginning to understand.

When we next see Jade after Act 7, in the Credits sequence, we see her growing plants again after a long time away from her garden, returning to her own personal Eden, and we see her spending time with John, Dave, and Karkat--all the people that she loves.

Knowing who she is, she has escaped all the inertias that once bound her, and is turning reality into what she wants it to be.

In the world of SBURB, that's the way to find a happy ending.

[Next time: Maybe I’ll do that reception of the ending thing I promised last time? Or maybe not? Maybe I’ll be too busy playing Hiveswap? Maybe life is full of infinite delicious possibilities, and we’re all riding this magic train out to the Pleroma together? Who knows, man. Who knows.]

#jade harley #grandpa harley #homestuck analysis #jake english #homestuck #off-the-cuff homestuck thoughts extravaganza 2017 #gnostic influences #gnostic themes #alt calliope #space aspect #freedom to live #THE ULTIMATE SELF #homestuck ending #understanding homestuck #suicide cw #csa mention

[ravenvsfox]

Sell the raven cycle to me. Why should i read it? What's so good about it?

man that’s a tall order lemme do my best here

1. The characters are very difficult jigsaw puzzle people. They’re wedged in the middle of adulthood and childhood, and magical realism is sprinkled over top of that awkwardness so that we feel very situated in that exact space and time of lost & messing up & family not being enough anymore/friendship being all you can see. And it’s not just the main characters, it’s a spectrum of cameos from people so vivid that you could hitch a ride to a whole other series on their backs. It’s this mass of interconnected lovers and churchgoers and rich boys and school-haters and hard-asses and scared kids and witches and characters that don’t quite know whether to be alive or dead.

Every person is lovingly invented to be difficult to parse upon first glance. they’re magic-eye people. You know when you’re at the optometrist and they put down slides on their big ol’ eye contraption and ask you to tell them when things get clear? it’s kind of like that. You’ve gotta keep accumulating lenses and when it’s finally clear you realize you don’t know where or how the difference set in. And better yet, the characters feel that way too -- you’ve got unreliable points of view from everyone from villains to leads to sentient forests, figuring each other out, growing and misunderstanding and loving from afar. Everything has a voice, even birds and trees. This book is made of too many voices in too many languages and all you can do is sit down and be very still and listen (jot that down)

2. The plot/magic in this book are compelling as all hell, and they wind and trip and fall, but it’s worth climbing in and letting the car speed so your head rattles or the magical forest turn you around until you get lost. It’s just the right balance of relatable teenaged disasters and wholly un-relatable living nightmares and hitmen and possession via nature and ghosts and old old old magicians. Somehow pizza with the gang transmutes quietly into burying the carcass of a monster, tennis during the day becomes deadly streaking car racing until someone wins or dies. The books never let up, they go and go and talk about how much they’re going and throw too much at you.

It’s frustrating actually, the way you’re breathless for four entire novels. There are so many loose ends that you start writing ways to tie them together in your head before you’ve even finished. Impossible things represent gritty reality at every turn, you have manifestations of real depression, escapism from real abuse, resentment of real neglectful parents. You have a mosaic of things that hurt so much that they’ve become magic so that we can stand to look at them. trc wants you to look at a kissing curse and a dead king and quietly put them aside until you need them again. If you only read the back of the book, you’re brushing fingers against a scapegoat for a host of things that are much realer.

3. The writing knows what it’s doing. It needles its way into pretentious territory, but I can’t pretend that trc didn’t burrow into my writing style and rearrange things. The writing feels like.. i don’t know man like you’re holding a beating heart in your hand and watching it sputter and try to keep going, and it’s fucking amazing to witness even though you know it can’t last forever. You can see the mechanism of it and gore of it, but you keep watching and waiting. There are so many plain little to the point sentences that fit into the grand scheme of things so perfectly that you just. sob. and there are so many intricate metaphors and frank magical descriptions and charming, human ways of saying something that isn’t charming or human. 

It’s a hell of a series. It knows when to open the door, it trusts that you’ll come through it. It makes you hurt so bad for a friendship that hurtles down like an asteroid and ruins everything but you. It makes you feel a little better about whatever ancient welsh king you’re looking for, whatever night horror is ripping up your head space. It makes you dog-ear every other page because the dialogue is so unnecessarily clever and the descriptions sit right in your throat where you almost choke on them.

It’s not perfect. But it singlehandedly made me start reading again (heart in mouth 4 am reading, buying the ebook the second it comes out reading, crying at lines that shouldn’t be cried at reading), what put things in motion for me to make a funny little book blog called ravenvsfox

I can’t promise that you’ll like it, but I think the mess is beautiful & youthful and there are miles of slack to make it whatever you’d like. I hope you pick The Raven Boys up and see where they drive you in their stupid orange car.

#why can't i write like...... not a thousand word book report #trc #the raven cycle #Anonymous #ask

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 40: On the Run

"That’s not my home.”

Anxiety and depression are two sides of the same coin, separated by opposing degrees of certainty. Depression tells you to dread the future because bad things will definitely happen. Anxiety tells you to worry about the future because who KNOWS what’s going to happen, yikes, things could go REALLY BAD. Depression tells you to zero in on awful things from your past and remember that there’s nothing you can do about it. Anxiety tells you that oh man if you’d just done that one thing differently life might be better, or heck, life might be WORSE, so hopefully you won’t get lost in a time vortex and screw things up, oh no, one more thing to worry about! Depression tells you that nobody cares about you. Anxiety makes you cripplingly unsure, because what if your friends are just pretending and your parents are just tolerating you, but what if that’s all in your head and everything’s fine but people find out you’re worried about this and think you’re crazy?

When depression gets its way, you’re a passive mess accepting a miserable fate. When anxiety gets its way, you’re an active mess stressing yourself into a panic about possibilities. And a lot of us get to have both!

Amethyst and Pearl are sad in a way that Garnet and Steven fundamentally aren’t, but this sadness takes two distinct paths. Pearl’s is certain and passive where Amethyst’s is uncertain and active. Pearl is Depression, and Amethyst is Anxiety.

Of course, this isn’t (and shouldn’t be) a perfect metaphor, because like most actual people with anxiety or depression, both Gems have elements of both disorders: recall Pearl’s many anxious fits and Amethyst’s depressive slumps. Moreover, it’s important not to diagnose fictional characters with real disorders when you don’t have a medical license and the characters don’t have the physical brains required to even have human mental illnesses. But as a representative exercise, Pearl appeals to my despondency while Amethyst appeals to my overthinking. Pearl often lets negativity engulf her, but Amethyst internalizes and dwells on it until she explodes.

On the Run is one such explosion. Except for a single joke-based hint in Steven’s Lion (“We kept Amethyst”) there’s been no reason to believe that Amethyst has a different origin than Garnet or Pearl, but it’s soon clear that Kindergarten is never far from her thoughts. Our excursion solidifies Amethyst as a character who’s always worried about how people see her—which, I mean, she’s a shapeshifter, come on—and that she’ll never measure up to the roles she’s supposed to play. She’s supposed to be part of a team that fought the Homeworld Gems, but she’s the direct product of the invasion. She’s supposed to be a mighty Quartz warrior, but she’s an overcooked runt. She’s supposed to be one of Steven’s guardians, but she’s still treated like Garnet and Pearl’s kid sister half the time. Pressure squeezes away her self-esteem until she sees an opportunity to bond with Steven, and they immediately bounce.

The conflict of On the Run hinges on Amethyst’s anxiety blending with her middle-child syndrome. This isn’t Tiger Millionaire, focusing on Steven and Amethyst, or Giant Woman and Secret Team, focusing on Amethyst and Pearl. This is about how both of these relationships pull Amethyst in different directions.

The prompt here is Pearl’s explanation of the Homeworld invasion, which pointedly omits Amethyst from the group of rebels led by Rose Quartz. We can see that Amethyst is mad, and gets madder as Pearl dances around the “bad” thing Homeworld was doing, but at first viewing one could easily read her reaction as anger over being ignored. Miniature twists like these do wonders for the show’s rewatchability.

After a welcome aside commenting on old-school book series like The Boxcar Children and The Hardy Boys (complete with criticism of their ridiculous comic counterparts), Steven and Amethyst are off! 

On the Run (the song) has two important achievements beyond being a great tune. First, it speeds our characters from Steven’s room to the open rails and gives us a little journey without using too many of the show’s eleven minutes. Second, it ensures our understanding that Steven and Amethyst are in separate places. We begin with Steven singing alone, highlighting the silly hopefulness of running away on a whim. Then we have a whistle solo (courtesy of the sequence’s songwriter/co-storyboarder and resident guitarist Jeff Liu), giving a nostalgic, adventurous interlude to reinforce how fun this whole thing is. But then, as Steven continues to obliviously enjoy himself, Amethyst reveals that she’s still dwelling on Pearl. It all culminates in the same line, “Home’s a place that I have never known,” sung from opposite perspectives—one goofy, one wistful—before a gorgeous final shot sets a somber tone for the rest of the episode. 

Amethyst reverts to her usual demeanor as soon she’s home, reversing her and Steven’s chipper/wary dynamic from the song. I wonder how grade-school kids grapple with the fact that the ominous canyon full of bacteriophage drills we spend most of the episode in is called “the Kindergarten.” Does it tap into their budding sense of irony to see a class they aren’t far removed from associated with such a scary setting? Do they think the name is funny, in the way Fluffy the three-headed dog from Harry Potter is? Regardless, as an adult, I love love love the name of this literal garden that grows children.

Amethyst’s light attitude helps keep the Kindergarten’s dim lighting and eerie soundscape (the music, sure, but also those clangs) from getting too frightening, but it’s still a hell of a place. In a rare moment of asking the right questions, Steven voices the viewer’s concerns over just how many Amethyst-shaped holes there are in the walls, and all that they imply. But Amethyst is just happy to give him a tour.

Because when she’s around Steven, she gets to be the cool big sister that runs away with him and tells him all the secrets the grown-ups don’t want him to know. He, and we, wouldn’t get this introduction to the Kindergarten without Amethyst’s desire to bond, and maybe show off a little. She’s not ashamed of her background, instead proud to position her earthling status as something she and Steven share.

It’s only when bigger sister Pearl shows up that Amethyst’s sour mood returns. Telling Steven the full truth is against the rules, it seems—who would’ve thought a team founded by Pink Diamond might be against telling the truth?—and Pearl is blind to Amethyst’s ulterior motives in bringing Steven to the Kindergarten. Part of this is Pearl’s fault, as she should know Amethyst well enough over thousands of years of friendship to understand why she might be upset, but a lot of it is Amethyst’s fault for her stubborn refusal to talk things over. It takes something drastic to break this pattern, and it comes in the form of their first physical fight on-screen.

While Steven Universe has always veered against violence being the answer, its exciting fight sequences often go against this message. Not here. Amethyst and Pearl’s fight is just brutal, even when Amethyst gets what may be her most badass line in the series (“I wouldn’t wanna fight me neither!”) and the choreography’s on-point as ever. Aivi and Surasshu obviously help, but Amethyst’s blind rage quickly giving way to her self-loathing is heart-wrenching on its own, especially when we see how futile her attacks are. And when you think the worst of it is over, it ends with this:

The ambiguity afforded to this scene is incredible for a children’s show. While watching it over and over reveals that Amethyst is clearly stepping away before Steven bubbles, in the moment itself it’s uncertain whether her exclusion was intentional on her or Steven’s part. Obviously Steven’s not a monster, and immediately is concerned, but physically separating Pearl and himself from Amethyst encapsulates the latter’s self-exile in a way that’s succinct, elegant, and tragic. Having it not be immediately clear whether she’s the one doing the exiling is icing on the cake.

While this is Amethyst’s moment to shine, Steven gets to show off his maturity by realizing he’s in over his head. It’s Pearl that needs to talk with Amethyst, but there was a time where Steven wouldn’t know that, and Pearl wouldn’t have listened even if he did. I appreciate that his contribution isn’t overplayed, because this isn’t really his story, but I’m also glad he isn’t limited to a standard “hey stop fighting!” role.

The positive reinforcement for Steven about talking versus fighting has major benefits down the line. He, and we, are shown that talking things out, even when you’re sorta bad at it and it’s awkward, beats fighting. There’s a straight line connecting the conclusions of On the Run and Mr. Greg that I adore; Steven presents the same solution to a longstanding conflict, but where the former comes from a place of confusion and desperation, the latter is a planned and confident maneuver (and in song!).

I don’t wanna think about what Amethyst would be like without Michaela Dietz. In the wrong hands, the character’s slangy lexicon would aggravate and alienate viewers over the age of ten, but Dietz’s natural delivery makes every line feel wonderfully unforced (give or take a “Chill it, dude” that not even she could salvage). This skill by itself would be enough to make her casting worthwhile, but episodes like On the Run let her show off her impressive range and criminally underused singing voice. Dietz has openly discussed how her experience growing up as an adoptee affects her portrayal of Amethyst, and her vulnerable performance exhibiting Amethyst’s anger and sorrow in the Kindergarten is some of her series-best work.

On the Run continues the show’s trend to put character first even in heavy lore episodes; with all the emotional tension here, it can be easy to forget just how much we learn. Not only is Amethyst from Earth, but lots of Gems are, and it was kind of a huge deal to the rebellion. This is a game changer, but we care more about whether Amethyst and Pearl will make up, even though we’ve already had two entire episodes about their feuding natures. 

Still, this is hardly to say the lore is brushed aside. Even if the Gem Odd Couple is one step closer to the healthy sisterhood of Last One Out of Beach City, the lingering final shot of Kindergarten before it cuts straight to black leaves an impression of its own. We’re in this deep, folks.

Future Vision!

The lovely melancholy feeling of the train ride gets another day in the sun when Steven and Amethyst take Peridot on the scenic route back to the Kindergarten in Back to the Kindergarten.

Now We’re Only Falling Apart not only shows the moment Amethyst was left behind, but the moment Pearl’s anti-Amethyst sentiment was born: this might’ve been a very different relationship if nobody had bumped Pink Diamond to the ground.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

The amazing tone of Kindergarten gets this high marks already, but finally getting some development on Amethyst and Pearl’s relationship after hemming and hawing for forty episodes? Yeah, put it up there.

Top Ten

Steven and the Stevens

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

On the Run

Warp Tour

The Test

Ocean Gem

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Future Vision

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

No Thanks!

     3. Fusion Cuisine      2. House Guest      1. Island Adventure

#on the run #steven universe #su #steven universally #review