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mediumgayitalian · 3 months

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y’all i cannot stop fucking thinking about it. will with his big blue eyes, youngest of them all, completely musically untalented and rhythmically challenged but by the gods does he understand the human body. following lee around holding his quiver and rattling off whatever he just learned from watching michael in the infirmary. doted on by his big siblings. talking for hours about a galaxy far far away with heroes who choose to save the world, aren’t forced to, hey, they’re heroes, just like you, lee! and his siblings have dreams, they know the prophecies, they look at their little brother and they know he will be alone. they don’t know why or how yet but they can feel in their very soul that he will be out in the stupid world with all its hatred and violence and he will have to defend himself. and he can’t shoot straight and he cries when he hurts someone in training, and all he wants to do is help, and he doesn’t understand that people can be cruel and they will take his kindness and bleed him dry. and a war is coming. they can feel it. do you think they would be desperate? for themselves as much as will? i don’t know how long i will live. i don’t know how long i have left. but you will be there, son of phoebus. i know you will. remember me, okay? remember how i loved you. remember how we loved each other, remember how we healed and fought and cared. please. please, will, remember us. and remember how we loved you.

#I AM FUCKING SOBBING ON THE GROUND #WHY DID I WRITE THAT 😭😭😭😭😭 WHY DID I OPEN THE CAN OF WORMS #all i can think of is lee!!#with his brothers and sisters and his gift of prophecy!!!#KNOWING he is going to die!!!!#knowing will is the only one who is going to survive!!!!#what do you do with that!!!#how do you deal with that!!!!#how do you put armour around his heart???#how do you protect him when you know you won’t be there #when you know he’ll have NOBODY???#HOW?????? HOW DO YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF #WITH THE GODS????#and knowing how he finally goes…..#do you think it haunts him in elysium #or do you think for once the gods we merciful #and let him die before he saw the look in wills eyes #as he cradled the pieces of his skull #and sobbed #and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed #gods help me.#will solace #lee fletcher #will solace & lee fletcher #will solace angst

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shadowqnights · 2 months

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crazy how everything about mcd is so much more insane when you apply what i call the dog rule and that is when they are all dogs now in some way shape or form: an analysis.

when garroth is purebred, a hound made to serve, that does not know how to do anything but heel. he has purpose. he is sleek and well-groomed because he has to be, because he has always been tended to. a dog that falls into desperate spiral when that dynamic shifts - because who is he, without someone to follow, protect, love? a dog that becomes flea-bitten and hungry when he runs because he was never taught to take care of himself, to be his own master. he falls apart. he needs this, he knows, but what is he without someone to own him? a dog that cannot lead any kind of pack or family because it is afraid to understand the kind of animal it is if not in submission. if a parent, a teacher, he is promptly punished by his students as cruel reminder that he is not allowed to find joy in anything other than what his makers intended. a dog so desperate that it offers up its own leash to whoever will take it when things crumble - even if it means turning back to distasteful company. as long as it is held at all. time and time again, he tried to tend to the younger, weaker. he tried to feed them and lick their wounds - and time and time again, only to be mauled in turn. no more, he thinks. life was simpler when he was mindless, just four paws and a purpose. if that was what he was bred for, what business does he have pretending?

when laurance is a stray but made out of love. his coat shines thanks to the love of his family, his sister. he is sleek and well-groomed with them. the nether breaks him in, turns him a little wild. gives him cause to show teeth when threatened. when he bites, he mauls. there is something wicked in his animal eyes. he goes for the kill. when he bites, something in him wants it to hurt - whether his prey or himself, he can't tell. a part of the dog believes the suffering is natural because its maker declared it so. the pain wanes in and out like the cycle of the moon; life is unpredictable. he is braced to survive, sometimes with teeth already bared to expect the suffering. constantly on edge, pacing, waiting for the next disaster. a loyal, desperate pet that will follow to the ends of the earth - a desperation that borders on obsession. he will eat you alive, if only you would stay with him, inside of him, never leave him. never look at anyone else the way you would him. don't put him on a leash - let him choose who to lope after. his leash, in fact, is in tatters. he can't be collared. he merely follows, hungry at the heels of who fed him. his sense of duty is not of obligation but of love, a sacred need to stay at the side of those who treated him with kindness and them alone. and worse, he is burdened with the constant fear that if left untethered for too long, that obsession might turn carnal - that if wronged, he may not kill to eat and feel full, but kill merely to feel the blood on his teeth, just to feel the pain. feel something. anything. that he might enjoy the taste of his loved ones. maybe a leash is the right thing. maybe he needs to be caged. he can't bear either thought.

when they both bite the hand that fed them. when they bite each other. when they are dogs and kind of made for each other.

dante is a dog. aaron is a dog. aph is a dog. katelyn? oh you fucking guessed it. ivy. jeffory. zane. yeah. all of them are dogs. welcome to the dog rule fuckers its exactly how it sounds. are you sick of the word dog yet.

#i feel very passionately about my dog rule. i like dog metaphors. sue me #mcd #minecraft diaries #aphmau #garrance #garroth ro'meave #laurance zvahl #if god may grant me a brand. let my passion for dog talk in mcd be it #i have like rambled on for HOURS to oomf about the mcd dogs i am also really into aaron dante dog duo #and the aaron-aph wolf dynamic could be REALLYYY interesting.#but thats like a whole can of worms that is mostly gaping open no one has asked me to spill yet is all #every thing comes back to garrance.#AND THIS IS JUST LIKE A CLIFFNOTES VERSION OF MY THOUGHTS I HAVENT GOTTEN INTO THE HALF OF IT #also if you see the hints of me and oomfs vampire au no you do NOT

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purplink8 · 5 months

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Can I be real for a second? I don't think L giving a foot massage to Light was very in-character of him. Like manga!L would've totally scoffed at how pathetic anime!L appeared when he did that.

I like the rain scene bc it's really pretty (also Light MOANS bc of L? *sighs* yeah i ship lawlight) but I'm always so ?? at anime!L's behavior? The anime made L way too melancholic and y'know self-deprecating kinda guy. In contrast, manga!L (whom I love to death) is so so confident in doing what he's doing and has the time of his life during the Kira case as he's intellectually challenged (by Light) as he figures out the case little by little.

I don't get where the anime creators got the idea that L is a very sad character who cares about justice so much so that he's actually Justice itself? Manga!L enjoys solving cases. I'm not saying that L doesn't care about justice at all- just that he cares more about winning.

So, the anime creators looked at a character who cares about winning (& his own ego) than everything else and decided to... make him give a foot massage to his nemesis (surprise surprise bible symbolism featuring L as Jesus *🤮* coming up) apparently due to accepting Light's (boy's first debut as Judas) 'betrayal' how can there be betrayal when there was no trust between them in the first place and saying "It is the least I can do to atone for my sins"...

The only way I could've made a little sense of this is if L was mocking Kira with that line but the anime just had to go above & beyond to make it (L's actions) seem too genuine for that to be true. which is. so. FRUSTRATING

Manga!L wouldn't have done anything like that. Not even ironically (he'd have thought it to be below him for pretending to be accepting his defeat mockingly to Kira). Even Manga!L's not enough of a bastard to try to compare himself with Jesus (and just after knowing (god knows how) that he's going to die)- like that's too stupid omg: even for a mockery.

Does he actually think that Light would pick up on the (him as Jesus) symbolism and be like 'oh no! L is too noble like Jesus to die by my betrayal i'm such a bad judas how come i NEVER NOTICED THIS BEFORE'... and decide to spare L's life? Or embrace his inner Judas like the bad bitch he is and finish L for that godawful mockery of Jesus?

Whenever I think about Anime!Light's in-character reaction I crack up as it would be smth like 'wow this guy who graduated summa cum laude from torture university is pretending to be Jesus? lol what a real piece of work. would've expected better from you L: so pathetic lmao i hope rem kills you soon i'm so done with you rn- rip 💀'

Manga!L (if he knew he were going to die (don't know how that's possible in the anime; still we're talking about how the anime creators seem to see L as Jesus so ~anything is possible~) that is) would never go 'guess i'll die' accept his defeat offering a foot massage to his enemy and inwardly throw a pity party being all "… It'll be lonely, won't it?" GIRL you were the one going on & about how you'd EXECUTE Kira once you catch him on live tv (also saying that you'd bring Kira's head to the task force) I REALLY doubt you'd feel lonely if either one of you were to die- that (killing each other) was the point!!

Manga!L is a selfish character: he values his victory above all else so the anime making him accept defeat that easily + gracefully doesn't sit well with me.

#death note #l lawliet #light yagami #manga vs anime #manga!L #anime!L #anime!Light #the rain scene #the foot massage scene #yes i ship lawlight; no i don't think the rain scene was very faithful to L's character in the manga; yes we exist #as you can see i rlly RLLY don't like anime's take on L: i prefer the og manga!L :)#anime!L just isn't my cup of tea #manga!L's confidence in his assholery is much rather appreciated #i keep thinking about how i don't like certain parts of dn anime: the first of which being this rain scene #the second being how the anime handles Sayu's kidnapping and Light's reaction to it #but that's a can of worms i'll open later #i can't shut up apparently so here's a teaser: Light wouldn't have MURDERED Sayu OH MY GOD READ THE GODDAMN MANGA #in which he bends over backwards to protect her! and succeeds!! (at the cost of losing the death note to Mello) would you look at that??#yeah i'm aware anime!Light doesn't kill Sayu but the way he's shown seriously considering it #(and choosing to let her live only so as to not increase suspicion)#leaves me so ANGRY #SAYU MEANS A LOT TO LIGHT OK?#he would not fucking do that #aaaaand....end rant #p #my meta #sorta #100

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bl0rbohandbag · 14 days

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– some vampire the masquerade x changeling the lost concepts that will not leave me alone.

"but vtm and ctl are from different settings–" shhhhhh :)

before i begin: i have been dabbling in vampire the masquerade and changeling the lost content for a while, i am not a fan of changeling the dreaming and vampire the requiem is unfamiliar to me. anyway! buckle up, enjoy the ride, this is kind of long.

trigger warning for abuse/unhealthy parental relationships because vamps i guess.

first of all: i recently read vtm: bloodstained love. while it focus on the more romantic and sexual aspects of kindred relationships with a lot of references to obsessive/posessive behavior and grotesque acts of love, it also made me wonder how those would translate to platonic or familial relationships. add some changeling shenanigans to that and we have some interesting concepts to play with! and with that being said...

– you're a changeling. kidnapped into arcadia and trapped there for who knows how long. in your durance, you dream of going back home, of reuniting with your friends and family, escaping your keeper to finally, finally enjoy freedom in the world you were born in.

– and one day, you do escape. back into your world, never feeling completely safe with your keeper looking to get you back and huntsmen being a very real threat, but you're ready to rebuild your life and enjoy your newfound freedom.

– there are various mentions throughout the ctl books on how unsuspecting or heedless changelings might have their freedom stolen again, this time by kindred. so, as it turns out, you'll have to deal with creatures other than the true fae who are more than willing to keep you caged!

the angst potential in a changeling reuniting with ther parent(s) only to find out they've become something inhuman, and not all that different from their keeper is unmatched.

maybe you watch them from a distance first. maybe you excitedly seek them out. maybe you just randomly bump into your parent by complete chance, after presuming them dead or deciding to abandon your old life. maybe they find you.

but the point is: they're kindred. so different from when you last saw them, as a teenager, as a child, before you were taken. as if having huntsmen and your keeper after you wasn't trying enough, a vampire parent comes (back) into your life to make it even more complicated.

a ventrue dad will make his ghouls your bodyguards, following you day and night. it makes you insanely uncomfortable, as you liken them to changelings serving true fae back in arcadia. he says it's because of his own dangerous kindred affairs that might affect you, but after an unplesant encounter with the huntsmen he might just decide you shouldn't be out and about at all.

your parent is either a neonate or an ancilla by the time your return from arcadia. your fetch is dead for whatever reason, expired, after living a life in your stead, automatically making the vampire believe their child is dead– now imagine their surprise and confusion when they see you– real you, living and breathing. and maybe you're distraught, too, seeing that they haven't aged a day or should, depeding on how long you've been gone, be most definetly dead.

(this is absolutely NOT going to send the vampire parent into a mental breakdown and spiral into obsession upon discovering the child they have lost and buried was literally a soulless copy of their real child who got kidnapped by faeries. a clone made out of twigs and a cat's eyes that stole their child's place and they never noticed. everything is just fine. it does not them affect them mentally at all :3)

(bonus points if the fetch was killed by the vampire parent's enemies after being entagled in their mess. they feel like they are getting a second chance and will absolutely not screw it up! cue you, poor changeling, being locked away or put under heavy surveillance.)

on the other hand, a kindred parent who currently has a living fetch of their child just being EXTREMELY distraught when they keep spotting someone who looks exactly like their kid at random places they definetly shouldn't be at is very funny and kind of unsettling!

(a vampire mom just feeding on mortals at the club, socializing with other kindred, perhaps dealing with some unresolved issues with her sire, etc. Then she spots you, her real kid, unbeknownst to her, just chilling, among all those dangerous vampires, when you're supposed to be in your dorm room at least a thousand miles from there. she calls the fetch's phone, expecting you to pick up and start explaining yourself. your fetch answers the phone, talks to her, sleep-drunk and confused as to why she's calling so late, but the person she's looking at has made no motion at all. they're not talking. they have not picked up the phone. but that's her kid's face, she's sure. what the fuck?)

for low-humanity ancillae/elder kindred, having their child back might bring about long-forgotten mortal feelings of genuine parental love, although they might express in the very unorthodox way kindred would. they simply do not understand why their child does not want to be around them. they just want to bond with you and keep you safe where kindred and fae can't get to you, make up for lost time. what do you mean they're "just like your keeeper"?

i think a lot of kindred parents will leave you be, mostly brujah or gangrel, knowing you'll be safer if they keep you away from their world. provided there was no fetch to replace you, they think it's amazing enough you were found alive and well after years of being a missing person. you don't like talking about what happened in your... "durance"... fine, they'll keep the investigators off your back, too. they might not even know you're no longer human. but they are going to check on you once in a while, or keep tabs on you, or even have some of their people watch you from a distance. just to make sure.

(just don't let them catch wind of all the changeling shenanigans or huntsmen attacks on your person. that might just change their mind...)

kindred parents might believe you're safer away from their world, yes, but they can just as easily bring you into the mess of kindred society without a second thought.

not very fun being a fairest when your toreador mother insists you show your mien to impress her fellow clan mates and other kindred with your overwhelming beauty. she's always been a pageant mom, so this shouldn't surprise you. there's several layers of wrongness to this, from having your changeling identity exposed to multiple vampires to further your mother's social status to this very situation bringing back so many unpleasant memories from your durance, and it's bound to end badly.

(the toreador pageant mom could very easily be a nosferatu pageant mom, a cleopatra now living vicariously through your fae-given beauty.)

(she will realize how terrible a mistake that was when vampires start really paying attention to you. or not. who knows.)

(gifts that could easily have come from a true fae lord start pouring in. letters written in excessive passion, bouquets of bloody roses, dresses made out of human skin, all delivered by equally dazed-looking ghouls. perhaps your mother will know, then, she fucked up severely. or maybe she'll just tell you to be grateful for those wonderful gifts.)

on another hand, a nosferatu parent taking one look at their fairest child's mien and deciding "oh. no kindred can see you like. ever. stay away from toreador specifically". you don't know what a toreador is, but you'll try to heed the advice.

your ancilla mother meets your motley and proceeds to show them baby pictures of you, taken in the 1870s shortly before your abduction to Faerie. they are very well preserved and you look most proper in your little sailor outfit.

you have a beast/ogre seeming and your gangrel parent thinks you're pretty rad :) you go hunting together.

your tzimisce dad has living furniture made out of human skin, but it's nothing you haven't seen in arcadia before. he's a little disappointed by your lack of enthusiasm, and very offended when you tell him your keeper had better taste in couches. trying to evade a tzimisce dad after he's been made aware of your existence is a difficult task, and you will get caught and held captive at one point (for your safety, of course!). if there is a fetch currently living your life, they will be immediately killed or horribly tortured (read: vicissitude) for the crime of decieving the tzimisce and impersonating you, regardless of you already having decided to leave said fetch alone.

(tzimisce dad thinks you should be thankful. he dealt with the imposter. shouldn't you be happy?)

(if he’s got cash and has some land within his domain to spare, he might let you build a little home not too far from his own to give you a semblance of independence to try and settle you down. might.)

(on the other hand, you have the chance to become a really good escape artist. take your time in captivity with your tzimisce dad to practice your escaping and running away skills, after all, every good changeling needs it! you also get the bonus of reliving your childhood/teenagehood with all the sneaking out.)

(quick intermission: all of these concepts might result in low-clarity for the changeling?? i'm not too sure how clarity damage works yet.

update: it absolutely might!)

your malkavian mother thinks she's plagued with visions of her missing child, glimpses of what they might look nowadays, wherever they are. this is actually you, visiting her in her dreams through oneiromancy.

(everyone thought, back then, that it was just a scare. you wandered into the forest and for ten hours people searched for you, only to find you safe and sound, without a scratch in your body or a speck of dirt in your shoes hours later. but she knew better. she knew that wasn't really you. it haunted her for the rest of her life, and it haunts her unlife even now. she never made it to the hedge.)

you can't take your tremere parent ANYWHERE. you give in after endless nagging and take them to a goblin market, but their arrogance will get them roped into terrible deals if you don't keep your eyes on them full time. you do take this as an opportunity to show off your changeling capabilities. you're in your element.

(you also drop life-altering bits of Faerie lore at random or inappropriate times. it sends them spiraling. you just hope they won't share it with anyone...)

darkling changeling just chilling with their nosferatu dad in the sewers, sharing rats.

and that's all for today, folks.

#i put more effort into this than i should have #child in here is being used as a gender neutral term to daughter/son just to clarify #there is a lot that can be expanded upon like. how long does it take for the changeling to figure out their parent is a vampire?#how long does it take for the vampire to figure out their child is a changeling?#there is also a very real possibility of kindred trying to embrace/ghoul their changeling child not knowing how that is not going to work #we haven't even discussed court changelings.#and let's not get into changeling blood right now lmao #that's a whole can of worms we'll open at another time.#i had vtm in mind but if you want to interpret that as vtr please feel free!!#vtm #ctl #vampire the masquerade #changeling the lost #toreador #tzimisce #ventrue #gangrel #malkavian #long post.#wod #world of darkness #chronicles of darkness

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gottagobackintime · 1 year

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I liked that we only got to see Trent look at Colin this episode. Having him observe Colin and then deciding what to do feels like a very Trent thing to do. Yes, Colin kissing Michael where anyone could see is bad if he wants to keep it a secret. And that's a conversation that I'm not getting into now. BUT, what does Trent actually know about Colin in terms of being out or not. He knows that Colin isn't out to the public, obviously, because it would have made headlines. But he doesn't know if Colin is out to his teammates and leaders. We know he isn't but Trent doesn't. He saw Colin and Michael kiss and he heard what Colin said in the latest episode. Yes, Colin brought Michael to Sam's restaurant and introduced him as his pal, his wingman. Trent could have heard that, he was sitting close by, but did he? I mean every shot we got of him he was clearly deep into his own conversation with various people at his table. Would he have picked up what Colin said, and remembered it? I don't think so.

So he observes Colin, because now he knows something new but not enough. And I know that a lot of you feel like Trent should warn him, tell him that he saw them kissing. But honestly, Colin is an adult who knows that there are no out players. He knows that it would make headlines, he knows he's not out to the team, and he still chose to kiss his boyfriend in an alley. Sure he could have been drunk or just wanted to kiss his boyfriend, consequences be damned. But he still chose to do it. So Trent has two choices, act like Colin doesn't have a clue what it's like being gay, telling him he needs to be careful because people can see him if he's kissing his boyfriend in public (which would honestly be condescending) or he doesn't say anything, he waits and sees how Colin acts, to see if he should mention anything to him. Trent has clearly chosen the latter option for now and we'll see where this goes.

There's also the "is Trent gay or not" aspect, I say he is. And if we're going with that assumption we also have to think about, is Trent himself out? Or rather, is he out to people at work. Because coming out isn't a singular event, you'll always come out. Every time you meet someone who doesn't know who you are, you'll have to decide if you're going to come out to them or not. I'm leaning towards him, not being in the closet, but rather him keeping his private life to himself and being open with friends and family. He's not hiding it and he's not ashamed, he just doesn't tell anyone, because it's not relevant when he's at work. And I say that as someone who loves reading fanfics where he is an openly gay sports journalist.

Where am I going with this? I don't know, I never know what my point is. BUT, I do think that we'll see similar scenes of Trent just observing Colin until perhaps the Amsterdam episode. And that's where he tells Colin that he knows and/or that he's gay himself. And then we might see Colin confiding in him and Trent might help him with a statement for when he's ready to tell the world. Because I do believe that he will tell the public. I don't know if it will be because he's been outed or he's doing it of his own free will. I don't really mind, I think they'll give us something that will rip our hearts out either way. But I am a believer in "gay mentor" Trent Crimm, giving Colin someone "in the business" to confide in.

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #trent crimm #colin hughes #nicole watches stuff #I just had to get this thought out because I'm so excited about this storyline #and that look from Trent was *chef's kiss*#I wonder if we'll get more comments like ''sounds a bit gay bruv'' but with Trent present #that I think would be ''nice''#nice in a ''another gay person hears it and doesn't let it slide'' way #because colin not saying anything is understandable and been there done that got the t-shirt you know #because you don't want to open that can of worms when it's people you like #but while Trent has gotten to know these people he even seems to like at least some of them #I wonder if he would be quiet if he heard that #and then there's also the aspect of having someone else say it for you #anyway gay trent crimm is real you cannot take that from me

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